#it is very much bainbridge island

[millylouedward]

- in the olympic peninsula of northwest washington state, a small town named forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds.

[iknowhatheydidinleeds]

Recommend me some fanfics please?

Hola! Sure thing:

📌the very last drops of an ink pen by staybeautiful Or just after midnight on Harry's 30th birthday, he realizes he can't do another year without change. So, he forces it. Breaking up with Louis might have hurt less if they weren't co-owners of Studio 28, living within walking distance of each other, and if he wasn't the thing Harry was most afraid of losing. Secluding themselves on their shared estate in an attempt to save their working relationship may shed a light on where everything else started going wrong. And perhaps give them a chance to fix it.

im really enjoying this author right now and how develops the characters:

📌Halfway Home by Itsmotivatingcara Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson were improbable childhood friends, much to Harry's dismay. They were thrown together each summer when Harry was forced to visit Louis' grandfathers' ranch in Black Hills, South Dakota. With each passing year their friendship blossomed into something more. When trail rides turned to stolen kisses, and tragedies turned to confessions, until they could no longer deny the inevitable draw they felt for one another.

Though life and their future plans soon set them on different paths.

Ten years later, Louis is the proud owner of Halfway Home Wildlife Refuge. Harry returns to the ranch to escape the perils of his past in London, and though their memories still haunt Louis, he won't let that deter him from his goals. However, someone has been keeping a close eye on the refuge, and possibly Louis specifically, and Harry's return may have unleashed more that just old passions. There's a hunter lurking in the Hills, someone who's decided they've bided their time long enough.

📌Streetlights in the dark blue by Itsmotivatingcara (WIP) Louis Tomlinson is an investigative journalist.

He's spent the better part of his life researching the psyches of serial killers, and publishing articles to provide a deeper understanding into their methodologies. His pen-name, Orion, is well known around the globe. An alter-ego that keeps his pockets lined, and his identity private.

That is, until a letter arrives at his home address. A letter containing a symbol. One dubbed by a serial killer who'd vanished three years prior. The postage stamp? Bainbridge Island.

He'd spent so long peering into the darkness, it should be no surprise to discover that something had been looking back.

The island presents a host of mysteries. It also houses a nosy witch, determined to break down his walls. And an FBI agent hellbent on shattering his carefully constructed world.

Enjoy!

[valadon]

it's my last night in seattle after my little trip and i have many feels about this city, grunge nostalgia, and the fics i wrote in the past 3 years without ever having set foot here. so, read on under the cut if you dare...

in august 2020 i got heavily back into my grunge roots as a coping mechanism for a falling-apart life (relationship, work, living situation, etc etc). i started writing a nostalgia-heavy fanfic set in 1989 seattle, creating my own little cast of original characters to play with the grunge guys i loved, from my little apartment overlooking a textiles market in a crumbling victorian building in east london, england. covid-era london couldn't have been further from grunge-era seattle, and i'd never been further northwest than san francisco years back, but somehow none of that deterred me. i read and watched everything i could about seattle, pored over google maps creating my own landscape of how it might look, feel, smell; where people might have lived, the streets they might have walked, the parks they might've visited, alongside the apocryphal venues like the vogue, central, showbox, metropolis etc - venues which, in some cases, still existed only in old photos found on pinterest. seattle became a character in my fic, "butterflies", as much as anybody else. i imagined it might smell like the rain, or pine, or cigarette smoke, or saltwater. i imagined crowded low-rise brick and timber buildings, a more intimate city than london or new york where i ended up moving and now live. i went back further into seattle's past for my second fic "shadows" and imagined a darker city, with shuttered churches and a sprawling red light district, an easy place to fall apart.

this year, nearly 3 years after i started writing about seattle, i made it here. it's been totally surreal, like deja vu or something. the little map of the city in my head came to life and yet at the same time i've been struck by the things i didn't know, the kind of things you only learn from being somewhere. it's HILLY here - the gradients are steep, and between downtown and capitol hill is a constant climb. the streets are wide and cut with alleyways, the sunlight is so bright here. the raison d'etre cafe where jeff worked is literally downstairs from the sub pop office; the vogue is around the corner from the northwest school where stone and steve turner studied, the monastery club was very close to the off ramp, the showbox is across the street from pike place (and nextdoor to a super seedy, ancient xxx theater). bainbridge island is huge, and beautiful.

i think the major impression i get is that seattle as a city feels SMALL. like, you can imagine what a small world this was back in the grunge days; people would've bumped into each other all the time, at shows and bars and cafes and just on the street. it's really sad to see that the city is beginning to buckle under all the big glassy developments, but the ghost of it is still there if you know where to look. the metropolis is a dingy little cafe now, the vogue and raison are salons, the ok hotel is apartments, the monastery site is all construction. the showbox and the central and off ramp are still recognisably music venues, though i know places like this are under threat to a degree and it breaks my grungey heart.

walking round this city with my partner the past couple days, i was always looking, at times internally SCREAMING - because here's where i had jeff and sara share pierogis, here's where stone and andy threw stones off the pier, here's where alicia and grace got off the bus to go to monastery, all these little moments from the fictional map in my head - and i have no one else to share this with but you guys, because as insane as it might be, my partner has 0 idea i've written about 500k words of seattle-set fic, and to him it's just another kind of cool city to explore. why i am so terminally ashamed of revealing my writing to anyone irl is a whole thing - my work exists only online to strangers (and tumblr friends) - but i'm working on it. i can definitely say that visiting seattle has only made me want to write about it more; it's a truly fascinating, layered place. i recommend it to anyone, and if you go, @magpiewithacamera 's incredible grunge history posts/photos are invaluable in finding the grungey layer beneath. i also took some photos, which i'll share at some point.

i dont live in london anymore, but seattle was an escape for me long before i ever came here. so: i bought a mother love bone poster at one of the underground shops in pike place market and a coaster with the view from kerry park, another location i wrote about what feels like a lifetime ago in the anxious midnight hours of a covid london night, and while i was walking down pike street, with the pine-smell and the edge of rain in the air just like i imagined they would be, i thought: when i write about this place again, i'll make sure i mention the hills.

[sayheykid]

🍓 i love a finn let's hear more about finn please

finn has gone through. so much. he's a pain in the ass sometimes but i do love him.

without further ado. here are some fun (and less fun) facts

his full name is harrison finley but he just goes by finn

his dad was don finley, who was an excellent pitcher and a piece of shit human

he's a catcher!!! he was originally a pitcher (trying to live up to his dad) but then switched to catching out of spite

his mom died when he was young and it really messed him up

he got pretty self destructive in high school (tied to his mom's passing), got into drinking and vandalism and riding a motorcycle

it was at this point he stopped playing baseball and it wasn't clear whether he'd ever play again. it's not like he had college coaches or scouts kicking down his door (though he would have had he not gone off the rails)

took a gap year, during which he was working some terrible retail job and trying not to kill customers

(he always got really good feedback from his managers though which, while hilarious, did not make him enjoy his job any more)

eventually finds his way back to baseball and is rehabilitated to the point of being a college world series winning DI catcher! (probably goes pro eventually)

in college, is part of a catcher tandem with tyler hadley, my babiest boy

man of very very few words. he just doesn't talk. this makes all the players younger than him (nearly the whole team at some point, given his gap year) think that he hates them

from bainbridge island, wa

is jewish

decent artist

better lockpick

poli sci major

[toughgirlchallenges]

Steph Jagger - World Record Skier, Claiming Femininity as a Super-Power. Author of “Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, And a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains”.

Steph set a world record for skiing the most vertical feet in a year, but that is just a small part of her story. She is also an author and a sought-after mentor and coach who helps guide people towards a deeper understanding of themselves and their stories.

Steph's work, which includes speaking and facilitating, centers around the intersection of loss, the nature of deep remembrance, and the personal journey of re-creation. 

Her first book, Unbound: A Story of Snow and Self-Discovery, is not just about setting a world record for skiing, but also about growing up and claiming femininity as a super-power. It is a powerful and inspiring read that everyone should experience.

Steph's mother has late-stage Alzheimer's, and she wrote a book about their time together on a road-trip, which is called Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, And a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains. 

This poignant and moving book is about the way we are pulled apart and the way we are re-membered. 

“It is a story about mothers and daughters— a book about nature, and memory, and loss of all kinds. It’s about transforming our pain into something much larger. This is a book about love.”

***

Don't miss out on new episodes of the Tough Girl Podcast that are released every Tuesday at 7am UK time! Hit the subscribe button to stay updated.

By supporting the Tough Girl Podcast on Patreon, you can help increase the representation of female role models in the media especially in the world of adventure and physical challenges. Visit www.patreon.com/toughgirlpodcast to contribute. Thank you for your support!

