#it happens in real life

[ernestnott]

Wolfstar :

Remus and Sirius’ flat is a come and go house. Almost all their friends have a key to the flat. And sometimes someone will crash on their couch without warning them.

One night, after a late date night who ended at 2am, they find the door of the flat locked and impossible to open. They knock but no one answers. So, Remus just decids they should take a hotel so they can sleep and take care of it the next day.

Sirius is outraged, she complains a lot « we’ve been kicked out of our own flat Moony ! During a date night !! It’s homophobic !! We should have just sleep on the porch so whoever decided to KICKED US out of our OWN flat feels sorry for us ! ». Remus who is very much not sleeping on the porch just shakes his head with fondness and take his girlfriend’s hand.

The next day, after a breakfast in bed to appease Sirius, they return to the flat and a hungover Peter who had forgot to take his key out of the door is the one to opening to them. « Traitor !! » screams Sirius while pointing at Peter.

Peter is feeling so guilty about it that for a month, every morning, he bakes Sirius her favourite pastries (it’s pain au raisin).

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[christadeguchi]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[stuckinapril]

don't stress about that opportunity that fell through or that friend you lost or that thing you really want to happen but isn't. as long as you keep your chin up and try try try again, better things will replace your losses. i'm looking at my life rn and actually marveling at how every single thing i stressed about, whether it be an opportunity or a person, got supplanted w another thing that is so much better. it really is true that loss makes space for better things. these days i don't get sad when something doesn't work out. i get excited that i'm now open to so many other possibilities out there, so long as i actively seek them. you never lack. you just transition.

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[fanficmemes]

I really do adore the kind of character who would rather make everything worse than even try to fix the problem. Yeah man, fuck communicating with your friends, blow the place to hell!!!

[wotchernewt]

seriously though nothing can stop me from interpreting Real Life as canon just for how it progresses the canary curse situation. i'm obsessed with it. the curse gets broken in secret life and then in the very next "series", as much of a joke as it is, you get a situation like THAT. jimmy enters a mineshaft and everyone but him dies. not just his team, though obviously it's more significant because they were all red, but ren/martyn/skizz all get a mineshaft-death apiece. that canary's not doing his job anymore. he escaped his cage and made a break for the surface and everyone else is paying the price for it, and i for one could not be more proud of that little bird.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Who's this old fart

[lazylittledragon]

i’m slowly going full clown and i’m ok with that

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[euthymiaaa]

— taking a bath with a lover *ੈ✩‧₊˚

non-sexual & a bit silly lol, enjoy!!

✧ after an exhausting day, what other way to relax your partner than preparing them a warm, blissful bath?

✧ dousing the bathtub with their favorite aromatic flowers and oils

✧ “honey, what’s with all of this in the bathroom?” “you came back early? the surprise got ruined!”

✧ aiding them undress, yet it takes longer than usual because you keep getting their clothes tangled

✧ lending a hand to cautiously help them get into the pool of water

✧ "gosh it's the perfect temperature" "oh thank god, i thought it would still be too hot"

✧ blowing soap bubbles into their face to briefly annoy them

✧ "aren't you going to join me darling?" "if you insist"

✧ relaxing them by delicately massaging their hair in circles with shampoo

✧ “careful! you’re going to get shampoo in my eyes!” “oh quit being so dramatic”

✧ listening about their day whilst lightly massaging the knots in their back

✧ peppering tender kisses along their exposed shoulder

✧ “i never realized you have so many moles around here”

✧ tracing their scars with the tips of your fingers

✧ them burying their head into your neck, eyelids getting heavy out of tiredness

✧ “you better clean up after” "yes, your highness"

✧ "even though this was a mess, i'm glad i could spend time with you like this"

[mumblesplash]

actually tumblr does have pvp enabled it’ scalled you assholes circling around my perfectly normal posts and chanting “containment breach” until it summons the bloodthirsty swarm of psychic piranhas this site has instead of an algorithm

[bellamysgriffin]

ULTIMATE SHIPS CHALLENGE - First Kisses [5/7]

[worfsbarmitzvah]

there’s such an attitude among ex-christian atheists that religions just spring up out of the void with no cultural context behind them. like ive heard people say shit like “those (((zionists))) think they own a piece of land bc their book of fairy tales told them so!!!” and they refuse to understand that no, we don’t belong there because of the torah, it’s in the torah because we belong there. because we’re from there. the torah (from a reform perspective) was written by ancient jews in and about the land that they were actively living on at the time. the torah contains instructions for agriculture because the people who lived in the land needed a way to teach their children how to care for it. it contains laws of jurisprudence because those are pretty important to have when you’re trying to run a society. same for the parts that talk about city planning. it contains our national origin story for the same reason that american schools teach kids about the boston tea party. it’s an extremely complex and fascinating text that is the furthest thing from just a “book of fairy tales”