#it just sends me into a depression spiral ❤️❤️

[tgshydestan]

life has become so much better after blocking everyone who doesnt like the glass scientists. like genuinely. like whenever somebody even says something mildly bad about my special interest my entire day is ruined /srs like even if theyre just like “i dont really like tgs but i respect it if you do <33” with all the love and sincerity in the world it makes me feel more emotion than i felt upon receiving the news my grandma died. so ive just started blocking everyone who doesnt like it and my quality of life has gone up so much

[astrologylunadream]

Messages From Your Soulmate!💌🍂🎀 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi, it's Lunadream🩷 In this reading you will find messages from your soulmate, what they want to tell you~✨️💭 So your soulmate can be the person that is meant for you, feel free to interpret any way you like! hope you find your message🧡

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your soulmate, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍂🩷💌

Pile 1🎸

Pile 2🍂

Pile 3✨️

Pile 4🍁

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🩷

Pile 1🎸

Sign energy: Innocence, Spiral, Therapy, April, Even, Chiron, Virgo, Fire, Sagittarius, Aquarius,🎣🏃‍♀️✉️👈

🧡Your soulmate's energy: First of all this person is the sweetest! Their energy is just so soft and bright.😭 My pile 1's your soulmate is has a very pure soul and also a very innocent mind.💭 This soulmate is kind and loving, I'm also hearing fragile. They could have a sensitive side, they feel like a therapist because their energy is so caring and helpful.🥺🩷 The envolope emoji is definitely confirmation that this person wants to send you a message, haha. Some of you may know this person from online or a community, they could be going through something similar to you right now or have the same emotional wounds/sensitivities as you.🫂🎀 Your soulmate has a loving and nurturing energy towards you, they energetically feel any pain or difficulties you have and whenever you feel down. This person could have Virgo, Sagittarius, or Aquarius placements, Chiron in Aquarius or Virgo, Also fire energy is present here. April may be a significant time for your soulmate, maybe that is your meeting time or someone's birthday.🎂 This person is light hearted and enjoyable, it feels like you and this person are in similar situations or stage of life. Like if you're starting college or job, they are on the same page.🎓💼 This person watches you from a distance and wants to help you and be by your side, It is possible that this soulmate is going to be a coworker or someone you collaborate with.🤝 They have a bright smile that can cure depression I'm hearing, and this soulmate is a very healing connection for my pile 1's.☺️💞 It feels like you and this person have shared experiences, or part of the same community. Maybe they felt surpressed or unable to fit into certain expectations. Your soulmate is a free-thinker and you are both very like-minded. No wonder this is your soulmate because it feels like you are meant come together and heal eachother!🫶❤️‍🩹

💌Messages from them: Far away, Trial and error, Role, Hair, Follower, Water, Neptune, 5th house, Capricorn, Vertex, I wish I could control anything, Don't be so sad, It makes me nervous, I feel your pain, Your soul is mine, I like you, I understand you, You have so much worth,🤚✔️😫👇

Ohh okay so your soulmate wants you to know that they are far away right now, but they will do anything to follow you😢❤️ They want to play a role in your love life, and bring you the love and attention you deserve.👑💋 They want you to stay strong, they are taking steps to get where they need to be for you. It feels like this person is working hard on themselves right now, they want to be successful and able to provide and support you.💼💰 Your soulmate wants you to know they are going to give you everything, also they hope you won't waste your energy and time falling into obsession with every detail of your future spouse or into romantic connections that may not be realistic or true. They want you to know THEY are the real deal, a serious solid lover and not a one sided or half hearted relationship.👤🚫 Wow, your soulmate is possessive over you and wants to tell you that you don't deserve to be neglected or give your energy away with nothing in return, this energy is kinda ticked off tbh like that really bothers your soulmate. So they really hope you won't give in to toxic connections that aren't giving you any love or care.💔 Your soulmate wants to let you know that your pain is their pain and they hate seeing you upset, they want to be available to you right now.😭 Also another message is that your soulmate wants to let you know that your hair/head is very attractive.🩷✨️ They want you to know that they will inevitably find their way to you despite all the obstacles and trials. They're lightly complaining about how they wish they could take care of you and make things easier on you🥺💞 They feel a strong sense of responsibility to make sure you are okay and taken care of, they wish they could fill the care-taker role for you, like help you with your schedule and cook for you even🍵🍳 Your soulmate wants you to be confident in their existence, like "Yes pile 1 your perfect person is out there working hard to come to you", they don't want you to lose hope or overthink things but instead happily accept their promise and energy and let everything fall into place!💌 They are genuinely loving and attentive to you pile 1!

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🤗🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the guitar emoji~🎸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍁🩷

Pile 2🍂

Sign energy: Fight, Role, Mermaid, Jawbone, Children, 4th house, Cancer, Taurus, Vertex, 9th house,🔒🥇👗⛺️

🧡Your soulmate's energy: Aw this is cute! Your soulmate is really caring and comforting, especially for your inner-child🧸 They are very family-oriented and fiercely protective, like they would fight anyone who hurts their loved ones.😢🥊 Their jaw and neck are very attractive and noticable, also their voice is soothing and sweet. My pile 2's your soulmate is such a softie but strong, they're like a gentle giant on the inside!🥰💞 Also they have such a siren energy and vibe to them, they could have red hair like Ariel❤️ For those who this soulmate is a feminine, they wear beautiful dresses, also whether a feminine or a masculine they may often wear soft huggable clothes. This person is just so sweet I love their energy😭 They would make a great spouse or parent, they are very caring towards you like you're their baby. Their placements could be Cancer, Taurus, or Sagittarius, it's very likely for them to have 4th house placements. Your soulmate plays a crucial role in your home life, for some this could be someone who has lived overseas or is a foreigner settling down in a new country.🏠💕🛫 Family is extremely important to your soulmate, you will have a strong bond with this person. Also! Your soulmate literally gives the best hugs, the most comforting and loving cuddles😩🫂 You may meet them in their home country or abroad, but for some in your neighborhood. They will feel familiar to you, like you have known them forever. They have a good amount of feminine energy which makes them so caring and loving🩷 It's very likely that a lot of you in this pile will start a family with this person, even have children for some. But overall this person's energy just feels like home to you, I'm also hearing "number one dad/mom" that may resonate for some. Your soulmate may be someone you really want to tie the knot with, they're also someone really committed and devoted to their spouse or family💍👑 Your soulmate is definitely giving "trophy husband/wife" lol, I love how they're both extremely kind and gentle but they also have a fiery rougher side that comes out when them or their loved ones are theatened in any way.🔪🔥 Your soulmate may like the color blue, and interested in other countries and cultures. They are extremely caring and sweet to you.😫🩷

💌Messages from them: Career, First, Aura, Believe, Fishing, 8th house, Earth, South node, Fire, Pluto, Whatever, This is interesting, You make me blush, I want to hurt you so good, There's no chance, I want to surprise you, Your energy is so youthful, Kiss me and don't stop,🕺🪽🛸🎢

