#it is all a bit sad and cynical. but at the same time it would be fun to see them so...!

[junk-culture]

limited edition keychain/t-shirt/mug/sweatshirt that says I PAID FOR NOEL GALLAGHER'S DIVORCE

[colleybri]

One of the greatest hugs in any film

Interview question: “Do you think Cassian and Jyn would have managed to connect even more due to their shared life experiences if they had even more time?”

Diego Luna: “Obviously! What a good question. I think that hug represents everything that could have been but was not and everything that was too, because that hug meant they were part of something together and I believe that union lasts forever”.

One of the single best story decisions that was made in Rogue One was this incredible hug between Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor, as they await death from the blast of the Death Star.

It’s sad enough just in the context of the film. After Season 1 of Andor, it’s even more moving. I think some of us will be emotional wrecks after Season 2. 

One thing I’m starting to realise only now is how Jyn’s story, as revealed in the film (and the novelisation), reflects Cassian’s so much. She was also a child of war, displaced and effectively orphaned, adopted before being forced to embark on a new life. She had it even worse than him, in many ways. But just like him she had an early zeal to fight, which she similarly went on to lose because of the bitter pain that commitment caused. She becomes disillusioned and cynical about the Rebellion. It takes a combination of hard knocks and a resulting realisation of the desperate NEED to fight the Empire - in order to preserve all that they hold dear - to radicalise both of them to the extent that they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause.

Cassian is already in that place - he reached it five years before. But in Season 2 I expect we will see further challenges, see the desperately awful things he might have to do and what else he will need to sacrifice ahead of his actual life. Sacrifices that wear down his soul, bit by bit. Luthen’s monologue hangs over everything. “ I burn my life for a sunrise I know I’ll never see.” It’s a bitter irony that Cassian is frequently placed in sun-rising imagery, culminating in the ‘sun’ of the explosion.

Jyn, in Rogue One, seems to be the spiritual shot in the arm that Cassian needs. In the same way that being inspired by his love for Clem, Maarva and Bix helps to spur him on in the Season 1 finale (when the chances of successfully rescuing Bix must seem non-existent)  Jyn seems to me to be the crucial reminder for Cassian of why he is doing all this in the first place. Her love for her father stops him from obeying the order to kill him. He just can’t do it. He can’t put someone he is growing to care about through the same agony he went through himself.

In the end, neither can live with themselves if they don’t fight. But both of them are fighting for the right reason: love.

The hug is platonic and therefore perfect because it’s universal, in a way: we can imagine - in their final seconds - that they can both see and feel the warmth and the arms of every single person in their lives who they ever loved in any form: parents, siblings, lovers, friends. And of course they also die feeling the arms of each other - bound together by their fight and sacrifice but also an embrace with someone they might have gone on to know, and to love, if the universe had been a kinder place. 

It’s one of the most perfect and beautiful death scenes in any film I’ve seen. 

But it’s also heart-crushingly sad. 

‘What could have been’. 

…..

Edit:

I think the earlier elevator scene is where they acknowledge the loss of what they could have had together. Cassian stares at Jyn with unblinking focus but he looks like he’s dying already from his injuries, and Jyn - not yet knowing for sure that she’s about to die too - looks completely devastated. By the time they reach the beach and see the blast approaching both of them look accepting of their fate… and I imagine that they can use their final moments to internally say their spiritual goodbyes to everyone they ever loved in their lives - and to each other. They are content to die together. They are at peace as they “become one with the Force”.

….

The sand is coarse on his fingers as he tightens the embrace and closes his eyes. Her face had been that of the last being he will see, and he is at peace with that. After all, she had already started to mend his broken soul and remind him of why he was doing all this in the first place. 

Love.

She is warm against him, her grip intensifying his physical pain, and intensifying whatever is going on now in his soul. They hug as if in the hope of keeping each other whole, the hope of somehow stopping the inevitable coming-apart. Almost as if to stop time and be forever in this state of in-between.

But there is no time at all. 

So he thinks he will imagine that the light is coming from her, her bright spirit - her hot molten core - soldering and melting them into one being. 

‘I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin.’

Extract above from  ‘Dawn Chorus’ chapter 5:

Diego Luna interview:

’ I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin’ - from the song ‘Vision’ by Peter Hammill.

[wind-up-thancred]

bit of thancred character musing under the cut that im gonna try to approximate from a 6am discord rambling into something i can actually post. both SHB and EW spoilers included

i saw some folks talking on twt about how guilt seems to be a very important factor in his life and i agree. i think a lot of major parts of his character and arcs have been due to guilt over something he did (or didnt even really do, re: the whole goobue rampage situation). it's driven him to work his ass off after louisoix which lead to him getting possessed... but its probably also what motivated him to do better for ryne after being forced to look his fuckups directly in the eye instead of just wallowing about them. but i think, at the same time, he doesnt really seem to, like... actually be proud of himself for a lot of the stuff he's done in order to work off that guilt? the biggest giveaway for that being the line in endwalker on the ragnarok where he talks about his "good deeds" cynically and seems to insist that they were never really that impactful in the first place. that they'll just go to dust when he dies.

in shb, during the ahm areng segment, not only does he talk down on himself in general, but also puts down his attempts to help OG minfilia back in the pre-ARR days... when i'm pretty sure she never even blamed him for the goobue rampage in the first place.

it's all a little bit sad to me, tbh. i've seen some people reason that, because he was only able to escape poverty due to louisoix seeing potential in his thieving skills, he's essentially internalized the idea that he's only really worth keeping around by ANYONE if he's actively being productive, either helping others or trying to fix whatever fuckups he feels he's made. i think that would explain a lot of this

note the "few positive traits" line, which to me comes across as "i was only picked up out of childhood poverty because he thought my skills were useful." though i don't really know how much of that mentality he's managed to work past by post endwalker. he IS able to go off on his own, and mentions that he trusts the scions to keep themselves safe now... but as i ranted about before, the short story points out that he's only really content to rest briefly before he feels obligated again to seek out unrest to try and help, specifically mentioning minfilia again. also, a couple times during the story, notably post ARR after his possession, mid SHB after he's wounded in a fight with sineaters, and post SHB after he passes out due to the weakening soul-body bond, he seems to dislike even having to rest for medical reasons

it's a pretty interesting part of his character to me. idk if the writers specifically had his rigorous upbringing in mind when they wrote these parts of his character, but to me it would make a lot of sense as an explanation for why he's so averse to rest and why he carries so much guilt and why he's so passionate about keeping the folks around him safe. that's kinda been his whole reason for life since he was a kid-- using his skills for the benefit of others. to him, doing anything other than that would be a waste, it seems.

idk. funny guy makes my heart hurt. yes i had all these dialogue screencaps saved and on hand. yes i am a little insane. what of it

[sonicjustbecause]

Shadow incarnations

My three favourites

Maekawa's (especially SA2)

Original Shadow, unlike the others, was just cool. He didn't try. He was aware of this but he didn't try to be cool. Being cool came natural from him. Probably the only incarnation who was able to lie (I don't remember him lying outside SA2), despite this, the most genuine Shadow of all, because he just acted the way he felt like at the moment, like the kid he was, and just like Sonic does. Sulking? Having fun? Sending death treat? Celebrate his victories? Fist bumping? He just did all.

Is also true that his fleshed out personality was all compressed in a tiny space of 9 hours, because he was meant to die, so you had to slowly know him, and is beautiful how it gets unfolded. First you judged him wrongly (through hero story), then play with him, learning about his past and getting to love him (This Shadow is shown to be friendly in the latest part of the game when he finally opens up and actually not much an introvert. In all games written by Maekawa, he is always hanging on with somebody, usually Rouge but also Knuckles and Blaze in Sonic and the Black Knight, and Maria in Sonic Adventure 2. He is just quiet and reserved), then, when happiness is finally handy, he dies. Is tragic.

If Sonic is like the wind, Shadow is like water. In Italy, subtle personality like his are compared to water. Water is calming and serene on surface, but it hides dangers in the depths, is dark and it can suddenly become dangerous. That's Shadow. He is subdued and never gets angry, the dangers are always below the surface. He is dangerous because he is insane due to his traumatic past, his loneliness, his intense sadness and his suicidal tendencies. Unfortunately he doesn't want to die alone, he wants to bring the whole world with him. All of this can be spiced up by his stubborn and melancholy nature that makes the whole thing more explosive. He's very dark and scary (In current -edgelord - characterization, where he is presented as always angry, he is less intimidating. Simply because too much is too much, for the same reason Sonic's glares are way more effective than Shadow's because unusual).

Original Shadow is calm, intelligent, he might be a bit of a science fanatic. In his description of the Eclipse cannon, he resemble the most classic of the mad scientist villain, including some Mr.Burns postures with his hands, his voice was lively.

He's not an actual villain. Before the tragedies of his past he had a gentle and caring nature. But then his family was destroyed and he survived, he was feared, betrayed, brainwashed, captured, sealed. He became mistrustful, cynical, apparently cold, showing his qualities only to his closest friends.

And an interesting detail there, he never opened up to Rouge in SA2. He opened up to Sonic and Amy.

Unlike many future incarnation, the original Shadow was not particularly violent. He greatly favored brain power, leaving brute force for emergencies. Thinking about the games of that period, he virtually spared all his foes, or at least the very same foes Sonic would have spared and took down foes that Sonic also would have take down.

He is soft spoken and quiet. I especially love his VA of that time, David Humphrey, smoother juvenile and engaging, even cute voice. He shows a large range of emotions and attitude on Shadow. Jason was not bad either.

Archie (Universe)

The most expressive Shadow. (I should talk about the problems in Sonic's expressions and where I think they come from) more gruff compared to the original Shadow, aloof and more violent, but also very soft with his friends. I think is based on Adventure Shadow.

Enemies such as Eclipse and Metal Sonic help to reveal many aspect of his personality that Shadow himself might not be fully aware about.

Eclipse, bad design yet compelling and great personality, is his main foe. He shows how dangerous and ruthless Shadow can be when he gets serious/focused. Despite being a villain Eclipse cares sincerely for his friends and family and tries the diplomatic way with Shadow, similar to what an hero would do, with no success.

Metal Sonic instead helped to show Shadow's lack of free will. Yes, Shadow can still be compared with water there too. Unlike the wind that is boundless (and Sonic with his total freedom), water is always contained in some way (dams, bottles etc), controlled and follows a fixed path. When not following the path it can get destructive. If Shadow is not contained, he can cause mass destruction (everything about him is controlled, his path, the rings he wears to control his power, even his will). He is like an organic android, made in flesh instead of metal, his intelligence is AI, programmed twice by a human. But he has a heart, for this he suffers. A lot.

I think Shadow's peculiar speech pattern also shows his artificial nature.

Prime

Is one of the less gloomy versions of Shadow. I would say in Sonic Prime, Shadow is healing. He is mentally strong and more self confident. He still doesn't trust people but he is hopeful for the future. His strenght also helps Sonic to not sink (metaphorically).

Like Sonic, he has a lot of flaws and he is well aware of them. Unlike Sonic, he has a better attention span and has a better control on himself (he sighs a lot when upset or uneasy and this helps him to calm down).

He is outspoken with Sonic as well as he is awkward and shy toward strangers and extremely introverted. He is also so elusive at the point of feeling like some sort of mystical creature. Half of the times is not his fault.

He can be playful, mischievous and knows how to have fun.

The VA is Ian Hanlin. His voice is deeper than David's but is still youthful and soft.

[kerubimcrepin]

Dofus: The Production - reviewing the Xa and Tot interview

pictured: 7yo Joris, 10yo Joris, 60yo Joris, and 584-585yo Joris.

Funnily enough, this interview will touch onto something already mentioned in the artbook I already reviewed.

The origins of Joris as a character.

Sadly, it is machine translated, but I think we'll understand it well enough.

Here we learn that Joris was inspired by Vivi from Final Fantasy. I am sad to report I had never played Final Fantasy, and all my knowledge of him comes from hearsay at best, but Id do find there to be some very funny and twisted parallels between Vivi and Joris, beyond their troubles with lifespans (Vivi's being extremely short, Joris's the opposite...)

Like lol. Lmao even. (laughs fondly at the memory of having drawn fanart of Kerubim and Joris cannibalising one another as symbolism for Kerubim's selfish exploitation of Joris for his own emotional needs and regrets, — and Joris growing to derive pleasure from being exploited by Kerubim, and being a willing participant in the mixture of parentification and infantilization he experiences after the 600 years of living with his dad.)

Anyway,

Joris's progression as a character being "joke character -> character Xa created to be cool and awesome in a moment of inspiration, despite Tot's brief -> he bewitches them both fully" is so funny to me.

I always found it funny that Tot doesn't really see the forest (dofus aux tresors de kerubim) for the trees (child neglect and the psychological horror of Joris Jurgen's entire existence).

Not even going to comment on not knowing what the hell "epic-burlesque" is supposed to mean.

Now we move onto my favourite part of this interview: Tot's thoughts on Joris as a character.

I'm glad he said that they've worked on his life story through multiple centuries. Gives me hope that Tot has given thought to Joris's experiences during Leorictus Sheran-Sharms silly, perhaps even whacky reign.

I want to note the word choice here, — Joris isn't mysterious, but jaded. All of his caginess and "mystique" is attributable in equal part to his distrust of others, cynicism, and exhaustion with the horrible things he has seen throughout his life.

Which would very likely include being cagy even about his class, considering the whole "huppermage gencocide" thing that happened after Leorictus Sheran-Sharm.

The thing about Joris is that it is hard to appraise him from our own point of view. I had always liked how this franchise treats immortal characters, — they are beings with feelings, who make mistakes, who have issues.

