#it kills me I think about it daily

[fictiongods]

It’s the Jolene to Lacy pipeline you guys. ITS THE JOLENE TO LACY PIPELINE.

[dailyeohkakyoin]

the crusaders do have a healer.

they don't like to talk about it.

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

[crismakesstuff]

“Just remember Mark is a seventeen year old boy, they break more easily than you think. And I don’t want a broken family.”

redraw of this one photo from the ultimate editions

[buqbite]

Halo

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[chevvy-yates]

[NC_RES]-31102049-EURGER scharfenberg_g_portraits_047_RC_SD.file ///core:_ryder_von_scharfenberg.file\\\

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⚠️ READ: Please do not repost/reupload any of my art here or to any other platform, or I will be forced to do anything to get it annihilated.

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cowboy shirt by @gloryride and @breezypunk 🖤

[claypigeonpottery]

I only have like 5 more packages to pack, I should get them done tonight. @subpar-lemon-bar and I are taking more breaks this time around, instead of trying to power through. it’s probably wiser of us lol

[daily-lea-crosscode]

was genuinely in a haze drawing this

[harvestmoth]

more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw

[acaciapines]

rereading random bits of descendants of olympus (as one does) and. vera <3 still soooo obsessed with how she takes lupa's divinity. like MAN.......there is something to how shes had to scrape and claw her way into every single good thing shes ever had. that she's never just been able to KEEP these things, that she is always always always fighting for them. and so of course she takes divinity. she wants to LIVE. and in this world where the fates themselves are trying to control her, its like--yeah. maybe you do need a gods power to finally get like, at least a year of the life you want. the life you werent supposed to have. forever thinking about vera's one line in her chapter thats like 'of course the fates are losing power. because they'd never let someone like leo into my life.' YELLS. FOREVER.

also have we talked enough about minnie I THINK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MINNIE--

[heyclickadee]

One part of “Aftermath” I don’t think I’ll ever get over is that Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, Tech, and Omega were on their way to get Crosshair when Crosshair walked into that hangar. The way we talk about it in the fandom is as though they left Crosshair behind in that first episode so they could rescue Omega, as though they traded him for her, but that’s. Not. What. Happened.

They go back to Kamino to grab Omega despite the risk, because they think she belongs with them, yes, but also because they’re still confident. They haven’t failed a mission yet. And —and this is important—because she said she wanted to go with them, and they take that into account.

And, of course, they immediately get captured, taken to the brig, they find Omega, Crosshair fires off about following orders—his new favorite hobby that he only picked up in the last week(1)—the guards come to take Crosshair away, and Hunter puts himself between Crosshair and the guards and says No. Absolutely not. We stay together, we’re a set, do not separate, and then—

—Crosshair gets up and leaves. And the rest of the batch probably doesn’t fully understand why.

Now, I personally think that Crosshair’s decision to leave was multifaceted. I do think the chip programming had something to do with it. It’s telling him that Hunter’s made bad call after bad call since Kaller, and that the smart thing to do would be to just comply with whatever the empire wants. He’s also deeply frustrated with the rest of his squad, though he probably doesn’t know why he suddenly disagrees with them so much. And I also think that Crosshair didn’t want anyone else in his family to get hurt. He’s got his hackles raised and he’s ready to pounce when that one guard hits Hunter in the gut; he knows that they’re going to take him one way or another, so best to do it in a way that doesn’t end with the rest of his squad getting shot. All of that is in play in Crosshair’s decision to get up and go with the guards willingly, but all the rest of the batch knows is that he does it.

It’s even possible that their initial read on Crosshair’s decision is mostly in line with the last thing I listed—that Crosshair does it to keep the rest of them from getting hurt. It’s also possible that their read on it was that Crosshair was upset. But it probably doesn’t matter. The first thing—the first thing out of Hunter’s mouth when they break out of the brig is, “We need to find out where they took Crosshair.” The only reason they go to the hangar at all is to grab their gear so they have a better chance of getting him without dying on the way. They suit up, Hunter tells Tech to get the ship ready for a speedy getaway, and no sooner does he add that the rest of them are going to get Crosshair that Crosshair walks in. When Crosshair walks in—what he sees of them, and what they see of him informs every single interaction they have through the rest of the series.

First, what they see of him. Crosshair’s chip is activated. He’s just been electroshocked into submission and had that chip’s programming ramped up to twenty. He’s not in control of his thoughts or actions, but the only two people who have any inkling that that’s the case are Tech, who’s powering up the ship and not in the room, and Omega, who is a Child and about to be shot at for the first time in her life. The rest of them have no idea. All they know is that Crosshair is standing there wearing a new set of armor, leading a new squad, with a new rank, telling them to stand down and looking oh so pleased with himself as he clarifies that that is, in fact, an order. At the time, while Crosshair is monologuing about how they need to come quietly and how Hunter can’t see the bigger picture, it must look to them like the reason Crosshair left in that earlier scene was because he wanted to leave the squad. We, the audience, know that’s not true, but the rest of the batch doesn’t, especially given what they’re seeing at the time.

