#it just gets a little cooler and windy

[beemintty]

AHHH sometimes I hate living on this side of the planet! It's not autumn here like it is on majority of the internet and I'm sad.... I'm sad in spring....

[neonovember]

Hello! I hope you’ve been doing okay! I saw that you had requests open and I also saw that you take requests for Carmen? If it’s totally okay of course to request for him! I got into the bear a few days ago and my brain has been filled with nothing but thoughts of Carmy. Would it be okay just requesting something that’s just Carmen being worried/concerned about the reader? He just always sees whenever there’s that tiredness to them when it looks like it’s a bad day, that slump in their shoulders that all too much reminds him of him a little sometimes, just bringing them into the office and his eyebrows are furrowed with that look of concern and his eyes the same, maybe unexpectedly just wrapping them in a hug (Your writing is so cute btw!) 💕

to carry and to bear

ask, it will be my infinite quest to fulfill! love this request so much and i loved writing is even more. i'm going to be so annoying when s2 comes out, especially since i love carmen's character so much! thank you for your request anon <3

carmen berzatto x reader

warnings: richie (yes he’s a warning), unresolved anxiety, horrible customers, fainting

word count: 5k (short for me lmao)

a/n: you know i love a character when i'm completing fics in under a day..lets pray this momentum keeps going

Wrapping yourself tight against the chilly wind of the unforgivable Chicago weather, you watch the city coming alive in the early morning as you walk down the concrete sidewalk of the Beef’s city corner.

Merchants and gazebo have begun to set up shop, their bright red vendor stands a stark contrast to the grey haze of the windy city. Corner stores and cafes have begun to uncover their blinds, dusting away the sliver of droplets that had long since evaporated after a heavy downpour the night before.

it’s slow though.

The mass of cars and yellow cabbed taxis haven’t yet filled the gravel roads, and the surging rush of traffic and uncontrollable road rage the beef windows have been accustomed to viewing hasn't filled the air.

The pinch of cold begins to itch against the cracks in your outerwear. Your trusted winter jacket and gloves had been left at the bottom of your laundry basket and instead you were forced to throw on a flimsy polyester jacket that provided absolutely no warmth. 

Your fingers are stuffed into your pocket, trying to hide them from the cold but it is no use. They shake against the freezing air of wind as you push past huddles of men chain smoking and passing coolers of steaming coffee on street corners.

You’re about to go ask for a cup, despite Carmen's disgruntled comments of their huddled group festering near the restaurant. They were a pack of wolves, and whilst Sydney's sandwiches had fended them off for a while, the hole in the Beef’s window was still fresh. Like a cycle, more and more had begun to trickle in from alleyways, leading to customers steering clear from the nearby streets. 

Carmen didn’t even like you walking to work this early, you get it, despite being daylight, Chicago had a way of defying social norms. You had paid some attention to the increase in robbing and attacks that had begun to frequent news reports.

It wouldn't have been a problem, walking was always voluntary for you as you had a perfectly fine working car that would drive you to and from your destination with as little as a rumble from its engine. And yet, that seemingly perfect car decided to break down on you this morning, leading to an overheated engine and a smoke filled hood.

So not only did you have to pay for a towing truck to drag away your car to an auto shop you couldn't afford to afford, but you were late. And you hated being late.

Not to mention your sister had called you late last night, asking to stay for a couple nights after her good for nothing boy-friend you would rather call a child had kicked her out after a fight.

She had rambled for nothing short of 2 hours after you had gotten home from the Beef late last night, and the pull of sleep had begun to weigh on you. The exhaustion and deprivation had written itself in the slug of your limbs and the slump of your shoulders.

You had to come in today, there were no rest days even if the Beef wasn't neck deep in debt and Cicero didn't have you all on a leash. Especially if you wouldn't allow yourself one. You had that in common with Carmen, you frequently ignored your own needs for your craft, the same insatiable passion and need for perfection driving you to exhaustion. 

The familiar chime of the Beefs wooden doors hit your ears, and you shake off the cold of the city streets, the Beef is warm and you're grateful, sighing as the heat of prepped ovens and oiled pans defrosts your face. 

It takes a second before you walk into the busy kitchen when the sound finally reaches you. The screeching sound of Richie's voice bickers with Tina about the next door convenient store being turned into a “pretentious hipster coffee shop that is legally selling dog water to unassuming Chicagoans”.

Dragging on and on about the invasion of gentrification that will soon take out all the good businesses that had been around since his grandfather had come from Sicily. Richie was not from Siciliy. In which Carmen mirrors your thoughts and yells that he is not Italian, and his obsession with the European country has been bordering on creepy.

Ebra is reciting an article about a culinary student that had gone rogue and murdered their entire class, giving pointers on how he himself had to patch up an entire unit of people stabbed by a bent corkscrew. The loud conversations and untethered yelling across the kitchen combines with the malfunctioning arcade that has begun to re-circuit the same sentence for 20 minutes now, digs a deep burrow into your temple.

You stand at the entrance of the kitchen, watching the commotion of early morning prep with a tight grimace, your head begins to vibrate a little, the start of a headache you won’t be relieved from spreading and you have to swallow down the exhaustion that begins to seep in at the sight. 

Sydney brushes past you, greeting you with a hello and one of her charming smiles before muttering about throwing that arcade machine out the back. You giggle and it hurts, but you do it anyway because, fuck, you would help her.

You step into the kitchen, and the crew each turn to greet you good morning as you walk past them into the locker bay stuffing your bag and shoes into the cabinet before quickly changing. 

Your phone reads 7am and you stuff it into the pocket of your hung jacket before slamming the locker shut. Carmen peeks his head around the corner, nodding at you as you put on your non-slip shoes, calling your name when you don't notice, you flinch before peering up and Carmen waves trying to get your attention.

“Mornin’ chef, didn’t think you were coming in” Carmen remarks, raising his eyebrows as he leans his shoulder against the wall. 

“Morning, yeah, sorry about that, uh- shit happened and I had to deal with it all at once. Won;t happen again” You reply, biting back a yawn, before letting your feet fall to the ground.

“It’s all good,” Carmen replies, nodding, wiping his hand on the white towel hanging on his shoulder that was already smudged with stains.

“Just shoot me a text or call next time, yeah?” Carmen replies 

“Will do chef” You reply, smiling, before peering out to see Sydney carrying a basket of  ingredients

“New recipe?” You ask, nodding towards Sydney, and Carmen nods, running a hand through his curls as he leans forward.

“Well call it trying something. Not yet finished, just needs some minor tweaks here and there” Carmen replies

“I can help Sydney out if you want?” You reply without a second thought.

You already had prep and a marinade you had to make for Cicero’s function he had conveniently told Carmen about the night before, but helping out was second nature to you, it was a part of this family's culture.

Carmen shakes his head, his eyes falling to your slumped shoulder, and the slow but tight blinks you tended to do when you were exhausted.

The second he had peered his head around the corner and saw the slug of your limbs he knew something was up, but he also knew he couldn't force you to relax, you were worse than him, always taking on so much, filling up your cup until it was overflowing.

“No, no, it’s alright, besides, that marinade isn’t going to be easy, I should be asking if you want me to help out” Carmen replies, chuckling, scratching his neck as you curve your mouth into that smile he loves so much. You could be half-dead and he still stares at you like you were the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen.

“I think I’ve got it handled. I remember having to make something similar back at Le Bleu, you just got to get the temperature right or the entire thing gets spoiled. Having more than one person just makes it more confusing. besides, don't you have that meeting with the vendor today?” You reply, and Carmen sighs, nodding

“Yep, hopefully this place looks stable enough to get him to sign, you know I can’t deal with corporate bullshit. Sydney should’ve met up with them, fuck any one other than me” Carmen replies, shaking his head as he fidgets with the hem of his apron.

Despite his numerous accolades, and world renowned talent, he only ever felt at nature in the kitchen. High function parties and elusive dinner bars were things he despised, feeling out of place despite it being thrown in his name.

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, you're the face of this place Carmen, you’ve transformed it, you oughta show them the Beef is the best investment they’ll make. Hell you’re the best investment they can make” You reply, and Carmen ears perk at your reply, smiling fondly at your comment. He didn't deserve your praise, and he hated the way the sound of your lips curving around his name shoots through him.

“Are y'all going to get to work or continue eye fucking?” Richie calls, as he passes by the locker bay, and Carmen immediately shakes his head muttering a fuck you before nodding to you, and heading back to his station. You get up from your seated position on the bench, dusting and ironing out the creases in your apron before mentally going over the things you had to complete before opening.

Prep vegetables, then start the veal stock for Cicero's marinade. You had to complete it early, since it had to be chilled for at least 5 hours, any less and the fat would congeal and turn into a complete mess you didn’t have time to fix.

You walk towards your station, stepping over sauce that had spilled onto the tile floors, this crew was amazing in their craft, but god were they messy. You bump shoulders with Sydney as you begin to grate and cut root vegetables and herbs, you have to force your eyes open, blinking several times before dipping your hand into an ice water bucket and wiping your face with it.

Sydney converses with you, and it wasn't that she was boring, in fact you both frequently spend time even out of the restaurant as friends. But you can’t even try to decipher what she says, just sounds coming out of her mouth that you pack away in order to get your job done. 

Just cut the vegetables, finish the stock, cut the vegetables, finish the stock, you repeat it like a mantra in your head, unaware at Sydney calling your name. She reaches forward, pressing a soft hand to your shoulder to get your attention.

“Hey, did you hear me?” Sydney replies, concern written across her features as she peers at your disoriented state.

“Huh? Sorry, what did you say?” You reply, avoiding her gaze. You feel her penetrate through you, pitying the exhaustion on your face, probably realising you were a shit chef who couldn't even handle a couple responsibilities.

“I was asking if you could grab me some of the sauce I made yesterday from the storage fridge. You alright? You seem a bit..” Sydney starts, before you cut her off quickly

“Just had a long night, didn't get much sleep” You reply, rubbing your eyes with a hand. What has gotten into you? You weren't foreign to a few sleepless nights and a few too many deadlines you had to meet, hell your entire college and culinary life had been exactly that.

“That’ll kill you, you know” Richie butts in, reaching for a crab cake Sydney had prepared before being swatted away with a wooden spoon.

“What?” You ask, already regretting asking Richie to elaborate on what was clearly some elaborated story he had got stored away

“Go without that good old shut eye a few nights too long and you'll start hallucinating shit, not fucking with you you, don’t you know about the Russian sleep experiment-?” Richie rambles

“Ah here we go” Sydney replies, rolling her eyes 

“You think because you went to Paris or whatever prestigious tight ass school you know everything? It’s real, happened right after World War 2, Russians got a bunch of people and just made them not sleep for like months, they starting turning into fuckin' aliens and shit-” Richie continues, ignoring Sydney's sly remarks about Richie's facebook usage.

“Richie c’mon, you know that shits made up” You reply

“Don’t matter, didn’t I tell you about my week long bender during college? Starting seeing my great aunt from the corner of my eye, and I swear she is still there-” Richie replies before getting cut off my Carmen calling his name

“Stop distracting my chefs Cousin” 

You chuckle, shaking your head as Richie mutters about the fall of democracy and wipe your hands across your towel.

“I’ll go get your sauce Syd” You reply, and she smiles in gratitude as you turn towards the storage room. The cold air of the fridge wakes you up a little, and you rest your head against the door of the storage fridge, sighing in frustration. Talking to Richie was exhausting in itself, and when you were already running only fumes and second hand smoke you felt like it took the last bit of energy you had left.

You grab the container of sauce written with “DO NOT TOUCH” on its front, it's wrapped in cling film, with no lid and you're careful not to drop it everywhere. It wasn’t heavy, per se, just filled to the brim and without careful steps it was close to tipping out. You walk out of the storage room carefully, before turning towards your station.

“Corner!” You yell, twisting around the corner of the kitchen, before you slam straight into a tall body, jerking back and inadvertently spilling the sauce all across the kitchen floor and onto your shoes. You feel it sink into your socks and drip down your apron, eye twitching in frustration as Marcus starts apologising profusely, you ignore him, dropping down to your knees and reaching for paper towels. You start wiping away the sauce, as Marcus drops down to your level and tries to help, you shake our head looking up at him.

“Stop, Marcus, just stop. I can do it” You reply

“But-” Marcus protests

“We don't need two chefs to clean up a one person job, alright? You need to finish prep” You reply, letting the towels soak up the sauce. You grieve for Sydney, not all of it had spilt, but a quarter of a container wasn’t enough to get through the morning rush, let alone the entire day.

You ignore the spilt sauce all over your clothes, you didn’t have time to change now, rushing back to your station before telling Sydney about the spill

“You serious? I thought I could leave early today, got a friend's birthday” Sydney replies, pinching the bridge of her nose.

You instantly feel guilty, you should've been more careful, and now Sydney would have to pay for it.

“Hey, I got it, let me take that new recipe off your plate. That gives you enough time to get to the party?” You reply

Sydney looks up, rising her eyebrows “No, no I couldn’t possibly ask you to” 

“Nonsense, I owe you anyway, remember when I had to leave halfway through the morning to get my sister?” You reply, with a tired smile before Sydney wraps her arms around you, you rub a hand across her back. You can’t really feel her arms around you, it’s like all your senses are delayed, you ignore it as you get back to work, now with another task on your plate.

You finish chopping the vegetables after a short while, usually you were the fastest in the house, but today you lagged behind, finally carrying the vegetables to Carmen who looked at you strange, his eyes staring through you, he swallowed like he was going to say something as you walked away, before stopping and continuing stirring the stock on the stove

By the time the Beef opens, you're still elbow deep in work, you've stayed silent most of the time, waving off Marcus’s apology and instead working, not stopping since you started. You skipped breakfast, and you hadn't gotten a chance to eat, and just when you're about to make yourself something, Richie calls your name from the front counter.

You walk towards the front of the Beef, wiping stains on your apron to look a little presentable to the outside world. Richie stands at the register, flicking a pen in his hand, a look of annoyance on his face.

“What's up?” You ask Richie, as a tall man dressed down in a polo sweater and khakis stares down at you in anger. He’s familiar, someone you had served when Richie had to take his smoke break, and he scrutinises you as you smile at him.