But it does not make them any less incomprehensible.

In a way, he is so compelling to me, because I find his existence terrifying — Joris is someone who started out with all these ideas of kindness and justice, but can someone who is 600 years old really uphold them?

Judging from Waven, we know the answer to this question.

I think that with Joris's character, as well as Kerubim and Atcham, one of the major themes is stagnation.

While at times their immortality, and the freedom it provides, is referred to in a bit of an "optimistic nihilism" way,

Especially with the themes and motifs referenced in Aux Tresors de Kerubim, (especially with the ending directly referencing Diane Ardant's monologue,)

It's such a painful mixture of stagnation and endless freedom. There's a horror of never being able to escape, — not from having to experience the horrors of history, not from your own childhood house.

And then there's the horror of moving on from everyone you ever loved. While Kerubim and Joris share this one, I associate it more with Kerubim simply because he is so obsessed with the stories of his youth. It feels as if what was two hundred years ago is just yesterday, to him...

While with Atcham it's just speculation and my own headcanons, the sort of immortality, stagnation related horror I associate with him is dependency. He is not the same, strong person he used to be when he was alone. If he had to go back to Brakmar after all this time, he wouldn't be able to adjust. It's like all this time has declawed him.

Joris never really knew a life outside the all-consuming relationship he has with Kerubim and Atcham, but for Atcham it's different. And with every unchanging year that passes, he settles more and more into this peaceful existence, — and if he were torn away from it, just like Joris and Kerubim, he would not be able to function.

I think that the theoretical endpoint of where Kerubim, Joris, and Atcham could end up is whatever is going between Qilby and Shinonome.

Being one another's only meaning, in a world devoid of meaning, for better or for worse. Probably for worse.

[your-nanas-house]

Mine

◇ Pairing: Ominis Gaunt X fem!Reader; Sebastian Sallow X fem!Reader

◇ Warnings: angst, madness, love, smut, possessiveness

◇ Summary: Y/n decides to let Sebastian have what he wants but Ominis doesn't agree at all.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.

It was Y/n's last year at Hogwarts and also the last chance she had to reveal her feelings to her best friend Ominis Gaunt.

The two had met during their fourth year, they had not immediately bonded given the cynical and vaguely cold demeanor of the descendant of Salazar, but after all the adventures and also thanks a bit to Sebastian the two grew closer discovering new things about each other to the point of developing romantic feelings that were still hidden within them.

Y/n had not spoken to anyone about it but it was clear how she felt given her sweet and all-too-long looks directed at the student, the smiles she wrested from him at every opportunity and the desire to always stay as close to him as possible.

Sometimes the young witch wondered if Ominis felt the same, as sometimes he seemed to give some sign of reciprocating the feelings but then made no move, leaving Y/n disappointed and together only with the constant flirting of her other best friend Sebastian Sallow.

He too like the others had changed after the events of their fourth year, he had grown up and become more handsome or so the girls at Hogwarts claimed along with even a few boys who tried to joke about it later and not blush at the remarkable charm of the Slytherin's freckled and well-delineated face.

The dynamic between Y/n and Sebastian had changed and evolved just as it had between her's and Ominis's, Sebastian was constantly beside her when he could, always ready to make some flirtatious joke and propose things that no one would ever have to find out if the young student wanted to keep her reputation pure in that area.

Sebastian's change in behavior, of course, went not unnoticed by Ominis, who, after sleepless days of trying to decipher Y/n's behavior toward him, hoping to read between the lines, and Sebastian's behavior that was followed by a talk with him, made him come to a conclusion.

Sebastian Sallow, his best friend, had feelings for Y/n, and Y/n evidently had feelings for Sebastian since she laughed at his jokes, did not ask him to stop flirting, and spent time with him.

Ominis was blind, truly and even to the feelings of the young witch who had simultaneously tried to give him clues for months, trying literally everything.

She had invited him to Hogsmeade during Valentine's Day, offered to help him with the subject that gave him the most difficulty, made sure to touch him often even if only by holding his hand or laying her hand gently on his shoulder, always took his arm when they walked together, left kisses on his cheeks or hands that remained imprinted in Ominis' mind, spent hours talking together with him opening up in such a way as to show him that she trusted him.

But all these actions were misunderstood by Ominis, who saw them only as a gesture of friendship or compassion because she thought it would hurt him when she revealed that she and Sebastian loved each other.

The young Gaunt had also tried to convince himself that it was all right for him, if Sebastian made Y/n happy then they could be together, despite the fact that the mere thought of it caused him an unpleasant nausea followed by chest pains, his throat tightened each time while his eyes grew gloomy masked by a veil of sadness; when this happened the poor wizard could not even eat a meal for most of the day.

The time he so feared came a few months before the end of their year, the descendant of Salazar Slytherin was walking quietly through the corridors holding his wand in his hand so as not to bump into the various walls or any objects; it was during that time of the day that he overheard the voice he recognized as Sebastian's. It seemed to come from a secluded area and was barely higher than a whisper; Ominis could not make out who he was talking to but found out very soon since Y/n answered the other wizard's question, allowing herself to be seduced for the first time by the thought of Ominis Gaunt's rejection.

The young man could feel Sebastian's hands move to the witch's hips, he could feel their uniforms move with them as they moved closer, he kept telling himself in his head that it was okay, this was the way things were supposed to be but inside there was something that almost made him suffocate.

After an internal struggle that was brief because Ominis came back to reality as soon as he heard the sound of a kiss, fortunately placed only on the student's hand, but which still had a remarkably strong effect on the wizard.

Something had as if awakened within him and was threatening to come out, his usually lost and sad eyes had become dark and menacing, his teeth clenched and the tension in his jaw was visible.

He had to take only a few steps to get closer to them, sourly and hatefully saying Sebastian's name, whispering a quick apology as he tried to compose himself while grabbing Y/n's hand, revealing uncaring of his friend's response that she and he had to prepare for a subject they had together and that it was something really urgent so they couldn't wait; with that he dragged her away from Sebastian's claws who stood there motionless watching them confused and definitely disappointed.

Y/n did not ask any questions, she followed Ominis blindly, not knowing where he wanted to take her or what they were going to do since they had already finished reviewing all their subjects together.

The fact that he was leading her toward the Undercroft might have been a clue that Ominis really wanted to go over something he might not have understood, but from the aura around them Y/n could tell there was more, Ominis was not like every day, there was something different perhaps a sense of jealousy or possession.

The two entered in silence, Y/n opened her mouth when the door closed but did not have the chance to speak because a hissing sound made her stop; a hissing sound that came out of the mouth of the wizard who apparently did not notice because he kept gesturing as he hissed threateningly, showing all the anger he felt at that moment.

That situation should have frightened the young woman but she was simply thrilled by it, chills ran down her spine at hearing that language that was considered almost a taboo like the thoughts she had at night about the boy who was trapping her at that moment against the nearest wall.

Y/n had no idea what Ominis was saying but she let out a breathless little "yes" when the hissing intonation sounded like a question, apparently she had answered correctly because a satisfied smile formed on the Gaunt's face before he attacked her lips like a snake hungry for its prey, even his hands traveled as such, exploring every single part he could reach, studying and memorizing what her body looked like without letting her catch her breath for even a second.

Ominis's tongue was exploring Y/n's mouth while his hands were under her skirt, on her ass so that he could hold her up better, the witch's legs were wrapped around his hips, pressing her heat against the evident but still hidden boner in the student's pants.

Both were lost in the moment of passion, their hips grinding against each other, both were breathing heavily, and sometimes little moans came out that were interrupted by the Undercroft door opening.

The only one who could be was Sebastian himself, since Ominis and Y/n were already in there; the student walked in without much ado, freezing at the sight, his mouth opened but no sound came out of it, he was shocked and truly disappointed, he had never, ever expected to find his best friend with his uniform disheveled exactly like his hair and the girl he was confessing to earlier in a definitely compromising position, also with her clothes slightly open and a mess.

Sebastian's heart skipped a beat, in a bad way, anger flooded him in seconds, his fists clenched but it soon became sadness, a sadness that made him run out like an angry and offended child, even slamming the door leaving Ominis and Y/n alone again in that secret place.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @huntress-valkyrie , @lostmyremembrall

[currently-tired]

guys, i have been so insane about convergent evolution lately. (my ‘Lanyon takes Henry’s theory of duality a bit too seriously….’ tgs au)

wild. foaming at the mouth.

They meet! But they don’t know it’s each other! They fuck, and don’t know it’s each other!!! A relationship forms slowly... but they’re still torn over the person they loved, and continue to love so deeply. (They don’t know!!!!!)

Imagine this;

Hyde sees an oddly familiar, but incredibly handsome man. (He’s so damn familiar, for some strange reason, but they can’t remember where they saw him from…)

He glosses over that profound familiarity and goes over to proposition him.

(They’ve seen so many people in both bodies. Rich and poor. It’d be unusual if they didn’t recognize at least one someone in a room…)

Lanyon is trying to drown out thoughts of Jekyll in his other body. Hopefully while drunk, and roughly fucking his thoughts away.

The face of the man in front of them is familiar to him, yes, despite never meeting them before... (How unusual, for a person who is unique in appearance.)

To sate his curiosity, he lets the man flirt with him. Lets him drape himself over him, rest a hand suggestively on his thigh, and whisper in his ear.

Lanyon sees hints of Jekyll in that man. The Scottish accent [dulled by years in London, but still prevalent], and the fiery passion in his eyes.

Other smaller things. The way he sat down, leg crossed over leg. Something about his smile. The way he tilted his head…

That unshakeable confidence in his posture, even as he begged Lanyon to do filthy things to him.

(The features that were different, such as sharp claws and teeth, an insane glint to their eyes, and a high and raspy, almost shrieking voice, more of an exciting draw, then a downfall.)

Why not? He seemed so eager anyway…

It’d just be a one night stand. They’d never see each other again.

He’d never be faced with that man who was oh so much like Henry ever again.

So why the hell not?

…

[…They saw each other again, and again.]

They both bump into each other at the bar again. Stare at each other awkwardly, before drawing closer and closer, towards each other... (It’s still two strangers fucking. Nothing else. Nothing more, they assure themselves…)

Both happen to visit Blackfog on the same day. Happen to visit the same stall. A conversation is struck up and they rant about chemicals and alchemy (A relatively new interest of Lanyon’s, developed entirely by his interest in developing the potion, and a longstanding obsession of Jekyll’s), before ducking into an empty alleyway…

Time and time again, they find each other. Spend time with each other.

They become fast friends. They enjoyed each others company, the easy, effortless friendship, with a familiar dynamic that they slot into. (…Almost as if they had already known each other.)

And so, eventually they both begin to deliberately seek each other out.

Regular meetings at the bar, same table every single time.

Hyde shows him how to scale a building. Which foot-holes are too small, how to angle his foot, and which windowsills would support weight.

Snarky, and witty jokes, and friendly conversations are exchanged. (And for Hyde’s part, crude jokes, that always had a hint of intelligence underneath them; a glimpse of another side of the person Lanyon had initially only considered to be a hedonist...)

Lanyon showed them a cynical view of the world. Bitter, and dry, but when motivated or interested, passionate and opinionated.

And Hyde showed him his world. The joy and passion he had for everything in life. All the stupid shit they did, with absolutely no fear of pain or death

(If only they were like this full time! They’d grouse to themself. How nice would life be for them if Henry Jekyll wasn’t so damn numb, and sad!-)

As time goes on, they grow closer, and closer…

Hyde turns down invitation after invitation from perfectly handsome people because ‘Oh, he said he be here in… Ten minutes, sorry.” (Words said completely unapologetically, as they tucked away their watch.)

Lanyon drops a gala, because Hyde wanted to go to the park and catch rats for a rat census, and requested his help. (And if the two of them stayed just a little longer than intended, doing things they probably shouldn’t of, who cared?)

A one night stand evolves into some sort of shaky, undefined relationship.

Hyde starts to bring the man he doesn’t know is Lanyon chocolates and flowers. Other little presents and gifts. (He loved wine. And Jekyll’s own cellar would not miss a fine vintage…)

They start actively craving attention and love from him. (Something they had sworn against, after their heart break tore them apart…)

Jekyll ends up sitting in their office doing paperwork, bored or tired or angry, and imagining what HE would do if he was there. (Sometimes Lanyon, with his biting snarky comments, and sometimes that intense man, with a tease on his lips that always made his heart race…)

At a gala alone, wishing he had someone by his side. (But which someone..?)

Then he stuff the thought away in the corner of his mind, in favor of joining a conversation he prayed was interesting enough to draw this thoughts away completely…

Lanyon starts to look forward to the evenings. He strokes their hair tenderly, runs a hand up their naked spine. (No longer just rough touches, that they begged him for…

Soft fleeting things, that they never requested, but always accepted happily. Sometimes even with a purr.)

Alchemical books carried around all night, taken out of Lanyon’s bag and shoved forcefully into their arms, before he ran off back home for the night.

Their face, surprised at first, and then joyful and pleased when they saw what it was, burned into Lanyon’s retinas, and memory…

(Wait… Since when did seeing Edward happy make Lanyon so happy?..)

Both, a second away from whispering a certain four letter word, before choking it back…

Then, they both realize it’s gone too far. It’s no longer just a one night stand!-

(But none of them want it to stop…)

And Lanyon has to admit to himself that he’s falling for someone again, even through those thick walls he put up. And he also has to admit that their similarities to Jekyll are not the only reason he’s pursuing them. (…Or are they? Was Eddy just a replacement for Jekyll? They were so similar. But so different at the same time.

Which was it?-)

Hyde has to consider that their policy of being completely emotionally detached relationships is being challenged.

