#it gets complicated when Sirius gets back but the thought of someone loving you enough to be happy with you at your very worst is comforting

[hyperfixation-fix]

I think my biggest red flag is that I actually enjoy the chapters of ATYD after Sirius's imprisonment and before his escape.

I've reread them multiple times.

[luveline]

this request may be a bit of a long shot, but would you be willing to write a drabble for mouth of september? maybe she gives the boys a scare either by going out and then not coming home at the time she said she would or maybe she faints from not having eaten enough? totally okay if you don’t want to or if you want to use this as a prompt for something else, mos has just been one of your fic series that i think about pretty consistently even two-ish years later.

anyway have a great day and hope you’re doing well jadey <3 love u

I love you! me writing this actually did feel like a longshot but not cos I didn’t love it and not cos I don’t love u, I hope you enjoy it!! been so long since I wrote this !!🩵 fem! 4k words

cw suicidal thoughts/suicidal ideation

It’s cold tonight. 

You blow on your fingers, feeling them warm, stiffness lanced for precious few seconds. You didn’t mean to walk so far from the house, not while the wind is racing like this. The corner shop just seemed to move around while you weren’t looking. You should’ve asked Sirius to go with you, he has a better sense of direction, even if he would’ve complained the whole time about the shit weather. 

Remus would’ve come and not complained, but he was sleeping at the time and waking him felt cruel. James would’ve come, racing around in Lily’s car, but then he would’ve followed you back into the house insisting on making you some supper or a cuppa or something, and what you’d wanted was to be alone. A bar of chocolate wouldn’t hurt either. 

Stupid travelling corner shop, you think to yourself. Stupid me for fucking losing it. Should’ve just stayed home. Can’t even walk to the shop. 

You take a deep breath. You give the streets a wretched, embarrassed glare and flop down onto the nearest bench. Fuck’s sake. Lost and freezing to death. 

If Sirius were here, if he heard what you were thinking, he’d frown at you with that dark pinch to his eyes and tell you to Stop it, now. 

He’s maybe half of the reason you’re out of the house tonight. Maybe all of it. It’s all complicated and horrible and everyone thinks it’s a bad idea but the thing is that Sirius himself isn’t complicated, he isn’t horrible. He’s kind to you in funny ways, and when you’re together Sirius makes you feel like you’re someone worth being kind too, which doesn’t happen often. 

Your self annoyance fades to something more familiar soon enough. Everything goes quiet, leaving you there with your heart, quick and slow beating, can’t seem to choose, and your cold feet. Your socks feel too tight. 

Your teeth start to chatter. You can’t sit here forever. 

(But wouldn’t it be better? If you stayed? Caught cold?) 

If you get poorly from the cold, you’ll feel miserable from the moment you wake up. You’ll be ill at work, which will make work worse. You’ll have to stay in your room so you don’t get one of the boys sick, and that really would ruin your week. Nothing means anything if you don’t get to see your best friends. 

You gather yourself up and turn toward the street you’d just walked down, determined to retrace your steps. 

In the distance, a familiar shape is jogging toward you. 

“Y/N?” James shouts, sounding as though all the breath in the world has been sucked from his lungs. He doesn’t stop jogging until he gets a few feet from you, where he bends to catch his breath. “Fucking hell!” His head snaps up. “Fuck, shortcake, are you alright?” 

You close the distance. “I’m fine.” 

“Are you?” He forces himself to stand, breathing hard as he grabs you by the wrist. “Are you okay? You scared me so badly.” 

You grab his arm back. “I’m really fine, I’m fine, what’s wrong?” 

“You’re what’s wrong, you aren’t home!” James swallows a lump. “You left a note, you’d be home by seven. It’s nearly ten. Remus rang me in a fit ‘cos he didn’t know where you’d gone, we thought–” James gives you an imploring look, though it’s so so sorry at the same time, you feel your stomach twist into a hard knot. “We thought you were having a bad night.” 

“James.” Embarrassment makes you soft-toned. “I’m really sorry I scared you, but I got lost, that’s all.” You don’t really like to lie, only James seems to need to hear it. “I’m glad you found me. I was worried I wouldn’t get home.” 

James gives a breathy laugh. “Oh, good.” 

You’re pulled into a hug. 

“Sorry,” you say. 

“No, it’s okay.” He rubs your back with force. It feels more for him than you, though you don’t exactly mind it. You can pretend as much as you want that you don’t like it when the boys give you affection, but they know it’s not true, and they know it’s alright to give it to you most days. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine as long as you’re fine.” 

“Fine,” you say. 

He pulls away. “Oh, god. Alright, let’s go back to the house. It’s freezing, you’re not wearing a proper coat?” 

“I didn’t plan on being out long.” 

“No?” 

He takes you by the shoulder to encourage you back the way you came. “Just wanted some chocolate,” you say. 

“I’ll get you some.” 

You both know it doesn’t add up. James doesn’t make you say much else, relieved you’re alright, and you fester in the guilt of worrying him so harshly. 

“Where are your glasses?” you ask. 

“I forgot them in the car.” 

“Where is the car?” 

“Remus thought you might’ve gone to the library, you were supposed to take that Sky-Fi back.” 

“Sci-fi.” 

“Right, the space books. He took it to see if you were walking home, I said I’d come this way, and Sirius…” James grimaces. “Not sure where he went. He was already out by the time I got to the house.” 

“How are we gonna find him?” 

“He’ll come back eventually.” 

You stick close to James’ side, dodging crisped up leaves and following him down the dropped kerb and finally onto a familiar road. “Guess I’ve lived here so long, I should’ve known the way,” you say. 

“It’s alright.” 

