#it just feels like a reminder of the state of my life
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muwapsturniolo · 5 hours ago
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𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒕 ᥫ᭡. c sturniolo
“I just-she left…”
✗ Angst, mentions of sex but no actual smut, cliffhanger
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
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Love was a tricky thing - Bittersweet.
It could make you feel so whole and warm, like your life has meaning. On the other hand, it could break you down completely, as if you weren't worth anything.
This was something that scared Chris. He told everyone he had commitment issues, but they took it as he couldn't settle for one girl specifically, or he was scared of women. In reality, it was the idea of not knowing how your love with someone could end.
So when he dove head first into a relationship only for it to crumble right in his hands, he was distraught. It was so sudden, he thought everything was fine. He was happy, she was happy.
At least he thought she was.
"You're love is just too much Chris...I can't do this."
Her words hurt, they broke him.
He didn't understand how him showing how much he loved her was too much. Isn't that what girls want, for their partners to be open and loving?
After that night it was like she never existed, and it wasn't Chris's doing. The girl had deleted her socials, moved away from LA, and cut everyone off. He could only feel what was left of her, but he wasn't able to feel her.
He wished he knew where she went, what she was doing. He wished he knew how the hell she managed to make him fall in love with her, only to break him.
Did she ever love him?
He refused to be the type to marinate in his emotions, so he threw himself into his work. He forced Nick and Matt to film videos back to back, the brothers quickly becoming exhausted. He decided it was finally time to get his license and a car, hoping that if he betters himself she would come back to him.
But she didn't.
Everyone could see the change in him. He started going out more without his brothers, partying with Sam and Gnar. He'd come home with a different girl on his arm every night, and a bunch of money being spent from the joint account he shares.
That phase only lasted a month or so before Nick finally put his foot down, yelling at Chris and telling him to "Get the fuck over the breakup, she's not coming back."
"I know Nick I just....She left. She fucking left and said my love was too much! What does that mean? I-I did my best!"
He broke down, crying harder than he ever had in his brothers' arms.
"Why did she have to leave? Why won't she just come back?"
It seemed like after that, his whole personality and life did a 180. He grew quiet, no longer being the loud one. He was more snappy, staying in his room and locking himself away from the world.
When questioned about it, he told Matt and Nick that everything reminds him of her. The couch where they watched movies all night, the coffee shop she would force him to go to, and the overall energy of LA.
After a long talk, the three of them decided to leave LA. It seemed like a drastic change, but none of them were happy.
Matt never wanted to come to LA, Chris couldn't handle the memories, and Nick just wanted his brothers to be happy. So after a month of dealing with their management and trying to find a place back home, they finally were back in Boston.
Matt was happier, Nick was happier, and Chris was slowly doing better. He was eating more, laughing again, and even hanging out with friends. He still had trouble sleeping at night, his dreams filled with the memories he shared with her.
He'd wake up wishing that he spent more time savoring those moments instead of taking them for granted. He knew nothing lasted forever and yet he was naive enough to believe they would.
There was a specific night when he couldn't sleep, his mind silent as he stared at the wall. It irritated him, he was tired but something was keeping him awake. He dragged himself out of bed and went to the kitchen to find tea, hoping it would put him in a tranquil state, but there was no tea to be found.
With a sigh he slipped on his shoes and grabbed the car keys, sending a quick text to Nick and Matt, letting them know that if they woke up and he was still gone, he was just grabbing something from the store.
He planned on going to Walgreens, but on the way there, he saw a 24-hour coffee shop. It was small, the lighting giving up a warm glow that was already lulling him to sleep.
He parked the car and walked inside, the smell of the coffee grounds and lavender infiltrating his nose.
It reminded him of the coffee shop they would go to.
He stepped up to the register, looking at the menu for a second before ordering a large chamomile and lavender tea. It only took a second for the barista to hand him his drink, wishing him a 'good night' and telling him to 'be safe'.
With a brief smile he turns around, immediately locking eyes with her.
He could feel his heart fall to the pits of his stomach, his tea long forgotten and dropped to the ground.
"Hey Chris...."
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lupinqs · 1 day ago
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CHAPTER TWELVE ━━ State Championship
☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)
☆ ━ word count: 6.4K
☆ ━ warnings: underage drinking, smoking
☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist
☆ ━ author’s note: covid doesn’t exist in this fic yall. also… we only got like 2 maybe 3 more chapters left 😔😔 nearing the end
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IT’S MARCH now, and Dani’s life feels as close to perfect as it ever has—though, like everything else in her world, it’s stitched together with careful seams, fragile and vulnerable to the wrong touch. She and Paige are inseparable, their relationship deepening with every stolen moment, every knowing glance, every night spent whispering beneath the glow of a shared secret. They’re in love, entirely and helplessly, in a way Dani never thought possible. They’ve built their own kind of sanctuary, a place where Dani doesn’t have to pretend, doesn’t have to hide, doesn’t have to pray for the version of herself she can’t force into existence. A place that’s home.
Her father is still blissfully ignorant. Somehow, he hasn’t pieced it together, hasn’t realized that the “Beau and Dani” façade is a flimsy excuse for Dani to avoid questions she can’t answer. All that matters is her dad hasn’t found out about Paige, and as long as Dani can keep it that way, she can hold onto this little slice of happiness a bit longer.
Her camera is still her refuge, the one place she can express everything she’s too scared to say. She photographs everything these days: the crackling electricity of Paige on the court, Thaliah and Jalen during their group hangouts, the fleeting, golden light of early spring as it kisses the Minnesota snow. Photography gives her purpose, and in a way, it’s her excuse to be near Paige without raising suspicion. At almost every game, Dani can be found on the sidelines, her lens trained on the girl she loves. Sometimes she’s there for the yearbook, sometimes just as a spectator, but she never misses an opportunity to catch Paige mid-layup, her form perfect, her expression fierce. Those photos always end up in a folder on Dani’s laptop, separate from the yearbook shots, and Dani finds herself scrolling through them late at night, smiling at the way Paige lights up the screen.
Dani’s friendships with Thaliah and Jalen are as strong as ever. The three of them and Paige have returned to normalcy, often found loitering at diners, driving aimlessly through town, or sprawled out in Thaliah’s basement watching movies and laughing about nothing. They’re her grounding force, her reminder that she’s not alone in navigating the chaos of being seventeen and confused about almost everything. Paige fits into their dynamic seamlessly, too, and on the rare occasion they’re all together, Dani feels like the world might actually be okay.
College acceptance letters have been rolling in, and Dani’s future is starting to take shape—though not without its complications. She’s been accepted into every school she applied to, but it’s her UConn acceptance that sends her heart racing. It’s not just the great program or the nearly full-ride scholarship they’ve offered her—it’s the fact that Paige will be there. That, for once, Dani might have a future that feels like hers, not one dictated by her father or her faith or the crushing weight of expectation. But she hasn’t told her dad yet. She can’t. He knows Paige is going to UConn, knows about her basketball career and the national attention it’s garnered, and Dani knows he’d connect the dots too easily. So she keeps it to herself, tucking the letter into the back of her desk drawer and avoiding the subject whenever college comes up at home.
Currently, Dani sits among Paige’s family, her camera resting untouched in her lap. It’s the state championship, and Hopkins is favored to take the title the second year in a row. The student section is a riot of blue, loud and chaotic, but Dani has chosen the quieter comfort of this row, surrounded by people who feel like home. Jalen and his family are nearby, and Paige’s parents and siblings flank her on either side, a reassuring presence amid the frenzy.
On Dani’s left, Drew is practically vibrating with excitement, barely able to stay seated. Every few seconds, he glances over at her, his words tumbling out in bursts. “Did you see Paigey’s spin move?”
“I saw it,” Dani says, a small smile tugging at her lips. “She’s locked in.”
Bob, seated next to Drew, leans forward slightly, his voice carrying over the noise. “She used to practice that on me at the park. Couldn’t guard her then, can’t guard her now.”
Dani chuckles, turning to meet Bob’s grin. There’s an ease to him that she’s always appreciated—an unspoken acceptance. Bob has known about her and Paige for as long as she can remember, and though they’ve never had a direct conversation about it, the way he treats her makes it clear he’s always been on their side.
On Dani’s right, Amy is a comforting presence, quieter than Bob but just as attentive. She’d driven all the way from Montana with Ryan and Lauren to see Paige play, and Dani’s heart had softened the moment the woman exclaimed when she saw her, immediately engulfing her in a hug after over a year without seeing one another. Amy’s kindness is effortless, and Dani feels it in every question she asks—about school, about Dani’s photography, about her plans for college.
In front of Dani, Lauren, restless as ever, leans back against the Callan girl’s legs, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her Hopkins sweatshirt. She twists her head around to look at Dani, her eyes wide.
“Paige is so fast. I wanna be that fast,” she says, her voice barely cutting through the noise of the arena.
Dani stifles a laugh, glancing down at her. “Paige’ll train you if you ask her,” she tells Lauren, messing with her hair a little.
Ryan laughs at his younger sister. “You’ll never be as fast as P, Laur.” Lauren doesn’t say anything, just hits him a little on the shoulder.
And, true to their words of Paige’s quickness, the girl threads a pass through traffic to set up her teammate for an easy layup. The crowd erupts, and Dani’s heart swells with pride, even as she tries to keep her face neutral. Paige’s brilliance on the court always manages to take Dani’s breath away. It’s not just the skill—it’s the way she moves, like the game is an extension of herself, as natural as breathing.
Amy leans closer to Dani during a brief timeout, her voice soft so as not to disturb the boys’ running commentary on the game. “She loves having you here,” she says, her eyes fixed on Paige. “Plays better when you’re watching.”
Dani swallows the lump forming in her throat, her gaze fixed on Paige. “She doesn’t need me for that,” she murmurs, trying to brush it off, but Amy gives her a knowing smile.
“Maybe not. But she lights up around you, Dani. Always has.”
The words lodge themselves in Dani’s chest, warming her from the inside out. It’s moments like this—Paige’s family’s unwavering support—that make her feel like maybe, just maybe, she and Paige could have something not just real, but something lasting.
The game resumes, and Hopkins builds their lead, point by point, until victory feels inevitable. Paige is everywhere—driving to the basket, setting up her teammates, sinking jump shots with a precision that seems almost effortless. She makes it look easy, but Dani knows better. She knows the hours Paige spends on this court, the bruises and exhaustion she never complains about. And so Dani can’t help but beam every time Paige does something spectacular, her pride radiating from her in waves. Drew nudges her arm every few seconds, practically yelling over the noise.
Lauren shifts again, this time pulling on Dani’s sleeve. “Do you think Paige will win?”
“She will,” Dani answers without hesitation. “She always does.”
The final minutes tick down, and the crowd is on its feet, the noise swelling to a deafening roar. Paige drives to the basket, weaving through defenders, sinking the ball cleanly through the net. Dani can barely hear herself think over the cheers, but she doesn’t care. Her eyes are locked on Paige, her heart pounding in sync with the rhythm of the game. Victory is so close she can taste it.
And, when the final buzzer echoes through the gym, the crowd erupts in cheers, Dani screaming her throat raw, her grin so wide it aches. Hopkins wins, as everyone knew they would. On the court, the team jumps and screams, a chaotic tangle of joy, and in the middle of it all is Paige—beaming, her face radiant in the bright lights. She’s never looked more alive.
Dani can’t take her eyes off her.
Spectators flood the court, and Dani moves with Paige’s family and Jalen’s, weaving through the chaos. When Paige spots them, her gaze locks on Dani first, as if the rest of the world has faded away. Without hesitation, Paige rushes to her, weaving past her teammates and friends.
Dani doesn’t have time to react before Paige’s arms wrap tightly around her, pulling her close. Paige hunches slightly, burying her face in Dani’s neck. Her body is damp with sweat, and she smells faintly of effort and adrenaline, but Dani doesn’t care. She wraps her arms around Paige, steadying her.
“I’m so proud of you, P,” Dani says softly, her voice steady despite the lump in her throat.
Paige doesn’t pull back. Her lips brush against Dani’s hair, and she whispers so only Dani can hear, her voice a quiet tremor of affection, “Thanks, baby.”
Dani closes her eyes briefly, savoring the moment. Around them, the chaos continues—teammates screaming, parents cheering—but it feels like they’re standing in a bubble, untouched by anything outside of this.
When Paige finally pulls away, her parents are watching with fond smiles. Amy steps forward, already reaching for Dani’s camera. “You two, hold still. Let me take a picture.”
Paige grins and slings an arm around Dani’s shoulders, pulling her close. Her other hand lifts the gold medal hanging around her neck, the metal catching the light. Dani mirrors her smile, her own arm draped loosely around Paige’s waist. They don’t need to pose—the happiness radiates naturally, their closeness effortless.
Amy pulls back, glancing at the camera’s screen. “Oh, this is a good one. Come look.”
Dani leans in to see, and her breath catches. The image captures everything—the joy in their faces, the warmth in Paige’s gaze, the way their bodies lean toward each other as if they’re two halves of the same whole.
Paige and Dani meet eyes, sharing a grin.
The moment is brief but perfect before Paige turns to scoop Lauren into her arms, spinning her little sister in a circle. Drew tugs on her jersey, demanding his turn, while Ryan just hugs at Paige’s waist, proud of his older sister. Paige laughs, pulling them all into a huddle.
Dani steps back, giving them space but staying close. She does what she does best, taking her camera from Amy and getting a few candid shots—Paige holding Lauren on her hip, Ryan clapping her on the back, Drew trying on her medal for size. Joy radiates through every frame, and Dani knows these moments will stick with her for the rest of her life.
The state championship trophy gleams in the background, but to Dani, the real victory is right here.
IT’S THE NEXT night, a Saturday, and the house feels a little emptier now. Paige’s mom, Amy, had left earlier that morning to drive back to Montana with Ryan and Lauren in tow, their visit too brief but nice. Paige’s dad, Bob, had also left with Drew, heading to Paige’s grandparents’ house for a sleepover. Dani knows Paige had been invited too, but she’d turned down the invitation with a practiced excuse. “I’ve gotta lock in on my homework,” she’d said, a perfectly reasonable answer now that basketball season was over.
Dani, however, knows better. Paige had needed her house empty for a party in celebration of her state championship win. It’s not every day you lead your team to a perfect season and cap it off with a trophy. If anyone deserved to celebrate, it was Paige, and she wasn’t about to let the night pass without doing exactly that.
Now, the house is quiet but charged with anticipation. Everyone else isn’t supposed to arrive until 8:30, but Dani, Thaliah, and Jalen had shown up early, their small group finding an easy rhythm on the couch in Paige’s living room. Music hums softly in the background, a playlist already on shuffle as the three settle in, waiting for the night to kick off.
Thaliah sits in the middle, her legs crossed, the bottle of Pink Whitney balanced on her knee as she grins at the others. “Pregame!” she announces, her voice bright as she pours the syrupy pink liquid into four cups she’s pulled from her bag. She slides one toward Jalen, one toward Paige, and one toward Dani.
Dani hesitates, glancing at the cup in front of her. She knows the routine well enough—this isn’t the first time they’ve started a night like this. But tonight, the idea of drinking, of letting her guard down even a little, makes her stomach twist.
She shakes her head, gently pushing the cup back toward Thaliah. “Nah, I’m good.”
Next to her, Paige straightens, her arm slipping from Dani’s shoulders as she turns to look at her fully. “Why?” she asks, her tone light but curious, her brows pulling together in that way they do when she doesn’t understand something.
Dani doesn’t meet her gaze right away. Instead, she glances at the bottle of Whitney, at the three cups still sitting on the table, and then back to Paige. The truth hovers on the tip of her tongue, too heavy to say aloud: My dad’s next door. If he hears this party, if he figures out I’m here, it’s over for me.
She needs to be sober in case something might happen.
But she doesn’t want to ruin Paige’s night—not when Paige is practically glowing, her excitement infectious, her smile impossible to dim. So, Dani shrugs, keeping her voice casual as she says, “I’m just not really in the mood.”
Paige narrows her eyes, clearly unconvinced. Dani sighs, then adds, “Besides, we both know how you’re gonna end up tonight, so someone’s gotta babysit you.”
That gets a reaction. Paige gasps, clutching at her chest like Dani’s just insulted her honor. “I don’t need babysitting. I am a perfectly responsible drunk.”
Dani doesn’t even need to respond. Thaliah and Jalen both exchange a look, their silence loud enough to say what they’re all thinking: Paige is not a responsible drunk.
“Fine,” Paige relents, leaning back into Dani’s side with a dramatic sigh. Her arm finds its way back around Dani’s shoulders, her fingers drumming lightly against Dani’s collarbone. “As long as it’s you babysitting me, then I guess I’ll survive.”
Dani hums, a quiet sound of acknowledgment, and watches as the others down their drinks in quick succession. Thaliah pours herself another almost immediately, the bottle already half-empty, while Jalen laughs at something on his phone.
Paige leans closer to Dani, her weight warm and familiar. “You sure?” she murmurs, quieter this time, like she’s still trying to figure Dani out.
“I’m sure,” Dani says, her tone firm but not unkind. She offers Paige a small smile, hoping it’s enough to keep her from asking again.
The clock ticks toward 8:30, and the energy in the room begins to shift. Thaliah’s already scrolling through her phone, checking who’s on their way, while Jalen adjusts the playlist, turning the volume up just a little. Paige doesn’t move from her spot next to Dani, her leg pressed against hers, her head tilting to rest briefly on Dani’s shoulder.
The first wave of people start filtering in just past 8:30, the quiet hum of the house replaced by the buzz of voices, the bass of the music turned up to match the growing energy.
It’s not just close friends who show up—there are teammates, classmates, random people from their grade, and even a few who Dani swears she’s never seen before. Paige doesn’t seem to mind; in fact, she thrives on it. By now, Paige is already tipsy—not slurring her words or stumbling, but the telltale signs are there. Her laugh is louder, her smile wider, and her touch more insistent.
Dani feels Paige’s hand on her arm before she even sees her. Paige leans into her, shoulder bumping hers, her other arm draped casually across Dani’s waist like it belongs there. “You good?” Paige asks, her voice warm and loose, her words just slightly stretched out by the alcohol.
Dani nods. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Paige grins, her fingers giving Dani’s side a small squeeze before she turns her attention to someone else who calls her name. Even as Paige moves to greet them, her hand doesn’t leave Dani’s waist, her thumb brushing absentmindedly against the fabric of Dani’s shirt.
