#it haunts me bro what was i DOING
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i wanna know what my parents thought when their daughter turned eight and started reading the dictionary like a novel
#what was i on about#it was ENTHRALLING#i had no friends#if you couldnt already tell#💀💀💀#tf was all that about#it haunts me bro what was i DOING
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Song - Taking What’s Not Yours by Tv Girl.
(I learnt my lesson from last time so here’s the animated version in the original post)
#‘how often do you thing about the tragedy of JennyBear?’ yes#something something the tragedy of JennyBear is that despite an infinite amount of timelines there isnt a single one where they are together#Thinking of all the stuff she left in his apartment- Ted thinking she rather abandon it then see him again to collect them#Thinking of all the emails and dunk voicemails Ted probably left in a desperate attempt to contact her and tell her how he feels#Thinking about how Ted probably clings onto the fact that someone did love him- even if it was a diffrent version of it. It was still him#what haunts me about JennyBear is that in every timeline bar one Ted just thinks she left- ignorant of the truth#you think on the surface level this is an angsty JennyBear comic but peel back the layers and it’s once again long haired Ted propaganda#shoutout to booigi-boi for the hc that the goat bros have hoof birthmarks because I immediately incorporated it into my belief system#ted spankoffski#theodore spankoffski#jenny starkid#jennybear#starkid#team starkid#starkid productions#starkid fanart#fanart starkid#time bastard#starkid time bastard#time bastard nightmare time#nightmare time#starkid nightmare time#hatchetfield nightmare time#nmt#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#hatchetfield universe#fanart#my art#my animation
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HUH? WHAT? WHAT. HUH?
#you CANNOT do this to me I will litterally die#TGATS MY STREAMER BRO#goddamnit I miss offlining#tbf mcyt and mclaren jnteraction isnt even that out of the box at this poin#reffering to the video oscar did with ldshadowlady#STILL if tubbo interacts with them I might just crumble to dush and leave with the wind#okay but what if. what if landoscar dsmp au. what then#sorry if that's too cringe my dsmp hyperfix will likely haunt me to my grave#f1#mcyt#mclaren f1#tubbo#dsmp#nebrain
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2009 Chinese Grand Prix - Parc Fermé - Sebastian Vettel & Mark Webber
#MY FAVORITE RACE IVE WATCHED!!! IT IS SO VERY IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY????#the way theyre in sync serveral times! the way mark helps seb down by tugging him a bit!#(i did in fact write a post abt why this race is crucial to me but i dont think itll ever see the light of day LOL)#okay sry in advance theres gonna be so many tags:#i didnt rly wanna gif any other ssn before finishing 2005 but this is the first older race i watched and its still stuck in my brain#so im obligated to myself from several months ago to at least do a bit#and heres the thing w seb races: id love to contain them to one post like i do w fernandos but I CANT AAHHHHH#theres so much content!(tbf this is less bcs personal seb bias and more bcs theyve def made improvements in production quality since 2005)#i was drafting a post for this race a bit ago and realized 'oops yeah i dont think i can keep this in one post' so ye ill prob post more!#like bro i could make a full post of before they even get to the podium#but this sebmark section in parc ferme has been haunting me since the beginning of this yr#(i was looking thru my insta cf story archive and saw the vids i took of this moment while freaking out and im like okay fine ill do it)#sebastian vettel#mark webber#sv5#sebmark#martian#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#2009 chinese gp#(2009: 1/17 races watched)#(out of order but who cares lol i think 2009 is what ill watch after 2005 anyways!)#season: 2009
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so fucked up when billy eichner wrote that scene in bros where hes in bed naked with the male love interest and said male love interest notices his concave rib cage and the consequent exchange is like a hyperspecific scene in a reader insert or something and i end up feeling like im seeing more of him than i should. and it's extra fucked up because i also have one (1) concave rib. cage
#half the cage. but less noticeable than his#you know what. itms worse because ive totslly been like hey do you want to feel my fucked up ribs to someone i was dating#karinyo.txt#it was just a lot because i was like wow you wrote that specifically about your own body. and are acting it out and filming it#every so often this comes back to haunt me and im like billy eichner comcave rin cage scene in bros...
