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corviiids · 2 months ago

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sparknotes for chapter 9 of as you like it because a very kind commenter asked for a breakdown and if theres one thing im good at it's breaking down

(spoilers for the fic obviously)

tihs chapter gave me so much trouble. i sat on it for so long i literally hated it by the time i posted it but im starting to forgive it now. it was, as ive said, originally way longer, and the next part of the fic was supposed to be the second half of this one... but it was starting to get absurd and i realised that neither part would have the weight i needed them to have if they were lumped in together. (with some relief, honestly, because i kind of had wanted them to be separate initially but didn't think they'd be long enough. i dont know myself very well.) anyway, the next chapter should be a bit of a doozy now although hopefully not SO absurdly long.

this chapter picks up where the previous cliff hung off, which is to say, after the 'shadow' akechi reveals that he's actually just the real ass guy. akechi in the palace what will he do. the chapter doesn't immediately kick off with ren's reaction though and that is because ren is the most repressed man alive and does not know how he feels about it.

so, akechi disguised himself to enter his palace, which is significant for a few reasons:

1. he's disguised as himself

which i think is ironic in a fun way, but it's also just a very basic nod to the fact that akechi pivots between which of his personae is his default. this isn't necessarily super meaningful, but he does later refer to the black mask suit as

a costume, instead of an outfit. i mean, don't read into it too much, he's just talking, but i did think that probably points to how he feels about his appearance generally.

2. more importantly, his disguise involves taking off his mask.

so he's disguised, yes, and he's disguised as himself, yes, but that disguise is a literal unmasking, which is also kind of ironic. in presenting himself this way he has literally and figuratively made himself vulnerable. they're inside his heart, and the entire time he's in the palace, he is exposed... again both literally and figuratively because he also starts sharing more with ren than he ever has. look, i just think it's fun to have a character who has so many layers that he has to lie so hard that he becomes himself again.

i only want to point this out because (this is also part of larger meta about mona lol) akechi knew about the metaverse, but there is no way to intuit the method of stealing hearts without guidance. it's such a specific and involved process. thje most akechi could work out on his own was that if you killed a shadow, that person would have a mental breakdown. no way to guess that if you send a calling card and then go in within the next 24 hours and take a physical manifestation of a thing that you didn't know existed (process) would lead to that person ahving a change of heart (result). so even if akechi had a palace and knew about it, even if he wanted to do something about it, he would have assumed there was nothing he could do about it - i also have no idea what the process would be for sending yourself a calling card, even if he DID know about the process. so basically in this fic akechi found his palace and just assumed that was it. he was like, fucked up lol. anyway

this just straight up isn't true HAHA so i put in the silly little dichotomy of akechi gently taking ren's arm to protect him from slipping on the ice while telling him that he lied about caring about him. i think in this chapter as akechi begins to openly explain more and more of his thought process, this is probably the first truly clear glimpse you get of exactly what akechi's distortion is and how deep it runs.

the things akechi says with total conviction in this chapter are just... not true, not a fair or founded way to view the world (or the art of performance haha), but he says them with total conviction, and hopefully it should show off how unreliable he is as a source of exposition. one commenter asked about this moment of akc's eyes going yellow and if it was somehting that happened in canon - not really, i was just thinking about those little moments in the game after you send a calling card where the game cuts from the person to their shadow to do a little oneliner about their distortion.

akechi's IN his own palace, so i thought it would be fun to kind of make it a physical thing that can happen to him where he sort of merges with his shadow for a brief second in the moments when the distortion is strongest.

OKAY this is one of my favourite bits of the chapter HAHA the deep soda lore. i dont expect anyone to remember all the way back to chapter 3 but:

literally nobody asked about this but i love the phantom thieves!!! i dream of all the little silly moments of being a team that they must have that we don't get to see in gameplay, for obvious reasons of it wouldn't really work in a game, but i can imagine them in my brain. i can imagine their trickshot contests that get their asses kicked. i can imagine them chanting at each other to chug while joker and oracle compete to down an entire bottle of brand neutral mountain dew baja blast. i can dream.

soda lore is gay.

i dont honestly think it's inherently a bad thing necessarily but this part does kind of set up like... you can see akechi very early on in life forming this worldview that the truth isn't always what you want, you know? this was a 'lie' he and his mother both bought into, they both knew what the truth actually was, so it wasn't real dishonesty, but they just had this little fantasy. i just thought it would be fun for akechi to have a way to bond with his mother and feel closer to her, and that way is by buying into this white lie. idk

akechi's mother isn't really a character and i don't want to form her into too much of one because i think it's very much the point that, like... he made this point in an earlier chapter but having lost her at a pretty young age i think it's quite crucial that akechi doesn't really have a fully formed image of who his mother is outside of what she was to him as a child. so i actively don't want her to feel too real or defined. im not interested in making an oc out of her because i think it defeats the purpose. that said, this line exists to maybe gesture very vaguely at the notion that akechi's mother was a very bright person who similarly was stuck in circumstances that didn't serve to foster her real potential. just the image in my mind of a person who's clever enough to get across algebraic notation in chess by flipping through a book in a few minutes, but was never exposed to the opportunity to learn chess until this moment in someone else's house, and also the particular situation of learning this skill WHILE at someone's place as a call girl, i dunno . i hope im treating this with the grace it deserves but i wanted to build just this particular image in vivid colour while also keeping the reality quite blurry and vague, just to give the reader a sense of where akechi came from while still preserving his limited pov.

my thoughts on the phantom thieves' methods (and how they compare to maruki) are definitely too long and involved to put into a post about this fic chapter specifically, but maybe one day. i also wanna stress im not like... strictly anti-phantom thief or anti-heartstealing lol but i do have thoughts about the philsophy of it and the thieves' hypocrisy WHATEVER that's not for this post. i bring this up only to crow about finding a way to bring up the experience machine (ie maruki's reality) in this fic without it being royal compliant and have it be... hoepfully... sufficiently relevant to the plot. wa hoo! the experience machine came up for the first time back in chapter 4 and im just delighted that i finally got to close that loop. by the way, that experiment is also called the lotus eater machine after the lotus eaters in the odyssey! i dunno that it's actively my favourite thought experiment but it's definitely up there and i think about it a lot.

TITLE DROP

i think i spoke once about what 'as you like it' means. it's obviously the name of the shakespeare play from where 'all the world's a stage' comes, but it has a couple more layers to it as well - akechi's palace is a place where he performs to what he believes other people want or need to see from him - so his appearance is as you like it. and his accusation of the thieves' heartstealing methods is that they twist a person's internal reality to suit their vision - that's the meaning he's taking here, claiming that joker is turning akechi into an unfamiliar new thing, as [joker] like[s] it. you get it.

this running joke of ren really hating vents wasn't something i planned but im attached to it now. prayer circle for his knees

ive basically given up on making sense of samerecarm, which is par for the course for any rpg or video game really where reduction to 0hp/revival are mechanics. like, im inclined to think 0hp is more equivalent to unconsciousness, because... well... otherwise it's pretty cold that they left akechi dead in the engine room without even looking for a way around the wall. lol. but one of mona's revival lines is 'being dead isnt easy!' or something like that, so i kind of just give up and assume it's video game logic you'r enot meant to look at too hard lol. the way i reconcile it for my purposes is to say it's a sort of metaverse-exclusive state of being which is not quite dead but sort of in a limbo state wher eyou can be brought back with specific revival magic, which i refer to as being down. that's uhhh, that's different from the battle status of down... which you get after being hit with a crit/technical/weak skill... look, don't think about it. joker in crow's arms.

this is literally meaningless i just wanted to include a cameo of my very favourite persona q2 battle theme.

#rookfic #thank you sunlitpearl on ao3 for asking. all my love forever to everyone who enables me to yap non fucking stop #rookposting #i need to actually have a tag for this fic specifically because i talk about it so much #AYLI #< there #long post #eta i forgot to mention but goro figuring out the stamp thing but continuing to play along anyway #was very very very loosely based on my experience as a kiddo with santa HAHAHA #i was 3 y/o and clocked that 'santa' used the same wrapping paper as my parents. and i thought that was sus.#then i asked mother if santa was real and she went 'do you want the truth' and i was like well never mind. i know NOW.#idiot smartass toddler!! i was so pleased about figuring it out i didnt think about cutting off the present supply.#kept playing along for the fun of it tho although 'santa' started receiving carefully price matched lists from me instead of letters #anyway #tangent from my childhood tales

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writing-now-andthen · 2 years ago

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JD With A Humiliation Kink X Reader

@hugs4jd inspired me<3 (especially w the bit you said about bullying so I tried to use that)

Okay this is like an exploration of JDs kink and his feelings involving it followed by him telling you, about it

If anyone likes this and want to see more with anything specific they have in mind plzz request it (seriously if it's not on my will not write list, I'll probably do it)

F slur, swearing, Beetlejuice reference, reader teases/makes fun of him but he likes it, JD on receiving end

JDs pretty much been bullied at least a little bit at every school he's been to, it's typically a fun mix of him being a "fag" and jealousy over the fact that what makes pricks think he's too queer, only adds to his ability to pull chicks

Particularly ones that are a little more on the alt side, which I think Veronica would have been more of if she didn't been sucked in by the heathers (think a little more Lydia Deetz)

Anyway, he of course, has found some rather... Extreme ways to deal with assholes, so other then his burning hatred for the people who make life miserable simmering under the surface...

It doesn't bother him too much, in the way that he's not really hurt by it

However

There is this one thing

Now it doesn't happen anymore since he became armed and dangerous

But pre Westerburg there had been occasions where he's been shoved around a little, bullied either physically or verbally

And he can totally deal with it

With that said, he had a mild tendency to freeze up if too many people were paying attention to what was being said/done to him

I swear he's always been smooth as hell, it's just that mostly applies when one on one or maybe a small group, kinda weird because I think he'd be able to get in front of a crowd and give a speech because he'd be able to zone out and ignore all the people

He's way better at seeming chill when he's not nowadays

But anyway back to before

So yeah he would freeze up, he'd get very conscious of all the people, he'd get embarrassed

He started to notice that being embarrassed resulted in a certain reaction from him

If you're not catching on the reaction was arousal, and once he realized that, it started getting him super turned on

There was one instance where he popped a boner because of it and then got beat up for being queer

Was very happy when he got home to hear he was switching schools again

Didn't need to go back there after he got hard from that guy bullying him

"What? You like this, you freak?"

Has thought about it since then, it's kinda hot for him especially now that he's distanced himself from the whole event

He doesn't feel any shame about his kink, he's just embarrassed to tell you

I mean what if you think it's weird or you tell people about it

Thinks that would kill him

If he was just minding his business one day and someone said something about it to him, he'd kill them, but also he'd die

He could shoot all the blanks he wants but he knows people would still talk

Small Town and all

He thinks about you teasing him about it though

He gets off thinking about you making him admit what he likes

Now let's get to where he does tell you

Starts by saying there's this one thing he's into

Tries so hard to downplay it but he won't make eye contact with you

It's just uhh, he has this thing where he gets off on being embarrassed or humiliated, and now he'd like to change the subject, so were you thinking about seeing that movie that just came out?

Please don't let him change the subject you could have so much fun with right now

Tell him you think it's cute, he'll hide his face like you're making fun of him

You've never seen him like this

Don't let him hide his face, look at the way it gets dusted pink

"I'm sorry, am I embarrassing you?"

See him roll his eyes, but he won't say no

"so does that mean you're turned on right now?"

And see him splutter and look around the room

But nod his head yes, ever so slightly

He has a tendency to scratch the back of his neck when he gets shy or embarrassed

Honestly you could get him rock hard just by talking about his humiliation kink

And you do

You're going to ask him for specifics later but right now you're just going to tease him

Kind of a fantasy fulfilled for him because you start making him tell you how he's getting off on you embarrassing him

"Yes alright I like it, I'm getting off on you embarrassing me"

He says it defiantly but tell him how cute that is again and he's back to being flustered

Whisper something about it in his ear while you're in public and watch him try to hide how flustered he is

Be careful he's a little hesitant with public play

Really really scared of people finding out

Not that he's unwilling to do anything public

I very likely will make another one of these anyway so if you have something in mind you can request it

Masterlist

#jason dean #jason dean heathers #jason dean x reader #jd heathers #jd x reader

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doodles-of-a-nerd-kid · 1 year ago

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Were there any specific media/cultural inspirations for your OCs? Ones like Polka especially stand out to me, really neat design!

If you used any picture references those would be neat to see, too.

THIS IS AN AMAZING QUESTION

I'VE BEEN WAITIN' TO ANSWER SOMETHING LIKE THIS TYSM ANON

To keep it short and sweet so you can stop reading here:

I am very heavily influenced by anime and video game character design. When I'm creating a character, I try to cram lots of different references that are slightly consistent ^^" Funny you bring Polka up though, she's the best example of this!

I put this whole chart together to sort of visualize my erm... creative vision/inspirations I suppose:

...Let me attempt to break this down a bit ^^"

It probably isn't too obvious, but Miss Polka here is actually a Cave Story fan character!