You bite your cheek for a second. “I’m really sorry, James, I– I didn’t– is it really ten?” 

“…Aren’t you cold?” he asks softly. 

“I didn’t think about it.” 

“I wish you would.” He pokes his tongue against his cheek. “I want to know if you’re having a bad night. It’s alright if you were. If you need more time, more help, it’s okay.” 

“It’s not like that… not all of it. I was walking to the shops, I swear. Just feel so,” —your voice slips into a colour of shame you despise— “weird sometimes. I’m sorry I made you worry. I don’t know why I keep doing this.” 

“Is this a common occurrence?” 

“Not the walk, just. Just this. Making you worry. I didn’t mean to make everybody worry.” 

“Well, I am worried. When you disappear for a couple more hours than you say you will, it’s scary.” James gives you a shrug. “I love you, I’m gonna wonder where you are.” 

“But–”

“I worry about Sirius when he goes to the pub until who knows when, worry about Lils when she does too many hours at work. I worry about Remus every day, his eyes are worse than mine ‘cos all he does is read,” he says with a laugh. “It’s fine.” 

“I worry about you too,” you say. 

“About what?” he asks, stricken. 

“Remus told me you can pop your knee out from your kneecap when you weight lift. I know you think it’s fun and stuff, but that’s scary.” 

“I’m getting fit!” He rolls his eyes. “Lily likes my abs.” 

“Well I liked you when you were soft.” 

James cackles at your poor fake-flirting. “I’ve never been soft, take that back! You know being captain made me solid as a rock.” 

“James?” a voice calls. 

You look up at the same time. Sirius is sitting on the wall in front of the house smoking; he takes a harsh, quick drag and stabs it out so hard that ash sullies his fingers as he stands. 

“Oh,” he says, blowing the smoke from his mouth quickly, his breath a ragged thing as he bounds across the road to hug you. “Sorry.”

You don’t get what he’s sorry for. “It’s okay.” 

He smells so strongly of smoke it’s like he’s blowing it under your nose, but he’s not so sharp to the touch. You falter at being touched kindly, feeling tension in his back as you curl an arm around him. 

Sirius digs his face into your neck. 

“Hey?” you ask quietly. 

He steps back suddenly, an accusing fist held between your two abdomens. “Where have you been?” he asks, and there’s the sharpness to match his smell, scowl turning his grey-blue eyes to pitch, lashes in a furious tangle. “You can’t do that. You can’t just disappear for hours.” 

“I’m sorry–”

“It’s not okay.”

“She said she’s sorry,” James interjects, “maybe let’s leave it?” 

“Being sorry doesn’t erase the last two hours of us panicking, though, does it?” 

“She got lost–”

“James, it’s okay, it’s–” You shake your head. “Maybe you should go inside to warm up? You’re not wearing a coat either.” 

“I was in a rush.” James gives Sirius a warning look. “I’ll make you a cup of tea. Five minutes and I’m coming back out.” 

James trudges up the garden path to the house. You twist your hands together, staring into Sirius’ face, wanting to see every bit of his anger, keeping tabs on all of it so as not to be surprised. You should’ve known he’d run out of patience with you eventually. He’s had to deal with your awful moods more than anyone else. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Do you realise how scary it is to worry you’ve hurt yourself?” Sirius asks starkly. 

You flinch. “It doesn’t exactly feel great for me, either.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Still, he softens. You feel like you’ve cheated. “I don’t understand. You got lost? How far away from the house were you?” 

“I don’t know, I was trying to go to Del’s.” 

“You’re not being honest with me, or any of us. It’s not fair. My heart is like a fucking racehorse,” he says, pressing his hand to his chest, fingertips smudgy with ash, “’cos all I’ve thought tonight is that you’d gone off and jumped off of a bridge or something. I know you wouldn’t.” He lets his hand fall. He quietens. It is almost apologetic, how he slows. “I know you wouldn’t. I knew you’d come home. But please don’t make me think about it.”

He’s gone pale in the cold, his hair in twists and tucked haphazard behind his ears. In his thick bomber jacket and his jeans, he could’ve just hopped of the bike, windswept as he is, but it’s the mark of worried hands having pushed his hair back repetitively rather than the weather, though the longer you stand there in the wind, the more tangled it becomes. “I dont get why you’re so determined to be alone,” he says. 

You don’t want to talk about it. When do you ever? More than ever, you’d like to stalk past him and slam your bedroom door, let him know you’re fine by yourself and seething, let him stay ignorant to you as you squirm in a bed you’ve come to hate. How often do you lay there wishing you could be alone forever? It’s not fair to anyone. It doesn’t make sense. They all love you and you feel sorry for them, ‘cos you tricked them, ‘cos you’re nothing worth thinking about for long. 

Sirius won’t stop frowning at you. It makes the drowning feeling worse. 

“I’m sorry,” you say again, hoping this time it’ll stick. “I don’t know what happened, I just wasn’t thinking. I don’t feel very well.” 

“I know.” He scoffs to himself. You relax at the hint of self-deprecation. “It’s not your fault. I’m fucking furious with you but I know you can’t help it.” 

“Sorry.” 

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. For saying you’d jumped off a bridge, that’s horrible, but you really fucking worry me sometimes and I’m so relieved that you’re okay that it’s making me horrible.” 

“You’re not horrible.” 

“I’m mean.” 

“You’re not.”

“No, I am. You’re the only person who doesn’t see it. Or at least doesn’t say it.” Sirius rubs his face, scraping a stray hair from his nose. “Sorry for shouting. Here,” —he holds out his arm— “let’s have a proper one.” 