Alright so I was surprised by the suggestive energy that sort of popped out of nowhere lmao I guess that's what your soulmate means by wanting to surprise you😳❤️‍🔥 I wasn't expecting such passionate energy from them, they have a lot of romantic feelings and attraction towards you. They want you to feel their intensity and love for you, like they can't hide it omg. Your soulmate seems like the type to openly express their romantic/sensual thoughts and feelings for you🙈💋 I think they would be whispering sweet nothings to you right now, that's a lot of their messages honestly. I'm trying to keep this pile light, but your soulmate is real naughty😭 They also want to tell you that they're obsessed with you, haha also they're kind of a troublemaker like they are such a tease in a cute way.😜🌟 I think it's interesting that "career first" came out, I think they're trying to say either you or them need to focus on their stability and professions right now before coming together 🔜💼 I'm hearing "this is what I need to do", they want to make a solid foundation for you, this could also be because they want to move in with you and they feel like they need to have the means for that. Also this sounds hilarious but your soulmate wishes they could just abduct you like an alien and bring you into their life instantly😂😭 Lmao this person will definitely make you laugh, they're so funny. They really do want you with them right now, but they know they still have responsibilities to take care of at this time before they can finally have you💐 Your soulmate wants to properly shift into a stable and secure earthly energy before you are divinely united, they want to tell you that their life is like a rollercoaster and is too chaotic right now🎢🔥😬 They feel like they're not capable enough to have you. They want you to feel their loving energy and believe in them, believe that fate will bring them to you. Maybe they also feel like their energy may be too intense for you right now, and they need to raise their vibrations to meet your standard😊🩷 Your soulmate wants you to know that they are preparing themselves for you, becoming their best self to present to you. They might be coming sooner than you think, because they feel a little impatient to be with you.😅 But they're resisting impulsiveness in order to make sure they are right for you.💍

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🤗🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the fallen leaves emoji~🍂 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍁🩷

Pile 3✨️

Sign energy: Lovesick, More, Sarcasm, Cinderella, Options, Air, Fire, 7th house, Uranus, 1st house,✔️🫂🟨👩‍🔬

🧡Your soulmate's energy: Ah so interesting, your soulmate is uniquely beautiful☀️ The second you meet them you will notice how they aren't quite like anyone else, something about them definitely stands out.🤭🩷 For some reason I'm getting that a lot of people may be envious or out to get this person, their individuality makes others on the fence. Your soulmate is experimental and they may not have a set ideal type. Your soulmate is very innovative especially in their relationships, oh you know they might be a fire or air moon🌙 Libra or Aquarius placements, Aries, 1st house aspects, their energy has a lot of duality. They can be feminine or masculine, wild or tame, dreamy or realistic depending on the time or mood. Your soulmate has a lot of contacts and close relationships, I'm also seeing lots of options romantically take that however it fits. Blue and yellow are significant colors for them, maybe those could be favorite colors💛🌊 I feel like this soulmate doesn't like fitting into gender roles/labels, they desire something new and different💡💭 This pile could either go two ways, for the first half of you, this person is a hopeless romantic and Impulsive with finding love/suitors❤️‍🔥🔍 For others are the complete opposite and maybe stopped caring about love and relationships because they don't want to feel constrained and vulnerable.💍🚫 Now I am seeing the duality of the terms "hopeless romantic" and "hopeless romantic" if you know what I mean☹️💔 This person may have tried several dating apps or hoped to find the one but none of the options clicked with them. Your soulmate may be very disappointed or even disgusted by love, I'm hearing "I want something more" that could be their thoughts on love🥀 For some of you this person may look like a player or like they have a lot of suitors, but they just roll their eyes because they can't feel any spark with those people. They feel like they still haven't found the one, their soulmate, which is pile 3🥰 I'm hearing this person is not settling for something dull, they want to find a real passionate and unique romance that lights up their world🩷✨️

💌Messages from them: Mouth, Legs, Taste, Vent, Friendly, Eros, Moon, Vertex, Aquarius, Pluto, I wish I could control it, Think of me, I'm stuck with you, It's not me, You have a future ahead of you, I love the way you dress Your fantasies are unreasonable, I wanna take you down,🧎‍♂️🙏🏍🧩

Okay this is interesting, I actually forgot to mention a lot of you may start out as friends with your soulmate, but there is a really strong energy of friends with benefits.😳 Honestly for some of my pile 3's your person is a freak and they can't hide it, they might even try to stay in the friendzone for their sake or yours.😭💋 So anyway, your soulmate has many messages for you, in a way that they kinda want to vent to you right now lmao. Your soulmate would tell you they're on their knees praying for you to walk into their life.🙏🩷 And this is your soulmate but not necessarily your next partner, so they're honestly afraid because they feel like they have no control over your fate and they don't know for certain if you will choose them or fall for someone else💔 Their heart is pouring out from their words my pile 3's they wish you were with them right now. I almost said future spouse lol but yeah your soulmate is being very open with you about how possessive and insecure they are feeling because they aren't yours.😰💌 I think this person might not know you two are meant to be, they want to hold on to you tight pile 3. This person is afraid of losing you (or never having you) tbh too they get really turned on by you but they can't control it they just feel so attracted to you.❤️‍🔥😫 This may get in the way of your friendship at the beginning of this connection, so they try to hide it. Your soulmate hopes you will think of them as more than a friend, also they wanna tell you that you always dress really nice🫦👀 I think mainly it feels like your soulmate wants to rid of the buddy-buddy energy between you both, they don't like acting friendly to you and want to be closer to you in a more intimate romantic way🫢♨️ So that's what they want you to know, maybe they're afraid of you seeing them as a friend when you meet them or of you've already seen them that way. They also feel like you have strange requirements in love but they want you to know they can fulfill those unlike anyone else.🫣💌 They want to tell you they're your perfect match, I'm thinking "match your speed" however that resonates. Your soulmate also wants you to know how much they care about you and that you bring them the most comfort.🫂🩷 I'm hearing "You are my missing piece"😢💖

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🤗🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sparkle emoji~✨️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍂🩷

Pile 4🍁

Sign energy: Childhood, Affect, Gold, Unafraid, Trauma, Uranus, 2nd house, Earth, Mercury, Sagittarius,📿⛸️🎤🟪

⚠️Note: Brief mentions of verbal mistreatment, proceed with caution!

🧡Your soulmate's energy: Okay this pile may be a little sensitive topic, but your soulmate may have some childhood trauma.☹️ Especially verbal abuse or being treated differently, your soulmate may have felt like an outcast.💔 I think this affected their self worth and caused them to feel like they lack value in some way, so this person tries to accommodate by becoming more beautiful, richer, smarter, ect. I am definitely seeing your soulmate rising above those who looked down on them, and their current energy is now stable and successful.✨️ They don't let anyone bring them down, and now they have very strong boundaries and high standards. Your soulmate is unique and may be from another culture/religion than you, for some they may have converted to a different religion from what they were raised in. Ice skating may be significant, also they may be a public speaker, singer, or lecturer and they are quite financially stable in their career.💼💰💸 Your soulmate has such a grounded energy, like no one can affect them because they are so strong and successful.👏 Your soulmate wears jewelry or luxury items like watches, handbags, earrings, fancy stuff. Purple is a significant color here, your soulmate could definitely be rich. My pile 4's soulmate has an inspiring life story, like their life could be made into a movie lol.🎥🎞 They have such a fancy vibe about them, also a nice voice. This person could be an online beauty influencer for some, but I'm also seeing that as this person definitely loves online shopping.👜🏷 Signs for them could be Aquarius, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, also placements like uranus in 2nd house, mercury in earth signs or sagittarius, uranus in sagittarius, chiron conjunct mercury or uranus. Omg pile 4 your soulmate is so pretty?? Their beauty has a radiating affect on others, so graceful and charming.👑 They could definitely wear golden jewelry and accessories, I'm imagining wrist wear for some of my pile 4's. Also maybe a gold-ish skin tone? Lol their skin just glows, your soulmate is a stunning and expensive person!!

