#it honestly feels like they felt a need to make him ‘good’ to justify his likeabilitybut it that point its just not him that is your oc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ticklishfiend · 8 months ago

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A Toy Smile (ATLA)

(lee!zuko , ler!sokka and ler!aang)

A/N : AAAHHH!!!! fixating hard y’all. it's impossible for me to be normal about anything ever. this one's got more story than the last one but i hope u enjoy anyway lolll

Summary : a day off at the abandoned vacation home and zuko has a lot to think about. though, it’s kinda hard to think about your place in the world when your friends are being annoying (and u still love them for that)

Word Count : 5106

hope u enjoy!!

Being back at his family’s old beach house was remarkably strange. Zuko kept getting flashes of bittersweet nostalgia, images of his mother building castles out of sand with him, just for Azula to knock them all down. Running through the halls in shrieks of laughter, getting chased by the tickle monster (his mother always had the perfect balance between her calm and nurturing nature, and her more silly and playful side. Feeling okay with play was something that ended almost immediately after she left his life), always before being interrupted by a stark glare from his father.

Zuko’s father was usually absent in these beach house memories, but that’s because even when he was there during their vacations (which honestly wasn’t often, he was usually off tending to the business of being an up-and-coming Firelord), he always stood with a glare that Zuko could still see in his head clear as day. Looking back on it, he was glad that Ozai was usually preoccupied during those old vacations so he at least has a few good memories left of this place.

Zuko pondered on it alone in the house.

The rest of the group were off at the beach, doing their own things. If he had to guess, Toph was probably practicing her sandbending right now. Maybe she’s teaching Aang, or maybe Aang was practicing some moves Zuko taught him earlier in the week. Zuko felt weirdly proud at the idea. He imagined Katara was probably soaking in the ocean, bending and feeling one with the water. And Sokka…Agni knows what Sokka’s up to right now. Maybe he’s fishing.

All he knows is that they’re probably keeping themselves preoccupied right now, taking the day off to do whatever they pleased. The group needed to keep their minds sharp, but not overworked.

Zuko could sort of relate to that, trying to keep occupied. It was at a much lower scale, sure, but when he wasn’t training Aang, he took to wandering the grounds of this place that felt distantly familiar to him.

Zuko still feels a little uncomfortable with the thought of hanging near everyone during an off day like this. He knows they don’t hate him anymore, but guilt and shame have become chronic pains he hasn’t learned to aid yet. He’s happy to help them, but hanging out on a casual level is something he’s still getting used to.

As he walked through the abandoned home, he couldn’t help but gaze at old photos, taking some out of the frame to burn in his hand. For some reason, watching the memory physically char and fall to ashes from his fire felt like a medicinal release in his system. He sat on beds that had been dressed by old maids years ago, untouched for so long and yet the sheets still had a smell that burned into his sinuses like a forgotten memory.

It was so quiet in the house. Every footstep seemed to echo. It was dark, too. Each flame he set gave light to the entire room and the hall with it. It felt right that this place had been abandoned for so long. Justified. It deserved to lay dormant with the rest of any happy memories his childhood had to offer. That part of his life was laid to rest some time ago, but revisiting it lit something in him he hadn’t expected.

When he suggested they settle here for a while, Zuko hadn’t thought too hard on what it would be like to revisit this place. It was obvious this house, these grounds, the beach itself, would bring back memories he used to try hard not to think about. That was only logical.

What Zuko hadn’t anticipated was the way it would make him feel about the new people he’s surrounded himself with. The last time he was on a beach with people he thought were his friend group, it was a disaster. Fights and arguments, insecurities thrown around like weapons of war. That used to be normal to him. That was just what a vacation was.

But everyone here was having a good time. Yes, stress was definitely high and in the air, everyone was still keeping their guard up for what they knew was to come after they left. But that didn’t mean good times came to an end altogether. Zuko saw how they still played and teased each other, telling stories at dinner and laughing when they trained. Stress was high, but spirits might’ve been even higher.

Walking through this empty house, he realized that’s what this place was actually for. It wasn’t just a house you stayed in away from your home. It was a place built for bringing people closer together.

And here he was standing in it, alone in the dark.

Zuko sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He knew he should probably go out there. They trusted him now, what was he waiting on? He’s allowed…fun. That sounds so gross. But it also sounds like something Uncle would be telling him right now. If Zuko was any good at impressions, he’d give himself a famous Iroh Special about the balance of work and life, the importance of close friends in times like these. But Zuko sorta sucks at impressions, so he’ll just have to imagine how good some advice like that would sound and suck it up.

He should probably go join them on the beach now. Ugh.

As Zuko walked out of the dimly lit house, the sun felt really good on his skin, warm and filling for his soul. He took a deep breath, in and out, as he made his way toward the beach. The sounds of splashing water and shrieking laughter filled his ears as he got closer, his bare feet now warming in the sand.

“Zuko’s back,” he heard Toph announce from her self-made throne of sand, a little umbrella over the top for shade and flavor.

Zuko made his way next to Toph, watching the other three play in the ocean. Sokka had Aang in some kind of hold with his arms behind his back, while Katara stood in front, doing something with the water that seemed to have Aang in stitches. Zuko was utterly confused.

“What are they doing?” he puzzled, sitting down criss-crossed next to Toph.

“Why, do you want in?” Toph teased with a grin, making Zuko blush and nearly start defending himself (for what, he wasn’t sure) before she interrupted his clear stammering, “Katara figured out how to tickle with her water. She can be a little ruthless sometimes, and I really like that side of her.”

Zuko just nodded, really not sure what to say right now. He felt so awkward, maybe this was a bad idea after all. He’d be better off alone back in the house, it was probably good for him to think about his past the way he was before. Maybe he should just turn back, Toph will notice but none of the others have even acknowledged he came back yet so it’s not like–

“Hey!” Sokka called out, “My arms are getting tired! One of you come hold him for me!”

“Nohoho! Just lemme gohoho!” Aang cackled, kicking the water but not doing anything to actually stop them.

Zuko sighed, regretting saying anything before the words even left his mouth. “Aang, just bend the water!” he yelled their way, “Did you forget you’re the Avatar?!”

Aang just kept laughing for a moment like he hadn’t heard a thing, and Zuko nearly smiled at the boy’s blatant silliness. But in a blink, Katara was suddenly lifted and thrown about ten feet away by a small but powerful wave, Sokka getting launched not long after in the opposite direction.

Aang shot a thumbs up Zuko’s way, so Zuko gave him a quick nod back. Real smooth.

“Wooo, that’s right Twinkle Toes! Show ‘em who’s boss!” Toph cheered like she was watching a wrestling match, throwing an excited punch to Zuko’s shoulder. He winced and shot a hand up to comfort the ache, but otherwise said nothing about it.

He watched as Aang launched a tickle attack of his own against the siblings, Katara squealing and using her own water to try and counter or block any of the water she could. Sokka threw his head back in loud laughter, having no way to defend himself and pretty much succumbing to his fate, screaming with his head above water.

Zuko felt weird just spectating like this, so he started fidgeting with the sand in front of him. He thought for a moment on building a castle like he had with his mother so many years ago, but that was so far from who he was now that he chose to keep it to himself. That can just stay a happy memory for the time being.

He looked up to Toph, who seemed content on bending miscellaneous sand shapes in her hand while she listened to them play.

“Why aren’t you out there with them?” he couldn’t help but ask. Zuko didn’t feel as weird around Toph as he did the others. He still felt awkward at times, but not weird. She was the first person here to really trust him, vouch for him even. She was strong and resilient and damn was she stubborn. Zuko really liked that about her, and even though she loved to tease, he felt comfortable having a conversation with her. That was just who she was.

“Eh, water’s not really my thing. I can’t see jack when I’m in the water. Well, I kind of can, if my feet are still touching the ground. But it’s sorta foggy that way and it freaks me out. I like knowing where I am, and in there I just feel all over the place,” she cringed, forming a little sand sea lion in her palm. “Why aren’t you in there with them? Is it a firebender thing to hate the water?”

Of course she’d turn the question onto him, why didn’t he think of that? Ugh, this was not something he felt like getting into right now. “Yeah, sure. Something like that.”

“You are such a bad liar,” she chuckled, chucking her sea lion at his head playfully. He grunted at the impact and dusted the sand from his hair while she grabbed another chunk to fidget with. “I don’t even need my feet to figure that out.”

Zuko sighed, bringing his knees to his chest to lay his arms down and make a makeshift headrest. “I don’t know how to just…play, like that. That’s not natural for me, it would just be weird. It’s better if I just stay up here,” he said, suddenly feeling very weirdly insecure and unsure of his words, “If, like, y’know–if that’s okay with you.”

She laughed openly at his hesitance. “Sparky, it would mean the world. I like your company! You’re funny to talk to,” she said, and her choice of words made him squint.

“‘Funny to talk to?’” Zuko questioned.

“Yeah, you’re always so uptight. And awkward. It’s really funny,” she chuckled, making him deflate a little. He knew she probably meant the best by it, but her bluntness will always take a little blow to his already fragile ego.

“Is that really the only reason you talk to me?” Zuko huffed, not even looking for an answer if not to just air out his insecurities a little.

“No, you dingbat. You’re really different from the others, it’s a nice change of pace. You’re stiff, and your heart rate might be faster than anyone I've ever met which can get pretty annoying. But you’re very real, and I like that in a person. If you have something you need to say, then you say it,” she paused. “Well, most of the time.”

Zuko sat in that for a moment. He’s pretty sure she was…complimenting him? Maybe? It’s hard to tell with Toph, it’s rare she ever gets sweet with her words. But he’s pretty sure that whatever she meant by that, it was supposed to be a good thing. So he’ll take it.

