#it gives me chills going there by myself
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#i used to come here with my grandpa my brother and my cousin#we would play with the water because it was summer and it was hot#my grandma's house was not too far away so sometimes we would ride our bikes here#it gives me chills going there by myself#I would probably cry if it was all four of us together too#i love it#i love the melancholic feeling i get looking at that photo#the nostalgia#i also almost dropped my phone#oopsie#melancholy#(:#childhood memories#photography#art
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I’m at my theater job rn and it’s my first shift all by myself. Super nervous!!! But I’m planning to make!!!! hundreds of dollars!!!! so I can!!!! buy myself a cameo for my birthday!!!!! (That’s the hope anyway lol) wish me luck!!!!!
#woof#I’m not having any anxiety attacks in the parking lot so that’s a GREAT improvement LOL#when I met the BrBa actor IRL I'm getting a cameo from (again) he was so excited and even#remembered me by name from cameo requests 😭💖#and held my hands and gave me hugs and said the Salamanca brothers would 100% protect me from ANYONE#he was like ‘ptsd is so fucked up girl :( dw me and my boy gotchu’ the way he phrased that is so funny#every other day I think to myself ‘ptsd is so fucked up girl :(‘ djfjdhdjhfkdh#if I reach out for a birthday cameo I would love to hear Marco say he loves his princesa. again. hehe#he was so so chill with the nickname ooghghghh he was so kind#I paid for one video in person with the twins but they both gave me two videos and wouldn’t let me leave until I got what I wanted#they spent 17 minutes with me the first day and almost 30 the second day 😭💖#I WANT A CAMEO FROM HIM AGAIN!!!! I gotta make money!!!!!#I don’t wanna go inside. I have to go inside now. AAAAAHHHHHH#I HATE THIS JOB I CANT EVEN BEACH HERE#HERE I GO!!! I brought my ken heart shaped pin in my pocket to give me strength#time to make so much money cmon let’s go let’s GO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i’m trying my hardest to not act how i feel
#tw: directed fp vent#it feels like you don’t love me anymore#even when i’m in the same room as you.. it’s so heartbreaking to watch you bond with other people when you should be giving me the attention#all i want is you to show me you love me when we’re alone#it’s the only time we have together.. just us.. but you go and play games with your friends on discord while i chill in the background#taking stab after stab every time you laugh or say you love them#i know we’re not partners so i shouldn’t feel this way but i fucking do#and i want you.. more than i’ve ever wanted anyone in my life#you just never seem to understand why i get so upset#it’s because I WANT YOU#all to myself#i should be the center of your mind.. like you are in mine#it just.. fuck it sucks being in love with someone so oblivious and against it#idk how to tag this#bpd vent#bpd fp#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#actually borderline#bpd favorite person#bpd shitposting#bpd#bpd problems#bpd mood#i would but the tag beloved.txt with this but i don’t really want to put it there if he ever finds out the tag about him
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I think stanning them is the single most boring thing you can do to a character.
Like, I love Iruka. Iruka's my blorbo from my manga since my teens. He's a caring adult who used to be a conflicted kid hiding his sorrow with laughter, what's there not to like? Him speaking his mind about the chuunin exam spoke to me for extremely relatable reasons. He's my projection character.
And you know what? There's nothing more interesting to me than exploring his faults. Please let's discuss his lack of self-control, getting so riled up during the chuunin exam nominations. Let's talk about his failures with regards to Sasuke, who had good grades and didn't act out so Iruka didn't pay him much mind even though Sasuke should have been flagged as a traumatized child. Iruka playing favorites. Iruka using his connections to keep playing favorites because he's worried... about his favorite. Iruka not fitting the shinobi mold. Iruka being lame. Iruka who spent years being a stern teacher to Naruto and apparently didn't think worth mentioning that he saw and appreciated Naruto's efforts until it was almost too late. Iruka failing.
Anyway, stanning is the single most boring and unproductive and dishonest thing you can do to a character
#naruto#umino iruka#iruka umino#anyway I'm using Iruka as an example because no one can accuse me of being impartial to him I am SO PARTIAL that is MY BOY right there#but tbh this is actually about kakashi because#i realized a kakashi stan replied to playfully kakashi-critical tags of mine months ago by taking offense to them#and i've been sitting here being very good at not replying to them because I'm trying to be a REASONABLE PERSON#(which is VERY DIFFICULT seeing as I'm a ball of barely contained indignation at the world)#'(girl it's been months can you chill have a kitkat' (i say to myself))#but I'm actually deeply frustrated to have someone go 'who wouldn't be offended [about a meaningless criticism of their favorite]' at me#i'd hope NO ONE would be offended by that#seeing as your fave is a FICTIONAL CHARACTER#anyway if you really like a character you should be more than willing to consider their faults and enjoy them#it's the spice that gives them flavor??? why are you taking it away?!#you can always disagree with somebody's interpretation of what is and isn't a fault#but what are you doiiiiing taking their defense#they're not reaaaaaal#Anyway I don't have sweets at home so I'll go eat some fruit#carrot has an opinion#fandom wank
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Hi! I love your Naruto thoughts and meta posts with all my heart and I want to ask your thoughts on something that has been on my mind literally since I was 13: what do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura? I went from being a hardcore shipper when I was a teenager, to being against any romantic relationship in Naruto after finishing the anime when I was in my early twenties. Nowadays I'm very into platonic love and depictions of friendship and I think the anime's obsession with forcing the "romantic interest" curse upon the main female character robbed us of... so much. There are a few wonderful moments in the anime where Sasuke and Sakura acknowledge each other, but because she's always "the girl with the crush", her actions are so often interpret as irrational or selfish by the fandom.
Hi @riemmetric! It's great to talk to you again! Sorry it's taken me so long to answer this; RL has been making demands of me lately and it took me way longer to finish writing this up than I wanted it to (then again, I knew from the minute I read your original ask that my reply was going to get long, so I suppose I should have predicted a delay XD)
It's funny, my sister once asked me to choose between Sasuke or Sakura for an “unpopular opinion” meme, and I ended up doing Sasuke solely because I think the negative fandom opinions about Sakura are so unhinged and divorced from the actual text that I wouldn’t even know where to start. People are entitled to dislike whatever characters they want, obviously, but there are some fandom takes that are, for me, so obviously rooted in bad faith viewings/readings that there’s no urge in me to discuss them. That said, since you asked, I’m happy to go into my own thoughts on this a bit, with the disclaimer for other potential readers that I only write about fandom things for my own personal enjoyment, not as a contribution to The Discourse. If you don’t like Sakura, great! I have no interest in changing your mind. Please consider this a sincere invitation to scroll on by and go enjoy whatever parts of the fandom appeal to you.