💌Messages from them: Makeup, Message, Treat, Leo, Invitation, Pisces, North node, Vertex, Aquarius, 10th house, It's hard to make this work, Don't compare yourself, I know, Seriously? I think we're alike, Let me know, They're just jealous, What did I do?🧣🐈😔🛸

Haha ok this is interesting, so your soulmate wants to tell you that even if things get tough, please don't be hard on yourself pile 4🥺💖 They don't want you to blame yourself for difficult times, or compare yourself to others that seem more successful or achieved than you. Also specifically they don't want you to compare yourself to beauty influencers or celebrities, your soulmate is saying that no one wakes up effortlessly attractive or accomplished and not everything is as it seems.🔍🚫 That message is really coming out strongly from your soulmate, they hate seeing you upset or feeling like you aren't good enough. Your soulmate hopes you will treat yourself with pride, respect and self love🩷✨️ Also for some of my pile 4's your relationship with this soulmate may recieve public recognition and even jealousy, so your soulmate wants to let you know that won't keep you two apart.🌹 I'm hearing people making up rumors and delusions about you two, but your soulmate doesn't want you to let them affect you. Also only for some but you may get an opportunity to work with your soulmate, could be an online campaign or some sort of collaboration that will bring attention to you both.👀📸 I am seeing some of my pile 4's might compare themselves to this soulmate, and they are here to assure you that you two are no different. It may seem like this person is more efficient or ahead of you in some way, but they want you to know that they are not as great as they appear and they make mistakes just like anyone else.☹️💓 Your soulmate really wants you to know that you are just as good as anyone else, they want you to remember your worth. You are someone admirable to them, they themselves are a greatly respected and loved person but they only see you.🔗🩷 So pile 4 your soulmate wants you to keep your chin up and love the person you have become! They are so proud of you and they are your biggest supporter, they believe in you.🥰

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🤗🎀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the orange leaf emoji~🍁 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍂🩷

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[anxious-witch]

This post specifically goes for my mutuals/followers who have been struggling lately. I see you and I don't always have something encouraging to reply, but if you have been feeling down recently, I hope this will help.

TW for mental health talk, mentions of suicide (this is an encouraging post, but please don't read further if anything of the sort might trigger you. Keeping your mental health intact is more important ❤️)

It's so very easy to get in the spiral of "I am not doing enough, all these people that I love would be better off without me". And convincing yourself those same people would forget you and move on quickly.

It's not true. I understand the sentiment, I really, really do. I used to fully believe that myself. But that's a lie. Mental illness reshapes the way we think and perceive things. And our brain and wired to remember bad things more than good ones. But when you'd write down everything that happened every day, I'd honestly be surprised if all of it was bad. Of course there are bad days, but even then, depression tend to focus on things you did wrong instead of those you did right.

But I am here to talk about the fact that I'd miss you if you were gone, too. Which seems ridiculous. "Rio, you follow 1000 blogs, you wouldn't notice". *loud incorrect buzzer* wrong! I would notice. As long as we ever interacted, as long as you liked and/or reblogged my posts, I'd notice.

When someone gets busy and I don't see them in my notes for over a week, I hope they are okay and just doing something more fun irl. I am not always great at remembering usernames, but as soon as they like one of my posts again I'm like yes!! They are back! I am glad you are okay!

"But I don't even contribute to the fandom!" No? Do you think creating content is the only way to contribute? Even just lurking and liking stuff counts. And I know some of you send really lovely anon messages that have made my day more than once. It DOES matter. Notes help other people as encouragement to keep posting. That absolutely counts.

"We barely post about the same fandom anymore" ah! But I still see you! I have a mutual that I have been following since 2016-2017, I believe. I have no idea what the hell he posts about these days. I can't rven accurately tell you why I originally followed him in the first place, it was either LOTR or Twilight, but fuck if I remember, because neither of hs posts about it!

And I still care. Because his journey ended up helping me. Seeing people's posts about their little achievements always makes my day. And even if you don't feel like you achieved anything in awhile, that doesn't mean you won't in the future. My point is, you are loved more than you know.

And this is only about online stuff. People notice when you walk down the street. Maybe someone likes your hair, or some detail of your outfit. Maybe someone saw you feed a stray and thought how nice you are. Maybe someone takes the same public transport as you every day and takes comfort in the fact you share the same path, if only for a few minutes.

This tumblr post perfectly described it, actually:

So please, if not for your own sake, for the sake of all the people who love you silently, keep going. It will get better. You might be just a bit further away from getting better. But you won't know unless you keep going.

So let's find out together, shall we?

[lesbianrobin]

Heyy ik ur locked into 911 rn and I love that for you happy for you write a billion fanfics for it eddie is out ect ❤️ but are we getting a young strangers update anytime soon? 🥺🙏

hi omg i love u 😭💕

okay so here is the thing with young strangers. i love that fic So dearly. but i also planned that entire fic out basically between part 1 and part 2 of s4. and part 2 of s4 presented me with a bit of a quandary as to how to wrap things up. because throughout the fic i wasn't changing much each season yknow the big change i had planned on was basically just a different person being vecna'd instead of max and i was gonna try and keep things as close to canon as i could. and then s4 ended with eddie sacrificing himself arguably unnecessarily and max being violently killed by vecna after she finally started pulling herself out of her depressive spiral.

and because young strangers is dealing very directly with suicide and depression and i wanted to tell a story about the dangers of ignoring mental health and exploring grief and about how you Can heal and things Do get better. i really really do not want eddie to send himself to his death or for vecna to crunch anybody in the main cast. i want it to end on a good note. but because s4 ended with Softcore Apocalypse i am now in the position of having to figure out an alternate ending to basically wrap up the entire show's plot and that is not what i had prepared for when i started the fic and i just can't decide what i want to do with it.

so i'm really really sorry but i have absolutely no idea when i'll update/complete young strangers. that fic is so important to me and i Hate that it's been sitting in limbo for so long, but i've written myself into a corner here and i don't want to shortchange the story by half-assing the ending so. for the foreseeable future, we are in limbo.

anyway again i'm really sorry about that and it means the world to me that you care enough about my fic to still be waiting on an update after so long 😭 thank you truly

[thecrazyphantom]

Just some interactions that happened to me a couple of years ago.

The person I'm referring to is probably stalking my account as I post this 😕

(This is just a vent of mine, you can skip if you don't want to read it ❤️)

Btw both of us are Female(well idk what they are but they're afab)

I was so uncomfortable trying to respond to them saying this, let alone in response to my photo.

When they broke our friendship (In a very cringe way btw. I can elaborate if anyone asks) they told me how I "treated them horribly" even though I was the one who constantly just had to deal with their Bullshit when they texted me.

They'd also constantly oversexualize all the female characters I Roleplay/I like

Ex: Saying that Peko has (AND I LITERALLY QUOTE.) "phat juicy tits".

