#but I just think tk would be doing his best to make sure carlos knew he was right there beside him

[guardian-angle22]

TK/Carlos + Touch

↳ 4.17 Best of Men

[chaotictarlos]

Fic Pride Friday

thank you yo @bonheur-cafe for the lovely tag

Who is she? Making a banner? Participating in a fandom fic tag game after months? Crazy how much motivation and time I have now that I'm not stressing over classes and just have to do my job. I've only picked a few fics to highlight here but you can read anything I've written HERE

THE LOFT || TK and Carlos decide that they're going to stay home for their honeymoon instead of going someplace else.

Carlos gives TK a look that seems like he wants to argue but then apparently he thinks better of it and sighs, looking down at their clasped hands. “I’ll never be able to thank the universe enough for putting you in my path,” Carlos says. “I don’t think there is any other person who would put up with all of this and stay or even find excuses to justify it all.” “Being with you isn’t ‘putting up with all of this’,” TK says. “Supporting you, loving you, caring about you is so far from ‘putting up’ with things. You’re not a burden for me Carlos, you’re the love of my life and I’m committed to being here with you and helping you through everything that life throws at you. We’re a team and we face things together.”

[REDACTED] || TK posts a picture that certainly gets Carlos' attention.

“I know why you posted the photo,” Carlos says as he flicks the toy on. He turned it onto his lowest vibration before going in search of his phone. Once he finds it - in his pants pocket, of course - he syncs it up with the toy. “You wanted attention and you wanted to make me jealous because you like it when I’m jealous. You know I’ll come home and give you exactly what you need. You know I’ll fuck you hard and won’t stop until you forget about everybody else who’s given you attention because their attention doesn’t matter. At the end of the day what matters is the attention I give you and the way I fuck you. You know that nobody in that phone would ever be able to satisfy your needy hole. Nobody knows how to handle you like I do.”

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces || An exploration of emotions. The Breakup Era from Carlos' POV

There was no comfort to be found when he was basically told that the love of his life had a big chance of dying. He knew that TK was strong, that he was a fighter, but how many times could someone brush close to death and come back? His mind reminded him that TK had died before he was brought to the hospital and it was only because of Nancy and Tommy that he was even still around to struggle and slowly slip out of his fingers. He wasn’t sure if he would have preferred for TK to die out on the scene, to get the call and have his heart ripped out of his chest all at once, or to be where he was at the moment with TK so close, yet so far away and slipping further with each breath he struggled to take.  “Why?” Carlos asked out loud. He lifted his head and looked up, staring at the cross above. “Why can’t I have him?” All through their relationship, there had been ups and downs - more than Carlos had ever faced in a relationship before. TK always ran away from him and Carlos was dumb enough to keep doing the chasing. He saw so much in TK, loved him as a whole person, that he wanted to chase him, even if it meant that he kept getting his heart broken. “Hasn’t he suffered enough? Haven’t I suffered enough? Why does he keep ending up here? Always fighting for his life?” Carlos asked, voice barely above a whisper because he didn’t trust it not to break. “TK is a good man. He doesn’t deserve to always fight for his life and be so scared of losing everyone that he runs away from love and happiness. He doesn’t deserve the hand that he’s been dealt.” Carlos was frustrated and hurt, wrapped up in a ball of pain that hadn’t gone away since TK had walked out of their loft four months before.  Now that pain was bigger, consuming him in more ways than he had ever thought possible. He continued to talk, to plead, to beg with God as he sat there. He was sure that everything he said was going to go unanswered but it still felt good to get some things off his chest and not have someone sitting beside him and try to comfort it all away.  “Please, I’m begging you to let him wake up. Don’t take him from me before I can prove that I’m worthy of him,” Carlos finished. He wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and stood up. 

I don't know who's been tagged so sorry for tagging you again. I also don't know who to tag since I've been away for so long so if you want me to tag you in things let me know.

NPT: @kiloskywalker @paperstorm @thebumblecee @cowlos-reyes @mooshkat @detective-giggles @sanjuwrites @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

[messymindofmine]

I find it kind of strange how this fandom often deifies Gabriel and Andrea but vilifies Owen. I get that we don’t see as much of Gabriel and Andrea as we do of Owen and Owen as a character is very flawed but still. I get being frustrated with the amount of screentime Owen gets but I still think that a lot of what we see of Owen is interesting. Particularly in s3. That said, we know from Carlos himself that his parents are not perfect. While they obviously do love and accept him, Gabriel is shown as being very hard on Carlos about him being too soft. This has clearly left a mark on Carlos especially since his parents never bothered to have a conversation about him being gay the way Carlos wanted too. The way Gabriel went after Carlos in 2x08 was actually very revealing. He didn’t even really listen to Carlos’s side of things and just put the blame on him. Then when Carlos was proven right, he didn’t even acknowledge it. When Carlos brought it up (something I suspect he wouldn’t have done before he met TK), Gabriel brushed him off. Even the hug between them didn’t really feel affectionate at all. Andrea isn’t innocent either. She may not have been as harsh but she clearly didn’t stand up for Carlos either. It rubs me the wrong way when people say that they wanted to see Andrea give TK a shovel talk in s3. First off, Carlos is an adult. Second, TK had his reasons that were completely understandable and it’s unfair to minimize them like that. Third, if I were Andrea and I wanted to earn my son’s trust, I wouldn’t be concerned about giving his bedridden boyfriend a shovel talk. I would focus more on working on myself so that my son feels comfortable telling me things. There is a reason Carlos didn’t tell his parents. I know they had a nice talk in the hospital but one talk isn’t going to erase a lifetime’s worth of trauma. and we have yet to see them really acknowledge their mistakes. In fact, Gabriel even casually gaslit Carlos by saying he should have corrected Andrea about getting TK’s name wrong. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional but unintentional gaslighting is a thing and that comment was definitely it. He clearly never stopped to think about how his own behavior might have led to Carlos not feeling comfortable enough to make the correction. It’s clear that even after 2x08, Gabriel still didn’t recognize how his behavior affected Carlos. The fact that he knew TK was Carlos’s boyfriend and didn’t say anything also shows that, Sure he said he was sure he’s like TK bc his son has great instincts but given how deep Carlos’s trauma goes, that alone isn’t enough. 

 Even if we see them mend things in s4, it’s unrealistic that Carlos will ever get to have the same type of relationship that TK does (or did) with his parents. Neither Gabriel or Andrea are those types of people and at this point it’s unrealistic to expect such a big change from them. The best Carlos can hope for is that his parents at least check themselves before making hurtful remarks, acknowledge their mistakes and make the effort to do better. I’m not saying that Gabriel and Andrea are bad people or that they don’t love Carlos but they have hurt Carlos in very big ways that they have yet to acknowledge. I hope they do so in s4.

By contrast, Owen (and Gwyn for that matter) are by no means perfect and have made mistakes that have affected TK a lot but TK also obviously has a far better relationship with both his parents than Carlos does with his. Even though Owen wasn’t around much after 9/11 (and you know what? I’m willing to go easy on him given the fact we’re talking about one of the most horrific events in modern history), him and TK have such a loving, affectionate relationship. How many adult sons do you see resting their head on their father’s shoulder especially in a public place?  That doesn’t just happen.

Gwyn is also not perfect. The turbulent relationship she had with Owen for so long clearly affected TK deeply. She also clearly had a habit of blaming Owen for things that she shouldn’t be blaming him for. Then there’s the fact that she apparently shacked up with Enzo three weeks after divorcing Owen. That could not have been easy for TK to deal with either. But she also walked into a drug den by herself, took her son onto a plane all the way to California to get him into rehab. She flew in from New York and stayed in Texas for months after TK was shot. Sure, her and Owen started up their messed up relationship again while she was there but she obviously didn’t come all the way to Texas for that. She did it for her son. There is a reason TK saw her in his dream in 3x04.

Owen is far from perfect himself but he actually does acknowledge his mistakes. Yeah, he didn’t react well in 1x09 when TK brought up how Owen not being their when he was a kid affected him but he also made sure TK knew that no matter what he did, Owen would always support him. Yeah, that comment about being a father sucked but he does acknowledge it was wrong and he regrets it. He also acknowledges his shortcoming in 3x16. He calls TK to tell him how much he loves him and that he’s proud of him and apologizes for being so distant. He also expresses the desire to be better. And let’s not forget that this man decided to uproot his whole life so that his son could have a fresh start. Seriously, he found his son almost dead after relapsing and OD’ing on the same day he found out he had lung cancer (as a result of being the sole survivor on an event that literally altered the course of history). Owen had no desire to move to leave the city he clearly loved and move to Texas. In fact, he turned the offer down at first. But then he chose to do so so that his son could get better in a new place. He didn’t keep his cancer secret bc he didn’t believe TK wasn’t strong. He did it bc he couldn’t handle the pain of TK knowing. Owen has always acknowledged how strong TK is. There has never been any doubt that he loves and supports TK. Let’s not forget that it was Owen who told Carlos that his softness was a good thing. There is a reason TK asked for his dad before he even opened his eyes in 1x09. No matter what, TK has never had a problem reaching out to his dad for comfort.

I’m not trying to pick sides here. I’m just saying that with all the “Bad Parent Owen Strand” fics out their that act like what they’re describing is canon all the while putting the Reyes’ on a pedestal, I would like people to remember that while Carlos is so afraid to let his parents down that he doesn’t even share his life with them, TK adores both his parents and has no problem teasing them about things. I’ll be honest, TK and Owen’s relationship is what drew me to the show to begin with. Their relationship is imperfect but the love they have for each other has never been in question. It bothers me when I see so many fics labeling Owen a bad parent and yet putting the Reyes’ on such a high pedestal when I would make the argument that TK (for all his trauma) has been far less traumatized by anything Owen has ever done than Carlos has been by his parents.