In general terms: I love Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship as much as I love all of the relationships in Team 7. If we’re talking about them specifically as a romantic couple, then I probably fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, because I do like them together in a post-canon (to be clear: non-Boruto) setting, after time has passed and they’ve continued to develop individually and reconnect with each other, but I also wouldn’t exactly call myself an intense “shipper,” in the sense that I have no interest in pulling things out from the text and incorrectly citing them as evidence that Sasuke has hidden romantic feelings for her during the canon period. He cares about her in the canon period, just like he cares about Naruto and Kakashi. That’s not up for interpretation; it’s the text. But Sasuke during the canon time period does not demonstrate specifically romantic interest in anyone.
[A note before people who might ship Sasuke with Someone Else emerge to rail against this statement - please just scroll past and continue enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you. It is cool to ship whatever fanon thing you want; I think that’s great! But earnestly citing any loving or emotional thing Sasuke does re: various characters in this story (yes, Sakura included) as indicative of specifically romantic love isn’t supported by the text. I know there are always going to be enormous subsets of any fandom who insist that it is, and I'm certainly not going to barge into anyone else's space to complain about that (because other people having fun together is harmless and none of my business), but I'm not obligated to indulge it on my own blog, either.]
Anyway, that said - the reason why I love Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship (from here on out I’ll use “relationship” in a general, non-romantic sense) is precisely because Sakura isn’t just “the girl with the crush.” Sakura has an arc when it comes to Sasuke, and its trajectory moves in the exact opposite direction of “irrational” or “selfish.” She specifically goes from “the girl with the crush” to “the girl who steels herself and tries to put her personal feelings for Sasuke aside for the greater good” to “the girl who knows she can’t put her feelings aside, but who also knows full well that Sasuke doesn’t reciprocate them, and who still wants to save him regardless, because he matters to her as a person and a friend.”
[I'm putting the rest of this under a cut to save everyone's dash, and also to emphasize once again that this is a personal post on my personal blog which I wrote in response to a question from a personal acquaintance, the full content of which no one is obligated to read. I am not sending this post to random strangers and forcing them to look at it. I'm not even putting it in the character tags. I'm typing it up on my own blog and putting it under a cut. If you already know that you don't like Sakura, but you still click the link/read the post and then feel an urge to comment and complain, I am going to copy-paste this disclaimer and remind you that I specifically recommended that you scroll past and go have fun with fandom in your own way. Thanks in advance for responsibly curating your own fandom experience!]
So, from the top:
1. the girl with the crush
Sakura is, obviously, completely obsessed with Sasuke at the beginning of Part 1. She’s also deeply clueless about him and his history (bizarre though it is, the story seems to indicate that she initially doesn’t know what happened with his family, the same way young!Obito is initially clueless about Kakashi’s father). But what I like about Sakura and Sasuke’s Part 1 relationship is how this changes over time.
The critical scene that kicks this off happens right at the beginning of the manga, when she and Sasuke are talking by that bench - she complains about Naruto and blames his behavior on him being all alone/having no family to scold him; and even says she’s jealous that he doesn’t have parents to nag him all the time. This obviously triggers an outburst from Sasuke, who tells her she has no idea what loneliness means and that she “makes him sick”/she’s “annoying” (importantly, the exact same thing Sakura said to Naruto in anger earlier that day), which in turn prompts Sakura to reassess herself and wonder whether she’s been making Naruto feel this terrible all the time, too:
From that point on, it’s a process of her putting little pieces together. She still has a MAJOR crush, and she still acts like a twelve year-old, but as we approach the end of Part I, Sakura actually has a more accurate grasp on Sasuke’s current state of mind than Naruto does. Naruto is initially excited to fight Sasuke on top of the hospital, because he feels like Sasuke’s finally acknowledging him, whereas Sakura is the one who immediately recognizes that something is wrong about this situation. She is also the one who, after this fight, is concerned that Sasuke is really unwell and might do something drastic like run off in pursuit of the power Orochimaru promised him, but when she communicates this to Naruto, he assures her that this would NEVER happen:
(Sakura isn't convinced, though, because she goes to monitor the exit out of the village anyway.)
I’m not criticizing Naruto for his response here. I ADORE hearing him say that Sasuke is too strong to need Orochimaru, with such perfect confidence - I love seeing how much respect and admiration he has for Sasuke underneath all their fighting, because that’s the whole reason he’s always baiting Sasuke and yelling at him and claiming “you're not so great!” He looks up to Sasuke; he wants to be like Sasuke; he thinks Sasuke is awesome! (It’s that Obito @ Kakashi behavior, you know?) But the fact remains that he is clueless about what’s actually going on with Sasuke in Part 1, and he remains clueless(ly optimistic) for a long time.
(Eg, when he catches up to Sasuke during the retrieval arc and Sasuke climbs out of that cursed seal coffin, Naruto waves at him and calls "Come on, let's go!" as if Sasuke has been successfully rescued and is now going to come running home. Even in Part II, when Naruto hears that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he beams and immediately says, “So he must be on his way back to the Leaf Village!” And everyone else in the room is like, “....,” because they know better. Naruto doesn’t yet fully understand [or doesn't want to accept] the extent to which Sasuke has willingly chosen this path, and it’s not until after Jiraiya’s death/the Pain attack/the Five Kage Summit that Naruto really starts to understand Sasuke more clearly, which is something he himself admits.)
Sakura, in Part 1, has access to more information about Sasuke - she’s there for his first dissociative monologue during the bells test, she’s there for the curse mark’s placement, she’s there for his first violent transformation in the Forest of Death - she is, in fact, the unwitting catalyst for it (“Sakura…who did this to you?”), and her compassion is the reason Sasuke is later able to overcome the curse mark’s influence - so she has a more accurate/complete picture of “how he’s doing,” for lack of a better phrase, whereas Naruto, who doesn’t know about the curse mark in the first place, is still in the dark. This means that Sakura is able to accurately discern that Sasuke is struggling more than Naruto realizes, and specifically to predict that he’s going to run away.
(This dynamic is then interestingly flipped in the back half of Part II, since at any point after the Five Kage Summit, Sakura doesn’t have access to extremely relevant [if currently questionable and unproven] details that would in any other circumstance inform her behavior).
