#it has been pointed out to me that the clients are pretty gay already

[idleyuki]

putting my art education to good use

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

i think one of the biggest threats between people pairing solaris and the fabricator has to be the way that they conduct themselves- as far as we're aware from an external perspective. canonically, though the two of them work together frequently- resulting in horrifically lethal machines- they're about as different as they can be.

if you ask me, though, i don't think it's an issue at all. if anything, i think someone like solaris is exactly what the fabricator needs.

for never really getting a moment to herself in the spotlight, we know a surprising amount about the fabricator, and we can safely infer a whole lot more.

from the power that zor lends to her, she seems to be a very critical component of zoraxis. it's a sentiment the agency also parrots, regarding her as zor's runner up in regards to her own lethality. it does, however, come at the consequence of losing the majority of her free time. she's a diligent engineer to a fault, to the point where she'll sacrifice her own time and sleep in order to complete projects she's been assigned to. as highly as she regards herself, she puts zor before her- which, considering her conduct, seems to be quite a big deal for someone like herself.

and even beyond her work with zoraxis, we have to consider what she does with the rest of her 'spare time'. she's the head of a front facing fashion business that seems publicly unaffiliated with the megacorp, meaning even post 3, she still has just as much work on her hands as she did before zoraxis' exposure. people are still buying her products, and she's still rolling out new ones. as a renowned designer- someone who assuredly has the majority of her free time eaten up by the formalities and outings mandatory of socialites.

you can make a pretty solid argument that- as self important as she appears on the surface- she is running herself into the ground for everyone other than herself. her needs canonically come after zor's, and considering what little time she must have to spare after working on their projects, it seems her needs come after her clients' as well.

and then there's solaris. relatively new to zoraxis, so it seems, and without the same dedication to the company that her coworkers seem to share. she's dedicated to her work first, herself seemingly second, and the company third. it's the perfect blend of being a diligent worker and a horribly insubordinate employee.

do i think fabby would hate her conduct at first? oh, absolutely. being forced to work alongside someone who couldn't care less about the boss she so diligently devotes herself to? someone so unlike herself? so blunt and unrefined?

… i do think, though, after long enough, solaris is the perfect individual to turn into an unwitting lifeline.

solaris is the fabricator's only window into a world beyond the little pen she's caged herself in. a world where zor's every wish isn't her command. a world where her every decision and action isn't scrutinized- by her boss, by her clients, by the media, by whoever else she dares to keep close to her. a world where she doesn't need to perform for those around her to tolerate her.

solaris is far from polite society. and yes, that means she's inelegant and hard to parse. but that also means she doesn't bother to judge the fabricator on any of the standards she's been forcing herself to uphold.

solaris is a blank slate. a brief respite. an intellectual equal who doesn't layer expectations on her already broken back.

i do think it's something fabby wouldn't know to truly appreciate until she leaves zoraxis. until she realizes how suffocating life is when she's back to performing for everyone she knows. when she doesn't have anyone to affirm the invisible thought that zor's working her too hard… you don't notice what you have until its gone. john's gay ass isn't the only one masking is all i'm saying

[elderflowergin]

2022 kdrama/movie roundup!

It was a tough year for keeping up with anything because life, toddler, etc, but here are the things I watched, in part or whole, that I remembered. Hot Takes Incoming!

Sell Your Haunted House - Jang Nara in boots. Kang Mal-geum in dark lipstick. Touching, gay, many mother issues. The girls were fantastic. The boys weren't bad.

25 21 - I was dropped back into the 90s. Surprisingly, I didn't hate it. The girls were fantastic. Na Hee-do was correct to dump Baek Yi-jin. Moon Ji-woong, perfect boy. Ji Seung-wan for PRESIDENT!

Why Her? - Someone thought it'd be a great idea to throw Seo Hyun-jin's ex-client (shudder) current-student (TRIPLE SHUDDER) Hwang In-yeop into the romance mix when billionaire CHOI YOUNG-JOON and Crown Prince Bae In-hyuk were already there. And they thought it'd be funny if Hwang In-yeop won. NO.

Eve - The superior commentary this year on the horrors of capitalism. It ends with reparations (Park Byung-eun hands over his entire empire to Seo Yeji, who promptly divests it), rich people dying in horrible ways and Seo Yeji doing the tango. Were the makjang knobs dialled up so high they're broken? Yes. Was it fun? YES, because I got to see Park Byung-eun's range, which includes Pained Hottie, and Seo Yeji running men's feet over in cars wearing couture. We can ask for no more.

Juvenile Justice - No one asked "What happens if we take three of the most charismatic working actors in Korean entertainment today and squeezed the life out of them?" But someone answered anyway.

My Liberation Notes - Lee El, a revelation. Mr Gu, a revelation when he started talking, and not the good kind.

Grid - Kim Mu-yeol. Kim Ah-joong and Jang So-yeon had a great year. I didn't understand the time thing at all. This is a me problem, but probably the only time I'll face it this year. Right? RIGHT?

Bloody Heart - Jang Hyuk has done nothing wrong, ever. The girls were fantastic. Lee Joon, I heard your script was meant for Lee Joon-hyuk. Sorry.

Pachinko - The girls were fantastic. Kim Min-ha, baby, you're gorgeous. JUNG EUN-CHAE was everything. Sorry to Lee Min-ho, who had the tough double role of acting as Ko Hansu and also like he belonged to this cast of greats.

Our Blues - Great acting, but my own blues were sufficient for me. The girls were fantastic. Unwanted to wanted pregnancy storyline: no thanks. This is a me problem, but probably the only time I'll face it this year. Right? RIGHT?

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - 75% love; 25% NOT THIS AGAIN.

Little Women - The girls were fantastic. I ran out of air by this point in the year. I'll come back for you, gothic interior design, poison orchids, and Song Joong-ki in the best role he's played all year!

Through the Darkness - Almost too many twirling moustache psychos and dead girls. I did it for Kim Nam-gil because he's so pretty in this and in case it wasn't abundantly clear by now, I don't think with my brain. The lone living girl - Kim So-jin - was fantastic. Jin Seon-kyu, well-adjusted stealth hottie!

Reborn Rich - Samsung owes Lee Sung-min its entire semiconductor business as @rain-hat said. Lee Sung-min owes me reparations for making me watch this show for him primarily (secondarily Park Hyuk-kwon, Kim Shin-rok, Park Ji-hyun and Kim Nam-hee for their acting; Kim Young-jae because he is THE DILF). I'm manifesting NO TIMESLIPS in 2023 dramas.

Under the Queen's Umbrella - Kim Hye-soo pushing up her hanbok sleeves to carry babies and do embroidery should be projected onto my tombstone unto eternity. The girls were fantastic. And I know this is unusual, so bear with me, but: the boys? FANTASTIC ALSO.

Movies:

Vikram - Fahaadh Faasil, my thoughts are nasty and you don't want to hear them. The girls might have been fantastic had they been permitted to live and not be dumdums. That was never going to happen, of course. There was torture and a baby in significant peril, but it was also the most fun I'd had in a while. I should get my head checked.

Ponniyin Selvan - The sheer scale of work and sweat that has gone into the enterprise of making Vikram seem taller than Trisha Krishnan for the last twenty years! Iconic. The girls were fantastic.

The Naked Kitchen - This is sold as a story of a woman choosing between two men. That is a lie. It's about a man coming to terms with his marriage drifting into polyamory, and enjoying it. Shin Min-ah and Ju Ji-hoon fuck in a museum, which was also weirdly sweet.

Asura City of Madness - AHJUSSHIS WHY. Hwang Jung-min's shirttails worked very hard in 2012. Jung Woo-sung ate glass and has pathological issues about being as handsome as he is. We love him for it. We did not love this.

Hunt - Love is your bestie learning how to write and direct just to write and direct you in the role of a lifetime for you, personally. I don't know if that's what happened here, but that's what love is. And chemistry is whatever these two guys have in this completely ordinary movie that did not give any feelings. Hwang Jung-min, pussy OUT.

Decision to Leave - A well-deserved love letter to Tang Wei, just beautifully shot, gorgeous.

Il Mare - Absolutely lovely little film, reliant almost entirely on the star power of two actors who are so charismatic they don't need to meet in the movie to convince you of their romance.

Laal Singh Chaddha - There was a very beautiful wedding at the end. Aamir Khan's face must hurt.

Darlings - A movie that appreciated and respected noted hottie Shefali Shah.

[only-1-a]

Insomnia is a bitch, and my brain has been rotating this in the microwave for 2 hours now.

So picture the boys are out hunting clues for whatever mystery and Charles gets distracted by news on the store television announcing that same sex marriage has been legalised. Charles is just like, "Well how about that? Hey Edwin, gay marriage is legal now." but Edwin is slightly farther ahead and not paying the most attention when he just calls back to Charles to come along.

Later on, Edwin comes up to Charles and tells him, "I was thinking about what you said earlier. You made a rather good point, and so I'd like for you to have this." And it's a goddamned ring. Charles is all shocked cuz he hadn't thought they were like that, but then Edwin is giving him a ring after Charles told him it was legal for two blokes to get married. And maybe he thinks, they are like that. He hadn't considered it before beyond the easy platonic love he feels but he can absolutely reevaluate and wow its so obvious when it's laid out so plainly.

And of course the finger it fits is his ring finger.

Later down the line, maybe someone is trying to offer them things as payment, and Charles sees a ring in the pile. It's a bit ostentatious, but Charles has been fretting for a while about getting Edwin his own ring. They were already assured nothing in the pile is cursed, so Charles just tells Edwin to take his gloves off. Edwin's a little confused but does as he's asked, and Charles turns to him with this serious look, as he takes Edwin's hand and puts the ring on. He is so delighted when it fits, and turns to the client saying, "Cheers! This is what I want for my half." Edwin is still a little taken aback to which Charles says he's been meaning to get Edwin his own ring for a while since Edwin got him his ring. And it just makes perfect sense so Edwin just takes it at face value, and says" You don't even know what it does." (insert something helpful that Charles can be smug about here)

Now obviously they're married now, so the affection on Charles' part ramps up. Edwin was already accustomed to the touches and hugs, but suddenly Charles has started kissing him. Mostly just friendly cheek and head kisses, but sometimes on the mouth as well. Always just quick pecks, but Edwin always looks distinctly uncomfortable. So pretty early on, Charles checks in like, "Heeeeey, you don't seem too keen when I kiss you? Do you...want me to stop?" and Edwin knows the social mores of his time are much looser now, and Charles is naturally affectionate, and he doesn't HATE IT. So in an attempt to meet Charles in the middle tells him "It's fine. I just wish you would give me some warning is all."

And it's as easy as that. Whenever Charles wants to kiss Edwin, he just has to say something along the lines of "Can I kiss you now? / I'm going to kiss you now / You're so smart I could kiss you."

(For anyone wondering about sex this is being written by an asexual. But also Charles took one look at the response to kissing and probably assumed that was one step too far for Edwin, and that's fine. It's not like Charles has any experience there anyway, and he can't miss something he never had and he'd rather Edwin be happy and comfortable than anything else)

Cutting forward to hell, Edwin confesses on the stairs, and Charles life crumbles a little in that moment. Edwin JUST realised he was in love with Charles? It doesn't matter if Charles doesn't feel the same?? But they don't have time, so all Charles can do is hold Edwin, and tell him they have a lot to discuss when they get out of here, but most important for Edwin to know is that he is the only one Charles would come to hell for, and that Edwin is the most important person in his life.

They get out, and later on when things are calm, Charles takes his ring off for the first time since Edwin gave it to him 10 years ago, and he really considers it, and what it could possibly mean. He turns to Edwin across the room and asks, "When you gave this to me, you said you 'thought about what I said earlier and wanted me to have this'. What did you mean?"

Edwin gives him a confused look but answers, "You had mentioned how annoying it was that we had no way of finding each other if we got separated. Least of all if we couldn't shout for each other. So I put a small tracking spell in it so that I could always find you."

And damn if that isn't slightly romantic to hear. But damn if that means he's been an idiot this whole time. They're trying to be more honest though, so Charles has to tell him. "I thought you were referring to the same-sex marriage news. I thought you were asking me to marry you. I thought I was married to you this whole time, but it turns out that I'm just an idiot."

Edwin is somewhere between trying to find the words to reassure Charles he's not an idiot, and bluescreening cuz Charles just said they've been married for a decade??? But Charles carries on in the meantime. "And now you say you're in love with me, and that's great, but it means you haven't been in love with me until now? And you don't think I love you back, but I'm the only one who realised we were married, but I guess not, and everything is tangled up, and I don't know how to feel about ANY of this. And on top of all that, the stupid doll-spider probably ate your ring along with your other clothes in hell."

Edwin is having a lot of feelings at this moment too, but his mind focuses on how Charles is still fiddling with his own ring which he took off. So he kneels down beside Charles, takes the ring and tells him, "You know, the enchantment for this particular ring is very simple." When he teaches Charles the spell, Charles feels a small tug from his sternum towards the ring in Edwin's hand. "Even before recent circumstances I had thought it was ridiculous that you had the ring when more often than not it's you who needs to find me. This way you would be able to find me no matter where I am, or how far away. And it may be selfish of me, but if you used this ring to ask me to marry you, I would say yes."