It’s not unusual for Paige to be affectionate, but the alcohol has made her even clingier than usual. Dani feels the weight of her touch constantly—Paige’s hand at her back, her arm slung over Dani’s shoulders, her knee pressing against Dani’s as they sit on the couch. It’s both comforting and a little overwhelming, especially when the house starts to fill with more and more people.
Eventually, Dani manages to slip away. Paige is busy chatting with Jalen and a couple guys on his team, and Dani uses the distraction to excuse herself, heading toward the bathroom for a moment of quiet.
When she emerges, the noise hits her again—laughter and music and the occasional sound of someone yelling in victory or frustration. Dani spots Thaliah near the kitchen and makes her way over, grateful for the familiar face.
Thaliah grins when she sees her, holding up a drink. “Surviving?”
“Barely,” Dani jokes, though there’s some truth to it. She’s still nervous about her dad, what probably won’t—but could—happen, a pit in her stomach.
She and Thaliah end up standing together near the makeshift beer pong table in the dining room, watching as Paige and Jalen take on two of their classmates. Paige is a little unsteady but clearly having the time of her life, laughing and leaning against the table as she lines up her shots. She’s unsurprisingly good, sinking cup after cup while Jalen cheers her on. It’s not long before Thaliah’s getting bored of spectating, mumbling something about needing another drink and walking away.
When Paige and Jalen win, the aformentioned throws her hands up in triumph, her laugh echoing above the rest of the noise. “Let’s go!” she yells, her voice bright and slurred, and Jalen high-fives her enthusiastically.
Then Paige turns, her eyes scanning the room until they land on Dani. Her entire face lights up, and before Dani can brace herself, Paige is weaving through the crowd, heading straight for her.
“Did you see that, baby?” Paige exclaims, throwing an arm over Dani’s shoulder, her weight pressing into her side. Her lips brush against Dani’s cheek as she leans close, her breath warm against Dani’s ear. “I won!”
Dani can’t help but laugh, steadying Paige with a hand on her waist. “Yeah, you did, P. Nice job.”
Paige beams, her cheeks flushed, and leans into Dani even more, her head briefly resting against Dani’s shoulder. For a moment, they just stand there, Paige sipping from her cup while Dani tries not to think too hard about how Paige’s hand is now resting on her hip.
“Dan,” Paige says suddenly, her voice softer now, almost contemplative. “If you don’t wanna drink, that’s fine, but…” She pauses, fumbling with her pocket before pulling out a sleek vape pen. She holds it out to Dani, her grin lopsided and playful. “At least take a couple hits of this. You’re sooooo tense.”
Dani blinks, caught off guard. “I’m not tense.”
“Yes, you are,” Paige insists, nudging the pen closer to Dani. Her other arm tightens around Dani’s shoulders, as if to emphasize her point. “Come on, baby. Chill out, we’re supposed to be havin’ fun!”
Dani rolls her eyes, a small smile lifting her lips as she takes the pen from Paige’s hand. She supposes she is a little tense. “Fine,” she mutters, earning a victorious cheer from Paige.
She takes a couple hits, the smoke smooth and warm in her lungs. It’s not much, but it’s enough to take the edge off, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly.
When she glances at Paige, she finds her already staring, her gaze heavy and a little glazed over. Paige leans in closer, her eyes locked on Dani’s mouth as she exhales, the smoke curling between them.
“Gimme some,” Paige murmurs, her voice low and slightly rough.
Dani starts to hand her the pen, but Paige shakes her head, a drunken smirk tugging at her lips. “Uh-uh,” she says, her tone teasing as she nods toward Dani.
It takes Dani a second to understand, but when she does, her cheeks warm. Still, she doesn’t argue. She takes another hit, holding it briefly before leaning in, her lips just barely brushing Paige’s as she exhales, the smoke passing between them.
The moment stretches, charged and intimate, and then Paige closes the distance, her lips soft and insistent against Dani’s. The kiss begins softly, almost tentative despite the alcohol in Paige’s system. Her lips are warm and slightly parted, brushing against Dani’s like a question she’s waiting for Dani to answer. Dani freezes for a moment, caught off guard, but then Paige presses closer, her hand cupping Dani’s cheek, and Dani lets herself fall into it.
Paige’s lips move against hers, slow and searching at first, but as the seconds stretch, the kiss deepens. There’s a quiet desperation in the way Paige tilts her head, her fingers sliding into Dani’s hair as if anchoring herself there. Her breath is warm and faintly sweet, carrying the tang of the vodka she’s been drinking, and it mixes with the sharp taste of smoke lingering on Dani’s lips.
Dani’s hand comes up instinctively, resting on Paige’s waist to steady her as she kisses back. Paige melts into the touch, leaning her entire body weight into Dani like she’s afraid to let go. Her other hand moves to Dani’s jaw, her thumb brushing over the edge of her cheekbone in a way that sends a shiver down Dani’s spine.
It’s messy, uncoordinated in the way that drunk kisses often are, but it’s also charged with a kind of raw emotion that makes Dani’s heart ache. Paige’s movements are eager and insistent, her lips sliding against Dani’s with just enough pressure to make Dani feel like she’s on the edge of something big, something she’s not sure she’s ready for.
Paige tilts her head again, deepening the kiss further. Her teeth catch lightly on Dani’s bottom lip, and Dani feels a quiet gasp leave her mouth, barely audible above the noise of the party. Paige takes the opportunity to slip her tongue past Dani’s lips, tasting her.
Dani doesn’t mean to respond so strongly, but her fingers tighten on Paige’s waist, pulling her closer until there’s no space left between them. Paige responds with a soft, almost needy sound, her nails lightly grazing the nape of Dani’s neck as she presses closer still.
The world around them blurs completely—Dani is vaguely aware of the music, the distant hum of voices, but it all feels far away, like a dream she’s not ready to wake up from. All she can focus on is Paige: the warmth of her mouth, the way her breath hitches every time Dani kisses her back just a little harder, the way she clings to Dani like this kiss is the only thing keeping her grounded.
Paige pulls back just slightly, enough to breathe but not enough to break the moment. Her lips are red and slightly swollen, her breath shallow and unsteady as she whispers, “God, Dani…”
Her forehead rests against Dani’s for a beat, her eyes fluttering open to meet Dani’s as she catches her breath. But then Paige is leaning back in, capturing Dani’s lips again with a hunger that takes Dani’s breath away. The kiss is deeper now, more urgent, and Dani finds herself gripping Paige’s waist harder, her other hand sliding up to rest against Paige’s back.
Paige’s fingers thread through Dani’s hair, tugging gently as she angles her head, and Dani feels her knees wobble slightly. Paige must notice, because she shifts, pressing Dani back against the wall for support without breaking the kiss. The cool surface against Dani’s back contrasts sharply with the heat radiating from Paige, grounding her even as the kiss makes her head spin.
Paige’s lips trail down Dani’s jawline, the kisses wet and clumsy but full of a drunken intensity that leaves Dani breathless. By the time Paige reaches her neck, her lips part, pressing open-mouthed kisses against the sensitive skin there, her breath warm and uneven. Dani feels herself shiver despite the heat radiating between their bodies, her hands reflexively gripping Paige’s hips to steady her.
Paige hums low in her throat, the sound almost like a purr, vibrating against Dani’s skin. “Dan,” she murmurs, her voice desperate and slurred, “need you so bad.”
Dani lets out a soft laugh, unable to hide her amusement at Paige’s sheer neediness. She tilts her head slightly, giving Paige a bit of space while teasing, “Uh-uh.”
Paige immediately protests, her lips brushing against Dani’s collarbone as she pulls back just enough to grumble, “Yes, huh.” Her voice is petulant, like a kid arguing over bedtime, and it’s so quintessentially Paige that Dani can’t help but chuckle again.
“P,” Dani says, still laughing softly, “you’re so drunk.”
Paige finally pulls back, her lips swollen and her cheeks flushed, and she pouts at Dani, her big blue eyes glassy with alcohol and indignation. “No, I’m not,” she insists, her tone petulant but her words slightly slurred, betraying the lie.
Dani raises a brow, smirking as she tucks a stray strand of Paige’s blonde hair behind her ear. “Yeah, babe, you are,” she says, her voice soft but firm. “And we aren’t doing anything here tonight.”
Paige groans dramatically, throwing her head back like Dani just told her Christmas was canceled. “You’re no fun,” she mumbles, before collapsing forward and leaning all of her weight into Dani.
Dani stumbles slightly, pressed fully against the wall as Paige rests her head against Dani’s shoulder, her arms wrapping loosely around Dani’s waist. Dani pats Paige on the back, still laughing at her dramatics. “You’ll survive.”
“No, I won’t,” Paige grumbles into Dani’s shoulder, her voice muffled and childlike. “You’re so mean.”
Dani shakes her head, her grin widening. “Yeah, yeah. I’m the meanest girlfriend in the world.” She shifts her weight, trying to stand upright despite Paige’s clinginess.
Paige nuzzles into Dani’s neck, her lips brushing her skin again, though it’s less intentional now and more out of sheer drunken affection. “Still love you, though,” Paige murmurs, her words slurred but earnest, and it makes Dani’s chest tighten in spite of herself.
“Love you too, P,” Dani says softly, smoothing a hand over Paige’s back. “Let’s go sit down, ‘kay?”
Paige groans again, half-protesting, but she doesn’t resist as Dani gently guides her toward the couch. She’s still clinging to Dani, her steps unsteady and her grip loose but insistent, and Dani knows it’s going to be a long night. But she doesn’t mind—not when it’s Paige. Never when it’s Paige.
Paige slumps against the couch cushions, her head lolling to one side, her legs sprawled out in a careless, almost exaggerated manspread that makes Dani roll her eyes, though she can’t suppress the small grin tugging at her lips. Paige looks completely gone—her eyelids heavy, her cheeks flushed, and her movements languid.
“I’m gonna get you some water,” Dani says, brushing her hand over Paige’s shoulder.
“Nooo,” Paige whines, her hand shooting out to grab at Dani’s wrist. It’s a clumsy effort, her fingers barely wrapping around Dani’s arm. “Don’t go.”
Dani lightly swats at Paige’s hand, shaking it off gently. “I’ll only be a second. Be patient.”
Paige groans, letting her head fall back against the couch dramatically, but her grip loosens. “Fine,” she mutters, dragging the word sulkily.
Dani steps away quickly, navigating through the still-buzzing crowd of teenagers in the house. Music thumps in the background, but it feels like white noise compared to the task at hand. She reaches the kitchen and pours a glass of water, the sound of liquid filling the cup drowned out by distant laughter and chatter. Dani moves fast, threading her way back to the couch.
When she returns, Paige is still slumped where Dani left her, looking half-asleep. Dani hands her the glass. “Here. Drink.”
Paige takes it reluctantly, holding the cup like it’s some kind of punishment, but she starts sipping. Her free hand tugs at Dani’s arm until Dani sits down beside her again, and Paige immediately leans into her, her weight warm and heavy against Dani’s side. Dani sighs, wrapping an arm loosely around Paige’s shoulders to keep her upright.
By now, it’s well past one in the morning, and the party has started to blur into a sluggish haze. Dani glances around the room, noting how many kids are still there, laughing, drinking, some making out in corners. It’s chaos, but a controlled kind—the kind Dani knows Paige thrives in, especially when she’s drunk and her walls are down.
Thaliah appears suddenly, stumbling over to them with a grin. She eyes the glass of water in Paige’s hand and giggles. “Mmm, good idea,” Thaliah slurs, nodding approvingly. “Sobering up so you can go drink more later. Maybe I’ll do that.”
Dani watches, wanting to bang her head against the wall as Paige’s eyes light up at Thaliah’s word. “That is a good idea—”
“No,” Dani cuts in sharply, shooting Thaliah—and then Paige—a pointed look. “No more drinking.”
Paige whines, turning her face toward Dani. “Why not?”
“Because you’re already—” Dani starts, but she doesn’t get to finish.
A shadow falls over them, and Dani’s heart drops. She looks up, and there he is. Bob Bueckers, standing in front of the couch, his face a mix of fury and disgust as he takes in the scene before him: his house packed with drunk teenagers, music blaring, solo cups that are undoubtedly filled with alcohol littering every surface. Clearly, he decided not to spend the night at his parent’s house with Drew.
Thaliah freezes, her eyes wide as she immediately begins tiptoeing away from the couch, leaving Dani and Paige to fend for themselves. Paige, still leaning heavily against Dani, looks up blearily, her expression slow to register what’s happening. When she finally recognizes her father, her reaction is painfully on-brand.
“Uh-oh,” she mumbles, blinking up at him with an almost childlike innocence.
Dani closes her eyes briefly, resisting the urge to facepalm. Paige’s drunken state is painfully obvious, and Dani already knows this is going to be a disaster.
“Uh-oh?” Bob repeats, his voice low and dangerous. Then, louder: “Uh-oh?”
Paige straightens slightly, though her movements are still slow and uncoordinated. She raises her hands in a sloppy gesture of surrender, smiling hazily. “It’s… it’s a party! We’re… ce-celebrating.”
Bob stares at her, his jaw tightening as his face flushes with barely contained anger. “A party?” he repeats, his voice sharp. “What the hell, Paige?”
Paige just shrugs, looking far too pleased with herself for someone caught red-handed. Dani feels like she might melt into the couch from secondhand embarrassment.
Bob doesn’t wait for an answer. He looks around the room, his voice booming as he yells, “The party’s over! Everyone out, right now! If you’re not gone in two minutes, I’m calling the cops!”
The reaction is immediate. Teenagers start scrambling for the exits, grabbing their coats, phones, and friends as they rush to leave. Dani watches the chaos unfold, spotting Thaliah and Jalen slipping out the front door together. She sighs, about to stand and leave too, assuming that Bob will want her out of the house as well.
But before she can move, Paige’s arms tighten around her waist.
“No!” Paige protests, pulling Dani back onto the couch with surprising strength for someone so drunk. Dani sighs again, her back stiff as Paige clings to her like a lifeline.
“Paige, let go,” Dani whispers, glancing nervously at Bob.
“No,” Paige mumbles, burying her face in Dani’s shoulder.
Bob, meanwhile, is still ushering the last of the partygoers out the door, his voice firm and unyielding. Once the house is empty, the silence feels deafening. It’s just the three of them now—Bob, Dani, and a very drunk Paige.
Dani swallows hard, her pulse thudding in her ears. She braces herself, waiting for Bob to unleash whatever wrath he’s been holding back. If she’s lucky, she’ll escape this with just a scolding. If she’s not… well, she doesn’t want to think about that. She really hopes he doesn’t end up hating her after this—he’s the closest thing she’s got when it comes to the good father figure department.
Paige, oblivious to the tension, tightens her hold on Dani and sighs happily. “Love you,” she mumbles into Dani’s shoulder, and Dani wants to disappear entirely.
Bob finally comes back over to stand before the two teenage girls on the couch, massaging his temple with the heel of his hand. Dani sits stiffly, her back ramrod straight and her knees pressed tightly together. Paige is draped against her side, unbothered by the tension crackling in the air, her head lolling lazily against Dani’s shoulder. Dani can feel the warmth of Paige’s skin through her sweatshirt, a stark contrast to the icy knot forming in her stomach.
Dani has never seen Bob angry before. He’s always been the calm dad, the fun one, the nice one. But there’s something in his posture now—the way his shoulders slump under an invisible weight—that reminds Dani of her own father. And if it’s anything like that, she’d prefer to run now.
But she doesn’t. Her legs feel glued to the couch, her posture rigid, fingers drumming anxiously in her lap. She fights the urge to bite her nails, her gaze darting nervously between Bob and the floor. The silence stretches on, unbearable, until Bob finally looks up.
His eyes flicker over Paige first, scanning her flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes, before shifting to Dani. His gaze lands on her like a weight, making her squirm despite herself.
“Are you sober?” Bob asks, his voice low and steady but with an edge of exhaustion.
Dani nods quickly, her throat too dry to speak. Before she can even think of a follow-up, Paige chimes in, her words slow and slurred. “She is,” Paige announces proudly, as if Dani’s sobriety is some kind of personal achievement. “Said she wanted to be reeeesponsible.” The word stretches out into a lazy drawl, and Dani winces.
Bob’s gaze sharpens as it shifts back to Paige. His jaw tightens, and when he speaks, his voice is harder now, disappointment cutting through every syllable. “I wish that responsibility would’ve reflected onto you.”
Paige shrugs one shoulder, an exaggerated, floppy movement. “Lighten up, Dad,” she mutters, reaching for the hem of Dani’s shirt and fiddling with it absentmindedly.
Bob doesn’t lighten up. Instead, he launches into a quiet but firm tirade, scolding Paige for the party, the drinking, the sheer lack of judgment. The words spill out like a steady stream, but Dani can tell they’re bouncing off Paige, who isn’t even trying to follow along. She’s too busy twisting the fabric of Dani’s shirt around her fingers, her head tilted back against the couch cushion like this is just another ordinary night.
Dani can’t take it anymore. She clears her throat, shifting forward on the couch as she tries to catch Bob’s attention. “We’re really sorry about all of this,” she says, before flickering her gaze over to Paige who looks like she couldn’t care less. “I’m really sorry about all of this. I shouldn’t have let her drink so much. I should’ve kept everyone else more in check since I was the sober one. I’m really sorry.”
Bob rubs his temple again, his eyes closing briefly as he exhales through his nose. “I appreciate that, Dani,” he says finally, his tone softening just a fraction. “I just—look, I think you should go home, okay?”
Dani’s stomach sinks. She knows it’s the right thing to do, knows she probably shouldn’t even be here right now. But guilt claws at her, and she can’t help but offer, “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and help clean up? I don’t mind.”
Bob gives her a tight, strained smile, the kind that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He shakes his head, saying, “It’s okay. I—I gotta with her.” He gestures to Paige.
Dani nods again, swallowing the lump in her throat. She starts to shift away from Paige, untangling herself from her girlfriend’s grip, but Paige immediately grabs at her arm, her fingers curling tightly around Dani’s wrist.
“No,” Paige protests, her voice suddenly sharper, though still slurred. “Dad, she’s not leaving.”
Bob’s eyes narrow, his patience clearly wearing thin. “Yes, she is,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “No more arguments, Paige. I swear to God.”
The words hit Paige like a bucket of cold water. For a moment, she’s silent, blinking up at her dad with a look that’s almost confused. Dani uses the opportunity to slip out of her grasp, standing quickly and smoothing down the front of her sweatshirt.