[trkstrnd]

Ya know, i find interesting that once Carlos realized TK was "the one," he really just fully assimilated into the 126 crew and TK's circle and just kind of checked out whatever and whoever was left of his past personal life. It's almost like he was searching his entire life for the life line that he had and then that was it for him.

It's just real interesting to me, because it kind of actually really unhealthy to do that (or it is in real life)- BUT, I do think with TK, it's the only time he has EVER been truly happy.

i agree with you nonnie

and this may not be something that you might be looking for, but i feel like this is a perfect example of why i am pretty positive that carlos reyes is autistic.

i guess tw fan headcanoning mental illness but i have done such a dive into this as an autistic person myself.

i don’t know how it happened, but i’m pretty positive that carlos is my special interest, so when i look at him, i like to break down and analyze every facet of him and his character.

this means who he is how he dresses how he acts what he does, and this current canon plot (even though i hate it), really hammers it home for me.

carlos always grew up different, too “soft” for gabe. he was constantly outcasted by his family, and now by canon standards we are pretty sure he only had one friend in school (that we know of). so when we look at all of the things that went into this (shitty ass) plot point, we see the following.

-outcasted

-low support system

-loner

-people pleaser

-one really good friend

-acting out in ways that will make him fit in.

when you look at these together: they form a mask.

carlos has been masking his entire life, trying to be big and strong for his dad, trying to be the perfect son for his mom. he had one single friend who knew everything about him and he never really branched out because he was afraid of inconveniencing or burdening other people. his entire past life was one big neurotypical comphet mask that he lived until he found tk.

he’s absolutely terrified that any small minute shift in that mask will ruin things with everyone he cares about. it’s why he told his parents tj was his friend, and why he deflected when to got upset and asked why. he didn’t know what his reaction would be, so he took the only way where he knew the outcome. he knew tk was going to leave either way, but if he refused to tell him the truth, then the truth couldn’t disappoint him.

furthermore, he’s hyperexpressive (another learned trait in his masking) and he sometimes lets it slip for just a second, and something comes out (2.08: “but you seemed so happy.”). he tries his best to react normally in high stress situations, but it’s a lot more difficult in their personal life because he feels safer with tk and feels like he can be himself around him (2.13, the specific expression he has when tk tells him that copper is at the door), but when he’s in work mode, the only thing you’ll get from him most of the time is a jaw clench.

and he’s not fully unmasked around tk all the time. he’s getting there, but the rage punching was a perfect example of him not necessarily knowing how to regulate or process his emotions, so they manifest into rage and he takes it out on the punching bag.

and HOO BOY he stims. he rubs his hands together, rubs his knees, tends to clasp his hands in public or cross his arms.

he also hyperfixates on things to a point where it can get unhealthy at times (3.05, watching that nanny can until the /sun was up/, not sleeping?). it’s why he’s a good cop and possible detective. he’s pushy and not easily distracted and he doesn’t let anything get in the way of what he wants, because he’s chasing the dopamine.

he hates when his plans are derailed or ruined. he knows when something is wrong because he’s good at picking up patterns in people since he is so hyperaware. it’s a defense mechanism.

he also has a hard time understanding nuanced situations like cooper and the whole friend from work debacle. he tends to over or under react because he’s not sure how to navigate the situation and his feelings.

and finally, relating back to the ask, i agree that carlos never was truly happy until he found tk, because tk kind of helps him navigate the world that is good for both of them. the perfect example of this is in 3.18, while he’s trying to give the speech, and paul and marjan and nancy interrupt because they know where it’s going. carlos looks like he’s about to murder someone for a split secind and he whispers something to tk, but tk is giddy and squeezes his hand because the message was received regardless of the heartfelt speech.

tk is his lifeline. he helps him navigate and understand the world around him, and carlos is able to be his fullest and truest self with him.

i think you’re right, nonnie. he wanted to get rid of his life before because he finally found something worth living for.

tl;dr: carlos reyes is autistic and never fit in until he found tk and realized he doesn’t need to fit in to be loved.

[normaltothemax]

"I don't know." (He knew. Knew the way this crawled around his indsides better than almost anything else he knew.) "I'm just... I just worry it's gonna happen again." It wasn't like he had managed to keep it from happening last time. (/this would be abouuuuut a relapse i think, probably would not have this response to dropping the kid. Hands this to u, ily)(oh for clint kfjshaj)

Ooh, this is…this really isn’t Clint’s regular wheelhouse. Outside a very small group of people, he’s not usually the one people talk to about serious subjects like this, and he’s got enough awareness to know that now is not the time to crack a joke or try and make light of the situation. He’s…glad that TK feels comfortable enough to talk to him about this stuff. Glad that they’re at a point in their friendship where they can talk about serious stuff. Clint’s not entirely sure how to respond to something like this—he doesn’t know a ton of recovering addicts—but he’ll do his best.

“It might,” he starts slowly, carefully. “That’s…a possibility.” He doesn’t think empty platitudes are gonna get them anywhere. “But you’ve got a support system in place, on the chance that it does, right? You’ve got Carlos and the 126, you’ve got your dad, and your sponsor. You’ve got me. I hope it doesn’t happen, and I’ll do whatever you need to try and keep it from happening, but if it does, you won’t have to go through it alone. We’ll all be there for you.”

@parameddic

[meditating-honey-badger]

Fandom: 911 Lone Star | Fic: Pretty Penny | Relationships: TK Strand/Carlos Reyes, TK Strand & Original Character | Chapter: 12/? | Chapter Word Count: | Total Current Word Count: 70211 | Rating: Mature | Warnings/Tags: Past Drug Use, Unplanned Pregnancy, Fluff, Angst, Canon Compliant to the End of Season 3, more tags will be added, picking a wedding date is hard, Stressed Carlos, engaged tarlos, Family Drama, Tarlos, Childbirth Class, Discussion of Birth, possible birth complications, Mildly Graphic Description, it's a bloody nose, discussion of past sexual abuse, Relapse, Overdose, discussion of suicide, Original Character Death(s), Explicit Language, Derogatory Language, Dad!TK, Papá!Carlos

Now that TK and Carlos are engaged, TK is ready to put the past behind him and move forward with their lives. But when he runs into a childhood friend, his entire world is turned upside down.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Let me tell you, friends, after struggling to have the time to write this chapter with so much going on in my life (My sister got married, yay! Work has been incredibly busy, Boo!), my ADHD did its best to try to prevent me from editing and getting it posted today. But here it is, finally! I hope you enjoy the new POV! Not sure if it will become regular, but I really needed it to tell this the way I wanted to.

Chapter 12

Carlos fought back tears as he looked at the grim faces around his parents’ dining room Sunday morning. The only thing keeping him from falling apart was that TK was already falling apart. He looked at TK’s red-rimmed eyes, swollen from crying and lack of sleep, and knew he had to stay strong for his husband and baby.

They’d always known this was a possibility — it had been their worst fear since the day they became Kennedy’s dads. Confronting it was an entirely different thing. Just like the lack of sleep and taking Kennedy to get her shots, nothing could have prepared them for this feeling. 

TK reluctantly handed Kennedy to Andrea, then joined Carlos, hugging him around the waist and burying his face in Carlos’s neck. Carlos rubbed his back and waited for someone to come up with a solution. Typically, he was fiercely independent, especially when his parents were involved, but right now he just wanted a grown up — or someone more grown up than him — to make the nightmare go away.

“We don’t have to tell anybody,” Owen said, sipping on a smoothie. He’d made an entire pitcher, but, not surprisingly, he was the only person drinking one. “It’s not like anyone subpoenaed you for the information. It’s very easy to factory reset a phone. Do it, sell the phone, and forget this ever happened.”

“That still doesn’t solve the problem of this Kenny character existing,” Andrea said.

Carlos let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s Kyle, Mamá.”

“Whoever he is, he’s trouble,” his mother answered back. She propped Kennedy on her shoulder and kissed her temple. “Isn’t that right, mi cielo?”

“Andrea,” Gabriel spoke up, “Aren’t you friends with the social worker? Couldn’t you call her up and explain the situation off the record? See what she thinks.”

“Really, Gabriel? I’m surprised you think I would put a friend in that position. Besides, that could easily backfire.”

TK turned around and leaned back against Carlos. “We have to tell social services,” he said. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“Maybe in theory, but not in this context,” Owen said. “The priority here is Kennedy’s well-being, so in that case, saying nothing is the right thing to do.”

“You’re not talking about context, dad. You’re talking about looking at it in a vacuum. Don’t everybody’s feelings matter here?”

“Not to me,” Owen said. “I’m your father, and I’m Kennedy’s Buddy. You and Carlos’s feelings matter. Her well-being matters. I don’t care about anybody else.”

“Buddy?” Gabriel said, raising his eyebrow.

“People would never believe I’m a grandfather anyway,” Owen said.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, and Carlos snorted. His father-in-law was really too much, but at least his heart was in the right place. “Well, I agree with Owen,” he said. “We don’t owe anybody anything. Our family is what’s most important.”

“You’re all saying our feelings are the most important,” TK said, pointing between himself and Carlos, “but then dismissing my feelings about it.”

“Nobody’s dismissing your feelings, TK. We’re just saying that Kennedy is our number one priority.”

“Whatever, Carlos,” TK said, shrugging out of his arms. He walked down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“He didn’t sleep at all last night,” Carlos explained.

Read on AO3

[beautifulhigh]

Sneak Peek Monday: all the parts

In case anyone missed one of the posts, here’s everything I hinted and teased today. And anyone who would like to join @queen-saltyfries in encouraging/bullying/straight up pushing me to make sure I get this fic finished would be more than welcome!

So even though it is no longer Cow Eyes Monday for me, I give you my Carlos Whump fic.

All five of the sneak preview parts are under the cut, and yes - this is the order they appear in the fic.