So for you who do not know, there is an old witch woman named Jenka present in Cave Story. Her name is very interesting because:

and I was like: "Alright, I'll name my witch character off of a traditional dance/song as well because that would be really funny huehueheuheuheueu xddddd"

And that's how I ended up with Polka's name! The polka is also a folk dance, and has a cute outfit for the dancers~ So i took some inspiration from it when designing her outfit ^^

Polka is a young witch... and Misery's apprentice. So Misery unsurprisingly was a really big influence when I was designing Polka. I tried to keep as many things as I could from Misery, like her hair and accessories... but I mostly took her color palette lol

Also hey!! Sue's here, what's up with that??! Well, that's a bit of a secret~ I can't tell you, hehe! But just know that she helped out lots when trying to decide personality traits for Polka and bits of her design as well :>

So guys idk if you knew this but I am a super duper weeb

Anime/JRPG stuff has a chokehold on me, a lot of my artwork and characters are influenced by it

Some of the inspirations at the top of my head for Miss Polka are things like Genshin Impact (kill me) and the Sailor Soldiers (the CLASSIC magical girls, they're too iconic to not think abt >:D)

There isn't too much thought between the tail capes, ribbons, fingerless arm warmers and her... skirt... tuft... thing...? I just think they're really neat and gave some more detail to the design :]]

BUT the skimpiest part of her outfit is well,,, y'know-- the swimsuit aspect. This is because Polka can use hydromancy, so I just thought it would be a cute nod to that, lol

I think that's about all of it! I had a lot of fun answering this one, hope that answers your question~ Polka actually has gone through the most redesigns outta all my characters, so that's prolly why she's the most interesting visually! I am def happiest with her current appearance, and I can't see myself making any changes too it anytime soon--

Hopefully this wasn't too much of an infodump, I just love talking abt my characters in detail >///<

Thank you so much again, Anon!

#asks #anon ask #answered #original content #polka #misery (cave story)#if this gets over uhh #15 notes #I will do Tilde's sheet #this is a warning

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pricechecktranslations · 1 year ago

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You’ve mentioned before how Mothy has soft-retconned his non-canon songs to fit into the broader Evillious lore. Do you have any specific examples of him doing this? I’m genuinely curious about him doing that

I suppose it involves a bit of assumption on my part--there's no way to know what mothy's intentions are without him outright saying so. And I say "soft" retcon because there's usually not a lot of direct contradiction going on to make the retconning super obvious, or there's ways to handwave it. Plus, whether or not these things truly count as having been "non-canon" is a bit murky.

But! Here are some (probably not all) instances where I believe it occurred:

(non-canon to canon)

The Letter she Kept Waiting For was, IIRC, cut content. That is, mothy had originally made it to be the ending of the Daughter of Evil songs, and then he scrapped it. The "reach for the stars" version was made explicitly part of the series.

The Song I Heard Somewhere, combined with the Judgment of Corruption novel, retconned Full Moon Laboratory into being about Irina. I strongly doubt this was mothy's intention when he first made the song.

Ten Minute Love. I love that he made this the conclusion of Evillious, but I have a hard time believing this was the plan when he made it. Pretty sure it's just a cute love song he made when he was trying out Kagamine Rin for the first time.

Slightly more involved, but, Torture Tower Doesn't Sleep (not just the song but the novels too)--he did explicitly say once that this one was unrelated to Evillious, and so a lot of the nods to Evillious were probably non-serious. There's also all the stuff with Amostia--it's my belief that when he made the character in Torture Tower, Amo and Rack were just meant to be a reference to Allen and Riliane, and "Amostia" (their identity when fused together) as a name is in keeping with the naming patterns of the other wraiths in the series. I think Mothy having "the boy" turn into Amostia at the end of Outlaw and Lychgate was his way of making Torture Tower canon by having it be an alternate universe of Evillious. All this is to say, currently I think the "multiverse" plotline that mothy is following at the moment, and the identity of the boy as Amostia, was conceived after Torture Tower, and he retroactively made them relevant.

Fictional Masquerade could...potentially qualify. It was originally written as a song for a game (Engage Princess), so I'm unclear whether mothy intended to always have it be part of his multiverse or if that's another thing that happened later. It's referenced in the Rilia-Renee song. Same with Messengers of the Infinity Mirrors, I suppose, as that was made for a VOCALOID album with multiple other artists participating.

(canon to new canon--not an example of what you're asking about, but involves some retcons anyway)

The original lyrics to A Tale of Abandonment on a Moonlit Night said "just like Hansel and Gretel". Mothy later changed it to "Our names are Hansel and Gretel".

There are a lot of reveals in the OSS novels that don't entirely line up with what we know of OSS from the album booklets and I'll leave it at that (I'm sure many people would argue this is hard retconning).

Mothy has outright said that a lot of his ideas for Re_Birthday changed over the course of the series from when he first made the song, so the Heavenly novel could count as this as well (I do believe it was always intended to be about Allen, however).

#some of these are up for debate i imagine #but there's my stance on it

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vvooper · 10 days ago

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next up in my ffvii character pokemon teams is reeve. he's just a normal businessman nothing to see here

as always, details below

ok first of all, I just think this is hilarious: I did not edit this sprite at all. this is just straight up a clerk from gen v. suit and tie? check. dark hair? check. running on not enough sleep and far too much caffeine? check. no changes needed

species: banette

ability: cursed body

item: spell tag

moves: poltergeist, facade, role play, destiny bond

ok so some Deep Lore about reeve is that he can control cait sith because he is an "inspire." to my knowledge this is only ever mentioned in supplemental material and there is not much detail at all on how this works or how common it is or... anything. wondering if they will address this in remake part 3.

banette is a marionette pokemon. now I know what you're gonna say. when you think about ffvii and puppets, reeve is NOT the character who comes to mind. I initially considered golurk or golem for a pokemon named inspire because a golem is a perfect fit as a being animated from inorganic matter. BUT neither of them really have movesets that are fitting, so I went with banette instead.

facade and role play represent how reeve hides his identity behind cait sith and acts very differently than he does irl. destiny bond I guess is because it doesn't super matter if cait sith dies because reeve can send a new one

species: persian (alolan form)

ability: fur coat

item: loaded dice

moves: foul play, fury swipes, switcheroo, parting shot

here he is. the little guy himself. I chose alolan persian because he's got a bit of a dark side, and also because he looks a lil silly with his round noggin and big kitty cheeks. the ability fur coat is just because he's a cat, I didn't consider what it actually does at all lol.

the loaded dice item is a reference to his dice limit break in og as well as his roll o the dice ability in rebirth (which I assume is based on the og limit break anyway). in general many of cait sith's abilities and attacks are rng-dependent.

fury swipes is just a move that works well with the loaded dice, but fits the cat theme too. I chose foul play and switcheroo because of cait's shenanigans with the keystone

species: clefable

ability: magic guard

item: sticky barb

moves: moonblast, metronome, misty explosion, trick

clefable is much cuter than cait sith's moogle, but it's a chunkier fairy with lil wings on its back so I liked it for this.

the sticky barb is not super specifically linked to anything in particular, but cait sith has a bunch of tricks up his sleeve so it seemed like something he'd do.

metronome is another nod to how much cait sith's moves depend on rng, and you could even say it specifically represents his moogle magic ability in rebirth, where he uses an ability from his equipped summon. I chose misty explosion due to the moogle kaboom ability, where the moogle just fucking explodes when it leaves. trick is another nod to cait sith stealing the keystone

species: exploud

ability: scrappy

item: throat spray

moves: boomburst, uproar, disarming voice, roar

hp shout is cait sith's ultimate weapon in ffvii, although really I chose exploud more generally because all of cait sith's weapons are megaphones. the item and moves are all sound-based. not much to it other than that tbh

species: conkeldurr

ability: guts

item: flame orb

moves: facade, hammer arm, brick break, bulldoze

if anyone saw the name of this conkeldurr and had a fight or flight response, never fear - I'm not bringing gackt into this. yet. the world regenesis organization is basically the government or whatever that steps in after the events of ffvii when shinra is pretty much toast. and reeve is in charge. conkeldurr is kinda weird, but I chose it both because the wro is working to rebuild after meteor and because reeve was the director of urban planning in shinra.

the move facade is similar to the theme I went with for some of his other pokemon, since reeve kinda hides behind cait sith for a lot of his taking action. the other three moves are just based on construction-related tools, materials, and activities

species: blacephalon

ability: beast boost

item: air balloon

moves: mind blown, shadow ball, psyshock, trick

the gold saucer is cait sith's stomping grounds. blacephalon is just a silly little guy and a clown, which seemed fitting for an amusement park. he's carrying around a balloon for a similar reason. the balloons in the gold saucer in rebirth are so freakin cute.

mind blown could be based on the fireworks at the gold saucer, but I could also point to the moogle kaboom ability again, just for fun. trick again for more item snatching.

next up should be vincent. in the meantime, other characters are found here

#pokemon #banette #persian #clefable #exploud #conkeldurr #blacephalon #final fantasy #reeve tuesti #cait sith #ffvii #final fantasy vii #ffvii x pokemon

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thecurioustale · 1 year ago

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(Re)introducing Galaxy Federal

This is the third and final part in my (Re)introducing Series, and the one that I've been looking forward the most to writing, because I've thus far held details about Galaxy Federal very close to my vest. Here's a look at my big sprawling sci-fi world.

Galaxy Federal is a lot newer than The Curious Tale, though with the passage of time I can no longer call it truly new.

The first stirrings began in the late 2000s when I created the character of Mereidi Basilisk, my spiritual successor to Samus Aran of the Metroid franchise. I love the mysteriousness, desolation, exploration, and eeriness of the old-school Metroid, especially the ones I grew up with, Metroid II and Super Metroid, and I like to dwell on stories like the ones they inspire.

The other big sci-fi source that I've always wanted to do my own take on is Star Trek, with its optimistic future, sense of wonder and exploration, and commitment to humanism. I began imagining a story about a starship on a 20-year mission to travel to a charted but unvisited star system, to build a massive colony and install a faster-than-light gateway to connect the system to the rest of civilization. This story involved a captain modeled on the Goddess Venus, someone so fat and bountiful that she had a second body just to get around in, as the first one was too busy luxuriating at home. It was shaping up to be a decent story, but then winds of fortune changed:

I gradually converged the two vibes, Metroid and Star Trek, together into one catch-all, one clear counterpart to The Curious Tale, and early in the 2010s I began conceiving of a story about a completely different starship on which Mereidi was a crewmember. I had an idea for a "walking simulator" video game—which I would still like to do at some point—where Mereidi wakes up after a medical procedure and finds the ship seemingly deserted.

Nothing came of that idea at the time either, but gradually I became more and more interested in the captain of Mereidi's ship, a gaunt and short person with silver hair named Cherry. She's the one who finally became the nucleus of a story that stuck.

"Galaxy Federal" refers to the entire legendarium as a whole, not any one specific story, much how "The Curious Tale" refers to everything set in the world of Relance. The name comes from a few things: 1) It's the name of the government; 2) it's a nod to the endearingly bad translation of the title screen of the original Metroid, where Samus receives her mission orders from the "Galaxy Federal Police"; and 3) it's descriptive, as I love thinking about and depicting bureaucracy. (Do you remember the video game Control a few years ago? Good grief I loved that game! Not for the gameplay or the mechanics, but for the brutalist aesthetics and the ridiculous inanity of this shadowy, quasi-competent US government agency whose purview is the realm of the supernatural. Delightful!)

The world of Galaxy Federal is set roughly 162,000 years in our future. In that time, humanity has spread across the entire Galaxy and is now in the process of beginning to infill the many star systems it initially skipped over. In this way, human civilization is a lot like an archipelago, little star-islands connected by extradimensional roads called Galaxy Vectors (modeled after the National Interstate Highway System) that allow the full breadth of the Milky Way to be traversed in a matter of weeks instead of millennia. Even so, relativistic physics are an important presence in Galaxy Federal storytelling, as the movements and communications within star systems are mostly relativistic, as are voyages to star systems with no Galaxy Vector access. (That's why Galaxy Federal is set as far in the future as it is: At sub-light speeds it took humanity a long time indeed to traverse the Milky Way to set up its Galaxy Vector system.)

Galaxy Federal represents a future where, at some point between now and then, humanity decided that the most efficient, most profitable, and most resource-minimized solutions aren't always the best ones. Dark indeed are the logical implications of the endless quest for more efficiency, and, among other things, there is no room for humanity as we know it in such a future. So, in Galaxy Federal, you will often see people doing things in ways that are not necessarily efficient so much as fulfilling. It's why starships have human crews at all. It's why people eat costly cakes and burgers instead of optimized nutrient slime. It's why people often visit each other in person to talk rather than using electronic communication. And so on.