Charles doesn't even have the words. He can only stare at Edwin in shock, then down at the ring and back to Edwin. He puts the ring on Edwin's finger and it doesn't fit perfectly, but it's fine, and he can't help but ask what he's been asking for 10 years now. "Can I kiss you?"

And Edwin smiles because he finally understands when he says, "Yes."

I'm new here, and I know it doesn't fit canon, but I'm suddenly intrigued by the idea of "Didn't know they were married" payneland. I'm picturing the year 2014 when same sex marriage was legalised in the UK, something happens and the boys get married.

Only Charles is the only one who thought they were getting married that day. Edwin isn't really sure what happened but it was probably part of a job and really he's working hard on that Edwardian repression. So they carry on with very different ideas of what their relationship is from then on.

Idk how this would play out come show time, but I laugh at the idea that Charles would REALLY LIKE PEOPLE TO STOP HITTING ON HIS HUSBAND. Bonus points for the stairs confession scene and Charles just like "What do you mean you JUST realised you're in love with me? We've been married for a decade!"

[xxlost-cityxx]

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

Ship/Characters: Top!Kirishima Eijirou, Bottom!Bakugou Katsuki

TW/CW: camming(Bakugou's a camboy), rough anal sex, anal fingering, choking, spanking, begging, crying, overstimulation, praising, degrading, enthusiastic consent

Summary: Bakugou's famous for being in the top 3 best doms for a camboy porn site, but as he tries to out rank an up and rising couple, his fans get to see the moment he realises he's a submissive bottom

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katsuk has been a camboy for a little over 2 years now, starting right off the bat once he graduated high school. As he was 18 and living on his own and with a low paying job, he quickly realized he needed another source of income to live even slightly comfortably in today's world. Then came a random ad that just so happened to catch his eye, a porn site catching a lot of popularity, a few cam stars seeming to live a life of luxury from simply filming themselves for anyone to see. 

Katsuki had to try it out. 

He's had his fair share of horny old men groping him out in public, so why not get paid for them to watch him instead? 

That plan was one of his best ideas yet. He rose to fame so quickly he choked on water after posting his 4th video ever, seeing that his rough, aggressive attitude turned a lot of people on. A lot meant 14,000 at the time. A month into camming and he was making over 54,000 yen a week! And now, with nearly 500,000 perverts at his mercy, it was much more. He started live streaming last year, and it went amazing. Until a new couple joined the camming business. Suddenly 'loving boyfriend rails his curvy brown haired slut' was all anyone wanted to see. This broccoli headed bitch stole half the damn site from almost every other cammer out there! 

So there was only one thing Katsuki could do now. 

He had to fuck someone on one of his streams. 

He blew up the first time he fucked a flesh light, degrading the inanimate object like no tomorrow, easily being labeled one of the best doms out there. So the only way to get back on top was to dom a real person. 

But he wasn't going to fuck one of his weird ass fans, god no. He needed to find someone close to him who would keep their mouth shut. 

After brainstorming and browsing the most popular porn categories, he got an idea. The best way to narrow down his options for what type of person he'd need is by his audience. He quickly went to his profile insights, his eyes narrowing as over 60% were females. He quickly smirked, easily going back to the most popular categories and filtering out what he didn't want to do and what his audience wouldn't be into. And the one that came out ontop, was gay shit. Katsuki was going to dom a guy. And if it meant coming out on top over all the useless cammers, he'd fuck the shit out of a twink. 

"Sorry man, I would've considered it back when we first graduated, but Hitoshi and Kyo would rather stab you than let me take your dick up my ass." Denki said, casually sighing and taking a sip of his coffee. The elders around the coffee shop gasped, giving nasty side eyes which Katsuki couldn't care less about. "What!?" He nearly shouted, Sero and Mina covering their mouths to prevent any laughter from coming out to the point their faces were turning red. 

"Why not ask Sero-" "-Oh hell no! I'm not letting Katsudon fuck me on camera!" Sero shouted, ignoring Bakugou's glare from calling him Katsudon. 

"You really need to fuck a guy for this? Why not stick to your usual content? No.2 is better than much else, right?" "Hell no! I'm the best and I'm going to prove I'm the fuckin' best! Denki's the only twink I know, so help me find another!" Katsuki yelled, a few families being rushed out of the shop. 

After going through everyone that fit Bakugou's qualifications. They had nothing. Bakugou was ready to tear someone's head off at this point. After doing so much research, he didn't have the final piece. 

"Hey Mina, you're a chick. What do you suggest 'suki do?" Denki sighed, folding in on himself. "I mean, we do love our gay shit man." He said in an inhale. "But why not get fucked instead? We know way more doms than we do twinks." She said, tilting her head. "Oh- Hell no!" Bakugou shouted, Sero wincing. "I'm the best fuckin' dom on this shitting porno site and I'm going to prove it!" "Sounds like a bratty bottom to me." Sero mumbled. 

After more shouting and arguing. Kirishima finally arrived. "Sorry, my last client had a lot of knots in their back and thighs! Took a lot longer than I expected." He said with his happy smile, still wearing his scrubs and smelling like coconut oil. "Eiji~! Gimme a deep tissue massage!" Denki whined, rushing over and jumping face first into the bed. "He just gave massages all day dude, give him a break.." Sero mumbled, shaking his head. 

And it was like a light bulb. His brain flashing to massage porn intro's being in the top 100 categories. "Kirishim!" Bakugou shouted firmly, standing up straight. Kiri froze, slowly turning to look at him with fearful eyes. "Y-Yes…?" "Let me fuck you for my cam stream." And it went dead silent. 

And that's how they're here. Setting up the ring lights, almond oil on the shelves and a small white towel for Bakugou to cover his ass with. The plan was that Eijirou would get handsy during the massage and Katsuki would turn around and start domming him. Kirishima is bigger than Bakugou in the height and muscle department, but that was only going to make the plot better. Eijrou definitely wasn't telling him something. After hesitating to agree in the first place, and only after Bakugou promised a share of the money, Kirishima was just so...unnatural at this situation, his movements starting off as more dominating until he took it down to a submissive level.   

Katsuki started the live, giving his quickly joining fans a cocky smirk before standing up, walking back and laying down on the black table. 

The comments were filled with surprise and questions as to who the red haired hulk was beside the table, but they went unanswered. 

Kirishima grabbed the bottle of almond oil, pouring some into his hands and quickly starting on Katsuki's thighs, gently rubbing into the muscles with experienced ease. 

Bakugou's eyes widened at the feeling, his core already getting hot with desire. And as Kirishima's fingers went under the towel to his inner thighs, he fought a gasp. Comments filled with perverted comments telling the redhead to get more handsy and to give the blond a hand job with all the oil. 

But as Eijirou put a knee on the table and nearly climbed over Katsuki to perfectly get his back, Katsuki started panting at the feeling. It wasn't the massage that was getting him. It was the feeling of Eijirou's crotch rubbing against the thin towel, his cock slightly hard underneath his black scrubs. 

As it was about time for the script to move onto Katsuki domming Kirishima, Bakugou was stifling whimpers of shock and embarrassment. His cock aching for him to fuck Kirishima…..actually. His body was aching to be fucked by Kirishima. 

As Katsuki was turned around, His eyes were teary, his fans taking quick, shocked notice and flooding the comments with surprise, degrading, perverted insults about how he looked like a twink instead. 

Kirishima's eyes slightly widened at the sight, and as Bakugou swallowed his embarrassment and shock, he focused on his arousal and his own perverse desires. "F-Fuck me….instead.." He whispered, his eyes slightly squinting and blurring with tears. 

Before he knew it, Eijirou was leaning over top of him with a slick hand around his neck. Bakugou couldn't help but moan at the pressure, his stream struggling to keep up with the influx of viewers and comments about the top 3 best doms getting put in his place by a rando. 

Bakugou's mind wasn't on the donations anymore, not on the follower count or his ranking at this point. He was gasping for air as Kirishima roughly kissed and bit at his body, keeping an iron grip on Katsuki's neck. "Oh fuck yes- Was hoping to god I would be able to fuck your tight ass one day-!" Kirishima breathed against his skin, licking up his nipple to his jaw and nipping at him. 

He suddenly ripped himself off the blonde, walking over to the camera and grabbing it, making a winky face at the viewers as he moved the camera to get a better view of Bakugou teary eyed, flushed and a line of red, darkening hickies and bites. 

He got back on the table, roughly gripping Katsuki's thighs and harshly pushing them apart, an action that would probably make some other guy pull a muscle. He wrapped his arms around his spread thighs, pulling his hips up to meet his crotch, the pale skin against his dark black scrubs finally letting Bakugou and the viewers know what the newbie was packing, and it was a lot. 

"H-Holy fuck-" Bakugou whispered out as his towel was ripped off of him, oil being grabbed off the table and the cap popped open. Kirishima paused, looking up to Bakugou, a silent plea for last minute permission. Katsuki's red eyes met crimson, and he swiftly nodded his head, accidentally earning more donations from the show of submission. 

Eijirou lathered his fingers in oil, tracing the blond's pink hole carefully, giving the camera another adjustment so the viewers could see his perfect view as well; a red faced, teary eyed dom with his tight ass being slicked up so nicely. 

The oil made Katsuki's muscle relax easily, becoming soft under the thick tanned finger, and as he swiftly plunged in the singular finger, Katsuki gasped with shock, his eyes going wide at the foregin feeling. 

Kirishima slowly pumped his finger, adding slightly more oil every time his muscle got a bit too tight, slipping in more fingers every time his rim was soft. It felt like such a short amount of time between preparing to dom his best friend to being finger fucked by him. Eijirou's forearm had veins slightly protruding as he slammed his fingers into his friend at a pace that made vibrators look pathetic. Katsuki's pretty little back was arched so nicely, his muscles flexing and his toes curling, tears falling from his eyes as moan after moan was ripped from him. 

"P-Please! I can't! I can't take it anymore!" He finally sobbed, shaking his head at the man's brutal pace, purposely avoiding his prostate after hitting it every couple times. 

Kirishima smirked, slowly sliding his fingers out only to slide his thumbs inside, stretching the soft muscle as he pleased, showing off the blond's perfectly hot pink insides, his swollen rim slick and twitching. "So nice and pretty for me, hm? You wanna take my fat cock for the first time? Expose how much of a slut you are for cock? For my cock?" Kirishima said seductively, moving the camera again. 

Katsuki nodded his head rapidly, his eyes glued to the hard to see bulge under his black scrubs. "Use your words, baby." Eijirou said firmly, palming himself. "Y-Yes- I want it-! I w-want your fat cock-!" He said, face flushing with embarrassment again. "Good boy~" He cooed, finally grabbing the hem of his pants and pulling them down. 

It was almost like he struggled to pull the front down far enough, his cock just kept following, and once it finally got over his tip, his penis sprung up to lightly slap against his stomach before it weighed itself down. The camera got Bakugou's surprise and shock perfectly, the comments finally going quiet, almost as if everyone had to take in what they were seeing as well. 

Kirishima grabbed the base of his cock, lifting it and letting it slap against Bakugou's hole, earning a slightly muffled whimper from the blond. He gently moved his hips, letting his cock slide smoothly against his hole, his tip teasing the smaller's balls. The comments were filled with encouragement and orders to get on with it. 

Kirishima chuckled darkly, letting his tip catch on the rim, slowly pushing in. Bakugou's eyebrows furrowed before his mouth dropped and eyes widened with the pressure. He let out a guttural moan, his legs starting to shake. 

As Eijirou bottomed out with a groan, Katsuki was shaking and whimpering, his own well endowed cock red and dripping precome. 

The redhead pulled out before slamming back in, the blond shooting up with shock only to be met with a hand on his neck again, pinning him down as the Kirishima harshly forced his way between Bakugou's legs even more, only giving the blond a couple seconds to adjust before he started snapping his hips into the smaller man's ass. Bakugou took in one breath of air before lewd moans poured from him, his voice cracking every time his skin was slapped with another brutal thrust. 

"Agh- P-Please-!" Katsuki nearly screamed out, Eijirou grabbing the back of his knees and pressing them back to meet his shoulders, effectively putting him in a mating press. "Please what, baby? Tell me what you fucking want!" Eijirou growled out, groaning as Katsuki's tight, slicked up boy cunt tried to milk him, pulsing and sucking him in with every movement. "I-I want it harder! Please- Please fuck me harder! Give me more!" Bakugou nearly sobbed, looking at where their bodies were connected with teary wide eyes. "Such a fuckin' slut-! Making all these people think you were a fucking dom, only to start begging for the first fat cock you see! Want it harder? Wanna feel my fat dick in you for days?" He growled, eagerly moving to grab Katsuki's ankles and awkwardly spreading them over Katsuki's head before turning him, ripping his cock out of his pillowy ass and nearly picking the blond up by his ass, grabbing the nape of his neck and forcing him on his knees with his head down. 

