#bc i was used to drawing constantly constantly constantly in class. and then i stopped having class
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I remembered that drawing is fun and awesome and I'm deeply tempted to crawl out of bed and go draw something else but it's 4am
#kittyfrin took 1 million years but i had fun the whole time#charm design i'm going to tweak when i wake up took like 20 minutes. had fun tje whole time#drawing is fun??????? <-voice of guy who drew way too much#ok well drawing once a day is not like. too much. but it becomes too much when you have the sword of damocles hanging over you#(sword of damocles being. neurosis)#idk....it's just like. i think my art really got hit hard in a bad way by covid???#bc i was used to drawing constantly constantly constantly in class. and then i stopped having class#i was avoidant of doing my work in different worse ways. that did not involve drawing#so i stopped doodling i stopped drawing anything not meant to be a Full Piece#so my art folders from 2020-2023 are all combined like. i think less than half of this year alone#not helped of course by the power of Obsession but you know. i think this just leads into my point#being that isat has really made me Enjoy art again. im glad i didnt kill that enjoyment#i feel guilty all the time about not updating my dailyloop cuz i know ppl like it amd i have like 90 unanswered asks#but i am enjoying the lack of a daily grind so hard chat
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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40 Wallace Wells Headcanons!!!
He loves the band gorillaz! His current favorite songs are Dare, Dirty Harry, Rock The House and 5/4
He used to animate and draw in college but he hasn't really picked it up since then
He and Scott don't have much closet space, so they put some of their clothes in a kitchen cabinet. Scott is very scared Ramona will open it one day
When he eats burger He takes the pickles off and saves them for last. He does the same thing with shrimp pasta and also likes it most when there are 5 shrimp left over to eat. Scott thinks this is weird.
He's quite a powerful psychic, but since he's a beginner he has no idea how to utilize his powers. In the future, Old Wallace becomes one of the most powerful psychics in Toronto
Old Wallace's hair turned grey after what him and Mobile simply refer to as a "Psychic Mishap". This same mishap lead to him also needing very strong prescription glasses
He has 5 favorite colors, Green, Pink, Black, Teal and Red. If you ask which is his favorite, he'll usually cycle through 3 of those options before telling you he doesn't have a favorite
He scratches his knuckles when he gets nervous
He keeps his hands behind his back while doing this so people are less likely to notice
Sometimes he taps his fingers instead
Starting book 2, He's been taking French classes. He likes to say dumb things in French around the house that don't apply to whatever they're talking about, Scott is none the wiser
He likes turtles!
Although Wallace sometimes kicks Scott in his sleep, he can actually be fairly affectionate sometimes if he's feeling happy or lonely. Sometimes he hugs Scott in his sleep
Strangely enough, he doesn't do this to mobile until a few years into their relationship
Wallace used to have braces and acne in high-school. It is one of the very few things he's insecure about
He constantly forgets Young Neil's name and swears its either Francis or Dennis
Him and Other Scott have known eachother since they were kids but only became friends in high-school, when Wallace would stay over at his house from time to time
According to Scott and Other Scott, seeing Wallace win a drinking game is one of the most horrifying things they've ever seen
His record is 19 beers in 5 seconds
Oftentimes He wears a variety of Bracelets on his arm. His sweater usually obscures this, but they can be heard clanking together when he runs. When asked why he does this, he says he's "Matching with a friend"
His birthday is July 4th
He ran away from home during high-school, leading to him crashing at his friend's houses until he finally got an apartment
He frequently stayed with Scott, Other Scott and Roxy (until they stopped being friends towards the end of high-school)
Like the anime said, he let Scott crash at his place and he never left. At first, he figured since Scott let him stay over a week once, it only seemed fair to do the same. Soon a week turned into a month,but he couldn't bring himself to simply tell him to leave
He's somewhat of a pushover, but is too prideful to admit it (or embarrassed... who knows!)
He has tons of pride merch that he saves specifically for the month of May. Not June, because he "likes to stand out" (It's actually because when he started doing this, he got the month wrong)
He won a Ball point pen from a high-school drinking game. He calls it his most "prized possession" and he keeps it in a jewelry box alongside his bracelets
Scott is listed as "The first guy you should call if I ever get drunk and pass out bc he knows good and well he owes me a favor" on a list his frequent bartender asked him to make (Her name is Leni btw)
He and Gideon (the cat) would actually get along pretty well if they ever met
He and Gideon (the man) would not get along very well. But Wallace would find him extremely attractive in secret
He finds most of Ramona's exes attractive with the exceptions being Roxy and Kyle katayanagi
He passed his driving test while completely drunk. He woke up the next day and had no clue how to drive and couldn't even remember doing it until he found the license in the kitchen sink
He's had tons of flings, but never had an actual boyfriend until he met Mobile
He is so gay, that he litterally pukes rainbows
He thinks Stephen is hot. His only reason for not pursuing him is the fact that Scott made him promise to never make out with his friends
His favorite food is shrimp Alfredo
The reason Wallace makes bacon so often is because he bought it in bulk once as a dare from one of his friends. No clue what kind of bacon it was, but it expired a year from that day and the bottom shelf of his fridge was packed full of it for months
He always loses at rock paper scissors
He knows how to play piano
He has Hayfever
And... that's it! Except not really, I actually have way more!
But thats all I'm posting for now...
Thanks for reading!
#fanart#art#drawing#scott pilgrim wallace#wallace wells fanart#wallace scott pilgrim#wallace wells#wallace wells scott pilgrim#wallace wells art#wallace wells headcanons#mobile scott pilgrim#wallace x mobile#mobile x wallace#mobillace#scollace#other scott#roxy scott pilgrim#roxy richter#roxie scott pilgrim#roxie richter#young neil#stephen stills scott pilgrim#gideon graves#old wallace wells#scott pilgrim headcanons#scott pilgrim art#scott pilgrim
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Bro hear me out this is a bit far fetched but hear me out, Steve had two siblings, twins, one boy and one girl. But when his mom split from his dad she took the twins and left Steve there cause she couldnât care less about him since he was an accident. His siblings were 7 and he was 6 :PP
Anyways can I hear some of your Steve hcs???
This is canon now. congratulations
and yesss ofc!!
- To start off Steve LOVES to draw. Whenever heâs bored in class or when it gets slow at the DX, heâs always scribbling smth on some spare paper with blue pen. His fav things to draw are cars and motorcycles (and sometimes sodapop đ) and he LOVES using ads in magazines as reference pictures (heâs just like me fr).
- His favorite kinda cars are chevys (specifically corvettes and T-birds. He acts VERY normal when one stops the DX)
- He also really, really wants a motorcycle. Really bad
- The only reason why he got the stupid eagle tattoo was bc it was âbadassâ
- STEVE IS VERY LOUDâźď¸ đŁď¸đŁď¸ he is constantly shouting and being obnoxious for no reason other than to annoy the shit out of everyone around him
- Speaking of that he is literally a menace. This guy is maybe .0001% LESS bad than Dally, but heâs constantly causing issues/having beef w/ everyone at school. Bro has been suspended more times than he can remember
- Steveâs also pretty indestructible for some reason??? Heâs the kinda guy to fall from a great height and just⌠walk it off.
- To piggyback off of that Steve does the dumbest stuff imaginable (like one time he tried to backflip off the Curtis houseâs roof, he did NOT land it. But he was alright after a few moments of laying flat on his back and screaming) itâs really a miracle he hasnât been seriously injured or killed.
this is all i got for now âźď¸
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remembered your "The 141's (and co.) reactions to The Wobble" post and now i'm curious about how they would react to this:
www. tumblr. com/in-mutual-weirdness/727545670822690816
link, ohhh my god I love that video, itâs one of my favorite improv dance videos
genuinely and realistically, I donât think any of the 141 would touch anything like that with a twenty-foot pole because toxic masculinity and its associated rigidity is so embedded in military culture
BUT, because we like to have fun here, it reminds me of an au I wanted to write a while ago but never got around to (what else is new lmao) where Ghost was raised in a very strict dancing discipline (think ballet or traditional ballroom dance) where he had to always be in control and within rigid guidelines, but he got hurt in his mid-20s and had to give it up. He has a lot of trauma regarding dance, especially bc his father and dance instructor were horrifically abusive, teaching him to place all of his self-worth on his body and dancing ability, so having to stop is full of mixed emotions.
Then Price, the owner of a dance studio and one of the only people in the dance community that Ghost still trusts, reaches out about an improv dance class heâs holding. The purpose, he tells Ghost, is to spontaneously create movement, to free the body from habitual patterns. Ghost is⌠skeptical, to say the least. He attends, because Price asked him to, but heâs awful at it. Heâs stiff and unyielding, body not used to the freedom that improv dance requires, and heâs constantly stepping on toes or running into his dance partners because they do something unexpected, something outside of the rule set that Ghost had grown up with.
Price convinces him to keep coming backâitâs something that needs practice and perseverance, he argues, but Ghost doesnât really get better.
And then Soap joins the class.
Heâs wild and reckless, full of endless, manic energy, and heâs a riot to dance with. Everyone loves to partner with him because he reacts so effortlessly, his movements fluid and dynamic. Heâs a great leader, but he also knows when to be a support for his dance partner. Ghost watches him from the sidelines and hopes that he never gets picked to dance with him.
He does, of course, because the pairings are random and it was bound to happen eventually, and as soon as they meet on the studio floor, Ghost knows itâs going to be a disaster. Their styles are just too different; heâs too rigid, Soap is too fluid; heâs too slow, Soap is too fast; heâs too damaged, Soap is too innocent. It will never work.
But it does, somehow. Ghost sticks to what he knows, the strict regimented dance steps that heâd been taught, that had been drilled into his mind, and Soap⌠dances around him. Heâs always exactly where Ghost needs him to be, adding in a flair between steps, keeping the improv fresh and spontaneous while also consistently returning to Ghostâs side, to his pace, making sure they stay in step the whole time. Itâs breath-taking and awe-inspiring and the most terrifying thing that Ghost has ever seen. Heâs addicted to it immediately.
Over the course of months, Soap manages to draw Ghost out of his shell, to drag Simon to the surface, and with it comes small measures of freedom. Simon starts deviating slightly, almost self-consciously, tiny little additions that wouldâve ended in verbal or physical reprimands in the pst but now only earn blinding grins from Soap. They learn each otherâs language without ever speaking, though they start talking a lot too. Soap hangs off of Simon like a burr, constantly chatting on the sidelines as they watch the other dancers, mindless, inane babble that Simon never really pays attention to; he loves the sound of Soapâs voice, and Soap doesnât mind Simonâs lack of response.
They grow closer and closer, until their dances are so thick with tension that Price genuinely starts to hesitate pairing them together for dances. But he always relents because he knows what Simon has been through, had seen it happen and had been powerless to stop it, and seeing him open up like this is a gift worth all the brain bleaching in the world.
He changes his mind when he catches them in the studioâs supply closet, clothes hanging haphazardly, Simonâs broad back hiding Soap mostly from view but doing nothing to cover his own bare arse, and Price bans them from stepping foot in the studio for a week. They take it like the blessing in disguise it really is and scamper off like embarrassed teenagers, and secretly, after theyâve disappeared, Price can only smile fondly
#thanks for the ask!#sorry for the long post lmao Iâve been thinking about this for a while but never actually wrote it down#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#john price#tombstone's epitaphs#tombstone's skeleton fics
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it's borderline criminal (/j) that, even with how popular manifestation theory is and will's powers being suspected for years to be creation-related, no one (that i could find) seems to have written a Pygmalion au for byler yet.
to (hopefully) avoid some of the unfortunate implications (re: ruby sparks my beloved) of a writer making his character come to life i mean, in order to make will the guy he is now, he had to go through so much pain and trauma, or else he wouldn't be will, not even pre-canon will in said (non-UD) au, i think i'd rather go for the 'will created the initial concept for mike but as a dnd character' route.
will, lucas and dustin (he moved in kindergarden) still became friends and got into dnd, but they're not as close as the og party; will keeps his terrible home life from them to avoid more shame or their parents not letting them hang out anymore.
one day, while brainstorming to create his own dnd character, will doodled a figure in armor: someone who could be loyal, kind and adventurous, that could actually lead a party and make their campaigns cooler than any of them could imagine. Someone they could rely on. Someone who'd inspire them. Someone who would protect them. Someone that would care enough to, against any kind of danger.
that evening, after too many striked scribbles and ripped sketchbook pages, will drew his first sketch of His Paladin -no name felt right.
he never told anyone about him, not even his mom or jonathan, who'd otherwise get to see all his drawings. he never considered playing as the character either, even though he made several character alignment charts for him (if you ever had an oc, you know how it goes) and had way more sketches of him than of will the wise. that just wouldn't feel right: his paladin wasn't him or someone he wanted to (or could ever) become. his paladin was someone separate from will, with his helmet never off, tall and always vigilant, the brightest smile even in the face of failure.
again, if you ever had an oc and you used fiction as escapism, you might imagine how close will feel to his creation, especially bc only will ever knew of his existence. his paladin was there, by his side, on bad days, on loud nights; whenever will feel down, he'd picture him joining the last campaign the party borrowed from a random booklet, cracking incredibly lame jokes and reminding everyone of what they were fighting for. it was a comforting thought to turn to. a friend far away who never failed to make him smile.
no one, not even his dad, could take him away from him. if will sometimes stared too long, with a dopey smile, at his latest drawing, it was only his business. those new budding feelings, despite everything, felt safe. his paladin wasn't real, so he was not doing anything shameful nor bad by feeling so attached to him.
cue fourth grade, his dad leaving for good, castle byers, and a new boy joining his class. a chatty, very creative boy who played dnd as well. a boy who acted too familiar and looked like someone will rarely dared to visualize without a helmet on for the sake of his own sanity.
(this version of mike would be a regular human with free will in case you were wondering.)
this concept would be more about will freaking out at the idea that he created mike, realizing that's impossible [?* and trying to reconciliate what he knows about his idealized Paladin with the real mike -a boy with as many flaws as wonderful qualities.
will constantly having to remind himself they're not the same only for mike to proudly show the party his dnd character sheet along with his notes for the big epic campaign he always wanted to write -cue will excusing himself to hide both his blush and panic.
just will constantly struggling to differentiate between 'projection' and reality. trying to get rid of his feelings towards his character so he could treat the real mike fairly, get to know him, stop himself from staring too long whenever mike showed any heroic traits, and not scare him off nor get him in trouble bc of his stupid feelings.
will could now befriend an amazing boy for real and that's all that should matter. all that would ever matter.
if it takes will years to feel comfortable drawing 'sir mike', that's between him and an unassuming stash of paper in his closet he cannot bring himself to throw away (he's still scared of the possibility of making mike dissapear)
#byler#byler fanfic#<- not really but still#okay its not full pygmalion more like law of attraction or something#idk i was listening to old songs and got the line âif you weren't real i'd make you upâ stuck in my head#i know i said this would be a no UD/supernatural elements au but ig a more talented mind could still make it work with canon elements :D#it'd work too in a âthey meet until highschool in hellfire clubâ timeline. or a college club. or a 'friend of a friend' scenario as adults#my vision is a little too goofy and saccharine on purpose lol#if you like the concept it's free for grabs just lemme know /gen#will byers#mike wheeler#stranger things#miwi
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Okay again for the university virgin dream accidental pregnancy au.... hes constantly horny BUT hes restraining himself bc he thinks that's how he gets multiples.... hob doesnât.. Know how to Explain this to him.
-đŞ
This is so funny omg just imagine poor Dream squirming around and Hob is trying to soothe him, asking if sex would help? Stress isnât good for him and Hob will take such good care and make sure he doesnât have to lift a finger.
And Dream goes all wide eyed and says something like âbut⌠it will already be a struggle for us to raise ONE baby while we studyâŚâ and Hob is just like ????
Eventually he realises what Dream is getting at and heâs like âBabe. As far as I know youâre not actually a cat. I physically canât put another baby in you right now, this is the one time you DONT have to worrying about accidentally conceiving.â
But they never get around having sex that day because Hob has to explain how multiples actually work, and Dream wants him to draw diagrams. It kills the mood a tiny bit.
Another anon sent this and Iâm gonna include it here because the pregnant college Dream vibes are amazing. Heâd be so cute with his bump and his parenting books. The poor sweetheart is still slightly confused as to how he got into this mess in the first place, but heâs so glad it happened. Hob is the most excited expectant father in the world and not in the least bit bothered about being too young or unprepared. He just knows that he and Dream are going to love the baby SO much.
Hob ends up bringing the kid with him almost everywhere (Dreamâs degree is a little more hands on, whereas history classes allow Hob to make notes with one hand and soothe the baby with the other). The baby is a campus celebrity and Dream just wonât stop asking Hob about when they can get around to making another one together <3
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i am SO curious about what horrors saffron went through-- the post you made abt your first and most recent drawing of him is so intriguing esp bc i keep seeing the progression on my timeline
(idk if you've already talked about saffron's story, so sorry if you have! and no worries about answering if it's a personal oc story you dont want to share beyond what you already have with your art!)
Oh I can go ahead and share no problem!
Back when we first started the campaign, Saffron was an archfey warlock under Titania of the summer court which is why his powers were so nature oriented. He was also a joke character who followed the âflirty asshole tieflingâ archtype which lasted like 1 and a half sessions. Most of his plot in the 1st and 2nd arc was him realizing and struggling through the abuse Titania put on him, ESPECIALLY in arc 2 where she started fucking with his magic. On top of this we have the party dynamic- almost constantly falling apart and getting into disagreements once we hit end of the 1st arc. During that he was also being forced by Titania to collect info on the magic users to use against them. Finally thereâs Klaus- an Owlin barbarian who Saffron feels extremely close to who kept throwing himself in danger, often times for Saffronâs sake, and refusing Saffronâs claims that he wasnât a monster and to stop. All together a fairly rough time.
What started the spore bit was a deal he made with a nothic, who agreed to give him info on his past (heâs got amnesia due to the unknown amount of time in he spent in the feywild) in exchange for some of his magic. It almost killed him but he made it, got some fairly useless info and a black streak in his hair. Later the next day he had a lovely encounter with Titania which resulted in him getting his magic snatched for a bit and revealed their dynamic to the rest of the party (Iâve been posting this sketch from that scene a lot but I donât think I ever put an explanation around it)
Cut forward to last session. Saffron had talked to the Mother of Rot earlier when he had accidentally caused a tree to rot, and Klaus had attacked a fellow party member due to hallucinations. I failed a wisdom saving throw and got Saffron locked in a partially Titania-induced mindset and he was headed out to talk to her, saw Klaus, and they got into quite possibly the worst argument anyone in the party has had yet. Failed another wisdom saving throw and Saffron attacked him. Titania ended the fight by burning Klausâ back off and Klaus subsequently stabbing her, Saffron snapped out of the mindset and used his silly little rot powers to keep her from healing. Their connection was severed and the contract was broken.
To sum it up- heâs lost all his previous powers aka the thing that Titania did to remind him heâs useless without them, heâs lost the 2 people heâs every loved romantically (Titaniaâs hunting him for sport, Klaus hates his guts and is romancing another Owlin), his memories are starting to come back in the worst ways, heâs despised by 3/4ths of the team, one of his major character points is his fear of death and heâs got a NECROMANCY CLASS, he is under the power of yet another big magic lady bc his new ties to the unseelie court which heâs always known as evil, and, like previously stated, heâs being hunted for sport by his ex who is considered the most powerful being in the Summer Court.
