#it kind of isn't? like you can have something be it's own thing.

[lostrologyy]

cw: obsessive behaviour, mention of male masturbation, stalking, stolen panties, mommy issues if you squint (my boy just wants some love😔).

a/n: tysm for all the love my first post is receiving<3 smth short but I hope you like this and know that my requests are open if you wanna share ideas¡! english isn't my first language. not proofread¡! —— brahms!simon riley au masterlist

brahms!simon riley who after some time can't help himself anymore, he has to be closer to you, he wants — no, he needs to touch you, to feel your naked skin under his. his mind is so infatuated by your presence that he knows he would tear out his own heart and give it to you in a silver plate if you asked for it, and soon he intents to find a way to trap you somehow so that you can never leave his side, you're his gift after all, all his.

watching you 24/7 through the gaps of your bedroom the house doesn't satisfy him anymore, his wrist aching from how many times he's spent touching himself at the sight of you doing mundane things around the mansion, especially after you decide that something —or someone— is definitely happening and you start to treat the doll like a normal human being, showing the maternal affection that he's so desperate for.

so he starts stealing some of your stuff, maybe a pretty dress that in his opinion enhances the colour of your eyes, one or two pieces of jewellery — a ring or a necklace that you wear almost all the time, even a pair of heels you seemed to love are suddenly gone. it gets to a point where your underwear starts disappearing too, either from your drawers or the laundry basket, only to find them days later with a strange musky smell and sticky to the touch.

you start getting paranoic at the idea of being the object of desire of some kind of psycho, the anxiety almost forcing you to cancel your date with the cute guy that delivers the groceries every week. that's okay, he would've ended up dead anyway, why would you need him if you already have a real man at home?

but one of these days brahms!simon is gonna get tired of watching you from affar, and not even cuddling your silky dress after cumming in your dirty underwear is going to relieve that itch he has for you and that is growing with every day you spent living at the heelshire's mansion.

lostrologyy © 2025.

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on Peter Pettigrew? And if you ship him with anyone, who?

thank you very much for the ask, pal! peter is a fascinating character and i always enjoy properly thinking about him.

because - let's be honest - he really goes under the radar, in both canon and fanon. he's extraordinarily cunning, ruthless, powerful, adaptable, emotionally literate, intelligent…

and yet you wouldn't get that impression if you take harry's narrative at face value. even after peter escapes at the end of prisoner of azkaban/cuts his own hand off in goblet of fire.

[which is one of harry's most interesting character traits - his tendency to split the world into black-and-white "good people" and "bad people" is something we talk about a lot, but he also has a tendency to split the world into "special people, who have agency" and "unspecial people, who don't"... hence his attitude to characters such as stan shunpike.]

but the main thing i find fascinating about peter isn't actually the way his talents are overlooked by the text. it's the way he embodies one of the series' central messages: that "it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live" [PS 12].

when dumbledore says this to harry, it's as advice on how to deal productively with grief. and obviously that's a good and healthy message to receive - especially for the children who are philosopher's stone's intended audience.

but the statement has another application, which ties to another one of the series' themes: that all that glitters is not gold.

so much of the overarching seven-book narrative is about jealousy and longing - harry's longing for a family, ron's jealousy of harry's fame, petunia's longing for magic and jealousy of lily, snape's longing for lily and jealousy of james, etc.

and it's also about how this jealousy and longing leads us to see what we want to see - ron becoming convinced that harry's feelings for hermione are romantic, lupin's inability to criticise james leading to his rage when harry's appalled at him walking out on tonks, the death eaters being convinced that voldemort is a champion of pureblood oligarchy, fudge refusing to believe that voldemort has returned etc.

as both ron and harry learn after ron stabs the locket-horcrux, you have to live the life you actually have and you have to know the people you know as they actually are. you can't imagine them into something they're not, become sad and/or angry when they fail to meet expectations it was always impossible for them to fulfil, and then let that sadness and anger fester until the poison within you can no longer be contained...

which is the peter pettigrew special, really...

sirius' assessment of peter in prisoner of azkaban comes in clutch for us on this point:

"Because you never did anything for anyone unless you could see what was in it for you. Voldemort's been in hiding for fifteen years, they say he's half dead. You weren't about to commit murder right under Albus Dumbledore's nose, for a wreck of a wizard who'd lost all of his power, were you? You'd want to be quite sure he was the biggest bully in the playground before you went back to him, wouldn't you?" [PoA 19]

i love this line for a lot of reasons - especially sirius' tacit admission that he and james once met that criteria of "biggest bully in the playground" - but i particularly like the way it aligns peter with [dumbledore's assessment of] voldemort's school friends:

"As he moved up the school, he gathered about him a group of dedicated friends; I call them that, for want of a better term, although as I have already indicated, Riddle undoubtedly felt no affection for any of them. This group had a kind of dark glamour within the castle. They were a motley collection; a mixture of the weak seeking protection, the ambitious seeking some shared glory, and the thuggish gravitating toward a leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty. In other words, they were the forerunners of the Death Eaters, and indeed some of them became the first Death Eaters after leaving Hogwarts." [HBP 17]

peter is fundamentally someone ambitious seeking shared glory. and he does this - like, it's implied, quite a lot of death eaters - by putting on his rose-tinted glasses and deluding himself into believing that the person he expects to share that glory with him actually will share it... until everything comes crashing down and he's forced to see that they actually think of him as unworthy of sharing anything with. and his fury becomes toxic.

because peter is someone who inherently views himself as a follower.

lord voldemort would never - to borrow sirius' phrase - do something for someone else unless he could see what was in it for him. but voldemort's selfishness is because he sees himself as the unparalleled superior of everyone he meets - there's no need to help those under you if they're the only people who benefit!

peter's selfishness is slightly different - everything he does is in pursuit of vicarious glory. he wants to be praised and rewarded by a leader he's made more powerful. he doesn't want to be that leader himself.

peter the marauder

indeed, canon emphasises that this is what attracted him to james and sirius:

To Sirius' right stood Pettigrew, more than a head shorter, plump and watery-eyed, flushed with pleasure at his inclusion in this coolest of gangs, with the much-admired rebels that James and Sirius had been. [DH 10]

obviously this is harry's subjective view ["much-admired rebels" is a bit of a stretch, let's be real…], which the text does acknowledge ["or was it simply because harry knew how it had been, that he saw these things in the picture?"].

but harry's assessment of the teenage peter here matches the one we're given across the series:

"Pettigrew... that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?" said Madam Rosmerta. "Hero-worshipped Black and Potter," said Professor McGonagall. "Never quite in their league, talent-wise." [PoA 10]

James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom farther and farther away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Wormtail was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded. After five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn't tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. [OotP 28]

peter is set up as someone who's understood by everyone not to occupy the same role in society [both "society" as in the social ecosystem of hogwarts, and as in wizarding society more generally] as james and sirius.

this is almost certainly for class and blood-status related reasons - and hello to another anon on this point:

the fact that the only parent mentioned in the text is his mother strongly suggests that he's a half-blood with a muggle or muggleborn father [which his narrative parallels with snape, his narrative relationship with voldemort, and his narrative contrast with barty crouch jr. also support].

the way his mother is spoken about by other characters in prisoner of azkaban - especially fudge: "black was taken away by twenty members of the magical law enforcement squad and pettigrew received the order of merlin, first class, which i think was some comfort to his poor mother" [PoA 10] - sets her up as the passive figure in her relationship to the state [the ministry deigns to provide her with comfort], thus implying that she was ordinary, middle-class, and respectable, but lacked the class-based social power to occupy a more active role in the relationship.

[contrast her, for example, with someone like augusta longbottom, who is a much more active figure narratively.]

but she also can't come from a working-class background, because otherwise voldemort wouldn't seek to humiliate peter by making him live in snape's slum house as his servant.

but peter is also set up as someone who - while he accepts that james and sirius are his superiors and doesn't want to usurp their positions - nonetheless thinks that the two of them will do all they can to increase his chances of helping them accrue more glory, thus allowing the glory he shares in to be all the greater.

and why not? after all, he has plenty of evidence that they'd be capable of doing this, given the lengths they go to for remus…

i think he can be very easily understood as somebody who thinks that - once the three of them have nailed the animagus transformation and achieved their goal of supporting remus during the full moon - then the next thing on james and sirius' list of priorities is putting in a similar level of effort on his behalf.

indeed, the text does imply this - in snape's worst memory, peter goes from being positioned with remus as james and sirius' inferior:

Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag. As he emerged from the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting.

to being physically positioned with remus but clearly wanting to be an active member of james and sirius' shenanigans:

Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows. Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face. [...] Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

to physically joining - but still being excluded from equality of power with - james and sirius:

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James. "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word."   Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular. Wormtail sniggered shrilly. 

to being positioned as sirius' equal under james' leadership:

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..." Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included.

to being included as both james and sirius' equal:

But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James' face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants. Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter. [OotP 28]

but this symbolic ascent towards james and sirius recognising and including him isn't what actually comes to pass, is it?