He slammed back in, the blond nearly screaming once again as he set another brutal pace. "Y-Yes! Please, god yes! Fuck me more! Don't stop!" Katsuki sobbed, drool and tears staining his lewd face. "Wouldn't fucking dream of it! You love having your little boy cunt fucked, huh? Love how I fucking ruin you on this dick?" Kirishima growled, slapping a hand down on his fat ass, groaning loudly at the sight of all the excess muscle and fat jiggle even more. 

Katsuki's ass slapped against Eijirou's abs every time he slammed into the boy, his back muscles looking so pretty at this angle. 

"Oh shit- I'm gonna cum! Please make me cum! Don't fucking stop~!" Bakugou moaned, arching his back and lifting his ass up higher so Eijirou could hit his prostate at the best angle. "Haven't even touched your cock and you're gonna cum? Fucking do it! Cum on this cock, make it yours and I'll fuck you every day!" Kirishima promised, sharpening his thrusts to where all Bakugou could do is claw at the padded table and scream, staring into the camera as his orgasm was building higher and higher. 

"I- Fuck! I'm fucking cummin'!" Bakugou screamed, his body shaking under Kirishima as his thrusts went unbroken, hurtling Katsuki into overstimulation. He started screaming for relief, but as Kirishima planted his hands into the curvature of Bakugou's spine, he started thrusting purely for his own relief. Groaning and growling above a sobbing Katsuki. "S-Stop! I can't! Slow down~ Please!" Katsuki begged, his cock trying to harden again. His body was on fire, every nerve fried with pleasure he'd never experienced, and Katsuki knew he was addicted. 

"Almost fuckin' there! Gonna cum in your ass- Claim you, make you mine!" Eijirou groaned out, his balls drawing up tight as his own climax ripped through him, filling up the man's stomach with his cum. 

He slowly pulled out, Katsuki in the same position even after Eijirou let go of him. He grabbed the camera, pointing it at Bakugou's gaping and cum filled hole, watching how he pulsed against nothing, forcing the cum to leak out of him despite his angle. 

Not only did Katsuki make absolute bank while taking monster cock like a slut, he took the No.1 spot by over a thousand followers and ratings. 

[amethystblack]

I've been backreading your asks and responses WAY more than is healthy. 😅 But one story I'm curious about is: What was your coming out + transitioning like? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to.)

I put this off for a while for no real reason, but I don't mind.

The first person I came out to was an-ex girlfriend. It led to us breaking up so I un-came out for a while. Then we were friends again and she moved in with me and started going out again but she was supportive now. She lent me some old clothes, helped me get new ones, and was there supporting me when I had the talk with my mom.

My mom has been very supportive by and large. She always told me she wouldn't mind if I were gay-- and, well, I am. Just not in the way she expected. Still, the initial conversation was not graceful on her part. She fought it from the angle of being very convinced that because of being trans, I would be targeted and beaten to death. She grieved, but then she educated herself and did her best.

I left my existing job after coming out to my boss. The workplace had "this is a safe space" type signs plastered all over it in the first place so I wasn't really concerned about her reaction-- but she basically said "yeah no surprise there". Still, we agreed I should leave the job because it would be difficult to keep the respect of our clients (at risk inner city youth-- lots of rowdy teenagers who had never met a trans person, etc. the decision was ultimately mine)

I started going to school full time in my last year of university. I couldn't legally change my name, but all of my professors were supportive. I was already in the gender studies course so that was probably part of why, but also I was lucky to be born in a liberal city.

When I presented male, I isolated myself from my peers. I didn't really have anything in common with boys, but I was afraid to reach out to other girls in case I made them uncomfortable. Then, after I realized I was trans (but before I came out), I felt like there was no point in trying to make friends under an identity that was going to go away. So for the first three years of uni, I basically just didn't talk to anyone. It made it easier when I did eventually present female. I didn't make any lasting friends still, but I at least had conversations and it felt much better.

Next was therapy to get clearance for HRT. I was able to find one who specialized in gender issues, but I was very prepared for a drawn out slugfest where I was waiting forever to 'prove' that I needed help. Because I was already full time, it didn't take that long. The main thing my therapist wanted me to be sure to do was come out to my other family members. Of those, I was mainly worried about my dad and my grandma.

I met my dad in town for my birthday and told him over lunch. He ended the conversation asking if I wanted anything for a present. I told him the only present I wanted was for him to accept me. That afternoon he went and bought me a 3DS instead. ...But after some time he eventually came around too.

My grandma was republican, conservative christian, would go on to vote for trump-- etc. I was quite sure she wouldn't be accepting, and I was ready to cut off my extended family entirely and never speak to them again. She was offended that I thought she would place her ideals above her concern for me as her grandchild. She didn't entirely get it-- but she ultimately was supportive of LGBT folks, and she was supportive of me. She had a hard time adjusting to using the right pronouns and name, so she and I ended up having a running joke where if she messed up my name, she would be like "Oh, just call me Harold." It was awkward to have to remind Harold (tm) in public sometimes, but not for lack of her trying.

Honestly I don't remember when I came out online, but people had thought I was a girl for years beforehand and I'd used the name Amethyst since I was 14 or so, so it was probably pretty unremarkable.

Changing legal documents was tedious but happened. Jobs were scary but I had passing privilege even before HRT. HRT was slow but being on it, feeling like I was getting better rather than worse, was all I really needed. Time and estrogen heal all wounds.

I've been a little choppy with this so it isn't too long-winded, and yet it's still half an essay. But I hope something in my experience can help you, anon <3

[illyaana]

Cursive Ink - Yamaguchi Tadashi

Collab: Pain Tolerance by @haikyutiehoe

Thanks for making this collab, hun! the idea of pierced and/or tatted anime characters got me squealing~! Do check out the other works involved in the collab in the link up there~

Tags: Yamaguchi's POV, Angst, Fluff, Yamaguchi x Tattoo Artist! Reader, Binaural

Synopsis: Love never really goes the way we plan it to be - and Yamaguchi was no exception. His failed confession to his former best friend left him heartbroken. However, his decision to go to a tattoo parlour may have been the best (and craziest) choice he's ever made in his life. (I also believe Yamaguchi is pansexual, so don't get so confused XD)

Word Count: 2552

A bit of context: In Japanese, 'Yama' means mountain, 'Tsuki' means the Moon

⋯⋯ ⫍ Masterlist ◍ Navigation ⫎ ⋯⋯

Want to get a personalized drabble about your love life with an anime character you like? Check out my 50 followers event's post here! You can choose any character from BNHA, Haikyu!!, AOT, JJK and Kuroko no Basketball <3

“Yamaguchi, no,” Tsukishima said, pulling his hand away from my hand.

“Why are you lying to yourself? I know you feel the same way, Tsuki - don’t lie to yourself.”

“I don’t, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, eyes turning cold, “I am not gay - I am a straight, heterosexual male. I love women and women only.”

Lies.

You are lying to me.

You are in love with me.

You are already mine, Tsuki - just wake up and see it.

I know you can.

what was that kiss under the tree when we were kids?” I whispered, not wanting my voice to break, “If you never loved me, why kiss me, Tsuki?”

“We both agreed that it was a mistake, didn’t we?” The blonde male said, anger rising, “We both agreed - not just me.”

I said yes - I know I did.

That doesn’t mean I meant it.

You know me, Tsuki - I’ll agree to everything you’ll say.

Why aren’t you realising it?

I’ve waited for so many years for you to ask me out, but you never did.

I’m here, right in front of you, asking you to be mine - just say yes.

I don’t want to wait anymore - it’s too painful.

“I lied, okay?!” I scream, “I loved you ever since we were kids, Tsuki. I want to be the one you come back to when you leave, the only one you kiss, the only one you hug, the only one you dream about - I want to be that to you. Is that so hard to believe?!”

I hugged myself, not wanting to break down anymore.

That small hug was the only thing stopping me from letting all hell break loose.

I had kept this in ever since I knew Tsuki - ever since he saw him in that park.

I knew everything about the tall male. The way he smiles, the way he hides his anger when he wants to be respectful, his secret love for dinosaurs, his soft side, his small quirks - I knew it all like the back of his hand.

I knew what he needed to be the middle blocker’s lover, and I was willing to sacrifice myself to be the best thing for Tsuki.

One thing was clear in my head; Tsuki felt the exact same way.

“Yamaguchi, I’m sorry. I don’t love you the way you want me to,” Tsukishima said, kneeling beside the green-haired male.

“I don’t believe that.”

I forced his lips on Tsukishima’s.

I closed my eyes, trying to memorise how the lines of his soft and pale lips felt on his - how it softly caressed my lips without even responding to the intimate kiss I was trying to initiate.

I felt Tsukishima trying to push me away, but I didn’t let go of the male’s collar.

He already took my first kiss - what is the difference if I took another?

The second our lips left each other’s, Tsukishima punched my nose.

Blood dripped from my nose, but I couldn’t care less.

“Don’t you fucking call me Tsuki ever again, dumbass. Better yet, don’t call me.”

My last day of high school ended with blood and tears, but the pain in my heart from losing my best friend hurt more.

⁜

⁜

⁜

I stared at the stars, lying down in the little treehouse we made as kids in my backyard.

I tried to cry it all out, but I couldn’t.

I feel cheated by you, Tsukishima Kei.

You made me make you my everything.

My voice was tuned to calm you down.

My hands we moulded to keep you warm.

My life was made to keep you safe, but you don’t need me to be you.

But I do - I need you to be me.

One-sided crushes are the worst form of love, aren’t they?

You give it all for that one person - to please and cherish them.

They just think it’s just a form of showing how strong your friendship is, but you want more.

You are the only one who wants more.

You are the one crying at night about how you wished they were by your side.

You are the one craving for their touch.

You want them, but they don’t want you.

I don’t care about you bruising my face, Tsukishima-san.

I care about you fucking me up like this.

I will no longer wait for your messages.

I will no longer look at your tweets and be the only one giving reactions.

I will erase you from my narrative, Tsukishima-san.

You can wonder about how much you’ve hurt me when I have reached somewhere you can’t even touch me.

⁜

⁜

⁜

“You are absolutely sure about this, right?” Hinata said, worry laced in his words.

I open the doors to the tattoo parlour and I was instantly mesmerized. The walls were filled with such intricate designs - sizes ranging from as small as a finger to as big as my whole body. The smell of fresh ink slowly hit me, reminding me of my schooling years.

“I am sure, Hinata. I was planning to do this ever since I was small, either way. I just wished it was under better circumstances,” I reply, eyes locked on all the flower motifs.

I always wanted a tattoo - it didn’t matter how big or small it was. I always thought of how beautiful the idea was - to have something permanently inked on your skin to remind you of who you were. Flowers drew with such hidden meaning, curved lines speaking words of poetry, ideas brought into life - tattoos are an artist’s masterpiece meant to paint on my skin as a canvas.

“Do you want me to stay? I don’t mind waiting here with you - “

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with Kageyama later today?” I remind him, chuckling.

“That man is late for everything. I think he can handle me coming late for once.”

“I’m seriously okay, Hinata! Go get ready, I’ll send a picture when it’s done,” I say as I push him out of the shop.

“Okay, okay - make sure to send me that picture!” He said as he ran out of the shop.

Why follow me if you’re itching to leave?

“That friend of yours has really bright orange hair - is it dyed or natural?” I hear someone say.

Holy shit, you’re hot.

“Oh - uh- um- It’s natural,” I say, forming some space between us.

Holy shit, you’re hot.

You tied half of your hair in a small bun, showing me the small, intricate designs on your neck. Flowers decorated your soft skin, moving down under your shirt’s sleeve. Small golden piercings decorated your ears. They were encrusted with gems of various colours that shifted under the soft lighting gracing your skin.

You looked so beautiful I couldn’t stop staring.

“So, do you have an appointment?” You asked, breaking my train of thought.

“N- no.”

Stop stuttering, Yamaguchi Tadashi.

“First time, huh?” you smiled, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. The pain is different for everyone, but I think you can handle it.”

“T-Thanks.”

God, stop stuttering.

“God, you’re cute,” you laughed while looking at my frazzled face, “Don’t worry, my dearest client - you’re in capable hands. Come - let’s discuss your design, shall we?”

You grabbed my wrist and brought me to your corner, leaving me blushed mess.

Cute.

They called me cute.

I’m breathing, right?

Okay, I’m breathing.

As we were walking, I got to see the back of your neck - more specifically, a part of your tattoo.

It was a blossoming rose - a huge one. It had vines that grew from it, encircling your whole neck, moving down your shirt and reaching the tips of your fingers. Smaller roses grew from it, branching even smaller vines surrounded by leaves.

I wanted to know the story behind that tattoo. It looked so beautiful yet so dark. The thorns that came from certain vines alarmed me, but I kept my thoughts to myself. My attention was brought to your piercings - more specifically, the design of the encrusted jewels. They were flowers, as well. In the middle of each jewel held a line of gold that branched out, just like the vines of your tattoo.