Heâs a bit fucked rn
#saffron#I tried to make this as short as possible#but good god#itâs a lot#not even gonna touch on theâyour mind is not your own â trauma#or the extent of his emotional abuse#or his objectification and alienation in the feywild#basically heâs a little bit fucked up
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due to Life Shit I kind of stopped drawing much about a year or two after I graduated high school bc I just kind of didnât have the time or mental/emotional/physical capacity to fit it in, despite art being something I really want to be a part of my career. It kind of makes me sick to realize how much muscle memory I lost just from that time (I had only about a year and a half total of absolutely no art but that was enough. doesnât help that during that time I seriously injured my hands) considering Iâve been drawing my entire life. I really wish things had not gone that way and that I could have kept going, but expectations were on me to do something else and any time I sat down to draw was treated as wasting time. Thereâs also something weird about recovering from severe trauma that kind of adjusts how you engage with a hobby you used as a coping mechanism, which Art very much was. I almost never drew vent art, but I used it to focus on something and make myself happy and proud of work I actually could do, and once I was out of the environments that funneled me into drawing (being forced to go to church, school, anything involving sitting down for a long period of time) I found less time to actually have an excuse. Someone bought me a single college course of art classes right out of high school, and I think that was where I COULD have had the opportunity to really get started if I had actually had the money to continue and the college hadnât been so far away. After that course ended I didnât have that excuse anymore. I used to draw in DeviantArt and Discord art groups, but those began to fall apart and soon I didnât have that option either. After that I doodled but didnât really create Full Pieces unless some friend asked it of me, and it was never a commission bc Iâd never trained myself to get that sort of shit done without taking too long, so Iâd always do it for free. So even that wasnât a big motivator eventually. Now that Iâm struggling for work after becoming more physically disabled after COVID, all that time I could have spent honing my art skills so I could do SOMETHING with my art really is weighting down on me. I have the option to do freelance work, illustrations, pet commissions, even things like cards and cookies. Iâve seen these avenues open up for me gradually, but Iâve lost the skills I built up that I need to actually make something Iâm proud of. Iâve taken to tracing old art to try and remember my thought process and my âstyleâ⌠but my memory was bad BEFORE the covid, and itâs worse now, and my brain fog makes it hard to focus even if I could get back on the train of thought. I donât remember the construction that would be in my mindâs eye. I barely can keep a clear vision in my mindâs eye anymore, worryingly. I never had a crystal clear imagination, it was always sort of abstract, but I could see the lines, I could construct a scene. Now I have to focus hard to get any sort of detail clear in my head. Itâs like if you tried to look directly into someoneâs face in a dream, or put in a prompt in neural blender. So I have to adjust to performing the entire thought process physically, slowly and tediously trying to figure out what Iâm imagining before I can really get started. Those old art tutorials for constructing shapes and bodies and such just arenât coming naturally anymore so I have to dredge deep into my mind to remember which advice helped âclickâ the best and knowing it might not do it this second time around. Itâs like if you forgot how to ride a bike. It was something natural to you, you could even get started haphazardly and distracted and still be able to tell where you were going and not fall over or trip on yourself, but now itâs like you have to focus on each step and it constantly feels like itâs taking everything you have to not crash. Iâm glad I can start drawing again, but it hurts that something so huge in my life has been turned into this. Iâve ranted about it before itâs just easier to notice when youâre not sketching out peopleâs pets or doing super stylized doodles.
#I didnât know you could max out a âtext blockâ on tumblr also. my indication to stop LOL#long post#vent#kind of. Iâm not like super angsty abt it Iâm just sad that I have to spend more time remembering#instead of actually accomplishing anything with my dreams. Iâm 26 and thereâs 18 year olds living my fucking dream yknow#I know you donât have a certain age requirement for art but I also know you never stop improving#and being set back before I was even proud enough to set prices for my work is kind of devastating#I just love art. I want to be an animator or something involve with creative concepts.#I want to make things Iâm proud of. but what used to come easily now feels like chewing nails#the metal ones not the cartilidge. anyway#I know Iâm kind of hard on myself but itâs hard not to be when youâre surrounded by people with such talent#and it feels like youâre running behind when you see people getting to their dreams so much sooner than you.#I know itâll happen but it hurts sometimes remembering what I used to imagine id be doing at this age#and realizing past me probably had more of a chance at these careers than I do right now bc of brain damage and physical and mental issues#itâs not confirmed if I have brain damage but like. I can tell something is different.#itâs not like theyâd be able to diagnose it by now or even that itâd change anything#I just have to keep going and keep trying. itâs just discouraging and frustrating#I wish I could summon all the memories from my brain back up so I could feel happier about my art#Iâm happy to have the chance to start drawing again donât get me wrong. I still like to draw. itâs just.#I can tell the difference between how it was and how it is now and it makes me mourn#ough I wish I still had a therapist lmao. Deb get the fuck back here you traitor.
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M. Dupain-Cheng (aka Ladybug) Headcanons <3
Honestly sheâs just a lil clumsy dummy and I love her lol. Nothing more to say, just that.
She used to do ballet when she was little. She was in the same class as ChloĂŠ (and Adrien). She used to make fun of her for being clumsy however, and this transferred over into academic school.
She really likes tea. Jasmineâs her favorite.
She also really likes gardening; she hangs out at a garden top building she knows a lot.
I retcon that a lot of the plants she has growing on her roof are actually herbs and stuff.
Lots and lots of basil.
She knows flower language and has a few books on it.
She rlly loves candles but barely ever lights them so sheâs got this huge assortment of brand new candles sitting around in her room.
Tbh she does this a lot.
She has a huge collection of stationary that she never uses. She just has to get them when she sees them.
She has gel pens and post-itâs and stickers galore. It canât be constituted but she does.
Also doesnât really color traditionally often; she just does a lot of sketching and drawing in pen and pencil for the most part.
On the other hand, sheâs an expert at digital color.
Did yâall see the Jagged Stone album??
Her parents didnât let her have a sewing machine until she was like 12 bc yikes automated sharp thing.
Thus, sheâs rlly good at sewing by hand.
There was a long period however where nearly all of her fingers were constantly covered in bandaids bc she kept sticking herself; she could have just used thimbles but honestly they just made it rlly hard.
At one point she figured out that preliminarily putting on bandaids prevented any sort of actual hurt and she began to do so, replacing the ones that had fallen off each time she went to sew again.
Sheâll stick her tongue out when sheâs concentrated on drawing or will make the facial expression sheâs trying to portray.
Really good at pretty much anything creative that she tries her hand at. Drawing? Great. Fashion? The best. Jewelry making? Like a pro.
She uses mascara and gets into using different colors like pink n stuff.
Eyeliner that could kill a man.
She still has all of her old stuffed animals bc she was too attached to them to give them away.
She doesnât really listen to rap music too much but she can rap rlly rlly fast which is a surprise given how much she stutters n stuff.
She can wrap the entirety of fergalicious on request.
Both of her parents unironically listen to bring me to life by evanescence and itâs subtlely driving her insane.
Sheâs French, Italian, and Chinese, but is like 4% aware of her own cultures.
Like, sheâs not entirely French but she has no idea whatâs going on in the Italian and Chinese scenes rn?? The cultural identity crisis is real lmao.
Also she calls it âpatsaâ. She couldnât pronounce it as a kid for some reason and never bothered to stop. Her parents think itâs funny.
Also also Marinette is the daughter of the best baker in Paris but sheâd give an arm and a leg for Little Debbieâs cakes and Hostess snacks (like zebra cakes and cosmic brownies and cherry pies and marshmallow/cream filled crap).
She eats a lot of them as of becoming ladybug bc she can afford to tbh.
Her parents chalk it up to puberty + the runs sheâs been going on lately.
Hint: the runs are to cover up how sheâs actually getting as fit as she is.
Sometimes Forgets to Hide her Strength and will Pick Up people or Heavy Things.
Adrien would be embarrassed to admit that he actually liked it when Marinette Carried him once.
The class secretly shares photos of her Forgetting and Picking Up.
Also, after becoming Ladybug, for some reason, flowers and plants seem to be a lot easier to care for now.
She could forget to water her basil for a week and itâs still as big and bright as ever??
This bouquet should have wilted two weeks ago?? Cut flowers literally never last this long??
Those werenât supposed to bloom for another two weeks?? Those werenât supposed to bloom at all??
Sheâs basically her own little cell tower too. Need a better connection? Go stand by Marinette.
Flexibility is insane. Also reflexes.
If you catch her by surprise, you will be thrown.
Marinette will literally talk shit abt Chat Noir and then someone will simply agree with a lil mhm or a yeah and sheâll turn around and give dozens of counterpoints to what she was just saying two seconds ago and absolutely go for the throat and slaughter them for ever even thinking about saying anything bad about Chat Noir like that like the audacity.
She keeps all the flowers he gives her as Ladybug and presses them and puts them in this giant, heavy ahh archaic lookin book she has lying around.
Tbh even she doesnât know where it came from but yk, flowers :)
No but actually she doesnât question it nearly as much as she should.
Or at all. Marinette what is that thing.
We all know that she thinks of her role as Ladybug and her powers as a responsibility more so than an escape like Adrien does, but I like to think that at some point (maybe after the Santa Claws incident?), she loosens up about it and begins to understand Chatâs pov on the miraculous. Obviously, she still thinks of it as something not for personal use, but sheâs more open to wandering.
Sometimes when she canât sleep (particularly because of superhero-related stress), sheâll sneak out to find a nice place to sit and look out on the city, letting the drowned-out ambience lull her to sleep.
Sometimes on cold nights, sheâll bring a blanket or a jacket or something. She also likes bringing her sketchbook.
Sheâs more than once awoken to the sun on her face, on the roof of a building after accidentally dozing off and had to rush home.
We love her đđ ok thatâs it, bye.
#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#mlb#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#headcanons#marinette dupain cheng headcanons#ladybug headcanons#also the pigtails are adorable#i can see her color coordinating her hair ties with her outfit#which is to say theyâre pink like 80% of the time#i feel like sheâd also look really cute with braid yk?#also abt her parents listening to bring me to life#i think the first time sabine heard it she was a little bit taken aback#and then tom heard it too and he was all#isnât this what marinette listens to?#and her mom is like#oh youâre right#and then she kinda laughs and they both start jamming out to it#and both of them are in the kitchen testing a new recipe while marinette is sitting on the couch watching tv one day#and the song comes on and they both start gently head banging and mouthing the words and singing into their spatulas and playing air drums#and marinette is just sitting there watching them#absolutely mortified#also i feel like marinette canât really head bang that hard bc itâll give her a headache#not me projecting#also also i headcanon that she has to be really careful eating filled donuts#like jelly and boston cream donuts and what not#because she has a history of biting into the end opposite of the hole#and having everything squeeze out the other end and either end up on her shirt or all over the floor#ok thatâs it for real this time
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any byler and will headcanons Please đŤś
ohh ily for asking this ty
some of these iâve already posted about but:
- will likes to doodle on his assignments during class but he got in trouble for it one too many times so now mike makes sure to sit next to him in all their shared classes so that will can draw on his arm instead. they still 100% in trouble for it but neither of them care bc will is so endeared by it and mike is like âomg i get to WEAR your ARTâ
- elumax crumbs in this one!! lucas and will like to jokingly flirt with each other even tho lucas is dating max and el and will is dating mike and everyone gets SO pissy about it - el complains that will is always stealing her boyfriends and mike will literally shove his body in between them and act as a physical barrier to get them to stop. meanwhile dustin is just watching like. wow i hate my life. and max is the only one besides lucas and will that finds it funny
- mike steals willâs sweaters constantly and will tries to retaliate but mikeâs shirts are too tight on him so mike purposely starts buying oversized sweaters and hoodies bc he likes seeing will wearing his clothes
- mike first says âi love youâ to will while theyâre talking about something random and doesnât even realize he said it until will smirks at him and goes âyou love me, huh?â and mike starts freaking out bc he meant for it to be far more romantic and dramatic the first time he said it and then he says it without even realizing?? but will just laughs and kisses him and says âi love you tooâ and mike decides maybe itâs fine anyway like. it doesnât need to be dramatic bc itâs so natural and easy and thatâs why it slipped out in the first place
- will plays piano bc i said so. and mike plays guitar. mike once suggested that they switch instruments but then hopper complained that they both sounded terrible so they switched back
- jennifer hayes still wonât leave will alone. the party thinks this is hilarious. mike does not.
- will and mike only use pet names very sparingly bc a, max mocks them relentlessly if they do it in front of her, and b, they both just like the way the other person says their name?? theyâre both way more gentle when they talk to each other so pet names arenât really necessary. that being said mike calls will âbabyâ in a public environment at least once a week bc it makes will blush
- they get into petty arguments a lot but neither of them get truly mad over it. usually it just descends into will rolling his eyes and going âyouâre so annoyingâ and mike immediately going into flirt mode and using cringey one-liners on him until will starts laughing at him
- obviously mike is the Jealous one, and after a while he doesnât bother being subtle about it anymore, but sometimes mike gets hit on and will like. causes a commotion on the other side of the room or pretends to stumble and bump into them or something and half the time itâs believable enough that no one thinks anything of it but mike always knows and he teases will about it relentlessly. one time a girl tried to ask mike out and will made el light something on fire with her powers as a distraction
ummm ok iâm gonna stop there before this gets too ridiculously long but i could probably go on forever tbh. ty for the ask <33
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Yea... I know
Everyone wordlessly glanced between one another. Derek was the only one to hold his gaze on Stiles. Not once had the boy seemed upset or fearful. He was confused when Peter first came in, anxious when they were trekking through the woods, but never upset or fearful. And Derek was hopeful that was a good sign.
âUs, my family, weâreâŚâ Talia began, shifting a bit nervously. An introduction to the idea of werewolves never came out like this, it wasnât shared in such a rushed fashion - even she, as alpha, was grappling a bit on how to best proceed.
âWeâre werewolves,â Derek quietly finished once he realized his mother was a bit lost on how to direct the conversation.
OR: a fic that kinda got dragged out in some aspects, has no real plot points, features a semi-sorta magic!Stiles, a semi-off-brand Soulmate Thing going on, and mostly just gentle feels bc I thought we all deserved a reprieve from Depression Fests
Archive of Our Own Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42346869
âSettle down, settle down,â came the tired voice.
Derek leaned back into his seat, spreading his legs and getting as comfortable as one could in a school desk. It was his last period of the day and he was itching for it to be over. He wanted to get home and just run.
It had been one of those days. One of those days where he constantly felt on edge. One of those days where he felt like he struggled to keep his wolf at the back of his mind, constantly feeling it claw at his skin, begging to just give in and let go.
So all he could think of as Ms. Adams tiredly went through roll call was how he planned on getting home and running until the moon was high in the sky and his lungs were on the verge of collapsing. A promising afternoon, if you asked Derek.
âAlright, now that thatâs out the way, letâs get down to business,â Ms. Adams said coolly, moving to sit on the edge of her desk and face her class.
âIâm sure some of you may have been warned by my other periods but Iâm going to lay it all out so thereâs no question. For the next three weeks, you all will be working on a partner project,â she began. And already, several people were groaning. Others seemed quite pleased at the prospect of working with friends or splitting their work, but the overall reactions were split.
âOh come on! You all are in AP Art History! None of you had to be here and all of you knew that meant going the extra mile - I donât want any complaints.â Ms. Adams's retort came with narrowed eyes and a sharpened tone at the end. Which, fair, AP Art History was a class only taken by those who enjoyed art, needed to bulk their GPA for college, or were in desperate need to fill their schedules (usually settling on regular art or trying to TA for a teacher was the first choice, but when those options ran thin students sought out the easiest class with the nicest teacher - enter Ms. Adams who somehow scrounged together enough students for three periods of AP Art History!).
While some students mumbled and chatted amongst themselves, Derek frowned quietly to himself and tried to focus on what his teacher said, mentally taking note of things she said and wrote on the board in between.
Overall, the assignment didnât sound hard. The museum downtown was having an exhibit on display for the next couple of weeks centering around historic art forms which displayed a variety of different art - paintings, drawings, sculptures, 3D models - all of which talked about the beginning of art expression and how it evolved. Each major evolution offered insight into some of the most notable artists while in between those there were examples of smaller incremental developments.
Art was subjective, and as it grew, it becomes more difficult to chart a singular growth pattern. But this exhibit focused on the overall widespread evolution of artistic expression - an ideal topic for Art History. So when the exhibit happened to make a stop at Beacon Hillsâ own museum for a short time, Ms. Adams couldnât not take advantage of the opportunity.
âOkay! Simple enough, right? Nothing too terrible! And the only reason this is a three-week project is because one, thatâs how long the exhibit will be here. Two, the majority of this project will have to be done outside of class for obvious reasons,â their teacher continued, âNow, hereâs the part you all may hate me for - Iâll be assigning your partners.â
This properly upset the entire class, a chorus of groans and quiet pleas could be heard, all of which fell on deaf ears, of course.
âAlright, please listen for your names to be called. I will allow the rest of the period today for you all to get to know your partner, figure out a schedule of when will be best to meet, and look up the exhibit so you can get an idea of how youâd like to approach your projects!â
Derek had zoned out at this. He wasnât all that concerned. While he had to work with someone else, they could more than likely visit the exhibit once or twice over the weekend and then figure out time after class a few days over the next couple of weeks. He was already planning out how to minimize time with whoever he was stuck with when his attention snapped back to the front.
âThatcher and Brown⌠Cromwell and Langley⌠Hale and StilinskiâŚâ
At this, Derekâs eyes snapped up, widening slightly. Oh god, anyone but-
âHey, partner!â Stiles grinned, already sliding into the vacant seat next to Derek - which, huh, when did the girl next to him even move?
âUh⌠hi,â Derek responded, giving a stiff nod. He couldâve dealt with anyone else. Anyone else but Stiles. The boy next to him had plagued him since the start of high school and Derek had made it his lifeâs mission to avoid the boy at all turns.
At first, he assumed it was just a little crush, an attraction to the pale boy with too long of limbs, too soft of lips, and beauty marks for days. But then the smell - dear god, the boyâs smell was intoxicating.
Derek had to avoid the boy to make sure he didnât lose control. And the worst part was Derek didnât even know why! Sure, the boy was cute, but this level of attraction was uncalled for. Thus, avoidance. Because why face your problems when you can hide from them in the locker room?
âUh⌠so,â Stiles said, clearing his throat and breaking the silence which- shit, it had been quiet for too long hadnât it? Fuck, Derek thought, already off to a bad start. âI have lacrosse practice Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. And I know basketball usually does Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, right?â
Shit, Derek closed his eyes, so after school in the library was already off the table.
âSo I was thinking we could just meet up after practice one day and then hit up the museum this weekend? I donât have any games this weekend and I donât remember seeing any on the calendar for basketballâŚâ Stiles began mumbling, a blush rising to his cheeks.
âUh, no⌠no games this weekend for me either,â Derek confirmed, his eyes now glued to the table in front of him. Maybe if he avoided Stilesâ eyes he could maintain his control⌠maybe.
âGreat! So uh⌠how about Friday? We can meet up after my practice on Friday since we can go a bit later and not worry about, ya know, homework and⌠uh, school. And then meet up Saturday for the museum!â Stiles offered, offering Derek a small grin. He looked so eager to get Derekâs approval and even though Derek could smell the hesitancy rolling off the boy in waves, he couldnât help but melt just a bit at his eagerness.
âYea, yea, that sounds good,â Derek nodded. Dear lord, this is going to be a disasterâŚ
+ . + . +
The rest of the week flew by. AP Art History continued as normal, a couple of days were split to allow for students to pair off and work out plans, project outlines, and so on, but it all seemed low-level and passed in a blur.
So when Stiles didnât move after the last bell rang, eyebrows raised in question, Derek was at a loss. He wasnât sure what the boy asked and was stumped by what was going on. Which must have shown.
âYour.. address? So I can come by later?â Stiles asked, a bit hesitantly. âI would offer to do it at my place but my dadâs off work tonight and heâs got this case and⌠yea, he hasnât looked away from it in three days, the dining table is covered, and itâs just kind of crazy. Weâd either get our heads bit off for making too much noise or weâd get no work done because my old man would try to distract himself by asking about the project and just⌠yea, itâd be easier to not do it at my place,â Stiles rambled, his hands splaying out and moving a bit frantically as he tried to explain himself.
Derek frowned slightly, not too keen on having Stiles at his house. His parents were already fairly hesitant about people coming over at times but Derek also couldnât deny the bright-eyed boy next to him. Not only did it sound like his house was hectic as fuck currently but it was also the least Derek could offer after Stiles had spearheaded their entire project, laying everything out to the point all Derek had to do was get a few decent pictures and fill in the blanks.
Derek hadnât purposefully neglected his share of the planning, but Stiles was so energetic and excited by his own ideas and Derek was never good at interjecting⌠or talking⌠in general.