[and as a little shipping-related aside... this is an immaculate wormbucks or padtail premise.]

clearly, peter's experience from the beginning of his sixth year onwards [so from the autumn of 1976] is one in which his hero-worship of james and sirius [and it is just james and sirius - if he felt aggrieved enough by remus that he wanted to implicate him in the potters' deaths he absolutely could have done so] begins to crumble...

and then to fester...

until he's reached a point where the following isn't something he believes is actually true:

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" [PoA 19]

[this - as an aside - is one of the major differences between harry and james/sirius. harry's understanding of loyalty and sacrifice is much less transactional: "dumbledore knew, as voldemort knew, that harry would not let anyone else die for him now that he had discovered it was in his power to stop it" [DH 34].]

and decides that he should probably transfer his loyalties to the much bigger bully who's just arrived on the scene.

enter lord voldemort.

peter the death eater

while there are some key differences [peter is the one who has to approach voldemort, rather than the other way round, and - as i've said here - i think voldemort withholds the dark mark from him to keep him striving], peter's recruitment by the death eaters has a huge amount in common with draco malfoy's.

[more on which... here.]

voldemort must win him over by validating his belief that james and sirius [and also dumbledore/the order] don't take him and his talents seriously, that they need to be punished for this, and that when peter has humiliated them, he will have the time of his life basking in the glow of the victorious voldemort, who will also reward him spectacularly.

this is what voldemort does with quite a few of his minions - including regulus [another fantastic ship for peter], barty crouch jr. [likewise], and, of course, snape [which flops], all of whom have that corrosive perception of themselves as always being overlooked.

in the first war, then, voldemort must be pretty nice to him.

[or as nice as voldemort ever gets...]

the threats and the punishment come later.

[as another aside, the implication of canon is that voldemort's use of violence against his minions is relatively infrequent - and only used in specific circumstances - in the first war. the egregious torture he subjects them to in the second - and the fact that he does this publicly - shocks, terrifies, and humiliates even the most ardent first war loyalists. i think we can assume, then, that peter returned to voldemort expecting to find him in the same "you catch more flies with honey" mode as in the first war. he was mistaken.]

the contempt 90s!voldemort holds peter in is iconic - so many of his best lines are times he's mocking him!

but something which always stands out to me is that voldemort's contempt for peter is inextricably linked to his previous position as one of the four marauders.

[indeed, i find it fascinating that voldemort says that peter "faked his own death to escape justice" [DH 33], because the only thing he can mean by "justice" in this context is that peter should have let sirius murder him...]

and the most explicit demonstration of this is the fact that he always calls him wormtail.

this is a fascinating twist on the way voldemort plays with the language of intimacy with his death eaters. his favourites get referred to by their given names, while the rest are referred to more formally, using their surnames:

"Severus, here," said Voldemort, indicating the seat on his immediate right. "Yaxley - beside Dolohov." [DH 1]

and, of course, his ultimate favourite gets referred to by her nickname.

but peter isn't being called wormtail by the dark lord as a show of affection... it's an expression of disregard.

it's clear that the voldemort of the second war deeply understands that peter's life between the potters' deaths and his unmasking at the end of prisoner of azkaban [that is, the period when he didn't get the glory he wanted, he just got a dead james, two friends who want to murder him, and a master who hates him] made him start to regret his resentment of james and sirius for not living up to the versions of themselves he'd invented in his head - especially following sirius' death, when he receives a second demonstration of voldemort's contempt for him, since the moment sirius is out of the picture, the dark lord declares him surplus to requirements and dumps him on snape.

voldemort also knows that peter can only suppress these regrets and pretend they don't exist for so long...

and so everything about their second war relationship is voldemort pre-empting a betrayal he knows will come, when peter's long-buried grief for his friends comes roaring back. hence him setting up peter's silver hand to kill him when his loyalty wavers.

or, more succinctly:

"You returned to me, not out of loyalty, but out of fear of your old friends. You deserve this pain, Wormtail. You know that, don't you?" [DH 33]

peter the [un]man

there's one final thing which i think is really interesting about peter's portrayal in the text, and that's his relationship with gender.

he's someone whose presentation as unmasculine is consistent across his appearances - and is consistently intended to be belittling. but he's also someone whose lack of masculinity is used both to underscore his villainy [and to emphasise that it's the worst type of villainy - to quote jkr, "i loathe a traitor"; peter is the most reprehensible villain in the doylist text's eyes] and to misdirect the reader away from it.

before he's unmasked at the end of prisoner of azkaban, peter is associated narratively with neville:

A hatred such as he had never known before was coursing through Harry like poison. He could see Black laughing at him through the darkness, as though somebody had pasted the picture from the album over his eyes. He watched, as though somebody was playing him a piece of film, Sirius Black blasting Peter Pettigrew (who resembled Neville Longbottom) into a thousand pieces. [PoA 11]

and - therefore - is associated with a lack of masculinity in a fond way. neville is a character the reader is supposed to like, but not a character the reader is supposed to aspire to be like.

the text uses both peter and neville's appearance - especially the fact that both of them are noted to be fat [neville gets described as "plump", which is understood as slightly more polite, but the meaning is the same...] - to emphasise this. they're soft and shy and unsporty. they're passive, in contrast to harry [and james'] masculine vigour. they're both followers, but in a good way.

or, they both occupy the role female characters tend to: conduits for the male characters' deeds and desires, but lacking the agency to have deeds and desires of their own.

[hence why i am extremely compelled by @whinlatter's theory that the best lightning-gen parallel for peter is ginny...]

this is the tone of the secret keeper swap. peter is chosen by james and sirius precisely because they understand him as a vessel. he can contain and surround and envelope the potters and keep them safe that way, while sirius - who embodies the active qualities of a masculine protector - protects them by fighting and running and being hunted.

but - of course - peter doesn't perform this feminine protector role. he corrupts it. and this another way the text underscores that he's its worst villain... he bastardises a role typically associated with motherhood.

he and sirius are set up narratively as the parallel to james and lily: sirius is the masculine figure, the father, the "take harry and run"; peter is the feminine, the mother, the "refuses to stand aside".

once peter is unmasked at the end of prisoner of azkaban and his corruption of his maternal role is revealed, the text's presentation of his unmanliness then becomes something used to emphasise how vile and creepy the reader is supposed to find him.

it does this while maintaining the corrupted motherhood metaphor - hence him having to nurse voldemort's pseudo-infant form in goblet of fire, and hence him being positioned as inferior to barty crouch jr., who joins voldemort and peter, his "wife", to take the narrative role of voldemort's son and heir.

this is extremely interesting, since the text typically uses a lack of maternal or pseudo-maternal experience to indicate that its female villains [especially bellatrix and umbridge] are to be understood as villains by the reader. the exceptions, petunia dursley and walburga black, are fascinating parallels for peter, given the way that they also embody the corrosiveness of resentment and the impact it has on truly being able to grieve.

but peter also becomes a second, specific form of unman once he's unmasked...

the eunuch.

it's really striking that - from the latter chapters of prisoner of azkaban onwards - peter is frequently associated with the theme of voyeurism:

But Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion. "I let you sleep in my bed," he said. [PoA 19]

Snape held up a hand to stop her, then pointed his wand again at the concealed staircase door. There was a loud bang and a squeal, followed by the sound of Wormtail scurrying back up the stairs. "My apologies," said Snape. "He has lately taken to listening at doors, I don't know what he means by it." [HBP 2]

the sexual undertone to these associations is really significant, because - when combined with the presentation of peter as a follower/an outsider looking in and with the presentation of him as lacking in virility - it renders him sexless, but in a specifically jealous way. he's not voldemort, whose canon presentation as aromantic is used to underscore his villainy by implying there's something "wrong" with him... he's someone who should have been able to access the "normal" structures of love and family, but who has self-castrated himself from this "normality" due to his corruption arc, and who is forced to watch from the sidelines coveting what others have and regretting his decisions and loathing himself.

