#it just feels so unnecessary to do all that sober when i could also do it high

[2024skin]

Gotta keep the no weed posts to a minimum lest people think it's actually a good thing I'm smoking less

[seriesxwriting]

Give us a chance

W Rafe Cameron

Series- outer banks!

Summary- He’s been ignoring you lately? But now you and Rafe get stranded in the middle of the sea. Just you two. Alone. You can’t both hide your feelings foreverrr.

Warnings- swearing, kissing, Rafe saving your character from boys taking advantage.

(No season three spoilers in this)

Request are open for all and anything🫶

“Are you serious right now” Rafe stormed over to me pulling me away from some guys lap. I don’t even know who he was but- alcohol makes you do stupid things. “Rafe- get off me” I giggled pushing him away from me. “Are you serious y/n” “what are you moaning about now” my eyes rolled as my arms folded. I tried to look at him but my eyes began falling shut.

“Your fucking hammered- you can barely stand up” he stepped over catching me with one arm around my waist. “That’s because you dragged me up from my seat too fast” I raised my eyebrows at him. “I’m taking you home” “Rafe no! I’m havi- having fun” I shook my head trying to pull back.

“Y/n!” “Why! Why are you taking me home why are you looking out for me- you do it all the time I see you watching me at parties, you’ve been watching me all night here” I frowned raising my voice slightly. “Because we’re friends” he frowned stepping close to me again.

“We were friends!” I scoffed, turning away from him as my eyes filled up with tears. “Before you so randomly started blowing me off and ignoring me- I’m not leaving with you unless you tell me why”. Rafe stared at me blankly before bringing his hand up to rub the side of his head. “Fine we will talk but on the way home” he bargained with me throwing me a stern look.

I gazed around at the rest of the party on the little near by island we had found. “Fine- how did you get here” “my boat” Rafe nodded his head towards it. “Come on- on then” I stirred spinning around a bit too fast, as I took my first step my legs began to wobble. Rafe lifted me in one Swift move, holding me in his arms walking to the boat.

“Unnecessary” I whispered wrapping my arms around his neck, kind of liking being up here. He stoped at the steps of his grand yacht to look down at me with his baby blue eyes. Holding the eye contact. Hot. How easy it would be to lift my head up right now.

“C-can you climb up?” Rafe shook his head tearing away from me. “Yes- yeah” I nodded gripping the ladder as rafe put me down on land. We both climbed up and went to sit in the wheelhouse. “I’m going to make you a coffee first- sober you up” “are you just delaying your answer?” I curled up in a ball on the sofa removing my shoes. Rafe looked at me with a knowing look and smiled before disappearing.

The music was fading when Rafe closed the door, the sounds of the party drowned out while I waited for him to return. He took about ten minutes before coming back with a blanket, slippers and a coffee in his arms for me. I smiled when I saw him, that was cute. “Five sugars?” Rafe smirked putting the cup down on the side table. “You remembered?”.

“How could I forget that, I’ve never met anyone else that takes five sugars” he chuckled, laying the slippers on the floor and opening the blanket for me. “Thank you Rafe” I nodded my head once. The boy kinda brushed past it, he wasn’t much of a sappy person and he couldn’t take a compliment or a thank you from anyone. Ever.

He started up the engine on the boat and slowly we started sailing away while I sipped my coffee and watched the island fade away. “So tell me” I looked over at him after a few minutes of silence. “What did I do wrong” “nothing” he replied bluntly staring into the pitch black ocean. “So what happened then? Why did you start pretending like I didn’t exist”

“We’re not doing this, I just said that so i could get you home” “I know” I answered softly. “it was worth a try” my shoulders shrugged sadly. “I also know I haven’t done anything wrong, because I’d never do anything to upset you rafe” I told him truthfully. “What ever it is you can talk to me we can sort it out- I don’t want you to stay away from me”

“That’s easier said than done, even if I wanted to I clearly couldn’t stay away from you” he told me in the exact same tone and facial expression. “Did- you want to?” I asked lowly hoping for a no. “No” Rafe turned to look at me now for the first time in this conversation. “I had to- I have to”.

“Why?” I questioned feeling full of confusion. “Why” Rafe laughed looking back into the night. “Why did you get so drunk tonight, there’s many why’s” he replied.

“I- had another argument with my parents” I told him after a few seconds looking at the floor. “That still happening?” “They want me to follow in the family business- I don’t want to, it’s never going to be solved” “well, I want to be in the family business- I feel like my dad doesn’t want me there sometimes” Rafe laughed to himself.

I looked over at him smiling at our similarities, just as I did the boat engine began to stop. Rafe frowned and hit the petrol sign on the panel like that was going to solve something. “What the fuck” he whispered to himself turning the key again and again. “Out of petrol?” “No I’ve still got half a tank- something must be caught it’s too dark to go out and see” he sighed putting his head in his hands.

“Fuck!” The boy slammed his hand into the steering wheel making me jump and spill the coffee down the blanket. “Shit- im sorry” Rafe jumped up when he noticed to grab a pack of tissues. “It’s- its okay, we just have to wait right? until the morning” “yeah” he nodded wiping the coffee off me whilst knelt down. He looked up at me and chuckled raising a hand with his thumb out.

He dragged it across my cheek wiping the splashes of coffee off me. I caught his hand when he tried taking it back. In this moment it was just me and Rafe in the world. The sounds of the sea were the only thing that could be heard. He was staring into my eyes and I did it back. I didn’t want this moment to end.

But something had to ruin it. A boat noise appeared and it sounded like someone was parking next to us. “Who’s- that?” I whispered feeling a sense of fear take over me. “Stay here” Rafe rubbed my hand with his thumb before standing up to go and see who it was. He opened the door peering down the side of the boat.

“Rafe? That you?” A voice yelled up “yeah” he called back down. “It’s just Tommy” Rafe told me when I stood up. I walked over to the side of him to see a very drunk Tommy, Daniel and Carl in the little speed boat beside us. “Y/n? What you doing here” Tommy asked loudly. “going- home” I answered.

“So Why are you guys parked in the middle of nowhere- you Two been up to something?” Carl giggled swigging the bottle again. “Nah engine is fucked we’re just waiting it out” Rafe told them taking precautions it looked like. Seeing Rafe looking at them like that made me feel kind of scared. What was he thinking, what were they up to?

The three boys started giggling and whispering to each other about something. “Tell you what, we will take y/n home, take real good care of her for you so she’s not stuck out here huh” Tommy offered up with a grin. I didn’t want to go with them something was off, but I didn’t know how to say no. I moved forward to go down the stairs but Rafe cut off my exist with his arm. Thank heaven. No thank Rafe Cameron.

“Yeah i Don’t think so” he shook his head with a smiled on the corner of his mouth. “What’s the problem Rafe? Don’t you want her safe at home” Carl laughed wiggling his eyebrows “she’s safe here, you can go now” “all kinda threats out here” “I said you can go, or are we going to have a problem? Because I promise you will lose” Rafe leant over the rail of the boat.

“It really should be the ladies decision- we could have some real fun together” Tommy smirked undressing me with his eyes. “Of course that part probably wouldn’t have been the ladies decision” carl shrugged and the three boys laughed. Rafe slammed his hand down on the pole before racing down the stairs. Tommys face dropped and he tried starting the boat up again.

Rafe reached over the side grabbing Carl by the neck. “You talk about her like that again I’ll fucking drown you” Rafe spat, as he drew his arm back to punch Tommy started the speed boat and Daniel held onto Carl. Rafe dropped him watching closely as they sped off panicking. My heart pounded against my chest and when Rafe turned around he saw it in my face.

“Your okay there gone” he told me walking back up to me. I ran down the stairs meeting him half way. I’d hugged rafe a thousand times but this time, he instigated it. His arms were open. And I hugged him tight as a tear fell onto his top. “I won’t let anyone lay a fucking finger on you y/n, ever” he whispered into my hair running his hand though it.

“How can you say that to me when your never with me anymore” “I’m always watching out for you, I’d never let anything happen” Rafe told me pushing my head up by my chin. “But yet you still can’t tell me why you can’t even be seen with me” I pulled away drying my eyes. “Y/n it’s in your best interest if you don’t know” he told me sadly and tried to walk up the stairs.

“No it’s not Rafe! I need to know what’s going on it plays on my mind constantly!” “You don’t, you think you do but you don’t want to know” he shook his head gently moving my arm so he could ascend to the top. “How can you possibly know that!” “Because if I tell you y/n! Everything is ruined everything changes!” Rafe shook his head, I noticed his eyes were a little watery too.

“I’m a big girl rafe, i might take you by surprise” I called out desperately still waiting on the steps. “You really… you really want to know?” Rafe chuckled shaking his head. But I just folded my arms and raised one eyebrow up. Rafe looked at me for a second before bolting it down the stairs. He stopped inches away from me, inches away from my lips. “Do you get it yet?” He whispered looking at my lips and then back up to my eyes.

My heart pounded against my chest as I leant in hitting his lips. Rafe pulled back instantly and looked at me with wide eyes. I held my breath waiting for him to say something but instead he came back to me pulling me towards him by my hip. I held onto his neck as we kissed for the first time ever. Rafe was right, this had ruined something. But this could be way better than what we had, change can be good.

He moved a hand to my faces as we pulled away breathless. I didn’t know what to say, neither did he apparently. So we kissed again until one of us knew how to react. “I’m still going to need an explanation here” I told him smiling not letting go of him. “Only if I get one too” Rafe shrugged holding onto me tight. “Can we sit down?”. He nodded taking my hand and we made it to the sofa. Rafe pulled me down by my waist on top of him as I squealed.

“We just kissed” he giggled like a boy with his first crush. “I think I’ve liked you for a long time rafe, I just didn’t realise until you stopped talking to me” I ran my thumb up and down his arm. “That’s why I stopped talking to you” “that doesn’t make sense? Why didn’t you just tell me?” His eyes dropped as if he didn’t want to talk about it. “Didn’t think I stood even a one percent chance really”

“What?” I frowned pushing his face to look at me. “I’m fucked up y/n, you can do better” “your not fucked up rafe! I won’t have you talking about yourself like that- I don’t want anything else I- I only want you rafe” I whispered playing with the bottom of his hair. “Your sweet you just don’t let people see it, but I see it and I always have” “so I haven’t ruined anything?” He questioned holding my face too.

