#it hasnt been as bad as the first 5 hours

[termitesisagrandslam]

just wanna eat brownie batter and weep but i know that it'll make my headache worse :/

[glass-clown]

[ID: Three images of Falin Touden from Dungeon Meshi.

The first image is presumably from the Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible. In the top left corner is a fancy border with big, bold text in it that says "3 | Sight". Below to the left has smaller text that says, "Falin has been nearsighted since she was very young, and she has a habit of squinting at things to see them. As an aside, being turned into a chimera has improved her eyesight, and that habit seems to have corrected itself." To the right is a picture from the manga showing a younger looking Falin with her eyes closed and someone off screen pushing her bangs back to lay on her head.

The second and third images are also from the manga of different shots of Falin with her eyes wide open. / END OF ID]

EXCUSE ME

FALIN KEEPS HER EYES CLOSED BECAUSE SHES NEARSIGHTED BUT WHEN SHE BECOMES A CHIMERA SHE OPENS HER EYES

[tannedalien]

HAZBIN HOTEL X READER HC #1

Head canon: what it would be like to date them.

characters: Alastor, angel dust, husk, vox

disclaimer: everything i write about these characters might not be accurate to the actual story, please take everything in the fic with a grain of salt, none of this is canon!!

Alastor

he hasnt been in an actual relationship in a while so being close and vulnerable with someone is quite hard for him, especially as someone who associates emotions with weakness.

First off, its safe to say he adores the ground you walk on. He's in love with everything about you, your clothes, the smell of your hair, your sickly sweet voice. his loves it all.

If there was ever a problem you needed fixing, a person you needed taken care of or even a errand you needed to run he would tend to it himself. he would not let you lift a finger.

PDA is a iffy thing for him, he wouldnt do grand big gestures but maybe a hand on the hip or a few words of affirmation.

everyone in the pride ring quickly learned of yours and radio demon's relationship. And no one dared to mess with you, ofcourse there was people who wanted to test their luck but they would have to pay the price later.

his love language is definitely words of affirmation, he will sweet talk the shit out of you. At night when it's just you two in bed, he will have his hands stroking through your hair whilst you rant to him about your day and he'll reply with sweet nothings

"oh darling, i've missed you all evening"

"you looked ravishing today my dear.."

"mm your hair smells amazing, my love"

Angel Dust

Angel is one of, if not, the horniest mother fuckers out there but somehow, he manages to somewhat make a healthy relationship with someone.

you two are seen as "the bad bitch" couple. you're always out together, always getting into dumb shit together. You'll get yelled at by vaggie at early hours in the morning because the two of you where playing a childish game of tag in the hotel halls.

his love language is definitely physical touch, he'll have his arms slung around your waist almost all the time. Kisses are a MUST every 5 minutes, like this boy will NOT part from you. especially in the mornings when you have to leave for work;

"mmnnnnoooooooo...stayyy for five minutes pleasseeeee"

"but sweets..you're soooo warm"

"sweetheart please, you feel so comfy"

yeah good luck with that.

nights with him are VERY eventful, if it wasn't obvious. You two would usually be at it late hours into the night but sometimes, when you two where too exhausted to fuck like rabbits, he would be sprawled across your lap whilst you stroked his fur.

Husk

Despite his harsh tone and uncompromising demeanor, you understood that Husk wasn't trying to be malicious towards you. It was simply his way of communicating, and you knew that his behavior wasn't personal. Even though he could be abrasive at times, you loved him for his rough edges and authentic personality

You and Husk's time together was mostly spent at the bar. You didn't like to drink much, but you loved seeing him work and make cocktails like a pro. You didn't mind that it wasn't considered a typical date, because you liked spending time with him in whatever way he felt most comfortable.

Husk is not used to receiving compliments, as he didn't often receive them in his past life. When you complimented him, it caught him off guard and he was surprised. But he eventually learned to appreciate it, and it even made him feel a little sentimental.

Despite the difficulty, you were able to help Husk realize that you genuinely cared about him. He had been used to being surrounded by dishonesty and hypocrisy, but you were always sincere and real. He held you in high regard, as you were the only source of light in his life, and he didn't want to lose you.

vox

You were known as a strong and independent person who didn't need assistance from others. You knew how to stand up for yourself, despite being harsh and tough at times. Despite your exterior, no one was aware of the soft spot in your heart that Vox's affection and touch alone could melt away your severity.

He appreciated seeing your affectionate side, as it felt special and intimate, like a shared secret between the two of you. He knew you valued your privacy, and he respected it by never sharing photos or other details on social media. He didn't want to betray your trust.

You were often feared and respected when you were with Vox. People found it hard to believe that someone as intimidating as yourself could have a tender, caring side that was kept hidden from most. Vox was glad that he was the only one who got to see that side of you. He didn't want to share something so special and personal with anyone else.

Quite often, he would call you on the phone, knowing that sweet words could be just as effective as a kiss. He enjoyed hearing how your voice softened from its usual seriousness to a more affectionate tone. He was aware that when he said loving phrases to you, you would blush and smile shyly, and sometimes he even regretted not being able to witness it in person.

"i've missed you today babe.."

"mhm look at my pretty girl/boy!"

