#it has been like 3 ? years since she said it and every time I dislike my nose I think about that . thamk u nani

[vampyr3wife]

Nani single-handedly helped me like my nose 50% more when she told me it is catlike

[crescenthistory]

hi there love! i hope you're doing well 🤍 if it's okay w/ u, i'd like to request a regulus fic (are we surprised? no-) with an animagus! reader. maybe reggie and reader got into a fight about something and reader's still holding a grudge. they refuse to change out of their cat (or any animal u choose!) form and regulus is trying everything to get them to change back. ending in fluff probably :D

~🍓

i'm quite alright darling, hope the same goes for you<3 this little drabble is written with the same cat!animagus!reader i've written for reggie so far in mind (whiskers, my love) since she's known to be petty...

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: fem!reader, minor fight (lighthearted), embarrassment, you're petty, regulus grovels, black brothers have poor people skills, make-up, background wolfstar and (judgemental) bsf!remus

"How long has she been like this?"

Sirius was eyeing Regulus funnily, seemingly drawn between wanting to laugh at him and wondering if maybe he should comfort him. Remus felt none of the latter sentiments and all of the former.

"Since our last class on Friday," Regulus replied miserably from where his face was buried in his hands, resting atop his knees. "She shifted immediately after."

"So... for over 24 hours," Sirius surmised.

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, based on how Regulus lifted his head from where he was practically bent in half, just to glare at his older brother. "Thanks for doing the maths, Sirius. Not the problem I needed solving, though." Throughout his sentence, his eyes increasingly narrowed at his brother as if his irritation grew with every word.

"No, your problem," Remus volleyed. "Is whatever the hell you've done."

Regulus groaned and buried his face once more.

Across the common room from the trio, a white and grey cat was pettily walking back and forth along whatever furniture it could reach. Its tail was standing up straight, whipping about in annoyance.

Remus poked Regulus in the ribs to get a response. "What'd you do, Baby Black?"

"I may or may not have corrected her in Potions in front of Slughorn, even though she may have been working on gaining his respect all term," Regulus murmured.

The chuckle that escaped Remus was finally one of understanding. "Ah," he said through a smile. "I believe that is what we in the business call a rookie mistake."

Regulus sat up with a jerk, hands moving emotively as he made his case to his brother and brother-in-law, where they were sat on top of each other in a plush chair. "But I've apologised! Profusely, and several times! I don't know what else to do?" The last sentence was voiced as a question, though it was not formulated as one. Perhaps the closest the younger Black brother could get to asking for help.

"Maybe you should give Slughorn a speech about how great she is."

Regulus quirked up at that, eyes zeroing in on Sirius. "You really think that would work?" Remus could have burst out laughing at the lack of sarcasm in the younger boy's voice.

"No," Remus said softly, while chidingly patting Sirius' knee. "Don't listen to him, you lot have the same amount of people skills. Do you know your girlfriend, Regulus?"

"Yes?" Regulus' voice was uncertain, looking between the boys with furrowed brows.

"What usually motivates her to hold a grudge?" Remus prompted then, ever patient.

He was quiet for a minute as he thought. "When she feels wronged. Like when Evan apologised for her 'interpretaion' of what he said instead of for him hurting her feelings, and she disliked him for three years."

Remus nodded solemnly. "And is there a reason she might still feel wronged by you now?"

Regulus' gaze finally fixated on the cat across the room, nodding too as the puzzle pieces slowly assembled in his mind. "I apologised for correcting her... but not embarrassing her. She probably feels like I was lording over her or something."

"Meaning..?" Gods, Remus was really laying it on thick here. The curse of the Black family.

"I should go tell her as much." Regulus nodded and moved to hurry over towards you, swinging around at the last minute to give the two boys an almost-smile. "Uh, thanks Sirius. Remus."

Then he was off.

Sirius turned his face into Remus' cheek. "No idea what he's thanking me for; you did all the talking."

Remus sighed, melting further into his boyfriend. "That's what I've been saying."

Regulus tenderly approached you, sitting down somewhat gingerly in a chair beside the table you were currently parading around. "Hi, amour," he said softly. "Can we talk?"

You just wagged your tail in response, in a fashion Regulus has come to learn means displeasure.

"Please love, I want to give you a proper apology. It would be best to do so face-to-face, no?" He reached his hand out towards you, an open invitation. You stopped for a moment to regard him, but then lightly slapped at his hand to get it out of your face. Regulus decided to take it as a victory that your claws were retracted at the very least – you weren't out for blood.

“Okay,” he said through a breath. “I guess I’ll just… talk to a kitten and look crazy.” Upon your quiet hiss, he amended, “Talk to a cat, sorry. Gods, I’m sputtering today, aren’t I?” That final part you seemed to agree upon at least.

“Amour, I am truly deeply sorry for embarrassing you like that. It was such a little thing, and Slughorn has been so unfair towards you this year. I didn't mean to set you back in your progression with him, though frankly, he is in the wrong there, not you. As am I. For someone who feels like he can go around correcting people, that was quite air-headed of me, yeah? The one person keeping me grounded is you, amour, please would you come back to me? You can give me a proper scolding if you’d like, I can take it.”

Regulus was pouring his heart out, and if he dared to hope, he thought your feline face might have softened. You walked closer to him, seemingly studying his face.

Then, you jumped off the table and ran away.

He sighed heavily, letting his forehead fall down to the table with a light thump. If you were going to keep giving him the furred shoulder, he might just stay here. It was hard work being a tosser who’s missing his girlfriend.

Before he could wallow further in his sorrows, he felt a soft hand be placed on his shoulder. A touch he would recognise anywhere.

His head flew up from the table to look up at you – standing above him, smiling softly and somewhat sheepishly. The hand on his shoulder grew bolder, squeezing, while the other came up to cup the side of his face. Regulus ignored any instinct to cower away and instead happily melted into your touch.

“Hi, baby,” you whispered, and he knew he was mostly forgiven.

Emboldened by this new development, he turned in his seat so that his body faced you, slotting you in between his thighs and letting his hands come to rest heavily at the top of your hip. “Hi amour,” he breathed out, reverent. “Thank you.”

“For what?” you laughed, and he knew you knew what. He indulged you anyway.

“Coming back to me.” His voice was murmured, eyes hooded as he stared up at you. “I miss you when you remain as Whiskers, you know?”

“I do know,” you teased. “That’s kind of the whole point, yeah? Make you think.”

He shook his head and leaned his forehead tentatively against your stomach. “A cruel punishment, but an understandable one. I truly am sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Regulus sighed when your hand migrated to scratch through his hair. “I know, baby. I just wanted to hear you say it. And–” at this point he could hear the blush in your voice “– at some point it just became principle. Too late to back out.”

Laughing against the fabric of your shirt, he moved to rest his chin against you, gazing up at you at an angle that was slightly uncomfortable but definitely worth it. He let a small grin slip. “Stubborn minx,” he whispered.

“Oi!” you chided gently. “You’re in no position to levy such accusations, mister.”

“I can’t imagine loving you more,” he said through a sigh, not even thinking over the words. They were just right, and demanded to be brought up.

If the way your body melted against his was anything to go by, you didn’t mind.

A booming voice cut the moment short. “You two are painfully dramatic,” Sirius yelled from across the room, clearly having paid attention to the whole make-up conversation. “Please never fight again.”

“And that’s coming from Sirius Black,” Remus added solemnly, earning himself an indignant swat from his partner.

“He’s right,” Regulus whispered conspiratorially to you. “I cannot be the most dramatic Black brother, that would be blasphemy.”

“Then I suggest,” you said before giving him a light peck, “you be on your best behaviour from now on.

A grin. “Yes ma’am.”

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15

And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)

(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff

Words: 5.8K

TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3

September 2017

Azzi: just got home :) 

It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison. 

Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself. 

But then Azzi picks up on the second one.

And really it would be rude to hang up. 

“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen. 

“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”

“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”

“Yeah I’m hanging up-”

“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”

Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips. 

“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs. 

“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”

“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”

“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission. 

Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”

It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach. 

“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”

There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness. 

“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”

“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough. 

“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”

“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out. 

Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”

Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry. 

“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”

It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance. 

“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”

Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too. 

“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first. 

“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”

Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”

“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”

“Only hurts from carrying my team.”

“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”

“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”

Azzi huffs, “Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige hums. 

“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige. 

“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes. 

“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly,  scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)

“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”

And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige. 

“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence. 

There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind. 

“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”

“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”

“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts. 

“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”

“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it. 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”

“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”

“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.

“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”

For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”

“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”

And Azzi does. All night. 

Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box. 

To her royal highness, 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do. 

~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~

(And you better show up Bueckers)

Yours, 

Azzi

February 2033

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”

Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”

“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is. 

Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible. 

Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand. 

And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else. 

“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”

“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said. 

“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest  look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”

Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”

“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”

“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender. 

“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body. 

“Ice-” she begins.

But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”

“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum. 

“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips. 

“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”

“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself. 

“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters. 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK. 

“A matter of time till what?”

“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”

***

The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today.  From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her. 

“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”

Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments. 

“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all. 

The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance. 

“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”

“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm. 

Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”

“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”

“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.

“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple. 

“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”

“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this. 

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”

Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference. 

***

Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter. 

“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation. 

“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”

Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”

“Oliv-”

“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”

“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”

“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’

“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”

“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”

***

It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige. 

She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”

“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles. 

“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body. 

“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”

Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”

“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly. 

“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow. 

“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”

“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”

Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”

“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.

“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly. 

As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now. 

“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”

“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”

Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”

“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go,�� really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”

Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe. 

“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”

“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk. 

Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”

“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”

Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”

“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie. 

“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look 

“But Mama-”

“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”

“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”

“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”

“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”

With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out. 

“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch. 

Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”

“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”

“I have connections.”

“You talked to Ice.”

“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”

“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”

“I can’t talk to my friend?” Azzi asks slowly. 

“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses 

Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”

“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”

Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”

“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”

Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”

“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself. 

“What is?” 

“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”

There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold. 

Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.

“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her. 

“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”

“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple. 

“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.

“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”

“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people. 

“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone. 

Paige smiles, “of course you can.”

“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”

“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone. 

“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”

Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”

I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever. 

“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone. 

“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”

Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.

[claws-and-all]

Unpopular opinions

Today’s been one of those days where all my least favorite theories regarding Tamlin have been popping up, so I thought I’d share some of my unpopular opinions in case anyone else feels the same.

1. Tamlin should not get his own book

From all the male povs we've seen thus far, it's evident that sjm struggles to write male characters with complex feelings. They tend to lack depth, have the libido of a teenager, and the romance aspect is nonexistent. This coupled with the way she handled Nesta's "healing" journey (a character she supposedly loves) - suffice to say, she will not do justice to Tamlin's journey nor his inner monolog.

On top of that, we don't need a Chaol 2.0 book. The only people I've seen enjoy Chaol's book are the haters who became slightly lenient towards him. I feel like that book was not meant for the fans who actually loved Chaol from the get-go (like me). It was yet another "healing" journey that did not heal him 😒 (it's been 7 years since it's release and I'm still mad at it 🙈).

Also, just like Tam, Chaol is another character that is hated by 90% of the fandom. His book had the worst timing. In-between a high stakes book where you NEEDED to know what happened next and instead, you're forced to read a book that took you completely out of the action. It garnered more negativity towards a character that was already so heavily hated upon. It was such an unfair thing that occurred, and his fans were the ones that had to deal with the backlash of our favorite character being torn apart by the fandom. I truly hope history does not repeat itself with Tamlin. The fandom is waiting for the elriel/elucien confirmation, and I can just see the hate pouring in if it's a book about Tamlin instead. He deserves infinitely better!

2. Tamlin and Lucien should never be friends again

I'm sorry, I know a lot of you love Lucien, I'm rather 50/50 on him. If elucien happens, it will mean Lucien is now a part of the NC family, bil to Rhys, friendly with the ic, uncle to Nyx, already friends with Nesta and Feyre. That's not the kind of energy Tamlin needs in his life nor the constant reminder of everything that he lost (Rhys is doing a fabulous job of that already).

I liked Lucien and Tamlin's relationship in book 1, but I was not a fan of how he kind of abandoned Tamlin for Feyre. It's like he became more her friend than Tams as the series progressed. I think Tamlin deserves a better friend - someone who will have his back and not his partners back. And someone not so heavily intertwined with a court that has caused so much pain to him. I can almost see Lucien slowly trying to convince Tam that the nc guys are actually "the good guys". Who knows, maybe he'll also pull a Feyre and compare Springs food to ash since nothing can come close to precious NC food, you know.

That being said, I have no idea where such friends will come from because every character we've met thus far automatically dislikes Tamlin and are fans of nc guys (still waiting for the explanation as to why Jurian, Vassa, Eris, and even Nuan are Tam haters?? Make it make sense, Sarah!).