“You made it better- presuming you make me your girlfriend of course” I giggled excitedly. “That was a given the moment I kissed you- I don’t kiss anyone like that” Rafe told me seriously. “I want you, your all I want all I’ve ever wanted” “I want you too rafe” I leant our foreheads together.

“You’ve got me”.

[copperbadge]

The Adventures Of Joe Superfly

I haven't been able to work on Chicken Salad War much recently -- it's less writer's block and more a confluence of issues that mean when I have the time I'm too tired for something novel-sized. It's temporary, but when I don't get to write I do start to get restless.

So the other night as I was doing dishes I circled around to a small issue that keeps nipping at me, which is Ephraim. He's got the most normal name of any of the Ramblers, which is uncharacteristic of Ceece and Tully. Well, I thought, maybe they let Eddie name him, but why would they let Eddie, the oldest, name the youngest, and not the THREE OTHERS inbetween? And why would Eddie pick Ephraim?

I decided to do up a little story about Eph, how he came by his name and what his life experiences have been. Much of it's a spoiler that needs a content warning but I figured I'd share a brief fun scene. Also it's good practice for writing Eph's somewhat elliptical style of speech; he is a man who gives no unnecessary context, and sometimes no necessary context. (All the context you all need to know is that Ephraim's parents wanted to name him Cherry Windward and instead Eddie named him Ephraim Prunus.)

Noah was on dishes duty with Joan, Ed's newly adopted eldest daughter, the evening that Ephraim found Ed on the porch of the royal fishing lodge. He sat next to him companionably, rocking on the porch swing and looking out at the lake.

"How many different names do you think you'll have in your life?" he asked without preamble. Ed laughed.

"I don't know. I think once you become a king the name locks in place," he said. "I've been Theophile and Ted and Ed and Eddie, and now back around to Theophile, at least in public. And then there's 'Dad' too. Why do you ask?"

Ephraim shrugged. "Monday was telling Jes about you naming me. Got to thinking about it."

"Well, you did return the favor eventually," Ed said. "Ed has suited me. Thinking of changing your name?"

"I was thinking of going by Prunus," Ephraim said, with such a deadpan expression that Ed hesitated, then burst out laughing when Eph smiled.

"Punk," he said, shoving Ephraim gently. "I only gave you that one to make mom and dad feel better about you having a normal-ass name. Man, you could see Dad's gears turning. We can always call him Pru."

Ephraim cackled. "Pru! Funny. I guess just…thanks."

"For what, big guy?" Ed asked.

"I didn't think I'd ever see Europe. Didn't think anyone outside Santa Luna would understand," Ephraim said. "But you went all over the world and found somewhere just like home. And I get to be here too. Which means maybe…I can be other places as well."

"There will always be a place for you, anywhere I am," Ed said seriously.

"Yes but also. They get it." Ephraim put on a lilting Shivadh accent. "That's Ephraim, he's King Theophile's brother, he doesn't say much but he's a good lad. No, you let Mr. Rambler alone, he's just shy. Hello young Ephraim, point out what you want to order when you're ready." He looked back out at the lake. "They're kind. I could thrive here."

"But not just yet, huh?" Ed asked. "Not with Noah leaving soon. He's going to Aotearoa and then coming to California, where you'll be."

"Yes."

"And after he graduates?" Ed asked delicately. "Maybe both of you back here?"

Ephraim turned to him. "I don't have a five year plan," he said witheringly, and this time Ed knew he was teasing.

"You son of a -- how dare you accuse me of asking you for a five year plan! Like I'm some kind of responsible adult? Roasted by my own blood!"

"You need it, Your Majesty," Ephraim said, then sobered. "I don't know yet. We'll figure it out."

"I'm sure you will."

"If you were going to name me again, what would you pick?"

Ed tousled his hair. "Buddy, you are now and forever Ephraim to me unless someday you tell me otherwise. I can't name you again. I don't think you need it, you're only just growing into that one. But if you did want a new name, I think you'd have to come up with it yourself -- or ask Noah."

Ephraim nodded thoughtfully. "I'm okay. Just curious."

"I think if you do you should move even more towards the extremes, though. From Cherry Windward to Ephraim Prunus to, I dunno, Joe Superfly."

"Joe Superfly!" Ephraim crowed. "Joe Superfly Rambler!"

"The twins should be glad we named them Edward and Miranda," Ed mused.

"Edward Superfly," Ephraim gasped.

"It's a great movie!"

"Miranda Shaft!" Ephraim blurted, and both brothers laughed until they cried.

[seikoru]

!Nerd Armin h'cs

Since I found out that the dudes here love !Nerd Armin, I felt it was my duty to share my head-canons on him. I have no idea how to use tumblr at all but here it is. All of this is a pieces of my au for a huge storyline armin fanfic with original female character, so…. just enjoy

You met completely by accident. You only went to Wall High School this year when you moved. And you didn't really like the local way of doing things. The whole caste thing, the whole cool dudes/loser thing. it was weird.

You wanted to hang out with everyone, no matter how different they were. Even though you were considered a cool and pretty girl by their metrics.

You first asked Armin for help after another biology class with a hell of a teacher, and he gladly agreed to help.

Armin was immediately very sweet to you. The way he would sometimes adjust his glasses or tuck a strand of hair behind his ear while he was explaining a topic to you…

To be honest, he was a bit frustrated by your lack of results after his help. You were barely getting better grades. He just didn't notice that half the time you weren't looking at the textbook, but at him.

But the more you became friends, the better his character revealed to you. He was known around school as the creepy anime otaku. Was that true? Absolutely. When you first went to his place, you were literally in a pink kingdom where all the walls were covered with anime girls.

Yeah, Armin had never felt the touch of a woman before. He'd had friends like Mikasa, but you… you were something else.

You'd been friends for almost six months until the winter ball was announced. And you literally didn't know who to go with. There were tons of guys chasing you, but they were all like Reiner: idiotic jocks.

The prom was coming up, and you still hadn't found a date. Armin rejected the prom: he didn't like the idea of jostling with sweaty, drunken teenagers to idiotic music in a stuffy room when he could be at home playing video games.

You managed to talk him into going out with you as a friend.

Did you kiss him ballroom night? Yes, you did.

When you, already drunk, said "I want to kiss you", Armin was quite taken aback. At first he just pulled you away and said something like "You need to sober up," but his heart was jumping out of his chest.

When you started convincing him of your sincere affection for him, he became hesitant. Quietly he muttered "I don't want you playing with my feelings".

You asked "Feelings?". He realized he had said something unnecessary, but there was no turning back. So you moved closer, took his glasses off his nose and gently touched his lips with yours.

In a relationship, Armin is the ultimate golden retriever. He smiles widely when he accidentally meets you in the school hallway at recess and is adorably embarrassed when you fleetingly touch him in public.

You're not allowed to spend much time together, lest you bring a wave of bullying on Armin. You had to keep yourselves within the school castes. But you guys didn't like the PDA anyway, so it wasn't a big problem.

Armin is proud of his collection of anime girls on his wall, but he's even more proud of his girlfriend. He always thought you were out of his league, and he couldn't hope for anything more than friendship.

But how happy he was when you would come to his house and sit on his lap while he was on Discord with his friends playing some games.

Armin often caught hyperfixated on his studies and wouldn't get out from under mountains of textbooks. It's not like you like studying much. But Armin is fine with it: he's willing to do ABSOLUTELY ALL of your homework for you.

Socially, he doesn't show how soft he is on the inside. While you were friends, you were sure he only knew how to be sassy. But hell, it turns out he's also good at kneeling in front of you, slowly kissing your ankles, calves and knees, working his way up to your thighs-

And you loved owning that side of him. Supple, belonging only to you. When he stared at you with admiring eyes, and you gently brushed away the strands of hair that fell across his face. He could have tell to fuck off to anyone else without a second thought, but not you.

[dontknowplshelp]

One Piece Characters accidentally kissing you pt.3

-> with Shanks & Ace

(shanks one wasn’t really an accident but idc)

pt.1, pt.2

Ace

it’s a basic trope but it’s one of my favorites okay??

you both have a crush on each other and literally everybody knows about it

EXCEPT THIS DUMBASS

he probably didn’t even notice his own feelings towards you

but it was this one moment, a millisecond, that he realized everything

you two were fighting about some unnecessary things like ‘who would win the fight, goku or saitama??’

but you were so into it that you didn’t realize what was going on behind you

marco had enough of you two not confessing already when it was sooo obvious

so he “accidentally” bumped into you, which caused you to fall forwards

ace tried to catch you but lost balance himself and BAAAM both on the ground, you on top

it wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t about his face being a bit too close?? and why were your lips touching something😭😭 (i mean his lips i swear)

as i said before, the kiss only lasted for a millisecond but that was more than enough for ace

he needed a moment to calm down and get his mind out of the clouds

asked you out right after

& if he could kiss you again

Shanks

so you two were just drinking and chatting around yk like ‘friends’ do

except for the fact that you didn’t want to be seen as a friend at all

thinking about your current relationship with shanks made you drink a bit more than usual

so obviously you were the first one to get drunk

mf drinks like it’s water

now we all know that shanks is a handsome man

and other women notice that too (i mean i would also take a glimpse👀)

you always noticed the way they looked at him but today was kinda different

it made you angry. they were so open about their feelings and desires, why couldn’t you??

so you grabbed him by the collar and 😙😙😙

you already expected him to pull away but him actually doing it still made you disappointed

the day after, you didn’t even want to look him in the face but you had to apologize after probably making him uncomfortable & causing an awkward situation

well, guess what

you didn’t even get to apologize

the moment he saw you he pulled you closer to bring your lips together

you were confused ,yes , but that didn’t matter

the short kiss developed into a loooong and passionate one :DD

yeah bla bla you both confess and he was like i knew you were drunk yesterday bla bla i wanted you to be sober OK BRO YOU COUDVE SAID THAT BEFORE I LITERALLY HAD THE WORST THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD???

anyways love y’all bye

[beautysamour]

Mission: Impossible

Pairing: Kaz x reader

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey

Summary: The mission is quite literally impossible to complete- well, improbable might be the more proper word to use for this.

warnings: none.

enjoy!!

