#it just bothers me ever so slightly
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I'm watching Dragon Age Absolution, and there is Matt Mercer in the voice cast, and there is also a villain character who looks like an anime fan art of Matt Mercer, so you would think, but no, anime Matt Mercer is not voiced by Matt Mercer, Matt Mercer is voicing Fairbanks instead (with an admirable commitment to a silly French accent), while anime Matt Mercer is voiced by someone else
#I'm sorry if this post reads like it was commissioned by matt mercer and I'm being paid by each name mention#it just bothers me ever so slightly#anyway i hope the quinary mage tall lady will be a companion in da4 she's delightful#dragon age absolution
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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Whenever I watch a Beavis and Butt-Head clip on Youtube and I go down into the comments, I feel like I am going out to war.
#war against the butt-head haters#why do you all hate my horrible disgusting son so much apologize rn#he has 100 unchecked mental health issues and is the worst person you've ever met and no he is NOT going to get better#the favoritism towards beavis over butt-head proves that if you happen to display your neurodivergency in a slightly 'uncool' way#ppl will hang you for it#sorry rambling in the tags it just bothers me a lil how much ppl hate him#maybe I should compromise by making a bunch of fanart of him idk#squack#beavis and butthead#btw I am half joking about the neurodivergency part or am I? let's be real
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i don't know if fishman island era sanji is genuine flanderization or im somehow giving him too much and too little credit at the same time. and maybe i was just frustrated that he regressed so bad after two years on Gender Island when i erroneously assumed (after watching iva + co at impel down express that queerness is as close to the ultimate ideal of freedom that one piece is about as you can get) that he would be better for the experience. and i know im going to turn around on him by the time i get to whole cake island but literally brother can we cut this shit out lmao
#its just very frustrating having a main character's transmisogyny be a major plot thing when 100 episodes ago ANOTHER mc#like thee mc like The Main Guy's LACK of transmisogyny equally moved the plot forward#and all this during an arc where we're supposed to see how much everyone has grown and matured#fishman island#there was that bit when he first showed up again when he was like 'say hi to iva btw' and i was like oh! ok so he got slightly more normal#and then he really really really didnt#one piece#how is it possible to have such complicated emotions about character who is literally french#and like i know that iva like. i KNOW about the trans characters in one piece to come and i know theyre not drawn#like the women on okama island but people have been talking abt how the writing doesnt match the art forever and i finally get it#how are you presenting characters with complicated interiority and heroic arcs as the worst stereotype ever#sure bon clay's design was a joke to start and he's the most universally beloved character in the whole series#and they wrap it around like iva in impel down does have that whole 'you dont have to conform we are who we are by kesha' speech#everyone who is there looks exactly how they want to look bc they have the option via iva of looking different#but that doesnt excuse it!!!!!!!! it doesnt make it better!!!!!!!!!!! on the doyle lens!!!!!!!!#and again i know that two more of the most beloved characters in the series are trans and are not drawn with a joking hand. so ill wait#i'll wait for wano. save me wano arc save me. save me kiku#im literally past fishman island btw im in punk hazard now it just really still bothers me
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truly the sadness cant be for forever right?
#HI IM DEPRESSED AGAIN ^_^#mostly like. these past few weeks have been so stressful at work.#my overtime pay wasnt even that much honestly.#and the FIRST DAY I REALLY GET TO RELAX.#ITS TOO HOT TO MOVE OR DO ANYTHING BC OUR APARTMENT TURNED THE AC OFF FOR THE YEAR.#BC IT GOT EVER SO SLIGHTLY COOLER FOR LIKE A WEEK. BUT ITS STILL HOT!!!#so i havent done. anything. all day. but lay in bed and fuck around#im also a little bit like. does anyone actually like me anymore or am i just tolerated.#bc i think my main thing was that i made art and was funny so ppl kept me around#but now i have had no energy for art and all my skill is gone and i legit have no idea what im doing anymoreeee#i just feel like a bother....
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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My boss said "you lost weight" to me and I was like oh hahaha yeah 🙂. When like. Besides the fact that that's not true. Why do you think it's appropriate for you as a 75 year old man to comment on your 20 year old employee's body.