“Thanks…I think.”

“I know it’s hard but…they can be fun if you try,” she shrugged, forming a little sand-Zuko in her palm and handing it to him. He took it gently, worried it would crumble in his hand. But it didn’t. It stayed sturdy and solid, like a real doll. Zuko turned it in his hand, getting a good look at his mini-me.

“How do you…”

“Know what you look like?” she finished for him. “The others described you to me a while back. It’s probably not perfect, but–”

“No, no. It’s…” Zuko stared at the thing in his hand. It was small, pretty much the size of his palm. His scar was there, but that’s not what he was looking at. Zuko couldn’t stop looking at the smile on its face. On his face. How natural and meant to be there it looked. “It’s really good. You captured my essence,” he remarked playfully, sliding the doll into his pocket. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, Sparky,” she smiled. “Seriously. Don’t.” Zuko couldn’t help but chuckle at that, looking up to see Sokka dragging himself out of the water towards them.

“Teaching Aang waterbending was a mistake,” Sokka groaned, leaving puddles of water in his wake as he plopped in the sand next to Zuko. Zuko flinched, some water from Sokka’s clothes splashing on him when he sat down with so much force.

“Watch it, you’re getting water all over me,” Zuko complained, wiping droplets from his face with the back of his hand.

“Oh I’m sorry, were you the one that just got nearly tickled to death by the ocean?! No, I didn’t think so!” Sokka exclaimed, every big movement he made just splashing more water on a frowning Zuko. “I could’ve drowned!”

“Well that wasn’t my fault, so keep the water to yourself,” Zuko rolled his eyes at Sokka’s dramatics.

“You’re such a baby, Sokka,” Toph chuckled. “Aang took it like a champ. You don’t hear him complaining about a couple of tickles,” Toph cooed in a mocking baby voice, making Sokka squint in contempt.

Sokka pointed a finger toward Toph over Zuko, “I don’t wanna hear it from you. You don’t get attacked like I do!”

“Yeah, cause I set boundaries,” Toph grinned, tossing a foot over her knee. “You guys don’t tickle me cause you know if you even try it you’ll never have use of your fingers again.”

Zuko’s brow shot up at that, and he nearly smiled, but made no comment.

Sokka had no smart comeback to give, instead bringing his hand back in to cross his arms over his chest, pouting. They sat in silence for a moment before it seemed like a light went off over Sokka’s head, the boy perking up quickly and whipping his head toward–

“Zuko,” Sokka started with a grin. “You should help me get back at Aang.”

Zuko’s brow really shot up at that, “What?!”

“Yeah, he’d never expect it from you!” Sokka said, his smile wide and excited.

Zuko stared incredulously, “Did that water hit you over the head or something? I am not doing that,” he scoffed, refusing to look at Sokka right now. He is so stupid, what makes him think Zuko would ever do something so childish?

“Oh c’mooon, you said you were here to help us, right? Well…this would be helping me,” Sokka smiled a toothy grin, really hoping to win him over.

“Just ask Toph, don’t involve me in this. I’m sure she can do some…earthbendy thing and help way better than I could,” Zuko said, looking toward Toph for help.

Toph shook her head, “Nope. This is all you, Sparky,” Zuko could see her smile beneath the shade. He growled in frustration, peeking over toward Sokka.

“You can do it yourself then. Figure it out,” Zuko said, staring back off into the ocean. Aang and Katara were bending and splashing water at each other, their laughs and happy voices blending with the sounds of the ocean waves pushing and pulling against itself.

Sokka grumbled, falling onto his back in the sand. “Was just trying to see if you wanted to have some fun before we get serious again tomorrow,” he mumbled, picking at the sand with his fingers.

Zuko tried to ignore him, but felt a poke to his shoulder on his left. He looked to Toph and saw her just staring at him with this look, like she was disappointed. Or, maybe not disappointed. More like she was saying with her eyes, “Didn’t we just have a heart-to-heart about this two seconds ago?” He felt the doll in his pocket jab into his thigh.

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose like he often did when utterly frustrated. “If I help you, you have to do something for me in return.”

Sokka shot up, his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Yeah! Anything!” he paused, “Or, I mean, almost anything.”

Zuko clicked his tongue, he cannot believe he is doing this. “There’s some spices left over in the kitchen cabinet. They haven’t gone bad, I checked,” he peeked over to Sokka. “For dinner tonight, we are using those spices. No offense, but I’m tired of eating bland stew every night. If you grab those from the house…” he sighed, saying the words like they crawled from the pit of his stomach, “I will help you get back at Aang.”

“Say no more!” Sokka shot up from the sand and strut toward the house with his head held high. He was obviously very proud of himself for convincing Zuko to do something silly for once, and honestly, Zuko couldn’t blame him. He was surprised himself.

Toph dropped her throne back to the ground, the force of it shaking the ground under them as she stuck her toes in the sand. “You really gonna do it, Sparky?”

Zuko dropped his face into his hands. “I think I just dug myself into a hole.”

That made Toph cackle, and Zuko couldn’t help smiling into his palms.

–

The fish stew Katara was cooking smelled amazing. Zuko had forgotten just how much he missed the smell of real, seasoned food until he found those spices in the cabinet earlier today. At least he was getting something good out of this mess he’s got himself into.

In the living room of the beach house, Toph was proudly showing off all the sand dolls she made today. It was mainly weird shapes or animals she was familiar with, but everyone got a kick out of it.

“Oh, oh, can you do me?!” Aang practically bounced on his heels, clutching the Appa doll to his chest.

“Remind me when we go back to the beach, Twinkletoes,” Toph smiled, tossing a solid ball of sand to the ceiling, up, then down. “I made Sparky one, since he didn’t abandon me on the beach like some people.”

Aang deflated in guilt, “I thought you said you didn’t care…”

“I didn’t care, I’m just messing with you,” she grinned, throwing the ball at a quiet Zuko’s head.

“Ow! Hey, watch it–!”

“Show ‘em your doll, Sparks!” Toph said, the ball launching itself back into her palm. Zuko frowned, feeling weirdly embarrassed by it. He just sat there for a second with everyone staring at him, waiting.

“I thought you said not to mention it?”

“Well if Aang’s making commissions, he should probably see what he’s buying,” Toph said, clearly just proud the others were liking her art so much.

A little shy, Zuko reached into his pocket and pulled out the doll, holding it up for everyone to see. Aang immediately rushed over, not taking it from his hand but still looking at it really close.

“Woah, little Sifu Hotman! Toph, this is so cool!” Aang poked at the doll’s face, “Aww, she even made him smile!”

Katara barked a laugh from the kitchen close by, “Really taking some artistic liberties with that one, Toph.”

Everyone snickered at that, and Zuko couldn’t help but frown (unfortunately proving their case). “I can smile,” he said, shoving the doll back in his pocket. “Maybe I just don’t find you guys that funny.”

Sokka gasped, “What, do we not amuse you enough, Your Highness?” He said in a mockingly fancy tone.

Zuko knows he’s just teasing, but Sokka can really be annoying sometimes.

“That’s not it,” Zuko glared. “I don’t know, maybe we just have different senses of humor. But I can smile.”

He saw Aang glance over his shoulder to Sokka, who was lying comfortably on a pile of pillows. There was a weird, silent exchange happening between them that Zuko couldn’t pinpoint, but he was smart enough to know something was up.

Sokka sat up and looked at Zuko, trying a little too hard to look casual. “So…what does make you smile, then?”

Zuko raised a brow. Kind of a loaded question, if you ask him. “I mean, I don’t know. That’s sorta vague.”

“On purpose,” Sokka corrected. “I can think of a ton of things that make me smile off the top of my head. Like, uh…shopping!”

“Cartwheels,” Aang butt in.

“Sea prunes!” Katara called from the kitchen.

“Feeling the enemy crumble to the ground,” Toph said, way too casually.

Zuko felt a little cornered. This was hard for him, okay? Thinking of something like this off the top of his head was difficult when he’s spent the last three years with a resting frowny face. “Um…” he started, really digging into his brain for an answer. “My…Uncle was really good at telling jokes? They got annoying sometimes, but some of them made me laugh. If that counts.”

Aang really smiled at that, moving to sit next to Zuko on the ground. “That definitely counts,” he said, before shooting another look toward Sokka. Hm…

Sokka got up and sat next to Zuko on his other side, throwing an arm over his shoulder way too casually, “I think that’s a wonderful answer. But there’s just one problem…”

Zuko shot him a confused side-eye, almost shrinking away from Sokka’s touch. “Uh, okay?”

“I don’t think we’ve ever made you smile,” said Sokka, giving a small jostle to Zuko’s shoulder.

Toph snorted across the room, getting everyone’s attention. “You can be real smart sometimes, Sparky. I don’t know how you haven’t figured out what they’re up to.”

Zuko shook Sokka’s arm off his shoulder with a furrowed brow, “What are you talking about?”

She grinned, feeling through the floor how both Aang and Sokka were slowly inching closer to Zuko on either side. “I think they’re gonna tickle you.”

Without a second more to think about escaping, Sokka shoved his hands under Zuko’s arms, followed by Aang throwing himself over Zuko’s lap to wrap his waist in a ticklish hug.

Zuko shrieked, the sensation throwing him off guard so hard he nearly toppled over onto the ground. He would have toppled over, if Aang didn’t have such a strong grip on his waist, not to mention those fingers digging into his sides with a terrible, gentle accuracy. He was a cackling, giggling mess immediately.