He hugs you nicely, no force to it, less lingering smoke. The scratch of his cheek catches yours, his hand at the bottom of your back, your jacket and shirt rising with every sweep of his touch. You press your closed eye to his hair. 

“Why didn’t you come and sit with me or– we could’ve talked. Could’ve just led in bed, doesn’t matter, I would’ve gone to the shop with you.” He squeezes you, pressing his nose to your shoulder. “I can be morbid. We can be two miserable layabouts together.” 

“I didn’t…” You cringe. “Sirius, it’s not on purpose, I swear. I didn’t do it to make you worry.” 

“I know that, Jesus.”

“Sorry.” 

“It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re home.” 

You pull apart as a car turns onto the street. That’ll be Remus. Another for your troupe of worry. 

“What do you think, is he mad at me too?” you ask. 

“Remus?” Sirius gives you another half hug. “‘Course not.” 

And true to form, Remus climbs out of the car with a fond smile. “Hey, where have you been?” His hair ruffles in the wind, scars turned palest purple in the cold. “You need to learn how to tell time.” 

You let him hug you. “Sorry.” 

“That’s alright, let’s go inside though. Have some tea. Did you eat much today?” 

You ignore the question. “Tea,” you say. 

“Yeah.” 

Remus ushers you down the path to the house, Sirius on your other side like bodyguards. 

“Thanks for, uh, looking for me.” 

Remus takes you by the forearm. “We’ll always look for you. But next time, wake me up first.” 

You nod gratefully. “Uh, okay. Thank you.” 

“Stop saying thanks. It’s alright, Y/N. It’s fine.” 

That’s what you’ve all said, but it doesn’t make it true. 

—

James goes home, though he doesn’t want to. “I can stay,” he says over the rim of his mug, half-pleading, wanting you to ask him to. “We can have a sleepover.” 

You insist that you’re really fine, he has work tomorrow, it’s late. When he doesn’t move, you say, “I feel bad enough that you were out looking for me in the cold.” 

Your voice is pathetic and scratchy and he can tell you’re going to cry, they all can, so he doesn’t push it anymore than that. He goes home, and you go to bed, and Remus follows you up a little bit later with a glass of juice and some thick, buttered slices of teacake. 

“You okay?” he asks, climbing into bed next to you where you’re laying down. 

“Fine.” 

“Didn’t eat much today?” 

“No.” 

“Have the juice, at least.” 

You take the glass. 

Between your sorry sips, Remus picks at one of the slices of cake, steals looks at you, though he doesn’t try to hide what he’s doing. 

“Sorry about today. Didn’t mean to worry you.” 

“You can stop saying sorry.” Remus lets his head tip from one side to another. “I can hear it in your voice that you don’t want to say it. Not that I don’t believe that you’re really, actually sorry. But you keep repeating it because you’re worried I want you to do that, and I don’t.” 

“It’s what I should say.” 

“Well, you’ve said it.” Remus turns to you, all bookish and rakish at once, lovely but tired, and he must be giving you a similar appraisal. “I wanted to be your friend the second I first talked to you. It wasn’t guilt.” He shakes his head. Wasn’t ’cos they’d played that prank on you with the shoe-eating goo, spied on you crying in a school hallway, overwhelmed. “I just liked you, and that was without any sort of knowledge of what you’re like. Now that I know you, I couldn’t be rid of you. Truly. I love you, you know that?” He smiles gently. “Even when you need time and you disappear. Please… don’t really go anywhere though, will you?” 

“I won’t.” You decided a long time ago that ending your life wasn’t in the cards. There are terrifying moments, numb ones, blink-and-it’s over ones, where you feel like it’s the only option you have. But it ends eventually, or it sinks into a background to be forgotten until the next time it aches. 

“Are you eating properly?” he asks. 

“Remus–” You shake your head as he brings a hand to your forehead, like he might stroke your hair. “You don’t have to do this.” 

“You don’t like answering, that’s all.” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“I’ve made you talk much more than you would’ve liked to, tonight.”

“I like talking to you. To all of you.” You rest your head on his thigh. “You really are my favourite people in the world, Remus. I wouldn’t… wouldn't give you up.” 

“Good,” he says, stroking your forehead just a few times. “‘Cos we can’t be without you.” 

Sirius finds you collapsing in on one another a little later and rounds the bed to lay on your other side. He doesn’t bother sitting as Remus did, pulling the blankets up and slipping in beside you without worrying about what parts of you are touching parts of him, nor the slip of your back where your shirt’s riding up, nor how warm it is under the quilt. He grabs the end of your t-shirt and pulls it flat over your stomach, before his hand spreads out there, and you realise half-heartedly that he’s hugging you from behind. The room is barely seeable. Remus is nearly sleeping. Your tea cake went uneaten, left stodgy and dark on the nightstand. 

“This okay?” Sirius asks. 

“Yeah.” 

He burrows nearer, rubbing his nose against the back of your neck, then taking a long breath of you. 

“Are you mad?” you ask. 

“Not anymore.” 

You can’t believe that any of them could love you so much as to look for you. That James would want to stay the night, and that he’d let you turn him away. If you had any energy left in you tonight you would’ve done the same to Remus, and then Sirius. James won’t be happy when he finds out they’d slept in the bed with you and left him out, but he’ll forgive it eventually. None of them should care so much about you, what’s special about you? What’s even really good? What’s worth it? 

Sirius breathes behind you. He doesn’t seem scared to touch you, not worried to lay as close to you as your bodies will allow. His heat sinks into you. 

“Know any poems?” he asks, letting you shift into his back as he pushes an arm beneath you, curling, really holding you to him, a spoon of a hug. 

“What kind did you want to hear?” 

Sirius doesn’t answer. You hold still as his hand begins looping over your stomach. 