Of course, just because she has more info in Part 1 doesn’t mean she has some kind of miraculous insight into Sasuke’s every thought and feeling. There are parts of her attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village that are as clueless as any of Naruto’s assumptions, and they showcase the kind of magical thinking common to childhood - like when she says that if he stayed with her, she could give him happiness, she’d do anything for him, even help him get his revenge - this idea that she herself can do something to make him feel better, that she can love him powerfully enough to defeat his pain - obviously none of that is rooted in realism.
Is this part of her approach irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered? Of course it is! But it’s no more irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered than Naruto’s stated plan to drag Sasuke back to the village even if he has to “break every bone in [his] body!”
Hating on Sakura for her Part 1 attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village while simultaneously lauding Naruto for his feels like a bad faith misread of what is, to me, pretty clear narrative intention. The story doesn’t at any point intend for us to see her begging him to stay as a selfish or conniving attempt to get something she wants. She’s begging him to stay for the same underlying reason that Naruto is: she cares about him. She thinks he’s making a mistake that will only cause him more pain in the end (she’s right) and she wants to make it so he feels less pain right now (she can’t. But she doesn’t understand that/isn’t able to admit that, and she’s willing to try ANYTHING that might help).
It’s critical that this farewell scene is set in front of that same bench from their first important confrontation - she references that day and how angry he got at her, and this time she tells him that she understands his reaction. She’s learned things and she recognizes how insensitive she was being back then (“I know what happened to your clan, Sasuke”), even though she still can’t fully grasp all the complexities of the situation. She tells him that him blowing up at her back then helped her understand what loneliness actually meant (as opposed to her previous shallow understanding of it), and she challenges him about his choice right now: "So that's it, you're choosing the lonely path?" And when she tells him that she'll be very lonely if he leaves, we're immediately shown a panel of Sasuke thinking of both his friends, with the very clear implication that if he goes through with this, he will be lonely without them, too - that he's still struggling with the idea of leaving them, no matter how hard he tries to pretend:
Sakura at this point knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her the way she is in him, but she still wants to give him happiness, however fantastical and immature her ideas sound to us (and, I’m sure, to him). “I’ll do anything, even help you get your revenge/we'll have fun every day, and...and you'll be happy! I'll make sure of it!” - of course, it’s completely childish. It’s irrational. It’s ridiculous to think that any of this would ever be effective, but no more ridiculous than Naruto’s belief that he can simply break every bone in Sasuke’s body and keep him in the Leaf by force.
Both Naruto and Sakura are children who have a deeply oversimplified understanding of Sasuke’s situation. They both still think they can fix him themselves. They both think they can save him themselves. They both think they can convince (or force) him to do what they want, what they think is in his best interests. Both of them don’t yet understand that he has to want to come back, if it’s ever going to mean anything. Their attempts to keep him in the village are immature and unrealistic, yes. What they aren’t, however, is selfish, because neither Sakura nor Naruto are doing any of this with the intention of advancing their own interests. They’re only thinking about Sasuke - how to keep Sasuke safe, how to make Sasuke happy - even when neither of them are taking an approach that will actually work.
Naruto and Sakura are children. They’re afraid of losing somebody they care about. Their attempts to prevent that from happening are desperate and messy and ultimately ineffective, but they are also genuinely felt and rooted in a true desire to rescue Sasuke from his pain, which - and this is the single most important thing that should impact our viewing of Part 1 - is something that Sasuke RECOGNIZES. He doesn’t spend that agonizingly long moment bowed over Naruto’s defeated body so we can pretend he doesn’t understand that Naruto was just trying to help him. He doesn’t take the time to murmur, “Sakura…thank you,” before laying her out carefully on a bench, just so we can discount it and pretend that he doesn’t recognize and appreciate her genuine intention to make things better for him, however clumsy that attempt might have been.
2. the greater good
If Stage 1 Sakura is "the girl with the crush," then Stage 2 Sakura is a progression to “the girl who decides to put her feelings for Sasuke aside in order to protect innocent people, including (but certainly not limited to) Naruto.” She’s driven to this decision by interactions with Shikamaru, who all too recently had to grow up fast himself (“We're not kids anymore...we can't allow a war to break out between the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Cloud because of Sasuke") and Sai, who risks his new friendship with Sakura and Team 7 in order to speak some hard truths and deliver one of my favorite lines in the whole story: “I don’t know what promise Naruto made to you, but it’s really no different than what was done to me. It’s like a curse mark.”
(INCREDIBLE. How can anybody be complaining about a season where Sai gets to say something that goes THIS HARD and Sakura LISTENS and takes DRAMATIC ACTION that actually propels the story forward in a meaningful way - )
[Okay, yeah, brief personal opinion interlude - it is just bonkers wild to me that there are people who complain about Sakura in the Five Kage Summit arc. That entire season is the greatest character arc she ever has. Literally she has never been more interesting and dynamic than in Season 10; it’s the first time she ever gets to be as deep and fascinating as the boys; what is everybody so worked up about? Oh, “she lied to Naruto that one time” - Sasuke joined infant-kidnapping baby-murdering human experimentation machine Orochimaru when he was twelve years old in order to (dare I say it????) selfishly pursue his personal goals and yet, somehow, we are still able to root for him. He abandoned his friends/allies to imprisonment and death (Suigetsu and Jūgo) or outright stabbed them in the chest himself (Karin) in order to (SELFISHLY) get what he wanted, and yet, somehow, we are still able to love him, understand him, and be on his side. Naruto is canonically not upset with Sakura about her lie after receiving context for the situation and I think we can probably take our cues from him without feeling the need to bring her up on war crimes; please calm down]
[Sorry, I just really love most of Season 10 and think it’s one of the best examples of how good this story can be when every single character gets to do something that matters (as opposed to things being all Naruto, all the time) so I get a little bit worked up over people complaining about some of the best writing Sakura ever gets. I don’t understand what certain elements of fandom want from her. People complain about her being “useless” and not doing anything that contributes to the story, but then they complain just as much when she does finally get to act decisively and have just as complex/dynamic an inner world as the boys. She’s “weak” for being unreasonably in love with Sasuke, but when she tries to be “strong” and put her love for him aside and eliminate him in order to protect Naruto and the rest of the world, she’s evil, because she should have been more understanding of his situation (despite the fact that she doesn’t KNOW anything about his situation). But then when she can’t go through with killing him after all because she cares about him too much despite the things he’s done, she’s not "compassionate" or "kind" or "a good friend," she’s “weak” again. Nothing Sakura does in S10 is more wrongheaded or rash than any of the batshit, buckwild things Naruto and Sasuke have done in the past (and will continue to do in the future), but when Naruto and Sasuke have big feelings or take bold action, it makes them interesting characters, whereas Sakura can’t breathe in anyone’s direction without being minutely scrutinized for moral impurities.]