When we had a Simp channel in our Discord server That was Yk... Dedicated to fictional characters.. or people in their class they thought were pretty. They posted a photo into it of Me in a Byakuya Cosplay looking down at the camera and then started going on and on about how they'd give me everything they owned and such and it made me so uncomfortable that I couldn't even response logically so i just sent "<3" and didn't respond to the text.

They would also talk constantly about their AUs and stuff about The Cuphead show. I rlly did like a lot of what they talked about since I liked Cuphead the Game and have a very open mind to others Aus. But the thing was was that I had openly talked about how I didnt want to watch the Cuphead show because I just didn't like the voice acting ((Well they've got good voice acting, good Animation, and funny plots , but I just don't think the Cuphead cast should have voices. But I did watch the show after all this, and it was pretty good)). But i just remember that one day I was getting tired of them talking about Cuphead and I texted them "I don't mean to be rude but can you stop sending Cuphead content? You're slowly making me dislike it 😕" (that's the exact quote), and then they got annoyed and was like "that was the only direct cuphead thing I've sent" And I ofc denied that bc I don't rlly loose interest in things through only one message unless it's controversial. And I wasn't gonna deal with pulling up all that evidence so I just said "Omfg *name*" "Nah I'm done with discord" and they instantly started to "im so sorry" bomb but I told them I wouldn't talk to them until I calmed down bc I was just pretty grouchy at the moment. When I came back I sent some words abt me calming myself down again, then said "I apologize for my outburst". And bam we were somehow friends again????

What was even worse was that they did this all in front of our mutual friend (well at the time it was mutual, now they're just my friend ^_^) that they were at the time dating.

(I don't even remember if they sent more cuphead and I'm not even gonna dig for it)

All I know is that that could've been easily resolved by either just saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry I'll try to send them less" or even being like "Cuphead is my Hyperfixation, just like how your hyperfixation is Danganronpa"

They'd also text the gc that me and my friend were in that they were going to commit Slick-a-Slide and then disappear for weeks on end. So ofc me and my friend would be worried and get in a depressive state because we were under the false narrative that they Unalived, just for them to come back after a while and just brush it off. Each time we asked if they were okay they would always be like "Yeah Sorry my mom just took away my phone." And for a while I started to speculate that they were just in a Mental hospital but they never mentioned it (and they Kinda told us EVERYTHING that happens in their life/day/week.) So not only were they treating me wrong, they were dragging my friend into it and Worrying them. (This happened multiple times while they were dating, so I can't even imagine the levels of depression that could've spiraled my friend into. Like having to hear your lover say they were going to commit, then go offline for a long time, is actually petrifying.)

This is a small one but I also remember that a couple weeks or months before they broke ties with me, We were in a server with all of their friends (+my friend and I), they texted the public channel asking if anyone wanted to call, and when I said that I was down to call that literally responded something along the lines of "someone who isn't Phantom" and then they kicked me shortly after I responded with a sad emoji. That made me lose all left over respect I had for them. My friend confronted them on how that wasn't too nice to say, and then they got kicked too.

Also this is off track but imma bring it up since I'm currently obsessed with Korekiyo, but the way they Roleplayed Korekiyo made him seem like he's some Holier than thou character that could pretty much read minds and just tell what they were doing prior ((for example a character could make and excuse to walk off to give something to someone they're currently seeing and come back to Korekiyo and they'd respond "Oh were you giving something to *name*?")). Idk this just made me not like Korekiyo for a while after they broke ties with me.

Anyways that's all my ranting for now. Pip, Ace, whatever you're going by rn. If you see this, please get off my page, for you've made me dread each second and more that you've talked to me ;) ❤️

[psychics4unet]

Hey! I'm here again😌

Can I get the free reading for Egyptian sand? As I was saying I think this is my third time here(btw you're amazing ❤️)

I was so close to entering the void state but then I procrastinated for a whole month 🥲

It feels like I've ruined my entire journey and I don't know what to do. I don't know what method to do. I don't know what meditation to do. Can you please guide me? I feel like giving up and it's so depressing. Thank you❤️

Free Psychic Reading By Egyptian Sand! (PAID READINGS ARE ALSO OPENED!) 🌟✨

As I focus on the sand, three symbolic shapes emerge:

The first shape looks like a spiral 🌀, which represents cycles and progress. This shows that your journey hasn’t been ruined at all! The spiral suggests that while you may have taken a detour, you’re still on the path. Sometimes progress is slow, but you're still moving forward, even if it doesn't feel like it.

The second symbol resembles a feather floating in the wind 🪶, symbolizing lightness and letting go. This suggests that instead of stressing about the right method or meditation, you should release the pressure you're putting on yourself. The feather reminds you to trust the process and allow things to flow naturally without forcing it.

The third shape looks like a rising sun 🌅, representing new beginnings and hope. This is a powerful sign that your journey isn't over—it's just beginning in a new way. The rising sun brings warmth and optimism, encouraging you to try again without feeling weighed down by the past.

In summary, the spiral shows you’re still on your journey, even if you’ve felt stuck. The feather encourages you to let go of the pressure, and the rising sun reminds you that a new chapter is always possible. You haven’t ruined anything—trust yourself, and take it one step at a time. 🌈💖

Got questions or need some insight into your life? I'm here to help with personal psychic readings! For just $7, you can get answers to up to 7 questions! More info at:

In case anyone else here on tumblr would like a free psychic reading, Click the link and follow the instructions (I answer only to those who follow the instructions, thank you):

[targaryenluvs]

congrats on your milestone!! i absolutely adore your writing 🤍 i’d love a ship with the pjo characters, if that’s okay.

my name is emma, or em for short. i’m 5’1 with long dark brown hair and deep brown eyes. i’m incredibly loyal to my friends and the first to defend them and always ready to fight for them. i’m also a huge flirt because it’s just fun to flirt with people, even if i’m rarely serious about it. i’m a libra after all. and i’m an extrovert, i love philosophy and writing poetry, i love a good debate, and i love meddling in my friend’s love lives. i can be a bit over dramatic sometimes but i really just want to make people smile and laugh and keep their attention. because it makes me feel good about myself when i can hold someone’s attention.

i hope this is enough information. or the right information. and i’m so dreadfully sorry if it’s not.

i hope you have a lovely day/night whenever this finds you. 🤍

hello emma! thank you so much, i hope you have a great day ❤️

i personally see you with percy himself!

on the depressing side the two of you are able to bond at times over senses of attention. percy wasn’t exactly popular amongst his peers so being able to hold someone’s attention let alone making a friend is amazing to him, and being able to hold your attention??

it sends him into a spiral. finally being able to be friends with someone he really does like certainly makes him shy in all honesty. you’d been with him in the hermes cabin, one of your best friends being a child of hermes meant you loved to spend your time around them. at first you’d kept your distance since percy seemed pretty jumpy but then again, maybe he just needed a friend.

so you decided to talk to him, and it ended being your best decision.

the two of you loved to geek out over philosophy and at times annoyed the other campers by your talk. before dating the two of you did become a bit of a dynamic duo, sarcasm was your speciality. you loved to joke around together all the time.

whilst you both couldn’t work up the nerve to tell eachother about your feelings you were both extremely protective of eachother. even when people asked you out you always seemed to turn them down. unwavering loyalty at all times.

the first time percy realised just how much you really did care for him was when you defended him against clarisse.