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Y’all what do I do w a dead bird
#Bro has been haunting me since I took my 5 hour walk so I took it w me#Like bruh what do u want from me 💀💀
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The desperate need to make the Aichi blaster blade blue sweater but in red with the text “overlord” instead .
#It haunts me every single day#a craft I just have no gotten to#I’ve been thinking about it ever since I saw the art bro#which is like 2 years ago what#I think#year and half#GIRL IDK BUT I NEED TO MAKE IT#If I ever do I’ll post pics#arts and crafts#diy#cfv
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It doesn't matter how long I live with ADHD or how many coping mechanisms I have...I *am* going to lose very important things and I *am* going to feel like a dumb little baby whenever that happens and get so frustrated I could cry. Why does my own brain hate me so bad? Do you understand how fucking terrifying it is to just FORGET important things in your life? It's scary and belittling and takes away your own sense of agency and competency every single time...
#adhd#personal#i lost my hanko#which is like. ARGH#i NEED it in order to sell my car#i cannot find it anywhere. it's in NONE of the places where i keep important things#so where did it go??#i ordered a new one online for 3000 yen and i still have to take it to city hall to get it registered#which like. i have fucking work!! it's closed by the time i finish work!#so it'll take me forever to get it replaced and just. i have sooooo many things i have to take care of on my days off i don't have time!!!#like what if. i just could fucking find important things when i need them#it honestly feels like i have a goddamn poltergeist stealing my shit and making me go insane#my own brain is fucking haunted bro#anyway. i am VERY anxious about this. everything i try to do has 100 extra steps
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it’s over when i say, and you’re not getting rid of me.
“dethrone” // ‘finding god before god finds me’ // bad omens
#bad omens#bad omens cult#skull#procreate#bro how tf do i TAG THIS#anyways#songs that. awakened something in me. i won’t say what but iykyk.#so actually i’m gonna expound a little in here bc i feel silly#so during a q&a someone asked jolly Why noah does frankly. batshit and Very Long growls live but the studio vers is a little more ‘tame’#and jolly goes ‘it’s easier for him to do the long ones. and people seem to really like them. so—‘#and like. even since I’VE started watching clips of them performing this song. noah’s just getting more and more fucking loose with it#to the point that on their last tour circuit their front of house guy posted a video. from the BACK OF AN OUTDOOR VENUE#AND YOU CAN **HEAR** THE GROWL OFF MIC. CARRYING THAT FUCKING FAR.#that video lives rent fucking free in my mind i’m literally haunted by it#fuck lol
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Got called mopy and moody and an overall killjoy for not enjoying the one (1) party experience I had in February of last year cuz I kept getting left alone at a party so I just sat and had nachos 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻
#it all started cuz I am still confused on what we’re doing for this weekend cuz bestie here isn’t articulating clearly#I ask about Halloween and she says they’re going to the club cuz no one goes on a Tuesday#I wouldn’t know I’ve never gone to one since I don’t ever wanna go alone and no one asks#then she said it’s for a friend’s birthday AFTER I asked if we should take the birthday girl out to a rage room or axe throwing cuz the bday#bday girl had shown interest in it before but it got shut down fast#by this point I still don’t know what club they wanna go to let alone what day but I do get told that since I tire out faster then them#that I’ll have to go home alone and that is just raining alarms in my head cuz I’m guessing it’s in Toronto and they’ve turned into Gotham#it’s such a shit show during the day so I know it’s gonna be worse at night with the cover of darkness#and did she not hear of that story of these 2 girls who nearly got TRAFFICKED BY THEIR UBER???and she wants me to use one alone??