As of right now, Kaz is certain that Jesper is an idiot. Well that’s a lie, Jesper is not an idiot, he’s just being an idiot right now.

“Come on, boss. Ain’t that hard.” Jesper teased.

“It’s unnecessary.”

This is one of the moments where Kaz is glad that the club is so loud, so no one can hear the conversation that is currently going on with the two crows.

“Well, the feelings aren’t real so there’s no way you could fail this mission. All you have to do is confess.”

Jesper is no idiot. He is well aware of his boss’ feelings towards said person, that’s why Jesper created the perfect plan to make Kaz confess.

With a dare that’s presented as a mission, Jesper had no doubt in his mind that this would succeed, you’ve already confided in him and confessed your feelings of infatuation towards your guys’ boss. Even though you weren’t sober at the time, Jesper knew better. Drunk words are sober thoughts.

Kaz remained silent then abruptly left, leaving Jesper alone and confused but nevertheless Jesper came to the conclusion that he went to find you. He always goes to you.

—

Jesper was right, Kaz went to find you. As he always did. He waited for you as you finished your conversation with one of the bartenders, once you did you turned your body towards his.

“Hello boss,” you said with a smile. Kaz tried to ignore his heartbeat increasing and cleared his throat before speaking, to make sure he wouldn’t stutter. “Don’t call me boss, reminds me too much of Jesper.” He inwardly winced at his own tone, it came out too harsh for what he had meant.

He would never voluntarily speak to you in a harsh way.

You let out a small chuckle and Kaz feels his heartbeat beat even faster, if that was possible.

“Right. So Kaz, do we have a new mission already?”

Kaz tried to think of his words carefully. Yes, technically there was a new mission, but it wasn’t for you. “No,” he decided to say, “just wanted a drink.”

He sat in the barstool next to you, leaving you baffled. Kaz never drank, just wasn’t his thing. Remembering what Jesper told you, about him jokingly telling Kaz about your feelings, you look across the bar to where he’s at. Jesper is already looking at you. A silent conversation begins.

Jesper.

It’s the perfect time.

My feelings aren’t a joke. You know he doesn’t do relationships, he doesn’t do feelings.

The only response you get in return is a tilt of the head and a raise of an eyebrow. The both of you knew that you were always an exception.

You leave that internal conversation with Jesper and look back at Kaz who takes a sip out of his drink. Feeling your gaze of him, Kaz turns his head and meets your gaze- both of you feel as if your heart stopped.

Deciding that you’re tired of constantly hiding your feelings for him, you lean forward. He leans back but you grab his tie and pull him back to you.

You estimate about an inch of space is between the two of you now.

Your gaze falls on his lips and it’s hurts that you’re so close yet so far away from his lips. Kaz separates his lips, you’re not sure if it was to speak or if he was letting you know that he also wanted this, but you decided that you’d rather run than face rejection.

You abruptly push yourself back and away from him, “sorry- I don’t know what I was thinking.” You pick up your jacket and make you way out of the bar.

Still processing everything that happened, all Kaz does is watch you leave. The feeling of Jesper’ hand hitting Kaz’ shoulder is what takes him out of his thoughts.

“Boss, they was literally right there!” Kaz wasn’t listening.

Kaz Brekker was wrong once again, when Jesper first brought up this little…mission, he was sure that it would be impossible, that he wouldn’t be able to confess because he was sure that you didn’t do feelings. Seems that it wasn’t that it would be impossible, just improbable because now he realizes how much an idiot he was for letting you walk away all because he was surprised.

Idiot.

[svnflower-writes]

real sweet but i wish you were sober

Description: in which the mutual pining becomes something both Remus and Sirius have wanted for years due to a drunk, jealous slip up on Sirius' part.

ship: wolfstar + background jegulus

warnings: nothing major I can think of—alcohol consumption, so much fluff, unresolved sexual and romantic tension, painfully obvious flirting, james regulus and peter are a bunch of little shits, jealousy

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51762532

authors note: SO MUCH FLUFF and remus is second guessing EVERYTHING. obviously inspired by wish you were sober by conan gray :) they’re not together when this starts and remus is feeling very unsure about a lot of things. sirius helps him out with that though ;) somehow from the dining table by harry styles possessed me to write this in half an hour idk why it doesn’t even give the same vibes but ig it feels like a wolfstar song to me soooo —as always this is unedited and i wrote it at 2am so i might read it later and think it's total shit (but currently this is my fave wolfstar fic i've writen) also this was meant to be like 500 words and its almost 2k lmaooo

Remus was a blushing mess. Sirius had insisted on doing Remus’ eyeliner—saying that Remus would just look ‘so hot’ in it—and who was he to refuse? For Sirius, he would do anything. The problem was, he hadn’t exactly pictured agreeing to this resulting in Sirius straddling his hips, leaning extremely close to his face with his tongue poked out due to his level of focus.

“Merlin, Moony, you’ll be the hottest one at the party.” Well, one of us certainly will be, and it’s not me.

Remus was screaming internally, but he mustered a playful smirk and a quick: “am I not already?”

Sirius sent him a grin as he continued to do his makeup, “of course you are, darling. Anyone who disagrees is blind.”

Remus was certainly not blind when it came to noticing the tiny things Sirius was doing, however. The way he pushed his dark curls out of his eyes with one hand and clenched his jaw slightly in concentration with one eyebrow slightly raised? Fucking hell, it drove him insane. Remus wanted so strongly to just grab his face and smash their lips together.

He didn’t do that, obviously.

“Okay, I’m almost done,” Sirius muttered while he did the final touches to the eyeliner. “You ready for everyone at this party to fall madly in love with you?” I only want you to love me.

Remus swallowed a lump in his throat and looked up at Sirius, “as long as you’re one of them.”

Sirius looked a little taken aback for a moment and Remus could’ve sworn he saw him blush, but he was likely just seeing what he wanted to see. At the look on Sirius’ face, Remus mentally cursed himself for speaking his thoughts aloud. Remus’ worry was unnecessary—as it often was—because a broad smile soon took over his features and he pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek. “You can count on that.”

Even after he had pulled away, Remus could feel the ghost of his lips where they had been on his cheek, and he refused to look at Sirius because he knew he was a blushing mess.

“Moony?”

This broke Remus out of his thoughts, and he looked up with wide eyes. “Yeah?”

Sirius smirked in amusement at Remus’ absentmindedness and the fluffy-haired boy could only hope that he was unaware that he was the cause of it all. “Could you go check if James is ready? I need to fix my outfit.”

Remus scoffed softly, “Pads, I hardly think your outfit needs fixing.” Sirius was wearing a white cropped tank top—Moony loved it because showed off his tattoos and biceps— with an array of necklaces draped around his neck. He had on his favourite baggy jeans (the ones with stars on them that Remus had helped him make) and a black belt adorning his waist, and the look was finished off with a pair of Dr. Martens.

Sirius winked at him, “well, you know me. I have to look perfect for you, my love.”

The last two words almost resulted in Sirius being pushed up against the wall, so Remus opted for a short: “You always look perfect to me, darling,” before he exited the room as fast as he possibly could.

He found James downstairs in their common room, lying on the couch with Regulus curled up at his side. James was stroking Regulus’ hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ears, and Remus smiled at the two as he flopped down on the seat opposite them. James looked up and surveyed his flushed cheeks, he then asked casually, “so, have you two made out yet?”

Remus threw the nearest book (which happened to be Lily’s current reread, Pride and Prejudice) at him before glancing across at Lily, who was sat across the common room watching the exchange with a grin. “Sorry, Lily. it was for a good cause.”

“No, no. I’m curious too. Are the two of you,” she wiggled her eyebrows playfully, “getting any action?”

Remus glared at his friend, “shut up. And for your information, no.”

Regulus cooed at him from where he sat with James, “oh, poor Remus. So much flirting, so little of anything else—including your transfiguration notes, by the way. I wanted to borrow someone’s notes for the class I missed, so I asked James, who obviously redirected me to your extensive pile of notes on your desk. That desk is very disorganised, by the way. But alas, no notes. Never thought you were the type to forget to take notes. Spending too much time yearning over my brother in that class, Lupin?”

Remus looked away in embarrassment, “don’t rely on someone else’s notes next time, Reggie.”

“Don’t spend hours on end staring at my brother and I wouldn’t have to call you out for not having your notes.”

Groaning, Remus stood up, “okay, I’m going to get a sweater. See you guys soon!” he began to walk up the stairs but he was stopped when he walked into Sirius walking down. He had redone his hair and put it half into a low bun, and he had gained several rings and had a leather jacket in his hands.

He grinned at Remus, “ready to go?”

“Oh, I need-”

His favourite woollen jumper was shoved into his arms and he blinked slowly as Sirius spoke. “I thought you might want it.”

Remus shifted his weight from side to side as he looked down at the sweater in his hands and he was overcome with an overwhelming sense of adoration for the boy standing in front of him.

He didn’t realise how long he had been staring down at it until Sirius ruffled his hair softly.

“Hey, you okay? You zoned out.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I’m fine, thanks for getting this. We can go down now, if you want?”

Sirius nodded, taking Remus’ hand and tugging him gently down the stairs. Remus felt his heart beating faster than he deemed normal, but he couldn’t remember anything about human biology at that moment due to his mind racing at a million miles per minute. As the two walked into the common room, he met eyes with Lily and sent her an alarmed expression, to which she smirked at. She tapped Mary’s shoulder and pointed at Sirius and Remus’ entwined hands. Mary grinned and gave a silent cheer directed to Remus.

There were already more people in the common room, a variation of people Remus recognised and people he didn’t (admittedly more of the later group). Sirius led Remus towards James, Regulus, and Peter, who were now sitting upright on the couch. Remus sat next to Regulus and the boy smirked at him.