Anyway. Back to a more measured response.
Every single piece of development Sakura has with regard to Sasuke in this season satisfies me so much. Her initial shock and disbelief at hearing that Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki? Good, appropriate. The fact that she starts to acknowledge the reality of what Sasuke’s done sooner than Naruto does? Also extremely appropriate, very in-character for both of them. Her taking Sai’s words to heart and deciding that the promise she asked Naruto to make when they were children is causing him to suffer and she has to relieve him of that burden? Juicy! AND thematically significant (promises!!!! the burden that a promise places on a person, especially when it can't be kept - we've seen that before in this story and we'll see it again). Her anguished pivot from wanting to protect Sasuke to realizing that she has a responsibility to protect the countless innocents who will die because of the war he’s trying to start? HELLO THIS IS INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Her knocking out the classmates who agreed to help her so they don’t have to share in her burden (and so the only person Naruto will hate when it’s over is her)? BRUH. Her being so committed and focused on her goal of saving innocents and protecting Naruto (not just from being harmed by Sasuke/the Akatsuki, but by the possibility that Naruto will someday have to hurt Sasuke himself) that she tries to take everything on by herself and walks into a confrontation that she absolutely cannot win?? INCREDIBLE. (Literally the first time I watched this, I said, “Finally!!! It’s Sakura’s turn to go off the rails!” I laughed with my sister about how Kakashi isn’t even mad, because Naruto and Sasuke have been pulling stunts like this for years and Sakura was way overdue for her own meltdown.) And then, after Kakashi intervenes in the fight - Sakura barreling back into the battle when she realizes he’s going to take on the burden of killing Sasuke himself in order to spare her and Naruto the horror - “I can’t let Kakashi-sensei bear this burden!” I love her for that.
And then, of course, in the end - her not being able to do hurt Sasuke after all. Despite committing herself to the act, despite forcing herself to put her feelings for him aside, despite resolving to stop him from starting a war and killing innocent people, she can’t harm him. She cares about him too much. This, too, is thematically significant - think about Itachi’s “you don’t have enough hatred” - she doesn’t have enough hatred to kill someone she cares about, even if it seems like he deserves it, even if would be the right thing to do to protect others. She can’t do it, and Sasuke almost kills her for her compassion.
I love the dynamic this sets up between her and Sasuke, for a few reasons:
1) Personally, I think Sasuke respects Sakura much more for trying to kill him than he would have if she’d just tried to talk him out of his behavior or beg him to come home (a la their original confrontation in Part 1). This is the first significant interaction he’s had with Sakura in years, and the fact that she does something SO contrary to his memory of her is an important demonstration of the fact that she’s not the same girl she used to be. Sasuke spends a lot of time after his defection declaring to his old team “I’ve changed; I’m not that person anymore,” but this is one of the moments where he’s forced to acknowledge that his teammates have changed, too. Time didn’t just stop for them when he left. While he was turning into someone new, so were they. They grew up without him, and his old memories of them can’t encompass the whole picture of who they are now.
(This is a little tangential, but in general, I love the spectrum of reactions that Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi have in this sequence, and the way that all of them are ultimately messages Sasuke needs to hear. Sasuke - who we know textually regrets what he did here, who apologizes to Sakura for it later - for “everything,” in fact - needs Naruto’s aggressively optimistic open-arms policy, yes, needs that potential, that unconditional possibility of return. He also needs Sakura’s refusal to let him hurt her friends and start a war that will kill thousands of people, needs her surprisingly ruthless attempt to take him down; needs just as much her failure to do so, because it shows him that she still loves him too much to kill him even as she condemns him. And he needs Kakashi’s grim line in the sand, needs someone who very possibly won't hesitate like Sakura (despite the horrifying personal cost), someone who will try to reach him but also won't let him escape and become the next generation’s Orochimaru, who won't let him cause untold suffering to untold numbers of people just because a teacher loved him too much to stop him when he had the chance.
(And then even Kakashi chooses not to deliver a killing blow when he has the opportunity -)
(I know that in fandom people are more likely to be all, “oh, Naruto Good, everybody else Bad,” but I don’t think the narrative frames Sakura or Kakashi as “worse” than Naruto in any way. The story goes out of its way to make it clear how desperately they don’t want to hurt Sasuke and how much they care about him. And [this is just my interpretation, so obviously I won’t claim it as fact], I personally think that Sasuke - Sasuke, who, looking back, can see how lost he was then and how tortured he would have been if he’d gone through with many of his plans - would be grateful to Sakura and Kakashi for making an attempt to stop him when he couldn’t stop himself.)
2) On the other side of this, the fact that Sakura wasn’t able to deliver the killing blow means a lot. Sasuke was incapacitated under that bridge; he was completely at her mercy - but she stopped with the kunai an inch from his back. She couldn’t kill him, even though she knew that he was completely willing to kill her (because he'd attempted to Chidori-assassinate her from behind just a few minutes ago). That’s huge! Sasuke is too out of his head right now to process this or understand it, but later, it's going to matter. She stayed her hand. She spared his life. She loved him too much to hurt him, even when he’d given her every reason to take him down. She hesitated, and he almost killed her for it, but her inability to strike him ultimately gave him yet another chance to come home, another chance to get better, another chance to have a life outside of his pain. Despite everything, some part of her still hadn’t really given up on him, and that knowledge will matter later, when he’s finally able to acknowledge it.
The point of all this is to say that I really have no complaints about Sakura and Sasuke’s dynamic in their S10 confrontation. This season is the point where Sakura fully grows past her “girl with a crush” stage and into her “shinobi must make very harsh decisions” adulthood, but it never means that she doesn’t care about the person she’s trying to take down. Her ultimate inability to deliver the killing blow remains a dangling lifeline for her relationship with Sasuke, an open door that Sasuke is able to walk through at the end of the story (literally, in fact, when Sakura opens that portal for him and saves him from Kaguya’s desert prison, and figuratively, too, when Sasuke apologizes to her).
3. she only wants to save you
The last stage in their relationship is what Sakura settles into during the war arc. She started off Part 1 being just a girl with a crush, then tried to harden her heart and put her feelings for Sasuke aside in service of the greater good, but she was unable to actually follow through and kill him, and because of that, what she’s come to accept by the war arc is actually two things: that 1) Sasuke truly is willing to let her die if it furthers his goals, and 2) she wants to save him anyway.