Sneak peak part 1

"Hey guys," Carlos said quietly. "Wish I could say it was nice to see you."

TK stilled for a second, looking at Carlos and then across at the driver.

"Is Spence OK?" Cassie asked.

"Let's focus on getting you out first," Marjan said, having done the perfunctory check for Spence's pulse. She didn't need to tell anyone it wasn't there: with the tree branch lodged firmly in his chest and throat, unseeing eyes staring ahead, all of the adults knew.

"You're supposed to be behind a desk," TK said, half chiding and half upset as he reached through the broken window to gently check Carlos' vitals.

"They were stuck… needed someone to help. Me and Spence were just on desk duty, I said it would be a nice run out."

"What happened? Why are you even out here?" TK asked, satisfied that Carlos' pulse wasn't anything to be concerned about and he couldn't feel any immediate damage to his neck.

"Not now," Carlos whispered, his gaze flicking to the side which TK knew was a reference to Cassie.

"OK. Does it hurt anywhere?"

"Rib's busted, ankle hurts like hell. But I can wiggle my toes and fingers and there's no real numbness. Breathing is fine, apart from the rib, and I'm pretty sure I didn't lose consciousness."

"Gold star," Marjan quipped as she started to test the back door of the car. "He taught you well."

"My best student," TK said with a small smile as he fixed the collar in place, allowing himself a moment to run his hand through Carlos' hair. "I'm going to check on Cassie."

"I won't go anywhere," Carlos said gently.

**

Sneak peak part 2

"Don't think you'll get me through the window," Carlos pointed out. "And I don't rate your chances of getting it open without—"

"Hey," TK snapped, reaching in to put his hand on Carlos' cheek. "We will figure it out, OK? Cassie's on her way up, it's your turn now."

"She's scared."

"She went over a cliff, of course she's scared," Paul said as he moved carefully around the car.

"No, she… saw her dad kill her mom. She's scared he'll come for her next. There was a car following us, ran us off the road."

"Don't worry about that now," TK said, looking at the door to see how damaged it was.

"Only got a partial plate. 215, Uniform. Couldn't make out the other two letters. Dark sedan, maybe blue?"

"Stop," TK said firmly. "We're getting you out, you don't need to relay the information."

"Babe," Carlos said gently.

TK pointedly stood up, looked across the car. "Paul? Any ideas? This door doesn't look too bad but it'll take a good yank to get it open."

"I can try to sure up the wheels, give a little bit of leverage to stop it going so quickly. But if it works it won't work for long."

"You'll need to take your belt off," TK said, turning back to Carlos. "Although maybe not until the door is open? Just in case."

"TK—"

"We're doing this," TK said gently. "I'm not leaving you; I'm not taking any messages. There is a young girl up there who I think wants to see you again so how about you let us do our jobs?"

"Bossy," Carlos said, a small smile creeping onto his lips.

"You love it."

"Love you."

**

Sneak peak part 3

"I thought I was going to die."

"But you didn't," Rebecca said.

"I got lucky. I shouldn't have been lucky."

"Why not?"

"Because Spence wasn't lucky. Why am I still here and he's not? Because he was driving and I wasn't? Because I was still strapped in when the car went over?"

"Why is that a problem? That you got lucky?"

"Feels unfair."

"Life isn't fair."

"I know what you think this is," Carlos said. "Survivor's guilt. We hear about it all the time in the force. A call goes badly, someone dies but it's not you. And you can't help but think that if you'd been the first one through the door, you'd been standing a few inches left or right, if you'd not hesitated. If you'd been in the driver's seat like you were supposed to."

"But you don't think it's that?"

"I know it's not."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm the reason Spencer died. This wasn't his bad luck, or my good luck. This wasn't about timing. This was about me, what I did. I killed him."

**

Sneak peak part 4

The second fall had sheered off the door, leaving the passenger side of the car wide open like a gaping wound. Carlos was held in place by the seatbelt which was taut across his chest, staring straight down through the cracked windshield.

"How are you doing?" TK asked as he found purchase level with the car. He was a few feet away from where the door had been on the vehicle but now that he had laid eyes on his husband his heartrate was already slowing.

"Hurts… to breathe," Carlos said. "And don't really… want to undo the belt now."

"You're going to have to if I'm going to get you out."

"TK, no—"

"Don't you even think about trying to talk me out of it, you hear me?" TK snapped, his tone leaving no room for any debate on the matter. "We have one shot at this and we are taking it, so you need to shut up and do exactly what I say when I say it."

"You just want to be in charge for once."

TK laughed softly, filing away the teasing retort for later. "I can get over to the car but when I make contact with it I could dislodge it so you need to be ready. I need you to undo your belt slowly and brace against the dashboard. It's going to hurt like hell with your ribs but it won't be for long. When I get to you I'll grab on, you need to put your arms around my neck, OK?"

For a second TK wondered if Carlos was going to fight him, argue that he couldn't do this, but then he watched Carlos' right hand reach out to the dash and his left drop to his side for the belt buckle.

"On my count," TK said. "Unclip the belt on two, I'll move on three."

"TK, if—"

"One," TK said, not giving Carlos an inch to protest. "Two," he continued, hearing the soft click of the belt. "Three," he said, pushing against his slight cliffside purchase to give him momentum.

**

Sneak peak part 5

"He shouldn't have done it," Carlos said, his eyes falling back to the carpet. "Risk everything like that."

"Why not?" Rebecca asked. "Leaving aside the fact that it's his job, he's your husband. He loves you."

"I know that," Carlos said before flinching at how defensive he'd become. "Sorry. It's just… yeah, it's his job. He loves it and he's really good at it. When we met he was a firefighter but he moved over to be a paramedic and it just… it fits him. Like this is where he's supposed to be, who he's supposed to be. He's still dual certified so he gets to do things like…"

"Like cliff rescues?"

"Yeah. But I know that being a paramedic is…" Carlos stilled, trying to find the right word. He looked up at Rebecca, giving a small shrug. "It's him. He's so good at it, he loves working with Nancy and Tommy and when I get to see him in the field with patients it's like I fall in love all over again because I see him, I really see him, all the hurt and pain and suffering he's been through and you'd never know it because he's so calm and gentle and kind and he's so, so good at his job, he's so good and because of me—"

"Carlos," Rebecca said quickly. "Carlos, I want you to take a slow, deep breath OK? Breathe in on my count – one, two, three – now hold for two, three – and breathe out slowly, two, three, four, five, six. And again."

She counted a few more rounds and Carlos followed the instruction, finding each successive set a little easier to do. When she was satisfied they sat in silence for what seemed like an age.

"When was the first time you had a panic attack?" Rebecca asked.

The question caught Carlos off guard and so his answer came without thought, hesitation, or any attempt to avoid it. "I was fourteen."

[911lonestarfeels]

So I got up this morning at five so I could watch both episodes before work. Thank you Hulu for not posting things until 301. 

I honestly have a lot of different thoughts on the episode I thought it was excellently acted. But I felt like the pacing was off you know?

My ethnic, cultural, and race background is fairly similar to TK. One parent who’s Jewish the other parent is not so maybe I’m not seeing things from the right perspective? Like I had no idea that Carlos had issues with the Rangers until that episode. I thought the discussion between him and Andrea was amazing. An example of having differing positions and facts that will back up what you’re saying being civil about it and agreeing that you can’t agree. I thought that was wonderfully done. 

I also really liked that. TK didn’t try and mediate between Carlos and Gabriel. It isn’t a partners job to be supportive and help them find the right path forward. However, you don’t need to insert yourself in every situation. Especially one that you’re probably not qualified to handle them.  As well as TK and Carlos know each other, he don’t know the totality of the history, both in the father, son, relationship, and the relationship that the Rangers had with minority groups. While TK is technically a minority, some minorities are more in your face than others. For example, I’m a teacher my dad was Jewish, so ethnically, not religiously I’m half Jewish. Well 48% according to ancestry.com but if you walked up to me on the street, you would think I was a pure wasp – you know white Anglo-Saxon protestant. TK has that same guise. I don’t know if it’s passing or just like flipping through the cracks. But in the day today he is not going to experience the same thing as Carlos or Gabriel or Andrea.  Going to Andrea at that point then later Owen, was probably the best plan.

I think overall my issue with the two episodes is this they tried to shove too much into two episodes. The disagreement between Carlos and Gabriel, the half family coming to town and meeting everybody, Owen, being Owen, he makes drama wherever he goes, Gabriel’s death and funeral Being in one episode. And the next one we have Carlos attempting to go through every stage of grief, the postponement of the wedding, which I’m pretty sure all of us knew was going to happen, Carlos beginning to veer a little bit from the normal route, the wedding, all the stuff with Wyatt and Judd quitting, which should be in quotation marks, probably, the five second honeymoon, and then assisted suicide.

I have issues with that whole storyline, which I will not get into now because this post is incredibly long, but it wasn’t necessary to shoehorn that into the end of the episode. Unless they were trying to be cheaper and not have to film anything for next season? I really love this show And I love those boys. The Reyes parents were growing on me and I hope that Owen turns down his melodrama.

But the season long lead up to the wedding that was like 20 minutes. I was disappointed. Maybe there are outtakes that they’ll post somewhere

Oh!  And where are Enzo and Jonah like you have the random cousins from California that you’ve never met but not your half brother that you share with your dead mom. Color me confused. 

[loveisharderthanitlooks]

I've spent the day dwelling on it and I've come to the conclusion that this twist is the worst writing we've ever seen on the show.

To be very clear, I'm not saying that because I can't handle Carlos looking bad or doing something wrong. I'm happy we're finally getting to see his flaws and to see him fuck up and make mistakes and (hopefully) learn from it. I've been begging for a fully fleshed out Carlos from the beginning, and we're finally getting that.