“I can’t remember anything right.” 

“Can you guess at one for me?” he asks. 

You stare at Remus’ falling chest. You’re lucky to have good friends. 

“I read one a few days ago, a couple of times, it was only a few lines.” You wait. Sirius doesn’t say anything, so you start to relay the poem slowly, stringing the words together as they come. “The world was a… nautilus shell... And the world was a grain of sand.” Your voice is odd, but the lines come to you regardless. “The world was a honeycomb… And the world was a strip of tender bark.” 

Sirius lets his lips warm your neck, asking softly, more touch than sound, “That was the whole poem?” 

You take his hand where it’s against you. “That’s it.” 

He nods. 

The world was a nautilus shell. And the world was a grain of sand. The world was a honeycomb. And the world was a strip of tender bark. You run through the poem again, three times, tripping over strip and tender and bark as Sirius’ breath warms your nape. 

“Please don’t do that again,” he says. 

“I didn’t mean to–” You force yourself to stay still. “I would never do something like that to scare you.” 

“Nobody in this room or out of it believes that you went on your walk tonight to scare them.” His nose tips down your neck. His hand spreads wider over your stomach. It feels so weird, so warm and rigid. It’s the best touch you’ve ever been given, and it doesn’t matter because you’re so ashamed of yourself —you went on your stupid little walk with at least some bad intent, and your friends noticed because they love you when they shouldn’t bother. This is a stain now, something you’ll remember. “But I can’t take it. Do you get that? I can’t take it. James found you two hours ago and I still feel like I don’t know where you are.” 

“Didn’t mean to.” 

“I know, love.” He actually does kiss your neck then, quiet smack of a real kiss. “I know. I know.” His forehead presses to your shoulder as he settles in. “You’re okay. I’m not mad.” 

“Me neither,” Remus croaks. 

You let yourself relax enough to feel tired. Warmth from either side of you threatens to bowl you over. 

“How are you feeling now?” Sirius asks. 

“Fine.” Always fine. They deserve better honesty. “I didn’t want to hurt myself. Jus’… I needed to move, like, go, and I hate this part. I don’t think it should matter that I’m not– that I don’t feel well.” 

“Don’t get upset,” Sirius says quietly. 

“I’m not.” You sound tight. “When I want to be somewhere, it doesn’t make sense that it matters. In the moment, I don’t remember that you…” 

“Love you?” Sirius asks. 

“I know why you were worried, I promise. I don’t live in a bubble. I know I’m selfish.” 

“Not selfish.” 

“It was, though.” 

“You’re thinking about it like we have a problem with what you did, and it’s my fault because I got so mad, but it’s not really that you did it.” His hand curls shy of your breastbone. “I was mad, but– darling,” —you squeeze your eyes shut— “you’re not on trial. You don’t have to prove your way out of this, all we need to know is if you’re alright now.” 

“Not really.” 

Remus gives a half-sleeping mumble. 

Sirius sits up in bed to look at both of you. “We love you. We,” —he gestures between you and Remus emphatically— “aren’t going to stop. No matter how many walks you go on, how many scares you give me.” He frowns at you sympathetically. “We’re not getting any further, are we?” 

“Sorry.” 

“I’m sorry.” He grimaces, dark around the eyes. “I’m a right prick and I’ve made a right mess of everything.” 

“It’s okay,” you whisper, chancing a touch, terrified you’ll be reprimanded for it but knowing, as you know he loves you, that you’re allowed. The tips of your fingers touch his collarbone. Sharp thing. 

He pulls a jib, lips all up and thinned like a smirk gone wrong. “Love you.” 

You must’ve petrified him. He’s never so open with his feelings, even when it’s half-joking like this. 

“I love you, too.” 

He makes another face. Good enough, it says. 

“Make me hot chocolate?” you whisper. 

“Mm, come on.” He pulls you from the bed by your wrists. “Don’t complain when it’s gritty. I’m not skilled as Remus.” 

“Quite right,” Remus mumbles. 

You hug him quickly before you leave. 

[empress-simps]

for remus, maybe a fic where he has a crush on fem!slytherin reader, and maybe the rest of the gang disapproves (at least initially) because of the silly house rivalry between gryffindor and slytherin? hopefully they’ll warm up to her because she’s actually really sweet and likes remus back, and they see how good for him she is :)

Hi darlingg! Thank you for this request, this is so adorable, and it was so fun to write :) I somehow made it a bit angsty...sorry about that I got carried away. Hope you enjoy! Pictures are from pinterest, credits to the owner!

Beyond The Surface

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Fem! Slytherin! Reader CW: Sirius being dramatic, Remus getting angry, and Language

He never really planned to fall in love. Remus thinks it would be better if he just lives his life in solitude; away from the confusing and complicated world of romantic relationships.

He doesn’t think anyone should bear the responsibility of having a werewolf boyfriend. Remus wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he even touched a single hair on your body during that time, he desperately tries to convince himself that his friends and their future children will be enough to warm his heart who secretly yearns to have his own family.

‘It’s for the best, they wouldn’t suffer because of me.’ Remus thought, being the selfless person he was. Although, his plans that he so desperately tried to put up all came crumbling down when you came into the picture.

He didn’t think of it much at first. Remus thought it was just a simple crush that would go away in about three days or so. He was completely wrong.

“Remus Lupin, right? I’m Y/n Rosier, we’re assigned partners in potions.”

You sat beside him, beaming a smile that Remus was certain you were a gift for him from the Gods above. Merlin- you were simply breath taking. That was the first time he felt butterflies on his stomach, feeling his cheeks heat up as you offered a handshake.