âOh, uh, yea! No, yea, thatâs⌠fine,â Derek stammered, nodding as he grabbed a pen. âHere, this is my address.â With that, Derek quickly scribbled out his address on a blank Post-It he had inside his notebook, passing it off to Stiles.
âAwesome! So uh, 7? That okay? Practice ends at 5:30, I should shower after so you donât have to deal with all⌠that! And then some cushion for drive time?â Stiles asked, a bright smile taking up his face as he confirmed.
Derek barely got a nod out before Stiles was scrambling out of his desk, giving a hurried excuse of practice and a rushed farewell before he was racing out of the classroom. And all Derek could do was sigh and tip his head back, staring at the ceiling for a minute. This project might just kill him.
+.+.+
Derek was sitting at the dining table, flicking through the outline for their project, a gallery of photos featuring the art exhibit on his laptop next to him. He was trying to plan out which pieces he wanted to get photos of and making notes of what pieces and artists they should look up later.
While Derekâs mom wasnât too pleased with the idea of someone essentially unknown coming into their home, she gave into her motherly side after hearing about Stilesâ dad. She assured Derek it was fine and made her son promise to have him and his friend join them for dinner before working on their project.
Just before 7 oâclock, Derek could hear the tell-tale sound of crunching gravel and the grumble of a slightly too old engine approaching the house. Within a few minutes, a knock was ringing out and Derek was opening the door to see a still dripping, flushed Stiles - crooked grin widespread on his face.
âHey, man! Sorry, it took so long, I tried to rush through a shower but Coach decided we didnât suffer enough today and made us run suicides before leaving,â Stiles apologized, his fingers carding through his hair to try and push it into place and ring out some of the excess water. âHe also had us do a âBonding Exceriszeâ and we had to compliment each other while doing suicides which⌠was harder than the suicides. Seriously, who has anything good to say about Jackson?â
Stiles grimaced and shook his head, stepping inside while he rambled. Derek couldnât help but let his lips quirk up at the mention of Jackson. He was a piece of work, Derek couldnât argue with that.
âItâs fine,â Derek assured, closing the door and leading Stiles inside, âAnd uh, I hope you donât mind, but my mom said she wanted you to join us for dinner before we got to work.â Derek blushed ever so slightly at this, ducking his head. Stiles simply smiled and nodded his assent. âYeah, dude, that sounds great! I can always eat.â
With that, the two boys went into the dining room, joining the rest of the Hale family as they bustled around. Derek put away his work for the time being, grabbing plates to set the table with Cora.
Soon, dinner was in full swing, Stiles seemingly melding into the chaos seamlessly. Cora and Laura had teased him about his shirt and memories of stunts in school, their dad had asked him about school and his classes, and their mom insisted on him having seconds - it was all easy and comfortable, Stilesâ laughter mixing with Derekâs familyâs laughter and the conversation seemingly constant and easy going. Derek stayed mostly quiet, trying to remind himself not to lean in too close, or stare too long, forcing away his desires to just stare and gape and simmer in all that was Stiles.
Almost too soon, the activities ended, Talia - Derekâs mom - and Jonathan - Derekâs dad - were grabbing leftovers and clearing the table. âOh, I can help with the dishes! Itâs only fair since you cooked and dealt with me all night,â Stiles quickly offered, moving to stand and reach out to take the dishes from Talia, a small smile on his lips.
âYou really donât have to-â Derek quickly interjected, but Stiles waved him away.
âNah, really, I donât mind! I wasnât raised by wolves, itâs the least I can do and my dad would kill me if he knew I didnât lend a hand,â Stiles joked, moving to take the dishes to the sink. Everyone seemed to minutely freeze at his comment, eyes darting around, before awkwardly pressing forward.
However quick the pause was, it was still noticeable. An air of nerves and embarrassment came rolling off Stiles as he spluttered momentarily. âOh, I uh, I didnât mean- Iâm sorry, that was rude- I was just-â Stiles stuttered out, a blush rising to his cheeks and down his neck.
Talia quickly waved it off, shaking her head. âNo, no - youâre just being polite, sweetheart. And itâs appreciated. You can go ahead and rinse those off and just put them in the dishwasher,â she soothed him, smiling reassuringly. Derek couldnât help but soften at the interaction, enjoying the compassion and love his alpha was showing Stiles. Taliaâs hand gently cupped Stilesâ shoulder and Stilesâ smile seemed to be one of shock and appreciation, his eyes darting to the hand on his shoulder almost fondly.
It was almost too much for Derek.Â
But of course, all good things must come to an end. And in Derekâs case, they came to a horrifyingly abrupt, painful end.
It was within a split second that the easy, playful conversation between his family and Stiles that everyone seemed to tense, senses on edge. Derek had been so wrapped up in the moment that he almost didnât understand why the room was suddenly filled with a sense of dread, that is until he caught a whiff of his uncle. And then sight of him.
Peter Hale came barreling into the house through the back door, eyes shining gold, fangs out, claws out, and reeking of desperation and fear. Before Talia or anyone else could start to question him or harp him for coming into the house in such a state, his words were rushed out.
âIt- Itâs Luna, we canât find her! We went for a run before coming back and-â Peter started, a frenzied look taking over his face. At this, everyone seemed to launch into motion.
âWhere did you last see her?â Talia asked, abandoning the leftovers on the counter and already moving to step outside. Peter began explaining where they last were in the preserve before he lost sight of his daughter. Derek and the others were so caught up in the commotion and the dread of a pack member being in trouble that no one spared a second thought to Stiles who stood a bit shocked at the sink, unsure what to do.
Without another thought, Talia and Peter took off into the woods. Jonathan turned to his children, pausing for a moment before launching into directives. âLaura, go check the creek - if she fell in it could be why Peter had so much trouble finding her scent. Cora, check the end of the drive and the tree line, if Luna did get lost she would probably try to find her way out of the woods first. And Derek-â Jonathan paused, eyes bugging out slightly as he caught sight of Stiles, the gangly boy hesitantly stepping through the back door and peering at the gathered family.
âDerek, keep an eye on Stiles until your mother gets back,â Jonathan finished a bit wearily. The realization of what just hit all four of the Hales, all of their eyes snapping to Stiles instantly.
With nods and murmurs of acknowledgment, they all parted. Derek turned to Stiles, hesitant and unsure of what to say. His apprehension for the boy became 10x more intense, afraid of what the boy would say or do. To his surprise, Stiles was the first to speak - and it wasnât at all what he thought heâd open with.
âLuna? Is that... Is that your uh, cousin or something? Should we help them?â Stiles asked hesitantly, his eyes darting around to look around the treeline, assessing the situation.
Derek looked at the boy in front of him a bit dumbly, unsure how to respond.
âDid anyone go to the cover near your driveway? I know your dad mentioned a creek, but I remember there being a couple of coves in the hill where your driveway is - thereâs a small creek thing there. It would be the perfect place for someone to hide, or get swept up in,â he continued, nodding towards one end of the tree line.
All Derek could do was slowly nod, jerking his head to the side to lead Stiles to the exact place he was talking about.
In a bit of desperation to find his cousin mixed with a continuous thrum of anxiety about Stilesâ reaction, Derek darted off towards the rocky hillside with the covers. Stiles was barely keeping up, stumbling a bit as they ran over tree roots and fallen branches.
When they approached the beginning of the small creek feeding into the mouth of the first cover, Derek slowed, lifting his nose to scent the air. But it was so muddled. He could smell faint traces of all his pack members throughout the woods, he could smell the numerous scents of the animals that passed through the creek and had at one point made the coves their own home. He could smell Luna but it was so muddled and muted he couldnât tell if it was new or fading.
Stiles opened his mouth to say something, but Derek put a hand up, hearing a whine and a sniffle. âWait... I think I hear Luna,â Derek mumbled. The two boys inched closer to the cove, peering in, but they saw nothing. Derek slightly deflated, but then there was another whine, a broken cry.
Moving deeper into the carved-out cove of rock, Derek tried to hone in on the sound. The rush of water around his feet and the echoing of sounds in the space made it difficult, but he realized the sound was coming from a back corner of the space, hidden behind clusters of rocks. âLuna,â Derek tentatively called.
âDer⌠Derek,â came a quiet, pitiful response. Lunaâs voice sounded tight, her voice thin and quiet as if she was physically unable to speak any louder without falling apart. Derek darted down, kneeling in front of a small opening at the base of two rocks that leaned against the side of the cover. The rocks seemed as if they had previously been a part of the top of the cover, having fallen and covered a small hollowed-out section in the back of the cove.
Derek tried to squeeze in, his arms getting caught and refusing movement past a foot. He groaned, determined to make himself collapse into the space to get to his cousin.
âDerek, let me,â Stiles soothed, pulling gently at the larger boyâs shoulder. Derek pulled back, eyeing Stiles wearily before nodding slowly, moving away to let him in. Stiles, in all his sharp-angled, narrow-shaped glory, slid himself into the opening, shimmying his legs and hips as he squirmed half on his left arm and with his hip as he disappeared out of sight.
Derek strained to listen, making sure they both werenât stuck now.
âHi, Luna. Iâm Stiles. Are you stuck?âÂ
â...ye-yes. I was chasing a- A-â the small voice quivered, on the verge of breaking apart once more.
âHey, hey. Thatâs not important now. Just tell me where youâre caught,â Stiles said softly. Derek leaned into the hole, wanting desperately to get closer, to help. His nerves were off the chart knowing not only Luna was in pain and stuck but that Stiles could also now be hurt and or stuck.
âMy leg. I slipped on the water. There was another hole but when I slipped I got caught and the rock was too heavy to move and I couldn't-â Luna broke off once more, a sob spilling from her lips.
âWeâll get you out in no time!â Stiles assured gently.
Derek pressed into the opening, trying to catch sight of either Stiles or Luna, but only catching glimpses of Stiles' feet, still sideways as he laid on his side in the opening. He finally backed up, trying to allow Stiles room to move if needed, but kept his eyes as tuned in as possible to the two just a few feet away.
Several minutes passed, soft cries from Luna and the shifting of rock, and gentle reassurances from Stiles were the only sounds Derek could hear. Soon after the sliding and grinding of rock was heard, Derek watched Stiles wiggle his legs back out of the entrance. Derek grabbed at his leg, gently pulling it and helping guide him out.
When Stiles appeared again, he had a small girl wrapped around his torso tightly. Luna had his arms clung around the boyâs neck, her head tucked tightly under his chin, her one leg wrapped around Stilesâ hip and stomach while the other - still bloody and cut up from the rock - stuck out as straight as possible, following the line of Stilesâ body.
Stiles had one arm tightly wrapped around the girl, the other was pinned between his side and the ground, his hand tried to prop up Lunaâs hurt leg while he used his elbow and forearm to push their bodies along the floor and out the hole. Stiles had attempted to make the two of them as small as possible, making the squeeze through the opening even harder than the first time. But he did it with a level of grace Derek had never seen the younger boy possess. And sure, Stiles came out with a few scrapes of his own along his arms, hands, and cheek, but it was still one of the most graceful actions Derek witnessed of anyone.
âGot her,â Stiles breathed as he shifted to his back just outside of the opening. Luna stayed clinging to Stiles and Stiles closed his eyes for a second as he heaved in a deep breath. âOh god, letâs get back to your house, Iâm freezing,â Stiles suddenly hissed, shifting up to a proper sitting position as quickly as he could. Both the boys seemed to just now realize that the water from the creek filled up the first few inches of the coveâs floor and Stiles was now properly soaked from crawling around on the ground.
Derek helped Stiles stand and tried to remove Luna, who whimpered pitifully and only tightened her grip on the gangly boy instead. Stiles gasped gently, casting a smile towards Derek that was both apologetic and bordering on a slight grimace. âFor the sake of my ribs and lungs, I think we should let her stay where she is for now, dude.â
The trio made the trek back to the house. As they came into sight, Derek caught sight of Laura and Cora who immediately latched onto the three moving towards them, running up to inspect the scene.
âOh thank god!â Laura exclaimed, her hands gently ghosting over Luna, eyes tracing over the girl as if to confirm it was indeed her there and not another lost child from the woods. âGet them inside,â Laura ushered, pushing Stiles and Luna towards the house, eyes staying on Derek as she spoke.
Once Derek got Stiles and Luna inside and closed the door, he heard Lauraâs call into the woods, her howl was quiet and subdued, not one of warning or distress but instead one of calling. Cora had disappeared down the hall, presumably to look for towels.
âThank you,â Derek quietly whispered, his hand coming up to cup the back of Stilesâ neck, meeting the other boyâs eyes. Derek hoped the other could understand the sincerity and openness he tried to convey in that one look. The deep appreciation. Stiles simply nodded, a shiver running down his spine as he offered an awkward half-smile.
The moment was quickly broken as the back door slammed open, the rest of the Hale family spilling in. Peter Hale and his wife - Gloria Hale - zeroed in on the wet, shaking mass in Stilesâ arms. Talia, Jonathan, and Laura lingered at the sides, taking in the scene.
âLuna!â Peter croaked, lurching forward. Luna looked up from Stilesâ neck, her wide eyes filled with tears and a small sob falling from her lips. She loosely detached herself from Stiles and allowed herself to be pulled into an embrace by her father.
The next few minutes were filled with consoling and half-asked questions. Peter and Gloria checked over their child, fretting over the blood and (healing) cuts on her leg. Talia moved forward only to cup the back of Lunaâs neck and offer a gentle squeeze before moving back once more, the need to comfort the girl and ensure she was okay being filled by the small action enough.
It wasnât until Peter and Gloria finished fretting over Luna and Cora had reemerged with towels that everyone turned their attention back to Stiles. The boy smiled at them all nervously, shivering as he tightened his grip on the towel.
âWe need to have a... Talk, Stiles,â Talia started, gently guiding the boy into the living room. Derek trailed closely behind, immediately grabbing the first available blanket to wrap around Stilesâ shoulders as he took a seat on a couch. Stiles threw the dark-haired boy a grateful smile as he pulled the blanket around him snuggly.
âFirst, we want to thank you for helping find Luna. We cannot thank you enough or repay you for your kindness,â Talia began, exhaling afterward. âSecond, I think you deserve an explanation of all that happened tonight.â
Everyone wordlessly glanced between one another. Derek was the only one to hold his gaze on Stiles. Not once had the boy seemed upset or fearful. He was confused when Peter first came in, anxious when they were trekking through the woods, but never upset or fearful. And Derek was hopeful that was a good sign.
âUs, my family, weâreâŚâ Talia began, shifting a bit nervously. An introduction to the idea of werewolves never came out like this, it wasnât shared in such a rushed fashion - even she, as alpha, was grappling a bit on how to best proceed.
âWeâre werewolves,â Derek quietly finished once he realized his mother was a bit lost on how to direct the conversation. Talia snapped her eyes at him, a moment of surprise that her son spoke up, but nodded.
Stiles shifted beside Derek, a frown gracing his features as he looked up at Derek. A confused look crossed his eyes as he gently shook his head.
âYea⌠I know,â Stiles spoke slowly. At this, the boy turned his gaze to look across the others spread across the living room. âI⌠have known. I thought you guys realized that? I thought thatâs why my 'raised by wolves' comment was taken so badly - foot-in-mouth moment and all..?â
Everyone, once again, froze up. Clearly, no one was aware of Stilesâ in on this topic.
âYou.. knew?â Derek asked weakly, his brows drawing in. Stiles simply nodded, shrugging.
âI mean, your wolves are kind of a part of you. Itâs hard to ignore them wrapping around you,â Stiles shrugged as if that was obvious.
âOur wolves? What⌠What are you talking about?â Derek asked, his eyebrows drawing further in. Nothing the amber-eyed boy was saying made a lick of sense. Had he seen them all shifted before? But he said wrapped around⌠thatâs⌠thatâs not right.
Derek focused his gaze to look Stiles head-on, hoping to find some sort of answer. Instead, Derek saw Stilesâ eyes - his once warm, dark amber eyes - shining a bright silver-y color that ebbed at emeralds throughout. It was like a light in the dark, a spotlight that Derek was stuck in.
âWhat are you?â Talia asked cautiously, causing Stiles to snap his eyes towards her and offer an apologetic smile, the light from his eyes dimming and flickering out until the warm amber irises returned once more.
âThink of me as a messenger of the woods. Iâm fae - connected to the earth,â Stiles explained. At this, Luna finally lifted her head, her mouth twitching into a small smile. âHe moved the rock, daddy, he moved it just by touching it,â she offered, tugging gently at Peterâs shirt. Stiles smiled at her, offering a small nod.
âAnd youâve known about us all this time?â Jonathan quipped, leaning forward in curiosity
At this, Stiles laughed. âIâm connected to you - all of you. I can feel all of the supernatural here. I thought you guys knew,â Stiles nodded, âitâs why I thought you avoided me.â The last part was murmured quietly, directed at Derek.
At this Derek blushed, ducking his head down low. âUh, no⌠no thatâs not why,â he muttered.
âAh, well, we should give you two some time to talk. And Iâll go find you both some new clothes, you both look like you went for an evening swim,â Talia huffed, quickly ushering the others out of the room with her. She could sense the need for a deep talk and she for one did not want to be a part of that awkward engagement (she knew her son well enough to know it would be painful to some degree).
As the others cleared out, Derek grabbed Stillesâ hand, directing him to the porch. Hopefully, his family couldnât hear everything they said (or they would at least pretend to not hear it, he hoped).
Before Derek could begin to (painfully) explain why he had been avoiding Stiles, the other boy rushed out, âIâm sorry.â At this, Derek quirked an eyebrow.
âIâm sorry. I didnât⌠I didnât mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought you knew and I thought you were weirded out because of, uh⌠of the connection. But now I realize you were uncomfortable because you could just sense my uh... Attraction, to you, and since you donât know me, that was probably really weird and-â
âStiles⌠Stiles, wait - no, thatâs not it,â Derek interrupted, shaking his head. âWait, connection?â he backtracked, squinting at the other.
Stiles blushed, ducking his head. âYea, Iâm fae. And us - fae - we have these things called kindred spirits. Which, yea, I know, is a saying or whatever, but it came from us, ya know? And⌠essentially, it means that we recognize a part of ourselves in another. Itâs not like⌠a soulmate thing - I mean, it could be! But it essentially is just when two people share a part of their souls - a part of themselves. It attracts us to specific people and it can⌠develop into different things,â Stiles licked his lips, chancing a glance at Derek before continuing. âI noticed a kindred spirit in you, and I really wanted to get that connection, ya know? To see how we- if we could fit together. But god, dude, youâre like⌠a greek god, Jesus Christ, you donât even seem real. How could I not be attracted to you? And you had a kindred spirit? It was just-â Stiles exhaled.
âIâm sorry,â he said, again, quietly.
Derek slowly broke out into a grin, shaking his head. âNo, donât be. I uh, I was actually avoiding you for⌠similar reasons,â Derek offered. Stiles snapped his eyes up, gaping at the other boy.
âI avoided you because your scent⌠it was so intense. And every time I knew you were near, I had trouble controlling myself. You smell⌠you smell like home. Like comfort and happiness. I just wanted to wrap myself around you but we didnât know each other soâŚâ Derek elaborated, trailing off. He didnât know how else to describe it, but if Stiles could bare himself so easily to Derek then it was only fair Derek offered him the same. Or, as much the same as he could muster.
At this, Stiles grinned. His hand snaked out from his bundle of towel and blanket, lacing his fingers between Derekâs. âYou felt the spirit,â he murmured, âit would have felt different for you and⌠and you felt it.â
âYea, I did,â Derek agreed, leaning closer to the boy.
They both sat there, staring at one another, letting silence wrap around them. The silence was comfortable, a statement of their understanding of one another and the moment they were sharing. It was oddly intense but also relaxing - a feeling Derek had never experienced.
âCan IâŚâ Derek asked, raising a hand to Stilesâ cheek, leaning in ever so slightly more. This only got him a wide, cheeky grin. Stiles leaned in, tilting his head ever so slightly, and met Derek halfway, their lips melding together.
Derek caressed Stilesâ cheek, his other hand moving to rest between where the other boyâs hips and thigh met. Stiles allowed his hands to reach out and pull Derek closer, one hand gripping his bicep with the other curled around the side of Derekâs neck.