That’s the only way you could communicate with these people, any hint of anger and you’d be written of as angry and unable to control your emotions, you lost your last job because you defended yourself anyway.

“This guy said he came in and you made him something he apparently didn't like, but finished anyway” Richie replies, a knowing look passes between you both and you sigh, you don't have time for this. 

“Morning Sir, May I ask what’s the problem” You ask politely

“You suggested to me a dish from the menu, alright, YOU, not me, so don't go blaming me for this, and look what I got, not only does it have nuts, which i hate, it's spicy. Way too spicy, I want a refund, NOW” The man replies, seething, his yelling catches the attention of other patrons, and Richie begins to reach under the table for a bat.

“Well, you finished it all so I don’t know what you-” You begin before the man cuts you off loudly

“Do you think I give a shift what you think? Huh? Jesus fucking Christ, see you just need to do what I fucking say, not argue. Give me a refund before I get you fired from this shit hole you dumb stupid-” The man yells, loudly before Carmen's booming voice cuts him off

“I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you” Carmen replies, clenching his jaw in way that told you he was trying to hold back the rage from spilling out

“Who the fuck are you?” The man asks

“I own this shit hole you piece of shit, and if you don't get the fuck out of my restaurant I'm going to break every single bone in your face with my bare hands". 

“Excuse me?”

Carmen laughs, shaking his head before smiling at the man

“I told you”

Carmen drags the man by his collar, throwing him onto the sidewalk and dragging his body to the alleyway, you fear what he is going to do and Richie raises his eyebrows in astonishment.

“Well shit cousin, you ain't a pussy after all” Richie mutters under his breath

You can faintly hear the sound of splitting skin and the crack of bone, before Carmen storms back into the restaurant, eyeing all the patrons who are following his every move.

“Y'all got that? Anyone mess with my people hear and your walk out on a fucking stretcher” Carmen replies still seething with anger, before Richie claps loudly as Carmen walks back behind the desk.

“Call a fucking ambulance” Carmen replies, rolling his eyes at Richie before he walks towards you, the the tension immediately leaving him as he find your safe and away from that man.

“You alright? He didn't hurt you or anything?” Carmen asks in concern, his eyes darting across your body to see any imagined injuries

“It seems you should be asking him that question” You reply, nudging towards the alley of the Bear, chuckling as you shake your head.

“You didn't have to do that you know, iIcould have-” You start

Carmen looks down at you in concern, shaking his head as he places his hand on you shoulder

“Could've what? He was screaming in your face and I wasn't about to let him think that shit was okay, god, how could you not react?” Carmen replies, looking down at you in concern, shaking his head as he places a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m just so busy, I still- Fuck, i still got to get Cicero's marinade in the fridge, and i need to start on Syd’s broth” You mutter pressing your fingertips to your temples.

“What? You’re doing Sydney’s load as well? Hey, you need to sit down a second” Carmen replies, as you begin to walk back towards the kitchen, with Carmen hot on your heels, asking you to stop and turn to him.

You hear him call your name, but the mountain of tasks that were now even later due to that customer had begun to seize your consciousness.

All you could focus on was the dishes you needed to make and the pain in your temples that had begun to spread down, your vision getting fuzzy around the edges as you try and shake yourself awake.

“Dammit, listen to me! Stop cutting fucking vegetables and listen to me” Carmen yells at you for the first time, twisting your body to face him and you spit out in anger

“What?!” 

“What’s gotten into you today?” Carmen replies, yelling

And you don't know why, but that question breaks something in you, and you can't help but let out a short chuckle. Carmen looks down at you in horror, trying to reach for you, to catch you when the inevitable happens and you look at him once before it does.

Before your vision begins to blur and the edges begin to burn like a flame, you try and catch yourself, but it’s too late and you fall into Carmen's arms, wrapped up against his chest as you crash.

Carmen gathers you in his arms, his heart breaking beneath his breasts, holding his sweet girl in his arms as the streams of tears dampen his shirt. The rest of the crew watch on in concern, and Carmen shoes them away as he carries your unconscious body to the office.

“What the fuck Cousin?” Richie calls

“Hey, hey, is she alright? What -what happened?” Sydney replies in horror as she watches Carmen carry you from the kitchen. 

“What happened was, ya'll did fuck all when she was practically breaking down trying to finish everyone else's fucking mess. What happened? Are you fucking serious? If i wasn't there, she would’ve fainted into a burning skillet of your fucking vegetables Sydney” Carmen replies, shaking his head, the entire crew goes silent, the only sounds coming from the beeps of ovens and stove tops, and the sizzling of burning food.

Carmen goes quiet, as he assesses your state, there is something unwritten in the way he holds you, and he blinks tight, his face twitching a little as if he had to make sure you were in his arms, the only place he wanted you to be.

“Get back to work” Carmen replies, quietly, a stark contrast to his rage from before, the crew has never seen him like this, his eyes and focus on you, as if he has been seized by this responsibility and dying need to protect you. He can hardly breathe, his arms shaking as he stares down at your sullen and tired face.

“We need-” Marcus starts before Carmen shakes his head

“No, no, enough. Sydney will hold down the fort, this is my responsibility. Get. back to work.” Carmen replies

—-

Carmen wastes no time to gently place your body onto the scuffed office couch, pressing a hand to your head, before reaching for an ice cold container of water, dipping a towel into it before gently pressing it to your forehead.

Carmen shakes his head in anger, he should've seen this coming, he should've noticed from the slump of your shoulder and your one word answers that you were stretching yourself too thin.

Carmen tortures himself as he replays the moments before you fainted into his arms. The way your features twisted into a sob, and the lasts shred of resolve snapped, and you had reached for him, you had reached for him.

You had reached for Carmen when you fell, and something in him broke when he had caught you.

Carmen had been used to his own self-destruction, but as he rested his thumb, rubbing circles and wiping away the tears on your face, he wished himself to change, not just for him, but for you. How could he? How could you be such a poor example to you? This was his own fault, and the reality of that conclusion twists like a knife to his gut.

His sweet girl, his Sunshine, who had thought the needs of this goddamn sandwich shop was more important than her own. You begin to stir in his arms, and the tension and shake of his arms begins to release as you wake up, Carmen eases you into consciousness when you begin to panic.

“Hey hey, I’m right here, you're okay, you're okay” Carmen replies softly, and you squeeze your eyes tightly, trying to understand what had happened and why you felt like your body was filled with lead.

"What, what happened” You reply, looking across the location of the office.

“You fainted, and I carried you to the office because you are not going back into that kitchen” Carmen replies, sitting up from his slumped position.

You stay quiet,  confusion lacing your features as you shake your head. You fainted? How did that even happen? You had never fainted in your entire life.

Carmen peers at you, his eyes dancing across your face as your silence frightens him, he wouldn't even recognise you, your usual bubbly, and incredibly chirpy self was not replaced by someone who was so exhausted they couldn’t stay conscious.

“You gotta talk to me baby girl, please, look at me, you can tell me, you can tell me anything” Carmen replies, softly, caressing your hand with his thumb when it begins to shake.

You look up at him, his expression of worry and concern causing your features to twist,

“I um, I’m just a little tired” You reply, the beginning of tears choking you, causing your words to rush out as  you try to stop yourself but it is fruitless, and Carmen eyebrows kind of pinch, he kind of frowns a little as he looks at you in that way.

It's all it takes before you sob, and sink into the coach. Carmen gathers you once again in his arms, and scoops your legs so that they lay across his thighs, and your head rests against his collarbone.

“I know baby, I know, I’m sorry, Oh honey I am so sorry” Carmen replies, rubbing your back as you let the last of your resolve sink into his chest, the cry of your tears leaving you speechless.

You can’t stop crying, the cup spilling over and making a big whole mess, snot and tears and heartache and exhaustion dirties Carmen's chef whites and you can't help but grip onto him like he is the only thing tethering you to Earth.

You don’t have to tell Carmen then, he knew the second you walked in, and he knows now when you hold him. There's a certain grief Carmen feels when he looks at you and sees himself, and in a way this is for Carmen too.

You sit like this for a while, you and Carmen. Wrapped in his arms as you lay across his lap, long after the tears had run dry, where you are left with hiccups and the soothing touch of Carmen's hand across your back.

It feels like you two are the only people on earth. Everything is Carmen; its all you smell, all you feel against your skin, all you hear as he whispers into you ear. No one dares to step into the office doors, even when an hour ticks by, even when the trickle of customers turns into a downpour and the orders never end, the family knows that you need this, that your health was better than money, or happy customers and fuck all.

Even after you have cried your eyes out, the responsibility of work begins to weigh on your body, you still had so much to do with so little time

“But the marinade, and- and Sydney's” You begin before Carmen cuts you off with a soft squeeze.

“Richie’ll handle it, and if he doesn't Cicero can go fuck himself. You really think I’m going to let that override you right now? Just forget about the kitchen alright, can you do that for me, pretty girl?” Carmen replies

You nod, the burden that had exhausted you to sickness lifted from your shoulders. You look towards the clock and realise the vendors were coming soon to meet with Carmen, something he couldn’t miss.

“The vendors, aren't they-”

“They came in 3 hours early, it's why it took me so long to get to you when that asshole was throwing a fit” Carmen replies, knowing what you were asking for.

You peek at him in question “Well?”

“They signed.” Carmen replies, rolling eyes and smiling at your delighted squeal

“What did I tell you? Carmen Berzatto is more than-” You start before a yawn stretches through you.

“Alright, alright, enough talking from you. When’s the last time you ate?” Carmen asks

You stop and scratch your head, trying to think and you laugh a little when you can’t remember.

“I don't know” You reply

Carmen’s eye twitches, and he smiles down at you before easing you off his thighs and onto the coach. 

“What- what are you doing?” You ask, not even trying to hide the sadness in your voice. You already miss the heat of his chest warm against your cheek.

Carmen smiles softly as he looks down at you, threaded a hand through his head as he wipes down the creases on his apron.

“I’m making you something”

“What? No it’s- it’s okay I’ll eat at family” You reply, reaching a hand out to him

Carmen reaches for your palm, pressing a soft kiss on your the skin of your knuckles before reaching down to kiss the top of your head.

“No you need to eat now, alright? You're going to sleep the rest of the day, and then, and then, you're coming back to my place so I can keep an eye on you. You gonna listen to me or protest?” Carmen replies, eyebrow raised as he crosses his arms. His voice drops down an octane, like it was a command, and you have to bite back the desire floating in your stomach at the way he looks down with his eyes all heavy from above. 

“Okay, alright, whatever you say Chef” You reply with a smile, and Carmen sinks his teeth into his bottom lip when you say it like that.

“Just wait a sec” Carmen replies, and as he is about to leave you call for him again

“What are you even making, half the ingredients are gone” 

“It’s no problem, it’s your recipe anyway” Carmen replies, with a hint of a smile on his face before he leaves the room. It takes you a while, half because you're exhausted and the other half because you're hungry before the realisation hits you that he's made a recipe for you, about you. 

You can't help the smile that stretches across your face, goddamnit Carmen Berzatto, and you say you aren't a romantic.

[augustinewrites]

@sunasbabie — for last year’s bday, christmas, and new years gift bcs ily or whatever 🙄

suna used to have a really nice denim jacket.

it was made of black denim, bought from some american brand that cost him way more than he’d care to admit. he loved that jacket— he’d worn it over t-shirts in the summer and thick hoodies in the winter. he’d been wearing it on the day of onigiri miya’s grand opening and the day he’d signed with ejp.

he’d also happened to be wearing it the night he met you.

he remembers seeing you the night of atsumu’s new year’s eve party. remembers thinking that your dress was highly impractical because it was sequined and backless but damn— you looked good.

and no matter what osamu thinks he remembers, it did not take him so long to talk to you because he was feeling shy. he was just giving the other guys at the party a chance, is all. he’s nice like that.

atsumu, the drunken idiot that he was, had ended up dragging everyone up onto the roof of his apartment for the countdown. and you, idiot that you were, started shivering 15 seconds into the count, suna watching as you’d rubbed your arms for warmth and and suddenly turned to face, as if you’d felt him watching.

with 30 seconds to midnight and a shove from osamu, he’s closing the distance between you both to say hi. you have his jacket draped over your shoulders by midnight. just because he’s nice like that, not because he’s silently marking his territory and telling potential suitors to fuck off.

he even lets you leave with it, but not before exchanging numbers so you can return it as soon as possible. which you do, showing up at his place the next afternoon, his jacket washed and folded neatly in your arms, offering to buy him lunch as a thanks.

you’re the one wearing it, four months later, when he asks you to be his girlfriend. because ‘it’s just so windy out, rin. you don’t want my dress flying up, right?’

on cooler days, he’s almost sure you forego your own jacket just so you can steal his, and he lets you. you wear it draped over your shoulders when you walk back to his place after a movie. you use it as a blanket during longer car rides. there’s this fatal bug in suna’s system, and it doesn’t let him tell you ‘no.’

you’re wearing it the day you move in. he wasn’t going to make you unpack all your clothes just to find a jacket to wear to lunch.

you’d spent three years stealing that jacket. the denim is soft and well-worn, with a tear or two in the hem, but you love it. and he loves that it still smells like your perfume on the odd day he gets to wear it himself.

maybe that’s why it hurt so much, watching you brush your fingers over it as you pack away your clothes. you’d left every every t-shirt of his you’d slept in, every hoodie you’d claimed, in what was now his closet again.

but for this, you hesitate. a dull ache throbs between his ribs as he watches you hug the fabric to your chest, eyes fluttering shut.

“just take it,” he’d told you quietly from the doorway. “i don’t want it anymore.”

suna used to have a really nice denim jacket.

_____

it’s almost six months later when you call him for the first time since the breakup.

suna has to do a double take when he sees your contact. mostly because three in the morning and no one should be awake at this hour, but also because he can’t believe it’s you.

his brain and his heart are at a crossroads. he shouldn’t answer. you probably hit the wrong contact. you have other friends in the city, surely you would call one of them if you needed something.

but there’s that flaw again, and suna hits accept.

“hello?”

“rin? rin! hi.”

he sits up in the darkness at the sound of your slurring. “are you drunk?”