She turns to Bob, her voice soft but earnest. “I’m sorry again for all of this, Mr. Bueckers.”
Bob’s expression softens slightly, and he gives her a small nod. “Thank you, Dani. And you know to call me Bob.”
Dani manages a faint smile, relief washing over her. At least he doesn’t hate her. She taps Paige gently on the shoulder—a silent goodbye—before turning and heading toward the door. Paige doesn’t say anything, just watches her leave with a glazed-over look in her eyes.
As Dani steps out into the night, the cool air hits her like a slap, and she pulls her jacket tighter around herself. She spares one last glance at the house before setting a quick pace to her own next door, needing to get out of the cold.
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mrgrimreaper1 · 3 hours ago
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Dude this is sick, reminds me of this cool different Undertale multiverse idea I've made one day.
[this whole Multiverse happens like, years down the line, pretty much a time skip AU causing error and ink to be much stronger for some reason, there's a reason why I scrapped it a lot of the story is me making a scenario in my head and struggling to explain why it happens the way it does.]
In it error sans finally managed to end ink, and once he does it he regrets it later on because of the boredom that come from no one on his level to really attempt to fight back against him destroying things, and since there was no one making Another AU protector for so long, he needed to slow down on destroying the AU's because of [reasons that don't really make any sense for his canon character to do, because he would probably destroy them all regardless of how he would feel about it afterwards, which is why I've made this a completely different multiverse altogether AND scrapped it.]
Because in this MV (MultiVerse) he would die of absolute boredom if he actually destroyed everything in one swoop, so he needed to balance destroying things and then wait for creators to create more anomalies for him to destroy, which he finds really annoying, so in his absolute bored out of his mind state, he makes the choice to create something himself.
A replacement for ink that could rival him and force creators to work overtime and make more anomalies for him to destroy, he takes a pen and paper and sketches a sans design heavily based on ink, which is why this version of "ink" is named "sketch!sans" with nicknames like "sketchy, sketched, sketchup." [Ketchup joke, made by either classic sans or fresh sans, haven't really chosen who did it, could be any Sans', really.]
Then to bring this character to life error after a while of trying he would get really frustrated, because he doesn't know how to do it, making him throw the drawing away.
Causing it to fall down to the bottom of ink's doodle sphere where the remains of the destroyed AU's remained or something causing sketch sans to actually be created...
[...This only works here because I reworked what happens once you destroy an au, in this multiverse once you destroy an AU, the Portal to said AU in the doodle sphere turns into magic ink and it remains at the bottom of the doodle sphere for the rest of eternity, but thanks to how many AU's we're destroyed they accumulated and mixed together, making a huge mess.]
Thanks to the ink being mixed together this version of ink sans would come out with a lot defects, he would come out of the ink "colorless" or just "black, white and grey." Being straight up a blank Canvas, a husk of what the real ink is supposed to be, so a lot of his emotions were muddled and he didn't act like what you'd expect ink to act like...
...Causing sketch sans to be very insecure? Maybe, his whole character arc that I've had planned for him is him trying to live up to error's expectations and straight up trying his damnest to act like ink would, causing a lot of identity crisis's until he met the star Sanses and they explain to him why he simply can't get his whole attempt to imitate ink right, so they introduce him to the vials ink used to act the way he did, then sketch would start going after said vials to act more like ink, as he kept finding and drinking more of these vials he would slowly and surely becoming a lot more like ink and he would regain his colors with each vial, with error constantly encouraging this to make him keep going and get the real ink back, thanks to error's inability to care for sketch's whole identity crisis causing sketch to reach his breaking point when he meets Cross!Sans and his whole thing and experience with identity crisis's and making him realize how abusive this relationship with error is, causing him to either cut ties with error or just become his own person and completely ignore error's wishes, and just deal with him without the pressure of having to act like ink, or whatever, I don't have a proper ending to it.
It was nice getting this off my chest and head.
ERROR!INK (ASYNC SANS)
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ok so, finally came with a full idea of this character:D an error version of ink. i'll be listing some facts and clarifications about him to prevent any kind of confusion, just under the cut!
i wanted to write his entire backstory on here but it ended up being a little too much longer than i expected so maybe i'll make a comic about it- or no (wheheh). but basically everything started when he also tore his soul but appeared in the anti-void instead of a normal void that would eventually become his doodle sphere
now, his design choices
he's wearing the first ever clothes he used in His Story comic
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his eyes colors were chosen thanks to their inverts, those specific magenta and blue are the opposites of green and yellow, the first colors he experienced in his original story
the marks on his body are white to represent the meaning of the few white garments in his original design: "The white layer underneath says how he attempts to hide who he is, but his emptiness sometimes shines through."
his "tattoos" are no longer illegible when he turns into an error, they become common binary codes (the font used for these is Note This, ink's official font)
the red (magenta) eye is on the right side to somehow symbolize the blood his "scar" would cause
there is no yellow on his clothes to show how secretive he is, as he constantly hides half his face in his scarf
personality traits and extra facts!
as said before he is someone incredibly reserved, mostly because while being in his 5 senses he is afraid of his self without his doses of paints and tries to not attract attention
nonetheless, he likes being around people, he would probably travel across universes to hang out hidden in crowded places
the "specific situations" mentioned on the first part of the sheet refer, for the most part, to self-defense. but there may be other situations where he simply creates stuff that people ask for from time to time
compared to his original counterpart, he will take much longer to drain as he'll rarely use his powers
if he talks for too much time he'll glitch for an instant and forget everything he was saying. that is one of the reason he doesn't enjoy talking so much
when he's in the doodle sphere he often has momentary traumatic hallucinations, so he tries to leave that place as quickly as possible
these previously mentioned hallucinations also happen in panic situations or as a sign that the ingested paints are no longer effective
okie dokie i think that's all for now<3 if anything comes to my mind later or anytime i'll try to post it or smth! hope you like it🫶
ink sans by @/comyet
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batboyblog · 2 days ago
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See I kind of get the idea of wanting her to at least say “I’ll comply but I’m not happy about it” even if that does t fix anything it feels like more self respect?
But as it’s been said Sarah McBride is in a bad situation, perhaps her coming across as “weak” will let the republicans underestimate her and allow her to slip some good in under her radar.
my thought is, Sarah McBride is the first trans person elected to a State Senate seat, she's the first trans person elected to Congress and the first trans person to win a statewide election anywhere in the United States.
SO! I'm going to say that she knows best how to deal with politically motivated transphobia.
people might say "well I would have said..." but in this case maybe just maybe defer to the expert, she's broken so many barriers, overcome so much, opened the way for everyone who might want to follow her. You do not live her life if you are weak, it takes unspeakable strength and will power to do what she has done. She's a very strong person and I think everyone owes her the respect to allow her to handle her business how she thinks is best and again since she's the first trans person to win a statewide election, I'm just gonna guess here, she's right, whatever she chooses to do is likely the smartest best move a trans politician could make because spoiler she's the greatest trans politician in American history.
I was gonna end there, but I am again reminded of the words of the legendary Ann Richards
"I think of all the political fights I’ve fought, and all the compromises I’ve had to accept as part payment. And I think of all the small victories that have added up to national triumphs and all the things that would never have happened and all the people who would’ve been left behind if we had not reasoned and fought and won those battles together. And I will tell Lily that those triumphs were Democratic Party triumphs."
Thats politics, all the compromises, often painful, she doesn't say the set backs up yes the set backs, but you stay in the field you keep fighting even when they humiliate you, because if you give up and go away, like they want you to, all the people who get left behind, so you tough it out, for them if not yourself.
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jaeyunluvbot · 2 days ago
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ceilings
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genre/tags 𝟅𝟈 childhood friends to lovers, best friends to lovers, college au, mark lee x fem!reader,
word count 𝟅𝟈 4.1k
NOT PROOFREAD
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
You sit cross-legged on the couch in your dorm, a half-empty mug of coffee going cold on the table in front of you. Your laptop is open, the beginnings of a lesson plan appearing on the screen. Across the room, Mark is sprawled in your beanbag chair, a stack of notebooks and his own laptop scattered haphazardly around him.
“Remind me why you picked education again?” he teases, spinning a pen between his fingers.
“Because I like helping people,” you say without looking up. “Unlike you, who’s clearly just here to take up space.”
Mark laughs, the sound comforting and familiar. “Yikes. I’m just saying, you’ve been staring at that screen for, like, two hours. Are you actually working, or just writing your name in different fonts?”
You roll your eyes, finally glancing over at him. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of slacking off, Mr. Communications Major.”
“Hey, excuse you,” Mark says, sitting up a little. “I’m a communications major with a business minor. Very serious stuff.”
“Right,” you deadpan. “I’m sure the world is just desperate for your next paper on influencer marketing.”
He grins, leaning back again. “You know it.”
The conversation feels like a warm blanket, familiar and comforting. You’ve been best friends with Mark since third grade, and moments like this remind you why. No matter what life throws your way, he’s always been there—ready with a joke, a smile, or a friday-night movie marathon.
Still, lately, things have felt off… different. You hesitate, tapping your fingers on the edge of your laptop.
“Mark?”
“Hmm?” he says, not looking up from the YouTube video he’s somehow roped into his “studying.”
“You know Jaemin, right? From my educational psych class?”
Mark pauses the video, his brow furrowing slightly. “Yeah, I know him. Why?”
“Well…” you trail off, suddenly not sure if you should tell him. “He asked me out yesterday.”
Mark doesn’t react immediately, his face carefully neutral. “Oh. What’d you say?”
“I said yes.”
Mark’s jaw tightens imperceptibly before he nods, forcing a smile. “That’s cool. Jaemin’s… cool.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, sure,” he says, a little too quickly. “He’s nice. And, you know, he’s on the soccer team. Everyone loves a soccer guy.”
You tilt your head, watching him cautiously. “You’re being weird.”
“I’m not being weird,” Mark argues, shifting his position to cover his fidgeting. “I’m happy for you, Y/N. Really, I am.”
You squint at him, unconvinced, but let it go. “Cool.”
The rest of the evening passes in a strange kind of silence. Mark cracks a few jokes here and there, but the usual ease between you feels just a little strained.
Later that night, as you lie in bed staring at the ceiling, the soft whirring of your fan lulling you into a tired state, you can’t shake the feeling that something has shifted. But what—and why—you can’t quite figure out.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
A month later, you and Mark find yourselves in your favorite spot off-campus, a cozy little café that’s been your special place since freshman year. You’re sitting by the window, sipping a caramel latte and doodling on a napkin while Mark devours a bagel like it’s his last meal.
“I’m just saying,” he says between bites, crumbs and seeds scattering all over the table, “professors shouldn’t assign group projects if they know people like Yuta exist.”
“Not this again,” you groan, half-laughing. “What did he do this time?”
“What didn’t he do?” Mark gestures dramatically. “He wrote a single sentence and called it his ‘contribution.’ I’m carrying this guy through college, Y/N.”
“Maybe he’s just shy,” you suggest, smiling at your best friend’s complaints.
Mark shakes his head, pointing at you with a crumb-covered finger. “No, no. Shy people at least pretend to help. Yuta just disappears.”
You laugh, the sound bright against the low hum of the café. Moments like this remind you why Mark is your favorite person.
Which makes your next suggestion seem obvious—at least to you.
“You know,” you say, swirling your spoon in your cup, “you should hang out with Jaemin.”
Mark freezes mid-chew, his eyes widening slightly. “What?”
“You and Jaemin,” you repeat. “I feel like you’d get along. You’re both funny and laid-back, and you like soccer.”
“I don’t like soccer,” Mark says flatly.
“You played soccer in high school,” you counter.
“Because my mom made me,” he argues, setting his muffin down. “And no offense, but I don’t think me and Jaemin would get along.”
“How do you know?” you challenge, leaning forward. “You’ve never hung out with him. He’s really nice, Mark.”
Mark’s expression shifts, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face. “I’m sure he is,” he says carefully. “But… why are you so set on this?”
“Because you’re my best friend,” you say simply. “And he’s… my boyfriend. It would just be nice if you guys were friends, too.”
Mark looks at you for a long moment, his jaw tightening slightly before he nods. “Okay,” he says finally. “If it’s that important to you, I’ll hang out with him.”
You beam, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thanks, Mark. It means a lot.”
He forces a smile, but as he takes another bite of his muffin, you notice the way his shoulders tense.
And for the second time that week, you can’t shake the feeling that something is off.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Mark adjusts his hoodie for the third time as he steps into the campus rec center, wondering how mad you’d be if he flaked on Jaemin. He spots him right away, standing by the basketball court with a bright smile on his face, spinning a ball on his finger effortlessly.
“Mark!” Jaemin calls, waving enthusiastically.
Mark forces a grin and waves back, shoving his hands into his pockets as he approaches.
“Hey,” he says.
“Glad you made it,” Jaemin says, tossing the ball to him. “You play, right?”
“Uh, not really,” Mark admits, catching the ball awkwardly.
Jaemin chuckles, his tone warm and friendly. “No worries. We’ll just shoot around. Nothing serious.”
They step onto the court, and Jaemin immediately starts talking, filling the space with his easy energy. He’s exactly how Y/N described—friendly, funny, and genuinely likable.
“So, Y/N told me you guys have been friends forever,” Jaemin says, making a shot effortlessly.
“Yeah,” Mark replies, dribbling the ball and taking a shot. It bounces off the backboard, and he winces. “We grew up together.”
“That’s awesome,” Jaemin says, running after the ball. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a friendship like that. She talks about you all the time, you know.”
Mark swallows hard, his throat tightening at the thought. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jaemin continues, passing the ball back to him. “She says you’re, like, the best person she knows. Always there for her.”
Mark forces a smile, the comment accentuating the already heavy weight on his chest. “She’s pretty great herself,” he says, taking another shot. This one goes in, and Jaemin claps excitedly.
“She really is.” Jaemin says, smiling softly.
As they continue playing, Mark starts to feel a strange mix of guilt and admiration. Jaemin is genuinely a good guy—there’s no doubt about it, and he obviously cares about Y/N. But every time Jaemin mentions her, Mark feels like he’s been punched in the gut.
“So,” Jaemin says after a while of playing, leaning against the wall to catch his breath. “What do you think of me?”
Mark nearly chokes on his water. “What?”
“Come on,” Jaemin says, laughing. “I know you probably weren’t super excited about this. Y/N might’ve had to twist your arm a bit. So, what’s the verdict?”
Mark hesitates, running a hand through his hair. “You’re… a good guy,” he says finally.
Jaemin raises an eyebrow, grinning. “That’s it?”
Mark shrugs, forcing his hands to stay placed firmly on the ball, needing something to ground himself before he shouts his feelings to the world. “Y/N thinks so, and she’s usually right about people.”
Jaemin chuckles, his expression softening. “She’s something else, huh?”
Mark nods, his throat tightening again. “Yeah. She is.”
Jaemin leans back against the wall, tossing the ball between his hands. “I don’t know what I did to deserve her, honestly. She’s just… amazing.”
Mark doesn’t respond, forcing a smile, his chest aching at how easily Jaemin says the words Mark’s been too afraid to even think about out loud.
“Anyway,” Jaemin says, breaking the silence. “Thanks for hanging out. I know you probably had better things to do.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Mark replies, his voice quieter now.
As they step back onto the court to finish their game, Mark tries to focus on the sound of the ball hitting the floor, anything to distract himself from the guilt gnawing at him. Jaemin is exactly as Y/N said—perfect. And yet, Mark can’t shake the heavy, unspoken truth weighing on his chest.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
The Friday after Mark and Jaemin’s basketball game, Mark sat on your couch, scrolling aimlessly through his phone while you organized your notes at the dining table. It was a typical evening—quiet and uneventful—but something felt off. Mark had been acting strange ever since his hangout with Jaemin, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying to you about something.
“Hey,” you called, your voice cutting through the silence. “You’ve been weird lately. Is something wrong?”
Mark didn’t even glance up. “I’m fine,” he said curtly.
You frowned but decided not to push. Instead, you tried to lighten the mood. “So, Jaemin was telling me about this soccer game next weekend, maybe all three of us could —”
“Do you talk about anything but Jaemin?” Mark snapped, his voice slicing through you sentence like a blade.
You froze, staring at him in confusion. “What?”
“You’re always talking about him,” Mark continued, setting his phone down with more force than necessary. “Jaemin this, Jaemin that. Do you even realize how much you talk about him?”
Your confusion quickly turned to anger. “Mark, what’s your problem? You’re the one who’s been acting all weird, and now you’re getting mad at me for talking about my boyfriend?”
Mark stood abruptly, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Forget it. Just forget I said anything.”
“No,” you shot back, standing too. “You don’t get to yell at me and then walk away. What’s going on with you?”
“I said forget it, Y/N!” Mark shouted, his voice louder than you'd ever heard it before.
You took a step back, a pang hurt flashing across your face. “Fine. If you don’t want to talk to me, then don’t.”
For a moment, Mark’s expression softened, guilt and regret flickering in his eyes. But he quickly hardened again, grabbing his jacket. “You know what? I won’t.” Without another word, he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
You stood frozen in place, your chest tight and tears pricking your eyes. You'd argued before, sure, but this time felt different—more real. You sank onto the couch, mind racing with questions you didn’t have answers to.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
During the days following the argument, you tried to go about life as normal, but Mark’s absence hung over you like a dark cloud. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was deeply wrong. Jaemin was the first to notice.
The two of you were sitting on a park bench after grabbing coffee, the late afternoon sun casting warm light over the pond in front of them. Your barely touched your drink, gaze distant as you stared at the ducks paddling by.
“You’ve been quiet lately,” Jaemin said gently, voice soft, as if he was afraid of what he was about to say.
“I’m fine,” you replied automatically, though your voice lacked any sense of genuineness.
Jaemin tilted his head, studying you with a soft, understanding look. “You don’t have to pretend with me, you know.”
You sighed, shoulders slumping. “Mark and I had a fight. He’s been acting so weird, and I don’t know why. It’s like he’s mad at me for something, but he won’t tell me what.”
Jaemin hesitated, his expression thoughtful. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure you don’t have feelings for Mark?”
Your head snapped up, your eyes wide in surprise, looking at her boyfriend, shocked. “What? No. Of course I don’t. He’s my best friend.”
Jaemin didn’t say anything right away, his gaze steady but kind. “Listen,” he began carefully, “you’re a great girl. Really. But... I think you might care about him more than you realize.”
You shook your head, a pit of dread bubbling in your stomach. “Jaemin, I—I like you. I do.”