As the kiss deepened, lips working in tandem, tongues taking turns to trace the otherâs tips, a jolt ran through each boy. Stiles felt a hum resonate throughout his body while Derek felt an overdrive in his sense. He could suddenly only smell Stiles, and everywhere the boy touched him felt numbingly hot, his heartbeat was suddenly a tempo in the back of Derekâs mind.
Once they parted, foreheads lent against each other, the hum in Stilesâ veins quieted and Derekâs haze of sensory overload dulled.
Stiles opened his eyes, an easy grin spreading across his face. âWe fit together,â he mumbled, a lilt to his voice that showed just how excited he was.
âYea, I know,â Derek responded, an easy smile making its way onto his lips as he leaned forward again, chasing another kiss from the boy in front of him.
#Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski#Derek Hale#Stiles Stilinski#Laura Hale#Cora Hale#Derek Hale's Father#Derek Hale's Pack#Peter Hale#OC - Character#random drabble#Alternate Universe - High School#Magical Stiles#sort of#Alive Hale Family#ao3fic#AO3#sterek#teen wolf#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf fic
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I do not believe AI generated images can be considered art and here is why
(Images have ALT text.)
On top of this, lemme also tell you another reason why AI generated images cannot be considered art, and for that I'll have to explain what creativity is in my eyes.
My definition of creativity is "The ability to solve abstract problems." Machines aren't capable of abstract thinking, but human beings are. A machine doesn't put any thought into what it's doing, it has no understanding of intent. But human beings do.
It's really telling that a lot of people arguing against artists aren't artists themselves and thus don't get the nuances of art. For them it doesn't matter. A picture is a picture, what's the deal? But there's so much behind art, so many nuances, so many creative decisions and intents, there's so much underneath the journey. It's not about the final piece itself but the journey. There's no journey behind an AI generated image. Nothing. It's soulless. It's mass produced and incredibly cheaply so. You can see the seams where the molds met, the lacking quality of the materials, the badly applied paint, every single hallmark of a cheaply mass produced item.
"But photography killed painting/digital art killed traditional art/3D animation killed 2D animation" I have a box full of alcohol markers and other traditional art supplies, and I also own a camera as I'm an amateur photographer, AND I OWN A BUNCH OF SKETCHBOOKS AND PENCILS WHICH I USE REGULARLY DESPITE BEING A PREDOMINANTLY DIGITAL ARTIST. And guess what? Blender, a 3D modelling package, also has tools that lets you create 2D animations and blend them with 3D. And on top of that, did you forget how big the anime industry is? Y'know, the industry that produces 2D animations?
You have NO idea what you're talking about. Actually, stop speaking over artists if you're not one. Please. We provide you all this art for you to enjoy and what do we get in return? We get trampled on for seemingly no reason when we beg people to have basic respect for us. Why do you do this? Did we ever do anything to hurt you personally? Are you jealous bc we were born with some kind of a superpower and are special when we actually aren't?
No amount of inability to draw will change the fact that AI generated images aren't art. This isn't gatekeeping. I'm not physically restraining you from picking up a pencil to draw. This is fact. What you perceive as gatekeeping is artists simply defending their rights and integrity.
No, artists aren't gatekeepers. Never have been. A lot of us are more than happy when someone expresses interest in getting into art. We put out tutorials, timelapses, tips and other resources to make the learning progress less of a bumpy road. We love sharing art with each other.
The reality is, one of the biggest gatekeepers in art is nothing else but YOUR OWN mindset to approaching it. This belief that only people born with the talent can do it. You think we came out of the womb drawing the way we do? We didn't. It's a skill we're constantly practicing and improving. All of us have produced bad stuff but we kept going. We got up over and over again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Tell me, of the skills you have learned, have you ever gotten anything perfect on your first try? Was your first attempt at cooking perfect? When you learned to ride the bike did you skip the training wheels and get it perfectly? Did you get perfect grades in school? Did you skip driving classes to get a driver's license immediately? (And if you immediately counter this with "duh you need driving classes so you aren't dangerous in traffic" you missed the point, hell I'm gonna assume you missed it on PURPOSE.)
Art isn't talent. It's a skill. Artists aren't special. We're just people who kept persevering, who kept believing in ourselves, that we could one day be great, and perhaps even greater. Kill the idea it's an inherent talent. Kill it for once and for all. It has dealt an unimaginable amount of damage to society and culture.
One more thing. If visual art isn't your thing or is completely inaccessible for you but you develop a knack for writing, you can just do that. Writing is a form of art. People have written vividly beautiful descriptions of things. And if prose isn't your thing, you can simply do scriptwriting instead. It's still art. You're still telling a story. One that is deeply personal to you.
To finish this post off, here's Guillermo Del Toro's stance on AI "art". (Source.)
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before i managed to land a job for long enough to afford a laptop of my own (so, when I was already 21 back when people irl actually took corona seriously) yeah a phone was the only computing device i was able to have- first bc i was a teenager and anything i wanted had to be given the parental seal of approval, then because "oh you're an adult, stop being forced to funnel your money back into your min-wage job so you can save up for a computer if you want one that badly."
and i only got a phone as a teenager because my dad wanted to be able to reach me anytime he wanted. and even then it took several years (and the fact that it would have been more expensive to keep the original phone) for him to even CONSIDER getting me a smartphone instead of a prepaid one. This was 2013-2017, btw. I had to tell nearly every damn teacher I had in high school that I couldn't participate in mandatory Kahoots unless they gave me their smartphones for the class. My slider phone got confused/befuddled looks from all of them at least once.
I had to get very good at sniffing out apps that would do what I wanted very quickly. Even now that I do have a laptop, there's still a few things I'm only able to do on my phone- drawing digitally without it looking like ass or spending more money than I have to my name on a drawing tablet, for starters.
An actual computer is definitely an improvement for just about everything, especially now that I've had to change phones and now that apps that I've always used for certain things have just stopped working the ways I need them to, but I can absolutely see how kids, teenagers, and young adults who grew up under more and more controlling parents and after the age of actual computer classes would see no other real option than phones and apps that are constantly being stripped of any non-marketable function.
this can't be true can it
#rosie rambles#sorry uhhhhh that got a bit more personal than i meant to go but i unfortunately can't see any better ways to make my point of#''i agree it's not necessarily the kids' faults''
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Little update !
Heyyy everyone !!!! Just wanted to write lol
So last update I told you I was going to my psych appt but she fucking cancelled it ? And then I rescheduled and then she just fucking bailed on me and didn't even show up to her own clinic ? Anyways I got very very upset and angry bc apparently she was TRAVELLING TO FUCKIGN NEW YORK ????????????? y'all...istg I must be a fucking saint to tolerate shit like this. Maybe I'm too passive...I didn't even allow myself to get mad and tell her but anyways. I guess I just am too used to sucking things up.
Ok so she told me to lower my dosage, and now I'm like ? Hm, I don't think so. And I might have done something really stupid ?
And I do not recommend anyone to do this PLEASE DON'T, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ! Erhm.... I might have stopped taking my meds ? For like. A month now ?
It kinda just happened honestly... I didn't have money to buy them, and then I started to forget taking them everyday, and then I guess I just. Idk I just stopped taking them ? And I only did that because I felt ok ? Not too bad, not too good, normal actually. And I know this is such a stupid part of me but I don't really think the meds were working anyways ? And since I dont feel bad, I guess I just. Do not care ?
I don't know ? I haven't been very anxious, I haven't been depressed, my mania ended a few days ago, I feel, normal. And ok. Idk ? When I got depressed it felt really debilitating but then I suddenly became maniac and it was over very suddenly and now I feel better. The only thing tho is now my sleep schedule is FUCKED. But idk ? Nothing else tbh ?
And I do not advise anyone to do this, I am making sure to say it as many times as it takes !!!!! Please ! I am saying dumb things I am not a doctor I have not studied medicine I have no idea what's going on !!! But I do know my body, and I can tell how I feel. And for now, I feel ok.
I am currently tabling at this anime convention and it's been taking my time for many weeks now, preparing merch and stuff, and now it's finally happening and ? It's very.... Idk ? Idk ? Idk idk I forgot the word (I'm not a native English speaker btw) it's when something goes below your expectation ? The event pretty much flopped, the tables were expensive, and I didn't sell too much. Idk ? Today's the last day (thank GOD, I forgot how much of a hassle and a pain and how tiring it is) so let's see how this will go.
I am so excited for my winter break tho !!!!! Can't wait to just play games and draw fun stuff and rot. Yay ! Soon.....
Also ! Haikyuu movie is finally here in Brazil !!!!!!! YAS !!! I AM SO SO SO HYPED AND EXCITED ! I haven't gotten tickets yet ofc cuz I'm busy but soon...soon my dear...
And ? It think I might have a little infatuation with this guy on my class. He is very, and I mean, VERY, handsome, and pretty, he's so good looking, I'm embarrassed to interact with him, and I get all awkward and shy. I just forget how to behave normally ? And I try so FUCKING hard to act normal (more than usual since..I act like this all the time. It's the tism) anyways and I found out he's not actually dating anyone ? Last year I knew he had a gf (she's in my class too) and I swore they were still together, but just were very low profile. Turns out no they broke up. Ugh I just. And he makes silly jokes of me and just, acting like an annoying little shit (he's the youngest sibling) and keeps saying I'm bald and stuff like that (just cuz...I dyed my hair blond ? Idk what his thought process is) anyways so like. I can't even tell if he likes me as a person ? He also keeps saying fuck yourself constantly to me . Like. Uhm ? Idk ? I am very intimidated by him but I can't tell if it's because he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen or if it's cuz of these "jokes". At first I thought it was very mean, and I tend to take things vry literally so I tried my best to not interact with him because i didn't want him to keep saying mean things, and didn't want to ruin even more my reputation or what he thought about me, but then I realized he jokes like this with everyone ? Which, honestly, is very very stupid. Hes a little stupid. I think it's because he's a man.
Anyways, I'm just so confused. I'm trying not to think too much about it because I tend to over project and my mind spirals and I start imagining scenarios and I might get confused and convince myself I have feelings that I might not really have ? Idk... I know I'm a romantic for sure so like. I tend to imagine too much idk idk idk so I keep trying to rationalize and think straight. Like, we don't even get along that well ? I think ? I don't even know if we're even friends ? I know he knows prettier people than me. I'm not very good looking. I'm not very nice too. I'm not good at anything really, and I don't have a very good personality. I am just not good. I have a friend and she's so sweet, and her nickname is "jesus". Cuz she's just nice and hardworking, and she always tries her best. And... I won't lie. I really really like her, and I can tell you all these things are true about her. And...it makes a little. Envious. I wish people thought about me that way I wished I was naturally good, and not having to try my best and work to be normal every single day. I wished people would see how much I'm trying. I really really am trying. But it's just not a natural thing to me, I guess. I always, constantly have this feeling, that I'm always performing. Someone is always watching me. And I always have to be my best and try hard and I just. I force myself to be nicer, more considerate, more careful, more thoughtful. Because these things just don't come up to me naturally. I am not good. Sorry for the rant.
Ugh. I think I just am forcing myself to feel something, y'know ? I've always dreamed about falling in love. I don't think I've ever did. Nor will ever do. I am pretty sure I'm aroace anyways.
Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Why are boys so stupid.
I just hope things don't turn out the way it did before, with my ex best friend. To sum up, he had feelings, I THOUGHT I had feelings too, but I just really really liked him, as a friend. As a best friend, in fact. So I ended up things and we just. Don't talk or hang out anymore. Which made me pretty upset, and made me think I might had actual feelings. Turned out I was just fucking lonely and miserable, and he was my ONE ONLY friend. Now that I've been hanging around with my uni colleagues, I don't feel that alone anymore. I made more friends ! Yay !
Also ! Happy pride month ! Happy to say that it's been some months since I came out as gender fluid, and I am so proud and never been better and as confident ( with my physical appearance) as I was before !
Ugh anyways, thanks for listening to me. As always, I will try to work on myself and become a better person every day. Thank u all !
Oh ! Ps: I've been slowly eating more ! I might fail sometimes but I've been making sure to at least go to bed with a full stomach. So I won't wake up dying and feeling miserable and in pain. So this is an improvement I believe !
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here comes the bride, all dressed in pride
summary; You and your cousin Doyeon have had beef with each other since the sandbox. When she plucks the last straw, you decide to end your long-simmering fight by claiming that you and her exâJeon Jungkook, are now boyfriend and girlfriend pairing; jungkook x reader (f) genre/warnings; fake dating!au, fluff, crack, mentions of cheating, lang, alcohol, mc eats meat, tw sexual harassment, toxic family, dick talk, making out, if u have that one family member that pulls bs on you constantly this is it, this fic is for all the people who have a huge ass family who wont leave them alone w.c; 17.3k a/n: my second fic for gcnâs 23 birthday project! the fact that wedding szn zoomed by us like that... and so bc im sad that so many weddings had to be postponed this fic was born! a huge thank u to vivi @eerieeditsâ / @chillingtaeââ for creating this BEAUTIFUL fic banner and separator pls check vivi out to make your fics all purty
prompts used: âYouâve always been beautiful to me, donât you know that?â and âI never knew love could be like this, feel like this.â
if you enjoyed this pls consider giving a like and a shaređđ
Doyeon likes to call Jungkook, âthe one who got away.âÂ
You like to call Doyeon, âthe one who drove him away.âÂ
In secret, of course. In fact, the only person who knows how much you loathe Doyeon and her behavior is your father. And all your co-workers. And your boss. And your bossâ ex-husband.Â
And Jeon Jungkook, but of course you havenât seen the man in two years and back then he was far too polite to address his concerns of your hatred of his then-girlfriend.Â
Okay, so everyone and their mother knows how much you donât like your cousin. Kim Doyeon and you have had beef since the sandbox, and for whatever reason is always out to one-up you. A strange competitive nature in everything, academics, family, and even boys. The sick, twisted part of you has come to enjoy it. While youâre not a fighter as devout as Doyeon is, you have your own callous tendencies farmed from the seeds Doyeon has planted in your brain. She gives you a comment? You canât help but throw one back. Since youâre a painfully mature soul you donât have any mortal enemies as far as you know, Doyeon is the perfect amount of hot water to keep you on your toes.Â
âIâm really sorry that you couldnât be a bridesmaid,â Doyeon cooes next to you, swirling her champagne glass with a too-jutted pout, âbut if I did thereâd be an odd number of pairings and youâre a little too old to be walking as a bridesmaid, am I right?âÂ
Your nails. Are digging. Through your dress. Alas, youâre in public and you have class. Doyeon smiles at you with all teeth, reminding you of the Beldam from Coraline. Aside from that she looks absolutely stunning in that Lirika Matoshi strawberry dress that has her Instagram aching with likes and love from her baseless followers.Â
âI donât know,â you reply lightly, leaning back in your seat, âI mean, if Yoojung and Rena can be bridesmaids and theyâre three years older than me, wouldnât I make the cut? Itâs okay to be honest and say you just didnât want me in the bridal party.âÂ
Doyeon laughs, slaps your thigh like you told her the most hilarious joke in the world. Anyone passing by would think youâre best friends. You laugh too, incredulous at the amount of power she thinks she holds.Â
âNice party,â you tack on, surveying the room. Itâs filled with pastels and beiges, bright and airy. Itâs Parisian themed, and while youâre not a fan of theming cultures, you canât deny that youâre loving the infinite supply of macarons.Â
âOh, yes. This is just a taste of the real wedding,â she laces her fingers together, as if she thinks sheâs living an Elizibethean love story, âspeaking of, you put on your RSVP that youâre bringing a plus one. Am I allowed to know whoâs the unlucky date?âÂ
âAs if you care.âÂ
âI care if youâre bringing Jimin. That tiny thing nearly gave Aunt Lillian a heart attack when he gave a striptease at Yoongiâs graduation party.âÂ
You smirk softly at the bold memory. That was the plan.Â
Doyeon sighs dramatically, crossing her legs and popping out a cherry red heel. She plays with the back on the balls of her feet, letting the little pearly rhinestones glisten in the candlelight, âI should really commend you, cousin,â she drawls, âI mean, how kind of you to be so charitable and give your dopey friends a chance to have fun. After all, Iâm sure it is difficult for someone like you to find a date.âÂ
Itâs no surprise as to how you end up with a date at any family formal gathering. You say you bring a plus one, and then between Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok. The three of them draw straws as to who gets to gorge on free alcohol and food for that night.Â
âDifficult?â you arch a brow, âI get plenty of dates.âÂ
Doyeon giggles. She must be feeling extra vindictive today, high on her impending marriage and the taste of bubbly champagne. âBy taking turns with those three? You gotta be kidding me,â she snorts, tipping back her crystal, âplease y/n. Donât get so defensive because Iâm getting married first. Your time will come. That is, if you stop dicking around with your friends.âÂ
Normally youâd smother any attempt at Doyeon to call out your friends, but now sheâs just done that and insulted your ability to get some, and you are livid.Â
âActually,â you quip sharply, âIâve been dating someone. Itâs been a couple months, actually.âÂ
âOh?â Doyeonâs genuinely interested, face falling slightly, âyouâve never mentioned anyone, I donât see anyone on your social media.âÂ
âYeah well,â you feign sympathy, pressing your lips together and tilting your head accordingly, âIâve had to keep it private for a couple of reasons.âÂ
âWhat, is he ugly or something?â she chuckles, âbut really, whoâs the person who has the misfortune of being in a committed relationship with you?âÂ
Maybe itâs because Doyeonâs right, the both of you are too old. The two of you have been running around each other for years, with no end in sight. Maybe, the words that linger on the tip of your tongue will be the final nail in the coffin.Â
âJeon Jungkook,â you state proudly, clear as day. âJungkook and I have been dating for three months.âÂ
And you pick up the vanilla macaron that sits innocently on your plate, ravishing it up like it contained all the tension in your table. Between you and Doyeonâs bubble, you could hear a pin drop.Â
âJungkook?â her smile is concrete-solid, âmy Jungkook?âÂ
âMy Jungkook,â you correct, giving her a puppy-eyed look, âIâm really sorry I never told you. I mean, is there ever a right time to tell your cousin theyâre dating their ex-boyfriend?â you laugh, either to lighten the mood or because you love the way Doyeon pinches her face, you donât know.
âHow did you two even meet?âÂ
âWe reconnected through Seokjin. You know how the two of them play Starcraft together, I just ended up joining the call and he was so funny and nice. We just sorta⌠felt it.â Doyeon nods like a slow bobblehead, still comprehending in her pea-sized brain, âI just hope it isnât too awkward. I know itâs been awhile but, if you really donât want Jungkook to come I can always take Hoseok or something.âÂ
âNo, itâs fine,â Doyeon says a little too quickly, masking on her picture-perfect smile. âIâm with Namjoon now, and Iâm totally happy. Water under the bridge, itâll be totally fine.âÂ
âReally?â your eyes practically sparkle, thankful for the amount of glitter and highlighter youâve dumped on your face today, âI really appreciate it, Yeonie.âÂ
And she quickly downs her champagne glass, and gets up from her seat. Itâs haunting, the way she gets up, pink tulle billowing around her ankles. âI have to attend to the other guests,â she says.Â
âOf course,â you raise your glass.