[hauntedwizardmoment]

this is gonna sound soooooo insane also i'm like very pleasantly buzzed rn.

but i think porter really gets off on hearing about jace's experiences with Other Guys. like i hc that jace is the first guy porter's fucked but porter is the latest in a long line of jace's hookups (but the only one that got serious/lasted longer than a few weeks). so like here's how it goes down

porter, cocky as hell, asks how he compares to the other guys jace has fucked during the post-coital cigarette break/totally not an excuse to cuddle. and jace (meaning it as a compliment, ) is like "oh yeah definitely top 5. and wayyyyy better than my first time". and like porter Knew that he wasnt jace's first but it's different when he hears that he's only top 5 and not The Best.

so like porter starts like. interrogating jace about his first time and jace is like "dude chill out i was in high school it was literally so awkward and bad. it was the quarterback--" [insert porter about to make fun of him for having a thing for being pushed around] "--of the hudol hellions. we were at a house party, there wasnt even any good music playing"

and they like laugh about it but porter cant stop thinking about. jace with other guys. so another time when theyre lying in bed porter brings it up like. hey you said top 5. who am i behind

and jace is like "well why do you wanna know. the sex is great i'm definitely satisfied" and porter is like "just humor me" so jace tells him about back in college with this 7 ft tall goliath who was in a local rock band and was the shittiest boyfriend ever but had the best dick game in the world. and he talks about the time they spent the whole day in bed fucking intermittently, trying out different positions/toys/etc. and as jace is telling porter this. porter is getting mad. like verging on a rage. but he's hard again. and jace is like. ohhhhhh you are SUCH a pervert. but okay.

so he gets even more explicit and starts talking about how he got edged for hours, pushed into complete overstimulation, was begging for cock by the end of it, and atp porter tries to get on top of him because he is So going to make a valiant attempt to make jace forget that this Other Guy existed. but somehow jace gets porter on his back and straddles him. pins him down to the bed, maybe puts his hand on porter's throat, threatening to give him a Shocking Grasp, and keeps talking until porter's rutting against him and comes all over himself. and jace is filing all of this away for blackmail purposes. especially how much porter likes being humiliated and found lacking.

so the next time porter's pissing jace off/jace wants it Hard. he just casually mentions one of the other hookups that porter hasnt been better than. this makes porter fuck him twice as rough, leave massive red and purple bruises and bite marks all over him because he's a competitive freak who can't settle for being the best lay jace has in the present day, he has to be the best jace has EVER had. it's the only decent replacement for being the ONLY one jace has ever had.

also while we're thinking about jace w/ other guys. please imagine grunge jace getting fucked in a dingy nightclub bathroom while nine inch nails plays in the background.

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

wait bbg r u ok😭why the brain scan

ack okay boutta spill my life story one you and we'll just use this as reference whenever someone asks about this from now on

so about 2 years ago i got an concussion. its really embarrassing but i was getting in the car and ended up smacking my head above my left ear on the frame of the car door. Apparently the part of your head near your ears and on the side of your head is the most vulnerable and i jiggled by brain.

at first i brushed it off bc like its not a big deal so i hit my head a lil but it kept hurting for hours and then my vision started to go double and fuzzy so i looked up the concussion symptoms and figured it out. my parents didn't believe me bc the incident wasnt a typical concussion sorta thing so i went to sleep and woke up, head still hurting, and went to school.

at school the next day i was trying to play it off but i couldn't see very well, i was super dizzy, nauseous and my head really hurt so my bsf told me i was seeing the school nurse weather i wanted to or not.

i go to the nurse and tell her what happened and that im 99% sure i have a concussion. she feels my head, says theirs no bump which means i can't have a concussion. this is factually incorrect however bc just bc theres no external swelling doesn't mean that theres no internal swelling or damage at all so honestly fuck her. she gave me a pain pill and sent me back to class.

the rest of the school day i am in agony and cant focus on anything and just kinda sit there on the verge of tears. i finally get home and i break down crying bc my head hurts so bad and i can barely see and the light hurts my eyes like fucking hell and i think im going to die.

my dad then asks if ive been sleeping with my earbuds in and maybe thats why my head hurts and i tell him no stfu i have a concussion. My parents finally do some research and call our neighbor whose a EMT and finally accept that my brain has jiggled.

they felt super bad about not believe him and now they swear to trust me on this sorta stuff i swear theyre good parents.

anyways the protocol for concussions is to:

not read

not do strenuous activity

not do strenuous mental activity

be away from bright light

do not look at screens

and rest until you are fully sure that you are 100% healed

so i more or less did all of that. however i am a dumbass. My parents took my phone away to make sure i wouldnt use it but they forgot about my computer. anyways i was reading a really good fanfic at the time and i had just left on a cliffhanger so i cheated and went and read some when i wasnt supposed too. I dont know if i still would be fucked up if i hadn't read it? but ik that i did. and now im fucked. but as someone pointed out recently that fanfic literally changed my brain chemistry. so thats pretty cool. it is really good i reread it after my concussion like 3 times.

Anyway i was down for about a week and a half and after that i finally went to the doctor they confirmed that it was a concussion for sure and then cleared me to go back to school.

the first day back at school the first class i had was English and we had to read some sort of story or excerpt from some old english dude you know the drill.

For some context i've always been very above reading level. I started reading early and i read a lot. to the point where a lot of ppl app thought i was mute cause all i did was read. I had very high comprehension skills and was tested above average constantly my whole childhood.

So when i come back to school and i'm reading this passage i notice oh man this is really hard for some reason. Why can't i focus on the words? at the time i assumed maybe i was just still a little rattled but it hasnt gone away sense and i still really struggle with it. I have to reread passages about 5 times to understand anything, which i never had to do before. I'll have to read things out loud a lot. I struggle a lot with reading black text on white backgrounds because it doesnt like to stick in my brain at all. it just completely doesn't compute as words.

I took the ACT last year and while i didnt score BADLY (i got a 26) i didn't score as well as i wanted too. during the whole ACT i was on the verge of tears because the room was lit in very white light and the ACT papers were black text on a white paper so i could barely understand a word that i was reading and ended up having to whisper the questions to myself (very embarrassing because i was in a giant auditorium with about 70 people in it) and i still skipped a lot of questions due to the fact that i was so overwhelmed. I knew there was something wrong but we didn't really take any steps to figure it out due to the fact that my grades were still okay and yk like insurance and due to the fact that i was just really embarrassed about it and didn't want to talk about it.