(Just one more time. There’s no emotions. Just good sex. I don’t care about him. He doesn’t care about me. It can’t be that bad! I would never let it get that bad!-)

Other times, they scream at the top of their lungs, and break things. How dare their heart betray them like this!-

HOW DARE IT MAKE THEM LOVE AGAIN!-

As Jekyll they sigh, and wonder if it is unfair. A betrayal, to love two people at once. (Both to themself, and to them…)

Could he truly devote himself to one now? Which?!-

(They did not have an answer for himself…)

Both shake, and lie awake at night, wondering, pondering. (Should I break it off? Should it keep going?

…How did I let this happen?)

But they’re both in far too deep to quit without broken hearts and pain…

And they don’t want to anyway.

[animeyanderelover]

Tags: @flaming-vulpix because you wanted to be tagged in case I write anything about Free, right? This is the first part, I'll write the second part as soon as possible.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, toxic relationship, stalking, clinginess, obsession, possessive behavior, manipulation, guilt-tripping, murder, abduction

A twisted fairytale: The little merman

"Mommy, mommy! Tell me a story please!"

"Sure, sweetheart. What story do you want to hear tonight?"

"The story of the little mermaid!"

"Again? I thought you were upset about the ending because the princess never found her true love and turned to foam instead? Say, would you be interested in another story instead, one similar to the one of the little mermaid?"

"Which one?"

"Ever heard of the tale of the little merman?"

"No. Does the little merman also get turned into foam even though he saved his love?"

"Now, now my dear. Don't sound so sad. This story is quite a bit different from the one of the mermaid. It tells the story of a young and beautiful merman finding love and ultimately giving in to his dark desires. It's quite a twisted story, perhaps I should tell it to you once you're older."

"Nooo! No, please, I want to know!"

"I thought you'd say that. Alright then. Come here. Once upon a time, deep in the blue sea, there lived a little merman. He was beautiful, with amber eyes, dark teal hair and a fin glittering in gorgeous colours of green and blue. But even if he was blessed with all this beauty, the little merman was also very lonely..."

~~~

His parents had left him as soon as he had been old enough to fight and hunt for himself, after he'd learned all he needed to know. Him and his brother Natsuya still stayed in contact but even he was not very present in Ikuya's life, exploring the oceans around the world. Ikuya hadn't come with him, sceptical and cynical, largely confused by his brother's adventurous streak. The appeal of seeing new things had never quite resonated with him as he preferred the comfortable and familiar surroundings of the coral reef he'd been born into. So, even with a slightly heavy heart, he had said goodbye to his older brother, watching how his fin in the dull colours of green, orange and brown had disappeared in the darkness of the sea. Years of solitude with no one besides the creatures of the sea and the abyssal channel of the sea wizard in the deepest part of the ocean where the light didn't reach the water anymore. Ikuya had done his best to stay away from him though as his parents and his brother had warned him about the twisted man who enjoyed inflicting sorrow and despair on others, even humans which did not belong to their world.

Humans.

Ikuya had never met those beings before, had only heard tales of them from his parents. People not so different from their own kind, only that they had two legs instead of a colourful fin and lived on the solid ground. He'd been mind-blown when he had been told that they couldn't live under water because they would drown otherwise after a while. Apparently they weren't able to breathe under water differently from the mermaids and merman. At that part, Ikuya remembered having almost sympathized with humans as he had experienced the same one time in his life. When he had been small and had swam too close to a beach out of curiosity to hopefully see a human, a particularly strong wave had pushed him out of the water. He could still remember the warm sand clinging to his wet body, the unforgiving sun stinging his exposed and pale skin, the panic as he hadn't been able to move on the solid ground and the tight and contracting feeling in his chest as he had gasped, an aching emptiness inside his lungs. Natsuya had saved him just in time but since then Ikuya had strayed away from leaving the deeper parts of his home.

Curiosity had over time turned into cynical distrust as he had heard from other traveling sea folk about how humans hunted their kind, trapped them in nets, hurt them with spears and tore them away from the water, either letting them die or selling them for money, something quite valuable for their kind and something worth killing for, apparently. Ikuya knew better now, stayed away from beaches and watched the weirdly-shaped forms in which humans apparently traveled across the ocean, hid as soon as they threw their nets in to catch fish, a shared food between his and their kind. The smallest part of him harbored still his child-like curiosity to at least catch a glimpse of a human but his logical, his cynical side knew better.

Until this one terrible storm. Until he could see the surface of the water curling and rippling with movement as the wind picked up and heavy rain started to fall, becoming part of the large body of water. The usually gorgeous bluish-green water turned dark as the sun hid behind mountains of dark storm clouds. He could only imagine how chaotic and loud it must have been up there but under water everything was peaceful and quiet, put his heart at ease. He strongly flapped with his fin as he hurried back to his own cave, deciding to wait until the storm would stop. A dark shadow on the surface stopped him mid-way though and his amber eyes widened when he realized that it was a boat of a human, still out in the water in this weather, far away from the next coast. He watched with an anxious heart as the little form swayed heavily across the strong and feral waves until the inevitable happened. The tiny boat flipped over, swallowed by a large wave.

A white material, the sail as far as Ikuya recalled, floated inside the water, almost reminding him of a very large jellyfish. It still moved, indicating the movements of the water now instead of the movements of the wind, it's actual purpose on boats. It was weirdly fascinating to see the stuff fluttering back and forth but rapid movement besides it quickly became the main focus of Ikuya's attention as he felt his heart stop inside his chest.

A human. A real human.

Their movements were disgraceful and clumsy, their two legs trashing around and their arms flailing around helplessly as they tried to push themselves over the surface. As far as he could tell with his enhanced sight, every time they did, the next wave washed over them and brutally pushed them down again. Their limbs trashed around more and more urgently as he could clearly see panic riddling their thoughts and brain as they thought for their life. His amber eyes were transfixed on their struggling form as he felt a heavy knot inside his chest. The way their limbs hit the water around them, the way their body turned desperately had him recall the day he had stranded onto the beach, threatening to drown and then dry out under the unforgiving sun. His fin moved slightly up as if unconsciously wanting to help but Ikuya stopped quickly, hesitant. All the stories he'd heard spinning around in his mind. What if you'd attack him?

The surface rippled with movement as another wave shot across it, heavier and larger than all the other ones. Your whole body did a summersault as it's weight crashed over you, your head smashing against the mast of your little boat. Just like that, all of your movement suddenly stopped as your body stilled and slowly sank down, your clothes fanning out around you. He saw the swirls of red before he smelled the blood. Raw panic ran in his brain as his heart was racing against his chest, the strong emotion nearly overwhelming him. Instinct took over and before he could remind himself better, he bolted through the water.

Your eyes were closed and your mouth wide open, inhaling the water that was so deadly for your kind yet needed for his own. Arms quickly wrapped themselves around your waist as he swam up, breaking through the surface of his own world. The cold and harsh wind immediately whipped him across his exposed body and smacked his wet hair across his face, the seemingly never-ending rain rebounding from his skin. He could hear the roaring of the sky, thunder as humans called it, his body flinching whenever the loud noise ripped through the air, ringing painfully in his sensitive ears.

Ikuya felt terrified, his body beginning to shake as he was overwhelmed from everything going on outside of the water. Storms were scary, he'd expected it but witnessing one in person was so much more worse than the stories he'd heard from others. If it wouldn't have been for the warmth of your own body against his own, Ikuya was sure he'd have been completely lost to his fear. When he felt a small jolt going through your body though, it was like he was reminded that he had someone to look after, something that forced him to swallow down all of his anxieties and uncertainties. His eyes scanned your face, wet strands clinging onto it as your mouth was half-open and he could hear how you were attempting to breathe troubled.

Why? You were outside the water, you should be able to breathe normally again. For a short moment he felt the same uncomfortable panic of not knowing what to do again before his ears picked up a gurgling sound coming out of your throat. Realization flew over his face before he swung one arm around your torso, pressing it tightly against your stomach whilst bending you slightly down so that our tummy was pressed tightly against his arm. Ikuya would lie if he would have said he knew what he was doing exactly, only aware that there was water in your lungs stopping you from properly breathing. The pressure against your stomach seemed to help though as you hunched over and coughed up a good amount of water that you'd swallowed earlier before sagging in his arms, the back of your head pressed gently against his chest, your eyes still closed. Goosebumps appeared all over your skin, the cold wind and the cool water robbing your body of it's precious warmth.

Unconsciously Ikuya felt how you snuggled closer to the only resource of warmth you still had, his own body. He froze, not used to such intimacy or any touches at all due to his lonely life style. Yet even if it was awkward, it wasn't entirely unpleasant. Having another warm body pressed against his own, feeling your own heartbeat against his chest which reassured him that he'd done so far everything right. Amber eyes took a closer inspection over your face, scrutinizing every little feature. You looked innocent cuddled up into him, too innocent for him to align you with any of the brutal stories he'd heard about humans.

He was mesmerized for a while, staring at the first human he'd ever seen in his life. Only when another thunder echoed through the dark sky, searing in his ears, was he pulled out of his trance and reminded that he had to bring you to the coast. Ikuya was careful as he leaned slightly back, his back dipping back into the water. Your head was placed on his chest, above the water so that you could still breathe. He found some slight troubles with your legs as they swayed beneath the water, getting in the way with his fin which slowed him a bit down but eventually he entered the shallow water, feeling the ground whenever he flapped his fin until he felt the sand underneath his back. He knew that he still wasn't close enough but also knew that he couldn't swim properly anymore in such shallow water. Instead he flipped carefully around, holding you with one arm close to his chest whilst using the other one to crawl the last bit.

Little pieces of sand and shells were scratching against his skin, his fin a sudden weight that he wasn't used to and the crawl an exhausting exercise yet his grip on you never wavered, an unknown determination to save you. He only stopped when the waves merely swept meekly across the beach, barely enough to cover him. He wouldn't crawl any further than this, he was too afraid to leave the water completely but hopefully this should be enough. He was slightly panting by now, taking in the same oxygen as you did. It was doable for him for anow but before it could get to the point where he would feel the same tight feeling in his chest, he'd rather leave. He should have left.

But somehow he couldn't.

Ikuya was mesmerized. Mesmerized by the human he'd just saved, breathing quietly and gently beneath him, looking so docile and pure. One of his hands touched locks of your wet hair tentatively, rubbing the strands of hair in between his fingers. He sensed the warmth of your skin, felt it brush against his human upper body when he leaned closer to you. He felt a weird sensation bubbling up inside his chest, his heart still pounding against his chest. But not in the same fearful manner it had done earlier though, each heartbeat pumping a warm and fussy sensation through his body as he gazed down at you, overwhelmed in a new way.

He didn't know how long exactly he spent like this, leaning over you and just staring at you, only noting absent-minded that at one point the rain stopped and rays of sunshine broke through the clouds, gracing the earth after the storm. It shone upon you, caressing your face gently and making your eyes flutter ever so weakly, your body stirring sluggishly beneath him. Only then did Ikuya snap out of his trance and quietly yet quickly made his way back into the waves. He felt a tightness in his chest as he did so, not wanting to leave you yet there was also a weight inside his heart that he couldn't quite put his fingers around. A fear to be seen by you yet not because of anxiety to be attacked and killed. No, it was something else but he didn't know what.

The water embraced his being, welcoming him back as he crawled back into his home, his fin losing all it's previous weight as it started gliding through the water, propelling him forward. In the corner of his eyes he saw your body sitting up slowly as if still not quite there with your mind. The moment your gaze landed on the water, spotting his teal-coloured fin, you stood abruptly up, nearly losing your balance in the process as if dizzy. There it was again. The same fear, only much more intense as you had seen him. He found himself halting, peaking his head out of the water slightly to observe your reaction. You stood there on the beach, probably too far away to see his head poking out of the water but searching for traces of him anyways. He found himself dreading your reaction.

Your hands closed in on your mouth and he saw your chest expanding as you took in a deep breath.

"Thank you!! Thank you so much!!"

Your voice echoed across the ocean and the coast, wavering with excitement and sheer gratitude to still be alive, to have been saved by him. Something hot exploded inside his chest, flodding his veins with the same sensation as it seemed like all negative feelings, his loneliness and fear, melted away in an instant. His fin flapped around excitedly, his body showing physical reactions when hearing those words no one had spoken to him in years, much less a human who'd never met him before. Ikuya continued hiding though, only leaving when you made your way back to the mainland. Even as he swam in the cold water though, the heat blooming across his skin didn't cool down.

~~~

Dread that he'd never see you again soon turned into giddy relief when he one day saw you in the distance on the beach again with a new boat, setting out into the sea. You apparently were a fisher as he soon found out as he followed your boat from underwater, watching as you threw in the net. Eagerness to help you filled him every time he saw you and so he shooed schools of fish close to you, willing to share his food resource with you. Even on days where you weren't on your boat, he could often see you on the beach, although he always kept his safe distance. Sometimes you were drawing, other times you just took a long stroll across the beach, the waves splashing around your feet. You must have lived close to the ocean, as Ikuya started assuming after a while.

He often wondered if you had always spend so much time on the beach and at the ocean or if all if this had been a result of him saving you. He'd never paid close attention to humans before so he had no way of telling but the thought of you doing all of this because of a hope to see him again made his heart speed up a bit.

Even though he could see you as often as he did though, the dull pain still throbbed deep inside his heart, especially when he was all by himself again. Loneliness he had never minded or had ignored well before stretched long whenever night fell and you would head back to your home, leaving him alone with his thoughts and feelings buzzing loudly through his mind.

