#it kind of hurt her to watch it
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I managed to escape dislike of needles for years, but now my flight instincts are starting to kick in and it's. Not enjoyable.
Some people were freaking out about suspension, the sort where you stick very large needles or hooks into your body and then hang in the air. I learned about this years ago on the show Taboo, which was like Planet Earth but for practices considered culturally deviant.
So I'm like, I'm an open minded person, this is normal for them, I know some people don't even feel it, I'm gonna go watch some videos.
I feel sick.
The breaking point was the guy on a talent show who stuck a needle through his nose and the roof of his mouth. All the way through to the other side, like a fish.
I could not watch.
I don't consider myself squeamish and I don't really want to add to the moral panic. This is a mental hurdle that would be more enjoyable for me to get over.
I am not, however, sprinting towards that hurdle,
#'it's their business' is a very good rule of thumb#i didn't like it when mom said she didn't like watching me sparring#it kind of hurt her to watch it#so i kind of want to not feel this way#it's just#AHHHHHHHHH#bodily harm#body horror#personal
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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.
They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.
Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.
“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”
The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.
The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.
For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.
Shit.
They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…
They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.
It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.
The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.
The hero would be the death of them.
They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.
“What are you doing with this?”
The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.
“Wrapping my hands?”
The villain hissed in a breath.
“With electrical tape?”
The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.
“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”
The villain blinked at them.”
“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.
“Not if you wrap it right.”
Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.
“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.
Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.
“Bandaids move—“
The villain hushed them.
“Be quiet for a second.”
The hero, wisely, went quiet.
The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.
“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.
“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”
“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”
“I’m not destroying myself—“
“You are.”
“Shut up—“
“Hero.”
“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”
They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.
“Better than who?”
“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.
The villain watched them, waiting.
The hero took a shaky breath
“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”
The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.
The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.
“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.
“No. There isn’t.”
“Hero.”
“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.
“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.
“You don’t understand—“
The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.
They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.
“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”
“But I-“
“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”
The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.
The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.
For now, though, they had to take care of hero.
“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”
The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.
“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”
That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.
“Fine.”
The villain turned to them. “Okay?”
Are you going to be alright?
The hero seemed to understand.
“Okay,” the hero agreed.
Yes.
And so, it was.
#writing#writing community#snippet#angst#heroes and villains#ficlet#writblr#hero/villain#hero whumpee#exhaustion#overworked#villain caretaker#whump#kind of#in case you’re wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. it’s completely possible#essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable#it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond#so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you don’t stop#so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you can’t straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in#I’m not a doctor#I’m just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao#this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred#anyways. I’m not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. it’s honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids#do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#don’t get injured at all#thank you to my friend who went “pull-up’ competition and then watched me create this angst#love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. ❤️ self care
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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent
Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people
#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing#and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight#but listen#he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it#that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family#but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way#(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs#to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is#(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them#and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i#PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk#anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders#and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because#that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really#is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together#oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant#I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post#have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much#my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne
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the parallels between morrigan and the mage warden (especially one who snitched on jowan and so isn't automatically doomed if they stay in the circle) both being unceremoniously kicked out by their parental figures from the isolated nests they've been cooped up in all their lives and sent flailing out into the real world to test their wings. the love that you can read in between the lines there from irving, and even flemeth -- in both cases this is a cause of action taken partly to save their children (from the circle, from the blight, from the isolation and constriction they would be doomed to otherwise), and in both cases it also opens them up to a world of new dangers. (I wonder if irving knows how many grey warden recruits die right off the bat. from his general character I think he might take that chance even if he knew because otherwise the circle is all but inescapable, but from what he says to amell/surana at the time and how set duncan is to keep that particular detail on the down low I feel more on the side of him not being aware.)