“I know,” he said softly, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “But not the way you like him. And that’s okay.”
Tears stung your eyes as guilt washed over you. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do this to you,” you whispered.
“Don’t be,” Jaemin said, placing a reassuring hand over yours. “You can’t help how you feel. And honestly? I think you should talk to him. Figure it out.”
You sniffled, giving him a small, watery smile. “You’re too nice, you know that?”
Jaemin laughed, leaning back against the bench. “I know.”
Despite the weight of their conversation, you felt a strange sense of clarity. You didn’t know what you were going to say to Mark, but for the first time, you knew you had to try.
You left the park bench with a renewed sense of purpose and a goal, to talk to Mark.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Jaemin was lying on your bed, legs stretched out as you paced back and forth. You had been trying to contact Mark for days—texts, calls, voicemails—but every attempt was met with silence. And it was driving you crazy.
“I don’t get it,” you mumbled, frustration and sadness evident in your voice. “He’s never acted like this before. We’ve argued before and we always made up, but now... now he’s avoiding me like I’m some kind of plague.”
Jaemin watched you, a quiet understanding in his gaze. He could tell how much it was bothering you, even though you were trying your very best to hide it.
“You’re not giving up, are you?” Jaemin asked, leaning forward slightly.
You stopped mid-pace, looking at him with a mixture of exhaustion and annoyance. “I don’t have a choice, Jaemin. He clearly doesn’t want to talk to me. Maybe I messed up, maybe I pushed him too far, but he’s not responding.”
Jaemin shook his head, his smile soft but firm. “Don’t give up on him, Y/N. You love him, and he clearly feels something similar for you. Maybe he just needs a little push.”
You sigh, sitting down beside him on the bed. “I just don’t know what else to do. It’s not like I haven’t tried.”
Jaemin paused for a second, a glint of mischief creeping into his eyes. “Well, what if I told you I had a plan to make him face you?”
You raise an eyebrow, skeptical but curious. “What?”
He grinned, clearly proud of himself. “I do. But you’re gonna have to trust me on this one.”
You frowned but nodded, trusting Jaemin more than anyone else. “Alright, what’s the plan?”
Jaemin leaned in, his voice lowering to a whisper as he began to lay out the details of his plan. He knew it was a little underhanded, but if it meant fixing things with Mark and you, he was willing to take the risk.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
A few days later, Mark was hanging out with his friends Haechan and Chenle at their usual café. He had been avoiding you, and it wasn’t because he wanted to. The guilt gnawed at him every time he saw your name pop up on his phone, but he didn’t know how to fix things. Every time he thought about talking to you, he freaked out, not knowing if he could handle being rejected by you.
“Man, you’ve been really quiet lately,” Haechan said, nudging Mark’s shoulder. “What’s up with you?”
Mark shrugged, not meeting either of their gazes. “Just… tired, I guess.”
Chenle raised an eyebrow. “Tired? Dude, you’re literally doing nothing. Just hiding out at home all day.”
“Yeah,” Haechan added, “and avoiding Y/N. Come on, what’s going on between you two?”
Mark stiffened, his heart skipping a beat at the mention of your name. He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, his phone buzzed. A new message from Jaemin.
Hey, man. I need you to do me a favor.
Mark hesitated for a moment before replying, his fingers hovering over the keys. What’s up?
I need you to meet me at the park in 30 minutes. Trust me, it’s important.
Mark frowned, sensing something was off, but he couldn’t figure out what. Okay, fine. I’ll be there.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket, barely noticing Haechan and Chenle’s knowing smiles.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
When Mark arrived at the park, he found Jaemin leaning against a bench, looking unusually serious.
“Why’d you need me to meet you?” Mark asked, crossing his arms and trying to hide his nervousness.
Jaemin smiled mischievously for a split second, but then he stood up straighter, his tone firm. “I’m going to help you fix things with Y/N.”
Mark blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
Jaemin exhaled deeply, looking Mark in the eye. “Y/N’s been acting weird. Because you’re avoiding her. And I get it, man. I really do. But you’re hurting her by not talking to her. And she doesn’t deserve that.”
Mark felt a pang in his chest, guilt flooding his mind. “I know, but it’s complicated…”
“Complicated or not,” Jaemin interrupted, “you can’t just leave things like this. You’re her best friend, Mark. You mean everything to her.”
Mark’s throat tightened, his hands trembling slightly. “Why do you care? She’s your girlfriend.”
Jaemin’s expression hardened slightly. “Actually, she’s not. You’d know that if you answered her calls.”
Mark’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “What?”
Jaemin sighed, “Listen man, I like her, I do, but she doesn’t feel the same. We broke up. And now I’ve been trying to help her contact you. You’re hurting her a lot by ignoring her like this.”
Mark groaned, feeling a sense of disbelief that your ex-boyfriend was currently trying to convince him to confess his feelings to you.
Jaemin ignores the clear shock on Mark’s face, pulling out his phone and smirking. “I’ve been talking to Haechan and Chenle. They’re on board with this. We’ve already arranged it. You two are meeting up, whether you like it or not.”
Mark’s eyes widened as he realized Jaemin had masterminded the whole thing. “You… you told them?”
Jaemin gave him a pointed look. “I did. And you’re gonna thank me later.”
Before Mark could protest any further, he heard your voice from behind him. “I’m here.”
Mark turned around, his heart pounding in his chest as he saw you standing there, looking as nervous as he felt.
Jaemin stepped back, a sly grin on his face. “You two figure it out. I’ll leave you to it.”
As Jaemin walked away, Mark stood there, unsure of how to approach the situation. He wanted to run, but Jaemin’s words echoed in his head: You can’t just leave things like this.
You looked at him, eyes filled with uncertainty, and Mark’s heart sank seeing your disheveled state. He had to fix this. And he was going to try, no matter how scared he was.
Mark stood frozen for a moment, staring at you as you approached. His heart hammered in his chest, and all he could think was how easy it would be to turn around and walk away. To just disappear before this moment could get any more uncomfortable. But as much as he wanted to run, he couldn’t. Not when you had been so patient, so understanding—he owed you this conversation.
“Mark,” You called out softly, your voice hesitant but steady.
He exhaled, pushing the thought of escape aside, and turned to face you. You looked just as uncertain as he felt, and it made the guilt rise within him all over again.
You silently walked to a nearby bench, and Mark sat down first, his hands gripping the edge of the seat as if it could anchor him to reality. You sat beside him, her posture stiff, like you were preparing for some awful outcome.
After a long pause, you broke the silence. “Why have you been avoiding me?” you asked, voice a little softer than he expected, clearly you were nervous.
Mark felt his stomach drop, a wave of regret crashing over him. “Y/N, I…” He ran a hand through his hair, avoiding her gaze. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I said that. I just… I was confused. I’ve been confused for a while.”
You frowned, clearly still unsure of where this was going. “Confused about what?”
“I—” He cut himself off, trying to find the right words. He didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to risk ruining their friendship, but there was no other way around it. “I’ve been in love with you, Y/N. For a long time now. And I didn’t know how to deal with it. So, I tried to ignore it.”
Your breath hitched, and you turned your head to look at him, your wide eyes betraying her mask of calmness. “What?”
“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he continued, voice thick with anxiety. “I was afraid that if I told you, you’d never want to talk to me again. And I’ve… I’ve been avoiding you ever since, because I thought if I just stayed away, it would be easier.”
You shook your head slowly, eyes glistening as you processed his words. “Mark… you’re my best friend. You should have told me.”
“I know. I should have,” he muttered, feeling even more ashamed. “I messed up. And then I lashed out at you, and that was stupid.”
You sigh deeply, and then, surprisingly, smile softly at him. “It’s okay, Mark. I get it now. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it, but I was just too scared to admit how I felt.”
Mark’s eyes widened. “Wait, what do you mean?”
“I mean,” you continued, your voice trembling a little, “I’m in love with you, too. I just didn’t want to mess things up, either. I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”
Mark’s heart skipped a beat. He blinked at you, his mind racing to process your confession. “You… you love me?”
You nodded slowly. “Yeah. And I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. I’m sorry I acted the way I did and I’m sorry for always bringing up Jaemin around you, I just—”
Mark could feel the weight of it all crashing down on him. His chest tightened, and the guilt that had been gnawing at him for weeks was replaced by a rush of clarity. He couldn’t let this moment slip away, not after everything the two of you had been through.
Before you could say another word, Mark reached out, cupping your face gently with his hand. He leaned in and kissed you, his lips pressing against yours with a softness that made your heart race.
Your eyes widened in surprise, and you pulled back slightly, voice shaky. “Oh my god.”
Mark chuckled softly, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t wait any longer.”
You blinked, still processing everything. “I… I didn’t expect that.”
Mark smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I wasn’t planning on it either. But I guess it was time for me to stop being an idiot.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “You’re not an idiot, Mark. You’re just… well, maybe a little bit. But I’m glad we’re talking about this now.”
He nodded, his smile growing wider. “Me too. And, uh, I guess we can’t just go back to how things were, right?”
You grinned, your eyes twinkling. “Yeah, I don’t think we can. But I’m okay with that.”
Mark took a deep breath, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “So, what now?”
You thought for a moment before shrugging. “I think we should just… figure it out. We already know each other so well, so maybe it’ll be easy.”
Mark grinned, feeling a warmth spread through him. “Yeah, I think we can make it work.”
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
AUTHOR'S NOTE 𝟅𝟈 omg another fic we cheered. thank u to the like 20 people who like my writing i really appreciate it. lmk if you have any requests pls
masterlist.
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requiemforthepoets · 2 days ago
Text
this time, i’ll love you much better
PAIRING: fernando alonso x ex-wife!reader
SUMMARY: after twelve long years, sofia finally got the chance to meet you, and experienced what it was like to feel the love of a mother.
REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect to the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.
WARNINGS: talk of divorce, typographical errors, not proofread, and twin switching
WORD COUNT: 9.2k
AUTHOR’S NOTE: part 2! this whole chapter focuses on you and sofia’s bonding or sofia getting to know you more. tag list is open for this series, just leave a comment or you can message me directly. your reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. hope you’ll enjoy this second part of the series!
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TWO - SINGAPORE
𖤓 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 ☽
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The car smoothly glided down the driveway, passing rows of stately mansions in Nassim Road, each grander than the last. Sofia leaned her head against the window, her heart pounding as the cityscape of Singapore blurred by, until the sleek black car came to a halt in front of a mansion that seemed to belong more to a dream than reality. The house stood tall, regal, with sprawling gardens that framed the entrance like something straight out of a fairytale. Tall columns stretched up toward the sky, and the front door gleamed in the afternoon light, welcoming her, or rather, welcoming Jullianna, home.
Sofia blinked, taking it all in. She could not help but marvel in awe at the elegance of the estate, the manicured lawns, and the sense of quiet luxury that surrounded it. It was overwhelming in the best way, yet also strangely so foreign. This was your world, and it felt like she was about to step into an unfamiliar territory, something foreign that did not quite belong to her, yet it was.
The driver opened the door, and Sofia slid out, her fingers brushing the sleek fabric of her outfit as she caught sight of Martin, the major-domo that she instantly recognized in Jullianna’s chart, was already making his way to the trunk. He was swift and efficient, unloading her luggage with precision. As he lifted her suitcase, Sofia noticed the faint look of recognition on his face, though it was quickly masked with a polite smile as he greeted her.
“Welcome home, Miss Jullianna.” Martin said, tone respectful but warm.
“Thank you.” Sofia replied, trying her best to keep her voice steady, mimicking Jullianna’s mannerisms as best as she could.
The name Jullianna sounded so foreign in her mouth, but it was becoming natural as she slipped further into the role. Her heart pounded in her chest as she followed Martin up the entrance, Sofia’s gaze lingering on the ornate details of the house. The front steps were wide, leading up to an intricately carved door, and as Sofia entered, she could almost feel the weight of all the eyes that must have admired this mansion in the past. With each step she felt like it carried her close to something significant—closer to you.
Martin opened the door smoothly, and Sofia stepped inside. The foyer before her was vast and sun-filled, with high ceilings that seemed to stretch endlessly. Marble floors gleamed beneath her feet, their polished surface reflecting the soft light that poured in through large windows. Sofia paused for a moment to take in the grandeur of it all, the house felt immense, each corner more beautiful than the last. There were towering columns lining the space, delicate chandeliers hanging overhead, their crystal pendants glinting as they caught the sunlight.
Sofia’s eyes were drawn to the walls, which were adorned with expertly framed photographs, each one carefully placed to tell a story of the family within. Her breath caught as she saw the portraits of Jullianna, some with her as a little girl, others of her dressed in elegant gowns at galas, always smiling, and always poised. Then there were the more professional shots—covers of Tatler Asia, Harper’s Bazaar, and Vogue, with you gracing the glossy pages, each picture exuding an effortless grace.
But the one that caught her attention the most was the grand portrait in the center of the room. It was you and Jullianna, a moment frozen in time, with the both of you dressed in high-end fashion, your faces glowing with affection. Sofia couldn’t help but stare at it, her eyes tracing the lines of your face, and with how you held Jullianna close, the bond between you was very evident, and it made her chest tighten.
Sofia was so lost in thought, absorbing these fragments of life she had never lived, that she didn’t hear the sound of footsteps descending the grand staircase behind her.
“Jullianna!” Your voice called out, warm and delighted.
Sofia froze for a moment, the sound of her name—Jullianna’s name, breaking through her thoughts. She turned around, and there you were, walking down the marble staircase with a radiant smile on your face.
The sight of you stunned Sofia. You were more beautiful than any photograph could have captured. Graceful and poised, yet full of life, you seemed almost ethereal as the sunlight streaming through the windows cast a soft glow around you. Sofia’s breath caught in her throat as tears immediately pricked her eyes. She could not believe it, she was finally seeing you—not just in the photos, or stories that Jullianna had shared, but in real life. In the flesh.
“Oh, my darling girl!” You said, brimming with emotions, with outstretched arms as you hurried towards her.
Sofia moved toward you instinctively, meeting you halfway as you enveloped her in a warm hug. The moment your arms wrapped around her, she felt her resolve begin to crumble. She blinked rapidly, but it was no use. The tears were already spilling down her cheeks.
“I missed you so much.” Sofia whispered, her voice trembling as she buried her face in your shoulder.
You pulled back slightly, just enough to get a good look at her, and your expression shifted from happiness to surprise as you took in her brand new appearance. Your hands rested gently on her shoulders as you studied her closely.
“Your hair,” you said, eyes wide with astonishment. “It’s short! It looks so good on you!”
“I met someone at camp who cuts hair,” she said, managing a watery smile, her hand brushing self-consciously over the ends of her freshly cropped hair. “Do you hate it?”
“Hate it?” You repeated, shaking your head with a laugh. “Darling, it suits you beautifully. I think it makes you look so grown-up.”
“Wait a second,” you leaned in closer, inspecting her ears. “Are those piercings I see? Since when?”
Sofia’s fingers instinctively flew to her earlobes, which were now adorned with delicate studs. “Um, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing at camp. Do you hate those?”
You laughed softly, shaking your head again. “No, no. It’s just my Jullianna, afraid of needles? I can’t believe you went through with it.”
“No more surprises, I promise.” She chuckled nervously, feeling the weight of your gaze as you took her in, still marveling at the changes.
But your expression softened as you noticed the tears still glistening in her eyes. You knelt down to her level, cupping Sofia’s face gently in your hands.
“What’s wrong, my love?” You asked, your voice low and soothing. With your thumbs, you wiped away a stray tear that had slipped down her cheek. “Why are you crying?”
Sofia’s bottom lip trembled slightly, and for a moment, she hesitated, really unsure how to explain the emotions surging within her.
“It’s just…happy tears,” she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I missed you so much. It feels like it’s been forever.”
“Oh, my sweet girl.” You murmured, pulling her close again, and pressing a tender kiss to her temple. “I missed you too. But you’re home now, and that’s all that matters.”
Sofia clung to you tightly, her eyes closed as she tried to commit the moment to memory. For so long, she had dreamed about this, what it would be like to meet you, to feel your embrace. Now that it was finally happening, it felt both overwhelming and comforting all at once. You stood up and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Come, let’s sit and catch up. I want to hear all about camp.” You said, tone full of curiosity and warmth.
You and Sofia sat together in the sun-dappled room, it is the room where you always retreat to whenever you need time to breathe when things tend to get overwhelming. The warm light was spilling through the large bay windows and casting a soft glow over the space. Sofia, seated on the plush velvet armchair across from you, couldn’t help but marvel at how effortlessly elegant everything was, from the carefully arranged floral centerpieces to the soft ticking of the antique clock on the mantel. This was the kind of life she had only seen in movies, and now, she was here, living it, even if just for a little while.
You poured tea into a delicate porcelain cup, the soft clinking of the silver spoon against the cup filling the air as you stirred in a bit of honey.
“So, tell me, darling,” you began, voice soft yet curious. “How was summer camp, did you enjoy it as much as you hoped you would?”
“I loved it,” Sofia said with a radiant smile that mirrored Jullianna’s perfectly. “It was so much fun. I didn’t think I’d like it this much, but it was even better that I expected.”
You leaned forward slightly, your eyes lighting up with relief and excitement. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear that! I was a little worried, you know. It was your first time going away for so long, and I wasn’t sure how you would manage being away from home.”
Sofia nodded, playing along so effortlessly. “Well, it was definitely a bit scary at first, but everyone was so welcoming. I made a lot of friends.”
“Did you like everyone there?” You asked, your tone gently probing.
“Yes, everyone was really really nice,” she said, voice laced with enthusiasm. “I even met a girl, she’s from Spain.”
You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly. “Spain? My goodness, that’s quite far. I hope her parents didn’t mind sending her all the way there for camp.”
“Oh, they didn’t mind,” she assured you quickly. “She’s been going to Camp Walden since she was ten, so it’s kind of like a tradition for her.”
Your eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Since she was ten? That’s incredible! She must really love it there.”
“She does,” Sofia replied, nodding earnestly. “She told me all about how much she looks forward to it every year. She even showed me some pictures from past summers, she’s made so many memories there.”
You smiled, clearly touched by the story. “That’s wonderful, Lia. You know, I’m so happy you made such a lovely friend. It sounds like camp was a great experience for you.”
Sofia felt a pang of guilt in her chest but quickly pushed it aside. She could feel your pride in her, or rather, in Jullianna—and she did not want to ruin this moment.