“N-nice to meet you, Rosier.” He took your soft hands into his rough, and scarred ones. Shaking it as he desperately tries to ignore the sparks that seemed to go off inside him. Your face grimaced as your last name rolled off his tongue.

“Y/n is fine.” Remus nods, noticing your reaction. He was wondering how someone like you managed to survive other annoying Slytherins as your housemates.

“Alright then, Y/n. Call me Remus, yeah?”

That marks the beginning of an unlikely friendship of a Gryffindor half-blood with a Slytherin pure blood.

“Shall we begin?”

“Alright, but you lead. My skills are no good in potion making.” He jokes, making a small chuckle escape your throat. “I am quite aware.” She teases.

Being partnered with him for a Potions project meant that you would often meet up in the library, spending long hours sitting beside each other in silence, flipping page after page as Remus occasionally puts back books but returning with 5 more.

“Remmy, look here.” You pointed, not noticing how Remus blushed at his newfound nickname as he leaned to your seat, placing one arm on the back of your chair, his tall frame nearly engulfing you as he reads the contents of the page you found interesting.

He suddenly pales, his eyes transfixed on the title of the page. “Wolfsbane potion…” He whispers, eyes scanning the page quickly before looking at you. You hummed, flipping into another page to see how to make the said potion.

“Right, I figured we should make this for our project. What do you think? I think Polyjuice potion is a tad bit boring, hm?” She mused, seeking his opinion on the matter.

Remus parted his mouth to speak, yet the words seem to vanish at the back of his throat. You shot him a worried look, “Do you not like it? You could say so, don’t pretend nothing is wrong, Remmy.”

He blinks, trying to compose himself. “Ah, no-nothing’s wrong. It’s just that…”

You raised your eyebrows curiously, urging him to continue. “What? You know someone who’s a werewolf?” She jokes, trying to lighten the atmosphere as she lightly elbows him.

“I do.” He chokes out, the confession was unexpected, even to him. Remus doesn’t even know why on Earth he’s about to tell you one of his darkest and deepest secrets. It was probably because of your warm and inviting aura. It’s like you wouldn’t judge anyone based on first impressions, appearance, and what you’ve heard about them until you can see for yourself.

Remus felt like he could trust you, and his instincts are almost never wrong.

“Well, maybe the potion we’ll brew can help them?” You offered a smile.

“It certainly would be of help to me.”

You stilled; your hand that was about to get your quill hovered as you looked at him in shock.

“You’re a werewolf?” You whispered quietly; eyes that were surprised stared into his nervous, amber ones. Remus could only nod, an inkling doubt and regret slowly crept up to him. Did he make the right decision? Was he wrong this time? Would you hold it against him?

Your face turned serious, clasping his hand on the table with yours, you looked at him in the eye. “Your secret is safe with me; I would never tell it to anyone. If it helps, I will even make an unbreakable vow, Remus.”

He widened his eyes, “N-no! It’s alright, I trust you, Y/n.” You visibly relaxed, smiling lightly, squeezing his hand, a soft look was sent his way.

“Thank you for trusting me, Remus. If you’d like, I’ll brew you a supply of wolfsbane from time to time.”

If Remus wasn’t in love before that, he certainly is now.

“Out of all the people you could’ve chose to like it was a Rosier?!” Sirius screeched, a horrified look on his face as he grabbed Remus’s shoulder and looked at him straight in the eyes. The said boy frowned “What about it?”

Sirius blanched, “Are you daft, Moons?” He threw his hands up in the air, looking at the rest of the marauders and Lily, wanting them to side with him. Lily’s lips pressed into a thin line; she does not quite agree with Sirius but there’s still a possibility. It doesn’t help the fact that you are a Slytherin; the house that reeks of cunning pure-blooded wizards.

Peter looked anywhere to just not meet the eyes of Remus, clearly uncomfortable. While James frowned, a troubled look on his face as he clasped Lily’s hand. “The Rosier family… they’re not exactly known for their…,” he started, but Sirius cut him off.

“Rosiers are evil! Slytherins! Pureblood Supremacists! Death Eaters!”

Remus frowns, reading the room and the reactions of his friends. The message was clear without words: none of them supported Remus’s interest in a Slytherin, a Rosier no less.

“Give her a chance, she’s different.” Remus tried to make his friends listen to him. Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes. James sighed, looking at Remus. “Moony, it’s just… We never thought you would fancy a Slytherin.” Remus pursed his lips, “Yeah, I never thought you and Lily would end up together but here we are.” James grimaced at his words.

“There’s tons of girls who fancy you, Moony.” Peter tells him. Remus frowned, feeling annoyance stir inside him. “They’re not her, Wormtail. All I’m saying is that Lily and you blokes should give her a chance before you make assumptions.” He spat, glaring at Sirius before leaving the room.

“Rem? Mon amour, what’s wrong?” She frowns, placing her book down as Remus entered the library, heading straight to her usual place but the window. Remus sighs, shaking his head. He couldn’t possibly tell you what happened, how Sirius thought you were just those pesky Slytherins they pull pranks on.

“They do not like me.” She stated, looking down with a frown as she fiddled with her thumbs.

“Honey, it’s not your fault.”

“I know, amour.”

Remus felt his lips press into a thin line, gently taking your hands in his, trying to stop your nervous habit. “They’re still wrapping their heads around it. They’ll come around, don’t worry about it love.” You sighed shakily, “I hope so.”

Remus traced shapes across the back of her hand, “Anything interesting happened today?”

“Evan and I got into a fight; said I was a blood traitor…” You trailed off, noticing how Remus’s jaw tightened and his stare hardened. “But it was alright, we made up. He just told me to be careful.” To say Remus was surprised was an understatement. “He couldn’t be angry at his twin sister for a long time.” She smiles.