[hence my absolute conviction that the reason he's not at home on halloween 1981, when sirius goes to check on him and finds his safe-house empty, is because he's snuck into the potters' house in rat form to watch james and lily be murdered...]

and this idea of peter as somebody unsexed or castrated is really interesting as a lens to examine one of his most sinister moments - his role in the torture and murder of bertha jorkins.

nb: there is a discussion of rape in what follows.

i liked this post by @pangaeaseas - and the discussion in the notes -about voldemort's treatment of peter surrounding his capture of bertha jorkins. but i thought it was interesting how a lot of this discussion focused on the ways voldemort is insulting peter's intellect in this context... and not the ways he's attacking his sexual prowess.

the text is pretty clear - not least in the enormous victim-blaming undertone to the way many characters [especially male ones] talk about bertha's disappearance - that peter brought bertha to voldemort after convincing her that he wanted to engage in some form of consensual sexual encounter [described by voldemort, in pg-13 terms, as a "nighttime stroll"]. voldemort's astonishment at peter managing to accomplish this isn't so much him being shocked that he had the way with words/quick thinking abilities to talk bertha into going with him, it's him being shocked that someone he considers to be so unmanly as to be impotent managed to pull.

and then - it is heavily implied, both in the text itself and in jkr's statements since publication that her editor looked like she wanted to be sick when she described how voldemort was restored to a rudimentary body - to rape:

"He was the penis able-bodied servant I needed, and, eunuch poor wizard though he is, Wormtail was able to violate a woman follow the instructions I gave him, which would return me to a rudimentary, weak body of my own, a body I would be able to inhabit while awaiting the essential ingredients for true rebirth." [GoF 33]

[quillinhand]

i'm 16 episodes into the story of minglan and oh my god @dangermousie what have you done to me???

i'm so obsessed with this show man. the episode length was slightly scary at first but i LOVE the pace, i love the subplots and little moments that do WONDERS for the characterization. everyone has their own motives and ambitions and flaws, and everyone plays to win with the power that they each hold in a society that is based upon those structures of power. i love the relationships; between the sisters, between parents and children, minglan and her grandmother, gu tingye and sheng changbai, even the relationships between sheng hong, big madam and mistress lin(this one deserves a post of their own, gosh). they range from wholesome to fucked up and it's all entertaining and thought-provoking throughout. and above all, i love minglan.

she's so good man. she's careful and clever and quiet and has such a good mind...she's a character that actively thinks and makes informed decisions. it's kind of a small thing to be wowing over but this show pulls it off so well. we're a little over a fifth of the way in and we have such a solid main character that most shows struggle to achieve over the course of their entire run.

any other show would have minglan x yuanruo on the rails by this point, but minglan, so easy in her awareness of her position and in her gentle affection for that oblivious idiot...it manages to space the plotline out while allowing for character growth. ik they ain't endgame but it's all so well-written i'd be on board even if minglan's love interest was a tree.

and she's not a mary sue! her sensibility kinda puts her on survival mode all the time; she's trying to play it safe all the time, acutely aware of her lack of a family to back her up. with a mother dead, a father as good as, and a family of sharks(what is it with the families in this drama???), she has to be, but it leaves her to just suffer through stupid shit like when they had to kneel in front of the ancestors for something molan did(this one is such a piece of work my gosh). i'm curious as to how the show will treat that going forward. ik endgame is gu tingye x minglan, so maybe when paired with that force of nature she kind of opens up? but i also think harder times are coming and as much as i would HATE for her to do so i cannot help but feel as though minglan is going to clam up. :(

this is what i mean man, it's the kinda show where you can see the invisible motions of the plots and character arcs with each plot beat and it isn't something that breaks the flow—instead it makes all the reveals and changes well-earned and important. gahh i'm in love.

[lurkiestvoid]

A tag mentioned 'where the reddit stockbros at' and ... well anyways, for those asking how to help without directly trading:

- Loudly and frequently remind everyone how he didn't found Tesla, he bought the right to call himself the founder, and then ruined a great thing.

- Loudly and frequently discuss how absolutely shit quality Teslas are, using as many specific examples as possible. One of my faves was an old TT where an auto assembly worker went over as many details of a Tesla as they could, pointing out aaaaall the shoddy craftsmanship and cut corners, badly installed gaskets, etc.

- Loudly and frequently discuss Tesla deaths. Especially things like how Mitch McConnell's wife lowered vehicle safety standards and then her sister got drunk and reversed her deathtrap into a pond.

- Bonus points if you can put these comments in relevant places, like say, Yahoo Finance, relevant tags on ANY social media, and under finance/market news and blogs.

- Same goes for SpaceX and Starlink, anything and everything negative you can say about them especially backed up by facts, statistics, or other reports

- Consumer/market sentiment is closely monitored by the industry, regardless of how they spin it in media. No one on the internet actually knows whether or not you own any of these products.

- If you're feeling really edgy, go to whatever subreddits/Yahoo comments section/wherever relevant and pretend to be a Tesla/etc shareholder who gave up and sold. Don't tell others to sell, that shit usually gets shut down pretty quick, but just be 'disgruntled' and 'disappointed' or even scared. "idk guys I'm really worried, this isn't getting better, I just really think it's over, I'm selling"

- If you or anyone you know has any kind of 401(k) or other externally-managed retirement portfolio, mention to them you really hope they don't have any Tesla/etc in there, maybe they should double check/call their broker/whatever

- pressure your banks/universities/etc to divest any Elon-related tickers, stressing things like "volatility," "market sentiment," "bad optics," and "risk"

- never go the Gleeful Troll route, it just gets ignored. If you want to convince people, play the Concerned Consumer/Shareholder angle

- Report Elon Musk's market manipulation to the SEC. They won't really do anything, maybe a slap on the wrist at most, a paltry fine of 0.001% of profits or something, but it's fun and it's free.

The stock market is paper-fucking-thin and fearful sentiment is contagious. It can absolutely be used to an advantage.

IF YOU HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THE MARKET BEFORE, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO START NOW. DO NOT GAMBLE ON TESLA PUTS NO MATTER HOW SURE YOU ARE THAT IT WILL CONTINUE TO GO DOWN NOR HOW MUCH ANY STOCKBROS TELL YOU IT'S SAFE. ANY DEATH-THROES OR SPIKES COULD CAUSE EXPONENTIAL DEBT.

Anyways, a small note: margin calls are not nearly as cut-and-dried as implied. Organizations with millions or billions of worth and assets can easily juggle things to rebalance their risk, a margin call does not automatically force liquidation unless that risk cannot be balanced.

Here is your mission.

[butchjess]

Ok, so you said (maybe a couple weeks ago? I don't know how Time works) "nobody wants to talk about OCD Rory," but I want you to know that I have literally been thinking about that ever since you said it. So... PLEASE tell me about OCD Rory! I want to talk about it! Well, specifically I want YOU to talk about it, but I want to listen!

Okok.... me and @youhavethesun have been talking about ocd rory quite a bit and i've fleshed a lot of it out in my mind because of it. I think it can helpfully inform a lot of rory's worldview and the sense that she is pretty much holding a gun to her own head the entire show. from a meta standpoint the role of good girl is put upon rory only rly after the pilot episode. And to tie it to an in-universe explanation, i think viewing the show through an OCD rory lens makes it a lot more enjoyable to contend with the good girl archetype placed upon her bc it becomes a product of rory's beliefs and the undeniable fact (in her mind) that she was a "mistake" and that is this the reason that her entire family is basically broken. Even though emily tells her that it wasn't her fault in s1, I think that first conflict w/ christopher's parents rly cements this idea in her mind, when before she wasn't necessarily aware of this responsibility that she now has to fix her family, to keep them together, and to prove that her own existence outweighs (or at least balances out) all the negatives that resulted from it.

