#it just costs too much.
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I really fucking hate how expensive it is man. Like almost $200 at Target for like basics for self care and the house. Nothing fun except some dog treats. Like I’m sorry I don’t want to but the cheapest shit that is loaded with chemicals and bad ingredients. Like why is it a premium to buy products that are just natural ingredients? Jesus.
Oh and what’s the point of coupons sometimes??? Like target had a circle coupon for Zyrtec 90 count ($42 reg) for $10 off so it would have been $32 and I got the store brand 180 count for like $20??
Also don’t get me started on how fucking annoying it is to try to buy treats for my dog who happens to have an allergy to chicken… Did you know that that is the number one allergen for dogs? Fucking chicken. And do you know how many fucking treats out there are supposedly like fruity flavored or just peanut butter that have chicken in them?? Most of them.
These are like separate gripes but like at the same time it’s a fucking pain man.
Oh and my insurance doesn’t want to cover my acid reflux prescription apparently because I need prescription strength instead of just nexium anymore. Luckily they gave a coupon for me so I got 2 months for $17 so 🤷🏼♀️. My doctor is fighting them on it at least but still.
#these tags are gonna be weird.#I says things#late stage capitalism#capitalism#it just costs too much.#dog problems#pet problems#dogs with allergies#American healthcare is a joke and a rip off#american healthcare
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Here’s a bit of a departure from my usual art posting but I’d like to get the word out about my dear friend Edrian and his friend Angeles’s endurance performance and hunger strike for a free Palestine in Los Angeles starting today, June 17th. (More info on Edrian’s Instagram and at venerations.cargo.site)
Edrian will begin cutting out paper dolls and ribbons to reach 35,647 of each, reflecting the reported death toll of Palestinians killed by Israel’s genocide in Gaza since Oct. 7th. He will not move from the venue until he is done and do nothing aside from cutting with few exceptions made for his own physical and economic survival. In addition to that and to represent a microcosm of the suffering in Gaza and Palestine, he will be on HUNGER STRIKE until he finishes. It’s an impossible task to do alone before starving so audience participation is essential. I’m spreading the word to ask for support through participation!
You can participate in a number of ways (more detailed instructions here):
Spread the word. Word of mouth and social media sharing are crucial as this performance is being promoted pretty exclusively via word of mouth.
Donate money to Palestinian aid funds! Certain high donation amounts can help Edrian continue his endurance performance by allowing him to engage in life-giving activities like showering or socializing with a loved one, and reaching the 100k total goal allows him to end his hunger strike.
If you live in and around Los Angeles, visit the venue (800 Date Ave, Alhambra, CA 91803) There you can help him cut and show your support. ***The performance is on the second floor of the venue and there is no elevator so it is not accessible except by stairs :(
If you don’t live near LA, you can cut paper dolls and mail them to the venue address to count towards the total. (printable templates here) This is what I will be doing. It’s easy to do with any spare time you’re not using your hands. I recommend mailing them in small batches if possible to get them in on time and reduce the risk of losing mail. I also recommend including info about the count of paper dolls in each parcel (for example include a note telling the total number of paper dolls) Every small amount counts!
If you are an Art Center College of Design student or alumni, sign the petition to pressure Art Center to divest from Israel! Art Center has refused to host Edrian and Angeles for their performance, torn down their posters promoting it, and in general refused to take a stance against Israel’s genocide. As artists and human beings we must resist genocide and refuse to support institutions that side against the people.
He is also live-streaming his performance and documenting progress if you would like to show support just by being present.
If you’ve never participated in a political performance before now’s a great chance, any little bit counts! I appreciate any time or effort you take to read this, support my friends, and work towards a free Palestine! ♥️🇵🇸
#venerations#free palestine#ik I don’t really talk much or connect with people on social media ^_^; but I appreciate if despite that you support me and my friends! ♥️#please seriously consider participating you can do it for just the cost of postage#also if you’re an ACCD student or an art student in LA it would be really cool of you to show up ♥️#I’m friends with Edrian from taking classes at the LA Animation guild back in the day…and then we found out we went to the same school#and were in the same department too. he’s always been thoughtful brave and radical so it’s really cool of him to do this!#we’d been discussing it for a long time so I’m happy he’s able to get it off the ground now. I hope people consider supporting!#Angeles is Edrian’s friend from ACCD. If Edrian becomes physically incapable of continuing she will continue the performance after him
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Gideon at the end of Nona The Ninth strikes me as.. really odd. I know some people thought she's out of character because she's kinda mean - which I don't agree with - but honestly every time I get to that part I think: She's smarter than that.