The future of Galaxy Federal is essentially a human one. Galaxy Federal posits the "lonely Earth" scenario of intelligent life being extremely rare to evolve, and so there are no "alien" civilizations, no Klingon Empire; virtually every sapient being we encounter is a descendant or creation of humanity. But humanity itself has grown much more diverse. So, while many if not most meat-bodied humans look more or less like you or I do, there are all kinds of exceptions—both pragmatic for the purposes of living in different environments, and also aesthetic (because some people just really want to fly). In the time of Galaxy Federal humanity has taken control of its own evolution, and the practice of body modification has progressed extensively, so there does exist everything from bird-people to tree-people—all human in lineage. (There are also rare instances of members of other quasi-intelligent Earth species, like crows, lifted up into sapience.)

Humanity is broadly divided into three groups: 1) the "old humans" who live in meat bodies, though these bodies may be heavily modified; 2) the people who exist entirely within virtual worlds and have no physical body but are otherwise like "old humans" in intellect; and 3) people with constructed intelligence, who may exist in physical bodies or purely virtually; these people are what we would call artificial intelligences (or, sometimes, artificial general intelligences) today. These three groups of humanity are not "factions" in the political sense; there is no storytelling that I care to wring out of setting them against each other. Rather, they represent three different modalities for experiencing the world. And all acknowledge their human lineage. There is no "us versus them" mentality, for instance, when it comes to those whom we would consider AI. Everyone is human.

The political conflict, rather, emerges geographically, economically, and ideologically. For example, Galaxy Federal (the galactic federal government) controls most of the settled Galaxy, but there is a breakaway civilization as well, and war exists between the two. Galaxy Federal member states are like states of the United States in that they enjoy broad self-governing autonomy while still being subservient in some matters. Thus, the quality and texture of life is quite variable across the Galaxy.

One thing to appreciate about the civilization of Galaxy Federal is that everything is really, really big. Starships are huge; megastructures abound. There is a lot of hard science fiction to be found in this—and a lot of me running around behind the scenes with my hair on fire to make sure I don't accidentally create a ship so big that its energy requirements exceed the available energy of the Universe or some damn nonsense like that.

That's Galaxy Federal, the series, the franchise, the legendarium.

But what about the actual novel that I'm working on? Well, that's the novel about Cherry. It does have an official title, but I haven't announced that publicly yet, so for the time being the working title is "Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel," or GalFIN. 😏 (Just kidding, though that does sound like some kind of fun miniature-golf-adjacent leisure sport.)

I've said very little as yet about this story publicly, even though it has been in active development for over seven years. Here is what I can say about it today:

Diwa ng Seresa, more commonly known by her popular epithet Cherry Ilyapa, is a famous starship captain—the most successful and admired in all the War Sectors. But life is not easy for her, and she often skirts the line of oblivion. Now she is being promoted and reassigned, but on her final voyage she sees an upsetting photograph of a battle that she fought in many years ago. When she gets permission to investigate, Cherry and the Starship Sevenge unwittingly begin a journey into the unknown from which there is no return.

That's not the best back-of-the-book blub you've ever read, I grant, but it's the best I could do on short notice. Several fundamental details of the story and its arrangement are still in flux such that it is difficult to write any synopsis. But hopefully this does the job of intriguing your curiosity without giving away too much and/or becoming wrong or outdated in the future.

And I think that about does it for (re)introductions! Let me know if you have any questions.

#Galaxy Federal

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furious-rogue-stuff · 10 months ago

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Hi!!! First of all I wanna thank you for your writing❤️

I love Heat (already reading it for a second time from the beggining while i wait patiently for the new chapter!!☺️) and because i’m not a lot on tumblr and i didn’t know how it really works, i think I missed some of your explanation about the name Celina (?). It’s something random that you’ve decided to determine at this point of the story? Or it has a story behind?

Feel free to answer or not this question, i’m just curious!!! Thank you very much, again, and don’t worry if you think you make us wait for “too long”… it's worth the wait, always!!!

Have a happy new year!!😊⭐️

This makes me so happy ☺️ it's the biggest honor that you've read the story not once, but twice so far! If you haven't already, there are a few drabbles on here and my Ao3 of Javi x Querida that could hold you over too, and while not part of the main story they do tie to it.

As for Querida's true name? It's a long story.

Soooo for a long time I had planned to not reveal her name until closer to the end of the story. Heat is my first story written in "Reader/You" narrative style, but my intention wasn't for it to be a reader insert. Querida has a specific background and storyline, and while I do want people to envision what they want for her, she is still a character with a name, to me. The chapter her name is revealed to be Celina was the chapter where Heat officially moved from the canon story of Narcos (all the events from the series, and the plot points were completed in the 2 previous chapters before Chapter 40) to my continuation of Javi Peña and Querida's story beyond the ending of the series. It's a world inspired by true events, people, and places - but of my own vision. Having Javier call her by her name was my nod to Heat shifting into being officially a continuance of the story into a new series, so to speak. Some readers have affectionately called it "Narcos: Puerto Rico" 😄 and I love it.

As for the name itself: Celina Reinosa Restrepo is distinctive and uncommon in combination both in Colombia and Puerto Rico, so it stands out. Celina derives from Greek names like Selene or Selena, which meant "moon", but it's also inspired by the French name Celine, which means "heavenly". There's definitely some poetic references that can be made regarding her name and the melodramatic dynamics between Javi and Querida in the story 😁 And Reinosa is a very old, Medieval surname from northern Spain. Many are familiar with "Reynosa", which is the more common spelling in Central America (there is a city in Mexico named Reynosa), so while familiar, it still feels unique to most. It's derived from the Latin word for "royal" and sounds very regal; filled with distinction, which ties into the weighty expectations and legacy of her father. Restrepo is her mother's surname, and in Latin America, it's common that people use their full name on IDs and legal documents. Restrepo is a very common surname in Colombia (the equivalent of like, Brown, or Smith in the states), derived from a village of the same name in northwest Spain. Here's a very interesting background for why it became such a prominent surname in Colombia.

Since she's worked at the U.S. Embassy, it became common for her to go by just Celina Reinosa with her work colleagues and superiors, since it's not customary to use your mother's maiden name stateside.

Sorry for the super looooong background explanation and answer 😅

#Heat #Heat deets #Heat love #Querida name reveal #Latina OFC #Heat Spoiler Alert #Heat spoilers

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velvetvexations · 5 months ago

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Discussing race and my flailing at how to handle it in my writing. I don't mean to constantly just outsource my praxis but if anyone wants to comment or has suggestions they would be appreciated. I'm really hoping this is taken in the intended spirit of "I'm a white dumbass and fully admit I don't know what I'm doing". The point of this post is that I'm painfully aware of how inadequate my knowledge and ability to deal with these subjects is.

I'm gonna break down the racial makeup of the main cast of the current stage of my project:

C - White, which is critical because the entire work pretty much revolves around issues of praxis and him being white is a part of that even though I try very hard to mostly go around race and only really speak to queer issues I can more confidently address.

Z - White, and being white specifically is not especially critical but a big part of her whole thing is that she is much, much poorer and had a much worse home life than everyone else, so I am nervous having her be anything else even though, obviously, poor PoC with bad home lives exist.

J - I made the first inkling of J waaaaay back when I was a kid, as with every other character in this post, but J was the only one who had a defined race until the past two years. His original concept was an Asian martial artist who's a very devout Christian and while I've dropped the kung fu (he knows French kickboxing for complicated reasons but he's not any better at CQB than the other brawlers) he is still very spiritual and reserved and humble etc. and I'm like ahhhhh is this a stereotype? This is a stereotype right? Ahhhhh.

A - I've ran into SO MANY PROBLEMS with A where I keep having to change her race. I wanted her to be Mongolian but then I discovered the song Genghis Khan, really loved it, and was like "oh fuck this fits her too well, it would cause me physical pain to not include it on her playlist." So I said, okay, how about a quarter Black? Not for any particular reason, it just kinna came to me like a lot of stuff does, but then I was like, well, actually maybe she should just be Black? Not that quarter-Black people don't also need representation...so it was between those two until I realized an absolutely insane coincidence that made her being Black potentially offensive, so I switched her race with Z, but then Z being Black looked way worse and for way, way more obvious reasons, so I was like "okay that coincidence is bullshit and I'm probably the only person that would have even thought of that, I'm just going to commit to her being Black." but I'm still not entirely sure.

(That coincidence is that my writing adapts the Cthulhu Mythos and has a lot of really obscure references to Lovecraft, and since A is an albino whose mother was from Tanzania it suddenly struck me that people could see that as having been an intentional nod to The White Ape, which deals with someone's ancestor having been an albino literal ape-person from Africa. This would not be an issue if not for the tiny Easter eggs to super obscure Lovecraft Circle stuff I do in fact pepper everywhere.)

W - W was a biologically artificial creation that mixed the DNA of a white woman and her Native wife, but I changed that an outright clone of one of the latter to bump of the number of PoC who aren't half-white, but everyone would still be pretending that they're their white mother's biological child which could maybe be more fucked up than if I just let them be half-white? Is this just the progressive version of being anti-miscegenation?

I'm worried I'm overthinking it but idk! I have a lot of half-white characters it feels like, because my writing spans over a century with some ancestors rooted in canonical Lovecraftian texts and some of my own devising that require positions of privilege in white society, so have only been able to introduce more color in the work's "present day". But like I said, I know mixed-race people also exist and I don't want to erase them or act like they're less PoC or something, which I'm afraid is what I'm overcorrecting into.

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thiccpersonality · 8 months ago

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My Sweet Cup, Why Do You Taste So Bitter?

(Warning: Emotion/psychological and physical abuse, implied/Reference R*pe/noncon, manipulation, dubious consent, self-hate, self-h*rm (though it's not too explicit), etc. Minors DNI)

XXX

Bruce truly never enjoyed alcohol. He never liked the thought of losing control in front of people, and despite what things may seem, he doesn't have that great of a tolerance for it anyway. Of course just because he doesn't like to indulge in it much, it doesn't mean he's never drank it, only on certain occasions like weddings, very specific parties (like with close friends) or when he is feeling anxious and frantic about his thoughts.

And boy has Bruce been thinking a lot lately. He has been trying to figure out what he did wrong-scratch that-what his family did wrong to deserve the lot they've gotten in life. It's only been a handful of years since Superman turned into a psychopathic, grieving, dictator…but it feels more like a millennium.

Bruce's memory feels scattered over these past few years, maybe he has tried to bury these things away? Maybe he is regretting what he has and hasn't done before and after all this hell happened…he just wants to forget it all, but it seems that wish is only a dream. He can only seem to recall one of his biggest mistakes: the day Lois Lane died.

Bruce remembers Superman's stunned look, how he couldn't believe he was the one to murder his own wife and unborn child. Bruce remembers the man fleeing after killing The Joker and not being seen for months…well, that was until the alien came storming in during almost a full year of being MIA and attacking Bruce during his family dinner. The man won't ever forget the absolute fear he felt when Super-Kal-El directed one of his laser beams at Jason's leg with the threat that if anyone moves he'll start killing them off one by one.

Bruce recalls his children wearily looking around before sitting down, his family trying to check up on Jason without pushing too many boundaries. He remembers his family watching nervously as Kal-El held him by his neck while blaming him for Lois's death, he-he remembers his family's horrified gasps when the man switched his bruising hold to the nape of his neck and pinned him down to the dining table, ripping his pants off and growling at his squirming.

Bruce remembers the shame he felt at his family having to witness the moment, at having to witness their father and son be slapped around like a doll before Kal-El manhandled him back onto the table and thrust his way inside his unwilling body-

"M-Master Bruce!?"

The man comes to with a confused blink and a couple hiccups, icy blue eyes look down to see red covering his palm and the wine glass he was holding shattered in his hand. Bruce finds an odd sense of pleasure in the pain and only digs the glass in harder, stopping when an aged hand shakily rests over his own. "I think we've had enough drinks for the day. Allow me to clean this."

Bruce frowns at the sad tone in Alfred's voice, why does the man sound so regretful? Nothing that is happening now or back then was his fault, so why?

The drunken man allows his faithful friend to clean him up, Bruce sighing and hiccuping at the same time while Alfred dutifully pulls out the glass. "T-The wine tastes bitter, Alfred. It says it's sweet but I only taste bitterness." Alfred hums softly, "Is…is that so sir?"

Bruce hums in response as well and nods, "Yes. Maybe my life is meant to be bitter…maybe that's why sweetness only tastes like pain? Maybe that's why I can't be happy, Alfie. I am destined to drink from the cup of bitterness all my life, t-that's why I fuck up so much." Alfred's breath hitches and he quickly finishes patching his son up…he doesn't know how to comfort the man, he feels like nothing he says will reach his master's ears, so the man just offers his drunken son a falsified brave smile and tugs the man up.

"How about we head to bed, yes? You need some rest."

XXX

Bruce lies in bed alone and cold…the windows aren't open and it's not even cold outside, but he feels so hollow and alone. The man silently curses his mind for imagining Kal-El's arms wrapping around him, he really doesn't want to be thinking about the man...but years of being used has taken an effect on Bruce. He can barely do anything without thinking of Kal-El.

Bruce hiccups and wraps his arms around himself, trembling in his bed at the tears that prick his eyes and threaten to fall, his fists clenching from the anger he feels at imagining the warmth he feels being that of Kal.