This framework allows for three main OCD struggles i think rory has. which is moral obsessiveness, self punishment, and a fixation on responsibility/guilt (there are other more official/psychiatric terms for these concepts but i'm treating this like a philosophy paper so i'm making my own terms. and also sometimes i despise psychiatry anyway). Her main rituals I'd say usually center around the idea of what she is "supposed" to do. and she has many habits to help her figure this nebulous idea out (pro/con lists, warping events to fit molds that are easier to understand, planned schedules of her day mainly wrt studying etc).

now, rory does some things that can be viewed as morally reprehensible (sleeping with a married man(even though he told her he broke up w lindsay but i digress), crashing the yacht, kissing jess), she only really does them if they make some kind of sense to her, or if she has just like given up on everything altogether as a way to punish herself for failure, or if it is a purely impulsive action driven solely by instinct and feeling (rare). She sleeps with dean because dean was supposed to be "hers" anyway, and it's her own fault that she let him down and fell in love with jess. she feels like she owes him a lot of things, because he was the perfect guy and she was just defective and couldn't make herself love him. which of course isn't even true, dean was pretty shitty and a source of a lot of her insecurities/irrational fears around relationships. The point is that rory believes dean was a great guy, partly because lorelai kept telling her that he was, but lorelai never saw the worst of their arguments anyway and also assumes dean is just a good guy. she never has any evidence to think otherwise (and she doesn't have a Failed Mirror Test Aggression reaction to him like she does with jess. and logan of course just comes across as an asshole at first glance anyway even to rory). and so this kinda warps a lot of rory's expectations around what a relationship is "supposed" to look like, and what you owe to the people that you're in a relationship with. I'd also like to note that dean makes fun of rory's pro/con lists when she doesn't say i love you back to him in s1. which is ofc unnecessarily cruel but it makes sense that he would take her hesitation as indecisiveness or something, and would link this to her lists that she uses specifically to help herself make the most logical decisions possible.

this extreme responsibility/irrational sense of guilt extends all the way to logan. she throws herself into taking care of him after his accident because he nearly got himself killed and she thinks it was her fault. if she didnt feel the way she did about him cheating on her (because rory did still fully think he cheated on her) and was more about to break up with him, then he wouldn't have gotten hurt. and if he had DIED, it would be even more her fault, and she would never forgive herself. Rory invalidates/tries to destroy her own genuine feelings of hurt, because she was in the wrong to feel that way at all. in her perception. again she warps her feelings/memories to fit this responsibility. so the moral obsessiveness ties directly into her responsibility for others. similarly when rory feels she's been wronged, or that other people have not done what they're supposed to, she feels free to be upset and angry about it. Like only after chris makes a promise to lorelai and rory that he fails to keep yet again, does rory decide he's pretty much a lost cause in her life. especially after luke and lorelai get together.

Of course the biggest and most comprehensible example of rory's self-punishment is after she misses her mom's graduation, and the panic rambling self loathing that results from it.

I don't think most people would respond with this feverish anxious neurotic amount of regret and self hatred and confusion and begging to be hurt to be punished and beaten and killed and blown up with a thousand grenades just to make it up to her mom. for doing the worst thing she could ever possibly do which is to let her down. She's not in love with jess because she can't be, she isn't supposed to be, she would never do something like that who is that girl. who is that FREAK. and she's only calmed down when lorelai turns it around on her and gets her to eat something with her by framing it as the best thing she could do for lorelai. for doing the worst thing in the world (skipping school to see the guy she's in love with and missing her mom's graduation), it has to be evened out. it has to be. everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be. We'll go anywhere you want, my treat, and I won't enjoy it.

[sitting-1n-silence]

Goetic spirit pots/vessels

Before diving in I wanna mention the work of Rufus Opus that I encountered researching for this post. I think he does a better job explaining this concept and it's origins than I could. He also provides a method of making your own, which isn't something I'm going to be getting into much.

Some of his blog and youtube posts explaining goetic spirit pots:

"Working with spirit pots"

"More on spirit pots"

Goetic spirit pots

Spirit pots, witch bottles, and Brass vessels

I will be speaking from my own perspective having encountered the idea of spirit pots from a magical tradition I was invited to explore, with inspiration from the work of Jake Stratton-Kent's work with the Grimorium Verum (who has some of his pots now on display at the Museum of Witchcraft. One can be seen above. 1,2,3), with a focus on the rite I found in the Book of Oberon.

This idea has it's roots in ATRs, and has spread into the wider ceremonial magic community. As some ATRs utilize grimoire magic, spirits, and seals. These different branches of magic mixing lead to the creation of this way of working goetic spirits through a permanent brass vessel. As shown by grimoire magicians like Jake Stratton-Kent, Rufus Opus, and Aaron Leitch. To paraphrase someone I met who practices from a tradition where they make true spirit pots, "Anyone can make a pot and put a spirit in it. It just wouldn't be a traditional (insert tradition) spirit pot."

[Note: I also wanna give a word of caution to anyone looking to research these spirit vessels further. As traditional spirit pots can be beautiful and gruesome. Containing animal parts, blood, bones, blades of various kinds, and more. These images can be jarring to some, so go into any research you do knowing you might encounter these things.]

What is a goetic spirit pot/vessel:

So to quote Rufus "They Aren't Really "Spirit Pots"." These are spirits put in pots. And these pots are very comfortable spirit houses, or highly potent talismans. That is intended to be permanent or long lasting. So these spirit houses are made by including materia that aligns with the spirit you will hopefully be calling into the vessel. The vessel of choice should also be something that can seal, and if possible able to be marked with the desired spirit's seal.

Once a spirit is put into a pot, it becomes significantly more present in your life, as you are making them a permanent house here in your home. You can more easily access this spirit without grand rituals, and they can access you. There becomes less of a need for elaborate rites, as when someone has a spirit in a pot, they might just approach the vessel and speak to it when they're in need and give small offerings. Similar to the way someone might work with an enlivened statue.

What Goes into a spirit pot/vessel:

Its common to find dirt, herbs, stones, bones, and other objects in these pots (I've seen cards, knives, flowers, chains, matches, dice, and more). Oil, fat, and blood are also sometimes used. As well as the spirit's seal. It is also sometimes suggested to write out the purpose of the spirit you're calling and including that in the vessel.

I find that including blessed solomonic talismans is another potent option as well. Either using the whole charm, or by burning the talisman to ash and including that in the vessel. Putting in things like anti-witchcraft charms and such has also proven to be useful in a spirit pot for me. Once given to this spirit these worked objects becomes apart of them.

It's suggested to put grave dirt down first, then dirts that aligning with the realm the spirits operate in, and dirt from your local community or crossroads. Then a rock/stone over top. Followed by your other materia.

Making sure to awaken the spirit of each thing as you put it into the vessel, and having paid proper respects when gathering these things. As well as doing divination to make sure the spirit wants every object you intend you put in, this should be a clear Yes/No type of divination. This process of gathering materials during the proper planetary days and hours can take time, and it should. This is not a process to rush.

Making and Working a spirit pot:

The initial act of creation should be a grand one. Involving a full goetic rite. Rufus Opus gives a good praxis for this in the above videos. It's highly recommended to go through the act of casting a circle or hallowing your ritual space. I also suggest using a ritual knife during the rite, and wearing all white if possible (or another form of ceremonial garb).

When calling and approaching the spirit come with respect, respect for yourself as a magician and respect for the spirit giving you their time. This will run counter to some other traditional approached to goetic magic, but this will bring you the best results. When making the vessel for the fairy queen in the Book of Oberon you see this difference in tone when compared to other operations in the text.

When the vessel has been assembled it becomes time to ask the spirit to enter the pot. Offer the spirit gifts of liquor, fire, and favorable incense, and inform it you will continue to provide these things if the spirit enters the vessel and works for you. Unless you receive some horrific sign telling you "no" then assume the spirit has gone inside. Give the spirit an initial task to prove it's here in the vessel, then give it 2 weeks to work before returning the vessel. Let it rest and do it's task, and only call the spirit back to you if you're certain something went wrong in how the spirit was sent out. If the spirit is called back, it's task clarified, and it still doesn't work than you're vessel may be empty. Though if you just keep providing offerings eventually a spirit will call it home. Also, consider a form of passive divination to look for signs of spirit as well.

Working a pot might be different than working a typical talisman or goetic spirit seal too. Within Oberon there are a few taboos you're supposed to observe, such as not asking the spirit it's name or whether it's a woman or fairy. To work with this fairy you're also supposed to anoint your eyes with an oil special to her. So the spirit being bound might have specific expectations for how they are to be worked properly. Divination or knowing a skilled diviner is helpful in this when a text isn't clear on how to best work with a spirit.

Some pots might need to be continually fed to work their best, this should be done sparingly. Small offerings of candles, incense, and liquor are okay to give when putting the spirit to work. Save food offerings, animal offerings, ect.. for special occasions or when the spirit has done a lot of unpaid work for you. A fat spirit is a slow spirit, so keep them fed but not satiated.