He wanted to touch you again, wanted to feel your warm touch on his skin, the warmth spreading through his body until it would reach his heart and fill him with the same blissful sensation he'd experienced back then. He didn't know how that should be possible though, still too skittish to reveal himself to you.

~~~

You let out a groan as you heaved the full net out of the ocean, feeling beads of sweat forming on your face and body as you pulled the full catch out of the blue water. You saw all the fish floundering desperately against the net as they were pulled out of their home. You couldn't recall having ever had such big catches before but recently the ocean seemed to be on your side. From being saved by a mermaid/merman and now always catching such a large catch, enough for you to live from whilst selling whatever you knew you couldn't devour in time, earning you the needed money.

You'd never told anyone about what you'd seen that day out of respect for the creature that had saved your life back then. You knew the tales of sirens who lured ships into their end, about the creatures lurking inside the darkest parts of the ocean, waiting to devour all humans unfortunate enough to cross their territory. At the same time you found it ironic how humans were chasing after them, caught them and killed them to show the dead bodies off like prized trophies or keeping them alive to sell them or show them off only for them die in captivity. You had a strong connection with the ocean, had grown up close to it and had filled up your parent's shoes by also becoming a fisher.

If your parents were still alive, they'd be proud of you right now, you were sure of it as you slowly pulled up the heavy catch. It felt like the net would tear apart at any moment with all the weight as you leaned further back, digging the heels of your feet into the wood as you pulled and pulled, the catch only growing heavier as it left the water. When it got dragged over the rim of the boat though, it suddenly got stuck, leaving you with no choice but to leave over and grab the heavy load with your hands. You felt the cold and wet moving bodies under your palms as you lifted the net up, nearly keeling over in the process as your foot slipped and you almost fell into the ocean only to push yourself abruptly back with the other foot, causing you to stumble back, the net clutche against your chest and soaking your shirt.

To your huge shock you saw something slipping out of the pocket of your shirt though, dropping into the ocean. You dropped all the fish, your hand flying to your pocket only to feel emptiness inside.

"Damn it!" you cursed out loudly since no one was around, storming back to lean as far over the boat as you could, eyes searching the water beneath you. You knew it would be useless though and you doubted that you could just dive in and retrieve your pocket watch which you had inherited from your father. Your hands still dove under the surface as deep as they could, feeling around. You chewed your bottom lip frustrated. That watch was one of the few things you had still left of your father. Losing it here would haunt you forever.

You pulled your arms abruptly out of the water when they brushed against something that was moving, images of sharks flashing in front of your eyes. Your movement might have lured them close as they could have mistaken your arms for prey. You'd surely not lose your arm to a shark, you'd heard not so pleasant stories about other fisher and their encounters with a shark. Your eyes were glued to the water as you took a few cautious steps back when noticing the water rippling, stirring with movement. Something emerged tentatively from underneath, a hand holding something inside it's clenched fist.

As quick as you'd stumbled backwards, you stumbled forward again when they opened their fist to reveal your watch inside their palm, holding it out towards you. It was them again, wasn't it? For a few seconds you were stunned, realizing that it was the mermaid/merman again. Had they been following you? When they stretched their arm out a bit further whilst still trying to keep their head underwater, you snapped out of your shock. You carefully took the watch out of their palm, noticing their hand and fingers twitching when feeling your warm touch grazing their skin. Every movement was slow in order to not scare them, even as you pulled away, your watch clutched in your palm.

Your eyes caught onto the way their fingers stretched out when you pulled away as if wanting to grab you only to stop midway as if remembering that they shouldn't do it. Your eyes could actually make out the outline of them, the dark hair and the shape of their fin swaying gently back and forth. Then your gaze wandered back to their outstretched arm, still there as if not knowing what to do now. Your other hand stretched out towards their own, even if you were unsure what you should do. Very slowly you laid your hand into their open palm, not flinching this time as they grasped onto your hand tightly. Their skin was about as warm as yours was, smooth as opposed to your skin that always turned wrinkly when you were for too long in water.

Your other hand stuffed the watch back into your pocket, although your main focus was on this weirdly intimate interaction with someone from the ocean right now. No one was here, only them and you and you knew in that moment for sure that you'd never let anyone know about them. This was your moment with them, your weird bond with them and you wouldn't let anyone interfere.

Your hand touched upon the necklace you were wearing, consisting of a simple string and of a small dolphin you had carved out of wood. Without even thinking about it much, you pulled it over your head, laying it gently down into their palm as now both of your hands embraced their own.

"Thank you again. Here, please take this." you spoke softly before pulling away, unsure if they had even heard you or understood your language to begin with. You watched as they clenched the little present protectively between their fingers before sinking back into the ocean. You watched with wonder and amazement as their body turned around and a part of their gorgeous fin poked out of the water as if to bid you goodbye before the wonderful creature disappeared deep into the world where they belonged.

Ikuya's heart on the other hand was pounding once again rapidly against his chest, the warmth from your hands spreading across his body until he could even feel the tips of his fin tingling with this warm shudder. He clutched the little thing you'd given him close to his chest, admiring it even if he wasn't entirely sure what it was, although he did recognize that it was in the shape of a dolphin. Had you made this? For him? He blushed with the thought, with a dreamy hope, that you'dmade this specifically for him.

~~~

Despite not being aware that it was a necklace, Ikuya still got the right idea of letting it sway on his neck, even if the changed gravity underwater often threatened to swipe his new treasure away from him. The teal-haired male wore your present all the time, never putting it away even once, the little wooden dolphin an object he cherished more than anything else. His hands often touched it as he gazed down at it with longing eyes whenever night fell over earth and water, distancing him from you.

The pain deep inside his chest had only gotten worse since that day, the ache clawing at his poor heart as he pressed the little dolphin close to his chest, praying to see you the next day again. He dreamt of taking you with him underwater, to show you his home, imagined showing you an actual dolphin whilst envisioning your amazed and happy face. Every time his fantasies were shattered though when he recalled that this would never happen. You wouldn't be able to survive underwater. You'd die.

Both of you were part of different worlds and could never survive in the other's home. He could never truly be with you the way he wished to be. The cruel reality of the situation crushed his heart completely, heart-broken sobs and whimpers escaping his lips whenever he remembered and fled back into the confinement of his own cave. There was so much he wanted to show you but it all would never be possible. Not until one night, one of another slow and agonizing nights, he remembered something.

The sea wizard.

~~~

The sea wizard's cave was located in the deepest part of Ikuya's home and the further he swam down, the more he could feel the temperature drop as darkness engulfed him, the light failing to reach those parts of the sea. Only thanks to his heightened senses and the animals down there with their glowing fluorescent bodies could he see at all. The atmosphere was gloomy, spooky and weirdly lonely yet there was it's own serenity and peacefullness. Ikuya recalled vaguely how his parents had used to tell him how only darkness would be found down here with no sign of live, fitting the grim and malicious creature living down here but he found that to not be true as he traveled further along in search of the cave. Giant spider crabs, emitting a dull orange light, countless little cute flapjack octopuses glowing in multiple colours, excitedly flapping around him as if happy about the rare visitor, sea pigs, sea angels, anglerfish and even multiple schools of fluorescent jellyfish, some twice as big as his entire head. Life was flourishing with animals down here too.

A moray eel caught his eye as it moved it's long body through the body, right at him. It's fangs protruded from it's upper and lower lips, long enough to tear his flesh off if it should bite. Instead it just seemed to observe him, it's body glowing in a light purple colour, before it swam away, stopping every few moments and looking back, finally making Ikuya realize that it wanted him to follow. He did exactly that, following the animal through the deep sea-channel, passing all the scary yet weirdly beautiful animals living down here. Eventually the moray eel stopped, right in front of a cave, partially hidden by fluorescent algae drapped over the entrance like a curtain.

A short moment of hesitation, a lump of fear forming at the back of his throat as he hovered right in front of the same creature he'd heard all the nightmarish legends before. Yet he was his only option. He clutched your gift as if to gather courage before his tail propelled him forward, brushing past the glowing plants and entering the cave. He didn't know why but somehow Ikuya had expected the inside of it to be dark and scary yet even in here was a decent amount of light. Fluorescent corals that had grown on the stone walls were lined next to each other, the way they had grown into place looking everything but natural. They lit the way for Ikuya as he slowly traveeled further into the cave, holding tight onto pendant you'd given him, amber eyes searching for any sign of danger.

The narrow halls of the cave soon gave way to a huge interior with multiple ways, all lit up with the same corals. It looked pleasant, far too pleasant if the sea wizard was anything like he'd heard. Which way was he supposed to head now though? He didn't want to look like an intruder out of fear to be punished by the infamous sea monster. Calling out to him seemed like a ludicrous idea yet it seemed to be the easist and politest option.

"Hello! Is someone here?" His shouts were diffident, still very sceptical about this all, even if it had been his idea in the first place. Moments passed by where he heard and saw nothing yet he didn't dare to shout again, anxiously waiting in the hallway of this cave. Nothing happened and it messed with Ikuya's nerves, the tension of anticipation and fear almost unbearable. Just as he decided to head out of here, assuming that no one was here, his ears picked it up. The sounds of someone moving through the water, propelling their body with strong movements into his direction. His eyes turned to the tunnel on the left side, a grotesque form slowly appearing. A part of him really just wanted to run yet he couldn't. He'd come here on his own free will, had called the sea wizard and running away now might just earn him the wrath of this man he had just disturbed.

He was so much taller than Ikuya, not only by meassurements of his upper body but also his lower body which was covered with multiple light-colored grey-purple tentacles. His skin was so pale that Ikuya could see a couple of veins underneath his skin. He had light blond hair and glowing purple eyes, his pupils a thin slit which gave him a predator-like appearance. When the sea wizard parted his mouth slightly, Ikuya saw sharp teeth, easily as sharp, if not sharper, than the ones of the moray eel earlier.

"You called?"

His voice carried confidence and strength, his body language clearly showcasing his strength, a stark contrast in comparison to Ikuya's stiff and skittish gestures. He swallowed, gazing at the unnatural lower body of the sea wizard. He'd never seen anything besides tails with fin, someone having the lower body of an octopus was new and in his eyes strange and scary-looking, from the way his tentacles twitched in the water to the sheer number of them.

He was rendered speechless in front of the sea wizard, something the man noticed.

"I don't have all day. State your purpose or leave my cave." His cold voice broke Ikuya out of his frightened trance, hands instantly flying up to grab the pendant, something the monster's purple eye noticed with slight interest.

"I-I'm here because I need your help."

He raised a pale eyebrow, mustering the young merman who had entered his home, the first visitor in years.

"Sorry kid but I don't offer my service anymore. I've closed that business down a couple of years ago. Go home."

The creature ignored the way Ikuya's eyes widened in shock, a desperate feeling invading his heart as his only hope was crushed nonchalantly by the wizard who had already turned around. "Wait! Why?" He called after the blond man, daring to swim a bit closer before purple eyes met his in a sharp gaze, warning him to not tresspass any further in. "I have my reasons. Nowadays I spent my time with something far more important. I have no interest anymore in catering to the need of your kind only to be met with accusations and ungratefulness. Solve your problems yourself."

"Wait, please! You're the only one who can help me!"

Perhaps it was the desperation that made the sea wizard turn around one more time, cold eyes mustering the little merman in front of him, amber eyes filled with pleas and despair. He pursed his lips.

"What do you need my help for anyways?"

At this question, Ikuya's breath stuttered. How would someone like the sea wizard react to hearing that he was in love with a human? He could only stare at the sea creature, mouth slightly agape and jaw loosely moving yet no sound came out. The sea wizard lost patience soon and turned around again, finally giving Ikuya the push he needed.

"I-I think I'm in love with a human."

The entire build of the half-octopus stopped, only his tentacles still moving gently around in the water, his head turning over his shoulder, releaving his purple eye which now looked at him with newfound intrigue.

"Hmm. Why don't you tell me a bit more? Afterwards I'll decide if this problem is worth wasting my time for."

~~~

He circled around Ikuya much like a predator around pray as soon as Ikuya had finished his story, purple eye glowing with something Ikuya couldn't decipher, a small grin of intrigue on his face.

"I see. Tragic indeed, two lovers of two different worlds. It makes you nearly lose your mind, doesn't it? Knowing that both of you can never be together because neither of you could survive in the world of the other one. Your heart is probably racing, your mind is filled with thoughts of them and them only and your body craves to be close to them. Am I right?"

Ikuya nodded nervously, his own amber-coloured eyes following every movement of the man out of survival instinct, as if the sea wizard would wrap hia tentacles around his slim form at any moment and brutally squeeze him to death.

"So I assume that you want my help because you need something to be able to live on the land."

Ikuya gave him a shocked look. A portion for him to live on land?

The scary man in front of him snickered when seeing his startled look.

"Oh, I see how it is. You thought that I'd make you something to be able to have them diving underwater with you, didn't you? Well, I'd hate to disappoint you but that would be a bit unfair, wouldn't it?"

"Why?"

"Think about it, they already spend so much time at the ocean, nearly drowned in here once too. You on the other hand have only ever known the safe confinements of your home and never explored the land. It is quite selfish from you to demand from me to prepare a potion to take them with you in the surroundings you feel most comfortable with. Also, are you even sure that they feel the same way about you like you do about them?"

Ikuya's hands tightened into fists, one of his hands again secured around the necklace. The sea wizard had hit a sensitive spot in him and judging from the way his smile only grew larger, revealing rows of razor-sharp teeth, he knew that too.

"However, I wouldn't want to leave you alone with such strong feelings in your heart-" he began, eyes trailing over his shoulders for a moment, his words giving Ikuya some hope, "but I do have some conditions if I'm giving you my help."

"What conditions?" Ikuya asked cautiously.