“Oh, you’re looking at my tattoo and piercings, aren’t you?” You ask, eyebrow raised.

“Is it okay if I am?” I ask, worried.

You laughed.

“Of course it’s fine. Who would get a tattoo and not prepare for all the staring? Not going to lie, here - these piercings and that tattoo help me fuel my ego. After all, everyone’s staring at them,” you joke, playing with your hair.

You sit on your chair, pointing at the one opposite you.

“What are you waiting for? Sit.”

⁜

⁜

⁜

“So, you want some small vines surrounding a moon, right?” You ask as you brought out your tablet.

“Yeah, on my middle finger.”

I had enough of his little orders - I’ll twist his words into something much more meaningful. If the Moon isn’t willing to dance with the mountains, let the vines make the Moon feel the mountain’s pain from its rejection.

“That sounds really pretty,” you say, smiling at me, “Give me a minute - I’ll do a rough sketch and you can tell me if it’s to your liking.”

You took out the tablet’s pen tool and began to sketch. I eyed your eyes as you continued to sketch what would be my tattoo.

Thanks to the light from the tablet, I could see a part of another tattoo hidden under your shirt.

It was multiple birds flying across your collarbones, but there was one bird that moved to your neck. It was a smaller bird - much, much smaller. However, its wings were bigger - bigger than the other birds’.

“My family isn’t very appreciative of my more artistic side,” you began, knowing I wanted to know the story behind it.

“I love art - all types of art. Writing, drawing, painting - I loved how you could make a whole new world just with a few lines. My family…” you paused, “As much as they loved me, they couldn’t see a world where I could make a living from it. They tried to throw away this side of me, but the more they pushed it away, the more I needed it.”

You raised your tablet, showing me your sketch.

I loved it.

It was a crescent moon, wrapped in vines. Vines grew both upwards and below, accompanied by stars. Small buds were growing from the ends of the vines, leaves surrounding them.

I don’t know how you did it, but you captured all I felt about him in a few minutes - it astounded me.

“I took a few creative liberties, but-”

“It’s amazing - don’t change it.”

You’re amazing.

You smiled, getting off your chair.

“Head to that room,” you pointed to the smaller room right beside us, “I’ll get all the tools ready.”

⁜

⁜

⁜

“You ready?” you said, placing the pen right above my middle finger.

Why did I choose my middle finger for my first tattoo? It’s literally right on a bone, it’s going to hurt like hell.

“I guess…” I whisper.

“It won’t be that painful - trust me. People overexaggerate,” you say, trying to calm me down.

People weren’t overexaggerating - it hurt.

It hurt a lot.

I bit my lip, holding back the scream on the end of my lips.

“Hold on,” you said, removing the pen.

You soon came back with candy and began to unwrap it.

“Open your mouth, my liege.”

After chuckling, I opened my mouth and you plopped the sweet in my mouth.

Ooh, mango.

“Focus on the sweet, okay?” You said, patting my back.

It felt less painful, surprisingly. Focusing on the sweet rolling in my mouth helped reduce the pain significantly.

I raised my head slightly so that I could see your intense focus on my finger. You were biting on your lower lip as you slowly moved the pen on my finger, following the temporary tattoo you made earlier as a guide. You were annoyed by a strand of your hair that refused to stay behind on your ear - your anger-filled expression said it all.

Using my other hand, I pushed it behind your ear to help you focus.

A soft thank you came from you as you continued.

Blood rushed to my cheeks the minute those words left your lips.

So cute.

“You didn’t finish your story…” I asked, trying to end the awkward silence.

“It was that interesting to you?” you smiled.

You’re interesting, Y/N.

I nod.

“I asked them if I could draw again. I didn’t want to lose that skill I finetuned all my life - it felt so wrong. They thought I’d never succeed in life if I focused on ‘these useless hobbies’ and shouted at me. I remember crying for hours, but they didn’t care,” you say as you turn off the pen, wiping the tip.

“I began to spend more hours in school just so that I could scribble and draw. They’d never know what I did there - all the drawings I did, all the stories I wrote, all the songs I sang. I am not like my parents. I strayed from the thought of ‘art is useless’- I am the bird moving away from the flock,” you said, turning your chair towards me.

“Why did they hate art? It’s something that makes you happy - If it’s something you like, you should do it,” I said, slightly pissed.

Thank God they didn’t listen to them.

“Best part - they have paintings all over the house,” you snickered.

You sighed, stretching your arms in the process.

“I don’t really care about their opinion about it, anyway. I’m no longer under their wing - I’m my own person. I get money by doing the thing I love, and that’s so fulfilling. The only thing they’re paying for right now is my college education - that’s it,” you said as you pressed a wet cloth to my new tattoo.

“Wait - we’re the same age?”

“Yeah, we are,” you smiled.

“I expected you to be way older,” I say, embarrassed.

“I am utterly offended, sir,” you say, feigning sadness.

“Come on!” I say, laughing.

“I am expecting a tip,” you say, walking towards the door.

You’re amazing, Y/N. I just wish I met you earlier…

⁜

⁜

⁜

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Yamaguchi Tadashi,” you say, closing the cash register in front of you.

“And I you, my friend.”

I walk to the door, gripping on the door handle.

I want you in my life, Y/N. Even if we spent just a few hours together, you’ve made me so happy. If you are open to the idea, I want to be friends with you - and who knows? We might become something…

I walk back to the cashier.

“Oh, did I forget something?” You ask, worried.

“No, no…”

Come on, say it.

“Hey, wanna exchange numbers? I wanna hang out with you - of course, only if you want to,” you say smiling.

Holy shit.

“Yes, please.”

You held back your laugh the minute you saw my face.

How many times have I made you laugh just by you looking at my face?

“Here’s my number,” you passed me your card, “Message me so that I get your number, too!”

“Okay!” I smile.

Holy shit. I did it.

“See you again, ‘guchi.”

⁜

⁜

⁜

[uweiy]

Omg thank you so much for the tag @omarandjohnny ! I already had a recommendation post in my drafts about shows featuring mlm relationships so this is like, the perfect opportunity

Therefore I'm gonna start with Number 6. Your top 5 and answer the rest of them in a rb :)

To My Star

The summary did them dirty tbh. It didn't really make me want to watch it but I did anyway and boyy I don't regret it, so I'll try to make a better one.

Summary : When actor Kang Seo Joon gets involved in a scandal, he ends up living with Han Jiwoo, a young chef working in a restaurant. Jiwoo is a man of habit and does not really enjoy his daily routines being messed with, but SeoJoon with his outgoing and forthright personnality might just manage to worm his way into Jiwoo's life.

This show features cooking as a love language, has incredible acting and aesthetically pleasing shots. Engaging plot, believable characters you are 100% invested in, tension but no unnecessary drama. Did I mention amazing acting ?

Anyway cannot recommend this one enough.

Where your Eyes Linger

Summary : Han Tae Joo is the son of the chairman of a huge conglomerate, blessed with a wealthy family, good looks and popularity. Kang Gook is his bodyguard, and also his only friend. Tension erupts between them when a new female student, Hye Mi, shows interest in Kang Gook. As the two go on a date, Han Tae Joo becomes irritated, and soon after, long-suppressed emotions start surfacing. Could there be more to their platonic friendship?

©: Based on Shannon0l0 at MyDramaList

What's with Korea and great acting. More dramatic than the previous one imo but I mean, it's called drama for a reason. I'm just gonna do this ao3 style : bodyguard, high school, feelings realization, friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending.

History 2: Crossing the Line

Summary : School 'bad boy' Xia Yu Hao gets pestered to join the volleyball club, where he finds himself falling for Qiu Zi Xuan, retirer player and dedicated manager of the team.

I've talked about this one already but. It just. Makes me happy. So far it's still my favorite from the HIStory series. Pretty lighthearted, and the acting is just... So damn good.

The Untamed

I like how there's no in between in this list. It's either relatively simple mini dramas or, like this one, full blown 30+ plot-heavy-episode costume dramas. I'm not sure if I have to summarize this one but still, here goes.

Summary : Wei Wuxian goes to study at Gusu Lan, and cannot for the life of him resist bothering the renowned second jade of Lan, Lan Wanji. Life happens and 16 years later, when Wei Wuxian has become feared by the whole world as the Yiling Patriarch, Lan Wangji is the only one still standing by his side.

It's about the ✨👌pining👌✨. and the profound love, and the pretty costumes and the musics and reincarnation – basically, lots and lots of angst, and so much more than just a 'romance' drama.

Word of Honor

Another if-you've-been-following-me-this is probably-not-unknown-to-you kind of thing. Still.

Summary : Zhou Zishu, renowned assassin has all but given up on life and decides to spend his last 3 years drinking in the sun. He meets Wen Kexing, a mysterious man who keeps following him, and Cheng Ling a boy who lost his family, and somehow they teach each other the things that matter in life.

Anyway. This one is about the married life, and standing by your partner no matter what. Enjoy the ride, but get ready for p a i n 🙃

Honorable mention : Love is science

Well. I kinda have to mention this one since it's my current obession lol.

Summary : Between clients dumping water on Ou Wen and Mark's knee jerk reaction when he finds out Ou Wen is gay, their first meetings are kinda disastrous. However through a series of encounters where they more or less begrudgingly help each other, they end up enjoying each other's presence more than each of them would have thought ?

It's definitely about the "oh shit I caught feelings". Yes it's a side couple, but honestly it's rather refreshing that they have an existence outside of their developing bond, relationship thingie. The acting is great, their chemistry is on point and hilarious, and each character has their own life. I cannot wait to see how this will develop.

[100gayicons]

Roy Scherer, Jr. and Andrew Kelm had a lot in common. They had abusive fathers; their parents marriages ended in divorce; and they spent their formative years living with their mothers. After serving time in the military (Andrew in the Coast Guard, Roy in the Navy) they found their way to Hollywood.

They both became clients of Henry Willson, a talent agent who specialized in making young good looking men into movie stars. Willson always gave his male clients masculine and memorable stage names - Roy became Rock Hudson (and eventually a major star for Universal) and Andrew became Tab Hunter, a future Warner Brothers star. And Rock and Tab both had a secret that could destroy their careers - they were gay.

Tab’s mother was religious and she sent him and his brother to a catholic school. Athletic, Tab developed a love of figure skating, and competed in both singles and pairs. But it was his love of horses that eventually led to an acting career.

Tab was working at a Southern California stable when a crew arrived to take photos of actress Ann Blythe. Actor (later agent) Dick Clayton was on hand and noticed young Andrew and asked him if he ever considered being an actor. Boy, that sounds like a pickup line! A few years later, after Tab’s stint in the Coast Guard, Tab met Clayton again in New York and Clayton immediately began introducing him to people in show business.

That eventual led to a meeting with Henry Willson, an agent with a reputation for making young men into movie stars (among other things he made some of those men do).

Hunter progressed quickly at Warner. He had his first minor role in 1950 (The Lawless) and by 1954 he was the a leading man (Return to Treasure Island) with Linda Darnell as his love interest. Warner Brothers notice his potential in and offered him a contract. He had a hit with his next film too - “Battle Cry” about marines fighting in the Pacific.

But after 4 films with various studios, he became unhappy with Henry Willson and decided to change agents. That would have its consequences.

Meanwhile agent Henry Willson has a big problem. A scandal magazine threaten to publish an article revealing that his star client Rock Hudson was gay. Willson made a deal with the magazine - he would give them dirt on two other actors in exchange for burning the Hudson story. The first was Rory Calhoun who had an arrest record and spent time in a Juvenal prison. Calhoun’s on screen persona was that of a tough guy, so the article just help to prop up his image.

The other actor thrown under the bus was his former client Tab Hunter. In 1950 Hunter had attended a “pajama party for men only” that was raided by the police. Hunter was arrested (along with 20 other young men) and briefly detained. While this could have ended Hunter’s budding career - he was sparred. In fact, only a few months later he was named a promising young new comer in a national poll.

The studio would regularly send him on on public dates with his costars and fabricate sham resonances with rising young starlets.

Over the next few years, while continuing to star in hit films, Hunter experimented with singing and had a #1 record with “Young Love” in 1957. Based on its success, Warner Brothers actually creates a new division (Warner Bros Records) for him to release more albums. They even bought the rights to the Broadway musical “Damn Yankee” for him to star in the film version (1958).

But what if his love life?

In the 1950s Hunter met Olympic figure skater Ronnie Roberts and they started a long term relationship. Hunter, who always loved skating, sponsored Roberts training (athletes then performed under strict amateur guideline).

They spent spent as much time as possible together - once driving cross-country together so Robbiecould attend training in Lake Placid, NY. Hunter became friends with Roberts family too. But the skating world resented Hunter’s presence are events. And this began affecting Roberts scores. The two eventually parted but remain friends.

“I was infatuated with Ronnie.... To most folks, Ronnie and I were good buddies, sharing the ice. Few people considered what else we were sharing.”

Hunter next serious relationship was with fellow actor Anthony Perkins.