I know fanon Gideon usually portrays her as a huge idiot and a goofball (fair enough for the most part) but she's also one hell of a skeptic and stubborn character that does NOT bend to authority easily. And let's remember The Unwanted Guest: We know that just by the nature of the Lyctor process Gideon must have picked up some stuff from Harrow as well, we even see it happen when she starts discussing basic necromancy at the end of Nona.
So, Gideon is now being sent to the ninth to kill Alecto, John's Cavalier, and take his place going forward, or at least this is what she says.
You see what I'm going at? She's smarter than that.
I am NOT saying she is acting out character by the way! But I think we don't give her motivations enough credit beyond being reckless because of grief. Gideon Nav who all her life has done nothing but hatch escape plans and NEARLY succeeded? Gideon Nav who is carrying part of Harrows soul? Gideon Nav WHO WATCHED THE EVENTS OF HARROW THE NINTH UNFOLD WITH HARROWS EYES?
I guess what I'm wondering is: What's her plan?
#she is the smartest idiot known to man and god#and i dont believe this is just suicidality#she's now part harrow#she wouldn't kill herself now not just like that - her life has cost far too much now#and if theres anything i strongly believe about her and harrow is that theres nobody more stubborn than them#anyyywaaay#Gideon Nav#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#nona the ninth#harrow the ninth#harrowhark nonagesimus#the locked tomb spoilers
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universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.
in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.
let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.
#delete later#out of pocket rant#i hate these god awful takes on universal health care#and i hate this oh he killed a father#how many fathers do you think uhc let die be real with me#oh 8 billion is only 6% profit margin#bitch it could be 2 percent it could be a negative loss#this is me saying oh i resold a shoe for $60 after buying it for $50 when i also made it for 80 cents#i have been denied things like chest xrays and lung exams#i btw have had a chronic cough for 4+ years#in canada i got this done on the same fking day and results back within a month#there are indeed horror stories and on both sides of know ppl who died due to delayed diagnosis#and ppl who died bc they didnt even want the diagnosis it would have cost them too much#but robbing someone of the choice in my opinion is the worse of the two#putting someone in an impossible position like that is evil#this country love god so much better start praying u stay healthy bc thats the most important thing#also like those horror stories of wait times in the er#im gonna be real if u have severe stomach pain are actively bleeding heart attack or stroke#you will be seen asap#yes if unfortunately everyone around u that day decided to have a stroke or heart attack ur appendicitis will be punted down the line#this is a resource issue NOT a cost issue#this is a they also cut funding to nursing school and limited the number of ppl who can pursue medical degrees issue#not a we dont have privatized health care issue#bc ultimately u need a doctor to see u#not someones sister who is taking stabs at it#and every doctor is bound by the concept of time???#u still have to wait in america ur Charged for it also#and yall it doesn’t even have to be a Big incident#ur local urgent care might just be closed after 8pm and at 9pm u need stitches#or have severe stomach pains and just want it checked
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I will say that I'm starting to notice a pattern around the approach taken with some live-action Star Wars content.
To give you an idea...
Let's say they announce something called "Dooku - A Star Wars Story".
It wouldn't be too far-fetched to assume it'll be about Count Dooku, maybe about his rise and fall. Former Jedi, evil Sith Lord, you'd expect lightsaber fights galore, him leaving the Jedi, or training under Yoda, training Qui-Gon, studying the Dark Side, stuff like that, y'know?
And instead... instead it would be a story set in the 2-3 years between him leaving the Jedi Order and becoming a Sith Acolyte, and focuses majorly around him getting used to be the Count of Serenno, trying to fight off corrupt bureaucrats and/or pirates/bandits from getting their hands on Serenno and finally, at the end, joining Sidious.
Yoda might make a cameo, Sidious would for sure, but the story's main cast would be a young fish-out-of-water POV character for the audience, the butler of Chateau Serenno, Dooku's sister, a disposable baddie and maybe his political rivals in the House of Lords or something. No one of consequence.
See what I mean?
And I'm specifying "live-action" because I think there's a different approach taken with these stories when they're in live action. Example:
Boba Fett is a bounty hunter. You'd expect a series about him to be centered on that. But nope... let's NOT be predictable, let's make him, I dunno, a crime boss... but not a Peaky Blinders type of crime boss, that'd be too obvious, no let's make him Don Corleone but like 10x softer. See? Now, we're shaking the system! Nobody could've predicted we'd focus on this specific aspect! Fresh, original! AKA quality stuff!
And I know they were going for a decent story, I've already broken it down here. But sometimes, some of this stuff is just straight-forward and seeing them NOT tick those boxes is baffling.