#I don't think he was trying to be creepy he's just clueless#i know he didn't mean anything by it but it makes me so uncomfortable#i shouldn't have to tolerate this behavior in the workplace I hate that im so programmed to just brush it off#at a different job this summer one of the owners who's an older guy came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders like wtf!!#again I dont think it was meant to be predatory or anything but it's to casual brushing aside of boundaries that really bothers me#im dealing with the same shit that my mom dealt with is it ever going to get better#i want to speak up when things bother me but it's so much easier to avoid conflict#sorry for the rant im just. slightly filled with rage :)
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people that seem to pride themselves on hating (insert thing) will never not perplex me. you could spend all this time that you spend talking in circles about shit you don't like talking about... literally anything else.
i don't know maybe i'm just a chronic Enjoyer Of Things but like. sitting around bitching about medias you don't like is so soul-sucking, especially when every time you do so you're just saying the same thing over and over again.
there's medias i dislike don't get me wrong, and i talk about disliking them from time to time, but i don't go out of my way to talk about it every other day- because like genuinely who gives a shit. all ranting constantly is doing for you is getting your blood pressure up and making you miserable. stop it. just don't interact with it. you'll feel better.
#slightly targeted woopsies#though this does span across a LOT of things#the whole 'hater mindset' and 'proud hater' shit is literally so bad there's no positive gain from it ever#this applies to literally everything by the way. idc what it is or what you hate or if it's deserved#making fun of shitty media is one thing but bitching constantly is just. why#the whole 'proud to hate x' shtick is equally as annoying as endlessly defending the thing btw#sorry i needed to rant this kind of thing just bothers me to no end#over and out there
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to everyone who has sent me the xkit fix. I appreciate it. however. I had all those things toggled on xkit already, I came to tumblr with the full xkit fix in effect, I still cannot stand the new dash
#I want the toggle dropdown menu again not a sidebar#take the sidebar AWAY I HATE it#and the center column is ever so slightly smaller than it used to be????#and that's bothering me????????#this is just. Bad.#even the 'fixed' version is Bad#xkit put the sidebar back into a dropdown or so help me god this might just. stop me from spending that much time on tumblr.
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worldbuilding tips/videos/articles will be like "this is genre-neutral! you can use this to build any world just ignore what doesnt apply :)" and then exclusively include stuff about building magic systems and fantasy elements and sci-fi tech and aliens. like thats not genre-neutral thats exclusively speculative fiction of a fairly standard variety (tropey high fantasy and sci-fi only) 😭
#97#me when my worldbuilding does involve magic but these things also do not help bc they STILL always rely on trope-following#like. if the only way to worldbuild magic is to create a magic system that has magic users and rules for using magic#then youve already forgotten entire other ways of worldbuilding#(such as like.. magic existing within the environment and not being used by people or only as a fringe practice?)#and that doesnt rly bode well for claiming to teach ppl worldbuilding..#like the thing that bothers me ig isnt just like “oh this isnt useful to me personally” its more like.#you make so many limiting assumptions about what can and cannot even BE built into a fictional world before you even start anything#and if you are this limited in your scope and imagination and creativity you are not good at teaching worldbuilding?#if your advice hinges on the assumption that everyone ever is just creating a slightly different version of either tolkien or star wars...
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BACCANO! 1935(-B) ARC SPOILER!
Hm.... Did I ever think to include the Carlotta groupies' "Kill Melvi, Frame Him as a Gandor Spy, Pin Murder on Claire" plan on my 1935 plot points compilation list? I'd better do that if I didn't.
#Author: Rev#Post: Text#Baccano!#I *want* to think I did but there's a decent chance I didn't because...c'mon.#It's one of the least likely and least relevant ones.#They can't kill him and they're zero-bit characters we don't care about.#Nevertheless: in the spirit of the butterfly effect their attempts at interference have the potential to alter 1935-Events ever so slightly.#As all characters' actions do.#Provided Narita remembers / bothers to even follow-up on this in 1935-E E E Eyyyyy#LN19-Ch12 they're all 'Melvi is playing Family negotiator on top of usurping Carlotta? Another excuse for murder!'#but I always forget because I'm single-mindedly glued to Keith.#Later in LN19's second linking ch. Melvi is all 'call off your shadowy dogs Carlotta!'#And Carlotta is all 'can't make me because I'm not making them. they're just Like That on their own'.#but I always ignore that because I'm focusing on the themes re: greed / desire / personal identity.#March 15th 2023
