#it just also feels like a scam
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Oof. The problem with publishing a fic across more than three years while working consistently on improving your writing during that time is that it makes it REALLY hard to enjoy the early parts of the story when you look back at them.
Idk, there's just something deeply ironic about the fact that I wrote this story for myself and that the very act of continuing to write has made me less capable of enjoying it. Because all I see now is what I could have / should have done differently if only I'd learned some of these lessons earlier T-T
#I try to re-frame it as pride in how much I've grown#Because the fact that I see so many areas for improvement is proof that I know much more now than I did back then#it just also feels like a scam#like what do you MEAN I did all the work of bringing this thing into the world and don't get to reap the benefits??#Also it's sad realizing that in a few more years the same thing will happen with anything I am working on now dfgkd#Personal#Writing#My fics#Sorry for the negativity#I just. Blegh.
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dont think they will learn anything#i know its pessimistic but like#as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it#i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings#i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors#which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost#and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition#like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol#i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it#i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned#and i dont think i will ever buy one again#and might regret that#i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way#but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on#and i worry for the future bc the “story is the least important part” guy and “lol you can only like the old games bc nostalgia” guy-#-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better#especially after totks success
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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listen,….. we don’t know y hermie didn’t grow up with his dads but i already know its going to DEVASTATE ME when anthony tells us bc i know they would have loved the little joker, our sweet little thespian (also big brother nick hellooooooo)
#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndaddies#jodie foster#scam likely#hermie the unworthy#scam actually#nick close#nick foster#nicholas foster#nicholas close#scodie#idk wtf is their ship name someone help#my art#wasn’t originally gonna make a lil comic but then i was like what if they didn’t tell nick and he comes home one day to hell and hermie is j#just there and everyone’s like o FUCK WE DIDNT TELL U LOL#also the idea that hermie is just now learning of his true family and he has a uncle and brother and two dads he’s never met but (i hope i b#believe i want it to be true) they love him v v much and the thought of nick meeting hermie and immediately taking on a big brother role mal#makes me wanna CRY bc he’s already taylor’s friend and yeah he said trust no one but he’s good to his son and he’s his baby brother who he’s#never met but what if he just feels v protective over him bc he’s been thru so much already and is now having an identity crisis bc WHO IS H#HERMIE??? like idk it’s a bit melancholic to think abt what if they were in each other’s lives??? how would have nick been as a big bro???#sigh it’s 2am and i have work in 5 ish hours but i just had to get this outttt
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i lied here’s another one
#ignore how the two flames are in different artstyles ❤️#anyway#been spinning sampo and his relationship with money around in my head#like a lot#on one hand he has a near obsession with money but still states epsilon’s obsession with it as one of the reasons why he dislikes epsilon#(in the cn text at least which IS the original sooo)#then he also starts flaunting cash before even opening his mouth when some snipers are after him#ik offering money so some guys don’t kill you is reasonable but he lets go of it so easily it feels like he doesn’t really care about it#like getting the money through scams and stuff is the fun part for him not actually owning the money#imagine risking your head just to get some cash you don’t really care about anyway#what if you burn it#wouldn’t that be funny#sampo koski#my art#hsr
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So as I've maybe mentioned before I have a backlog of comics/drawings/animatics/fic I've done over the years that I haven't published bc my experience for posting art has always sucked ngl but like I wondered if anybody would be interested in one of those 'send me a confirmation of a donation to a vetted Palestinian fundraiser'-things to then get back a randomized item of those mentioned - upon consideration of requests like, whether you'd like to see something about Mike's or Jay's characters (unforch I don't have much abt Rich but there's some stray Plinketts).