***

Show notes

Who is Steph

Living on Bainbridge Island, Washington State, USA

Growing up in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Creating a nice life for herself

Hitting 26 years old and knowing that something was missing

Deciding to quit everything and sell everything

A year of emersion in her own joy

Deciding to go skiing and travelling

How that 1 year away changed her whole life

Her first Book: Unbound: A Story of Snow and Self-Discovery 

Her mum being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s

Her 2nd book: Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, And a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains.  

Her early years growing up in an athletic family 

Being encouraged to play sports

Learning to ski from 3 yrs old

Her early 20s and feeling pressure to achieve

Being very goal and achievement orientated 

Happiness….

Doing all the things she was told to do… and now what?

Why the journey was stunning, but the finish line was just another ordinary day

Making the decision to change her life and build something different and new

What was holding her back

Turning the dream into a plan

Having a year to put it together

Financial and logistically planning and getting fit for the challenge

The Hero’s Journey - Joseph Campbell 

Women, risk taking and gratitude

Skiing all around the world

The grind of travel  

Magical moments - Skiing in Japan

Finding love and taking time to physically recover from the trip

Her mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2015

The relationship with her mum and planning a journey through the Rocky Mountains

Are you listening for the call of adventure, and do you have the courage to say yes, when you hear it?

How the family is coping with the diagnosis and caring for a loved one

The ongoing process of grief

Creating memories that won’t be remembered

Suffering with depression and managing mental health 

How to connect with Steph

Words of advice

  Social Media

Website: stephjagger.com  

Instagram: @stephjagger 

Book: Everything Left to Remember: My Mother, Our Memories, And a Journey Through the Rocky Mountains. 

Book: Unbound: A Story of Snow and Self-Discovery

  Check out this episode!

[a52-i-guess]

my trip to the bainbridge island art museum

so this is the sort of thing i would normally just post directly on discord, but there ended up being way too much to easily post, and too many images to handle, and too many servers to copy it to and...

i figured, well im basically blogging, and tumblr is (believe it or not) actually intended to be used for that, and not like pictures of anarchist kermit the frog in lingerie or sadposts about hatsune miku whatever the fuck. so i figured id post it here instead, and then share it to the servers im in.

no idea if thisll be a recurring thing or not -- whether or not it does i imagine my blog will still mostly be reblogs of nonsense anyway.

ANYWAY

i went to this neat little art museum on bainbridge island, full of art that local people had made, many of whom were minorities -- trans people, indigenous people, black people, etc.

The first floor was... clown themed? a big portion of it was a bunch of blown glass by some lady, all made into bicycle horns and clown faces and stuff. i wasnt really all that interested (sorry riley), so i didn't take any pictures.

there was also a big improvised machine-instrument-sculpture thingy and that was pretty cool, but sadly i wasnt in picture-taking mode yet so i didnt get a picture of it.

on to the actual pictures, on the second floor...

most of the second floor was devoted to this guy who did these huge, messy and impressionistic paintings of landscapes. exactly my kind of shit, which is why i couldnt help myself from taking pictures of them

i love all of them so much (there were even more, but these were my favorites -- most of the rest were more brightly colored, and featured people)

the next bit was a collection of these things they called "art books" -- little guys halfway between zines and sculptures. they were really cool, and extremely varied. they were very earnest, and very... they made me think a lot, and feel feelings i couldnt really define.

oh and oops! looks like i hit the maximum on images per post. second part coming soon

[bikeforlife]

Bike Tour Blog

I honestly can’t believe I made it from the Pacific to Atlantic.   This morning I woke up in my own bed for the first time since early February.  Oh my god it felt so good.  If a mattress maker wanted a testimonial, today would definitely be the day to get one from me.   After 45 days straight of being on a bike it feels really good to be home. 

On the first week we made from San Diego to Tucson Arizona.  This section had some significant climbs through places like Alpine CA  and  Pine Valley CA and lots of desert riding in eastern tip of California and the state of Arizona.  We camped in San Dunes CA where ATV’s are very popular and in places like desert view towers that had insane views of the Ko-Pah mountains.   We also slept in a town park in small town in Arizona called Welton.  I did snap my chain in Pine Valley but Tone was right there to help out.  It was also the first time I rode my bike on the interstate and the first time I ever had rode a bike 10 miles straight downhill from the Ko Pah Mountains to Ocatillo California. 

The next few week would take us through New Mexico and the beginning of Texas.  The highlight of this section was the climb through the Gila National Forest on our way to Emory Pass.  This section had absolutely breathtaking views and an abundance of nature.  We climbed to over 8200 feet of elevation at the peak and went through awesome towns like Silver City NM and Hillsboro, NM.  A couple days later we crossed the border into Texas at El Paso. This mammoth state would be approximately 1/3rd of the total miles we would cover.  Many parts of the Us but especially Texas  had recently experience significant weather event with snow, freezing conditions, and a failure of the local power grid.  Fortunately we got to the state about a week after the weather had passed.   

In Eastern Texas a significant portion of our miles would be on US highway 90.  This would feature some awesome small towns like Marathon and Sierra Blanca Texas. The route also had remote areas  of riding where there wouldn’t even be a gas station for 80+ miles.  I found myself having more to think and unwind than at any part of my adult life.   It was also during this stretch that we stayed at some great state parks.  Seminole Canyon State Park and Lost Maples State Park in particular stood out to me.    There is something magical about looking at the stars on a clear night without light pollution.  

Eventually we went through Austin, Texas and I got to reconnect with my friends Jason and Max. After so much time pedaling through remote areas it feels really good to see friends and be in a city.   Austin as a city has grown so much since I was there last.  I ate great food during our off day and found an amazing bike mechanic that help me resolve a derailleur issue that had been lingering since San Diego.  

We would hit a few more state parks on the eastern half of Texas and eventually crossed into Louisiana.  After being in a very dry part of Texas the swamps of Louisiana offered a very different riding experience.  For the most part the terrain was flat and the roads were in good condition.  This part of the tour was special to me because of the amazing friends we made.  During one week we stayed with Mandy in Deritter, LA and Perry in Jackson, LA.  These amazing people took us into their homes and did everything they could to be helpful and make us feel at home.  We were able to take a day off in New Orleans which was awesome.  My friend Chris and his friend Bobby came down from from Jackson Miss and we all got a chance to hang.   It was great to see Chris again after almost a decade of not seeing him.  Hopefully I’ll make it to Mississippi at some point 

The final stretch would have us riding through Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and Florida.   During this time we met even more incredible hosts.   Kellie/Mason in Bay Saint Louis and Dave/Stacy in Bagdad, Fl were both incredibly kind and generous.  Thank you for everything.  The ride took us through places like Dalphin Island, Alabama.  I never knew there were islands in Alabama . They are absolutely gorgeous.  

We stayed in a couple more awesome state parks in this stretch.   In Bainbridge Georgia we stayed in the east bank campground operated by the army core of engineers.  They gave us a site right by the water and it was a pretty magical experience.  The final section of the tour featured a massive uptick in the number of bugs in these parks.   I found that during camping were almost always under attack from mosquitoes or being visited by either argentine ants, caterpillars , or bees.  Bug spray can help but sometimes you just have to cover every single bit of skin on your body. 

During the final day push to the ocean Tone and I split up.  The original route that we were using had us going through Jacksonville to Saint Augustine Florida. He wanted to stick to the route while  I made a decision to go directly to Jacksonville which was more direct to the Atlantic Ocean.  For me the final day was filled with a range of emotions and thoughts.  Admittedly even 10 years later I still have some anxiety of my past medical condition.  As i’m riding i’m feeling a huge sense of accomplishment and simultaneous release of anxiety/stress. To be able to survive a full coast to coast tour of the United States on a bike is the kind of proof that the only limitations are the ones I place on myself.  I think about my life with Riana over the past 10 years and how fortunate we’ve been to be able to experience living in larger cities, traveling abroad, and getting to start our own business.  

I think about how grateful I am to Tony for doing this tour with me.  I’ve known him for 15 years and he’s always pushed me to do things outside my comfort zone.  From helping me get first passport stamp, to hosting great events, to now riding through the US on a bike.  Particularly on this tour he went above and beyond.  He help me with mechanical issues which i’m not particularly good at, he lead our route navigation almost every day, he found places for us to stay, and helped lead us through all kinds of unique day to day challenges.  

My tour came to a strange end.  I was on my way to stay at my friends Stephanie’s house in jacksonville when I stopped at a convenience store.  When I came out my bike and all of my gear was stolen.  This included my passport, clothes, tent, sleeping bag, paneers, bike tools, food, journal, and more.  I tried my best to look through the neighborhood and called the police but no luck in recovering any of it.  As unfortunate as this situation is, I'm grateful it happened on the final day of the tour just a couple of miles from my friends house.  I won’t let that person take away my memories and diminish the experience.   They are worth infinitely more than the material value of the bike and my belongings.  

As i’ve had a couple of days to relax before going back to work  i’ve been reflecting on the experience more.  I absolutely would recommend doing something like this to anyone I know for a few reasons.   It’s a great way to decompress.  You have time to actively think and it helps your focus significantly.  The riding is tough but manageable.  I only rode my bike on a couple training rides beforehand.  I was also asked a ton of questions from people about my experience. So I wanted to answer them one by one below.  