"First of all, I'm only going to offer you something so you can live up there. Judging from what you've told me, you never once left this place so I'm not helping you if you're not willing to sacrifice something in order to be with the one you love. Second of all, you're not allowed to let them know that you're a merman, especially not the one who saved them. Third of all, I want your necklace as payment."

He pointed one of his clawed fingers to the necklace on Ikuya. Ikuya's hands flew up to it, hiding the wooden dolphin behind his palms. "Why the necklace?" he asked quietly, unhappy with the thought of parting with something you'd gifted him. "I need to take something in exchange for my help after all, don't I? And looking on how much you cherish this pendant, I think it has the right amount of value. Also, why so sad? You're going to be soon with your human anyways, won't you?"

He gave Ikuya a long look, stretching one of his hands out. Moments of Ikuya hesitating passed by before he gave in, aware that he had no other options. He felt a weird tug in his heart as he pulled the necklace off and handed it over to the sea wizard who observed the little dolphin carved out of wood for a while before turning away, satisfied.

"Now we have a deal." he spoke in a far more content tone, searching for something in the little cavities within the stones where he had stoked up a lot of things, presumably for potions. He picked after a while something out, more algae as Ikuya could tell, although it had a suspicious colour of dark blue to it. He handed him those plants.

"That should do it. Take those and you'll be able to become a human just like your love on land. However, you'll transform back into a merman in a couple of months and depending in which place you'll turn back, you might die. That's a risk you have to be willing to take though. Also, a good advice: Take those once you're close to the surface or otherwise you'll drown down here."

Ikuya stared at the bundle of the dark blue plants before giving the sea wizard a confused look. "Why only a couple of months? Why not give me more?"

"That's all you'll get from me. Remember though. You have only a few months to try to make this human fall in love with you. A true love's kiss is all you'll need to stay forever with them."

"But what if they don't fall in love with me?"

"Then that just means that you two aren't meant to be and that you shouldn't see them ever again. Simple as that."

He could see Ikuya's body going slightly rigid, his sharp words getting to him. Nevertheless, he thanked the sea wizard before quickly heading out, eager and hopeful. Purple eyes watched half-amused after his fast form. How that would turn out?

~~~

The gentle night breeze brushed over his bare and wet skin, goosebumps appearing all over his upper body as he heaved himself out of the water as good as he could. He had left the safety and comfort of his home once again, his tail once again gaining a uncomfortable and straining weight he wasn't used to. One of his hands was clutching the algae close to his chest, saggy and slimy clinging to the skin of his palm. No matter what though, he couldn't afford to lose them. Even if the sea wizard had been far more welcoming than Ikuya had ever anticipated, he didn't want to stretch his kindness. This was still a creature far more powerful than him after all.

With a silent "uff" he used his hands to push his body around, his back now facing the copious amount of sand on the beach. No one was here at this time of the night, not even you. In short, it was the perfect time to take the plants.

"You have only a few months to try to make this human fall in love with you."

"Then that just means that you two aren't meant to be and that you shouldn't see them ever again. Simple as that."

The cold words of the sea wizard lingered in his mind, an invisible weight that clung to his heart. He couldn't fathom the idea of never seeing you again.

But what if...?

He shook his head, eyes closed as he tried to get rid of such thoughts. The sea wizard had to be wrong! Ikuya had felt it on the day that he had saved you, the way his body and his heart had called out to you. And you must have felt something too. His heart dropped when he grabbed emptiness before recalling that he had given up his necklace. Forbidding him to tell you who he was was unfair but Ikuya was too scared to go against what the sea wizard had said. Apparently the man had eyes and ears everywhere. He hadn't been wrong when he had said that Ikuya would be able to spend time with the real you after all. A gift far more vulnerable than the necklace and who knew, maybe you'd make him a new one.

With those thoughts in his head, giving him courage, he stuffed all of the seaweed in his mouth at once, chewing it hastily. His face scrunched up when the bitter taste of it infiltrated his mouth, the texture strangy. He was sure that the sea wizard with his own sharp teeth would be able to chew the plants well but Ikuya's set of teeth was comparable to the one of a human and after a few moments his jaw started to hurt.

He was glad once it all had become a blue paste in his mouth as he swallowed it all at once, the bitter aftertaste almost causing him to gag. He forced the gag reflex down though. Ikuya had missed asking the sea wizard what exactly would happen after his consumption of the seaweed which came biting him back as he sat there, skin prickling with anxious anticipation and worries that maybe he'd been tricked or done something wrong.

Relief almost flodded him when he noticed that his tail started tingling and amber eyes watched half-fascinated and half-terrified when the bluish-green fin started parting in the middle, seemingly torn apart yet he couldn't feel anything besides the pricking numbness in his whole lower body. Teal-coloured flakes slowly faded away, giving way for the same pale skin on his upper body as his tail re-shaped itself into two legs. Ankles, thighs and toes formed themselves out of the flesh of what used to be his beautiful fin and Ikuya tentatively reached out to brush across his new limbs. Even after the transformation was done, he sat in the same position, staring at his legs, moving his toes carefully to slowly get a feel for his new body.

Only after moving and stretching his legs for a while, a feeling so foreign to him, he slowly attempted to stand up on wobbly kness, unfamiliar with the gravity outside of water. His steps were slow and cautious, sand and little sharp shells cutting into the ball of his feet. The first few times he fell down after only a few steps, pushing himself up every time with his hands. At least no one was watching him as he continued the entire night like this, learning how to walk on two feet.

~~~

You had caught enough fish for the entire week with your last catch, leaving you with plenty of spare time if you didn't take small jobs in the nearby town to earn some extra cash. Even if you didn't sail out into the ocean though, you still enjoyed strolling across the long coasts on the island. The sea with it's gentle waves, artistic blue colours and refreshing breeze was always a welcoming sight to your senses. Everything looked so peaceful when you gazed across the water in such moments but you knew best that the ocean, like most of nature, always had two faces. Right now you didn't want to think about that though, you had come here after all to enjoy a free day.

A simple and relaxing day. All you could have wanted. Such temporary peace came quickly to an end when you caught something in the distance, sprawled across the sand. You squinted your eyes, taking in the shape of it until your eyes widened slightly shocked. That thing was a human!

"Holy shit!"

Your slow tempo was abandoned as you ran and jumped across the beach, your shoes sometimes sinking deeper into the sand, it's warmth engulfing you but unfortunately you had no time for this.

He was as naked as a freshborn baby, sand clinging to his skin. You quickly bent down, relieved to note that he was still breathing deep and softly. Was he asleep? Where had he even come from? Your eyes darted across the beach, searching for any signs of a shipwreck only to find it as clean and empty as always. Well, besides this new msyterious guest.

Speaking of him, you felt him stirring inside your arms, bleary amber eyes fluttering open, his eyelids heavy because he'd just woken up. His dark hair fell a bit over his eyes which why he maybe took a moment to see your face but the moment he did, his heart did multiple summersaults. You could feel how his whole body stiffened in your hold and tilted your head curiously yet also slightly worried when you saw how his face started to turn red, from his ears to his cheeks.

"Well, hello there. From where exactly did you come from?"

Part 2

[bozers]

Random Mk character headcanons Pt.1 THE MENFOLK

Raiden

Sweaty. Sweats like a mf even when he isn't working. Has to wear undershirts to combat the waterfall coming off him.

Never struggled with anger issues until becoming a champion and getting the amulet.

Secretly a bit freaky. Is down for pretty much anything eye emoji

Reiko

Has a mild ED. Was worse when he was younger, but he's getting better about it. Used to hoard food. Struggles with body dysmorphia due to unrealistic expectations, comparing himself to Shao ( a completely different species...)

Allergic to cats.

Loves the ocean. Dreams of one day owning his own boat to take out sailing whenever he wants.

Kung Lao

Weirdly enough? Introvert. Raiden is one of very few people who doesn't deplete his social battery.

Struggles with bouts of depression. Self medicates with Marijuana.

He is incredibly secure in himself and none of his confidence is an act. That doesn't mean he can't get discouraged sometimes, but he won't try and hide disappointment behind false smiles.

MOAR BELOW vvvvv

Johnny Cage

Struggled with contamination OCD tendencies all his life and coped using substances. His lifestyle is in direct conflict with his illness and it acts like immersion therapy in a way.

Cancer runs in his family so he is vigilant about getting screened once a year.

Life in Hollywood almost crushed him into an apathetic cynic, but somehow, he has managed to stay hopeful if not a bit delusional at times. His hunger for recognition rivaled only by his boundless curiosity.

Smoke

He had a tongue ring for many years and wants to eventually get a tattoo but can't settle on a design.

Can "Slav Squat" and isn't shy about showing off to friends.

Struggles with unhealthy attachment styles.

Rain

Is actually an extrovert. He may think himself above others, but he still requires validation and gets sad if he doesn't get to talk to those close to him.

Iron deficient

If he had never been appointed as High Mage, he would have gone on to teach magic theory at the academy.

Geras

He may be immortal, but that doesn't mean he just sits in a room all day. Geras is endlessly curious, as this is a core part of his very being. Observing and learning new things is both his primary function and an endless font of joy.

He knows how lonely Liu Kang is. Knows that even he can't fill the void left in his masters heart. Time for him is just a function, whereas for Liu Kang, it is and endless road of isolation

Will search up humans in funny situations on the hourglass to watch. It's like his version of FAILARMY.

Liu Kang

Is and has been incredibly lonely for eons. He really thought he would fill the void after reuniting with his old friends, but the feeling isn't the same. They don't know him. Not really.

Once he found a way to connect to his Titan friends, he visits them often. Being able to talk with Lord Raiden again alleviated the strain on his heart tenfold. Reuniting with Kung Lao, (his boy, his bro!!) has also helped give him hope for the next few eons. Same goes for Kitana. (She was the one to find him again after the dust settled.)

His brother is alive in his timeline. Of course they have no relationship, Liu choosing not to intervene due to fears of drawing danger to him. Instead of becoming a shaolin monk, Chan lives happily in the united states as an Ice Road Trucker.

Shang Stung

Has BPD and narcissistic personality disorder. This severely impacted his ability to live peacefully in society and pushed him to grifting. Taking advantage of others was less exhausting than pretending to be a friendly employee to some shopkeeper.

He is half human. Shang's mother traveled to outworld during the last tournament 100 years ago. She was a servant to Liu Kang's champions but ended up running away with a disgraced Edenian.

Doesn't identify as a specific gender, especially after learning shapeshifting. Will often times swap between whatever he feels like that day.

Syzoth

Double jointed and hyper flexible. Shang Stung had to find a way to control him other than shackles, cuz he could always slip out no matter how tight they were.

He is very at ease around children, and falls back into dad mode immediately. Is also a purveyor of terrible dad jokes.

Has Gilberts Syndrome. His species use of bile/acid attacks puts a lot of strain on his liver. Due to his rough living, he didn't get adequate nutrition and now his body struggles to keep balanced out humors.

Only needs to eat once a week, but will happily snack if something tasty comes across his path.

Shao

Has no biological children. Despite his family's standing and pressure to continue the prestigious line, Shao has never taken a wife. Multiple concubines and bastards, but no wife or suitable heirs.

He doesn't view any of the young men and women he mentors as children, just tools. Even though he saw himself in young Reiko, his affection is entirely dependent on his loyalty. Reiko is more of an extension of himself, a way to overcompensate for what he lacks.

Has IBS.

Kuai Liang

He left the Lin Kuei a few years after Tomas was adopted. At odds with his father at the time, he left to go live with their allied clan: the Syrai Ryu. He was born a cryomancer like Bi Han, but chose to pursue pyromancy to distance himself from his lineage. Though able to wield fire, he is still weak to it. When he finally returned home, his father welcomes him back like the prodigal son he was. Bi han deeply, deeply resented this.

Got his tattoo in Hong Kong while he was totally plastered (not a reputable place. They even got the tattoo wrong lol)

Unreadable poker face. DO NOT play cards against this man.

Kenshi

Was forced to drop out of high school to support his family when his older brother was killed, and subsequently got wrapped up in yakuza shit. Has since taken his high school equivalency test (GED) and passed with flying colors

Is addicted to caffeine.

LOVES holidays! Especially Christmas. He may not get all his friends gifts, but the ones he does give are very well thought out and personal.

Bi Han

Doesn't take care of himself or maintain his appearance very well. But he basically won the genetic lottery so it's not that noticeable.

Has a type A personality and is a perfectionist. But he is actually a very gracious person at heart, and will silently shoulder the brunt of responsibility to spare his brothers.

Was happy to mentor Tomas when he first arrived, even though Kuai and Tomas had the stronger friendship. His attitude changed, however, when Tomas choose to stay after Kuai ran off. Instead of seeing the loyalty of Tomas's decision, he saw it as a shallow way to win his fathers favor.

(he couldn't see it was actually jealously. That Kuai could have a choice to leave but he didn't. Tomas had an actual valid reason to want to leave, but he is the one remaining? Bi Han has big feelings and does not process them well )

Quan Chi

Once he started losing his hair, he decided to go bald.

Much prefers to spend his time in the Netherrealm. His dominion there is near absolute, and he would much rather be in the company of those subservient to him. He doesn't see anything wrong with this dynamic, believing this the superior to mutual friendship. (this is laughably hypocritical given his relationship to Shang mf Tsung)

Indulges in all kinds of delicious foods. Sweets, fine drink, rare cuts of meat- the works. Even if he dislikes it, he will eat it anyway just for the sake of it. He made himself ill by eating an entire box of chocolate once.

Havik

Was born in secret to slave parents. They hid him from the government for as long as they could, and so he was able to live a relatively carefree childhood. Other's his age, and of unsanctioned birth, would be seized by the state and put to work as soon as possible.