“I had a wonderful relationship with him,” Hunter said.

They met at the pool at the Chateau Marmont, and Hunter was immediately attracted to Perkins. The two went on double dates (the photos of which can easily be found on the internet). In them it’s clear the boys paid more attention to each other than the girls.

Venetia Stevenson, a young actress that the studio assigned as Hunter’s beard (fake girlfriend) thought Tab was more in love with Tony than Tony was with Tab. Hunter also felt betrayed when Perkins convinced his Paramount to buy a script for him, knowing that Hunter had already played the role on TV and working working to get Warner to buy the script as well. That was the beginning of the end of their relationship.

“You never really knew Tony 100 percent. There was always a secret side, and he was a bit of a game-player with people’s minds,” said Hunter.

Hunter said of his life in Hollywood, “(it) was difficult for me, because I was living two lives at that time. A private life of my own, which I never discussed, never talked about to anyone. And then my Hollywood life, which was just trying to learn my (craft). There was a lot written about my sexuality, and the press was pretty cruel.”

At this point Hunter was feeling unfulfilled with the other roles the studio offered to him. So by 1959, he bought out his contract with Warner Brothers. The consequences of going out on his own was that he didn’t have the power of the studio promoting him. The quality of his films diminished during the 1960s and 1970s.

But in 1989, Tab Hunter had an unexpected career resurgence. Alt director John Waters asked him to star in “Polyester” opposite the ultimate Drag Queen Divine. Hunter’s his agent tried to convince him not to take the role but he decided, “What have I got to lose?”

The film was such a hit that Hunter decided to produce another film himself, costarring Divine. That effort would proved another turning point in his life.

Waters could only afford Hunter for one week. “I’m sure it was the least Tab Hunter had ever been earned on a film, and it was the most I ever paid an actor,” said Waters. “Polyester” was a hit, reviving Hunter’s film career.

While meeting with studios to raise money for what would eventually be call “Lust in the Dust”, Hunter met Allan Glaser, young executive at Fox. Sparks flew and the two soon became partners. Glaser also took on the role as producer of the film.

Hunter and Glaser settle on a ranch in Southern California when Tab regularly enjoyed horse back riding. Although out to friends, Tab was a private man. So he didn’t come out to the public until 2005 when he published his memoir. Hunter and Glaser married in 2013. The two were together for 35 years until Tab’s death in 2018.

[evilwickedme]

ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his��redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

[normal-thoughts-official]

look i want charlie's pov on malec more than anything. tall scary mobster(?) brother of cute gf is melted soft puddle for this weirdly hot dude with great eyeliner and also just generally charlie interacting with magnus actually. hey do u think if he ever found out about the shadowworld he might talk to magnus about it for someone not so close but still trustworthy and kind and safe? aaaaaaaAAAA

ok but you are right and you know what? FUCK IT. au with charlizzy endgame he can be part of the polycule lmaoo and we get to see all the dumb shenanigans that come with that

like LOOK i get why izzy would tell him that the lightwoods are jewelry makers, it's not THAT far from weapons forgery so she can probably pull that lie off, maryse probably knows a little something about it too, and besides there is her shop, but alec? Alexander Gideon Fucking Shit At Lying Lightwood? NO WAY

i mean look alec is smart and he is cunning and he actually can lie when a plan involves it (he was pretty convincing with "i will bring magnus to the clave myself") and he definitely knows how to navigate diplomacy and stuff like that, but when it comes to actually pretending to be something he's not? especially if it involves improvising? my man lightwood fucking sucks. it's the truth. the same man who convinced lorenzo he would arrest his own boyfriend went "TheSE CeiLInGS ARe spECtaCULaR" not a few moments later. do you think he knows JACK SHIT about jewelry other than what magnus and izzy like or don't like? do you think he even knows what mundanes use as means of transportation? this man doesn't know what bees are. i have to laugh

charlie is probably already half convinced that they're in the mob or some shit anyway, with the way Fucking Shit At Lying Lightwood went all "she told you we're jewelers pffft". also he saw izzy kick that vending machine. like he probably thought it was hot valid but come on now. a woman in stilettos KICKED a vending machine right in the middle without even flinching while she was in the hospital tired as shit with withdrawal sweats. charlie ain't stupid. but also he pretends that he buys it and is all ":) love jewels" just to see what they will come up with

alec gets desperate and asks magnus for help. magnus is just like why do you think i know shit about jewelry making?? alec is like "well you mix up stuff all the time. also you wear them. didn't you design our wedding ring?" and he's like "alec i used mAGIC for that. also do you think making POTIONS is the same as making JEWELS?" and alec is like "i'M DESPERATE"

cue the both of them having an intense research session. for like two whole weeks you can find the both of them at any given time watching boring as fuck documentaries about jewelers and taking notes and shit. they even get some tools so they can PRACTICE just in case charlie fucking? asks to see alec work or something? they are himbos. and of course it's all for nothing because that is NOT the part someone who's not in the field would focus on, so as soon as charlie goes "so, what's your specialty?" alec's like "what's a specialty"

bonus he looks up maryse and you know because shadowhunters are fucking dumbasses she probably just spawned into the mundane world without any documentation or backstory or ANYTHING so he finds out that maryse lightwood doesn't fUCKING EXIST and her shop just manifested fully formed one day. at this point the mob is the only possible explanation

charlie idly wonders if he should go to the police, if anything to ask about them, but he doesn't want to ruin the lightwood's lives, they are nice. then one day he walks by the police station and who does he see if not maryse's FUCKING boyfriend. "oh my god, they are infiltrated"

charlie probably thinks that alec buys magnus all his fancy stuff with like laundered money or something. he's all like "haha hey glad to see that they are so accepting of gay people in the mob- i mean jewelry making business :)"

and THEN he asks magnus and alec how they met and they are like "uh" and magnus is like "alec was. a frequent client" cuz you know not a LIE but what the hell was this mobster always going to Fancy Guy for? maybe alec doesn't buy him his stuff maybe magnus is ALSO in the mob. maybe he's a hitman or something. damn, they are really open minded in the mob

except magnus is too sweet and nice to be a hitman so either he's excellent at pretending or he also has nothing to do with any of this. maybe he's like, a tailor or something. mobsters also have to buy regular stuff right? they wear a lot of suits in the movies or whatever. maybe he's their lawyer. he's gotta be pretty good at what he does if he manages to save these guy's asses in court, because they kinda suck at blending in (bonus somehow izzy's trial comes up in conversation so he is like. oh my god magnus IS their lawyer. and his admiration for the guy just doubles cuz really, how)

so he decides, you know, if this guy is also unrelated to the mob he should probably talk to him or something. magnus is trustworthy, he figures. also, i mean, same situation, right? regular folks who just found themselves in love with weirdly sweet mobsters. maybe they can trade tips. if magnus is their lawyer, he probably knows how stuff works better than charlie anyway

so one day he shows up at magnus' and he's all like "i want to preface this by saying that i won't tell anyone" and magnus is sweating already because FUCK there's a potion simmering not two rooms away and alec's bow is rIGHT BEHIND CHARLIE HANGING IN THE DOOR. and charlie is all "do you know what the lightwoods actually do?" and magnus is like "uhhh, yes, they are jewelry makers" and he's like "come on magnus. did you really think i wouldn't figure it out? they aren't jewelry makers. did you know that maryse lightwood doesn't EXIST? hell, i bet none of them do"

cue dramatic "i know what they are" "say it. say it out loud" "mobsters" "what?" "what?" "uh"

and magnus is all like "haha charlie don't be silly of course they are not mobsters. excuse me" and shoos charlie away somehow

he probably has to EXPLAIN to the lightwoods what the mob even is cuz let's be real, there is no way they know. and everyone is like well this is very fucked up! and alec is like "hey actually we should just pretend to be mobsters, that would be easier. it's way closer to what we actually do. jewels, izzy? really?" and izzy is like "alec i'm not telling my boyfriend that we are MOBSTERS!!!" and alec is like "well of course not, that's what a mobster would say. but we can pretend that we are pretending to be jewelers but REALLY we are pretending to be mobsters who are pretending to be jewelers, leave some clues here and there, and actually convince him because he thinks he knows our secret" and izzy is like "no!!!" and alec is like ":("

(magnus is like "that was a very good plan, honey" and alec's like "right?" and magnus is like "yes, very complex, i like it. you'd make a good mobster, you could use your Shadowhunter Mode" and izzy is like "can you guys PLEASE save this for later")

anyway they probably sit charlie down and have a "charlie we are totally not mobsters and here is why" talk but charlie is very clearly like "hmmm. doubt" so after some more sweating and shit they decide to just tell him the truth lmao

bonus points if charlie goes all "THAT'S your newest lie?" and then magnus starts floating or something and he goes "oh ok i see. can i lie down for a second". i mean realistically he would probably test them but once magnus straight up portals them to paris he kind of has to face that maybe he wasn't that right. maybe luke even turns in front of him and shit. or the lightwoods use the runes to become invisible. you know. but THEN he goes "oh ok i see. can i lie down for a second"

but hey at least his cute gf isn't killing people on the side! just demons. who exist. well he can just not think about that!

hey this is random but i was picturing someone mentions that the mob sells drugs and izzy is kinda upset because, you know, she's struggled with addiction lmao. and protective ass alec is like >:( but then later izzy talks about it with charlie and it's like, sweet? extra points if she's like "worst part is that you're not even that wrong. i dragged raphael in with me" and they talk about that you know

anyway yes you are RIGHT about him going to magnus to talk about the shadow world, like, at least it's not the mob! and he was ready to talk to him about that anyway. and magnus out of all of them is the one who best understands mundanes so he can help a lot because he kinda knows what charlie will be thinking, unlike the rest of them. hell, maryse is taking classes on being a mundane. like. come on

and just aaa honestly i would just really like to see that friendship? and see charlie being all excited cuz you know he's a DOCTOR so imagine all the shit he can learn from them! and eventually magnus mentions catarina and charlie gets to meet her and he becomes kind of her inside man helping her cover her tracks when she uses magic to cure a patient that wouldn't make it otherwise or something, and he is really happy with that. and it's just sweet you know? and just yeah generally give me charlie getting close to the downworlders, maybe even getting gifts from madzie because he's been helping her mom so much, like enchanted flowers or something, please and thank you daodhsaoijdsaoi

[amandaklwrites]

TV Series Review: Miss Scarlet and the Duke (2019)

Genre: Historical Fiction/Murder Mystery/British Period Drama

Rating: 10/10

TV Show Review:

I. LOVE. THIS SHOW.

Pretty much this review will be me talking about everything I love this series, just a warning. I hope you love it too, so you can enjoy my blabbering and gushing!

I will do this review a bit differently, since it’s still relatively new, especially here in the US. I’ll talk about my general thoughts, and then I’ll do a “keep reading” when it goes down into spoilers for each episode.

So, here, for the spoiler-free part of my review:

Let me start out by saying that these characters make the whole damn show. Yes, the mysteries are great and all, but it’s the characters in this series, for me, that drives the whole thing. Eliza Scarlet is a masterful main character, and I love everything about her—from her determination, her willingness to fight the crowd to be what she wants, how she’s willing to admit some issues, that she still relies so heavily on her father after he passed away. Her humor is so incredible, and I think she’s just someone I wish I could be. Her feistiness is so wonderful. And then our Inspector Detective William “the Duke” Wellington is… one of my favorite leading men, fictional of course. I like that he’s overprotective of her (sometimes, to funny extents), that he does his job well and follows a lot of the right paths, that he doesn’t seem surprised by much of anything, and that he’s willing to fight even when he’s falling apart at the seams. And their relationship! They are so clearly in love with each other (probably have since that “chaste kiss” when they were teens…), they bicker like a married couple, and though they annoy the living hell out of each other, they would die for one another. I like that their relationship isn’t perfect and they take note of that in the show, but it feels real. It’s one of the most real relationships I have ever seen.

Moses and Rupert are such important characters and I LOVE their relationship with Eliza, their friendships that seem so different, but they just fit. I can’t go much into detail about either of them, or it will spoil entire plotlines of mysteries, but I will say that I love what the story does with their characters, how it gives them breaths of their own, that they become some of the most dynamic characters in the show with so much to them and that take a life of their own. That they feel real and important and interesting, and I love the representation. That’s all I’ll say about them in the spoiler-free review.

Now, the mysteries, were incredible. They kept me guessing through every episode, and I would have some feelings about things/people, but I wasn’t sure how it would get there. At times, I thought of the truth, but figured that they were going to trick me with it (my grandpa always told me that I have a brain for a detective, if I had some training, so that’s fun!). But still, they were so innovative and different from other mysteries that I had experienced. And I liked that each episode felt a bit different—we had a taste of ghost story feeling, even an intense thriller. They were really, really good mysteries, to me at least. And I do love me some mysteries.