What did you eat?  

Being a vegan on a bike tour has its challenges.  I ate a lot of clif bars, peanut butter banana burritos, trail mix, , Fritos chips, subway Veggie Delights without cheese and Impossible burgers from Burger Kings.   Honestly a lot of days on tour it was challenging to find vegan friendly dishes.  Thankfully our hosts made some really nice home cooked vegan meals and every large city we visited had great vegan options.  

Where did you sleep?  

It was a mix of hotels, backyards , rv parks, state parks, town parks , and then random wild camping.   On nights where it was too cold to camp we opted for hotel most of the time.  

What gear did you have?    This was my packing list before the bike was stolen. 

Tools Bag

Park tool Allen key Hand pump Kevlar spoke Back up derailleur  Baby wipes Chain scrubber Degreaser Spare tube x2 3 tire lever adjustable wrench Poncho Hand warmer Head lamp

Food Bag Varies but generally 3 portable camp meals  Clif bars 

Back paneer 1

Extra water plastic jug - Nalgene Sleeping bag (40 degrees) Sleeping bag liner. (10-15 degree etc) Micro fiber Towel Waterproof socks Large winter gloves Small gloves Zip ties

Back paneer 2 Short tech shirts (red and green) Socks (long wool, short cotton Medium wool Blue t shirt

-Toiletries bag

Deodorant dr Bonner liquid and bar soap, bug spray toothbrush toothpaste back up Masks Hand sanitizer

Electronics bag Solar charger Headphone and charger Cell charger Extra water container - 3 liter emergency

Duffle Sleeping pad Wind pants Under armour Long sleeve shirts (grey , black , blue yellow winter Jacket

What was the hardest part?    I suspect every single rider will have a different answer to this .  For me there were two things that probably equally as challenging.  First and foremost there are large portions where people are not wearing masks.  It was very demoralizing to be in situations constantly where people have made a conscious decision to disregard the health of others.  Since the services were so spread out I found myself having to get food from places that have anti mask propaganda on their front door.  

Secondly this tour really taught me that I am more comfortable in cities and around people.  It was charming to spend  days riding our bikes through  farm country in remote roads but eventually it began to wear on me and I found myself crave cities.  Also in cities the percentage of people wearing masks shot up significantly.  

What was your favorite small town?  

I really enjoyed Silver City New Mexico.   It was a quirky mountain with good architecture and really nice people.  There was also a very helpful bike shop, great co-op,  nice motel, and the town was filled with cool art.    

What was the weather like?  

For the most part we had good weather.   I would say were typically 50-60’s during the day on the first half but colder at night.   We were able to avoid some of the extreme weather that hit Texas but still found ourselves that was a little too cold to camp in.    Most of the biggest issue that would we would face would be consistent headwinds.  After a first week full of tailwinds the rest of the tour would almost always deal us 10-25 mph headwinds.   

How many issues did you have with your bike?  

There are always some day to day issues but the most common were flat tires ( I think i had 5 throughout the trip), My front derailleur was a consistent issue.   The fenders on the bike were kind of a pain.   However for an old 80’s bike with an older drive train it held up pretty well.   I would recommend to anyone thinking about touring to consider customizing their bike to their own needs as opposed to buying a brand new touring bike.   There will always be maintenance.    

 How did your body hold up?   

For the most part I wasn’t in a lot of pain on this tour.   Everyone’s body is different.  I found that if I got a majority of my miles during the morning I would do much better.   However on days where we were riding until close to sun down i found myself in a lot of pain near the end of the day.   Most commonly knees, butt, lower back, quads.   Occasionally my hands would be numb on long riding days.   

How long did it take?  

45 days coast to coast.   During that period we took 3 full days off and had a number of short days (30-40 miles).    I’m told that this was a very quick trip as many folks take between 60-70 days to complete this route.  

What would you recommend to someone doing this?  

There are a million things but i’ll try to summarize here.  

If you’re touring with other people try to have honest conversations in advance about things like how many miles you want to shoot for a day.   How early in the morning do you want to start pedaling.   Where you are you comfortable staying.  What kind of timeline you’re under with work?    What food you’re comfortable sharing.   If you’re comfortable deviating off the route to save miles/time.       Ultimately the more you and your riding partners discuss this in advance the less confusion you’ll have day to day.  

With your work I would communicate to co-workers honestly how involved you want to be while away.   Some have traditional jobs that allow them to totally leave work and decompress.  In my case as an entrepreneur I found myself involved on almost daily basis with work.   For me that was comfortable but for others it might take away from their experience.   

I would also make sure that you have a good instinct for eating food even when you’re not hungry.  I had to learn this throughout the tour as my food options were limited with a vegan diet.  

I would recommend that you try to do some level of training in advance.  On my first bike tour I did almost no training and I was in pain almost right away.  On this one I did some cross training and some scheduled rides.  It made all of the difference in the world as far as my day pain levels.   

Would you do it again? 

I don’t personally know if I would do a tour of this length again.   While I enjoyed the experience and the bucket list aspect of it I found myself going through the motions on a lot of days.    I think I would enjoy much more doing a tour of a 7-14 days.   Possibly if I’m ever retired I may feel differently but the looming pressure of my career was a bit hard to get through mentally.   

[ebaeschnbliah]

PAIRS … TWINS … DOUBLE OHs

________________________________________________________________

Twins? … It’s never twins! … But there's always two of us! Two of us against the rest of the world!

There is something about the number 2 in Sherlock BBC, which is impossible not to see after the course of thirteen episodes. And a lot has already been written about it by various people. ‘Two’ and several names which are also meant to express a number of ‘two’ - like double, couple, pair, twins - turn up time and again throughout the whole story.

A summary and some musings on the topic below the cut ...

The two beginnings

First of all, Sherlock BBC is a story with two starting episodes, which in itself isn’t unusual. And yet, if one takes a closer look, there are some things - just minor details - that seem to be a little bit strange after all. The two points of beginning are:

THE UNAIRED PILOT - a 60 min episode called ‘A study in pink’  

A STUDY IN PINK - the 90 min official first episode of S1

An extension of 30 min naturally leads to differences, as does a change in directing. The unaired PILOT was directed by Mary Rose Helen Giedroyc, Lady Bowyer-Smyth, known as Coky Giedroyc. The BBC decided not to broadcast the episode because they wished to change the length to 90 minutes. The PILOT was released on the DVD of the first series, and it proved to be slightly different from the final 90 min version, directed by Paul McGuigan.

However … there are certain changes between PILOT and ASIP which seem … odd. Most of all though, some seem quite unnecessary. 

Angelo went to prison for car-jacking in PILOT ... for house-breaking in ASIP.

Sherlock can identify (by looking at the hands) a retired plumber in PILOT … an airline pilot in ASIP.  (plumber/water, pilot/air … an interesting change)

Northumberland Terrace in PILOT changes into Northumberland Street in ASIP.

The barking dog can be first heard at the end of PILOT and at the beginning of ASIP.

Sherlock and John meet at 221b for the first time on January 14th in PILOT … on January 29th in ASIP (according to John’s blog). The victim prior to the lady in pink dies on January 27th (stated on screen).

The visual appearance changes from natural, vivid colours in PILOT ... to pale and cold colours in ASIP. Especially Sherlock looks like a marble statue in some scenes.

The attraction between Sherlock and John is a much stronger one in PILOT than in ASIP. The PILOT episode isn’t called ‘gay pilot’ for nothing. 

Virtually all the scenes from PILOT which have been taken over to ASIP are shot mirrored. The brilliant video Mirror Mirror Mirror by @kateis-cakeis shows this in detail. 

If anyone is interested, @callie-ariane  did a wonderful script comparison of PILOT and ASIP, side by side, on a download PDF here. This comparison reveals that the biggest parts that have been changed for ASIP are: 

the addition of a fifth victim

a short description of the victims

the visual introduction of Mycroft

the (very early) intoduction of Jim Moriarty compared to canon

the transfer of the showdown between Sherlock and Jeff Hope, from the Baker Street 221b living room to the Roland-Kerr Further Education College 

All of these are understandable decisions. Even the different visual appearance can be easily explained by the work of another director …. though regarding Sherlock BBC, an amendment like this would largely depend on the creators themselves, I guess.

What’s really odd though are all those little, seemingly unnecessary changes listed above. What makes the difference between car-jacking and house-breaking … between terrace and street … between plumber and pilot … between January 14th and 29th? And the mirrored shooting of almost all the reused scenes. Doesn’t this need a rewriting of all the shooting scripts in question? This seems to be a load of unnecessary extra work for an extension of 30 min ..  Anyway, be it coincidence or purpose, there are a lot more ‘2s’ interwoven in this story.

Playing with contrasts happens regularly … red&blue, fire&water, burning&drowning, high above&deep down, no-one&anyone, big&small, consulting criminal&consulting detective ...