I also stared to get these weird headaches. migraines run in my family so i wasnt too worried about it but heres a diagram hold on.

thats where the concussion was. Then i started to get this shooting sporadic pain in the back of my head. it would only last for a few seconds and didn't happen super frequently so i didn't think much of it but it would always happen in the same exact spot about here:

its sort of stabbing inwards which is hard to show on a diagram but as im typing this is just happened again lmaoo.

anyways i sort of put it off for a a year and a half and didn't think much of it which is why its kinda hard to say what my symptoms really are due to the fact that ive gotten used to them? i would get bouts of dizziness or nausea and just kind of assume that it was my cycle even though i may or may not be bleeding at the time.

but in the last month or so things have started to get a bit more concerning imo. so the stabbing pain is happening more now. ive started to slur my speech a little bit. Its more like my mouth gets sleepy and forgets how to make words so it kinda just skips some important motions, like i'll be saying hello my tongue will say o when the rest of my mouth will say the h sound and ive had to talk slower recently due to the fact that im having to think thru all the movements my mouth make when i talk.

Also im not sure if this is related but ive also been writing weird? like we all write letters in a certin way and all of the sudden its like my brain is trying to change it up without asking me? i wrote an F earlier and i usually write it starting at the end of the curved part and up and down and then cross it. but for some reason i started writing it with a downward stroke for no reason which catches me really off guard every time it happens.

some other things that happen a lot are

brain fog

a weird sort of semi dissociative state that could just be manipulative day dreaming

my brain feeling like its a few inches to the left/up/down

the left side of my jaw being tight

my legs give out sometimes but ive always had weak ankles so may not be related

i step on my own toes but tbh i have very long toes

and more im sure but i can't think of any rn

and again these could be related and they could not be but the thing is that i dont know anything? so hopefully i can get an appt with a neurologist and get a scan to figure it out.

according to the doctor i saw this morning its very weird for concussions to have a weird drawn out affect like this but yk

hopefully its nothing serious

but thats the gist :D

[australet789]

Hi, i need some job advice, specially since im working with children

There's a special kid in my workshop. Not sure exactly what he has, his grandma told us is ADHD.

We only have 4 classes with these children, 1 hour the workshop or the school starts yelling at me. And this kid hasnt been extremely bad behaving (i hugged him when he wanted to, i gave him attention).

But i have other 13 kids that were very bothered by him

And today was a disaster

Because the kid threw something towards a classmate. I told him to not do it and apologize to the little girl he attacked. He did and tried to hug her (because that's what he does) and obviously she didnt want to. I told the kid to respect her decision. He nodded

And then, 5 minutes later, he did it AGAIN

I had other kids asking for attention as well. I only have 1 hour to do the experiments. The parents were already at the door looking for their other kids and i wasnt done because ths kid kept coming at me, forcing me to hug him, grabbing my lab coat and my microphone.

I called his grandma, first to take him out of the classroom so the other kids could finish the experiment, but later let her stay so he could finish.

He started making a tantrum, wanting my attention again, and the grandma wanted me to give him attention when i was focused on other kids.

I had one assistant and the coordinator of the school there and they couldnt handle them.

And the kid was trying over and over to hug him but i had to reject him because i needed to finish

Later, i got called out by my boss, saying the parent of the kid called her, saying i was "cold", that my behaviour was horrible and was horrible towards the kid. That she was ashamed i had to call the grandma to call the kid down, that it was embarrasing i did it in front of the other parents and i that should apologize.

I'm going to have to do it next week.

But i need advice with this. What should i done if he attacks another classmate again? Apparently he was like that the previous workshop with another teacher. I repeat that i only have 1 hour/1 day a week with them. I'm not their tutor and i know the kid didnt do it out of malice.

But the other kids are scared/tired of him and i have heard them saying they don't want to come to another workshop if this kid is in there. A parent complained as well.

What should i do.

[crazylittlejester]

Hi I don't know if tumblr's eaten it or not but I sent you some writing (Wars torture) a few days ago and I don't want to be pushy or anything but I just wanted to know what you think-

If tumblr's eaten it and you didn't get it, I can just send it again but yeah

- sadistic anon (hoping to not be a bother)

You’re not a bother dw! And tumblr didn’t eat it, I’m just really behind on answering asks I’m sorry💔

I did see it in my inbox when it first came in and I read a small part of it, but I’ll read the whole thing and answer it when I have the time! I love getting asks from everyone and talkin with yall and seeing what you guys share with me, but sometimes the longer asks take a lot more energy to read cos I’m dyslexic and they take me longer to get to. I still absolutely love them, please keep sending them because they literally make my day, but I do have to wait until I have time to sit down and actually focus on reading them because they’re not like, 5 sentences I can quickly read and respond to while at work or walkin around alskdkkd

I do my absolute best to answer every single ask y’all send in because what you share is important to you and therefore is important to me and it honestly makes me really happy to know that people enjoy sharing their thoughts and ideas and headcanons and fic snippets with me :) and i really want to make sure i have the proper time to read through it because if you went through the trouble to type all that out and send it to me, I’m gonna take the time to make sure i read every word 🫶

but yes i saw it!! it hasnt been eaten!! dw!! just give me like, an hour (because i know if i say ten minutes ill get distracted and then feel bad 😭)

[schibi12]

I just watched Spiderman Across the Spider-verse and hoy shit this movie is a work of art and we are in an animation renaissance!!!

The story is just a great follow-up to the first one, firstly with Miles sense of self not only as Spider-Man but as his own person, love how they made Gwen to a co-protagonist and the character arc she gets, secondly how they connect it with the history and lore of Spiderman and how it gets meta with the canon, and it's a big ol love letter to the mythos of spiderman.

Characters are all great and lovable, some old and some new but my favorite newcomer has to be Spiderman India he is such a fun and charming character, honorable mention Spider-Punk he stole every scene that he was in especially with his paper cutout animation.

Speaking of animation, holy mother forking shirt balls!! What can i say that hasnt already been praised!! This movie is a visual and technical marvel, the fact that each universe and spiderperson has it's own distinct art/visual style from Gwen Stacy's watercolor style that changes with what the characters going through or feeling, a lego universe (nice reference to Lord and Miller who worked on the Lego movie), the renaissance sketch style for the Vulture, the fact that you can see the sketch layer of The Spot and how his style changes with how much more powerful he gets and just so much more like kudos and applause to the animators who i know overworked their butt offs and i know some quit during the production and i do hope that the studio treats them better for the sequel.