“Nohoho-! Wahahait! Waitwaitwaitwaitwahahait-!” Zuko cackled, his eyes scrunched up and his smile wider than it had been in some time. He had forgotten just how ticklish he was until those fingers wouldn’t leave him alone, the digging into his armpits and the scribbling at his sides, it was all so…ugh, it was so ticklish.

“Tried to warn you!” Toph smiled, hearing Katara enter the room to watch while the stew finished cooking.

“Woowww, didn’t know you guys had it in you,” Katara remarked as she leaned against the door frame, watching with a grin. She pointed at the scuffle with her spoon, “I really expected you two to wuss out!”

Aang scoffed with a grin, having to use a lot of his strength to hold the very squirmy Zuko in his arms. “He’s not scary anymore, Katara. I mean, just watch this,” he said, before pinching at Zuko’s hips and making the boy squeal.

“Guhuhuys! Ahaha–wahahait! Hold ohohon!” Zuko twisted in his laughter, his arms sealed at his sides to no avail. If Sokka didn’t get his stupid fingers out of his armpits right now he was pretty sure he was gonna keel over and die any second now. From laughter or embarrassment, he wasn’t really sure which.

“Wait, wuss out?” Toph questioned. “Did you guys plan this?”

Sokka snickered, switching to just using one finger under each arm at a time, and somehow that was even worse. “Yeeeeah, I might’ve pulled a fast one at the beach. Sorry buddy!” he said, before, “Well, not too sorry. This is pretty funny.”

Zuko’s face felt so hot he was almost worried it was gonna catch on fire. Quite literally. “I’m gonna kihihill you twohohoo!” he cackled, finally gathering enough strength to push Aang off him, kicking his feet to make sure Aang kept his distance. But Sokka was unrelenting. “Sokka! Cuhut it out!”

“Ohhhh fine,” Sokka pulled his hands out, bringing one up to scruff Zuko’s hair for good measure. “Before you get mad, we only did it cause you looked a little left out on the beach today.”

Zuko wished so badly that Toph would let the floor swallow him up whole right now. “So your solution was to��do that!?”

“Well, yeah,” Aang smiled a little shyly, “It looked like you felt left out when we were playing earlier. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong…sorry if that was too much.”

Katara had slipped back to the kitchen for just a moment during their conversation, coming back now with a tray of bowls. She handed Zuko his bowl first, which he took while still glaring at Sokka and Aang. (Well, mainly Sokka. He could tell Aang felt bad, and Zuko’s not like, actually mad. Just so utterly embarrassed and shy that he doesn’t know how to express himself right now.)

Katara gave him a sympathetic smile. “They really like you. They just don’t know how to…express it with you, sometimes.”

“Don’t put this on me, it was Aang’s idea!” Sokka looked a little embarrassed himself, like he’d been caught saying something he didn’t want Zuko to hear. He took his bowl from Katara but wouldn’t look her in the eye.

Aang took what Katara said with stride. She always had a way of putting exactly how he felt into words. “Yeah, it was my idea. You’re really cool, Sifu Hotman! But, I don’t know…I never wanna make you mad, but I still want you to feel included, yknow?”

With a mouthful of stew, Sokka chimed in, “Wha’ he said.”

Zuko wasn’t sure what to say right now. He still felt warm up his neck, and all the eyes on him right now weren't helping. But…he also felt really appreciated? These people certainly had a weird way of showing their affection, but they were trying. For him.

Ugh. They’re so sweet it’s almost sickening.

“We won’t ever do it again. Just…know we meant well,” Aang gave a sad little smile before taking a bite of his stew. Well now Zuko had to say something.

“No, it’s okay,” he stared into his bowl. “Affection, and I guess play, are…sorta new to me. I don’t hate it. I don’t…mind,” Zuko cringed at his own phrasing. Telling them that he actually sorta kinda had a little bit of fun just now felt impossible. He sighed, “What I’m saying is, I won’t get mad if you ever do it again. I know you’re not being mean. And it doesn’t bother me. So. Y’know…yeah.”

Sokka squinted toward Zuko over his spoon. “So, you didn’t hate it…” he shot a grin, “...which, in Zuko Speak, means you had fun right?”

Zuko sincerely wanted to singe the brows right off Sokka's face. Because, unfortunately, he was right. Zuko bit the inside of his cheek, “If I say yes will you drop it?”

“Actually, if you say yes you’re just giving me permission to turn that frown upside-down whenever I want,” Sokka wiggled his eyebrows, making Aang laugh beside him.

Zuko could only roll his eyes and take another spoonful in response, which they all knew in Zuko Speak was a definite yes.

“Ahem,” Toph turned the attention back toward her from across the room. “Now that that’s over, can we please go back to talking about how awesome my new sandbending tricks are? I’ll be generous and take free commissions for the next five minutes, but after that you suckers are gonna have to start paying up.”

Aang shot his hand up immediately, “I call a tiny hat for Momo!”

“Ok, but how about a tiny sword for Momo?” said Sokka.

Katara giggled, “We could give him little sand boots.”

Toph hummed with a nod, drawing up plans in her head before pointing toward Zuko. “Sparky? Any suggestions?”

Zuko looked around the room, everyone’s eyes on him once again. It wasn’t a bad feeling, though. They liked hearing what he had to say, even if it was just for a silly game. Zuko was allowed in on the conversation; actually, more than allowed. Encouraged.

“Um…he could use some sand shades. Really bright outside, y’know.”

There was a small beat of silence, and for a second Zuko almost regretted joining in, before everyone burst into giggles.

“Momo’s gotta be beach ready!” Aang laughed, poking the lemur in the belly. “Toph, he needs sandals. He needs them!”

Zuko couldn’t help but smile along as they kept throwing insane suggestions Toph’s way, his cheeks almost hurting by the end of it. Every once in a while, he’d catch himself glancing around the room, taking in how different it looks full of good company. It was somehow brighter, obviously louder, and the air didn’t feel as tight. Even when they circled back to Zuko’s newfound ticklishness later in the conversation, he felt comfortable to tease back about how weak they all were against the spices he had Katara throw in their stew.

Sokka’s threat of future tickles his way kept creeping its way to the forefront of his mind every once and a while. And he wasn’t…not excited about it. It’s not the tickling he’s looking forward to, exactly. Although, every time he pictures that future attack, he feels the ghost of fingers digging into him again and feels a weird smile pulling at his lips. Zuko puts it back to normal immediately when he catches himself, but it was there, and he knows that. But no, no it’s definitely not the tickling. It’s not just the tickling.

Zuko’s glad they’re not scared of him. They aren’t scared to touch him the way they do the others. It’s different for him, and he knows he’ll have to get used to all this newfound affection. But that’s something he’s willing (happy) to do.

When the night was finished and he found himself in that old familiar smelling bed, Zuko pulled the doll out of his pocket. He traced its details with his thumb under the light of fire he lit in his other palm. Sand took another shape with his friend’s help, and made him smile.

At that moment he decided, that’s what he’ll do with this house. It doesn’t have to feel so dark and alone. Zuko can reshape it.

pls consider reblogging if u enjoyed!! love yall, smooches

#tickle community #tickling #tickle fic #atla tickling #lee!zuko #ticklish!zuko #lee!aang #ticklish!aang

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leikeliscomet · 1 month ago

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Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

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not-scared-of-microwaves · 6 months ago

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I am Jon's number 1 supporter. Everything he's done is perfectly understandable and reasonable. Yeah, season 1 Jon was a bit of a dick to Martin, but if you picked your assistants but your boss assigned this random guy to assist you as well, and this guy isn't very good at his job, and then you find out it's because he literally wasn't qualified for the job in the first place? And add that to the fact that you already know you aren't qualified for the job you've been given, so you need to do a good job and this guy is making that harder? being a bit of a dick isn't necessarily justified, but it's certainly understandable.

Of course season 2 Jon was paranoid, and honestly I'd argue that he wasn't "paranoid" because can it really be called paranoia if you're right? Since he got the archivist job, he's felt like he's being watched and his best defense was pretending to be a jaded skeptic, but it's been proven that being skeptical didn't help, and he got literally eaten by a sentient worm infestation's worms. While hiding from the worms that came for him in his work place, the dead body of his predecessor was found in the tunnels. She was shot, probably by someone in the institute. Things keep showing up asking for specifically the Archivist. He's been given multiple reasons to believe that someone else in the archives is out to get him, and in the end it turns out he's right--Sasha isn't Sasha, and Gertrude was literally murdered by his boss. "His paranoia wasn't justified" it absolutely was. No, Martin and Tim didn't deserve to be stalked, but considering Jon's been nothing but an ass to Martin, and Martin continued to be nice to him, and there was certainly someone out to get him, yeah, it was a reasonable concern.

Season 3, 4 , & 5Jon? Every decision, however stupid they seem, were perfectly reasonable when you look at how he was being treated. He considers himself a monster, and everywhere he turns other people are encouraging this view. If he expresses remorse? Oh boohoo the monster feels guilty. If he doesn't? Where's his humanity, he's just a monster. If he doesn't tell people what's going on, he's not communicating and people are mad about it. If he does tell people what's going on, then he's dragging them down with him and he needs to stop involving people. Basira blames him for Daisy, until he dies, Tim blames him for Sasha, Melanie blames him for literally everything and never liked him to begin with, Georgie cut him off because he wasn't trying to get out (not that he could escape if he tried), Martin's isolating himself for the Lonely. Everywhere he turns he's met with criticism and a lack of sympathy. Of course he's going to throw himself into the Buried to get back someone he sees as more valued and more wanted than he is--if you already hate yourself, and everyone else is encouraging it, you'd do it too. He blames himself for the apocalypse, he blames himself for what happened to Daisy, the list goes on. Of course he's incredibly self sacrificing--take an already selfless person, load them up with self-loathing and guilt, and the only thing you're going to get is someone who places everyone elses value well above their own, and is self-sacrificing to the point of self-destruction.