“It really was,” she said softly, looking down at her hands. “Thank you for letting me go. I know you were hesitant in sending me to summer camp, but it was one of the best memories that I’ve made.”
“I’m really proud of you, darling,” you said, voice warm and full of affection, and reaching out, placing a gentle hand over hers. “It’s not always easy to try something new, especially something that takes you out of your comfort zone. But look at you! You’ve come back with wonderful stories and new friends. I’m so glad I agreed on Camp Walden, it sounds like it was just what you needed.”
Her heart swelled at your words. It was strange, hearing you call her darling, feeling the warmth of your hand over hers. Sofia had never experienced this before, this maternal tenderness, yeah sure, she always had a nanny growing up, but this one was different, and it made her feel a little sad. She wanted to soak in every moment, to etch every word and gesture into her memory.
“Thanks, Mama,” she said quietly, the word feeling foreign yet oddly right on her tongue. She looked up at you, he eyes glistening with emotion. “That really means a lot.”
You tilted your head, studying her for a moment, and asked her gently. “Are you alright, sweetheart? You seem…a little emotional.”
“I’m just…happy,” she admitted, swallowing hard, willing herself not to cry. “It’s been a while since I felt this happy.”
“Oh, my love,” you murmured as you squeezed her hand reassuringly. “That’s all I ever want for you, to be happy, and if camp helped you find a little more of that, then I couldn’t be more thrilled.”
Sofia smiled through the tears that threatened to spill over. For the first time in her life, she felt what it was like to truly have a mother, and she wanted to hold on to this feeling forever.
“I don’t want this to end.” she whispered to herself, the words echoing in her mind like a quiet prayer.
“Are you sure you’re really okay, darling?” You asked again, tone laced with concern.
“I’m okay,” Sofia said, her voice steady this time. “Really. I just missed you so much.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” you said softly, pulling her into a warm embrace. The simplicity of her words caught you off guard. “I missed you too. More than you can imagine.”
As Sofia rested her head against your shoulder, she closed her eyes, wishing this moment could stretch on forever. For the first time, she felt like she truly belonged.
The quiet rhythm of the room settled over you, you both sat in the living room, the warm silence punctuated by the occasional rustle of the breeze brushing against the windows. For you, these silences were familiar. Jullianna—your Jullianna, often fell into these comfortable quiet moments, lost in thought or simply content to sit beside you.
But this silence was different for Sofia. She found herself reveling in it, soaking up the warmth of a moment she had longed for her entire life. She shifted slightly in her seat, glancing toward you.
“Have you ever been to Spain, Mama?” She asked suddenly, he voice soft but curious.
“Spain?” You repeated, the word rolling off your tongue with an air of nostalgia you did not intend to show.
A rush of memories, long buried, flooded back without any warning—memories of warm Spanish evenings, laughter mingled with the crash of waves, and Fernando’s voice, full of excitement as he guided you through his homeland. You pushed the thoughts away as quickly as they came, sitting a little straighter in your seat.
“Yes. A long time ago, before you were born.” You said quickly, tone even, and offering a small smile. “Why do you ask?”
She hesitated for a moment, studying your face. Sofia could see the flicker of something, something wistful, maybe even a little painful, but she decided not to push.
“I was just curious.” She said simply, giving a small shrug.
“Well,” you said, your tone lightened as you leaned forward slightly. “Speaking of things from the past, there’s something we need to talk about that’s coming up very soon—your birthday!”
“My birthday?” She echoed, tilting her head. She was caught off guard by the sudden shift in the conversation. “But it’s still a month away.”
“Exactly!” You replied with a soft laugh, your eyes sparkling with excitement. “It’s still a month away, which means we need to start planning now. You know how quickly the days go by, and I want it to be perfect for you. Whatever you want to do, it’s your day, and we’ll make it happen.”
Sofia blinked again, her heart suddenly heavy with an unfamiliar ache. The way you spoke, with such earnestness and love, caught her off guard. She was not used to this—this kind of anticipation, this kind of care. She glanced down at her hands, fiddling nervously with the hem of her clothes.
“I…I don’t know yet,” she admitted quietly. “I haven’t really thought about it.”
“That’s okay, sweetheart,” you said softly. “You don’t have to decide right now. But I want you to know that whatever you want, we’ll make it happen. A party, a quiet day just for the two of us, a trip, just whatever your heart desires. It’s your special day, and I want you to enjoy it.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “That means a lot.”
You squeezed her hand gently, your thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Of course, darling. You’re my world, and I want to celebrate every moment we have together. Just let me know when you’ve decided, okay?”
“I will, Mama.” Sofia whispered.
True to your word, you had cleared your schedule for the day to make time for Sofia, but you could not cancel this one commitment. As you gathered your things by the foyer, you turned to Sofia with a smile.
“I really tried to cancel this too, but it’s for Tatler Asia, and they were so insistent. I hope you don’t mind tagging along.” You said warmly.
Sofia shook her hear quickly, her face lighting up. “Are you kidding? Of course I’d love to come, Mama.”
You raised an eyebrow, laughing softly. “Well, I’m glad you’re excited. Let’s make it a fun day, then. Just us girls.”
The family driver pulled up to the front, and soon the two of you were on your way to the photoshoot venue. The drive to the venue was quiet but comfortable, with the air filled with the unspoken warmth of having reconnected. Sofia gazed out of the window, watching the city buzz with life, but her thoughts were elsewhere. She still could not believe she was here, sitting beside you, going with you to a real photoshoot.
This was a world she had never seen before, and the excitement bubbled inside her like a secret she could not contain. As the car pulled up to the venue, Sofia’s eye widened at the sight of the gran building in front of her. The polished exterior gleamed in the afternoon sun, and the large glass doors reflected the bustling activity inside. Everything felt so glamorous, so different from her life in Spain. She glanced over at you as you instructed the family driver.
“Thank you, James,” you said with a polite smile. “You can head home now. We’ll be walking around the city right after and taking the taxi home later.”
James nodded and gave you a small bow before driving off. Sofia looked at you with a mix of Surprise and curiosity.
“We’re walking?” She asked, voice tinged with amusement.
“Sometimes, it’s nice to just walk. No schedules, no rush, just taking in the beauty the city has to offer.” You smiled warmly at her. Sofia nodded, her heart swelling at how grounded and graceful you were despite your glamorous life.
Inside, the studio was a hive of activity. The smell of hairspray and perfume hung in the air, blending with the faint hum of conversation and occasional clutter of equipment. Staff members hurried past, some carrying garment bags, others adjusting camera gears. The energy was infectious, and Sofia found herself wide-eyed, taking in every detail. When you stepped inside, a stylist approached you, clipboard in hand.
“You’re just in time,” she said, ushering you towards the back. “We’re ready for you in hair and makeup.”
You glanced at Sofia, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, leading her through the bustling crowd. “Come with me.”
In the makeup area, you settled into a high-backed chair as a team of stylists swarmed around you, discussing everything from your hair to the gown that you would be wearing for the photoshoot. Your assistant, a petite woman in her late 20s, with a sharp bob and an even sharper memory, appeared at your side, iPad in hand.
“Good day,” she greeted with a bright smile. “You look stunning already, as always.”
“Good day, Camille,” you replied, returning her smile. “Let’s hear it, what does the rest of my week look like?”
Camille began rattling off your schedule, her tone brisk yet pleasant. “After today’s shoot, you’re free for the rest of the day. But tomorrow, you have fittings for the New York Fashion Week—Versace and Valentino. Thursday is the campaign shoot for Dior, followed by a meeting with YSL, and lastly, Saturday is the charity luncheon at the Ritz.”
As she spoke, Sofia listened intently, trying to absorb every little detail. Camille suddenly turned to her, her face lighting up at the sight of Sofia.
“And Jullianna! It’s so good to see you again,” Camille said warmly. “It’s been a while since you came along to one of these, I’ve missed having you around.”
Sofia blinked, like a deer caught in the headlights, but managed to recover quickly. She returned the smile, her mind racing.
So, Jullianna usually comes to these things?
“It’s good to see you too, Camille,” Sofia said, her voice steady. “I’ve missed coming with Mama. It’s been a very busy summer for me. You know, summer camp and all.”
Camille nodded, clearly pleased. “I’ve been told. Well, you’re always such a delight to have around. Your mom lights up even more when you’re here.”
Sofia nodded, unsure of how to respond but touched by the sentiment. “I’m happy to be back, honestly, and it wasn’t a lie.”
You glanced at Sofia through the mirror, noticing how she was quietly observing everything. “She was very excited to come with me today, I’m glad she’s back again.”
Camille smiled. “You two are always such a team.”
Sofia felt a pang in her chest at those words. She glanced down, her fingers brushing over the hem of her skirt as she tried to process the unexpected emotions rising within her.
You reached out and gently touched her arm. “Are you alright, darling?”
She looked up and nodded quickly, giving you a small smile. “I’m fine. Everything just feels so exciting.”
“I’m glad you’re here with me. It’s a little chaotic, but it’s also wonderful, isn’t it?” You smiled at her, eyes softening.
Sofia nodded again, her smiling growing. “It really is.”
The stylists gave your hair one last spritz of hairspray and made minor adjustments to the hem of your gown before stepping back. Your final look was stunning, and you took a moment to admire yourself in front of the floor length mirror, running your hands gently down the shimmering fabric. Turning towards Sofia, you gave her a playful smile.
“So,” you said, spinning in place. “What do you think? Is it too much? Too over the top?”
“No way!” She exclaimed, her voice full of awe. “You look amazing, Mama! Really, really beautiful.”
You chuckled at her enthusiasm, stopping mid-spin to face her. “You sure? I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.”
“Are you kidding? You look perfect!” Sofia said with conviction, her admiration shining through every word. She leaned forward in her seat, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “Seriously, you’re like…a queen of something.”
The photographer called out, signaling that the photoshoot was about to begin. You blew a quick kiss to Sofia before stepping into position. The backdrop was a blend of muted grays and soft metallics, designed to compliment your gown. As the lights were adjusted and the photographer gave instructions, Sofia watched you in complete fascination. Every pose you struck, every subtle shift in expression, left her star struck.
“She’s so so cool. I can't believe she’s my Mama.” She whispered to herself and smiled as she leaned back on her chair.
Halfway through the shoot, the photographer suggested a more candid, relaxed pose. You turned to Sofia, an idea sparking in your mind,
“Come here, sweetheart.” You said as you extended your hand to her.
Sofia blinked, pointing at herself. “Me? Now?”
“Yes, you!” You said with a laugh. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
Hesitant but intrigued, Sofia stood up and approached you. She looked out of place in her casual outfit compared to your glamorous attire, but the contrast made the moment all the more genuine.
You placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close, whispering softly. “Just be yourself, okay?”
The photographer, already adjusting his camera, grinned. “This is perfect! Just keep talking to each other, forget that the camera is even here.”
You started joking with Sofia, recounting a funny memory from one of your past photoshoots. Sofia couldn’t help but laugh, her nerves easing as she leaned into you. Before long, the two of you were caught up in an impromptu moment—laughing, smiling, and even pulling silly faces. At one point, you pretended to teach her how to pose, guiding her arm into an exaggerated fashion stance that made the both of you burst into laughter. The photographer snapped away, capturing every genuine smile.
“Beautiful!” He said, nodding approvingly. “Absolutely beautiful.”
When the session wrapped, you turned to the photographer, still holding Sofia close. “Can I request something? Could you email me all of these candid shots? I want them framed, every single one.”
“Of course,” the photographer replied, clearly charmed by the two of you. “I’ll make sure you get them by the end of the day.”
Sofia looked up at you, her face glowing. “You’re really going to frame them?”
“Absolutely,” you said without hesitation. “They’re perfect. I’ll put them right in the hallway with the rest of our photos. What do you think?”
She nodded eagerly, a rare lump forming in her throat. “I think that’s…really nice.”
You then changed back into your everyday clothes, a chic yet understated outfit that looked impossibly elegant. Before leaving, you took a moment to thank every member of the crew.
“Wonderful job, as always,” you said warmly. “I really appreciate all your hard work.”
“I’ll email you the final documents for the new endorsements this evening,” Camille said efficiently as she caught up with you. “And I’ll also send over your finalized schedule for the New York Fashion Week.”
“Thank you, Camille,” you replied and grabbed your things. “Let me know if something else comes up.”
The sun was warm but not overwhelming as you and Sofia strolled through the bustling streets in the afternoon towards Paragon. The city was alive with energy, cars humming, scent of fresh coffee wafting from nearby cafés, and the occasional breeze rustling through the trees that lined the sidewalks. You slipped your arms around Sofia’s shoulder, drawing her close as the two of you walked side by side.
“Mama,” she began hesitantly, “have you ever thought about getting married again?”
The question had caught you off guard, and you stopped mid-step, turning to face her with an incredulous expression.
“Now where did that come from?” You asked. Laughing lightly, though there was a hint of nervousness in your tone.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “You looked so beautiful in that gown during the photoshoot, it just made me wonder. I mean, you’d look amazing as a bride. Like, really really amazing.”
“Are you imagining me walking down the aisle again?” You teased, a playful smile tugging at your lips.
Sofia hesitated, then ventured further. “Not exactly, but it also made me wonder what kind of gown you wore. You know, the first time.”
“Oh?” You said, raising a brow. “Why the curiosity about your father?”
“Because you’ve never really talked about him,” she said softly as she looked up at you. “Not once, and well, I guess I can’t help but wonder.”
You sighed, the weight of her question settling over you like a delicate cloud. Before you could answer, your eyes caught sight of a stunning dress displayed in a boutique window up ahead, its elegant silhouette shimmering under the soft glow of the lights. You instinctively reached out to tug Sofia’s arm, pointing towards the window.
“Oh, look at that dress,” you said, voice lighter as you momentarily shifted focus. “Isn’t it stunning?”
Sofia blinked at you, her question hanging in the air as you walked closer to the boutique window. She gave a small, exasperated sigh, realizing what you were doing.
“Mama,” she said firmly but respectfully, stopping you in your tracks. When you turned to face her, her expression was a mix of determination and understanding. “You can’t avoid the topic forever.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but the look in her eyes stopped you. It was not confrontational or accusing, it was patient and curious. Sighing again, this time deeper, you nodded.
“Alright,” you relented, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “What do you want to know?”
“What was he like?” Sofia asked immediately, tone soft but eager. She already knew what Fernando is like, but she wanted to hear it coming from you.
“Well, he was a lovely man. Very lovely,” you said, lips curled into a small smile, nostalgic smile as you thought about him. “Charming in his own way. He had this…presence about him that could light up a room.”
“Did you meet him here? In Singapore?” Sofia pressed.
“No,” you said as you shook your head. “I met him in London, during the British Grand Prix in Silverstone.”
Sofia’s brows furrowed slightly in surprise. Grand Prix was basically her whole life. “The Grand Prix? What were you doing there?”
“Because of your grandpa,” you explained, “your grandpapa was one of the major sponsors of the race that year. He insisted I accompany him to the event, it wasn’t really my scene back then, but he had his reasons for wanting me there.”
Just then, you reached the doors of a quaint little café tucked away from the main bustle of Paragon. Its inviting atmosphere beckoned, and you instinctively led Sofia inside. The two of you found a cozy corner table near a window, the gentle hum of conversation and the soft clinking of cups creating a warm background noise.
Once seated, you ordered drinks, an iced latte for yourself and a hot chocolate for Sofia, a few pastries as well. The server left with a polite nod, and Sofia turned her full attention back to you, her curiosity far from satisfied.
“So,” she said, leaning her elbows on the table, her chin resting on her hands. “What happened next?”
You raised a brow at her, a small smile playing on your lips. “You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”
She grinned cheekily, shaking her head. “Not a chance.”
“Alright, alright,” you said, chuckling and shaking your head at her persistence. “It’s quite a story.”
Sofia leaned forward slightly, her excitement evident. “Take your time, Mama. I want to hear everything.”
Your drinks had already been served at your table, and the hum of the café enveloped you and Sofia as you settled comfortably into your chairs, the delicate aroma of the fresh pastries mingling with the scent of coffee. Your iced latte and her steaming hot chocolate sat untouched between you, but neither of you seemed to notice. The weight of your ongoing conversation carried a different kind of warmth, one that softened the atmosphere between you.
“It’s funny,” you began, the corners of your lips curling into a small smile, “I wasn’t even supposed to leave your grandpapa’s side. He made it very clear that day I was to stay in the paddock with him, but I got bored and decided to wander around, and somehow, I got lost.” You chuckled softly at the memory.
“You? Lost?” She asked, her eyes wide with amusement, and tone teasing but affectionate. “I thought you were always composed and knew your way around everywhere.”
“Oh, how I wish,” you replied with a laugh. “Silverstone is a maze, especially when it’s packed, and I didn’t know a single soul. I was looking around, trying to figure out where I was supposed to go, and then I bumped right into him.”
“Papa?” She asked, voice tinged with excitement.
You nodded. “Yes. I nearly knocked the drink he was holding out of his hand. I was so flustered, apologizing left and right, and he just stood there, smiling at me.”
“Smiling, huh.” She smiled, trying to picture the moment.
“Yes,” you said, your gaze softening. “That smile of his, it was so warm and easy going. He looked at me like we had known each other forever, and then he introduced himself, as if I didn’t already know who he was from the posters around the paddock.”
Sofia giggled, clearly amused. “What did you say? Did you fangirl or something?”
You shook your head, laughing at the thought. “No, no. I was too embarrassed to even react. I just said, ‘I’m so sorry,’ and tried to walk away, but he stopped me, asked me if I was lost, and when I said yes, he offered to help.”
Sofia tilted her head thoughtfully. “So, what happened next?”
“We spent the rest of the day together,” you said, tone quieter now as you trace the lid of your drink. “He showed me around, introduced me to some of his team, and even made sure I found your grandpapa again. But by the time he brought me back, I didn’t want the day to end.”
Sofia studied you for a moment, then asked. “Was it love at first sight?”
“I knew you’d ask me that someday, you cheeky little girl!” You laughed and gave her a knowing look. “But yes, it was indeed love at first sight.”
Sofia grinned, clearly delighted by your response. “Well, I mean I can’t blame you, Papa is very handsome.”
“He was more than just being a handsome man,” you admitted. “He was kind, charming, and so full of life. It was impossible not to be drawn to him.”
Sofia leaned her chin on her hand, watching you intently. “So, what happened after that? Did you live together?”
You nodded, your expression thoughtful. “Yes. Your Papa was from Spain, and after a few months of dating, we decided to take the next step. I made the biggest decision of my life, I moved to Spain to be with him.”