It's not even that I think the basic premise itself is a bad story. Carlos having a marriage of convenience to his best friend because he was struggling after coming out his parents and not getting the support he needed from them. Yeah, there's a meaty story there. Lots of room for character and relationship development there.

What makes it so stupid is the timing. It's opened up plotholes big enough for Carlos to drive his police cruiser through. It undoes three seasons of (often poor, I know) character development. It takes a beloved character and says everything we've told you about this character is wrong. It undermines several established relationships.

[Carlos and Iris loved each other so much and were so close they thought they could make a platonic marriage work and then when she was found after being missing and presumed dead for three years he just never went to see her? He wasn't even making sure she was doing ok by messaging Michelle semi-regularly? Yes, that actually does make him a terrible friend.] [Carlos and TK have been in a relationship for several years now, they are getting married and not only has Carlos never mentioned that he as a wife, apparently in all that time he has never mentioned his best friend at all. Does Carlos just never talk about himself ever? Does he never tell TK stories about what he did in high school? Does TK never ask? What do they talk about? What does it say about their relationship if they don't know basic information about each other?] [Season one established that Michelle and Carlos had become close friends. Then she finds Iris and what, they just stop talking to each other? She doesn't even let him know she's leaving the country for three months? Why did they stop being friends?] [Andrea and Gabriel knew he was gay, watched him marry a woman, she vanishes for three years, Carlos moves in with a man and we're supposed to believe that Andrea didn't try to talk to Carlos about any of it?] [Carlos would have been a prime suspect in Iris' disappearance, how was he allowed to investigate her case at all?] [Carlos and TK applied for a mortgage together, how did it not come up that Carlos was legally married to somebody else?] [Carlos accepted a marriage proposal knowing he was still married and didn't admit that to his loving, supportive, wonderful fiance?]

The frustrating thing is that it could have been introduced at other times in the series and actually made a decent storyline, but they left it too late. Imagine:

Season One: TK and Carlos meeting, sparks fly, they hook up, then Michelle brings Carlos to the honky tonk and introduces Carlos as her brother in law. TK, who has recently been cheated on is hurt and angry and he doesn't want Michelle's sister to go through the same thing so he tells Michelle. She thinks they make a cute couple. TK is confused, he doesn't quite believe that it's a marriage of convenience so he's wary, but Carlos slowly shows TK that he's a good guy and TK can trust him.

Season Two: Carlos and TK are in the early stages of being official boyfriends. Carlos gets a call that Michelle is going to Ecuador and can he keep an eye on Iris. TK wonders why she's asking Carlos, he reveals that iris is technically his wife. TK is pissed at him for not telling him sooner but forgives Carlos and offers his support when Carlos explains about his relationship with his parents. Or TK finds out when Carlos admits that the reason he didn't introduce him as his boyfriend to his parents is because they believe he's married to Iris.

Season Three: While dealing with the insurance after the fire and applying for a mortgage, TK discovered Carlos is married and was so furious, he broke up with him.

It doesn't matter how good a plot twist is, it needs to at least make sense. If it doesn't it make sense, it's not a good plot twist. It's bad writing to keep it in.

[rainrain-dontgoaway]

My two cents in 9-1-1 Lone Star 4x01

This is mainly about the secret.

although I wish it was a different secret, we can’t change it now, so we must process and move on. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about how upset they were about the character assassination of Carlos having him marry Iris, but I think there is another way of looking at it.

Like Carlos explained, when he came out, he thought his parents didn’t approve, so he thought the best way to get his parents acceptance was to be that guy who marries his best friend, and lives the perfect life. Although Carlos isn’t in love with Iris, he did love her, and he tried to make his life work the way he knew how to keep his parents in it.

I’m not saying it was right, but technically they didn’t get married to commit insurance fraud. They were best friends.

Also correct me if I’m wrong, schizophrenia develops later in life, so maybe when they got married it wasn’t apparent, and when it devolved Carlos thought it was his job as her best friend to take care of her?

When she went missing I get the feeling they weren’t super close anymore, and maybe him being a bit distant was a way for him to protect himself? Carlos has a giant heart, maybe it was his coping mechanism.

He still should have told TK, but I think maybe people getting pissed at Carlos and jumping ship on this whole season need to take a few deep breathes and see where the rest of the season goes? We got clips of them planning the wedding, I don’t think the Iris plot is going to be spread out throughout the whole season.

But that’s just my thoughts.

Edit: cause I just remembered something. Did everyone just assume they were bringing back Iris for fun? Like, if I truly thought about it hard enough before this season aired, I could have predicted that Iris was going to be part of the secret. Maybe not full on marriage but nobody brings a character back from being a missing person to just have one dinner with Carlos and TK and than peace out again, right? Or am I the only one who thinks that?

Double edit: cause I can’t stop thinking, and people keep posting things that are annoying me. I can’t hate an entire season based on the first episode. I just can’t, and maybe that’s just because I know it’s a tv show and these characters are fiction so I’m not overly emotional about their storylines, but I also lived through PLL for 7 years so I am now immune to plot twists. I’m not going to make any insane predictions because who knows what is going to happen, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Iris is only in the first half of the season, and than again at the wedding. Feels like her presence is only going to be for a short while, and I’m okay with that.

Triple edit: cause I woke up still thinking about it. All the posts I keep seeing about how Iris is going to prolong signing the divorce papers because she wants to make sure TK is right for Carlos, are WILD. Carlos is finally in a relationship with a man who he LOVES. Entirely. He has everything he’s ever wanted. A real relationship with his parents without any boundaries. A career that he loves, and he’s good at. Good friends who he loves. And again, a man who he is so whole heartedly in love with, and happy with. You think Iris is going to stand in his way? All the information we got, we know they were best friends in the past. A true friend would never stand in Carlos’ way, and I don’t think Iris would do that to him.

Quadruple edit: cause I’m honestly a bit lost in thought on this secret. I’m kind of done thinking about him marrying a woman, and not telling TK. What I’m so stuck on is that Carlos came out to his parents, and than married his best friend, WHO IS A WOMAN. Did his parents truly not stop and think, ‘Carlos just opened up to us, and now he’s marrying this woman, maybe we should say something?’ Or maybe he got married and told them after, but I have a hard time imaging Andrea just being okay with her son getting married, to a woman, so young, and than never getting a divorce, WITHOUT talking to him about it. And I wonder how long they knew. That’s also tripping me up. That could also be why she’s so invested in his current wedding, but dang, if his parents knew he was marrying a woman, and they didn’t try to stop him, I don’t know what to do with that info.

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Written for @tarlosweeklyprompts prompt of the day: Love

Aimée (AO3)

Aimée is pronounced kind of like "eh-may" and it's French for beloved. So yes I cheated a little with today's prompt.

----

"Dude, if that husband of yours doesn't get here soon, we're starting without him." Nancy said, before popping a chip in her mouth.

"Carlos is always very punctual. It's annoying." Iris commented.

It was the first official 126 hang after they got married a few months ago, and the first they invited Iris to.

TK liked her now he'd gotten to know her better. She'd been Carlos' best person at the wedding and they'd discovered she and TK had a very similar sense of humour.

They'd joked about Carlos having a type and the blushing stammering mess he'd turned into had made TK fall in love with him even more.

"Maybe he got kidnapped again." Mateo suggested, earning him a glare from just about everyone in the room. "What? It's possible!"

"Carlos did not get kidnapped, ok?" TK insisted, though the thought was always in the back of his mind whenever Carlos was home later than planned. "I'm sure he's just running late. I'll call him again."

He pulled up Carlos' contact and hit call, thankful it actually rang and didn't go straight to voicemail.

"Hey baby." Carlos answered after what seemed like hours.

"Baby where are you? We're all waiting for you."

"Put him on speaker." Nancy insisted and TK did as she asked. "Reyes if you're not here in 10 minutes we're starting without you and eating all of your chips."

"You always do that already anyway." Carlos deadpanned. "I'm just walking out the door now. I'll be home in 20 minutes. 25 tops."

TK frowned at his phone.

"The station is only 15 minutes away. Where are you coming from?"

"Lexi's place. She uh... had something for me I had to pick up. Something I needed."

"Like what?"

"Just... stuff. I have to go. I'll be home soon. I love you."

"We love you too, Carlos!" Mateo called out, making the rest of the gang laugh.

"I don't think he was talking to you." Iris pointed out. "He's not married to you, he's married to TK. He is TK's heart. He told me himself."

"I know, I was just joking. Though I guess I do love him? As a friend I mean. He is one of my best friends."

TK tuned the rest of the conversation out and continued to stare at his phone. He opened his text thread with Carlos and typed and deleted similar versions of the same text a few times.

"You ok bud?" Nancy was standing next to him and he realised he hadn't even noticed her getting up.

"Yeah... No... I just... He's lying to me." TK stammered. "Not even three months into our marriage and he's lying to me."

"You don't know that. Let's talk this through. Who is Lexi? Is that someone he works with?"

"Yeah... she's his partner. They've worked together for years. She was at the wedding. She danced with Marj."

"Ok. Do you have her number?"

"Yeah... but I can't just call her."

"Why not?"

"Because... she'll tell him and he'll think I'm checking up on him because I don't trust him."

"Isn't that exactly the case?"

"No. I trust him with my life." TK vowed.

"But...?" Nancy prompted.

"But... I can't help but think about the last time he told me he was going somewhere and then he ended up bound and gagged and drugged in a serial killer's kitchen."

"So, just call her and tell her you're worried."

"No... I can't."

"Just do it dude. I came here to have fun with my friends, not to watch you mope around all night."

"I'm not moping!" TK protested and Nancy just raised an eyebrow at him in reply. "I'm just... worried. Paranoid?"

"Oh you're definitely paranoid, but if you don't call that Lexi person, I will."

TK rolled his eyes but knew her well enough to know she would take his phone and call Lexi. He pulled up her number and hit call.