Even though it's a 2 hour 20 minute movie you don't really feel it, the pacing is great in this movie my one problem with this movie it's the ending, it's not bad by any means is just leaves me wanting for more to know what happens and i wouldnt mind a cliffhanger ending if it wasn't so dependent on the third movie, like i wished this movie could have an ending and be it's own movie than it being a 2 piece with the third movie, i dont know if i made myself clear.

Overall an amazing sequel, with outstanding animation and visual and with a superb story, i give it 4.5 spiderwebs out of 5 spiderwebs

🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️

[20jadw05]

I’ve always been the kind of person who doesn’t want to make others feel bad just because I feel bad. This is why why when i always try to stay positive, no matter what or at least be very funny about it. I don’t want my friends to feel sad because I’m sad, they already have so many issues and they should have at least one person in there life who is always going to be super understanding, and caring, happy. I’ve always yearned to be that person.

I’ve been so stressed lately. I’m working doing hard wood floors, a job I hate, and I had to work 60 hours last week, one of those days being from 8 am to 1 am, a 16 hour day. Ive been so stressed lately. Thursday was my birthday, had to work in it too, didn’t even get off early. And this is the first year I’ve had to work in my birthday, Wei did the party on the weekend like normal though. It’s Saturday, the day of the party, I usually want a small party with just the old people down the road and my immediate family coming.

I felt tired the entire time leading up to the part, everything was so quiet the whole time. I don’t mean to sound greedy but I only got $20 during the party, every other year it had been much more. I feel like it was the worst party I’ve had.

I was still excited though, I was going to hangout with friends that evening in an unrelated party. These are my younger friends, just a couple years younger than me. I try to be like a fun supporting older sibling to them. Anyways, I was very excited and I made cookies, and absurd amount, at least 6 dozen and I was going to bring 5 dozen of them. The party started at 5 pm. I drive around visiting store while waiting when I noticed a message. They asked me if I would be fine not coming since the parents put a limit on how many people could come due to weather. I said I was fine with not coming.

I wasn’t fine.

I let them know that if anything changes to let me know and I waited. I waited, hoping that they would message back saying how they changed their mind, waited for them to say that they know it’s late but if I still want to come over I can.

that hasnt happened.

I started thinkinh about how I wished i wouldve let them know earlier I spent so long making cookies dozens of cookies for them. I wish I wouldve told them how excited I was to go. I cant now though. It would bw wrong of me to tell them now, I dont want to guilt them jnto letting me go, I dont want them to feel forced.

I realized I felt sad all day. All the stress from the weeks before, how unimportant my birthday felt and the gloominess of today hit me all at once.

for the first tjme in years I cried, i had supressed it for so long but now it was just too much. It was more than just crying. I could hardly breathe, I think I was hyperventilating. I was in my car in a dark parking lot crying for the first time in years, cryjng so hard I was hyperventilating for a solid 10 minutes. I dont even know if I can go home right now, I dont want anyone to know i was crying.

I really had to put this somewhere because i want everyone and no one to know. I wont tell my friends about this unless the find my tumblr.

[e17omm]

Playing GI Natlan ACt 3, gonna put my thoughts down below. I write as I play so I dont forget things, but they're all in sequence.

animations are still incredibly stiff and robotic. Good to see that hasnt improved at all.

still a lot of chatter and filler and empty moments but its not that bad so far.

Granny Ive never met this Ororon kid, but I guess thats just her personality.

you know what's a forgotten thing? Elemental Sight.

What this? Am I getting my hopes up that anything different will happen this Archon Quest? Or will we completely antagonise the Fatui without hearing them out again?

"I will explain my goals and motivations to you. I dont believe you should blindly be helping the Pyro Archon" THANK YOU. We've been blindly helping people for so long while completely not listening to what the other side wants. The side that, you know, says they want to bring down Celestia, the place that has the Unknown God, the reason we are stuck in here? Similarly, isnt that also the Abyss Order's goal? The one our sibling seems to be leading? WHY ARE WE NOT EVEN TRYING TO LISTEN TO THEM?!

Well we told Paimon, there goes my hope of hearing the Traveler speaking...

We cant have a fucking conversation with the Fatui. No no, we gotta talk to the Archons! Why did I get my hopes up...

oh yeah pick what you want - the story to get interesting and progress and possibly have some uniqueness from the rest of the nations, or see granny get drunk. IM NOT DOING HER FUCKING CHARACTER QUEST.

I dont mind if we get to know characters in the main story, but why are we comforting granny and watching her ramble while drunk and all this when THERE ARE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. Oh and of course the classic "we dont know what the fatui want but instead of listening to them fully we go and spill to the archon!". I dont like this writing. Its been so similar for 4 years.

Thank god we learned some priority from the first act of Natlan.

holy fucking shit how did that stealth sequence make it into the script? Did we really need to see it step by step with all the waiting for the opertunity to move undetected? THAT DID NOT NEED TO BE FOUR MINUTES. ITS COMPLETELY SCRIPTED. I DIDNT MOVE AT ALL. ITS FOUR MINUTES OF "gotta sneak here, gotta wait here, gotta sneak now, gotta wait now" WHY WAS THIS FOUR MINUTES LONG?!?! It could have been 1 minute at most and still captured their teamwork! Oh and of course they cant animate her running up the trees so they just did it in first person before instant transmissioning into the premade animations. This shouldnt have taken up as much time as it did. In isolation, fine, whatever, but boy does Hoyo like taking their sweet time just panning and having silence and dragging things out.

.................................................................................................................................................................... That was just all setup.

The quest could have ended an hour sooner if granny didnt interupt our meeting with the Captain.

Is there more? did act 4 come with this?

OKAY ACT 4 DID SHIP WITH THIS.

Phew thank fucking god. I put my controller down as soon as "act 3 finished" popped up. That act spent so much time accomplishing nothing. That should have been a granny and chiha character quest, like back in Inazuma where you have to do character quests before continuing the archon quest.

That was the content of Natlan Act 3. Its 95% character quests that has to happen in this timeframe, and 5% actual plot progression.

