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6 Types of Love

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Only sometimes.

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Roasted Garlic Steak Sandwich | Bob Deutscher

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chicken and chow mein bowl. 

Visit  latenitemeal for more mouthwatering, late night meals. 

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Instant Noodles DInner in my apartment on 1/23/2012, 5:53pm 

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[Gumshoe sat back and listens quietly, growing more and more upset as she talked. It isn't fair, it isn't fair at all that she felt the way she did. Angel is such a wonderful person - strong, and beautiful, and sweet - that seeing her beat herself up over SL-9 just broke his heart. He sees her hands shake, and wants to cover them with his own, a gesture of assurance and comfort, nothing more...but he doesn't.]

Well...that's just not how it worked out, pal. You can't change the past. If it was that easy, a lot of good people wouldn't be dead right now. Like Mr. Edgeworth's dad, and Neil, and well...a whole bunch of people. But it didn't happen that way, and there's nothing you can do about it. Being sad and guilty isn't helping anybody, pal, especially not you.

[He twiddled his thumbs nervously, keeping his eyes on his lap.]

And uh...for what it's worth, pal...I'm really glad you didn't...that...what you tried to do didn't work either.

I guess I understand where you're coming from though. I mean, if you had... (shoot, I can't even say it.) if you weren't here right now, I'd probably beat myself up about it every day. For not being there. I should probably say I'm sorry about that, too, cuz I am. I'm really sorry I wasn't around, pal. Maybe if I had been, you wouldn't have...tried to do that thing.

[He looks up, smiling bashfully at Angel.]

I think it's okay to be sad that he's gone. Neil was a good guy, and a real good prosecutor, pal. Mr. Marshall used to tell me all kinds of stories about him when we worked together. Like once, he told me he was chasing down a bank robber, and he lassoed the guy and caught him! I couldn't ever see anyone like Mr. Edgeworth doing that, pal! Not a lot of prosecutors would go after a bad guy the way he did.

[He chuckles.]

Maybe it was just in his nature to chase folks down like that. Maybe if you had been interrogating Darke, it wouldn't have changed anything at all. You'll never know for sure, pal. Telling yourself you could have changed what happened to Neil is only hurting you though.

No Sunshine

-To say she was surprised when Gumshoe wrapped his arms around her would be an understatement. She wasn’t expecting anything like that and when it happened, she didn’t know what to do. But she didn’t push him away or tell him to stop—she knew that wouldn’t help anyone and he was only trying to help her. Her widened eyes softened and she gave a calm exhale while listening to his words. It was nice to say those things, and she knew that he meant them, but it’s hard to believe otherwise when you have been telling yourself it’s all your fault for years. The hug tightened a bit when Gumshoe finished and for a good ten, maybe fifteen, minutes nothing was said. Angel didn’t know what to say anyway, she had no clue what could be acceptable in this sort of situation. She took in small breaths and eventually her hands came to pat at Gumshoe’s shoulders to show she needed to breathe a bit. Hesitantly, they parted a bit and Angel couldn’t seem to look at his eyes for a moment. She didn’t cry, she had cried so much earlier that she wasn’t capable of crying anymore. It had dried up. With a smooth exhale before her words, Angel spoke. Her tone was calm and a little sad but it was even.- I really shouldn’t blame myself—but this is something I’ve come to accept. If I had been the interrogator then Neil would still be alive. If I had gotten there a moment sooner, then I would’ve caught Gant then. But I didn’t. It’s true that Gant is a bad person and what he did was absolutely unacceptable and hateful—but how am I any less of a bad person for neglecting the life I was allowed to give and attempting to end it? I can’t say I’m as good a person as you say I am knowing that I did that.  -Even though her voice is strangely calm, her hands are quivering. Every time she has to remember what she did, this happens and she can’t stop it. The guilt is physically getting to her and she can’t stop it. It’s eating her up inside and Angel clasps her hands together in an attempt to stop their shaking.- 

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[Gumshoe listens quietly to Angel as she vents, trying to be a sympathetic ear as best as he can. Everything is going fine until she mentions the attempted suicide.

Angel tried...wait, what? No, that can't be right. Angel's one of the strongest people Gumshoe knows. She wouldn't...

He couldn't even stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug. All of a sudden he didn't care what messages he was sending. If there was anything he was sure of at this point, it was that Angel Starr needed a hug. Right now.