irving at least is encouraging and explains the outlines of what he's thinking even in his hurry to get you out the door, flemeth takes the opportunity to get in a few more stabs of emotional abuse haha. but I think my amell looks at morrigan's shock and partial dismay to be sent away with them so abruptly (and despite everything, the sting of it being so easy to do on her mother's part, emotionally) and feels a sympathetic sinking in her stomach. because yeah she knows that feeling too
#there are some lines from morrigan that makes me think something kind of bad might have happened to her#the last time she left the wilds? she says that when she returned home to flemeth last time she never meant to leave the wilds again#:( morrigan baby if anyone fucked with you... tell me we'll hunt them down for sport and kill them#dragon age#dragon age origins#morrigan#warden amell#oc: sophia amell#first enchanter irving#flemeth#I'm a decade older now and playing this part again with more adult eyes... seeing morrigan try SO HARD to create one little moment#of connection; of care -- saying she doesn't want to come back to the hut burned down and framing it as a dig; a joke#and even being that careful even being that roundabout she gets shot down SO brutally by flemeth and it hurts to watch#I feel almost parental about it all more than anything this time around like. oh morrigan I'm so so sorry about everything#'I am many things but I will not be the mother you were to me' sobbing I'm so proud of her
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Roman is like it was only natural that it happened to me, and anyway, sometimes i wanted it. everyone hit me i'm fսcking annoying. Kendall is like im not a victim — it’s just the wrong kind of love expression, after all. so instead I’ll imagine it like the trials that shaped me, and it will all have been worth it when i win. sometimes your greatest tormentor can also be your most perceptive teacher. Shiv is like i can acknowledge that it happened, but not that it matters to me or continues to affect me, because that would mean admitting i’m not above my circumstances. i want to believe i can separate myself, power through, and take control of my life. you were just... an absence. But I'm fine. Mom, it's okay. / He couldn't fit a whole woman in his head. But he did okay. You did okay, Dad. Uh, we're all here and we're doing okay.
#oversimplified but i think this is the general way they conceptualize their abuse? shiv especially is so interesting to me.. the#way she tries to hold herself ABOVE the hurtful things/people in her life.. like#as if with sheer force of will and self determination she can ascend beyond it.. she does this with tom too. like when#she says she’s too good for him. and therefore she doesn’t care. and she’s not impacted by his attacks.#just like kendall she doesn’t want to feel weak but she goes about it in a different way — kind of freezing herself off?#shiv roy#kendall roy#roman roy#succession#ruby (unfortunately) watches succession
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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Still not over how Akito's pre-ORS assignment was focused on younger people in town VS An's being focused on Vivid Street veterans. Because *collapses* please understand
#jay rambles.txt#it's what they represent. it's also who they've been betrayed and let down by#the people who bullied (for lack of a better word) Akito were not town veterans - we actually see them being quite kind to him#despite him not understanding what he's getting himself into. and yes that includes Crawl Green owner getting him a second chance#it was overwhelmingly younger people who did not give much of a fuck about the reasoning behind RW#VS An who got along well with old-timers who have watched her be born and grow up and followed her all the way#only to be stabbed in the back with that horrible secret later#they're mending the bonds with both sides of the town despite the hurt. because they're the only ones capable of doing that.#man.
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When u go through major trauma that by rights should probably make you insane and then everybody’s just mad at you about it for how it affected them
#i hate it here these episodes are the Worst#very real but the Worst#magpie watches btvs#i get it! her running away wasn’t kind and it hurt them! but it wasn’t done to hurt them!! it was done cause saving them meant she had to#kill someone she loved while they called her name!!!!#also Mrs summers respectfully. shut up about ur self for five minutes#you literally told your seventeen year old daughter not to come back if she went to save people#what did you think was gonna happen?????#and then she comes back and you tell her she made poor decisions and has to live with the consequences GUESS WHO ELSE MADE POOR DECISIONS#AND SHOULD FOLLOW HER OWN ADVICE#gosh I feel like I wounded animal watching this
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There she is
There's my girl 🥹💖
#god she is so cute and lovely I adore Lucy so much!!!!#I can't wait to just watch her grow from a naive kind Vault Dweller to a kind yet brutal LW UwU#i guess she'd be considered A Lone Wanderer guess we'll find out#my baby my baby girl my sweet lady love!!!!!#i will hurt anyone who talks negatively about Lucy get your stanky ass out of here if you even say one bad thing about my girl#fallout show#Fallout Lucy tv show#Fallout Lucy#Fallout tv series Lucy#fallout tv series
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the angel siblings from hsr but after the Penacony and order incident the roles are reversed
like robin is now overprotective of her brother and manipulative, trying to hide him away in a cage to keep him safe. Also cuz she doesn’t want to be away from him and Sunday is getting low key threatened by her but brushes it off cuz she his adorable little sister! There could never be anything wrong with her
“Brother, you should stay at home for the time being. The public wouldn’t response well otherwise.”
“…you aren’t planning on leaving me alone again, are you? We can face it all together, so don’t leave.”
“You want to travel? No, you can’t, you don’t have experience outside of penacony. I’ll come with you, I’ll make time.”
“Give up on order, your dream is over, brother. Join my dream instead.”
I know Robin isn’t like that, but it’d be kinda interesting. Robin, who’s ready to crush Sunday’s dreams and betray penacony in order to have him by her side again, to support her and to be her pillar since she misses that feeling.
