#it just *feels* like death stranding
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Having certain music tied to specific experiences is so:
Every time I listen to anything off Zaba, I have such an insane longing for Death Stranding its so intense AAGHHHH
#sometimes i forget this wasnt genuinely in the soundtrack 😭😭#well it was for me!#its been 3+ years and it still hits me so hard#it just *feels* like death stranding#i feel like im playing it when i listen to this#it makes me feel a lot of emotional turmoil i guess#very heavy nostalgia#but like ill never experience it in the same way so 😞#its just crazy how much the essence of ds clings to these songs still#if only i drew animatics for this </3#anyways. best album of all time. nothing can compete#catie.rambling.txt
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i love her sm
#this is amelie but im gonna tag him too bc i feel like it. the line between them is blurry after all :-)#amelie strand#higgs monaghan#death stranding#would have done more on this one but i was working on it when the election was called. just wanted to move on after that#art tag
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I don’t know I don’t have a good caption for this.
#the first time i draw Heartman and it’s just a silly little doodle in the background i feel like i did him dirty 😭#my art#death stranding#death stranding 2#higgs monaghan#heartman
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Order 38. Undelivered.
#conscydraws#death stranding#I was soooo confused#Everyone was so chatty just a moment ago#I've been feeling watched and tracked every fucking second#Hi Sam. Here's some more work Sam. Don't build your generator here Sam. Sam Sam Sam Goddamit!#And when I needed them the most everyone suddenly fell silent and I was standing there like an idiot not knowing what to do#Luckily prior to that I disposed of some Junk Dealer's trash in attempt to win his trust (spoiler: it didn't work!)#so I connected the dots by myself#But still i felt uneasy and furious that my comm works only one way#I understand. game mechanics and all that.#But I've really felt myself in the skin of Sam in that moment#I like that DS is so immersive#But I would prefer that they wouldn't write the contents of the package so openly#Let the people find it out by themselves#death stranding fanart#death stranding spoilers#sam porter bridges#higgs monaghan#videogames#silly comics
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The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.
And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.
#cause even if it got to Curly snapping and killing Jimmy for the sakes of the crew would you not have that guilt in being responsible for#anothers death espcially with all the responsibility on his shoulder and how he realizes he tried to be reponsible for things and made them#worse like the guilt drives Jimmy insane even if he doesnt admit like imagine Curly who would care so much and wonder if it shouldve#been him not to mention Anya being free from Jimmy but still not his actions and having to navigate still being stuck with the pregnancy an#the shallow feeling because relief doesn't mean happiness like i think shed believe shed be happier that Jimmy cant get to her anymore but#what now that their stuck? That the Captain is faltering and they are stranded for like another 6 months? If they even make it that long?#Like he may be gone but all his damage is still there and thr wounds fresh like its such a good concept i just cant divide my attention lik#that as i am still in college and it is sadly midterms#anyway uhhhh I just really want to write a fic where Curly and Anya can have that hard conversation on how he handled Jimmy constructively#and without him looking like undercooked skirt steak like there would be those moments where it lingers between the monotiny of staying#alive but how would they even address it? what comes first the sorry or the list of why he should be? like Curly places a lot of value on#his use to others and its interesing and subtle and its mostly directed between Jimmy who steers it and Anya who rides along with it#like go the thoughts and ideas i have but not the fuckin time!!!!#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#also daisuke and swansea are there but like i still have to think of the reflections they have and how to play with their characters in thi#idea world but yeah I want Curly to make amends and Anya to rediscover her autonomy and living outside that fear.
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I saw a post mentioning how Matt most likely has ADHD, and since I 100% agree, I wanted to elaborate a bit here (also because I’ll approach it from a matt/mello angle and I don’t want to annoy anyone who doesn’t ship them). I’ve also noticed that this is a headcanon that many people share, so I’d like to delve deeper into it. I’ve been meaning to write a mini-analysis on why these two are so compatible due to their neurodivergences. Please keep in mind that English isn’t my native language so sorry for any mistakes, and I’ll be projecting a lot of myself here, so be kind XDD
It’s not crazy to think that Matt might have ADHD based on the few clues we have in canon. Mogui and Misa’s escape could indeed be attributed to good planning, and not necessarily Matt’s fault, but the guy makes it clear that he’s absolutely bored to death having to keep watch and is always glued to his console.