“no,” you lie, even hiccuping a little. “i just…i really just wanted to tell you—”

you cut yourself short, sighing. “that you did really good during your game last week.”

he raises his brows slightly, chuckling. “you were watching?”

“no,” you say again, much too quickly. “i just…heard.”

“i know what you sound like when you’re lying,” he reminds you, sliding out of bed and pulling on a hoodie. “and i also know what you sound like when you’re drunk. stay where you are, i’m gonna pick you up.”

you send him your location right away, and he drives over. he calls you to let you know he’s there, because he’s sure you’re not gonna hear your text tone, and when you step out of the bar—

he sees that you’re wearing his jacket.

that damn black denim jacket, american label and all. it hangs off your shoulders loosely, and when suna gets out of the car, he grabs the collar, pulling you closer and pretending not to notice the way you inhale sharply. ignoring your wide-eyed stare as he adjusts the jacket, doing up the buttons because he knows you’re gonna complain about the night chill.

“c’mon,” he says, pulling open the passenger door. “get inside, dumbass.”

the cute pout that downturns your lips is just like suna remembers. he closes the door after you, rounding to the other side of the car.

“did you tell your friends you’re getting home safe?” he asks as he reaches across you to put on your belt. “how come none of them came to get you?”

“oh, uh, yeah i called them but they weren’t answering,” you tell him. “i’ll call them now, just in case.”

suna watches as you fumble with your phone, tapping back and forth through the phone app until he grabs it from your hands with a sigh. he has no idea which one of your friends you’d called, so he goes to your recents.

only to see that he’s the only one you’d called tonight.

[greenandhazy]

I just queued up a post about sustainable fabrics and started to write something in the tags before realizing that it was drifting away from the point

but PSA: with the caveat that the most sustainable item of clothing is the one that's already in your closet, I would suggest that if you are someone who struggles with temperature regulation, you should seriously consider adding more linen and wool to your wardrobe. determining the "true" environmental impact of various fibers is v complicated, but for a start they both use significantly less water than conventional cotton, and imo the improvement they've had on my quality of life is well worth the substitution.

linen and wool are by far the best fabrics for temperature regulation--the former is lighter and more breathable than cotton and will keep you cooler in the summer, the latter is breathable but heavier and more insulating and will keep you warmer in the winter, even if it gets wet. (there's actually a saying among people who hike/do winter sports that "cotton kills" because you are more prone to hypothermia in cotton undergarments than in wool.) do not even get me started on linen/wool vs polyester.

this is something that I think is especially important given higher cost of heating lately, higher temperatures due to climate change, and the number of people who have health conditions or medications that make them sensitive to heat. this isn't to say that your clothing/bedding choices will compensate for a livable environment, but as someone who used to wake up 2-3 times a week sweating in synthetic sheets for four months of the year, and shiver in an inadequately heated room for another three, these little swaps can seriously make extreme temperatures a little more bearable.

that being said, wool and linen do tend to be more expensive, so if you're looking to get the most bang for your buck, I would recommend starting with:

linen sheets, even just a fitted sheet (some companies do sell them solo). overheating while sleeping is literally the worst.

linen pants, especially if you work in a job that doesn't allow you to wear shorts. linen shirts are also nice, but even cotton/poly shirts tend to be thinner than pants and might already be short-sleeved/you can roll up the sleeves, so the impact of pants will be more immediate.

a chunky wool sweater. avoid cashmere, and merino unless it has cables--these are very soft, lovely wools, but they're generally pretty light and made more for their softness than their insulation properties. for maximum warmth, you don't want a thin "office sweater," you want a "my Irish gran knit this in her cottage on the windy coast" sweater.

wool socks. these are more likely to keep you dry and warm if you're walking through slush or rain, in addition to just general walking-around-the-house warmth. for these I would say the type of wool matters a little less, generally because you do want socks that are somewhat lightweight so you can wear them in shoes. and just FYI you're also more likely to see wool socks blended with silk, nylon, or spandex for strength and elasticity, so don't drive yourself up the wall trying to find the mythical 100% wool sock. even hobby knitters tend to blend wool with something because of the amount of friction that wears on socks.

again! the most sustainable type of clothing is what you already own. but some of these are the kinds of small swaps you can definitely make over time, and you might find them genuinely helpful.

[blade-ranger-301]

Piston Peak

So, as mentioned previously in the character sheet, any of my works, art, fanfics, etc will all be based in the UK 🇬🇧

This is just a headcanon that I have. There's not much logic or evidence to back this up or support it as canon. It's just a fun little headcanon of mine. Blade, to me, would make such a good Brit. He's got that morning grumpiness, the intense stoicism, the bad habit of saying "alright" even though he might not be, and he would definitely swear like a brit too. But also, he's hardworking and down to earth.

So, with that, Piston Peak is going to be set in England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 I've not yet decided if the park will have it's own geographical location or if it's going to replace an already existing one.

Here is the official map for Pistion Peak:

Piston Peak will still have all the features from the movie; V6 Valley, Whitewall Falls, the small basin where the PPAA team is located, etc, but outside of V6 Valley and around the outskirts will be the rest of the park. It will contain features such as lakes, rivers, reservoirs, mountains, hills, forests, and moorlands.

There will also be some camping grounds/camping resorts. And small, cute villages.

Think of this aesthetic:

These geographical features, and the appearance of these features, have taken inspiration from three irl National Parks: The Lake District, Peak District, and Snowdonia National Park.

These three parks hold a special place in my heart. They're my favourite parks and are also the three parks that I've visited most.

The Lake District

The Lake District is located in the north-west of England. It's famously known for its 16 lakes, given it's name. It's also known for the highest mountain in England - Scarfell Pike. It's also the location where Graphite was first discovered before they mass produced Graphite pencils in Europe.

The terrain here is much greener than the Peak District, and is a wide mixture of farmers fields, mountains, hills, moorland, forests, rivers and lakes.

The Peak District

The Peak District is located in the northern-central part of England, sitting directly beside the city of Manchester on it's Eastern side.

This park is mostly full of hills and sloped mountains, covered in moorland grass. There's also more reservoirs here, the most famous being Derwent Dam, known for being a popular training ground for Lancaster bombers when they were testing out the bouncing bomb.

It also has one of the most beautiful drives through the park too. Snake Pass, on the west side of the park coming from Manchester is a well-known road, known for its winding and "snake-like" appearance as you wrap around mountains. You actually follow a river upstream in a valley and arrive at 2 dams. It's also known for its high number of road accidents too.

Snowdonia

Snowdonia National Park, better known as "Eryri" (Er-ru-ree), is located on the north-western side of Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬����󠁿. It's also the biggest National Park in Wales, and the 3rd biggest in the UK. It's also home to Wales' biggest mountain, Mount Snowdon. Around half of the park homes about 9 mountain ranges.

I tend to visit this park the most often, and I also just spent a week-long holiday here within the National park, but towards the far West where the borders of the park meets the sea.

So for this headcanon to work, we're gonna need some fires 🔥🔥🔥 otherwise there'd be absolutely no point in this.

Now don't get me wrong, we're nothing like the US. US temperatures can be between at least 30 to 40°c in the summer, we often have summers around the low to mid 20's. We may even get as much as the late 20's to 30°C during a heatwave.

We don't get quite as hot as other countries but we have insanely high humidity which prevents things from cooling down, even in the shade or at night, due to the amount of warm moisture in the air - so it actually feels hotter than it is.

The UK has a wet, windy and cooler climate BUT we do have our fair share of wildfires.

The UK Forestry Commision released a report that covers a period between 2009/10 to 2021/22 of wildfires recorded in the UK.

Between this 12 year period, around 360,000 individual wildfires were recorded, and 79,000 acres of land had been impacted.

The majority of individual fires were classed as being "small", but there was 12,000 classed as "primary" big fires.

4,700 fires affected National Parks, and 11,000 impacted "Sites of Special Scientific Interest".

The most affected areas of land were agricultural land, woodland, and residential areas.

Throughout the report, there seemed to be a steady increase in fire incidents throughout the 12 years.

I even had my own first hand experience with a wildfire. In August 2023, there was a wildfire on a field which backs onto my back garden fence at the rear of the house. The grass fire initially started down by the brook right beside my house, very likely started by teenagers, either by a lit cigarette or a vape. Had the wind blown in a different direction, it would've reached us in a few minutes.

Luckily for me, the fire was blown East and it travelled away from my house and along the side of the field. The farmer at the time was growing straw that had since been harvested, so all the tiny straw spikes in the ground were dry and helped to fuel this fire and it spread quickly.

There were flames that did reach at least 8ft in places, but it was the heat and speed of the fire that was the most concerning. It took multiple fire engines and two tractors with flattening equipment behind them to eventually smother the fire, just as it reached the back garden fence of someone's house.

Just witnessing this made me realise how quick these grass fires can spread and just how scary it was if the wind had simply blown the other way.

And with that, comes my conclusion. With the facts and figures I've discussed in this post, I do have a little bit of logic to go with this headcanon of mine. It won't quite sit right with the film but it's not complete nonsense at least XD

Hope you enjoyed reading it :)

[johnsbleu]

Wait omg could u write a little snippet it of like when reader was prego and she was having those hormone lash outs and john trying to be understanding but so confused one minute shes crying the next shes mad

ask and you shall receive.

under the cut is something i just whipped up real quick. might not be exactly what you wanted but i wrote it with the amount of time i had. if i had more time, i probably wouldn't have stopped until it was 10k lmao

This is not the current timeline. It's from when she was pregnant with Ronan. John's POV, 2.3k words

“Okay, you got your list?”

Y/N holds it up and smiles, tilting her head back, “Thank you for going.”

I look out the window and see the rain coming down in thick windy sheets, “No reason you need to get all wet.”

“I can think--” she puts her head down and laughs, “Never mind. I shouldn’t finish that sentence.”

“Well, I think you should.” I say, and she looks at me. I give her a quick kiss, “I’ll be back. I love you. Call me if you need anything.”

She nods her head and salutes, “You got it, Wick.”

I take one last look at her before I pull the hood up on my coat and run out to the car.

__

I got more than what she wanted, but with it raining so much, I know that neither of us will want to leave the house. It’s the perfect weather to just lounge around and watch movies, plus it’s a little on the cooler side, so there’s currently a crock-pot in the kitchen full of chili. We’re going to have a date night in and watch a movie and each some chili. I can’t wait. I love my wife’s chili recipe too.

“I’m back,” I say, looking up to see Y/N coming into the kitchen, “I got everything on your list, and then some. I got…the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and whipped cream cheese.”

Y/N hums loudly and reaches for it as I watch her in curiosity, “I’ve been thinking about this lately. Baby girl wants some spicy food. I love Cheetos, so I thought it would be good to try this.”

I watch as she opens the cream cheese, which she specified had to be whipped, not regular, then she scoops some of it up with a Cheeto. She takes a bites and chews a few times before scooping up some more. She scrunches her face up and looks at me, still chewing.

“Well?”

“Um, not really that great. I mean, it’s good, but it’s not as great as I thought it would be.” she says, scooping up more, “I’ll still eat it though.”

I laugh as I reach in and get a few more things out that she wanted. I set the ice cream down on the counter and smile proudly, but her face falls which makes my stomach sink.

“This is the kind you always get, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she says in a soft and quiet voice, “But it’s not the…it’s fine.”

I furrow my brow when I see her tearing up, “Baby, talk to me.”

“It’s not the kind I wanted,” she says, absentmindedly playing with the wrapper, and I stand there staring for a moment in pure confusion.

She is absolutely not the type of person to cry over the wrong ice cream. She’s the type to eat it anyway since it was bought. This isn’t the first time I’ve accidentally bought the wrong thing, but she’s never made a fuss about it.

“It’s the chocolate and peanut butter kind that you like,” I say, walking over to stand next to her, “You just wrote ice cream, so I thought--”

“Oh, right, it’s my fault! You had one job and it was to get the ice cream I wanted!” she says, then she puts her head down and cries harder, “Sorry! I’m not mad! I’m just…I’m a little sad. I didn’t want this kind.”

I place my hand on her back, “I can go back and exchange it. That’s no big deal.”

“No, it’s okay,” she says, despite the fact that she’s fully sobbing now.

She’s sobbing. Over ice cream. Surely there’s something else going on.

I don't know what to do so I just stand there like an idiot for a minute.

“I just really wanted that one brand we talked about, you know, the one that we tried.”

I furrow my brow as I look around, then it clicks, “Are you talking about when we went grocery shopping and they had samples?”

“Yeah!”

“Baby, that was over a month ago,” I say, but it just makes her cry harder. I immediately dig through the bag for the receipt and grab the carton of ice cream, “I’ll fix this. I’ll go get it for you right now.”

She shakes her head, “No, it’s okay. Really. I’m just being a baby.”

“No, you want what you want. I’ll be right back.” I kiss the top of her head and grab my keys off the table before quickly rushing back out to the car.

What my baby wants, she’s going to get.

I’m not even halfway down the street when I hear my phone ringing in my pocket. I dig it out and hold it to my ear.

“Everything okay?”

“You don’t have to go, John. It’s fine. I was just having a moment. I’m sorry.” she sniffles and laughs a little, “I’m sorry.”

I laugh, “It’s okay. I’m literally down the street from the grocery store. It’ll take me 10 minutes. I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll make sure to get the kind you want. What flavor?”

“Same flavor,” she says, and I start to laugh, “Just a different brand.”

“Okay, my love. I’ll be right back.”

I hear the smile in her voice when she says goodbye to me.

__

Despite the whole ice cream debacle a few days ago, things have been good. Y/N found a piece of fabric with a color she really liked for the baby’s room, so we ran into the hardware store to get it color matched. The problem was that they don’t do that at our tiny shop in Mill Neck. We were instructed to head to the big hardware store in Oyster Bay instead, which turned out to be good because I actually needed some new bolts for a few things. With a baby in the house soon, I want to make sure not a single thing falls off the walls. All of the furniture will be anchored to the wall in her room as well.

I’m not taking any chances.

“Excuse me,” a woman says, and I look over my shoulder at her, “Do you know where I can find water pumps?”

I shake my head, “No, I’m sorry. I’m not sure where that would be. I…I don’t work here.”