Alternatively, I do love angst. I would love a storyline of Tamlin moving on with his life without Lucien. As in his future wife/mate/partner doesn't even know who Lucien is. Whilst Elucien is also thriving in the human lands/NC/DC/AC. Yet the entire time, they both feel like there's a missing piece in their life. They would see each other at HL meetings or balls. Yet they're too stubborn to speak to each other. Until decades later when one of them finally breaks the ice. The yearning and the hurt, love that shit lol

3. Tamlin x Briar?

Let’s keep that in the dark where it belongs. - nuff said!

4. Elain should not even look in the direction of Spring

Just because she likes gardening doesn't mean she should be spring queen 😑 I'm sure she can follow in the footsteps of her sister and brother in law and trespass into Spring if she needs to see flowers in abundance. It is afterall, nc tradition to lecture Tamlin in his own court and kick him in the shins. I really don't want to see her becoming friends with Tamlin, helping him rebuild Spring, making it her second home, etc etc etc. Like the point above, she and Lucien have enough homes to go back to. They don't need an extra one in Spring. And Tamlin doesn't need any more nc "friends".

[thechy-fychannel]

oh my god LETS TALK ABOUT HOUSE PLEASE. i’ve just started watching it for the first time- and im halfway through season one. i’ve already spoiled myself for Wilson’s death, House x Cuddy, House x Cameron, and whatever that aussie has going on with that nine year old or something. i’ve also heard rumors of a character named thirteen?! i don’t want any more spoilers, i just want to know your opinions on who House is with throughout the show. though i haven’t seen any ‘love’ yet, i REALLY like House and Cameron- that Monster Truck episode really locked it in for me.

Hello and welcome!!! Ah season one, what a beautiful and lovely time that was. I am excited to hear your thoughts as you continue watching! Feel free to drop your thoughts and feelings into my ask box as you continue making your way through the show!

Okay so let's talk House's love interests throughout the show. I will do my best to avoid any major spoilers, but it's going to be a little hard to discuss without some spoilers. The main players in House's romantic life are:

Stacy

Cuddy

Cameron

Dominika

And Wilson if you choose to live in the land of delusion (it's a beautiful place, really. 10/10 would suggest living here. I often forget it's not canon.)

So let's start in chronological order since you haven't seen the whole show through yet. Personally, I am not a huge fan of House/Cameron. I think there is definitely something deep and real between them and I think there will always be love between them, but I'm just not a huge fan of the idea of them actually having a real relationship together. I think I've talked about this in a different post too, but I think Cameron was in love with the idea of who she wanted House to be rather than who he actually was. Romantically, they never ever would've worked. With that said, I LOVE their relationship outside of a romantic sense. I think they have a weakness with each other that is very interesting, especially House's weakness towards her. He gets very pathetic about Cameron several different times throughout the show and each time is really interesting and fun and pathetic in their own ways. I won't go too much into what happens in season 6 since you don't want spoilers, but once you get to that point, I'd love to get more into the way she feels about House and Chase at that time. Overall, I dislike their relationship in seasons 1-3, but I LOVE their relationship in seasons 4-6.

Now onto Stacy. Since you're in mid season 1, you haven't met her yet, she joins the show at the end of season 1 and is only there for a little while. Stacy is his ex-girlfriend that left him after his leg injury happened and she is a HUGE HUGE HUGE piece of who House is as a person. My heart breaks every time I think about House/Stacy (I've made several posts about their relationship and this very topic) because they really truly loved each other so much. House loved her more than probably anyone else other than Wilson. I mean he really, truly loved that woman and it affects him down to his core. In my dreams, they were able to make things work and lived happily ever after. A lot of people dislike Stacy and I will let you come to your own opinions about her, but I will say that she's one of my favorites and I wish she had been on the show longer even if her and House weren't together. I think had she been around for the events of the season 2 finale, season 3 would've gone wayyy differently.

So you've already spoiled yourself for his relationship with Cuddy, which means I don't have to hold anything back (I hope). His relationship with Cuddy is another one that breaks my heart and makes me SO damn frustrated. Their slow burn throughout the first 6 seasons is brilliantly written and so so sexy. The fact that their relationship only lasted 15 episodes before it crashed and burn is imo, the writers' biggest mistake. I feel like there are a million things they could've given us before it all fell apart and it would've made the season 7 finale just a little bit more understandable. I personally hate the way season 7 ended, but I understand they had to do something crazy to write Lisa Edelstein off the show. I feel like there were other ways they could've done it that didn't feel like jumping the shark. House was again, really truly completely in love with Cuddy and even though he was hurt, heartbroken, and on a bender, I don't think his character leading up to the end of season 7 would've done anything to put Cuddy and Rachel in that kind of danger. They justify it in season 8 by House saying he knew he wasn't going to hurt anyone, but still. Obviously he was going to do something stupid, but something that could've hurt Cuddy and baby Rachel just never sat right with me (plus he hurt Wilson at the same time and that is REALLY just crazy out of character to me. He may wack Wilson with his cane or laugh when he trips and falls, but he never would've nearly ran him over just to hurt someone else. That is not the Greg House they set up in the 7 seasons leading up to that.) In a perfect world, House would've went to Wilson for help instead of relapsing and Wilson would've dragged House to Cuddy's bedside and they would've dealt with it scared and sober and come out of it stronger than ever after.

Now onto Dominika! You will meet her in season 7 after House and Cuddy break up. I can't get too much into their relationship without spoiling most of it for you, but I will say that I have mixed feelings about their relationship. I think it was cute and if House hadn't been so broken, there's a chance they could've had something real together. I think Dominika was super cute and fun and it was nice to see House be with someone who accepted House for all the bad parts about him. She liked him and he began to really like her and that scared him. Ultimately, their relationship was just a reaction to his breakup with Cuddy and he was far too in love with Cuddy to have ever made it work. But there is a scene where Dominika has a monologue about what a good and caring person House really is on the inside and it's such a sweet moment. If only others saw House the way she did... Their relationship was cute, but falls at the bottom of my list because it was just too soon after Cuddy imo. Again, maybe if there had been more time to build on it, I would've liked it more. But between everything we saw before their relationship and everything that was going on in season 8, their relationship kind of got lost in it all to me.

And now of course, ✨ Wilson ✨

Wilson is House's soulmate, his end game, his past, present, and future. In my heart of hearts, they are still alive and well, living in a bungalow near the beach and being mean old gays until the end of their days. There is no relationship in the show that compares to them and ultimately, everything comes back to Wilson in the end. I cannot get into it without spoiling it all for you, but every season, no, every episode shows us that House loves Wilson more than anyone else. Wilson defies all else in his life and is the thing that keeps him going when nothing else does. The show starts with them and ends with them and the entire show, ultimately, was about them.

I hope you liked my breakdown of his relationships and I didn't spoil anything for you! I'm happy to get more into any of their relationships and share my opinions. I love any opportunity to ramble about this show!! Thank you for sending this ask and letting me ramble! I'm excited for you to meet Thirteen, she's WONDERFUL!!!!

[bomikalover]

Did my yearly rewatch of Austin and Ally (all 4 seasons) and now I’m hyper fixated on it. So I decided to yap my head off on here so if you don’t care for anything A&A specific then just scroll and enjoy my other posts or edits of the stuff you do like 🫶🏾

Anywaysss, why I’m here.

AUSTIN AND ALLY’S PARENTS ARENT GOOD PARENTS!!

There i said it.

The only one I give slack is Ally’s mom as she mostly lives in Africa for work (I think?? I kinda black out the parents storyline since I’m here for any else but the parents) plus she wrote a book and when she was in Miami with Ally she spent all her time WITH HER DAUGHTER. She gave advice, presents, and even gave her an opportunity to sing at her event which was the event she overcame her greatest fear. She was polite and sweet to all the kids, put effort to talking to them, and getting to known them. We’ve seen her for maybe 2-3 episodes TOPS in the whole show but I never disliked her. Do I think she could have had a talk with her ex-husband and made him work at his own business?? Yes but they spilt for a reason and maybe she was just already mentally clocked out of anything dealing with him…cuz I know I am.

Her dad on the other hand I majorly dislike. He opened a business just to leave in the hands of his only daughter between ages 14-18 while she was already occupied with school and then her career as an artist. Plus she had friends and a young life that she wanted to live. Fortunately Ally was lucky her 3 friends stuck around all day in Sonic Boom helping out and hanging there instead of completely leaving Ally out since she was constantly busy with work.

He was also extremely cheap. Like being cheap with urself is fine but with ur daughter is a whole nother thing. Like when he gave her emergency funds for when she went to go on tour with Austin and she actually needed it as she was stranded in an unknown state. Just to find out that her dad only gave her $6 and an expired coupon. She once again was on her own and performed for her own well-being.

And he was also unsupportive of Ally sometimes. Like in the first episode when he said that she had one in a billion chance of making it into the music industry. (Austin’s dad said that as well, but we’ll get to him later) WHAT?! Is it so hard to be supportive of ur daughter. (He does support her in future episodes but for me it’s says a lot that the first impression we get of her father is that he’s unsupportive and only wants her to run the family store)

Speaking of no support and forcing their child to follow their footsteps…Mike and Mimi Moon.

They also came out the bat being unsupportive but seemed to care enough to not force Austin to work at the Mattress Kingdom. But they heavily offered the job every time something went slightly off course with Austin’s Career. (Him getting vocal nodes or when he chose loving Ally over his career that he’s been passionately working on for years)

Both of A&A’s parents were just letting their kids travel by themselves or go on tour by themselves. (It’s EXTREMELY common for parents to be MIA in kids tv but these rubbed me the wrong way) like we rarely saw Mr.Dawson at Ally’s performances Vice versa with Austin and his parents. It took Austin having to go the doctors or Ally moving away super far to accomplish her goals to get their attention.

I’m not surprised Auslly has such a strong unbreakable bond when they’re two only children with neglectful parents who are unsupportive of their dreams. They have no one to relate to and share the passion with beside each other. They both have best friends that have been in their lives YEARS before each other yet Auslly talk of each other as if that’s all they have is each other. (Side note: the way Auslly write their songs make me question how much stuff they truly went through together. Like “You can come to me” lyrics are so sweet and intimate but also so deep but it’s extremely evident that they are singing these lyrics to each other and only each other. Like they surpassed hurdles that Dez and Trish weren’t there to surpass with them. I wonder how much of Auslly we haven’t seen and will never see.)

Dez and Trish aren’t only children like Austin & Ally. Dez has a (older?) sister and Trish has a little brother. Both their families seemed extremely happy, loving, and outwardly supportive of them…I can’t say the same for Austin and Ally.

I could go on and on about this topic alone but I’ll spare your eyes from all the reading and stop yapping. But I’ll gladly talk about all my other thoughts about certain A&A things. Like the Auslly dynamic in a whole, why Austin’s passion for music is so strong, or even why Trish can’t keep a job.

But that’s a yapper-sation for another time.

[celaenaeiln]

is the dickbabs romantic relationship always as bad as in Tom Taylor’s run or is it actually enjoyable in other runs? i want to read more of dick’s og nightwing run but ik dickbabs is a recurring thing and i strongly dislike what i’ve seen of it in modern comics (absolutely no offense to anyone who ships it!!)

also sort of related, but have dick and babs really been BFFs since grade school or is that new canon? i remember the initial new 52 run referencing him and babs as on and off but nothing about being childhood besties.

finally- what would you consider to be key dick grayson runs?

Surprisingly Dickbabs is pretty nice to read in other runs. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who hates Dickbabs as a ship but really it's only bad like 85% of the time and the majority of that is because of the Batgirl comics. Batgirl comics treat Dick like shit and it's a losing tossup whether he's treated well in Oracle related comics.

But to get to your point, Dickbabs in Nightwing (1996) was originally pretty good. Tom Taylor's run of Nightwing is the weird one because in every other run you have Dick + relationships whereas in Taylor's you have relationships + Dick. That being said, I highly, highly recommend reading the og one. At one point it does get toxic but Barbara leaves almost immediately after that and aside from that the ship was pretty nice for the most part.

Dick and Barbara have NOT been BFFS since childhood or whatever and this gets on my nerves that Tom Taylor and Hope Larson did that. This is one of the problems I have with the Dickbabs ship. Writers who write them love changing the story to erase Dick's friendships with the Titans. They literally love to pretend Wally, Donna, Roy, and Garth don't exist. BARBARA IS NOT HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND!! They literally keep deaging her and for what?? First she was like two decades older than him, then she's five years older than him, and now she's the same age?? Just let her be older! Barbara being the same age as Dick makes no sense because it takes away her maturity to turn her into this childish, selfish character she has no business being. She's not even enjoyable when she's deaged this far. I'm still on the she's 5 to 6 years older than Dick canon timeline and there is no way she was childhood besties with him.

The way I picture Dick and Barbara's relationship is this:

DC should've just let it at this, this was peak Dick and Barbara relationship.

Very narrow starting out list but some must read Dick Grayson runs are:

Nightwing (1996) - If you don't feel like reading anything else just read this

Nightwing (2016) - Really good up until Tom Taylor's run

Batman: Gotham Knights - pretty good and lots of cute Tim and Dick!