Those character quests could have been in 5.0 and left us off with going to Mauvika to tell her about the Captain's plan.

Okay but, Act 3 was character quest filler, im gonna make another one of these for Act 4, and I am going to scream if the plot isnt moving forward after this.

... I should probably clarify that I didnt find act 3 inherently bad, its just character quests for the majority of it and I dont think it fits as an Archon Quest.

Also I enjoy the Captain's character a lot. Fucking finally the Fatui is potrayed as something other than scheming evil schemes and a threat to everyone and not to be trusted for a single word.

[quasonn]

for anyone willing to read, i have a little personal note. its not sad just a little bit in the beginning .

I lost well actually i ghosted and quit my job as a lawyer in 2022 after a bad string of events resulting in my complete mental breakdown, i was dead depressed and hallucinating visually and hearing stuff too, did the whole therapy thing till i could no longer afford and eventually left the city to move back home, in my tiny hill-station. I have accepted I am a people pleaser and regardless of what people say i like it, just trying to find a balance between wrecking myself and pleasing people, however with the breakdown i lost a lot of good friends which made me feel even shittier and even those that left behind are the finest people i know but even they couldnt really figure how to deal with the things i am going through, parents included, though i had suicidal feelings, i am a positive golden retriever and look forward to life, the polar opposite nature of my issues and myself is prolly why the doctor slapped bpd on my forehead as soon as i started talking to him. however this is not a sad post guys, as the months have gone by, I have accepted that it is not easy to live like this nor will people will truly understand you or your problems, maybe you will be fortunate enough to find them in your problems and i hope you do but its not going to happen for me, but I am fine with it now. I cannot return working as a lawyer, i cant explain this to my friends and family but i cannot be in a profession where someones dignity as a person is literally based on the efforts i put and i no longer have the confidence to hold such a position any longer when a random flip in the switch will leave me fetal position under the bed for hours trying to shut off the world. so i am good with it, i still dont have a job but im working to learn new skills, i even have some new goals, the first one being getting a job, and travelling....but really why i wanted to share this note with you guys is because i met a girl yesterday, and i didnt know it was possible to have the stomach squishy squishy feelings at 28, but it fell great, she was great, pretty, adorable, funny....i might need to learn more adjectives to describe, i have been single for so long because i thought i cant be in a relationship when i hold such a dumbass mental condition but i dont know guys, i mean i dont have a job yet and there is the brain being a fuzz bucket, but i am not sad nor am i thinking pessimistic thoughts at all, in fact i am thinking, shit i could make things work, idk i feel rather optimistic. I feel in love. God I am gushing as i am writing this. okay 'in love' is a stretch but i was making up nicholas spark worthy monologues in my head when i returned home yesterday lol. I was very drunk though yesterday, it was a friendly outing, and a friend of mine brought her along. I wanted to share this with my best friends really cause you know this boii hasnt been like this since like 2016, but one had a recent breakup and the other best friend is the partner she broke up with, so i cant even send her a 'sup' before it goes into a full blown, "how can he do this?" "How did she do that?" its been 5 months already and i find myself third wheeling their trauma too post break up. so here i am in tumblr, hungover and sharing with a bunch of strangers how i met a girl yesterday and since then i have been cartwheeling around town cause the giddy wont stop. lol thenkz for the listen!! this has been fun.

[midnightmisadventures]

Ive had so many fun dreams lately but for some reason i’m coming to write about the scary ones

Um been having nightmares. Last night and today. And they feel really heavy, but important. And frankly i do hate them. Please no more nightmares. But maybe if i write about them i’ll prove to spirit that im listening and then they’ll stop 

First Dream: 

Last night i had a dream where the fam of 5 was traveling, driving road trip vibes probably to florida. We were all together packing the car and idk how but all of a sudden erikka was missing. And we knew immediately there was foul play. We were in a sketchy area ad there were cars going in and out and we were afraid she was kidknapped for trafficking. It was so anxiety inducing, and i tried to keep praying and have a positive attitude that she was strong, she would find a way out, she would show make it home. I kept hoping she would show up any minute. But as hours past i kept getting more worried that i’d never see her again, that something terrible happened. And i was crying and and already grieving. In this dreamverse apparently something similar had happened to dalvin a while back. And erikka used some sort of manifestation power to bring him home safely. So i felt like absolutely garbage that i couldnt do the same for her, i was beating myself up. I kept saying “im supposed to be good at this, i feel useless” 

Next Dream: 

This one was so so very odd. Basically we were at chip and it was the anniversary of this well known historical environmental event. And it happened near the west end fairgrounds or something. So there was a lot of hype and press in our area during this.... 100th anniversary or something like that. I don’t really remember, but there were 10 guys all brothers and they won a contest? or something? from someone in....ohio or some random state. Back in the early 1900s. Anyway, an almost catastrophic event was witnessed by a bunch of people. A huge asteroid hurdled towards earth and grazed the side of it (near west end fairgrounds) and chipped a piece of land. It was marvelous that only a few inches kept it from hitting earth directly and splitting the earth in half. Or doing dinosaur level damage or something else crazy. It couldve killed a ton of people or been an end to humanity. So whatever....a hundred years later or so, they were able to do a super techy demonstration and show what almost happened and what didnt happen through like a hologram projector and the whole town watched and it was really snowy outside and i wasnt wearing pants. It was just trippy to think about how something like that could happen at any moment and kill us. For some reason i made the comment “it always scared me that the fact that an asteroid hasnt hit earth with humans on it is completely by chance and hasnt happened yet which means odds are it WILL happen soon. But i always forget about THIS historic moment, which makes me feel safer in that something technically DID happen” 

Final Dream: 

Okay so again, at chip present day. And i wake up with a bunch of messages from people from high school saying to call....our class prez. Which was so odd, ive never had a personal relationship with him. But everyone was blowing up all socials and talking about something crazy that happened. His twin sister reached out to me and said to call him. Like PV social media was going bonkers!! So i was busy all day, it was always ET’s birthday maybe for a date reference? And the more i ignored it, the more people hit my line. Even claire, messaged me by the end of the day saying “call class prez he’s really not doing well” and i was like WOAH. Cause that means people wanted me to call him so bad that they had reached out to my friends who didnt even go to pv to get my attention. I told erikka “idk why they want me, is it because im good at saying calming words” and she said idk it seemed more specific like he wants to “apologize.” SO then im like what?? By time i call him its 1:03am. But he answered and apparently. A couple of kids from our grad class passed away and class prez was really emotional about it. I remember one being Austin H. And he was so sad and unstable that he made a comment online saying something along the lines of “this is worse than gilaine maxwell creating slave camps for black people” ???? Bro i have no idea. 