“Black! What the fuck did you do?!” Remus roars, grabbing a fistful of the said boy’s shirt, pushing him against the wall as James tried to pull him off, “Come on, Moons-“

“Don’t bloody touch me, James!” He bellows, pushing off the Potter boy who stumbled away, shock evident in his features. Peter quickly got up from his bed, “Moony, why are you so angry? What did he do?” He drops shoves Sirius off as he stared at his friends.

“It was you guys who pulled a prank on her right? “Remus’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears, pointedly looking at Sirius. “Well congratulations, she’s being treated by Madame Pomfrey right now.”

Sirius felt shame and guilt ate him up. The prank was never supposed to go that far.

“Ever wondered why I was suddenly so calm during the full moon? It’s all thanks to her. She makes me batches of wolfsbane potion every month, without fail.”

James choked, “You told her?”

“I did”

“What if she tells everyone?” Peter frowns, concerned for Remus.

“If she wanted to, then the whole school would’ve already known, she even suggested an unbreakable vow.” Remus uttered out, sitting at his bed, looking away from them “Some kind of friends you guys are. I care about her, and if you hurt her, you hurt me too.”

Sirius cautiously approached him, “Moons, I’m sorry.” He began. James placed a hand on his shoulder, “I know, we’re knobheads. Sorry, Moony.” Peter nods, “We messed up, it won’t happen again.”

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to her.”

“We will, Moony.”

An hour has passed after you got treated by Madame Pomfrey, you wanted to leave as you already felt alright but she insisted you stay for an hour or two just so she could monitor you. Having no choice but to oblige.

“Love?” Your ears perked up, the sound of Remus’ voice calling out to you. You turned and smiled at his direction, although suddenly dropping it as you saw the rest of the Marauders and Lily following him.

Trying to alleviate the awkward atmosphere, Sirius pulls out a bouquet of flowers. “Remus told us you like Tulips…” You were about to take it but stopped, James seemed to notice this. “It’s not jinxed, or anything like that.” You bit your lip, silently looking at Remus as if asking was it safe, he nods. “I was there when they picked it out love.” You finally took the bouquet, nodding gratefully. “Thank you.”

“We wanted to say we were sorry.” James started; Lily nodded. “It was quite shameful that we made such accusations and judged you before even getting to know you.”

“I’m sorry, Y/n. We…we were just looking out for Moony.” Sirius sighed; shame visible in his features.

“I understand, I probably would have done the same. I’d also look out for the people I care about.” You softly replied. “It’s okay, I forgive all of you.” You looked at them.

James stepped forward, “We hope you can give us a chance to make it up to you.” Sirius cleared his throat, “And maybe, if you’re up for it, join us for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?” His attempt at a smile was hopeful.

Your lips curved into a genuine smile, your body slowly becoming relaxed. “I’d like that,”

[iamnmbr3]

How do you think Sirius and Lily would have gotten along while at school? Love your metas!! 🥰

Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say. This is a really fascinating question. Obviously I think initially they didn't get along well since in the SWM scene Lily doesn't seem to think too highly of the Marauders. She's especially bothered by James but quite clearly doesn't get on with any of them - and we see that started right from their first meeting on the train (which paralleled Harry and Draco so much it's wild, but that's another post).

They were also housemates and had to be around each other but I think probably they mostly ignored each other. I think the antagonism was probably pretty one sided in the sense that I don't think she was a target of the Marauders' bullying. James probably tried to get her attention but Sirius probably didn't really care. His priority was James. So yeah, probably there was a chilly distance between them along with maybe some grudging respect because they are both talented and smart enough to notice each other's abilities (though I think Sirius probably also overlooked and underestimated her to an extent and didn't really understand her or see her the way Snape did), given that James certainly seems a bit wary of being hexed by Lily in the book 5 Pensieve memory. They have to live in proximity so probably Lily was cooly cordial when she wasn't actively angry about something, and Sirius was probably about the same since he didn't really care about her but knew his best mate fancied her.

Later things get more complicated. Because later Lily and Sirius have something in common. They've both fallen for the same person. I read Sirius as gay with unrequited feelings for James. On the one hand, he wants his best friend to be happy. On the other hand, it's hard seeing the person you're in love with getting together with someone else. It was one thing when James fancied Lily and she didn't like him back. Quite another thing when in 7th year suddenly they're getting on, and then not just getting on, but actually falling for each other and falling hard. Sirius could probably be moody even back then (tho probably less than he was post-Azkaban) so I think sometimes those feelings probably bubbled forth and led to some coldness or tension. But he probably tried to tamp it down as best he could.

And of course we know from the short prequel that James went running off to galavant with Sirius while Lily was left at home and that when James became increasingly frustrated with being cooped up in Godric's Hollow, Lily turned to Sirius for help because she thought he might be able to reach James when she couldn't. So there's also the question of who is really first in his regard - who he respects and listens to and has the most emotional intimacy with. Which again could create some tension.

Also, for Sirius James is always the priority. He cares about Lily and accepts her as family because she's James's girlfriend - and later his wife. Not because they necessarily would've been friends otherwise. So there's this interesting dynamic where he would die for her and sees her as family, but also he's not that interested in her as a person and she knows he would drop her if she and James broke up.

Even so, on a surface level they get along. They're both funny and clever and quick and a bit detached. The letter she wrote to him in book 7 speaks to some emotional intimacy between them. and that probably started in book 7.

Another bonding point, beyond the fact that now they spend a lot of time around each other bc of James is that there's a war that's picking up steam and they're both on the same side of it, which creates a sense of camaraderie. Not to mention, Sirius knows all about having an estranged sibling.