Fierce passion aside, Havik is very introspective. When not fighting, he often sits in silent contemplation for hours at a time. Before his mind begins to degrade from the blood magic use, he would sit and scrutinize every action he took.

Unlike Quan Chi, Havik cannot bring himself to indulge in luxuries. He feels tremendous guilt given how many of his people are still unable to enjoy even the barest bit of comfort.

He leaves his dick and balls at home for safe keeping.

[gumballavocadoharry]

Letting go is harder than you think; Jack Chambers:

*Mentions of overprotectiveness, smothering, close relationships on edges, angst, a bit of a controlling parent (Jack), sadness, depression and some grief. And also some fluff with baby Roger and Jack's relationship with him.*

From the moment Jack's steady touch traced the soft smooth skin of his son, a deep bond formed. That day forward, his agape love for Roger never failed. Even on his worst days and moments, a harsh word or action never left his lips and would dare not to cross his mind, even for a second.

Looking into those spirited green orbs brought life into his own. The way Roger's miniature hands wrapped around Jack's lone finger sent a pitter-pattering of a throbbing heartbeat. No one could deny the special relationship Jack shared with both his children. But especially Roger. Likewise the same could be said for Alice and Susan.

Jack just had this complex relationship with Roger, especially at a time period where fathers were meant to be more tough and rigid in their demands of their children, especially their sons. But Jack was the complete opposite. He invested so much time, energy, emotion, money and even his own health- as did Alice- into his kids.

But he worked extra hard to install affection into Roger by setting a tender example in the way he made a 'man' out of him. The emotional attachment he had towards his little boy was shatterproof. The two were inseparable. It would be Jack holding Roger in his little sling and them exploring the world together.

Tummy time would be filled with laughs and tickles, as Jack would hold Roger up to the ceiling with his feet on his tummy and his arms stretched out holding his little ones in his own. The toddler would stare down into his father's playful eyes with ones of his own; the same frisky ones that he attained from Jack.

Then snack time would be made with yummy but healthy little foods that Jack would get Roger to taste test. Of course sneaking in the occasional ice cream treat for him too. Then of course diaper changes were made for Roger to feel better instead of fussy from the cool air and the full diaper that was swiftly changed into a fresh one.

Bedtime routines were filled with soft voices, gentle laughter, and a sentimental bedtime story and a ardent kiss would be planted to one of Roger's chubby cheeks or forehead. Jack would coo an "I love you," to lift Roger into his dreamworld for the night.

The bonding of father and son didn't end there. Baby Roger would be carried around in his baby carriage for a morning stroll around the block with Jack before he would send himself to work and allow Alice to catch up on her sleep so she could be up and ready for Susan. Jack loved Roger more than anything on this planet and never failed to show or prove that.

Late night cuddles from bad dreams, Kisses for boo boo's on knees, bedside worries for fevers and forbearance for turbulent tantrums. But all was done for love. Love that flourished within the two.

But the pangs were just beginning. Roger.....just didn't feel any uses for it anymore. He wanted more adult treatment, for Jack to loosen the umbilical he tied tightly to each other and wasn't about to let go either. So the eight year old started to rebel. Harder than he ever had before.

The tension of not having the measure of independence he wanted- despite most of it unreasonable- started cracking into an overwhelming gap between the two. To make matters worse, that harder Roger pushed, the more Jack would pull back. It wasn't just a matter of safety that concerned Jack and Alice....but it was also a deep rooted fear Jack had brewing inside of him like a loch ness monster that was waiting to sprew up from the depths of the lake and swallow up as many as possible.

That fear was a vivid nightmare for Jack......losing Roger. Not in a cynical, woebegone image of death, but in a metaphorical scene, drenched in a heartsick, forlorn dismissal of Jack from Roger. Him not needing his father anymore and thus severing ties to him. Just the thought made Jack disturbed. Sure, he knew it would be a selfish and poisonous excuse to use in holding back his child from reaching his full potential, but it just wasn't that simple.

Susan and Roger were his life. And imagining one without them just wasn't possible. He could cope although a bit herculean with Susan growing up. She of course was his little princess and he couldn't see her as anything else, but he still saw the mature young lady she was trying hard to blossom into. Roger on the other hand, didn't help his case. He wasn't as mature and still needed extensive guidance.

Roger saw things differently. He felt Jack didn't wanna believe that he was growing up and was choosing to see him as the little two year old who still wore diapers. He wanted more from the hollow bubble he was in and put more space between his father and started spending more time with his friends. This made Jack suspicious, so he didn't hesitate to question or even spy on Roger a little to see what was going on.

His V.I.P backstage passes were now back row seats with heads bobbing up down; constantly in the way of seeing the full show. Well Jack finally reached a boiling point. This time he decided he would be the one to take Roger and Susan to school. "Oh thank you honey, that would help so much! I have to get the whole shower set up for Margret. She's getting married in two weeks and I need to get a move on if I'm going to get all the decorations she wants."

Jack kissed his pretty wife's temple. "I'll see you when I get home." He grabbed his oak colored suitcase and made a dash for the car only a couple minutes before the kids. Pulling up to the school, Jack's eyes darted to the rearview mirror.

"Alright guys, have a wonderful day at school, I love you both,"

"Love you too daddy!" Susan pecked a kiss to Jack's cheek. "Love you too dad," Roger patted Jack's shoulder and tried for the car door. "Oh, I have some important papers I'm supposed to give to the heads office- a work thing- so.....I'm going to go inside with you."

Roger gave a scunnered eye roll before begrudgingly agreeing. The walk inside was on tenterhooks to say the least. The constant struggle of Jack reaching for Roger's hand and Roger snatching it away, raised tension in Jack, leading him to make a final grab and squeezing it a little so Roger couldn't let go.

"I like holding you hand." Jack said with a fond tone, only for it to be bitterly slapped away with a complete cold shoulder from his son. Upon reaching Roger's locker, Jack stood beside him; gazing at him with soppy eyes. He smiled to himself thinking of Roger's very first day of school. The little boy in a white polo shirt, blue shorts and a red baseball cap.

"Daddy will see you after school champ, he has to go to work. But I promise, after school, I'll be home waiting for you with a big hug and kiss and nice game of catch." A cheeky smile distended across his little face before falling into a hug with Jack's arms reached out. He smooshed his chubby cheek into Jack's puckered lips; smooching his little face all over.

Jack's thoughts disintegrated upon hearing the locker slam of his son. "Bye dad," "Wait, woah....what about your kiss?" An irked Roger only stopped dead in his tracks, becoming furious by the minute hearing the snickering of his classmates. "Raincheck." He gritted through his teeth. How could he be so clueless? Roger picked at his agitated thoughts, like an itchy scab that was trying to heal.

But Jack didn't take no for an answer. He followed Roger into the classroom and kissed his cheek while hugging him tightly. For Jack, it was a nostalgic moment brought back to life of the cherished memories he shared with his son. But Roger......well, if looks could kill, Jack would be 6 feet under and burned by now. Roger's deep umbrage made his soft warm cuddly skin turn cold blooded like a preying snake; ready to sink its teeth into nescient flesh, ready to devour it whole.

"Bye Rogie." Jack whimsically said, before disappearing out the doorway. Roger's stomach turned into this deep rooted knot. His lungs were running out of pressure and the phobia of not being accepted seemed to be coming closer and closer towards him like a fire that slowly burns the trail of rope that it passes.

He took heavy steps to his desk; head hanging low with affront and infamy. Roger seethed with odium at his father. The whole lesson, he wasn't even focused on the judging stares from his classmates. His mind led him to merry-go-round the spite he had for Jack's obsessive fidelity. Of course his overreaction lead to Roger producing scenarios to a diabolicalness movie scene in which a woman holds her lover captive out of 'love' and even kills him because of it!

Granted, Roger's overactive imagination would be the only logical reasoning for such a grim, monstrosity mental picture show to detail something so far fetched that even Roger had to laugh.

But the ferocious feeling of suffocation was nothing to laugh about. Even Jack knew his public display of affection was a bit over the top, but yet that didn't seem to shudder the excuse of closeness with his son away. In fact, everything reminded Jack of little Roger; his little baby picture of him playing on the swings, his first bowl of ice cream and the two little diminutive baby teeth that protruded from the bottom gums that counted as his first ones, were all a simple feeling of utopia that eroded inside of Jack.

"Jack, what are you smiling about?" The man hadn't even noticed his deep dimples were parading. "Oh, nothing...just this baby picture of my son." Frank nodded with a basked smile; body casually relaxed. "Yeah, I'll tell ya....you know my brother's son is already going off to college," The mention of any symbolization of growth make a deep shudder slither through Jack, like a sinister thought had entered his mind. "Yep....he's already picked himself out a girl too. They grow so fast, don't they?"

Jack gave a tight lipped smile before burying his head into the piles of paperwork at his desk.

At home, Roger had arrived only a little after Susan. She was already blabbing about the history test she had and how hard it was, while Roger only gave Susan reserved answers before marching up to his room. Jack had arrived with a huge family sized bucket of chicken from KFC. "I'm home!" He said, almost melodic. It only took him 2 seconds to realize Roger was missing. "I'll get him."

"Hey buddy!" Roger let out a repugnant low hiss in irritation of Jack once forgetting to knock. "Dinner's here, I bought KFC." Roger's head perked up at the sound of that. His stomach growled louder than a lion's roar. "So, what'd you do at school today? Anything fun?" Roger shrugged, "Same." Well that's interesting Jack thought. He invited himself next to Roger, wrapping his arm around him.

"Maybe one of these days, we could catch a game together?" Roger nodded, not breaking his gaze on the floor for one minute to look at Jack. "You know?" Roger only hummed a response; looking up to Jack's eyes finally. But they weren't full of excitement of admiration like they did 5 years ago. Now they were aloof and cavalier only agreeing to end the conversation. Jack panicked internally. So to ease his fear, he walked Roger down to dinner, hand in hand like old times.

Roger silently scoffed at this, unamused with Jack's attempts to bond. The dinner table was filled with happy chatter and comments from Alice, Jack and Susan. Roger kept rigid focus on his meal, only giving varying glances up from his plate and to Alice's eyes; as he was across from her. "So, Roger what's going on with you?" Jack had interrupted Roger's protest of silence.

Roger bit his lip and swallowed the remainder of the dinner that was in his mouth. "Oh, nothing really....I guess the highlight was Makie had secretly taken a ruler from the teacher's desk." Jack sweetly listened intently, not flapping his focus from Roger. He had this fatherly smile pressed tightly on his face. But Roger kept his attention towards Susan and Alice....he would glance at Jack.

Jack grated at this type of rejection. So he would buckle down harder and decided to fancy up a bedtime story for Roger; along with setting his pajamas out for when he emptied out from the shower. "Hey sweetie, ready for a bedtime story?" Roger pursed his lips. "Uh, may-"

"I've got Peter Rabbit, Goldilocks, Harry and the dirty dog..." Roger knowing he couldn't escape this, chose Harry and the dirty dog. Jack felt a sense of satisfaction from Roger giving into his distant act, but yet failed to mollified Roger himself into the same euphoric outlook.

Roger sat sulkingly a couple spaces apart from Jack on the bed in his cloud themed pj's. He barely even looked at the pictures, only looking astray almost with shame and spleen. Anger because of Jack smothering him; forcing him to retort to babyish ways as a pick in keeping him controlled; keeping Jack happy and content.

Mom gives me space, Roger thought, Why can't dad? Jack finished the story, but the charade didn't end there. Roger found himself being lifted into his bed, covers being tucked tightly under his nose and his teddy bear smushed next him. The topper on the cake was Jack's puckering lips being rammed into Roger's cheek; forcing the screeching whistle and loving hum of a kiss being planted to evaporate through Roger's blushing face.

Jack's lips were finally sucked off his boy's face and coupled with a cooing of: "Sleep tight teddy bear, I love you." Roger's face was soiled in a tight frown; eyebrows pinched in a deep dour. Roger ejected himself upright and aggressively wiped his cheek or any residue of Jack's love. He growled and turned over with a brewing bitterness, groveling around inside of him; ready to spew out like a jack in the box.

The anger only grew as Jack would be up at the school, delivering Roger's teddy bear hat because he "might catch a cold." Or making him hold hands with him while crossing the street and not letting him watch the new monster movie that had come out. The icing on the cake was when Roger caught Jack listening in on a phone call with Simon.

"I was just worried." Was his excuse. But it blew up into a huge disagreement leading Roger to call Jack "a possessive, overprotective busybody," and Jack hustling out a stern: "Don't speak to me like that young man!" Followed by: "I have a right to know what's going on and it's hard for me to trust you when you don't let me in."

It went back and forth like that until Roger stormed upstairs and slammed his bedroom door and Jack pounded his fist on the kitchen counter. Both of the Chambers men had irascible temperaments at crotchety times. Except, Jack's was a protective papa bear mixed with angst of just simply wanting his little boy back, while Roger's was of an angst pubescent who just wanted a bite of the outside world beyond the caves of his family.

In the morning, Roger darted out of the house at a premature hour and strolled to school with a somber tone to his stride. The damp sky allied with Roger's murky attitude; his hands in his pockets, slumped over lazily and looking at the ground in a rebellion to watching what was in front of him.

Which is what sent him bumping into Mila Murphey. "Watch it Roger!" Roger blinked, taken aback by her stern face. "Sorry." He trailed off before continuing to his locker. "Roger!" Susan hot on his tail came running up to him. "What's wrong?" He shrugged, "What do you mean?"