-

“back off, seriously.” emma stood in front of percy with her arms crossed whilst clarisse laughed, “or what?” she tilted her head to the side as emma took a step forwards, “i don’t care about being labelled a snitch, i don’t mind telling mr d. and i sure as hell don’t mind telling everyone where our flag is next game.”

“you little—” she was quick to shove her into the floor before grabbing percy’s hand and running, “did you just push clarisse!?” percy yelled as she giggled, “yes! we may as well have some fun before she kills us.” the two of you ended up in the strawberry fields.

“i hope she likes dirt.” percy joked as you smiled, “are you okay perce?” emma was probably the only person he’d ever let call him that, “i am, thank you. em, you really didn’t have to do that.” she shrugged her shoulders before taking a step forwards, “anything for you, really. you’re.. my best friend perce.” emma didn’t miss the way his eyes seemed to dull at the name.

“just a friend?” emma sat on the floor as percy joined her, “why, you wanna be something more?” emma flirted as percy’s cheeks heated up, “maybe.” it was mumbled, but she still heard him, “you’re kidding.”

“no, i’m not. you’ve been there for me since day one, no matter what. i love how you laugh, i love how you put up with my rambling, i love how selfless you are. i really love you.” she couldn’t help the tears in her eyes as she placed her hand over his.

“i might just like you too percy jackson.”

[allylikethecat]

i hate inflicting more pain onto him but you do "insecure matty comforted by g" so well, could we get a little snippet on him reacting to all the "twink death" posts on twitter 🥹

HELLO KIND ANON!

Thank you so much for going rogue and just like... sending me a prompt that wasn't on any kind of list. If anyone else wants to just... send me a prompt situation from the depths of their mind I am HERE and READY for it!

This little snippet ended up being 2k words and I'm not totally sure how that happened and I was going to try and cut it down some but then decided that this was my blog so I can do what I want and we are full send posting the entire thing. I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for, but here we are! Also I mean no offense to anyone with this one (Fictional!Matty per the prompt is upset about the Twink Death posts and it sends him spiraling about his relationship with fans and also fictional!George) and I hope you enjoy it! Also I 100% made up the twitter handle and I mean no offense if there is anyone out there with that handle.

Thank you so much and let me know what you think!

❤️Ally

Matty knew he wasn’t supposed to be on Twitter anymore. His therapist had told him so, George had told him so. Social media was a cesspool, it wasn’t real life, and it only ever served to bring him down. Matty knew he had an addictive personality, and a short attention span, so sometimes it felt like social media had been made just for him, projecting colorful, easily digestable, bite size bits of information right to his brain. (Rationally he knew that was the entire point of an algorithm but that didn’t mean it made him feel any less special.)

Scrolling through Twitter was like pressing on a bruise, he couldn’t help but love the sting even though it only hurt him. Whenever he went on Twitter he ended up doom scrolling until he sent himself into a depressive spiral, focusing on all the people who hated him and wanted him to overdose and die, which he then coped with by getting drunk and posting the wrong thing. 

Matty knew he wasn’t supposed to be on Twitter anymore, but George was distracted and Matty was too tired to even sleep and apparently a masochist as he settled onto the hotel bed and re-downloaded the app, a white X on a black background instead of the blue bird he had grown to love to hate. He logged in quickly with one of his many burner accounts, a ‘75 fan account that no one had even joking speculated was actually him. A tingling thrill of anticipation moved up his spine, not unlike the buzz he used to feel when he went out to score, as his feed loaded. He quickly glanced over at George guilty, who was still staring intently at his laptop, sitting at the hotel desk, headphones on, working on something. He felt like a little kid with his hand in the cookie jar, just asking to be caught and disciplined.

Confident that George wouldn’t be paying him any mind, at least for a little while, Matty began scrolling. There were fans proclaiming their love for him, and that they wanted to have his babies, invasive fan theories about him and Ross of all people that couldn’t be further from the truth, pictures of Taylor in Brazil, then more pictures of her pretending she gave a rat's arse about football. Sandwiched between a gif of a cat falling off of the counter and a tweet proclaiming Jack Antanoff a chaos gremlin Matty saw it.

He nearly scrolled past the two pictures posted side by side. If he was going to be naughty and looking through twitter, he was going to at least try and avoid too much of his own press, but he couldn’t help but stop. It was a picture of him from 2014, he was on stage, clutching a microphone and a cigarette in the same hand, his pale blue button down half unbuttoned and nearly slipping off his shoulder, his collar bone jutting out razor sharp. His curls were overgrown and unbrushed, falling around his face, a dark curtain he used to desperately hide behind. He had a vague memory of that day, at least he thought it might have been that day. He had been wearing that shirt the first time George kissed him for real. It had been the last time he had worn the shirt as well, the buttons hadn’t survived George’s eager hands. 

The other picture was from a few nights ago, a tight gray tee shirt clinging to his chest and biceps, the mustache he had grown back at George’s sheepish request twitched in amusement. He looked so much healthier in the second photo, and he was surprised to see it, surprised to see how stark the contrast was. He was pleased that the fans were seeing it too, that they were seeing how much work he had been putting into himself. He wasn’t hiding behind his hair anymore, hence the shorter curls. He was eating better, he was working out. He was trying not to drink as much, he was trying not to smoke as much. He was, after years of therapy, and a few hospital stays that he was happy never actually made it into the press, and more patience and support from George than Matty was sure he deserved, he was actually doing well. The new combination of medication was helping, even if he didn’t want to admit it. 

Then he saw the caption. Twink Death. He blinked. What did they mean, twink death. He was actively taking steps to better himself and healyslut69 was clearly being ridiculous, acting like a piece of him had died. He was the same person, he just wasn’t twenty five and addicted to smack anymore. Not that he had ever been a twink in the first place. He was a manly man, thank you very much. He clicked on the tweet, eager to scroll through the thread and see the replies calling out healyslut69 for being absolutely ridiculous. Twink Death, he scoffed, absolutely ridiculous. That was until he saw that all of the replies were in agreement with healyslut69. They were all mourning his alleged twink death.

He let out a little whine of frustration, then quickly glanced up from his phone to make sure George hadn’t heard him. Thankfully, George was still engrossed in whatever track he was working on, headphones on, clicking away. This is absolutely ridiculous, Matty thought, thumbing away from the thread to go back to his feed. This group of fans didn’t know what they were on about. He frowned as he saw another post relating to the topic, then another, and then another. He swallowed hard. Maybe healyslut69 wasn’t the one that was wrong. Maybe he was. 

He scrolled up, finding the original tweet once again. He looked at the two photos, bringing his phone up closer to his face to examine them as if he wasn’t looking at the face he saw in the mirror every morning. Maybe he didn’t look like the same person anymore. Maybe it was more than just getting clean, cutting his hair and gaining at least a stone. Maybe a piece of him really had died. He swallowed hard, his thick smoker’s saliva catching in his throat causing him to cough wetly. At that George did turn his head, lifting one of the headphones away from his ear. 

“You ‘right?” George asked, frowning, as he took in the look on Matty’s face. 

Matty quickly waved him off. “Yeah, just swallowed wrong,” he said, flashing George a thumbs up.

George frowned but turned back to his laptop anyway and Matty went back to his phone, clicking on the original tweet must have triggered something in his algorithm because he was suddenly bombarded with posts about how much he had changed, how much the fans wanted the “old Matty back” how they wanted to “Make Matty Gay again” as if he wasn’t in a fucking relationship with a man and had been for the past nine years. 