“Wow,” Sofia breathed, her eyes wide with admiration. “That’s huge. You just packed up and left?”
“Pretty much,” you replied with a soft laugh. “I uprooted my life. Wherever he went, I went. It wasn’t easy leaving everything behind—your grandpapa, and my friends, but it felt so right. Home wasn’t a place anymore, it was wherever he was.”
She hesitated for a moment before asking. “And then what?”
“Three days after I moved in with him, he proposed.” Your smile widened as you remembered.
“What?!” Sofia’s jaw dropped. “Three days?!” She was shocked, and unfamiliar with Fernando’s game.
You laughed, nodding. “Three days. He said he didn’t want to wait any longer, and honestly? Neither did I. We got married not long after that, and then, we had you.”
Sofia’s expression softened, and she looked down at her hot chocolate, stirring it absentmindedly. “That’s…amazing. It sounds like a complete fairytale.”
“It felt like one,” you admitted, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “And you were the best part of it.”
All your life, you always try to avoid talking about Fernando with your daughter. It was the most painful memory for you, but your daughter was right, you can’t avoid talking about it forever, evading or making so many excuses as to why you can’t talk about Fernando. Especially now that your daughter is already grown up, she deserves to know about her father. It will be very selfish of you if you keep on avoiding it.
“But you know, being married isn’t always what the movies make it out to be,” you said, your voice calm but tinged with a hint of sadness. “It’s not all rainbows and sunshine, no matter how much you love someone.”
“What do you mean, Mama?” She asked, tone gentle but eager to understand.
You laced your fingers together on the table, your gaze drifting for a moment, as if the memories were replaying in front of you.
“Your Papa and I, we had a wonderful start. The kind of love that people dream about. But life has a way of testing even the strongest bonds.” You paused, meeting her gaze. “Both of us had demanding careers. My career wasn’t exactly stationary, I was always flying to another country for events, galas, photoshoots, and your Papa, he was flying all over the world for races.”
“It felt like we were always moving but never in the same direction. We were always missing each other’s milestones, each other’s days. We tried to hold on, we really did.”
“What did you do?” Sofia asked softly, her voice tinged with concern.
You sighed, leaning forward slightly as you rested your elbows on the table. “We tried everything we could think of. Marriage counseling, for one. We sat in those sessions and poured our hearts out, hoping that somehow, talking through everything would bring us closer again.”
“Did it help?” Sofia asked cautiously, as if she were afraid of the answer.
“For a little while,” you admitted. “It gave us the tools to communicate better, to understand each other’s needs and frustrations. But it wasn’t enough, there was just too much distance, literal and emotional.”
Her expression softened, and she traced her finger along the rim of her cup. “That must’ve been really hard.”
“It was, and after counseling didn’t work, we tried going away on a trip. We thought that maybe if we stepped away from everything—work, schedules, the stress, it would help. A beautiful place, with just the two of us, no distractions. It was nice, but…” you shook your head slightly, a wistful smile playing on your lips. “You can’t expect a trip to fix something that’s broken.”
You sat up straighter, your tone steady despite the heaviness of the memory. “We realized we were holding onto something that wasn’t working anymore. We still cared about each other deeply, but the truth was, we weren’t as compatible as we thought we’d be, and before things got worse, we made the hardest decision we could make.”
Sofia’s eyes glimmered with understanding, though a hint of sadness lingered in her expression. “You decided to let go.”
“Yes,” you replied quietly. “We decided to put a stop to it before we hurt each other more. It was mutual, we both knew that it was the right thing to do, even if it was painful. Sometimes love isn’t enough to make a marriage work.”
“That must’ve been really hard for you,” she said softly, reaching across the table to place her hand over yours. “For both you and Papa.”
“It was,” you admitted, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “But we did what we thought was best for everyone involved, and even though things didn’t work out between us, there was one thing we always agreed on.”
Sofia tilted her head, her curiosity evident. “What’s that?”
“That you were the best thing to ever come out of our time together,” you said with a small smile. “We both loved you more than anything in the world. That never changed.”
“I’m glad that you told me, Mama,” she said after a moment, lips curved into a faint smile, and she looked down at your intertwined hands. “I’ve always wondered, and it makes sense now.”
“I’m glad you asked,” you said softly. “I know that it’s not the fairytale story that most people hope for, but it’s ours, and I’m glad that you know.”
The hours in the café passed by so fast, with the two of you lost in conversation. Occasionally, someone would approach you, their voice tinged with both awe and respect as they asked for a photo. You always obliged with a warm smile, and Sofia watched quietly, her gaze filled with mixture of admiration and curiosity. Once, a woman gushed about how lovely it was to see you out with your daughter, her compliment bringing a soft smile to Sofia’s face.
“Do you get tired of it?” She asked softly as you sat back down.
“Of what?” You replied, reaching for your drink.
“People stopping you everywhere.” She tilted her head slightly, observing you as though trying to decipher your thoughts.
“Not really. I’m grateful for their kindness. Besides,” You said, offering her a gentle smile, and gesturing between the two of you. “Moments like this are far more important to me.”
Her lips curved into a faint smile, and she dropped her gaze to the table. “I like this too.”
When the café began to empty and the staff subtly started cleaning up for the night, you leaned back in your chair, glancing at your watch and sighed contentedly.
“I think we’ve been here for long enough,” you said. “It’s already getting late, and we should probably head back.”
“What about the shopping spree?” Sofia asked, her tone hesitant.
You reached over, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. “We’ll do it tomorrow, after my fittings. I promised you, didn’t I?”
“But you’ll be tired,” she reasoned, her voice soft with concern, but firm. “I don’t want you to overdo it.”
You smiled warmly at her, leaning forward to rest your elbows on the table. “Sweetheart, I’m never too tired for you. If I was, I wouldn’t have promised. You’re my priority.”
“Okay.” She murmured, looking down on her empty cup, still sounding unsure.
“Hey,” you said, reaching across the table to gently take her hand. “It’s not a big deal. I love spending time with you, and besides, I want to spoil you.” You added with a wink.
Sofia let out a soft laugh at that, finally meeting your eyes. “Alright, but only if you’re really sure.”
“Absolutely,” you said with conviction, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
By the time you stepped outside, the sky had turned into a deep shade of navy, the city illuminated by the glow of streetlights and neon signs. The streets were alive with energy, people bustling about, and the faint hum of conversations blending with the occasional honk of a car horn.
As you walked side by side, you instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. Sofia didn’t resist, leaning into your touch as the two of you strolled through the vibrant cityscape.
“Singapore at night is something else.” She said softly, her eyes flicking from the lights above to the people around.
“It really is,” you agreed, your gaze sweeping over the bustling streets. “Years of living here with you and it is still one of my favorite things about being here, how alive everything feels, no matter the hour.”
She nodded, her expression thoughtful. “It’s beautiful.”
The two if you continued in companionable silence, your steps unhurried. You glanced at her occasionally, your heart swelling with affection at how relaxed and eased she seemed. Spotting an available taxi, you raised your hand to hail it, guiding her gently toward the curb. The car pulled up smoothly, and you opened the door for her, gesturing to her to get in first.
“In you go, darling.” you said as you put your hand over her head.
“Thank you.” She said quietly, sliding into the backseat.
You followed, settling in beside her, greeting the driver, and giving him your address. As the car began to move, you leaned back against the seat, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. Sofia, whom you believed to be Jullianna, shifted closer, resting her head lightly against your shoulder.
“You’re really not tired?” She asked after a moment, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Not at all,” you replied, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Spending time with you will always be the best part of my day.”
Sofia didn’t say anything, but you felt her body relax against you, her hand slipping into yours. The quiet hum of the taxi and the soft glow of the city outside made the moment feel almost dreamlike, a perfect ending to a perfect day.
When the taxi pulled up to the house, the golden lights from the grand windows spilled out onto the driveway, casting a warm and welcoming glow. As you and Sofia stepped out, the heavy front doors swung open, Martin greeted you with a slight bow.
“Good evening, madame. Welcome home.” He said, voice calm and measured as always. Behind him, a few housekeepers stood ready, their smiles polite but genuine.
“Thank you, Martin,” you said, offering a smile as you removed your heels and put them on the rack, changing into your indoor slippers. “It’s good to be back.”
Sofia stood slightly behind you, still taking in the familiar grandeur of the house, standing here still felt surreal for her. The subtle hum of efficiency in the house was comforting yet intimidating.
One of the housekeepers stepped forward and spoke gently. “Madame, all of Miss Jullianna’s laundry from camp has been taken care of and put away.”
“Thank you so much,” you turned to her with a grateful expression. “I really appreciate it, I hope it wasn’t quite the task.”
The housekeeper smiled, shaking her head modestly. “Not at all, madame. We’re happy to help.”
You then turned to Sofia, who had been quietly observing, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Shweetheart, it’s getting late. Go ahead and get ready for bed, alright?”
Sofia froze momentarily, panic bubbling beneath her composed exterior. Where’s Jullianna’s room? The floor plan Jullianna had shown her briefly flashed in her mind, but the details were hazy. Upstairs, she was certain of it, the bedroom was upstairs. That much she remembered.
“Uh, okay!” Sofia said quickly, her voice an octave higher than usual. She gave you a quick kiss on the cheeks, and stepped back, addressing everyone as she spoke. “Good night!”
She turned on her heel and started towards the staircase, her movements quick and almost robotic. You watched her with a bemused smile, tilting your head slightly.
“Goodnight, darling!” You called after her, shaking your head lightly. “She must be exhausted.” You murmured to Martin, who gave a small nod in agreement.
“Understandable, madame,” Martin said smoothly. “It had been quite a long day for her.”
You chuckled softly and made your way toward the sitting room, while Sofia darted up the staircase with determination.
As Sofia reached the landing, she slowed her pace, looking back just in case Martin or a housekeeper had followed her. Her eyes darting to the left and right, the hallways stretched out in both directions, doors lining either side, each one identical to the next.
Which one is hers?
She hesitated for a moment, checking again as glancing over the bannister to ensure no one was watching. Then, she steeled herself and chose a direction at random, heading down the hall with feigned confidence.
If I just open doors discreetly, I’ll figure it out…hopefully.
She stopped in front of the first door, her hand hovering over the knob. Taking a deep breath, she slowly twisted it and peeked inside. The room was dark, but from what little she could see, it didn’t look lived-in. Definitely not Jullianna’s. Quickly closing the door, she moved to the next one, her heart racing slightly faster.
Come on, it has to be one of these.
By sheer luck, or perhaps Jullianna’s divine intervention, the next door she opened revealed a room that looked distinctly like Jullianna’s. The walls were adorned with personal touches—framed photos, art pieces, and trophies from school competitions. Sofia exhaled deeply, relief flooding through her as she stepped inside and gently closed the door behind her.
“Finally,” she whispered to herself, leaning back against the door for a moment.
Her gaze swept over the room, and a small smile tugged at her lips. This is where she lives, where she sleeps. As Sofia settled herself into Jullianna’s room, she couldn’t help but marvel at the sheer size and elegance of it.
The room felt like something out of a luxury magazine, spacious, meticulously organized, and exuding a quiet sophistication that perfectly encapsulated Jullianna’s personality. Curiosity tugged at her as she wandered over to one of the doors on the side of the room. That’s probably just the bathroom, she thought, twisting the handles. Her jaw dropped.
It was not just a bathroom, it was a walk-in closet. A massive walk-in closet. Rows upon rows of clothes hung neatly on gold-accented racks, organized by color, season, and occasion. Everything was pristine, almost as though no one ever touched anything. Beneath the racks were drawers labeled with words like scarves, belts, and hats.
“What in the world…” Sofia muttered under her breath, stepping further inside.
Her fingers trailed lightly over the fabrics, feeling the silks, cottons, and other materials she could not even identify. Sofia’s gaze moved up to the shelves where dozens of handbags sat like prized trophies, each one gleaming under the soft, warm lighting.
Then her eyes fell to the section dedicated entirely to sleepwear—rows of satin and cotton pajamas, all perfectly folded and hung. She let out a small, incredulous laugh.
“Does she even wear the same thing twice? Or is that against her personal code?” Sofia murmured to herself, raising an eyebrow as she scanned the collection. It seemed endless. “I swear, I’m gonna roast her so bad for this when we talk.”
She shook her head, smiling to herself as she made a mental note to bring this up with Jullianna during their next facetime call.
Turning around, she noticed an entire wall dedicated to shoes. There were flats, heels, boots, and sneakers—all lined up like soldiers awaiting inspection. She walked over, admiring them one by one, and picking up a pair of platform heels.
“Does she even wear all of these? Or do they just sit here looking pretty?” She muttered under her breath.
She walked further, admiring them one by one. The thought crossed her mind to try on a few pairs, but she resisted. Instead, she quietly thanked the universe that she and Jullianna wore the same size. At least I won’t trip over heels that are too big for me.
Sofia wandered back out of the closet, still amazed, and moved to the other door. This time, she was right, it was the bathroom.
“Okay, this is just ridiculous.” She whispered.
It was not just any bathroom. This was a bathroom that could rival those in five-star hotels. The marble floors gleamed under the recessed lighting, and a large soaking tub stood in the center, surrounded by candles and neatly arranged bath products. There was even a rainfall shower with walls of glass, and two vanities stocked with an array of high-end skincare products.
“Of course her bathroom is this fancy. Why wouldn’t it be for a pompous ass like her.” Sofia chuckled, the nickname from camp already sticking with her. “Who even needs two vanities? Well, she does.” She opened a few drawers, curious but cautious, noting how every little thing had its place.
After taking it all in, she made her way back to the main room and sat on the edge of the bed. Sofia’s carefree, camp-spirited self could not help but feel a little out of place in the polished and prim world Jullianna belonged. Their difference in style and personality became glaringly obvious as she thought how she was supposed to pull this off. She sighed, standing up and glancing towards the closet again.
How does she even decide on an outfit every day? Her mind wandered over the pre-coordinated outfits hanging together back in the walk-in closet, and decided to just stick to those. Better safe than sorry. If it’s already paired, I can’t mess up…right?
“I’m going to need to ask her for a cheat sheet or something.” She mumbled, making another mental note to ask Jullianna for advice on how not to mess this all up.
For now, Sofia slid into one of the satin pajama sets and climbed into the soft, king sized bed. The covers felt impossibly smooth against her skin, like they were made of clouds. As she lay there, staring at the intricate ceiling design, she couldn’t help but laugh softly to herself.
“How am I supposed to keep up with this?” She murmured to herself, chuckling. “This is going to be really interesting.”
Sofia lay in the king sized bed, staring at the ceiling, hands tucked under her head. The room was dark and still, with only the faint glow of moonlight spilling through the large, curtained windows. She tried closing her eyes tightly, but her mind refused to settle, the unfamiliar surroundings, no matter how luxurious, only made her miss home more. She was not used to this kind of quiet, not the kind that made her thoughts louder than they needed to be.
She shifted slightly under the covers, hugging now the pillow closer. Every fiber of her being longed for the comforting presence of her father, the warmth of his voice when he wished her good night, the sound of his footsteps echoing through their home in Spain. Sofia’s breath hitched slightly when she suddenly heard faint footsteps outside the door, her heart raced as the sound grew closer, she shifted back into a sleeping position, shutting her eyes as she tried to even out her breathing.
The door creaked open gently, and you stepped inside, the soft light from the hallway spilling in for a brief moment before the door clicked shut again. Your eyes adjusted quickly to the dimness of the room, and your gaze immediately fell on the figure lying under the plush covers. You smiled to yourself, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.
“Fast asleep already.” You murmured softly, more to yourself than to anyone else.
Sofia’s heart ached at your voice. It was so tender, so maternal, and for a moment, she almost felt guilty for keeping up this act. You moved closer, your footsteps barely making a sound on the carpeted floor. Reaching the side of the bed, you lowered yourself carefully onto the edge, mindful not to disturb what you thought was your sleeping daughter.
The mattress dipped slightly under your weight, and Sofia felt it, but she remained perfectly still. You looked at her peaceful form, her dark lashes resting gently against her cheeks.
“My sweet girl,” you whispered, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face. “You must’ve been so tired today, huh.”
Sofia’s chest tightened. She wanted to say something, to reach out to you, but she did not. Instead, she felt the warmth of your hand as it lingered for a moment on her hair, smoothing it gently.
“You always try to act so grown-up,” you continued softly, your voice filled with affection, “but you’ll always be my little girl, Lia. Don’t ever forget that.”
Sofia’s heart skipped at the name. It was not hers, but the tenderness in your tone made it feel like it could have been. You leaned down, pressing a light feather kiss, to her forehead, and she had to fight the sudden wave of emotion welling up inside her.
“Good night, my love.” You said softly, pulling back and standing up quietly.
You adjusted the covers slightly, ensuring she was tucked in before leaving the room. Sofia’s ears picked up every little sound, the soft rustle of fabric, faint creak of the floorboards, and finally, the gentle click of the door closing as you left the room.
Only when the silence returned did she open her eyes, staring up at the ceiling. Her fingers brushed the spot on her forehead where you had kissed her, and she swallowed hard.
“Good night.” She whispered into the darkness.
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< taglist > @qghosty , @seonghwaexile , @linnygirl09
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fairyminnie444 · 2 days ago
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— How to feel your desire in a natural way even if it seems unlikely?
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Feeling the desire as something natural, even if it seems unlikely, is a matter of adjusting your mind and emotions to believe that it is already part of your reality. Here are practical steps to help with this process:
1. Reframe the Desire as Something Ordinary
• Start by changing your perception of the desire. Imagine that “winning $25k” or “being with your SP” is as normal as everyday things, like receiving a text message or finding money in your pocket.
• Tell yourself: “This is easy and natural. Many people have this, so I can have it too.”
2. Visualize Simple and Repeatedly
• Instead of imagining big events, visualize simple scenes that would already be natural after having the desire.
• For example, for manifest $25k:
• Imagine yourself opening your bank app and checking your balance.
• Visualize yourself smiling and thinking: “I knew this would happen.”
• For manifest your SP:
• Imagine a casual conversation or a loving message. • Feel comfortable in his/her company, as if it were something routine.
3. Use the Power of Gratitude
• Gratitude helps make any desire feel natural because you act as if you have already received it.
• Tell yourself:
• “I am so grateful to have $25k in my account. It came so easily!”
• “I am so happy to be in an amazing relationship with my SP. It is perfect!”
