#the lyrically raw content of jackman is good

[sn4kebites]

jackman is such a good album. 24 minutes long and every track is so good and so raw. i do not take like most of anthony fantanos opinions seriously anyways but the low score on this one especially was such a bad take.

[luiletulip]

This is me.

The last movie I saw to end 2017 in the cinema was “Wonder”. The first movie I saw to start 2018 in the cinema was “The Greatest Showman”.

Both movies were amazing. Both movies left a very, very deep impact in my heart.

I’ve kept an eye on both of these titles for quite a while before they came to play in the movies, simply because I saw Daveed Diggs’s and Hugh Jackman’s posts regarding each movie on Instagram.

I am a very passionate fan of Hamilton: An American Musical as well as an extremely loyal fan of Marvel Comics, you see, so of course I was excited to see two of my favorite actors star in new movies. 

Other than that, I only know that “Wonder” came from a book I was so intrigued by years before (but didn’t get to buy because I had so many books to read), and nothing on “The Greatest Showman”.

So the hype was (at that moment) purely because of Daveed and Hugh (total Hamiltrash and an absolute Marvelite, as earlier mentioned, but also because I simply love Hugh Jackman as a person because wow what an angel, and Daveed is the coolest).

My mom watched “Wonder” before I did, and she told me how amazing it was. I believed her because I knew Jacob Tremblay would be starring in it, and that child blew me away with his acting in “Room” (which was so powerful to me).

I did plan on watching it soon, but what made me want to watch it, even more, was because my mom said that a character in “Wonder” reminded her of me so much. 

It was Via.

When I watched “Wonder”, I do feel like I understand Via in a sense that we are put in a similar situation in life, where we have to put so many others before ourselves, and at the end burn out because we forget to care for our own well-being.

However, I see Via as someone I want to be rather than who I already am as my mother told me. Via is kind, patient, sweet, and sincere . . . and I wish I was like her, I wish I could be like her. 

Despite being in a similar situation like Via, I couldn’t be half as amazing as she is. I ended up adoring the character, as well as the rest of the family, to be honest.

I wanted to be genuine and happy like Nate, the father. I also want to be strong and hopeful like Izzy, the mom. Not to forget about the wise and caring Mr. Tushman. I love these characters, I love how real and fragile, but at the same time raw and powerful they are.

Most importantly, though, I want to be like Auggie most.

Starting the movie with thinking that “oh, where’s the character mom told me was a lot like me? Her? Via?” initially blinded me to who I really connected to.

Earlier I had typed that I want to be like Auggie most, and that is because more than Via, I see myself in Auggie.

Auggie was insecure, confused, and scared. Just like I was a few days ago.

Although my issue was not a matter of something physical, I had struggles that made me insecure, confused and scared to the core as well. So of course I relate with Auggie. Of course I cried seeing him cry. Of course I feel his pain; though not the same.

As the story progresses, I feel like I grew with Auggie. I, too, had lost hope by the last few days of 2017 despite starting off with so much optimism. But seeing Auggie take steps, baby steps, to start climbing his mountain of fear and uncertainty inspired me to stop wallowing in despair and open my eyes, get up, and take. a. step.

Something Via said to Auggie stayed in my heart, 

“If they stare let them stare. You can’t blend in when you were born to stand out.”

And I’ve always known I was different from others, but I wanted to be like them. I wanted to blend in. I didn’t like standing out, I hated the spotlight. I wanted to just be in the shadows, in the backstage. 

But maybe, just maybe, that’s not the place God wants me to be in.

I believe in His plans for me, or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. Did I really trust Him? Do I really believe Him? Why did I hate being myself so much? I see myself in the mirror and I didn’t like a single thing about me most times.

But now I know that was because I wasn’t being the person God had created me to be. I was trying to please everyone, everyone else but God Himself.

That took a toll on my own heart and soul. I wasn’t brave enough to be myself.

So seeing Auggie stand up against what society deems worthy and unworthy really opened my eyes. If a little boy in fifth grade can muster up courage that enormous, I can too. 