He's done nothing wrong and that is a hill I will die on.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #jon sims #the archivist

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triglycercule · 11 days ago

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would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)

i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself

which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel

and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)

a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc

and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to

i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)

#i'm sorry if this is like kinda not srs enough for this topic just know that this came from a place of genuine relation to horror #his story resonates a lot to me about my own personal experiences and the anger and betrayal i felt myself #and i just wanted to point out the similarities i saw 🙁#i think that maybe even without realizing it that he might feel replused at sex and especially the intimacy part #touching his eye socket or head wound is like reliving the entire situation over again and he does NOT WANT THAT AT ALL #its a part of his body that he cant just get rid of because it's necessary which SUCKS #the snarkiness that horror has against undyne even after 7 years is so real #you NEVER forgive your abuser in that situation. i know damn well that the grudge will continue to last on for many more years to come #one day horror and undyne might be able to make up and coexist but horror wont ever be able to TRULY forgive her #a part of you changes viscerally for the worse when you go through something so traumatic #and i think horror's outburst fits that change a lot. it seems almost sudden how quickly he goes from sans to horror #and even though he was still spiralling before the CORE he probably wouldn't have changed so drastically without a betrayal THIS bad #he better get the BEST potential ending in horrortale or else i will RIOT #if aliza doesnt save horrortale and give them all the freedom they DESPERATELY NEED #SAS pls SAS pls don't doom them even more than they already are thats all i need #this metaphor is made even worse with my idea that killer or dust pull him around by the eye or skull #probably not dust (when he's calm (when he's not all boundaries get thrown out the window)#but with killer probably. he doesn't particularly care about what horror wants or keeps to himself #if it gets a barely amusing reaction then sure whatever. horror gets unreasonably pissed anyway for someone who just got his eye taken #in fights they could make it a point to hold onto his skull near the eyewound as tightly as possible #just to make it HURT. dust wants horror to remember him with as much hate as he does for undyne #killer does it to get him to remember that moment except this time no he can't fight back. just to keep him in line #it sucks i know but this trio was never truly made to improve eachother. they were made to drag eachother down worse than they already are #tricule analyze #killer sans #horror sans #dust sans #murder time trio #utmv

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le-panda-chocovore · 25 days ago

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I told you guys I was going to write it

"No, you don't."

Toji's voice echoed on the walls and in Shiu's ears like an ineluctable truth. He stood still, arm crossed on his chest, staring at the middleman with an unimpressed look on his face.

"What ?"

"I said you don't," he repeated but it still didn't make sense to the Korean man. "You don't love me."

Shiu blinked and stayed silent. What was he even supposed to say to that ? What kind of rejection was that ? He expected many things from Toji, he honestly didn't think the man would accept his feelings easily, but this was more violent and weird than any scenario he had played in his head before confessing. He was so ready to handle Toji being on the defensive, claiming that he's not interested in men (despite them fucking every now and then, often after a job), that now he didn't know how to react to the man saying that he -Shiu- didn't actually love him. As if he was wrong about his own feelings.

It could be worse, Shiu thought. Toji could have laughed at him or called him a slur. That wouldn't be too surprising. Actually, that would be more realistic than Toji's actual reaction.

"What makes you say that ?" And, because the other man didn't answer the question, Toji felt the need to elaborate. "What makes you think that you have feelings for me ?"

"Huh," Shiu hesitated, because this was a weird thing to ask someone who just confessed.

It was embarrassing enough to fall in love with Toji Fushiguro -the infamous Sorcerer Killer- and it had been hard to gather the courage to tell him, and now he was supposed to justify his feelings ? Was this a prank or what ? Did he anger a god or something ? How did he even end up in this painfully ridiculous situation ?

"Well," he started and immediately looked away. Toji's insensitive stare was uncomfortable. "Hum, I guess I... I feel happy when you're around ? I mean, sure you're annoying, you're a sick bastard, but you still manage to make me feel better just by standing near me. I can't stop myself from looking at you whenever we're in the same room, I want to touch you and kiss you and talk to you. So... Yeah, things, like that, you know ?"

Toji hummed lightly. He hadn't moved an inch, eyes entirely focused on the man who apparently was insane enough to fall in love with him. Or to believe so.

Shiu was uncomfortable. He wanted to go home. He knew he'd regret confessing, he regretted having feelings even before talking about them. He had no idea what was on Toji's mind or what he wanted him to say, so he kept going, hoping that the man would finally stop staring holes through his soul like that.

"And, uh, when you smile... Fuck that's embarrassing- Hum, alright. When you smile or laugh it does something to my heart, I can't really explain it, but it feels good."

"That's it ?" Toji asked with a raised eyebrow. He didn't look convinced at all. "That's not love Shiu, you just find me good-looking, you don't have actual feelings."

Shiu frowned. He was getting frustrated and annoyed by that shithead's attitude. He didn't go through all stages of grief when he realized he was in love for that bastard to tell him he doesn't know what Love is. That was bullshit. He had spent a while wondering about his feelings, trying to hide them or deny them before finally accepting them. He wasn't an inexperienced teenager who didn't know the difference between finding someone handsome and being actually in love.

"You want more proofs ? Alright, let's go through this. I already started so I might as well tell you everything."

Shiu sighed and silently prayed to not blush while declaring all the cheesy thoughts he had about that motherfucker.

"I learned your favorite dish, and your favorite drink, and your favorite TV show too. I even learned how to cook it so you can eat it when you're staying at my place. I hesitated to buy something for your birthday, but you don't like celebrating it so I didn't do it. I also bought XXL clothes so you have something to wear when you come here unannounced and decide to stay a few nights. I actually want you to stay every night, and every day. I want to take you on a date, hold your hand when we're outside, share some food in a shitty restaurant because why not, go watch a movie and fall asleep against your shoulder cause the movie would be boring. I want to kiss you even when we're not fucking. I can't get enough of your lips, I want to taste them every hour of each day and to call you with a stupid petname because you're adorable and I fucking love you. And this is stupid, I don't even know why I'm talking so much, but you're doing this to me and I'm not going to pretend these fucking feelings don't exist."

He took a deep breath after blurting out all of this and tried not to think about how much he wanted to bury himself in the ground. He couldn't look at Toji, but he could feel that the killer was still staring at him.

"That doesn't mean anything," Toji retorted dubiously. "I feel that too and I'm not in love with you."

Shiu blinked.

"What ?" He turned his eyes toward the man. "What the fuck do you mean, you feel the same ???"

Toji sighed as if it was a stupid question. Shiu wanted to punch him because he was clearly not the one being stupid right now.

"Well, what you just said," he waved vaguely at Shiu. "That's what I feel when I'm with you. The heart thing with your cute smile and wanting to touch you 'cause you're warm. And your place is nice, there's good food and hot water, I wanna stay too. But since I don't have feelings, it means you mixed up love with something else."

Shiu stared with his eyes wide open. He opened his mouth, closed it, breathed deeply, and opened it again. Toji chuckled quietly, he thought he looked like a very confused fish.

Shiu was indeed confused. Confused about how the hell did that grown ass man not realize that he was madly in love too. He just said he felt the exact same thing, and he dared to claim he didn't love him back ? That better be a prank.

"...You find me cute ?"

Toji shrugged.

"Yeah, sometimes." He said that as if it was normal. Shiu wanted to kiss him. And punch him too, but perhaps after making love passionately with that huge dumbass.

"And you'd like to stay at my place ?"

"You cook well, and your bed is comfortable. Better than mine."

"What about holding hands and kissing ?" Shiu tried, confused but hopeful.

"Yeah yeah, I told you, it's all the same ! Well, maybe not the clothes things cause I don't have money to spend on it, but sometimes I take your stuff home cause it has your smell and I like that."

"..."

He didn't even have the words to explain to him how not normal what Toji just said was. He stared. The bastard stared back.

The problem was pretty clear to Toji, and it wasn't really a problem since he managed to solve it in two minutes. There was nothing to worry about. They didn't need to stop their little coworker with benefits arrangement and Toji was quite happy with that. He also found it kinda funny that Shiu really believed he caught feelings. The middleman liked to pretend he was the mature and smart one but sometimes he was really dumb.

Toji understood how Shiu felt toward him, like he said it was exactly the same on his side. If it was like Shiu said, that'd mean that Toji had feelings too, which was completely ridiculous. Toji wasn't a romantic man, but as far as he knew, love was more like . . .

Since they felt the same thing then-

And Toji knew he wasn't-

Which meant-

...Oh.

Well, fuck.

Maybe Shiu did love him after all.

#tojishiu #mini fic #jjk fic #fushiguro toji #kong shiu #jujutsu kaisen #shiutoji #jjk toji #jjk shiu #jjk #toji x shiu #Toji being a dumbass who doesn't realize his feelings unless Shiu shoves them down his throat is now my favorite trope #you have to imagine that after the “as far as he knew love was-” there's a session of short flashbacks of what Toji admitted feeling #and all the cute moments they spent together being flirty and all #and Toji opens wide his eyes and loses his serious stance and feels his heart panic before the “Oh.”#(peak comedy)#pandas can write

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morurui · 6 months ago

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CHAOS THEORY SPOILER REVIEW

Cause I just finished it and I have thoughts!

Sooooo I honestly have mixed feelings about Chaos Theory if I’m going to be honest I feel like there are some things that worked in my opinion and some things that didn’t really work for me so I’ll be separating this review into three parts: Things I liked, Things I wasn’t a fan of, and General thoughts.