So class prez gets ALOT of flack for this comment. I mean its career ruining, he’s getting death threats. So maybe he wanted individual calls from black peers to hear their genuine opinion? So we’re on the phone and he’s profusely apologizing, saying what he said was unacceptable. He said “im sure youve heard my ghislane maxwell comment” i said no...havent got the chance. So he plays me a historic video about supposedly the “actual history” of these slave camps he was referencing. The video had this eerie 1900s black racist cartoon vibe that makes my blood curl. It was about these talented black people being condemmed and found guilty for things they didnt do. The evidence was so blatantly there and still everyone convicted them and sent them to be tortured and die at these camps. It was EXTREMELY unsetteling to watch and to be watching with class prez. Also in the dream, it felt inescabable and scary and for a little it felt like i was there. Like it was playing in my chip bedroom but i went top bunk and i could feel the sticks they were beating the black people with. It felt soooooo evil and sinister, and seriously idk what ancestors are communicating with me via dreams or what they want because this was DARK. So then class prez is asking for my take, and why it matters, and why its bad. And im saying he obvious stuff. The videos message was basically like “it didnt matter if black people were educated, doctors, laywers, scientists, hey were gonna slaughter and torture us anyway” so i didnt know if the vibe was like “be greatful that black people are allowed to have careers?? or get vengeance on white people....it was just so intense. 

So when the video was over and i got off the call, i was so uncomfortable and unsettled. Felt like i had waken up from a nightmare or finished a scary movie. So i desperately tried to turn all the lights back on but ofc it was a dream so everything was dim. Still didnt catch it though. I tried finding my parents for comfort. 

Awful right? No more nightmares 

[namuneulbo]

week sixty-seven

OKAY woah. crazy week. although mainly friday was crazy lol. im just gonna do a short highlight then tell yall ab friday in more detail.

- v ghosted me. or well, he hasnt been in on the app in days so it could be that but im gonna count it as ghosting considering he MUST notice we arent talking, right?

- started talking to j. hes a slow replier although he did tell me quite early on that he is so i dont mind it AS much but ya. i wanna talk to himmmmm more.

- in general ive been getting more matches recently, esp w men. idk how im suddenly in such an era.

- won music quiz ???? me, c, f, p and v shared the price. s had sat w out team and helped us but he wasnt officially in our team so he didnt drink anything. i had mixed vibes ab s but i quite like him now, hes really nice but he reminds me a bit of k but i dont want to think of him as shittily as i do of him just bc he kind of reminds me of him manner-wise. manner-wise as in the way he speaks, not acts.

- ms concert !!!! so good !!! shes so talented !!!!!!!!

okay, so... friday. the day had come. were all doomed.

i went to helsinki by train early in the morning and i arrived in helsinki around 11:30. i had forgotten my sandwiches i had made the night before so i was starving. i went to hesburger and had some food. i was sooooo bored for the like,, 5 hours of freetime i had before the show. i went to check out where the venue was and i was feeling quite happy but my ears started hurting so bad bc it was cold so i after finding the venue i had to find somewhere to warm up for a bit which ended up being in some health center. the area around the venue was so,,, lame. like there was nothing to do at all and it was raining and it was cold so walking outside wasnt my fav activity. i decided to go buy some food for the train ride home and then i struggled figuring out what to do bc like,, i had like two hours of freetime left so i COULDVE gone back to the city center and done some fun stuff but it was kind of that thing of when u have plans at like 4 pm so u cant do ANYTHING before that even though u realistically have the time to do it. yk?

it started raining and i was not feeling myself at all and i had the urge to cry bc i was so overwhelmed but i ended up walking around in a light panic then i went to the venue and just waited outside for like an hour. a group of brits in doomed hoodies came out of a van and walked into the venue and bro i was starting to get nervous lol everything started feeling so real.

the venue opens. ppl rush in and i let some ppl go before me since i didnt want to be first at the m&g. we got a neon orange wristband and then were guided to the wardrobe. i put away my stuff and then went to buy merch. i got the save the bees tee and its so cute. my card declined at first bc of some area ban thingy so i had to fix that real quick before buying it. the staff were so nice though!

i had to pick up my makeup from the wardrobe bc i forgot it in my bag and also i was unsure whether we were meeting dan w masks on or not so in case we werent wearing masks i wanted to fix my makeup. we ended up meeting him w masks on though so i wouldve been fine.

i go to the m&g queue. i didnt even know it had started until i saw dans back on the side of the screen separating him from the queue. he wore a nice outfit. some sweater w a skeleton on the back and ripped jeans. very dan. very on brand. i had a lil freak out and fangirled by myself lol i was so aaaaaa

i was talking w n for a good bit during the queueing and in the midst of it she said i should ask what his fav pokémon is bc we had been talking ab that a couple of days ago while i was making hama bead stuff for him. i told n id ask him to send her a voice message from my phone. n got excited ab it but told me to not waste my time w him on her but i was so sure i wanted to do this so i just set that as a lil goal.