She laughs, touching my bicep, “I am so sorry. I just saw the dark blue shirt and assumed. I’m so sorry.”

“No problem,” I laugh, then I look up at the hanging signs above us that say what’s in each aisle, “If I had to guess, I would say bathroom stuff would be a few aisles down.”

“Okay, thank you.” she says, then she walks away.

I turn back to continue looking through the bolts, searching the size I need.

“What was that about?” Y/N asks, and I look over at her.

“Oh, she just wanted to know where water pumps would be.”

Y/N scoffs, “Water pumps. Sure.”

“Yeah, you know those pumps you put in your basement to get out water. I assume her basement flooded with all the rain we’ve had.”

“Yeah,” she says, then she scoffs again and looks at me, “I just knew this was going to happen.”

I furrow my brow and turn to face her, “What? They can’t do the paint here either? I guess we can go to Jimmy. I’m sure he knows someone who--”

“I just knew that once I got a belly and you would immediately not be interested in me anymore. I just knew you’d start to look at other women. You probably want a divorce."

I shake my head because I am confused. I’m standing here with boxes of bolts and screws in my hands, staring at my wife, so beyond confused. I just went on a 15 minute rant this morning about how beautiful she is, and I certainly didn’t go easy on her this morning when we were intimate. She’s sexy! She’s the sexiest she’s ever been, which is saying a lot because I’m fairly positive she’s the sexiest woman on this planet and that’s not a lie. I’m insanely attracted to her. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself before and I really can’t now.

“What are you talking about?” I tilt her chin up and look into her bloodshot eyes, “Honey, I am not looking at anyone but you.”

"Yeah, for now."

I tilt her chin up again, "You were there this morning. I know you know how crazy I am about you. I love you more than anything in this world, Y/N. You know this."

Y/N sniffles and closes her eyes as tears run down her cheeks, “I’m crazy.”

“You’re not crazy,” I say, bringing her into my arms, “You’re…”

She leans back and looks at me, narrowing her eyes, “I’m what?”

Her emotions have been all over the place. I’m not an idiot. I know what’s going on. Sure, when she freaked out about the ice cream the other day, I was confused at first, but then it all clicked into place. She’s hormonal and going through a lot right now. She cried over a laundry soap commercial on TV the other day, she got furious when they got our order wrong at lunch, which I will admit made me mad too since I reiterated many times that she didn’t want shrimp--she’s allergic and pregnant. She’s feeling everything on a much more intense level. I honestly feel bad. My wife always has such a cool demeanor and she’s always just relaxed and hanging out, but this past week has been rough!

“You’re feeling a lot of things right now and you’re not sure what to do with all those emotions.” I say as gently as I can since I don’t want to upset her, “Your body is going through a lot of changes right now.”

“I’m crazy, John.”

I laugh, “You’re not crazy, peach. You’re pregnant and feeling all of these emotions at once. It’s normal.”

I assume it’s normal. I don’t really know. I remember Tess was very emotional when she was pregnant.

Y/N stands back and exhales sharply, looking up at me, “I’m not gonna scare you away, am I?”

“Hell no,” I say, and she instantly smiles, “You could never scare me away. Not sure how thrilled you’ll be, but you’re stuck with me, peach. Forever.”

“Forever? Ugh, how horrid,” she jokes, then she wraps her arms around my waist, “I promise I’m getting better.”

I laugh, “You’re only six months pregnant. We have a few more months to go, so don’t make any promises.”

“Hey!” she playfully whacks my arm, “I’m trying! Give me a break. By the way, you did this to me!”

I laugh when she gestures to her belly, “Oh, I know. I actually like the little attitude you’ve been giving lately. Well, when it’s directed elsewhere. Not when it’s directed at me.”

“I’m trying not to direct it towards you, I hope you know that.”

Nodding my head, I smile, “I do.”

Y/N smiles, then it quickly fades, “I have to pee. Right this minute!”

I watch as she waddles a little and I grab the things I need before walking up to stand in line. I look around after a few minutes and see her coming back over to me with a huge smile on her face despite her red eyes. She links her arm around mine and tilts her head back to kiss me when I lean down. We walk up when it’s our turn, and the cashier glances at Y/N and furrows her brow a little when she sees her bloodshot eyes.

“Oh,” Y/N laughs, moving back a little to smooth her sweater over her growing belly, “Pregnancy hormones. I’m crying over everything. I cried over a laundry commercial the other day. The one with the little teddy bear. The little girl lost it but her dad found him, and he was all dirty, so he…took it and washed him and gave him…back.  I can’t even talk about it without getting choked up, oh my god!”

I look at her when she puts her head down, and I wrap my arm around her shoulder to pull her close. The cashier laughs and tells Y/N she’s not alone and that she was very emotional with her first baby too.

After I pay for our things, I take the bag and wrap my arm around Y/N’s shoulder as we walk out to the car. I smile when she watches me opening the car door for her, helping her in, then I rush back to the driver’s side.

“John, I’m serious,” she says, and I look at her, “I’m not always this crazy.”

“First of all,” I turn to her and take her hands, “You’re not crazy. Do you think that because you’re showing different emotions I’m going to think you’re crazy?”

She nods, “Yeah. I mean, I know that I’m pregnant but one minute I’m crying, then the next I’m mad about something like…you didn’t fold the towels right--which by the way, were folded right. I’m just--”

“Don’t say it!” I warn her, and she slouches. “Stop talking about my wife like that.”

“You’re not a mind reader and I need to realize that. I need to be more vocal with my wants and needs,” she says as I reach for her hand, “Especially during this time. I can’t get mad at you for not doing something when I didn’t even tell you in the first place. I really am sorry.”

I reach over and touch her chin, “I love you. I love all of your moods and emotions. I love seeing my sweet wife cry over a laundry soap commercial. I love this side of you.”

“It’s a freaking mess.” she says, laughing tearfully, “But thank you for loving me. It won’t last forever.”

“And even if it did, I would still love you anyway,” I cup her face and lean over to kiss her, “When I said I would love you forever, I meant that.”

She smiles as she rests her head back, “Forever is a really long time.”

“With you, it’s not long enough.”

I hold her gaze for a few moments before we both start to laugh. I absolutely meant it but I will admit it was a bit corny. She loved it though and she knows I meant it. I start the car and reach over to pat her thigh and she smiles at me, leaning over to kiss me.

“I kinda want some ice cream now.”

Looking over at her, I start to smile when I see the smirk on her face, “Tell me exactly what brand and flavor.”

[smartestgenius]

balance changes wishlist

willow's attack lands faster

darryl's super charges faster

he also needs better gadgets so bad

doug more range. just increase the radius a littttle bit

listen I don't mind brock's new hair but ik some people hate it so i think he should get the other model as a free skin kinda like hat mortis

kill animations/effects. yk how its just a flash and you're gone? it should be something cooler. plus if it lasts a bit longer so you have something interesting to look at while waiting to respawn

frank keeps his attack speed just like it is rn but he also makes less damage. he can't carry that big ass hammer with such little health!! he's weaker!! he's also DEAD!

report button on every end screen, not just ranked

and on that note: we need a middle finger pin. thumbs down is not enough to convey the rage some people make me feel

maybe dealing damage to allies would be okay sometimes too.

bring back angelo's 4800 dmg shot i can't keep getting my kills stolen

but the aim is smaller if the map is too open or he's moving too fast on water with that one star power (it gets very windy and can't shoot straight)

(lol)

spooky is a helium balloon so whenever gus hits an enemy with his bar full their voice lines should be higher. also allies who get it

if u have melodie in your battle card as favorite brawler you get a free kpop photocard mailed to your house. it's random tho you can't pick

if brawler with zombie skin gets damage minecraft zombie sound plays instead of whatever voiceline

hank's super now is like bonnie's. he exits the tank and is super tiny so he goes mostly undetected and can't take damage bc of his miniscule hitbox. his attack in this phase is 1 dmg and charges 1/10 of his super

if you survive mandy's super you get faster. bc sugar rush

if you use carl in that one gem grab map you can ride the minecart

game effects should be on the whole screen not just around the brwler. like if you get doug's hotdog a png fills your screen so you give enemies the opportunity to kill u again ^^

chester's "you're so big and strong" needs it own button

mega pig now doesn't give you anything other than ham points, which are only useful to trade for future-pig-brawler cosmetics

squid game event in which you and 99 other random players with the same green tracksuit skin play random gamemodes until the event ends. if you enter it you can't exit the game or you get banned

when max uses hypercharge the energy drinks she throws spill on the ground if allies don't catch them so you can choose between getting another speed buff or the chance to make an enemy trip and humilliate themselves for 20 dmg

idk feel free to add some

[snaillamp]

Lantern Man

Enjar lifted the surfboard from the water, wading back into shore. He had spent the afternoon catching waves on the beach nearby, enjoying the summer warmth, if you could even call it that. He shivered, his thick wetsuit still not shielding him entirely from the cold bite of the ocean.

Looking up at the cloudless afternoon, he admired the deep cobalt blue of the sky. Wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, he flicked his hair out of his face before hiking the short trail back up to the car. Strapping his board up, he jumped in the driver’s seat, turning on the engine and reversing out onto the small trail leading home. Turning up the heater, he blasted warm air on his face.

The wind picked up as he drove, buffeting the car. It howled around him as he grinned, it was amazing how fast the weather could turn up here, he would never be quite used to it. As he parked beside the lighthouse, he grabbed the radio, the object he always took everywhere with him, before unpacking everything from his day.

He finally made it back inside, hurrying to his bathroom for a hot shower. The wind, despite being a warm summer breeze before had turned into a cooler, stronger gale.

~~

When he finished his shower, he shrugged on a jacket and walked to the small desk in his bedroom. It was huddled away in the corner, most people wouldn’t even notice it, but on top lay a computer and a small monitor, kept company by a few nick nacks: sea glass, cool rocks, some feathers, just fun things collected by all keepers over the years.

Enjar slid into the stiff chair and logged on, staring at the computer screen. He checked the maps and weather forecast, clear night, no need to turn the light on yet. It looked like it would be quite windy tomorrow though. He checked coast guard reports, before sighing and clicking off.

He was happy, on one hand nights like this were nice. He didn’t often get time to be lazy, but on the other hand, he didn't like being lazy either. Standing from the chair, he yawned, deciding to go outside. The wind had died down enough that he could sit outside with a drink and enjoy the peaceful evening.

Walking to his fridge he grabbed a ginger beer, cracking it open and taking a long sip. The cool, refreshing liquid bubbled on his tongue as he savoured the slight burn of the ginger. Reaching into his pantry, he grabbed a bag of potato chips, a treat he only afforded himself on relaxing nights like this. Grabbing a chair, he dragged it outside and sat a way aways form the cliff edge. Watching the sun set on the horizon, he smiled, remembering the stories the former keeper, and his mentor, Johaan would tell him.

The short man, who looked like Santa if he had taken up residence in a lighthouse, patted his gut, leaning back with a chuckle. His red cheeks, flushed from the already large amount of whiskey he consumed would crease as he smiled, regaling stories of shipwrecks and myths.

Enjar’s favourite had been the story of the Lantern Man.

“You know, boy, there’s a reason you don’t run along these cliffs here, see.” The fat, stubby finger of the lighthouse keeper would trace along the cliff edge. “You see, there was a man, once. He was an old keeper, like ourselves, years and years ago. Over 100, but no one knows completely for sure. The story goes that he was always rushing around, too brave for his own good.”

Johaan took another large swig of whiskey, coughed a little and continued. “People always told him, ‘Boy! You mustn’t run along the cliffs. Take your time of the cliffs will take you!’ and he would laugh in their faces, saying that he had work to do and that he would be careful.

One day a freak storm washed over the area, largest that had happened in living memory. The waves were so tall they could reach the balcony of the tower.” The man would scoffed into his glass, pouring another serving of booze. “I call bull on that part, aye?”

Enjar nodded, grinning at the absurdity of the claim. The cliffs were quite high, and he had only seen large waves reach high enough to barely brush half of the ancient stone. “Course, the keeper didn’t listen, or there’d be no story!” Johaan cackled loudly, before continuing.

“Well that night, the wind was blowing hard, and he was coming home from the tavern in his big leather coat. This was before them motor cars and shit so he would just grab his big storm lantern and walk along the cliff edge to find his way home. Course, that was dangerous, but he didn’t care none.” He would sip his booze thoughtfully, going distant.

“Anyway, story goes he was running along home, when he slipped and tumbled from the cliff, plunging into the sea and rocks below. Some say the waves actually grabbed him straight off the edge! Anyway, he was swallowed up by the ocean, never to be seen again.

Years later, the new keeper was in a rush one foggy night, presumably in a similar situation to the first one. He was running along the cliff line when he saw a light glimmering in the distance.”

The old keeper glanced at Enjar, leaning back in his chair and listening intently, and grinned a toothy grin.

“The man kept running along the cliff line, ’n the light was getting closer an closer, yeah? He swears he hears the creaking of a rusty storm lantern as he nears it. When he finally reached the spot he thought it was, he looks up and it’s gone. The wind is howling and he’s looking for this light, before he feels a hand grab his shoulder and rip him from the cliff edge.”

Enjar’s eyes would widen, as he smiled at the ghost story. “Well the poor young keeper practically jumps out of his skin when he looks at the cold, wet, grey hand gripping his shoulder. He glances around to see the face of a drowned man staring at him, holding the storm lantern aloft, before the figure turns around and disappears into the mist...

Since then, people have sworn on their life that they seen a man, walking along the cliffs, holding a lantern aloft. Some say its the keeper, walking along with his light to protect others from the same fate, others say he’s there as punishment, forced to walk along the cliff edge, taking his time but never making it home.”

They sat in solemn silence for a second before the man would cackle. “Nah, I think it’s bullshit, mostly it anyway. But I won’t say it ain’t all real. All stories are based in a little bit of truth, aye, Enjar?”

Enjar nodded, ruminating on the point made by the old man until one day he couldn’t resist any longer.

“Have you ever seen him? The Lantern Man?”

Johaan, always the easy, laidback man, suddenly went very still. Turning slowly, he nodded, holding up a finger. “Once... I was walking along the edge, looking for yacht that had reportedly run aground one the rocks. It was misty and cold, and in the wind I swore I could hear the creak of a lantern.