Things I liked:

-The animation was absolutely gorgeous, it was such a step up from Camp Cretaceous that it’s weird to think that they’re apart of the same series. The team behind it did an absolutely amazing job!

-The last two episodes. Oh my god were those last two episodes so good, they had me at the edge of my seat as well as episode 10 finally giving us interactions between the entirety of the nublar 5

-YASAMMY. I think yasammy was done so well this season. Their fight was so real, nobody was totally in the wrong, but they both weren’t communicating their feelings to each other well and they resolved it in the end. It was just perfect

-Yasmina Fadoula. She was written so well I loved how they didn’t just completely forget she has PTSD and anxiety and included that in her character arc for this season. I also loved how they used her to address how bad it is to infantilize those with mental disorders. (Yaz and I are anxiety twins 🧘‍♀️)

-Mateo. The GOAT. I am the number one Mateo fan, dont ever forget it. I love that man and I will stand by him, I was stressing for his life during episode 10.

-Microbang villain girl was such a menacing villain at the end and I honestly love her. It’s clear that while she is using the atrociraptors for evil deeds she does clearly care for them. I desperately need to know more about her…

-Kenji and Brooklynn’s new voice actors do such a good job with the characters and while I’ll miss Jenna and Ryan, their new voices were casted very well!

Things I wasn’t a big fan of:

-Now to address the elephant in the room…Darius being in love with Brooklynn. (I’m going to try to look at this through an objective pov, but since I don’t ship dinostar obviously there’ll be a slight bias)(nothing wrong if you do ship Dinostar I’m happy for you, but these are just my feelings) Im not a big fan of this. To me I’ve never really read Darius and Brooklynn as being romantic together and their friendship is something I truly cherished about JWCC. I do see why they probably decided to make the decision to have Darius be in love with Brooklynn, but to me it’s kind of upsetting in a way to have Darius’s extreme grief response not be just because they were best friends. It feels like the writers were saying “Well, he’s not experiencing this grief so hard because she was his best friend, but it’s actually because he loves her!”. We’ve seen loss be something Darius takes extremely hard (His dad’s death and Ben’s death) and so I don’t really see why they made it so he was in love with her to justify his response when it’s in character without it. Idk man…

-Brooklynn being alive….HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I HATE BROOKLYNN SHES ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. But idk these fake out deaths are starting getting to wear me down. Even Bumpy had a fake out death 😭. I get why they kept her alive being as she is a beloved character, but I just think it would’ve been better for her to be a character that somewhat haunts the narrative. It adds more onto the mystery, not only that but it allows the nublar five to explore “Hey our friend was hiding things from us and we’ll never truly get answers, but we’re going to find out what lead to her death and put a stop to it”. Which was what the nublar five are on a path to, until Brooklynn inevitably shows back up and explains everything. Also why did they give her the 2017 Katy Perry haircut…

-Kenji and Darius’s dynamic. I loved how they used their dynamic at the beginning of the show with Kenji blaming Darius for Brooklynn’s death, but beyond that moment their dynamic felt off to me. It was not helped by the whole Darius being in love with Brooklynn thing, but it just felt like they toned down their brotherly bond in this show (ironic since this is the first time we see them call themselves brothers)

General thoughts

-Jesus Christ was Kenji this shows punching bag 😭. He literally does not get a break, it just keeps on coming, breaking up with his girlfriend because she’s not invested in their relationship anymore, living in a trailer with a failing rock climbing business, his girlfriend kept secrets from him all while working with his estranged dad behind his back, his dad trying to use him again and then dying saving him, AND his brother was in love with his ex girlfriend. All in the span of ten episodes. If I was him I would have a mental breakdown every single day.

-Do yall think Ben actually has a girlfriend? I’m like at a 70/40 split, because he only talks about her two times and the first time he brings her up she totally sounds fake. “She’s from…Europe” Why did you have to think so much Benjamin? Also he fully just said she’s from the continent of Europe rather than a specific country in Europe. Also also it’s implied he hasn’t had a phone on him for a while so how does a long distance relationship work if he doesn’t have any means to contact her??? And he doesn’t even have a picture of her in his van. That man is hiding something I need to know…

-Ben and Darius had like 30-40 minutes of screen time shared between them, which is weird because like most of the show was marketed with them being the main protags and they barely interact beyond episode 4. (Their dynamic was too strong for people to handle “do you talk to your mother with that mouth” broke the world)

-Bumpy having a baby is something I predicted and I’m happy I was right!

Anyway that’s really it, sorry this was pretty long and excuse any typos or grammatical errors, but these were just some of my thoughts!

#jwct spoilers #chaos theory spoilers #jwcc #jwct #camp cretaceous #chaos theory #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world chaos theory #ben pincus #darius bowman #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #kenji kon #brooklyn jwcc #mor posts

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m4rs-ex3 · 6 months ago

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it's honestly amazing to me that, despite having a good long while to digest it, despite it being in the past, despite my own self deciding that it was for the better, i can hardly think about rayla being gone. hell, maybe i'm just far too emotionally invested in these characters (ok make that "definitely"), but god it hurts. it hurts. thinking about the way callum lost two years of his life to the misery of not knowing and the pain of knowing that she was out there, somewhere, but not with him. the way rayla spent two years of her life digging herself even deeper into her self-harming and only-knowing-pain ditch without anyone to stop her and now she needs help more than anything but doesn't know how to get it. the way they both had to just live their lives, feeling sadness and longing and anger for themselves and each other, but they had to reason with it in order to survive, had to justify it. the way they probably felt like they didn't even have lives, that the rest of those lives would be permanently fucked up and they were just supposed to accept that. the way they fell so hard and fast that the lasting injuries hit even harder. they way they were just beginning to find themselves with each other, and now they don't know who they are. just. it's like a permanent ache in my chest and i'm literally just a fucker who likes a cartoon show.

#woah ok what happened there #we're supposed to be feeling all of the GOOD rayllum feels right now i don't. i don #get the grippy socks away from me i'm fine guys i swear #rayllum #callum #callum tdp #tdp callum #rayla #rayla tdp #tdp rayla #tdp #the dragon prince

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astheworldgoesonitswickedway · 2 months ago

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Get ready for yet another analysis of Count Olaf's behavior. Every time I make one of these I feel like I have to explain that I'm not justifying his actions but there's just so much complexity to him. Especially for someone who hides behind so much shenanigans. And honestly, the man is a psychopath, right, and he's one of the most chaotic fictional characters i can think of. The reason he is so interesting is because a character so chaotic and careless of his own well-being, doesn't usually last long enough to allow us a deep analysis of their unhinged behavior. Speaking of, let's talk about the way Olaf repeatedly tries to murder the Baudelaire children in drastically horrific ways such as decapitation, only to occasionally try to preserve their lives and keep them. Ok so, we know he needed at least one for the fortune, but that excuse doesn't explain all his behavior. Especially considering how rich Esme was, he didn't even need the fortune. There's definitely an element of being obsessed with the chase, he thrives on it sure. But how about his attempts at making them his henchpeople? I offer two reasons for this contradiction and he's so messed up, maybe both apply. I propose that 1. He believes corrupting them and making them his slaves is the best way to get revenge on their parents/corrupting them would make it easier to convince himself that becoming a monster wasn't really his fault. And 2. in a manner of speaking, he becomes attached. As far as corrupting them goes, he accepted their "help" without hesitation in the Penultimate Peril because it made sense to him they would be as disillusioned as he was and want to lash out. He thinks they HAVE been corrupted, and he's pleased. Yet, just before this, in the books, the children use their skills for him for once, and he is openly impressed by the things he previously mocked them for. I think he was secretly impressed the whole time, always wondering how they pulled off these unlikely escapes. They lost their parents, just like he did and he knows what that feels like. Its not confirmed whether it was by Olaf's hands but i hold to the idea that he was at least involved. Maybe a small part of him feels responsible for making them feel the way he felt. They've experienced horrible things, definitely by his hands, but they stuck to their principles. Sure this is part of why he hates them, it frightens him. If he recognizes they are right, its the same as recognizing he is wrong. It means in a way, they are stronger than him and he desperately wants to prove they are wrong and he is stronger. But I think a tiny piece of him can't help but admire them too. Later, in The End, he accepts them as his henchpeople strangely quick, and constantly repeats that offer despite their disinterest. Yes, he no longer has any henchpeople, but the Baudelaires have never been conformable to his wishes, it doesn't make sense to try so hard to keep them just because he needs new "employees." The harpoon incident is a good example of his attachment to them. Its slightly different between the book and show because the book indicates Olaf would have forced himself to go through with it and in the show he stands down. When finally given the opportunity to kill them easily and all at once, he struggles and cannot do it. Proving that at some point, he changes his viewpoint and doesn't REALLY want to kill them. He was relieved when they turned out to be alive in the Slippery Slope, even if he tried to play it off as being about the fortune. Which I know, its about THAT fortune, on "principle" but still. By the end of the show, he has changed his priorities from killing the children to keeping them. Don't get me wrong, he would have been horrible to them. But I think his plan was to do to them what his mentors did to him. As a side note, I love that as Olaf begins to associate himself with them, it works vice versa. They wonder if they ARE becoming as bad as him. Which is kinda sad to read/watch, because, of course they aren't. Don't you just want to reassure them?