I-If he closes his eyes, Bruce can imagine that his partner's hold is affectionate and loving, not painful and full of hate. The worst part for Bruce besides his family being caught up in this is the fact how much his heart hurts, he ended up having a bit of a thing for Clark and his alter ego Superman, but he never crossed that line though, the way his friend looked at Lois could not be mistaken for anything else but love. And back when things were better...Clark looked at him lovingly too...maybe not in the way he did Lois, but the man's deep blue eyes held a fond gaze for Bruce despite how difficult he's been.

Bruce gasps suddenly when that warmth he imagined only gets stronger, if he continues to focus he can actually feel those strong arms wrapping around him gently.

Bruce opens his eyes though when a warm tongue licks up his face and wipes up the tears that he didn't even realize fell. Old instincts kick in and the ex-vigilante raises his hand to swing at whoever is behind him, a chuckle escaping his intruder as large hands pin his arm to his side. "I wouldn't suggest doing that." Kal-El's voice rumbles behind Bruce calmly, and boy does the shorter man hate the way his body-despite all it's protests-sinks into the solid form behind him.

"G-Get out."

Bruce whispers pitifully and stiffens when the man moves forward. Great. Now he's gone and made Kal mad because he can never keep his mouth shut. The super surprises him however when his muscular arms wrap around his waist, the alien nuzzling his nose into Bruce's neck to smell the anger, fear, desire and want that protrudes from the man's trembling form.

"Why should I? I already know that you are thinking of me. That you are desiring to be held like this, hm? There's no one else who would even want to do it, but I do, I've come to love you so much Bruce. When you don't fight you are such a good boy."

Bruce really does hate how he shivers with pleasure at being told he's good. Though he truly wants to scream and cry that he isn't good, that he's completely messed everything up because-if nothing else-his existence is a curse on the world and his family. But...he can't say anything, all he does is sigh contentedly when Kal pulls him closer to his solid form, the man slowly releasing Bruce's pinned arm with a smile at how obedient his little bitch is, despite the inner turmoil the man obediently keeps his arm down.

Kal hums, pleased by the display of obedience, the man leaning forward to kiss Bruce's neck gently. Nipping, biting and sucking every spot he's come to know makes Bruce melt into a puddle. It's not often he treats the billionaire this gently...but the man has been so stupidly pitiful as of late and Kal-El has decided he mind as well try and soothe the man.

He knows that Bruce is fighting within himself, he can only imagine what his eyes look like right now, flickering back and forth from the abundance of troubling thoughts in his mind. But Bruce isn't the only one thinking here, Kal-El is too, he is thinking about how well he's trained the man, his little bitch, so well.

Kal hums and places a gentle bite on Bruce's shoulder, his palm reaching down to spread itself across the smaller man's stomach to pull him in closer, until Bruce's ass is meeting with Kal's pelvis. Bruce whines at the gentleness, h-he knows it's only a means to distract him...but it's working, it always works. The loving caresses, the passionate touches and loving hold always makes Bruce's skin prickle with goosebumps, it always makes him think of-"Clark..."

Kal tenses behind Bruce at the name, the shorter snapping out of his thoughts at realizing he said that out loud, his form trembles with fear again at how everything has stopped. Bruce's voice is pleading as he apologizes, "Kal-El! I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, please, I-I won't do it again-I swear I'll be a good boy."

Bruce flinches and curls inwards when Kal sits up, his arms rise to cover his healing face (a punishment from the last time he made Kal-El mad) with trembling arms, unaware of the man's once angered look turning into something heated at seeing Bruce beg for mercy. He really has taught Bruce well, hasn't he? And the man isn't fighting as much as usual, and good behavior deserves a reward. Kal-El ignores the pleas and leans in to nip at Bruce's earlobe, "Shh. It's okay, I won't hurt you. You look so good like this, you look so right begging and not talking back to me...you look like mine."

Bruce gasps for air and makes a confused noise when large hands gently wipe his tears away, how those hands rub his head gently and lower his arms. "I want you to say that again."

Bruce slowly looks up at Kal with a fearful and confused look, "S-Say what?" Kal smiles and pulls the man closer to him, "That you'll be a good boy for me. Cause you are, you truly are. It's just that you still have that fire in you that shouldn't be there, that makes you ugly and I want you to see that so you can be beautiful. Don't you want to be beautiful for me?" Bruce just stares for a second...does he want to be beautiful for Kal-El? Something inside of him screams defiantly that this is a trick, that he's being abused, but that part of him that craves attention and is tired of this all gently whispers that he should just stop fighting it and become Kal-El's good boy forever. No arguments. Hopefully the hitting will stop and maybe he'll be allowed to see his children more once again.

Bruce blinks back to reality and slowly loosens his posture, it's okay, it's all going to be okay. He can come back from this anytime, it's alright to choose to let go this one time. Bruce leans closer to the waiting man, "I-I can be Kal-El's good boy. I am a...good boy."

Kal-El's smile can only be described as predatory and victorious, the man leaning in close to nip at Bruce's lip while his body thrums with excitement at getting the usually disobedient man right where he wants him...even if it's only for tonight. Bruce gasps at how passionate the kiss is, his body shakes with delight and nerves from how enjoyable the other is making this experience for him...is this what he'll get if he chooses to listen?

"You are such a a good boy. And good boy's deserve rewards, hm? What do you think you deserve, Bruce?"

Kal looks at Bruce expectantly, as if it's another test, and that makes the latter man nervous. To be honest, his first reply is almost nothing...he deserves nothing, but Kal-El is the one that holds his chain-he has the reigns and power here-so maybe he should say, "Whatever Kal-El thinks I deserve." Ice blue eyes watch the other's face closely to see if he has failed, but the man's pupils dilate in pleasure from the answer and Kal just releases a shaky breath.

"Exactly. Whatever I choose to give you is what you deserve-" Bruce's head is tilted up so he can look up at Kal who is now floating above him like he is a god-"I knew you weren't completely useless. Diana has been telling me there's no hope for you, but I see you Bruce, I know your potential to be good and do good." Kal holds Bruce's chin in his hand, his eyes taking in the man's body and every scar, bruise and cut placed upon it, he especially takes in all the ones he's personally placed on the other.

The more he stares the more he hardens from the thought that, despite all of Bruce's struggling before, the man never once tried sleeping with anyone else after Kal slept with him. And despite this twisted thing he has with the man, that primal part of him is soothed at knowing how Bruce stayed obedient and faithful to him in that area, he even listens in on the man and he doesn't touch himself either. Kal-El has utterly destroyed this man for anyone else and that makes him overjoyed.

Kal lowers himself back down to the bed and presses Bruce against the mattress while his hands work on undressing the compliant man. "You are mine, do you hear me!?" Bruce nods and gasps when the other rips his shirt off and bites his nipple warningly, "Say it. Say you're mine!" Bruce trembles at the fear he suddenly feals, but he quickly suppresses it and keeps his voice steady when replying. "I'm yours, Kal-El. I'm yours alone." The man sighs at Bruce's words and licks at the puckered nipple in apology for the rough treatment.

"You are mine, Bruce-" Kal growls out-"Mine to love, mine to hate, mine to cherish, mine to despise, mine to hold, mine to push away; mine to caress, mine to hit, mine to use, mine to not use." Each word is finished with a trail of kisses down Bruce's chest, the man stopping at Bruce's groin and looking up at him with a possessiveness the smaller has never seen before.

"You are mine to build up only to make you crash down again." With those words Bruce gasps as Kal-El wraps his lips around him, the pleasure drowning out the pain for this moment in time.

XXX

Bruce is still lying in bed...but this time he's not alone. The exhausted man looks over at Kal-El, the man wouldn't stop having sex for even a moment, so now Bruce feels sore and sticky...but at least he's loved.

Love. Love. Love...what is love truly? Bruce's breath hitches and he quickly glances over to make sure Kal didn't hear him, lucky him that the man seems to be in a deep sleep tonight. Bruce tries his best to stop the tears from pouring down his face, but he can't, he feels dirty on the outside as well as on the inside. He feels confused at how satisfied one part of his mind is but the other half is bitter at how all this is a lie, but mostly, mostly Bruce is tired.

He is tired of all the cycles of hate, love, confusion and hope only to be brought back to that lonely state. But what if that's just Kal-El's way of loving now? Bruce's mind suggests, and a part of him hisses that it's a shit way of showing love...but that other defensive, unbelieving side of him argued back that it's not. He truly doesn't want to believe that this man he once knew has turned into...whatever he is now-a monster-that defiant part of him shouts.

The worst thing is that despite being warmed up he still feels cold. Yes he can feel that outer warmth...but on the inside he feels cold and alone a-and a hollow shell of who he once was. Bruce wraps his arms around himself again to hopefully warm himself up, to reassure himself that if no one else, he at least still has himself...right?

But I guess it doesn't matter. His cup of sweetness is destined to overflow with bitterness instead.

(I have been really wanting to write something about an evil Superman...I don't know why or how I went this route 😭. This Superman is such a jerk, I hate him so much! But if anyone reads this, you are appreciated! Whether you like it or not-but seriously, I don't know what was wrong with me while writing this...I feel so bad for Bruce 😢.

But just in case you couldn't tell, it is implied (more like hinted I guess) at one point that Kal is keeping Bruce away from his children. He only really allows Alfred to come see Bruce only to feed him and tend to any wounds, and the Kryptonite most likely was cleared out by Diana and the others who joined Kal-El after the dining room incident.

Also, the only reason Bruce's kids haven't tried to do anything yet is in fear of their dad getting killed or one another being harmed. Plus, Bruce probably begged them not to do anything to wild (especially Jason and Damian) which also probably shook them up a lot seeing their dad so afraid. And yes they are still close in this universe...I can't write bad dad's I guess? I have a great one myself so I feel it's a crime to write a horrible father 😂.

You lovelies please stay safe, happy, healthy and of course lovely as always. 💛)

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thesinglesjukebox · 8 months ago

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KACEY MUSGRAVES - "DEEPER WELL"

youtube

Kacey's music continues to evolve! Is it deeper? Well...

[5.94]

Hannah Jocelyn: Kacey Musgraves makes the second-best Kacey Musgraves song we're covering today. [5]

Aaron Bergstrom: "Deeper Well" sounds like someone else trying to write a Kacey Musgraves song without fully understanding why that's something people would want. Over the course of Musgraves' first three albums, culminating in the near-perfect Golden Hour, we got to know this incredibly likeable, relatable songwriter. Her little nods to things like cannabis and astrology were fun quirks, but never core to her appeal. Now it seems like she views herself as some kind of novelty act, Spacey Kacey as caricature, and so to get back on track after the relative flop of star-crossed she's maxed out those specific character attributes. As a result we get a flat triangulation of a song with clunky references to gravity bongs and Saturn returns that seem disconnected to the point of being meaningless. [4]

Dave Moore: Lesser Kacey Musgraves even before the gravity bong shows up. The songwriting's gone mushy and circular, which is a shame because minor Musgraves is often charming (my low-key favorite song from her first album is still "I Miss You"). She seems to think that her tell-don't-show version of finding purpose, which somehow has more crackpot woo-woo in it than friggin' Kesha, is going to make up for the fact that, songwise, she's not going anywhere. [5]

Isabel Cole: Astrology is fake but I too have felt the power of the Saturn return — not an overnight transformation but the dawning sense that perhaps after all I could choose something other than what had felt foreordained by my own gravity, a force that once had seemed to me more immovable than the stars. I love how gently Musgraves bids farewell to the past here: “no regrets, baby, I just think that maybe it’s natural when things lose their shine.” Many things are worth doing for a while; few things are worth doing forever. It’s a perspective on growing up not as an abandonment of the youthful self but simply as a movement into new territory. And the song is so pretty, in an easy way that sounds lovelier to my ears every time I listen — pretty like morning light in summer, unhurried, serene. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: Oh, so this song was co-written by Daniel Tashian, son of the legendary Barry and Holly Tashian, songwriters of "I'll Take My Time Going Home"? You mean this had no other choice than to be good? That's not fair!? I wanted a choice in thinking this was OK! [9]

Taylor Alatorre: "Deeper Well" illustrates its core concept a bit too faithfully for its own good. It revolves around a musical holding pattern which is meant to serve as a sonic rendering of our dangerously seductive habits and circular tendencies, then lingers about too long in this pretty but hidebound pattern of its own making. Good for a master's thesis in music composition, not so much for a lead single teased at the Super Bowl. Its saving grace is how it departs from the divisive sound of star-crossed without reading as a mewling apology for it, instead sounding like the genuine product of a woman who's had her dial turned to Sirius XM's The Bridge for the past six months (been there). [5]

Will Rivitz: In much the same way earth-shattering acid trip revelations translate unremarkably to plain English, "Deeper Well" relays its life lessons in the pedestrian scrawl of a hazy afterglow Notes app attempt. With few descriptive details sans a single reference to a gravity bong, Musgraves' (admittedly correct) insights that "some people are not worth my energy, smoking weed all day can be a waste of time, and it's OK that I grew up in a small town" come across flat. That she's backed by a track as insubstantial as her pen does her no favors. [4]