I brushed it off, assuming it was my imagination... Then in front of me I see a light, small, yellow and shrouded in mist. When I get closer, I see something, the outline of a figure pointing down the ways, silent as anything, before it turned and walked into the dark.

Turned out where it had been pointing was the direction of the yacht. The people down there swore they saw a light on the cliff edge, watching it wander along before tumbling off the cliff. Coast guard and I looked the next morning couldn’t find anything… I don’t believe the whole story, but I believe every story has a bit of truth. They exist for a reason, hmm?”

The old an shuffled, his voice growing stern as he waggled the finger at Enjar. “And you’d be in good mind to heed the warning. Ain’t nothing on them cliffs worth your life, aye?” Enjar nodded, slightly alarmed at the sudden shift in tone. The keeper nodded at him and had continued his day like nothing happened. Enajr had always kept an eye out after that… Just in case.

He shivered, realising that the sun was pretty much set and the cold wind was picking up again. Going back inside, he glanced along the cliff line for a second, before shutting the door and getting ready for dinner.

~~

Enjar had just tucked himself into bed, getting comfy when he heard the radio chatter to life in the next room. Groaning in annoyance, he got out of bed and shuffled across the cabin to the small radio perched beside the front door. “Tower 4 do you copy? This is Base, Tower 4, do you copy?”

“Tower 4 receiving. What’s up?” Enjar spoke, sleepily mumbling as he rubbed his eyes. He stifled a yawn.

“Yeah, do you see that flare? Should be west of you.”

Enjar frowned, grabbing the radio and some binoculars before shuffling outside. In the dark, he could see a red flame drifting slowly towards the sea.

“Yeah, I see it.” He replied, lifting the binoculars to his eyes. There wasn’t much he could see in the dark.

“Want me to check it out?”

“Not right now, Tower 4. But, uh, just stick around, we may need your help if we send out a rescue party. You know the fastest route to get there?"

“Yeah, follow the cliff from the lighthouse, shouldn't take more than an hour from where you are.”

“Copy, Tower 4. Base over and out.”

Enjar was feeling a little more awake now, the adrenaline starting to kick in. He traced the illuminated trail of smoke to the side of the cliff, frowning. He knew there were lots of climbers around these parts in summer, the cliff faces were perfect for it, but at this time of night? The person must be nuts. “Well, that makes the flare make sense.” He muttered, going back inside.

He began to prepare, changing into his climbing gear and loading the car with his rope. He too enjoyed climbing, even if he spent most of his time dangling from the tower, doing maintenance on it instead of the cliff faces. His radio crackled to life.

“Base to Tower 4? Do you copy?”

“Tower 4 receiving.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna need to to check out Klintro Point. Just got a PLB signal. Can you get there?”

“Klintro? Yeah, that shouldn’t take me long. I’ll be over in 10 minutes. Tower 4 out.”

“Be careful, Enjar. Base over and out.”

~~

As he drove over the rocky trails, Enjar glanced towards the cliffs. The flare had faded, but he knew where he was going. Rounding the corner, he spied an SUV, parked between the trees. Screeching to a halt, Enjar jumped from his car, examining the abandoned vehicle.

It was dark and empty, doors locked. Looking inside he couldn’t see anything, his eyes unable to make anything out in the dark.

“Hello?” He called out as the wind blew harder. “Do you need help?” He called into wind, but it snatched his words and carried them away. Grabbing a torch from his kit, he scanned the surrounding area, catching a faint trail in the corner of his eye.

Following it a little way, he finally came across a boulder jutting out of the ground a few metres from the abdanodned SUV. Wrapped firmly around it was rope, pulled taught. Following it along to the cliff edge, being careful not to fall, Enjar peeked over and spotted a man, dangling from the ropes. “Hey!” He called down to him, his voice breaking with strain.

The man below him looked up, yelling back. “Down here! Help!” Enjar squinted down in to the dark, trying to get a good view. “What’s wrong?!”

“I’m tangled in my ropes! My shoulder… my arm… I think they’re broken!”

“Hold tight! Help is coming!” Enjar moved from the edge, the wind buffeting his body as he staggered against it. As he opened the door of his car, it was ripped from his hand, flying open. Jumping in, he grabbed the door with both hands and grunted as he pulled it shut.

When it finally did shut he was shivering, the cold wind chilling him to his bones. With shaking hands he grabbed the radio from his belt and spoke into it.

“Tower 4 to Base, do you read me?”A tense moment of silence, with the exception of the howling wind filled the air, thick with tension.

“Base to Tower 4. We read you. What's the situation?”

“I’m at the site, there’s a climber, his arm is broken and he can’t climb up. He’s tangled in his ropes… I can try and get down to get him free.”

“Negative Tower 4, we can’t ask you to put yourself at risk like that. Wait for backup and monitor the situa-”

A scream ripped through the air, cutting through even the wind. Enjar jumped from the car running towards the cliff as he saw the backup rope go taught. The first rope had snapped completely.

“The rope is snapping, I have to go down!” Enjar yelled into the radio.

“Tower 4 it’s too dangerous!”

“Screw this.” Enjar whispered as he hooked the radio into his belt, rushing to his supplies and slipping on his harness and a headlamp. He grabbed a length of rope, before running to cliff, looking for an anchor point anywhere. Spotting a large tree a little way back, he tied the rope around it, making sure it was secure. The wind had died down a little, but it was still strong, being exposed on the cliff like that was going to be dangerous.

Attaching himself to his line, he walked to the edge of the cliff. “Base to Tower 4, respond.”

Enjar grabbed the radio, holding it in his shivering hands. He wasn’t in warm clothes and the weather was only getting worse again.

“Tower 4, I hear you loud and clear.”

The voice of the manager at Base cut through the wind. “Enjar, listen to me. Don’t risk your life for this. Wait for help.” At the same time, the man screamed again, the rope jerking as he dropped a little.

“His rope is giving out, I’m not going to sit around and watch him die!” Enjar growled into the radio, reattaching it to his belt. “Enjar please…”

Ignoring the pleas of the manager he muted the radio, then slid down the smooth, wind swept cliff to the man. He was pale, shaking. Enajr glanced around at the ropes, looking at the mess i were in. The man’s forearm was caught in a tangle of rope that had been pulled tight. It was pale, no blood getting through and it was bent at a strange angle, hanging from his shoulder in a strange way.

“Hey, I’m Enjar. Hold till for me okay?” Enjar yelled into the screaming wind. The man looked up at him with teary eyes, “Andre”. He looked terrified. “Cut me free, please! I’ve been here for hours! I don’t want to die!” He cried wriggling in the rope. “Okay, Andre, hold still!” Enjar reached for the good arm, grabbing it and pulling the man close, hooking him up to his own rig. “If I cut you free, you’ll die anyway! Hold still!” He pulled the shaking man against his body.

Enjar watched the man’s eyes go wide. “Wait, why won’t you cut me out?!” He screamed into Enjar’s ear, hurting his ear drum. “Crush syndrome.” Examining the tangle, he pursed his lips. This was going to be hard. If he carried the man up, the ropes might loosen and then… The man wriggled against him, the carabiner brushing against a belt. Enjar looked down at Andre's waist. “Hey. I need your belt!” Andre looked at him strangely. “Why?” Enjar grimaced before looking at him, slightly frustrated. “Tourniquet!”

Andre leaned back a little as Enjar fiddled with the clasp of his belt, pulling it free. He reached up and wrapped it tightly around Andre’s arm pulling it as tight as he could. “Ow, ow stop!” Andre screamed, but Enjar kept pulling until it was secure. Fastening the belt as best he could he checked it, it seemed to be tight enough. Looking to Andre he nodded.

“I’ve got you! Hold tight.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small pocket knife. Trust his stupid head to bring a knife but not a first aid kit. He reached to the tangle of rope and began sawing at it. Andre began to scream and kick again.

“Stop moving, your ropes will give!” Enjar yelled as his tried to calm Andre, who looked at him in fear. The wind died down for a second. “Am I gonna die, Enjar?” Enjar shook his head, resuming sawing at the rope. “I won’t let that happen.”

As the wind picked up again, the ropes came free and Andre’s arm dropped heavily against his side. It has hanging from the shoulder joint at a strange angle. Andre screamed in pain as Enjar checked the belt. It was still tight. At that moment, Andre’s backup rope snapped, causing him to jerk downwards, before Enjar’s hand caught him. Andre screamed again.

“Andre, look at me!” Enjar pulled him close to his face. “You’re attached to me, you can’t fall. I have to climb up but I can’t do that unless you stay still okay? Conserve your strength.”

The wind masked a crumbling sound, only heard at the last second by both men. The rock that Andre had used as an anchor point tilted and cracked, breaking from the cliff and tumbling towards them. Enjar and Andre both jumped sideways, their feet pushing off the cliff face as they swung clear of the falling rock. But what they couldn’t dodge was the quickly approaching cliff as they swung back towards it... fast. The thought flashed through his mind the second before he hit the wall. ‘Shit, no helmet.’

Enjar felt his right shoulder smash against the stone, before the weight of Andre followed, throwing him into the wall even more.

His head cracked against the stone and everything went black.

~~

When he awoke, the world was spinning and his head was pounding. Warm blood was pouring down his face. Enjar groaned, wiping it with his arm before looking over his shoulder. Andre seemed to have passed out. “Shit. Andre!” He called out to the man, the sound of his voice hurting his head. Shaking the limp man, he checked the tourniquet, it seems to be working, but Andre was ice cold. Probably hypothermic. Shaking him, Enjar couldn’t seem to make him wake up.

Checking himself over, Enjar was relieved to feel the headlamp still on his face. It hadn’t occurred to him that it was the reason he could still see until he felt it with his hand. The wind was less strong, but still whipping around them, chilling him to the bone. With a shiver, he glanced down to the bottom of the cliff, noticing the jagged rocks and swirling ocean below. “And it was such a nice summer afternoon.” He mumbled, looking up again.

They weren’t too far from the top, Enjar could probably carry them to the top. That was when he saw the rope sag and begin to fray. “Shit.” The wind had been swinging them against the sharp rocks… His rope was being sliced to bits by the sharp rocks above.

Desperately grabbing at the smooth cliff face, Enjar’s fingers found purchase on a small rut. He gripped it, pulling himself up and feeling for something else to grab. Working his way up the cliff, he grew nearer and nearer to the top, but as the rope seemed to be getting weaker and weaker, he was too. His hurt shoulder was screaming in pain with every movement.

They were so close to the top and Enjar felt his muscles burn as he reached up for another grip. His arms felt like jelly as they shook, trying to grip onto something. His fingers curled around a small knob and he pulled up again, feeling the muscles under his arms strain. His legs burned as he barely managed to push up.

“Just a few more to go…” He gasped, reaching for another grip. The wind buffeted them as Andre suddenly jerked awake. He immediately began to thrash in panic as he tried to figure out where he was. “Hey!” Enjar barked, causing him to look up. “You’re okay, I’m climbing up, just stay still.” Andre shook. ‘Best not tell him about our… predicament…’ Enjar thought as he grunted, pulling himself up the wall again. After a few seconds, he looked up, panting. They were so, so close. Glancing at the rope, he grimaced. They could make it. They had to…

Enjar’s fingers closed around the top of the cliff as his feet searched for anything to push off of. He had grabbed the rock with his bad arm, his shoulder aching as the rocks sliced at his skin with every movement. He tried, couldn’tfind the strength to pull himself and Andre up. Eyeing the tantalisingly slowly fraying rope, he grunted in pain.

He tried to push against the wall but his feet slipped, the sudden movement causing the rope to finally break, the excess length dropping into the dark below them. Somehow, with all the adrenaline coursing through his veins, Enjar managed to get a grip on a rock, holding them up as the rope gave out. He cried out in pain as Andre went stiff with fear, before murmuring into the wind, something Enjar could barely hear. “It snapped didn’t it. We’re going to die…”

“Not if I have anything to do with it!” Enjar grunted, barely able to speak and grip onto the rock, his shoulder shaking as it threatened to break too. His other hand managed reach up and grip the grass as they hung from the edge, his fingers slowly slipping from the rock. His shoulder ached as it threatened to tear from the weight it was holding.

Enjar’s eyes grew wide as something cold and wet slid around his wrists, giving him a slight tug. With a sudden surge of energy, he kicked and managed to pull himself up a little. His fingers brushed the rope that was still attached to the tree and he grasped it tight, wrapping it around his hand and pulling himself up. He crawled forwards, hoisting Andre over the edge, before he dragged them both on his hands and knees away from the edge of the cliff.

Panting, Enjar collapsed into the dirt lay there for a second, before he pushed himself up onto his weak, shaking knees. He unclipped himself from his harness before he staggered over to his car to grab the first aid kit. Returning to Andre, who was still splayed on the ground and breathing heavily, Enjar wrapped an actual tourniquet around Andre's arm, pulling it tight before removing the belt. As he undid it, he bit his lip, the belt had come a little loose in the climb.

Andre gasped in pain as he sat up, looking at his arm. He compared it to his undamaged one and then began to cry. “Will I loose it?” He asked through sobs as the wind picked up again. Enjar shook his head, “I don’t know…” He stopped suddenly as Andre wrapped his good arm around Enjar’s body, sobbing into his shoulder. “Th-th-ank you…” He babbled as Enjar grimaced, tensing up. His shoulder hurt so much, now the adrenaline was no longer able to mask it.

Securing Andre’s arm in a sling, Enjar packed up the first aid kit and took it back to his car. He could barely stand at this point, his energy and strength all but drained. As he closed the car door, he felt strange, like something was watching him. Turning around, he looked into the darkness, listening to the howling wind. He could have sworn he heard a slight, rusted squeak. Looking around, he spotted nothing. “Must be the adrenaline…” He mumbled, staggering back to Andre and sinking to his knees. He felt his eyes sliding shut as he fainted on the cold, wet grass.

~~

A blinding light broke into his mind as he was shaken awake. Maria, a coast guard was shining her light directly in his face. “He’s awake!” She called out, looking over to someone else. The clearing was engulfed in the lights of coast guard vehicles, people milling around them. Groaning as he sat up, he shielded his eyes, only for Maria to grab the arm he was using and wrap it over her shoulders and help him stand.