#blortchmod#rlm#since there's been an uproar of like 'the vetted fundraisers are scams!!' i thought well#you can get mad at me instead#maybe if ppl feel like they get somt back from it then it might be easier#bc from my knowledge ppl on here don't rly have much to spare idk#let's just tryyy for now i'm just asking#also there'd be tiers...#ig there's also 2 compilations that might be worth sharing but we shall see#rlmblr#redlettermedia#red letter media#art#jay#mike
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Ren got a normal little acorn from a tiny squirrel and loved it so much that he just. carries it around everywhere. in his pocket. because it was so cute that he found it soothing. he had no clue it was even important, it was just a tiny acorn gift. he showed it to Kyoko who immediately also loved it so much that she made an adorable little chain and holder so he could carry it more easily. which he then shows off don't tell me to stop yelling
#knick they knacks#skip beat#on top of the fact that Kyoko is SquirrelCoded™ in Rens mind like are you KIDDING ME#i'm sorry but its the cutest thing that he imagines her with a fluffy squirrel tail when she's being adorable#also get fucked Murasame fdjgkhfdkj the poor dude. acornless...#but also get fucked to Koga for matching with Ren#it feels like they got scammed but Ren was just like 'omg for me ty' bc hell yeah he's gonna cherish it. thriving#im banging pots and pans together im bouncing off the walls HE SHARED IT WTIH KYOKO N SHE MADE A LIL. HOLDER FOR IT#HE JUST HAS IT IN HIS POCKET AT ALL TIMES#im gonna chew through my plywood desk
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i'm sure this has been touched on before but i'll never get over how privileged one must be to make disgusting assumptions about gofundmes assisting palestinians fleeing an ongoing genocide being scams. y'all had no problem paying for checkmarks here on tumblr and donating to ao3 but the minute you're asked to do the bare minimum regarding supporting palestine outside of performative activism it's an issue. not to mention how blatantly racist that entire line of thinking is to begin with!
#even though i don't have a large following i still do whatever it takes to boost gfms and assist palestinians in need#and i don't do it because i feel like i'm gonna get something in return; i don't feel like i NEED something in return#to add on: it's also extremely privileged to say how 'tired' you are of seeing gfm campaigns#and getting messages in your inbox#when palestinians are tired of being subjected to a genocide on the land that they're indigenous too#i just wanted to make a post detailing how i felt about this because the whole 'scam' discourse has been going on for a month and a half#palestine#free palestine#i stand with palestine
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I was gonna write a big essay on why the film making for a lot of gmmtv shows I've watched don't do it for me as a larger reflection on why I don't bother with the studio at large and how I think they do their fans/audiences dirty
but I'm really fucking lazy and also idk if I want that heat
#mostly been thinking about that question “why do boc shows look so much better than other thai studios”?#and expanding on that answer#but also b/c i'm so bleeeeeh on ppl overhyping things like#i feel hustled scammed bamboozled hood winked led astray!#plus ppl would take it the wrong way and be like “so you think everyone who likes xxx gmmtv show is trash”#no baby watch what you want and be happy be blissful#just stop lying to me that the production values are oh so amazing when they mid at best a majority of the time#chaos pikachu speaks#also i feel like to talk good film making you gotta talk bad film making too#compare and contrast and all#but again idk if i want that heat lmao
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hi, I remembered about the ask about the vampire abilities (time travel, walking in the sun, compulsion) and I need to ask, what are the werewolf abilities?
and Steve own abilities since he can become a giant werebat and being the most convincing conman
Hi there!
So, werewolves can shapeshift into canines of course. But they also heal faster than humans, are stronger than humans, and they have a generally better sense of smell and hearing!
I also like to think they can see in the dark pretty well, too.
Steve specifically has... Well, his stuff is kind of messy. Werewolves and their relation to the moon and its cycle combined with vampires relationship to time led him to being unable to control his time travel, and instead it's forced around the cycle of the moon. This sort of goes with everything. He doesn't need blood to do things, but the werebat is insatiably hungry. It's extremely powerful, but uncontrollable. He doesn't need permission to enter a residence, but he also is incapable of compelling people.
The sort of thematic representation of this is all about his general place in the story as someone who has absolutely no choice, and that frustration of your agency being taken from you.
Him being a 'convincing conman' is a survival tactic, to be honest. It can make the difference between eating and not. With his only real benefit from all this supernatural upheaval being heightened senses, he's just become really observational and is able to read a room and adapt to it immediately. It's about the only thing that's kept him alive, besides the werebat... so really, it's the only thing that's kept the werebat out.