Leah Isobel: "You got dark energy / Something I can't unsee" is such a terrible line it honestly makes me wonder if Golden Hour was even any good. That twinkling, felt-coated piano at the high end does ease my doubts -- but only a little. [3]

Michael Hong: This is Kacey Musgraves diving into the lifestyle influencer grift (self-help manual to follow), her voice doubled to take on a detached yet authoritative sheen. It lacks nuance, yet you search for it anyway -- for me, it's the way she sings "I found a deeper well," the melody left hanging, the thought left incomplete. Against all reason, I'm sitting here at the bottom of it, waiting and still wondering what comes next. [6]

Katherine St. Asaph: Hot take: "You've got dark energy" is fine (scansion aside). It's "my Saturn has returned" that's the deeper embarrassment, and I'm not sure how one dislikes the first bit of woo while being fine with the other. Anyway, this is basically "Merry Go Round" grown shaggy and unkempt and sprouting little weeds of "The Sound of Silence," plus the me-first self-care message beloved of inspirational pop culture. Think "Yes, And?" with the subtext of cheating swapped out for a subtext of depression. Kacey just seems so unenthused, so resigned; the future she sings about doesn't seem to offer joy, just the lack of sunk costs. The subtext is so unconcealed and consistent that it feels like it must be deliberate -- but it can't be deliberate, because no one ever portrays this kind of mindset as bad. Or maybe it can't be deliberate because, judging by the arrangement, the deeper well she's found might just be reverb. [6]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: The central tension in “Deeper Well” is that the growth and wellness that Kacey is singing about sounds like it came from a deeply unwell place. She says goodbye to relationships that no longer fulfill her, drugs that no longer bring her the highs they used to, and dark energy that can’t be unseen—but through it all, she sounds the most contemplative and at peace she has been in years. Adulthood is about coming to terms with the fact that the choices that you made were the best decisions you had at the time, and about learning to forgive yourself for not having all of the answers—about love, friendship, self-care—magically from the start. How can a process that feels so ego-shattering and devastating ultimately be so good for us—and how can we forgive ourselves for fighting it? As a 27-year-old, I’m not exactly hearing “When I turned 27, everything started to change” objectively, nor do I want to. Sometimes a song arrives at the right moment in your life to hit perfectly. [10]

Mark Sinker: Not sure if I’ve ever gone on about this here, but a thing I’d love to read or to be directed toward is a deep comparative study of melody within different genres, the shapes and turns and cadences that evoke this milieu, versus the others usual to that one. The key phrase here seems to me highly untypical of the kinds of tuneline you’d expect to find in country, and not just because it’s drenched in big indie echo (plus whispered). What exactly is building up these expectations? I need someone with a YouTube channel and audio examples alongside the staves and dots and sharps and flats – even just an overhead projector and a long pointy stick. They can prove I’m very wrong if they like! (Maybe I am!) [9]

Ian Mathers: Not really a great sign when the most interest I can muster is in the way the bassline periodically threatens to pivot to full-on "Walk on the Wild Side." The "deeper well" stuff just isn't signifying for me, nor the "dark energy" bit. Sure, it sounds like personal growth, and I bet from the inside it means a lot, but it registers as... kinda nothing? There are a couple of floaty bits that are nice, and certainly nothing dips below "pleasantly competent," but if I could just about squint and see what people were raving about with "High Horse," my vision isn't quite as clear here. [5]

Alfred Soto: Kacey Musgraves makes agreeable music that holds my attention while it's on. "Deeper Well" has the misfortune to sound like middling Taylor Swift -- something from the back half of Speak Now, say. This well is shallow. [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: In a few years I will hear this while perusing vegetables at a nice grocery store and hum along pleasantly without being aware of what I'm doing. For now, in my conscious experience, I am utterly unmoved by her studied, philosophical blankness – people didn't like the last album very much, but at least it had hooks! [4]

Joshua Lu: In the over ten years since I first listened to Kacey sing about weed, it's been legalized in my state, I grew old enough to legally purchase it, I reached a point in my life where I wanted to dabble in it (2020 was a time), and I got hooked enough to build up a substantial tolerance. Through all this time, I had her music: rolling joints in "Follow Your Arrow," letting the grass just grow in "High Time," having a "Slow Burn." If she could've snuck in a reference to a bong in her Christmas album, I bet she would've. To hear Kacey sing about dropping weed thus felt more cataclysmic than anything else she could've done. Yes, I was excited by her return to a more standard country sound, even better with that metallic tinge that embellished some of her greatest recent work, but Kacey Musgraves singing about leaving weed behind? Listening to "Deeper Well," though, it can't help but feel natural: it was just a thing that she liked once but would rather leave behind, and some things in life are just like that. There's no judgement or embarrassment, just an acknowledgement of a change in her life, and I appreciate how the song isn't explicitly about getting wiser or more responsible or any of those things that people assume come with aging. It's instead framed as a continued discovery of who she is and what's out there in the world, and the route she took to become the person she is today. Funnily enough, I stopped taking weed this year too. I'm glad I now have a Kacey song for that process as well. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#kacey musgraves #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #deeper well #Youtube

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fr33ze-y0ur-br4in · 2 years ago

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.:*・°☆. Busy Times Mean Busy Mistakes.:*・°☆.

My link list here

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Fem! Reader (I DO NOT WRITE FOR XAVIER ANYMORE. DO NOT SEND ASKS FOR HIM!)

Summary: People tend to expect perfection from Principal Weems. Perfection tends to be what Weems provides. However, some mistakes tend to slip through the cracks of her frantic, stressed-out state of mind after the arrival of the Addams girl.

Warnings: fem! Reader, reader is an outcast but nothing specific about powers is mentioned, 2nd person POV (“you” used when referring to reader), slight spoilers for early episodes including Rowan, mentions bullying in the first paragraph during the mini-backstory, not much interaction with Xavier but I thought it was cute </3 (lmk if there’s anything else I should add)

Word count: 863

Genre: uhh really isn’t one tbh, fluff ig? Nothing super fluffy but it sets room for someone to request part two scenarios so eh

Beta/proofread mostly but I’ve added stuff since then so tell me if there’s mistakes pleaseee

Notes: MY FIRST FIC ON HERE AKSBJSJS- the prompt/idea I was given was provided by the dearest @1-800-olympians thank you for the inspo to start writing <3

A freak. That’s how many people at your old school would describe you in one word. The word kept bouncing around in your brain, haunting you in your nightmares of past experiences with bullies. When an incident with your main bully went a little too far and you clapped back a little too hard, your parents had finally decided it was time for a change. However, standing awkwardly in front of Weems’ desk, her switching back and forth between piles of paper and sighing exasperatedly every now and then, is not how you expected to see your new principal when first walking into the office.

“Uh… Principal Weems?” you say, getting her attention.

She tenses lightly, jumping at the sudden sound of your voice. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I hadn’t noticed you were there,” she chuckles lightly as she looks up at you. “Er- Y/n L/n, is it?” You nod in confirmation. “Second mid-year acceptance. Impressive records in terms of grades but questionable record,” she reads off a small description of you from the paper on top of a certain stack. “Right then, give me one moment.” She begins shuffling through the papers looking for your schedule and room assignment.

Checking over the paper, she notices she has yet to assign you a room. Muttering an apology under her breath about her messiness being unusual, she looks at the list of rooms empty. or partially empty, and assigns you the first one she sees, not bothering to check which hall it’s in nor the other occupant.

“There you are,” she says as she hands you the paper. “Enid will meet you in the front hall any moment now to show you around the school and you’ll start classes tomorrow morning. That ought to give you enough time to unpack and settle in,” explains the tired-looking principal. You thank her and make your way to find the werewolf showing you around.

————————

“And lastly, the courtyard! This is where basically everything happens,” the cheerful girl explains to you. “Not to mention the best place to find gossip for my blog,” she leans in and whispers to you as if telling top-secret information.

“Got it,” you laugh lightly, nodding at the girl. “So that tour showed me most of the classrooms and dorm halls, but can you tell me where this hall is?” you ask her, pointing to the hall on your schedule. The wolf furrows her eyebrows in confusion. “What…? What’s wrong?” you ask her.

“Nothing, it’s just…” she grabs the paper and moves the text closer to her face, muttering, “why did she assign you to that hall?”

“What’s wrong with that hall?” you copy her tone.

“Well technically nothing is actually wrong with the hall, it’s just weird she put you in it,” Enid explains, shrugging and handing you back the paper. Despite the weird reaction, she still points you in the direction of your dorm as the bell for the rest of the students to go to class rings. “See you in classes tomorrow!” she waves to you, running off to catch up with a black-haired girl and a guy in a beanie. After waving back, you make your way to your room.

————————

Unpacking your things took longer than you thought, the end of the rest of the students’ school day happening right as you finish assorting all your belongings. As you wait for your roommate—whom you had yet to get the name of—to get back to the room, you decide to just lay in bed and scroll on your phone.

The door opens a little while after you become absorbed in whatever silliness is on your screen making you fail to notice the boy in the doorway frozen, staring at you, confused.

He clears his throat, making you jump a little. The two of you just stare at each other, him standing at the door and you sitting on your bed.

You take the moment to observe him as he likely does the same. He’s tall. First and most obvious thing about him. Soon after, you see the shoulder-length brown hair. His eyes capture your attention next.

Woah, you think. He’s cute… hold on-

“Who are you?” you ask after a minute.

“I think I should be the one asking that.” After another moment of silence, he answers, “Xavier. Xavier Thorpe. And you?”

“Y/n L/n,” you respond. “Gonna go out on a limb and say Weems has me in the wrong hall,” you state, pulling a light chuckle from Xavier. He closes the door as he steps inside the room finally.

“Guess so. With all that’s happening, I can’t blame her. A lot of crazy stuff is happening right now.”

You hadn’t heard any of what had been going on. With how busy Principal Weems was when you had spoken earlier, you decided it’d be best to bring this problem up to her another time. “Mind filling me in? I’m sure we have plenty of time,” you say as Xavier sets his things down.

“I don’t see why not,” he shrugs, beginning the kooky stories that had occurred as of late.

Maybe the wrong hall assignment could be fun…

FIRST FIC DONE AHHHHH

Wanted to be tagged: @queerpumpkinnn (hope u like it)

#.:*・°☆. Claire’s Original Posts.:*・°☆.#.:*・°☆. Claire’s Original Fics.:*・°☆.#Xavier Thorpe x reader #Xavier Thorpe x f!reader #Xavier Thorpe x Fem!reader #Xavier Thorpe x female!reader #Wednesday characters x reader #Wednesday characters x f!reader #Wednesday characters x Fem!reader #Wednesday characters x female!reader #Xavier Thorpe fluff???#Xavier Thorpe fluff #Xavier Thorpe x y/n #xavier x y/n #xavier Thorpe x you #Xavier x you #Xavier Thorpe fanfic #Xavier fanfic

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illicitlimerence-writes · 2 years ago

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superheroes and flat caps | m. verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x singer!actress!reader word count: 9.4k words (i'm not sorry) request: yes, by anons: “hi babes, can i request a max v piece where you two met in monaco 2021 and you hit it off and became best friends and then started dating in december after he won the championship and your relationship wasn't public but there were speculations (reader is a famous singer and actress) and then miami gp 2022 after his win max just kisses the reader and thus outs them? 🥺” & “how about a fic of being best friends with max but he has such a soft spot for the reader and they pretty much act like a couple? 🥺” & “helloo! could i maybe request a fic where max is teaching the reader how to drive a manual. like it would just be super cute and fluffyyy. also, i really love your workss ❤️” & “hi can i request something where reader has a really bad panic attack and no one can help her calm down but max? warnings: this is really freaking long and i haven't slept in like 24 hours. not proofread bc i really wanted to post this rn. language, time skips, mentions of j*s verstappen, h*rner, m*rko. drinking(legal), idk what else. a/n: well that was an interesting weekend.

my masterlist

(post-race max supremacy)

may 20th, 2021.

the first time she set foot in monaco, she didn’t know what to expect. she’d been invited to the f1 race weekend in monte carlo, which was both nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. she was new to all the glitz and glamour of fame, and she only had what she’d seen in movies as reference to how monaco was.

she had the vip pass hanging from her neck, since she hadn’t been invited by a team specifically, she was free to roam around wherever she wanted to, which was nice, but at the same time, she didn’t have one specific spot that she could claim as hers. she was walking through the paddock, spotting many a-list celebrities, most of them probably didn’t even know who she was, but her fans did recognize her.

“hi, can we take a picture with you?” two girls about her age stopped her, she smiled and nodded.

“of course!” she grinned at the camera waving at the girls as they left, she took a step back, stumbling into a person passing by, “oh, god, i’m so sorry!” she apologized quickly, seeing a guy wearing a red bull polo and cap, she recognized him, it was the red bull racing star, max verstappen. “sorry, i didn’t look where i was-”

“it’s okay, don’t worry,” he gave her a small smile, she felt her cheeks heat under his stare, “are you lost?” he asked.