And you might say: Nadiu, just because he gets bored watching something static doesn’t mean he has trouble concentrating. Sure, it’s normal to get bored. But Matt is aware of how important it is to keep watch, and even then, he can’t help it. If his brain doesn’t receive enough stimuli, he dieeeees (which could be an indicator of his giftedness), and he’ll seek out little dopamine boosts wherever he can. If it’s not gaming, it’ll be eating junk food. If it’s not eating, it’ll be smoking. This could indicate a certain level of anxiety (again, a possible indicator of giftedness or ADHD).
We also know he’s someone who hates the outdoors. Why might this be? For someone with ADHD, being surrounded by too much stimulation can be overwhelming. Gifted people will tend to notice everything around them, and those with 2e (gifted + ADHD) may struggle to focus their attention if they’re overstimulated. They pick up on all the stimuli and can’t focus on just one. This could lead them to prefer isolating themselves, at least occasionally, especially when they reach burnout.
Another thing to consider is his lack of sociability. This doesn’t have to be exclusive to ADHD because it’s also common among gifted people, even without 2e. For gifted people, socializing can be hard if there’s nothing engaging to take away from a conversation (our greatest enemy is small talk hahhaha). This doesn’t apply to everyone, but it’s a fairly common factor. We like to keep our brains stimulated 24/7.
Now imagine someone who perceives everything around them, analyzes every detail, and can’t discern what’s important and what isn’t. They’re chatting with you, but instead of focusing on what you’re saying, they can’t help but notice your eyelid twitching e.g., which might mean you’re stressed, and then they start thinking about all the possible reasons you might be stressed. Meanwhile, there are countless sounds and stimuli around them that they can’t ignore. It’s going to be hard for them to really listen to you, and they might not feel at peace until they get home, where they can finally relax. Gifted people can also be sensitive to light and sound; in our homes, we control everything. They’re our safe spaces.
Again, this doesn’t have to be true for everyone. Let’s remember that every person is unique.
That leads me to Mello—he’s an example of how someone can be gifted and still be sociable. I don’t think Mello has any neurodivergence beyond his giftedness, without 2e (adhd or autism). I know there’s some debate about whether giftedness counts as a neurodivergence, but let’s assume it does for the sake of this post ahhahah
I think the most interesting trait of Mello, in terms of his giftedness, is his hyper-demanding nature. We tend to be perfectionists, extremely demanding of ourselves, which leads to low frustration tolerance. We want to achieve excellence and can become obsessive in pursuing our goals. However, we’re very likely to encounter obstacles (without obstacles there’s no growth), but we often don’t know how to deal with them. Needless to say, this ties in with Near, who is a prodigy, and with Mello’s inferiority complex.
So, why are Matt and Mello such a good match?
First of all, in Wammy’s House, Matt didn’t pose a threat to Mello. Matt was ranked third, and whether it was due to a lack of interest or difficulties with studying, he never surpassed Mello. For Mello, anything below him wasn’t important; what deserved all his attention was whatever was above him.
We have to assume they maintained some kind of friendship at Wammy’s House because years later, when Mello is left on his own, he reaches out to Matt, and Matt comes to his aid. Matt drops everything to go to him. He knows what he’s getting into, the risks involved, and yet he does it. He must have some motivation to help find Kira. And if it’s alongside his old friend, even better.
Here’s where the sociability factor comes in. How many friendships could an introverted guy have made in those five years, after losing the ‘shelter’ of an orphanage full of kids similar to him and being thrown into the real world, surrounded by neurotypical people? You get what I mean, right...? Mello must have left some sort of mark on him if Matt went all the way to New York for him. Could it be that he was already in New York? Maybe, but let me dream hahaha
Now imagine how an introvert and an extrovert, both incapable of forming and maintaining relationships with others due to that sense of being misunderstood (‘the world is neurotypical and I’ve never dealt with it’), complement each other. This makes me think about Near’s loneliness, but we’ll leave that for another day XD Matt works from the safety of home, and Mello, obsessed with success, has no problem going out because he takes the world head-on. Matt, who has likely felt somewhat useless his whole life because of his ADHD, has Mello by his side telling him “I choose you”. Matt, who might have always been a bit insecure, has Mello betting on him. Maybe because he has no other choice? Maybe, but if Mello wants to find someone else who can truly understand him, his only option is Matt.