He wanted to question her. He wanted to get upset. Why didn't she call? Why didn't she come to him first? Then he recalls...he was never there. He was at work. He was too busy to be what Angel needed him to be. The thought tears him up inside. He's having a hard time believing everything she was telling him. He almost wants to cry as much as she does.]

Angel...don't...don't beat yourself up about it, pal. Neil wouldn't want you to be sad, I'm sure of it.

[The words sounded hollow. He steeled himself, closing his eyes, and tried again.]

I-I mean you're right, it wasn't fair what happened to him, but it's not your fault. I read the case files. It was Mr. Gant. He did it. You didn't have anything to do with it, pal. So don't feel guilty. Please don't. You shouldn't.

You're one of the strongest people I know, Angel. You're tough and you're brave and you're not afraid to say what you mean, even if it hurts some feelings. You're incredible, a-and it's not your fault it happened, I know it. Nobody blames you, okay pal? So don't blame yourself. Neil was just doing his job, and then Mr. Gant got involved because he's a bad guy, pal. He's a real bad guy.

[He hugs her tightly. He doesn't want to see her like this anymore. He wants to kiss her pain away, but he knows he can't, so he's just going to hold her until she smiles again, even if it takes a hundred years.]

No Sunshine

I still think you should take better care of yourself, thick skull or not. -Her voice was a little concerned still, but for the most part she was casual about it. Still, she worried about him. It would be awful if hurt himself rushing to see her at her request and in all honesty it wouldn’t make her feel any better to joke about it either. Angel’s gaze fixated forward, her eyes sad and calm—half lidded and a little tired as she’d been up quite a long time. Sleep came very difficultly last night, and even then it was short lived. Then again, that was to be expected.  One of her hands came up to allow her chin to rest over the back of it. She stared forward, but at nothing in particular as most was shrouded by the rain anyway, and gave a small sigh before glancing back over at the worried man beside her. Angel hadn’t intended to worry him so, and felt a bit guilty that he had rushed all the way over—even brought her a treat to snack on—and was listening to all her little problems. It wasn’t her intention to ever take advantage of Gumshoe. He was a true friend to her and that would be wrong. Even so, she needed to vent a little. Perhaps it would do her good, help her ease out of this black cloud she’d been in since last year. Slowly she was starting that process but it would still take a little time. With or Without help. Angel managed to form a very light smile at Gumshoe’s praise and shook her head slightly in reply.- I’m not doing it for anyone to thank me. I just…I couldn’t do anything to save Neil. I wasn’t strong or fast enough and even now I’m a rather weak human being. You’re right, Neil was a very good man. He shouldn’t be where he is now. And Jake? He still isn’t very fond of me so I can’t say for sure if he would appreciate anything I do for him or for Neil. -Angel gives a soft sigh, resisting the urge to reach into her pocket and pull her cigarettes out for assistance. A part of her really needed it, but it would be best not to do that right then. It could wait, she could tough it out. Even so, Angel listened to everything Gumshoe had to say before she continued.- I never stick around to see if they come or not, so I really can’t say if they do or don’t, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they never did. I can’t say I’d blame him, Jake, if he didn’t come. The hardest thing to do is to look at this grave and know how fragile a life is. It’s even worse if the grave you’re looking at is that of your closest family. But I know that Jake is probably drinking, and I’m reminded that I was unable to help him also and it tears me up a bit—Gumshoe.  It hurts to know as a fact that nothing you did helped at all. To know that you’re useless to the people you care about.  -Another sigh, a bit longer this time and a little heavier too, before leaning back just a bit in an attempt to ease herself up rather than restrain herself as she usually did. It obviously wasn’t helping. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before exhaling and looking upwards this time rather than forward.- I feel guilty looking at this grave for not being able to save him, for nothing being capable to do everything I could to prevent this from ever happening, but even more so now that… last year I attempted suicide. I wasn’t in my right mind during that time, and that doesn’t change that it was still my fault and I don’t feel guilty because of some sort of self centered reason. I feel guilty because Neil’s time was cut so short so quickly. He could’ve done so much good and yet he’s gone. And here I am, potentially useless by now, and alive but having willingly almost taken my own life. I’m guilty for continuously being so weak. -Her eyes close, but her head tilts back as she leans against the back of the bench and a heavy sigh—the heaviest of the ones she’s done so far—escapes her. It feels good to tell someone about it, but it also worries her when she wonders how he’ll react to that news. She didn’t tell him for sympathy but rather because she simply wants to continue on—if not for her sake, than for Neil’s.- 

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Aw, I'm fine. Mr. Edgeworth always said I got a thick skull! [He knocked on his head with his fist to prove his point.] Haven't cracked it yet, pal!