#in toronto???? bro I ain’t risking shit for some place I don’t know the name or address for#and says that she’s been clear this whole time on what’s going on and doesn’t want a repeat of last time#when idk if it’s just me but the only clear thing here is that I’m not really wanted for the night out#cuz clear would be saying where and when and also who and how which I never got any of that but she keeps saying she did tell me but didn’t#the first written convo was just her asking the birthday girl if they should dress up as tiana and Belle#and I ask if they’re gonna wear gowns cuz it’s gonna be cold out#all she says is we’ll be inside and when I ask I get no answer just more costume suggestions the next day#the second time it’s breathed is when we’re on the phone and I ask about what we doing for Halloween#she says that we’re clubbing and I ask if we ain’t doing anything else like the seasonal shit we can’t do any other time#she just says no and tells me I can stay home after I suggest a few things and she calls them childish#like going to a haunted corn maze or the Halloween event at casa loma cuz yes getting spooked is childish#I even threw in axe throwing cuz bday girl has been stressed and thought she might like it#then today I ask if I should go up for the weekend cuz idk wtf is going on still and it’s been almost 2 weeks and there’s a mini argument in#the group chat with her saying the same 2 things. we clubbing and you’ll have to go home alone#birthday girl is just as confused on who’s going but says that on Friday we can go to a movie and dinner so I’m not left out#so at least I get somewhat of an answer on if going up is worth it or if I’m getting ditched the whole weekend#so at least if I’m going back up I can make plans to hang out with her brother and whoever else wants to hang#idk maybe see a movie or go to the mall or something#like shit at least give me all the info to decide if I wanna go especially music cuz that first and last party did not have good music tbh#I know if at least enjoy myself at a 90’s/2000’s party cuz I like that but nope I don’t even get that#just club or bust essentially :/ and it seems I be bust by what she said
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was a good night. even though i diddnt have any freaky gross gay sex.
#went to amusement park#one of the other eddies i ran in to gave me a tiny spider ring#the others gave me a high five and a general ‘hell yeah bro’ kinda look#i also ate my first churro#it wasnt a very good churro but it was still a churro. and it was one dolly only.#worst part of the night was me somehow fucking accidentally picking a psych ward haunted house#it wasnt that scary but fuck fr?? THATS the one i pick??? for fucking real???#also i had a nice chat with one of the scare actors and he was super sweet#even though i almost blundered when he asked what i do with my hair#cuz he was like ‘oh i like ur hair’ ‘thx’ ‘what do you do?’#and i was like. uhhhhh. PROFESSIONALLY??#no babe!!! with ur hair!!! ffs!!!#but he was very nice and funny#anyways#it was a good night#finally watched saw#whatever the fuck
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jackman is such a good album. 24 minutes long and every track is so good and so raw. i do not take like most of anthony fantanos opinions seriously anyways but the low score on this one especially was such a bad take.
#this is a good album#i think the last two albums have been so so mid from harlow#this album is solid. blame on me alone is gonna be top ten songs out this year for me#the lyrically raw content of jackman is good#the musical production that feels true to harlows sound#like its an objectively good rap album to me#i think jack is a really talented musician and i was deeply disappointed with his shift to pop after whats poppin hit air#because i think he had a little bit more of an edge before that#but i respect what he was doing for his career#jackman is such a 180 and it feels great#it strikes good balance between rap and production#and the work in it provides interesting and thought provoking commentary#challenging harlows reputation as a white rapper and reconciling with fame and relationships#f/ntanos most egregious take about gang gang gang which is obviously a commentary of 'bros over hoes' culture was so so bad lol#denver is just SO good#like. objectively good. the flow and the guitar on it. the introspection. the vocal adds a haunting quality#sorry. i am pretty picky with albums in general#jackman is an 8/10 to me for sure. super unexpected#void.speaks
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Okay so like those Schumi gifs I just posted, I said in the tags that there's been several commentary quotes that have stuck w me bcs of how much they took me out, here are some of my favorites(not completely verbatim):
[Kimi hits the curb roughly] "I hope Kimi doesn't have any fillings in those perfect Finnish teeth of his, because if he does, they definitely just got knocked out!"
"Montoya is getting pegged a bit by Fernando right there"
I like him[Fernando], he's a charismatic little fellow!"
"The BAR was getting intimate with the Ferrari!!"
Non-specific but the way they keep saying "[insert driver] was bitching to their team/media/us earlier about [insert problem]"
[Referring to Schumi] That wiley old fox!