“You’re a mess, Lupin.”

Peter walked around the back of the couch to whisper in Remus’ ear, “I say just kiss and be done with it. This flirting is sickening.” Remus gently slapped Peter’s shoulder with the hand that wasn’t still clasped in Sirius’ ring-clad one and the other boy lightly gasped. “Well, they do say love makes people crazy.”

Remus groaned loudly at Peter’s words, and Sirius turned to him. “You okay?”

“No, he’s in-” Remus pressed his free hand over Peter’s mouth with a warning expression directed at the shorter boy.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He smiled at Sirius, who looked unconvinced and squeezed his hand reassuringly. Remus almost melted right then and there, and Peter snickered at the interaction.

James stood up abruptly, “alright, who wants some firewhisky?”

Sirius cheered, standing up to follow James and pulling Remus to his feet by the hand he didn’t quite want to let go of just yet.

Ten minutes later, Remus was leaning against the wall with a half full glass of firewhisky and a small smile on his face as he watched Sirius participating in some stupid dare. The long-haired boy kept sending little glances over at Remus to see if he was watching and letting his teasing gaze linger when they made eye contact. Somehow, Sirius had convinced Regulus to participate in the game, and the two brothers had light, carefree smiles on their faces.

Remus felt another presence next to him and looked over to see James, watching the Black brothers with a yearning look on his face similar to the one that was probably adorning Remus’ face. Smiling at Remus,

James muttered, “oh, our stars are so pretty.”

Remus nodded in agreement, “so pretty.”

The two stood there with adoring expressions painting their features for another ten minutes minutes before Remus felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, warm breath alarmingly close to his ear. He was overcome with an immense feeling of discomfort.

A sultry feminine voice whispered, “well, aren’t you a handsome specimen, what if I-”

The voice didn’t even get a chance to finish before Remus felt a well-known hand grab his own. “What if you piss off and take your wandering hands out of my boyfriend’s personal space?”

Remus did a double take.

His eyes widened slightly and he glanced at where James had been with a confused expression, only to find that his friend had disappeared. When he finally mustered the courage to look at Sirius, he was surprised to find him with a deep blush covering his cheeks. They met eyes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! I didn’t know how else to get her away from you—and you were so uncomfortable, I couldn’t just stand there and watch. Plus, I didn’t want her touching you– I’m sorry, I’m rambling, fuck.”

Remus had the best idea he had had all night long. “Who said it was something to be sorry for?”

Sirius froze. “What do you mean?”

“What do you think I mean?”

Sirius looked into Remus’ eyes for a few moments before grabbing his face and smashing their lips together. It was a messy kiss, all teeth clashing and hands grabbing at hair.

Remus pulled away suddenly, “how drunk are you, exactly?”

“Not drunk enough to be making this up, if that’s what you’re asking?”

“Sober enough to remember it in the morning?”

“Well, if I don’t, we can always recreate it.” Sirius winked playfully and squeezed Remus’ hand.

“Hmm, can’t say I’d be opposed to that, darling…” Remus trailed off slowly as he pushed Sirius against the wall, bringing their lips together in another kiss. This kiss was slow, sweet, and a stark contrast to their first kiss. Remus had one hand resting on Sirius’ cheek and another tangled in his curls, and Sirius’ had his arms draped over Remus’ shoulders.

Remus’ eyes suddenly caught the metal glint of a necklace hanging around Sirius’ neck, and he raised an eyebrow as he pulled slightly away from the kiss. “Is that mine?”

Sirius scoffed, “you never wore it, anyway. It was wasted on you.” Remus smiled softly and wasted no time in bringing their lips together once again.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For not telling my girlfriend I wore glasses as an accessory and not because I needed them?

So context for this, I met my (genderqueer 21) gf (tgirl 22) when I was 17 and her 18, and right before highschool, I got my eyes checked because I thought glasses might help me with my double vision. It did not, but they gave me glasses for a very slight blur in my vision that I had. I got them and kept them because I thought, "Hey! I like how I look with these!" So I wore them even though I didn't really need them. During highschool I ended up meeting my current gf through a long distance poly thing that went sour and ended with me and my current gf pulling out and becoming monogamous together.

Now the thing I didn't realize is, since I didn't have any friends during highscool, she was the only person who met me when I wore glasses, so she was under the assumption it was something I always needed.

When the pull out with her and I happened, I was living out of a motel for 4 months and when my family finally got access to our home again, I ended up losing my glasses in the giddy rush of having my own room again. I told my girlfriend about me not having these glasses anymore, and (to my memory) nothing was made much of it.

Now, cue to the current day (rather a few weeks ago), I've moved in with my girlfriend, and we've been living together for about half a year now. We're laying in bed, her drunk and me just sleepy, and she asks me, "How have your eyes been without your glasses?" I thought it was funny to think about my times in glasses, so I basically told her "oh I've been fine! I mostly just wore them for looks and didn't really need them :)"

That seemed to take her aback and after a bit of a pause she starts to say that me wearing glasses without needing them was an act of dishonesty, and ended up drunkenly rambling about my lying about my emotions (I do the whole "I'm fine" when I'm upset a lot because I'm very apprehensive to talk about my feelings) and connected the glasses thing to that. I, sober, told her openly that I didn't realize the glasses thing would be a big deal, and that I was sorry that it upset her. After that she kinda just fell asleep, so I just figured that if it bothered me still, I could talk about it in the morning.

So it did bother me, and I asked her if she remembered "the glasses conversation" from the previous night and she said she didn't. I felt a bit relieved, and I talked about what she said as if it was something we could just laugh off together, but that wasn't the case. She told me about how she always connected me with my glasses, before we met IRL she knew me as wearing glasses, she drew me with them, and how me just saying i didn't need them gave her the impression that it was all a lie, and it made her upset on that part. I was surprised that this was an issue, and told her the same as what I told her last night, and that I would've told her they weren't necessary I'd she ever asked me back then. She just shrugged it off and told me not to worry too much about it, that she still loves me, that sort of thing and we dropped it.

I feel guilty though, but also confused. I can see I might be the asshole, but I'm confused as to why this means so much to her. I can also understand if this is just a her thing, she's dealt with a badly cheating partner before me and I can see if this might just be a nervous thing for her.

TL;DR - I wore glasses when I met my gf while not really needing them that badly, and lost them before I met her IRL and moved in with her. GF feels like me not being clear that glasses were unnecessary was me lying about myself

What are these acronyms?

[axailslink]

Hi I was wondering if you could do drunk reader x Shuri

So Reader is drunk and ends up at the palace then Shuri takes her in to take care of her or HBCU Shuri takes reader when she finds her drunk at her dorm room

Also have a good day or night

Until I stopped feeling like you were mad at me

Shuri Udaku x poc FEM reader

A/n: first of all these are both lovely ideas and I will have a lovely day as long as you do the same in return.

Summary: A friend drops you off with your girlfriend after you go drinking all night because you think she's upset with you.

Your dorm mate knocks on Shuri's dorm room causing her to open the door and see you sprawled about on the floor "how much did she drink?" Her roommate laughs "I have no idea I stopped counting after two beers then she started downing shots and she was also carrying a red cup the whole night so I'm guessing a lot...I brought her home cause some dudes were trying to get lucky" Shuri waves her off "alright I've got her" she carefully picks you up bringing you into her dorm room "hey Shurrrrri I missed you" she sits you on her bed and runs back to lock the door. She starts a bath for you and you turn over and roll off the bed hitting your head "I think that should hurt more" you wince and Shuri comes back to stare at you "what is wrong with you? I get it you were upset with me but getting drunk on campus? Could you not have been more of a fucking idiot?" You look her up and down "youuuuuu were mad at me! I did nothing" you cross your arms still laying on the floor she sighs and picks you up again this time taking you to the bathroom she sits you on the toilet as she starts to take off your heels "baby I'm going to undress you okay?" You sigh and roll your eyes as you hold on to the toilet to keep your balance. She kisses your knees "I'm not mad at you I never was you just overthink I was busy never mad" you still ignore her until you feel her hands slide under your dress "I am under the influence! You tryna get me naked?" She slaps her face "girl take the damn underwear off I'm going to put you in the tub" you laugh "I know I like scaring you" she just straight faces you "good to know undress yourself and get in the tub" she gets up and grabs a bowl "what's that for?" She gags before she says it as if thinking it was enough to cause it to happen "for when you puke your guts I kind of like my carpet" you nod as you shimmy your way out of your underwear you reach for your dress zipper but you're having no luck "babbbbby" you grab into her waist and look up at her smiling "unzip me?" She frowns "you smell like alcohol how much did you drink?" You shrug "until I stopped feeling like you were mad at me" she sighs as she reaches her hand back and unzips you carefully helping you get out of the skin tight dress. "Get in the tub I'm going to grab you a tooth brush" you nod as you carefully stand up holding onto the wall for support while she grabs your toothbrush that you usually leave over and some tooth paste. You slam into the wall causing her to immediately turn around and grab you "okay watch where you're going" she helps you into the tub and gently splashes you with hot water first your upper body and shoulders then your face. Shuri finds herself leaving again to grab a glass of water she sits beside you on the edge of the tub and gently lifts the glass to your mouth "drink this" you look at the water with disgust "uhm I don't really want to" she glares at you "drink the damn water or I will drown you with it" you look at her then the water "you wouldn't do th-" she grabs your mouth harshly forcing your mouth open "being intoxicated must have you forgetting who your girlfriend is" she pours the water in your mouth causing you to cough but at least you drank it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You slap her arm and sit back in the tub "almost killed me" Shuri holds back the unnecessary dirty comment that is itching her throat usually you enjoy when I'm rough with you. She helps you wash up and slowly but surely sobers you up a bit you've thrown up twice now and each time she held your hand but looked the other direction. "I don't want to wear this" she looks at the oversized shirt on the counter "then go to sleep naked just bring your dumbass to bed" you brush your teeth and join her in bed "thank you" "for?" You smile up at her "caring about me" you feel soft peck on your forehead "don't do this again Y/n we can talk to each other. You know that. Also you shouldn't go out drinking all night especially when you have exams next week."