Thoughts on the nature of goetic spirits in this context:

My personal experiences with working spirits this way has lead me to believe that these spirits inhabit the world around us and beyond us. Goetic spirits frequently being spirits of place or necromantic spirits called into these names. Rufus Opus will frequently refer to them as "nature spirits" and I've seen other goetic magicians call them "elemental" or "directional" spirits. Showing an alignment with place/location.

I compare this process of calling spirits by goetic titles to pinning a mask to a shadow. Spirits are happy to be known and receive offerings, and if someone is calling spirits under a certain name local spirits would be happy to fill that role. To no harm to the practitioner, in fact to their benefit. And maybe through this work the spirit will becomes more like the goetic name they're operating under.

As the way I and some see it is, if we both have a house for say Bune then my housed "Bune" may or may not be the same as your housed "Bune." My experience with Bune will be shaped by my environment, what I'm able to provide for him, what his house is made from, and more factors. Especially when you're using local dirt in a spirit house like this, this will impact the way Bune comes through to you through this vessel. Your Bune might come to you in the form of a teacher or wise parental figure, mine might come in a more devilish necromantic form. Both are "Bune", maybe different facets of one grand Bune, or maybe they're different more local spirits who both operate well through Bune's domain and name. Some food for thought before you go housing a goetic spirit.

[droidsdoodles]

In Defense of Eduardo

Before posting this, a new short was produced that features the fandom's least favorites, Eduardo and Mark! While enjoying the short time we had with them, my dissolved brain noticed something kind of interesting regarding Eduardo and his behavior. Now, this thread is just for headcanon/story-telling fun. If that's not your thing, then click off because it gets whacky. Pretty much I'm annoyed at how were given a character who is both complex and simple at the same time and the fandom doesn't see it.

Alright, from the start! There always been a hazy line between eps, comics and shorts of what is and isn't canon. If you go off "comics aren't canon", then Eduardo and Laurel never dated (No. 195 Ex- Girlfriend) . Which is boring because that takes away a fun aspect to explore with him. Artist x Artist. Or his obsession behavior he has toward Edd (No. 164- Info). This leading to people hc his future self is a detective. So I'm just gonna say it. We don't care. Any material given can be used for hc/story telling. For me, The End happen. If they recon it, then this is all an AU. Back into the short. Its very brief short about Edd throwing away trash in his own Edd way of doing things. The neighbors (minus Jon) are shown observing Edd. Mark is observing alongside Eduardo, but Eduardo is where this gets interesting. Eduardo has some form of depression in Beyond Era. Over the loss of what we assume is Jon. Jon has not made a living appearance yet to this date (3/13/2025). It could be a stylized choice but I say, he not taking care of himself. His hair in other eras, had spikey volume to it.

Now it's drawn downwards. Perhaps he not washing it as often so the build up of mats and oil. Another change are his eyes. Eduardo has always had darken eyebags. But now, they are really darker than before. Lack of sleep, racing thoughts, it all weighing him down. And this is from my own life with depression and anxiety, that I'm pulling examples from.

That out of the way, he holding himself too. Once again, animation and style besides, were gonna add depth for fun. He could be self soothing, by holding his bicep. His facial expression is muted compare to Mark's high eyebrow arch. He looks tired, not really there to mock Edd. Cause he doesn't. Eduardo always says something, does something when Edd is messing around. But here, nothing. Instead, he shakes his head, grits his teeth, AND shuts his eyes. That's very odd if you aren't on the Eduardo is the most emotional man alive train like I am. I could make another thread all about how loud his mind and heart is to have a real-event ocd flashback. The stress line and gritting his teeth, you know he really wants to say something, but he has enough restraint now to hold it back and just rub his bicep and calm down.

Edit: 4:40pm In Laurel's Comic with Eduardo, we see a depressed Eduardo. He might not know Laurel is dead (she too has not made a living appearance yet in Beyond) but we can see that he does not take breakups or death very well. He is ruminating. To repeating dwell or think about something in your past, trying to find answers, reason, anything about the event. This can be due to the sudden departure of Laurel, Eduardo wonders if he did something. If there was any signs she was leaving, not enjoying their relationship. Jon seems to know Eduardo does this as he tries to cheer him up in his own way.

In the most recent comic of the two, Mark attempts to cheer him up, be it more physical to which Eduardo DOES NOT LIKE. It could be for various reasons: he scared he going to hurt Mark, he gonna drop him, that he messing with Eduardo or gay panic. Even that Mark is quite strong and he didn't expect that. But his friends are aware that Eduardo can get quite down on himself and do their best to kick start him back into gear. And this is just a few instances where we seen Eduardo like this. The first big ep, Beaster Bunny. I to this day, don't get how we can make multiple stories about the main 4 (Edd, Tom, Matt and Tord) with various things regarding mental health but don't show an ounce of that to the show current depressed character. Beaster Bunny involved a giant chocolate rabbit terrorizing the easter celebration. Eduardo and Mark show up mid-way. Mark saying "You see, isn't it nice to get out of the house? You can get some fresh air-". Do I need to say anymore? EDUARDO HAS NOT LEFT THE HOUSE IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. These are signs he is not feeling that great. He doesn't find joy in leaving his home or joy in events. As they're walking. He once again, holding his bicep. Closed off as he trying to possibly self-soothe, sulk? He doesn't even say anything at Mark line, not even a glance. The rabbit shows up, triggering Mark fear of rabbits who runs away. Eduardo is face to face with something that could kill him. What does he do?

He attempts to go along with the nonsense but he can't even say a funny line. He then APLOGIZES TO THE RABBIT! Because he knows he suppose to act this way, that's what he always done. But his heart isn't there for it. He admits it so. Maybe it what he wanted to say to Mark but didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings. The rabbit not going to say anything either. He then turns and leaves.

Once again WHAT ARE WE DOING!? WHY AREN'T WE LOOKING AT THIS. There is so much potential just from the few seconds we have of him so far. And I'm about to strike gold rn. I went back to The End part 2. To see where that egocentric man finally strikes out and the tower comes crashing down. When he holding Jon, he cries more, there more tears.

And then look at his eyes. I never want to hear that he has no feelings FROM ANYONE. That man is going through all the stages of fear and grief. But it gets worse.

Look at Eduardo's hand placement. One supported Jon's head, the other, cover the wound. I never caught this till today, but he could be applying pressure to the wound. He is trying to keep Jon's blood in his chest as a last ditch effort. When Jon lets out his last breath, he probably felt both his heartbeat stop and his chest stop rising. Signaling Jon had pass. His body pulls back and he just stares down at Jon. Eduardo's eyes tear up, he overwhelmed with emotion and he shuts his eyes and puts his bloody hand on Jon shoulder. You could see this motion as him pulling Jon's body close to HIS OWN CHEST. Probably because his HEART IS SHATTER. So why is it, that nobody wants to write him in future arcs. This man held a dying man, his friend, to his very last breath. Gave us the most emotional reaction to death in the show history. Crickets. He just the grumpy hispanic dude in the corner for yall. And I'm not done. The last part. The patreon Animatic of The End Part 2.

There is a little reversal when Jon passes. Jon used the last of his strength to comfort Eduardo by holding his hand. Their hands just pass each other OR Eduardo pulled his hand back. Either way, that speaks volumes on the two friendship. The show depicted Eduardo as quite mean or bullyish to Jon. But Jon's last moments were to comfort his friend with a poorly timed joke AND to hold his hand right before he pass. Eduardo also visibly cried here. I mean, guys what the fuck.. Eduardo you can argue is currently going through a big character arc. He starts off as bullish and mean to the main 3 and his friend Jon. But PowerEdd shows, this is all a front. He was bullied first and something twisted in him, a trauma response to inflict that same pain onto others. When Edd apologized to him, that was enough for him to switch sides and help Edd. I've ranted about this in another thread if yall are interested. Closing things off, use Eduardo. USE EDUARDO! I feel its a disservice to him as a character not too. He really interesting once you review his behavior and see what makes him act in certain ways. His anger is a front that the fandom still is falling for. A mask, pull it back and you got something pretty compelling to work with in stories and art. Of course, with respect to those with mental illness, do your research so you aren't depicting outdated stereotypes. Tag serious stories or art with triggers if need be. I hope yall enjoy my ramblings. I'm more than happy to discuss Eduardo or the neighbors in general.