Some of this is admittedly getting into spoiler territory, though, but I do intend to canonize some things! I'm happy to delve more into the specifics once it's happened :)
#this makes no sense HAHAHAHA#if I were to get into each individual ability it's...#kind of handwavy#the most important thing to me is that it enhances the themes#Steve is someone with no choice but to do things that are 'wrong'#he HAS to steal he HAS to break and enter or whatever he HAS to lie#if he doesnt he WILL die#and he tries to do these things with as much of his morals intact as he can#like it's necessary for him. he's been thrown into random places in random time periods with 0 help repeatedly for a YEAR...#if he doesnt con his way into a meal and a place to stay sometimes. he's not gonna make it! its just how it works#hes a guy who has picked up a lot of odd jobs and gotten into a lot of really rough situations#so. yeah#I also dont really like to think of him as a con man to be honest#he's not conning people out of their money really#he's not coming up with ruses#it's not like... scams...#it's like lying that he's a movie extra so he can stay in a hotel when there's a film going on in the area#so it's different. TO ME#he's never gonna be calling an old lady telling her that he needs 100 dollars in itunes giftcards lol#THATS scams THATS conning#anyways#I feel strongly about him#obviously LOL#asks#anon#steve#time and time again stuff#lore#idk what I tag this shit man I forget everything
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totk made me feel like i got scammed so badly i dont think i want to get any new zelda on release and instead wait until i know its worth it
im afraid zelda will turn into half baked games with flashy imagery to distract you from its shitty writing and superficial references to older games to catch your nostalgia, that the name alone will sell anyway so why try
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#might have said that before#kinda like pokemon#where you can feel the potential stare in your face but its not being used#and new games being pushed out for the sake of new game#i wonder if totk turned out like this bc they have been focusing on the movie thing#bc its easier money?#and the mario film was so popular#i know totk started develeopment earlier ... probably#but something getting messed up can happen any time#guess i have been too annoying on twitter about it#despite not nearly talking about it as much as here#people going -you just expected too much lol-#shut up!! i wanted a sequel and its not#its not even a good zelda imo#i dont have to be some mindless hater to criticze things that are obviously lacking#also i made the mistake of not censoring -scammed- and immediately got swarmed by bots on twitter lmao
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Also I've been in this fandom for like 2.5 seconds approximately and I don't respect a single one of y'all BUT cmiiw the girlypop high femme lesbian mommy etcetc whatever PSH is a fairly new development isn't it. Like my first bias was Sanini but then I realized HJ is a diversely creative fairy prince who wears half-skirts, paints his nails and talks about fashion for men AND women and I was like O YES HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MINE HI. It's fascinating that apparently there's a whole genre of fans who see Joongie as the masculine dom to Hwa's willow-waisted femme omega bottom when like... They both have "masculine" and "feminine" traits. Above all that they're cool fun guys and I like them a lot (assigning gender to personality trait is finest grade dumbassery, not to mention gender essentialism. I don't recommend doing that)
#shrimp thoughts#just 2 be clear please do NOT take me for one of those nuts who make fun of people for seeing the 'wrong' character as the top/bottom#eg 'HE a TOP??? he's the SUBBIEST BOTTOM EVER lmfao whoever said this is a cishet teenage girl and doesn't know shit!!!'#I do not do that. However I generally don't like to see characters as strictly tops/strictly bottoms based on anything other than yknow.#Their canonically stated preferences (if they exist). Like cmon it's all fiction. 仲良くしましょう。#Same for like... that fortune teller or whatever telling San he's got feminine energy. First of all it's all a scam and I'm kinda#side-eyeing KQ for repeatedly sending the teezers to fortune tellers like y'all what. But second of all if Korea is anything like Japan the#their understanding of *sigh* feminine and masculine personality traits is different. See: Tomboy the song#to a westerner the girls are not even CLOSE to tomboys but in Japan a 'boyish' girl is simply one that's confident assertive#and takes no shit. so I wouldn't be surprised if San's 'femininity' was just his warmth and gentleness. though I wouldn't count these as#'feminine' traits -- if anything I'd talk about positive masculinity ALTHOUGH the way he talks about treating his potential future#daughters/the fanservicey lines about men needing to protect women/the things we know about his upbringing make me feel like he#has some... traditional ideas of masculinity in that a man is supposed to be emotionally resilient/not show weakness when his family#needs a strong pillar to lean on/protect what's his. but he's simply like... not a toxic asshole about it. his sincerity cuteness and#fondness of being a physically affectionate kittycat also help lol#anyway. that was julian's bullshit psychoanalysis corner. thankz