4. Affirm That It Is Already Yours
• Affirmations help convince your subconscious mind that the desire is already part of your reality.
• For the $25k:
• “Money always comes easily to me.”
• “I am naturally prosperous and wealthy.”
• For the SP:
• “I am loved and desired just as I am.”
• “Our relationship is harmonious and happy.”
Repeat these affirmations until they begin to ring true and normal.
5. Create Familiarity
• The mind finds unfamiliar things strange, so make the desire familiar:
• Watch videos of people who have what you want (but without envy, just to inspire).
• Pretend that it is already part of your daily life.
• For the SP, remember that he/she is already thinking about you and imagine this calmly.
6. Practice SATS
• Before going to sleep, enter a relaxed state (SATS) and imagine that the desire has already been fulfilled:
• For the $25k, visualize yourself buying something or transferring the money.
• For the SP, imagine an intimate moment together, such as holding hands or smiling.
Enter the feeling of happiness and naturalness. Make this a habit.
7. Let Go of the Desire
• Trust that the desire is already yours and do not obsess. Acting with “desperation” or “urgency” reinforces the idea that you do not yet have it. • Remind yourself: “If I already had this, how would I feel? Relaxed, confident, and at peace.” Act from that state.
8. Neutralize Doubts
• When thoughts like “This is unlikely” arise, don’t fight them. Instead, say:
• “No matter what, I know it’s mine.”
• “The impossible happens for me every day.”
9. Do Small Tests
• Manifesting smaller things, like finding a coin, receiving a compliment, or receiving a specific sign, helps strengthen your faith.
• When you see it working for smaller things, it will be easier to believe it will work for the $25k or the SP.
10. Be Consistent and Have Patience
• Making desire natural takes time and practice, especially if it seems unlikely. Persistence is what turns your imagination into reality.
• Remember: the only thing that matters is your belief and your internal state.
If you persist in the state of “I already have it,” without worrying about the details of “how,” the desire will become natural and will inevitably be reflected in 3D. Trust the process!
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jitterbugjive · 3 days ago
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Okay... I'll Accept Holiday Letters...
So, anyone who has followed me long enough knows by now how I get around the holidays. Seasonal depression kicks in, and bad memories of old toxic Thanksgivings and Christmases flood my brain any time I see or hear reminders of them. Plus there's some trauma from living in poverty and having very little around the holidays and the only people willing to exploit my mentally ill mother for work was the Salvation Army who basically pay pennies. And there's a whole lot more I don't like, like the cold, Christmas Carols, etc.
However.
The last couple of years I finally got to have proper family holiday get togethers since the toxic people in the family are gone now, and it was very healing for me. I still despise the holidays, don't get me wrong, they are mostly miserable for me. I generally tell people to not address the holidays with me.
But... I've been going through a LOT this year. Especially the last 6 months with my mother being manic and getting her whole life messed up. I've also been dealing with another family member experiencing psychosis on and off as well that I haven't felt comfortable talking about. The results of the election and things Oregon was voting on are not helping me feel any better, and I fear that winter depression is going to be hitting me like a truck. I can feel it creeping in already now that the weather is getting under 40F. On top of that, my family isn't in a state right now where anyone can feasibly host Thanksgiving or Christmas, so it's a bit of a lonely one this year. Sure, I have friends I can spend time with, but I was just getting used to the family dinners. Overall, this is just going to be a very hard winter for me.
And for once, I'm going to ask people to lend a bit of the Holiday Spirit (tm) my way, because I really need some pick-me ups to get through the rest of the year. Basically all I'm asking for is for people to send me letters of encouragement through my PO Box. Gifts and fan art are welcome too, I keep all my fan art safe. I'd prefer not to get flat-out christmas cards unless the cards are really nice or creative and have a lot of thought put into what's written in them. I could just really use some kind words and there's something that feels a lot more personal about physical letters that I can store away and pull out on a rainy day.
Please note I have a pea brain that can't read cursive very well, so if possible I'd prefer it be in plain print or typed out.
If you send treats they need to be shelf stable and properly sealed, no home baked goods.
My P.O. Box: (Can be addressed to Jitterbug or Jack)
16055 SW Walker Rd #274Beaverton, OR, 97006
And if anyone's feeling generous I do have an amazon wishlist that people should be able to buy and send stuff from without needing to be the middleman. I don't update it much and a lot of stuff is outdated but you should be able to organize it by priority to get a better idea of what things I'm most interested in. You can even add other stuff to the order that isn't on the list and it will still be shipped to my P.O. Box!
AMAZON WISHLIST
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misscammiedawn · 2 days ago
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Y'know--
Earlier this year we replied to a post by Foone Turing about Bejeweled and the fact that the game can be easily modded to become a hypno-conditioning game by editing the text files in Zen Mode.
The post broke containment and currently has about 11k notes.
Every now and again we get notifs and cannot help but check and though there's a lot of positivity in there, it always bums me out when I see people being squicked and ugly about it.
Like-- I'm sorry? My girlfriend and I like to do fun and suggestive things with a puzzle game? It's kind of weird how the words "obey" and "good girl" appearing on the screen when you solve a simple mindless puzzle game can cause people such revulsion.
Like-- we feel guilty about our interest in hypnokink. Way less than when it was bad enough that we had an entire dissociated state of self to interact with that side of our life so we didn't involve ourselves (Hi, Dawn!), but our shame and repulsion over topics of erotic intimacy are crippling at times. We're getting better but it's hard for us.
I hate that even though we gravitated to a niche that doesn't even require nudity or genital contact, it can still be met with such judgmental eyes and I sorta resent that our post gets that kind of engagement on a daily basis?
It's fine. We're fine. We're proud of our talent and our niche. It's why we run our blog like this. We don't WANT to hide in shame and pretend we're squeaky clean when we have our little interests. We wanna normalize this shit.
But-- it just-- I hate the reminders that it's abnormal and weird and gross to most people, y'know?
There's another "broke containment" post by-- a person-- about the rampant racism in the hypno-community. Which is still a problem, though since ROM was established to combat it-- it's gotten a bit better and all the replies were all this "GURL WAT!?" level knee-jerk disgust when it was a hypno-blogger, blogging about hypnosis, on their hypno-themed blog and talking about a serious topic which deeply impacts a lot of our more vulnerable members lives.
IDK... I just hate that kind of dismissive judgment, especially when you walk into someone else's house to do it.
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creatingblackcharacters · 2 days ago
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Some of my thoughts for your conversation about inaction towards antiBlack/racist behavior in shared online spaces (particularly fandom).
1. "I dont see it / I dont go here" - this was my first thought/defensive reaction and in reading others responses I think its a shared one.
Tumblr is perhaps unique in how purposely you can shape your experience and limit what you interact with. Blocking someone just cause is fully acceptable and expected here.
So, when Ive seen depictions of 'Black' characters that made me go, "Mmm idk man" its been my policy to just block and move on. Less chance of seeing a racist in the tags I like in the future *shrug*
Now on other sites perhaps there is some consideration that could be given to not wanting to boost something racist via interaction...but that's not how Tumblr works. Furthermore your reminder that seeing things go unopposed is the problem hit me like a frying pan to the face. Because...yeah duh.
We know the 'social rules' of this platform, you report/block the porn bots, you dont spam tags for engagement (or report if you see it), add image descriptions, reblog things you like etc. Would it be so hard to leave a simple comment on the things you want to see be changed?
2. "What if I do it wrong/I dont know this fandom/Not my place to speak?" - I firmly believe the main reasons people dont meaningfully engage with posts here or on other platforms is two fold: Responses and Outting.
If you were to post a mild comment saying for example, "Hey, feels kinda weird how you're only talking about this Black character being violent in this show. Why dont you check out this blog post by CBC, a Black artist who really digs into this topic more?"
Now you are expected to 1. 'deal' with whatever that persons response is and 2. Anyone an see and respond to what you said.
I think we generally expect random stranger interactions on the Internet to be unpleasant but, like if we are putting the focus on caring about Black people in out spaces...shits already 'unpleasant' for them.
Its time to start firing fireworks off in our neighborhoods to keep the rents low so to speak. You, non-Black folk (i.e me), dont have to wage endless comment battles with someone who wont listen. Just stating what you are seeing is enough, its marking that post for other people coming along. Forcing the question, "Y'all are we cool with this?"
As for messing up/having a record of things you said someone else might take issue with later on. Yeah but thats already happening whenever you reblog anything.
If you actually spoke out of turn just say, "Im sorry thanks for letting me know" and move on with your life. Otherwise folks on here will actually harass you over your shipping preferences so your rolling those dice already. Why not do it for something better worth it?
3. A Note - Genuinely thank you for posing these thoughtful question and just honestly expressing your frustration/hurt. It helped me think more deeply about some old habits.
Thank you!
Hm. And you're welcome
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itsrlymine · 2 days ago
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hi ig i’m going to call myself 🧷 sorry if this is a dumbass question lmfao
i was wondering if you had any advice for not getting triggered by the 3D, especially for beginners? bc like i was reading your posts like talk ur shit gf i agree the 3D is also a part of me. but it’s like brooo im so used to being upset and anxious and im working on myself to get out of that victim state but its like atp where i have panic attacks over unfavorable shit that happens in the 3D. and i’m trying to be like oh that’s not true but i just get so overwhelmed by that and intrusive thoughts.
so i was just wondering how you calm urself down if ur ever feeling like “blahhh wahhh 😢 what the fuck” yk what i mean 😭 bc ig we r all human and it’s normal to have a reaction to things we see and hear.
hello 🧷. firstly, stop calling yourself a beginner. you aren't. you've been manifesting your whole life. you are a master at manifesting already.
so even when i feel negative thoughts arising, i let them pass and reclaim what is actually going on. i don't let myself ruminate on things i don't want to experience bc that's what creates them. i think about what i am now experiencing and force myself to think about something else. i quite my mind and say what outcome i want. that's how i get over any "feelings." i also remind myself that they don't matter, i do.
you can also decide you don't get overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts and you will literally see that you don't anymore. hope that helps.
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skeletinmoss · 2 days ago
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The curse of the dark Phoenix
Chapter 17: Catching up
First chapter | Previous
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Send some love to @lovelivingmydreams who's written this wonderful story!
Read on tumbler:
“Should we catch mister Remus up on what happened the past fifty years?” Patton wondered as they walked towards the nearest village.
Remus had reluctantly accepted a cloak from Virgil to hide his altered form from the villagers.
“Oh Virgin told me everything already. Gussy got a promotion. All it took was every other great mage and above to kick the bucket. Except the high mages probably aren’t actually dead. The great mages… I saw some of them before I got locked up. They looked very dead,” Remus stated casually. “We’d all be stuck where we were if you three didn’t want to play hero and go snoop in a missing mage’s tower. That’s gutsy I’ll give you that. And that’s where you found Virgin in a box!”
“Stop calling him that,” Roman insisted, feeling Virgil’s annoyance at that nickname.
Remus turned to him with a smirk. “When he gets some I’ll stop calling him that,” he promised.
That… Confused Roman. Virgil had boyfriends before. Many from the sound of it. He didn’t think Virgil would be inexperienced… Virgil seemed amused by that statement, so he probably wasn’t.
Not something Roman wanted to be thinking about too much actually.
“Didn’t…” Patton started, but Virgil interrupted him.
“Anyway. My love life aside. There is a chance that there are some allies around who will help us no questions asked. Thomas is king, I don’t worry about him. It’s the council I am not sure about and I’d rather have the gang complete and agree on our story to keep these three out of trouble on the off chance this whole thing goes belly up,” Virgil explained, indicating Roman and his friends.
Roman was about to interject, but Remus interrupted him.
“So we gotta nap,” he said, clearly annoyed by that part of the plan. “Eat, and then go find Janni without any clue where to find him?” he surmised.
“Well, we have some clue. We have an area within which we need to search. We can start from the center and then go from there. Which just so happens to be… Here,” Virgil announced as they came upon the village.
“Oooh, I remember this one!” Remus cackled. “Didn’t you have a cult here for a while?” he wondered.
“Not a cult. Just…” Virgil tried to correct.
“Dude they had tattoos. It was a cult,” Remus grinned.
Virgil sighed. “You stop one forest fire,” he muttered.
“How long is ‘a while’?” Logan wondered. Which was fair. A while for them might mean something entirely different to them than to the centuries old mages.
“A decade or two,” Virgil admitted.
“Dude, babies were born and raised on the idea that you were an actual god,” Remus chuckled.
“It was a very isolated town back then. Not many travelers going through, let alone mages. Few even knew it was there,” Virgil explained.
“And worrywart Virgin kept tabs on those wittle settlements like a good wittle high mage,” Remus teased.
“I wasn’t the only one,” Virgil pointed out. “You are more of an outlier than me in that regard.”
Remus shrugged. “Anyway, Virgie finally had enough of the worship every time he checked up on the wards and asked me for help setting things straight. I’m pretty sure they still thought we were something divine for a good while after that… I think that kid… Damian?” Remus mused.
Virgil nodded. “Once Damian was found to be gifted and he went to school, he managed to convince his family and neighbors that magic, while powerful, is not an indication of the divine,” he recalled. They made their way to one of the larger buildings. Not the inn though. “Ever since, I’ve been treated as a welcome guest,” Virgil mused.
“And I as a scary reminder to treat you as a person,” Remus grinned, elbowing his friend in the side.
Virgil chuckled and knocked on the door. “Here’s hoping for allies,” he mused.
Not much later, a woman in her early twenties opened the door.
Virgil relaxed. "Daughter of James, son of Adam?" he guessed, pulling his hood back just a bit.
The woman gasped. “You are here,” she breathed as she ushered them inside.
"Grandfather will be thrilled," she said in an excited tone as she led him onward to the living room where an elderly man in his seventies was seated along with a man in his late forties or early fifties. They both rose from their seats, the eldest a bit less fluently.
"Please, stay seated," Virgil bid, making the eldest gasp. "Virgil... it really is you," he whispered. Virgil pulled back his cloak, revealing his cursed appearance, the man seemed unphased.
"Hey, Adam. You look good," he smiled fondly.
"No need to lie," Adam chuckled, tears welling up in his eyes. "When we got the message... I didn't think I'd see you this soon. But I came here because I knew that if you did end up in the area, this was where you'd look for aid," he explained shakily. Virgil gently guided him back to his seat. "Well, I found Remus in the area, so I couldn't just pass you by. What message, though?" Virgil wondered. Adam pointed at the table. A messaging stone.
"The phoenix has risen," Adam said weightily. "That was the message," he said. Then he took in Roman and his friends. "Are we all allies of the high Mage?" he asked firmly.
"They are good, Adam. Man, you got serious while I was away. I remember you being much more fun," Virgil chided playfully.
Adam smiled fondly at him. "Well, what I am about to reveal could put my family and our allies at risk, so I have to be cautious,” he offered apologetically. “We are the guardians of the Phoenix secret. We shared information on your last years and those of other high mages that kept in contact with the common folk,” he explained. Then he leaned forward, looking Virgil in the eye. “There are wizards and mages the council has no knowledge about. No one knew what the ritual that would allow them to become great mages entailed exactly I'm afraid. And we didn't stumble upon it while we tried to educate free thinking magic wielders as we'd hoped. But still, you'll have plenty of students of varying ages eager for some more guidance. Many of them have lost a loved one to the plague and did not accept the official explanation for their passing. They eagerly await word from you," Adam explained.
Virgil chuckled. "I should have known you'd keep your trouble maker tendencies even after taking over as caretaker of the town," he mused.
"But it's good to know there will be mages around to help guide the official magic community." The cursed high mage decided. "I'll help them as soon as we know what happened to the other high mages. We already found the smoldering heart and the frozen tempest. I'm sure there will be more returning to help soon," he promised.
"How can we help?" The other man, James probably, wondered eagerly.
"We could use someplace to rest for an hour. Food. And information. Anything about where Janus silver tongue was last seen or anything about a basilisk in the area," Virgil summarized.
"We won’t need a big room," Remus assured them as he pulled a flustered Patton closer by the waist.
"I'll fit this one in my lap," he mused. To which Patton made a high pitched squeak.
"Don't make him uncomfortable Remus,” Virgil warned.
Remus let go of Patton. "Came Vigini!" He whined petulantly. Roman was at a complete loss as to what he just said. And then Virgil responded in kind.
Roman was pretty sure no one in the room knew what the heck they were saying.
Remus seemed to be on the defensive and Virgil seemed both skeptical and intrigued.
Roman felt a nudge. He looked beside him and saw that his friends were looking at him expectantly.
“What?” he whispered.
“What are they saying?” Logan asked, rolling his eyes as though that was obvious.
“I can’t read his mind. I need some more context and even then it’s an educated guest. Remus is trying to convince Virgil of something. Virgil is not impressed. That’s all I got,” he whispered back.
“Got on what?” Remus asked curiously. Roman glared at him, not willing to say anything if Virgil hadn’t.
“Oh, Roman and Virgil have a magic bond and they have this cool thing where they talk without talking now,” Patton summarized helpfully, glad that he wasn’t the topic anymore Roman assumed.
“Really?” Remus said intrigued.
“It was an accident,” Roman insisted. “When we found Virgil’s ashes I didn’t expect to be touching human remains, I panicked and tried a cleansing spell and then Virgil started to reform and my magic mixed with his and now here we are,” Roman insisted.
“It is probably for the best that it did happen though,” Logan pointed out. “We would likely not have been so quick to trust Virgil had it not been for Roman being so connected to Virgil’s emotions,” he pointed out.
“I might not have stuck around you guys for longer than necessary to grab some supplies and hand you a favor before getting home if I hadn’t felt your shock and worry. It alerted me that something was off and made me more cautious. Slowing down, as frustrating as it was at the time, probably was beneficial to preparing and planning the rescue mission,” Virgil admitted.
“Well, good that things turned out how they did,” the woman who’d initially opened the door for them said.
“My brother and his wife run the inn. They’ll have some space to spare and the resources to cook you a proper meal,” she offered.
“Thank you,” Virgil smiled before turning to Adam. “We’ll be on the move as soon as we have somewhere to go, but I’ll be back to catch up once things have settled,” he promised.
Adam nodded gratefully.
Logan offered their hostess the map. “The yellow circle is the area within which the high mage Janus should be found. This should help you in gathering relevant information,” he stated.
The woman nodded and then took them to a different building.
As they were guided outside, Roman gently touched Virgil's arm with his own to get his attention but not be noticed by someone else, specifically Remus.
Virgil glanced towards him, picking up on his attempt to be subtle.