A white hot pain ripped through him.

“AH! Stop!” He cried out, collapsing to the ground. Maria frowned. She gently pulled him up by his other arm and guided him to a flashing van, sitting him in the seat as another coastguard checked him over. “What happened to you two? That guy was completely mangled and you...” Maria asked, looking at him in concern.

“I managed to get us both up before my rope snapped…” Enjar whispered through heaving breaths, as let his head fall back against the car seat. A coast guard came over and prodded his shoulder, causing him to wince. “I don’t like that. You need an X-ray.” He mumbled to Enjar, who tensed up. “Come on, I know what you’re like. I’m driving you in.”

The guard slid a sling around Enajar’s arm and clicked the seatbelt in before he could find the energy to protest. The door slammed shut as he lay back against the seat, feeling drained. Maria sat in the back with him and kept patching him up on the drive in, checking his head would before cleaning it with a damp wad of gauze. During the drive , Enjar felt his eyes begin to slide shut and before long, he was slumped against Maria’s shoulder, fast asleep. He awoke to a sharp jolt and the sound of the car’s breaks screeching as they were thrown forward.

“Shit. Idiot!” The driver yelled as Enjar and Maria glanced out the windscreen. The wind howled as they both leaned forward, looking puzzled at what was in front of them.

Inches from the hood of the car, a man in a thick, soaked, leather coat stood, holding an old fashioned storm lantern aloft. His skin was a washed out grey, and he almost glowed in the reflection of the headlights. His long, dripping beard didn’t seem to blow in the howling wind as his piercing eyes stared at the occupants of the vehicle for a moment, before he nodded once and walked off into the dark.

“Damn hunters walking around at night in black. What, does he want to get hit?” The driver complained. "Weird, it hasn't rained, why was he so wet?" Maria mumbled as they drove off.

Enjar glanced around and watched the light bobbing in the distance, before it seemed to stop, near where the cliff edge would be and blink out… he knew why…

That was no hunter.

~masterlist~

[angelicfangirl]

19, 20, 25 for the fun questions meme! :D

19. favourite thing about the day?

The variation in colours between a bright sunshine day and the grey overcast days. All the shops and restaurants being open for options of places to eat. Chatting to all of the people, not just the night-owls. Learning to enjoy the outdoors a little. Feeling safe when walking around. Enjoying the breeze whenever walking around.

20. favourite things about the night?

Being anywhere near the water and the breeze with bright lights of buildings looking softer and shinier in the reflection and the dark. Cooler temperature, usually a humidity drop, the quiet of settling at home along with everyone else. Lower expectations of things to do. Getting to sleep at the end of a long day. How snuggly my cat is now when I get home at the end of the work day (she's patting my arm for pats in turn as I write this)

25. fave season and why?

Hmm I think Spring, because its not yet super hot, there's more flowers about like the jacarandas, and its often that nice temperature I enjoy - plus the days are just starting to get longer again. Feels like more windy days in spring, which is also my favourite weather.

[kitten-ly]

It’s My Party

~~~

Chapter 10

~~~

Just as discussed the day prior, Fishlegs, Astrid, and Hiccup took a trip to the village library, which was ancient and wind-blown. Inside the old building, were endless, towering shelves of books, and beside them were piles and stacks of more books. There was plenty of light falling in from the ornate skylights and high tower windows, showcasing the overlay of dust in the static air. There was a small, frail librarian seated behind a desk at the entrance, who appeared just about as old as the building itself. She didn’t greet them, only peered over her book, as they walked in, giving them a suspicious look before returning to reading.

The kids browsed up and down the aisles, searching for something of interest, when Astrid spotted a gorgeous silver-lined book, popping out at her amongst the other dull ones. She pulled the bright thing off the shelf and was gratefully pleased to see it was something about dragons. Everyone was fascinated by the book, they plopped down on the floor beside each other, in the middle of the aisle, to look through it.

Astrid, between the two of them, was all too aware of Hiccup’s shoulder and leg against hers. She had been longing for this contact all night and day. The lucky contact of his touch was so loud, it was screaming. Her face pooled with warmth, as they looked over maps and drawings in the book and she tried her best to distract herself by pointing out to the boys the subtle difference between two sets of dragon tracks.

After half an hour of flipping through the contents and maybe another half hour of searching for another book, the three of them decided they were bored and left.

The blinding daylight had their eyes in sudden tears, yet the clean, crisp air was more refreshing than ever after being in such a dusty, old building. The sun still hung high overhead, but Fishlegs said he had to help his dad with a fishing rod project, and Hiccup had to work at the forge, so Astrid was off to find her next activity alone.

The sky was clear and there was no sign of rain. Astrid decided she would go on a solo hunting patrol along the trail that twisted through the dense thicket surrounding Berk.

Astrid gathered some arrows and her favorite bow her father had gifted her a couple years ago. It had been carved from a willow tree and sanded down smooth and sleek. On her own, she used a pocket knife to cut a few intricate little flowers into the finish.

The young warrior set off on the steep downhill path that plunged into the dark woods. The air felt cooler and the sunlight was scattered here, unable to pierce through the full branches above. She moved quietly through the dense undergrowth, managing to avoid getting snagging on the brambles as the path narrowed.

She was used to being out here with an entire hunting party. While most of her peers were quite skilled hunters, it was much more difficult to move silently with so many people. And they would always be mumbling to each other. Now, here, alone, she was completely invisible, moving lightly on her feet like a stealthy cat. Not even a rabbit would hear her approaching.

The trail ended as the narrow tunnel of bracken broke into a massive expanse of windy plains. The tall yellow grass was a wide stretch, however most of the bright horizon was hidden behind patches of trees. The hum of rushing water was louder now and Astrid knew if she continued north, she would meet the edge of the plains, where the steep rocky cliffs overlooked a sparkling river which cut through the valley. Instead of trying to find a way down the cliffs, Astrid followed the plains decline, keeping her pace quick yet silent.

Astrid moved quietly as she entered another wooded area of undergrowth and tall trees. The shade felt nice on her hot shoulders. She could see a suntan beginning to form on her skin.

Suddenly, she heard a rustle in the bushes ahead, and instinctively, she dropped to a crouch, low to the ground. She held her bow tightly, holding her breath, watching the bushes carefully when a brown hare hopped into sight. Astrid didn’t dare move, the long blades of grass would rustle and give her away. She waited patiently. When the common breeze swept through the plains she seized the opportunity to draw her bow and aim carefully.

The hare stopped sniffing the ground and was still for a moment, its black eyes seemingly landed on her. Astrid held her breath, focusing on the prey, and then shot. Satisfaction swelled through her as the arrow pierced her target. After scooping up her kill she set off to hunt down another.

By sunset, she had caught five rabbits. Astrid proudly made her way back to the village to show off her fresh catches to Hiccup. The air was starting to cool down and her arms broke out into goosebumps. A cold shudder ran through her body in the chilling wind and she couldn’t help fantasizing about the cozy heat from the fire in the dining hall or the familiar warmth of her thick, fur blankets…or the sweet safety of Hiccup’s perfect arms around her.

Just as she turned out of the woods, a glimmer of white blonde hair caught her eye and a wave of uneasiness sank through her body. Oh no.

Cato was leaning up against a massive oak beneath the shade with his arms crossed, gazing out into the distance. Astrid froze in her tracks, hoping he hadn’t seen her yet, but it was too late. When he looked up, her heart lurched in her chest. It was as if he had been waiting for her and called over casually.

“Hey, Astrid!”

Great. She struggled not to roll her eyes. This is not something I wanted to deal with today. She approached him slowly with caution, her heart beginning to pound.

“What do you want?” Astrid sneered, unable to hide her resentment. She dropped the tied bundle of rabbits on the forest floor beside her muddy boots.

“I, er, was hoping you would want to talk,” Cato stammered, taken aback by her hostility. He glanced down at her fresh kills, his dark steel eyes revealing a glimmer of amusement.

“Why?” Astrid crossed her arms.

“Because you’re someone who I’ve considered a friend for many years,” answered Cato. These words had a strange sting to them, for some reason, however, Astrid remained cold.

“Well, you’ve been acting like a fucking jerk recently and you’re mean to my friends.” She snapped back. She had said ‘friends,’ but they both knew who she really meant.

“You’re right,” he admitted unexpectedly. “I’m not happy with myself…or with my actions…”

Astrid didn’t say anything. His aggression had grown stronger than ever over the more recent months and it had been driving her away. She found him rather annoying nowadays, unlike before, in her early teens, when she would actually look up to Cato and his skills and strength and wear herself out for his approval.

“Look, I just want it to be like old times again. Remember how much fun you and I used to have on the those all-nighter hunting patrols,” Cato smiled with nostalgia, showing his sharp white teeth and some distant memories came flooding back to her. “And every day with all the unnecessary combat training?”

When he laughed a little, Astrid actually found herself tense a little, realizing there was an urge there to laugh too. She would not lie to herself, she was fond of these memories. A part of her did miss having such a good time with Cato and the other two boys whom she had been so close with, Tom and Ramsey. They were her best friends for years. She even missed hanging out sometimes with Snotlout and Tuffnut, as obnoxious as they were. She imagined a peaceful world where everyone united in harmony and all the kids hung out together and went on hunting patrols together and shared lunch together. The grouping of social genres was so stupid, nonetheless, the root of the issue was aggressive people like Cato. He was just so jealous. Jealous of other boys talking to her or training with her when she wasn’t even his! If Cato could just accept that he will never be more than her friend, they could all start hanging out again.

“Astrid,” his voice was soft and pleading.

“I don’t know, Cato. That was a long time ago,” was all she could manage.

“You have been one of my best friends since childhood, Astrid,” she could hear the desperation wavering in his words. “Please, just let me make it up to you. I can’t lose you as a friend too. I won’t cause any more problems. And I’ll be respectful towards your little—I-I mean Hiccup Haddock.”

“That’s all that really matters,” Astrid said, for some odd reason her heart began to pound in her chest at the thought of Hiccup. “Don’t be mean to him. Don’t ever hurt him. Or I’ll seriously hurt you.”

“Okay, okay. You have my word, Astrid,” Cato said sincerely, his hand over his heart.

Astrid picked up her bundle of rabbits and gave him a somber look, before she walked away without saying anything else.

Dinnertime was loud and busy. Astrid sat with Hiccup and Fishlegs per usual, but this time Ruffnut joined them as well. Astrid was delighted to get to actually sit next to Hiccup today, her leg against his, his elbow easily brushing her arm every so often when he reached for something on the table. The miniature contact was fuzzy electric, making her skin break into goosebumps, her heart soar with bliss.

Fishlegs, as always took the spotlight and gave a detailed account of the time he fought head-on with a bear. Although he was practically yelling over the table, Astrid half listened, murmuring comments to Ruffnut here and there about Fishleg’s enthusiasm.

They all shared red wine and a plate full of roasted chicken and smoked fish on skewers.

“Do you think Snotlout is a good kisser?” Ruff asked, causing Astrid to almost choke on a piece of fish.

This even caught Hiccup’s attention, who turned his head curiously to tune into the exchange.

“What? Probably not,” Astrid said, taking a sip of wine. She followed Ruffnut's cloudy, distant gaze across the hall where it was fixed on the boy.

“No, you’re wrong,” Ruff murmured, clearly lost in her own thoughts. ��I can just tell.”

“Wait, Hiccup, listen,” Fishlegs tried not to whine. “This is the best part.”

“Okay, sorry.”

“So, I’m gushing blood from my arm and stomach, but I gather all my strength and since my spear has now snapped in half, at this point, I realize that I’m going to have to use my small steel dagger to take down the bear!” Fishlegs continued, waving his arms and hands to create visuals to go with his story.

Astrid began to drown him out when Ruffnut started mumbling to her again.

“He acts so funny around me, now. I just know he wants me,” Ruff said under her breath, her gaze migrating to Astrid. “I mean who wouldn’t want me? But, I honestly didn’t suspect Snotlout would feel any type of way….”

“Ruffnut, listen, I know you guys will really like this part,” Fishlegs protested.

The girls tried to listen to his story for a few moments before Ruffnut whispered to Astrid again.

“I bet he’s a great kisser,” she was dreamily gazing off at Snotlout again. “Look at that mouth!”

“Why don’t you go find out,” Astrid challenged, lowering her voice mischievously.

“No way, not right here!”

“No, I mean, later. Like maybe tonight meet up with him or something? Go on a little patrol together?”

Ruffnut stifled her gasp with her hands but her excited squeals broke through.

“Yes, yes, yes. Good idea. Wonderful idea,” Ruffnut squeaked, giggling uncontrollably like a little girl.

Just past Fishlegs head, Astrid could see Cato had appeared at the far entrance of the dining hall. He was looking around the room when their eyes met and unexpectedly, he raised his hand and waved at her. Why was he waving at her? Was he testing to see if she’ll do it? Astrid debated it for a moment and when she slowly raised her hand and waved back, a delightful smile broke across his face. For a second, she worried he would come over here and sit with them, but he settled at his usual table, in the spot next to Ramsey, the black-haired, blue-eyed boy, whom Astrid was best friends with at one point.

“Wow. Are you guys cool, now?” Ruff inquired, who had been paying close attention.

Astrid merely shrugged her shoulders. She wouldn’t call them friends or anything. When she glanced at Hiccup, he was fixed right on her, a very subtle hint of distaste crossing his face. It was apparent that he had noticed this exchange between her and Cato, as well.

Astrid could sense that this made him feel uneasy, however, neither of them spoke of it. Fishlegs continued to list off the different species of snakes that were present in Berk, but Astrid was lost in her own thoughts. Maybe she shouldn’t have waved at Cato. She didn’t want to give off the impression that they were friends. And she certainly didn’t want Hiccup to think there was anything going on between the two of them.

The moment dinner was over, everyone split off on their own separate ways.

“See you guys tomorrow,” said Fishlegs, before heading out of the hall.

“I’ll let you know if I end up meeting up with Snotlout,” said Ruffnut. Behind her, Astrid could see Hiccup beginning to walk away toward the exit, a sense of dread filled her stomach. He hadn’t said a word to her since she greeted Cato. She was terribly worried he was upset with her.