Titans (1999) - This is a must read if you're not interested in the original Teen Titans comics

Outsiders (2003) - Love him so much in this

JLA/Titans - Important for understanding his relationships with Titans and Batman

Nightwing (2011)

Justice League (2011) Issue #25 and Forever Evil - Same arc

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding: Nightwing vs. Hush

Robin era

Batman - One Bad Day: Mr. Freeze - If you want to skip the medal ages but still want to know what Dick was like as Robin, this comic is all you need to understand his character and personality and beliefs.

Batman Chronicles: The Gauntlet - Dick's gauntlet test!

Robin: Year One - For fun :)

Dick!Bats era

Batman: Battle for the Cowl - To get into Dick's batman

Batman (1940) Issues #682 to #713 - Batman Dick. Incredible. Dick was such a good batman and so fun to read.

Batman and Robin (2009) - Dick and Dami!

Batman: Streets of Gotham - Also Dick and Dami <3

Justice League of America (2006) Issues #41 to #60- Dick leading his own JLA team as Batman! SO FUN!!

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #864 to #881 - Honestly Batman Dick was so good I can't tell if I like Dick more as Nightwing or Batman. Obviously it's better for his mental health if he's nightwing but he just did such a great job as Batman.

Spy era

Grayson - YESSSS. Just everything about this.

Batman and Robin Eternal - It was really good up until near the end but then it got better again

Dark Crisis - Definitely, without a doubt, no question

Additional: The ones above are focused on him but if you finish reading this then Tim's Robin (1993) Comic is a fantastic one. He doesn't appear in every single issue but he appears a lot and it's a lot of Dick and Tim characterization. Also Teen Titans (2003) for more Dick and Titans relationships.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 5

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Meetings of this kind could take months to arrange; the speed at which it happened now was dizzying, if you did not know Laurent.

i like how damen has immediately fallen back into his book 1 & early book 2 habit of giving laurent backhanded compliments

He sat on the audience throne, with a single oak seat empty beside him and Nikandros standing behind him.

you know, damen, i can think of someone who has recent experience with oak chairs…

When prince met prince there were protocols to observe. You did not greet each other alone in a diaphanous tent. Or thrown to the ground in chains in a palace viewing chamber.

and yet, given the choice between protocol and hanging out with laurent in a tent… i think damen is seriously struggling with which he would truly prefer. if not already decided, in his heart

The last time Akielon and Veretian royalty had met ceremonially had been six years ago, at Marlas, when the Regent had surrendered to Damen’s father, King Theomedes. Out of respect to the Veretians, Damen had not been present, but he remembered the satisfaction of knowing that Veretian royalty was bending its knee to his father. He had liked it. He had probably liked it, he thought, about as much as his men disliked what was happening today, and for the same reasons.

“he had liked it.” ouch. but also showing the subjectivity of damen and laurent’s shared history

It was not like the ecstatic entries Laurent had made into the towns and villages of Vere. No one swooned or cheered or threw flowers at his feet. The camp was silent.

Laurent strolled in, beautifully;

He came down the path that was cleared for him, as though walking unmolested through an Akielon camp was simply his right.

because it is, because he made it so 💅

Damen’s own men watched as a man might watch his enemy sauntering into his house, unable to prevent it.

“sauntering” perfect word choice

‘My brother of Akielos,’ said Laurent.

i know the “brother” thing is part of the “language of kings,” but it’s extra awkward between laurent and damen because 1) damen killed laurent’s actual brother and 2) they’ve literally fucked

Everyone knew that in the Akielon language, princes of foreign nations addressed each other in the fraternal.

and everyone also knows that damen killed laurent’s brother, and that damen and laurent fucked, so it’s weird for them too!

‘Our brother of Vere,’ said Damen.

oooh, damianos has to use the royal “we” since he’s king, further removing himself from his individual identity as damen. part of the kingship/“kingdom or this” theme, which we’re seeing a lot in book 3, for obvious reasons

He recognised Guion, the Regent’s most loyal Councillor, who, sometime in the last three days, had switched sides.

don’t worry about it

Damen lifted his hand, offering it palm up, with fingers outstretched. Laurent lifted his own hand calmly, resting it atop Damen’s. Their fingers met. He could feel the eyes of every Akielon in the tent on him. They proceeded slowly. Laurent’s fingers rested infinitesimally above his own. He felt the moment when the men around him realised what was going to happen. Reaching the dais, they sat, facing outward, the twin oak seats now twin thrones.

of course they had to make this announcement in the most dramatic, shocking, and tense manner possible. like idk, someone could have explained the alliance with words first, just to make sure everyone’s on the same page when the two leaders sit down beside each other. i get that this wordless performance might simply be the appropriate protocol, but damen and laurent still somehow manage to make it feel inappropriate for the occasion.

‘We have called you here today to witness our accord,’ said Damen, in a clear voice that carried over the noise.

i think i read somewhere that pacat compared this scene to a wedding, and that would totally make sense, both with the way its written and the way damen and laurent are allergic to conventional romance story plot beats. like yeah, this WOULD be their wedding, wouldn’t it.

‘Today we mark the alliance of our nations against those pretenders and usurpers who seek to assail our thrones.’

same energy as suspended twitter user donald j trump saying “i would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, september 11th.”

Laurent settled in as though the place had been made for him, and adopted the posture he typically favoured, one leg straight out before him, a fine-boned wrist balanced on the arm of the throne.

cunt (affectionate)

Explosions of outrage, furious exclamations, there were hands on the hilts of swords. Laurent did not look particularly concerned by this, or anything.

Coiled and personal, Laurent’s gift was a Veretian whip, made of gold.

i remember reading this for the first time and saying “GIRLLLL” out loud to my cat

He remembered Laurent’s hand giving a little tug on the rod, infuriating, more than that. He remembered having his legs kicked apart, his hands bound, the thick wood of the post against his chest, the lash about to fall on his back. He remembered Laurent, arranging himself against the opposite wall, settling his shoulders there, positioning himself to watch every slightest expression on Damen’s face. His gaze swung to Laurent. He knew he had flushed, he could feel the heat in his own cheeks. In front of the gathered generals, he couldn’t say, What have you done?

there is a strategic advantage to this move on laurent’s part (to be revealed in a minute), but it’s also just him being a petty bitch and trying to make damen flustered/triggered on the throne

Inside the tent, Akielon men and women were looking at one another questioningly, others craning their necks to see.

and actually, this gesture from laurent also tells damen something else: “you thought i was evil for flogging you, my brother’s killer? then refuse my offer for revenge against men who murdered your people, in front of your bloodthirsty nation who want to see it happen. where’s your moral high ground now, bitch.”

‘The whip and the men are Vere’s gift to Akielos,’ said Laurent, and then he turned his melting blue eyes on Damen. ‘The first fifty lashes are my gift to you.’

wouldn’t be the first time laurent gifted damen laurent lashes out of spite. which i’m sure laurent is very smug about, saying this now.

He couldn’t have stopped it, even if he had wanted to.

i do think some of laurent’s revenge here is putting damen in the same powerful/powerless position he (laurent) had been in for seven years in arles. just because laurent was a prince, doesn’t mean he wasn’t a captive too. ultimately, it was laurent's innate responsibility to his people, felt as a prince, that kept him from just leaving entirely. but in order to stay and survive, he had to play dirty and adapt with his uncle's depraved court.

now a king, damen finds himself similarly bound to his duties, in a time of war without the support of his father. and laurent gets some kind of satisfaction in reminding damen of this fall from grace by forcing him to endure the depravity of his own court.

A part of Damen’s mind recognised how perfectly this gift had been judged, the exquisite virtuosity of it: Laurent was delivering him a backhanded blow with one hand, and with the other, caressing his generals as a man scratches a dog under the chin.

isander foreshadowing. the ethical implications of that entire thing are going to be soooo tricky to unpack when i get to it

Damen heard himself say, ‘Vere is generous.’ ‘After all,’ Laurent held his gaze, ‘I remember what you like.’ The stripped men were tied down.

jesus FUCKING christ.

okay. here’s the thing. there’s literally no plausible interpretation of “i remember what you like” that makes this diplomatic or professional. the contrast of damen being so careful and disciplined with his language, and laurent just shooting out these insanely personal disses like it’s no big deal, is SOOOOOOO…

like. what the fuck is the audience thinking when they hear that line. it would be like watching a broadcast of two real-life world leaders doing a diplomatic ceremony, and one of them is like "i look forward to our partnership" and the other goes, at full volume and in the same exact tone of voice, "i know. you told me that last night."

Damen felt his pulse speed up as he realised he was going to watch Laurent have ten men flayed alive in front of him.

although i do seem to recall damen saying to himself back in like book 2 that he’d seen plenty of akielion soldiers flayed (flogged? is it the same thing?) as punished, and even commanded it once or twice, so…

‘Furthermore,’ said Laurent, his voice pitched to carry, ‘Fortaine’s bounty is yours. Its physicians will tend to your wounded. Its storehouses will feed your men. The Akielon victory at Charcy was hard-won. All that Vere gained while you fought is yours, and it is deserved. I will not profit from any hardship that befalls the rightful King of Akielos or his people.’

laurent is so smart. he knows how to work a crowd, even when it’s full of people who despise him. and he’s not even breaking a sweat.

You will lose Straton. You will lose Makedon, Nikandros had said, but he hadn’t counted on the fact that Laurent would arrive, and begin, dangerously, to control everything.

Bloody and pulped, the men, who were no longer men, were cut from the whipping blocks. That took time too, because more than one handler was needed to lift each man, and no one was quite certain which of the men were unconscious and which were dead.

you know, maybe no one should flay or flog anyone else. like, as a general rule. have we thought of that?

Damen said, ‘We have a personal gift too.’

the return of the antagonistic lamen “yes, and!” one of the few things from book 1 i truly miss

(also, i’m glad damen didn’t come into this tableau full intending to be professional and respectful. like he planned some petty freak shit too, in advance. he is still ant with a bindle, but he has his pride. he’s always had pride, even as a slave, especially as a slave. and if damen can’t have laurent as a lover or a friend, he can at least “enjoy” engaging in weird mind games with him instead. in a way, it’s kind of enrichment for them both.)

Last night, in the evening darkness of the tent, he had pulled this gift from his packs and looked down at it, feeling its weight in his hands. Once or twice before, he had thought about this moment. In his most private thoughts, he’d imagined it happening with the two of them alone together.

okay, never mind, i massively overestimated the spiteful pettiness from damen here :( he wanted to do this in another way, lovingly and privately. he's only doing it here and now because he has to, in order to earn his army's respect. ant with a bindle, through and through.

it’s okay buddy, you can marry laurent again post-canon. and then you won’t even be figuratively divorced while doing it!

He hadn’t imagined it like this, the private made public, and painful. He didn’t have Laurent’s ability to hurt with what mattered most.

and that's why this series works. see my long essay about damen as the heart of the series in chapter 4.

‘Every man here knows that you kept us as a slave,’ said Damen. He said it loudly enough that all those gathered in the pavilion tent could hear. ‘We wear your cuff on our wrist. But today, the Prince of Vere will prove himself our equal.’

THE ROYAL “WE” 💀 💀 💀

you know, technically it was kastor, an akielion, who made damen a slave and gave him specifically to laurent. they didn’t even have slaves in vere before akielos gifted them one. just sayin

He gestured and one of his squires came forward. It was still wrapped in cloth. He felt the sudden tension in Laurent, though there was no outward change. Damen said, ‘You asked for it, once.’ The squire drew back the cloth to reveal a gold cuff. He felt rather than saw the tightness in Laurent. The cuff, unmistakably, was the twin to the one Damen wore, altered last night by a blacksmith for Laurent’s finer wrist. Damen said, ‘Wear it for me.’ For a moment he thought Laurent wasn’t going to do it. But in public, Laurent had no recourse to refusal. Laurent extended his hand. And then waited, palm outstretched, his eyes lifting to meet Damen’s. Laurent said, ‘Put it on me.’

the fact that this isn’t even damen being mean, but just painfully earnest and hurt and yearning, clearly not what laurent expected at all… :( damen is refusing to play dirty, no matter how hard laurent goads him. and he doesn’t even want to hurt laurent, in fact he almost seems to long for him. that’s probably what surprises and confuses this self-loathing mean girl era laurent the most. he keeps trying (and succeeding) to push damen away, but damen still refuses to push back.

also, lamen hr complaint #7, made by everyone present besides damen and laurent. nothing specific, but just a vague feeling of "uh, was it professional to make us watch and participate in this?" after the fact

Every pair of eyes in the tent was on him. Damen took Laurent’s wrist in his hand. He would have to unlace the fabric and push the sleeve back. He could feel the devouring gazes of the Akielons in the tent, as hungry for this as they had been for the whipping. Rumours of Damen’s enslavement in Vere had spread like fire through the camp. To see the Veretian Prince wear the gold cuff of a palace bed slave in turn was shocking, intimate, a symbol of Damen’s ownership.

i love how these books manage to make things unbelievably hot, even when they have nothing to do with sex. they might as well be fucking right now and it would feel less intimate and personal. which actually might be the entire point of the veretian pets and akielion slaves being so horny on main all the time, to serve as a contrast to the deep eroticism of this.