#a series of unfortunate events #lemony snicket #count olaf #v.f.d.#violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #sunny baudelaire

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dirtytransmasc · 8 days ago

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Thoughts on slico?

honestly? I'm still oscillating loving him and needing to bash his head in at a very rapid pace, because that's just the character he is. and I started rewatching season 1 last night so.... my thoughts and feelings are all over the place.

but, the thing that I most steadfastly stand by, is the fact that he attempted to keep his promise to Felecia.

now. he fucked that shit up for a hot minute. he was blinded by his hatred and pain and anger towards Vander— which the anger itself, I think was justified. I understand why Vander was angry, considering Silco's actions for their people killed, got Felecia killed, orphaned her daughters. but Silco was trying to fight for Zaun. he lost his friends too. he was scarred too. and to be cast away so violently, and never hear a word from Vander's mouth (cause I'm assuming that letter meant that Vander never actually tried to have a conversation with him, at least, not until after it was too late). so I get why Silco was angry and turned away from his brother —and let that hate spill onto the girls. I think it goes without saying that taking out violent anger on little girls years after the fact, when they had no hand in what happened to you, is not justified.

in his rage, he forgot his promise. abandoned it in a ditch. and he was a little bitch for that. he was ready and willing to kill Vi and Powder just to get back at Vander. he had no care for those girls.

but you can see the very moment he remembered. when he pulled the knife back from view and looked down at Jinx crying. he remembered, and a war took place in his mind. does he stick to his promise or his anger?

and he chose his promise when that little girl clung to his chest. his niece. the youngest daughter of a friend he lost so long ago. clung to him. crying from the same pain he felt when Vander abandoned him.

and after that, he, in his head, which was superbly fucked beyond doubt, he thought he was keeping to it.

he was protecting Jinx the only way he knew how. and that was to change her. to make her someone people like Vi and Vander couldn't hurt. to kill Powder, so she could thrive as Jinx. and he, again, in his own fucked up way, was doing what he thought was best for Zaun.

I almost entirely disagree with his methods, but I acknowledge he was keeping his promise in his own way. he was being the best father he knew how to be. he was protecting Jinx the best he knew how to. he was fighting for a world where Zaun was a better place, though, being a good place, got lost along the way, in place of Zaun having power.

Silco was too jaded and sardonic and scarred and angry to be a good father or leader or rebel. he was corrupted. so trying to look at him from a moral lense isn't really an option if you want to understand him. but if you look at him through his set of morals and ideals and such, while it doesn't make him a better person, you can see that protecting Jinx and bettering Zaun are still at his core.

so. I don't know. I hate him and I don't. his world view is so fucked. the way he ended up trying to "fix" things was fucked. but I will give him that one thing; he tried to keep his promise, sorta.

#he makes me want to bash my head in #he's really a nightmare #I love him tho. still. I think. maybe. depends on the day really l.#like I get him. but I also don't. and I think he's stupid.#so.#those are my thoughts #Powder reminded him of thet promise and he never let himself lose sight of it again. whether or not his execution was good or not #(it wasn't. not by a long shot)#arcane silco #silco #silco and jinx #silco arcane #arcane #arcane season 2

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tzilatza · 9 months ago

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NATLA Review - spoilers

Woke up today still feeling annoyed after finished the Netflix ATLA remake last night, and I think I've figured out the core reason.

It's the fact that: If they had held truer to the original source material, we could have had a truly great show. I disagree with those calling it a complete disaster. The acting was good, great in some cases. The effects were very well done, the bending looked about as good as it can in a live action media. The scenery was lovely.

But what happened in the writer's room?! The way they just reveal all the back stories up front EVERY TIME is honestly insulting to the audience. It's like they're so terrified that smartphone culture has made the public so accustomed to instant gratification that they have no faith we will stick around and keep watching if they make us wait for anything.

They're also clearly terrified of complexity. One of my biggest gripes with this remake is Jet's story. They completely took out his plans to murder a whole town of innocents in order to get a few enemy soldiers. Now, Jet isn't my favorite character, but his story is so important. Because it is real. The world is full of people who have been so brought down by injustice that they lose their sense of right and wrong, and we need to see that on screen. If Jet is too complex for them, how will they handle Ba Sing Se in the second season.

This goes along the same lines as removing Sokka's sexist moments. They felt they had to do it to make him more 'likable.' Yet the writers themselves went full sexist on Katara's character. They've taken out so much of her spark, her righteous and justified anger, and they've done it because even in 2024, people expect women to be more passive to be palatable. Enough people have already commented on them removing Aang's choice to run away. Heaven forbid the main character not be an absolute paragon. Did y'all notice that they even made Hahn likable? Hahn?! What reason do you have for making Hahn likable Netflix?! His role in the narrative is to be an example of toxic masculinity that is clearly the bad choice compared to Sokka who has learned and grown out of his own.

Don't even get me started with what they're doing with the fire nation family, I'm not ready to tackle that. In general, I have no problem with Azula getting a little more backstory and humanizing, but why season 1? Throwing in all these extra scenes just sacrifices screen-time where they could've actually fleshed out the real season one plots instead of rushing through things at breakneck pace. (ex: Aang escaping Zuko's ship in about 2 minutes flat)

At the end of the day, the scenes I most enjoyed were those that held true to the original like the Blue Spirit sequences. They could've easily done more of this, held onto the important plot points and even more important character complexity, while maturing it for an adult audience. I'm not disagreeing with every change they made. Go ahead and take out the silly Nickelodeon gags, add cussing and more realistic violence to get your mainstream viewers. Go ahead. They could've easily made a darker more mature version of the show and still held onto all the old fans in my opinion. But claiming that you're making a 'more mature' version and then removing the complexity and subtlety because they didn't think viewers could handle it...

What makes me most sad is that there are a lot of people who will experience ATLA for the first time through this show. There are a lot of adults who are not willing to watch original ATLA because they refuse to acknowledge an animated series can be anything other than a kid's show. Those people will watch this and think it's the real deal, and that just makes me sad.

If you've read this far, a very sincere thank you for listening to my rant. If you're an OG fan who enjoyed it, I have no problem with you. It was a fun watch, I was just hoping for more. If you are a new viewer who has never seen ATLA before, I sincerely want to hear your opinions. Is it a great show to someone who isn't holding it against the context of the original? And do you plan to watch the original now?

#natla #natla spoilers #live action atla #live action avatar #netflix avatar #netflix avatar review #avatar the last airbender #atla

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anonzentimes · 8 months ago

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You're one of my favorite people on here, I love komaeda so much, oh my god

infodump about whatever you want about komaeda NOW!! (if you want, you dont actually have to)

RAGGG!!!!! you're so so sweet oh my gosh ❤️❤️ Sure i'll talk about komaeda! I'll just say what I've been thinking about specifically today.

I was thinking about the fact that Nagito can suppress sides of him today, when he needs to he's able to suppress some of his personality for people. I think the reason Nagito is "normal," before his freakout is not only for the plot twist but because he's trying to make a good impression for Hajime. And once he's even more interested in Hajime he wants his attention, He's always by his side at any chance he gets. I think Hajime just generally stood out to him because he felt a connection with him on a spiritual level and acted upon his curiosity. Why would he be the only one to stay behind and wake up Hajime otherwise? I think he had the gut instinct I do when I feel as if I need to talk to somebody who interests me.

His "facade," is sort of like how when you meet new people and you're not entirely showing your true self fully yet, I think he does that. He's able to suppress parts of himself for other people.

Nagito is always wanting Hajime's attention, he respects his personal space and beliefs but mostly wants to be around him. He's also VERY observant, even when he doesn't understand social cues sometimes his ability to observe others is a big factor about him. He observes Hajime a lot.

Which is honestly weird, isn't he afraid of getting close to people? He usually avoids his classmates, he thinks he isn't deserving of reciprocation, and yet he stayed by Hajime's side. He made an effort to talk normally enough that Hajime would like him. He even went swimming without any complaints, probably because he still doesn't want to lose his attention.

He continues this behavior throughout the game, even in Chapter 4 he uses the fact he has information to get Hajime's attention.

He doesn't think he's worth the ultimates time, and yet, he's always drawn to Hajime. He's always after Hajime's approval, it's so oddly fascinating to me. It's not an obsession thing, but he just really loves him for some reason. It feels more like an irrational emotion, it's not warped love, it's not about status, and It proceeds on even when he knows he's a despair.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, if Nagito saw his suicide plan as freeing Hajime from Despair. Maybe that's how he justifies it with his emotions. And in an odd sense a horrible proclamation of love.

Sorry this kind of turned into Komahina more than anything lmao, but mostly I'm just thinking about how weird it is that he likes him, like why? What is it about him that Nagito is so infatuated with him? It goes against what he usually does, was he just really that special that he becomes irrational to his typical behaviors?

And in the free time events he's even more infatuated because he believes Hajime is amazing for tolerating him. He pushes him away so he doesn't get harmed by his luck cycle, but also to hopefully to get Hajime kill him. He wants him to escape, he wants him to create hope. Because he believes someone as great as Hajime can create amazing hope. And then his love confession???? AUGH his love confession like, it's so complicated. Did he bail out because he didn't want him to get hurt by his luck cycle? Did he bail out because he doesn't think he's worthy? LIKE??? He's so crazy.

Nagito's so interesting, his irrational infatuation with Hajime next to his warped beliefs, luck cycle, warped love, and intense obsession with hope to the point that he becomes morally grey over it makes him such a wonderful and entertaining character.