“I’ll tell you everything that happens if anything happens!” Ruffnut exclaimed. Astrid could not get excited with her friend this time, the feeling of worry was sapping all of her attention.

“Okay, see you,” Astrid murmured and pushed past Ruffnut to follow Hiccup, but he was nowhere in sight.

Astrid left the dining hall, pushing through the crowd of villagers that had just shared dinner. She descended the stone steps in the cool twilight and peered around in all directions for Hiccup.

In a short distance, she could see his tiny figure in the direction of his house, disappearing down the village trail into the fog.

“Hiccup!” Astrid called after him. When he didn’t turn around, her heart swelled horribly and she broke out into a light jog after him.

“Hiccup, wait up,” she panted, slowing her pace as she finally caught up with him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” his cool eyes met hers briefly, and Astrid felt a small wash of relief, but he did not smile.

“What’s going on?” She demanded, searching his expression for any answers, but he seemed mellow as always. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t say goodbye, or even wait. We always walk together.”

“Well, er, yes, I’m sorry,” Hiccup replied.

Astrid couldn’t help thinking she would get nowhere with this if she didn’t just say something now.

“Are you annoyed that I waved hello to Cato?” Astrid stopped to try to seriously talk for a second, but Hiccup kept walking.

“Please, talk to me for a moment,” she begged and realized she sounded like Cato, herself.

“Fine. Yes. I didn’t like it,” he admitted shortly. “I didn’t realize you were friends.”

She was taken aback by his jumpy conclusion.

“We are not friends! But we decided not to be enemies either. There’s really no reason for hate. We just reached a common ground, that’s all.”

He scoffed at these protests.

“Did you guys hang out or something and sort out all your differences?” Hiccup sounded annoyed. Astrid felt her heart sinking, he had never shown any kind of negative emotion in front of her before. It was making her feel funny.

“No, we didn’t hang out,” Astrid insisted, her heart pulsing in her throat. “He found me by the forest after I went out hunting. To talk.”

Hiccup scowled with jealousy at the mention of Cato and her talking alone in the woods.

“Yep and that’s when you got together to reconcile and sing Kumbaya,” he muttered sarcastically, casting his gaze to the ground.

It wouldn’t take a genius to know Hiccup didn’t like her being around Cato. It made him jealous and irritable. Why wouldn’t it, after all the hostility the two had been through with Cato up until now? She could easily understand why Hiccup would be confused and even pissed off with Astrid’s sudden peaceful interaction with someone who had they deemed an enemy for quite some time now.

Although he wasn’t her boyfriend yet, she could tell how badly he wanted to ask her to avoid Cato. She didn’t blame him, Cato was aggressive and rude and it was obvious he was in love with her. And although Hiccup saw this other boy as such a threat, Astrid knew he really wasn’t. At the end of the day, all that mattered is who she wanted to be with, right?

“Please, Hiccup, stop,” Astrid suddenly said, out of nowhere, grabbing his hand to prevent him from walking on, stopping them by a gnarled, shaded tree. He didn’t resist, but he sighed and turned to her, a glint of irritation in his usually refreshing green eyes.

“Please, don’t worry,” she reassured weakly.

This was not enough for him. He continued to glare at her silently. His cheeks had gone red as of his frustration had physically heated him or maybe it was the wine they had at dinner. Astrid felt a pang of guilt for thinking he looked so cute right now.

“How can I not worry?” He snapped. “I don’t trust that scumbag’s intentions. Even Fishlegs said it himself—he’s obsessed with you.”

She couldn’t deny this. However, she could handle herself. Cato’s always thrown himself at her and she easily told him off every time.

“That’s true, but, at this point, he knows that he’ll never have me!”

“Does he?” Hiccup retorted sharply. “Do you actually think he’s made peace with that, he just accepts he has no chance?”

“I don’t know,” Astrid admitted. Her brain felt fuzzy from all this uncertainty and tension.

For a moment, she tried to imagine if the roles were reversed, and some relentless girl was in love with Hiccup, following him around, trying to talk to him alone, lashing out at everyone who tried to get close with him. Her stomach lurched dreadfully. Oh, she would hate that!

“I’m sorry, baby,” she suddenly felt these strange words tumbling out of her mouth and watched how his eyes seemed to light up as if coming back to life. The wine must be making her bold. Her heart slammed against her chest as she grabbed both of his hands now, stepping closer, so their faces were inches apart and she held his bewildered gaze. “Listen, I’ll stay away from him, okay?”

“Okay,” he murmured contently, an uncertain little smile finally unraveling over his mouth.

She leaned forward to close the distance between their faces, kissing him affectionately. She let her fingers climb up the back of his neck to play in the softness of his copper flips. Gods, how she had missed this feeling. She pushed him up against the nearby tree and kissed him hard, letting the front of her body press against his tauntingly.

They stopped kissing, their close breaths mingling as Hiccup complained, “Astrid, we’re like right in the open.”

“You’re right,” she whispered and kissed him once more. She tasted him this time, fancying his flavor and the way his tongue moved over hers.

“Oooh, what do we have here? Lucky Hiccup’s getting some action!” A familiar and annoying voice hollering a short distance away from them, right on time.

Astrid turned to see Snotlout sniggering on the hill just behind them with Tuffnut, who looked at them curiously.

“Something that you’ll never have!” Astrid called back sourly, then snatched Hiccup’s hand to yank him away from the scene.

“Let’s go to my house,” she suggested, changing directions, and leading them toward her end of the village. “I can sneak you in through my bedroom window. We just have to be really quiet.”

Hiccup laughed nervously at this. “Okay. Er, what will we do?”

“Oh, you know. Stuff.” She shrugged casually but then turned around to give him a telling smirk.

Hiccup raised his eyebrows in response, but said nothing. After a few moments of following her in silence, he piped up.

“Hey. It would be far less trouble to go to my house. My dad won’t care at all if I have any, uh, company over.”

Astrid considered this for a moment. She slowed down to walk beside him, still holding his hand. “He won’t care at all? Even if we go to your room and shut the door?”

“He won’t bother us,” Hiccup confirmed, his face blushing red at her words. “If anything, he’ll tell me ‘good job.’”

“Well, okay. As long as he doesn’t go tattle to my parents.”

They shifted directions again and set off towards the chief’s house, which was a distinctly large, dark silhouette on the breezy hilltop, overlooking the village.

The quiet earth bathed in moonlight, giving the pale, tall grass a silver illusion and as they picked their way, suddenly a loud, cool wind swept over the plains, teasing the long, parched blades.

When they reached Hiccup’s front doorstep, the torches outside were beginning to extinguish. Before following him inside, Astrid cast a glance over her shoulder at the village below. She had never realized how tall the chief’s hill was until she stood at the top of it and looked down. Even though it was nighttime now, it was still early enough for lots of people to be out, moving around below, working, and interacting. They almost looked like little rats. She noticed one bigger figure standing still, by the vegetable stall, facing her direction. It was almost too dark to make out the details. Who’s that? Is that Cato? He was just staring up the hill at her and there was something ominous about it.

[splinter-sister]

🎲 - One for Caz, and one for Woowoo! ( @plague-on-the-run / @nomans-land-rp ))

[These are VERY LONG so I'm putting them under a cut.]

🎲 10 Caz-A kiss along the jawline

Issue after issue after issue. Nothing could have gone right that day. Rolling up into town to find that marauders had trashed the place was just the start. Rachael thought it was her lucky day she had barely missed the action and finding Caz there set a red herring of credulity for the remainder of the day. Who did she piss off to have such a crummy rest of the day? Already tired from the journey in, she gets to work and not only fought with maintaining and tuning up the Plant there, but she also got into a bit of a fist fight with one of the workers. Over what? She'd tell you the sheer incompetence of man.

After that, she was somehow pickpocketed at some point that day, ran out of cigarettes and unable to buy more, found out that the raiders did damage to a water main so no running water was available in the town till morning, and she didn't have enough cash for a hotel room and dinner. That's enough to make a grown man cry, she reckons.

She ran into Caz again after the sun had set and they spent the evening together after that. Rach tried to keep up brighter spirits but inevitably failed as she confessed the slight pickle she's in. It turns out Caz already had a room at the local inn and a couch was included in the furniture. Rachael was welcomed to stay there for the night and she thought she could cry, realizing food was still an option for the night.

The evening began to turn around after they got a bite to eat and headed back to the inn. The night was cooler like an apology for the harsh heat of the day. Rachael set her things down by the couch and went to the washroom to see if there was any trickle of water left in the pipes. With barely enough to fill a cup, she used half of it to clean herself up. When she came back into the main room, there was Caz checking her mask on the bed and something on the couch. A tiny rectangular box in plastic wrapping. Rachael knew what they were immediately and could cry knowing she had smokes again. Opting to no longer contain her bigger emotions, she goes over to the bed and wraps her arms around Caz's shoulders in a hug from behind.

"I could kiss yew. Actually, I will." Rachael tightens her arms around Cazs neck and plants as many quick kisses to the back of her jaw as she can before she's told to knock it off. Such joy for some cigarettes.

🎲 39 Wolfwood-A tentative kiss

It has been a stretch of time since Rachael and Wolfwood met on that windy day. A game of darts bringing them closer together till they could part ways, but not stay separated forever. Every time they reconvened, they grew closer and closer. Whether it's having smoke breaks at night or keeping their skins on their persons, they grew to not just tolerate each other but rather enjoy one another's company. The sands would not let them part ways indefinitely, it seems. (And Vash had a part to play in that as well...)

There came a point where Caz pointed out some details to Rachael about their priest. The things he was going out of his way to do and give to her. They claimed he fancied her! She didn't take notice of them at first, but after Caz had set the seed into her mind was when she started to notice. One thing led to another, and feelings got caught like birds in a tangle of fish nets. Though she still denies it, Rachael does have a fondness for him in return.

It wasn't long before a first kiss was exchanged through taunts and teases. She thought it would be a turning point, but she didn't feel much different after the fact. His company was still enjoyed even if he pissed her off sometimes. Their little taunted spats were actually fundamental to their relationship at this point. The bit of spice that kept each of them on their toes. It was fun in a way!

Now, it's an evening out in the empty desert. The moons are high and the sun is slipping under the horizon. The gaggle of outlaws (and one non outlaw) had stopped for the night to rest. A fire was going with a pot heating up what scraps they had on them. While the others were either cleaning their fire arms or setting themselves up for the night, Rachael and Nic, as she referred to him, remained by the fire. She watched the pot boil with the collective water and flavor cubes they added to it. The chunks of dried meat weren't soft enough yet.

Nic sat right next to her, leaning back against his cross that he had staked into the ground. They chatted on and off as she watched the thickening mixture. Catching up on where they've been and what they did as they waited always reminded her of the fondness she felt with him. She eventually joined him in using the cross as a backrest. There wasn't much room and she was more leaning against him than the big metal gun. They settled into it with his arm over her shoulders and her cheek against his collar. Not much was thought about it as the hypnotic dance of the fire kept her attention. But after a bit, she began to think about things as he lit up a cigarette. The silence between them was comfortable and it occurred to her that thats how she felt around him often.

The smell of smoke reminded her of him now, and when she picked up that he had lit up she glanced up at him. Something tugged at her brain, telling her to do something. The others weren't around or looking, but what if they came back? She was fighting with herself on if she should or shouldn't. Her patience with herself ran thin. In one quick motion, she plucks the cigarette from his mouth. When he turns to bark at her she thievery is when she smashes her face to his. It's a very uncoordinated and unsure kiss.

They break apart when he blows smoke into her mouth to make her cough and hack. Nic gets a punch in his shoulder for that and told he gets served last.

[pbandjesse]

Today was kind of a logistical nightmare for me. And like it was fine in the end because we got through it but man. I hate when things are set up to fail.

I also just slept horribly last night. It was super super windy and it was just so loud and we should have just closed the windows but we didn't and so I woke up a ton. I also had really really intense nightmares. And so when I woke up I just felt so crummy. Like to the point I may have called out. But I know Elizabeth would be sad. So I got myself together and went to camp.

James was a little to hovery because they knew I wasn't feeling right. But I needed space so I tried not to be a huge bitch about it but basically waited until they left for work to do my makeup and finish getting ready. And then grabbed the sandwich they made for me because they love me so much and it made me feel less cranky about everything. Knowing how loved I am. Love them so much.

I got to camp at 8 and after getting my walkie and big spray I went to see Elizabeth and get the ropes key and the schedule for the day. That is when I noticed that the programs were an hour and a half with 15 minutes between them. So basically an hour and 45 minutes. For 5 kids to do programs that we struggle to fill an entire hour with normally. When we have 16 kids. So I was like hey, this on purpose? And she was just like oh, well just do whatever you can. So I was very stressed about this basically all morning. We probably said it to many times between me and Celia to the chaperones but they were a bit confused about it too. Like. It's just a lot of time! Longer then yesterday's when we were doing the same programs. So it was just really weird.

And then a bunch of stuff went awry. I went and set up ropes and Cecilia came up to get the old water cooler I found. And then no one was ready at 845 when we should have all basically been at the hacienda. And then I'm getting called to come down to the rock wall but then Tony (welcome back Tony!!) took over that and so I went back to the hacienda. Where we got a call that all the other water coolers were missing. And poor Sarah was driving around on the gator to try and find them. And then Brayden was there to get the group for horses. And then Celia was there and so we also took our ropes group and we were off.

We started right at 9. And we're basically done by 930. The program was supposed to go until 1045. So this was no good.

We would go and try the whale watcher. And I told them I can do my musuem tour as a podcast and so I did that with Celia playing the part of the children when I ask questions and the chaperone doing hand motions to act out what I was saying and it was really silly and fun.

Once I got like 5 or so minutes in to my speech I said I would go up to horses to check in.

Laney and Rachel were up there and they were also basically done. It was like 945 at this point. And they brought out paint to paint on the horses, just to fill the time, and they said I could bring out group up and have both groups up there. And once the first horse group was done painting they could do ropes.

This sort of worked. It was nice petting the horses. But then one of the girls, who of course really loved the horses, started having an allergic reaction. So I would take 4 of the 5 kids, who the chaperone took the girl having the reaction to their medical person.