Roman looked back at the house where the two elder men were watching them go to wave at them and then turned to Virgil curiously, already having his suspicions. Virgil smiled, fond accusation in his eyes. Roman turned away from him, embarrassed. Virgil subtly nudged him in comfort. Glanced back and showed his nostalgic affection for the young man Adam was when they knew one another. Then he looked at Roman, flooding him with the inferno of affection, completely consuming the embers of what remained of whatever once existed between him and Adam.
Roman felt a little silly for being jealous of an elderly person. But Virgil didn't seem to fault him for that.
"You weren't kidding. This is gonna be fun," Remus chuckled. Great. So he did catch on.
“Drop it Remus,” Virgil sighed.
“Aw come on V. You haven’t had a magic bond since school. It’s a little intriguing,” Remus shrugged.
“That you know off,” Virgil stated, making Remus gasp offended. “You bonded with someone other than me or J on purpose?” he asked. Virgil just smirked and walked on. Though Roman could tell he hadn’t just made that up to rile Remus up.
He wondered who he’d chosen to bond with.
"Jessica! Peter! Guests for Grandfather. They need rooms and a meal!" Their guide called out they entered the Inn. Behind the bar stood a young couple looking surprised at their arrival. Middle of the day was not exactly rush hour.
"We don't need to use the beds, and we only need the space for an hour," Virgil promised gently. His hood once again securely over his head. "And we got gold to pay," Remus added.
"Um. Well, the rooms are just cleaned out and I don't expect anyone till dinner. So uh... how many rooms?
"A single one if there is enough space for all of us to sit comfortably," Virgil offered. Tossing Remus a warning glance to which the high mage pouted.
Jessica nodded, grabbed a key, and led the way.
"Here you go. I'll have a stew and some bread ready when you get back," she offered as she opened the door for them and handed Virgil the key.
"Thank you," he bid before closing the door and turning to the group.
"Everyone knows the drill. Roman I want to try and see if I can teach you a few things about being a phoenix high Mage while resting. Are you okay with that?" Virgil asked.
Roman frowned, pretending to be confused for a moment before coming to a realization. "Like how you showed us your memory for clues," he guessed so no one would know there'd been a much more recent experience for Roman.
Virgil nodded though his emotions searched for confirmation. He wanted to know if Roman wanted it to be like last night or like the first time.
Roman pressed on with confidence, indicating his desire for them to be one again.
"Ooh first a magic bond, now sharing a dream? Virgil you always had favorites, but you're never so obvious about it," Remus teased.
"Shut it Remus," Virgil warned as he locked the door so they wouldn't be interrupted.
"I'm being serious!" Remus insisted, throwing an arm around Roman's shoulder. "Seriously, seriously though," he whispered in Roman's ear. "He is thick as a rock when it comes to guys liking him." Roman doubted that but Remus' ignorance seemed to be a source of amusement for Virgil so he didn’t correct him.
"But I'm pretty confident he likes you. So when you make your move, lay it on thick," he advised. Roman was taken aback. He hadn't expected to get Remus' approval. Not that he'd wanted it. Virgil's as the only approval that mattered.
Still. He appreciated the gesture, even if he was not going to admit that.
"Get of me," he huffed as he broke from his maybe great something uncle's grip. “I think I am currently a bit more aware of what he does and does not feel than you,” he pointed out dismissively before turning to Virgil.
"I'd love that. Thank you," he told Virgil. He could hear Remus sigh defeated. Thinking he'd failed to be a good guide for his 'nephew' probably.
"Alright. Come sit with me. We have an hour," Virgil reminded him. Roman nodded and joined Virgil, where he sat on the floor. They sat themselves back to back.
"Wanna cuddle?" Remus suggested to someone. Probably Patton. "No, thank you," Patton squeaked.
"Great, now there's four," Logan muttered. And then it went quiet, and Roman could focus.
He was five and looked up at his grandfather with big eyes. Under the wonder and excitement there was surprise that was not his own.
"Roman, my boy. I will tell you the tale of the birth of the marvelous town me, my father and your father grew up in," his grandfather said weightily. “It was my father’s first memory. They traveled through an icy storm to find a new home to live with his parents and everyone from their former village. A band of rogues with terrible magic means had ransacked their village, poisoned their lands.” Roman could vividly imagine it, though he hadn’t at the time. Those bands of rogue wizards specializing in weather magic, turning it against the kingdom to send everyone in disarray.
“And no aid was coming for them, so they packed up and tried their luck elsewhere.
They were forced to travel under terrible circumstances Roman, but they had to find shelter. So, they braved the storm,” grandfather said dramatically putting his grandchild on the edge of his seat. “And finally, the gods heard their prayers for mercy and the storm died down. Just as they found themselves in a valley near a forest, a river between them and predators, but not impossible for humans to cross so they could hunt for food in the forest. They stood a chance at survival.
But my father didn’t remember that day because of the storm or the miraculous appearance of the perfect valley to live in.” Grandfather leaned in closer. “Not even for the white-blue feline monsters that emerged from the forest, jumping over the river with ease, just as they had settled in.” Roman gasped in shock.
“No. He remember it for what happened right after his father covered his fear frozen body with his own. Through his embrace he saw a bird, black as night swoop in between them and the advancing monsters. They cowered away just as the majestic creature lit up in purple flames and turned into a man. With a mere gesture of his hand he sent the monsters back to the forest. He stood there a moment, light pouring from him and encircling what would become our town,” grandfather said. “And then he turned and knelt down to meet my father’s gaze. And you know what he told him Roman?” Roman shook his head, entirely enraptured.
“He told him that he’d sorted out the issues with the neighbors and that they should have pleasant weather for a long while. And they did. And we do. Only gentle snowfall and regular showers to water our crops, a rare late night thunderstorm to enjoy from the safety of our homes. It was, and still is, a magnificent place to live,” grandfather said wisely.
“I suppose that is a no to moving with us?” Roman’s father said from behind him. The memory shifted.
He was sat in his dorm room reading a bundle of poems.
"Roman," Logan's voice called. "Will you please put that down? This is important," he insisted.
"I'm not slacking," Roman insisted. "These are written before the plague and honor the great mages of that time. Uncensored " Roman pointed out.
"Really?" Patton gasped. Nervous and excited at the same time.
Logan was silent. Craving the hidden knowledge, but also well aware that if the Council knew about this book, they'd probably ban it. It had likely been overlooked due to it being poetry. They weren't supposed to learn anything about the magic of that time if it was not vetted and deemed safe by the arch mage...
"Listen to this," Roman said, encouraged by the fact that no one was stopping him. "The flame of night, endlessly bright upon the crowd. The sky had fallen, the stars were enraged, yet it did not phase the mage of night. And thus he tamed the blazing stars, docile the hellhound laid at his feet,” Roman cited gently.
“Wow… That’s kind of cool,” Patton breathed.
Logan hummed, not wanting to admit that he agreed.
“Too bad that such magics led to a plague,” he pointed out.
“Yes, but still… I wonder what it was like, to live like that. Not having to worry that you offended Her,” Roman mused.
They didn’t mention the goddess of magic out loud when they could help it. His friends knew which ‘Her’ he meant.
“We will likely never know…” Logan sighed, also not happy with having their magic so limited.
“In any case, I found something… Peculiar,” the diviner of their group stated, shifting topic.
“What’s that?” Roman asked.
“The arch mage. There is nothing to find about his death. Not the date, not the cause. Not even that he died. His death should have been a state affair. But there was no mention of it made ever. He just seems to, disappear,” he informed them.
“Wait… He might not be dead?” Patton asked confused. They’d all assumed he was dead. But Logan was right there should’ve been some sort of record for that. If there wasn’t then that meant…
“Who is searching for him?” Roman asked.
“I don’t know, but they aren’t successful, clearly,” he stated.
Roman grinned, he knew that glint in his friend’s eye. That was the same look he’d had when they made their pact to become mages.
“What do you say we offer some help?” Logan suggested.
“How?” Patton wondered.
“I have been doing some research, there is a ritual that can elevate us beyond ordinary mages. It is difficult and dangerous, as we have to connect with the very fabric of magic on a deeper level. Being rejected is extremely likely, and who knows what might happen if we are. But with ample preparation, I believe we might succeed,” he announced.
Roman looked to Patton and then to Logan. They were once again on the same page. They’d take on this challenge together.
Roman let go of his hold of the past and felt himself be gently pulled in another direction.
He was lying in a field under a starlit sky. Minding his breath. Stardust next to him. Staring up at the endless void of dark and light.
"What are you doing?"
His concentration broken, he glanced at the boy who'd managed to settle at his side without him noticing.
He looked back up to the stars. "I am trying to commune with Magic," he explained.
The young man gasped. "You can do that!?" he whispered incredulously.
"Sort off," he said. "It takes a lot of focus though," he explained.
"What are you saying to her?" His student wondered.
He was silent and looked at the 14 year old. He didn't need to know about his suspicions. "I asked for some guidance," he said simply.
That got him a long moment of silence.
"Why did she make you a phoenix and not a dragon?" The teenager asked suddenly.
"Because I'm not a dragon. I'd be a terrible king," he stated.
"You're a great teacher," the young man countered. He chuckled. "I'm alright, I suppose," he allowed. "I wouldn't give it up for the world," he mused. The young man nodded in understanding.
"Want to comune with me?" He offered. In answer his student laid down next to him.
He blinked and he was in a hallway looking at his student. Now a young adult. He was eying the doors nervously. It was a different room, a different building and a different city. But it had the same design and the same function as the one he’d entered for his ascension.
"You will be fine. I'll be here when you get back," he promised.
"Thank you," his pupil said. "For sneaking me in here," he added.
"No problem. I wish I'd gone behind everyone's back when I became a great mage. I hated the whole circus," he admitted, making a face. His student laughed. "Well, see you later," the young mage bid before walking in and closing the doors.
He took a deep breath and held out his hands, a little pouch with herbs on his wrist. He had prepared the room. Now, he just had to activate the bubble. The guide would break the circle when it was time.
A bright flash, a gust of wind blew the doors open, and he stared wide-eyed at the silhouette of a dragon in the smoke. Then he blinked, and it was all back to normal.
His protege standing in the center, shaking. He rushed forward and embraced him. "I've got you," he promised.
"Did you know?" The young man whimpered into his shoulder.
"I had suspicions. I didn’t want that burden to be put upon you any sooner than necessary. No one has to know until you are ready," he promised.
"But the people..." the future king protested.
"Are well looked after by all of us," he assured him. "You don't need to take the crown until you are ready," he swore.
He felt the embrace tighten.
And then he was in the forest in his phoenix form his student stood before him holding one of his feathers, focusing. And then there was a golden phoenix before him.
"Welcome to flying 101. Your first lesson in preparation of ascending," he announced.
His pupil shook his head disoriented. "The phoenix senses will take some getting used to. Now, shall we?" It took a few tries and some encouragement in the face of defeat, but they took to the sky and the future king was having the time of his life. As they flew all around the lands that would someday become their kingdom, he explained becoming a high mage to him.
"You will no longer be looking up at the stars but feel like you are part of them. Like they are old friends. Magic will bend for you more easily. Like you know it's language. Basically, the same changes after becoming a mage and a great mage. But more extreme. You won't notice right away. Only when using spells at first.
As if you subconsciously give yourself more time to process. It's a lot. But once you get comfortable in your new body, magic will be as natural as breathing." he explained.
"How do I ascend?"
"When you are ready, you focus like you did when you first connected, and this time, you let it consume you. You will not disappear. You will be one with magic. When you are ready to accept that, it will happen as it should."
They flew in silence. "You will be there, right?"
"Until you send me away," he promised. He angled his body to gain altitude above a forest and then he dove down again. Heading straight for a castle. A new castle. One that would survive several centuries of both peace and war. But now it was shiny and new, only a decade old, built as crown jewel of the chosen capitol.
He landed in the courtyard, human once more. His student stood before him, surrounded by curious, confused, mages.
“Do you have it?” the younger mage said nervously.
“All taken care off,” he promised with a bow of his head. “You’ll do great,” he promised before walking back to give the soon to be high mage his space.
The young almost king took a deep breath and in a blaze, spread his wings and took to the sky. Growing bigger and bigger until a fully grown, golden dragon flew loops around the castle, letting out a mighty roar and flying off.
Virgil smirked proudly and conjured a table on which he laid out the newly made golden crown and the ten swords that had left the fire only that morning, enchanted and made ready for their pledge an hour ago.
When the king came back from marking his territory, he would be crowned and nine mages would be chosen as his advisors and confidants. Together the ten of them would reflect the ten main gods. Remus would often be jokingly referred to as the unofficial eleventh representative of eclipse, only showing up when it pleased him.
He looked up and blinked against the sun.
And then he was standing in front of the inn earlier today looking at Roman slowly transforming, before his eyes. His hair growing longer his skin changing color and then suddenly he was blinding to look at, for a moment he thought he saw wings and half expected to see a Pegasus appear. But no. When he could see him again he was a gorgeous white horse with golden eyes, though he could swear there were some red and purple hues in his manes when he moved his head and the light hit it just right.
He blinked and he was flying through the temple. To his horror he saw Roman taunt Remus into attacking him. For a terrifying moment he thought he was watching one of his closest friends torch a man he’d come to care deeply for in a dazzling short amount of time.
But the yellow and green flames Remus produced turned golden and red and even a little purple as they bend around Roman as though protecting, no embracing him.
Roman started glowing himself becoming one with the flames, making it just one whirling storm of fire.
And then it became a silhouette of a phoenix, bursting from the wave of flames with grace and regal purpose. It actually intimidated the chimera for a moment. Then the fire phoenix closed its wings and shrank down, leaving behind a faintly glowing Roman. Who still stood his ground like nothing had happened.
That idiot.
“Hey! Love birds! Wake up!”
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gregmarriage · 4 months ago
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just ‘danced’ around my animal crossing living room to kk birthday, bc i am the coolest motherfucker alive
happy gwen left the womb day!!!
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bsptourist · 7 days ago
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created by RileySV
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rox-of-iu · 1 year ago
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me + mayhem going on a stupid silly hike for my stupid silly mental health
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touched grass and i am normal again (lying)
#i will get back to drawing soon let me just sleep for a few years shdjhkfds#anyway photo credit to mayhem again i cant take pictures to save my life lol#btw the caption is obvs reference to that one hike video tiktok i think so credit to that also its not my joke#anywqay it was nice did help me a little bit#been feeling a bit down due to some personal problems ykno#and also due to not being accepted into a med uni I rly wanted to (but didn't put enough effort I'll confess) and that almost no one getsin#but i was only missing one point o(-( i was the first in line outside the capacity limit hasjkdhsahd#even tho my brain is rly small for it lets be real hfjsdfhksd but like hhsdjhshdjkhd those biches at physiotherapy baited me hdsjd#mqf i have failed you lol#also i have accidentaly gotten back into one piece as I do for like two weeks periodically every few months or so dhjsdhk#so im revisiting my olde blorbo trafalgar which is just reminding me of a fact that this was one of the fuckers my itty bitty young self -#- wanted to pursue medicine beacause of lmaoooo#bad timing one piece fixation!! bad bad!! sdhhdjshdjakshd#whatevrrr whatevr whatevr io dotn care! enough of that hahhskj#but hey as some of u may remeber im czech so haa whats up with the mountains right since we are very cute and 'down to earth' state hahaha#its cuz its actually from austria :))#we went hiking there since theyre co by kamenem dohodil as they say#fuck english has the exactly same saying im moron that ruins my whole thing hjdsk 'a stone's throw away' whatever ignore that ig hahhah#so yeah very beautiful very powerful go touch some grass lads#also they are not stones throw away i was lying but close enough-#also random czechs stop jumpscaring me in other countries challenge why was there so many of us horrible horrible horrible
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cakemoney · 8 months ago
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i don't want to put my uninformed foot in my mouth or get involved with the Discourse but i've been seeing the two extremes of reactions to the korean low birth rates issue (on tumblr and twitter both) and i'm just kind of like. look. i feel like "low birth rates (in many countries but especially japan and korea as part of this conversation) are more broadly the result of capitalism/a culture of overwhelming overwork that makes social relationships and having families incredibly inaccessible to young people" and "low birth rates are very much a part of the current conversation about misogyny and social expectations for women in korea especially in the context of reproduction as 'unpaid labor' for women" are statements that can both be true
#laughs awkwardly#gender#especially considering the ways patriarchal expectations and capitalism very much intersect in terms of quality of life for women#ex. women being expected to have kids / raise kids / do all the housework and cooking in a relationship#while ALSO existing in a society where women (even married women) have to work demanding jobs to deal with the high cost of living#AND women are systemically discriminated against in terms of pay / job availability / work environment and harassment#all of these things add up. these conversations are not opposing points of view. you know?#and also like. not super comfortable with how TERFs are discussed in terms of non-white cultures#TERFism / radfems as a MOVEMENT (and a cult) is very much rooted in white supremacy / ideals of womanhood#again. multiple things can be true at the same time. yes i do see (from my perspective involved in taiwanese social media)#some east asian feminists engage in transphobia in ways that approach radfem rhetoric ('women are victims of men' 'men are predators'#type generalized sentiments which you can imagine gains a lot of traction among women traumatized by patriarchy)#but movement-wise i don't think it's fair (or just in good faith) to generalize radical feminists from non-white countries#to straight up TERFs. which again. rooted in white supremacy. keep feeling like i have to remind people it doesn't make sense#for asians to be white supremacists and that not all oppression on earth stems directly from white people. you weirdos#'what are you talking about' in east asia the type of feminist statements called 'radical' are stuff like.#women shouldn't have to wear make up every time they go outside. women shouldn't be expected to do all housework.#should men pay for women on dates. debates that i think in the states we kind of take for granted as stuff settled years ago#even if some feminists might be transphobic it's not necessarily Transphobia As Core Tenets Of The Movement. does anyone get the difference#basically what i'm saying is. wow these tags got long. maybe let's not apply uniform standards of 'correct language and values'#to non-white people and attack them when as all movements they are fluid and influenced by the people living in it#TERF-style transphobia is not the predestined course for them. maybe it's more productive to have open discussions about transphobia#to work towards inclusivity and solidarity in these movements than to prescribe White Internet Morality to them#and declare that they're evil when they are still very much having conversations that need to be had. thanks i think that's all#essentially. i find that 'how dare a non-american movement not have morally pristine vocabulary priorities and membership#as determined by white leftists' to be in itself kinda a racist attitude
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