She has no intention of pursuing Sasuke romantically. She knows full well that Sasuke isn’t interested in her. She even knows that Sasuke isn’t really on their side (there’s a great scene where Sai questions Sakura about Sasuke’s return, and she reassures him that everything is fine, and Sai sadly thinks to himself “even I can tell your smile is fake”). She’s well-aware that Sasuke didn’t try to help her when Madara stabbed her. She’s well-aware that he left her to die in the lava pit. She’s also well-aware that none of this is enough to make her stop loving him. He doesn’t have to care about her - she still cares about him. She still wants to help him. She still wants to save him.
This is not hidden, hard-to-parse character development. It’s explicitly articulated on the page:
Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you.
I’m not sure if people look at this last confrontation and unquestioningly take Sasuke at his word (as if we haven’t just read 71 volumes/watched 700 episodes showing us how how painfully distorted his thinking is), or if they stop reading/watching before the end of the scene, or if they don’t understand that Sasuke saying something doesn’t make that statement an accurate representation of reality. The entire point of this scene is to show us how deeply mistaken Sasuke is about Sakura (and, by extension, the rest of Team 7). He’s locked into a false pattern of thinking. His single-minded focus on revenge and destruction has blinded him to the unconditional love his friends feel for him; he’s become so accustomed to using others and being used that he can’t understand or accept that someone would care about him without needing a reason, without needing him to love them back, without needing to receive something from him in exchange.
Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you.
Sasuke matters to Sakura as more than a love interest. He always has. She does love him romantically, yes, but she doesn’t only love him romantically, and her desire to help him is not and has never been contingent on him returning her feelings, romantically or otherwise. Sasuke isn’t able to acknowledge that in this scene, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to just sit back and agree with his warped perspective. Kakashi is the one who’s explicitly positioned as the voice of the narrative here. We, as the audience, are supposed to recognize that Kakashi is the one telling us the truth.
[tangential thing 1: You don’t have to love Sakura's last plea to Sasuke here. It’s not my favorite, either - the best part, other than Kakashi’s speech at the end, is the moment after Kakashi collapses when Sakura’s expression changes from pained uncertainty to pure rage, when she grits her teeth together - when I first saw that, I almost leapt out of my seat like “Oh my god. She’s finally going to let him have it. It’s finally happening - ” I wanted that so badly, and I still think it would have been a more effective writing choice for Sakura’s last words to lean more into her anger at the suffering Sasuke is causing all of them (himself included!) and less into yet another of Kishimoto’s “let me have Sakura articulate what a shame it is that she can’t do as much as Naruto despite the fact that I literally just went through a major reveal sequence in the war to show that she’s caught up to the boys; I can’t make up my mind about whether I want her to progress or not” - it’s extremely frustrating (and it's something he does at the very end of the S10 Team 7 reunion, too, which is the ONLY moment of S10 that falls flat for me). But at the same time, even if there are ways this sequence could be more satisfying, it doesn’t change the fact that her plea to him is not remotely motivated by a desire to be with him romantically and not anything to condemn her for.]
[tangential thing 2: I do like how she remembers that moment when Sasuke says “Thank you.” That panel precedes her saying “If there’s even a tiny corner of your heart that thinks about me…” (which I’m sure is one of the things that people like to criticize about this scene, aka “oh she’s sooooo self-centered” etc), but that particular line of dialogue is preceded by that particular flashback panel for a reason: Sakura knows that Sasuke DOES think about her. He thinks about all of them. Sakura remembers that “thank you,” and it reminds her that despite everything Sasuke has done and said since, despite all evidence to the contrary, she knows in her bones that his expression of gratitude back then was genuine. He cared about her once. He cared about all of them. She’s trying to reach the part of him that still does, if it exists.]
[tangential thing 3: The fact that Kakashi says “she suffers from loving you,” and it triggers Sasuke to remember his own family - thinking about how much he suffered (and still suffers) from loving them - “Perhaps…those are the ties to a failed past” - the idea that it’s not worth it to have bonds if it means you suffer this much…that it’s too difficult, it’s too painful, and if Sakura and the rest of Team 7 were smarter they would just give it up (all Sasuke knows how to do now is sever potential bonds before they can hurt him; so why aren’t Sakura and the rest of his teammates doing that, why can’t they let it go, why are they making this so hard - ) << yeah, he clearly doesn't care about her/them at all.]
4. the shadow of my family
This has all been a really long way to answer the original question, but the short response to “What do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura?” is “I really care about it,” just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Kakashi. And I don’t think the story ever asks me to choose between them.
I’m not sure whether it’s the impact of Boruto-era “canon” that gets in the way of other people approaching things this way (I don’t consider sequel material when I evaluate the original story), or if it’s Kishimoto’s frequent disinterest in/disrespect towards female characters, which yes, does sometimes make it harder, or if it's a shipping thing (bane of my existence), or some combination of factors, but for me, taking one member of Team 7 out of the equation hobbles the rest of the story. I can’t read/watch Naruto while hating one of the protagonists and loving the other three. It doesn’t work like that for me. The story wasn’t written that way, and there’s nothing in the text that would cause me to receive it that way.
That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with disliking one of the main foursome (or any character, for that matter) - obviously we're all going to have different preferences, and everyone is free to enjoy or reject whatever parts of a story they want, or to like or dislike whatever characters they want. I know that some people have more fun disregarding canon and doing their own thing, which is fine. My own personal zone of enjoyment comes from receiving the story as closely to how I think it was intended to be read as I can, and personally, when I look at this particular story, what I see is that all the members of Team 7 clearly demonstrate their love for Sasuke in ways that he himself later recognizes and acknowledges. All of them are driven by their desire to save him and their unwillingness to hurt him. All of them make repeated choices to chase after him when he runs away, to trust him when he hasn't exactly earned it, to give him another chance when he doesn't appear to deserve it. ALL of them, not just Naruto, do these things multiple times throughout the story, and Sasuke owes his life (and thus his eventual recovery) to ALL of them, many times over. Kakashi disobeys Hokage-elect Danzō and breaks the law to negotiate for Sasuke's life with a foreign head of state. Sakura and Kakashi both have opportunities to kill Sasuke in the Land of Iron, and they choose to spare him instead. Kakashi stops Sasuke from killing his only friends at two different points in the story, which would have been a mistake Sasuke couldn't have recovered from. Sasuke would have died in Kaguya's desert dimension if Sakura hadn't saved him (Sakura, who knew that Sasuke wasn't even truly on her side yet, who knew he'd abandoned her for dead multiple times already that day). Kaguya's bone bullet would have killed Sasuke too, if Kakashi, with his intention to die in Sasuke's place, hadn't leapt in front of it (Kakashi, who also knew that Sasuke wasn't fully on their side yet, who also knew that Sasuke had abandoned him for dead earlier that day). Sasuke and Naruto would have BOTH died in the Final Valley if Sakura and a severely injured Kakashi hadn't chased after them to heal their injuries.