The courage to take the first step is called acceptance.

Accepting myself in a sense of accepting my strengths and weaknesses, my struggles, and my dreams that make me me. I can only progress and develop myself after I accept myself first.

I have to know and be myself to be able to be a better, the best version of myself, and ultimately to be like Jesus as God wants us to be.

“Wonder” is a beautiful movie that helped me process all this. It will forever be one of my favorites, for sure.

Another beautiful quote from this beautiful movie that I hold dear in my heart,

“Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be kind.”

And another, just because this quote confirms how Auggie and I are alike,

“Sometimes I think my head is so big because it is so full of dreams.”

Aww :)

Now, onto “The Greatest Showman”!

This movie is spectacular. The soundtrack, the dance numbers, the cinematography, the cuts and scenes, and everything. I love it, I really do. Two seconds into the movie and I was already sold.

First of all, though, I’d like to thank whoever put Hugh Jackman in a red tailcoat tuxedo with a tophat, a waistcoat, and rolled up sleeves. I am absolutely swooning in love.

Speaking of love.

To be honest, from the start of 2017 until it ended two days ago, somehow I gave up on having a love interest or love life. I’ve never really been a hopeless romantic (I don’t even like romantic drama movies, not my thing) so I never really know what to expect.

I do have my little wishes and all, but never really have a clue when it comes to relationships and crushes. Which was a bit weird because I absolutely adore boys, I grew up with them, I befriend them easily, etc.

Also maybe it’s because it’s been ages since I last had a love life. Ever since I’ve just been crushing on celebrities (/cough Hugh Jackman /cough) and fictional characters.

So in 2017, I gave up on love entirely, even asking my parents the dreaded “what if I don’t marry at all?” question despite my ultimate dream to be a wife and a mother growing up.

But yesterday I saw how pure and true the love PT and Charity shared. 

Even when they had nothing and only had each other, that was more than enough for them. When they had each other, they had everything.

While I was watching them sing and dance on the rooftop, the thought that crossed my heart was, “Oh. I think I believe in love again.”

It was an odd thought/feeling, but I treasure it. It was nice to believe in love again, to hope for a love like theirs someday, maybe.

Thanks, PT and Charity.

And while we’re on the topic of Charity, she is most definitely a Proverbs 31 woman, the type of woman I aspire to be. She is loyal, content, peaceful, happy, supportive, and just downright amazing. 

I pray and hope and will do my best to have her good qualities.

Anyway, this movie is filled with interesting characters with good qualities (and not to mention splendid songs too). And just like how I cried in “Wonder”, I cried in this movie, too.

The scene that takes the cake, however, was when they sang the song “This Is Me” because wow, I really felt like that song was written for and about me.

From verse one,

I am not a stranger to the dark

Hide away, they say 

'Cause we don't want your broken parts 

I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars 

Run away, they say 

No one'll love you as you are

To verse two,

Another round of bullets hits my skin 

Well, fire away 'cause today

I won't let the shame sink in 

We are bursting through the barricades 

And reaching for the sun (we are warriors) 

Yeah, that's what we've become

And to the chorus,

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down 

Gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out 

I am brave, I am bruised 

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me 

Look out 'cause here I come 

And I'm marching on to the beat I drum 

I'm not scared to be seen 

I make no apologies, this is me

If you see that I’ve made some of the lyrics bold, that is because those are the words that pierced my heart.

Why?

The night of December 31st, 2017, my family and I sat down to reflect and talk about our resolutions. I opened up to my aunt and uncle, as well as to my cousins about the issue I was struggling so much with.

I told them that I was ashamed of my brokenness, that I was scared that no one would love me if I be myself. But I decided that night, that no more. 

No longer will I be afraid, no longer will I be ashamed, no longer will I be someone I’m not. I decided on the last day of 2017 that I will be the Luika that God created me to be.

And for that, I will be brave, because I know I’m not alone. My God is with me, and I draw my courage and my strength from Him. If He allows me to struggle with this issue, then I believe will all of my heart that He will give me the strength to overcome it.