Okay, so the costumes, sets and music. MY GOD. It was all SO BEAUTIFUL! Eliza’s clothes were magnificent and they had POCKETS!!! William was way too sexy in those clothes (can we bring those back??? We can leave out the discrimination that came with the time period, but let’s bring back the clothes at least!). Everyone had gorgeous clothes. And the sets were beautiful—those dirty, Victorian, coal covered streets… I loved it! (My mom says she’s not sure why I’m so in love with the dark atmosphere of the Victorian era, but I am!). The MUSIC. Can they just upload a damn soundtrack already? I need to listen to this music all the time! It sounds different and cool and I’m just so in love with it.

THE HUMOR! My god, I had never seen a murder mystery show set in another time that does humor so well. I love how they travel between scenes to make it funnier, the lines they say to one another. It makes me feel like these actors absolutely had a blast filming this show. They were so on point, and some of the funny scenes made me laugh harder than any comedy movie I’ve seen.

As you can see, I’m obsessed with this show altogether. I love it, and I want to watch it over and over. The vibe, the love stories, the characters, every. single. thing. is my jam. I know they’re planning a second season and I cannot wait for it. Ugh. My god. It’s wonderful.

So here ends my spoiler-free review. After this, I’m going to talk spoilers. So if you have seen the show and/or want to read the spoiler-y thoughts, please click on the “keep reading.” If not, see you around after your watch the show! It’s well worth it!

Let me start out by explaining more of my thoughts on the relationship between William and Eliza, because I worried that some of what I had said would give away possibly too much. So here’s that part:

The (hilarious) way that William mutters “oh jesus” whenever he finds Eliza waiting in his office, or the fact that Eliza calls herself his wife (or in one instance, something worse, but to save herself) to get what she wants also feels like a sly to personally agitate him. How that he would toss her into jail/into court when she went against things he said she shouldn’t do (though he released her/got her out at some point) never got old and even funnier to me each time. I told my mom, she was like a toddler—he couldn’t keep her in sight, so he had to lock her out. But I liked that she still argued with him despite it. Their back and forth was perfect.

I will say here, that I have seen people’s comments online how they wish that William was more on board with Eliza’s detective dreams and support her 100% much earlier on. And I get that, that he can seem like an ass at times. But honestly, I think he feels more realistic that he’s a little harder about it in the beginning. Trust me, I love this show and the way they play with characters and storylines, and that they are so forward (I mean, Eliza is so forward-thinking and modern, it’s amazing), but to me, if they made EVERYONE, i.e. William especially, it wouldn’t ground me into the time very well. I like that it was more gradual for him, to fully support her. And actually, I think for a man in the Victorian Era, with his position, he supported her as much as he could. Though he fought her on it at times, he eventually gave up trying to stop her. And I do think, in some respect, he was trying to protect her, because he does care for her. He was a man of his time, in his position, and he is changing. Can we at least give him that? Because, in all throughout history, it took a while for things to change. And it was men like William that started to understand, that started to recognize that, that helped make it happen. Plus, Eliza didn’t let him pull shit all the time, and she did fight him on it.

Now, I’m going to comment on each individual episode with my thoughts. I’ve never done this before so yay! Here it goes!

EPISODE ONE: Inheritance

I knew the weird uncle wasn’t the girl’s uncle. I didn’t expect that it was her husband (I should’ve!! We knew he was a cheat and a conartist!!), but I knew it wasn’t her rich uncle. I knew from the moment he came on screen—I remember thinking, this guy looks too young around his eyes. His beard and mustache look fake. So, I was right to an extent.

I can’t be the only one who was horrified to discover what the police did to women who worked as prostitutes or in dance halls—they could be arrested and searched for venereal disease? Seriously??? For men who were so obsessed with wanting their wives to “stay safe” and “be protected,” they sure were fine with flipping the case when it came to women that they would also gladly pay to sleep with? Why don’t they check the male clients who are PAYING for this industry. It was appalling and horrendous, and it made my skin literally crawl as they tried tying Eliza down to the chair.

On the note of that scene, Eliza calling herself William’s favorite whore to save herself is literally one of the funniest (though, darkly) things—especially in the next scene, when you see the two of them sitting in his office in silence and William is mortified, annoyed, and I think amused at the same time.

I loved how Eliza tricked that bastard husband—she set him up, AND she gave him laudanum to make him pass out? This woman knows what’s up!

Instantly from this first episode, I knew I loved this show and these characters. Eliza shows her charm and wit and humor and smarts. She’s skilled and I love her personality so much. Though I can see how she could be aggravating to others. William absolutely adores her. Rupert annoyed me a bit at the beginning, but by the end—when he asked Eliza to not marry him, I knew I would like him. And Moses! A Jamaican man brings in the race question of this dark, old world, but I love that he likes Eliza and finds her interesting. He’s terrifying, but I think he’s a good, decent man, he’s only trapped in this world because no one will let him be anything else. But he’s such a rich, interesting character.

EPISODE TWO: The Woman in Red

This episode brings in the reality of homosexuality in this world. That it has always been there (damn those bastards who think otherwise), but it has been hidden away. That men and women have to fear for their lives, and also marry people they do not want because they want to not be noticed. I loved finding out Rupert was gay—my mom called that one!—and the friendship he develops with Eliza. That he trusts her to tell a secret that could literally have him killed and ruined. And that Eliza doesn’t even blink, that she’s willing to keep his secret to the grave, and I cried when she basically told him that. It’s quite beautiful that Eliza even seemed to be grateful that he trusted her enough to give her that secret.

Which was used in interesting juxtaposition to the gay man, accused of murdering his lover, and his wife. I understand the woman’s hurt, that she loved this man and it turned out he didn’t love her in the same way. But that didn’t mean her willingness to let him die for a crime he didn’t commit was at all good or called for. With Eliza talking her down, to prove that the woman’s husband was innocent, I think proved that though she was hurt beyond reason, she did love that man who was her husband and didn’t want to see her die. It’s really a hard situation, especially during that time, when people were constantly shoved down their throats that homosexuality was bad. Not that I’m giving her a “it’s okay,” but I can understand the pain and confusion she went through. Especially because she pulled through.

Through this whole episode, we thought it was the wife that had murdered the lover (the other man). I was surprised to find out that he had killed himself, cut his own throat (which I had heard wasn’t possible to do—but my grandpa, who had worked as a detective, told me that is a myth people talk about, that it’s really easy to cut your own throat). That was a shock, and it made me so sad. That he was dying because he was unhappy, because he hated what he was, because of damn society telling him so. I actually started crying, because as someone who is bisexual, I would be condemned in this time during for openly being with men and women, though I couldn’t even compare to people who are gay or lesbian, because the situation is not the same. But I could connect, I could understand. And I hated knowing the pain all those people were in, that a man had killed himself because of what he was, and that another man had to live with that. It truly breaks your heart.

William’s response to finding out the dead man was gay was interesting. I thought his comment “in my line of work, nothing surprises you” funny, but also telling. He didn’t act disgusted, he didn’t mistreat the husband when they questioned him afterward. The show didn’t directly say his thoughts on homosexuality, but I got the vibe that he was “whatever” about it. Like he knew it was there, and he wasn’t condemning it publicly. That gives him credit, in my book.

Another great episode that got deep and beautiful.

EPISODE THREE: Deeds Not Words

Is this show just obsessed with getting right down to modern issues that were also faced in this time, but not as strongly discussed? Because I’m all for it! This episode was all about the suffrage movement. But I liked the take they did on it.

Yes, they spoke out about the treatment of women. That men, white men, controlled this whole world. But I also thought it was interesting that they made this main suffragette not the greatest person. It made everything complicated. Like, everything she said to Eliza made sense, and I found myself cheering with her. But she shot a man in cold blood, she was willing to bomb a whole building of men—even though it seems justified because of what their club represents.

I think this episode was discussing the balance. That there can be change, but when you attack the people who you are trying to change, it may not work in your favor. At least, that was the vibe I got. Not to stoop to their levels, to become just as horrible as them. Her ideas and words were great, but her actions were a bit… skeptical.

Eliza and William’s response were interesting as well. Eliza felt a passion for the cause, William thought it a bit extreme. But, to me, by the end of the episode, they had a common understanding, they had reached a comfortable middle. I think, this show was showing that was how change came. People seeing eye to eye, and then it spreading from there. Of course, William has faults, but I think he’s truly trying. Especially with each episode. And the more Eliza and he grow.

EPISODE FOUR: Memento Mori

We got our ghost episode! I wasn’t even expecting it, it was incredible! A ghostly image of a dead wife that had killed herself reappearing in photos? How wild and cool is that idea!

I didn’t know that the Victorians had a thing where they took photos of their dead loved ones, looking like they were alive (y’all, the Victorians were obsessed with death…), but it’s an interesting concept. Maybe even sweet. I get what they were trying to do, even if it did seem morbid. How I feel about it is, if it brings you peace, then go for it (as long as it’s nothing disturbing or harming anyone).

The twist was one I had a hint of but hadn’t expected the whole thing. I knew the daughter had something to do with it (how disturbed is this poor girl??), but I hadn’t expected that the mother had planned this before she killed herself because she knew the woman and her husband were already having an affair. It was interesting and a creepy twist, but I was all for it.

Still, I loved how we had moments of eeriness and the haunting feeling in the house when Eliza stayed over. I felt scared and freaked, and most people that know me know that I do not like horror. But this was the perfect eeriness, which I do love.

That scene from this episode where William screams at the poor telegram young man to give them the message or he’ll break everyone bone in his body and then being like “are you crying?” was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I mean, it’s terrible, but the way it was done was hilarious and amazing.

EPISODE FIVE: Cell 99

This episode was… dark. I liked that it was set in an abandoned prison, and my god, was it creepy as hell. I loved all the shots of William walking through gave me the chills.

This one felt like a thriller to me. How it was filmed, set up, how everything went down. Except for the hilarious scene when they are both so annoyed with each other (Eliza and William, that is) that they both scream in frustration is brilliant. But otherwise, it took a dark tone that made me feel like something was watching my back. Especially as that big, scary guy came walking down the stairs when William and Eliza were trapped, ready to kill them both. I was nearly screaming at the tv in utter horror.

My mom had called it—and I had a feeling—that Eliza’s father had been murdered, not just drinking himself to death and found in the gutter. And there’s a gang now? How interesting!

The masked man was strange, as well as the forger locked away. But he was shot and killed, and it confused me.

I have a strange confession to make: that whole time with William in his dress shirt (without the coat), with his arm covered in blood, was weirdly…. Hot? Please don’t ask me explain. I have weird things to me. But I think it was also hot that though he was hurt and bleeding, he was gearing up to fight that big, scary man to protect himself and Eliza. I like that kind of shit, so much.

This episode was twisted, and it left me with more questions than anything.

EPISODE SIX: The Case of Henry Scarlet

My mom knew William’s boss was in with the gang! I liked that they actually explored the reality of corruptness in the police force (my grandpa had personal experiences himself, and that was why he left), and they laid it all bare. Despite the things that we are learning in this present day, it’s always been there. Which is horrifying and disturbing. That these police who are supposed to protect us are willing to delve into the corrupt world to bring themselves more power and money. Because that’s what it boils down to, doesn’t it? Powerful men wanting more and more.

I liked that William was okay with the truth unfolding, and not fighting it, trying to prove innocence for his boss. To me, it made me feel like that he knew something was up with that man (just beyond not liking him). For his character, it made me think that he was one of those people that was actually good and good at his job, trying to do the right thing. Even if he got distracted and didn’t give Eliza credit where it was due, and fought some things, he was trying to do what he thought was right. He didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t go after anyone specifically. Though him and Moses had some standoffs because he wasn’t sure about the other man, he gave him some thanks and shook his hand. Which is huge for that time period.

I did suspect William’s buddy. I always felt like something was happening with him, and that he would be the perfect bad guy because he knew what was going on at all times. And it was proven right! Though it wasn’t any less terrible, William having to realize that his close friend at Scotland Yard as the bad, bad guy who killed their boss when things were turning ugly.

But Moses to the rescue! I loved that he swooped in, teaming up with Eliza, and taking the guy out! I love Moses so much, he’s one of my other favorites.

And their ending, with a promise of dinner, of love on the horizon was exactly what I needed.

Lasting thoughts:

Besides all the amazing storylines and characters they brought in, besides Eliza and William’s chemistry and relationship, to me, this felt like a story about a daughter and her father. We see flashbacks of Eliza as a child with her father, how he taught her his detective work, when that wasn’t something men did typically in that time, and how she would still talk to him after he had died. That though she had chosen this profession for herself, it was also some way to connect to her father. Something they had shared when she was motherless and only had him, and he gave her these skills and talents, helped her hone in on them. And once he had passed, she fought like hell to keep it, but make it her own. I liked that their relationship wasn’t perfect, but they loved the hell out of each other. She was a grown woman, who believed in herself, but she still turned to him—a ghost, a memory, or whatnot—when she felt at the bottom.

This series is incredible, perfect and just all around so masterful in so many different ways. I knew from the moment I heard about it that I would love it. And it turns out I was right, but even more than I had expected.