So yeah I think their relationship is messy and complicated and contradictory - both close and distant, brothers in arms and family by choice, but also rivals in affection who never understand each other beyond a surface level. People who resent each other but also need each other, who are inextricably bound together and part of each other's lives and yet separated by unbridgeable gaps, who rely on each other and yet don't know each other.

[myriadparacosm]

Black Beats Black - snippet chapter 7: Ambrosia

“Thank you,” she says with a last look at their friends before her intense viridian eyes fall on him. “Remus, I understand that you don't want to talk about it but I would rather be honest with you. I don't want you to be mad.”

Remus frowns at her, slowly getting more and more worried. “What do you mean?”

“I know.”

“What?” His lips can't help but tick with a bit of humor. 

She brazenly holds his gaze with a grim seriousness but he can't properly make sense of it. Her last words were about Sirius, looking for details, and Regulus but Remus is sure she has understood his point. He won't come near their relationship even if it hurts– without even considering Sirius choosing one of them.

“Remus, I know.”

It takes him a blink to fully grasp on what she says. Lily stops at his side with a conflicted expression. She tries to make it seem less grave but Remus is still slowly crushed at what she means. There aren't many options that don't make him feel sick. Her insistence about Sirius, their fight and his brother freezes him with a vague nausea.

“You…”

Remus knows well enough that she is smart and they are close enough for her to know how to read him. It's still a slap to his face that she might have figured out his feelings for Sirius– why would she insist otherwise? He had believed that outside of the dorm his thoughts and feelings were perfectly hidden.

“It's not that obvious,” she softly says but her encouragement falls flat. “You know how to cover your back, but I might care too much about you to ignore all the hints.”

“Does anyone else know?” Remus croaks out, feeling faint and he hastily starts walking to the castle to feel somewhat in control.

Lily follows him and, despite the distance between them two and the others, keeps her voice down.

“James confirmed-”

“Bloody-”

“But I was already sure of it myself,” Lily insists. “It was by accident that we talked about it. Nothing more. But Remus, it changes nothing. Alright? Nothing.”

“Do we really need to talk about it?”

“No, not really but– I want you to know that I'm on your side, Remus. Always will be.”

She carefully grabs his arm before slipping hers into its crook when he doesn't move away. Remus still refuses to meet her eyes, staring at Sirius from afar who chats with his brand-new friends.

He can't believe that he has been obvious even now, after everything that happened - the pain that Sirius caused to him when Remus had been feverishly believing that he found his people. Someone who doesn't mind his horrible curse and all the complications he brings onto the table.

“It changes everything,” he mutters because while he isn't afraid of the repercussions of being queer, he is terrified at the idea that his feelings get out, especially at this point when they make little sense. “Do you think Sirius knows?”

Lily is frighteningly silent for a few seconds. “What do you mean? Of course, he knows.”

Remus freezes. She stares at him in confusion but still holds on to him with a soft care in her fingers. He thought it couldn't get worse.

“No, he– that's impossible.”

Sirius would have said something, definitely a bad thing, just to reassure Remus that they will stay good friends but never more because that would be too much. Perhaps he would completely ignore it, Remus would prefer that option but only if he stayed ignorant; how does Sirius look at him if he knows that Remus loves him?

“What are you talking about? I know he has been helping you all these years. Just like James and Peter.”

Remus hysterically jerks away. Lily stumbles a step but saves herself with an astonished look that melts in worries. He clears his throat, too fast and too roughly but he can't breathe and feels like he should crawl away in the Forbidden Forest right now.

“What are you talking about?”

She purses her lips and exhales. “I'm talking about your lycanthropy.”

He is completely daft– it's even worse. That Sirius knows, naturally, and Lily has pieced together. James dared to also confirm it to her and now Remus’ shameful secret, one of but it is easily the worst he realises now, is out to one of the few people he wants to keep in his life.

[ifyouknowmenahyoudontt]

canon sucks in the sense that there should be more characters of color than we can count on our fingers, more canonically queer characters, more disabled or neurodivergent characters. not everyone should be cishet, white, and neurotypical. ( and the "erm but actually dumbledore was gay and hermione was black!" bullshit doesn't satisfy this ) and i applaud the old fans for getting over the old faceclaims ( aaron taylor johnson, andrew garfield, ben barnes... i salute the many edits of them ) and the new age fandom for keeping up the poc headcanons!!

canon sucks in the sense that while we can have complex characters, morally grey leaning dark characters, those characters should not try to be slotted into "good or bad." those characters shouldn't have very brief redemptions that suddenly make them heroes and epic good guys after entire books of assholery and even bigotry. two guesses as to who i'm talking about here!

canon does not suck in the "my favorite character may have maybe a sentence of plot relevance doesn't get enough attention, so i'm going to ignore all the canon things that point to them being a bigot and instead woobify them and try to make them more important than they actually were" way.

like, fanon regulus black my ABHORRED. while he wasn't abused himself, was canonically the favorite of his parents because he aligned with their ideals, it's interesting to explore sirius' complicated thoughts on his little brother. one that many mistreated and abused older siblings have when it comes to their younger- could i have done more, could i have saved him, changed him, etc. but acting like regulus wouldn't have hated his guts and wanted sirius dead, literally became a death eater and fully agreed with voldemort's ideals?? did we read the same books?

and canon does not suck in the "i'm going to take these cool complex characters and dumb them down to a single personality trait or stereotype, and pretend they're not a complex person with flaws" way.