I have a cousin who I admire so much because he is (and I use these exact words) unapologetically himself. I told him I want to be like that too.

So yes, I do feel like this song is meant for me. My name “Luika” itself means warrior. 

I will fight my battles. They won’t be easy, but with Jesus on my side and The Holy Spirit in my heart, I know I’ll win the war with Him.

I have hope again.

And maybe, by the end of 2018, I’ll gather up the enormous courage I have obtained throughout the year to tell the world what I struggled with. 

But as for now, I’m forever thankful to my Lord who gave me a chance to trust in Him again. This time, wholeheartedly.

2018 is going to be amazing, Lord. I’m sure!

Amen.

[glenngaylord]

THERE’S A SUCKY MOVIE BORN EVERY MINUTE - My Review Of THE GREATEST SHOWMAN (4 Stars...What?!)

I was as shocked as everyone else when the slow to catch on, critically excoriated THE GREATEST SHOWMAN turned into a bonafide blockbuster.  But then again, big, empty musicals sometimes do well.  MAMMA MIA and FLASHDANCE come to mind. Pure escapism often gets people through troubling times, be it the Great Depression, the Reagan years, or the current shit show on display.  What’s better than a fantasy circus to “trump” the real sideshow on the news every minute of the day?  

Screenwriters Bill Condon and Jenny Bicks have teamed up with LA LA LAND/DEAR EVAN HANSEN songwriters Benj Pasek and Justin Paul and first time director Michael Gracey to bring us a truly terrible film in so many ways, yet achieves greatness as well.  Is it possible to love and loathe a film simultaneously?  If we’re to fall for this movie’s themes, then, like its characters, we will sing/shout from the rooftops, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, DAMMIT!”

Let me be clear.  THE GREATEST SHOWMAN finds its inspiration from the life of circus impresario, P.T. Barnum (Hugh Jackman), but anyone expecting a biopic needs to check their egos at the tent flap.  Sketching in his life with the merest hint of an outline, THE GREATEST SHOWMAN celebrates filmmaking kinetics, soaring inspirational anthems, and rhythmic editing…leaving depth, rigor, and layering to the Sondheims, Kanders and Ebbs of the world.   Every scene with dialogue feels like the slightest excuse to set up the next singing/dancing showstopper.  In fact, I’m convinced Sally Hawkins had more spoken lines in THE SHAPE OF WATER than that of the entire cast of this turkey/masterpiece.  

Think of this as 20 great Michael Jackson videos strung together or as my friend Dennis said after a screening, “This movie plays like it’s a trailer of itself”.  Yes, it feels like one big montage with style certainly lording over substance, but what style it displays.  There’s so much epic sweep to every moment, such aggressive choreography, such pageantry and a self-serious call to arms for the “freaks” and the outcasts of the world, that I had to stop myself and ask, “Do I hear the people sing or not?” [LES MIZ fans get an extra point here].  The answer?  YES!  I HEAR YOU!

Jackman and company start things off with a bang with “The Greatest Show”, an on-the-nose introductory song if there ever was one, rivaling Styx’s “Grand Illusion” or Robbie Williams’ “Let Me Entertain You” as Overbearing Kings of Captain Obvious Openers.  Then things turn really creepy as “A Million Dreams” flashes back to Barnum’s childhood when he meets and falls for young Charity, who will grow into his future wife, played by Michelle Williams.  It’s a pretty song, but I get creeped out whenever children sing. It wasn’t a good look in BUGSY MALONE, and ANNIE felt like a bunch of kids pretending to be scrappy while tap dancing on a rolled out board for an audition.  Only little Gavroche in LES MISERABLES worked for me, mainly because he was starving and willing to cut a bitch for his place in revolutionary history.  

Luckily, the filmmakers have ADD and don’t dwell on anything for too long.  We move along hastily to finish the number with Jackman and Williams taking over for the kids.  I would have preferred they simply cover Jackman in shadows instead of CGI-ing the hell out of his face to look like a man in his 20s, but ain’t nothing gonna stop modern movie magic!