when i was close to the front i stopped talking w n for a bit and just tried to calm down a bit. i put on the screen rec on my phone when the last person in front of me left to go meet him and once i got to walk in we immediately went in for a hug and bro i was so awkward bc he wanted to hug me above my shoulders bc yk,,, hes tall but i tried doing one of those twisty ones where one arm goes above and one under and broooo. THE TWISTY HUGS R NOT EVEN GOOD LIKE BRO NOOOOOO... anyways, before i start crying ab that, lets continue. he immediately asks if i want anything signed and i hand him my pride flag and make a little joke ab how i thought it was on brand. he asks if the letter in my hand was for him and i misinterpret it as if the pride flag was for him so i just answer awkwardly like “no but i brought u a letter” like OKAY GURL....... anyways... i hand him the letter and make a lil comment on the taemin sticker i used to seal it w. he laughs ab it and says i have taste. he goes in to reach for my phone and asks if i want him to take the pictures and i just say yes and tried to make him notice my cringey wallpaper of him and phil, yk,,, thinking i could make a lil joke ab how i have it as a joke and that i dont have a literal photo of him and phil from like 2009 thinking its the shit (although,,, it kind of is the shit). anyways, he doesnt notice it and just takes a few pics. 5/6 turn out blurry but theyre all cute so its fine, still ly dan lol he starts ending the interaction and being all like “well, i hope u enjoy the show tonight!” and i reply w like “also-” and he was listening attentively again and being all like “yeah?” instead of scurrying me away (bro i feel like im making both him and me sound like douchebags but it was a pleasant experience, it was just a very hectic one). i tell him shortly that me and n met bc of him and phil and he was like “really??” and i asked him if he could send a voice message to her telling her his fav pokémon bc she loves pokémon. hes like “yes, ofc!” and then i hand him my phone w me and ns chat open. he starts a message but doesnt record it so he has to do it again and he reacted so cutely when he realized it wasnt recording PLSS hes so cute. he records it again and then i thank him and he goes in for another hug before i leave and aghhhh i was so shakey afterwards. also, HE SMELLS SO GOOD????? its very obviously lush so i have a mission to find that exact lush product now bc WOAH. i smelt like him for a solid 30 mins afterwards, it was crazy.

the show was so good and my seat was great!!! im so happy w everything and the pre-show pl was amazing. sticker, famous last words, his own diss track??? i loved it. so happy. i love dan sm!!!

sotw: the cure - apart

[guardians-of-exo]

The Heirs ⬇️

[jorjmush]

breaking news: idiot with a fish hits 255 and kills god heres the part where i do a personal review all parts of the arcane river story

dont take these seriously

the adversary as a character 0/10: words dont describe how bad he is "...Oh!" "...Ah!" shut up youre an insult to every maplestory class

lost temple keeper + vanishing journey: 7/10

i did this in 2017 but most of the content is fetch quests and an introduction to completely new things you have no attachment to maybe i should give it a little more credit as the kao twist being revealed for the first time was kinda cool and the talk amongst the fandom

reverse city: 7/10 apparently i did this in 2021? i guess that makes sense because this didnt exist in 2017 why is earth real and called friends world still not invested in the story by this point but i liked t-boy

chu chu island: 6/10 this is when i came back so i actually think this story is quite fun and i liked the characters involved but in the grand scheme of things, its not good

feels like filler, wasnt truly important until yum yum was added YEARS LATER, feels like a waste of 5 levels when i still feel like you should fight the black mage at 250 instead of 255

yum yum island: 9/10 cooooooooool cooooooooooooooooooool has the same fun and and loveable whimsy of chu chu but this time it sets up something sinister and adds to the plot

the afrien fusion, the kaling reveal, chefs kiss

lachelein + crack of subconscious: 8/10 honestly i wasnt very invested in this lucid just makes this interesting

plus im a shade so i get extra dialogue

also this town name sucks gms hates non-english words

arcana: 7/10

rock spirits and i love the spirit of harmony was this just setup for tana

morass: 10/10

alright we getting into PLOT jean deserved better, tana deserved better, arkarium deserved what he got, shey deserved better, kritias deserved better

the flying fish TALKS and the moment where he takes the form of jean and shows himself to tana is so AMAZING i love this TRAGIC STORY

the maps are awful though especially if youre low on arcane force which i was

esfera: 8/10

why dont i actually remember much of what happened here i guess the information of tana has been so stuck in my head it doesnt feel like it was presented as new information to me anymore lots of nice exclusive dialogue here though and we get to meet ollie sellas: 11/10 i will cry right here right now this is such a good story with good atmosphere and pacing i CARE for both ollie and shubert greatly

moonbridge: 8/10

this is when the pacing and structure becomes spotty because it was part of the event i chose not to participate in which means i didnt get the full experience theres just so much dread in this questline so many losses from not being ready to fight the black mage the pacing towards the second half is bad though the cutoff is so strange because it feels like you have another 30 minutes to go when really you have 5 labyrinth of suffering: 8/10

hillas beats the shit out of your morale for an hour the dread continues and continues it shall tons of exclusive dialogue, always a favorite limina: 5/10 i feel like im supposed to feel more i feel like im supposed to do more all of the bosses are very weak which is very unsatisfying, orchid is tsundere and says the adversary hasnt lost anything which ranges from maybe true to absurdly false depending on who you are the claudine vs cygnus scene is legitimately pointless, nothing can describe in words how pointless it truly is the flying fish DIES and then suddenly you have to fight the black mage the black mage whos phases last 4 seconds in story mode i only ever got hit once

the adversary dying did make me actually sad though because everyone else thinks youre truly dead the flying fish comes back (yay) and then its revealed NO ONE DIES? and most of the soldiers get UNSNAPPED? the story finishes with orchid being tsundere again and your idiot of a character sitting on the flying fish leaving the scene

i feel like im in a cartoon

kaos memory: 8/10 a tragedy of a character destined to die kao deserved better shade aftermath: 10/10 thank god he gained a reason to live conclusion: why did i even type this out im just ready to move on to the grandis story

[technowoah]

Be Okay

Dream won't drink water and it gets out of hand

- Dream x gen! Neutral reader

- Anon requested!

Prompts!

4) "I never fucking wanted this/that!"

5) "Please stop talking for one damn second!"

11) "It's not important apparently"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, angery dream. This is kinda a blurb instead- not proofread

Masterlist

You thought about knocking on the door softly to alert Clay of your presence but then immediately thought against it. You didnt even want to go in there and interrupt him and his editing process because he told you strictly not to interrupt him because he was focused and he didn't want to lose his focus.