The more he read the more the self doubt started creeping in. It was slow at first, and he almost didn’t notice it. It was like frostbite, creeping through his body, overwhelming his senses without him even realizing until it was too late. He pressed the side button to lock his phone and tossed it onto the bed, where it proceeded to slide off the sheets and land on the floor with a clatter. He let out a groan of frustration and self pity, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. He just couldn’t fucking win. 

“Okay,” said George, taking his headphones completely off and spinning around in the swivel chair to look at Matt, quickly glancing at his phone on the floor, then back to Matty. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” said Matty stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling ridiculous for even being upset that some faceless fan account was mourning his supposed “twink death,” even as his lower lip began to tremble. Fuck Matty though, unable to meet George’s gaze and the loving concern he knew he was going to see painted across his face. He was going to start crying. He froze, feeling like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head. What if George didn’t find him as attractive anymore, what if George missed how he used to look, all skinny and delicate, with long messy hair, sucking on a cigarette instead of eating breakfast, lunch or dinner. 

What if that was why their sex life had gotten less active as they got older. They still had plenty of sex, and Matty had always been satisfied, but what if that was the reason the shirt destroying urgency was gone, what if that was why George wasn’t tossing him onto the nearest surface at every opportunity anymore. Matty had thought they were just getting older, maturing, leveling out, but what if George just wasn’t as attracted to him anymore?! What if that was why George had wanted him to grow the mustache, what if he was trying to find some new way to make sleeping with him less of a chore. 

Matty couldn’t help it, he looked up, at kind, sweet, understanding and supportive George, who forced himself to fuck him even though he wasn’t attracted to him anymore, and instantly burst into the tears he had been fighting. 

George blinked in surprise, clearly he hadn’t been expecting that. He stood up, closing the distance between them as he sat down next to Matty on the bed, carefully pulling him into his arms even as Matty kept his hands pressed to his face. 

“What’s wrong, love,” said George softly, rubbing a large hand in careful circles against Matty’s back. “Did something happen? Is your family okay?” 

Guilt burned in Matty’s stomach, as he pressed his hand to his mouth as if he could push all the upset back inside of his chest, as if he could swallow it back down to his belly where it belonged. 

“They’re fine,” Matty said with a hiccup, “I’m fine, sorry, fuck, I’m fine,” he rubbed at his eyes, even as his breath hitched, “you can get back to work, I’m fine.” 

“Matthew,” said George softly, pulling Matty’s hands away from his face. “Something is clearly wrong, what can I do to help?” 

George’s kindness just made Matty cry harder, burying his face in George’s shoulder. He knew he was being extremely dramatic and over the top right now, crying because some fans on the internet were mourning his alleged “twink death” was ridiculous even for him. But it wasn’t just about the fans on the internet, it was hundreds of little things he had pushed down until he just couldn’t take it anymore and it all boiled over. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be famous anymore, he wasn’t sure he ever had. 

It was the fans that seemed to hate him always criticizing his outfit choices, the ones complaining about the set lists he painstakingly put together, the ones who complained that he didn’t talk enough during gigs, and the ones who complained when he did. It was the fans, and not fans, that took every word he had ever spoken ever, and twisted it round in circles until it didn’t even make sense anymore. It was the ones accusing him of being the worst person alive. It was the ones wishing death upon him and his loved ones. It was the way that no matter what he did, no matter how much of himself he gave to the masses, it was never enough and never what they wanted. He was just so fucking tired, and seeing that tweet broke something inside of him in a way that he hadn’t been expecting. It filled him with even more self loathing and doubt, why had he even bothered to get clean, why had he even bothered to try and get healthy, everyone liked him better strung out anyway it seemed. 

“Just some dumb fans on the internet,” said Matty quietly, trying to get his breathing under control, George was still rubbing his back soothingly.

“Matty,” said George sadly, his heart breaking. He wasn’t going to address the fact that they both already knew Matty wasn’t supposed to be looking at Twitter. 

“Do you,” said Matty, pulling away slightly, needing to hear the words straight from George’s mouth, needing to rip the bandaid off. If George didn’t like him like this he would figure it out. He’d lose the weight again, he’d grow out his hair. “Do you,” he swallowed hard, “do you still like me?” 

“What kind of absolute bullshit question is that?” George asked, “of course I like you Matty, I fucking love you.” 

Matty swallowed again, weighing his words. “Are you, are you still attracted to me?” 

“Jesus Christ Matty,” said George, “what is this about? Yes I’m very much still attracted to you, always have been and always will be.” 

“Even though I’m not as,” Matty could bring himself to say the word, “delicate anymore?” he asked instead. 

“What do you mean?” George asked not following along. Matty sighed and pulled away from George’s arms, leaning over the side of the bed to retrieve his phone. He unlocked it, keeping his eyes down cast as he handed it to George.

George frowned, looking over the tweet, a crinkle forming between his eyebrows. He relocked Matty’s phone without saying a word and reached over to set it on the nightstand. 

“I,” said George leaning in and pushing Matty onto his back so he could hover over him. “Love you.” He kissed Matty’s deeply, licking into his mouth, before nipping lightly on his lower lip. “And I will always love you and think you’re the sexiest man alive.” 

“Even though I’m not a twink anymore?” Matty couldn’t help but ask even as he felt George’s erection digging into his thigh. 

George snorted. “If anything, it’s even hotter that I don’t have to worry about hurting you.” 

Matty couldn’t help the grin that broke out across his face, and George couldn’t help but kiss it away. 

[saaraahka]

I used to think of myself the way you think of yourself. 'I just don't have it in me to get x and y done' . The thing is that's a lie that your depression tells you, you can do it!!! Most days I struggle to get stuff done too. What I do to get through this is consider your hobbies a reward. You like to be on tumblr a lot, use it as a reward. Take baby steps. Tell yourself if I pick up these two rooms then I can get on tumblr. If I clean the bathroom then I can watch TV. If I clean the floors then I can (insert other hobby). If you spend 30 min- 1 hour a day doing things around the house it will stay relatively clean. Also for groceries, make a list. I got a pad with a magnet to stick on the fridge. Whenever I notice something is low I put it on the list. Bring a pen to the store and mark it off as you go. It may seem like a lot and overwhelming but I promise it will help with your depression when you get it done and realize you too are capable! Lots of people have these thought processes and spirals, the only way to break it is to assert yourself and try even when you don't feel like it. I only send this meaning the best and I hope it helps.

Oh love these thoughts anon 💖

I so should probably do that it is a great idea I just need to find a good balance for how much I can presure myself to complete the tasks, or steps in a task for a reward. But also actually completing it and not let one mire week go past with most not being completed. Need to find a system that works sorta ok for me when it comes to these things.

Buying groceries is the worst :/ Like, I always mess it up and I dont even understand why. I usually have a lit in my notes app on the phone but gave to go back to the store like three or four times because *insert something that makes sense here*. And it just make me feel terrible like it not that I don't read the list and compare with my basket it just idk.. im obviously not paying attention, but whyyyy?! Its the worst.