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eh now that im thinking about it again i think maybe my problem with fandom is mainly just that its completely incapable of remotely understanding how any sort of interpersonal relationship works in the slightest and portrays them in the most ridiculous stupid ways not only is everyone ridiculously too emoteionally expressive and self aware and way too eager to therapise each other and discuss things in ways that no one really ever would but they also way overstate the way the characters even think about these things and then when its not the writers invented versions of the characters psycological states its always just about stupid internet subculture memes that i refuse to believe anyones even capable of finding funny or else the other way of completely misunderstanding interpersonal relationships which is making everything about romance or family structures its either throwing away all their actual relationship to just be about kissing and they love me they love me nots and honestly i reckon its actually worse when you actually ship them cause then your actually invested in their relationship and think they could actually have a romantic relationship while still resembling the actual characters relationship, at least if you dont really ship them its less annoying and you can just appreciate it as a random story. and the only other thing these people are interested in writing about tends to be totally misinterpreting the non romantic relationships as well like its hard to believe these people have ever actually had family if this is how they write them but i suppose they can at least acknowledge thats actually a valid reason to care about someone? plus the ways they always have to make non familial relationships into family like its especially ridiculous who they think has a parent and child relationship like seriously just admit your brains too small to comprehend more than too types of relationships. also they way theyll insist characters have a parent child relationship based entirely on the fact that its the kid of one of the characters they ship together i mean thats just getting obsessive not everything has to support your ship and its ridiculous to think that every kid would see their parents partner as a parent let alone the way they insist its like this with adults like ypu know they can still have a good relationship and everyone can get on great without them getting another parent when theyre literally in their twenties
#theres so many things that annoy me about fandom isnt there#my last post still stands but i reckon thats not the main thing#really theres loads of things though#but literally like its hard to believe its even like this like how do people come up with these interpretations unironically#i mean i know it feeds itself and grows on its own flesh but like still#again not my people#whatever#urgh the whole tone of this feels so flat i dont know why thats annoying#is that better than horribly pissed off at everything#i was just typing it as i thought of it its all stuff ive thought before i suppose im just recalling it to put down#its weird how weird everything is like i dont really feel anything like ever or at least not now#this doesnt even sound particularly smugly judgemental or ironically pathetically ridiculous like it probably should#i mean the ridiculous stuffy voice is still there with all the stupid bloody essay word choices and rubbish#urgh i cant be bothered to analyse my self expression and what it shows about my mental state and presentation of myself right now#even though its definitely something there about that something#though to be honest the stuffy wording randomly coming up in places is a bit of a habit whenever i use my brain even slightly for anything#i just write what comes to mind and cant be bothered to think of the wording cause apparently my brains to small to think#two thoughts at once#not exactly a surprise i only ever read fanfiction is it#it really takes up a lot less brain space and effort and its quicker and doesnt make me think etc#dont know why even non deep books are more effort
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You know they should make more demon lord digimon. Just for the hell of it. There’s still Dante's inferno's rings of hells. Violence might be a bit redundant but Heresy, Fraud and Treachery could make for fun new digimon. It'd help them match better with the Royal Knights too at least in numbers
#digimon#dinu yells into the void#dinu yells in the void#just think it would be fun. might incite bandai too to start using them all more#i love the demon lords and royal knights like. at least conceptually. really fascinating mons to me#and i wish they were all used more#and tbh it does bother me slightly that the RKs outnumber the dls so much like just based on a petty numerical symmetry thing#im not sure how popular dantes inferno is in japan so maybe thats why the dante inferno rings of hell werent ever used but idk. better late#then never
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My dad was gonna be in the area so I asked him to bring me something. I watched him drive to the location seven minutes from me, stay there for a couple hours, and then drive all the way home, and THEN he texted me that I could figure it out myself. What’s even the point in having parents😐
#like the LEAST he could’ve done is tell me no#rather than making me wait all that time thinking that MAYBE he was actually going to do it#literally 7 minutes away not a bother at all#this coming from the man who constantly says he would die for me#sure but apparently won’t be slightly inconvieneved to bring me something I asked for#fairly certain he just forgot#he also told me he was going to come over yesterday and then didn’t#again I waited and watched him drive passed this neighborhood on the way home#also asked my mom if she could possibly come out here to bring me the thing I wanted#she ignored me#so badly want to just stop doing things for them#but if *i* were to do it I would be causing problems and breaking the peace#so sick of this I don’t ever want either of them to complain about me ever again#sorry it was so hard parenting me when you literally did nothing out of your way ever#it’s such a small thing but it’s literally the orange peel test and they always fail every time
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Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi
#can't even jokingly say slurs like saying fag instead of drudge wasn't The joke#like ciel took his earrings out at school right he was trying to be normal at normal boy school and they are all using slurs in their...#...everyday social setup their whole social world within the school at least relies on every important guy having a guy who will do...#...anything for him which is literally ciel's entire bit but normie#anyway whatever i am not going to explicate every joke at play here but what really annoys me about the shojo sparkles joke getting cut...#...is that it's being used in different places like vincent got shojo sparkles yesterday and ciel's at the beginning but like that is...#...supposed to be the joke-y indicator this is NOT normie shojo school so why did these have to get animated so FLAT#like you mean you can't imply any subtext about ciel bc it would be problematic. this is a story that is literally ABOUT people playing...#...at who they are not. the whole series and every character is set on that premise. and you're going to cultivate an environment where...#...viewers accept that any kind of subtext at all is inherently problematic and needs cut from the story#like they could have cut more and i am interested to see how they're going to handle things like ciel getting carried off of the field. but#it's more uncomfortable to me to be like no being a gay teenager is inherently problematic actually he can't be gay but he can be...#...straight engaged to his cousin in earnest even though the narrative has established how that is fake too.#and not dipping into the whole sebastian thing fully but then you have a setup where you have made it unacceptable to tell any gay story...#...that might be slightly problematic even though here it genuinely is a lot of subtext you have to understand that there is subtext to get#and there is the element here with them too where they are liars and they are playacting. that's part of what makes the story so complex...#...and interesting!! is trying to decipher who is lying and why the world they live in makes them have to lie to survive#it's doing a massive disservice to this story to approach it from the angle of someone might think on that too hard and think it's...#...inappropriate :( let's be the yen press and tweet something about sebastian being a mom so no one has to question what they're looking a#in a STORY THAT'S ABOUT QUESTIONING THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT#i don't even care about shipping this is just cultivating a massive media literacy problem where you are being encouraged to take a story..#..at face value and you can't make dark jokes and you can't make stories about problematic gay people#it also bothers me bc this story has been really popular in japan for like 20 years without the mass public being in a constant state of...#...is this demon his boyfriend or dad :( like they're just fucking watching it ahdjrf#that also bothers me bc it's like you guys can't engage with any grey area relationship in a story where it doesn't fit into a box#but anyways why can japan engage with it to make it as popular and long lasting as it is and not everyone else don't say bc japan is...#...full of freaks who only like freak stories. this is also symptomatic of things i have complained about elsewhere on this blog that us...#...dub culture has cultivated an environment where us normal cool americans are going to tell freakish japanese people how to engage...#...with their counterculture cartoons in the Right way without ever having to engage with another country's culture or a story in general.#my kuro posts
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Why am I flipping tf out over my roommate going into my room when I wasn't home and leaving a package on my bed it's literally not a big deal and they were trying to be helpful but I am shaking right now I should be happy I got my new favorite shirt but I'm so angry
#Like genuinely seething with rage over something so innocuous I shouldn't be angry#But at the same time I'm like...#The door was shut. When did I ever say you could come in here (I didn't). I wasn't home. Don't touch my stuff. You could have left it#Outside the door. My room is a mess and they saw. AND DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF#I feel like I shouldn't have to sit them down and be like 'hey I don't want you going in my room when I didn't say you could go in there'#Like I feel like that's common sense when u live with other people but I guess not?????#Like it really bothers me cuz I'd NEVER go into someone's room when they weren't there w/o express permission#Fucks sake I linger outside the doorway til they say I can come in when they are there and we're talking#I feel like that's just basic decency because it's their space#Why can't you respect mine and not go in my room when you don't have permission?????#At least text me first????!#THE DOOR WAS SHUT THATS WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING ME#THE DOOR WAS SHUT WHY WOULD YOU LOOK AT A CLOSED DOOR TO SOMEONE'S BEDROOM AND JUST WALK IN WITHOUT EVER ASKING#Sorry. I know I'm being super irrational right now#I just. My mom used to go through my stuff when I lived at home and throw out whatever she wanted#She would wait until I left the house and then throw things out and leave the rest in a giant pile of trash on the floor#It was always when I was having a decent day too. She'd treat me totally normally the whole way home and then I'd walk into my room to it#Absolutely destroyed and her response was always a cool 'well you should have cleaned it then'#I used to have to dig through the garbage to get the stuff I had attachments to back#She once threw out an entire shoebox filled with my drawings because it was 'too messy' but literally the lid was slightly askew from being#Overfilled. Instead of getting me a bigger container or another shoebox she just fucking tossed it#I lost so much childhood art from that it's part of the reason I refuse to throw anything I've ever drawn away#Anyway this is why I'm overreacting and being irrational and not letting people walk all over me with no complaints#Don't worry though I'm working on squishing any other reservations I have about being a doormat#That way in a couple more years I'll just be a shell of a person and then people will finally like having me around#AJDGDHDHDBMSBDGDJDHDBDMDBDBDN#Grumble grumble
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