#nagito komaeda #danganronpa #danganronpa komaeda #danganronpa nagito #sdr2 nagito #sdr2 komaeda #sdr2 #danganronpa goodbye despair #komaeda nagito #komahina #hinakoma #hajime x nagito #hajime x komaeda #komaeda x hajime #komaeda x hinata #nagito x hajime #nagito x hinata

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cumsuga · 10 months ago

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Wasted Times Pt 4

yoongi x fem!reader jungkook x fem!reader

genre. SMUT, fluff, angst, Romance, established relationship!AU 18+ (Minors DNI)

Who knew trying to stay sober would be so hard? The guilt. Everyone talks about how much guilt you experience when you cheat, and it’s always the guilt for cheating and regretting it. But what no one ever talks about is the guilt that comes from cheating and enjoying it.

warnings: mentions of alcoholism, violence (someone gets smacked *cough* Yoongi *cough*), Handjob, infidelity, plot twists on plot twists, Yoongi is not a good person ILTHHBIHTLH, Jungkook is the bestest boy as always, SUB!YOONGI but only for reader no one else

word count: 4k

A/N: I honestly feel like you can tell this was kinda rushed, but I felt bad for leaving you all hanging for an entire year. Please forgive me, I'll give you kisses! Anyway, GIVE ME FEEDBACK, but be nice cause I'm sensitive...

You spend the whole day trying to justify what you just did and with your boss. You'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. In fact, it made you feel how you felt when you drank. All warm and fuzzy inside. It was nice to have the feeling back, but you didn't know if it was what was best for you. You felt like Yoongi would be another thing you couldn't let go of. You knew you were fucked, and you hated it.

You watch Yoongi act like nothing happened, like he didn’t just fuck you in the back of a black car. He works like you’re more annoying to him now, being a bit more demanding. When you finally have a chance, you tell him you need to talk to him. He tells you in a minute and to wait for him in the green room before shooing you away. You don't think you've ever wanted to punch someone in the face so bad, but that was until you met him.

So, like he asks, that’s just what you do. After an eternity of pacing back and forth, trying to rationalize cheating to yourself, he enters the room. “You needed to talk. I’m listening,” he says, grabbing you by the hand and leading you to the couch. He doesn’t let you sit, choosing to have you stand between his legs. “Talk to me, angel.”

“First of all, whatever you’re trying to do here, stop it.” you swat his hands off your thighs and take a couple steps back, “Second, what happened in the car can never and will never happen again. It was a mistake. After this discussion, we will never talk about it again. Am I making myself clear?”

He smirks at you. “Oh angel, you dim little thing,” he stands and walks over to you, “I can stop whenever I want, but as they say, ‘everything beautiful is ruined eventually.’” he tucks a loose strand behind your ear. “And that, my dear, is you.”

And with that, he walks out of the room. You’re left there confused because what the fuck does that mean? Did he just call you ugly and stupid? Did he say he’s going to ruin your life? The conversation left you with more questions than answers. So, like the hardheaded person you were, you follow after him. At this point, you didn’t care about your job; you cared about this getting back to Jungkook and destroying him. When you catch up to Yoongi, you whisper to him, “Unless you want me to make a scene and embarrass you, I suggest you get back in that FUCKING room.” Putting extra emphasis on the word fucking so that he knew you were serious. All eyes were on you two because, despite whispering, it sounded angry, so he obliges you and walks back. If it was one thing he hated, it was people staring at him like he was an object on display.

“1. You will leave this room when and if we come to a mutual understanding. 2. If we do not come to a mutual understanding, I will catch the next flight out of here, and you will never see me again. And you can explain to our company why I ruined such a huge event, and so help me god, if he ever finds out about this–” he cuts you off laughing

“PFFT! You’re cute when you’re angry.” he finally catches your eyes and sees that you’re not fucking around. You’re dead serious, and in his 30 years of life, he’s never been afraid of a woman like he is of you.

“Sit. Down,” you say through clenched teeth, nostrils flaring. And like he’s going to win an award for being so obedient he sits his ass right on that couch. “I’m not fucking playing with you, Yoongi. This isn’t a joke; this is my life. You can go on after this carefree because that's who you are. Rockstar Min Yoongi can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. But me, me, I have real consequences, I. Will. Lose. Every. Thing! I need you to get that through your thick fucking skull! THIS ISNT A FUCKING GAME!”

Tears are streaming down your face, but he looks annoyed now. That same stupid fucking face on his face. But you don’t know that Yoongi is in defense mode and will bite like most cornered animals. “Don’t ever talk to me like that. News flash, baby girl, I didn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, so don’t try and get up on some fucking moral high ground because you have some boyfriend who, by the way, you treat like shit. You wanted to fuck me. I simply gave you what you’ve been dying for. You know, once an addict, always an addict, not my fault you traded in drinking yourself into a coma for dick.” And before you can even process what your body is doing, you slapped him. It wasn’t some bullshit “for tv” slap. No, it was loud. It had his ears ringing and your palm stinging.

“Don’t you EVER try and act like you fucking know me and throw something you know nothing about in my fucking face. You know what? FUCK you, I’m leaving. Good luck with your miserable life.” And with that, you collect your things and flee back to the hotel. Yoongi is left standing there in shock and awe.

When you finally return to the hotel, a million people set up a million things in the room. You put on a brave face while you bob and weave through what seems like an ocean of people. When you finally enter the private bedroom and hear the door close behind you, you let it all loose. Sobbing into the pillows. How dare he, you think, throw something so serious in your face. But fuck it, at this point, if everyone thinks you’re an alcoholic, let’s show them one. You open the mini bar and fish one of the bottles, and before you can crack the seal on the mini vodka, your phone rings. So you answer it, “Yoongi, I don't wanna-”

“Yoongi? Uh, no, it’s your boyfriend? Baby, are you crying?” as soon as you hear Jungkook's voice, you cry even harder. “Y/N? Baby, hey, hey, calm down. Talk to me, is everything okay? Did something happen?”

LIE! You tell yourself. Lie right now and save your relationship. “Yes, I’m sorry. I was just watching a sad movie, and it made me miss you, and then you called. It was like fate or something.” You sniffle into the phone.

“Oh, my baby. You’re so cute, I miss you too! Just 5 more days, and you get to come home to me.” He coos, and you instantly feel more at peace. Not taking that drink was worth it, and god, did you want that drink.

“Actually, I was thinking about coming home early, like tomorrow, maybe?” You say, still sniffling

He lets out a soft chuckle, “Baby, as much as I want you here, I think your boss would be pretty pissed if you just up and left. Stick it out like the fighter I know you are. You got this. I believe in you. By the time you come home, it’ll be a week before our anniversary, and I’ll take you wherever you wanna go. I already talked to Jimin and Yoongi, and we're taking 2 weeks. Just me and you. Sound good?”

“Yes, that sounds wonderful.” You sigh

“Good, now tell me, how’s Paris?”

You guys talked for an hour before saying I love you and goodbyes. When you get off the phone, there is a light knock on the door. “Ms. Y/N, we're ready for you at hair and make-up.” You tell them to give you a moment, and they say okay and leave. So, in that moment, you take all the little bottles of alcohol and pour them down the drain. You’re not going to leave Paris defeated. Especially not after everything you’ve been through. So you get glammed up and put your dress on. By the time you’re done, Yoongi is returning to the hotel.

While getting your hair and makeup done, you decide that you’re going to play Yoongi’s games, but they’re gonna be your rules. When he’s done getting ready, you pull him to the side and apologize for hitting him. “I understand if you want to part ways after this. I will exit quietly–”

He shushes you, “Oh Angel, though it pains me to say it because I never thought I would, I think I’m in love with you. So, with that being said, I forgive. I forgave you the minute it happened because I know you didn’t mean it.” He cups your cheek, and you lean into his palm. “You’re gonna stay here with me until I give you back to Jungkook. Deal?”

“Deal,” you say, nodding. He pecks you gently, and for a split second, you lose your resolve, but it’s quickly regained when he pulls away. “ I have something for you, Angel.” He says, handing you a small Valentino box. “You can tell Jungkook you got them as a gift from the designer.”

You open the box and see the nicest pair of earrings you've ever seen. They’re fully wrapped in baguette crystals. “Yoongi, I’m sorry, I can’t accept these. These look way too expensive.” You’re both in awe and annoyed. Why does he think he can buy your love? Could he buy your love? No! The only person that has your love is Jungkook, ONLY him. You only love him… right?

“Are you sure? I know they’d look beautiful on you.” he takes them out of the box and puts them on for you. “I know you’re wearing Versace, but people mix brands all the time, and I’m right. Absolutely stunning.” He pecks your nose and walks away to pour some champagne.

You watch him, realizing he never even apologized for not only calling you an alcoholic but a slut too, and a fire starts inside you. You’re determined to ruin Yoongi, make him miss the mere sight of you. “You know I can’t drink that, right? I traded alcohol in for dick, remember?” you say, giggling, but your throat is dry like you’re dying for that champagne. You push the thoughts away quickly. Flooding them with the happy life you want to have with Jungkook, you want to be his wife, the mother of his children.

“Oh shit, yeah. Fuck, I’ll pour it out. I’m sorry.” he moves around the room, collecting any type of alcohol and taking it to the bathroom.

“You understand that if you want to be with me, you have to stop drinking as well, right? Like it’s non-negotiable. I’m serious about my recovery.” You say, fixing the lipstick, he messed up. You thought, ‘God, I can’t wait to go home.’ You find it sad because you like Yoongi. You don’t know why, but you do. Maybe it’s because he is the complete opposite of Jungkook. He was crass, rude, and annoying as fuck, but it drove you crazy. He made you feel tingles all over your body, and you fucking hated it but loved it just as much.

“I know, baby, I just got excited. I’m happy that you wanna stay with me. Maybe you could—” he’s cut off by a girl bursting into the room.