She answered almost right away, as if she'd been waiting for the call.

"Hey TK."

"Lexi, hi, sorry for disturbing you but uhm... is Carlos with you?"

"No he left about 10 minutes ago. Didn't he call you?"

"No he did, he did... I was just... I don't know... I didn't know he was going anywhere after his shift."

"It was kind of a last minute thing. But I promise you he was in one piece when he left here and he was going straight home."

"Right. Ok. Sorry for bothering you..."

"It's fine. I'd be worried too after what he got himself caught up in last time he was home late." Lexi told him, sounding like she'd rehearsed the line or at least already repeated it a few times.

"Yeah... I just don't want to be a widower before we even make it to three months."

"Don't worry, he's fine. He's kind of a dumbass but he's fine."

"A dumbass? Why? What did he do? What happened?"

"He made me promise not to say anything... but you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You'll see when he gets home."

"Right..."

"If it was something bad I would have told you, TK. You're my friend too and stupidity does not trump loyalty."

TK smiled.

"Alright. Have a good night Lexi."

"Thanks. You too. And when your husband gets home, please call him an idiot from me."

TK promised he would and they ended the call.

"See? Nothing to worry about." Nancy said. "He's probably picking up some kind of anniversary present for you. You two are the kind of people who would celebrate your wedding anniversary every month."

TK bit his lip, knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it.

They rejoined the rest of the group and TK did his best to try and keep up with the conversations around him, but his mind kept drifting to Carlos.

About ten minutes later his phone rang and Carlos' name flashed up on the screen.

"Oh gross, you have him as husband ❤ in your phone?" Nancy commented after glancing at his phone screen.

"Shut up." TK mumbled before answering the call. "Carlos? Where are you?"

"Coming up in the elevator right now. Do you want to meet me in the hallway?"

"What? Why?"

"There's something you need to see before I come into the house."

"Why are you being so secretive? What did you do?"

"Did you get his name tattooed across your heart, Carlos?" Nancy yelled over TK's shoulder, who shoved her away as he got up. "What makes you think he doesn't already have that? And that it's across his heart and not somewhere else?"

Nancy made a disgusted face and everyone laughed as TK went to slide open the door.

He was confused for a minute until he saw Carlos coming around the corner. And he wasn't alone.

"Oh my god. Hi you!" he dropped to his knees. "Who are you? What is your name?"

"Her name is Aimée. It means beloved in French. She needed a place to stay for a while."

"Oh really? Are you coming to stay with me and Carlos? Do you want to come to work with me tomorrow? Or are you going with Carlos? Oh am I getting kisses? You are so sweet! Yes you are!"

"Did you buy a dog?" Iris asked. The whole gang had gathered in the hallway where TK was currently being licked to death by a very affectionate brown and white pitbull.

"No, I just kind of took some work home with me." Carlos told her. "She's a K9 officer. A police dog. Only her handler got shot and she needed someone to look after her while he recovers." he explained when the look on her face told him she didn't understand.

"They just let you take police dogs home with you? I have the wrong job." Mateo commented and bent down to greet the dog who had noticed the other humans and their cuddle potential.

"Not exactly. But her handler is one of my training officers from when I first joined the force as a rookie. He asked me to take her while he's out of action."

"But why the lying and the secrets?" TK asked, letting Carlos pull him to his feet and greet him with a kiss.

"You know the dog just licked his face, right?" Iris asked, looking mildly disgusted, and Carlos just about managed to stop TK from making a comment about Carlos having had 'worse' things in his mouth than a little doggy drool.

"That's ok. I don't mind." he said quickly.

"You really love him don't you?" She asked, still not over the kiss she'd just witnessed. "I mean I love you and I love Dylan... and I love dogs too... but I wouldn't kiss one."

"Well that's where we're different." Carlos said with a grin and kissed TK again for emphasis. "Wait, who is Dylan?"

"My boyfriend." Iris said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Keep up babe." TK patted his chest and focused on the dog again. "Aimée come here girl. Come."

"She's very sweet and well behaved when she's off duty. Well on duty too. I got some of her stuff from the station but her food and everything is at Frank's place and he lives on the other side of the city... So I just borrowed some stuff from Lexi from her dog." Carlos explained. "That's why I was at her place."

"So why was she calling you a dumbass?" Nancy asked.

"I wanted to surprise TK... she told me not to because of what happened last time I wasn't honest about where I was going..."

"She was right. I was worried when you were being all weird. And you're a terrible liar." TK told him. "But you're kind of cute so I think I'll keep you around." he joked and bent down to pick up Aimée's lead and took her into the loft, Carlos and the rest of the gang following behind.

TK made a beeline for the fridge to find a snack for Aimée, all while talking to the dog and calling her the best girl over and over.

"I've got treats and food for her in this bag." Carlos said, holding up a plastic bag. "And her bed and favourite toy are in the car."

"Didn't you say her handler got shot today?"

"Yeah..."

"That means she got shot at. So she had a rough day and deserves a special treat." TK reasoned and fed her some bits of sausage.

"Are you seriously feeding her the Kosher sausages you bought for your mom?"

"I didn't think dogs had to eat Kosher? Are dogs Jewish?" Iris commented, starting a whole debate between her and Mateo on how dogs fit into religion.

"She'll understand. And we can always pick up some more before they all come down next week. Or we'll just take her out to dinner somewhere." TK shrugged and held up his hand in front of Aimée's face. "Can you high five?"

"That's not exactly the kind of thing she's been trained to do, babe."

"That's ok. We can work on that."

Carlos watched TK explain high fives to the dog by taking her paw and touching his hand with it and feeding her sausage afterwards.

"You know you're going to have to transfer to the K9 unit now, right?" Paul asked and patted him on the back.

Carlos just laughed and thought of the transfer request paperwork he'd filled in after he got back from hospital and had picked Aimée up from the kennel. He'd tell TK about that later. When he's sure his request has been approved. And Aimée is officially theirs.

[chaotictarlos]

Been awhile since I've dropped one for this one... I think my writing block for this one might be letting up. For my TK BreakUp Anon 💙

----

“I can’t believe you think this was okay. I can’t believe you would do this to me. I thought we were going to do this together, as a team.” TK snapped at him, eyes blurring with tears that he refused to let fall. “I thought you didn’t care where we lived as long as we were together!”

“TK-”

“No, stop it. You’re just like the rest of them, taking control and doing what you think is best for me without talking to me about it,” TK shook his head. “It’s something Alex would do and in the end, I wasn’t enough for him, I guess I’m not enough for you either.

Hurt flashed in Carlos’ eyes and he stepped forward, hand reaching out like he was going to touch TK.

TK shook his head, anger, hurt, and betrail bubbling hotly through his veins. He felt trapped and like he was suffocating from his emotions.

“This… This is inexcusable, Carlos,” TK said, voice quiet. He pressed his lips into a thin line and didn’t hesitate to bolt - ignoring Carlos’ shouts of his name as he made his way down the hall and out of the building.

-

The moment TK stepped out into the afternoon sun, he knew that walking away was a move he would regret for the rest of his life.

Even through the anger and hurt settling in his chest, he knew he would regret blowing up at Carlos and not trying to talk about what he had done rationally.

Then again, TK had barely done anything rationally in his life.

TK had been trying so hard the past year to stop running when faced with a complication or some kind of conflict. He had been working with his therapist on different ways to cope and how to have logical and rational conversations when he was bothered by something.

And he had told himself, promised himself that he would stop running out on Carlos when things got hard or he felt backed into a corner because Carlos didn’t deserve that kind of behavior. He had made a plan that he would follow, that would encourage them to talk about and work through whatever the conflict or difference was.

However, buying them a place without talking to TK about it, or seemingly not even considering how TK would feel about it beyond his initial reaction to the place had been a step too far, didn’t fit into any of his coping skills, and was too much for TK to handle.

TK sniffled, rubbing the tears out of his eyes before making his way down the street before Carlos could come down and try to talk to him.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, fingers fumbling as he ordered an Uber to drive him away from the man that he loved and TK had thought loved him too so that he could clear his head and decide what to do next.

He was in the Uber, giving directions to his dad’s house because he had nowhere else he could think of to go when Carlos tried to call him. TK ignored it and a text came through seconds later.

[Carlos] TK, please answer me. Where are you? We need to talk about this. Running away doesn’t solve anything and I’m not even sure why you ran this time.

[Carlos] I know I upset you, that wasn’t what I meant to do. I thought this was a good thing for us.

[Carlos] TK. Please. You promised to talk to me about these things.

[Carlos] I can see that you read my message. TK, come on, we need to talk about this. Running away right now won’t solve anything.

TK clenched his eyes shut, trying to stop another wave of tears from streaming down his face.

The Uber stops at his dad’s house and TK gets out and heads in, going straight to the guest room that he had been sharing with Carlos. He dropped down onto it, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as his phone vibrated again.

[tarlos-spain]

G - Gunshot wound

"Are you sure we have everything?" TK asked and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to glance at the list of things they had to buy.

"I've looked at it four times. We have everything it takes to make the best birthday for your dad."

TK leaned against the wall as they waited for the elevator to arrive so they could finally get to the car. They had so much to prepare so many things at home for the party that he was getting nervous.

"This is the first time we're having a party at home. It has to be perfect."

Carlos stepped in front of him and rested both hands on his shoulders. He smiled, that gesture that took all the trouble out of TK's head. He reached over and kissed him.

"We've had the engagement party at home and we hang out with the team every weekend." "It's not the same. This party my dad will come to, of course, but yours too and the whole team. I've never been the amphictyonic of an important event."

"Then you have nothing to worry about, We bought everything and you had me write down the recipes in three different places in case I forgot and lost them. Something tells me you have a better handle on this than I do."

"Yeah well but..."

A loud clatter sounded all around them. They turned around and saw a bunch of people running and screaming. They looked at each other, they couldn't be unlucky enough to be caught in an emergency on their day off.