Laurent’s blue eyes remained cool, but under Damen’s thumb, Laurent’s pulse was rabbit fast.

laurent came here expecting to control a crowd, not to be emotionally compromised and vulnerable in front of one. and he’s probably even more flustered/upset about the fact that damen was able to make him feel and react like this so publicly, without even appearing to have malicious or vindictive intent. what laurent serves as poison, is what damen serves him back as medicine. and while laurent can handle an angry crowd just fine, he has no means with which to defend himself from damen’s endearing love and care.

He pushed back the fabric. It was more bare skin than Laurent had ever shown in public, on display to the entire tent.

“you look like a whore” <3

another accidental damen reverse card, calling back to the way damen was publicly exposed in book 1. not even meant to hurt laurent but still probably landing like revenge.

‘Help me regain my kingdom, and I’ll see you King of Vere.’ Damen fitted the cuff to Laurent’s left wrist.

his teeny tiny little wrist…

‘I’m overjoyed to wear a gift that reminds me of you,’ said Laurent.

he may be flustered, but he’s still That Bitch.

The cuff locked into place. He didn’t withdraw his wrist, just left it leaned on the arm of the throne, laces open and gold cuff in full view.

it’s like they have those matching t shirts that say “i’m hers” and “i’m his,” except damen’s would say “i’m his” and laurent’s would say “i’m terrified of attachment” and then “i’m his” in significantly smaller text

Horns were blown the length of the ranks, and refreshments were brought. All that had to happen now was for Damen to endure the rest of the welcoming ceremony, and at the end, sign their treaty.

damen and laurent just invented divorced marriage! truly trailblazers of their time

A series of display fights were performed, marking the occasion with disciplined choreography. Laurent watched with polite attention, and underneath that, possibly real attention, as it would suit him to catalogue Akielon fighting techniques.

they should have a homoerotic fight sequence instead of a first dance

Across from Makedon, Vannes was taking refreshments. Vannes had been the Regent’s Ambassador to the all-female court of the Vaskian Empress, who it was said ripped men apart with her leopards for public sport.

VANNES HIIIIIII VANNES!!!!! THE GIRLS ARE HEREEEEEEE!!!!!!

(can you tell that i'm getting tired of the almost entirely male cast)

He thought of the delicate dealings with the Vaskian clans that Laurent had engineered, all along their ride south. He said, ‘Are you going to tell me what won Vannes to your side?’ Laurent said, ‘It’s no secret. She is to be the first member of my Council.’

laurent feminism win. any person of any gender can be politically valuable.

(i have more complex thoughts on women in this series, which i’ve written about before. i do think laurent feels a genuine sense of solidarity with most women in this series, specifically the disempowered ones like loyse and the sex workers at the brothel. but vannes is a special case, because she’s cruel and sadistic just like the men in power, so i don’t think laurent promising her a place in his council has anything more to do with her gender than the fact that the misogynistic regent wouldn’t do the same.)

‘And Guion?’ ‘I threatened his sons. He took it seriously. I had already killed one of them.’

“i had already killed one of them.”

laurent says this flippantly, but it's kind of freudian slip. laurent admits here that he sees himself as directly responsible for aimeric’s suicide. which is… a very laurent thing to think, and then to weaponize against himself inside his own head. i think a big part of the reason laurent is able to take insults so carelessly, and even insult himself as a deflection, is that he knows that nobody knows him better than himself, and that he’s thought worse things of himself than anyone else possibly could.

‘If this is truly an alliance between equals,’ said Makedon, ‘it’s a pity we can’t see a display of Veretian fighting.’ You are seeing one right now and you don’t even know it, thought Damen.

wait the first dance thing was a joke, but maybe i just vaguely recalled it actually happening??

also, love that thought from damen. perfect read of the scene, although i think people are probably a little more aware of their freakiness than damen seems to assume.

‘Or a contest,’ Makedon said. ‘Veretian against Akielon.’ ‘Are you proposing to challenge Lady Vannes to a duel?’ said Laurent.

kind of a desperate thing for laurent to say. a weak snarky deflection, basically admitting that he does not want to fight damen in front of everyone right now.

Blue eyes met brown. Laurent was relaxed on the throne, and Damen was too aware of what Makedon saw: a youth, less than half his age; a princeling who shirked battle; a courtier with lazy, indoor elegance.

despite appearances, damen knows that laurent is an excellent fighter and a suitable match for himself. again with the backhanded compliment!!

‘But we are like brothers.’ Laurent smiled. Damen felt Laurent’s fingertips touch his; their fingers slid into one another.

“alive brothers, to be precise. not that i’d know anything about having one of those, right, husband?”

side note, i 100% see post-canon laurent calling damen “husband” just as much as his actual name. it’s the perfect mix of condescending, performative, affectionate, and possessive. between them it would almost feel like an inside joke, which we all know damen and laurent enjoy. perfect.

He knew from long experience when Laurent was repressing everything into a single hard kernel of distaste.

for a second i was like, “why is laurent so against this, when he’s a good fighter?” but then i remembered that he got fucking stabbed in the shoulder like two days ago

Heralds brought the document, ink on paper, written in two languages, side by side so that neither one was atop the other. It was simply worded. It did not contain endless clauses and subclauses. It was a brief declaration: Vere and Akielos, united against their usurpers, allied in friendship and common cause.

not the marriage certificate…

He signed it. Laurent signed it. Damianos V and Laurent R, with a big loopy L.

oh of COURSE laurent makes a big loopy L, and of course damen makes specific note of it.

also, help. what the fuck do the letters stand for. they don’t have last names. i thought “V” could be like a roman numeral or something, but what the fuck is “R.” i know i could look this up and probably figure it out on my own, and so i will momentarily, but i did just want to say here that i’m stumped.

okay, got it. apparently R stands for “roi,” the french word for king, and v stands for “vasileus,” the greek word for king. fair enough!

‘To our wondrous union,’ said Laurent.

CUNT

And the Akielons were filing out too, the officers and the generals, the dismissed slaves, until he was alone with Nikandros, whose eyes were on him, furious, and with all the flat knowledge of an old friend.

nik private twitter vent #9, he livetweeted the lamen divorce wedding. also, a note on the nik private twitter bit: damen follows him, and is just happy that nik has a space to express himself :)

‘You gave him Delpha,’ said Nikandros. ‘It wasn’t—’ ‘A bedding gift?’ said Nikandros. ‘You go too far.’

to be fair, laurent would totally be down to negotiate land ownership with weird sex games

‘Do I? I remember Ianestra. And Ianora,’ said Nikandros. ‘And Eunides’s daughter. And Kyra the girl from the village—’

HE HAS A LIST.

‘That’s enough. I won’t talk about this.’

nikandros: why does the prince of vere call you babygirl damen: that’s enough. i won’t talk about this

‘You don’t need to talk, I have seen him,’ said Nikandros. ‘I don’t care what you’ve seen. It’s not what you think.’

nikandros saw that laurent was blonde and immediately heard the vine boom sound effect

‘I think he is beautiful and unobtainable, when your whole life, you’ve never had a refusal,’ said Nikandros.

not wrong, but not right either. damen genuinely loves and respects laurent, like as person and not just as a fuck. and pretty much anyone damen has wanted to have sex with in life has immediately agreed, because he’s a prince. being disinterested in sex without deep personal connection, and being a prince himself, laurent is different from damen's previous partners. he's less unobtainable, and more just, like, evenly-matched.

‘You have committed Akielos to an alliance because the Prince of Vere has blue eyes and blond hair.’

… multiple things can be true. those aren’t the only reasons.

damen likes blondes #9

And then, in a terrible voice, ‘How many times does Akielos have to suffer because you can’t keep your—’

nik private twitter vent #10:

Damen was angry, he wanted to smash the glass beneath his fingers. To let the pain of the glass cut into him.

having a “hurt” by nine inch nails moment. a “no children” by the mountain goats moment. yeah, i should make the lamen divorce playlists

‘Do you think—for a moment that I’d . . . Nothing,’ he said, ‘is more important to me than Akielos.’

i don’t want to be neglectful of the “kingdom or this” theme, because it does come up a lot. it’s just that, at this point, i don’t have much to add.

‘He is the Prince of Vere! He doesn’t care about Akielos! Are you saying you aren’t swayed by the thought of having him? Open your eyes, Damianos!’

nikandros, the slave sex user, should shut the fuck up about damen yearning for his “unobtainable” equal. damen isn’t the only one here with a blind spot.

‘You want him. It’s natural. He looks like one of the statues Nereus has in his garden, and he’s a prince of your own rank. He dislikes you, but dislike can have its own appeal,’ said Nikandros. ‘So bed him. Satisfy your curiosity. Then, when you have seen that mounting one blond is much like mounting another, move on.’

this is fucking infuriating. laurent is so much more than his pretty appearance, and a lot of his insecurity and problems with vulnerability revolve around the way people view him as a sexual object. his relationship with damen was founded on mutual respect and personal understanding. and damen knows this, and i’m sure he’s infuriated too. looking forward to his response.

The silence went on a moment too long.

looking forward to his response.

He had no intention of putting any of it in words. I told him I was a slave, and he pretended to believe me. I kissed him on the battlements. He had his servants bring me to his bed. It was our last night together, and he gave himself to me. He knew all the while it happened that I was the man who killed his brother.

right, damen is still confused by laurent more than anything else at this point. he doesn’t know where either of them stand. the only thing he recalls here is a sense of disorientation, trying to align what he’s learned about laurent’s internal workings with the way he’d interacted with damen physically and emotionally. and the puzzle pieces don’t fit, so he doesn’t want to think or talk about it. and he doesn’t really blame nikandros for his confusion or crass description of laurent, because damen still doesn’t understand how laurent could have even allowed any of the sexual things between them to happen in the first place.

also, unfortunately, i think we can gather from the way nikandros speaks here that damen has spoken this way about partners in the past. and that’s probably part of why it doesn’t bother him as viscerally as it bothers me.

‘Yes I lay with him,’ said Damen. ‘It was one night. He barely relaxed the whole time. I will admit I—wanted him.

and this probably isn’t how damen is used to talking about sexual partners, so it comes out awkward and insecure and weirdly earnest. better than being a douchebag, so i’m calling it character development.

'But he is the Prince of Vere and I am the King of Akielos. This is a political alliance. He approaches it without emotion. So do I.’

ngl this is frustrating, esp when i’m reading so slowly and taking notes… not a problem with the writing at all, but just 😬 😬 😬 how many times do i have to point out that these two men are emotionally unintelligent and needlessly evasive before they figure out their shit, put down their defenses, and talk to each other

‘It’s not the same.’ ‘Laurent is not Jokaste?’

😬 😬 😬

i am trying not to waste too much of my time with this scene but he’s wrong, we all know nik is wrong by implying they’re the same because we know laurent better than nik does etc etc etc oh my god this is exactly why there’s a trial scene at the end and damen gets to be laurent’s defense attorney isn’t it

‘I do. I know,’ said Damen, ‘who he is, and that it means I cannot have him.’

you’re literally a king, if anyone is qualified to CHANGE THAT it’s you

‘No. Listen Damianos. You trust blindly. You see the world in absolutes—if you believe someone a foe, nothing will dissuade you from arming up to fight. But when you give your affections . . . When you give a man your loyalty, your faith in him is unswerving. You would fight for him with your last breath, you would hear no word spoken against him, and you would go to the grave with his spear in your side.’

this is true, at least. nik knows damianos well, he just doesn’t know laurent or our damen. but as i myself have commented, damianos and damen are ultimately both the same guy, even though he’s evolved throughout the series.

‘And are you so different?’ said Damen. ‘I know what it means that you are riding with me. I know that if I am wrong you will lose everything.’

“i will fight for him just as you fight for me, so i suppose that makes us both noble fools.”

He said, ‘The Prince of Vere.’ When he looked at Damen again, it was a sidelong glance under his raised brows, and for a moment they were boys again, on the sawdust, throwing spears that fell six feet short of the men’s hide targets.

“i can’t believe you hit that.”

‘Can you imagine,’ said Nikandros, ‘what your father would say if he knew?’

this feels more playful than the previous conversation, a bit lighter. both an admonishment and like a “ooooooh you’re so baaaaad >:)”

‘Yes,’ said Damen. ‘Which girl from the village was called Kyra?’ ‘They all were. Damianos. You can’t trust him.’

having a hard time reading this. my best interpretation: damen’s question is a reference to the chillest part of the previous conversation, nik’s list, in order to un-harsh the vibe. poking fun at nik for keeping a list, and poking fun at himself for having a type.

nik’s response is still pretty unchill, implying that all the people on that list are interchangeable and harmless. unlike laurent, who damen needs to get over because he’s untrustworthy and dangerous, despite also being pretty and blonde.