“Baby!! I missed you so much!” she runs to him and kisses him. Yoongi goes sheet white like he’s seen a ghost, and you can’t believe your eyes. You’re astonished, laughing softly to yourself because, boy oh boy, he’s fucked.

“Princess, I thought you said you weren’t coming..” he looks over at you and then back at the mystery girl. She finally realizes you’re in the room and looks-* over at you like you’re the most disgusting thing she’s ever seen.

“Baby, who is this?” she looks up at Yoongi, then back at you.

“I’m Y/N. It's nice to meet you. I’m Yoongi’s assistant.” You smile the most sickeningly sweet smile. If it’s one thing you know, many women were intimidated by you. I mean, why wouldn’t they be? You were beautiful, curvy, and friendly. As they say, bitches be hating.

“Well, I’m Hayoon, Yoongi’s girlfriend. You can go away now; he and I have some catching up to do.” She smiles back at you.

“Oh.” you pout. “Well, that's too bad. We actually have to leave right now. Valentino is starting soon. I could call and see if you could come? Though it looks like you’re not dressed for the occasion. Let’s go, Mr. Min; we have to be there by 5 for the preshow party.” You turn and leave the room. She starts complaining as soon as you leave the room, going on and on about how he needs to fire you for being so rude, and he argues back that she was being just as harsh and that she needs to stop acting like a brat or go home. She relents and he walks out of the room and collects some personal items.

“Baby, go to the house. I’ll meet you there later,” he says to her, and she pouts before leaving.

You two get into the car, and it’s awkwardly quiet. “So, I guess I’m not the only slut, huh.”

“Shut the fuck up. She’s not my girlfriend. We occasionally have sex whenever I’m in Paris.” he’s rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Does she know that?” you snort, and his phone begins to ring, “Oh, it looks like ‘Baby Girl heart emoji’ is calling; you wanna take that?” he sends the call to voicemail, sighing. “Just admit it; I won't tell her that you fucked me in this exact car yesterday, don’t worry. Admit it, and I’ll fuck you again.” you lean into his ear and lick at his earlobe, which earns you a low groan.

“Fine, fuck, fine, she’s my girlfriend.” he’s losing his patience with you.

“Mmm, such a good boy. Where’d you meet her, huh? How long have you been together? Huh, baby?” you palm him through his slack rubbing gently.

He’s beginning to fall apart. Although Yoongi’s never admitted it to anyone, just as much as he loves to be in control during sex, he loves it just a little more when the woman takes control. And right now, he especially loves that it’s you. “Fuck… I met her when I first moved from Daegu to Seoul. We’ve been friends since, but we’ve been together for 5 years… but I want you now..”

“Why does no one know about her, and why didn’t you tell me about her? You fucked me raw.” you’re unbuttoning his pants, slipping your hand into his waistband, and starting to jerk him in his pants.

“Someone does. Namjoon knows. He actually introduced us. I keep her out of the spotlight because she’s a non-celebrity. She would get too overwhelmed with everything, not media trained, ya know… Fuck… I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to lose you. I’ve never fucked anyone without a condom. Not even her, you’re the first person ever.” you hum into his ear, you can’t believe how easily he’s willing to give up this information. And he had the nerve to slut shame you. Madness.

“Wow, baby, you’re such a good boy. You won’t lie to me anymore, right? Is there anything else you want to tell me?” you feel him twitch in your hand. You know he's gonna cum soon, and that's precisely what you want.

“I have one more thing, but I can’t tell you right now… fuck.” he’s whiny, needy, and it's so cute on him.

“Hmm, I guess that’ll do for now. You can cum.” and he does, and there is so much you’re salivating. You want to do nothing more than to clean him up with your mouth but fuck him. He can clean himself up. So you wipe your hand on his shirt.

“Clean yourself up, we’re almost there.” You throw him a napkin before reaching into your bag and handing him a new shirt. You fix the little bit of makeup that was ruined, and he moves to kiss you. “Nuh-uh, don’t fuck up my make-up.” You push him away while the car pulls up to the carpet. Luckily, he’s cleaned and ready to go.

The night is hard to get through, to say the least. While you love fashion, being around people who are drunk or high or both isn’t really the best for someone in recovery. But you hold your resolve. You’re strong and will stay strong not only for you but for the man you get to go home to very soon.

Thankfully, the week goes by quickly. Of course, Yoongi tried to fuck you every chance he got, but you always found you’re way out of it. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to have sex with him; you just wanted it to be on your time, not his. Anyways, you’re finally back home. You decide on the plane ride home that you’re going to tell Jungkook what happened, you think that if you tell him now it’ll save a lot of hurt and pain for the both of you.

At this point, you’re waiting for him to pick you up from the airport. After about 10 minutes, you spot his black AMG. Relieved that you get to be in his presence again. He pulls up next to you, getting out of the car to help you. “Hi princess, I missed you. You look beautiful as always.” He kisses the top of your head before opening your door and helping you into the car.

“How was Paris, my love?” he asks, but you don’t reply right away. You’re trying to think of the right way to do this. To rip the bandaid off and tell the man you love you cheated.

“It was nice… Hey, Jungkook…. I need to tell you something.” you fidget with your fingers, ears burning.

“What's up? I’m all ears.” he chimes. He sounds so happy, and you feel so guilty for what you’re about to say.

“Jungkookicheatedonyou.” it comes out as one jumbled word, too afraid to even make it a sentence.

But he just chuckles a little, “I know.” he says, still in the same tone of voice. You’re startled. What does he mean he knows?

“You know?!” your thoughts are racing; you can’t believe what you just heard.

“Yes, princess, I know, calm down. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how I know. Do you remember when I called you the first day you were there? You thought you hung up, but you didn’t.”

“You're not mad?” your heart feels like it's going to jump out of your chest.

“Oh, baby doll, I was pissed. Naturally. Hearing the love of my life getting railed by some douche that calls himself a rapper. But I told you when you told me no the first time, I’m going to marry you no matter what. So I’m going to give you a year to get it out of your system, and after that year, you’re all mine. Does that seem fair? I do have a couple of rules we can discuss when we get home.” he laces his hand with yours and kisses it.

All you could say was okay, he was right it was finite that you were going to marry each other. It was too much work to start all over with someone else. You two rarely ever fought before your condition, so you were comfortable with him. You knew you never wanted a relationship with Yoongi. He didn’t know that, though. I’m sure he probably thinks you’re going to leave Jungkook for him, and he’d be absolutely wrong. You thought when you first met Yoongi you’d leave JK for him, but now, no. Yoongi is a terribly selfish person, and you’d rather be treated with some type of respect.

After what seems like forever, you two finally get home. “Go inside, I’ll grab your bags. We’ll talk once I get inside.”

He follows after you shortly and gets you all settled. “Sit on the couch, we’re going to have a serious talk, princess.”

So you do, and you keep quiet. Your thoughts are racing; you’re terrified that he’s lying to you. You feel like this is entrapment. You feel like Jungkook is going to use this against you, but in that same vein you know Jungkook is too soft to really be mad at you.

“So, princess, I know you enjoyed your time in Paris, but I have some ground rules.” As soon as he went to sit, someone knocked on the door. Jungkook goes to answer it and when he comes back to the living room Yoongi is in tow. You go white, terrified of what Jungkook is going to do to Yoongi. “He arrived just on time! Please, sit.”

“Jungkook what’re you doing?” You question, you’re trembling at this point.

“I want you to know that he knows that I know. That was a lot of knows, but yeah.” you’re dumbfounded, and just look at Yoongi because what the actual fuck is going on here. You feel like you’re going to pass out. This is a dream, a really fucked up dream. You’ll wake up soon, and everything will be alright, you think to yourself. Yoongi shifts in his seat, cheeks red and looking extremely uncomfortable.

“What do– There’s no fucking way. I’m dreaming. This is a joke–” You stand up and start pacing the room.

“It’s true…” Yoongi squeaks out, “He called me that day. Gave me an ultimatum… He told me I had a year to be with you, and then after that, I had to leave you alone, or he’d tell HYBE about us. I agreed..”

You’d never felt so confused and betrayed. I mean, sure, you cheated, but these two dickheads had conspired against you, “And what if I don’t want to do the whole year? What if I just wanted it to be a one-time thing? I feel like you’re pimping me out to my boss, this is weird..”

Jungkook just gives you a look, something you’d describe as hurt but understanding, “Okay then, tell Yoongi he needs to leave you alone. That you quit and that you want nothing to do with him.”

You look over at Yoongi, then back to Jungkook, and he implores you for an answer: “So are you gonna say it?”

“Well… what if I don’t want to leave him alone? What then?” Jungkook looks taken aback.

“If that’s what you really want, I will accept your decision, but I know that’s not what you want. You love me too much to leave me.” At this point, you’re sure Jungkook has lost his mind, finally fed up with your bullshit, but he’s right. You’re acting out because you’re bored with your life, like those housewives you see on TV. “Honey, I’m giving you a hall pass. Please accept it. I love you, and I want you to be happy. I feel I’m being more than generous considering.”

“Fine... What are your conditions?”

“1. You can see him 2 days out of the week. 2. You must use condoms and other contraceptives. I don’t like the thought of him cumming in you, and the thought of you pregnant by him makes my skin crawl. 3. If you’re with him and I call, answer unless you are… having sex…” He smiles at you, “I think that's fair, no? Also, I think Yoongi has something he needs to tell you.”

You look at Yoongi, and he looks like he’s going to throw up right then and there. “Okay? What is it?”

He’s quiet for a really long time, pulling at the skin on his cuticles. “Hello? You there? What do you need to tell me?”

He finally musters the courage to say, “I have a 4-year-old…”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

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#bts #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader

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