Clay was a hard worker, and everyone knew that. You admired that about him, you admired his dedication to his fans and his work, but you were worried about him right now. He hasn't came out of his room in about an hour and a half. Clay hasn't eaten all day, and hasnt taken care of himself.

You came over his house earlier that day to see him still in his bed. You laid in bed with him, which he accepted your hugs and cuddles, but when you asked what was wrong he never answered or just brushed oft the question.

Now Clay was stuck at his computer and the first time you tried to give him some water he brushed you off saying. "Dont bother me right now, I'm trying to stay focused." At the time that hurt you, and it still does so you didn't enter his room until now.

You stood at his door with some water and some pizza rolls. You were nervous of how he would react, but he needed to take a break. You wanted him to relax and not stare at the bright computer all day. His eyes were probably strained and he wasnt taking care of his body.

You gained the courage to knock on the door infront of you first time softly and then the next a little bit harder. Both times there was no response, so you decided to go inside of his room. The only light in the room was coming from the daylight outside from the open windows. At least he was getting a good breeze. Clay didnt even spare you a glance and continued typing and clicking on the computer.

"Clay." You said cautiously.

"Yeah?" He responded bluntly. You didn't want to already be annoyed by his attitude.

"I made some pizza rolls and got you a bottle of water. You need to eat."

Clay scoffed. "No I don't, Im fine. Im breathing."

"I need you to eat though!" You placed the food and water near his keyboard and crossed your arms.

"I. Dont. Need. To. Let me work." Clay said facing you for a minute and then went back to his work.

"I have been letting you work for the past half and hour! Can you take a break? I know Im being annoying, but you need to take care of yourself."

Clay looked at the food near his computer and took the bowl and held it out for you to take from him, but you didn't take the bowl put of his hand.

"Can you just take this shit away." He said grumbling.

"There's no need to swear, why can't you just take a break and eat? Its not gonna hurt your process."

"The reason I want you to take this is because I'm not starving! Im actually getting interrupted by you forcing me to eat!" Clay started yelling.

"I never fucking wanted this!" He said gesturing to the bowl of now cold pizza rolls in his hand.

"I only want you to fucking eat! That's it! Is that too much to ask?!" You yelled as he shut you out again. He returned editing his video and let out frustrated groans because he messed up a clip and had to redo it.

"It's not that important apparently." You rolled your eyes. It was petty of you, you could've just left it at that and talked about it later.

Clay banged the table with his fists. "Please stop talking for one damn second!" He yelled more violently this time, you could bet the neighbors heard him.

You weren't going to let tears fall. You weren't going to show Clay that you were weak, so you stormed out of his room and slammed the door behind you hoping he heard that loud and clear. You threw yourself onto tbe couch and sobbed into your hands, you then grabbed a throw pillow and cried into that trying to muffle your frustration. Staying like that until you calmed down you traveled to the kitchen to grab a bag of chips and went back to the couch to put on some mindless TV shows to distract you from the chaos that happened before.

Halfway into your tv show you heard someone coming down the hallway, but you didn't bother looking towards them to greet them.

"Hey y/n!" You turned around to the different voice who spoke and saw that it was Nick who spoke to you who was now walking to sit by you. To be honest you forgot that Nick was even in the house when you went to speak to Clay.

"I heard some yelling in the other room and I wanted to know what was going on are you okay?" Nick asked while sitting next to you.

Damn, you felt bad that your quick fight had turned into yelling and Nick overheard.

"Yeah, Im fine. I cried into your throw pillows, but me a Clay had a huge fight about him overworking himself." You said tapping the throw pillow on your lap. "Long story short he's probably still mad and now I feel like shit, I might go home. Also I'm sorry you heard that!" You rushed.

"No, it's okay. I really wanted to know if you were okay. I heard you crying too, but I didn't want to intrude." Nick said while putting a hand on your shoulder. "Do you want me to drive you back?"

"You dont have to Nick! But its appreciated."

"Do you want me to tell Drea- Clay?" He asked awaiting your answer.

You paused before answering Nick. "I'll- I'll go tell him." You said confidently.

"Positive?"

"Positive." You stood up and walked towards Clay's room for the third time today.

"I'll be ready when you're done!" Nick yelled down the hallway.

You were at the same place you were a few minutes ago. This time you didn't hesitate to open the door and face Clay again. Your heartbeat quickened, because of the fact that you didnt know what would come out od Clay's mouth this time. It was nerve-wracking, but you had to face him wether it was today, tomorrow, or the next day.

You didn't bother knocking and just entered the room. He was still in the same chair facing away from you but this time he wasn't looking at his computer, his head was resting in his hands while his his video edits weren't on the screen anymore.

"Clay." You started and he turned around facing you.

"Y/n! Im so sorry." Clay spoke, you were about to speak but he interrupted you. "Please, I'm a dumbass, im sorry I yelled at you. I know you were just trying to help. Forgive me?"

Clay stood up walking towards you, you didn't walk away you just stared at him for a while before speaking.

"Clay I understand and I forgive you. It really pained me to hear that, that's the first time I heard that anger from you except for when you play in Minecraft." You chuckled and he smiled. "Just take care of yourself."

You walked towards him and brung him into a hug which he reciprocated. You two stayed like that for a while until you spoke again.

"I dont want this to happen again. We'll work around it like we always do."

"That sounds like a plan. I dont want it to happen either, I didn't like that." Clay chuckled.

"Im sorry I made you cry." Clay spoke again.

"You heard me cry?!"

"Yeah from the living room."

"Damn I didn't know I cried that loud." You laughed into his chest.

You and Clay finally let go of eachother and he went to go officially turn off his computer for the night and came back to you. He grabbed your hand and you both walked out of his room closing the door and walking to the living room.

"Im taking you're not going home?" Nick said from the couch as you both joined him sitting on it.

"Not now atleast. We made it work." You said as you leaned against Clay's shoulder.

"Good!" Nick said while switching the TV to something else.

Clay wapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. You finally got him back.

"Those pizza rolls were cold."

Taglist: @annshit