"You skipped breakfast this morning and left for school super early! You hate school, why would you do that?" "Look Susan, I just have a lot on my plate right now okay?"

Susan shook her head before diverting her eyes towards the ground. "You know....I can talk to dad if you wan-" "No! I mean...." Roger continued, "Just let me handle it. It's obvious dad's not backing down from this so I will fight this. Don't worry about it okay?" Susan felt this unnerving pinch in her gut. "Okay...." Her voice drifted.

Roger started away from his locker. "Roger wait!" He turned. "Before you go.....just know that.....mom and dad love us both very much...they're worried about you."

Suddenly the collar around Roger's shirt felt tight. Those words sunk in more than they should've. It wasn't until the middle of class when Roger realized he had belched from the house so fast that he had forgotten his lunch. He dug through the pockets of his jeans for any money for lunch. None. Oh well, there was always his backpack.

In fact, Roger didn't even feel that hungry anyway. His stomach was in such a tight knot that it would be for the best to not challenge it.

Meanwhile at the office, Jack's hair was practically falling out. His fingers ran through his hair so hard, that little strands would come out one by one out onto his desk. Jack's eyes went from the project papers laid out on his desk, to the family photo that neighbored beside it and finally to the clock on his office wall.

Why didn't Roger stay for breakfast? He doesn't have his lunch with him...is he being bullied? These were all thoughts that raced through Jack's mind like bullets in a race. But his mind was made up...on his lunch break, Jack would bring Roger his lunch. He couldn't conjure the idea of Roger sitting with nothing to eat in the lunchroom.

Jack thought back to when he was a little boy and he had made the same mistake. His father didn't even bother. "Well I guess you'll learn not to waste food now boy?"

Jack swallowed harshly recalling the lecture his father rammed into him based off a notion of a silly innocent human nature mistake. It took years for Jack to realize his father was just bitter. But as a father now, he couldn't even dream of saying such a thing to his children. Especially when they're starving.

But despite the well meaning intentions, the earlier gray sky, now had become one of cloudburst. Rain pricked the ground mercilessly making it impossible for Jack to do any food delivery. So Roger sat alone, nibbling off a half eaten granola bar in his backpack. Well, he turned back to his early ponder of not being hungry anyway.

Roger glanced over to Bryce Macmillan and his friends. A mixture of euphoria over the dream of adulthood and dread from the resistance of his father made Roger's stomach quack. The emotions were too much to handle as he was pressed face to face with the wrestle of breaking free from the smothering of Jack. He was underwater, unable to breathe in and out to ease the pressure of no oxygen.

The stress.....it all sent the boy into a bellyaching spiral. Claustrophobia set in and the walls became narrow and thick. The laughter of his classmates shot louder and louder.....then there was Jack.....standing on one end of the gym with a baby book and a sippy cup of warm milk and on the other stood and ferocious beast; fangs dripping to his chin, eyes harboring a savage stare, chest puffed ready to attack. It held the fear of falling fast, deep into the pangs of maturity: going out late, dating, driving, middle school, high school, being exposed to all the things he had been taught to avoid.

And then the floor disappeared; a big hole opening up, about to swallow Roger whole with only a tightrope choice of choosing Jack's hand back into baby land, or the beasts forward into a whole new world of becoming an adult.

The hole threw Roger in before he could make any decision and suffocated him to his demise. Blackness.

He banged on the invisible glass, screaming, begging for help. But no one could hear him....no one could see him....no one could help him. Bubble gurgled of Roger's breath being cut short and then sinking deeper and deeper with no one....Susan, Alice, Jack.....all gone.

And so was Roger. He was suffocated by the monster of his battles.

A loud sharp gasp shook his whole dream.

Roger woke up to the ground. He had fallen over in the middle of his egregious fantasy. Roger rubbed his head before getting back up and following his classmates back to class.

The walk home consisted of Roger holding his backpack over his head from the downpour. The rain pecked at his skin like a glass rain was taking it's revenge against the bitter heat of city. Roger's tummy growled incensed the longer his slow steps took one after another with each other. Upon arrival, Roger's eyes zeroed in on neither of the cars being in the driveway.

It snapped in his head that Alice had probably driven to school to pick them up so they wouldn't have to brave the cold winds of the storm. It had to have been 20 minutes until Roger's legs went numb and his fingers damp and sore from holding the backpack for so long, until the sight of Jack and Alice's cars pulled into the driveway.

Roger's stomach turned as he knew how angry they'd be seeing him stand there by himself. But...he didn't eat lunch, so surely his mind wasn't right from that. "I just got home." He blurted out. But of course, that didn't stop Jack from running out of the car and wrapping his suit jacket around him. Once the door was unlocked, Roger was ordered a hot shower and dry clothes.

Roger was surprised with his family's calm reaction to such a careless, foolish choice.

"I'm worried about Roger...." Alice helped Susan's jacket off. Jack nodded, "I don't know what's gotten into him, but I'm gonna find out." Susan let out a small sigh. She knew how hard of a time her brother was having with the whole 'growing up' thing and much it knocked him down in the dumps because of Jack's silent protests to it. But Susan knew well enough that it was just his way of keeping Roger close to him and not losing him to insubordinate friends or a charming crush.

Roger getting out of the shower gave Susan to march upstairs and set her brother straight. "Roger, we need to talk....at least before dad gets to you."

He scoffed putting his shirt on. "About what? And what do you mean before dad gets to me?" "I mean that dad wants to know why you've been so distant. You're not talking or being sociable...you're not like yourself Roger and even I'm getting worried."

Roger took a deep sigh, "It's dad...he won't stop treating me like a baby! Mom accepts that I'm growing up, but dad doesn't! It's a tug-of-war between getting him to accept that and....." Susan listened intently, "Or getting some of the older kids approval. I'm not basing my entire reason of being grown up on that, but it's embarrassing when you still have to hold your dad's hand everytime you cross a street at times," Roger continued.

"All I want is to be treated my age for once and I'm utterly sick and tired of dad refusing to do that! He won't let me be capable of anything and any little mistake I make, he uses that as ploy to add to his masterplan of making me his baby forever!" Roger sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands.

"Well, I can understand that Roger.....but I can also see dad's perspective," Roger looked up, "How?"

"Well.......you are his baby though Roger. I mean it's hard for anyone who's changed your diapers or fed you or wiped your face when you were younger to just see you as this adult overnight. And I think in some ways you're expecting that to happen." Roger scoffed.

"Roger, dad has put eight years and counting of love into you. He's always been by your side and seeing you reject him like that of course isn't gonna sit well with him-"

"Who said anything about rejecting him?!" Susan gave Roger a look. "You don't have to say it, you kinda just show it when you give him the cold shoulder or just flat out ignore him."

"Look, I know dad may have his ups and downs with this, but I can't help it if he feels insulted or takes my need for independence as a threat! He acts like I'm holding a gun to his head!"

"Roger, dad's not trying to be controlling. He was the same way with me, but....once he saw that I still loved him and that didn't change then he became more casual with it."

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. "Susan, I'd like to talk to Roger alone please." Susan excused herself and now once again Roger and Jack were forced to talk. "Hey," Roger gave a nod.

"Roger, I know that sometimes we face challenges in life that make us tighten up...for example, bullies. They can make anyone feel scared. And I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything......although I do have one question...who's Jennifer?"

Roger's gut grabbed ahold of his throat. "What? Jennifer?" "Is she a girl you like?" Roger's eyes blazed fire inside. He's never told anyone about a Jennifer.....only his journal.

That was it. Roger's vivid green eyes became ones of dilated fury. "Tell you anything?! You'll just go through my journal anyway! What next, bug my bedroom with some stupid baby monitor?!"

Jack blinked in shock at the sudden change in his son's demeanor. "Don't talk to me like that Roger, and definitely don't yell at me,"

"What about the way you invade my personal space? No one's obligated to do anything that extreme in the name of 'love' if that's what you're going to say," Roger hissed. "Okay, first off Roger, I do those things from genuine love. I love you and love spending time with you and talking....I want my little boy back,"

"I'm not your little boy anymore!" Roger said, through gritted teeth, "I've got my own life now, and friends and interests rather than reading Peter Rabbit or suckling down warm milk with cookies and having their 'boo-boo's' kissed or their cheeks pinched. I don't need my hand held with this super cheesy grin and these nostalgic memories of baby Roger doing this, baby Roger doing that...God, I can't stand that! You treat me like a baby and....I can't take it anymore!"

"Well I don't like my own son treating me like I'm nothing more but a nuisance in his life! I can't stand it when you ignore me, dismiss me or just plain old strategize to get away from me! And I know this has to be coming from those friends of yours and that girl too! Why else?!" Jack said that last part out loud to himself.

"See, right there! You can't stand the thought of me growing up so you blame everyone like I'm on this downfall when really it's you losing control dad! You're insulated at my having my own life and cutting off the dependence from you!"

"Roger," Jack warned. "Stop it!"

"It's my life! And you can't take that away from me!" Jack frowned even harder, "I never was!"

"You just say that but real-"

"I'M INSULATED WHEN YOU CUT ME OUT OF IT! NO ROGER IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME TO ACCEPT! AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? IT'S BECAUSE THE MORE WORLD YOU EXPLORE, THE MORE I DISAPPEAR! HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP SOMEONE YOU LOVE WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND SOUL?!" Jack put his hands over his mouth in utter disgust with himself for screaming at the top of his lungs at his own child.

But Roger still kept a rigid frown on his face, but not one of anger....more of concern and aghast. "Wow." He said silently. "I-I'm sorry Roger....I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Roger looked down, "Me neither......I love you too though." Jack rubbed his eyes, "Thank you."

"You won't disappear.....I mean....I'll probably still need you." Roger's lungs became heavy.....the floor became watery and the walls thick and small again. Jack looked sadly into his son's eyes. One minute, those eyes were filled with anger and frustration to how to express such a deep rooted sorrow in a way for Roger to understand.

The walls kept closing in, and the feeling of suffocation and rising waters hit Roger again...it was now or never. The beast and his father were now all waiting for his culminating decision.

"I don't really wanna grow up that fast," The waters still kept getting higher and higher..."I-I want to be treated my age...." Roger was drowning again, the beast swimming after him....claws ready to attack....

"I'm more angry at growing up then I am with you dad. And I'm sorry for being so stupid about it! I love all those things you do for me and I........I could never leave you behind. I love you too much to do that." The waters started receding. The beast now evaporating. Roger's eyes filled with tears that had now dripped onto the floor. The high expectations Roger threw on himself were just out of fear, but not a genuine want. He needed Jack more than ever during this time.

Jack threw his arms around Roger for a tight hug. "I know, I know," He cooed. "I felt that way too. But I promise....it gets better. And I'll give you your space....I'm sorry I read your journal and listened in on your conversations on the phone."

"It's alright dad. I overreacted." Jack kissed Roger's forehead. "Can I still kiss you?" Roger smiled and nodded. The two shared a long hug. "How about we get some food into that tummy of your's?"

The thought of food sent Roger rushing downstairs for a sandwich. He hadn't eaten all day. Jack smiled to himself before walking after Roger. The thought of Roger growing up didn't seem so tense anymore....out of anything, Jack was ready for it. And so was Roger.

*This one was soooooo good because it really highlighted the inner demons that both Jack and Roger faced.*

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 09/02/2024

Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More) Magolor's Shoppe - Team Kirby Clash Deluxe

Ripped by Bruh de la Boi, ChickenSuitGuy, circunflexo, Cosmic199X, Edgi, Ellie53, Jiko Music, Memmy, Pan Visuals by BobTheTacocat

Look alive, everyone - Season 8 of SiIvaGunner has now officially premiered!

It may be a bit rich to say as someone running this blog, and with such deep investment into the channel, but...Season 7 really did bring me back into SiIvaGunner in a way I never quite thought would be possible. I'd sort of just accepted with Season 4, Season 5 and Season 6 that the channel had found a new direction: one that I was still VERY much a fan of, yet not quite the one that had "sold" me on the channel the same way Season 1, Season 2 and Season 3 did. I felt as if I was missing that energy of just...sheer visceral excitement for the future of the channel as a whole from the later-year seasons. There was instead a lot of per-event excitement, tons of little events to enjoy and still fun to be had in speculation of what could happen next, yet that aforementioned optimism still felt like it...missing, for a long time. And funny enough - last I discussed that feeling in particular was with Patched Plains Fusion Collab, a rip that Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab very much seems to be intentionally aiming to evoke.

Part of the reason that Patched Plains Fusion Collab works so well for me, and indeed why Season 2 has long sat as my favorite in the channel's life, is that feeling of raw forward momentum it conveys - the excitement of the entire fanbase thankful that SiIvaGunner hadn't actually ended, distilled into an anthem of so many different styles cheerfully pushing us forward. It was that sort of progress that, back when they were airing, I felt was sort of absent from Seasons 4/5/6 - the SiIvaGunner AI was still running things, Wood Man was still off effectively doing sidequests, and though the rips had obviously gotten better the cynical side of me couldn't help but feel a bit sad at how - for a lack of a better word - "predictable" it all felt. And to be crystal clear: A lot of those feelings have obviously changed for the better over the years. I love all of SiIvaGunner's Seasons nowadays, and I realized eventually that the prior-mentioned cynicism toward the new direction wasn't as fun as just, appreciating and LOVING the stuff to come out from the new seasons for the excellence that they were. And funny enough, I feel like that exact mindset is exactly what made Season 7 work so well for me.