“uh, i actually don’t have anywhere to go, i don’t really know where i’m supposed to be,” she chuckled, feeling a small knot of nerves in her stomach. “i wasn’t invited by a team and it’s my first time here and-” she took a deep breath, “and now i’m rambling and wasting your time, i’ll find my way eventually, don’t wo-”

“you can come with me if you want,” he offered.

“oh no, i’m sure i’ll be fine,” she shook her head, taking a step back, accidentally colliding with another person, “sorry!” she apologized again, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

“really, i think it will be better for the whole paddock if you crashed in the red bull garage,” he chuckled. she covered her face with her hands, laughing lightly, “come on, we don’t bite,” he winked at her, she nodded after a few seconds, a small smile on her face.

“are you allowed to bring in strangers to the garage, though?” she asked.

“well, you’re not a stranger, everyone here knows who you are!” he smiled.

“wha- you do?”

“of course! one of my best mates is a huge marvel nerd and he made me watch the show you’re in,” he laughed. “i liked it, didn’t understand much of it, but i enjoyed it. and your character, you were my favorite,” he nodded, and the heat in her cheeks intensified.

“thank you, i wasn’t too sure if the public would like me, or the character, but-”

“are you kidding? you were the best part of the show. i didn’t really connect with the story at first. the whole, switching decades and references to old sitcoms was neat and all, but there was something missing, i was about to change and put another show or film but when i saw your face on the screen i just knew things were about to get interesting,” she was left speechless, then a huge grin formed slowly on her lips.

“thank you,” she said, biting her lip as she felt a funny feeling in her stomach. they reached the red bull hospitality, he let her in first, her eyes went a little wide as she saw everything. “this is nice,” she said.

“yeah, much better than anything else you could find out there,” he winked, again. she laughed, nodding.

“maybe,” she said.

it was pretty early, and they still had a few hours left before he had to prepare for the first practice session. he invited her to his driver’s room.

“you can wait there if you don’t want to be bothered by anyone while i’m gone,” he said, and it made her feel warm inside, that even though they had only just met he was already looking out for her.

they talked about anything and everything they could think of, finding out they had more in common than they thought at first. her anxiety disappeared as she got to know max, it was like talking to an old friend. the jokes started mere minutes after they sat down next to each other.

she told him about her switch from singing to acting, a scary process that made her doubt her skills.

"i've only been doing this for a short time, it was risky because i could've lost everything i have, but i think it worked out in the end," she still couldn't believe how much her life had changed in just two years. her rise to fame came thanks to her music, but when she told her manager that she wanted to try acting as well, and the opportunity to be part of such an ambitious show like ‘wandavision’ was a once in a lifetime opportunity. plus, the character she performed was one that nobody really expected. a female version of an iconic character was something that raised eyebrows at first, "did you always know that racing is what you wanted to do?" she asked,

"it's really not like i had any other choice, of course i enjoy doing it, and i have from a young age, but there was never really a plan b for me. i have been surrounded by this my entire life and it's what comes natural for me. i don’t really know what else i could do. but now we’re here, and i have a chance at winning the championship. that’s the goal,”

“is it your goal, though?” she asked, the words slipped out of her lips without thinking twice, and she only noticed what she’d said after she noticed that max didn’t reply for a few seconds. “i mean, are you really doing this for yourself, or because you feel like you have to do this to get your parents’ approval? but you obviously do have the passion and love for it, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.”

“no, you- you’re right,” he admitted, “of course, at first i was really influenced by my dad, especially, i wanted to make him proud, and hopefully achieve what he couldn’t, but it’s become my life now. it’s what i love, it’s what i want to do, now i’m doing this for me.”

“you don’t have to explain yourself to me, i didn’t-”

“no, no, you’re okay, haven’t had a deep talk like this with someone in a while.” he chuckled, she smiled.

“so, what happens today?” she asked, crossing one leg over the other, she leaned back against the couch in his driver’s room.

“we have free practice 1 and 2 in a bit, with a few hours break between each. practice is when we learn the track, even if you’ve been here before you still need to see how this year’s car will perform, but you have to be careful with all the tight corners, you don’t want to mess up your car, especially tomorrow before qualifying,” he explained.

“that’s when you figure out which order you’re starting on sunday?” she asked, even though her knowledge of the sport wasn’t that vast, some of the things she’d researched stuck with her.

“yeah,” he nodded. “there’s still some time left before fp1, why don’t we go down there? i can show you around,” he offered.

“oh, no, i- i don’t want to- you should probably start getting ready and i don’t know, train? before you get in the car, and-”

“you ramble a lot,” he noticed, “it’s cute,” he smiled. again, she felt her cheeks getting warm. “here’s a thing about me, if i didn’t want to do something, i wouldn’t offer. so, come on,” he got up, offering his hand. she thought about it for a second, but smiled, placing her hand in his as she got up.

“but you have to tell me when you need to leave, okay? i might be new to this but i can also take care of myself. and, i don’t want to be the reason you don’t perform well today,” she followed him out of his room, walking down the stairs.

“you can just stay in the garage if you want to,” he shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing, “wait, you should wear this,” he said, taking off his cap and placing it on her head, “there. and if anything, your presence there will just be another reason for me to try my best.”

“i never thought you’d be a sweet talker,” she let out a chuckle as they reached the garage.

“there’s a lot of things no one knows about me, schat,” he raised his eyebrows, a big smile on his face.

“oh, we’re starting with the nicknames so soon? okay. i’ll come up with something for you, then,” she chuckled.

“i’m sure you will, quicksilver,” he said, she rolled her eyes. her character in ‘wandavision’ was a female version of pietro maximoff, from a different universe, it certainly caught people’s attention, especially with the presence of the other pietro already in the show.

“that could be your nickname, though. you know, because you go really fast in the car,” she explained, lifting an eyebrow.

“we’ll both be quicksilver, then,” max nodded, and so did she, “okay,”

“okay.” she agreed, “now, teach me your nerdy f1 ways,”

the media was so confused after that thursday. both she and max were approached separately during the whole weekend, asking if they knew each other from before, what their relationship was like.

it was refreshing to create a bond with someone new so easily. it truly felt like they’d known each other in their past lives. they got along from the moment she stumbled into him, they could bounce off the other’s jokes, they created a chaotic environment in the red bull garage, -a band that granted her access to the garage now secured around her wrist-, one they hadn’t seen since 2018 when daniel and max were still teammates.

when max was gone, though, she hid back in her shell. but with him next to her, she didn’t care who was watching, he brought out the best of her.

may 22th, 2021.

he’d explained the day before how much he wanted to get a podium in monaco, it was his home now, and since starting his f1 career he’d never had the chance to step on the podium.

“your time will come, you just have to be careful,” she told him before the saturday qualifying session. “i’m sure it’ll come eventually. maybe even tomorrow, but you know you’ll have more chances here,” she reminded him, he nodded his head.

“i don’t know why i’m surprised that you’re good with speeches, you basically write poems for a living,”

“i know, i know, i’m the best,” she batted her eyelashes, making him laugh and throw an arm around her shoulders.

“it’s insane that we only met yesterday,” he said.

“i know. i’m not complaining, though,” she chuckled.

“yeah, me neither,” he let out a deep breath. “weekends will be boring from now on, without you here,”

“aw, but haven’t you heard that distance makes the heart grow fonder?” she teased, taking max’s cap from a nearby chair and putting it on.

“that’s bullshit, distance only creates issues.” he scoffed, she frowned.

“you really think so?” she asked, throwing her legs over his lap, her back against the arm of the couch.

“it’s what i’ve experienced,” he said, his voice low. she noticed him tensing as he spoke, so she didn’t pry anymore.

“well, maybe it won’t be like that this time,” she smiled at him. he turned his head to look at her, to her hopeful eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile at her, too. he even felt his cheeks flushing.

“thirty minutes, max!” the knock and call from outside of his driver’s room startled them both, she started laughing at her own reaction, to avoid embarrassment.

“i have to get ready,” he said, patting her knee and lifting her legs as he got up, only to place them back down on his couch. he walked to a small closet where he kept his fireproof undershirt and pants, he took them out and placed it on the massage table set against the wall. without muttering a word, he started taking off his shirt.

“whoa! a little warning, please!” she covered her eyes with her hands, hearing his laugh.

“oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal,”

“well, let me tell you, mr. verstappen, that guys usually take me out on a couple of dates before i see them shirtless,” she stood up, peeking from behind her fingers, seeing his naked back toward her. she walked to him and slapped his head, snickering as she heard a loud ‘ow!’ from the dutchman. “perv,” she smiled, walking to the door.

“are you mad?” he asked, she turned to look at him, opening the door. she shook her head side to side, the same grin on both of their faces. “hope you enjoyed the show!” he said as she took a step out of his room, his fireproof undershirt in his hands.

“quali is supposed to be the show, max! i’ll be in the garage, magic mike,” with that she shut the door, she heard max’s loud laugh, a small chuckle left her lips as she felt her cheeks warm. that seemed to be the permanent state of her face when she was around max.

may 23rd, 2021.

“what are you doing?” max asked, she had her hands on his shoulders, her eyes closed.

“i’m passing all my quicksilver superpowers to you,” she replied, a small smile on her face. she’d noticed he was quite nervous before the race, and she wanted to show her support for her new friend.

“you do know that’s just in the show, right?” he asked, amusement clear in his voice. she peeked one eye open, seeing a big grin on his face. she patted herself on the back mentally, it was working.

“shut up, do you want the powers or not?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she stayed with shut eyes.

“fine,” he said.

she felt nervous as she walked alongside the red bull team to the podium. she didn’t really know anyone, but max had asked for her presence.

‘if i get a podium, no matter where i finish, i’d like to see you there.’ he told her before the race started. she felt the same funny feeling from friday in her stomach. she only nodded her head, letting him get back to his pre-race training.

and not only had he scored his first monaco podium, but he’d also won the race. the mechanics noticed her, and parted so she could squeeze her way through, so she was now against the barriers. she watched as max parked the car in front of the ‘1’ board, he turned off the car and took out the steering wheel so he could get out, placing it back after he got up.

the loud cheers from the people around her made her smile, she found herself doing the same. max congratulated the other two podium finishers, and finally, he made his way to his team. he jumped and they held him up, clapping his back, his helmet, his arms. even his butt. she laughed, watching as he took his helmet off, walking to her.

“i don’t want to say the powers worked, but…” she didn’t get to finish her sentence, as max wrapped his arms around her frame and pulled her as close to him as possible. she hugged him, hiding her face in his neck.

“thank you for your superpowers, quicksilver,” he said. she felt his breath on her ear, he sounded sincere. “thanks to you i won the race today,” she felt small tears in her eyes as she heard his words.

“no, you did all this by yourself, max.” she said, and max leaned back. he noticed the small tears in her eyes. “but you can keep the superpowers for as long as you need them,” she smiled, unwrapping his arms from him, letting him go to his post-race interviews and podium celebrations. he tapped the cap she was wearing, she winked at him.

june 24th, 2021.

“what do you mean you don’t know how to drive?” max asked, she rolled her eyes.

“manual. i don’t know how to drive a manual,” she corrected, kicking him.

“well you’re lucky your best friend drives for a living,” max said, standing up and offering his hand.

“aw, so you’ll be my chauffeur from now on?” she teased, smiling.

“i already am and don’t even get paid,” he shook his head, grabbing her hand and lifting her back from her bed. “i’m teaching you how to drive,” he declared.

“no, max, i’m fine with only knowing automatic,” she protested, but max was already walking to her luggage and grabbing a pair of shoes for her.

“you never know when you’ll need it,” he said, kneeling in front of her as he helped her put on her shoes, “come on, cinderella,” he picked her up by the waist and started walking with her in his arms.

“put me down!” she laughed, “where are you even going to teach me how to drive?” he put her down, and gave her a stern look. “oh, no! no, we’re not going to-”

“are you ready?” max asked, they both had helmets on, she had a frown on her face.

“i hate you,” she whispered, turning on the car. she was aware of the cameras set up all over the car, recording everything they said or did. “go on,” she took a deep breath.

“hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. i know it’s probably too late, but you can still back out, or i can go first,”

“no, you were right, i have to learn at some point. and i guess you’re the best teacher anyone could ask for,” she replied. max was looking at her, and there was something in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. like a sparkle, a gleam.

“i’m glad you feel that way,” he smiled. “ready?” he asked, she nodded, smiling at the camera. “hello, guys. max here, and today i’m joined by my friend, (y/n) (y/l/n),” he pointed at her, she waved to the camera, smiling. “we are here in austria, on the red bull ring track, because today i will be teaching (y/n) how to drive.”

“a manual!” she clarified, throwing him a dirty look, “i do know how to drive automatic, but this dork insists that i need to learn how to drive a manual as well. so here we are, pleasing the diva,” max rolled her eyes at his words.

“anyway, hope you guys enjoy. and pray for me,”

“shut up!” she laughed, slapping his arm.

it was already nerve-wracking enough to be driving with a literal professional racing driver next to her, but add to that the fact that they were in an f1 track, with dozens of people watching. she was nervous, and he could see that.