+bonus Nico Rosberg mentions:
"Baby Rosberg in the GP2 race"
"Would they take the risk and put little Rosberg in the car"
#I JUST THINK ITS CUTE THAT THEY KEEP REFERRING TO NICO UNPROMPTED AND CALLING HIM LITTLE AND BABY#that kimi quote genuinely haunts me i think abt it at least 5 times a wk and i think i can quote that verbatim bcs it took me out so badly#i remember quoting it to my brother and he had a moment of silence and then went '...what the fuck.'#'those perfect finnish teeth of his' hey i like his smile a lot too but jesus#also me desperately looking through my notes app and all the sticky notes on my desk to see if i wrote these down#also bros calling the current championship leader a 'little fellow' certainly sticks w me#f1#formula 1#f1 2005#we do a little bit of f1#catie.rambling.txt
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Nobody is ever going to understand halloween ends the way that I do
#AND I DONT . BUT I DO. the novel bro i thought I was reading it for fun but I m not actually because do you ever . become your own boogeyma#it’s a love story it’s a horror movie it’s about loss it’s about breaking the cycle it’s about never being able to escape the narrative#it’s about embracing what you’ve lost and crawling inside the shell that once haunted you . nobody speak to me#I’m still pepe sylvia-ing girl wtf I just wanted to watch horror franchise finale
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Holy shit
#luca rambles#random ass thoughts#ziggy z#pulau batu di samudra buatan#now i personally didnt think the twist is THAT good from. like. plot point of view#because it makes no sense#and its kinda obvious that in a mystery novel that uses first person POV#the POV character is also a suspect. the biggest one in fact#BUT!#i cant even bring myself to care and critique that#because of the fucking. visceral scene of a child stabbing someone with a pencil and shooting them in the head to protect her family#and the fact it is the same child who almost killed someone else with a fire extinguisher then has a crisis about it afterwards#god#what the fuck#AND AND#the culprit killed his own daughter AND his daughter's fiance bcs he doesn like him???? bro??????? jail and therapy for a thousand year????#love the fact that he's revealed as a millionaire lmao rich people really do suck do they#god. so many people died and for what???#i think the twist is deliberately unsastisfying bcs. well. we see it in real life dont we#rich ppl being evil?#also my god when suji describes what shes gone through trying to save them all....#she swam through hot polluted water and had to float on dead bodies#and she wasnt even traumatized! she just wanted to be with her mom and siblings and go home!#(thats a lie i think she was traumatized but everything else took the forefront of her mind that time)#(same with kali)#augh#that shooting scene will haunt me#an innocent kid drenched with blood ohmygod
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dont remember if i ever was this angry at anyone before
#keep thinking abt [redacted]#wack. tbh#like embarrassing idgaf abt this guy why is he still on my mind.#this is some ego feeding shit like its cool to hate and be angry or something?#its just that i think he should be corrected. but the system is not in agreement on this.#guy was like my best friend for a couple months never even asked abt the system lol n theyr like looking out for him#or i guess mby theyre looking out for me/us. so as to not go to jail/be haunted by our choices our whole lives.#whatever#i know how to make it stop it is just taking time and effort. because its like 1. kind of addictive so i keep accidentaly/habitually reinfo#cing it and 2. the other option is to face that im hurt and i cant do shit about it realy other than ... LeArN from it or some shit#like learn what? i already went full schizoid over this.#maybe i dont need to learn shit lol maybe i already did it :)#so just the pain then. and overcoming the hate habit. and like just letting it go and forgetting abt it#but the thing is that he needs to die i think.#i want to kill kill kill kill him so bad.#i hope hes not reading this in case i ask to meet him again sometime. for business.#maybe thats why its still on my mind#because im unwilling to let go of the idea that we could help eachother if i wasnt so stupid hurt over some little thing (the nasty shit he#pulled that hurt me lol) like bro. bro. im not going to just get over it. like thts rly the thing. 3-5 yrs ago i would have totally just#elected to get over it and make up or smth like that.#and im v unwilling to do that now while lots of my brain architecture is still built for that interaction style.#so when im thinking kill kill kill kill im going to [redacted as fuck im not putting that shit online this is already bad enough] mby im#actually killing the mental structures that make me a target for abuse :)))))))))#all is good in the world i love myself and my life. and absolutely no one else. except my mom and my friends and that one other guy who als#might read my blog but i really doubt it bc he doesnt evenrly ask me how im doing or anything . its cool though. for now.
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