This group has the highest support needs and while they were having fun, me and Celia were essentially the only spotters and they kept falling on me!! We were all laughing but these kids were mostly bigger then me and I was going to be, as one girl said, "squished like a pancake."

After they got bored of the ropes we went to the whale watcher. But they didn't understand or didn't want to actually balance. Instead they were for sure sensory seeking and were just slamming the seesaw down. For like a few minutes. It was loud and eventually Elizabeth called us and told us she could hear it across camp and we had to stop.

It was about 11 at this point. I will remind you that the first program should have been 9 to 1030, then the second program was 1045 to 1215. So it being 11 you see the problem. So I made the call to take them to arts to paint.

And that ended up being great. We went up there and I got them watercolors and they really seemed to enjoy it. It was just really pleasant and I felt happy. And I was happy when one of the boys, Calder, kept telling me how happy he was.

Celia had made a stop at the office to get a sweatshirt and when she came and joined us she let me know that all the other program areas had basically given up and they all cleaned up already. One group was in the field, one was playing diskgolf, who knows where the other one was. So Celia went to pack up low ropes, and around noon I took the group to lunch.

Me and Celia get along a lot. She lets me be very silly and we basically just use internet lingo all day which is just really goofy. I also showed her my fidgets and she told me about hers. I'm excited she's going to be specialty staff this summer.

We headed back to the office. Checked in with Elizabeth. She told me she also has a tummy ache. She told us that if anyone wanted to stay for hours they could but if not we could go.

I was hungry and was still not feeling myself. I was able to mostly hold it together for work but I was ready to get out of there.

I went to hunt valley and got a burrito at chipotle. I ate outside and it was beautiful out. It made me feel a little better.

I walked to Marshalls next. Where I got a candle and a cardigan and some body oil that smells like strawberry candy. And I just had a nice time looking around.

But I was ready to go home. I put on loud music to keep myself awake. I also drove with the windows down because it felt so nice out. And when I got home I got changed and showered. I cleaned the bottom of the fish tanks. And laid down.

I mostly just watched videos but eventually I did fall asleep. And had pretty intense dreams again. No idea why they have been so strong lately.

When I woke up James was there. They would make us nachos for dinner. I wouldn't feel ideal. So even though I already took a shower I decided to take a bath and fill wash my hair and shave my legs and it helped. While I was in there James went for a walk.

When they got back we just talked for a while. Hung out with Sweetp. Eventually got in bed to lay around and watch tiktoks together. And now the sun has set, surprising us both. I am going to go moisturize my face and get ready to sleep.

I have tomorrow off. And I am hoping to make a target run for some stuff. And clean the apartment. But mostly I just want to be alone. Which sounds terrible but also I haven't been a lone a lot lately and I'm sure the sun has been a big culprit in my tiredness but I also have not had any time to be by myself and we set. So let's hope tomorrow helps me out.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of each other! Goodnight!!

[merrymerryquitecontrary]

i met a bee yesterday, she landed on my pretty blue bicycle so i offered my hand to her and she immediately came on. then i walked over to some flower pots (a market square in the city). and she wouldn't leave for any of the flowers. wouldn't get off of me at all, even though i stuck her in front of several different types of flowers. nope. she kept sitting on my hand, walking around, cleaning herself, sitting again. i offered water, i dissolved a bit of a sweet in some water and still nothing. eventually i concluded that she probably wanted to get warm since it was a cooler day (19C, windy, but 19C is still warm for october), so i just stood there with her for 15 minutes, her little body in my curled palms, to keep as much warmth in as possibly. after a while, with no warning, she just flew off. cute.

I wanted to share my video here as well, thank you for all the love and kind comments I’ve received so far ~ by katharinawallen

Original audio

This warms my heart ...

[treeremovalservicesnj]

Best Practices for Tree Planting: Tips for Long-Term Growth

Planting a tree is much more than just digging a hole and sticking a sapling in the ground. It's about nurturing life and setting the stage for something that could last for generations. Whether you’re looking to transform your yard, add some natural shade, or boost your home’s curb appeal, the way you plant today will directly impact how that tree thrives tomorrow. A little extra care and attention now can make all the difference in the tree’s health and longevity. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the essentials of tree planting—from picking the perfect spot to caring for it long after it’s in the ground—so your tree not only survives but truly flourishes for years to come. And if you're ever faced with a tree that’s become problematic or unsafe, a tree care service in New Jersey can help you safely manage the situation.

1. Choose the Right Tree for Your Space

The first step to successful tree planting is selecting the right tree species for your environment and needs. Consider the following factors:

Climate: Ensure the tree species is suited to your climate zone. Some trees thrive in cold temperatures, while others need warmer climates to grow.

Size at Maturity: Be mindful of the tree’s eventual height and width. Planting a tree that will grow too large for its space can lead to future problems with roots, overgrowth, and interference with power lines or structures.

Soil Conditions: Different trees have different soil requirements. Test your soil for pH levels, drainage, and fertility, and choose a tree species that matches these conditions.

Purpose: Consider what you want the tree to do. Are you planting for shade, privacy, aesthetics, or fruit production? Your goals can influence the best species for your space.

2. Pick the Right Time to Plant

Planting trees at the right time of year is crucial for their survival. The ideal time to plant a tree is during its dormant season—typically late fall after the leaves have dropped or early spring before new growth begins.

Why Fall or Early Spring? These seasons provide the tree with the best conditions for root establishment. Cooler temperatures reduce stress on the tree, and the soil remains warm enough to encourage root growth.

3. Proper Site Selection

Once you’ve selected the right tree species and timing, the next step is choosing the best location for planting. Here’s what to keep in mind:

Sunlight: Most trees need full to partial sunlight to thrive. Ensure the site gets the necessary amount of light for the tree species you’re planting.

Space: Make sure you plant your tree far enough from structures, sidewalks, and driveways to accommodate its mature size. Roots can cause damage to foundations or underground pipes if planted too close.

Drainage: Check the site’s drainage conditions. Tree roots can drown in soil that remains waterlogged, so pick a well-draining area or consider adding soil amendments if needed.

Wind Exposure: Trees planted in very windy areas may require windbreaks or staking to prevent damage during early growth stages.

4. Digging the Right Hole

The most critical aspect of tree planting is digging the correct hole. A poorly dug hole can limit root growth, weaken the tree, and even lead to its death.

Width: Dig the hole 2 to 3 times wider than the root ball of the tree. This will give the roots room to expand into loose soil and establish themselves more easily.

Depth: The hole should be only as deep as the root ball. Planting too deep can suffocate the roots, while planting too shallow may expose them, leading to desiccation.

Loosen the Soil: Loosen the soil around the sides of the hole to encourage root growth into the surrounding area.

5. Position the Tree Correctly

Before placing the tree in the hole, carefully remove it from its container or burlap wrapping. Be cautious with the root ball to avoid damaging the delicate roots.

Inspect the Roots: Check the root system for any circling or tightly bound roots, which can cause long-term issues (known as "girdling"). Gently tease out or trim these roots to encourage proper outward growth.

Position the Tree: Place the tree in the hole, ensuring that it sits upright and that the top of the root ball is level with or slightly above the surrounding ground. Do not bury the trunk, as this can lead to rot and other issues.

6. Backfill and Water Properly

Once the tree is positioned, it’s time to backfill the hole with soil.

Backfilling: Use the soil you removed from the hole to backfill. Avoid adding excessive fertilizers or soil amendments, as these can encourage surface root growth rather than deeper rooting. Pack the soil gently to eliminate air pockets, but don’t compact it too tightly, as this can restrict root growth.

Watering: After backfilling, water the tree thoroughly to help settle the soil and provide the roots with much-needed moisture. Continue to water the tree regularly for the first year, especially during dry periods, to support root establishment.

7. Add Mulch (But Don’t Overdo It)

Mulching around your newly planted tree provides numerous benefits, including moisture retention, temperature regulation, and weed suppression. However, it’s important to mulch properly:

Apply 2 to 3 inches of mulch around the tree, extending out to the edge of the canopy.

Keep mulch away from the trunk of the tree to prevent rot and pest infestation. A mulch-free gap of 1 to 2 inches around the trunk is ideal.

Don’t pile mulch in a "volcano" shape around the tree base. This can lead to excess moisture retention and root problems.

8. Support Young Trees

If your tree is planted in an area exposed to strong winds, you may need to stake it for support. Use flexible ties or soft materials to secure the tree loosely to stakes, ensuring it can sway naturally in the wind, which helps strengthen its trunk. Be sure to remove the stakes after the first year to prevent girdling.

9. Protect from Wildlife and Pests

Newly planted trees are vulnerable to wildlife like deer, rabbits, and other pests that may nibble on the bark or leaves. Protect your tree by installing:

Tree guards or wraps around the trunk to prevent damage from animals.

Netting or fencing to keep animals away from young trees.

10. Maintain Your Tree for Long-Term Growth

After planting, care for your tree regularly to ensure long-term growth. Key maintenance tips include:

Watering: Consistent, deep watering is crucial during the first two years of growth. Don't just sprinkle the top of the soil. Water deeply to help the roots grow strong.

Pruning: Prune the tree in its dormant season to remove dead or damaged branches, promoting healthier growth.

Fertilization: Only fertilize if soil tests indicate nutrient deficiencies. Over-fertilizing can cause weak, leggy growth.

Monitoring for Pests and Diseases: Keep an eye out for signs of tree diseases or pest infestations, and address issues promptly to prevent long-term damage.

Conclusion

Proper tree planting sets the stage for years of healthy growth and a beautiful landscape. By following these best practices—choosing the right tree, planting it correctly, and caring for it in its early years—you'll enjoy a thriving tree that enhances your property for generations. Whether you're planting a small ornamental tree or a towering oak, investing time and effort into planting it properly is well worth it for long-term growth and success.

[dancingwithdecay]

monday, january 24, 2005

isn’t it messed up, how i’m just dying to be him

sometimes i look back at the things i write and just want to throw it away. its like when it gets kind of bad the words just fall off my tongue and fingertips. but when it’s at it’s worst- its just contrite and cliche. not that any of this matters. but when posts are disappearing it’s just me realizing i am being overdramatic. we’re looking in mirrors and laughing cause we’re in on it (princes of the scene, makeout queens).

you’re making it okay: uncrustables (strawberry only), tiny hoodies from the little boys section of thrift stores, new bright eyes, this movie windy city heat- i swear to god it is the funniest movie i have ever seen, elliot smith “from a basement…”, chocolate cake milkshakes, full moons, 80 degree weather in january, catcher in the rye (almost as cliche as me, but its the best there is, its safe), stealing clothes from photoshoots instead of doing laundry (never should have let us try on the clothes hahaha), the san diego zoo, bob for buying me an electic scooter-FBR tour is gonna be radical, new panic at the disco song, patrick laughing at me trying to squeeze into hilarious jeans- i promise you it’s gonna happen, champaign for my real friends- real pain for my sham friends.

i think you’re gonna like the new record, it’s like a day away from being finished- at least the recording part….

as for the internet drama. its over. we’re all friends- and fob fans are way cooler than any other bands. you are the only thing that makes it worthwhile.

“it feels like the first day of my life, glad i didn’t die before i met you”.

[noosesurroundsme]

Sunday is my birthday and I really want to give up

J decided to come back around again after just deciding he didn't want to talk to me anymore 4 months ago. A week before my Hiking trip Memorial Day weekend he texted me saying he wanted to give me my things back, which he could have done at any time if he didn't feel like seeing me, but he wanted to I guess. It was nice because I didn't have to buy another car charger for my phone for this 2500 mile road trip. He then wanted to hang out the night I was planning on leaving after I got off work, which is fine, but instead of leaving Wisconsin at 8-8:30pm, I left home at almost 10. Luckily I had my bags packed already, just had to load a cooler and put everything in the car.

I was really close to ending it before this trip. I was tired of my siblings, with work, and my uncle and his girlfriend being awful parents to my baby cousin (he's the best little toddler ever, he's fun and pretty well behaved). The stuff with my uncle and his girlfriend just completely unraveled before I left too so two weeks before Memorial Day I just decided I'm driving to Wyoming to go hiking in Medicine Bow-Routt National Forest and see a classic car museum in Nebraska. It made me feel so much better. Unfortunately the Medicine Bow peak trail was closed, the elevation up at the peak is 12k ft and there was still 6-8ft of snow along the side of the road up there, 30°F and super windy. I camped in Vedauwoo which is 50 miles from the bottom of Medicine Bow but still considered part of the forest. Laramie and Cheyenne, WY are cute little western towns and it felt really welcoming seeing a pride flag on the front window of this cute little local grocery store that I went to in Laramie. I did dispersed camping in the National Forest Parks which is only like $20 a night. It was a lot of fun. I also went to see Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota and camped out there. Driving the Needles Highway in SD was so much fun, especially with my daily being a 5 speed and awd. I had a lot of fun out there until the car broke. I pushed it too hard when I was having fun so my mom drove out and I towed it home on basically no sleep, 850 mi and 12+ hours (if the truck didn't have its own issues). I was up for two days. I went to work the morning we got back, on no sleep. I basically pulled the car off the trailer, returned the trailer, and my mom dropped me off at work right away.

All of that is just a long winded way of getting to the point. I've been home now for 2 or 3 weeks. My birthday is in a few days which I don't know what to do about. I hate that day. So many bad things happen. Now with J around again I don't know what to do. I started to get used to him not talking to me anymore and now I'm not ready if he still remembers what Sunday is and texts me or calls me or whatever. I usually turn my phone off and go far away and hide anyway. I kinda want to tell him I can't do it so he goes back away. I can't forget or forgive. I'm not good at that. I have a really good memory in a bad way. I ruminate over things forever. I still do about things from when I was 6 or middle school or other times/events of my life. I can't get past things. I can't forgive him or myself.

It doesn't help that now I'm pretty much stuck at home again. That trip showed me I don't have to be confined anymore. I have a car and can leave basically whenever the hell I want to and see the beauty in nature. Now my car is broken, I have to rebuild the engine or replace it (we'll see when I get it apart) so I'm stuck. I'm broke and I'm stuck. My aunt let me drive her car since she is bed ridden from a stroke, but I don't even get to have the fun of daily driving a stick shift car because it's broken.

I really want to give up.