Depression is so dumb and like yeees I know it depression and other stuff that nestle in to everything else but I still get all "why cant I even complete the simplest tasks" when I probably could if it wasnt for the dark stuff in the head

I'm so greatful for your ask just the sweetest ❤️

[webslingingslasher]

Do you have any advice for someone who really wants to write on here but is too self conscious/scared? After seeing everyone on your blog and just this little community you have built, I realized that I want a little family like this too. I also have dreams of becoming a serious author, and I mean, I gotta start somewhere, right? Tumblr is an awesome place and I'd love to start writing, but as I said, I guess I'm just afraid people won't like me.

You and some other authors on here are a huge inspiration for me, and I love each and every one of your works. Some of them have actually brought me out of a depressive spiral.

oh goodness, i thought i answered! i'm so sorry!

first off, thank you very much this means a lot. i felt the same way and that's when i really started writing and posting.

i think the biggest thing is that you can't write relying on other people's praise. it's nice to have, and i appreciate every bit of it, but i didn't get a lot at first. and a lot of fic writers never do.

if you're posting hoping for a reaction or following you're doing it for the wrong reasons. i started posting so i could read the content i wanted to read, and if other people liked that, it would be awesome.

writing is fun and creative, but when you start putting so much pressure behind it, it stops being fun. tumblr is a great place to start and the community is so warming and refreshing. being here with every single friend that follows me or sends me a message my heart grows.

and don't be scared, everyone starts somewhere. some of the first things i posted i look back on and cringe, but it's good because it shows growth. plus, there's a demand for everything, so your content will reach someone.

better yet, reach someone who's been hoping someone would write something like you've produced.

my best advice is don't get caught up in the numbers game, and create because it makes you feel good. the rest will follow. ❤️ you got this.

[saphilous]

oh i have bpd too! i was diagnosed in october 2020 at 18 years old. however i have been struggling with mental illness ever since i started puberty at around 10 years old.

you said you are handling your bpd well, and i’m happy for you! i know it must’ve been hard so congrats! :)

but i was wondering if you could share any tips on how to control bpd? i’m struggling a lot. the littlest things make me suicidal, i can’t be left alone bc i’ll hurt myself, i have zero friends because i’m so scared of abandonment, etc

i want to get better but i don’t know how. everyone just says therapy or yoga, but therapy is too expensive and i have trauma related to yoga so….

i am on medication though and it helps, but not enough.

if you don’t feel comfy sharing your tips or answering this i totally understand! i won’t be mad if you just delete this :)

anyway i hope you have a great day or night!

Hey bud!

So I was diagnosed at 16-17 but has been struggling with it throughout my life. It sucks like a lot.. I got to a point where I was in a fully toxic relationship where the other person was actively encouraging me to SH at a point. Getting out of that relationship pushed me into a 6 month long crippling depression period where I did not leave my house at all, literally not even once.

It did take a while to get back to a relatively "normal" state. I got lucky and found some pretty good friends through a game and that was one of the things I could hold on to. But I do go BPD on them all the time, although internally. Worrying that they're gonna abandon me or worse hate me but not tell me that

I just try to distract myself from those thoughts as quickly as possible by closing chat and scrolling through Tumblr or doing something else that I'm actively obsessed with like a VG or cooking.

And I get your situation as well. Therapy is way too expensive than its supposed to be. I'm glad you're taking meds tho. They do help in the longterm even if the effects are not that noticeable immediately :)

The best advice I can give (even tho I don't think I'm qualified to lol) is to acknowledge the BPD. I know it's not easy at all. Takes a lot of energy to keep yourself sane every second of everyday. BPD is an active issue. It's gonna take a lot to bear all of that and not let it effect our lives too much. Ik everyone says it'll get better while the world is actively getting worse every single day, it is important to remind ourselves what matters to us. For me, it's pets, my writing, my plants, etc. BPD makes me feel like anything can leave me at any moment. That puts me in a constant alert mode. So I write random stories when I feel like I'm spiraling. I go and take care of my plants, cut dried out leaves, water them, etc., I cook or look at pics of my friends' pets or cats of tumblr. Mostly because these can't abandon me ig? Like anyone can take anyything away from me but not my ability to write. Makes me feel like I'm being myself. And it acts like an outlet cus most of my OCs have BPD too lol.

I try not to get too attached to my friends but it happens lol. They don't know I have BPD but they're pretty nice. Having a friend group helps a lottt! It might take a while to find them. I found it last year after struggling to maintain any sort of friends for so long. I hope you can find people like that too ❤️

But hey, until then It's important to find or create something that we can call our own.

I don't think I can ever recover from BPD. Don't even know if I can ever be "normal" But I'm gonna continue to be weird af and live life on my terms because fuck life. And it tends to fuck me a lot too lol

I have no idea if that made any sense but hey! You're always welcome to text me or send me an anon ask if you're feeling down!

If I can have a wish, it'll be to just eliminate BPD and the trauma that led to it for everyone :)

[hoarder-of-stories-27]

i saw your anti post and i need support badly. one of my closest friends for a year disclosed to me that they wanted someone banned from a discord for stating that a fictional rape scene titillated them. i said that seemed a bit extreme, and in the ensuing conversation was accused of having a rape kink and being a rape apolgist. i have a slight cnc kink and proceeded to have a mental breakdown about it. i reached out, in a sideways, deceptive sort of way to my support system and they said 1/?

people like me (non-offending pedophiles) (i can't wait until I have to put non-offending rapist in my fucking twitter bio) should die a violent and terrible death. My new friend group provides. some. support. but. I get the impression that they don't want or need to hear about it. I'm so torn. I have nothing and nobody to go to, and I still feel so awful. My old friend reached out after I dropped them when they expressed that they couldn't support someone who condoned fictional rape 2/?

and I want to talk to them about it, but I have no support system. If they tell people I am persona non grata. I have nothing. I can't be friends with them without overcoming the fact that they don't think they can support me, and I can't tell them because I don't want to get hurt. I'm probably in the middle of a depressive spiral but this thing has gotten to 'prime guilt' status. I'm sorry for flooding your inbox, I just hoped you could offer me directions to someplace I could be supported. 3/3

Hey! First, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, oh my goodness? Your situation is awful, and you're so strong for reaching out for help. I'm really glad you did. I don't know how much I can help, but I can definitely offer sympathy. You deserve to live a happy, healthy life, no matter what goes on in the inside of your head, and you deserve to feel safe and have supportive friends.

The best idea I have is - check the "pro paraphilia" tag on here? Maybe make a separate blog with a separate identity (not a sideblog, a whole separate blog - Tumblr doesn't like pro-paraphilia blogs, no matter how much you emphasize that you're against harmful actions, and there's a risk of getting deleted) to interact with people there and try to make friends? That's the place I know with the highest concentration of support for people like us. The Twitter paraphilia community is a joke, recently, from the little I've seen - just discourse (and bad discourse), no support.

You can also try the "pro ship", "pro fiction", or "anti anti" tags, but you'll want to make sure you check whether people have any red flags in their bio/pinned/carrd implying that they only apply "fictional things are fine" to, like, ships. Still, if you're in any fandoms, you might be able to find a supportive community through that - and they'll certainly be better than what you've described.

I hope that helps a little. I hope you'll be able to find people that way. And you don't have to be sorry for sending me messages!! I'm glad to do my best to help. I wish you luck.