And it's not just an approach Lucasfilm takes, it's all studios.
For instance, the "this superhero needs to spend the whole film in civilian clothing until they earn their costume/powers/name" trope is also a result of this approach.
#sw negativity#am i making any sense?#other example: Would it have cost them to put more flashbacks in “Obi-Wan Kenobi”?#And expand on his relationship with Anakin? 2-3 flashbacks set after TPM or during TCW?#then again... if they do it too much#you get Solo: A Star Wars Story#which was received by a lot of people as being “just okay.”
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(ID in alt) hi sorry for back to back marvel fanart I swear I still have dc stuff lmao. However I did recently read X-Men: first class and got a bit carried away doodling this after Lmao
#marvel comics#x men#scott summers#jean grey#hank mccoy#bobby drake#warren worthington iii#charles xavier#anyway#picked X-Men: First Class#out of sheer curiosity and desire to know more about the X-Men and I really enjoyed it!#Idk how in line with canon it but. Whatever tbh. Anyway that was the inspo behind this#just the og 5 fooling around and being silly teens#jean being the flirty one probably isn't very in character at this time period (jean doesnt really show any interest in scott in first clas#but it was too cute to pass up#also charles looks so much more pissed off than i intended 😭 there's this one issue of first class where he's just BERATING the xmen#just yelling at them psychically and eventually its revealed that it wasn't actually Charles but i didn't question it at first#which is kind of mean to charles. but idk i haven't gotten far with the x-men (im being very casual in my reading rn)#so maybe he deserves it#also i keep making bigger and bigger drawings bc i know that those print well#but i keeo forgetting that tumblr murders the quality of the image when you upload it. bwahhh#anyway i think i am finally going to knuckle down and open commission slots for part of july#idk how much a bad boy like this (lined coloured and shaded w/ multiple characters) would cost but we're gonna figure that out#honestly i might slightly under price them just to encourage ppl to spring for them#okay that's all for now I PROMISE I HAVE DC DRAWINGS TO SHARE i was just in a serious drawing funk and drawing some characters-#-that I'd never drawn before (like shulkie and now the xmen) helped break that funk!#mine
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Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...
...and also being able to read things like THIS:
#art#crochet#fiber art#described images#image description in alt#used a crochet pattern for this because it's just INSANE#see i can recognize some of these stitch markings but i haven't done them all yet#i actually kind of prefer the diagram pattern because it actually shows you the shape and the way stitches compliment the piece#with a 'normal' pattern (e.g. 1 dc in fifth ch from hook ch 2 4 dc) i understand it sure but. it isn't the same.#i was reading somebodys recommendations for tapestry yarn and understood all the abbreviations and what they mean#plus i feel like diagrams can be a great way to teach you not only how stitches look but how they contribute to the larger piece#one of my crochet proficiency goals is to be able to look at a piece and know instantly what made it#*cue me at the store analyzing a crochet piece so i can replicate it for 5× the cost*#if you're selling a crocheted piece for like $20 then it's my imperative to replicate it and not buy it 🫡#i think that has the same moral implication as like... 'proplifting'#did crochet as the example because thats what i do as a fiber art. if theres a similar thing for knit/weave/ect then DROP IT BELOW I BEG YO#i want to learn all the lovecraftian languages of the fiber artists <3#i feel like describing the image in exactly what stitch marking indicates what would have been too much so hopefully the explanation as to..#...what the diagram DOES and how it visually indicates a pattern was helpful <3
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You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.
(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)
It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.
We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.
But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.
The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.
The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.
The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.
Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.
Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.
And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.
I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.
But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.
Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.