Then they heard what neither of them had any doubt were gunshots.

"What's going on?" TK asked nervously.

"I don't know, but we're not staying here to check it out. We go down to the parking lot run to the car and in the meantime call 911 for help."

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Hey you guys! Where do you think you're going?"

The two turned around again, as the elevator doors opened behind them. They saw three men, none of them occupied the gun in their hands. Two pointed at them and Carlos grabbed TK by the arm. He pulled him into the elevator.

He knew what was about to happen, he didn't need to be poilcía to know that these men were either robbing or hijacking the mall. Either option could be just as bad for them.

"Freeze!"

They were shot at, Carlos did what his instinct told him, he stepped in front of TK at the sound of gunshots and pushed him into the elevator, against one of the walls and stood there until the doors closed.

"I hope there's reception down here to call 911." Carlos said with the cell phone in his hand. "Who would those people be, what would they want? It doesn't matter, the sooner the police know, the sooner we can stop them from hurting anyone. I hope no one gets hurt already."

"Carlos."

"Don't worry, that's the good thing about being with a cop. I haven't been in many kidnappings but I've studied them and..."

"Carlos." TK said again.

Before the cop turned around, the elevator went dark and stopped dead in its tracks.

Carlos braced his hands on the two walls, but had to catch TK's body as he realized he was falling forward.

"Ty, look out. are you okay?"

TK grunted. "When did you say that thing about not knowing if those people had hurt anyone." He grunted again and let himself fall even further onto Carlos, sure he'd be held up.

He put a hand to his right thigh and it was immediately smeared with blood.

"TK!"

"Some wounded if any."

[maxbegone]

Had thoughts about TK running his hands through Carlos’ hair and came up with this:

Carlos is dead asleep.

His lashes are fanned out long over his cheeks, his face half-obscured by the pillow he’s pressed into, and all TK’s can do is watch him.

He should be asleep, too, but now it’s well past midnight and he’s starting to think that Carlos was absolutely right in warning him not to have another cup of coffee when they were out running errands in the afternoon. Years ago when he lived in Manhattan and sleep wouldn’t come to him, TK would take a walk. Sure, it wasn’t the smartest thing, but it was the city he knew at an hour cloaked in mystery. It was survivable.

He’s not going to do that here, though. He feels more content in Austin than he has anywhere else, and it’s because he has people who make him feel safe. Carlos makes him feel safe, and secure, and so loved that sometimes it makes TK feel so overwhelmed in the best way that he has to steel himself.

It’s a pretty damn incredible thing.

Carlos snuffles in his sleep and slowly rolls onto his back, one hand extended out toward him as he breathes deeply. TK chuckles silently, his hand slowly coming up to comb through the mess of curls. He twists a finger around a soft loop that lays on his forehead, brushing it back and away from his face.

He lays there playing with his hair for a long time before Carlos stirs again, this time cracking an eye open and finding TK in the dark.

“Why are you up?” He grumbles through sleep.

“Coffee,” TK replies, failing to hide his smile, which is only harder to do as Carlos hums and clumsily pats at his arm.

“Told you.”

“You did.”

Another hum. “Go back to sleep.”

“I will,” he promises, “not tired yet.”

“Mm, I could make you tired,” Carlos offers, though it gets caught in a stifled yawn as he moves just the slightest bit closer in the already small gap between them.

TK just keeps his hand tangled in his hair. “Maybe in the morning, baby. You’re barely awake.”

Carlos is suddenly propping himself up on his forearm to hover just the slightest bit over TK, whose hand finally slips from his hair. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m just…very lucky.”

A slow, liquid smile makes its way across Carlos’ lips. He kisses him. “If you’re lucky, then I’m lucky, too.” He flops back down, taking TK with him. “Now get some sleep.”

Carlos tucks himself into his neck, breath tickling the junction of his shoulder, while TK’s hand finds its way into his hair again.

He’s okay with staying awake a bit longer if it means he gets to take in and marvel this life of theirs, this delicate and private moment in their home. TK holds the man who holds his heart so carefully, so kindly, and proved to him a long time ago that he’d help carry the weight. This man he’s going to marry.

Sleep does find him eventually, but not until after Carlos wakes up once again, kisses him, and wraps TK up in his arms impossibly tighter.

[reyescarlos]

it’s been about a month since i've done one of these! here’s some of an exes to lovers au i'm sorting out. please enjoy this scene between tk and andrea 💜

“I love your son more than anything and I let him down. I can never forgive myself for that,” TK says decidedly, finally bringing himself to look her in the eyes.

Andrea raises a brow, her head tilting to the side as she studies him.

“You can’t exactly move forward if you’re still holding on to the past.”

TK frowns. “That’s the thing though. There’s no real way forward. This is all I’ll ever be to him. I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to look at me and not think about the past, about how I ruined us. How could he not?” he asks, more so to himself.

“Did you come back to win his heart?”

TK shakes his head at once. Through all the disorientation of being back in the same space with Carlos again after all this time, that’s never been in question. In moving back to Austin, he’d hoped to at least see his ex again, but not in a romantic sense. He couldn’t possibly dare to dream such a thing.

“I lost that five years ago. I’m still trying to accept that. But, no. I came back to apologize and maybe, if I’m lucky, earn back his trust.”

TK looks out across the yard for a moment, Andrea’s well-tended garden. The fragrance of her flowers wafts through the air on the gentle breeze that passes.

“I know I broke our relationship in ways I can never undo. But if we could be friends again or even acquaintances, that’d be more than enough for me. That’s what I’ve missed most, you know? Just talking to him. Being around him. These last few years have been really hard and it’s all my fault.”

TK scrapes his nail against the side of the mug.

“I don’t really remember much from that night. But I do remember feeling like I had to set him free so I did and said things I’m not proud of to make him go.”

TK’s vision blurs with newly formed tears.

“I know he would have stayed to see me through it. He would have stuck with me, loved me even though I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t want that for him. He deserved better. He deserved more than I could give him at the time.”

He wipes at his eyes before looking at Andrea again and setting his mug down.

“You did an amazing job raising Carlos. I’ve never met anyone like him before and I know that I never will again. I was so lucky to be loved by him. I knew it back then too, but I just…I lost my way and I lost him too.”

Andrea’s gaze is intent as she looks at him. It’s so much like staring into Carlos’ eyes. There’s such warmth and compassion within her gaze. She cups his cheek and TK’s last bit of resolve breaks.

TK lets out a sob and Andrea’s arms encircle him at once, catching him as he breaks down. She soothes him in the same way his own mother would, gentle slow circles across his back as she quietly tells him it’ll all be okay.

TK prays that she’s right, that these words are prophetic. He clings to her, his fingers burrowing against the softness of her cardigan. He closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath. He’s too distracted in the move to notice they aren’t alone until a voice that doesn’t belong to either of them speaks.

“Ma, Dad’s asking when—,” Carlos says, stopping short.

TK sniffs and shifts from Andrea, putting space between them. He looks away, his eyes casting down to try and disguise the fact that he’s been crying.

“Tell him we’ll start in a few, okay? Five minutes or so. Surely his stomach can last that long,” she muses.

Carlos doesn’t laugh or make any sound in response.

TK licks his lips and looks up again. Carlos is still in the doorway, expression grave, but he still doesn’t speak. He looks between his mother and TK, eyes settling on the latter. TK is sure he must look rough. He’s got a headache from crying so much and he feels sick to his stomach.

Carlos searches his face almost as if calculating TK’s hurt. TK does his best to telegraph that he’s okay.

“Carlos. Five minutes,” Andrea repeats softly.

After a beat, Carlos nods and seems to come back to himself. He tears his eyes away from TK and looks to his mother.

“Okay, I’ll let him know.”

TK lets out a breath as Carlos disappears back into the house. Andrea turns to him, arms spread open again.

“Come here,” she says.

TK goes without hesitation. He feels far more relaxed now, but still he doesn’t shy away from the comfort she provides. He knows he’s not in any fit state to go back into the house just yet.

He takes a breath. Andrea’s perfume is delicate and floral, but there’s also the additional spices of the meal she prepared for them all this evening. It’s simply nice.

TK smiles and unfurls himself once he’s had his fill.

“I’m glad you don’t hate me. I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” he jokes, but Andrea looks troubled at his words.

“I can see the way you look at my son. I can tell what’s in your heart. I can see just how deeply your hurt runs. You’re a good person who has been through so much in your young life. It breaks my heart to see you hurting like this. You can’t keep punishing yourself, TK.”

“But what if I deserve it? After everything I’ve put Carlos through and my own family too? I’ve hurt a lot of people,” he argues.

“And you’ve been making amends ever since,” she counters adamantly. “I know Carlos would say the same thing too.”

TK doesn’t have a response to that. He bites back on his lower lip, sitting with her words for a moment. She pats his knee twice and rises. TK numbly gets to his feet too and begins to trail after her.

“Mrs. Reyes?” TK says, stopping in his tracks.

She turns back to look at him, her outline haloed in the light coming from the glass doors. She looks like an angel, bathed in warmth and brightness here in the dark of night.

“Thank you for listening to me,” he finishes softly. “I didn’t even realize how much I needed that.”

The smile she treats him to is so full of kindness, it’s a bit overwhelming but he’s grateful for it.

She comes closer and cups his face again, her skin warm against his cheek. It steadies him, forges his nerves into steel. He borrows her strength.

“Any time, sweetheart. Whatever you need.”

TK falters for a moment.

“Do you think– Could we…could we maybe keep all of this between us? The last thing I want to do is complicate things even more for him. If he knew how I felt, it might…he’s in a good place. I don’t want to mess with that.”

She eyes him for a moment thoughtfully, her lips twitching for a second as if holding herself back from saying something she ought not to.