[He listened quietly while Angel unloaded, his typically cheerful demeanor waning slightly as she spoke. He watched her closely, and fought the urge to wrap an arm around her. He wanted to, so much, but it wouldn't feel right. He didn't want to send the wrong messages, and he wasn't sure how not to. Being an ex is hard.]

That's awful nice of you, pal. I didn't really know Neil much, but he was a good guy. Mr. Marshall used to talk about him all day when he was still training me.

[He grinned wide again.]

I bet he appreciates all you're doing for him, too. Neil seemed like a real nice guy. Everybody at work always says real nice stuff about him.

[Looking up, he tapped his chin thoughtfully.]

I'm a little surprised Mr. Marshall would come out at all, actually. I mean, I guess it makes sense pal, they were brothers and all, but...I dunno, he always kinda danced around the topic of his brother after everything that happened. I haven't actually seen him at the precinct in days. I guess I just kinda figured he took some time off...since today's the anniversary and all.

No Sunshine

You ran? But the weather is getting bad—you could’ve walked, Gumshoe. I would’ve waited for you. -Angel smiled all the same, taking a seat beside him and sitting up properly like a lady would. She noted the umbrella and chuckled inwardly remembering how much of a pain that thing used to be. She’d be sure to buy him a new one soon, that thing simply wouldn’t do. It was getting worn out also, soon it wouldn’t be able to do it’s job. Besides, Angel was certain he had had that umbrella for at least 5 years now. It was time to upgrade. A bit surprised at his sudden exclamation, Angel turned to look at the man beside her. He seemed so excited to give her something so she opened her hands to receive the present and in plops a small swiss roll. It wasn’t smooshed or anything, in fact it was safe and perfectly round as it had intended it be with just a bit of cream smeared on the wrapping by accident. Still, the gesture was sweet but Angel only savored it for a moment before looking at the other with a concerned expression.- Thank you, but—Are you alright? You didn’t hurt yourself did you? -Lightly placing a hand on the other’s shoulder, she thanked him once more for the treat before laying it in her lap for another moment. For now, Angel wanted to take in all that she wanted to express before she did so. It was a lot on her shoulders and she wondered if it’d be odd to tell Gumshoe about all those problems. At his statement, Angel raised a brow and glanced over without turning her head then returned her calm gaze forward.- It’s usually like this on this day. Jake and Lana don’t come until they can handle it or until the rain stops. They wait until no one is around. I just come to tidy up the site…He deserves that much, you know? 

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[Gumshoe hurried over the second he spotted Angel, waving like a fool. He stopped in front of the patio to catch his breath, and grinned at her.]

Hey, pal! Sure, I'm wiped! I haven't done that much running in a while!

[He followed her beneath the shelter of the patio and set his umbrella to the side, not bothering to close it. It was almost as hard to close as it was to open. He dropped down onto the bench and recalled the snack he brought.]

Oh! Before I forget, I brought ya something!

[Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled the swiss roll out and handed it to her.]

I hope I didn't smash it. I slipped on a puddle and kinda skidded into a wall. Heh. But here, this is for you.

[He smiled wide and practically pushed the treat into her hands.]

So uh...how you feeling, pal? You doing okay? I'm kinda surprised you're alone. I...

[...thought you'd be with your new boyfriend on a day like this.]

...figured maybe you wouldn't be considering what today is.

No Sunshine

-When the first drips of rain began to fall, Angel sighed a bit in exasperation. How could this day get any worse? She had just spent all this time ensuring that Neil’s grave was going to be taken care of and now it was all for naught. Thank you weather, thanks so much. Lucky enough, the bench was under a patio of sorts that was over every bench just for these sorts of occasions so she wasn’t going to get wet until a bit later on. Having to walk home would be a bit depressing if she was going to get soaked. It had been sunny out earlier so she had neglected to bring an umbrella. It was about, roughly, 30 or so minutes before the call of her name seemed to resonate in her ears and she turned her head to see one Detective Gumshoe waving to her as he started his approach. Standing, but not exiting the patio’s enclosure as to not get wet. Once Gumshoe got close enough, she welcomed him a seat at the bench with her with a gentle and calm smile. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too obvious that she had been crying. She wore water-proof makeup for a reason.- Hello, dear~. Care for a seat? I don’t exactly feel like walking home in this weather.