âBut, be careful,â she gives you a little smile, one filled with a last-ditch attempt at a jab, âJungkook, heâs a little hard to deal with.âÂ
âOh donât worry. I know how to deal with Jungkookâs hardness,â you wink, and Doyeonâs face falls like a ton of bricks.Â
âThatâs not what I meant.âÂ
âI know,â you shrug loftily, âthatâs what I meant, though.âÂ
And you donât bother watching Doyeon stomp off the metaphorical stage, double fisting two new glasses of champagne from an awaiting butler as she finds some other poor guest to pick on. Now, the matter of securing your date. Conveniently so, the most important man in the room is walking your way, and you manage to snag his tie just as he passes your table.Â
âOwâow! Iâm choking!â Seokjin grabs, nearly throwing his tall body onto your lap, hands grappling to release the tension on his neck. âLeave me alone, woman! I just wanted to get some chicken tenders!âÂ
âJin,â you say sweetly, opening his blazer to retrieve his phone, âI need Jeonâs number, now.âÂ
âJungkook?â your favorite cousin pales, eyes widening as you take out your phone of your own, copying down the digits, âwhat did you do?âÂ
âDonât ask questions.âÂ
Seokjin says your name again, firmer. âYouâre playing with fire.âÂ
âItâll be fine, itâs the last time,â you quell, already knowing how much Seokjin hates being in the middle of your fights. Once youâve secured the phone number, you place Seokjinâs phone back into his pocket, patting his breast. âThank you. You know youâre my favorite cousin, you know that?âÂ
He grumbles a âdamn right I amâ before stomping away, resuming his race for his chicken tenders.Â
You: hey jeon itâs y/n. I see youâre doing great, i saw on instagram that you released your first app w/yoongi! Totally amazing, been playing for weeks, really upset that i canât get past the flaming frog boss :((
You: Feel free to ignore this, i wonât blame you if you do. Im at doyeonâs rehearsal dinner, and she basically snubbed my friends and said i couldnât get some prime dick even though im?? Me??? Anyway, im tired of her shit so im gonna throw it back at her, one last time before she ties the knot. I told her you and i have been dating, and im bringing you as my date to her wedding. Really sorry, the demons took over my brain and made the worst and best comeback of my life. So⌠if youâre up for being the hottest couple on the floor in three weeks and showing how madly in love we are, please text me back? Or not. You might think this family is crazy and i accept partial responsibility.Â
You: Iâll buy u every meal for every practice date we have if u agree.đđđ
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: thanks, i appreciate that. To defeat the frog boss, go back to the coconut cave and find the garnet garter. It absorbs his fire and u can easily defeat froggo w any level 15 weapon
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: and as for the real reason u texted me. Im in. letâs get pork belly tomorrow.Â
Two years ago, you were surprised that Doyeon could manage to snag a man as fine as Jeon Jungkook. Also unsurprised, because Doyeon is gorgeous and could snag any man she wanted, and has snagged every man she wanted.Â
Jungkook was different though. He had an air of innocence to him. He loved her, a little too much to be safe. Your heart would betray you every time you would find him at a family gathering, making her plate and counting the calories she so meticulously measured. How can someone so sweet be with someone like Doyeon?Â
Your heart ached for Jungkook when they broke up a year later. From what you heard, Doyeon was Jungkookâs first serious girlfriend. And then you wanted to rip your heart out a week later when you caught Doyeon smooching with her favorite graduate professor Kim Namjoon, wanting to erase any possibility youâd have at love. At that time, you never wanted to feel the pain you imagined Jungkook was going through.Â
âY/n! Over here!â youâre a little taken aback at how much has not changed in Jungkook. His eyes still sparkle like fresh dew, his smile is still pearly white and infectious. Heâs even early, snagging a table at his favorite barbeque place and waiting for you as if he is the one organizing your first date.Â
At the same time, thereâs so much thatâs changed about him. Heâs confident, even going so far as to walk over to you and slip your jacket and purse in his grasp like a gentleman. He leads you by putting a hand lightly at the small of your back, making you feel impossibly small in comparison to his Dorito-shaped body, broad shoulders and a deliciously trim waist.Â
âHow was the walk over?âÂ
âNot too bad,â the conversation is casual, easy. You wipe the sweat off your forehead with a napkin. âCould use a little exercise now and again. I did eat a whole tray of macarons at that rehearsal dinner.âÂ
Jungkook laughs from his belly, causing you to smile. âNonsense. You look great, by the way,â you donât mind it, actually, you enjoy it when his eyes rake over your body. After all, heâs now your boyfriend and he needs to get familiar with all the important bits. He leans his arms forward, bracing him against the wooden table so his face is closer to yours.Â
âYouâre not doing too bad yourself,â your eyes gloss over the veins and intricate tattoos that paint his muscled upper half. Your smile morphs into a smirk, letting him know youâre enjoying the view just as well as he is.Â
And as soon as the tension sparks, it ends just as fast when your waiter comes up to light your grill.Â
âSo,â Jungkook wastes no time in decorating your stove, making sure to add all the appropriate aromatics and infusions to season your lunch, âdo you know why Doyeon and I broke up?âÂ
âCheated on you with Namjoon, I assume,â you keep your eyes trained on the darkening meat.Â
Jungkook slips a piece of meat in his mouth. Any expression of pain (whether it be from Doyeon or the barely cooked meat) doesnât reveal itself as he stops to take a sip of water. âWho else knows?âÂ
âJust me and Seokjin. The family loved you too much and Doyeon made up some sob story about how you two were going different life paths.âÂ
He chuckles to himself, taking great care in flipping the meat. âI really was a fool in love, wasnât I?âÂ
âIt⌠was mildly cute.âÂ
âTell me the truth, you have no reason not to.âÂ
âOkay, you made me want to vomit rainbows and glitter every time I saw you.â
The two of you laugh, faces crinkling shamelessly as the two of you busy yourselves with setting up the table. Most of the food is done and the aroma of fresh onions wafts around your grill. As you place chopsticks on his side of the table, you think about all the times Jungkook made it abundantly clear how much he loved Doyeon: the love letters tucked into her purse, 100 day anniversaries, even just a simple Americano for her in the morning.Â
âIs that why you never hung out with us?âÂ
âNo,â you reply lightly, âDoyeon made it clear that I shouldnât talk to you.âÂ
Jungkook frowns, âYou really donât like each other, do you.âÂ
You shrug, âJust always been like that,â you quirk a smile when Jungkook places the freshly cooked meat on top of your rice before serving himself.Â
âSo whatâs the plan?âÂ
âWe go to the wedding, make out a little, get Doyeon boiling. Even if sheâs not interested in you, sheâd still be upset knowing we are together.âÂ
âAnd why is that?âÂ
âBecause itâs me,â you grin into your glass, staring at a water-stained Jungkook through the blue tinted glass. âAnd all you have to do, is enjoy your night and look pretty.âÂ
His eyes crinkle, chopsticks pressing between his lips. âYou think I look pretty?âÂ
With a roll of eyes you donât respond, preferring to dig your chopsticks in your rice. No need to inflate Jungkookâs ego too soon.Â
Pinning the main theme of your hangout to the side, the both of you dig into your meal. You throw conversation back and forth like pebbles, grains of sand that build and build until youâre caught up with each otherâs lives. It feels so strange to admit itâs been two years since youâve spoken to the man, and all of a sudden the once luscious meat feels dry in your mouth.Â
âJeon,â you put your chopsticks down, âare you sure you want to do this with me? I mean, I know itâs all my fault and I dragged you into it. Donât feel obligated to agree to this.âÂ
âIâm a hundred-percent sure,â he doesnât stop eating, shoving two spoonfuls of rice in his mouth. His cheeks puff up considerably, and your eyes trail down to his neck as he swallows, âI wouldnât be here if I didnât wanna.âÂ
âRight,â you donât need a big explanation or a personal confession from Jungkook, just his consent. âPartners, Jeon?â you hold up your glass.Â
âPartners,â he agrees easily. The smile on his face disarms you, a full-fledged grin decked with pearly whites. Clicking his glass to yours he adds, âAnd itâs Jungkook, babe.âÂ
Oh, this is going to be interesting.Â
Seokjin thinks the two of you are the most boring fake-couple.Â
His eyes dart back and forth between your spot on the couch and his desk, where Jungkook is currently seated. Seokjin is hovered over Jungkook, whoâs typing and clicking furiously over his PC game. Youâre on your phone, feet pulled up to the coffee table while some old Netflix movie plays in the background. To top it all off both of you didnât even try to dress like itâs daytime, nearly matching in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. It doesnât look like a couple coming to visit Seokin, it looks like Jungkook is playing video games with Seokjin while his cousin hangs around like she owns the place.Â
âShouldnât you guys like, I donât know, go on dates or something?â Seokjin feels like heâs talking to the air. âMaybe get to know each other before the big day?âÂ
Pulling your phone down to your lap and Jungkook taking off his headphones, the two of you shrug at each other, âNo, weâre good.â Jungkook says.Â
âWe know enough,â you agree cooly, âJungkook likes Valorant.âÂ
âI do like Valorant.âÂ
âHe likes pork belly.â
âI do like pork belly.âÂ
âHeâs ripped as hell.âÂ
âI am ripped as hell.âÂ
âOkay but have you guys kissed yet?â Seokjin interjects, probably compensating for the nonchalance in the room with his own brand of freaking out. You two only see each other when youâre hanging out at Seokjinâs apartment, and while heâs happy that you two arenât doing the whole 9-yards and creating an elaborate scheme, the both of you are almost too relaxed. His anxiety is spiking.
âYes,â Jungkook answers, âat the barbeque place we went to.âÂ
âIt was nice," you tack on, "Jin, we got this. Don't worry."Â
"How can I not worry when you're trying to upset our cousin on her wedding day?" he's sweating in his fully air-conditioned apartment. âI get that sheâs the devilâs spawn and everything, but sheâs still a human being.âÂ
âIn second grade she pushed me on the treadmill because I was going too slow. I got caught on the roller and got a bald spot for two months.âÂ
âOkay yes one bad exampleââÂ
âAnd in senior year she accused me of plagiarizing her essay just because we chose the same topic. I almost didnât get into college!â Seokjin sighs, crossing his arms. All valid points, and arguing with you isnât a route he wants to take. âJin, the point is that sheâs constantly pushing my buttons. Iâve always been the bigger person and now that Iâm old and confident I just want one jab.â
âThatâs valid,â Jungkook pipes up, pressing the spacebar a few times, âI want a jab too, she cheated on me.âÂ
âSee? Itâs a mutual decision.âÂ
Seokjin asks, âWhy arenât you more worried about this?â
"Because Doyeon isn't going to chew me out on her wedding day," you checked your aunt's seating chart last week and you are far, far away from the bridal table. "We're just going to show off a little bit. Get drunk, eat some bomb steak. Break up in three months or less.â
"You don't have to just convince Doyeon, it's your entire family! Not to mention you also have to go to the bachelor party!"Â
"Oh I almost forgot," you reach under the couch for your laptop, "Jungkook, in two weekends from now we're flying to Las Vegas for the bachelor party and wedding. I'll buy your ticket now."Â
"Thanks, babe!â Jungkook sends a cheeky grin to Seokjin, who is unimpressed. âSee? I remember to call her babe.âÂ
âAlright, get out of my house,â Seokjin tugs Jungkook away from his computer, causing the younger man to swivel around in his plush gaming chair.Â
Jungkook frowns at the monitor, âBut Iâm still bronze one. Iâm aiming for silver one by this weekend.âÂ
âDonât care. As much as I donât like this plan, Iâm not letting you two slip-up.â Seokjin pulls out his phone, revealing Doyeonâs Instagram story, âDoyeon and Namjoon are at the mall buying swimsuits for Vegas. Go to the mall and âaccidentallyâ run into them.â
You sit up straight, tilting your head to the side. âThatâs not a bad idea, actually,â you bound over to grab your jacket, giving Seokjin a big fat kiss on his cheek, âThanks Jinnie, do you know youâreââ
âIâm your favorite cousin. Yeah whatever, bye.â He waves you off, plopping in his own chair so he can enjoy his games in peace.Â
âIâm driving,â Jungkook declares, swiping your keys from Seokjinâs opal dish.Â
âOh, hell no,â you jump on your tippy toes to reach Jungkookâs grasp on your keys, but heâs so freakishly tall thereâs no way you can reach. âI drive my car!âÂ
âIâve always wanted to drive your car back then,â Jungkook cooes, leaning in so your noses touch. âCâmon, you can trust me.âÂ
âYou two are gross already,â Seokjin admonishes from the other side of the room, âsee, itâs working!âÂ
Poking his cheek so he gives you some space, you whip your head to hide the flush that burns on your cheeks. âFine, but if you crash youâre buying me a new one.âÂ
âTheyâre over there,â you hiss between the racks, shuffling between the plastic hangers to point to Doyeon and Namjoon at the womenâs section of the store. They look disgustingly adorable together, with Doyeon pointedly telling Namjoon which swimsuit suits his stature better while Namjoon nods along and goes with whatever she says. You crouch down lower, fearing Namjoonâs tall frame would catch you. âNow we just gotta act all couple-y and theyâll notice us. Or maybe we can walk over to them? What do you wanna do?âÂ
âDo you think we should get matching swimsuits?â Jungkook pays no mind to your sleuthing, holding up a red pair of swim trunks to his thighs, âwe could pretend to be sexy lifeguards.âÂ
You tilt your head away from the pair, only because Jungkook has been genuinely interested in this store since youâve arrived. Putting a hand under your chin, you scrutinize the dark red cutoff shorts. âTheyâre cute,â you nod appreciatively, âItâll make your thighs look thick.âÂ
Jungkookâs grip on his hanger lowers, and he regards you with dark eyes. âYou think my thighs look thick?â he asks, leaning in and putting one hand on the curve of your waist. His fingers dance on the surface of bare skin between your top and jeans, and while youâve agreed beforehand that you two could touch each other wherever in public, it still surprises you when gooseflesh rises to the surface.
âEasy there, tiger,â you chuckle, putting a hand on his chest to stop his sudden bout of flirting. âIâm just stating the facts, we get it. You lift.âÂ
âYouâre so cute when you try to put your guard up,â heâs brushing noses with you now, and you feel the plastic of the hanger crumple pathetically between you two as the gap closes further. âBut you canât hide from me.â
And just as his lips move to press against yours, a shrill âJungkook!â echoes throughout the large store.
You nearly flop over the boardshorts rack if not for Jungkookâs arms secured around your waist. Oh right, you think dumbly, this is all for show. Doyeon and Namjoon are right in front of you, purchases already made and looking at you two in curiosity. Well, Namjoon is definitely curious, because you know for a fact that Doyeon speaks very little of you to him and youâve only conversed with him a handful of times. Doyeon on the other hand, looks a little stiff in the grin.Â
âHello to you too,â you remark to Doyeon, whoâs barely acknowledged you. You reach over to squeeze Namjoonâs arm, âHi Joonie,â you crinkle your eyes, and you fight back a squeal when he smiles back with dimples. Doyeon has such a cute fiancĂŠ, and if youâre keeping score heâs way too good for her.Â
Doyeonâs eyes glaze over to where youâve touched Namjoon, and she links her arms with his. âWhat a coincidence, you two are buying swimsuits where weâre buying swimsuits.âÂ
âWell, thereâs only one mall in this town and weâre going on the same trip in two weeks,â you reply blandly, and you feel Jungkook pinch your side. âOh, Namjoon. Have you met my boyfriend Jungkook?â
âCanât say that I have,â Namjoon reaches over to clasp Jungkookâs hand, ânice to meet you, man.âÂ
While Namjoon and Jungkook exchange small talk, you pointedly ignore the waves of negativity Doyeon sends your way in favor of observing the two large men. Namjoon just said it was nice to meet him, therefore he has no clue who Jungkook is. Interesting, considering Doyeon two-timed in favor of Namjoon. It gets you a little antsy, and you wonder if Namjoon is faking this whole interaction or if Doyeon is hiding something.Â
âBaby,â Jungkook rests a hand on your shoulder, regarding you with concern, âyou spaced out there, are you okay?âÂ
âSheâs like that, Jungkookie,â Jungkook gently presses your shoulders down, blocking your view of Doyeon as she regards your not-boyfriend as Jungkookie. âMy cousinâs a bit of an airhead,â her tone is sweet and jesting, the backhanded jab going right above Namjoonâs head.Â
âIâm just hungry,â you say, forcing a tight-lipped smile.Â
âWell, thatâs perfect,â Namjoon clasps his hands together, âYeonie and I were just about to go grab some dinner. Why donât you join us?â
Doyeon and you both reply immediately, âThat really isnât necessaryââÂ
âNonsense,â you donât even have the heart to be upset at Namjoon because he looks so damn genuine, âItâs been two years and I havenât even bought you a meal, y/n. After all, weâre going to be family at the end of the month.âÂ
âRight,â you answer reluctantly.Â
âWeâre gonna make reservations at the Cheesecake Factory,â he pulls out his phone, ready to make a call, âbut you and Jungkook can finish shopping, okay? The wait will be a little long but by the time youâre done our table should be ready.âÂ
You and Jungkook wave off Doyeon and Namjoon as they make their way to the restaurant. Your hand is caught in the air by Jungkook, who regards you with worry in his eyes. âI wasnât kidding when I said you looked spaced out,â he says, âtell me what you were really thinking.âÂ
Subconsciously, you squeeze his palm for comfort. âI donât know, it just feels weird knowing Namjoon doesnât seem to know you at all. Normally Doyeon loves to talk shit about her exes.âÂ
Jungkook scoffs easily, âI mean, if sheâs marrying the guy Iâm sure she doesnât want to let him know the details of how they ended up together.âÂ
âTrue,â you decide to let it go, and follow Jungkook to the register to pay for his swim trunks.Â
âSo,â the little âdingâ of the register opens up the money box, and Jungkook quickly hands the clerk his cash, âweâre having dinner with them after this?âÂ
âOnly if you want to.â
âWe need to, right?â Jungkook thanks the clerk, holding the bag in one hand and threading his fingers through yours as you head out the store.Â
âWell, do you want to?â you ask again. Jungkook stops the two of you on the sidewalk. It isnât a fast stop, but a slow down that makes his walk a little more thicker, more deliberate as he trudges you down the lane. You move in front of him, clutching your hands between his. âAre you okay? You barely even acknowledged Doyeon.âÂ
âIâm fine,â you flinch at his harsh tone, and he immediately moves to remedy it by squeezing your hand back. âIâm sorry. Itâs just been awhile and Iâm definitely over her but,â he bows his head, feeling embarrassed, âshe hurt me, you know?âÂ
Going into this is definitely one of the more selfish plans youâve put your mind to. Your heart pangs thinking about what must be going through everytime he sees her. If heâs reminded about all the good times they shared, or how much heâs over thought every single conversation heâs had with her up until this point.
âOf course,â you completely understand, knowing from the beginning that this whole mess would end up with some dicey feelings someway or another. âIâm just thankful you chose to stick by me. And we can talk about it if youâre comfortable,â both of you being victims of Doyeonâs brand of torture, you hope the two of you can at least be friends after all of this is over, âwe donât have to go have dinner with them.âÂ
âBut, Namjoon got us a tableââÂ
âNamjoon will be fine. We can always have dinner with him another time,â you smile softly, âwhat matters is that youâre okay.âÂ
His gaze melts, and you feel his grip loosen in your hold. He regards you with weak eyes, betraying the confidence he held himself to moments before. âThanks, y/n,â he says, âI really appreciate that.âÂ
âAnytime,â you reply honestly. âWe can go to Cheesecake and order to-go. I can make some excuse about how my stomach hurts and that we should do a raincheck.âÂ
âSounds good.âÂ
âDo you wanna eat at one of our places or eat at the park or something?â youâre already pulling up your phone, checking out the menu. âWe could invite Jin too.âÂ
âThe park sounds nice,â neither of you acknowledge the fact that youâre not inviting Seokjin, and for some reason thatâs okay.
âYeah,â you agree simply, âthe weatherâs beautiful.âÂ
Under any normal circumstances, you wouldâve been friends with someone like Jeon Jungkook, easily. A little part of you wishes that you couldâve met Jungkook first, but Doyeon has better connections than you and always had a good crowd around despite her inner motivations. No awkward exchange happens when you suggest to Jungkook to eat together. Even though youâre not technically dating, the two of you know that eating together is better than eating alone.