[calebslittlecrow]

Take Action (or: why we have methods) Alrighty, so, ever noticed how we've been raised with this idea that if you want something, you gotta work for it? No shortcuts, no freebies getting handed out after a certain age - just hustle and pure grind. And the bigger the goal, the more effort you need to put in. - Want to get a good job? You really need to get those good grades. - Want to get good grades? Say goodbye to your free time, hanging out with your friends will be a distant memory and you need to study as if your life depends on it. - Want to own a house? Well, lets hope you enjoy working ridiculous hours and saving every penny for years to come. Then, you step into the wonderful world of manifestation and shifting, and suddenly people tell you - “Oh, you don’t actually have to do anything! Just trust and let it happen.” And your brain? Immediate confusion. Error message. What did you say? Just do nothing? Huh?

After spending your whole life on the effort=results train, the idea of "just trusting" and "needing to do nothing" just feels wrong, in a way. You try to shift, try to just be in the feeling of your DR, and your brain starts short-circuiting all over the place: - Am I doing this right? - Should I be doing more? - Wait... am I doing TOO much??? Send help x.x And sometimes, depending on who you ask for help with that, you will get the classic "just stop overthinking it!". Ah, yes. Never thought about that. Just... let me hit that "no overthinking" switch in the corner real quick 🙃 Well, for some that advice can help of course, but for others it is easier said than done. A Helpful Trick To Reduce Overthinking: Give Your Brain A Task

Unlearning the mindset of needing to do something? Yeah, that can take forever to change. The second kicker? A lot of people don't even realize they have this mindset. It's just that deeply embedded in the way we think that it feels incredible natural. But guess what, my besto friendo? You don't necessarily need to unlearn this mindset. You just kinda... need to put your brain at ease. Instead of forcing yourself to be suddenly okay with "doing nothing and still expect results", you can show and tell your brain: "Hey, we took action! We did the thing! That means we will shift, because action=result!"

That's why shifting methods exists (outside of giving you the feeling of being in your DR). Not because you need them to shift (spoiler alert: ya don't), but because it helps tricking your brain into feeling like it has done its job. And when your brain believes that, it relaxes instead of overanalyzing everything. If you think about it - your brain just wants to check something off a list. It doesn't even really care what the fuck you do, as long as you can say afterwards "we did it, and we will get what we want". It Isn't about the method or what makes you shift, it's about confidence and convincing yourself that it is working, no matter what. At the end of the day, your thoughts and assumptions shape your reality. Your brain doesn't make you shift, but it's like the middleman to your subconscious, which does play a role in shaping your experience. If your brain is hardwired to believe that some kind of action is necessary, then give it that. Even if it's just the tiniest, most random thing out there. Do it, and then fucking own it. Be confident (or very stubborn) in trusting that it will happen. You did something, so something has to happen in reaction to that. That is how it works, right? And if your brain starts overthinking again, just remind it that you already did the task necessary and to kindly shut up <3

(Obligatory "this doesn't apply to everyone, if it resonates great, if it doesn't, also good" °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°)

[sparkleobserver]

Hiiiii, I'm Wolf! :] I am 25, and my pronouns are he/him. I'm a trans guy and I'm autistic and ADHD. I'm not revealing much else about myself on purpose for my own privacy, but I may later on if I end up feeling more comfortable about it. This post might be subject to change! I will work on the desktop layout of this blog when I get time.

I am the second person who worked on the original iteration of Karmageddeon with Kneeby from around 2012 to 2017, Kneeby's ex boyfriend from that time. Anything bad you've heard about me is probably very exaggerated and honestly twisted to make me look like a bad person. I have grown and changed since then anyway, and any behavior in the past is not indicative of anything current about me. I may take time to answer asks or respond if something isn't urgent, as I am just a very anxious person. Please have some patience with me!

• This media will have a lot of horror themes (psychological horror, in particular). I'm not entirely sure about content like blood and gore yet or other more graphic themes, but I would like to aim for less focus on those things. I will figure it out!

Karmageddeon was Team Escapees in the past!! I thought I would be just dipping and disappearing again, but I want to take Team Escapees back, honestly. So I want to reboot it my own way. It's likely what I create is going to be closer to the original comic than Karmageddeon is, and you might even find things familiar!

So I suppose I am sticking around. I have some guidelines for interacting with me. The most important are next, and it's continued under the cut, with more info.

• If you come just to harass me or bother me about Kneeby, just be aware that I am not going to dignify your asks with an answer or response. Full stop.

• If you support Kneeby, do not interact with me. General DNI criteria apply here. If you are proship, this is not a space for you. I will block over these things.

• To elaborate, if you are proship, I do not want you to interact with this blog or the content here. You have many other spaces. I cannot control what you do in private, but if I see any indication on your blog that you are a proshipper, I will block you.

• I may not always be consistently active! I have my day-to-day life to go about, and I have other special interests and hyperfixations that may take up my attention. I am stating upfront that there may be stretches of inactivity from me.

• If you want to speak with me, message me here. If I join any Discord servers, it will be on an alternate account from my personal one, so I may not always be available immediately. I'm just a person that prefers to keep my personal life separate from the public internet due to past experiences.

• My typing may be inconsistent, I apologize! I am used to no punctuation or capitalization, but I'd like this blog to be accessible to people, so I'm not going to do that here.

I'm fully aware that I can't control what people do with characters or media I publicly post. I know that people will create whatever content they want. I am not here to police you or fight about it, because I have more to do than argue with people on the internet and I don't need that kind of stress.

It's just my personal wish that you don't engage with this media if you are proship, and that you don't create content that is incestuous, pedophilic, or anything of those sorts.

If you're going to do it anyway, I'm just asking that you don't expose people to it that don't want to see it. I don't want to see it either, so please keep it contained or whatever. Thanks!

If you've read this far, thank you! I very much appreciate it. A cookie for you. 🍪 :]

If you are looking for a link to my explanation of my experience with Kneeby, you can find it here:

https://www.tumblr.com/sparkleobserver/777696090172604416/hello-everyone-you-dont-have-to-talk-to-me-bc-i?source=share

[bl4ck-dr4gon]

self-loving-vampire

But if you take a global view of the issue it is clear it's not as simple as just "christianity encourages spanking". It does, but abusing children into "good behavior" is not unique to christians at all.

Oh absolutely, i was just coming at it from the perspective of someone who grew up in a "Western Nation" and a possible explanation of one of the many, many factors that could create the 'In order to be a good person you need to suffer because you were born wrong/morally impure/narcissistic' morality.

Another possibility is that they're just making up an excuse to hurt and demean someone that they just find annoying and not feel like a sack of shit for it.

self-loving-vampire

In fact, most of the countries that ban child corporal punishment are in Europe and South America

Whilst this is good to see, another factor i didn't bring up in my post was that those cultural-religious backgrounds might also push people away from the that kind of...

Disposition? Learned behavior?

Something like that.

Back on track, again there are millions of possible factors that can influence people into justifying or believing that inflicting abuse on people is in fact a good and moral thing to do. (which it isn't for the twats in the back)

self-loving-vampire

Christians don't even have a monopoly on religious authoritarianism, much less the concept that hurting children actually helps them.

One doesn't need to look to far into a history book to see that that's true.

It's just that I have no knowledge of either Muslim or Jesuit scripture so i cant comment on how their touchstones would impact a culture in the long term, especially with how they might try to justify abuse against their own children.

I, unfortunately, have more knowledge of christian mythology, so it's the one getting the finger pointed at.

A disturbing amount of people seem to unironically believe that abuse makes people better somehow. It's not just conservatives who think that either, even if they're the loudest about it.

[aihoshiino]

Was rewatching the first ep and I thought it was such a cute detail- there was a shot of Ai's old apartment and u could see she has those foam puzzle carpet tiles near the crib! They are also in Aqua and Ruby's colors + white! 🥺 And now I'm just thinking about Ai buying this and setting it all up for the twins. Sobbbb

ISN'T IT SO FUCKING CUTEEEE 😭 That first apartment of hers is honestly my favourite... it's the one that feels the most like her, if that makes sense? Idk, it just has a lot of warmth and personality to it and I can so easily imagine her puttering around it lol.

TBH, the anime did a lot of really interesting things with the designs of her homes... there's a lot of really cute characterization happening in the little details. Like, not only is all Aqua and Ruby's stuff colour coded for them but when they're small enough to cosleep with Ai, both of them have these adorable little flower (star?) pillows to snooze on...