You groan "no damnit" she laughs and hugs you as you just shake your head. "That was stupid"

A/n: very unedited 😅 so be nice just tryna catch up on requests.

[rainytomorrows]

Bayverse!TMNT x reader | boyfriend headcanons ♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡

Leonardo -SHOW OFF. Raphael will be straight up about it, but Leo will entirely deny how much of a diva he is -Like doing completely unnecessary flips if you're watching -Is either really good or really bad at comforting you -Had a bad day? Hopefully, you really like meditation -"Some jackass threw their food at me at work today" he has a cup of tea and guided meditation ready -Sure he'll listen if you don't want to but he's. Very insistent -Absolute loser -You can't ever change my mind -The type to act all high and mighty because he knows how strong he is, but he also knows he's just some dude, ykwim? -As in he's a total nerd -Don't buy him merch of the shows he likes unless you want to watch him try and fail to bite back tears -You have to figure out his interests on your own because he won't tell you. Invite him to watch it with you, and he'll 'reluctantly' agree. Crossing his arms and looking serious but you can see the look in his eyes -Acts of service. He likes to show how useful he is -Opens doors, and pulls your chair out for you. Sure the rest of them do too, but he does it to such an extent. You barely do anything yourself in the lair if he's not busy -You could ask him to be a personal ladder honestly. Strokes his ego to think of how tall he is -Lowkey think he's listened to car seat headrest at least once -Not just trying to relate to him. He HAS to have had an emo phase -He got caught listening to sober to death and was meditating a full couple of hours after the fact. He was so embarrassed -A little possessive. Slightly -He wants people to know you're taken -The others enjoy that thought, sure. But Leo hates to admit he gets more worked up over it -Subtly gifts you things to wear so you can say "my boyfriend gave it to me"

Raphael -Definitely an asshole. /Positive -He knows exactly how to push your buttons and he WILL -Most of the time though he knows when to stop -Emphasis on 'most of the time'. Sometimes he goes too far and has to make up for it -You can tell when he's planning to tease you all-day -You enter the lair and there's an immediate shit-eating grin on his face. You know immediately he's going to be insufferable -You can't reallyyyy complain though, can you? -Pretty confident, but only once he's actually dating you -Before you ask him out he's real insecure about being a mutant -Still is after, but wayyyy less. Suddenly more confident in how tall and strong he is -And funny -Why would he be intimidated if you want to go out in whatever clothes you want? He can watch from afar if he needs -You wouldn't cheat on him, he knows that -Who can compete? Exactly -Honestly I see him listening to Arctic Monkeys and Tyler the Creator. Don't know what it is. -Has probably thought about kissing you to Knee Socks -Don't tell him he has tiktok music taste he'll start seething -He's the type to coincidentally grow up on the music that's going viral and he can't defend himself -Might excuse himself to the punching bag -Being a mutant mostly frustrates the part of him that wants to show you off to everyone -If he could he'd humiliate any guy that doesn't listen when you turn down their advances -Def the type to see it happening and just. Stand behind you. His stature says enough for him. -Guard dog-esque -Walking right beside you, sometimes right behind you if needed -Whatever makes you both feel as if you're safest -If he could be in public, would absolutely walk with you on the inside of the sidewalk at all times -Kisses you wherever he can reach randomly (forehead, hand, shoulder, hips, whatever is closest)

Donatello -So observant. I'll die on this hill -Sometimes he's dumb but that's not his fault -One of your jokes might fly right over his head every once in a while but he knows exactly how many degrees you like your drink to be -If you have sensory issues you swear he has a superpower for solving it -Won't even know why you're frustrated yet until he casually does something like turn the lights down or hand you headphones -Possibly the corniest. Corny ass nicknames and everything -Fully supports any outfit you wear. He very much values your sense in fashion, whether that means your outfit is showy or very alternative -I think he'd fit very well with an alt partner who likes to be in charge half the time -Puts in a lot of effort. While it can be attributed to him wanting to prove he's worth it, he also just really likes how happy you get -Feels bad about how often he works, and will let you sit with him in the garage while he does so. You get to choose the music -Will drive you anywhere in the truck. Tinted the windows and everything to be sure -You spent too long at the lair and need to get to work? He's already dragging you over by the hand -He had to admit he added safety precautions to your phone the one time he found out you were drunk without a ride at a party. "You put a mic in my phone?" "Only for certain keywords!" -Under any other circumstances you'd have dumped him but. You figured being raised as a mutant ninja had effects on his development and sense of privacy. He was probably one of the only guys you'd believe when he said it was for your safety -Had to have a talk about boundaries but you kept most of the stuff he added to your phone -Will advocate that you learn how but if an appointment needs to be made and you can't figure it out or otherwise, he'll have it made. He'll watch you struggle for maybe a minute or so before he gives in and gently takes the phone

Michaelangelo -I think he knows exactly how to be serious when it's needed -Do nawt be tricked by how flirtatious he is and how often he jokes around -He knows exactly when you are upset. He will show up with something -You never know what to expect. His gifts really could be anything -Sometimes it's food, sometimes it's homemade crafts, once he got you a pack of paper towels and new socks. You weren't at all sure how he knew you were running out. -Sometimes tries to act really stupid if you're annoyed. Still thinking about some stupid customer a couple days ago? Mikey's been mewing for like 20 minutes and hopes it's distracting you -Also fully supports your fashion, but if he can he'll match somehow. Even if it's just one necklace/bracelet -You can in fact give him any jewelry he'll wear it. Or try to. -You might need to reassure him once or twice a blue moon -He keeps everything you give him. EVERYTHING -Shelf dedicated to every rock and trinket you gave to him -You were surprised at how much he likes baking and cooking. Though, with how much he likes food you shouldn't have been surprised at all -Makes your favorite food if you're over for dinner, or any meal -Sometimes shows up with Tupperware -He's meal prepped your lunch for the week -You called him a male wife once and he liked it a lot more than you expected. -Loves white girl music. Gwen Stefani any day of the week. Mikey is probably the best choice in the world for karaoke -Invite him please he will go HAM on any song you chose -Even if he doesn't know it. Just give him the lyrics -Leaves his weights out for you to find -Likes kissing your forehead and your hand a lot specifically

♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡ I hope you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing this. Please I beg the lord for a big guy who's kind of in charge but also will listen to me anytime. I beg. Anyhow, have a good night/day, and a great life!

[suckerforthisshit]

My comments on the "There's nothing I hate more but something I can't have" from @neallo.

I read the whole story only yesterday and I am not only impressed but also shocked. This is probably the best fic I've ever read in my life. I felt the need to get in touch as someone who is interested in writing I story telling.

I plan to engage in writing, learn how to express myself properly and describe the event as precisely as possible, so that I capture the essence, do not repeat words and portray the characters realistically. So that when I read the story later, I want to insert myself into it in a such way that I have the feeling that it is actually happening. That's exactly what Neallo succeeded in doing.

Here are some comments on the writing:

1) Each of the characters has its own character that is upgraded on the simpler basis of what we have in manga and anime

2) The scenes are described extremely precisely with a lot of details and without unnecessary embellishments.

3) The realism of absolutely everything, from the reactions and behavior of the characters to the entire course of events. Without any dull fantastic moments.

4) Perfectly depicted behavior and thinking of young people with extraordinary intelligence, living in the modern age

5) Sex scenes are described without any exaggeration, without sugarcoating, just the way sex really looks like in real life

6) Thoughts of characters are very human-like

8) Characters in different states, sober and drunk, perfectly described

9) Gracefully introduced internal struggles and conflicts of the main character (Mello) without exaggeration, exactly the way people think and face their own problems

10) Mat's character was lit in all scenes

I have to say that I see these things differently, of course, as we all actually do have our own personal head cannons. And surprisingly neallo's Mello is much alike my post kira 20 years old, fucked up Near. That's that puking out when you have to deal with emotions, that lustful needs, that analytical thinking, that pissy/bossy attitude. Only difference is that my Near usually hides his inner thoughts with his perfectly strict, cold and cool facade. And actually no one knows how extremely horny and pissed off he actually is. Which is different in your Mello, who is open about it. On other hand my Mello is much more feeling like. He wouldn't rationalize his emotions like never, he too can't face them and will probably storm out. He would live in denial to that point it would be a pure delusional madness. He wouldn't face it at all, with my Mello and Near, near isn't enough emotionally strong to state out his feelings (like. Never), and Mello would have to hunt him down which would drastically complicate the situation given that Mello on his own doesn't know what he feels about Near and mentally can't take the fact that he likes him. And for Matt, the psychoanalyst is a literal canon to me and even more, as it's actually great deal of his personality, but again, unlike your characters, more emotional, bit less rational. He would however work far better if to Mello it could actually be said, like, what actually is.. but like, my Matt has to specially pack things for Mello on way he wouldn't freak out.

Haha, anyways, I appreciate seeing the different versions of my three favorite characters that are dancing on my mind for like five years. I will do an art of these two, but I'll show them bit different then I usually draw my Mello and Near. (I already have a perfect picture in my damn head how they look like, exactly Mello)

Overall, this peace of art was MIND-BLOWING and I hope more people will read it.

[a-bit-too-silly]

Haymitch and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Content warning for implied alcoholism/talk of drinking and withdrawal symptoms

Note: this is not meant to be Haymitch/Katniss! I just like little Katniss and cg Haymitch, but wanted to write from Haymitch's perspective :]

Also my first time writing for this fandom/characters so.. I hope it's alright.

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

He didn't need to hear Effie's lecture on the manners he was sorely lacking, nor did he need her nitpicking his choice of clothing or whatever else was wrong with him. Not today.

Saying he 'woke up on the wrong side of the bed' was an understatement. His head feels like he's gotten far too acquainted with a brick and his stomach feels like he's been knocking back a few too many of those 'special' drinks that the Capitol offers at their feasts. Those little vials will always be confusing, maybe it's because he wasn't raised that way. There's no sense to it. Regardless, a sucker punch would probably feel better.