And you have to admit Jungkookâs great company. The two of you drive to a reserve nearby, overlooking a tiny lake. Instead of a fancy Italian tablecloth the two of you move your car seats down and set a spare picnic blanket in the trunk. Instead of a candlelit dinner the two of you find some emergency electric tealights in the glove compartment, lighting it up between you two as you dig into your to-go boxes.Â
Youâre a little envious that so much time has passed by. You couldâve been a little sneakier and made a better effort to communicate with Jungkook when you saw him regularly at family parties, and maybe you two would have a better friendship today. Nevertheless, the two of you mesh like peanut butter and jelly, exchanging conversation that has your cheeks sore from smiling too hard.Â
By the time you get to dessert, the moon is out and the stars are floating above your heads. The two of you are at war, fighting with your forks over the last strawberry in your cheesecake slice. After some careful stabbing Jungkook manages to nab it with his fork.Â
He almost puts it in his mouth, but instead swipes up some whipped cream to press the last strawberry to your lips.Â
âI think itâs working,â Jungkook says randomly as you chew the sweet fruit, âyou could see it on Doyeonâs face today. Sheâs unsettled.âÂ
âYeah,â you agree, lying down on the lavender gingham picnic blanket.Â
âDo you know why she fights with you all the time?âÂ
âThatâs a question Iâve been asking myself since the dawn of time.â
âI think I know why.â Jungkook looks down at you with his large doe eyes, licking innocently on a spoon of whipped cream.Â
âPray tell.âÂ
âSheâs jealous of you.âÂ
âNo,â you disagree easily, âsheâs jealous that I have you.âÂ
âBzzt! Wrong,â Jungkook puts his empty container in your makeshift trash can, falling beside you and knitting his hands under his head. You have a little window on the roof of your car, so both of you are able to stare at the navy sky, âsheâs always been jealous of you. Think about it. The two of you have similar lifestyles: same career path, confidence, taste, education. But even after all of that? People still like you more.âÂ
You scoff, hands immediately reaching to fiddle with the frayed corner of fabric next to your fingers. âI donât think so.âÂ
âIâve met all of Doyeonâs friends,â he informs you, âtheyâre weird. Like yeah, they care about each other on the surface level. But theyâre nothing of substance. Theyâre not like your friends.âÂ
âPlease, Doyeon has everything she could ever want,â you donât know what kind of complex you have supporting Doyeonâs life, but something deep and insecure wants to separate you two as far away from each other as possible. âLike⌠sheâs Malibu Barbie and Iâm Polly Pocket.âÂ
Jungkook turns to face you, resting his head between his palm and leaning on his elbow. âDo you not think youâre beautiful?âÂ
âYeah, but compared to DoyeonââÂ
âYouâve always been beautiful to me, donât you know that?â
You choke on your saliva, feeling small and skittish at the implication behind his words. Itâs been two years. Youâve only been friends for two weeks. How can he possibly say that?Â
âI uh, saw you once,â Jungkook coughs, and you watch the way his pale cheeks unmatch the moon and instead flit to a crimson hue, âwe were at some party and you were wearing this really cute black dress with a white bow in the middle. Doesnât even matter what party because it was random, yâknow? I was gonna go talk to you but Doyeon got to me first and well, the rest is history.â He breaks eye contact with you, unable to handle it.Â
You remember that party, vaguely. It was random, some sort of poetry slam in a shady part of town. Doyeon and you didnât even go with each other, you were with Taehyung and she just happened to stumble in there from another nearby party. You didnât even know Jungkook was there that night, or how you were a hair's breadth away from meeting him before Doyeon.Â
âDonât ever think youâre lesser than her just because out of all the people she chose to pick on, she chose you. Itâs why she never lets you get to know her boyfriends. Sheâs threatened by you because youâre just as special,â something low sparks in your chest at his words, âand now that youâve finally decided to stoop to her level and fight back with a taste of her own medicine, she doesnât know what to do.âÂ
Feeling like your body is on a beach and youâre sinking in sand, you soften over your picnic blanket, mulling it over. âDid I make the right choice? Stooping down to her level.â Your voice is quiet, comparable to the chirping birds and buzzing gnats outside.Â
âWe wonât know until after the wedding,â Jungkook answers honestly, âbut I do know Iâm sticking with you until the end. Weâre friends now, got that? You have no excuse to ignore me anymore.âÂ
You donât want to ignore Jungkook, never in a million years. Now you know that you are envious of Doyeon, for having an opportunity to love and care for an amazing person like him. So in a sudden bout of emotion, you roll over to straddle Jungkookâs waist.Â
Heâs shocked, hands flying to your waist to make sure you donât wobble off. But youâre determined, and lean down to press your lips against his. He tastes like cheesecake and strawberries, the taste melding with your own as you relish in the feeling of his soft lips against yours. You melt a little when he squeaks, breaking into a soft moan as he reciprocates the gesture. Heâs warm and large and he makes you feel safe. Once your brain returns to your body, you break for air. You only pull back a few centimeters, and thereâs no way for you to get off because Jungkook has locked you in place.Â
âWhat was that for?â he asks breathlessly.Â
âDonât know,â youâre whispering against his lips, unable to pull away, âjust felt like we needed a little more practice.âÂ
He blinks, before relaxing in a silly smile. âI agree,â he says simply, dipping you on your back so he can be on top the second time around.Â
âWeâre in Vegas, baby!âÂ
Every single terrible comedy movie set in Las Vegas has brought you to this very moment. Youâve always wanted to say that line. Dumping your luggage next to Jungkookâs, you flop on the nearest mattress. Thank goodness you only wore leggings and a t-shirt on the flight, itâs the optimal sleeping outfit after a long day. Feeling something hard and plastic dig into your brain, you hold up the culprit and squeal excitedly. âLook, Kook!â you wave the crinkly confection in your hands, âthey put mints on the pillows!âÂ
Despite your room being a square with two queen beds, the hotel does not skimp on quality. The decor is ornate, the white and gold trim on the doorknobs and metal appliances shimmering beautifully. The beds feel like clouds, as you try to imagine what a cloud could possibly feel like, this is it.Â
Jungkook immediately follows suit, ripping off his outer clothes until heâs left in his undershirt and boxers, flopping next to you on the mattress. He immediately opens his mouth when you shoot a mint, catching it easily. âI feel like weâre in a deleted scene of Crazy Rich Asians,â he says, letting the hard mint clink around his teeth, âis this the part where you tell me your family comes from old money and Iâm gonna be your sugar baby?âÂ
âDonât be so hopeful,â you narrow your eyes, booping his button nose with your finger.Â
âIâm just saying, the first class flight threw me off.âÂ
You giggle, slapping his chest, âNo. If that was true, we wouldnât be sharing a room with my cousin. Sorry you have to share the bed with me, I got the hotel with Jin and he doesnât want to sleep with you.â
âSâokay,â Jungkook replies softly, leaning closer to make grabby hands at you, âyouâre softer.âÂ
Tentatively, you scooch over so you can lean on Jungkookâs chest. You two have a little time before Doyeon and Namjoonâs combined bachelor and bachelorette party. The past two weeks have been niceâscratch that, the past two weeks with Jungkook have been wonderful. You never cared to measure how much time passed before meeting him, but now that youâve begun fake-dating, time is the only thing you regard. Youâre already beginning to miss him, knowing that in a week, this whole arrangement will be over.
Well, not exactly over. Jungkook says youâll remain friends after this, but you donât really want that. You want more, and it scares you to think he may not feel the same.Â
But right now youâre snuggling like an old couple, sleeping comfortably between pillow-like sheets and minty breath. Your pretend boyfriend, now your pretend boyfriend with benefits, looks soft and huggable and you want to bottle up this moment forever. You say benefits because, well, the cuddling is an added bonus. Practice practice practice, Jungkook sing songs the words you used that one night under the stars, excuses to seal his lips to your lips. Youâll never argue with that. So when Jungkookâs hand tightens around your waist and pulls you closer, you relent.Â
One second, youâre closing your eyes and the next, youâre waking up to Seokinâs wide eyes staring back at you.Â
âEep, you creepo!â you shriek, scrambling away from him. Thatâs when you realize Jungkookâs missing from bed, the scent of his laundry detergent lingering between the eggshell Egyptian cotton.Â
âJungkookâs in the shower,â Seokjin immediately reads your mind, pulling away so he can unpack his luggage. âMy flight just got in two hours ago, you both were out like a light when I arrived.â
âUgh, Iâm really not ready to party.âÂ
âDoyeon just texted the family group chat. She reserved the rooftop, the party starts in an hour,â he talks mindlessly, rifling through his stuff. Seokjin is fiddling with his clothes, despite the fact that you know Seokjin prepares his outfits days in advance so he doesnât have to choose. He looks concerned, pulling out a flamingo pink boardshort and setting it down on his mattress. Finally he says, âIâm worried about you.âÂ
âWhy?âÂ
âBecause. Itâs clear that youâre starting to fall for Jungkook.âÂ
The words strike you straight in the place youâre trying to avoid. Youâve been living in a fantasy these past two weeks, thinly veiled by the whole reason you two are together in the first place. Doyeonâs wedding is just around the corner, and what then?Â
âIâm not saying that he doesnât feel anything for you either,â that gets your heart skipping a beat, and you secretly hold a hand to your chest under the blankets, âbut do you really want to start off a relationship like this? A relationship all messy and morally objective because itâs built on revenge?âÂ
âDonât worry about me,â the words easily fall from your lips, âI can take care of this.âÂ
âI hate it when you say that,â the words are curt and harsh against Seokjinâs plush lips, âIâm allowed to worry about you, y/n. You know why? Because, because youâre my favorite cousin too,â he bites his lip, walking over so he sits on your side of the bed. âSo donât tell me what I can and canât worry about. I want you to be happy, I want you to stop holding in this anger you have for Doyeon and move on.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â you whisper, leaning over to press your cheek against Seokjinâs shoulder. âYouâre right.âÂ
âFor the first time in a long time, youâve finally decided to lean on someone,â and both of you know who that someone is. âI donât want you to lose him over some petty family issue. You should tell him how you feel.âÂ
âI will,â you wrap your arms around your cousinâs slim waist in a silent thanks.Â
âAm I interrupting a tender family moment?âÂ
The two of you pull away to stare at Jungkook, leaning against the doorframe that leads to the bathroom. Heâs in a plain white t-shirt and the red board shorts that you bought at the mall, cutting off mid-thigh and revealing the bulky muscle underneath. You were right, the shorts do make his thighs look thick.Â
Seokjin groans exaggeratedly. âYes, yes you did.âÂ
Jungkook immediately goes to replace Seokjinâs spot, and some stray droplets fall fresh from the shower due to his slicked-back hair. âDo you wanna get ready? First partyâs soon.âÂ
âNot really,â you admit, âyouâre gonna meet the family all over again.âÂ
âSecond timeâs the charm,â he winked, âIâve already met your parents and everything. Not feeling nervous at all.âÂ
âOh, really?âÂ
âReally,â and the facade cools down a little, âwell, maybe a little nervous for your Aunt Lillian. Her stares give me the heebie-jeebies.âÂ
âDonât worry, Iâll protect you from Aunt Lillian.âÂ
âGod the two of you get worse every day,â Seokjin has magically changed into his shorts, tucking himself into the bed, âdonât wake me up until we pre-game.âÂ
Doyeon and Namjoon donât skimp on the festivities, although in taste the ideas are Doyeonâs in its entirety. Itâs lavish and colorful, with a beautiful infinity pool in the middle decorated with lavender and pink headlights. Thereâs a buffet table overflowing with tasty food. Thereâs petal pink champagne overflowing from fountains, decorated with fresh strawberries bobbing around the fizzy drink.Â
âI donât know,â Namjoon and Jungkook have been talking for well over an hour, and itâs clear how well they mesh together. Heck, youâve accepted that Jungkook may like Namjoon more than he likes you. Jungkookâs eyes sparkle as Namjoon discusses the various genres of rap and hip-hop music, explaining the potency of mature themes in a young community, âbut I will say music is like another language, knows no boundaries when it comes to sending their messages to others.âÂ
You fight the urge to chuckle when Jungkook sighs dreamily at the music theory professor. âWow, thatâs so deep.âÂ
Getting up from your cabana, you nudge Seokjin, whoâs currently flirting it up with one of Doyeonâs bridesmaids. âHey, wanna get a drink?â you ask, throwing your wrap on the cushions to reveal your strappy red bikini.Â
âAnd chicken tenders,â Seokjin presses a kiss to the bridesmaidâs cheek, bidding her goodbye as he follows you out of the shaded area.Â
âDo you two lovebirds want anything?â you stare pointedly at Namjoon and Jungkook. While Namjoonâs eyes stay in contact with you, you canât help but smile a little more when Jungkook has a hard time keeping his gaze in one place.Â
âI think weâre fine,â Namjoon answers for both of them, swirling his beer bottle. âIâll meet you two at the bar once Iâm done.âÂ
âSure thing,â Seokjin puts a hand on your back to lead you to one of the open bars. As much as you like being in a handsome hotel with money to burn, nothing beats the fact that your entire family is here to celebrate. The elders have corroborated two cabanas for poker and other games, while your younger cousins are playing ping pong and air hockey on the other side.Â
âNamjoon sure is a dreamboat,â Seokjin bemoans, handing you an electric orange drink. You take a sip of it, and bug out when you realize it tastes nothing like alcohol. Youâre definitely in for a night. âLike I can hear him wax music thingamajib any day.âÂ
âI thought you were into that bridesmaid.âÂ
âA mere diversion,â he sighs, leaning his tanned arms against the bar, âcanât ignore the deep voice Namjoon has, itâs intoxicating.âÂ
âIâm sure Jungkook would agree,â you egg on.Â
âWhat are you two talking about?â you straighten up when the man of the hour shows up at the bar, absolutely glowing under the sunset. He orders a round for the three of you, and you immediately chug your own drink to get to the next one.Â
âTalking about how youâre stealing Jungkook away from me,â you joke, accepting another fruity drink from Namjoon. Damn, this stuff tastes like candy.Â
âOh, never,â Namjoon replies brightly, waving the thought away, âdo you see the way he looks at you? Hopelessly in love.âÂ
Maybe itâs the copious amounts of alcohol, but you feel your stomach flip-flop at the thought of love. Youâve always known what love felt like, the warmth of Namjoonâs cheeks whenever he sees Doyeon, when your mom takes care of you when youâre sick, when Seokjin makes sure youâre not emotionally constipated 24/7. But the thought of Jungkook and you in love? Itâs a feeling you secretly yearn for.Â
âRight? Itâs disgusting,â Seokjin groans with an eye roll, âlike, Jungkook wasnât like that with Doyeon at all when they were together.âÂ
The slip up has the three of you choking on your own thoughts, staring at each other like the three have just been told youâre on a prank show. But it is no prank, and you look at Seokjin whoâs absolutely horrified.Â
âOh shit,â he squeaks, looking at Namjoon guiltily, âdid I say something I shouldnât have said?âÂ
âI donât know,â Namjoon replies coolly, âdid you?âÂ
The ominous response gets you going, and you quickly place a hand on Namjoonâs arm, placating him. âThey dated, yes. But it was only for a short time and weâve sorted everything out. Nothing for you to worry about.âÂ
âOh,â Namjoon quirks his head, and regards you two with pursed lips. âIâm not one of those guys who freak out over other peopleâs exes. Iâm just surprised that Iâve only heard this now,â Namjoon takes a slow sip of his drink, and despite your drink also being cold and refreshing, youâre absolutely sweating.Â
âWell, Iâm sure Doyeon didnât want to worry you.â
At the mention of his future wife, he beams. âYouâre right, sheâs considerate like that,â and the conversation ends just like that. He holds up his drink to the two of you, and you and Seokjin do the same. With a sharp clink he leaves you two to mull, happily conversing with the next round of guests he needs to entertain for the week.Â
âThat guy is too nice for his own good,â you shake your head, asking the bartender for your third drink within ten minutes.Â
Seokjin leans over you and warbles, âSo youâre telling me that Namjoon has no idea that Doyeon cheated on Jungkook in order to date him?â heâs sweating just like you are, following suit to your actions and asking to make his drink a double.Â
âI donât know,â you bite your lip, your teeth worrying the dark skin, âIâve been thinking about it for a while though. I just donât want to get involved, you know?âÂ
âBut this is different!âÂ
âBut Doyeonâs family!âÂ
âAnd all of a sudden you care about Doyeonâs feelings?â Seokjin gripes back, âitâs not about Doyeon, itâs about the both of them. And if we know something that Namjoon doesnât, wouldnât it be in our best interests to warn him before he seals a marriage deal that costs him over a zillion dollars?â he gestures to the extravagant wedding party.Â
âBut we donât even have any proof thatâs the case,â you frown, âDoyeon could have changedâa little, not a lotâsince meeting Namjoon, maybe she thinks itâs best to reveal as little as possible.âÂ
Seokjin wonders what kind of family he has. One as chaotic as his takes a lot to stomach, and Seokjin likes to pride himself in his strong appetite. âFine, letâs just keep a close eye on both of them this week. And if anything remotely fishy happens, we strike.âÂ
âDeal.âÂ
You return to the cabana alone, with a plate of fries for both you and Jungkook. Jungkook is also alone, laying on the lounge chair with his eyes closed. It gives you a chance to ogle your fake-boyfriend a little bit, reveling in the sight of his toned body.Â
Setting down your plate with a sharp rap of the glass, Jungkook opens one eye. âHey,â he smiles, drinking in your muted expression, âyou okay?â
Damn Jungkook for being able to read you so well. âI think so. Itâs nothing, really.âÂ
âWell, will you tell me if itâs something?âÂ
âYeah, I will.âÂ
âSo, I do have something to tell you though.â Jungkook sits up, regarding you wearily. âCan you⌠stand in front of me?â Confused, you shove a fry in your mouth and walk up to him as directed, your back blocking the entrance as you stand in front of him. âOkay, come closer. Now bend down,â you bend your back 90 degrees, and he presses a hand to your shoulder to stop you, âno, no. With your breasts out, just a littleâthere! Arch your back. Like youâre doing the Sorority Squat.âÂ
âExcuse meââÂ
âThe music isnât even that loud,â he mutters to himself, âno one would need to push their boobs in my face to hear me.âÂ
âJungkook, is someone pressing boobs to your face?âÂ
âWhy,â he breaks into a playful grin, âjealous?â
âNot if itâs Aunt Lillian.âÂ
âUnfortunately it wasnât,â he twiddles with the drawstrings of his shorts. âIt was Doyeon.âÂ
Doyeon? She didnât walk by your cabana all day. Heck, she barely greeted you when you arrived with Jungkook. But when Jungkookâs alone is when she decides to pounce? And with what motive?Â
âI donât know,â heâs rambling to himself, âmaybe Iâm overthinking it. It was only half a second.âÂ
âJungkook, I have something to tell you,â you say instead, panic in your features.Â
âIs it something urgent?âÂ
âWell, no butââÂ
âThen tell me when we get back to the room,â Jungkook easily pulls you onto his lap, and you instantly heat up when you feel your bare butt press against Jungkookâs golden thighs. âLike you said, weâre in Vegas. Letâs have fun while we can.âÂ
âOkay,â you tuck your head between his neck and collarbone, reaching to press a kiss to his smooth jawline.Â
Relaxing against the plush lounge chair Jungkook feeds you fries while talking about the things he wants to do this week. Itâs his first time in Vegas and he wants to make the most of it. He wants to visit all the buffets he sees on Buzzfeed compilations, relax at the pool, maybe catch a show. The thought of spending all week with him and your family is nice, and suddenly you donât feel so awkward sitting on his lap, and eventually he pulls you between his thighs so you can lay on his chest.Â
âAnd between you and me,â he fake whispers against the shell of your ear, as if heâs telling you the biggest secret, âweâre the hottest couple here.âÂ
The next three days leading up to the wedding are relatively uninteresting.Â
Uninteresting in the best way possible. On Monday you and Jungkook spend time with your little cousins, taking them to The Adventuredome, one of the resort's indoor theme parks. On Tuesday you and Jungkook go shopping at the outlet malls with your parents, blowing hundreds of dollars on cheap Levis that have your luggage bursting with a new wardrobe. In between all of that Seokjin and occasionally Namjoon joins you two in your buffet journey, hitting up the top spots and filling your tummies to the brim with delicious food.Â
On Wednesday, Jungkook brandishes two gold-foiled tickets in front of you, waving them around like a fan. With one finger, he pushes away your PokĂŠmon battle, âI got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,â he announces proudly, âwaited in line for an hour.â
You gape, scrambling off of your bed and throwing your Nintendo Switch to the side. âJungkook,â you marvel, âthese are so expensive. Howâd you manage to get a show for tonight?âÂ
He shrugs, âLooked around.âÂ
âYouâve been impulse buying a lot this week,â you tease, âlike really, you donât need three pairs of the same ripped jeans.â
âThis wasnât an impulse buy,â he says, âIâve been looking around for shows. Just managed to pick them up today, so go get dressed for our date.â
Did Jungkook just call it a date? Giddy with excitement you throw the covers off, running into the bathroom to get ready. What a surprise, you didnât think Jungkook would be into spontaneous things like this.Â
Seokjin left the bathroom open, so when you walk in the room it is steamy and warm. Your dear cousin is still in the shower, probably waiting for his conditioner to pass three minutes of set-in time.Â
âWhat are you getting ready for?â Seokjin asks over the rain shower.