(forgive the scrunkly cap, i had to adjust the lighting cos you can't see it too well otherwise).

Another little detail I really love is that if you keep an eye on the backgrounds of her various apartments, you can spot the star sand that Ryosuke gave her always somewhere pretty prominently in the front room - she was telling the truth when she said she treasured it. In fact, in that first apartment of hers, it's on a shelf beside two toothrottingly adorable photos of the twins which says a lot about how precious it was to her.

Consistency of objects and furniture through all her homes is another little detail I really like about the anime...! It can be harder to spot in motion, but Ai actually takes a lot of the appliances and furniture from her first apartment to her second one, like anybody would when moving.

A bunch of her kitchen appliances are the same and you can tell it's the same TV and speakers, too. And that kind of scrunkly plant from the first apartment also comes with her! She just moves it to her rehearsal space.

Interestingly, all these things are completely absent from the final apartment we see her in - that uber bougie penthouse. It's a big part of what contributes to making it feel so weirdly cold and impersonal even though the woods are all such dark, warm colours - it's because the space has absolutely nothing of Ai herself in it.

Also a great touch - we only ever see the apartment at night and the skyline is tinted super green, which makes it come off as kind of unnatural and unsettling. It really piles on that feeling of this not being a space that Ai is meant to occupy. It doesn't suit her - and maybe I'm reading a little too much into it, but the stiff-backed way she sits in the chair - at the very edge of it, no less! - contrasting the say Saitou is pretty comfortably flopped all over the sofa really gives the impression to me that she didn't feel comfortable there at all.

also; this was going to be a tag ramble but it got stuck in my brain so it's going in the main post but. Man. There really is a Vibe about the fact that she's sat on the chair at all come to think of it. Again, possibly overthinking it, but perching on a chair like that really feels to me like something a guest would do, not someone pulling up a seat in their own home to watch tv. Especially when there's all that room on the sofa - plenty of space for her to have sat by Saitou even with Ruby still in her lap and Aqua at her side.

[lsunstreakerl]

jumping off the back off this ask (https://www.tumblr.com/lsunstreakerl/778013058764341248/what-would-you-say-is-charles-and-maxs-biggest?source=share) I’m on mobile and it won’t let my format it has a clickable link oh my god I literally work in social media how am I this geriatric about my phone already - ANYWAY I am curious what GP’s biggest regrets for these AUs are ? (He cannot say Charles for all of them)

fine, fine. the answer is charles for most of them.

Search History:

not pushing for more testing after the silverstone crash, not noticing max's minuscule struggles on night races post-crash. basically all the little things that you only realize with hindsight.

Alternate Ending Search History:

he blames himself for the baku crash, for not somehow magically seeing it ahead of time, for not being able to keep max safe in the car, where max trusts him the most

O!Search History:

not cussing out the press more often, not taking a firmer stance on dynamic rights in racing.

Famiglia Familie:

charles. Took forever to warm up to him, still doesn't like him sometimes. but he makes max happy- GP just doesn't trust how flighty racing drivers are, he's worked with them his whole life.

O!Famiglia Familie:

still charles, but less so. alpha charles is very traditional and sweet and spends so damn long courting max that GP is begrudgingly fond of him. his main regret is moreso that they didn't have another omega in the home while max was getting older. the classic single parent thing, where there's guilt about not having that other partner. doubly so for GP, who doesn't know anything about growing up as an omega, and max, who also doesn't know anything about it.

Wing!Famiglia Familie:

... that's right, it's charles again. famiglia GP just isn't a fan, honestly. his main regret here is that he can't provide the ideal living space for a falcon like max- they can't live up high, because max can't fly. they can't go fast, because 1: GP can't reach that speed on his own or carrying someone, 2: max isn't capable of a recovery dive. more parental guilt about something neither of them can change.

Darkbull:

the kidnapping. (also resulted in lots of new little protocols within RB to make sure max is supervised at all times)

O!Darkbull:

not applicable

Standard omegaverse:

Regret that the team can't be the kind of pack max needs, no matter how hard they try. regret that he's encouraging and supporting unhealthy workplace dynamics and damaging team bonding but at the same time they have to.

Maxiel forced bite:

soooooo much regret. regret that they didn't fly the team out earlier, regret that there wasn't someone else with them, regret that max and daniel got put in a position that required an impossible choice. very much the whole team feeling like they let everyone down.

Moto Max:

not applicable

Scrapbook Max:

regret about not being able to be in max's life sooner, struggles with wanting to help take care of max vs how much max is willing to accept it

[differenteagletragedy]

Been thinking of swap au and i was wondering how Baxter would react to being confessed to at different steps?

SWAP AU MY BELOVED Step One: oh my heart, so cute, just 8-year-old Baxter and MC, the littlest loves. They would have just met here, and of course it would be a very inconsequential conversation of like "I want you to be my boyfriend" and "ok" and then nothing changes BUT BUT BUT this would be so cute because even at 8, I think Baxter would be a boy of his word. So picture he and MC starting to "date" at 8, and then they just never stop, and as they get older they start to be like "oh we really do have those romantic feelings huh." So I think there would still be some "you deserve better, MC" conversations in those rough teen years, but he wouldn't break up with them. And that way you get Step Four and Beyond Baxter being able to tell people that he's been with his partner since they were EIGHT YEARS OLD and isn't that precious?!?! Like he's not even 30, planning a wedding, and his clients see his wedding ring and ask how long he's been with his spouse and he's just casually like "20 years" and they're like "?!??!??!" (sorry I rambled)

Step Two: angst angst angst. You have to remember that Swap AU Baxter and MC are kind of a little dumb (and I say that with so much love and respect), so if MC were to confess their feelings for Baxter while he's 13 and going through stuff (general 13-year-old drama plus the actual issues of his awful parents, etc.), I don't think he'd receive it that well. Like he'd do a kind of "I appreciate the sentiment, MC, but I imagine you're just confusing our deep friendship and the state of our fluctuating hormones for something more than it is." And then MC would be mortified and kind of shut down about it, like "Yeah you're right, totally, my bad, anyway wanna hang out this weekend?" I just can't imagine a universe in which these goofs manage to get it together at this point.

Step Three: lol. In canon Step Three, I think this is suuuuch a pivotal age for Baxter, so it would be in Swap AU too. He's on the cusp of adulthood, trying to figure out how to be his own person without his parents' influence, and it's all very heavy. Here though, he'd have the unwavering support of MC and moms (and Liz, even though she wouldn't show it, and his good friend Cove, and even Cliff), so he's not floundering in quite the same way. If MC were to confess here, I think there would still be that kind of panic of "you don't know what you're talking about, you can't like me, I am a disaster," but at this point he'd be way too into MC in that way to turn them down. I'd imagine a pretty intense conversation with MC confessing, Baxter trying to shut it down, but if MC keeps pushing him to realize they're serious then they'd both just kind of look at each other then KISS, like a passionate, explosive, desperate thing, and oh, ok, they are in love, with Baxter being clingy and sad and MC being loving and assuring him that they can handle all his baggage, they always have and they always will.

Step Four is canon Swap AU confession :)

[trulyhappy2025]

I'm glad someone finally said something about this! I'm also a little sleeved out by CW having romantic feelings towards MR as a teenager. It was one of the things that kind of kept me from getting invested in the series at first. I appreciate the perspective that CW's crush isn't sexual. That's also how I choose to interpret it. I'm an asexual person myself, and the way that I understand it in my own head so I can keep reading is that CW had less of a crush and more of a deep admiration?

Like, personally, I've met a lot of friends who I respect deeply. To the point where my affection- which is always platonic- genuinely borders on a crush. It's the kind of feeling you get when I really, REALLY want to be friends with a person. To know more about them, and spend time with them, and have them know me in return. That's sort of how I interpreted CW's initial crush on Mo Ran. As a deep sort of respect, and a longing to know and be known in return, with the additional knowledge that due to their positions that's more or less impossible. They cannot be friends or anything more to each other because CW is deeply aware of the power dynamics present, and doesn't want to overstep. But in another lifetime, where they were the same age, or they did not have that massive difference in power, they could have been friends. Or more!

But that's just how I choose to interpret it. Anything else makes me feel real weird about erha in general.

Okay let’s talk about “erha” or “husky and his white cat shizun” especially ranwan and chu wanning.