#hoc est meum#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#meta#like sometimes people commit transgressions#and you have to actually decide what that means to you#what you're willing to let them cost you#whether you agree that that transgression deserves punishment#and even if it does what role you're willing to take in that process#jiang cheng is someone whose sense of right and wrong operates along emotional and pragmatic axes before consulting the moral#which means that without being a *bad* person he's someone who's highly susceptible to pressure#as long as it comes from either a superior or Society At Large#especially if his insecurities get tripped#but like sometimes just for example it's illegal to be gay#or people have less rights because of who their parents were#and those instincts can lead you into bad choices#it's good to be able to set boundaries but jiang cheng is not good at setting them where he personally actually wants them#and when he does they're the boundaries Angry Jiang Cheng wants#and calmed-down jiang cheng just has to live with them#which ofc is something that applies to wwx too in very different ways#the fact that BOTH jiang cheng and lan xichen when the chips are down choose society over their respective halves of wangxian#at one crucial point#and that lan xichen does so in a way that he can live with and not withdraw from the relationship because of#while jiang cheng is almost insane with the need for wei wuxian to deserve everything that happened to him#and how much of that is who they are as people?#and how much is that lan wangji is not dead#and how much is it that lan xichen understands exactly what happened and why#while jiang cheng doesn't and can't so he has to make up his own story to make sense of it#so much going on here
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Advanced Hall Monitor Technique: Go To Detention
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#thats not supposed to be lan qiren; just a lan elder#once again wwx tries to play chess (setting up a pin) only for lwj to take the peice and crush it in his mouth#teen wangji is the definition of lawful good. Follow and obey the rules outlined by your [group laws] even at the cost to yourself#lawful good gets done so dirty in media (lawful stupid is usually what the result of trying to write such a character becomes)#but here? nah. LWJ’s severe lawfulness does get used for humour but it does *so* much more too#We get to establish a strong character basis for the fact *he stands by what he beleives in—unshakingly*#idk if anyone is out there saying LWJ moves alignment; cause I’d argue his code of law simply shifts to something (someone) else#regardless; i love this scene a lot for what it shows about lwj’s character and its also such a good character dynamic#oh I forgot to wish everyone a happy first day of spring (north hemmies) and fall (south hemmies)#may the change in season be a blessing B*) not for me though I have seasonal allergies#ramadan started recently too; Ramadan Kareem to all the muslims passing by this blog!
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So I think my perception of Grian's reasoning for enabling the horrible Jimmy ecosystem and also my perception of his character as a whole has been turned on its head completely and I feel really bad for him after watching Kingdom of Valor and it's like bad roleplay but it's. it's done things to me and I've never ever felt this much for Grian not even in my sadboy Grian Desert Duo phase. I don't know what to do about this
SA word under cut
Episodes 6 and 10 (like the entirety of it) for context. :( . :(. But like major warning if you watch those episodes, especially 10, because um they didn't use any disclaimers
#what the fuckkkkkkkkkk man what the fuckkkk hello#dont talk to me#Grian will never be the same to me again. Like everything makes too much sense now esp with Jimmy but at what cost#dont want Grian to kill himself anymore but at what cost...#like obviously its a completely seperate and abandoned thing but it makes so much fucking sense#from the perspective that Grian prioritizing his wellbeing over anyone else's is why he enforces the ecosystem#just so no one else including potentially him can take his place. Not so much putting Jimmy down as it is him protecting himself#he is still very awful but. I feel bad for him he might be a little bit of a son now I fear#Grian repeatedly saying he'd kill himself and shit. what the fuck#cw sa#cw suicide#tw suicide#tw sa mention#tw rape mention#and they made the conscious decision to put a new skin on him of him being bloodied and his clothes ripped and in um specific ways#and I could so easily see Jimmy in that same situation like that is just alternate universe Jimmy right there#and the two guys with him. his FRIENDS. who he cares about. are just joking about it nonstop and hitting him. help him. Help him#and they have this whole diary about a previous victim who's named Jimmi like hello. what a wild fucking coincidence#most unintentional abhorrent foreshadowing ever just to torture me specifically even though I've seen kingdom of valor only now#kingdom of valor#ok bye dont talk to me#tubby art
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Dude i CANNOT recommend ibispaint enough. The really just added an AI disturbance filter. WHO is adobe protoshop
#like i know it's a paid feature but the premium mode was 5 reais for me#which is 1 dollar#i think they're underestimating their product#it's underpriced as heck#idk how much it costs outside of brazil but#1 dolar a month with 1 free month is just too much of a blessing#nonsims#non sims
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just saw someone call charles' career 'common successes' the pole to win ratio agenda is too severe because in no way is 26 poles without a championship winning car common at ALL
every time he wins it's after ten thousand trials and tribulations and his wins this year mean so much more to me than if he had a dominant car. i said it last year and i think so doubly now that he impresses me with every race like he is him and i truly think he is the best.