‘I know that.’ He finished the wine. Outside, there were hours of daylight left, and work to be done.

damen has been pretty consistently self-aware about the fact that he can’t trust laurent to be entirely honest about his intentions or plans, but he (damen) still cares for him (laurent) regardless. and he’s been living with that conflict and just kind of saying “this is fine” like the dog in that meme. this scene, i think, is nikandros basically walking into the room and trying to extinguish the fire. which nik is uniquely capable of doing, because he understands damen enough to notice the things that his friend is ignoring.

‘You’ve spent a morning with him and you’re warning me off. Just wait,’ said Damen, ‘until you’ve spent a full day with him.’ ‘You mean that he improves with time?’ ‘Not exactly,’ said Damen.

damen loves his blonde nightmare malewife so much <3 nik is going to scream into a paper bag

[violet-moonstone]

THW Rewrite

More headcannons because I have not been able to stop thinking about this franchise for the past 13 years, and I have over a decade's worth of opinions.

I've already posted some of these ideas but ehh it's fine.

While I enjoyed watching it for the first time, THW was disappointing to me for a variety of reasons. (The music was probably the best out the franchise though, I'll say that) Grimmel didn't reach his full villain potential since the writers used Ruffnut's lack of judgment as his key to success instead of him being a capable strategist. (Also they did my girl so dirty. She may be a dumbass, but she's not an idiot!) I don't like that the dragons left after just 6 years. I don't like that all the riders except for Hiccup and Astrid are just played for laughs instead of shining like they do in RTTE. I don't like whatever the hell Snotlout's obsession with Valka was, and I didn't like Toothless' "romance" with the Light Fury. I hate that even dragons can't escape half-developed romance and a nuclear family as the ultimate character accomplishment.

So here are my edits (looking back, there's quite a bit going on, so it may need to be split into 2 movies or a short TV series)

The time jump happens between movies 2 and 3. (I want a full movie with bearded Hiccup and "Homecoming" does NOT count) 10-15 years have passed, so the riders are about 30-35. Zephyr and Nuffink are either little kids or preteens and are getting to an age where they're starting to train dragons.

Astrid is more rough around the edges like she was in HTTYD 1 and Rob/Dob/RTTE, not just Hiccup's supportive gf/wife. Instead of making her softer, motherhood has made her fiercer because she has more people to protect. Hiccup on the other hand is a doting father and can't say no to the kids if they give him puppy dog eyes: heart melted every time.

Toothless finds his original flock(?)/herd?/murder?/unkindness?/parliament? of Night Furies instead of just one "soulmate". Each can have their own personalities and roles in the group while Toothless is the baby. I think it would be interesting if, like Hiccup, Toothless was quite small compared to his peers - potentially explaining why he was on his own and got separated from the group before meeting Hiccup.

Dagur and Heather are brought into a council meeting as Berserker allies. Hiccup greets them in a way that clarifies things for audience members who haven't watched the show. I suppose Mala would also be in it too. I don't dislike Mala but I hate her and Dagur's relationship. More development needed there.

Gustav should be there too, still very much trying to prove himself as a dragon rider and occasionally messing things up.

In terms of the main plot and villains, I'm not too picky, although I've said before that I'm tired of dragon mind-control being the main villain tool. I'm fine with it if Drago comes back as the villain, but if not, the villain should just be dragon hunters or rival dragon riders who use their dragons for conquering/raiding other settlements.

It can hit pretty much hit the same story beats as before but with better character dynamics.

Make Ruff and Tuff more instrumental to mischief and redirection in a way that helps the plot.

Give Fishlegs more credit for his discoveries and record-keeping about dragons.

Snotlout and Eret are together (or implied to be together if that's the best we can get). Snotlout is also no longer Hiccup's rival - he should be his second in command. They can disagree from time to time, but ultimately, his loyalty is not in question.

Fishlegs and Ruffnut have kids who cause chaos with Zephyr and Nuffink.

It would be cool to include a couple characters from other parts of the world with dragon mythology. I understand that Vikings are white but if we have goddamn flying dragons, there's no reason there can't be visitors from other cultures (who aren't villains).

Ending option 1: The movie can end with the dragons going away, but now they've been with the Berkians for over a decade and it just feels more impactful.

The "there were dragons when I was a boy" line can either be Hiccup talking to his grandson after an even longer time jump, or Nuffink talking to his own kids about Hiccup's adventures.

Ending 2: the Berkians go to The Hidden World with the dragons. Hiccup writes a memoir to leave behind. We hear him reading from it at the beginning and assume that means dragons are going to leave, but it's actually a diversion to make people think dragons are gone so no one tries to look for them.

Ending 3: We accept that HTYYD takes place in a different world so we don't have to explain why dragons don't live among us anymore. The movie ends with Hiccup vowing to make the archipelago safe for all dragons and Nuffink and Zephyr take up the mantle of discovering new dragons. The dragons stay and they all live happily ever after, the end :)

I'm tempted to actually write this as a fanfiction but I already got a lot of writing projects atm. We shall see.

edit: I'm writing it

[fuck-customers]

I often work with immigrant/ESL customers and the retail store I work at has confusing or vague price signs. I dislike the signage and I made a habit of reading out a particularly egregious sign that shows the price of an item if you buy 2 or more in larger print, and the price of a single item in smaller, lighter print. I read it out to one lady, who snapped, "I can read" at me. I lightheartedly said, "Oh, not everyone sees the sign!" She ignored me and was sarcastic and nitpicky at everything I normally say at the register ("'Exchange only?' So I can use it for 3 years and return it?")

Anyway, ever since that customer, every shift has included at least 1-2 customers who have misread the sign and I had to clarify. Every shift makes me more and more justified to read out the sign each and every time.

I always think of the most forgiving explanation for rude customer behaviour. I assume this lady might have been crabby that day and was trying to be funny. But I implore people to stop trying to be funny in a way that demeans customer service works. Being sarcastic like this exhausts us. We're not impressed.

Posted by admin Rodney

[heluvschibi]

Day 1

Kissing, glow ups, mentions of ex bully, friends to lover, wave to earth mentioned?! Cussing, mentions of hormones, no use of y/n, no use of pronouns.

You and Han were practically attached to the hip. When you were both 6 you met each other at school, he was alone because he had just moved schools, and you were alone, well because no one really talked to you.

You both managed to become great friends, sharing the same likes, and dislikes. You both held sleep overs every day, and if Han or you couldn't actually go, you tried to go on a hunger strike... Tried, but you failed after the 3 hours, missing delicious food.

Before you both went for you Junior year, Han went to a summer camp, you wanted to go to... But it was an all-boys camp, yeah, you cried when you heard that, and when he was leaving you asked for a goodbye hug, but you never let go practically clinging to him, crying out is messy slurred words, "I'll miss you... Don't change!" He held onto you too and cried, "I won't!" His parents had to practically pull him off of to put him in the car. Worst.summer.ever.

But when he got back... He had this random glow up. For all your life you never really thought of your best friend, your other half, your twin to be... Kinda...hot. Your decided to brush it off, claiming it to be a "Hormonal thing."

But when glow ups happen, always something bad has to happen, a girl in your class, who used to bully him started to... talk to him, every time that she approached you had the dirtiest look on your face, and you didn't even try to hide it. She sat on the table between the space of your and Han and acted like you weren't even there. It honestly kinda pissed you off, "She's gonna break the fucking table..."

She practically broke her neck to look at you. You were on your phone acting like you didn't just insult the girl. Han broke out laughing, putting his head down to try and quiet his laugh.

"Excuse me?"

You looked up at her and gave her a forced smile, "Oh nothing, just stating the obvious... When you hopped up here the table did a little dance, it shook, this table is really sturdy, but I guess in one hop your fat ass just broke it."

Han's laughter got louder, causing some of the students in the class to look over whispering about what's going on, "Oh my gosh...t-the table did s-shake when she hopped on!" Han said out trying to not laugh but failed. She was mad, and embarrassed. Soon the whole class erupted into laughter, she looked around and then hopped off and stomped away.

Han looked up at you a tear rolling down his face as he continued to laugh, "Holy shit, where did that come from?"

You shrugged and leaned back in your chair, "Just stating the obvious, hell the table asked for help, it creaked a little."

ೄྀ _-🐿-_ೄྀ

One day, you and Han were both walking home after a snack run, you both decided to stay at his house. You didn't want to be home alone, so you just came knocking on his door during dinner time.

The glow from the moon lighting up the dark spots of paths in the streets, the streetlamps doing most of the work, letting a yellowish shine hit the ground.

You both were sharing one earbud as you were listening to Wave to Earth's new album. This activity wasn't new to both of you. Walking home in the middle of the night together, him carrying the drinks while you carry the snacks, listening to music.

The only thing different from that night was Han, he's been holding back what he wanted to say, he wanted to tell you at school... But that girl came out from nowhere... He wanted to tell you at lunch but was distracted by some random guys from the soccer team asking him to join, knowing that he doesn't have an athletic bone in his body he said he'll think about it. He's been wanting to tell you, his whole life... Ever since he was little, to now... But he was nervous, what if you say no? What if you like someone else. Honestly, he was grateful for his random glow up, now he had some leverage.

"Hey..." He mumbled before he stopped walking, you noticed that his earbud fell out, you stopped and pulled out your other one to look at him.

"Hm? What is it?"

A blush went across his face, his hands started to get clammy, and sweaty, his throat feels like it's tightening, his heart was practically beating out of his chest.

"I like you..." He whispered out, it floating in the cool fall wind.

"What?" You said, no in shock but because you didn't hear him, you thought you lost your hearing, but the sound of crunchy leaves scattering on the ground failed to confirm your suspicion but comforted you to know that you weren't going deaf.

He clenched his fist together and looked at you with determined eyes, "I like you, I like you so, so, so much. Every time I'm with you I can't help but smile, you are the one for me! A-and I really, honest to the higher power that I l-like... No Love you! Why can't you see it?" He looked down.

You blushed and smiled, "Han... Ji?" You cupped his cheek with your open hand, making him look up at you, his eyes started to fill with tears, either breaking your heart, or making it flutter, "Ji, I-I like you too... But..." But? That's not what he wants to hear right now, he wants you to kiss him, to just say you love him... He didn't want a but... He wanted your love... "But wouldn't it be... Weird for us? I mean like I know everything about you."

"Exactly, we know everything about each other, there wouldn't be no hassle or awkward silences after asking a simple question like 'what's your favorite color.' I know your favorite color, I know what music you like and hate, I know what makes you laugh, and cry, and smile, I know all of that..."

"Are you... Really sure about this?" You mumbled, letting your hand fall from his cheek.

He moved closer, "I'm sure." He kissed you, it wasn't a hot and messy kiss, but a soft, and tender one, you both closed your eyes, enjoying the warmth of each other.

ೄྀ _-🐿-_ೄྀ

Day 1 done

all fluff week stories will be edited at the end of fluff week

first one to go!!! 6 more left... this is going to get harder on weekdays.. gulp -Chibi

[8auhaus]

i am a calypso defender and a caleo fan till the day i die i just cannot fathom hating her for such shallow reasons??

“she cursed annabeth” ok even if this was intentional (which. lol it wasn’t) so fucking what?? do you think calypso could plan on annie encountering the monsters you only see in TARTARUS??? where NO DEMIGOD has ever been?? or survived??

“she’s abusive/mean to leo” shes been isolated for thousands of years, forced to experience heartbreak after heartbreak only to return to her loneliness, god forbid this trauma doesn’t manifest in a way that makes her the nicest person in the world?? she finally has freedom, she’s able to explore the world and make friends she knows wont leave her and so god forbid she doesn’t prioritize leo in every situation? it’s unhealthy, sure, but since when has any trauma victim (or victims, since leo is also horrifically traumatized) been able to function normally after they escape their situation?! she’s on her guard, everyone she’s ever loved has left her and i believe this means she pushes people away. she needs patience, and leo is willing to give her that. he came back for her, he died for her, he is the first person to show such devotion towards her and i think they deserve each other even if they both mutually need to heal. plus, rick has always been a fan of the bickering couple trope, and even if his writing has flaws it is so clear he was not writing her to be abusive, he was writing them both to be a bickering couple using the same formula he did with percabeth and solangelo

and don’t get me started on the age gap 😭😭 “thousands of years she’s a pedophile” IF SHES IMMORTAL 😭😭😭 THEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS MEANS NOTHING TO HER 😭😭 ITS ABOUT RELATIVITY you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me you think calypso is a pedophile for not conforming to human age and maturity development like. it was clearly written to be so her development was, relative to human aging, around leo’s age. and when she left the island and is no longer immortal, NOW she conforms to human aging laws, and will continue to age normally alongside leo 😭

ship whoever you want, i’ll never tell someone i dislike valgrace if i see them enjoying the pairing but 99% of the time hatred towards calypso (or any of the other pjo girls) is shallow attempts at covering misogyny. i think the pjo fandom has a serious problem with misogyny and dare i say it lesbophobia (cough. piper haters/bisexual truthers. i mean. what who said that) and rick knew caleo would be to powerful as a doomed yuri couple </3 lesbian caleo you will forever be famous to me

but srsly i think it’s unfair to use any argument against calypso that can be debunked using context (how rick intended for the characters to be written) and i don’t think calypso deserves half of the hate she receives

why do you have to justify not shipping something by hating it? why is there so much hatred within the fandom? it’s really upsetting

[flashfuture]

Since I've been on it I wanna talk about Hal's parents. Cause I've seen some dislike for Geoff Johns take on them. But they didn't really, Jessica especially, exist before then. I feel like some people read the comic where Hal in hysterical grief over Coast City made a construct of his parents and then went off to kill all the Lanterns and Guardians and said yep that is exactly how his parents were.