âKook got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,â you chirp happily, looking through your skin care products.Â
âI wanna come!âÂ
âNope! Jungkook called it a date.âÂ
âOh, a date,â Seokjin drawls, putting his head under the water to rinse his hair clean. âWell then, should I vacate the room for tonight?âÂ
âWhat, no!â youâve closed the door, so thankfully Jungkook canât hear you talking about him. âWeâre not doing anything. Weâre just two friends who are fake-dating going on a date.âÂ
âSounds like a real date, though,â Seokjin wraps a towel around himself to cover all his important bits before getting out of the shower, bumping elbows with you so he can brush his teeth. âEither way, Iâll be gone tonight. Itâs my turn to watch the baby cousins. Donât have too much fun while I'm in their room watching Despicable Me for the millionth time.âÂ
âWeâll be sure to stop by with some pizza or something,â you tease, a little wiggle in your hips when you vacate the bathroom.Â
By the time you and Jungkook are ready, you two are dressed impeccably. Jungkook is wearing one of the ripped black jeans he bought on Tuesday, combined with a white button up and black blazer. A classic outfit with a little bit of Jungkook-themed flair. And to Jungkookâs surprise, youâre wearing the dress that he first saw you in, all those years ago. Youâve gained a little weight since college, but you still fill out the little black dress beautifully, the little white bow in the middle adding a simple yet adorable touch. It took a little sleuthing and searching through your old college clothes, but you were determined to find it when Jungkook reminded you how much you love the design.Â
Clearly from the way Jungkook is currently gaping at you like a bloated fish, he loves it too.Â
The show is beautiful and colorful, leaving you speechless and in tears by the end of it. Jungkook lets you hold his hand the entire time, feeling a bout of anxiety anytime the acrobats fall gracefully despite the large height.Â
Overall, it was a wonderful show, paired with your equally enamouring date. Itâs getting harder and harder to distinguish whatâs fake and whatâs real in your heart, and throughout the night youâre sorely reminded that you should tell Jungkook how you feel.Â
But by the time you get to the room your parents are calling you, asking to get their suit and dresses out of the car so hotel service can do a last minute press and dry clean.Â
âIâll be back,â you say to Jungkook, âI need to go get their clothes out of the car. Theyâre always so forgetful.âÂ
âWant me to come?â he offers, hand shying away from inserting the keycard in.Â
âNo, Iâll only be fifteen minutes, tops.â
âSo I guess this is this the part where I get a goodnight kiss?â he asks cheekily, leaning on his heels so his tall frame reaches yours. You donât hesitate to give a short peck to his pretty pink lips. He pouts at the brevity, âthat was too quick.âÂ
âGo inside,â you insist, âthe sooner you get ready for bed the sooner I can get ready for bed.âÂ
âThen more kisses?âÂ
âThen more kisses.âÂ
Jungkook breaks into an all-teeth smile, unable to control himself when he dips down and steals a longer, more lingering kiss to your lips. âI had a great time tonight,â he says, mimicking every single teenage rom-com protagonist whoâs deeply in love with the popular jock. âDonât take too long, okay?âÂ
You nod, pushing him inside, âCâmon, if you stopped talking Iâd be back by now!âÂ
Once the door closes shut, you let yourself do a little dance in the hallway, wiggling your butt and giving yourself a mini-celebration. You quickly text your group chat that you just came back from the Cirque show.
Jimin: what, a date with your fake date?
Hobi: jeon jungcock? đđ
Jimin: whaaaaaattttt. Uâve gotta have sat in his lap at least. 3 times since youâve started this ting
Hobi: iâve heard things in collegeâŚÂ
Taehyung: u are all gross and i hate uÂ
Taehyung: but so am i bc im very curiousÂ
Just as youâre about to send a heated reply, the elevator dings, revealing a pissed off Doyeon. Sheâs bare-faced, in a fluffy lilac bath robe and matching puff ball slippers. You slip in right beside her, making sure thereâs a comfortable amount of space between you two.Â
âYouâre going to the parking garage too?â you ask, eyes lingering on the lit button.Â
âYeah,â sheâs looking at her phone, a few stray hairs from her mahogany bun falling onto her forehead, âAunt Lillian left her medication in the car. I donât know why she has to send me, Iâm busy getting married.âÂ
âMy parents left their formal clothes in the car,â you shrug, âyou know, my parents and Aunt Lillian share the same brain cell. Gotta help them out once in a while.â Â
The icy silence in the elevator is probably the calmest you and Doyeon have been since youâve announced your relationship status with Jungkook. You fight the sigh, opting to take out your phone and open some unread messages.Â
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: hurry up, the bedâs cold without uÂ
You: lool, why do u look constipatedÂ
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: because i am, hurry up. Im bringing ur switch to the toilet and playing on your profileÂ
You: JEON WAIT YAMPERS AT 5HP GO TO THE POKEMON CENTER U HEATHEN
You tilt your head a centimeter, feeling Doyeon breathing down your neck like Puff the Magic Dragon. You look at her with wide eyes. Her long, slender neck manages to snake its way next to your head, âCan I help you?â you ask amusedly, clutching your phone to your chest.Â
âAre you two really together?â she asks, batting her lashes. All this week sheâs left you alone, and youâve been wondering when sheâs going to make herself known. Itâs a little self-absorbed you have to admit, but ever since Namjoonâs ignorance to Doyeonâs previous relationship, youâve been on edge.Â
âOf course we are,â you spit back, âI love him.âÂ
And you must be very convincing, because Doyeonâs gaze falters just a fraction. You glare at her, staking your claim. Ever since Jungkook told you the reason Doyeon hates you is because sheâs jealous, youâve started to feel a bit of sympathy for her. Doyeon is beautiful and smart, she has no reason to feel this way. But the brain holds fickle thoughts sometimes, bringing darkness to the mind.Â
âHe loved me first,â she bites back, lifting her chin.Â
âAnd why do you care?â you laugh tonelessly. The elevator dings open, and youâre met with the open air and concrete of the parking garage. âHe may have loved you first, but heâll love me last.âÂ
You leave the elevator first, a little pep in your step as you make your way to the rental car to gather your parentâs things. While the words you uttered are white in nature and may not hold any sort of weight to them, it manages to bring Doyeon to her knees, absolutely quaking in the elevator.Â
Youâre tasting revenge, and itâs sweet.Â
âOkay, you need to leave,â Seokjin pulls away the shot glass from your lips, âI didnât spend days planning the itinerary for you to mess it up. Bridal party in Doyeonâs suite and the groomâs party in Namjoonâs parents suite.âÂ
âThatâs dumb,â you chastise, crossing your arms, âweâre all meeting at the same club at 10. Why canât we pre-party together?âÂ
âBecause itâs tradition!âÂ
âScrew tradition,â you stumble on your heels as you purse your lips at Jungkook, âKook, when we get married I donât wanna do a whole boy-and-girl party. Weâre equals, right?âÂ
âOf course, baby,â he cooes, being careful not to smudge your makeup when he presses his lips to the crown of your head. âBut for the sake of Seokjinâs sanity, you should probably go to Doyeonâs. Itâll only be an hour or two.âÂ
You gasp exaggeratedly at the blatant betrayal. He only grins cheekily in response, dipping down to press a wet kiss to your cheek. âFine,â you cross your arms, snatching back your drink from Seokjinâs grasp to knock it down.Â
Leaving the bachelor pre-party pains you considerably. Theyâre having such a good time joking around the suite, telling each other fun stories and relaxing in chairs as they watch TV. This is your kind of crowd, not to mention that you can peacefully check out Jungkookâs ass in those tight dress pants without any crazy club lights distorting your vision.
From past family party experience you already have a feeling whatâs coming for you in the ladiesâ suite.Â
Loud music pours from Doyeonâs suite, and itâs completely unlocked. The bridal party is raving, ten seconds away from being completely drunk and immobile. The lights are being manually shut on and off like some sort of cheap rager, and you have to tell Yoojung to tone it down before you get a seizure.Â
The stench of acidic drinks and the tang of alcoholic air is palpable, and instead of a shot you opt for a glass of peach champagne to slow you down.Â
As you walk deeper into the suite, you notice a crowd forming by the balcony. Tapping your cousin Nari on the shoulder, you regard her with a hug and kiss. âWhatâs going on over there?â you ask, heels not helping you see any better.Â
Nariâs all blushy and pink, hiccuping as she gestures to the balcony. âHer maid of honor got Doyeon a very special gift!âÂ
Managing to weave through the women blocking your view, you fight the urge to gag when you have a clear view of the scene in front of you.
You really donât understand the purpose of bachelor and bachelorette parties. âOne night to be single all over again!â they all say, even though theyâre not actually single? Like why does the couple suddenly get one night of forgiveness when youâve already spent years being in a committed relationship?Â
Why is it okay that Doyeonâs dry humping a stripper on the balcony? Her white silk dress is ruched dangerously high, soon close to flashing her family. Aunties and friends and the like are cheering her on, and she flips her head perfectly to all the phones shoved in their faces, making sure to get the perfect angle.Â
Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you turn back in the hopes that your other family members would be willing to have a good old-fashioned tip back with you.Â
You squeal when your hands accidentally land on a bare, oiled chest. You look up, mortified at the large man covered in black harnesses. âHey babe, Iâm Wonho,â he says, faking a sultry gaze as he looks at you up and down, âyouâre part of the bridal party too? Wanna dance?âÂ
Feeling naked, you push past him, careful not to get anything on your dress. Wonho? Wonno.
Jungkook loves your family.Â
(Except Doyeon.)
As much as he told you not to worry about him, and heâll be completely fine when he meets your family, he couldnât help be a little wary on the flight over. After all, itâs been two years and he didnât know how things would be different.Â
Chaoticism and all, your family is a thing to be cherished. Even though Yoongi has been on mood swings that make Jungkook question his sanity from time to time, and Seokjin is secretly breathing down Jungkookâs back every time he so glances at you, he thinks things are right where they should be. Â
But despite all that they regarded him with familiarity, hugged and kissed him like old friends, something is different. Theyâve turned over a new page for him. They donât bring up Doyeon. They ask about his family, his job, his life in the city. They ask about how you and Jungkook met, and how happy they are for you. How happy they are for him.
Oh, how he wishes everything could be different. In another world, you two would already be together.Â
He wasnât lying back at the cabana when he said you two are the hottest couple at the resort, including the bridal party (but donât tell Namjoon). You look absolutely stunning in your sparkly red dress, accentuating all the right parts and lighting up the whole room.Â
When he finds you in the club youâre sitting down with your Aunties, keeping the elders company while the younger ones are flagging down the bartenders. He thinks itâs cute, how well you fit in between them, coddling you like youâre still a child in their eyes.Â
âDear, your boyfriend is here!â your one Aunt yells over the loud EDM.
You lift your head up quickly, giving him the prettiest smile. Your teeth glow purple under the neon lights, and he fights the urge to laugh when he holds out a hand. âMind if I steal her from you?âÂ
âOf course, sheâs gotta live a little!âÂ
You pout, a little wobbly but nevertheless still in the right mind as you shuffle out of the booth to meet his awaiting arms. âHey handsome,â your voice is thick and sweet-smelling, âcome here often?âÂ
âOnly when my girlfriend does,â he replies cheekily, hands immediately coming to your butt to smooth out your dress. He shys a bit when your Aunties hoot and holler at his public display of affection, but all he wants to do was pull the hem down a little bit. No way is he going to let anyone get a flash of your goods.Â
âLetâs dance!â you take your hand in his, leading him to a comfortable corner of the dance floor.Â
Clubs arenât really your scene, aligning with Jungkookâs sentiments towards the loud generic music and terrible smell. But youâre in Vegas, and he feels that itâs all part of the package to experience the nightlife at least once. He puts his hands on your waist and you giggle like youâre in prom, hands coming to rest on the collar of his button down.Â
âHey,â he says with a lopsided smirk, âwanna make out?âÂ
 âSure,â he notices that you donât even check if anyoneâs seeing, and it makes his heart flutter when you donât hesitate to get on your tiptoes to meet him halfway.Â
Heâs always hoped for a moment like this, a moment where the room stops spinning and both your minds click into place. Itâs almost comical, how he distinctly notes that the music fades once his lips touch yours. The kiss is hot, yet intimate. Even though he makes excuses to kiss you all the time because of practice, it goes to show that you two definitely never needed it. Your tiny hands grip the collar of his button down, bringing you two impossibly close despite the hot air. His larger hands grip at the strings that hold your measly dress together, grappling at any excuse to get to your soft skin. The two of you are a natural when it comes to each otherâs intimacy.Â
The two of you pull away, mesmerized. You havenât kissed like that before. He melts under your stare, his thumb reaching to nick off any lip gloss thatâs moved in the process.Â
Seokjin comes down the floor to haul you both by the shoulders, âCâmon lovebirds, theyâre taking wedding shots!âÂ
The two of you follow your cousin to the crowd of people that is your family, already with their own drinks in hand. Doyeon and Namjoon are sitting atop the bar, making a very loud toast that consisted of a quick âthank you!â and âwe love you!â before downing their drinks with their arms linked together. The room is thrumming with excitement for tomorrowâs festivities, and surprisingly, you and Jungkook included. He tucks himself in your body like a puzzle piece, hugging you from behind while he watches Namjoonâs eyes sparkle with love under the neons.Â
The nightclub gets a little blurry after that, with the copious amounts of alcohol and shameless actions from your family and friends. By the time itâs twelve Jungkook notices you swaying at a rate that you canât handle. He knows your limits and knows when you have to urge to pee every five minutes, itâs time to go. With a chaste kiss you leave him at the bar, deciding to make a pitstop to the bathroom before telling Jungkook you want to head up.
Youâre locked in a stall when you hear Yoojungâs voice.Â
âUgh,â she groans, voice echoing through the tiny room. âJungkook is so sexy. Do you see the way heâs dancing out there? Heâs a literal babe magnet, I canât believe he ended up with someone like y/n.âÂ
You donât move a muscle, pressing your ear against the door that hides you. The silly slander isnât news to you, Doyeon has been feeding her friends all sorts of bullcrap so they wouldnât bother talking to you.Â
âYeah, Jungkookâs a real treat but he dated Doyeon first. Sounds like sheâs into sloppy seconds,â Elly replies, another bridesmaid youâve met in passing. âBut I donât know, they do look happy together.â
âPlease, Iâm sure Jungkookâs just using her so he can get one more chance at Doyeon before she ties the knot,â you bristle, the thought of Jungkook still having feelings for Doyeon makes your heart thud painfully against your chest, âlike, what a downgrade. Namjoon and Doyeon do not deserve this drama. If Jungkook ever liked Doyeon at all, he wouldnât have come. Period.âÂ
You slam the door open, causing Elly to squeal and Yoojungâs YSL lipstick to fall onto the sink. Youâre the epitome of relaxation, walking towards the sink to wash your hands. The bridesmaids simply stare at you, unable to formulate a comeback. When you finally dry your hands, you say your next words.Â
âJungkook is here because he loves me,â an act act act. This is all an act. You shouldnât be this offended because you know itâs all false. âAnd youâre wrong. Itâs not Jungkook that doesnât deserve Doyeon. Jungkook was too good for Doyeon.âÂ
And you slam your heels against the tile, stilettos pounding to the beat of the music. Your exit is full of anger and frustration as you ignore the burn in your step and the ache in your heart, flagging the first bartender you see to get you a double.Â
Shot for shot, that anger soon melts into guilt as Yoojungâs words sink in. The thought of Jungkook using you to get to Doyeon is terrible, you can barely stomach the thought. But thatâs exactly what youâre doing, right? Youâre using Jungkook to get back at Doyeon.Â
Why did you even want to get back at Doyeon anymore? Why do you have to prove anything to her? If she just continues to push you around, isnât that more on her than it is on you?Â
Jungkook soon finds you after youâve nursed a few drinks, leaning unceremoniously against a barstool. His eyes widen at your state, and he immediately sheds his jacket to wrap it around your waist.Â
âWhy did you drink so much?â he chastises, âitâs the night before the wedding.âÂ
âJungkookie,â you warble, clutching your stomach, âI donât feel so good.âÂ
He sighs, bending down. âGet on my back. Make sure the jacket covers you up, okay?âÂ
He doesnât even grunt when you put all your weight on him, feeling like a ragdoll as he hoists you up. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, letting him carry you to your room. Most of the older family already went upstairs to sleep, so none of your cousins could care less when they see you get hauled away by Jungkook.Â
You inhale, he smells like sweat and cologne. âI like putting my head between your neck,â you babble, and you feel Jungkook chuckle through his chest, âyou smell so nice there. Itâs the bestset! Comfiest place ever, âspecially when mâsleepy.âÂ
âAre you sleepy now, baby?â You love how smooth the petname falls from his lips.Â
âI will be when we get upstairs,â you reply, happy to see the elevator is empty. âIâm just all up in my head.âÂ
âIs that why you were drinking so much? You said you were gonna stop earlier.âÂ
âYeah, but,â you shamefully tuck your head in his shoulder, âI was frustrated.âÂ
âFrustrated? At who?â concern laces his tone as he struggles to hold you with one hand and fumble for his key in the other. You tighten your legs around his slim waist until the door clicks open, and he immediately walks over to your bed to plop you down. âBabe, are you crying?â he finally has a good look at your face, horrified to see the streaks of tears mixed with mascara running down your face.Â
âI wa-was jealous,â you confess tearily, clutching your face in your hands, âsome girls in the bathroom were calling you sexy and that you were only here so you could try to win over Doyeon. I know it sounds ridiculous and you would never do that but. The thought of you getting back with her makes me so jealous and I hate it! Iâm starting to feel so guilty about this, all of this. I put all of this on ourselves and Iâm ruining it.âÂ
âRuining what? Youâre not making any sense.â Jungkook places a hand on your knee, crouching down so he can look up at you.Â
âIâm ruining us,â you gush despondently, âIâm ruining any potential of us before we even start.âÂ
Jungkook freezes, hand clutching your knee like a lifeline. The potential of you two together? Youâve thought of that? Jungkook didnât drink much tonight, so his mind is definitely running on all cogs.Â
Coming to a conclusion, he rubs slow, soothing circles on your knee, his other hand reaching up to wipe the tears from your face. âYouâre not ruining anything,â he declares firmly, âthatâs impossible. I may have agreed to fake-date you because of Doyeon, but I stayed because of you.âÂ
His heart aches seeing you so upset, and he decides to take initiative to get you out of your clothing and ready for bed. You donât have any words, opting to let Jungkook take care of you as you try to calm yourself down. He finds a spare t-shirt, a long one so youâll be comfortable. He doesnât bat an eye when he unzips your dress, in favor of balling up the shirt and getting you clothed as fast as possible. He rifles through the bathroom to find your makeup wipes, and heâs gentle when he scrubs up the once pretty makeup you spent half an hour doing. Barefaced and fresh, you look sleepy and ready to crash.Â
But before Jungkook can tuck you in, you clutch his arm.