“so we’ll start slow, there’s really not much of a difference, you just need to coordinate the gear change and your feet.” he explained.

max was, surprisingly, a really great teacher. she didn’t know if it was because she was the student, but soon enough she found herself speeding on the main straight.

“brake, slowly, and switch,” he said a few seconds before she had to do it, so she had enough time to react and not screw up the beautiful honda car they were lent.

“am i doing it?” she asked, thinking out loud.

“you are, look at you!” max smiled, tapping the hand she had wrapped around the stick shift. “and you said you didn’t want to learn,” he turned to look at her, seeing an adorable frown between her brows, what he’d deemed as her concentration face.

“max, i’m driving a manual!” she squealed, her eyes flicking between the road ahead and her best friend sitting next to her.

“i told you, you could do it, schatje,” the nickname slipped from his lips easily, she’d taken a liking to the word since the first time she heard it. she liked it when she heard him say it, specifically. “there you go, keep going. if you can handle the curves you’ve got it,” he continued telling her what to do, and soon enough they finished their first lap. there was an excited smile on her face, and a proud look on his. “you’ve got it,” he clapped his hands as they approached the spot where they had started.

“that was really fun,” she had both hands on the wheel now, gripping so tight that her knuckles were turning white. “i feel like my heart’s coming out of my chest,” she chuckled, placing a hand on her chest. “thank you,” she smiled, her cheeks hurting.

“you might give me a run for my money,” he leaned his head, covered by the helmet, against the headrest, face turned her way. she chuckled as she did the same. they both stayed quiet, the comfortable silence speaking louder than any words both of them could’ve said at that moment. the only thing they could hear were their deep breaths, “i have an idea, let’s switch,” max said, unbuckling his seatbelt and running to the other side of the car. he opened the door for her, helping her out, “are you ready for your own hot laps experience?” he told her, her eyes widened.

“are we allowed?” she whispered, he bumped his helmet against hers. they were both wearing the same design, the same as his racing helmet.

“who cares?” he asked. she smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing to where max was sitting before. they buckled their seatbelts, twin mischievous grins on their faces as they watch the confused stares from people outside. photographers, people from media outlets, the red bull marketing team. “ready?”

“let’s go, quicksilver,” she smiled, she hadn’t called him that in a few weeks. her back was flat against the seat, she bit her lip as she tried to contain an excited squeal.

“don’t hold back, schatje, let it out,” he said, looking at her from the corner of his eye. she shook her head slightly, and max chuckled, going even faster. and this time, she did let out a loud laugh.

“you’re going too fast!”

“you want me to slow down?” he asked between his own chuckles.

“no!” she continued laughing. “i trust you,”

august 14th, 2021.

she furrowed her eyebrows as she locked her phone, tossing it inside her bag. she hadn’t received a text from max since the day before, and she was starting to worry. everytime they were apart for more than two weeks, she thought back to what he said the day after they met, about distance only screwing things up.

they hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. after the first weekend in austria she had to fly back to atlanta to film a movie. her first marvel movie. max had been so excited when he found out that they’d added her character at the last minute, changing the original script to feature her.

june 30th, 2021.

“i have to leave tomorrow,” she said, and his face fell. “i’m sorry, i know i promised to be here for the two races here, but i-”

“it’s okay, you can’t turn this down, i understand.” he gave her a small smile, but he barely lifted the corners of his lips.

“i feel bad,” she pouted, and max wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“don’t. this is something that we have to celebrate,” he pushed aside his feelings, he had to be a good best friend for her, just like she’d done many times for him. “we should go out," he said.

"out, where?" she asked.

"to party, you're going to be in your first major film. i can call some of the guys and tell them to meet us in a club or something," max pulled out his phone, he started scrolling through his contacts, she placed her hands on his.

"i don't need anyone else," she said, "i will have as much fun just with you then with a hundred people. i don't care how many celebrities, fans, or people in general are there to celebrate my accomplishments if you're not there."

the next morning, she woke up with a pounding headache and an arm around her waist. a strong chest was rising up and down, pressed against her back. she tried to turn around, but stopped once she felt someone breathing on her neck. she looked down, recognizing the hand that was holding her back.

she wanted to smile, to voice out the feelings inside her chest as she saw max cuddling her in his sleep. instead, she swallowed, pushing the feelings aside. carefully, he removed his arm from her, replacing her body with a pillow that he could hold on to. she checked the time, it was still early. once she heard max snoring lightly again, she stepped in the shower of her hotel room, she didn’t wash her hair to save time. she changed into sweats and a hoodie. she would’ve picked one of his hoodies, but he usually didn’t wear them. instead, she picked up one of his caps, adjusting the strap in the back and putting it on.

max woke up to an empty bedroom about two hours later, a text waiting for him.

‘had to run! thank you for last night, i had so much fun. good luck on your race, quicksilver!’

she landed in atlanta about 18 hours later, after a layover in london. she was exhausted, the entire flight she could only think about max. about the way they danced like no one was watching them, as if they were the only people in the world. she thought about the way he stared at every guy who even thought about looking her way, sending them a death stare that kept them away. she thanked him by brushing his hair away from his face, placing her hand on his cheek and rubbing it softly.

she arrived in her hotel, seeing her agent waiting for her there.

“i’ve been trying to call you,” was the first thing he said. she frowned.

“my phone died on my way here,” she pulled out her phone, seeing the black screen, “why? what happened?” she asked. her agent shook his head, handing her a black card.

“here’s your room key, 20th floor, room 33. get some rest, rehearsals start tomorrow. and please, don’t stay awake too late, the walls here are thin,” he said before walking away. now she was really confused. she stepped in the elevator, pushing the button for the 20th floor. after the doors opened, she looked for the door with the number 33 on it. she sighed, thinking about max again.

she didn’t expect to find the lights of her hotel room on. and she didn’t expect to hear someone talking.

“i know. i will be there in time, i promise.” she must’ve been hallucinating. he couldn’t- “yes, christian, i know. i will be in the car by the time fp1 comes around, that’s the only thing that matters,”

“max?” she asked, eyes wide.

“i have to go.” he hung up, cutting his boss off mid-sentence.

“wh-what are you doing here?” she asked. she still couldn’t believe he was there.

“you left. and you didn’t say goodbye,” he answered, walking to her. “so i came here,”

“ho-how did you even get here faster than me?” she furrowed her eyebrows once he was standing in front of her.

“private jet. which, you could’ve used if you had woken me up instead of leaving like that,”

“i-i had to leave,” she answered.

“but why did you leave like that? are you mad at me? did i do something?”

“no, no. i just… i don’t know, i didn’t want to bother-”

“you never bother me. you’re my best friend, sure, you’re annoying sometimes, but you could never bother me,”

she smiled, a real smile. her eyes scanned his face, seeing nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“you flew to the other side of the world just to say goodbye,” she pointed out, taking a step toward him.

“i had to get my cap back,” he said, she could see his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. she didn’t buy his words.

“how many girls have you done that for?” she lifted an eyebrow, leaning her weight on one leg.

“none. only you,” he replied without missing a beat. “you should know by now, there are things i can do only for you.”

“lucky me,” she smiled. and this time, she couldn’t ignore the feeling in her stomach, that was now traveling to her chest as well.

she thought about the last time she saw max. when he flew across the globe just to see her and wish her good luck on her new project. she bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back a grin. she really wanted to see him again. but he was on holidays, and with his tight, hectic schedule, he had to take every opportunity he was given to rest and focus on the next half of his season.

his last race before summer break was not one he wanted to remember. she wanted to be there for him, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. she was afraid that max’s thoughts about distance were coming true.

she heard a knock on the door of her trailer. her fifteen minutes were up. she adjusted her costume, getting ready to shoot the next few scenes. she walked a few meters to set, seeing the blue and green screens where the locations would be added later. she watched in silence as two of her co-stars were wrapping up a scene. she walked to where her designated chair, was, but found someone sitting on it.

“hey, i think you have the wrong chair,” she whispered, tapping the person on the shoulder. “max!” she whisper-yelled, aware that she couldn’t be too loud or the mics would catch her words. “what are you doing here?! you didn’t answer my texts and- and you’re supposed to be in croatia!” she said, taking his hand and leading him to the back, where they could talk freely without the chances of their conversation ruining the shot.

“i missed you. and i had this week off, so, i flew here,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“god, i missed you too. come here,” she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands went to her waist, pulling her close, being careful with her costume. “i can’t believe you’ve surprised me here twice,” she laughed, burying her face in his chest, she inhaled, the scent of his cologne registering again, she’d almost forgotten what it smelled like.

“and i’ll do it more and more if it means seeing that happy look on your face,” he tapped her nose, making her giggle softly. “look at you, quicksilver, you clean up nicely.”

“thank you, thank you,” she twirled, allowing him to see the whole outfit.

“i brought my cap but i think everyone will kill me if i ruin your look,” they both laughed.

“you’re just in time to see one of my big scenes! come on, let me introduce you to everyone,” she grabbed his hand, dragging him as she led him to the set, where they were setting everything up for the next scene. “how did you even get in here?” she asked, lacing her fingers between his.

“mark,” he answered. of course, her agent.

“oh! did i ever tell you that he thought we were dating?” she said, and max’s heart skipped a bit.

“wh-what?” he asked. she smiled, nodding.

“yeah, remember when you first came here? he told me to watch out for the thin walls of the room, his room was next to mine, and he thought we would… you know,” she felt her cheeks blushing as she thought about what everyone else must think when they see her and max together.

“oh,” max said, swallowing nothing again.

she had to bite her tongue to avoid saying something else, he clearly was uncomfortable with the idea of them being together. it was clear.

december 4th, 2021.

her nails were long gone. she had a lump in her throat each time she watched max approach a corner, which in this track, was almost every second. the second she saw the track layout, she knew that this wasn’t a safe circuit. she’d tried to voice this thoughts to max, but he shrugged and just said that there was nothing he could do about it.

“i’m not asking you to rebuild the circuit, i’m asking you to be careful.” she snapped at him. they were in the garage, he was about to go out for the qualifying session, and the crash from earlier had left her a little shaken up.

“i will be fine, why are you worrying? you’re never like this,” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“just… be careful, okay? the real work is tomorrow. don’t push the car too hard,”

“that’s exactly what i have to do,” he answered, putting on his white balaclava. “that’s how quali works,”

“on a different track, one that you know, maybe. not here. the position you start in won’t matter if you don’t even start.”

he wanted to ask her why she was telling him this, but was ushered to the car as lights were about to go green.

it was hard watching him be so pissed at himself. she hated being right about this. but she knew max, she knew that he could be impulsive, letting his instincts get the best of him. she had a feeling he would push to the limit to get that pole position. instead, he couldn’t even finish what could’ve otherwise been one of the greatest qualifying laps in history.

it took a while before she could actually see him after the session. everyone could see that he was bitter about his failed lap. she was waiting for him in his driver’s room, her leg bouncing up and down as she thought about a good speech to tell him.

the door opening startled her. max’s hair was still sweaty, his fireproof clinging to his skin. he started removing it, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“are you happy?” he said. she frowned, looking up.

“what?”

“your little speech, you got in my head and i didn’t perform my best,” his words were short, stern.

“you’re saying it’s my fault? max, i literally warned you, i was looking after you,” she stood up, walking to him.

“get out,” he said.

“what?” she asked, her heart pounding. she tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look at her.

“get out, i- i don’t want to see you right now.”

“max, what’s going on with you? are you listening to yourself?”

“yes, i know what i am saying. i don’t want you here. not tomorrow, or next week.”

she gasped, the air stuck in her throat.

“you’re just a distraction,” he finished. he turned his back to her, placing his hands on the massage table. for once, she was glad he couldn’t see her, or the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. she grabbed her bag, knowing it was useless to try and reason with him when he was like this. “i need my cap back,” he told her. she took a deep breath, removing the hat from her head and throwing it on the floor.

“this isn’t you,” she said as she opened the door, closing it behind her as she saw him turning around.

december 5th, 2021.

she was in her hotel room, watching the race happening only a few kilometers away. she wanted to be there, she wanted to be the first person max saw as he stepped out of the car, but she didn’t know how he was feeling.

of course she was feeling hurt, but deep down, she knew that he didn’t mean his words from yesterday, she knew those weren’t his words. she had experienced a plethora of different max moods during race weekends, but this was different. he had never been this close to winning a championship even with one race to go. every other race looked like child’s play compared to this. the pression was on him, by his team, by himself, and by his family.

she’d tried many times to convince him that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t get it that year, but he would always say that ‘this was his year’.

it was horrible not being able to be in the paddock. she hadn’t been able to sleep all night, and she’d spent the entire day locked in her hotel room, watching through her window as the track began filling with fans, she could hear the rumble of the engines, the roar from the crowds. she didn’t have any nails left, so she grabbed a red bull cap she found amongst her stuff and started playing with the velcro strap to deal with her nerves and anxiety. she knew it probably wouldn’t work afterward, but it was everything she could do.

seeing him standing on the podium, faking a smile, knowing that he didn’t have anyone to hear him out, hear his real thoughts, the ones only she had the privilege to hear, broke her heart. the next race would be great for the fans, but it would take a great toll on max’s mind.

she saw his face on the tv, she could see the dark circles under his eyes, the exhausted look on his face. she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, make him hide his face in the crook of her neck, and whisper that everything would be okay. that she was proud of him no matter what, that she loved him more than anything else in the world.

instead, she fell asleep on a cold bed, with no one by her side.

december 12th, 2021.

it was like being in monaco all over again. she had nowhere to go. she knew that if she stepped in the red bull hospitality or garage they wouldn’t kick her out, but she also knew that max didn’t want to see her. it was two hours until lights out, and the drivers were doing their usual ‘class of 2021’ picture before stepping onto a bus to take a few laps around the track for the drivers’ parade.

this time, she was on top of the garages, she could see the pitlane from her spot. she heard the mercedes drivers being interviewed, could see what the cameras were recording on one of the screens stuck to the wall. the drivers as well, they could see the same broadcast.

it was now max’s turn to be interviewed, he smiled as he waved at the fans, he was distracted by the sudden cheer from the crowd.