In the end, she simply nods, draping her arm over his shoulders as she takes a leading step to the door.

[terramous]

i am desperate if nothing else

words: 3.9k bthb: poisoning title: sleeping at last - mercury unbeta'd because i wrote this all in one sitting without an outline and dont need someone else to tell me it's bad dedicated to my beloved @marjansmarwani <3 carlos whump for the soul AO3

TK is as surprised as the rest of his team when dispatch informs them that their medical call was taking them to the APD precinct, and TK couldn’t fight the fear that shot down his spine like an ice-cold lightning bolt as he thought about who he knew was on shift. 

But he was texting Carlos not even an hour ago, and his fiance wouldn’t have had enough time to go out on a call, get secretly injured and return in that timeframe. 

The most likely reason why they were called in was for a civilian. Officers were usually having their medical emergencies outside of the precinct, in the field where everything that could go wrong tended to. 

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Nancy chided from the passenger seat. “I know you think that if you look away from him for two seconds then the roof is going to cave down on his head but I assure you, he’s fine.” 

“He’s on shift though. And all we know from dispatch is that we have a mid-twenties male who’s not in a good way,” TK said, trying to keep his tone neutral. 

“They also said he appeared to be really sick. It doesn’t make any sense if Carlos was sick enough to need an ambo visit you would’ve noticed something was off with him this morning. You’re not an idiot, TK.”

“Still.”

“I’m sure if he’s there he’s using all his TK-enforced medical knowledge to help out as best he can.”

The rest of the ambulance ride was tense, but Nancy kept her light banter, mixing it with the odd reassurance as they moved through the streets of Austin. TK would never admit it but she was a good presence to have at times of stress, however mild or severe.

Thankfully, as soon as they crossed through the main entrance, an officer TK didn’t recognise scurried over to them, “this way, he’s really not well.” 

“Can you tell us what happened?” Tommy beat TK to the punch. His mind was miles ahead of hers but hers was much clearer. 

“I heard him being sick in the bathroom and thought maybe it was just a hungover civilian, a newbie with nerves or someone who lucked out with food poisoning so I didn’t think too much of it. After all, people tend to want privacy when they’re not feeling great but by the time I washed my hands I could still hear him throwing up.” 

TK hissed in sympathy, not something he particularly felt like doing in the APD bathrooms after everything he’d heard about them from Carlos’ peeved text messages. 

“I knocked on the door, just wanting to ask if there was anything I could do to help but he didn’t even lock the stall behind him. I took one look and knew he was really not well,” the officer continued, still walking at a brisk pace a few steps ahead of the crew. He seemed very agitated, sweeping his hands in large and frantic gestures as he talked. “I stayed with him for a bit, thinking I’d help him get cleaned up once he finished and talk to the captain about him heading home, but he just seemed to get worse and worse.” 

TK scanned the bullpen, looking for any sign of Carlos, only to come up with his desk unoccupied. So he was probably out on a call, but TK couldn’t help the tiny part of his brain that was screaming at him. 

“My partner called 911 when he just started shaking and muttering,” the officer pushed open the door at the furthest end of the bullpen, “he’s right in here. The first stall.”

They really didn’t need much clarification as there were a few officers gathered around, hovering nervously around the opening of the stall. 

TK was the first one into the stall, catching sight of the sweat-slicked black curls that made his heart leap to his throat. “Alright can I get some space with the patient please?” 

The officers parted easily, leaving TK to kneel on the floor of the bathroom stall and sling his bag off of his shoulder, unzipping it quickly. Carlos was leaning heavily against the side, sweat dripping off of him by the bucket. From what he had gathered from the other officer’s story, there was no way Carlos wasn’t dehydrated by now.

“Hey Carlos, how are you holding up?” TK asked softly, easily slipping his gloves on.

“TK?” 

“Yeah, I’m here and I’m gonna take real good care of you.”

Groaning, Carlos reached out a hand to rest on TK’s knee, a simple contact, a much bigger comfort. “I told them not to call 911. It’s not that bad, babe. It’s nothing.” 

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” TK said, clicking his tongue. “I’m just gonna take your pulse if that’s alright?”

Carlos nodded, “mmhmm.” 

Taking Carlos’ wrist in his hand and pressing his fingers over the pulse point, TK felt his own pulse spike. Carlos’ heart was racing, which he had to remind himself made sense for the amount of vomiting that had been going on. 

“Pulse is 160, Cap.” 

Tachycardia.

“That’s high,” Carlos hummed, his eyes heavy-lidded and not even looking at him. 

“Can you tell me what symptoms you’ve been having?”

“Sick, mostly. My head is pounding and I’m a bit shaky. Mostly just throwing up my organs.” Carlos winced seemingly just at the thought of it, clearly the events leading up to their arrival had been particularly unpleasant. TK knew how much Carlos hated vomiting, insisting that he had never done so since he was fourteen, taking outrageous lengths to avoid it every time he was nauseous.

“That doesn’t sound very fun, but hopefully we can get you sorted out soon so you’ll feel better.”

TK turned to look over his shoulder, to find Nancy handing him a pulse ox before he could even ask. “Respirations are 24– pretty shallow.” 

There wasn’t enough room for them to run vitals together but that was something she could do just by watching. Which TK was grateful for as he was too busy trying to figure out everything else to focus on counting respirations. 

“You know the routine, I’m just gonna clip this on your finger. Might be a bit tight or uncomfortable.” 

Carlos just hummed again, “go for gold.” 

TK clipped the pulse oximeter on easily enough, already grabbing for the appropriate BP cuff as he waited for the reading, a soft beeping filling the air as it counted Carlos’ heartbeats. 

“Have you taken any medication today?” 

He was met with another lethargic noncommittal noise as Carlos found the energy to speak. “Tylenol–for the headache.” 

“And when was that?” 

“Few hours ago.”

“How many did you take?” 

“Two.” 

TK straightened Carlos’ finger to check the blinking red display on the screen of the pulse oximeter. 

“SpO2 of 98%,” TK relayed, moving on quickly. That was a completely normal reading and it did good to ease his mind, even if it was only a tiny bit. “I’m going to take your blood pressure now, okay?” 

Carlos just nodded this time, offering his arm to TK who was quick to feel for Carlos’ pulse, his fingers only needing to meet the inside of his elbow for a brief moment before TK felt it, a steady and strong thrum against his fingers. 

The tearing of velcro was the loudest thing in the room as TK moved to wrap the cuff around Carlos’ bicep. “Are you still with me?” he asked as nonchalantly as possible, noticing Carlos’ silence and faraway look. 

“Not going anywhere.” 

“Good.” The diaphragm of TK’s stethoscope found its place in the same position his fingers had been a mere moment ago as he adjusted the way the air bulb sat in his palm. Twisting the valve shut in a few short movements between forefinger and thumb, he was ready to inflate the cuff. 

“It’s going to get a bit tight in a few seconds but it’ll be quick.” 

Carlos just hummed, completely used to the process by now. 

TK watched the dial on the gauge climb with every pump of the bulb, until it hit 180 and he twisted the valve ever so slightly in the other direction. With a soft whoosh the cuff began to deflate. 

The thunderous noise of Carlos’ heartbeat began filling his ears as the dial slid past the 150 mark– not ideal.

TK took the stethoscope out of his ears and completely opened the valve to let the cuff completely deflate as soon as he couldn’t hear the heartbeat anymore. Casually moving to remove the cuff he spoke. 

“150/95.” 

Hypertension. 

Carlos furrowed his brows, undoubtedly trying to remember what normal readings were meant to be. TK didn’t think he’d figure it out, he seemed to be quite far out of it. 

“When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink?”

“Lunch.” Carlos’ eyes were shut now as he tilted his head to lean against the wall behind him, taking slow and calculated breaths, his lips parted.

“What’d you have?” 

“A sandwich, cupcakes Nate brought.” 

TK was pulling his pupil torch out of his pocket as Carlos lurched, scrambling to hold onto the toilet and heave himself over it before throwing up. TK was quick to follow suit and support his partner’s frame as he heaved and shook with the force of his own bile leaving his mouth. 

At least there was no blood in it. That was good enough for TK as he helped to aid his trembling boyfriend back into his previous position, wiping some of the curls plastered to Carlos’ forehead away in a slightly unprofessional manner. 

“Nancy, run a line of saline,” Tommy’s voice came from behind them. 

“On it, Cap.” 

Carlos looked around lazily, still seeming quite dazed as he spoke. “Why? I don’t need an IV.” 

“It’s just for dehydration, you’ve been throwing up a lot,” TK explained softly, in his most reassuring voice possible. 

Reaching back into the kit on his belt TK grabbed his pupil torch again and clicked it on. “Just look at me while she does that. You’re going to feel a little pinch and I’m going to shine this light in your eyes. It’ll be a bit bright but just keep your eyes open and it will only take a couple seconds.”

Carlos was a wonderful patient, he didn’t even flinch as Nancy cannulated him and he just happily looked straight at TK as the light passed into the far side of one eye, and then the other. 

As the light disappeared back into TK’s belt, Carlos blinked rapidly, a few tears gathering on his lash line. 

“A bit bright?” 

Carlos just nodded.

“Pupils are dilated but round and responsive.” 

Here came the hard part. 

“Any drugs or alcohol?”

“Nothing like that,” Carlos pursed his lips and looked up at TK with cloudy yet quizzical eyes, “why?” 

“Just routine questions,” he explained with a shrug that he hoped seemed nonchalant and natural.

“Did you hit your head at all?”

“No.”

TK didn’t even notice Nancy move until she spoke softly. “Temp of 103°.”

Fever. TK had suspected as much.

It wasn’t a dramatic ordeal, but they would definitely have to take him to the hospital. Probably just to ride out the dehydration with an IV for a few hours and then sent on his merry way. But the hospital was definitely their next visit. 