Remove any one member of Team 7, and Sasuke never makes it home. Without the combined efforts of all three of his teammates, he doesn't survive. That’s the way it should be, thematically, for a story whose first and most foundational premise was the importance of teamwork, and since Sakura was just as essential to that framework as everyone else, I’m just as invested in her relationship with Sasuke as I am in his relationship with everyone else. You can’t remove one leg from a four-legged stool without damaging the integrity of the entire structure, and for me, discounting any single member of Team 7 irreparably damages the integrity of the entire story.
TL;DR: I love all of the Team 7 relationships, including Sakura and Sasuke's, because despite what some segments of fandom seem to believe, the text of the story never gives me any reason not to.
#naruto#meta#replies#anyway that's that! hopefully that is a helpful answer#thank you for the question! i honestly don't think i would have ever gotten around to writing about this if i hadn't been directly asked#i love talking about the stories i enjoy (obviously; we all do; that's why we're here)#but i'm usually ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about responding to takes that blatantly misread the narrative to justify hating a particular character or ship#mostly because a) it's whatever. as long as people mind their own business and leave me to enjoy myself they can do what they want#and b) some opinions are so divorced from the actual text that they're not worth discussing#like. what's the point of responding to random internet posts saying that sakura was selfishly pursuing sasuke as a lover the entire time#when that is textually and provably not the case?#if you're that committed to experiencing things in direct contradiction to what the narrative is asking of us then just go ahead#is it mildly annoying to me? sure. but so are lots of things and it's better to just let stuff go#like - i initially planned to take this piece of meta all the way up through sakura and sasuke's last scene together#the one where he tells her 'maybe next time' and finally reclaims and redefines itachi's forehead tap (INCREDIBLE. THIS SCENE.)#but ultimately i changed my mind because everything i wrote for that last section was coming out too harsh#i generally prefer to talk about fandom stuff in a chill/friendly approachable way#but i kept thinking about the most obscenely & disrespectfully inaccurate read of that scene i'd ever seen#and i couldn't figure out how to talk about it in a non-scathing way#that scene and the one where naruto gives sasuke's headband back are the ONLY well-written things about the finale of naruto#they are SO perfectly constructed and i can't respond to people slandering either one without feeling an urge to kill#so i just deleted it. partially because again - this is fandom; it's not that serious; people can do what they want#but also because i know i get extra frustrated about people picking over the text and plucking out isolated bits and pieces#to contort into blatantly misinterpreted mutant shapes that 'confirm' whatever pre-existing judgments or ships they had#instead of experiencing the story as a cohesive whole & keeping in mind the greater context of what it's always been trying to communicate#people on this website say 'we all interpret things differently :)' as if it means no one can ever be wrong about what a text is saying#newsflash: not all interpretations of a text are valid. things can't in fact mean whatever you want them to mean.#the ***story*** persists and exists even if the author is dead to you#if you choose to ignore that then that's fine; it's just fandom; who cares. but i'm not going to pretend you're 'analyzing' anything.#(ok now i'm really done. you can see why i deleted this section XD)
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i took a sick day and took myself out to breakfast and baby waved me. life feels good again.
#im very lucky to get paid sick days (which is fucked that people don’t get paid days to begin with) but they don’t carry over#and work has been so stupidly busy and it will only get busier#and im changing roles at work which is nice (i guess) but its just a job and more responsibility#and im trying to always not treat my job like it’s my life or something that defines me or the only place where i give value#cause that’s not true but that’s what the corporate world WANTS YOU TO DO#and feel guilty when you take time for yourself cause if you aren’t around things will fall apart#but all of this to say: if you get paid sick days please take them. even if you aren’t sick or just need a break.#it’s so needed. life is so crazy busy and weekends are enough time to do everything#so taking a day to do the things you need to do or (like something I need to learn how to do) do nothing at all and just chill#my dream sick day is having the house to myself and i can take a bath and then go back in bed and read fic all day#and eat pasta#but one thing at a time
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trying to imagine what a Welcome Home ending would look like (which is extremely stupid lmao considering we dont know shit about jack yet), and it's just... huh.
i doubt it's going to take the "the puppets are turned into humans and they join the real world" route (and if it does, then cool! that'd be sick as fuck!), so what would a happy ending look like for them? would they get a little sanctuary to live freely in? is there a secret world of living puppets out there somewhere?
what if its a tragic ending? the puppets either are repurposed for a new show, or stripped of their Awareness, or become inanimate objects - normal puppets? what if they just straight up fade away?
or a bittersweet ending? they renew the show in order to stay alive and together, but they're forced to return to their old lives & routines? or it's ambiguous and we don't actually see what happens after a certain point - where the ending for the audience comes before the puppet's real endgame; it's not for us to see/know, they get an unobserved close to the story.
its simultaneously fascinating and distressing to think about.