Hello! It’s been a while, but I’m back! There will be spoilers. So read at your own discretion.

I read all of Erha about 2 years ago, and I’m currently re-reading, though I’m only in book two. I liked Erha the first time I read it, and I still like it now, but there’s something I’ve been wondering within the fandom. When I first got into the series, I looked for content to know what I was getting myself into. And I was really curious about the student-teacher relationship, because even though I had read SVSSS from the first volume, it’s established that Chu Wanning does have feelings for Mo Ran, and for 16-year-old Mo Ran or even younger. Unlike in SVSSS, where Luo Binghe is the only one who had obvious feelings for Shen Qingqiu until years later, when Luo Binghe is an adult and Shen Qingqiu develops his feelings along the way. But again, Chu Wanning liked Mo Ran since the beginning, which is very curious to me because this novel is very popular besides the 3 MXTX novels. I found this very controversial, but I read the book anyways, and overall, Ranwan’s relationship progresses throughout the novel, and it’s very cute with the right amount of everything. However, in the back of my mind, I kept wondering about Chu Wanning. I do love him, and I think his character has so much to offer, but why? Why does he like Mo Ran when he’s a kid?? (I know the answer, but I'm trying to make a point.) I think something like that is very weird; Meatbun could’ve pulled an SVSSS, and yes, while Ranwan does get together with adults, it doesn’t change the fact that Chu Wanning liked his teenage student as a 26-year-old man! And it really makes me wonder why the fandom doesn’t talk about this enough, how weird it is. Chu Wanning liking Mo Ran as a teenager; most people make jokes or don’t really take it for what it is. Chu Wanning never acts on his feelings or does anything, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he had romantic feelings. I feel like we need to talk about this behavior more; no matter how much I love Chu Wanning, this is very much creepy. This is not a post hating on meatbun or erha or chu wanning, again, I do like this book and the romance and how it’s set up. but, this will always bother me, but other people act like it’s not that big of a deal or pass over this fact. So, I want to know what you guys think about this.

And before anyone says anything like I’m a “puritan” or “if you can’t handle it, then don’t read it,” first, no, I don’t care about that type of stuff, especially when it comes to sex in media, but I do think we need to talk about how controversial this is. Second, it’s not that I can’t handle it, but we do need to have these discussions about media, specifically with things like this. And third, I will repeat it again. I’m not trying to be a hater; I just think this is important to bring up and get people's opinions, even if it is “I just don’t care about it.” I want to know how people feel about this.

[coraniaid]

It would have been very easy for the writers of The Gift to frame Giles's decision to kill Ben as something other than what it is.

Ben could have tried to attack Giles first, in order to escape, forcing Giles to defend himself (we know that Buffy herself has, by this point in the show, almost certainly taken several human lives in self-defence, whether that's one of the Order of Taraka assassins in What's My Line? or Gwendolyn Post in Revelations or some of the Knights of Byzantium earlier in the season). We, the audience, know that Ben has actually made the choice to side with Glory and betray Dawn -- the writers could have had Giles find this out somehow, rather than having him kill Ben while believing Ben to be entirely blameless for anything Glory did. If nothing else, they could have had Giles kill Ben in a less sordid and realistic way: choking him to death after establishing that he can barely move while Ben struggles feebly to stay alive.

But, notably, the writers didn't do this. At every stage they made the choice to frame Ben's death as unsympathetically as they could. They make it very clear that they don't think Ben's death is something to approve of at all. Just in The Gift itself:

Xander brings up the possibility of killing Ben to stop Glory ("I know he's an innocent, but not like Dawn innocent ... we could kill a regular guy") only to immediately rule it out with a look of disgust. Why say this if not to comment on what Giles will later do?

Willow explicitly notes that the ritual to use the Key is "a one time thing": if Glory doesn't manage to kill Dawn this time, she's got no reason to try again. Why say this if you want Giles's later decision to seem justified?

The scenes with Dawn and Glory suggest that the separation between Glory and Ben is weakening, meaning that Glory herself is becoming more human and more affected by human emotions like guilt and empathy. Why include these scenes if we're meant to see Glory as an active, long-term danger?

Tara prophetically accuses Giles of being "a killer", a word we've heard before on the show (see, for example, the way Faith reacted to being called a killer by Forrest in Who Are You?, or indeed Buffy's own fears that "the Slayer is just a killer" as expressed this episode). Why use this word, or include this moment at all, if we're meant to be cheering Giles on?

Giles himself gives Ben a speech in which he admits that Buffy would never kill Ben because it's not the heroic thing to do. Like ... this isn't exactly subtle.

We are not meant to approve of Giles murdering Ben; and we are meant to see it as murder. The writers go out of their way to tell us that it's morally wrong, that none of the other Scoobies would support it, and it doesn't even work to achieve Giles's stated goal of keeping Buffy safe: she dies anyway, mere minutes after the murder. By every measure, the show tells us, this is the wrong thing to do. Giles will never bring it up again, not even when he's trying to convince Buffy that she needs him to make hard decisions on her behalf.

So it's kind of infuriating that so much of the fandom insists on reading it as an act of heroism anyway.

It isn't. It isn't at all. If anybody other than one of the protagonists was making this decision -- if it was the Knights trying to kill Dawn to save the world, or the Initiative locking up Oz and treating him like an animal because a few nights a month he turned into a dangerous monster, or the parents of Sunnydale trying to burn teenage witches at the stake to keep their town safe -- there would be no ambiguity about this in the fandom at all. And yet, because it is one of the protagonists -- specifically, because it's the character the fandom has decided to read as Buffy's Dad who only does good things because he loves her -- somehow the normal rules don't apply.

It's not an act of heroism though. The show is right about that, and the fandom is wrong. It's one of the worst things Giles does; a complete betrayal of his promise to Buffy in Season 2 to always offer her his support and respect. It has far more in common with his willingness to drug her and lie to her face about doing so in Helpless or to abandon her in her moment of greatest need in Tabula Rasa than it does with any of Giles (many) moments of actual nobility and self-sacrifice. It's a sign that, fundamentally, Giles does not accept that Buffy has right to make decisions on her own.

Giles knows that, given the choice, Buffy would choose to spare Ben's life. He doesn't believe he could ever convince her to change her mind. And so he takes the choice away from her.

Why would anyone applaud that?

[afinestoutlove]

things i love about heartstopper 71/?

Femininity isn't devalued in Heartstopper, even when some of the feminine characters might engage with some less constructive forms of femininity. (This post got away from me, so I think this is going to be a series on femininity in HS now...)

Maybe I'm reading more into it than is there cos of my whole gender studies schtick, but when feminine characters/women are struggling with how they "do femininity", it's almost always clear that we're supposed to empathise with them. We're able to understand how they got there, even if the way they're "doing femininity" is kind of toxic. (Spoilers, they got there through patriarchy, same as the toxic guys.)

Imogen is the main example of this, and I think my favourite version of this kind of story in media. When we first see her, she's the typical "cool girl". She sees Tara as competition for a boy (joke's on all three of them in that scenario!), she's kind of manipulative (no, Imogen, you aren't "basically" going out with Nick Nelson), and she's clearly marking herself as "not like the other girls". She's working so hard to be what society tells women they should be: focused on men and men's attention, disdainful of other women and femininity (but don't be masculine!), all that. And she's succeeding. Which, of course, means she's also losing.

This is almost a blink and you'll miss it moment, but it's such great character development (and so well acted by Rhea Norwood). Imogen has performed normative femininity so well that she's alone and lonely.

Throughout the series (and I hope another season...) Imogen slowly starts to unpack a lot of what she thought she was supposed to be, and also how she relates to other people. She starts seeing boys/men as something other than a way to measure success, and girls/women as something other than competition. She starts to see herself as worth more than the narrow, restrictive gender role she thought she had to perform. But she never has to become "less feminine". She's still allowed to be girly and giggly - let's face it, she's a bimbo, and we love her for it.

And that's the great thing about her story. In other representations of this kind of learning curve, the girls/women often end up taking on more masculine roles, behaviours, and/or tastes. But Imogen doesn't have to do that to become more comfortable with herself and others. The story allows femininity to be valued and appreciated as more than something that men like, something that can be enjoyable and authentic on its own terms. We could do with more of that.

The way to bring down the patriarchy is to find what's valuable in masculinity, femininity, and everything around it, and give people the freedom to choose what parts of those things they want. I think HS, while obviously not perfect, has made a pretty good start.