But let's get into it. Martin and Jessica Jordan. For further context, the sibling order is Jack, Hal, Jim Jordan. Three boys. And it was sort of implied for years that they were Jewish and got confirmed not too long ago that Jessica is Jewish and Martin is Catholic. Hal was a grown man in the 80s. His childhood took place in the 50/60s. And before that he was a grown man in the 60s meaning his childhood was the 40s/50s. That absolutely influenced the type of life he had. Vs the further in time we drag this out the less natural it becomes to have super strict parents.

So to begin the first physical appearance of Martin Jordan comes in 1989 in Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn #1. This is a post crisis pre zero hour story so any events in this particular time window are wildly subject to change

Martin is a test flight pilot. He's Hal's hero. His plane goes down. Hal watches. This sequence of events stays consistent across every time line including Flashpoint which is you know fascinating.

"Hal got fired today-- and he got his mom to call up and beg for him."

"Talk about my father again Biff and I'll rip your lungs out."

In this version of events, we get a mention of Jessica. She's not named and doesn't appear. So you can tell she was brought up purely for a 'Hal is so irresponsible he needs his mommy's help' bit. Hal and Jack get along though and are violently defensive of their father. Hal also catches a drunk driving charge after this.

Speaking of drunk I know there's a comic out there where Martin is described as a drunk which I could not for the life of me dig up again but that's mentioned all of once so I just ignore it. What's with making test pilots drunks???

Anyways Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn is definitely not my favorite Hal Jordan story and I'm glad it's been mostly retconned out minus the very beginning parts with Martin.

(Green Lantern vol 3 #36)

"So you're back to flying planes, huh?"

"Dad's blood still runs through my veins, I guess."

This Christmas special in 1993 took place before Coast City exploded. Hal took Carol out to Jack's house to spend the holiday with the Jordan family. Hal directly attributes flying to his dad's influence.

Now Green Lantern vol 3 #48. Hal is standing in the ruins of Coast City not a soul left and he conjures an image of his parents. Reminder they are entirely Hal's imagination and again he is just about hysterical right now.

"I looked up to you. I worshipped the ground you walked on, or flew over. I wanted to grow up and be you... which probably has a lot to do with who I am now. Growing up, though, I never felt like you... I don't know thought that much of me."

As we saw Hal's dad died when he was Maybe ten. His little brother and older brother didn't have real accomplishments in elementary school. Jack the DA and Jim helping the campaign and having a family that's all modern. Stuff Martin would have never known about. Martin the pilot getting on Hal's case for having his head in the clouds? Really seems like Hal is the one he could have related to the most. Martin getting on Hal about not saving the city just proves Hal is projecting his worries about disappointing his dad onto his dad and then because he's so hysterical with grief forces himself to rewatch his dad dying.

Absolutely completely irrational state of mind he's in right now. At the end of this issue, he's going to fly off into space to kill all the Lanterns and the Guardians.

And then he summons Jessica. Calling her mother instead of mom is just really funny to me like informal with his strict dad formal with his chill mom. Lmao? Jessica only speaks on Martin. Reminding Hal of the good times they had. She's Hal's memory which which means Hal heard the story of dressing up as Santa he remembers his dad's aftershave. Summoning your mom just to talk about your dad is crazy work btw

Again Hal was so young when his dad died. Not a teenager not even close. What was Martin disappointed about? Maybe Hal who can't keep a job a girl or half his friends (Barry died and all super friends ditched him basically) is projecting backwards into time. And assumes his Dad would be disappointed in him.

"Personal gain? This is about personal loss!"

Personal loss and Hal's spent most of his time summoning his long dead father. He really never got over Martin dying and that's so apparent. Anyways this is where Hal decides to go into space and kill everybody. Seeing his dad taken from him one more time made him snap.

Hal is enamored with his father. Whether their relationship was tough or easy it wasn't necessarily the point. The point is Hal Jordan loves his father to Oa and back more than the rest of his family probably understood. He didn't just want to impress his father he wants to be him.

And Zero Hour royally fucked up Hal's family but like idk let's just say Infinite Crisis fixed it. That's two reality shattering events. Why not give Hal a little treat of being his dad's favorite. No one seems to miss when Jack, Jim, and Hal all went to the same college and the same fraternity and were besties

[witchstone]

tvc for the fandom ask and batman bc i see you posting about it but i can never keep the names straight

hi ruby <333

the vampire chronicles

my favorite female character: i haven't finished qotd yet but i really, really enjoyed reading jesse's chapters. odd for me, since i don't tend to latch on to 'smaller' characters

my favorite male character: lestat lestat lestat. what a vivid storyteller

my favorite book/season/etc: i'm not exaggerating in the slightest when i say that the vampire lestat is everything i have ever wanted in a vampire novel, and more

my favorite ship: it's armand/daniel, while i am greatly enjoying a lot of the various dynamics most aren't really 'shipping' material for me?

a character I’d die defending: gabrielle. she was right to hate her husband and children

a character I just can’t sympathize with: louis. lmao. do have to agree with that post that describes him as a dried out husk of a soul

a character I grew to love: probably lestat, but i don't know if it's fair to use going from reading iwtv to tvl as an example lmao

my anti otp: i don't really have one? probably marius/armand just based entirely on how marius talks about armand in qotd

batfam. sorry but this probably isn't going to make anything clearer lol <3

my favorite female character: stephanie brown my beloved steph

my favorite male character: jason todd. number one favourite character of all time, no one's doing it like him

my favorite book/season/etc: under the red hood, the lost days, and steph's batgirl run were all pretty foundational

my favorite ship: jaytim (before i get any flack: i maintain my position that they're not brothers. i have worse ships, i promise)

a character I’d die defending: it seems to have abated but damian used to get a lot of flack in the fandom over things that were literally the most basic responses that you could expect from a 10yo child in his situation. (if this answer were for dc as a whole then it would be talia. deeply interesting character who frequently gets the short end of the stick both from writer and readers alike)

a character I just can’t sympathize with: honestly, it's bruce. i don't dislike him, but it got to the point that every batman run i read felt like it was just the same circular repeat of the one before. i just feel like everything about him that can be said has been said, and i don't find him or his reasonings to be particularly compelling

a character I grew to love: honestly dick grayson has grown on me over the years. i didn't find him particularly compelling when i first started reading comics (and his fanonization didn't exactly help) but he's started to grow on me. might actually get back into reading the comics because of it

my anti otp: love and light to my mutuals you seem to be happy when you talk about it but i don't get the appeal of batman/joker. could just be the fact that i don't find either of them interesting

[wizardingwirelessnetwork]

Celestina Warbeck aka the Singing Sorcerers!

Celestina is a famous witch, known for her mesmerizing songs and performances usually accompanied by a chorus of backing banshees.

She’s Welsh, was born on 18 August 1917 and attended Hogwarts - Gryffindor - she performs live and is often featured on the show ”Witching Hour” on Wizarding Wireless Network

While not that popular with younger people, and openly disliked by Fleur, the older generation is very fond of her. Molly Weasley and her husband Arthur, like listening to her songs. Severus Snape secretly liked the song “A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love”. Three devoted fans were involved in a three-broom pile-up over Liverpool on the last night of her 'Flighty Aphrodite' tour. Her tickets often went on sale in the black market for vastly inflated prices (one reason why Molly Weasley, who listened to her songs every Christmas, could never see her favourite singer live).

Celestina's personal life provided much fodder for the gossip columns of the Daily Prophet. Warbeck became romantically involved with one of her backing dancers early in her career. They married, but ended up divorcing after only a year. Some time later, she married her manager, and they had a son together. However, after ten years of marriage, Warbeck left him in order to marry Irving Warble, a music composer.

Two Muggle dog-walkers found themselves accidentally transported to a Celestina Warbeck concert in 2003, because their dogs had run off with an old trainer on Clapham Common (leaving an anguished crowd of witches and wizards to look frantically for their Portkey on a stretch of empty grass, hopefully seizing old crisp packets and cigarette ends). One of the Muggle dog-walkers was even invited on stage by Celestina to perform a duet of ‘A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love’. While the Memory Charm placed upon him by a harried Ministry official seemed to take at the time, he has since written a popular Muggle song that bears an uncanny resemblance to Celestina’s worldwide hit (Ms Warbeck is not amused). - Pottermore

“Celestina is one of my favourite 'off-stage' characters in the whole series, and has been part of the Potter world ever since its inception, making an early appearance in the short-lived 'Daily Prophet' series I produced for members of the equally short-lived fan club run by my British publisher, Bloomsbury. Although we never lay eyes on Celestina during the whole seven volumes of the Potter books, I always imagined her to resemble Shirley Bassey in both looks and style. I stole her first name from a friend with whom I worked, years ago, at Amnesty International's Headquarters in London; 'Celestina' was simply begging to be scooped up and attached to a glamorous witch.” - JKR on Pottermore

Book Quotes & other mentions:

“Books were stacked three deep on the mantelpiece, books with titles like Charm Your Own Cheese, Enchantment in Baking, and One Minute Feasts — It’s Magic! And unless Harry’s ears were deceiving him, the old radio next to the sink had just announced that coming up was “Witching Hour, with the popular singing sorceress, Celestina Warbeck.” - HP & the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 3

“They were all supposed to be listening to a Christmas broadcast by Mrs. Weasleys favorite singer, Celestina Warbeck, whose voice was warbling out of the large wooden wireless set. Fleur, who seemed to find Celestina very dull, was talking so loudly in the corner that a scowling Mrs. Weasley kept pointing her wand at the volume con-trol, so that Celestina grew louder and louder. Under cover of a par-ticularly jazzy number called "A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love, […]

[…] "We danced to this when we were eighteen!" said Mrs. Weasley, wiping her eyes on her knitting. "Do you remember, Arthur?"

"Mphf?" said Mr. Weasley, whose head had been nodding over the satsuma he was peeling. "Oh yes ... marvelous tune . . ." ” - HP & the Half Blood Prince, Chapter 16

“Bill told Mum he and Fleur weren’t going home for Christmas because they wanted to spend it alone. You know, first holiday after they were married. I don’t think Fleur minded. You know how much she hates Celestina Warbeck.” - HP & the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 20

Songs and lyrics:

Listen to the songs here!

“A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love”

“I've got a cauldron full of hot, strong love

And it's bubbling for you!

Say Incendio, but that spell's not hot

As my special witch's brew!

Don't you be afraid, come and take a sip

Of this steamy, tasty treat!

What's in my cauldron full of hot, strong love

Will make your life complete!

I've got a cauldron full of hot, strong love

That's about to be unfurled

Got a flavour that beats anything

You'll find in the Muggle world!

Mix a pinch of spice with a dash of charm

And a sprinkling of romance

They're why my cauldron full of hot, strong love

Is worth it, take the chance!

Oh, come and stir my cauldron

And if you do it right

I'll boil you up some hot, strong love

To keep you warm tonight!

I've got a cauldron full of hot, strong love

It's a recipe so rare

There's no potion or elixir that

Could ever quite compare!

Oh, such thrills await

'Cause, together, we are ready to proceed

Drink from my cauldron full of hot, strong love

It's all the magic you'll ever need!

Oh, come and stir her cauldron

And if you do it right

She'll boil you up some hot, strong love

To keep you warm tonight

To keep you warm tonight!

That's right!

I've got a cauldron full of hot, strong love

It's a recipe so rare

There's no potion or elixir that

Could ever quite compare!

Oh, such thrills await

'Cause, together, we are ready to proceed

Drink from my cauldron full of hot, strong love

It's all the magic you'll ever need!”

“You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me”

“Oh, my poor heart, where has it gone?

It's left me for a spell

But I don't mind, 'cause with you I find

I'm always feeling well...

— two, three, four!

You charmed the heart right out of me

Don't need no broom, I'm flying free

I think by now it's plain to see

I'm nothing without you

Your every wish is my command

My fragile heart is in your hand

And now, at last, I understand

The magic about you!

I'm losing all control

My chest is one big hole

Inside you'll see my soul

Happy as can be

'Cause, babe, you charmed the heart right out of me!

You charmed the heart right of me

To my whole life you hold the key

You cast your spell and suddenly

I cannot forget you!