Now, I think it’s time for a rewatch.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Christmas 2018

Christmas fics posted in 2018  (Includes non-English fics) 

Snön ligger vit på taken by MinilocIsland, Treehouse (In Svenska, 62k words) - Det här extrajobbet måste vara den bästa idén Isak någonsin har haft. Långa, ensamma nätter med massor av tid att plugga. Helt chill. Ingenting som stör. Tills den där långa, snygga regissören flyttar in i taksviten. 

Hele Norge Baker by MermaidsandMermen (61k words) - Are you brave enough to stay? Or strong enough to walk away? Isak Valtersen is neither, still reeling with guilt over leaving his little family, walking away from a life that was slowly suffocating him. He’s neither strong or brave, he’s a coward. Stupid, weak and easily led, with no idea how to make things right. He’s made himself a promise though, he is going to stay single and finally take control of his own life. He’s going to be happy. Work hard. Be the best father he can be, and he is never going to let himself get dragged into a relationship again. He’s been there, done that, and it’s not for him. He is going to have a quiet winter, a quiet Christmas and he is going to chill. Lick his wounds and for once just be himself. That’s the plan. 

The First Noel by colazitron (2k words) - Even's parents have a cabin in Hemsedal where the family traditionally spends Christmas. This year, Isak's coming with. 

Fucking Bieber by Kollakolan (6k words) - “So,” Elias starts. “You’ve decided to join us on Christmas Eve?” Isak just nods, as he is just about to take a sip. “Great. It’s not really that complicated. The baskets are already made; you’ll just pick them up and deliver them according to a list of addresses. Oh, and also, you need to be wearing at least a Santa’s hat.” “Since it’s Christmas specials and all,” Mikael adds. 

boys and boys and girls and girls by colazitron (2k words) - Noora meets a handsome boy at the Christmas market one day, but all is not she may have originally thought. 

The first star you see may not be a star by Laika_the_husband (53k words) - In this story of dark and woe Isak is a sex worker who specializes in services of not traditionally sexual nature. Want to watch someone sharpen a pencil really slowly, making a long twirly unbroken strip, for your kicks? Isak's your guy. He is good at his job and he likes it, and it pays the bills while he's studying civil engineering at the Met.It's also convenient that Isak doesn't have to actually touch any of his clients. Because he can't touch anybody, and nobody can touch him, or he'll freak out completely. One day, Isak goes to meet a client, and sees EvenStarr, the video artist whose stuff he loves. And his request is not the most bizarre, but the most disturbing one Isak has ever received. 

Christmas prompts by nofeartina (4k words) - Collection of prompts Tina wrote for on tumblr. 

The wish I wish tonight by imminentinertia (1k words) - A visit to Marianne, and a present, of sorts 

Jumpstart by colazitron (2k words) - Isak and Even spend their first Christmas just the two of them in Trondheim. 

What is the light by unsungyellowraincoat (1k words) - That year Mom can’t put up the Christmas tree. 

Santa Baby by Laika_the_husband (21k words) - Part 3. The story where the author suddenly found out Isak is polyamorous. And genderqueer. The POV changes every now and then. I'm making this to examine the poly Evak from various angles. 

Expiration Date by Treehouse (5k words) - In the midst if the December stress, Isak has to make use of the gift card Eskild gave him for Christmas last year. A gift card for a freaking massage. 

The Næsheims by Kollakolan (2k words) - “Well, you know the Næsheims?  ”Yes, Isak knows the Næsheims. Or rather, he knows of them, and he knows that Sana knows them. They have a restaurant down town where Sana’s brother works. They’ve gone by a couple of times when Sana needed to hand him keys or something. Isak also knows that the son in the Næsheim family is maybe the hottest guy in all of Oslo. Not that he has told anyone that he think’s so, but I mean come on, it’s not like Isak must spell it out. They have eyes. 

By Your Side by MinilocIsland (1k words) - Some Christmas traditions may not be what they seem, but it doesn't really matter. 

In una sera così serena by imminentinertia (2.6k words) - Isak has had quite enough of Christmas and it's only December 13. 

December 2018 by imminentinertia (Series, 6 Fics) 

bits and pieces of their love by cammm (Series) - One shots. All may not be Chrismassy. 

Ho Ho Ho!!! by MermaidsandMermen (5.5k words) - A big fundraising School Christmas Market, to raise the last bit needed for that big Revue. It will be great. Lots of local families coming to drink glogg and buy hotdogs and do stupid money pinching games. Yes and the kids can meet Santa. Sit on his lap and get a present. Such christmassy fun. 

one thing I really do need by colazitron (3.5k words) - Isak comes home from meeting the boys for some gløgg feeling festive and cheerful. 

Den lengste natta by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (In Norsk, 22k words) - Det er fredag den 21. desember 2018 og vintersolverv. Fruktbarhetsguden Frøy, i Evens skikkelse, må for første gang gjøre seg fortjent til den gaven han ønsker seg aller mest; kjærlighet. 18 år gamle Isak syns kjærligheten virker uoppnåelig, helt til han kommer hjem til Oslo på juleferie og besøker Jonas og Eva på kafeen Eldrimni. 

Gay Jesus by unsungyellowraincoat (1k words) - Eskild has an encounter. 

A New Tradition by bri_ness (1k words) - Lea has Isak and Even over for Christmas Eve. 

A different celebration by Kollakolan (3k words) - “We realized a few years ago that we were a few friends who never celebrated Christmas with our families. At first it was just me, Elias, Noora and one of Elias friends. But now usually some exchange students come along as well as other people that we find on the way.” “Like me?” Sana just smiles at him. 

Times like now by nofeartina (3k words) - Isak watches him, looks into Even’s eyes with what light’s left, watches his mouth go slack as Isak slowly puts his hand inside the fly and pulls out Even’s dick. He’s so hard. Isak wants to worship him, wants to show him how perfect he is. 

Warmth by bri_ness (557 words) - Isak doesn't know how to accept a Christmas present from his mom. 

From Spark to Flame by MinilocIsland (1.5k words) - He'd thought he'd be alone in the castle for Christmas as usual. This year, however, there's a slight disruption to Isak's Christmas plans. 

i wish for by hippopotamus (2k words) - Isak just wishes that one person would want to get to know him before they knew that he could do magic. 

i think i recognise your face but i've never seen you before by monsterandmana (1k words) - Even works in a coffee shop. Isak is on the coffee run. It's Christmas. 

Fotokalendern by Kollakolan (In Svenska, 12k words) - Tags says Christmas but not really so I’m not sure. 

The Magician by folerdetdufoler (3.6k words) - the "christmas magic" prompt 

Two truths and one tale by evak1isak (7.6k words) - Isak ends up in Eva's cabin for a Kosegruppa's New Year's Eve Party. And begins the new year with a new boyfriend. 

I'll be home for Christmas by teatrolley (9k words) - They’ve been in Trondheim for half a year now. But for Christmas, they’re coming home. Or: Sometimes the things you were running from become the things you want to run towards 

Merry Kiss My Ass (under the mistletoe) by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (10k words) - Working in retail during the holiday season is a nightmare. Especially when Isak has to work right alongside his just friend and not at all crush, Even. Among freaky customers, secret santa presents and constant reminders of his one night of passion with Even, Isak doesnt know if he'll make it to the new year. If only he could figure out who was behind all the random mistletoes he keeps finding... 

The Magic of Christmas by wyoheartsmusic (4k words) - Isak hates his job - especially during Christmas; to be honest, he pretty much hates anything involved with Christmas. But then Even comes around and maybe he doesn't hate anything all that much 

o night divine by thekardemomme (4k words) - This is the first Christmas in nearly five years that he’s spending without Isak, and while he still decorated his apartment and bought eggnog and spent an excruciating amount of time wrapping all of his gifts perfectly, the hole in his heart hasn’t gone unnoticed. It creeps in every time he goes to ask Isak for a bow for his gifts, every time he comes home and has to turn on the Christmas lights himself because Isak wasn’t there to do it for him, every time he plays Christmas music much too loud because Isak isn’t studying in the other room and teasingly pleading for him to turn it down a few notches. It also creeps in when he sees Isak’s present sitting under the tree, neatly wrapped. It’s been wrapped for two months, actually. 

I'm Stuck on You by Twinklylightseverywhere (6k words) - Jonas lets out another nervous laugh. Isak wishes his best friend would shut up. “You two will take the spare room. Uh… with one bed.” “ONE BED?” Isak and Even both shout at the exact same time. “Merry Christmas!” 

Mine egne meninger by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (In Norsk, 17k words) - Eva kunne allerede kjenne hjertet banke raskere. Hun visste det var tullete, men med ett bare visste hun at hun kom til å slite med å dele rom med Vilde. Hun kom til å bli gående rundt en feberhet tåke og tenke på Vilde hele helga. Til ingen nytte. Fy faen. Dette kom jo til å bli en helt strålende romjulsferie.  I think this is an Evilde fic. 

Shall I Find No Other by ultimatelawrence (5k words) - Everyone is born with a compass on their body, inked into their skin and commonly on their inner left arm. Instead of pointing to north, the needle on the compass points in the direction of your true soulmate. Even wants to find his as soon as possible. 

hope you're wearing your best clothes by colazitron (2.6k words) - Even's original plan was to get Isak Harry Styles merch. One of those “treat people with kindness” sweatshirts because Isak likes being cosy and he likes Harry Styles and it's a nice slogan. 

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

[sierraraeck]

Healing - Epilogue

What happens after the end?

A/N: Just shit headcanons of mine. Some might be things I wanted to include and didn’t fit, or just fun ideas I had.

Later at the dinner party, Savannah makes a comment about Spencer and Aundreya and their relationship and whatever so Derek describes it to her.

He says he’d describe it as “He’d die for her, and she’d kill for him. Hell, they both already have.” Flashback to that time Spencer got shot and that other time her dad grabbed him and held a gun on him and that other time he had a sniper on him and that other other time he got kidnapped and tortured.

Then Derek asks Aundreya (who’s no longer paying attention to anyone other than Spencer) “Speaking of, what is your body count for him? Five?”

“Uh… let’s not talk about it.” It was seven. Darrell Fairchild (the guy in prison), a prison guards (she accidentally blew too much of the drug in his face), Dakota (Spencer’s dealer), Xena, Archer, Joe Spade (her dad died in prison because she sent him there and died probably due to her friends on the inside if we wanna count that), and DeLeon.

She didn’t kill DeLeon when she first cuffed him, but her friends in prison killed him on behalf of her so…

Aundreya insists that Spencer get her ring symbol tattooed on his hip like the rest of them. His has a little diamond on the inside of one of the infinity loops so everyone knows that he’s “the king to Alionth’s queen”

Aundreya stays with the BAU but whenever she has free time, she visits the ring and does what she can to keep them going, but Deen is doing a pretty good job on his own.

Deen is totally in love with Penelope and the two of them go on to have an amazing life together, causing Deen to step back a little.

Which means that Mateo and Niko get to take on more responsibility.

Mateo.

Ugh he was a good one, but he wasn’t Spencer. Mateo knew it was coming before it happened. He could see it in Aundreya’s eyes. He’s doing okay and will hopefully find some new lady soon.

Niko and Roman are together, by the way, so they’re all good.

Everyone, including the BAU, was invited to the wedding. Chaos ensued.

Mateo finally gets to rename “the ring” “the Lions”

The Lions become a criminal information network that consults with the FBI. They still do their own shit, but are up for hire, by the BAU specifically if they need it.

Aundreya finally stops dancing for money.

But she still does it for fun.

Like for Derek’s bachelor party, she got all of her best girls to dance with her, and even taught Savannah a few moves which she learned at her bachelorette party so that she could perform for Derek.

Aundreya totally gives the girls lessons.

Emily is strong so she's pretty good at it, but she’s not as flexible as JJ who is actually kind of a natural. She’s also a twig, so that doesn’t hurt. Tara has already taken a pole dancing class, so she’s got it together. Penelope is the best at all the dance stuff and could give you the lap dance of your life. Deen approved.

They perform it one night at the strip club and make a shit ton of money. What do you expect, though? They’re wearing these super hot revealing clothes and everyone is losing their minds. The girls understand the appeal and why Aundreya hasn’t quit yet. Plus, free drinks afterwards.

Aundreya always comes home to Spencer who is more than willing to reap the rewards of her in sexy stripper clothes.

But she also totally has fun staying in and reading, or curling up on the couch with him watching tv.

They’re amazing in the field.

They have very different skill sets, but when they team up, watch your back. They bounce ideas off of each other so fast sometimes the team can’t keep up. But the real magic happens in the interrogation rooms. They play off each other so well it’s honestly scary. They’re always on the same page and can freely improvise and the other can totally change their plan and follow. Like mind reading, but scarier.

Both of them still have nightmares, Spencer more than Aundreya because of his memory, but she’s always there to comfort him. They’ve had their fair share of late night walks. Spencer always brings his gun, and Aundreya has a dagger. They’re prepared.

She once took down a man that had been walking in the same direction as them for too long and kept side eyeing them. Apparently he was ‘looking at Spencer wrong’

Turns out, he was super gay and into Spencer and wanted to know if that was his girlfriend or someone else.