Playing with the meaning and double meaning of names and words is also quite common in Sherlock BBC … John/Hamish, sister/nun, brother/monk, beech/beach, rooster/cock, cock/penis, game/game, Underground/underground  ...

A choice between two possibilities happens several times …. good bottle or bad bottle, saint or sinner, James or John, forwards or backwards ...

Two twin-houses

Roland-Kerr Further Education College is the place where Jeff Hope takes Sherlock for his ‘good bottle-bad bottle’ game near the end of ASIP. The Cardiff Univerity main-building had been used as film-set and for this scene the building was altered and mirrored to give the appearance of two identical buildings.  (Cardiff University (x) (x) (x)

Twenty-three and twenty-four Leinster Gardens ... the empty houses ... appear in HLV. They are Sherlock’s property and Mary’s face is projected on them when Sherlock compaires her to a facade. Originally, there was only one ‘empty house’ in canon, situated opposite 221b Baker Street. Strangely, the place from which John shoots Hope in PILOT would conform to the empty house from canon.   (Empty houses  The impossible house) 

Two high security facilities … with several levels below ground, are visited by Sherlock

Baskerville, the military compound where the fear inducing HOUND aerosol is created. Skulls and crossed bones are displayed on the danger signs. 

Sherrinford, the special prison where Eurus, the sister turned into a ghost story, is locked up behind elephant glass. Two ‘pirates’ enter the island. 

Two landladies rent a flat to a male couple

Mrs Hudson rents a flat to Sherlock and John and asks them if they will be needing two bedrooms.

Mrs Turner, next door, rents a flat to a married couple. Mrs Turner appears in ACDs story ‘Scandal in Bohemia’ as landlady of Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson.

Two skulls reside in the 221b livingroom. The inflexible bone skull on the mantlepiece next to the statue of the ancient Chinese bowman and the changeable blue skull painting on the wall behind the sofa next to the equally changeable yellow smiley. 

Two palaces with partly similar looking interior …. Buckingham Palace and Sherlock’s mind palace  (x)

The secret code in TBB is written in ancient cyphers which always come in pairs. The numbers are references to specific pages of a book and to specific words on those pages. 

Two neat plans and two rehearsals

The flight of the dead - code 007 Bond Air from ASIB & the similar project of the plane crash in Dusseldorf prior.

The attempted murder of Major Sholto - room number 207 from TSOT & the rehearsal of it involving Private Bainbridge prior.

Two '00′ (double oh) can be heard related to the ‘neat’ plans  (x)

In ASIB the number ‘double oh seven’ uttered by Mycroft, refers to the plane he intends to use for the ‘flight of the dead’. 

In TSOT the number on Sholto’s door reads 207 - ‘two oh seven' - Mary calls it.  

Doppelganger bodies appear conveniently and seemingly out of nowhere to cover up the fake deaths of Sherlock, Irene and Emelia.

Janus Cars … is the car hire company; assiciated with Jim Moriarty, who helpes clients to fake their death. In ancient Rome Janus was the god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, and endings. He usually is depicted with two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past. 

And there is also the not very subtle sexual double meaning hiding in plain sight behind the name of this car hire company ... J-anus C-ars … which basically are two different names for roughly the same area. :)

Two explosions hit 221 Baker Street. The first one, in TGG, comes from the outside. The second one, in TFP, comes from the inside.

Two countdowns from 10 to 1 happen ere someone is in danger to die. 

The first one happens in TGG related to the fake Vermeer painting and the kidnapped child who wears a vest full of explosives. It’s he fourth cold case Sherlock has to solve. 

The second one happens in TFP when Sherlock aims a gun at himself. It’s the fourth task Eurus has set up for him in Sherrinford in which he should choose between Mycroft and John.

Two ‘falls’ from great heigth come to pass in two episodes:

In TRF Sherlock throws himself down from Bart’s roof - to save his friends - after Jim Moriarty shot himself in the head.

In TAB Sherlock throws himself down a waterfall - without being forced - and follows Jim Moriarty into the abyss, flying and smiling.

Two reddish balloons represent ‘quite the guy’ John Watson in two episodes - TEH and TST.

Two roosters/cocks appear in two episodes which also contain two serial killers with certain similarities. In ASIP the cock is linked to John Watson. In TLD the cock is linked to Culverton Smith. (x)

Felines and canines appear in two different versions. One is harmless, like cats and dogs. One is dangerous, like lion and monster hound. (x)

Two pet animals of two children are taken away by a family member. Sherlock misses his dog Redbeard. Kirsty misses her rabbit Bluebell. (x)

Redbeard and Yellowbeard are the names little Victor and little Sherlock invented for themselves when they played pirates. 

Two occurrences define Sherlock’s personality - Carl Powers and Victor Trevor: 

‘It’s where I began’ … that’s how Sherlock describes the Carl Powers case about a drowned boy and his missing shoes.

‘Every choice you ever made; every path you’ve ever taken – the man you are today ... is your memory of Eurus’ … that’s how Mycroft descirbes the Eurus case about a drowned boy and a missing dog.

Two serial killers appear, who deem themselves nice. They like to talk to their victims and have quite noticeable teeth. Jefferson Hope in ASIP & Culverton Smith in TLD.

Two stillborn children play a role …. Rachel Wilson, her first name turns out to be the password of the pink ladies pink phone and Mary Morstan, whose identity was stolen by the woman who later becomes John’ s wife.

AMO & AMMO ... two almost identical words for love and explosives

Codename ‘AMO’ … is used by two different characters. Legally by Lady Smallwood & illegally by Vivian Norbury. 

Two times Rosamund Mary …. the same name for mother and daughter

Two times Charles

Carl Powers, from TGG, is the boy who had a fit in the water and drowned. 

Charlie Welsborough, from TST, is the boy who had a fit in a car and burned.

Two times Faith … Culverton Smith’s daughter, mirror for John, is envisiond by Sherlock as two different persons. (x)

Two variations of the name James … Jim (short for James) Moriarty & John Hamish (Scotish for James) Watson.

Musgrave and Trevor …  Reginald Musgrave and Victor Trevor are original characters who appear in two canon stories (Musgrave Ritual & Gloria Scott) which are the only ones linked to Sherlock’s time at university. TFP combines those stories and connects them to a trauma Sherlock might have experienced in his childhood.. 

Two problematic sisters

John and Sherlock, each ot the two men has a ‘problematic’ sister. John’s sister Harry is an alcoholic and Sherlock’s sister Eurus is locked up since childhood in a high security facility because she is a dangerous genius. 

Eurus is revealed on screen only by the end of the (for now) penultimate episode. Harry has still no visual appearance at all.

There is hardly any contact between the siblings during the majority of the story. They ‘don’t get on’ with each other or are completely forgotten at all. 

Harry is listed as potential pressure point for John by Magnussen, while Eurus is a potential pressure point for Sherlock, used by Mycroft. 

Both sisters are called by male names

Both sisters are mistaken for brothers by Sherlock as well as John, when they are first mentioned in their presence.

These are enough similarities between those mysterious sisters to  call it quite strange, I think. Mycroft’s advice for Sherlock comes to mind: 

SHERLOCK: For one person to be in both groups ... could be a coincidence. MYCROFT: Oh, Sherlock. What do we say about coincidence? SHERLOCK: The universe is rarely so lazy.

As much as Harry and Eurus seem to have in common, there’s one big difference. While Eurus lives her lonely life mostly behind elephant glass, Harry had been married with Clara for some time. But three months before John and Sherlock meet, the women split up and got a divorce. 

A Catherine hiding in plain sight

As @shylockgnomes​ pointed out in her post about the 'High incidence of Katherines’ in Sherlock BBC, the name Clara basically has the same meaning as Catherine … bright, clear, clean, pure. Clara seems to be a Catherine hiding in plain sight, one might say. 

Catherine is of Greek origin and became later, in the early Christian era, associated with the Greek ‘katharos’ … meaning ‘pure’. Earlier derivations list as possible roots for Catherine the name of the goddess Hekate and the Greek name Hekaterine ... meaning ‘each of the two’. 

And this is the point where especially one possible meaning behind the name Catherine ... ‘each of the two’ … becomes highly interesting for a story packed full of pairs, couples, double ohs and twins. 

Each of the two - what might this mean?

Does it refer to two autonomous characters like Sherlock and John or does it refer to two different versions of one and the same character. What if we are dealing with two John’s in this story (alongside with two Sherlock’s)? Two of a kind for each of the two ... but not twins. 