Katniss was snippy during one of the interviews and he might've snapped at her after. It's for her own good, she can't be rocking the boat right now. Not when everyone is breathing down their necks, hungry for a snippet of drama, unaware of the uprisings said 'drama' may prompt. He'd really tried not to yell. Just the thought of more unnecessary sound made his head ache. But he had, a little, and that earned him a harsh glare from Peeta. Normally he wouldn't care, but on top of everything it was starting to break him apart at the seams.

Peeta was miffed and Katniss was certainly angry as well. Effie was already getting that tic in her eye, the pressure rising up like she's some kind of kettle. He can practically see the steam. However, he wasn't about to let her blow off on him. Instead he stormed off to his quarters on the train to nurse his headache and try to keep what little remained in his stomach down.

He's been working hard to get sober, really, he has. Headaches and tremors and nausea and the anxiety that never seems to stop. It's like his senses are cranked up to eleven, the lights are too bright even when dimmed, the train car is too loud, his clothes are touching him all wrong... everything is wrong. Everything is driving him back to his vices. He's seen the bottles in the cupboards. No one would notice if one was missing, would they? They're probably all asleep anyway. If he could just-

For better or for worse, his thoughts are interrupted by a quiet knocking at the door.

"I'm not hungry." He calls back, rolling over on his bed so his back faces the door.

At first there's no response, then he hears the door creak open quietly, the faint light from the hall peeking in alongside whoever has decided to disturb him.

"For Panem's sake-" he grumbled as he pushed himself up against the headboard to a reclined position. "What do you want?!"

Immediately he regrets his harsh tone. He assumed it was Effie or an Avox or someone, but no, it was Katniss. Not the usual Katniss Everdeen, not the victor of district twelve, not the star-crossed lover of Peeta, not the girl on fire.. this was a side of Katniss very few were partial to see. Peeta, of course. Probably Cinna and Effie too, considering how closely and constantly they're buzzing around. At first they tried to hide her from Haymitch, but the girl has never been one to listen to anyone. She does her own thing. But that brings the question, why is she here? Now?

Katniss stands there, peeking into the room at Haymitch with those big grey eyes. She's like a lamb. Shy and skittish and sweet, but still an energetic troublemaker when she wants to be. Thankfully for Haymitch's sanity, she seems to be the former right now. Granted, he probably scared her by raising his voice moments before.

"Haymitch angry?" She asks meekly, not daring to open the door more than she already has. Already prepared for a quick escape.

That question makes him pause, taking in a deep breath and resting his head in his hands for a moment. No. He's not angry, not at her at least.

"No. Haymitch is not angry, sweetheart." He says calmly, trying to quell the guilt of snapping at her. "Haymitch is just having a bad day."

She pushes the door open a bit more, slipping inside like a lamb through a gate, then she closes it behind her. The room returns to darkness, spare for the faint light from the windows and the glow of a few candles Haymitch lit earlier to try and freshen the stuffy air of the train.

"Help?" Katniss asked as she toddled her way over to his bed. Haymitch raised his head from his hands and gave a small nod. Katniss clambers up onto the bed beside him, butting her head up under his arms and comfortably nestling herself against his chest.

It's basically a practiced motion at this point, Katniss loves being cuddled as close as she can get. And Haymitch enjoys it as well, having his baby so close. Her weight in his lap and against him helps draw his attention away from the ache in his muscles.

And there they sat on Haymitch's bed. His hand gently running through her hair, her hands bunched up in his shirt. The sounds of the train slowly drown out as Haymitch starts to drift off, slumping against Katniss in his grogginess.

Soon after he started to slump, Katniss broke the silence.

"Sleep." She mumbled, reaching up to gently pat Haymitch's face, something he does to her when she's refusing to close her eyes. It does make his head hurt a bit more, but it's too endearing for him to complain. Haymitch slumps against her some more, purposefully mushing her just a bit. That earns him a playful shove from the little one. "Haymitch *sleep*."

"Yeah.. yeah.. I got it, kid.." he groans, lifting her slightly so he can lie down. She pouts, just a little, and curls back into him.

Despite the chaos going on around them, the bottles in the cupboard still tempting him to break, the whispers of uprising crackling with sparks.. despite it all, here is quiet.

He can make it to tomorrow. With his baby safe in his arms.

[lakemichigans]

friend anon again, I think you were joking when you said ask me how I know about the addiction topic, but I would really be curious to know more of your thoughts on that (sorry if that's too invasive, you don't have to answer this at all, but I am curious!)

oof yeah i feel like i've overshared and made people uncomfortable, but if you're asking then i'm fine talking about it!! airing out my dirty laundry... 🧦

basically i just have a family history of addiction that goes back many generations on both sides of my family. myself, my parents, both sets of grandparents, and even my great grandparents have been affected by alcoholism and/or substance abuse at some point in our lives. some of them went totally sober, some passed away, some are still struggling right now and have been for many years. there's such a wide range of people in my family. yeah some fit the stereotype of the "typical alcoholic" and you could probably guess by just looking at them that they have substance use issues. but others are so young and put together, you would never know. 3 of them started their addiction with prescription pain meds because we have a lot of chronic pain in our family (i got all the good genetics huh lol), and the rest of us pretty much exclusively have a problem with alcohol. that's why it makes me so angry to see people imply that alcoholism is a lesser addiction when it has completely decimated my family 😒 the cherry on top is that my best friend since childhood has really similar problems and even though we try to support each other and keep ourselves in check, we both have ended up circling the drain like everyone else we know. so that's great

ironically my grandparents were casual meth users who stopped using meth quite easily, but could never quit drinking or smoking cigarettes no matter how many times they tried, and it was lung cancer that actually killed my grandma. i feel like that's a common misconception among people who don't know much about addiction; you would assume that a highly addictive drug like meth would permanently change your life, but every person is different and one substance may be a harmless treat every few months while another "lesser" substance will completely and utterly ruin your life. it's like how some people can do a few lines of coke at a party and look back on it as a fun college memory, but other people will have their world completely rocked by it. you just never know

i NEVER thought i would have a problem with alcohol. literally never. i was so hyper-aware of the damage it can cause and i took so many precautions. i never drank when i was in a bad mood, i never drank alone, i never drank in the day or super late at night, i never got so drunk i lost my memory, i never drank in unfamiliar places, i never drank to get through a menial task, etc. and i cant even pinpoint when or why that all changed. it all just got so fucked up. i don't like how i act when i'm drunk and i feel so embarrassed when i wake up and remember (or find out) what i said to people, so i prefer drinking alone but that's a whole other problem. i've nearly gotten into fights at bars with grown ass men, i've wandered around downtown and have no memory of getting home, i fell off a fucking rock ledge while hiking at sunset and yeah i can laugh about it but it's also like. i nearly killed myself and for what? because i was drunk and trying to take a good picture. i drink to make chores more bearable. i used to do my college homework tipsy. video games aren't fun sober anymore. i make unnecessary purchases while i'm drunk and that's on top of the financial burden that drinking already provides me. i'll take a hit of anything i'm offered while i'm drunk, and thank god so far that has only been weed or cigarettes, but drunk brandi would not even ask what it is. i genuinely can't bear the thought of talking about my feelings with people if i'm not drinking (even then, i don't say what i really want to say because my mind isn't clear enough to string a thought together). like every fucking aspect of my life has been tainted by alcohol and it happened so slowly that i never even saw it coming. and if it can happen to me, someone who was PREPARED, it can happen to anyone

i'm not trying to scare people, i just wish people understood how slow and insidious addiction can be. maybe then they'd have a little more compassion

but yeah, that's where i'm at right now 🥲 it helps to write about it and vent because i just don't do that in real life. and maybe this rambly mess can help someone else or at least put things in perspective

[kellanved-ammanas]

The Gunslinger

Summary: Engie's finished making his fancy new mechanical hand. Now all he's gotta do is get ready to attach it to himself.

Upon seeing more stuff reminding me of the fanon idea that Engie cut his own hand off in order to equip the gunslinger I was filled with a sudden mighty need to write that happening. Strong enough that I wrote during my end of the year break from creating stuff. I didn't have a mighty need to edit it though which is why it's going up now. Also, Spy got added in as bonus at the end just for fun because I ship it and because someone needed to at least lightly scold Engie for this.

Probably unnecessary given teh summary and author's note but CONTENT WARNING for self-inflicted dismemberment and breaking bones.

~

Perhaps waiting for Medic to return to base before doing this in case things went bad would be wise. Assuming Medic wouldn’t stop him anyway, which was possible because Medic was far from a normal medical practitioner, but uncertain and thus Engie would rather do it by himself. Besides, if things ended up going too, too badly, he’d turned Respawn on so it’d be fine regardless. Though, likely, that would mean having to redo the whole thing which wouldn’t be fun. He was fairly confident he knew what he was doing well enough that that safety measure wouldn’t have to come into play though so onward he would forge.

His work bench, raised to a comfortable height, already had everything he would need laid out on it. He double checked it anyway though before making sure his workshop’s door was locked as well – the last thing he needed or wanted was someone coming in on him in the middle of this. Upon returning to the table, he was tempted to triple or even quadruple check everything but… that would just be delaying and the sooner he got this part done with, the better.

He wasn’t quite as drunk as he’d hoped to be, just barely a step beyond tipsy really, but he also didn’t want to risk becoming too drunk to do things properly. So before he could sober up any more than he already unfortunately was, he grabbed the leather belt from off the table and wrapped it around his arm, just below his elbow, making sure it was as tight as he could physically make it. Immediately uncomfortable but not painful, perhaps due to the alcohol.

After waiting for a few minutes for the tingling numbness to set into his hand in hopes of that acting as additional pain relief, he leaned over the table and laid his arm down on it. Next, with his free hand, he picked up the saw. He’d have used Medic’s bone saw but alas Medic had brought it with him when leaving base. It was the strongest and sharpest saw he could find though so hopefully it would do. Holding it tight, he placed it against his flesh, a few inches off from his wrist and…

No, he needed something to bite. No amount of inebriation short of being full anesthetized – an impossibility for obvious reasons given his desire to do this by himself – would make this a pain free operation. The slight tremor of his hand caused the saw to clatter against the metal workbench as he placed it back down. A thin cut where the saw blade had touched his flesh oozed a couple drops of blood. Between the alcohol and the numbness, he couldn’t feel it at all, a good sign, hopefully.