This feeling's utter bliss

Yet something seems amiss

Like a Dementor's Kiss

You're consuming me!

And now you've torn it quite apart

I'll thank you to give me back my heart!

'Cause, you charmed the heart right out of me!

But I need a heart for loving thee

So give it back, together we

Can love till forever!

You may have not played fair

But, frankly, I don't care

'Cause without you I despair

Lost in misery!

Oh, babe, you charmed the heart right out of —

It's the one thing I've no doubt of

Babe, you charmed the heart right out of me!

Right out of me!”

“You Stole My Cauldron But You Can't Have My Heart”

You think you're quite the wizard, got me under your spell,

But guess what, Mister Wizard, you don't know me so well

You thought you were so clever, but, in truth, you're a crook

And no way you're gettin' away with all the things that you took

You stole my cauldron

My favourite black hat

Purloined my owl

Then flew off like a vampire bat

You claimed that you loved me

Said we'd never part

Then you stole my cauldron

(Oh, you stole her cauldron)

But you can't have my heart.

Oh, sure, you're quite the dancer, swept me off of my feet

But back here on the ground, I see a liar and cheat

And when you disappeared at first it's me who I blamed

But now I see you're wicked as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

You stole my cauldron

The toads from my pond

Crystal phials of my memories

Plus my larch and phoenix feather wand

But don't think that you broke me

Cause you ain't all that smart

See, you stole my cauldron

(Stole her favourite cauldron)

But you can't have my heart.

(You stole her cauldron)

Go on and take it!

(Her hippogriff, too!)

Careful, he bites.

(Her dragon skin coat)

You can have it!

If that's worth so much to you.

But love, love is priceless

Like a rare work of art

Yes, you stole my cauldron

(She can buy a new cauldron)

But you can't have —

You can't have —

You can't have my heart!

(No, no, no, you stole her cauldron)

(No, no, no, you stole her cauldron)

Not my heart!

(No, no, no, you stole her cauldron)

You stole my cauldron, but you can't have my heart!

(Her heart!)

Listen to the Christmas songs here!

“Nothing Like a Holiday Spell”

There's a spell to make somebody freeze

Or make something disappear

There's a spell for wiping memories

There's a spell to bring you cheer

But when it comes to magic that I love best

Outshining the rest

It's time to confess

Out of all the charms that ring my bell

There's nothing like a holiday spell!

It'll make you dance or make you sing

Make the darkest sky shine bright

Fill your heartbeat with a jingling

Father Christmas takes his flight

It's to cast a spell to change your attire

To conjure a fire

Or summon a choir

[?] so well

There's nothing like a holiday spell!

With a wave of the wand

What a Christmas we'll create

With goodwill toward all

We will feel our spirits levitate!

(Feel our spirits levitate!)

There's a spell to send you back in time

Or release you from a cell

But to make the season so sublime

There's nothing like a holiday spell!

(Season's greetings my lovelies! And welcome to a very special holiday celebration! As you know, this first song is the title track of my latest Christmas album, "Nothing Like a Holiday Spell"! It's already flown to the top of the charts. And you can hear it playing round the clock on the Wizarding Wireless Network. And nothing could make me happier, because I just love singing a classic holiday tune!)

If you want to feel that Christmas glow

I've just the spell for you

It can bring to life a man of snow

Make your Yuletide dreams come true!

So hang a shining star on that highest bough

The moment is now

Together we vow

With your loved ones, family, friends as well

Get ready for the holiday —

Gather for the holiday —

Nothing like a holiday spell!

Merry Christmas, lovelies!”

“My Baby Gave Me a Hippogriff for Christmas”

“(I have a very important question: with a show of hands, who here has received a holiday gift that, well, was not something you asked for or ever really wanted? Well then, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about in this next song.)

I made it very clear

I've been dropping hints all year

About the gift I hoped to find beneath the tree

So imagine my surprise

When right there before my eyes

Was the last gift that a girl expects to see...

My baby gave me a hippogriff for Christmas (for Christmas!)

A giant, feathery hippogriff, it's true (sad but true!)

I expected jewels at least

But instead I got this beast

I have no words, he ate my purse

Oh, what's a girl to do? (what to do?)

My baby gave me a hippogriff for Christmas (for Christmas!)

Its being here is cause for great alarm (great alarm!)

Oh, it's just as you'd expect

My entire house is wrecked

It may be that my baby means me harm!

(Her baby gave her a hippogriff for Christmas)

You might say he's high maintenance at best (at best!)

Gotta bow approaching him

Or he'll tear you limb from limb

He's way too proud

He squawks real loud

This sorceress is stressed! (So stressed!)

(Her baby gave her a hippogriff for Christmas)

Now I'm finding nests in every single room!

Oh, he's easy to offend

So I gotta just pretend

I'm not annoyed he destroyed my favourite broom!

My baby could have given me a diamond ring

A captivating thing that makes my heart go zing

A sparkly robe is something every witch admires

Oh boy my baby conjured me my desires (sarcasm)

It could've been a toad or a cuddly crup

I thought you loved me, baby, tell me what is up

I saw the Christmas tree, but now I'm what you call "mad"

And now I'm struggling with this temperamental pet

My baby gave me a hippogriff for Christmas (for Christmas!)

And now there's talon scratches 'cross my floor (across her floor!)

Still, he's loyal as can be

I am his priority

If you're polite, he doesn't bite

It's magic when he soars!

My baby gave me a hippogriff for Christmas (for Christmas!)

If you wish for less, you're thinking way too small (you're thinking way too small!)

Oh I found a faithful friend

Who'll be with me till the end

Oh, a hippogriff's the greatest gift of all!

Yes, a hippogriff's the greatest gift of all!

Hippogriff's the greatest gift of all!”

“Accio Christmas”

"(Do you hear that? That's the rhythm of the islands! Christmas doesn't just cast its spell over the British Isles, my friends! It enchants people all over the world!)

Accio Christmas, Christmas come to me

Accio Christmas, calling out to thee

Accio Christmas, we've waited so long

to summon your magic with a Christmas song

Accio Christmas, come bring out the joy

Accio Christmas, every girl and boy

sings Accio Christmas, all through the year

'til the jingle bell season is finally here!

It's an invitation for a celebration

Bringing out elation in everyone

It's an invocation, a conjuration

And an invitation to have some fun!

Accio Christmas, let the magic start

Accio Christmas, filling out my heart

Bring me the love and good will for all

Singing Accio Christmas all 'round the world!

(Alright, lovelies! Now it's time for the fun part: audience participation. As they say, the more the merrier, so let's cast this Christmas spell together, shall we?)

Accio Christmas (come on, everyone!)

Accio Christmas (I can't hear you!)

Accio Christmas (getting better!)

Accio Christmas (good! now bring it down)

(4x) Accio Christmas!

Accio Christmas, Christmas come to me

Accio Christmas, calling out to thee

Accio Christmas, we've waited so long

Just summon your magic with a Christmas song

Accio Christmas, come bring out the joy

Accio Christmas, every girl and boy

Sings Accio Christmas, all through the year

'til the jingle bell season is finally here!

It's a proclamation, it's an exclamation

Needs no translation 'cause we all know

It's an inspiration for some decoration

[?] so let it snow!

Accio Christmas, let the magic start

Accio Christmas, filling out my heart

Bring me the love and good will for all

Singing Accio Christmas all 'round the world!

(Accio Christmas) All 'round the world!

(Accio Christmas) All 'round the world!

(Accio Christmas) All 'round the —

Accio Christmas all 'round the world!"

"A Witch and Wizard's Wintry Wonderous Land"

"On a cool winter breeze, we'll sail over trees

Glistening with flakes of white

And what could be rich, is if we bewitch

Some snow and start a snowball fight

We'll glide right along, singing a song

And even if our lips turn blue

Not a thing could compare to floating on air

In a witch and wizard's wintry wondrous land with you

Stroll down the streets, eating holiday treats

Taking in enchanted sights

As night leads to day, see the stunning display

Of glowing fairy Christmas lights

I'm under your spell, and it's clear to tell

That baby, you're under mine too

I'm yours heart and soul, as I take a stroll

In a witch and wizard's wintry wondrous land with you

As we approach December, falling leaves give way to snow

But as long as we're together, the weather can put on a show

'Cause we'll be safe and warm beneath the mistletoe

Wherever we roam, we're sure to head home

When our Christmas hearts are full

After some luck, we will not get struck

By an everlasting icicle

I'm under your spell, and it's clear to tell

That baby, you're under mine too

I'm yours heart and soul, as I take a stroll

In a witch and wizard's wintry wondrous land with you (I'm strolling here with you)

I'm yours heart and soul, as I take a stroll

In a witch and wizard's wintry wondrous land with you"

[sequinsmile-x]

Backfire

Three Thanksgivings in the lives of the Hotchner family.

-x-

Hi friends, this is the third and final (for now) part of my Thanksgiving fic Backfire.

This got a little sadder than I initially intended, but I don't think that will surprise anyone.

This week has been...rough. But as ever I am grateful for this community and the distraction it provides from real life <3

-x-

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Grief/Loss of a parent

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Somewhere along the way, Thanksgiving had become her least favourite holiday. 

She’d felt the tension it brought the moment she woke up, torn from sleep by her hungry one-month-old, the baby girl demanding her attention almost constantly. Eliza was a clingier baby than Zachary had ever been, something that Emily would have once called impossible, and she was exhausted.

She yawns as she lays Eliza down on the changing table, a smile flitting across her face at the sight of the outfit, that had been bought by Penelope, that she was about to dress her daughter in. The swirling writing and cartoon turkey on the onesie so cute it made her ache. 

Mommy & Daddy’s Little Turkey.

“You’re going to hate me when I show you these pictures in about 14 years, sweet girl,” she says as she picks up the outfit, rubbing the soft material between her fingers, “But you’re going to look so damn cute I don’t care.” She feels a rush of love sweep through her as she slips Eliza’s arms into the onesie, her heart aching at how cute her daughter looks. She picks her up and rests her against her chest, “You are the fucking cutest baby on the whole planet.” 

“Don’t curse in front of the baby.” 

She turns to look at her husband and smiles, rolling her eyes at him before she adjusts her hold on Eliza so he can see her outfit, “Am I wrong?” 

He chuckles as he walks over, his hand on Emily’s lower back as he leans in to kiss her. He then stamps a kiss against Eliza’s head before he pulls back to look at them. 

“I stand corrected, she is the fucking cutest.” 

Emily mock gasps, “Don’t curse in front of the baby.” 

Aaron shakes his head at his wife, but his response is cut off as the doorbell rings, quickly followed by Jack’s voice, the 11-year-old’s excitement clear.

“Mom, Dad, Aunt Jessie and Grandpa are here!” 

She hears two sets of feet thundering down the hallway downstairs, Zachary always on the heels of his older brother, the 4-year-old always copying his every move. 

Aaron feels Emily tense in his arms, her shoulders tight as she holds Eliza impossibly closer. He kisses her forehead and cups her cheek to make him look up at her. 

“Remember sweetheart, we don’t have to do this. We can just send him home.” 

She found Thanksgiving challenging when she was at her best, something that she definitely did not currently feel. It was the only holiday when they got together with Roy, who still tried to undermine her or make comments towards Aaron at every opportunity. Emily hated it, the tension the man brought into her home enough to make her skin crawl, but she put up with it. Her love for Jack and her desire for him to be happy and surrounded by family who loved him far outweighing her own dislike for a man who made a point of being actively rude to her husband. 

Aaron had checked more than once if she still wanted to go ahead with Thanksgiving as planned. He’d even asked her that morning, his arm around her shoulder as she fed Eliza whilst it was still dark outside, a serious look in his eyes as he said he’d uninvite Roy at any time, right up to the moment he stepped foot on the porch. She’d insisted she was fine, that she wanted things to be as normal as they possibly could, but as she watches the clock tick closer to the time Jess was supposed to arrive with Roy, she wonders if she had made the right decision. 

Not only was Emily only a month post-partum and still getting used to having a newborn again, the four years since she’d done all of this with Zachary feeling like both a lifetime and a blur all at once, but it was the first holiday since her mother had died. 

Emily was working when it happened. Regulated to the office at almost 8 months pregnant, her bump pressed against her desk as she looked over paperwork she was struggling to focus on. Her phone screen lit up with an unknown number, and dread she still didn’t understand flooded her veins. Her instincts that something was wrong kicking in before she even answered the call and listened as a stranger whose voice she’d never forget told her that Elizabeth was critically ill. 

Aaron had been away on a case at the time, something she knew he still felt guilty about as if him being at home would have changed anything. He’d flown back to her as soon as he could, putting her and their family above his job, a lesson he’d learnt the hard way with spilt blood and tears. He’d held her hand as she made the decision to take her mother off life support, the roll of her baby girl in her stomach feeling displaced against the repetitive beeps of the machines around them, and her mother’s cold hand. 