John Watson seems to be the character everything else circles around inside Sherlock’s mind palace. But there is a great difference between the John Watson of the PILOT and the one in ASIP. While PILOT-John seems to have not much problems to show his romantic interrest in Sherlock, the same character is much more restrained in ASIP. This attitude grows constantly over the course of the story, until it reaches an absolute low point in TLD. John claims again and again, in almost each episode, that he’s not gay. He downgrades Sherlock’s introduction of him from ‘friend’ to ‘colleague’. He tries to teach Sherlock the appropriate interaction with other people and the correct social behaviour … even when it is quite clear that Sherlock doesn’t like it. He jokes about some of Sherlock’s special characteristics with mutual friends and even tells him to ‘be not himself’ and demands that Sherlock should ‘hold himself to a higher standard’ because of the people who read the stories. And alongside those repeated verbal rebukes there’s also a constant increase of physical violence. 

For more than a century the friendship and love between Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson is known to be among the most famous in literature. It hardly ever happens that the one appears without the other. Not one of the many adaptations I ever watched, depicts the ‘good doctor’ as someone who behaves like John Watson in Sherlock BBC. This John Watson becomes more and more out of character as the story runs along. Sometimes it’s almost as if this man isn’t THE John Watson at all. 

‘When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains must be the truth’ … that’s a main principle of Sherlock Holmes. If this John Watson is so very much OOC, perhaps this is so, because he isn’t THE John Watson? 

Viewing all the characters on Sherlock’s mind stage as aspects, as certain opinions he has on various matters, and not as autonomous real-life people, it could be entirely possible that Sherlock tries to analyze his attitude towards a romantic/sexual relationship by creating different ‘editions’ of John Watson. The special attempt of a genius brain to fathom out his own feelings, desires and fears. If so, are there any indications in this story that more than one John Watson is present? 

Two times John?

As mentioned in this post, there exists a scene in PILOT in which John appears twice in one single shot. It happens during the taxi ride to the crime scene of the pink lady, when Sherlock explains his first deductions about John to John. In one of the flashbacks John can be seen entering the lab while he is already inside, offering Sherlock his phone. 

Recently I discovered that a similar shot exists in ASIP as well. It’s also in one of the flashbacks during the taxi ride to the crime scene of the pink lady, when Sherlock explains his first deductions about John to John. ‘Wounded in action, suntan – Afghanistan or Iraq’ … that’s the exact point when it happens. This time though the appearance of the ‘second John’ is rather colourful. One might even say … rainbowy. :)

Hope and Faith

The Lying Detecive is the (for now) penultimate episode of the story and very closely connected to A Study in Pink. Each of the two episodes is about a serial killer who deems himself 'verging on nice’, loves to talk to his victims and displays quite noticeable teeth. 

Jeff Hope from ASIP has two bottles to offer, good pills and bad pills full of ‘chemistry’, from which Sherlock is expected to choose one.  

Culverton Smith from TLD has a daughter called Faith. With her bad leg and the cane, she’s very obviously a mirror for John. The included flashback to John limping away from the pink lady’s crime scene and also the scene in which Faith’s gun gets thrown into the Thames (like John’s in PILOT), underpins the mirroring even more. Faith is displayed as two similar looking but entirely different persons. 

As it turns out later, one of the two Faith’s is actually Eurus, Sherlock’s 'other one’, his sister who gets mistaken for a brother (like John’s sister Harry). Eurus represents Sherlock’s emotional side … especially with regards to his feelings for John … hence Faith’s display as John’s mirror with cane and limp.

TBB and the theory of two John’s

The Blind Banker has proven again and again that this episode is the user manual for Sherlock BBC. If there are indeed two different John’s - respectively Sherlock’s - put into this story, TBB should confirm this theory. Are there two John’s/Sherlock’s included in TBB? Yes, surprisinly, there are. 

In this episode John as well as Sherlock are presented as double mirrors. Due to several random and minor incidents, General Shan mistakes John for Sherlock. 

Debit card, name of S. Holmes.

A cheque for five thousand pounds made out in the name of Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

Tickets from the theatre, collected by you, name of Holmes.

We heard it from your own mouth. “I am Sherlock Holmes and I always work alone …”

And so, in General Shan’s view, John becomes Sherlock and Sarah - the ‘pretty doctor companion’ - turns into John. Basically, in every scene in which those three characters interact with each other, there are indeed two John’s and two Sherlock’s present ‘on stage’. It seems the theory that both main characters are represented in two slightly different versions is not that farfetched after all.

That’s not the John Watson I know 

There’s this short dialogue from ASIP, the first official episode of Sherlock BBC, (it doesn’t show up in PILOT) ... could it be another piece of evidence that there’s more than one John Watson in this story. Is this a classical case of ‘we told you, but did you listen’?

Two Johns? Two differnt aspects represented by the same character? One positive, one negative? Like Jeff Hope’s good and bad bottles? And also two Sherlock’s?

The concept of an inflexible, unchangeable relationship between ‘eternal’ just-friends, the same as it has been for over a century. A version that will slowly kill Sherlock internally until he ends in the solitude of the Sussex Downs all alone with his bees? Again ...

And the other concept …  a finally changed 'new’ friend, a different John, who falls in love with Sherlock Holmes at first sight and never leaves him again? And a Sherlock Holmes who gives in to the softer emotions and his neglected ‘transport’. A man who finally drops his facade to accept love, romance and sex in his life?

The detective and his doctor who, at long last, leave their crime scene and have dinner with each other (fulfill their desire) at a lovely Chinese (emotional) restaurant. :)))

More about pairs:  Things coming in pairs   Couples & Pairs   Double oh 7 - Bond Air is go

I leave you to your own deductions. Thanks @callie-ariane​ for the scripts. 

December, 2019

[weflyfishing]

The Sage Fly Fishing Vest

The Sage Fly Fishing vest is a product that any avid fly fisher should be proud to own. If you’ve never used a flyfishing vest before, it is essential to consider that these items can give you a massive advantage out on the water. The Sage Fly Fishing Vest is perhaps one of the most versatile products in this category. It offers lightweight and sturdy construction, and it comes with an adjustable fit that can suit almost anyone.

 The company:

 Sage is a well-established manufacturer, and this is part of the reason why The Sage Fly Fishing Vest is built with such quality in mind. Based out of Bainbridge Island WA, Sage Fly Fishing started 35 years ago when an Olympian and a renowned flyfishing rod designer came together to create some of the most innovative flyfishing materials. Sage Fly Fishing has since become some of the best-known flyfishing products for their longevity. With over 175 employees found across the United States, Sage continues to revolutionize performance angling.

 The Fly Fishing Vest: https://www.maxcatchfishing.com/Maxcatch_Vests_.html

 The vest materials

 The Sage Fly Fishing Vest in its latest format was launched in the year 2016 with a revolutionary new fabric mesh system. The goal of this fabric mesh was to make sure that anyone out on the water could remain cool with an ultralight flyfishing vest. Even though the mesh is one of the primary materials of this vest, it’s still one of the most durable on the market.

 What is even more surprising is a large number of the mesh items across the vast are produced using recycled commercial fishing nets. The recycled netting adds to the strength of the vest while making sure that it’s extremely environmentally friendly to produce.

 The backing area of The Sage Fly Fishing Vest is designed using an entirely mesh construction so that while you’re out on the water, you can make sure that you can better regulate your temperature. The side pockets and the padded shoulder straps also improve comfort and offer highly durable materials.

 The padded shoulder straps come with foam that can be easily replaced by the website. A molded fly bench also is available alongside the vest from the company to improve your comfort out on the water.

 The storage:

 The vest has incredible storage spaces with the two main pockets on the side, ten additional zippered front pockets, and four inside pockets. The four interior pockets are perfect for carrying some of your personal items, whereas the outside pockets can carry full-sized fly boxes. The ten smaller pockets are the ideal way that you can bring along tools as well as separate some of the other items that you might need out on the water.

 The easy access sizeable back pouch is one of the best ways that you can carry personal items and some larger items for your fishing along. This aspect of the vest works more like a backpack, but it keeps any of the things that you place inside this pouch tight to your body for easy casting.

 The specialty tippet dispenser pocket makes for an easier time with tying your rigs and getting ready to cast. The dispenser pocket can free up your hands and make the process of getting your line ready, much more comfortable.

 The features:

 With the cool mesh design, recycled fabric materials, replaceable padding in the shoulder straps and incredible access to pockets, this is a vest that does not shy away from features. With its durable design and the many features on board, you can have a flexible loadout that can keep you comfortable fishing in a number of different conditions.

 If you have never used a flyfishing vest or thought of getting one, here are some of the significant advantages that you can receive by choosing to wear a flyfishing vest during your next fishing trip:

 The Comfort:

 Most of the weight for a flyfishing vest is spread across your shoulders. Chest pack designs or mobile tackle boxes often lead to all of the weight being carried around your neck. A vest usually allows you to fish longer and have more balance when you are casting. The Sage Fly Fishing Vest delivers such a lightweight frame so that you can keep your balance even more easily.

 Storage:

 A good-quality vest like The Sage Fly Fishing Vest will make sure that you don’t have to go through a messy tackle box or run back to sure every few minutes to get the supplies that you need. You can enjoy having pockets for everything from spare line to pliers, to new flies and more.