#nini!rant#Idk what you guys think of this#cuz clearly robin is meant to be kind and caring#but still#after all those events and how Sunday fell from grace#Losing his reputation or position - basically everything#don’t you honk he’d be more docile? Listening to his sister cuz she’s the only ray of sunlight left for him?#And robin overthinking#wanting to surveillance her brother so that he doesn’t get funny ideas#watching him self destruct or others insult/ criticize him or throw him away must have hurt after all#she’s only trying to help him~#robin hsr#robin honkai star rail#sunday hsr#sunday headcanons#robin headcanons#sunday honkai star rail#hsr
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Remember in Teen Titans (the good one) when Raven sort of died and then came back and bb was rlly freaked out cuz she was acting different? Remember when she responded to that with “don’t worry, blue is still my favorite color, and you’re still not funny.” And remember in that one episode where bb and cyborg went into Raven’s mind scape meditation thingy and Raven revealed that pink was her favorite color and that she thought bb was funny?
I think that she said the wrong things one purpose then, because she knew that bb would understand that she was sort of saving face since that information was sort of something only they shared (with the exception of cyborg but he’s the third wheel bestie so yknow)
#teen titans#teen titans 2003#one of the best shows#I wish starfire got a season abt her tho#Terra showed up outta nowhere#but it was good for the team’s character development#and it also sort of gave bb two seasons abt him#which like#bb’s my blorbo so that’s a win#anyway#bbrae#one of my favorite straight ship#tho I do headcannon bb to be kind of fruity sometimes#maybe he’s bi or pan idk#or maybe he does it just for funsies#honestly k couldn’t watch the last season of young justice cuz I couldn’t stand bb literally being depressed#it physically hurt me to watch that#headcannons#yippee
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Shino raising his dead friends and friend's dog from the dead with the power of bugs as one friend's cousin watches [not clickbait]
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#bugs ment/#this mini arc is fucking wild actually what the fuck is going on#i am VERY definitely past everything ive seen before. both anime and manga.#which means this is all new. and i dont know whats going on hdskhfks#ino holding hands with shikamaru and choji (and making them hold hands) was really cute tho🥺🥺🥺#for circulating their chakra to keep them alive etc etc anyways those are her BOYS!!!!!! shes working so hard to keep them alive!!!!!!!!!#and then shino using his bugs to circulate the chakra of. two guys and a dog.#i love the focus being placed on him rn bc hes so rarely focused on. but also. it *is* kind of funny#i think it's akamaru. the dog. plus the bugs. hes literally just putting bugs on them so they'll move the chakra around#and doing it in the most Raising The Dead pose possible hflshfks god it's so funny#anyways genuinely why is kabuto going to such lengths to kill these four (plus a dog)#like hes got this whole plot hes committed 4 of his pawns to this. just sucking their souls outta their body bc Huh??#like ok shikamaru is a master tactician. i get him. and neji is a powerful jonin.#and choji is very strong Especially in conjunction with ino and shikamaru#that good old ino-shika-cho combo. you know.#then theres kiba and like kiba's strong but like. not all that special in the army??? like sorry kiba not to be mean#but like hes just a chunin. no special combos or insane intellect to set him apart.#he's a front liner. a good one! but ykno. not all that special in the army. sorry kiba.#the true answer for why these 4 (5 with the dog lol) were brought togegher for this#was for reminiscing about their failed sasuke retrieval arc. by the narrative.#but Also they have those same sound ninja 4 theyre up against. maybe those guys wanted to nab them bc of the grudge#and kabuto was just like 'sure yeah it wouldnt hurt to kill the nara and the hyuga'#actually im just now remembering his ninja info cards. freakish data collection on fucking everyone#and now here he is having grave robbed all over the goddamn place and prepped all the bodies with their weapons and what have you#taking the time to send these reanimated bodies towards their prior loved ones to take advantage of the personal turmoil#bro it's a fucking battlefield what??? how are you sending everyone to such specific people like that.#and then anko's just passed out behind him. she hasnt even been to the village since the pain attack. she is getting shelved SO bad#anyways kabuto's a little freak and i continue to hate him. grave robbing shithead.