Emily wondered if things would feel different if her relationship with her mother had been a good one. If they’d had the type of relationship she knew she had with her children whether she’d feel different. Grief was complicated, she knew that, it wasn’t linear or easy. But she sometimes thought her chest wouldn’t feel like it was hollowed out if she had more good memories of her mother to fall back on, if all of her favourite moments with her hadn’t all happened since she’d become a mother herself. Elizabeth may never have been the mother Emily wanted or deserved, but she was an excellent grandmother.

On some level, she was jealous of the relationship the boys had with Elizabeth, an emotion that made her feel so guilty it made her feel sick. She wished that she could miss her like Jack and Zachary did. They had no complication in their grief, no caveats. They just missed her.

Emily was angry. Furious that her mother had been capable of being the person she’d needed all along, and sad that Elizabeth had never chosen to be like that for her. She missed both who her mother was and who she could have been, the old adage that ‘two things can be right at once’ as infuriating as it was correct. 

She sighs as she shakes her head, “No, we can’t send him home, honey. He’s Jack’s grandfather, it’s Thanksgiving,” she turns her head to kiss his palm, “We can’t send him home. Plus, that would mean Jess would have to leave too and I love spending time with her, and so do the boys. And she cooked the turkey this year so we’d have no food.” 

He smiles at her and leans in to kiss her softly. He knew that she was making the decision she thought was right for everyone other than herself, her own comfort was always her last priority. He doesn’t want to argue with her though, and doesn’t want to push her when he knows she’s already more delicate than usual, something she wouldn’t thank him for pointing out. So he steps away. 

“I’ll go let them in,” he says, his smile so loving it warms her from the inside out, “You come down when you’re ready.” 

She nods and smiles gratefully, turning all of her attention back to Eliza the moment they are alone. She smiles at her little girl. 

It may be her first holiday without her mother, but it was also her first with her daughter and she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could. 

“Come on Eliza,” she says, kissing her temple, “Let’s go see the grumpiest man to ever exist,” she pauses, smiling to herself as she kisses her daughter again, “And before you ask,” she says as she starts to walk out of the nursery, “I don’t mean Daddy.” 

___

“That was the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve eaten in years,” Roy says as he sets his knife and fork down on his plate, turning his attention to Jessica, “That was delicious, Jess.”

“It was so good Aunt Jessie,” Zachary says, smiling as he sinks back into his chair, making his parents laugh as he rubs his belly, something he’d clearly picked up on someone else doing. 

“Thanks, Zach,” she says, smiling at the young boy she considered her nephew just as much as Jack before she turns to Roy, “And thanks Dad, I’ve never cooked a whole turkey before so it was quite the learning curve.” 

Aaron smiles as he puts his arm around the back of Emily’s chair, taking a quick peak at Eliza who was fast asleep against her mother’s chest, “We really appreciate you cooking, Jess,” he says, “I don’t think we could have managed it.” 

“Oh don’t worry,” she replies, “You have a new baby and have to chase my nephews around, I can handle doing the cooking.” 

Roy mutters something under his breath, but Emily doesn’t quite catch it because Eliza starts to cry, the brief reprieve she’d given them so Emily could eat, all be it one-handed whilst she held her daughter, is already over. 

“Oh sweetheart,” she says, already moving to stand up so she pace, the movement one of the few things that soothed her, “You’re okay.”

Jack stands up too, beating Aaron to it, as he offers help, always keen to be the best big brother he could be, “Do you need me to go get one of her pacifiers, Mom?” 

She sees a flash of something across Roy’s face. It’s an echo of a moment a few years ago when it was Zachary’s first Thanksgiving, his tiny face covered in mashed potato as she tried to wipe him clean, and Jack’s innocent comment aimed at his younger brother, the name Momma slipping past his lips without real meaning. He’d still called her Emily back then, the use of the moniker for his little brother’s benefit more than anything, the then baby on the brink of saying his first word. 

Jack had switched to calling her Mom a year ago. It felt like it had happened overnight, something that felt natural and wonderful all at once. He still called her Emily in front of Roy, something she knew he did to prevent his grandfather from getting upset, all of the comments he’d made over the years always lingering in the back of his mind. The empathy her eldest was capable of never failed to blow her away, his kindness so much a part of him that she sometimes worried one day it would be something that people would take advantage of. It’s a slip-up Jack doesn’t even seem aware of, his smile soft as he looks at her. 

She looks back at Roy, and watches as Jessica stares at her father, a fierce look in her eyes that has almost no effect. 

“That would be lovely, Jack,” Emily says, turning her attention back to her eldest son, wanting him out of the room before anything was said, “The clean ones are in the kitchen,” she says, and Jack nods before he runs out of the room. Emily looks at Zachary. Usually, the frown on his face, the one that made him look identical to Aaron, would make her smile, but it makes her chest get tight, the thought that her son was picking up on the tension in the room enough to make her cry, “Zach-”

Her attempt to get him out of the room, to distract him by suggesting he go to the den and played with his toys, is cut off by Roy. 

“What did he call you?” He asks, his jaw tight as he glares at her, and any usual defiance she has against the man is nowhere to be found, the crying of her baby in her arms, the absence of her mother and the usual jibes she’d throw at the man, setting her on edge. “How many times do I have to remind you that you’re not his mother?” 

It was something that had come up time and time again over the years. Roy’s desire to keep his daughter's memory alive so misguided he didn’t realise he was going against what she’d wanted - for her son to have exactly what he had now. 

“Roy,” Aaron starts, his protective instincts kicking in, but he isn’t given the chance when Emily cuts over him

“You know what, Roy,” Emily says, shaking her head at him, a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob catching in her chest, “I don’t have the energy for this. I need to go feed my baby,” she softens when she smiles at Zachary, “Want to come with me to go feed your sister?” 

Zach nods, slipping out of his chair and walking over to his mother, avoiding eye contact with everyone else as he reaches her side. Emily adjusts her hold on Eliza to make sure she’s secure against her with one arm and she reaches down to hold Zachary’s hand. She leads him out of the room and she doesn’t look back. 

Aaron wants to follow her, but he knows she wouldn’t want him to, instead, he folds his hands together in his lap and looks at his ex-father-in-law, anger he hasn’t let himself feel in years bubbling in his stomach. 

“You couldn’t just leave it alone this year?” Aaron asks, his eyes stern as he stares at Roy, “She lost her mother a couple of months ago.”

“How long has Jack been calling her mom?” Roy asks as if Aaron hasn’t spoken, staring him down. It reminds Aaron of when he was a teenager and accidentally got Haley home after her curfew, the traffic on the way back from the concert they had been to worse than he’d anticipated. Roy was furious, yelling at Aaron for making his daughter late, for making him worry about her, and Aaron had promised it would never happen again, and that he’d always keep Haley safe. 

It was a promise he’d broken without meaning to, the shattered pieces of his already tenuous relationship with his once father-in-law destroyed beyond repair. 

“For a long time, Dad,” Jessica answers, sighing as Roy turns to look at her, “He’s called Emily his Mom for over a year.”

Roy frowns at his daughter, “You knew?” 

She scoffs, “Of course I did,” she says, shaking her head, “I babysit all the kids, I love them all. And unlike you, I can see past my own grief over Haley to see how happy Jack is.”  

Aaron smiles gratefully at Jessica and then he sighs as he turns back to Roy, “I know it’s difficult for you. But Jack came to this decision himself, he also wanted to make sure he did his best not to call Emily ‘Mom’ in front of you so he didn’t upset you.”

Roy all but growls, his frustration clear, “She is not his-”

“She is my mom.” 

They all turn to look at Jack, the pre-teen standing in the doorway with a pacifier in his hand, his grip on it tight. Aaron stands and steps towards his son.

“Jack-”

“Mom was my mom too,” he says, cutting off his father as he crosses his arms over his chest, “But so is she,” he adds, pointing towards the stairs, “I don’t remember Mom, Grandad,” Jack says, shrugging his shoulders, “I miss her but the only things I know are what you and Dad and Aunt Jess tell me. Emily…Mom is the one I remember. She’s looked after me and she loves me. And that’s what a mom does,” he frowns, seemingly unable to stop now he’s started, the words he’d wanted to say since he was too young to understand them spilling out, “And you have to be nice to her, and to Dad, and to my brother and sister or I don’t want to see you anymore.” 

His words settle around them and Roy sighs, “Jack, I’m just trying to make sure no one forgets your mother.” 

“But no one has,” he says, furrowing his brow, looking so much like Haley that it makes the three adults in the room ache, “Dad is always telling me about her and you are. And even Mom does even though she only met her a couple of times,” he adds, watching as shock washes over his grandfathers face and he sighs, feeling some of the anger in his chest go away, “She asks Aunt Jess and Dad for stories so she can talk to me about her too.” 

Roy looks at Jessica who nods, her lips pressed together, “It’s true.” 

He sighs as he shakes his head, “I’m sorry,” he says as he looks at his grandson, “I didn’t know.” 

“You never asked,” Aaron says firmly and Roy nods, clearing his throat as he avoids eye contact. Aaron looks at Jack and smiles at him, “Why don’t you go find everyone else? They’re probably in the nursery.” 

Jack hesitates for a moment, but he nods, turning and leaving the room as quickly as he’d entered it. Aaron looks over at Roy and sighs, his hands on his hips as he looks him up and down. He’d always allowed his anger when it was aimed towards him, partially because it felt like a punishment he deserved. A penance for failing Haley and by extension Roy, But he also allowed it because he knew Roy was grieving, that he’d lost his daughter in a horrific way.

It didn’t take an FBI profiler to realise he was overcompensating to make sure he didn’t lose anyone else, his anger and his short temper were side effects of so desperately trying to cling on to what he had left of his daughter. 

Her memory and her son. 

“Look, Roy,” Aaron says carefully, “I can’t imagine how difficult it is, and I know we don’t particularly like each other,” he looks over at Jessica who smothers a chuckle with a fake cough, her eyes on the ceiling as she avoids looking at him, “But we both loved Haley, and we both love Jack. Surely the fact he’s happy, which is what she wanted, should be enough.” 

Roy is quiet for a moment before he stands up, blowing out a steady breath as he nods slowly, “You’re right,” he says, clearing his throat, “It should be. And I’ll try to make sure it is going forward.” 

Aaron smiles and relaxes a little, some of the tension in his shoulders finally easing, “Thank you.” 

Jessica laughs again and shakes her head at herself when both men look at her, their eyebrows furrowed, “I’m so sorry,” she says, clearing her throat, “It’s just…wherever Haley and Elizabeth are right now, I know they would have got such a kick out of Jack telling you off, Dad.” 

___

Aaron sighs as he closes the door behind Roy and Jess, briefly leaning his head against it before he makes sure the locks are in place. 

“Long day, huh?” 

He turns to look at his wife and smiles at her, opening his arms for her to slip into his embrace, “Long day,” he repeats, kissing the top of her head, “Where are the kids?” 

“Eliza is sleeping, and Jack is reading Zach a book,” she says, smiling up at him, “So we might have 5 whole uninterrupted minutes to ourselves,” she says with enthusiasm as if she was talking about a lottery win or a luxury cruise, “Want to snuggle until someone needs us for something?” 

“With you? Always,” he says, cupping her cheek and leaning in to kiss her before he leads her to the living room. They sit on the couch together and she settles into his side, breathing him in and letting his comfort wash over her, “You ok, sweetheart?”

She shrugs, because she’s really not sure how to answer the question, “I guess. I don’t know. She would have loved watching Jack tell Roy off.” 

He chuckles, “Jess said the same thing,” he tilts his head to look at her, “You heard everything?” 

She nods, her smile turning sad, “It was sweet. Zach heard too, and he asked me if it meant Jack was his real brother,” she says, her heart aching when Aaron sighs, his eyes closing as he shakes his head, “But I reminded him about Haley, how she was Jack’s first mom. He understands it all as best as he can.” 

“I wish it was simpler sometimes,” Aaron says as he opens his eyes to look at her.

“I know,” she replies, reaching up and pushing his hair out of his eyes, “But if it was simpler, it wouldn’t be our family.” There’s a cry from upstairs and Emily groans, leaning forward to press her forehead into Aaron’s chest. “That girl is relentless.” 

“Wonder where she got that from,” Aaron mutters and Emily pulls back to look at him, her eyes narrowed.

“What did you say?” 

“I said, you stay here, I’ll go get her,” he says quickly, kissing her forehead and standing up. 

She shakes her head at him as he leaves the room and sinks back onto the couch. She sighs as she looks around the room, her gaze locking on a picture from when Zachary was a baby that is framed and on the coffee table. In it, Elizabeth is sitting down with Jack on her left and Emily on her right, and a tiny little Zachary in her arms. 

Emily picks it up and she traces her finger over the edge of it, smiling sadly at her own reflection that she can partially see in the glass. She looks at her mother, at the joy in her eyes, the happiness she would have once joked the woman was incapable of and she chuckles, her vision going blurry as tears gather in her eyes. When she speaks, it’s quiet, a secret just between herself and someone she isn’t even entirely sure is watching. 

“Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.”

-x-

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