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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Stop giving people moral ocd or I'm gonna pepper spray your underwear drawer
#You don't know what kind of activism people participate in offline you don't know if they donate to Palestine AND AO3#Unless you spend a lot of time with them in person (in which case talk to them offline- we don't need to see that)#You do not fucking know these people!#Stop assuming the worst in others!#Why do you feel the need to berate the broke bitch website for being broke bitches?#Some of y'all sound just like the “Oh but you're not too poor to buy an iPhone” crowd#And imo that's far more embarrassing to be#Also some of the asks that have been going around ARE scams#And I have seen people who are verifying accounts asking you not to fucking share those#“Oh but the scammers probably need it more than me anyway”#1. If you're working minimum wage like I am no they fucking don't#2. Do they need it more than real Palestinians? The people you could be helping instead?#“Let's not play oppression Olympics” yeah okay!#Let's start by not shaming people who don't have money to share just because they're American and you personally don't believe they're poor#See how this works?#Also I HAVE seen at least 3 gfm reach their goals#2 raised the goal. One started a new gfm#So before you despair about nobody reaching their goals maybe check the notes? Just a thought.#I'm sure those 3 aren't the only ones
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What do English people call a close? You know, the stairwell bit where all the flats are in a tenement? If you go to visit someone at their flat, what do you call the bit where you wait for them to answer their door? That communal stairs… area?
("Modern AUs don't require research" MAYBE IF YOU'RE ENGLISH THEY DON'T 😭)
#no i can't google it that just gets me “word that mean the same as close: near; next-to; intimate” and so on#godddd it was bad enough to be reminded that they don't call juice 'juice' wasn't it#i think i should try to cut a chapter or two from my outline - at this rate when i finish 12 chapters there'll be 3 readers left for it 💀#but the POV alternates which complicates cutting whole chapters out. hrm.#...wait there's no rule that says you can only post one part at a time is there? i could do it in sets of 3 or something couldn't it?#and that way nobody's forced to wait a week or whatever for the crucial Actually They Are Scamming Each Other reveal at the start#also i am starting to rethink the 'finish it all first' approach as it turns out i hate sitting on finished chapters and just get impatient#SO WHAT IF... what if i write the first three chapters and post those and then worry about the rest of it later?#it leaves the scary chance of it staying a WIP forever but i don't think anyone's on the edge of their seats for a sylki scammer AU anyway#OKAY I'LL DO THAT (feel free to try to convince me not to tho)#wait do they even have tenements in that london#a while ago i found out my address contains an unacceptable character because tenements are mostly just a scottish thing#and i was like “oh so THAT'S why websites refuse to believe it could be a real flat number?” nae tenements ootside the central belt! wtf!#...how do you even fit flats into buildings there then? do yous just arrange them in some weird tardislike liminal space?#where do you keep the stairs then? D:#*strange hand movements as i attempt to map out this bizarre topology that is apparently normal everywhere else in the uk*
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animal jam is great as long as you dont find out about the racism
#guess who found out about the racism#tbf idk why it took me so long. genuinely i thought ppl were just unaware#as opposed to being culturally appropriative knowingly & simply not caring#i know its just a video game but doesnt it make it worse then if you are unwilling to avoid using a literally racist item#the justifications i have heard for trading or wearing it are INSANE#and also proof that even in a video game appropriation can do damage like. oh my god?#in case it wasnt clear im talking about headdresses in animal jam. You know.#the item removed bc it was appropriative#but golly gee gosh its rare guys. better trade it and wear it to prove ur rich#also somebody got passive aggressive with me in an aj based disc server when i pointed out it was appropriative#“you cant control people” im not trying to im asking that they stop being racist#also yes its just a video game but its a popular one and i would fully argue it is teaching ppl to ignore their actions if it benefits them#then again ig i shouldnt be shocked there#game with rampant hacking and scamming also has a tendency to teach players to benefit regardless of consequence?#who couldve predicted this#animal jam#vent#<- i guess?#it feels kind of dumb to vent about animal jam of all things tbh#but also. like. idk its a beloved childhood game#and im allowed to be kinda disappointed that so many ppl on aj are willing to be mildly racist
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