#i have an inkling its gonna be that last bittersweet one but WHO KNOWS NOT FUCKIN ME!!!#for all we know theres a secret option none of us will ever consider#and then clown'll pull it outta thin air and we'll all be like OHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!#yknow? yah?#plot twist: wally turns the entire world into puppets#i just!!! i just have thoughts!#thinking about WH ending gives me that specific bittersweet/nostalgia/dread/anticipation emotion combo i still cant name#i have to shake myself by the shoulders and screech You Have Literal Fucking Years Before It Ends. Probably. Shut The Fuck Up And Vibe.#unfortunately my brain is Incapable of shutting up and i have the compulsive need to guess the ending of everything i watch/read/enjoy#welcome home theory#welcome home speculation#honestly thinking about that last option makes me so emotional#bc it is what they deserve. they were constantly Observed and Watched and theyre still being Watched and they deserve peace and freedom#BUT AGAIN WHO KNOWS!!! WE DONT KNOW HOW THIS STORY IS GONNA UNFOLD!#what twists and turns and Developments and Evolutions it'll take#i need to chill. i need to calm down about this project. i need to go camping for a week with not a hint of cell service#i need to be on a train north. please. please-
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end of march is crazy for writing like i have a 1.5k essay im doing today and tomorrow, a 2k word essay im doing wednesday and a 1k word research proposal im doing friday. and in the remaining week of the month i am WILLINGLY going to finish taob (~10k OPTIMISTICALLY) and make a solid start on tams (~5k-10k depending on how well writing goes). like yes girl write around 20k words worth of MULTIPLE PROJECTS in a handful of days there is no way this can end badly at all
#'hella no one is pressuring you to post anything if you arent able to or are overwhelmed by the barrage of uni work you have atm' stfu#i cannot stress enough the moment i give myself a self-imposed deadline for a fic it HAS to be met#like you guys could beg me to chill out and i simply would not cave#also i just got back from dnd and it was such a good session like i have actual friends there now#and the DM from today actually messaged me on facebook afterwards saying how much he enjoyed playing with me#and he said i brought a lot to the table and my interaction was 'better than some people that have been playing for 5+ years'#I GOT A GOOD GRADE IN DND SOMETHING THAT IS BOTH NORMAL TO WANT AND POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE#and next week is the first week im going without my mate bc she's away so i was a little nervous#but then this guy that's basically adopted us was like 'omg i'll make sure we're on a table together so you at least know me!'#which was nice enough on its own BUT THEN this dm that's been playing for over 40 years who always chats with us after#was like INSISTANT that we go on his table next week which im SO buzzing for bc he's like a veteran player he knows SO MUCH#and it felt very cool that he was actively inviting us like i dont think that's something he does often#hehehe im having fun with the freaks and weirdos <3333#hella goes to uni
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guys if i reblog a post to add an opinion/discussion and say 'don't go into this person's askbox we're just all having a friendly discussion' that's not in fact code to go into that person's askbox telling them how they're wrong
#alexa play please please please by sabrina carpenter#like then that gives me a bad name and i'd rather give myself a bad name all by myself#some people just want to be on tumblr to vibe in THEIR space....that is acceptable#just because someone doesn't have the same opinion doesn't mean you have to jump to correct them on anon - if you have something to say#say it with your full username#also people have different opinions and that's fine! ik some people can't stand me and block me which i'm chill about they're curating#their space but i still follow loaaaaads of lovely people who i KNOW have differing opinions from me because at the end of the day i don't#want my space to be too bubbled but that's the way i'm curating it! if i see a gushy post ab a driver i dislike#that's my own fault! i'm not going to go whining in askboxes about it#and who knows! i might even gain a different perspective on something! the wonders of the internet#tldr: curate your space and don't get mad when you see a blog with a different opinion and try to 'correct' them#esp when i'm discussing it as “hey i think it's a valid opinion but i disagree here's MY take on it! but please don't go harass the OP”#this is not twitter there's no need to be reactionary and impolite it's okay to sit on things for a while
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i can't go into the tag rn bc i'll get spoilers but the other show i'm going insane about is blue eye samurai and oh my god. the scene where mizu has a flashback to the fight w taigen while watching a threesome. my god
#and mizu and taigen are both superimposed(?) over the men#and the third person is a woman and mizu meets akemi THAT episode#if u wanted to homoeriticize mizu and taigen thatd be one thing but this brothel serves gay people so why is it specifically a mmf threesom#karinyo.txt#like. youre so crazy youre sooo crazy for that mizu#a lot to unpack#what if we fought by the fire at night when i had a side wound#and then way later when you chilled the fuck out i gave you the sword i won off my dead enemy (which i forged myself) and abandoned you#and then i saw images of your face during our fight flash before my eyes while watching a threesome. HELLO???#and both of us were the men even though i am a woman(?)#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN.#idc mizu is hot and that still feels gay to say. LMFAO#mizu baby binding. you are going to break a rib swimming and jumping and fighting in all that tape#such dykey/transmasc energy from teenage mizu#from child mizu as well to be real with you. like it's interesting that there's never a moment where mizu went from feminine to masculine#she was just always. a boy#can't wait to go into the tag about this but i am not having this show spoiled for me#i also love yentl so like. this is nothing new for me. however while yentl usually gives me tboy vibes i'm not so sure about mizu#and the way she remembers akemi's face after glancing at her through a window once like weeks ago. YOU ARE GAY x2#bes
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Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"
#also i don't know why i feel i have to update people#i genuinely think that people will give me flack about not posting 31 prompts but calling myself a completionist#or saying i've got loads of fics coming up for the bear because of whumptober then not posting anything#i've made good progress with some things#the ed fic#but others are complete and not how i want them to be#there's a few fics exploring richie's birth family and him reconnecting that i want to do better#or him quitting the bear and becoming a nurse that i want to do justice#or just the fact that all i'm thinking of is my mikey lives au but it doesn't fit whumptober so i'm not writing it#and to top it off#my way of writing is changing from plan a lot and then write each scene in order and do that every day#to not being able to flesh out ideas so just writing down scenes until i get the vibe#it feels less dedicated to me personally#just because it's different and i'm a perfectionist who's too thorough sometimes#also half the time i plan a fic in detail then cba because it's too daunting#so i'm taking a leaf out of scenedenial's book and giving myself more freedom and trying not to beat myself up#that i've got 10 fics on the go and they're all slow going#because that's what i can manage#september is and will continue to be a stressful month for me#got my 2nd attempt at my driving test on 24th september and i'm an anxious wreck#also work on top of that and trying to have a life and let myself chill and say watch footie with my dad or grey's anatomy with my mum#rather than sit at a computer not writing all day#you've got to do stuff to be motivated#also exercise#i'm trying to exercise regularly and there's only so much time in the day when you work 9 hours a week#when did this become a vent post?#personal#kinda
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gruxime makes me a little insaneeeee esp from maximes perspective cus its like. damn. a hell of my own creation.