Wheras Season 2 is one I remember for its feeling of constantly moving things forward at a rocket-speed pace, Season 7 excels by doing the complete opposite - the Year of Grand Dad is, at almost every possible turn, defined by its sense of self-celebration, a sort of "Sonic Generations"-type of tribute to the entire channel's life. Be it with RIP² as covered in SING A SONG ABOUT HOPES AND DREAMS, the entire incredible April Fools event I've alluded to within Violet Snow Memories, a newfound sense of chaos clearly inspired by Season 1 as shown in Hidden Headtoilets (skibidi toree 2) - yet with Seasons 4/5/6s newfound touch for genuine quality arrangements as found in rips like Forest of Tears. And, atop it all, the long-awaited continuation of the storyline last progressed back in Season 2 with the Christmas Comeback Crisis' eleventh episode. With such an incredible smörgåsbord of content on offer, it feels damn near impossible for me not to consider Season 7 my all-time new favorite.

And that optimism for the Season, that optimism for the future, is why Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab struck such a chord with me, with its release just a few days ago. With Season 7's ending, the status quo of the channel has been fundamentally altered in a way it hasn't truly been in a long while. For the first time ever, the long-present side character "Joke-Explainer™ 7000" is in full charge of the channel - her most prominent role ever despite having been around since all the way back in Season 1. I'll likely be dedicating another Season 8 post in the future to talking about her in particular with the same level of detail I did back in Vote Responsibly!!, but the context I'll provide for now is that her theme song, Magolor's Shoppe, has been a familiar, comforting tune to many a SiIvaGunner viewer since way back in Season 2. To see Patched Plains Fusion Collab not only get a spiritual successor, but one building upon a character and theme we've long grown attached to, means something so much to me and so many others. The added visuals, of her doing her duty with adorable Kirby-themed artwork as textboxes, are truly the cherry on top of an amazing collab.

From referencing the very beginnings of the channel with an initial arrangement using Pokémon Ruby, to using familiar-yet-infrequent sources such as Thwomp Volcano and Snail's House (jokes "worth explaining", so to speak!), to perhaps even hinting at what jokes are to become even more frequent in Season 8, such as the GOAT of all new jokes I Show Meat - I was long anticipating what the official premiere of Season 8 would be, and Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab was everything I never knew I wanted. My excitement for Season 8 is perhaps higher than for any other Season in the channel's long history, and I can't wait to get to share that excitement with all of you.

[rhouxl]

Downton Abbey S3E5 demonstrates how a well-written death can affect the audience beyond the screen;

Sybil was a side character for most of the show, but she had her moments to shine, especially during the war when she was working at the hospital, which is pointed out by Thomas when they hear of her death. Thomas's reaction in particular is one that stands out in terms of how well-written the scene is - it would have been easy to have him be cold about the matter, considering his insistence that he doesn't care much about their employers in earlier seasons, or to have a mild reaction of vague sadness at most, but no, Thomas, who was until now always cold and cynical, sobs. He tries to keep up his facade when Anna checks on him, tries to insist that Sybil wouldn't have cared if he had died, only to sob even more when admitting - more to himself than Anna, really - that she would have cared.

It's an especially heartbreaking scene to watch when remembering that the only other times he had previously shown this kind of desperate vulnerability were when he decided to get out of the trenches, after he figured out the scam, and - and! - after the death of Edward Courtenay, an experience he shared with Sybil. The first two can be argued to be selfish, in the roughest terms, as they are about Thomas, but the latter two and the pure grief he displays for both someone he was romantically interested in and someone he pretended not to care about speaks volumes in terms of who Sybil was, and that even after she is dead already. It's fascinating to see the scene in this light, how 'even' someone like Thomas, someone with little regard for the upper class, was touched by Sybil's life and death to such a degree that he will openly show this amount of pain and general emotion over her loss.

Alongside Thomas's, there are other particularly touching moments in this episode as well, of course, with especially the reaction of Daisy - who had been in a bad mood for the entire episode - standing out as one that shows how the news break her away from her jealousy; Mrs. Hughes referring to Sybil as "the kindest being in this house" with this barely contained sadness and, a bit later, hugging Daisy for comfort as well pushes this further, even if Mrs. Hughes has been established as having a bit of a softer side.

All of these small details just in the reactions of the servants show how well this episode and the show as a whole are written in terms of how they handle difficult emotions and especially grief. The reactions of the people around the deceased are always so much more powerful in touching the audience than the actual death itself. Wonderful writing, here the same as with the deaths of Edward, Lavinia and and William.

[dragonagitator]

One of the more interesting time-travel-related wrinkles I've been thinking about a lot for my House MD isekai fanfic is about how both House and the author self-insert OC will be 45 years old, but House is a Boomer and my OC is a time-travelling Xennial / geriatric Millennial. (While most demographers would place me in Gen X, culturally I've always been much closer to Millennials -- being raised by a software engineer meant I've always had a home computer, and have been on the internet since I was 12 -- and I'll be writing my OC like that too.)

So there's going to be a weird dynamic where they'll have all the usual Boomer/Millennial generation gap issues despite being the exact same age. That's going to be a lot of fun to write (my OC will be introducing the phrase "okay boomer" to the team's toolkit for dealing with House's microaggressions), especially when the slow burn starts heating up.

Boomers were the last generation to be raised with the norms "you HAVE to get married" and "it's normal to hate your spouse" and thus they tend have a lot of really awful beliefs about love, romantic relationships, marriage, etc. that younger generations find super weird and sad. You can track this generational attitude change pretty closely in comedy and television. "I hate my wife" jokes used to be a staple for stand-up comedians, but you almost never hear them anymore because modern audiences don't find them relatable or funny. The "spouses who hate each other" trope used to be incredibly common in sitcoms, but now you usually only see it in dramas where everyone is awful anyway. Even cop shows and other murder mysteries are having fewer and fewer "the spouse did it" culprits.

House's cynicism about love and marriage is pretty typical for his generation. For a guy who prides himself on rejecting social programming, he actually absorbed almost all the standard Boomer norms about marriage except the very last one -- he believes, like most Boomers, that marriage is awful, it is normal to hate your spouse, etc., and his only deviation from the norm is deciding "well then I just won't get married."

My OC pointing out that it's possible to simply... marry someone you actually like... might be the first time he really hears and absorbs something like that coming from someone whom he can't just write off as young, naive, inexperienced, etc. I'm happily married IRL and my OC will have been happily married back in her own timeline, too. (One of the reasons the slow burn will be so slow is that she'll be grieving her husband for a while.) So she actually objectively knows more about it than he does and will not hesitate to rub that in his face.

It won't be enough to completely change his views (the Boomer brainwashing is strong), but he'll be slightly less resentful about it when the two of them have to get married to avoid being forced to testify against each other in court.

(House and my OC are going to commit SO MANY CRIMES, you guys. One of the ways I'm working through the "this kinda feels like cheating" discomfort of being happily married IRL but shipping my author self-insert OC with another man is by making my story a bit of a cautionary tale about what I might get up to without my IRL husband's good influence and constant admonishments of "no murder!" My OC is going to commit AT LEAST three murders in her efforts to change the timeline.)

[donnerpartyofone]

Are you related to the Donner Party?

No, but that would be a trip! I'm just very interested in cannibalism. Actually this had to be pointed out to me before I realized it for myself, I love horror media but I guess sometimes you don't see something right away when you're too close to it; like all of my favorite films involve cannibalism in some way or other, and my interest in it expands to include anthropology, folklore, criminal history, etc. It was the thing that would have most frightened me when I was a bit more sensitive and it still strikes me as the darkest most perverted form of deviant behavior. It functions as a metaphor for all kinds of things, I find the eroticism of it a little too obvious and easy personally, although you could make the same accusation of stories of colonialism and manifest destiny (RAVENOUS is an all-time fave); to me it's just the pinnacle of antisocial behavior. Like TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE inverts the archetypal American nuclear family by replacing the heterosexual couple who produce more people with an all-male clan who only consume people. That's very interesting to me.

When I was learning about the actual Donner Party, I happened upon a web forum where descendants of the Donners and Reeds stayed in touch with each other. It seemed to me that they did everything in their power to frame their shared history as an example of courage and perseverance and good old American grit, to combat the dark humor usually attached to it (ahem) and the more common understanding of their doomed journey as an example of now-stereotypical American hubris. It was kind of sad to see but I guess nice that they all had each other to defend against cynicism and irony. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be making this gross joke, but I'm not the first (I learned that was Robin Williams) and I'm sure I won't be the last. A story this old and this famous belongs to everybody, like it or not.

[patpranishome]

As a child, I had always dreamed of being someone's lover, a feeling I got from watching numerous romance movies, especially ones from the Bollywood and Kdramas.

But, as I grew older and older, I started to be more cynical about romantic kind of love. Why? Nothing much, I just thought that this kind of love was pointless. Having seen multiple marriages destroyed when the people involved used to laud their love for one another confirmed my thoughts. I lost interest in watching the romance genre because I couldnt relate or understand any of that.

Then, Bad Buddy came. Full disclosure, I did watch BLs, but only in the early years before the BL industry was as it is today. But, even then, I watched it like eating candies before dinner, delicious but not fulfilling. It was just a curiosity at that moment about the pairing of OhmNanon, but I'd never thought that even after two years that I finished it, PatPran was still consuming my mind.

PatPran made me believe again in love. As mentioned above, I was indifferent to romantic love. But, there's something about PatPran's journey that touched my heart and awakened the romantic in me. It was probably because I felt that they were real, that their reasons for falling in love with each other felt believable, or it was probably many other reasons people who were smarter and more fluent in literacy than me could explain.

But, one thing that really cemented my belief in love watching Bad Buddy was the ending. The ending in a way was bittersweet but for me that made their love far more believable and truer than any other.

You see, as I grew distant from romantic love, I grew closer to familial love. I finally understand my mother's words that at the end of the day, you only got family with you (found or blood, who cares? Family is family). My family had each other back. We've fought but, we do support each other.

Therefore, I relate so much to Pran. We love our mom so much even though they had faults. They cared for us, supported us and loved us with all of their hearts. But, Mom also had flaws because they were also human. Just like Pran, even though, she never explicitly said it, there was this burden of being excellent in everything that made me hate her a bit. But, at the end of the day, I still love her, and I will always choose her first.

When Pran chose to do what they did in the end, it was sad, but, at the same time, it meant Pat was up there with his mom. Pran would never let his mom go, but at the same time, Pat was also a very precious person in his life that he chose to keep even though it was hard. It was a choice that was hard to make and in another, more amazing world, a choice that would never exist in the first place. But, if there exists an opportunity to keep both my family and my one true love with some sacrifice, I, myself will gladly chose to do the same thing over and over again.

In conclusion to this very long post, I love Pran because of the way Pran loves others. He loves not many but all that he loved, he loved with his entire being. And because of that, I believed in love once more.

[shatcey]

23/07 (Silvio and Yoichi)

I remember when I marked birthdays in the calendar for this year, I was very surprised that two of my favorite boys had their birthdays on the same day. And I'm still in shock. They have so little in common, but for some reason the vibes of Leo are undeniably felt from both of them. I don't feel the same vibes from Alfons. Perhaps because he's not Leo…

A month ago, I plan to find something special for this day, they are my favorite boys after all (Al, you are my special, just don't tell them) and… couldn't. Due to the heavy workload and a lot of events… I just didn't find time to prepare something.

But I don't want to leave it just like that. This is a special day for my special boys (Alfons, stop it, I won't say it again)… And since I'm terrible at drawing, the only thing left is my words. So… Let's talk a little bit about 2d boys.

I don't consider myself as an person who easily impressed. Due to my age and life experience, I'm quite cynical and cautious. I read a few otome games before I found first Cheritz and then Cybird games. And I experienced a couple of "wow", but it was a pretty short impression that disappeared almost immediately. And despite all my efforts, I never believed in the existence of these boys. I never wanted them to be real.

But...

I don't know why...

Started with the "Mystic Messenger"… Han Jumin, whose voice actor (신용우) made such an impression on me that I started learning Korean, I noticed that some of the characters live their own lives in my mind. And they don't just live in my head… they somehow become real for me.

Both Yoichi and Silvio are actually one of those rare cases. I respect them a lot. Despite what they had to went through (or because of it) they are not just very strong in mind and body, they are incredibly talented and have already accomplished a lot.

I like their design. The color scheme, the details that make them unmistakably memorable. I like their voices, which go so well with them and which can no longer be separated from the images. I literally chose them for every event (I don't want to believe that there won't be any events at IkeGen pretty soon, I still in the stage of denial). And… they never disappoints me. So… as part of their games, they are also my favorites (Yoshitsune… I love you too. Damn, Gilbert will kill me if I don't say it… Gil, I love you too).

And despite how differently they behave, it's pretty easy for me to imagine them next to me in this 4d world (3d is space, and another one is time). Personally, it would be easier for me to deal with Silvio, at least snapping back for me is a completely normal reaction, I'm kind of used to mirroring people's actions. But I have no idea how to deal with constant flirting. Will I do the same? I don't know… I've never liked flirtatious people…

So for me they are not just 2d boys from the game, they are real and breathing, and no one can prove that I am wrong. This world is huge and there are a lot of people in it, so they're definitely out there somewhere. And don't forget that we also have a timeline… so maybe not right now… in the past or the future, but they are real.

And with that thought in mind.

I wanna wish happy birthday to two incredible people. Who left an undeniable mark on my heart and will stay with me for the rest of my life. I wish you sunshine over your heads and happiness in your hearts. I love you both guys.

(sulky Alfons) Come on… I said it already!

(angry Gilbert) No, you cannot harm them. I forbid you.

(sad Yoshitsune) Oh, no, bunny, don't be sad… What do you want me to do?

(Johann and Keiji look at each other and shake their heads. Have no idea what's going on here). At least some of you are normal…

I… I… I feel conflicted right now.

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