“she’s back,” he heard from behind him, pausing his answer to look at the big screens. he gasped, clearing his throat to pretend that everything was alright. the rest of the drivers had gotten used to seeing her around, it was weird for everyone when they saw her on friday and saturday, but missed the race.

she frowned as he heard max stumbling on his words, the small truck was passing by the main straight, below from where she was. she was standing up, her hands against the concrete wall that reached up to her waist. she turned her head to one of the screens. it was like a chain, she saw max looking at her in one of the screens. the delay made it obvious to everyone that she was the reason he reacted that way.

she had to get out of there. she turned around just as the truck was stopping, the drivers rushing out of there in a hurry. she squeezed past other celebrities, trying to make herself as small as she could to go by unnoticed. she tried to hide her face behind the cap she was wearing. the only one she could find was a generic red bull cap, it didn’t feel like the one she was used to wear. his. max’s.

she made her way down the stairs, walking the opposite way from the rest of the crowd. she kept her head down, but had to look up when suddenly everyone was moving out of her way, making a free path for her.

max was walking toward her, people were actively stepping aside to let him through. she turned back around and started walking away, but stopped when she felt a hand grabbing her arm. she tried yanking her arm away from his grip.

“stop, stop. you’re going to hurt yourself,” he said.

“then just let me go,” she replied.

“come here,” he started guiding her to the red bull hospitality.

“max,”

“i just want to talk. please,”

“are you sure i’m not just a distraction? you should probably be getting ready for the race, i wouldn’t want to be the reason you lose the championship.” it hurt to say those words, her heart broke at the sight of visible pain on his face.

“i- i didn’t mean that. just, please, come with me.” he pleaded.

“you have ten minutes,” she said. he dropped his hand down to grab hers, lacing his fingers with hers so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd of people in the paddock. thankfully, the hospitality was nearly empty, everyone was in too much of a frenzy out in the garage to really pay attention to what was going on back there. once they were in the privacy of his driver’s room, max immediately wrapped his arms around her entire frame, holding her close to his chest. her arms stayed by her sides, even though her hands were practically aching to hug him.

“i’m so sorry for what i said last week. i didn’t mean any of that. you were right, it wasn’t me.” he said. “i was… i let my dad, and horner, and marko get in my head. but it’s not true. you’re not a distraction, since that weekend in monaco you’re one of the reasons i do this. the best part of every race, no matter where i end up, is stepping out of the car and seeing you waiting for me. your presence, your… friendship,” he took a deep breath as he said that word, “means more to me than any championship, any trophy. in truth, the biggest accomplishment of my year is having you by my side.” he spoke fast, it didn’t sound rehearsed, he voiced every thought that came to his head. “last week in jeddah, and this whole week, i’ve not been myself. i can’t be myself without you.”

“this week has been hell,” she said.

“i am so sorry for putting you through that, i promise i-” she placed a hand on his chest, he paused.

“seeing you, without focus, your mind somewhere else, trying to prove to everyone that you’re worthy when you’ve already done that hundreds of times before, that was hell. max, you’re human, you’re allowed to have emotions, to have good days or bad days, you’re not a machine. you’re not programmed to win, no matter how many races you take part in, how many trophies you have. that’s the thing about life, every day is a new chance to do what you want to, your life will not end if you don’t win a race, or a championship. you have more chances.”

“i know.” he whispered. “but this is what i’ve been working for my entire life.”

“but is your life going to end if you don’t win? no. if you keep acting like you did last week, if you let toxic people manipulate you, turn you into something you’re not, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll push everyone away.” she could feel his hands tightening their grip on her waist at the thought of her leaving again. “i’m here to stay.”

“you’re all i need.” he pressed his forehead against hers, her eyes flew down to his lips. he noticed. he leaned closer, his nose brushing against hers.

“max,” she said, “we’re friends. best friends,”

“of course,” he leaned back a little. “the best friend i could ask for,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“i love you,” she said. “as a friend,” her voice was shaky.

“of course. i love you as a friend, too,”

“good. now, we have a championship to win,” she patted his chest twice, making him smile.

“what happened to the speech you just-”

“the fact that you have many other chances doesn’t mean you won’t fight your hardest to win this one,” she reminded him.

“come down with me? the garage feels empty without you.” he told her. she nodded.

“of course, i missed the thrill and the noise, watching on tv is just not the same,”

“i’m sorry,” he said, she shook her head.

“don’t apologize. i’m here now, we’re here now. let’s go, they must be looking for you. i’m sure horner will kill me once he sees us walking in.”

“i’ll fight him,” max said, walking to a desk, he opened a drawer and pulled out a cap. her cap, he always made sure it was the same one. the one with his name written inside with a sharpie. he took off the cap she was wearing, placing it on the desk before putting her cap on. “there,”

“much better,” she smiled.

december 13th, 2021.

she was wearing a black shirt with a design in white and gold, stating that max was the world champion. she was tossing and turning on her hotel bed, still buzzing with adrenaline from the previous celebrations. she hadn’t drunk that much in a long time, but it was the perfect occasion to party as much as she wanted to.

max was finally a world champion.

she smiled everytime she thought about it, she got teary eyed when she replayed the moment he stepped out of the car and ran straight to her hugging the life out of her as he thanked her for everything she’d done for him.

she loved him. perhaps, she loved him from the moment he ran into him that weekend in monaco. but she couldn’t risk it. one week without him had been hell, if her feelings were one sided and things ended badly, she didn’t know if she could survive without him in her life.

she groaned, kicking the covers off with her legs. she sat up, grabbing her phone and scrolling through the pictures and videos she’d taken that night. max and her pouring each other shots, seeing who could drink them faster. her licking the salt from his neck, taking the lime from his lips. him doing the same, the feeling of her tongue against her throat was one she would never forget. her stomach turned, knowing that it was only because they were drunk.

being in love with your best friend sucks.

‘i love you like a best friend’ she thought back to her own words. coward.

she heard a knock on her door, it startled her at first, she checked the time. 4:38am. the person knocked again, she got out of bed and walked to the door, seeing a familiar head of dirty blonde hair on the other side.

“max, what’s-”

“i love you,” he blurted out. “i love you, and… not like a best friend. i don’t want you like a best friend, i want more,”

her breath got stuck in her throat, she couldn’t speak.

“i’ve had this feeling in my hands, since i let go of your hands when i was putting on my gloves, they haven’t stopped shaking, it’s like i can’t control them and…”

he lifted his hands, and she could see what he meant, slowly, she placed her hands in his. lacing her fingers with his, and the shaking stopped.

they didn’t speak anymore, they let their actions speak for them. she took a step closer, he leaned his head down. she stood on her tipoes, he closed his eyes. her eyes shut on their own accord, he parted his lips. they kissed, and it was like the piece that had been missing was finally found. two halves made a whole, two hearts became one, a friendship turned into something more.

may 2nd, 2022.

she walked the red carpet with max by her side. to everyone else, they were still just friends, although on evey interview they were asked the same question, they both always answered the same.

‘she/he’s my best friend.’

which, technically, wasn’t a lie.

she was extremely nervous that day, people were asking her what she was doing there, since her part was a complete secret.

she was doing an interview with two of her co-stars, xochitl and benedict wong, she had to pretend it was her first time meeting them, since they didn’t appear on her show. max was standing by the side, watching her.

“i don’t know, they invited me and we were already here for the grand prix so we came,” she said. max noticed how she only lifted one corner of her lips to smile, a sign that she was nervous, she was about to slip.

“so, do you know what the future of your character is? we were left in a cliffhanger after the end of the show, are there any plans for future projects?”

“umm, i- i’m not sure, i-” she didn’t know what else to say, she looked to her castmates, silently begging for help, but they were unaware of her inside struggles. she hadn’t had that much preparation on this type of interviews, and she didn’t want to screw this up.

“can i just say something?” max said, popping his head and walking into frame before anyone could complain, “i personally don’t know what the future of her character is, but i just think that she’s an amazing actress who did an incredible job on that show, and both she and the character deserve to be part of this cinematic world. plus, look at her, she could act as a rock and it would still be oscar-worthy,” he finished. and she let out a shaky breath as he felt his hand on her back.

“aw, you two are just the sweetest. are you sure there’s no sparks flying around between you? you just seem like you’re meant to be,” the interviewer said.

“the only sparks are the ones from my race car when i go over the curbs,” they both laughed, catching the interviewer a bit off guard.

once they were inside, she started breathing quickly.

“fuck, i think i screwed up. someone’s definitely going to notice,” she said, her fingers playing with the fabric of her dress. “fuck, i’m so fired, they’re never going to call me back, and-”

“hey, hey, stop. don’t say that,” max said, grabbing her hand. “no one will notice, and they won’t care. in my opinion, you should’ve just told the truth, show off your incredible work here, show them how much you deserve to be here,”

her chest was still rising up and down uncontrollably, and max wanted to kiss her lips, show her how much he loved her, that everything would be okay. but, they were still in public. so, he settled for a kiss on the cheek and a few words in her ear.

“i love you,” he whispered, “with all my being, in this life, all my past ones and those still to come. i love you, and i’m so proud of you,” he said before leaning back. “you will be fine, okay?”

“okay,” she repeated, he was holding her hand, with his thumb on top of the vein, he could feel her heartbeat slowing down to normal.

may 8th, 2022.

her eyes switched from one screen to the other, max had an amazing start on the race, making up one place on the opening lap. he’d been nervous that morning, having had limited time to understand and learn this new track. but his desire to win was there. it wasn’t too long until he reached the race leader, making brave, precise decisions at the right moment to maximize his winning opportunities.

the safety car, as always, shook up the race a little, with the top four being closer than ever. but max was able to keep the lead, the issues he noticed in the car were quickly fixed with gp’s help, he knew to stay calm when necessary.

she had her cap on, even though the heat was unforgiving, she had to wear his cap. and she was tapping her nails against the desk area in front of her, under all the screens. she was incredibly proud of max, he had shown so much growth since the end of last season. of course, like everyone else, he still had some moments when the frustration often took the best of him, but he knew to take it easy, to let things go the way they’re supposed to.

long gone was her fear of walking alongside max’s mechanics and engineers, now she was just one of them. she was always given the spot closest to max. she was always the first person he hugged. she had the brightest smile on her face, this week had started good for her, and even though the weekend was tough for max, he managed to come out on top.

max stepped out of the car, her loud cheers mixed in with the rest of the crowd. she clapped for him, a huge smile on her face as he stepped toward her. but, he went to his crew first. they pampered him in congratulations, as max took off his helmet. he shook hands and bumped fists with all of them, taking his sweet time to make his way to her. she had a small frown on her face, maybe he hadn’t seen her and that’s why we went with the others first.

no, he noticed her. finally, he made his way to her, placing his helmet on the floor and wrapping his arms around her waist, making her stand on her tiptoes.

“max,”

“i love you,” he said, leaning his head down and pressing his lips on hers. the crowd erupted in even louder cheers, she was shocked at first, but it only took her a second to melt into his touch.

“good race, champ. a little warning would’ve been nice,” she told him as he hugged her again, burying his face against her neck. one of her hands went to his hair. she loved his post-race hair.

“come to the podium with me,” he said, she nodded. she would’ve agreed to anything at that moment.

as max was ushered to do post-race interviews, he tried his hardest to concentrate on the words leaving his lips, but he could only focus on her. she was glowing, shining brighter than the miami sun.

“yeah, my girlfriend and i have this inside joke, we pass each other the quicksilver powers, and she had them earlier this week, and now she gave them to me. i guess you could say that helped me win today,” max chuckled, her cheeks were hotter than the sun. as soon as he finished, he walked back to her, the red bull crew helped her get through the barrier. the red bull media team were already waiting for them in a car that would take them to the podium on the other side of the track, since there was no space left, max sat first, patting his lap.

“your carriage awaits, quicksilver,” he joked, she rolled her eyes as she sat on his lap, feeling his hand on her thigh. he pressed a kiss to her cheek, she turned her head, her lips touching his again.

“i think we broke the internet this week,” she laughed.

“what a great end to a great week,” max kissed her again. she sighed against his lips, she would never get tired of his kiss.

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