#like even outside of shipping or w/e if maxime hadnt embarrassed gru at homecoming they cld have been friends. more even#meeeee when im miserably unhappy in my group of friends trying to live up to something i can never be#instead of being myself w ppl who get it#it does make me smile that they seem to be on good terms at the end of 4 and makes me think that like. maybe gru never rllyyyy hated him..?#like to maxime it was world ending catastrophe but gru likes destroying ppls will to live for fun even as a kid#autism to autism communication… FAILED.#undecided on if gru wld have liked maxime back or not. at least in canon#ummmm. i think it cld be possible. but in a weird confused rivarly kinda way#like maxime is so bad at giving mixed signals that gru genuinely cant tell if he likes him or wants him dead for ages#like when ppl go ‘oooh hes just being mean cus he likes u’ but like. genuinely#um kind of a tangent but my thoughts for gru at lpb is that he mostly keeps to himself and doesnt rlly have any friends#but he dgaf (effect of literally never having had anyone close to him b4)#in comparison to maxime who is all abt cliques and surrounded by ppl …. but still alone 😔💔#i do think some of maximes friends wld be actually nice tho. like in the same position as him#everybodys just trying to fit in. u know#anyways i think gru wld spend 99% of his time either alone or chilling w the minions#but its just nicer for him to mostly be left alone instead of bullied by like. the whole school#btwwwww interesting that when maxime mocks him at the reunion 1. everyone laughs and 2. gru looks surprised that everyone laughs#like hm damn maybe having crazy popularity and connections pays off. Damn.#he doesnt seem to be bullied while actually at the school as ppl cheer for him at the show#i think this is maybe a byproduct of gru being considered a failed villain in the current day#HEY BTW i thought it was a littleeee strange that gru being an avl agent isnt like. common knowledge among villains. seems like big news#that wld have leaked somehow. but idk maybe he got lucky or the avl covered it up#but damn after the reunion they DEFINIETLY all know. cld be an interesting setup to dm5 [blinks cutely]#lol. anyways. my thoughts
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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speaking of tattoo apprenticeship im getting a tattoo on wednesday and they r so stressful now cuz it feels like a secret job interview except its not abt qualifications or skills or talent or professionalism (all shit im capable of) its abt making sure they Like you and being someone that would be fun to have around (shit im NOT capable of) bc ppl barely get any material benefit out of mentoring someone. and i have to have all the right answers but when they ask why im interested in tattooing idk if the chill “i love how tattoos allow u to take control of ur body and decorate it how u want and make it a home u like living in and its the most personal and human form of art and theres no greater honour as an artist than being trusted to engrave ur artwork into someones skin forever” route is most appropriate or the “i wasted 4 years getting a science degree only to realize im not built for sciences and its too late to go back to school for an art education and i dont think i could feel fulfilled in any other art field anyways and this feels like literally the only possible way i can imagine a happy future for myself and its like my last chance to have a good life” route which is perhaps a little Much even tho its true. so
#seeing ppl give advice on finding tattoo apprenticeships thats like ‘go to shops hang around make friends with them etc’#ok but what if i am an awkward and slightly unlikeable person . what then#not in a rude way but in a shy overly professional and scared of everyone and takes a while to chill out and be fun way.#i was likeable in high school but then my science degree had my social anxiety doubling and me forgetting how to be myself At All#cuz suddenly nobody felt like my peers like they did in art class. so i was always silent or boring cuz i couldnt relate to anyone#like man what the fuck do i DO idk how to be a person anymore#im allergic to sharing anything genuine abt myself now im fucking cooked its so over#x
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okay more on hajime's underwear. . in a world where all the fte's are canon for everybody and not just a gameplay thing, do you think everybody on the island made it like. a bet or something. every single person he's became close with on this fucking island gave him their panties as a token of closeness, so like are they waiting for him to reciprocate?? the one person he gives his underwear to is like. the Chosen hajime person and they get to gloat ? do they ask.
#this is a crackfic waiting to happen i need to not make another wip . But.........#everybodys in the cafeteria of the hotel . sat patient like a serious meeting is gonna happen.#“so.. hajime who are you giving your undies to? all of us have given us yours..”#“??? excuse me?”#think hajime has to run away . but they keep chasing him down. like the everybody loves shadow audio thing but with hajime's panties.#or the mlp the gala ticket episode where theyre trying to impress him for it.#“ah hajime i made u a nice delicious cake!!!!.... so uhm... any ideas on who's getting ur panties? haha. no reason at all.”#he tries to find refuge in chiaki and she's normal. like 100% normal and he's like oh thank god...#i think her and komaeda being the only ones to not be at the cafeteria matters . i shouldve said that but oops#and theyre chilling and he keeps faking himself out bc it Seems liek chiaki is gonna ask about his fucking underwear but it's always normal#. and at the end she's like “this was fun hajime. ..” *expectantly looking*#and it clicks. she didnt say anything but she Was expecting him to give it over. like how everybody else did after a while#“yea! it was... uhm haha. so i'll be on my way ^_^;;”#chiaki's cheeks puft out and he can Tell she is disappointed. he's not sure why. why this matters. why it's like a token of. Something#that is sooooooo important to everybody. but oh well#he's off on his way and he finds komaeda. distressed over dropping his keys in the water. he can go fish em out ^w^#and he does. and he and komaeda hang out. because this is the 2nd fte space of the day that hajime typically has.#komaeda is the One person who doesn't even give a shit about his panties. like at all.#and hajime thinks this is gonna be a chiaki 2.0 situation but nagito is like “okay cya hajime ^w^ thanks for that!” and goes inside .#doesnt even give hajime a chance to give him anything. if he wanted to.#Lol...#i think im gonna run out of tags soon so ill cut it there.#micetalk#hajime#literally all of class 77b#nagito my darling#chiaki the wifey#contained myself on this one. insaneee right?#danganronpa#thinking things again
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yay yippee yay :3 🎉
#just me hi#making things i will never ever show to anybody: 💫💫💥💫💫 pfshvbh#you know when you personal-art so hard it could literally be nuclear if anybody saw it. Yeagh kfhsvhjgs#:3 ehehehe [<- pleased]#i love you writing + art combo. i Am giving you a very deep grave though i won't lie <3#//anyway thought i was gonna get flamed today cuz i wouldn't let my mom look at some doobles i had in my sketchbook lmfsvhghs#gay 😔#but we just went out for snacks and she was just talking about a lot of random stuff lol :) chilling comes out on top yet again 👍💥#//anyway i gotta do some studies ᴗ.ᴗ [<- the urge to do it and the desire to Never Ever]#wanna get better at anatomy :/ and shading lmao :/ [<- does not want to do it so bad]#and also backgrounds :// but one step at a time man i don't know what a lighting is lfmvshj#shaking myself by the shoulders like you are GOING to enjoy it at some point it's not the end of enjoyment forever !!#me n mine are going to argue back and forth about it until i finally get it done so [tosses hands in the air]#hopefully i get to it today :) i haven't been trying to do timelapses this past year but maybe i'll do that when i get around to it :>#getting the funk out of the Lagoons means i realized i have been dropping a lot of things i thought were neat over time and i'm tryna pick#them back up lol :3#downside is that where i was dropping things i was picking up anxiety which is Really Cool and Epic#the Most counterintuitive function of the brain i think. doing their best but man it's like putting a rat in a room made of cheese while#it's pouring rain outside and expecting it not to start chowing down lmaoo#//anyway yea!! my things :33#kinda Do want to do studies now Yippee !!! i win yet again ehe >:3#so toodles ciao pop toodles >wó
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