âJungkook,â you murmur sleepily, âI think I loââÂ
âI know, baby,â he doesnât want a confession like this, and heâs sure you wouldnât want it either. You still look a little green and youâre not sober, so he makes the executive decision to pin these feelings for later. âIâm not trying to invalidate you, I promise. I want you to tell me this, all of this in the morning. Weâll talk then.â
âOkay,â you melt in the sheets, pulling the blankets up to your chest. When you see Jungkook move away from the bed, you jolt, âWhere are you going?âÂ
Jungkook smiles, reaching over to tuck you back in, âI left my blazer in Namjoonâs room. Iâll be right back, okay?âÂ
He walks out of your room as quietly as he can, making sure to close the door slowly. Once itâs sealed shut, he leaps up, giving himself a silent cheer as he bounds down the hall. You like him back!Â
The smile on his face is tired but full of fervor as he makes his way to Namjoon and Doyeonâs suite. He doesnât even care that he probably has to talk to Doyeon to get his jacket back, thoughts filled with the excitement of his requited feelings and going back to his room to cuddle up with you.Â
He doesnât even have to knock when the large double doors swing open. Dumbfounded, he looks down at Doyeon, wearing a tiny black nightie and dangling his jacket with one finger. Itâs an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination, and he feels his neck heat up at the feeling heâs encroaching on an intimate moment.Â
âYou left this,â she says slowly, a tiny smirk on her lips.Â
âUh, thanks,â he says, making sure not to touch her when he grabs his blazer.Â
In her other hand she holds up her roomâs designated ice bucket. âCould you also get me some ice, please? Namjoonâs fast asleep and I really donât want to walk out all⌠exposed.âÂ
He swallows his sigh, knowing itâs going to take significantly longer to get back to you when Doyeon drawls like this. âOf course,â he replies tersely, âafter all, you are the bride.âÂ
âThanks, Jungkookie.âÂ
He makes quick work of getting Doyeon the ice, pumping his long legs down the hall. The ice room is cold and cramped, barely enough for his tall frame to fit in. He jabs the container in the holder, pressing the button ten times per second to get as much ice out as possible.Â
As soon as he turns around with the ice, he drops the whole bucket.Â
Like glass, it shatters onto the ground, hundreds of little clear pebbles skimming across the floor like marbles. Doyeonâs pushing Jungkook against the ice machine, freshly manicured hands splayed across his chest. Her body is flush against his, making sure that he feels all of her with her thin silk gown.Â
âWhat the fuck, Doyeon get off of me!â a little part of him hopes sheâll come to her senses on her own so he doesnât have to put his hands on her.Â
âCâmon, Kookie,â her voice is a sickly candy sweet, her eyes wide with hunger as she takes in his form, âjust one more night, you and me. Like old times. One more night before I tie the knot.âÂ
âYouâre crazy,â he balks, running his hand through his hair, âthis is sexual harassment, do you know that?âÂ
âYou donât mean that, Kookie,â Doyeon dips a red-tipped nail down his chest, âwhy settle for someone like y/n when Iâm right here?âÂ
He grabs her wrists, firm. She winces at the contact, but doesnât say anything when Jungkook delivers her a scary glare. It gets her quiet, fearful of this version of Jungkook. Doyeonâs never seen Jungkook like this before, so unwilling to bend at her whim and emanating all his power against her.Â
âWhy settle for your cousin?â he whispers like itâs the most obvious thing in the world, âbecause, I love her.âÂ
Her lip curls in disgust, nails digging into the palm of his hand. âBut you loved me first.â
âAnd Iâll love her last,â he spits pack, letting go of her. His anger splits for a brief second, regarding Doyeon with sorrow, âthis is low, even for you.â
Jungkook pushes past the ice, wobbling out of the ice room. He doesnât look back, he just knows that he needs you right now. He needs to tell you everything, figure out a plan to cancel the wedding or something.Â
But when he crashes inside the room, youâre dead asleep. He canât find the courage to wake up Seokjin as well, who returned and is sleeping in his club outfit. He groans, feeling useless as he stares at the two of you, ignorant of what just conspired ten minutes ago.Â
And Namjoon, what is he going to tell Namjoon? Poor guy doesnât deserve any of this.Â
Walking up to your side of the bed, he tucks your loose hair behind your ear. You look so peaceful now, so beautiful.Â
Itâs just going to have to wait until the morning.Â
The morning of the wedding, you wake up alone.Â
The first thought that runs through your head is that Jungkook has rejected you. The little, insecure bug that will never go away in your brain fills you with rash thoughts. Heâs on a flight half way back home and he regrets this whole week.Â
But after that exaggeration, you notice two aspirin and a bottle of water on your nightstand, along with your phone thatâs fully charged.Â
You pull up the screen to check the dozens of messages that flood your app.Â
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: morning babe, im sorry i had to leave early. Namjoon showed up at our door freaking out that his suit is the wrong fit and shade. Now im running around vegas trying to find a replacement that doesnât look like an elvis presley extra
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: but i didnât forget what you said last night, i promise! Just go get ready and iâll meet u at the chapel outside the resort.Â
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: i also have something to say to you
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: wow i didnât realize how ominous that sounds. Dw, everything will be fine
When someone tells you something will be fine, itâs a universal agreement that no, things will not be fine.Â
So you get dressed, and put on your makeup mindlessly. You donât really know what to make of Jungkookâs cryptic message, but you decide to leave those thoughts in the back of your mind as you go to the other rooms to help your family get ready.Â
Seokjin is busy tying the ring bearerâs tie, looking handsome with his slicked back hair and polished grey suit. âMorning, cousin,â he sing-songs, âyou look beautiful today!â
You smooth out your dress, a cascading silver number with starry sparkles. You feel like youâre living out your magical girl fantasies, wrapped up in layers of tulle and a sparkly sweetheart bodice.
âRight back at you. Say, you didnât see Jungkook this morning, did you?âÂ
âNo, but I heard heâs with Namjoon hunting for a new suit. Why?âÂ
âNothing,â you lean against the guest table, âhe just said something really ominous over text.âÂ
âI will never get a peaceful day so long as Iâm in this family,â he says this directly to the ring bearer, a toddler whoâs obviously confused at his uncleâs weird sayings.Â
Your phone beeps conveniently, displaying Jungkookâs name.Â
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: just got his suit. Weâll be there in fifteen. Meet me at the garden behind the chapel, please. Itâs urgentÂ
Now youâre just worried. So you tell Seokjin your sentiments, and that he should have his phone on hand in case you needed him. With a confused nod, you leave him to go down to the garden. Â
The groomsmen and bridesmaids are already at the chapel taking pictures. Only the wedding party is really allowed at this time, but you manage your way through the gardens virtually undetected. Jungkookâs already waiting for you, hiding under a white gazebo overlooking the hotelâs fountain.Â
He looks gorgeous in his all black pinstripe suit, hair pushed back and pants fitted perfectly around his waist and thighs. When he sees you he gets up, full of skittish energy. You note that his hair isnât even styled, only washed and curling slightly at the ends, as if heâs in a rush.
âW-wow,â he marvels when you rush up to him, âyou look gorgeous.âÂ
You drop the handful of silver tulle, letting it fall to the floor. âJungkook,â you clasp his hand in both of his, guilt flooding your eyes. Youâve been thinking about this all morning, and you need to cut to the chase. Jungkook tries to open his mouth but you silence him with a finger on his lips. âI canâtâI canât do this. I know this sounds really stupid and you probably donât want anything to do with me after this, but I shouldnât have made this elaborate scheme,â you bite your lip, feeling even more antsy as Jungkook squirms in his grip. He however, is trying very hard to focus with his eyes, confused at your sudden confession. âI like you, Jungkook. I donât want to parade you around like a revenge plot anymore, it isnât fair and itâs wrong in so many waysââÂ
âThatâs great,â he says simply, brown eyes swirling with thoughts, âum, ditto. Butââ
âWow,â you frown, âI pour my heart out to you and this is what I get?âÂ
âItâs great that you want to be selfless right now,â Jungkook takes your hand, firm and tight, âbut without this elaborate scheme, we wouldnât be saving asses like we are right now.â
âWhat are you talking about?â You thought Jungkook rushed you down here so you could talk about each otherâs feelings before the wedding.Â
âDoyeon just threw herself on me last night. I got her ice and she took that as an invitation to seduce me like an episode of Sex and the City. Namjoon needs to divorce her, like yesterday.âÂ
Your face then morphs into something dark and ugly, and you fling your whole confession out the window. The thought of Doyeon going as far as throwing herself on Jungkook as a last ditch attempt to get back at you, has you seeing blood red. âWhat? Why didnât you tell me this sooner!â
âYou were asleep!â he shoots back, putting his hands on your shoulders. He rubs warm strokes up and down your bare arms, âplease relax. Youâre shaking.âÂ
âAnd why didnât you tell Namjoon when you were driving around all morning?â
âI tried to!â he retorts, hands swinging in the air. You huff when his hands land back on your shoulders, preventing you from running to the chapel to extract Doyeon out yourself, âbut he just kept talking shit about how much he loves Doyeon and he canât imagine being together with anyone but her and I felt so bad! Iâm sorry I chickened out. I really donât wanna be the one to break Namjoonâs heart. Iâm just the plus one!âÂ
You pinch your brows, mulling it over. âFuck it, letâs crash a wedding,â you declare, âwhereâs Namjoon and how can we get him alone?âÂ
Jungkook exhales, a hand carding up to loosen his thin silver tie. âHeâs taking pictures with the groomsmen right now. Itâs gonna be awhile before we get a chance to talk.âÂ
âFuck,â you curse, sitting down on the white bench. Jungkook presses soothing circles on your back. âWe have no choice, we have to get to him before the ceremony starts.âÂ
âYouâll have to get through me, first.âÂ
Doyeonâs not even in her wedding dress when she strides up to the two of you. Sheâs in ballet flats with her hair and makeup done, but the only thing sheâs wearing is the thin underdress of her actual ball gown, a simple silk negligee that reaches her ankles. You donât even know how sheâs managed to escape the bridal party, especially without her dress.Â
Feeling protective, you step in front of Jungkook. âBefore you say anything,â you murmur, âIâm not ruining your wedding, and I never wanted to. Youâre ruining it because of your mistakes.âÂ
âOh, boo-hoo,â Doyeon rolls her eyes, playing with her nails, âI didnât even do anything wrong, everyone knows that on the bacheloretteâs night she can do whatever she wants. Namjoon couldâve fucked whoever too if he wasnât so faithful.âÂ
âNamjoon is ten times the partner you are and would never do that,â Youâre seeing red, unable to comprehend the complete garbage spilling from Doyeonâs lips. âYou touched my boyfriend without his consent, and I will never forgive you for that,â your voice is scarlet, angry and thin.Â
âItâs not like he isnât used to it, Iââ
âNO!â the sound that comes out of your mouth has all three of you flinching, and youâre thankful the gazebo is far enough so that the rest of the wedding party is oblivious to your actions. âYouâre not allowed to justify yourself anymore, Doyeon. What you did was fucked up, what youâve done to all of us is fucked up!â You realize now that you didnât need to get back at Doyeon with a fake date, what you needed was this. You needed a reprieve, a chance to lay down your law. âJungkook was right all along. You are jealous. Youâre jealous and selfish and have no shame. You think you own whatever you set your eyes on, but youâre wrong. Weâre not objects, weâre people.âÂ
You walk up to Doyeon, eye to eye. You jab a hand at her chest, pushing her back slightly. You soak up your cousinâs expression, and you watch as Doyeonâs eyes pop out in surprise at your act of boldness. âSo you have a choice here. You can either swallow your pride and leave Namjoon at the aisle quietly and save whatever dignity you have left. Take your pathetic ass on the next flight back home and pack up your apartment. Or, we can start a big scene at your ceremony,â you probably look manic, filled with freshly injected power, âI know Seokinâs always wanted to yell âI object!â at a wedding.âÂ
âYou have no proof,â Doyeon glares right back, taking a step closer to you. Your noses are practically touching, but you dig your heels in the white-stained wood, puffing up your chest and standing your ground.Â
âDoesnât matter,â you bite back, âwhat matters is that Namjoon will doubt you. Namjoon knows weâd never do anything to sabotage a wedding without a valid reason. Even if you do get married tonight, we have Jungkookâs word and proof of a relationship that overlaps with his. I find this option to be far worse because itâs prolonging the inevitable,â you shrug, âI hope you two didnât sign a prenup.â Â
Hot, angry tears mess up her meticulously done makeup. Black rivers carve through her porcelain skin, showing the feelings that have been dormant since been hidden under a facade. Doyeonâs eyes dart back and forth between the two of you. Sheâs practically vibrating in combined fear and rage, seeing blurry images and memories and regrets of what couldâve been if not for her self-absorption. And finally, your cousin comes to a decision.Â
âI hate you,â she emphasizes each word with the most concentrated of venoms in her tone. WIth one last look at the two of you, she stomps away. Instead of going to the direction of the chapel however, she takes the shortcut back to the hotel.Â
Her grave words are unsurprising, but nevertheless disappointing. A thinly veiled smile grazes your lips, sadder than ever as you watch your cousin go. âAnd I pity you.âÂ
As soon as sheâs gone Jungkook doesnât hesitate to scoop you up, hugging you tightly as you fight the urge to cry again. âOh babe, that was really hot. The way you stood your ground? That was amazing!â Jungkook takes out his silver pocket square to wipe the stray tears that threaten to ruin your makeup. âYouâre so strong, donât you know that? You did it and Iâm so proud of you.âÂ
As much as you want to revel in the affection, go back and bed and fall asleep until noon, you canât. Grasping Jungkook by the hand, you tug him to the chapel. âCâmon,â you say, âwe have to corner Namjoon.â
The groomsmen photos are done by the time you get there. Thankfully, the to-be-groom doesnât look too occupied. His eyes widen upon seeing you two stumble from the garden of all places.
âOh, y/n. Jungkook,â Namjoon tilts his head curiously at how winded you two look, equally flushed and out of breath. From your state, Namjoon muses that it must've taken a lot of effort to finally get to the groom unattended, save for a few random family members heâs making small talk with, âThe wedding isnât for another hour but I must say, you two look radiant together. Doyeon always thought youâd end up an old spinster-catlady, but I always told her that youâre too beautiful to be single for long,â he pauses to send the aforementioned man a wink, âJungkookâs a lucky guy. What were you two doing back there?â
âUh, things?â Jungkook scratches the back of his head, not wanting to reiterate the fiasco between Doyeon moments before.
Namjoon smirks at the ebony-haired man, âCouple things?â Â
You canât take this needless small talk anymore. With a teary groan, you throw yourself at Namjoon. You hug him tight, and you donât even care when you feel a slosh of his water bottle sprinkle your hairstyle.Â
âJoonie,â you bemoan, âplease, please donât leave me. Youâre the best not-cousin ever. I know itâll be a pain to face Doyeon after today but youâre a strong independent man and when youâre ready Jin is single and ready to mingleâow! Jungkook! Did you just pinch my ass?âÂ
âDo you really think setting him up with the next cousin is the best idea right now?â
âI figured a little humor would lighten the blow,â you sulk.
âIâm sorry whatâwhat blow?â Namjoon frowns, pushing you away from him. âY/n, have you been crying?âÂ
The tears resurface at that moment, like a kettle on overboil. Namjoonâs face is knitted together, unable to grasp at any conclusion. Namjoon feels something grave is upon the sky as he tenderly brushes away your tears with his thumbs before releasing you. Instantly Jungkook pulls you to his chest, patting you soothingly. As much as you two do not want to be the bearer of bad news, the time is now.Â
âNamjoon,â Jungkook says, finding the strength that was previously stuck in his throat, âwe have to tell you something.âÂ
Needless to say, Las Vegas is very forgiving when it comes to last minute wedding cancellations.Â
The whole wedding party, both Namjoon and yours, collectively feels like a whole ice bucket has been dumped upon your families. You would like to say that the whole issue was handled mess free, but that would be a bald-faced lie.Â
There was screaming, crying, hysterical laughter from all sides. Doyeonâs parents were of course furious, embarrassed, unable to calm down a hysterical Doyeon as they haul her on the next flight home. You have a feeling they wonât be showing up to family events anytime soon.Â
Namjoonâs family leaves quietly, frustrated, but classy. After all, they know at the back of their heads they dodged a bullet. Everyone leaves except Namjoon however, who isnât quite ready to go back to his and Doyeonâs apartment. Namjoon invites Seokjin and some other close cousins to stay in his suite until their flight tomorrow afternoon, wanting to be surrounded by close friends and (almost) family.Â
As for your family, they decide to find the silver lining. While the chapel was able to cancel the wedding, the reception wasnât as easy to sway. At the very last second, your grandparents decided to make use of the reception and renew their Golden Anniversary vows instead. The ceremony will be a quick, sweet affair. At this very moment, your cousin Yoongi is getting officiated online.Â
And for you? Youâre in the place where youâve wanted to remain all week. A fluffy hotel bed wrapped up with your not-boyfriend.Â
Or?Â
Would a not-boyfriend be snuggling against your chest like youâre the softest teddy bear in the toy shop? Would a not-boyfriend be hooking your leg atop his lap, forcing you to latch onto him so his hands can roam freely against your soft thighs?Â
âWe have to get ready for the wedding,â you whine against his hold, to no avail when he only holds you tighter.Â
âBut your grandparents are already married,â Jungkook whines right back, nuzzling his nose in your head. âThis is like an afterparty fifty years later.âÂ
âI wanna get dressed,â you insist, pushing yourself up, âand we still need to talk.âÂ
Without Seokjin staying with you, the hotel room feels much bigger and freer for the two of you. Your clothes are scattered on the floor, uncaring of any wrinkles or smears that would get on the delicate fabric.Â
All that matters is that Jungkook is still here with you. Doyeonâs wedding is called off, but heâs still lying in bed with you. You want to burn this image to memory, and keep it forever. Jungkook laying in only his white undershirt and boxers, looking at you dreamily as if heâs still in nap-mode. Hair that was previously windswept and exposing his forehead is now out of place, fluffy and sticking out in all directions. His cheeks are flushed with coral-colored warmth, and a little puffy because you two have been sleeping most of the afternoon.Â
âRight, talk,â he repeats, letting you hand him his black button up so he can clothe himself.Â
You throw off your shirt somewhere behind you, not wanting to face him as you walk to the full-length mirror. âSo, I think my feelings for you are pretty clear and out in the openâŚâÂ
âSame, I think I made it pretty clear as well.âÂ
âWhat? You turn around, looking at where heâs still half-covered in bed. âYou did not. I distinctly remember almost confessing my love to you last night. And then this morning, only for you to cut me off and say âthatâs greatâ.âÂ
âOh,â he stares at the white sheets that cover his lower half. âI guess I didnât then.âÂ
You smile wryly, turning back to face the mirror so you can slip into your dress thatâs been pooled around your ankles like a silver halo. âMaybe you thought it in your mind and forgot to tell me.âÂ
That seems about right. Jungkook has a tendency to be a little too passionate for his own good, windswept in thoughts and feelings until they consume him. He hops out of bed, walking only in his dress shirt and socks as he makes his way to the mirror. âThen let me do all the talking,â he says softly against your neck, hands on your hips.Â
You shiver when you feel the cold silver of the zipper whirr up your body, Jungkookâs large hands splaying across your back to smooth out the waistline.Â
âYou of all people would know that being with Doyeon is a trip,â he chuckles into the crook of your neck, âI thought that was what love felt like. Being codependent, jumping through hurdles, trying so hard to please someone who canât be pleased.âÂ
Jungkookâs hands wrap around your waist, hugging you tightly. He squeezes you and holds you like the most precious thing in the entire world. Through the mirror, you two are quite a pair.Â
âBut with you, I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.âÂ
âSo⌠are you saying you love me?â you fight the urge to bounce around in his grip, the biggest smile on your face. Â
âYou really just want me to say âI love youâ and be done with it, huh?âÂ
Within seconds heâs pulling you from behind, whirling you around to the edge of the bed. He manages to flouce up your skirts to billow around his lap, sitting you down on his bare thighs.Â
âYou look like a cupcake, all sprawled up like this,â Jungkook says cutely, peppering kisses in a trail from your chest all the way to your lips. âYou look like a huge, silvery cupcake and I love you. Itâs so easy to love you.âÂ
Maybe it was kismet that Jungkook didnât get to you first all those years ago. Maybe the right time is right here, right now.Â
âI love you, too,â you say happily, dipping down to press a long, passionate kiss to his lips. He tastes like love and a happy future. When you pull away, you encapsulate his face in both your palms, regarding him like the sun and stars. âBut you know, if we date youâll never get away from my crazy family.âÂ
Jungkook snorts, pressing his forehead to yours, âAnd miss Yoongi re-marrying off your grandparents tonight, the next year of Seokjin and Namjoon running circles around each other, and a lifetime of happiness?â his hands snake under your dress, finding purchase in your soft skin, ânot a chance.âÂ
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