Flipping through this section, we see Barnum working out his early ideas for what would become his circus.  He gathers the troops, or troupe that is, assembling society’s throwaways into his iconic Freak Show.  Behold the Bearded Lady (scene stealer Keala  Settle), the Fat Man, the Tattooed Man, and more.  He also finds a business partner in Phillip Carlyle (Zac Efron), who falls for the acrobat Anne (Zendaya), a woman who feels at home with this group because of the racism she faces outside of their circle.  At one point, to boost his business, Barnum teams up with Swedish opera star Jenny Lind (Rebecca Ferguson) to go no tour with her, leaving the circus to Carlyle.  

Ferguson’s big number, “Never Enough” proves mesmerizing, despite the fact that former VOICE contestant Loren Allred does the singing.  Allred may be the Marni Nixon of today, but Ferguson does such a gorgeous lip sync, entirely invested in this song and the implications of its lyrics, that I didn’t care.  Of course, Barnum and Lind’s relationship will complicate things, but trust me, another musical number’s right around the corner to wash away those blahs.  

THE showstopper of the film, “Rewrite The Stars” puts Efron and Zendaya front and center, and like all of the music here, it’s contemporary, anthemic bombast, auto-tuned within an inch of its life, but an unforgettable explosion of pop to hit that sweet spot over and over.  I could watch this pair soar and twirl on an endless loop and be happy.  Efron croons winningly, but Zendaya comes out the real winner here.  A triple threat, she moves wonderfully, sings like an angel (ok, ok, with a lot of studio assistance), but it’s her acting which won me over.  As she did in SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING, she exhibits a beautiful raw fragility, especially when out of makeup.  If ever there was a ONE TO WATCH, it’s her.  

Of course the freaks get their rallying cry in “This Is Me” (Oscar nominated), and it’s a killer number reminiscent of the “I Got Life” number in HAIR or “La Vie Boheme” from RENT, where the disenfranchised finally have their say.  Sure, it’s a tad humorless, but I fully expect this song to be sung from floats at LGBT Pride Parades, replacing “I Am What I Am” for at least the next 3 decades.  In fact, THE GREATEST SHOWMAN may be the gayest movie ever made without having a shred of gay content.  Any film that makes a case for the glory of being different, despite the terrible conditions and abuse the real Barnum put his employees through, deserves a salute.  

Even Michelle Williams, who gamely surrenders to this wafer-thin film, sells it in her big number, “Tightrope”.  The fact that this actor can twirl and float about like everyone else, when she’s built a career around heavy, crying characters, speaks volumes as to the magical qualities in this movie.  

Between her, Zendaya, and Ferguson, I was reminded of ABBA.  They all have sweet, Agnetha/Frida-style voices and every song has a Swedish pop sheen to it.  The circus setting harkens back to that group’s SUPER TROUPER days and is a better, more appropriate backdrop for this style of musical than MAMMA MIA’s dumb Greek setting.  When I hear those Euro-style chords, I think of pageantry and committed dancing, not people shuffling badly on an overly-lit dock.  THE GREATEST SHOWMAN is more ABBA than ABBA!

Whenever I’m in a bad mood, I put on the “Downtown” number from LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, one of the best-realized numbers in musical history, and I feel better.  I don’t watch the whole film, just the great numbers.  I suspect I’ll do the same when THE GREATEST SHOWMAN starts streaming.  Yes, it’s a hot, steaming poo-pile of a movie, but it’s catchy, has a good beat, and you can dance to it!  

In front of us in the theater sat two elderly women.  Throughout the film, they threw their hands up in the air or swayed to the music, pumping their arms back and forth.  It brought them so much joy, I tapped them at the end to tell them their love of the film made my evening.  Is it so bad it’s good, or is it so bad AND so good?  I’ll go with the latter.  Didn’t a lot of people say the same thing about XANADU?