 It is fashionable:

 Having a flyfishing vest can be a very stylish choice of the colors that have been chosen with The Sage Fly Fishing Vest are definitely of a neutral tone. These have been a prominent choice amongst anglers for many generations, and they offer a classic fashion look for any fisher.

 Less inhibited:

 A heavy bag will often inhibit your movement, and it can lead to problems with casts. A misplaced cast could lead to a broken rod tip or a dangerous snag. With The Sage Fly Fishing Vest, the pockets remain compact, and you can distribute your weight evenly so that you have more control over your flyfishing experience.

 Conclusion:

 If you are curious about picking up a flyfishing vest as a gift or for improving your own flyfishing experience, the Sage Fly Fishing Vest remains an excellent product that you can use for keeping organized with your fly fishing. The product is exceptionally durable, cool and lightweight, and it has a surprising amount of storage. Intuitive features like the Tippit dispensing pocket, roomy backpack, replaceable from seat and shoulders improve the longevity of this product too.

 Although this is not the least expensive flyfishing vest on the market, it is a product that has been designed to last. If you are seeking tools that will be some of the best in the business for your fly fishing, this is a vest that can take you on many comfortable trips for flyfishing.

[theheartoftv]

San Francisco-based professional photographer Sophie (Merritt Patterson) faces Christmas alone when her photographer boyfriend Brent (Toby Levins) accepts an assignment in Asia. In Seattle’s Bainbridge Island, Ascension Invention CEO David Murphy (Jon Cor) is looking for a nanny to care for his nine-year old nephew Troy (Luke Roessler) for two weeks while Troy’s regular nanny is away. Their elderly next-door neighbor, Louise Griffith (Paula Shaw) would be a perfect substitute except that she has injured her foot. When Sophie learns about her Grandma Louise’s foot, she flies north to be with her for Christmas. After mistaking Sophie for a prospective nanny, David accepts her offer to watch Troy for the afternoon, which goes so well Sophie offers for she and her grandma to be co-nannies for the next two weeks, much to David’s relief. Sophie takes Troy to audition for a part in the Christmas Pageant, where a bit of stage fright gets the better of the boy and he is cast as the fifth reindeer, Comet. David joins Sophie, Louise and Troy on a trip to the toy store, and Troy invites Sophie to go with him and his uncle to get their tree the next day. David and Sophie joke about the fact that Louise and Troy seem to be playing matchmaker, laughingly ticking off reasons why they would never work, like distance, her boyfriend, etc. David and Sophie are constantly stealing glances at one another and enjoy the day together, including the snowball fight David instigates. She notices how relaxed he is, something his business does not always allow for. Sophie admits her fast-paced career might be preventing her from living her best possible personal life. David’s former girlfriend Jodi (Anita Brown) surprises him at the tree farm and he agrees to get together to catch up. In a surprise visit, Brent shows up and it is soon apparent to Sophie that she and Brent are never going to work so she bids him a final farewell. Sophie and Troy are bonding, and she thinks about how much she will miss him when she goes back to San Francisco. She even toys with the idea of staying in Bainbridge and simply traveling for work, like her January trip to Switzerland will require. At lunch, Jodi reveals to David that she is engaged and very happy, and even suggests that he has eyes for Sophie. While ice skating, David tells Sophie that Jodi is engaged, and she tells David that she and Brent are history. Inspired by Sophie’s generosity, David comes up with the new app he’s been struggling with for Ascension Invention. When Sophie gets a call that her Switzerland shoot has been moved up and she will need to miss the Christmas Pageant, she says yes and begins planning her exit. There is sadness all around as Sophie prepares to leave. Troy is heartbroken, as is David who was starting to think that perhaps Sophie was the one. As she is boarding her plane, Sophie thinks about the Christmas Pageant, and is forced with a decision that will either derail her career or lead her to follow her heart.

[caitsbooks]

Caitsbooks Reviews: Serious Moonlight (ARC) by Jenn Bennett

Thank you to to Ashley at StudyingIsMyRaisondetre for sending me the ARC!!! I’m eternally grateful!!! Quick Stats: Overall: 5/5 Stars Characters: 5/5 Setting: 5/5 Writing: 5/5 Plot and Themes: 4.5/5 Awesomeness Factor: 5/5 Review in a Nutshell: Serious Moonlight is an adorable, realistic, and fun book that is perfect with a slice of pie.

“Judging people unfairly doesn’t define them; it defines you. And in the end everyone will be disappointed”

Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews

// Content Warning: Mature Content, Depression, Suicide Mention, Self Harm Mention, Illness, Mental Illness // - Premise - Serious Moonlight follows Birdie, a mystery book lover who lives with her grandfather on Bainbridge Island. When she gets a new job at a hotel in Seattle, she runs into someone she thought (and hoped) she would never see again, but when he offers her a mystery to solve, she must decide if she should forget the past entirely, or build something from it. - Writing & Setting- I love Jenn Bennett’s writing. This is no secret, and this book is no exception. It’s funny, cute, romantic, steamy, and really relatable. Jenn Bennett is my current contemporary queen right now because of how easy it is to devour her books. Her setting is also amazing. While I’ve never been to Seattle, I feel like I have after reading Serious Moonlight. - Plot - This book is, at its heart, a coming of age and romance. While there is a mystery plot, it’s mostly sidelined for the character’s journey and I am 100% okay with that. I just didn’t care much about it. It was a little bit interesting, but the characters are what stole the show for me and made every scene so great. That said, the pace is still pretty fast and perfect for reading in one sitting. - Characters - The characters are the focal point of this story and they deserve it. Birdie is a great protagonist, with a lot of growth to do while still being painfully relatable at time. I also really loved the medical aspect of her story. Birdie struggles with being open about her illness and debating whether or not to seek a diagnosis, and I really enjoyed how it was handled. Plus, it’s a specific illness that’s not really talked about. Daniel also has his own things to work through. His backstory was really unexpected but hit home for me. I don’t want to give it away, but it’s something that's very close to me and I felt the way it was portrayed was really perfect. Also, I just really love Daniel. He’s a sunshine-y character but he has such great depth and personality. - Conclusion - Pros- Great characters, adorable romance, amazing job handling certain topics Cons- If you’re actually reading this for the mystery, you might want to rethink that Overall- 5/5 stars. Serious Moonlight is the perfect romance that will have you searching for mysteries in your life.

[the-mira-life-project-mtf]

STEP ONE IS DONE (My MtF HRT Journey)

     HOW IT ALL BEGAN...

     Back in November of 2017, I made the decision to begin HRT after researching my fate if I began hormone therapy. It was a frightening moment as I sat in my car in a Walmart parking lot in Port Orchard (far away from my family) listening to the pounding rain as I held the phone in my hand. I was scared, I did not what to expect. ‘Was I doing this because of a fad, or a runaway LGBT movement? Was I doing this because since I was a child, I was fascinated with gender transformation...dysphoric due to my non-matching appearance.’

     Just dial the number! Get it over with!

     I punched the numbers...all 10 of them...and hovered my index over send. I closed my eyes as I let the rain carry me away and with a tap, the number was dialed and the phone was ringing. There was no turning back now! I placed the phone to my ear and waited...my throat tighter then a Gatorade bottle-cap on a hot summer day. The line was answered and this was where my story began...almost...

     I called at the wrong time...Cedar River Clinics was not taking any more patients and the wait list was open in February...I would have to wait another 4 months. I wrestled with my fears as the days fell away and February came and the days came and gone. I wondered: ‘Could this be a sign that it was never meant to be?’ There was only one way to find out...but I could not find the courage to go through it all again.

     Hospitalization isolated me from the world and I spent many hours debating and going over the pros and cons. Devising psychology tests to see if my desires were based either on body dysphoria, gender dysphoria or sexual dysphoria...and it was all of the above. I made a gamble with myself that if I was discharged from the hospital...I would not call, if I was admitted for another day...then I would call. It was up to fate.

     With the word that I was going to be in the hospital for another five days...it was all the signs I needed. I dialed the number again and spoke with the receptionist on the other end as I was put on the books to be assessed...but not til May of 2018...another 4 months!

     MTF HRT AT CEDAR RIVERS~TACOMA...

     To say the least...it did not go well. I was so over prepared and the doctor (Dr. Marsh) was assessing me as an candidate for HRT...we did not get along!

     Dr. Herrington was the second to assess me and we got along quite well as I chose to take the long way. Everything oral at the lowest dose possible. At the time, I had chosen a Gender Nonconforming title that over time would morph into a Gender Fluid title as I became comfortable with my transforming body.

     For two months...nothing happened...well, except that my libido went first, which I was okay with. I was becoming discouraged as I continued to swallow my pills daily. Then, in June of 2018...my breasts began aching and hurting as I entered a budding stage. It was actually happening! I was changing!

     Over time, I played this back-and-forth game with my HRT, hospitalization would stop the therapy and I become depressed. I begin and have to deal with the pain of changing...it is surprising that I did not become clinically depressed!