Mello, who’s willing to blow himself up to win, then has Matt telling him, “Calm down. Stay in tonight to play video games and smoke a joint.” Mello, who has some suicidal idea for catching Kira, shares it with Matt, and Matt agrees because his brain has produced more dopamine in two months than in five years. The Kira case is a puzzle that stimulates them and gives them a purpose.
To wrap this up, I want to share a dialogue (still a rough draft) that will appear later in my fic, putting the cherry on top of this tragedy. Matt tries to dissuade Mello from pursuing the Kira case after the massive scar he earned on his face.
Matt: Why is it your duty to keep going? Why yours? Mello: Who else will do it? Who can keep up with Kira? Matt: You, right? Or Near. Or me. Because we had the sheer luck of being born with this intellect. Mello: Yes. Matt: No. You and I have no duty to a society that failed us. We don’t have to fix the problems of a society that let us rot in that institution. Is it because we’re orphans? Is that it? Do we have nothing to lose but our lives? No one to mourn us if we die? Because there are plenty of other people out there with the abilities you and I have, and I don’t see them risking their necks the way you do. They weren’t pushed to become detectives. They have something to lose; they have their families. Do you deserve to die just because no one will miss you?
And if you’ll allow me to break your heart a little more, Matt’s next thought is:
'Because it’s not even true. You’ll kill me if I lose you again.'
#yes I wrote all this while twirling a strand of hair just like Near does XDD#please keep in mind that I’m not a psychologist#I just wanted to share this#I hope I wasn’t too far off the mark#also I have to say I love their ship name#‘mellodramattic’#yessss baby#we’re dramatic#we feel everything at 200%#just look at mello XDD#maybe I’ll also write about how horribly crazy wammy’s house is#or near’s loneliness#idk :/#death note#mellodramattic#matt#mail jeevas#mello#mihael keehl#meta#analysis
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If the goal for the end of Lone Star is to complete everyone’s story lines, then the best way to complete Owen’s is to kill him. His whole character arc has been about him cheating death, and about him being tired of cheating death. Death is what haunts his narrative. It has also been about him trying to make sure TK is going to be okay. That has been his mission for the entire show. And Perhaps he has been able to cheat death so many times because that mission wasn’t completed yet. But now it is. He was told this by Gwyneth at the wedding. And you could clearly see that he knows it to be true. TK is going to be okay. And with that knowledge, he can finally let death win.
I propose, he dies and his last words are to his son: “you’re going to be okay, TK.”
#911 lone star#owen strand#tk strand#I should write the show actually#IT WOULD JUST BE SO PERFECT#and death doesn’t complete anyone else’s story line#like it would honestly make me cry.#but it would also be so satisfying#killing off anyone else would feel cheap
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TK/Carlos + Touch
↳ 4.17 Best of Men
#911 lone star#911lsedit#tk/carlos + touch#tk strand#tarlos#carlos reyes#... look i started with the saddest one ok#so i could get it out of the system and never return to it#and listen i know their knees are *barely* touching#but I just think tk would be doing his best to make sure carlos knew he was right there beside him#even if it meant lightly keeping their knees in contact while and maintaining composure otherwise#so go with it#(i almost feel like i should be putting a gabriel reyes death tw on this set so fans who just want to live in the wedding can 😬)#my gifs#episode: s04e17 best of ben#tarlos touch series
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Ishmael death stranding au stuff I was cooking. Also a faust kromer and Before team Ishmael doodle.
#bart#ishmael limbus company#ishmael lcb#limbus company#faust limbus company#faust lcb#i love the death stranding au already it itches my brain#im just trying to decide to give ishmael a bridge baby or not because i feel like she wouldn't really need it even though its recommended#i think she can see the beached stuff just fine#so no bridge baby mayhaps?#death stranding au ishmael is fucking amazing at traversing all the deteriorating shit shes a god at that#but the second you get Ishmael on solid flat ground that dosent move and she goes too fast shes going flat on her face#shes a lone courier who just runs around n shit#she also has a high lebel of dooms and has been GRAPPLED by bts so she just kinda looks fucked up#but shes damn good at delivering and taking corpses to the incinerators#might make a small makeshift comic about it actually#because i yearn to make ishmael speak i yearn for it#you ishmael likers i hope you trust me w this mission#do i have to tag project moon?#nah i dont bc i dont have the ability to stare at a wall for that long to type it out#just kidding i do!#project moon#im gonna makie this old woman say skibidi unironically(LIE)
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Been finishing watching Death Stranding for a few hours and experiencing shrimp emotions, the closest thing to this I think was me watching Everything Everywhere All at Once, how in the hell the only things I've heard about it before were that it's a delivery simulator and is boring. What are people on.