Turning away, he scanned his workshop for something suitable. … Ah, a rag. Not the cleanest thing in the world but it had been washed recently and with half the team away on contract missions they hadn’t been in active battle lately so it wasn’t actively covered in machine grease either. He grabbed it, stuffed it in his mouth – it tasted exactly how one would expect it to – and set up again.

This time he didn’t let himself hesitate for even a moment before pressing the saw into his forearm. Naturally it cut through his flesh without issue. Painful but nothing he couldn’t handle. The bone however, that hurt a lot more. He almost stopped but… if he did there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to finish and that just wouldn’t do. So, biting down on the rag, he continued sawing, his movements sharp and forceful.

Forcing himself to focus on the sawing motion instead of the searing pain in his right arm, he counted the motions. One… two… one… two… like sawing through a plank of wood. … A particularly tough plank of wood that oozed blood and set his arm screaming for him to stop and yank away from the saw.

His vision blurred as his eyes watered. He couldn’t blink it away fast enough. He was going to throw up or scream or both.

He stopped. The saw clattered loudly as he dropped it on the table. He spat out the rag allowing him to pant for breath as he sunk down to sit on the floor before his quivering knees gave out beneath him. Forcing himself to breath deep and steady he held his arm out and away until he felt a bit steadier, a bit less like he was going go vomit, before looking at it.

The belt was doing its job as a tourniquet fairly well; there was plenty of blood oozing from the injury and running down his arm to drip off his fingers to the floor but not enough for to be an immediate cause for worry. It also allowed him to see how deep he’d managed to saw which… wasn’t very. Turns out bone was a lot harder to saw through than he’d anticipated. In his defense he’d never had to saw through bone before.

Groaning, he looked up at the ceiling. How the fuck was he going to do this? His pain tolerance was high, especially after dying and going through Respawn as many times as he had, but there were limits to what he could stand and even more so, limits to what he could inflict on himself. There was just no way he could keep it up for long enough to get all the way through the bone.

He could build a machine to do it for him. Then all he’d have to do was strap himself to it. It’d be a simple build but… would take time to make, at least a day or two. And having already started, the pain in his arm would make it take even longer. What other choice did he have though? …

Well, the main problem was how hard it was to saw through the bone, right? If he broke it at the right spot, that wouldn’t be a problem anymore now would it?

With a groan, he forced himself to his feet. The longer he thought about this, the harder it would be to get himself to do it. First though, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey he’d been drinking out of earlier and took another long drink from it. Cheap and strong, it burned like a bitch and tasted awful but was a welcome distraction. Tempting as it was to down the whole thing and thus likely drown his consciousness as well, he forced himself to put it down when there was still a fourth of the bottle left. He’d finish it after this operation was complete.

Head swimming either from alcohol, pain and blood loss or both, he stumbled around to the other side of his work bench. Lucky for him, the new vise he’d just got in a couple weeks ago was big enough to slot his arm into. He lined it up so that the cut he’d already made was just outside the vise’s metal mouth, his hand and wrist on the other side.

He grasped the crank and started turning it. The vise closed on his wrist and forearm. First just secure, then tight, then painful, then very painful. Gritting his teeth, he kept turning and turning until… snap. Somehow he heard it a split second before he felt it. He barely held back a scream, biting down on his lip instead hard enough to draw blood. The coppery taste of it flooding his mouth brought him back to himself enough to started rapidly turning the crank the other way.

As soon as he could, he took his arm out. Every little movement sent jagged spikes of pain through his entire arm that no amount of numbness or alcohol could do much to relieve. Despite that, his instinct was to clutch it close, protect it from further arm. Fighting that instinct with deep breaths, he laid out his arm on the table again instead. Thinking being unwise right now, he grabbed the saw and started sawing again.

Much easier physically but harder psychologically. He hadn’t gotten to where he was today through being mentally weak though so he pressed on. Sawing and sawing and sawing until… the blade’s teeth hit the blood covered metal table underneath, scrapping horrible against it.

Dropping it, uncaring as it clattered against the table, he stepped back, leaving his hand behind on the table. He lifted his arm to look at his new stump. It was not as clean an amputation as he’d have liked, it wasn’t straight and the bone break was jagged and uneven but he could make do with this.

But, even if thanks to the makeshift tourniquet, it did not gush as much blood as a severed limb usually would, it was still quite a lot. Enough to be worried about. He needed to bandage it sooner rather than later.

He only took one step towards heading around to the other side of the workbench where he’d left the medical supplies before his legs gave out though. As much as the whiskey had burned going down, it burned even more as it came back up. Even as darkness ate at the edges of his vision, he did his best to keep it off himself. Perhaps alcohol had been a poor choice of pain relief and prevention, especially since it hadn’t seemed to do a whole lot towards that effort. … Something to think about for next time. Because if he couldn’t stop this bleeding in time, he’d die and Respawn, likely with his hand back. Ugh! He’d been so close! But he didn’t have the strength fight the pull of unconsciousness eating at his mind and it hurt too much for him to really want to either.

~

The pounding of his head, once set in, made it impossible to just roll over and go back to sleep. He tried to anyway, earning a sharp stab of pain in his right arm that had him jerking the rest of the way awake.

He opened his eyes and lifted his hand to look at it. It was gone. Replacing it was a bloodstained bandage. … It had worked! His hand was gone and he hadn’t died in the process of removing it. Now all he had to do was wait for it to heal a little bit and attach his new mechanical hand. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long before...

“You’re awake.”

Engie flinched, snapping his head to the side to see Spy standing up from a chair by the unlit fireplace on the other side of the room. Spy’s room actually. Which explained why the bed Engie lay on was so soft and luxurious. In hindsight not too surprising given the bandage and the fact that he’d survived when the last thing he remembered was passing out in a puddle of his own vomit. Still not an ideal situation to be in though.

The pounding in his head pulsed in time with the throbbing in his arm as he carefully sat up to lean back against the headboard. He’d have like to stand but… didn’t quite dare yet. “Aren’t you supposed to be off on a mission?”

Spy had strode over to stand by the bedside as he’d struggled to sit up and now looked down at him, his expression unreadable under the mask. “I got back earlier today.”

“And broke into my workshop,” Engie interrupted before he could say anything more. He wasn’t exactly mad about it, especially given the circumstances, but he wasn’t particularly pleased that that was apparently one of the first things Spy had done upon returning to base.

“Yes. I knocked but you did not answer and well, as that is unlike you, I grew worried and decided to invite myself in. Good thing I did too else I’m sure you would’ve bled to death. Now would you like to explain why exactly you cut your hand off?” Spy’s tone had remained neutral right up until that last sentence at which point he sounded almost a little angry. Which was perhaps fair given how it must look.

Engie shifted to sit up a bit straighter. “I’m replacing it. I built myself a new hand that should make it easier to work on my machines.” He wouldn’t have to carry around a wrench everywhere he went anymore.

“What if I hadn’t come along and you had died in this attempt?”

“I turned Respawn on.”

“It’s not supposed to be on so what if Miss Pauling had caught that it was on and turned it back off?”

Engie hadn’t thought of that but the chances were low, Miss Pauling was too busy for that. “Are you accusing me of being secretly suicidal or something?”

“Non. If you were, you’d go about it differently. I am however accusing you of being careless of your health and safety.”

“We all are. Killing folk ain’t exactly the safest of professions even with the fancy-smancy Respawn room bringing us back when we die.”

“Yes, but… this is extreme. Are you okay, Laborer?”

The seemingly genuine concern in Spy’s voice was surprising to say the least. Engie had suspected for a while now that Spy cared more about everyone on the team than he like to pretend but he hadn’t expected it to be this much. Given that, he couldn’t in good conscious follow his initial instinct to lie and say he was fine. After all, even he had to admit that cutting off one’s own hand with a saw blade wasn’t something someone who was truly fine would do. So instead he shrugged, letting himself sag against the headboard. “Could use some water and painkillers, preferably strong ones.”

Spy didn’t seemed satisfied, hanging around for a beat or two longer before turning to go over to the other side of the room. What he did over there, Engie couldn’t see and didn’t care enough to figure out. But he returned a short time later it was with a glass of water and a mysterious pill.

Instinctively, Engie reached for it first with his right hand before remembering it was no longer there. Instead, he took first the pill, not caring what it was, dry swallowing it before taking the water. After chugging the whole glass, he maybe even felt a little better. “More?” he asked as he handed the now empty glass back.

Spy sighed as he accepted it and left. This time when he returned it was with a whole pitcher of water which he left on the bedside table as he handed the refilled glass back to Engie.

“Thanks.”

“We’re not done talking about how bad an idea cutting your own hand off is.”

“I know. Later though?”

“Yes, fine, later. It’s probably about time to change the bandages anyway.”

“Thanks for that too… you know, helping out and stuff, ‘preciate it.” Even if getting caught at this was not ideal, it was still better than going through Respawn and thus having to restart – or possibly dying if someone had turned it back off. And having someone to help with the bandages and whatnot was a bigger boon than he ever would’ve hoped for.

“Don’t mention it. And I mean that literally, don’t tell anyone about this.” Ah, good ol’ Spy, continuing to not want anyone to know how much he cared. Well Engie now knew for sure and he was going to treasure that knowledge.

“You got it. This whole thing will be our little secret.” No one else needed to know about it until he had the hand properly attached. That way no one else would have cause for any real concern and would perhaps even assume he’d lost the hand in an accident.

[clotpolesonly]

Let Your Heart Be Light

for @sapphireginger and the Stiles Shipping Central monthly ficlet exchange!! apparently all of my Stallison fics are just going to be unrelentingly sappy and there’s nothing i can do to stop it, hope you don’t mind XD

| Stallison | Gen | 1.5k | Established Relationship | Polish Stiles | Christmas | Fluff | Family Feels |

(also on AO3)

.