     With another visit with Dr. Marsh (she seemed in a better mood this time), my therapy continued with the changing of estradiol patches to estradiol pills. This would be the last time I would see her as my care was shifted to an awesome doctor named Dr. Khattar. It was a welcome relief as I began opening up to him about my mental image of the anima I named ‘Mira’.

     By the time it was October of 2018, I desired a more drastic transformation, to appear almost female...as if I was now transgender. I despised my male appearance and wanted the female appearance I thought of since I was seven years old.

     By November, my health began to take a nose-dive and I was concerned that the therapy was affecting my CF and asthma. I spoke with Dr. Khattar about it, but he did not know of any medical reason to be concerned and dismissed the concern. Again, in January...I brought it up again...as I was popping in-and-out of hospitals like a gofer in the ground. By March of 2019...he became somewhat concerned about the rapid lung disease...but did not have the skills to assess the situation. I asked back in January if it would be appropriate to seek a doctor who specializes in transgender health and he said yes.

     Only problem...finding a PCP who specializes in Transgender Care is like Abraham seeking that one righteous soul in Sodom and Gomorrah...it is almost impossible.

     SEEKING A TRANSGENDER PCP CARE DOCTOR...

     I began searching the web for transgender ‘friendly’ doctors (as I was certain my own PCP isn’t transgender friendly...and I did not want to put our relationship in a bad place by asking) and found...nothing! Widening my search, I finally found a program that was tailored to transgender care...

     This was a godsend as this was what I needed to find...I also looked at the UW’s transgender program...but it was useless in my search for a local provider. And their web browser was...discombobulated. It would seem that only Virginia Mason was the only provider that offered medical services and I was thinking: ‘If I do consider ‘surgical’ modifications...this might be a good start’ as my only other option was:

      Oregon Health & Science University has a pretty comprehensive program like Virginia Mason; except that they also perform SRS surgery (which is still forbidden here in Washington); and if I wish to follow this path to correction, there services would be needed...only problem, OHSU is almost 400 miles away! So, it was Virginia Mason...Step One...

     As I began to research in the services and providers, I was enlightened, but confused: It seemed they offered facial plastic surgery (which was considered), primary care with a PCP, voice feminization, breast augmentation, orchiectomy and even laser hair removal (which I need for the face). There services were far beyond the reach of Cedar River and having their services would open further transformation.

     Now came the hardest part...finding a doctor. I have pretty good insurance, but medicare will only get you so far. Then, there is the possibility that they are out of network. Or they don’t take Medicare. The possibilities for error were endless. I narrowed my search to the closest clinic to me: Bainbridge Island Clinic. Yes, it was almost 1 hour away...it was better then going all the way to Seattle or Kirkland! So this narrowed the field of candidates down to two:

     So the first candidate was Dr. Tomberg. His ratings were good; 4.9 out of 5 with 262 patients rating. His background states that his specialties are in  Family Medicine, Primary Care, Pediatrics, Preventive Medicine and Transgender Health.

     The second candidate was Dr. Worth. Her ratings were also good; 4.9 out of 5 with 261 patients rating. Her background states that her specialties are in  Family Medicine, Primary Care, Pediatrics, Preventive Medicine and Transgender Health...just like Dr. Tomberg...they were almost identical!

     With all my research completed (and even using this path in my fictional story ‘SRS- A Realistic Transgender Transformation’) (https://mtfhrtnonconformadvocate.tumblr.com/post/181005815302/srs-a-realistic-transgender-transformation-part), I was greatly hesitant to seek further care as I always thought I could manage my HRT on my own. But with female traits coming in...I thought long term:

     SRS to finalize my transformation?

     What about mammograms?

     Hormone balancing?

     Trans-woman problems?

     The more I considered the possibilities, that more clear it became...I needed a transgender friendly doctor who could manage, maintain and further my care. The only problem...I had to call...

     MAKING THAT CALL...

     On March 23 2019; I finally made the decision to call Virginia Mason and see if I can be seen. I spent much of the morning telling myself I was going to call, even wrote a blog-post about calling...but I did not put the plan into action until 3:40pm. I sat in my room, here at my second home, debating my call and tired of the stress I was causing myself, I took my phone and was ready to call. I however stopped as I found an excuse not to call...I needed my insurance card. That was in my car and I thought it would be symbolic to call while in the same car...except, things changed!

     As I pulled out my insurance card and selected my phone, my adopted father, Mitch pulled into the driveway and parked. I was hoping to make this call alone, as I knew how Mitch felt about his gay son, and turned off my phone. Talking for a few minutes, I returned back to my room and sat on my bed and toiled over my phone. I took my tablet and computer and pulled up Virginia Mason’s web-page and swallowed my fear as I selected Dr. Worth’s number on my phone.

     If it was possible, I wanted to be seen by Dr. Worth. As a transgender male-to-female, I do not want another guy messing around with me...it just does not make me feel comfortable.Even my relationship with Dr. Khattar is stressed...just because he is a male...and I don’t feel right talking about sexuality, breasts, feminization with him. Would I be comfortable with a woman? Well, I was pretty open with Dr. Herrington and on the second round, even Dr. Marsh! It was like woman-to-woman speaking, if that makes sense. Would I share this same relationship with Dr. Worth...I do not know.

     With the phone ringing, I get an automated answering machine that gives me two options: Call to schedule or call to refer. Pressing the number 1, I am patched to the Bainbridge Island Clinic as I introduce myself. At the moment, I wonder: ‘Do I use my legal name or my transgender name?’ Considering billing and insurance purposes, I choose my legal name, knowing I can always add ‘Mira’ once the insurance is sorted out.

     As the words: Regarding Transgender Services slipped from my lips, I could not believe who easy they came out...no hesitation...I have certainly changed! The receptionist was very polite as she took my name, birthday, address and then asked...

     “Which gender do you go by?”

     “Ah...” I stammered as I thought of the label “...I prefer gender nonconforming...” which was wrong as I am closer to being gender fluid and even simply just transgender now. This seemed to be the key word as I gently guided the conversation.

     “Would you be okay seeing a PA or MD?”

     “MD would be preferable, but if seeing a PA means getting in sooner, that would work, just think seeing a MD would be sensible considering my condition.”

     “Would you prefer a male or female?”

     Well, I did not want to be sexist and say male, and I did not want to seem like an exhibitionist and say female...I stated clearly. “Female...I was hoping to be seen by Dr. Worth if possible...”

     “Ah...” there is a pause as she looks for a slot “...Doctor Worth isn’t seeing any new patients...”

     “I checked your website, my choices are between Dr. Tomberg and Dr. Worth, so my choices are kinda...limited, being transgender and seeking a transgender friendly physician.”

     That must have worked as she stated, “Well, she is accepting only new transgender patients...I need to give the Transgender Department a call, can I put on hold?” I agreed as there was still hope. If I took the PA, I would have landed an appointment on April 22nd, with the doctor, I expect no earlier then May, as most physicians only book 3 months in advance. “Sorry for the delay; so I passed on your information and they will be giving you a call on Monday to schedule an appointment, after Dr. Worth’s staff have a moment to review your request...”

     What does that even mean? I take the news as one step closer...Monday is only three days away! I agree to the terms and when I hang up, I can’t believe I did it. I called Virginia Mason, (in the book I went to Bainbridge in person) and might get to see Dr. Worth...we will see...

[undrtheivy]

( kaylee bryant + cis female + she/her ) / who’s that rustling through the trees? oh, it’s just you, LISA LIDDELL. i happen to know that you’re a TWENTY year old STUDENT. while you’re from PETALUMA, CALIFORNIA, you’re currently staying in CABIN SIX. i think that you’re POLITE & COMPLAISANT but my mama says you’re FEEBLE & BITTER. is that CHELSEA MORNING by JONI MITCHELL currently playing on your spotify? well, turn it down please, you’re disrupting the peace. ( admin velouria + 25 + she/her + est )

it’s velouria back with child number two. she’s a lot less terrible than my son but she’s got her moments lmao. a real heather mcnamara.

tw: murder, harm against children, ableism

born in bainbridge island, washington, on january 14th, 1999, as lainey novak. she had two older siblings and one younger brother. her parents, craig and justina, were high school sweethearts. they were just two dumb kids when they first got pregnant and shortly afterwards, they were married.

they lived off of craig’s minimum wage salary as they had another child only a year after the first, and then quickly after that, lainey arrived. the children were relatively calm and happy, but things were very strained between craig and justina, as the bills piled up and justina became frustrated with her life.

with their last child born and their older children becoming school-aged, justina got a part time job as a receptionist at a local newspaper office. over time, justina started to fall in love with a reporter there, fantasizing about a life with a strange man and no children. while she loved her kids, she began to resent them for ‘stealing her youth’ away, while craig was none the wiser.