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it's been a strange arc so far
when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'
when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'
the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'
#red said#this is about one specific relationship btw.#wanted to clarify that because there have been several men over 30 who fucked me up between the ages of 16 and 21#and i adamently do NOT want to keep pretending that was incompetence. that was predation. sometimes incompetent predation.#but with the person I'm thinking of? she really hurt me and the age gap and difference in life stage was a not insubstantial factor#but mostly she was just spiralling out really badly and i offered her something to hold and she did try to keep things balanced and safe#but she was very off balance at the time. so the fucking up was more that than it was about power or control#we were just both very stupid and very sensible at the same time which is a great way to dig yourselves deeper#and idk I'm like 2 or 3? years younger than she was when we met iirc#and the closer i get to her age the more I'm like yeah you know that's a human reaction. i can see how that happens.#and i kind of feel bad for the amount of bitterness I've held and malice I've ascribed because ultimately#i think it was just two people having different crises trying and failing to figure out boundaries around them#but this has come on really suddenly and it's kind of fucking me up as well#cause I'm frightened of falling back into patterns of oh it's never anyone else's fault that i got hurt#but i don't. thiiiiink so? bc it's really only this one thing. i am not making these excuses for other people.#idk. sometimes people just fuck each other up.#I'm not even sure i think it was a bad thing that it happened. a lot of bad happened but we also catalyzed a lot of change in each other.#i feel like the reason i keep picking at this is that it's complicated. it was not good. it was good.#she really fucked me up and she was a terrible friend to me at times. but she was also the first person to really look after me.#and she kind of helped me start to learn how to need other people. which was good.#when my grandma died she wrapped me in a blanket and cancelled her plans to watch TV on the couch with me#even though she barely knew me at that point#and she was one of the first people to consistently ask for consent and check in. and she did genuinely care about me.#but she also truly fucked me over a couple of times.#but mostly that was just because she was buried in a pit of despair and self loathing.#she seems a lot happier now. i hope she is. i don't know if i want to know her particularly but i think if she's happy she'd be nice to know
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Belle Dama means Beautiful Lady uwu 💚
#She reminds me of a weevil so I decided to try to encorporate that a bit into our AU design for her#Belle is the sweetest person in the office and she cares for everyone#she's got lotsa eyes to watch you with#and her favorite shows teehee#She tends to be a bit too caring but she refuses to let go of her optimism#why stop being kind to others when they need kindness and care just as much as you when you're hurting?#Belle has that transwoman swag#she has three kids and they all have kids so she's got a nicely sized family#Cassie is her favorite totally only grandchild though; it seems her family is a bit dysfunctional by the things she talks about it in our AU#belle dama#mouthpiece#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#toontown: corporate clash#ttcc au#imagionary rambles
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i could make you care
#fallout new vegas#fnv#courier six#courier oc#veronica santangelo#artists on tumblr#guess who left the brotherhood 😢#i still need to finish the latter half of her quest but i had to bang this out bc god it hits. and hurts#oh to watch your family's collective cognitive dissonance eat them alive#and for sirius it sucked bc 1. he cares about veronica a lot and wants her to be happy#and 2. he grew up without a family so he wanted to do everything in his power to help her keep hers#the brotherhood in general kind of tears him up inside because he is a hard-coded Fixer and the brotherhood refuses to let itself be fixed#ugh its so good. it drives me insane#my art#also bc its not super clear this takes place on the fictional balcony that surrounds the cocktail lounge of the 38 in my nv universe#because it makes SENSE. and also GOOD VIEWS (of the desolate wasteland beyond)
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i'm so fucking stressed out
#dude my dog had acl repair surgery in march#she's healed fine with that but developed stomach issues#so she's been back and forth to the vet with that#and now when i was at work she just randomly started walking weird as fuck. she kicks her leg that was operated on backwards as she walks#and sometimes looses balance in both legs#and then when i pick her up she acts like it hurts her spine or something#i'm gonna wake up in 4 hours to call the vet and see if they can see us today and pray that this isn't something that she'll need surgery#for again#i also am supposed to work tomorrow and then friday we have a rehearsal dinner and then saturday the wedding which is two hours away.#vets closed on sunday so if she can't get seen tomorrow it'll be a whole new fiasco trying to get her helped somewhere else#this dog is my lifeline like it#ruins me#seeing her like this#genuinely if i didn't have her i wouldnt be here#it's so hard to watch her not even be able to walk#but it's so fuckinf weird bc my mom said she was just laying in her bedroom and she came back out doing it? there's nothing she could've#gotten into it just makes no fuckinf sense#like it's possible either her kneecap or her acl implant thing popped out of place but#she stiffens her entire body when i pick her up#and she acts like she's losing balance#it's so fucking weird#i'm also terrified that i'm about to get told she has some kind of onset of neurological problems and she'll have to get put down#or something along those lines#it's just too much rn#pls keep my doggy in ur thoughts#we just spent 3k on her surgery in march if she has to get operated on again first of all the recovery process all over again sounds like#a nightmare#but just the cost alone#i'm gonna FUCKING KILL MYSELF
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