And then Crosshair starts shooting. It looks to them like he’s trying to kill them, and its not just empty. As much as Crosshair surely doesn’t want to, as much as Crosshair probably hates himself for this later on when he’s more in control, he shoots Wrecker. And unlike earlier in the episode, when Wrecker got shot during the battle simulation, Wrecker isn’t able to eventually get back up and keep fighting. Wrecker’s down. It’s all Hunter and Echo can do to just drag him onto the ship, and the only reason they even manage that is because Omega manages to shoot Crosshair’s rifle out of his hand; they don’t have the manpower to subdue Crosshair and drag him on board as well, not without potentially getting themselves or Crosshair (or Wrecker) killed. They don’t leave Crosshair behind for Omega’s sake or because they got in one argument and wrote him off here. They leave him because, in that moment, it looks for all the world like Crosshair does not want to go with them, like he suddenly wants them dead or captured, and they’re just trying to get out of there alive.

And what he sees of them…gah. There’s a split second, blink-and-you-miss-it moment when Crosshair first walks in, sees them, and he looks terrified. He knows what he’s about to do, and he hates it, and he probably doesn’t know WHY he hates it, because his programming has to be screaming at him that what he’s about to do is right. Good soldiers follow orders. But the part of Crosshair that’s still himself, the part that’s still aware, still able to differentiate his own mind from the chip’s programming here in the early days after order 66, that part is yelling back that he doesn’t want to hurt them, but he can’t stop it. He doesn’t have that capacity. And that has to rip him apart here. The things he must have had to tell himself later just to cope.

But also—what he sees when he walks in? He sees the Marauder powering up. He sees everyone suiting up and grabbing their gear. He has to think—the thought has to cross his mind—that they’re leaving without him. And they’re not, they were literally on their way to rescue him, that was the next move, that was the plan, the only reason they don’t go through with it is because he walks in, starts shooting, and Wrecker almost dies, but Crosshair doesn’t know that. He wasn’t there to hear Hunter say that was the plan, no more than the rest of the batch was there so see what Nala Se and Tarkin did to him.

The worst part? None of them know about the parts they missed yet(2). Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, Tech, and Omega still don’t know what happened to Crosshair after the guards took him away. Crosshair still doesn’t know the others were coming for him. And I’m really curious about what’s going to happen if, and maybe when, they all get that context.

1. “Aftermath” takes place over at least several days, meaning Crosshair’s chip has been partially active and working its way into his thought processes the entire time.

2. I also think that part of the reason why things between Hunter and Crosshair are so broken is not because either (or neither) of them is willing to see things from the other’s point of view, but because both of them understands the other’s point of view a little too well, but in a way that lacks necessary context. Hunter probably understands that Crosshair has every reason to hate him, every reason to feel bitter and betrayed, and, honestly, Hunter probably agrees with Crosshair in that regard, and hates himself because of it. But Hunter also doesn’t know that Crosshair was never trying to kill them of his own free will and that he was therefore never bitter enough to actually want to hurt them. And Crosshair probably completely understands that Hunter has every reason to distrust him and to have completely given up hope that he might come home, and he probably hates himself for everything the chip made him do. But Crosshair doesn’t know that his family was, in fact, coming back for him and that Hunter is furious with himself for having left Crosshair behind. If they both ever had those gaps filled in they’d maybe both realize that, for all their hurt and misunderstanding, neither of them has ever hated the other. I desperately need them to sit down and talk. And then hug. And to break down weeping. Give me that catharsis I am BEGGING THIS DAMN SHOW.

[fromtheseventhhell]

Seeing people clutch pearls over Arya having killed people is so funny cause the list is literally rapist, murderer, torturer, criminal, some combination of the bunch...and all people who Arya has personally witnessed, or directly heard about, committing these acts. Like, contrary to popular belief, she is not just a mindless killing machine.

[muscariii]

Hiii :3

I'm currently still working on my portfolio. Good news is that I think I finished it actually. Really nervous about the whole thing because I feel like I haven't done enough but whatever. There's no turning back now.

Here's a cute little set of icons/stickers I made of my ocs!! I think it turned out very nice :3

I'll also make another post with some other art in a sec.

I'm only posting stuff from my portfolio since I didn't have time to make anything else but-!!! I've finished all this stuff already so soon I'll finally post Morrowind again. Hooray!!

[slasherscream]

really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

[codacheetah]

I remembered that drawing is fun and awesome and I'm deeply tempted to crawl out of bed and go draw something else but it's 4am