after two years at the newspaper, justina had built up her fantasy so much that it began to bleed into real life and she started an affair with the reporter. however, he wasn’t interested in anything serious, especially not a woman with multiple children, and justina eventually decided she needed to get rid of her children to be with him. justina shot her four children, blaming the incident on a home intruder. the incident ended with all her siblings deceased, lainey the only one to survive.

lainey was sent to a foster home as her mother went to trial and was eventually sent to prison for life for the murder of three of her children. lainey was adopted a short time later by the liddells, renamed lisa for privacy, and moved down to california in petaluma.

lisa, only a small child when all of this occurred, adjusted well to life with the liddells. though she had vague memories of her family before and the incident, lisa became convinced those were just dreams. it wasn’t until her late adolescence that lisa realized it really happened. the liddells didn’t hide what happened from lisa, but they were careful about it, in case word got out and unwanted attention came to them.

lisa got along well with her adopted siblings and did well in school, though was a pathological people-pleaser. she easily got swept up into popular crowds and their bad habits, though she was the ‘nice one’ out of the popular crowd she hung around with.

lisa got into stanford, just a stone’s throw away from petaluma, where her older adopted sister jamila already attended. thinking she’d have a fresh start, as none of her high school friends were going to stanford, she quickly fell into old habits once she started to rush omega beta zeta.

there, she became part of the ‘popular crowd’ once again, though they were much worse than anything she encountered in high school. (think the heathers, lisa being the mcnamara.) while she was, once again, the ‘nice one’ of the group, she began to feel more pressured into doing things that she’d usually resist against, and lisa discovered she had a meaner side to her than she thought before.

in her sophomore year of college, lisa has grown tired of being part of the omega beta zetas and the fierce foursome, but she loves her best friends and truthfully, the attention she gets from being part of them is nice. still, lisa has become a bit more passive aggressive, and fights back in subtler ways. she doesn’t like herself when she’s around the foursome, but she doesn’t who she’d be without them, either.

lisa has come to crescent lake as part of her vacation with her best friends, though it quickly got bigger until even her adopted sister jamila has tagged along. she was expecting a quiet, relaxing vacation with her girls but really, who was she kidding? this was only an excuse to party... or is it? does someone else in the group have nefarious reasons for bringing them all to lake crescent camp grounds?

wanted connections.

a townie that’s caught lisa’s eye. usually lisa keeps to herself, rather shy, but this muse is just so alluring that lisa is finding herself drawn to them.

townie friends. lisa’s never been to crescent lake before but she’d likely meet them at a party and they’ve decided to bring lisa under their wing and show her around crescent lake while she’s here.

idk i’ll add more i’m tireddddd

[sayheykid]

please share details by force im so 👀 about this story already (i want to know more about the catcher, catchers are my favorite)

you made my day!! thank you I absolutely adore talking about this story, they're just funky little dudes

catchers are my favorites too! you're in luck because I actually have two catchers who play a big role in this story.

first is Tyler Hadley, he's from Hudson, Ohio and is the third of four kids (all sisters). He's pretty much always been a catcher, from the time he was a kid, and because of that, goes about catching in a really traditional way both mentally and physically. more instinctive as a catcher and can't always explain his gameplay or the choices he makes because it's so ingrained. he's tough as a catcher but very much has golden retriever energy off the field - he started out a little green and naive but is genuinely very smart and has also been adopted by several upperclassmen, particularly Charlie.

the other catcher is Harrison "Finn" Finley. Finn is the son of former MLB pitching legend Don Finley, and came into catching really differently than Tyler. Finn has a complicated relationship with his dad and spent most of his life trying to live up to his dad's expectations by pitching, before realizing his resentment towards his dad and switching to catching out of spite. he's more analytical rather than instinctive, and his experience as a pitcher makes him good at certain aspects like pitch sequencing. he mostly keeps to himself, but he's a good guy if you get to know him. he's from Bainbridge Island, WA, he's Jewish, and he rides a motorcycle:)

[tearlessrain]

olympia: ruled by unseelie fae but they all have depression so bad that they never cause any actual harm, just lend the entire town a distinctly unsettling aura

bainbridge island: inhabited, but not ruled, by seelie fae who are mildly peeved about the recent gentrification and therefore cause minor mischief to make their presence known

seattle: founded by lovecraftian old gods that now slumber, but are still very much present

portland: dionysus, loki, and a mime all got blackout drunk together and somehow portland was the result

[inaturalist]

A Melanistic Serval Cat in Kenya - Observation of the Week, 11/17/18

This melanistic Serval, seen in Kenya by srullman, is our Observation of the Week!

“I’d like to be a biologist because I like to study life. I like to cut off bark of trees with my pocketknife. I like to study plants and things. I like [to] study animals, especially raccoons, foxes, and all living things.”

That’s what Dr. Stan Rullman wrote while in second grade, when responding to the question What do you want to be when you grow up? While he denies debarking trees with his knife (and now wonders why a second grader was allowed to run around with a pocket knife), Stan does “recall prying off the bark of fallen trees to look for critters and see the intricate patterns of bark beetles underneath.”

Stan’s second grade essay proved prescient, as he earned a PhD in Urban Ecology and worked as a Wildlife/Conservation Biologist and Educator on Washington State’s Bainbridge Island before his current position as Research Director for Earthwatch Institute. “I help oversee our support of research projects in about 30 countries around the world, most of which have something to do with wildlife and conservation,” he explains. “I am very interested in human-wildlife conflict issues, which seem to be increasing as wild creatures find the space allotted them to be more and more restricted, and primary food resources shrinking, prompting their forays into the human realm.”

It was on a trip with students from the North Hollywood High School Zoo Magnet that Stan encountered the melanistic serval you see pictured here. Thanks to funding from Linda Duttenhaver, several students and zoo staff get to participate in an Earthwatch project each year, and in 2017 they traveled to Kenya and took part in a project “assessing the efficacy of various deterrents deployed to keep elephants out of the crops that local community members struggle to grow in the increasingly dry, arid conditions.”

While in the field, the group noticed hornbills and White-bellied Go-Away-Birds mobbing an animal. At first they figured it was a black dog, but it soon became clear that the animal was a felid, “though the black color was throwing all of us off.”

I was in the front of the bush vehicle with Dr. Bruce Schulte, the principal investigator for the elephant project, with a crew of the students standing up and observing the creature’s progress through the pop-top, open-air roof. We kept as quiet as we possibly could, with the only noise being the digital clicking from the cameras...Finally, when it was about 40 meters away, it stopped— suddenly aware of something blocking its progress down the road. Equally nervous and curious, it slunk off the road, skirting around our vehicle about 30-35 meters away through the grass and brush.    

If you’re familiar with servals, you’ll know why the group was at first taken aback by the black fur of this melanistic individual - the coats of most servals have a yellowish ground color spangled with black dots and stripes. A medium sized cat (they weigh 8-18 kg (18-40 lbs) and reach a height of about 54-62 cm (21-24 in) at the shoulder), the serval is a solitary predator that generally eats small prey such as rodents, birds, insects, and snakes. They’re known for their incredible leaping ability, which they can use to knock down larger birds.

Stan waited over a year to post this observation because he was concerned about bringing attention to such an uncommon individual cat, but after seeing an article about melanistic leopards he got in touch with the article’s author, Dr. Lucas Gonçalves, a Brazilian wildlife biologist. “I sent him some photos of the Tsavo serval, and he indicated 16 records of such creatures, primarily from the Mt. Kenya area (where they are fairly well known) as well as the Pare Mountains of northern Tanzania - just across the border from the Tsavo complex. That really sparked my interest in this topic, and eventually, wore down my concerns regarding ‘outing’ this fabulous cat.”

Stan (pictured above) has “been promoting iNaturalist as a bridge between observers and the highly participatory (and certainly not passive) nature of collecting and posting of their observations - making them available to the larger scientific community,” and is currently suggesting iNaturalist could be used “to engage our local residents in collecting observations of obligate vernal pool species (e.g. fairy shrimp, wood frogs/blue-spotted salamanders/spotted salamanders (eggs), etc.) that could then be provided to the Massachusetts Natural Heritage & Endangered Species Program” to help protect the vernal pools in and around his township. He sees data created by citizen scientists as a powerful way to engage with policymakers.

And Stan tells me that using iNaturalist “has rekindled my interest in what E.O. Wilson calls ‘the little things that run the world,’...

Though much of my professional career as a naturalist first and ecologist later has shifted my focus to birds and carnivores, I still find myself looking under logs and bark, especially if I’ve got my macro lens with me to document such observations on iNaturalist.

- by Tony Iwane.

- After an inspiring National Moth Week event, Stan has now started Project Porchlight on iNaturalist, check it out!

- Stan sent me to this interesting paper about citizen science and conservation decision-making.

- “The students from the zoo were absolutely amazing to work with,” says Stan. “Their passion for nature, their untarnished sense of wonder, and their interest in the research were inspiring. And several of the students were avid iNaturalists!” Here are rynaturalist‘s posts from the trip.