“Nancy, can you get the stretcher from the bus?”

“On it.” 

TK was glad he had a team because he didn’t want to be away from Carlos for even a split second, let alone long enough to get the stretcher through the bullpen. But Tommy and Nancy had his back, they always would. 

“We’re gonna have to swing by the hospital, get you checked out,” TK explained, already preparing for an objection. 

“Seems dramatic, but I’m sitting in a puddle of sweat.” 

“That you are. Think you’ll be able to walk to the stretcher when Nancy gets back?” 

Carlos looked at him for a few moments before nodding slightly. “I can do it.” 

Getting Carlos off the floor of the bathroom stall was not the easiest endeavour of TK’s career, the lack of space making it quite difficult to get the two of them on their feet but they made it in the end, Carlos leaning heavily on TK with half-lidded eyes.

“Just a few steps, yeah?” TK asked, making sure to shoulder as much of Carlos as possible, seeing how close Carlos was to losing the strength he needed to keep himself upright. 

“I can do it, don’t worry,” Carlos assured him, clinging onto his boyfriend with one arm, his IV bag in hand as TK used both of his arms to support his weight. 

Unfortunately the stretcher wouldn’t make it into the bathroom so Carlos had to walk out the door to get to it, but TK had hold of him and there was no way in hell that he was going to let go. 

Carlos trudged on without a word, gaze transfixed on the door and the stretcher that lay just beyond it. He knew he had to get there, but only had to take himself that far and TK’s team would take care of the rest. 

No matter what, they were there and they weren’t going to anything short of everything possible to help him. 

“You’re doing great, just a bit further and you can kick your feet up.” 

Just when TK thought it would just be a few more steps and this nightmare would be halfway over with Carlos situated on the stretcher, Carlos’ steps halted quite jarringly, startling TK. 

“What is it?” TK asked, turning to Carlos, keeping his grip on his fiance firm, stabilising. 

Just in time to see the rapid blinking as Carlos’ head tipped to the sky and his knees buckled. 

It took all of TK’s fast reflexes just to keep Carlos from clipping his head on the sink as he went down. The tremors were full blown convulsions by the time the two of them hit ground. 

“He’s seizing!” TK hissed, quickly turning Carlos onto his side. 

“I’m timing it,” Nancy supplied hastily. If TK dared look away from Carlos he would likely find her looking frantically between her watch and Carlos’ quivering body. 

It was the longest two minutes of TK’s life. 

To kneel there helplessly while Carlos’  frame was wracked with a seizure was something TK had never imagined. Watching the spasms of his limbs, the jerky movements of his head, listening to the grunts and groans that bounced off the tile walls of this small space. 

Horrific. If TK were to describe it in a single word. 

Slowly, the seizure tapered off, as Carlos stilled, TK felt like he could breathe again. 

He gave Carlos’ mouth a quick sweep, ensuring that it was clear, only a thick stream of saliva to drip onto the floor. “Airway is clear, he’s breathing.”

“Take another set of vitals,” Tommy instructed calmly but TK knew her well, he heard that unfamiliar edge to her voice. 

Nancy took the lead on the next set, clearly sensing that TK was otherwise distracted, waiting for any signs of consciousness following the seizure. But he listened in as she relayed her findings. 

“Pulse 165bpm.” 

Carlos didn’t move, but TK’s eyes were locked on him, watching the slight way his lips shifted with every breath. He was breathing, he was going to be okay, he had to be.

“Respirations 18.”

Normal. TK had to convince himself that Carlos was going to be fine lest he fall apart right here and now in the bathroom of the APD precinct. Some rational part of his brain had to cling onto something that wasn’t the worst case scenario despite the fact that he just watched the love of his life have a seizure. 

“SpO2 89.”

Panic struck. TK was about to move for the first time since Carlos stopped seizing, only to find Tommy had somehow appeared next to him, already sliding an oxygen mask over Carlos’ face and setting the tank next to TK’s leg. 

“BP 85/50.”

“Let’s hook him up to the lifepak, TK help me roll him on his back,” Tommy said. But it lacked the firmness of an instruction, regardless of how eager TK was to do exactly as she said. 

Carlos’ eyes remained firmly closed as Tommy anchored his head in place, maintaining his airway. 

“TK, can you put an OPA in?”

“Yes, Cap,” TK said, a little too hastily. 

There was something sickening about measuring up the airway. He’d done it a million times before but never like this, never lining up each end of the hook-shaped plastic tube with Carlos’ earlobe and the corner of his mouth, carefully shifting a reservoir mask out of the way.

The one with the blue tip was the perfect size. 

TK couldn’t help his hand shaking as he used the other to hold open Carlos’ mouth, sliding the end of the OPA against the roof of his mouth until he felt resistance, and in the fluid motion he twisted the plastic and it easily fell into place with little assistance on his part, the plastic rim catching on Carlos’ teeth. 

Realistically it had only taken him ten seconds, but it felt like forever. 

He couldn’t stop himself from thinking of exactly how far the other end of the airway sat down Carlos’ throat. 

Nancy was quick to unbutton Carlos’ shirt instead of pulling out her trauma shears, after all it was halfway undone when they arrived so why hack apart his uniform? 

With the fluid placement of the pads and wires, Nancy clicked the lifepak on, the display quickly piecing itself together to show the team what they wanted to see. A normal rhythm. 

“Okay, TK, on the count of three I want you to turn Carlos towards you, and Nancy get that backboard under him.”

If TK took a backseat in his brain it was normal, standard procedure. Nancy shifted the lifepak to the other side of Carlos’ pelvis, next to TK as she retrieved the backboard, lining up the green plastic with Carlos’ head and feet. 

“One, two, three–” TK tucked a hand over Carlos’ shoulder, the other on his hip and pulled Carlos toward him and Tommy followed the motion, stabilising Carlos’ head, using her knee to hold her hand steady. 

Nancy slid the backboard into place and with another count, Carlos was tipped back onto it and adjusted until he was situated perfectly in the centre. 

Tommy and Nancy handled the whole affair of strapping him in and positioning the lifepack, oxygen tank and fluid bag. One between his ankles, the other on top of his legs, the last on his chest. TK just allowed himself the small kindness of running his fingers through Carlos’ hair, sweat-soaked strands catching on his nylon gloves, his fiance’s face unmoving. 

Then it was just a matter of calling a few of the lingering officers back in to assist them in lifting the backboard onto the stretcher, Tommy completely taking charge, letting TK slip into autopilot as Carlos was secured and the stretcher lifted up to full height with a firm click. 

-

Carlos woke slowly, like he was simply waking up from a nap instead of a seizure and likely overdose. At least that’s what the doctors said his labs indicated. 

He’d been swapped from a reservoir mask to a nasal cannula as his oxygen levels improved and held steady since arriving at the hospital; he looked much more himself without half of his face obscured by medical-grade plastic. 

Fortunately TK had been able to stay by his side the entire time, Tommy and Nancy not even mentioning it as they told him they had to get back to shift, Tommy pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head as they left, urging him to call with any updates. So he’d been sitting in a little curtained-off room of the ER in his paramedic uniform for three hours and he was itching to wear anything made of a fabric less firm and scratchy. 

“Hey, handsome,” TK said, a soft smile curling his lips, “have a good sleep?” 

Carlos took a few moments to process what TK said, clearly still piecing together his surroundings and where they lined up with his most recent memories. “Mm, what happened?” 

“We’re not entirely sure yet but the doctors think it was an overdose.” 

“An overdose of what?” 

TK sighed. “Antidepressants, they think. I guess they just uh,” he gestured vaguely to his head, “yeah.”

Carlos’ face scrunched up in confusion. “But I didn’t take anything.” 

“That’s the tricky part. Also the part that is going to have one of your coworkers coming by this evening to talk to you about. Especially due to your career, there’s a slight, but not negligible possibility that it may have been a targeted attack.” 

“Are you saying that I got poisoned?”

TK hurried to interject. “We’re not sure, but it’s a possibility.” 

“How would that have even happened?”

“Possibly if you ate or drank something that someone else prepared for you. Otherwise I’m not too sure. No one is saying that is what happened but until we know how you ended up overdosing, it’s still an option.” 

Just the idea of someone setting out with intention to harm Carlos made TK’s stomach churn, it wasn’t the first time and yet he feared it may not be the last. 

Carlos went eerily silent, a dark look overcoming his features. “The cupcakes… that Nate brought.” 

Now that was a shock. Nathan was Carlos’ partner, they’d worked together for years and Carlos trusted him completely, with his life every call they went on. It made no sense, but Nate wasn’t at the precinct when TK walked in. 

“And where was Nate when the ambulance arrived?” TK asked slowly, careful not to insinuate anything. 

Carlos shook his head. “He went home not long after our lunch break– he wasn’t feeling well.”

That made more sense, but still made TK’s blood run cold. Considering the state they found Carlos in a matter of hours ago, what could be said for his partner who fell ill sooner and wasn’t admitted to the hospital three hours ago?

He was already pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts before Carlos could even speak, pressing the phone to his ear. 

“Nathan Lovell. I’m not here right now, you know what to do.” 

“Fuck.”

TK hung up and redialed faster than he could think to do it, his body just knowing what to do of its own accord. 

“Nathan Lovell. I’m not-”

TK’s attention was grabbed by the loud opening of the ambulance bay doors just up the corridor, pulling the phone away from his ear to listen. 

“Twenty-seven year-old male. Presented as a fever and blurred vision but now possible overdose. Seized twice since we arrived on scene. Arrested as we pulled in just now.” 

“Resus is open, straight through those doors.”

Through the gap in the curtain TK watched the stretcher whisk past, swarmed with medical personnel. Nancy Gillian straddling the patient and delivering chest compressions. 

“Is that–” Carlos started, sitting up to get a better look despite the fact that the scene before them was already long gone. 

“I- I don’t know.”