#like. I don't know how it plays. maybe it is boring for a lot of people. but are we just ignoring literally everything else about it.#I feel like I did steamroll through some bits on account of not being the one playing but still. holy shit.#kojima should absolutely make a movie I think. I don't want to go gamers (derogatory) but. a little bit.#faksyan talks#faksyan talks death stranding
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really want to woob-ify Higgs, wish after I knocked him out I could carry him home with me and then he could hang out in my private room and cook Sam food and take care of Lou and decorate the place! Imagine coming home and he's playing music and presents u w fried Cryptobite kabobs 🤭
#baby girl you are so find u can talk to me about your ancient egypt hyperfixation all u want#i just started episode 9 this is how im coping 😔 afraid im gonna loose hom#i would feel bad keeping him as a little hosue pet but realistically they would never make him a companion npc like a buddy bot 😔#also been thinking a lot about a cooking minigame in DS2 I WANT TO SERVE SAMMY MEALS!!! ENOUGH ENERGY DRINKS AND CRYPTOBITES!!!!#feel free to join the speculation discussion with me !!!#death stranding#death stranding 2
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happy valentines here are a bunch of valentines day cards i've made for my wife over the years
#listen. these are atrocities but i will still put them in the tags#fallout 4#skyrim#elder scrolls#ashen#outer wilds#pokemon swsh#pokemon oras#death stranding#mass effect andromeda#mass effect#have fun i guess???? if anyone sees this????#probably not but im proud of them so. they go on my blog now that im back in action#this is just a small selection bc i didnt include any refs to our ocs and none of the footballer vday cards (theres a lot)#bc i feel like theyd be rude to anyone who isnt me or my wife#none of this years bc theyre not ready skjfhaksf oops#oh i forgot my own#pokemon#tag!!! for safekeeping
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its so confusing sometimes to be a girl
#higgsamelie#smiles at you. higgs is so nonbinary genderfuck with a side of transfeminine to meee. any/all/doest gaf about pronouns he just got here-#but shes a woman when i feel like it and shes been feeling very Girl lately. follow for more death stranding gender takes
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Thanks for the Higgs headcanon I guess 😭??
#do i just make a compilation of Troy being fruity at this point because i feel like its happened more than enough times to start one#death stranding#higgs monaghan#retro replay#troy baker#nolan north
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the goldenwood porters, at your service!
yes two people run this new porting company. yes the guy in the bull mask is not apart of it, according to him. but there are two of them in this company.
@kamiporterbridges and i deciding to go in on making a death stranding au because we both are GNAWING into the game for me to enjoy. also we're both excited about death stranding 2 YIPPIEEEEE!!
#goldenwood porters#marwyd#johnny#DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN PUT THIS IN THE DEATH STRANDING TAG. SO WE'LL JUST STOP THERE.
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the thing abt worfs sob story is like - yeah ok maybe that is why YOU feel the need to maintain restraint and are afraid to let loose, especially around humans, but why does it make him so pissed to see other people enjoying themselves?? like is it supposed to be some sense of jealousy or what. idont get it like what does it have to do with him aiding the essentiallists it doesnt make sense 💀💀💀
#thots#i mean the thing is this piece of backstory could have potential emphasising his sense of alienation around humans#(despite being raised among them) like. the feeling that he cannot truly let him be himself even (especially) around those he cares abt#like that would play nicely with everything weve learned abt him#as a man stranded between two worlds who doesnt feel like he fully belongs in either#and tries to reconcile those two indentities which sometimes feel like they are contradicting each other#but the way it was revealed is so fucking stupid and nonsensical. i get why people hate this episode now#cause like you take pieces from it and they genuinely are cool#(potential good worf character moment. rite of separation. everyone in silly tourist outfits. curzon getting fucked to death)#and like even the whole subplot with how anyone can be vulnerable to reactionary talking points had potential#but the way it all comes together is just. SO BAD. help#like the true bad episodes are not just episodes that suck. they are episodes that could have been SO GOOD. if only#i do like that jadzia and worfs relationship is not seamless and they have conflicts they need to work through. but why like this.#also also wasnt worf supposed to have been raised on earth. why does he say here that he grew up on a whole other planet 💀
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