#'similar career stats to lando' eh... eh.........#no one will ever convince me this pole record isnt impressive#and the win record will catch up when he gets the car he deserves🙄#'personally dont think leclerc is very impressive' ok 😭😭 you're wrong 😭😭#either carlos sainz is an absolute shit qualifier (and he's NOT lol) or charles is really great these are the only options#anyway he constantly pulls miracles out of his ass and this take is stupid the monza drive and spa/baku poles were more impressive than#anyth lando did this season 🙄#also just look at how he dogwalks the field in quali whenever its a tight driver-dependent street circuit...#i even think lando did a good job on sunday i just think he's too error prone this year and it cost him too much#people's leclerc agendas get crazy sometimes#'its weird how people venerate him' its called being a tifosi u should try it its like being on drugs#its not OUR problem that we're having fun
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Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"
#good morning i still have hetaoni on the brain#that scene where it looks like america's going to die but turns out past loop england used the last of his strength to cast a shield on him#(+italy and germany) before sending them back to the present.... godddd#and then current loop england goes and takes on the monster america was worried about and succeeds. at the cost of going blind.#one of the very things america was afraid would happen!! he was so relieved when england survived the fight before finding that out too!!!#i don't know if this is coherent im just. they care about each other so much even though they won't say it and 😭😭😭 it makes me ill#sigh. rotating both them and hetaoni in my mind at the same time makes me so. waaughh#(also obligatory disclaimer that hetaoni doesn't label their relationship in any way them being father and son is just canon in my brain)#hetalia#hetaoni#hws america#hws england#tea dad n coffee son#personal#i have an old hetaoni wip fic that i think i intended to do more with but was mostly just about america and england as far as i got...#i can't remember the rest of my plans for it so maybe i'll shift the focus to them and try to get it finished sometime
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Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears
#I'm dreading book 4 so much#my depression got worse while reading it the first time 😭#also I don't remember exactly what but multiple times he says stuff that i think too often and having a fictional character say that l#ridiculous stuff caused by mental illness made me feel even worse#it helped! because it hit me how stupid it is and that i should avoid that type of thinking at all costs! but didn't i feel like shit for a#while#now i almost finished book 1 and book 2 has Shallan's past 😬😬😬😬😬#can't wait to read again about her horrible childhood locked home with a violent father that take out his rage at her on others#that won't make me feel horrible at all!#it's not like i wasn't almost crying just at her getting an anxiety attack at the beginning#....these books feels awfully aimed at me fjskdks#the stormlight archive#cosmere
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John really likes to annoy Dirk and see him irritated until Dirk genuinely smiles for once he gets SO MUCH CUTENEES AGRESSION he wants to punch objects to dust and eat it with an inner monologue repeating "KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM"
But for Dirk, he could detect when John is Not actually expressing the real emotions he's showing, until John Genuinely smiles after a crying session which Dirk DID NOT expect. He's getting cuteness agression but the calm way with his inner monologue saying "I'm in heaven." and he just wants to hold John in his arms forever.
> John looks so calm and smiley all the time but he's actually very violent and when he's very mad he would love to punch everything and make them explode to prevent himself from thinking about anything.
> Dirk looks destructive and intimidating but he's actually just a guy who likes to hold someone's hand and blush in anime.
#dirkjohn#john egbert#dirk strider#homestuck#disguisedtalking#john does NOT have a blank/empty state of mind. (he (also) has adhd TO ME)(hashtag projection)(and it fits!!)#just as dirk over thinks about how much he HATES himself -#john over thinks to cover up his trauma effectively using these violent thoughts as a distraction#and it also cost him not being able to feel or describe his emotions anymore because of repression#JOHN IS AN OVER THINKER WHO OVER THINKS HIMSELF INTO FEELIN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING(repression)(jsut like me fr)(but to be fr dont do this)#dirk wants john carnally(holding hands) while john wants dirk carnally(cannibalism)#dirk and john are both audhd but in a parallel way too im serious
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and if i said suguru’s relationship with weakness (’the preciousness of the weak, the ugliness of the weak’) was born out of his feelings towards his mother …
#.#feeling abnormal feeling extremely abnormal#i think suguru fucking haaaaaates his father but his connection to his mother is just . so much more loaded#in that sense his mommy issues are far worse but his daddy issues are definitely more . apparent#he hates his dad he’d do anything anything anythingggg never to end up like him#but he resembles his mother in many ways (the hair. the eyes. the frail heart)#and because of that his hatred/love for Her in particular is just … one big can of worms#’you shouldn’t have given birth to me. you should have saved yourself. it’s your own fault that you’re stuck with him’#etcetc#he feels pity and guilt and hatred and biological love he’d be better off without#i think his mother was very very awful to him too#but even baby sugu knew the root cause was his father#hhhhh ….#i’m a little on the fence between . ’his home life was violently abusive’#and ’his parents were obsessed with appearing normal and perfect no matter the cost’#maybe both ?#like … idk if ever got physical. but i think just the psychological torture of living in that kind of household#left scars in his soul that he’ll never get rid of#in my mind sugu’s backstory is akin to nobara’s but make it straight up horror#anyway that’s all 🙏 sugu your parental issues have bewitched me#ari noises ✩#meta ✩
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