“Who else would I be to him?”

“Uh, I don’t know? Sister, cousin, friend…”

“I totally see the appeal but he’s taken.”

“Aundreya, get off him, I’m so sorry sir.”

They snuggle.

Neither will admit it.

But it happens.

One time it happened on the jet and the team had a meltdown.

They made fun of Spencer, asking him 21 questions about how he could get Aundreya to soften up, but no one really said anything to Aundreya about it.

Except Derek.

He made fun of her relentlessly and she kicked his ass.

The two of them spar a lot because it’s fun. They’re pretty evenly matched, but when Aundreya is pissed, Derek doesn’t have a chance. He’s stopped sparing with her when she’s in a bad mood, no matter how much she begs and reasons that it’ll make her feel better.

“But it won’t make me feel better”

“That’s not true. I know that you enjoy a good workout”

“Not when I can’t walk the next day because you don’t know how to take it easy”

“I always spar when you’re angry”

“Yeah because I’m not an out of control maniac!”

He had a point.

It’s usually their entire workout for the day. They usually draw a crowd because they’re mesmerizing to watch, but there was one time that a bunch of teenagers were around, so they recorded it and posted it on YouTube and Instagram. They went viral.

Aundreya is Emily’s wing-woman at a lesbian bar and totally helps her get this super hot trainer. It happens more than once, sometimes with Tara joining too until Emily and Tara pull themselves together and kiss. Aundreya had a similar pep talk with Emily as she had with her about Spencer.

The only other person besides Spencer that sees her soft side is Penelope. After a really rough case, they’ll drive to as many pet shops in the area and look at/hold as many cute animals as they can. The owners know them by now and will let them basically hold and take care of any animal they want to.

Rossi gifts Aundreya his expensive whiskey from that night as a housewarming gift when her and Spencer finally get a little townhouse. They didn’t want something big, but still wanted an upgrade from an apartment.

Side note: Aundreya not only wanted to recruit Penelope to join her ring, but she was looking to rope Rossi in as a client since he’s stupid rich. Never happened but could’ve been fun.

Spencer and Aundreya can really only sleep if the other is with them. It’s like they’re the other’s sleeping drug. They always get paired in the same room, because one time they tried to separate them, and they were inhaling caffeine like it was the only thing keeping them alive and were grumpy as hell the next day.

They check on the other whenever they can. It’s usually small, like longer eye contact or a small squeeze on the shoulder. They’re not big on PDA so they wait until they’re in private to just full on collapse into the other and hold each other.

They call when they haven’t heard from the other in too long because they worry.

But their favorite little “tradition” is the mornings. They have a nice routine, but the mornings they love the most are the ones they have off. They have a porch, so they’ll take their coffee and tea out there, and just sit, enjoying the morning air. Even when it’s snowing, they don’t take as long, but they make the effort to just go outside and take a deep breath before the craziness of the day starts. It grounds them and helps remind them that they’re alive, and that the other is right beside them.

And always will be.

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (1959)(Part 1)

Y’know, I actually do like Doris Day.

She’s funny, she’s talented, and she’s a timeless beauty that I remember very well. TOO well. You guys ever have that one thing that your parents crammed down your throat SO MUCH that you got sick of it? Well, that’s what my Mom did with The Thrill of it All.

Which is, for the record, a cute movie, and one worth watching again at some point. But I’m gonna ease my way into that with Doris Day and Rock Hudson’s first movie, 1959′s Pillow Talk. 

However, while I’m not stranger to Doris Day, I’m afraid that I don’t know too much about Rock Hudson from experience. Well, there is one interesting tidbit about him: Hudson was one of the biggest stars of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and his career continued up until his death in 1985...from AIDS-related complications.

Yeah, Rock Hudson was one of the biggest gay celebrities in Hollywood, although he never publicly came out. However, it was somewhat of an open secret in the community at large, and basically all of his female co-stars know about it. 

And said secret was revealed posthumously, after his tragic death during the height of the AIDS crisis. He was by far one of the most high-profile deaths during this time period, and you’d think that would’ve caused more waves about the AIDS-crisis, considering that he was good friends with...well...another actor.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, not gonna get into Reagan and ALL OF THAT SHIT here. This here is a movie blog, not a political blog! But, uh, yeah, a LOT of fucked-up shit about Reagan and the AIDS crisis, obviously, and part of it was Rock Hudson. So, yeah, it’s something that I wanted to address before we got into this whole shindig.

Because, again, I’ve never seen a Rock Hudson movie, but dude was a pretty huge deal, and this was a part of his life that I felt it unfair not to at least acknowledge. SO, with that out of the way, let’s have a little Pillow Talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with that might be one of my favorite opening sequences so far this month, which you can see above. From there, Jan Morrow (Doris Day) wakes up, humming the theme song from the credits, which is clever, considering that she sang it! Talented lady, seriously.

Jan wakes up and goes to the phone, intending to make a call. However, this is where we get a pretty stark cultural difference, and a needed history lesson for some of us, me included. See, Jan’s phone line is actually a party line, seen through this neat little visual edit.

See, this is what’s called a “party line”. From the 1870s onwards, there was a shortage of available phone lines. By the time you get to the ‘60s, more and more people had personal phones in their households, but without enough lines to go around. And so, some people were forced to share their phone lines with others, hence the party line system!

Here’s the thing, though: if somebody was on the line already, anyone else on that line could hear the conversation of other people. Which is exactly what’s pissing of Jan right now, as she needs to make a call, but the line is being used by her party line partner, songwriter Brad Allen, who’s serenading his girlfriend (?) Eileen (Valerie Allen). Not sure that they’re actually dating, but Eileen definitely wants to.

After Jan’s insistence, they get off the phone, and Jan’s able to begin her busy morning at last. Well...almost. Brad’s now talking to Yvette (Jacqueline Beer), and she wants him to sing HER song to her, which is LITERALLY just the Eileen song with a different name and in French! Which is...hilarious. It’s very funny, not gonna lie.

Once again, Jan tells him to get off the party line, and hangs up angrily. She leaves just as her cleaner woman, Alma (Thelma Ritter) arrives, fresh off of a hangover. Jan goes to try and get a line of her own, and the manager, Mr. Conrad (Hayden Rorke) makes a WEIRDLY sexist comment about jumping to the top of the list if she were pregnant. Which, yeah...weird.

Anyway, Jan, in her frustration, tells Mr. Conrad that she’s hired of sharing the line by a “sex maniac.” Mr. Conrad asks for specifics, and is AGAIN WEIRDLY SEXIST ABOUT IT. He asks if his dalliances with other women disturb her in particular. But yeah, he also says that if he is indeed a “sex maniac,” they may need to disconnect him altogether. Which has...uncomfortable undertones all on its own, but whatever, moving on.

On her way to work, Jan’s friend Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall) shows up to bring her a STRAIGHT-UP CAR, holy shit! He’s doing so to thank her for decorating his offices (she’s an interior decorator, he’s a car dealership owner, so...fair exchange?). She insists that it’s too personal, which confuses him, as it isn’t perfume or lingerie.

But, uh, dude? IT’S A WHOLE-ASS CAR!!! Look, I’m with her on this one, don’t just give me a fuckin’ car out of the blue! I don’t care what the reason is, tell me that shit first! And Jonathan is CLEARLY trying to make it just a little more personal, if you get my meaning.

Jan finally arrives at her office, owned by Mr. Pierot (Marcel Dalio), and she tells him that an inspector has been sent to look after Mr. Allen. This inspector is Miss Dickenson (Karen Norris), and being of the wimmins, is immediately entranced by the apparently irresistible Mr. Allen, sabotaging any attempt at inspection.

The next morning, the inspector’s report comes through, and Miss Dickinson has of course cleared him of all charges. He calls her, and the two clash in a way that definitely means they’ll never, ever, ever fall in love, no sir, not these two, not a CHANCE IN HELL

They agree to make a schedule for using the phone, and Brad accuses Jan of being jealous of his free-wheeling, bed-hopping lifestyle, which she takes great offese to. But after they hang up, she thinks on the idea of having bedroom problems. Looks like Jonathan wants to fix that, on account of being the THIRSTIEST MAN ALIVE.

Dude has three three ex-wives, all of which were revolts against his mother, for which he’s seeing a psychiatrist.

...CHRIST, the man’s a walking-talking red flag. Jan also says that she doesn’t love him, like...AT THE FUCK ALL, and the man just straight-up says, “How do you know, we’ve never even kissed.” Ai which point, any normal person would see the phantom neckbeard and whip out the fuckin’ bear mace, but Jan just lets him lean in for the goddamn kiss!!!

Jan...standards, Jan. My God. Anyway, she still turns him down, he asks her to get married again, and she leaves. For God’s sakes, man. Anyway, she goes home, where Alma’s listening to Brad serenade a girl over the party line. Jan notes the time, and tells him to get off the line. He calls back, and tells her off.

Brad gets a visitor: his old college friend FUCKIN’ JONATHAN AGAIN. He bemoans being a millionaire (po’ babyyyyy), then reveals that he’s pining over Jan, whom he doesn’t know is the person on the party line with Brad. He hears a good amount of information about Jan from Jonathan.

After the conversation, Brad tries to somewhat reconcile with Jan, but she doesn’t have any interest in doing so. That night, the two have separate affairs. Brad meets up with a woman named Marie, and  serenades her with the same goddamn song from earlier, that suave motherfucker. Dude flips a switch, and the door fuckin’ LOCKS! Jesus, state-of-the-art hook-up tech of 1959.

Meanwhile Jan is attending a dinner held by an extremely client, Mrs. Walters (Lee Patrick). Needing to get home, she has her son Tony (Nick Adams) give her a ride. But on the way home, they stop and WHAT THE FUCK TONY??? I actually can’t find a clip or GIF of this, so I’ll tell you...he is ALL THE FUCK OVER HER, and it’s GROSS. CAN WE PLEASE STOP SEMI-RAPING DORIS DAY? WHAT THE FUCK, IN NO WAY IS WHAT I JUST WATCHED OK, HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Like...wow, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt watching a movie in a WHILE. And it’s not even because of the act itself, it’s because of how...OK it feels in the context of the film. Jan is BARELY upset by this slimy little weasely-faced rapey CREEP LITERALLY ASSAULTING HER IN THE FUCKING CAR. And in case you were wondering, yes! This film was written by FOUR MEN.

This is gross. Sorry, but this whole sequence is gross, and it gets even LONGER, because she AGREES TO GO GET A DRINK WITH HIM. WHY, JAN? STOP ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR. He tries to get her drunk (but ends up drunk himself), but she tries to leave. However, who should be sitting one table but Brad, who realizes who this is. Jan tries to leave, but Tony tries to get her to dance with him, AND SHE ONCE AGAIN AGREES, JAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

And its during this time of distress for Brad that, OF COURSE, he finds himself extremely attracted to her. And since he knows who she is, but she doesn’t know him, he decides to fake his identity. And there we go, we’ve got a creepy-ass one-sided relationship set-up.

Meanwhile, lightweight Tony passes out on the floor, drunk as shit. Brad goes into help, putting on a take Texas accent and calling himself Rex Stetson. And OF FUCKING COURSE, she’s lost in his fuckin’ eyes. Damn those eyes, and his suave bullshit.

They shove Tony into a cab, then take his car, which appears to be too small for Brad, which makes sense, given the fact that Hudson was 6′4″, goddamn! The two take a cab, and the two reveal their mutual attraction to the audience, through their inner thoughts. Looks like all Jan needed for a relationship was handsome-ass Rock Hudson.

In her thoughts, she thinks on how honest and down-to-earth Rex Stetson seems, unlike “monsters” like Tony and Brad Allen. And OF COURSE this is how we get this started. OF GODDAMN COURSE this is how we start this relationship. Liar revealed, LIAR REVEALED, I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT GODDAMN TROPE SO MUCH

Soon after “Rex” takes her home, he goes home herself, and gives her a call, inviting her to dinner the following night. She accepts. Then, in the middle of the call, Brad pretends to pick up the line as himself, in order to set up the two identities as being separate...this is reverse You’ve Got Mail, isn’t it?

Think about it. Two people that hate each other, and they’ve never seen one another, but also love each other after meeting in person. IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Ugh. Fine. Even down to the fact that he has a sizeable advantage over her, due to his full knowledge of the situation. He even tries to use his identity as Brad Allen to set-up their date the next night for success.

And it works, goddamn. A clever yet manipulative asshole, this dude is. They get on a horse and carriage, and we hear the inner thoughts of Jan, Brad, and the dude who owns the horse. And, yeah...it’s funny. The two go to dinner, where Jonathan shortly arrives. Brad gets him out of there with...mildly fatphobic means, but it is the 1950s, so things were just kinda...entirely that.

But in any case, Brad gets away with it, and he and Jan spend a hell of a lot of time together going all around the city. And the whole time, he’s playing the role of “Rex.” Ugh. This is a good halfway point, so let’s go to Part 2 here! See you there!