It was snowing like crazy, but Allison hesitated on the stoop of Dobroniega Gajos’s home. Stiles turned back to frown at her; she had told him over and over again that she was built for warmer climates and would spend no unnecessary time in the open air if she could help it. Her nose and cheeks were bright pink, where her scarf wasn’t pulled up to cover them and the silly earflaps of her hat didn’t reach low enough, but still, she hesitated.

“You okay, alley-cat?” Stiles asked.

She dragged her eyes away from the door. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just…”

Stiles took her mittened hand in his. “She won’t bite, I promise. She’s had me talking her ear off about you for the last month and she can’t wait to meet you.”

“No pressure.”

“She will love you.” He brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss it, getting yarn fuzz in his mouth and not even caring. “Almost as much as I do.”

Allison’s concerned moue melted into a soft smile and she let him push the door open. Warmth billowed out to meet them, carrying with it the smell of cloves and beetroot. The small house was filled with people, only a handful of whom Stiles was actually familiar with. It had been years since he’d last visited his grandmother instead of her coming to the States. These were his cousins, he thought, or second-cousins. There was an aunt or two here somewhere and some niblings once- or twice-removed. They were all related somehow.

They all seemed to know him better than he knew them, at least, because everyone in sight swarmed in to greet him and hug him and kiss him on both cheeks. He let them, laughing and pretending he remembered any of their names, and it brought back a rush of memories. They used to come every year for Christmas back when he was a kid, when his mom was still alive. Those visits were a blur of coziness and cheer and the overwhelming feeling of family.

It took some doing to make it back to Allison’s side. She was smiling at a pair of maybe-cousins, letting them chat her ear off even though she probably could only understand every other word through their strong accents, but Stiles knew her well enough to see that it wasn’t an easy smile. She brightened up a bit when he wrapped his arm around her waist, and brightened even more when he proved more successful at understanding and participating in the conversation.

Stiles only had a minute to wonder what was wrong before a booming voice called out, “Tygrysek! Mój skarb!”

Stiles grimaced but turned to accept an all-encompassing hug from his grandmother. “Babciu, that name is so embarrassing.”

“Which one?” Allison asked, mouth quirking up already. “Embarrassing how?”

“Tygryseki,” Stiles grumbled. “It means—”

“Baby tiger,” his babcia finished, reaching up to pinch his cheeks with absolutely no remorse. “My ferocious little one, always sneaking, ready to pounce on someone unsuspecting.”

Allison covered her mouth with her hand, trying and failing to hide a snorting laugh. She sobered up when Babcia turned to her, but she didn’t have time to be nervous. Without hesitation, Babcia was hugging her too. Fiercely. For such a small woman—she barely came up to Stiles’ shoulder—Dobroniega Gajos was a force to be reckoned with.

She pulled back to hold Allison’s face in her hands. “Welcome to the family, moja droga.”

Allison looked a little dazed. “Happy to be here,” she said helplessly. She received a kiss on both cheeks before Babcia was off, making the rounds of all her guests like the matriarch that she was. Allison watched her go.

Stiles nudged her. “Are you?” he asked quietly. “Happy to be here? You look a little—”

“She’s really nice,” Allison cut in, another one of those tight smiles on her face but her hand tight on his arm.

“Allison.”

Her smile dimmed, but she didn’t say anything. Her eyes darted around the festive crowd, almost two dozen people all talking and laughing and making merry.

Stiles took her by the hand. He tugged her through the crowd until he found a guest bedroom—there was a suitcase open on the bed, but the room was empty currently, so he didn’t see the harm in borrowing it from its occupant for a minute or two—and she didn’t resist as he pulled her inside. She accepted a soft kiss.

“Now, what’s wrong?”

Allison looked like she might deny it one more time. Then, eyes glassy, she laughed.

“It’s so stupid,” she said. “Nothing’s wrong, I swear, it’s just— It’s really lovely here. Such a big happy family full of holiday cheer. It’s straight off a postcard, honestly.”

“But?”

“But…” She sniffed. “I don’t know, I guess it just hit me that I never had this. Anything like this, really. My family was just me and my parents, and sometimes…” She swallowed around the two names she never said anymore. Stiles let her. “And we were always moving around, lots of rental homes and stock furniture. And my mom wasn’t exactly the warm and cheery kind, you know?”

A stricken look passed over her face, just for a moment, and Stiles knew what she was thinking. That it was an insult to her mother’s memory to acknowledge the strictness of her, the utilitarian way she had operated, as if that made her less of a mother or meant that Allison had loved her less. He kissed the look off her face before she could get caught in that spiral.

“Loving the people you’re with doesn’t automatically make holidays great,” he said, thinking of the years after he’d lost his mom. Just him and his dad and a plastic table-top tree, store-bought turkey and football on the television. He’d loved his dad, but it hadn’t been fun, and it hadn’t been what he’d wanted.

Allison let out a shuddering sigh that she tried to turn into a laugh. “I guess I just watched too many Hallmark movies as a kid. Set my expectations way too high. I knew I was never going to have that big, loving family. I was always going to be disappointed.”

Stiles brushed Allison’s hair behind her ear. “But you do.”

She looked up at him, confusion on her face. “Do what?”

“You have that. The big, loving family,” he said. “Because you’re my family, and that means that mine is yours. Every single person in this house is your family now. Whether you want them or not, honestly, because my grandmother is not gonna let you walk out of here without some kind of homemade knitwear and a personalized cross-stitch. She asked me for your favorite colors weeks ago. I told her tangerine.”

A laugh burst out of Allison, startled and incredulous. It shook a tear loose. Stiles’ wiped it away. She grabbed his hand before he could take it away.

“I hate orange,” she said through a helpless smile.

“I know.”

“You’re the absolute worst. I hate you so much.”

Stiles stole another kiss, grinning against her lips. “I love you too, serduszko.”

Allison wrapped her arms around his waist. “What’s that one mean?”

“Old hag, but, like, fondly.”

“Shut up, it does not.”

“Would I lie to you?”

She buried her face in his chest, giggles overtaking her. Stiles was more than happy to let her laugh, pressing his nose into her sweet-smelling hair. His heart was so full he worried it might explode all over the lacy tchotchkes on the bedside table. He hoped whichever aunt was sleeping here wouldn’t mind him getting happiness goo all up in her open suitcase.

They were quiet for a minute, just settling into the embrace. Through the closed door, the chatter of a houseful of people washed over them. Somebody had decided to start caroling early. They weren’t very good at it, but they sounded like they were having a great time anyway. Allison’s thumb rubbed circles on Stiles’ side, shirt rucked up just a little so she could feel the warmth of his skin.

“Did your grandma really make me a cross-stitch?” she asked eventually, sounding small.

Stiles smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “She makes them for all her grandkids. Mine is, unsurprisingly, a tiger.”

He could practically feel Allison’s dimple against his shoulder. “What’s mine, do you know?”

“It’s a quiver full of flowers. And, no, I did not actually tell her to make it tangerine. It is in lovely shades of your actual favorite color, which is purple. You’re welcome.”

Allison pulled back to beam at him, all traces of sadness gone from her face. She was radiant in her happiness, exactly how Stiles liked her best. He kissed her until somebody knocked on the door to announce that they’d seen the first star and dinner was served.

Stiles took Allison’s hand once more. “Come on, then” he said. “Let’s go make you some new memories.”

.

the polish bits defined:

tygrysek = baby tiger mój skarb = my treasure, darling babcia = grandmother babciu = grandmother, affectionate address moja droga (to a female) = my dear serduszko = sweetheart

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

I'm electing to put a point into Endurance, which should hopefully stop us from dying all the time. In the future, I'll probably get you all to vote on which stat we level up, unless there's something pressing.

Not much has changed upstairs.

DOOR, ROOM #1 - This is the door to the room you *redecorated*.

"Good night, lieutenant."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Just a moment. You had some questions earlier, I believe, and we should talk about our progress on the investigation. Let's go out to the balcony."

"Alright, let's go."

KIM KITSURAGI - The air outside is brisk, the lieutenant is silent for a moment. He listens to the traffic hum, then...

"Where shall we begin? We should talk about the investigation first and foremost, but I also remember you wanting to discuss the RCM?" He lights a cigarette.

"I didn't know you smoked, Kim."

"How do you think today went?"

"So what are our powers exactly? The RCM?"

Say nothing. Just look into the night.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I have a cigarette every night when I go over my notes. It's something of a ritual."

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Oh man, he looks so devastatingly *cool* with that cigarette.

"I think I might want to pick up smoking. Do you have any more cigarettes?"

"How did you get so cool, Kim?"

"Right then -- the debrief." (Return to it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "I apologize, but I only brought one with me. I have exactly one cigarette every night while going over my notes."

2. "How did you get so cool, Kim?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "You mean this?" The light of his cigarette illuminates a fleeting smile. "This isn't cool -- it's an unnecessary trial of will. And unhealthy." He flicks the ash.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Keeping the habit within the parameters he's given himself takes a lot of focus. It would be easier to simply quit.

3. "Right then -- the debrief." (Return to it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes," he pulls on the cigarette. "It's been a long and eventful day. "

2. "How do you think today went?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Well, we inspected the victim's body. So that's good -- it was not easily *approachable* in that state, but we did it."

"Our inspection *could* have been more thorough -- as it always can -- but we have some leads we can follow up on."

"Then you shot him in the chest, which... wasn't ideal. And we still have to get him down from the tree."

"I just wanted to make sure he was really dead."

"I admit, I'm a little out of practice."

"I still can't believe I missed that shot!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Being sober also tends to help with precision. But, moving on to the interviews..."

"We weren't able to find the Union leader, Evrart Claire, much less interview him. So that's on the to-do list for tomorrow."

"We tried to interview the Wild Pines rep, but she asked us to do something for her first. Fine. So be it."

"I have a feeling Joyce knows how dangerous the situation really is. We *have* to get her to talk to us." He purses his lips.

"Above all, though… today was exhausting. What's with all the *running*? You run a lot. Is that a standard Precinct 41 practice?"