(Edit: there's someone offering support in the replies!! And I should explicitly say - you're very welcome to send more asks. ❤️)

[swimmingleo]

I’ve been going through a bad slump for the past year with my my moms impending death and me being outed to my homophobic family and having to let go of my girlfriend. I’d been in a really bad depressive state and god it sounds SO STUPID when I write it out but I started taking an interest in music and theory and history and my own cultures queer history again after coming across your analyses on Pink Floyds music and it sent me into my own research spiral and for that I’m so grateful. My problems are still there, my moms still dying, I’m still gay in a homophobic family and I still have depression and anxiety. But now I can also cry again after a year of bottling it up I can cry to the wall and to wish you were here and I can relate to the collective queer trauma and just feel a little less alone and for that I have you to thank. You’re amazing amazing amazing. Thank you and thank you to @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk too for their analyses getting me back into the love of my life- literature.

I'm extremely touched you came and typed this, it doesn't sound stupid at all and indeed you are not alone. What you are going through is very tough and I'm sending you my best thoughts.

I understand how liberating it feels, to finally find that one piece of art you can bawl your heart out to when the world you live in makes it so hard to express your feelings or even just... understand them. Music really is a beautiful thing

It's comforting to know it motivated you to learn more, to get your interest back for doing what you love. Cultivating the brain really helps the soul when the heart lacks, and what you said about your own journey resonated a lot with mine, and the way I deal with my own issues related to my queerness and mental health. Thank you for sharing this and I wish for you to find even more people who will understand you, through your researches and the slow (but safe!) recovery process ❤️

(tagging @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk idk if the mention works when it's in the ask)

[pacifymebby]

Hey girlie I’m once again back for advice. I’m trying to gauge what is an appropriate amount of interaction with my guy and it’s like so hard. I don’t want to annoy him or be overbearing. Cause like he’s obviously got a job and shit to do and a life outside of seeing me and talking to me. And considering we’ve only just started seeing each other I don’t want to be overly clingy. But also seeing as this is my first time I guess “dating” (idk what you would call it we haven’t called it anything yet) I’m like wow this is all so new and exciting and I’m feeling so small and needy :(. I feel so pathetic just waiting around for it to be the weekend again so I can see him again. How do you deal with feeling lonely or needy when you can’t see B? I just don’t know if I feel comfortable saying to him that I miss him or I miss kissing him or something. - age gap crush anon ❤️

Hey I'm sorry my replies have been a wee bit slow I've had work and been like overwhelmed by life haha. Also B left mine yesterday morning and I just got so depressed because (convenient for this ask) I missed him haha.

I think like, message back and forth and don't feel too weird about the occasional double message. And again just remember that all these new love giddy feelings you're getting, he's getting them too. Like men do experience the same dopamine rush that we do, they just don't express it the same way we do. Know that if you're missing him he's probably missing you too.

Something I noticed with B is that he didn't start to express his feelings of missing me until I admitted that I missed him and didn't like not getting to see him.

And like you can totally make a joke of it too, I make self deprecating "lol I'm sorry I'm so needy" jokes all the time haha.

Idk though, I wouldn't worry too much about coming across as overbearing or whatever, I think as well like, adults don't do the whole "I have to leave it an hour before I reply to them or they will think I'm too keen" thing, they just reply to eachother when they have time idk. Like I message B way more than he messages me, and I'll double and sometimes triple message all the time because I know he's not ignoring me, he's just been busy.

I don't feel like this is actually solid easy to follow advice so sorry about that, I kinda have to go off vibes when I'm sending him messages, and sometimes he will take like 24 hours to two days to reply to me, but like when he does I can tell he obvs doesn't think I'm being too needy or too much.

And omg unfortunately in terms of coping with missing him I don't even know, you may have noticed from my tumblr posts but when I don't get to see B for a few days I spiral hahaha.

No idk, I try to just motivate myself with focusing on when I'll next see him, or just finding tasks that I need to do to distract myself like writing. I watch pride and prejudice and lost in translation a lot bc they are my comfort films and they give me like that childish cuddly feeling.

Also me and B phone in the week between seeing eachother.

But for real, just distractions. Just work out what's best going to usefully occupy your mind and try to force yourself to be distracted. But also, like lean into the missing him and yearning becayse it's part of the joy of that beginning stsge tbh. Like let your mind wander and daydream about him, and remember the cute things he's said to you/done for you, like reimagine all the time u have spent together so far.

That's what I do, especially when I'm like, struggling to sleep without B.

Anyway I hope this helps and definitely just remember he's missing u too, he isn't going to think you're insane for missing him ❤️❤️

[foxymoxynoona]

Hi, Foxy! I hope you're doing great! Really looking forward to your Penguin Koo story 😊

Your advice on criticism helped me a lot! I was feeling really shitty and insecure after one of my editors/publishers nitpicked my work to high hell (I heard that inexperienced editors shred your writing to bits, almost rewriting the whole thing to suit their style and need. Is that true?) I’ve worked with a fair number of demanding editors and none of them were this rude and micro-managing. It led me to seriously question my abilities, and I spiraled into a bad place. I felt like a fraud.

Well, today I decided I’ve had enough and sent a fuck you email saying this is not working, our expectations and preferences are too different for this, I’ll send you the advance payment you gave me, and please find another person who is better qualified for your needs etc. I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And I’m feeling like the laughing Tom Cruise meme lol. Now, I can really focus on my other project that I’ve mentioned to you before.

I really, really love this community and just wanted to share my struggles and foes with you guys here. If your job or boss is making you unhappy, just quit! I’ve quit a couple of jobs before due to nasty managers and bad company cultures. My anxiety and depression were direct consequences of one of my past high-pressure jobs and I still struggle with my mental health today. Once you’ve quit once and landed on your feet, you stop caring about shitty people and life starts to feel so much better. No job is worth your mental health and self-worth.

Wishing you a happy new week ❤️

That can be a symptom of an inexperienced editor sure but it could also just mean yours and their vision are completely misaligned so I say GOOD FOR YOU for identifying that! And getting yourself out of that situation!! If your vision and theirs don't mesh, you'd just be trying to write their style the whole time and they'd just be redoing it and UGH terrible situation.

I don't know if I'd mentioned this but I now have a second job as an editor officially and it's actually a real learning opportunity for me to recognize when and where to let the writer's voice still shine through. The goal shouldn't be to overwrite the writer's style unless there's a specific part of the assignment (like it has to fit this tone or structure and the writer just didn't.) But also if something needed extensive rewriting, it should go back to the writer with notes....

ANYWAY I'm very happy for you to be done with a bad situation!! I am terrible at that and it's great advice for people. WE can get really bogged down in viewing quitting as failure but it's NOT, it just means that situation was not the right path.

It sounds like you're already freer and happier so I"m very proud of you!

[oldcurse]

Socks will be ok! Luckily you remembered and seem like a caring pet owner, so I'm sure all will be forgiven. He was probably a little thirsty, but now I'm sure his hydration levels are back where they belong. You're human and you love Socks, he's a lucky cat. Sending love!

Thank you so much anon 🥺🥺 This kinda thing is just hard for me but I have to try and remember that even though I messed up this time, there have been 100s of times where I’ve done it right and made sure he had plenty of water and food and anything else he could possibly need. Taking care of him is the one thing I’m the best at so whenever I mess up even slightly I just spiral into a cycle of depression and it’s just very very hard for me to talk myself out of it but this def helps 🥰 Thank you so much again ❤️❤️