like, i love james and sirius, literally my favorite characters! they were not always the good guys. canonically, even if he turned out to be an exponentially worse person, they were the villains in someone's story. they used to be bullies, just for the sake of it. they used to be asshole teenage boys with big egos and privilege ( both coming from wealthy pureblood households ). and they don't have to use that privilege AGAINST anyone! they obviously wouldn't, both of them are considered "blood traitors" for a reason ( james marrying a muggleborn and sirius even associating with james and lily and remus ).

it's so much more interesting to explore how they would have been as privileged little dickheads in the 70s in the midst of war, rather than "sunshine himbo james" and "femboy twink sirius" ( or if we wanna go back to old fandom shit, "sexy, lady-killer, has fucked everyone and their mom sirius" ). i also just hate "big sexy strict alpha remus," i can stand him being sarcastic because it's funny but i can't with people who take away his shyness and kindness. give us quiet bookworm remus back PLEASSEEE

even peter, and i used to be a victim of this as well- THEY LIKED HIM! peter was a marauder, he was part of the group, he was their best friend too. i understand people who try to erase him altogether just out of hating him, but those who pretend that james, sirius, and remus didn't care for him are just wrong. it's okay to not like a character, but don't rewrite canon in a way that fully fucks up the story. peter's betrayal sucked from all angles, because he was their friend too.

and reading what you and multiple other people have said about lily is so right, she gets the "jealous straight girl that wants james but HATES REGULUS for stealing jamie!!" treatment, or is just cast out altogether. like, sorry, who did harry get his striking green eyes from? who brought him into the goddamn world? james sure as hell didn't do it alone, and last i checked, regulus was dead by then if we wanna be real about it.

this turned out to be an insane rant, SO sorry, but hp is my special interest and i LOVE the marauders era just as much as i love the golden trio era. they're interesting to explore as characters, ESPECIALLY james, in the same way a lot of people like rose quartz from steven universe? he's spoken about as this infamous, talented, really good dude who died protecting his wife and son and helped bring upon the savior of the wizarding world. but he was also like a huge asshole when he was in school, and harry probably would have hated to meet james and sirius from back then! but people dumb all of them down in the marauders era works just because we don't get explicit descriptions or tellings of what they were like. and it's so annoying!!

i strongly agree with this.

tbh regulus being one of the most popular character speaks a lot about this fandom. bigotry is a broad term and those who criticize JKR (rightfully tho) but go on again to do that to women? or the poc? hypocritical

and the fanon remus thing pisses me off so bad because the point of his character was that he was a soft and sensitive person contrasting with his “condition”!!!! he was human!!!!!!

i agree w this sm

[moonmanatee]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

sweet @saintgarbanzo tagged me even though he knows I’ve got but the one lil fic! then it got lost in my drafts. this might be a bit silly but cool to see where I’m starting, maybe. thank you, chickpea! you can find his lovely answers here 🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

just one: Sun Shower!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

5950

3. What fandoms do you write for?

so far just HP, but I’ve got some drafts of other stuff (some SOC, AML, etc) that I may or may not keep working on. I did just cannibalize my favorite line from a wesper wip for a drarry one sooo we shall see

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha! sun shower

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do - commenting is probably my most favorite part of being a fic reader, so the comments section is important to me. there’s so much to love out there, and the comments are my favorite place to express it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

none! don’t think I’m angst guy, really. I have some wips with pining, with complicated family feelings, with hurt, but it doesn’t quite feel like angst. and certainly won’t end that way!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

well, surprise: sun shower has a pretty sweet ending. it feels like a beginning more than an ending, though.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t! does it count if my partner is like ‘noooo, abandoning me for the laptop again’

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hmm, I think my smut is overwhelming and reverent and enthusiastic and honest and probably a little excessive. and WANT. and kinky. once I share some you’ll have to let me know if this is accurate

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

my mind is always thinking in connections, but that usually comes out in AU form (drarry: grace & frankie! parent trap!! the beckhams!! wesper princess diaries 2 AU!!!), rather than like everyone showing up in the same scene. so no, i guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

not yet, but I think I would really love this. I feel so much love about other people’s writing and so excited to share in ideas, so I feel like this format would be such a delight for me.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don’t think I have one all-time, because once I love something I love it forever. so I just keep collecting more all-time favorites. but drarry I feel the most immense about and committed to, which is saying something because there’s very little I love that I don’t love immensely. and to be honest, my commitment to drarry is certainly because I love them as characters, but it is also about the community being so wonderful. so thank you, y’all, it’s really special here.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably never will?

so I had this completely bonkers idea that I call “avada banana tag” which is when someone dies everyone they avada-ed comes back to life, like banana tag. i.e. when Molly kills Bellatrix, we get Sirius back, etc (yes I know that only happens in the movie but bear with me for goofy concept reasons). like, the spell only holds as long as they do? makes it a pretty short-sighted way of killing someone. but that’s as far as the idea goes because it’s so absurd and messy, and I don’t think canon rewrites are something I’d know how to do justice. but I think it’s so funny and fascinating, so if anyone wants to run with it please feel free

16. What are your biggest writing strengths?

100% it’s coming up with ideas. you should see my idea dump document, it’s abundant in there. and maybe description, I hope, and sensory experiences

17. What are your biggest writing weaknesses?

I won’t call it a weakness but I have less experience with plotty things, and get really stuck in dialogue that feels off.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I’m not fluent enough in anything else that I think I could do this myself, but as a reader I really love it, both when I do and don’t understand what’s going on. and I like communicating that they’re speaking in another language without just translating. I think I’d love to incorporate my other languages (spanish and ASL) into fic, and I also love when Draco speaks french. when it’s well done I think it’s so impactful!

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was actually someone else’s OCs, what feels like forever ago

20. What is your favorite fic you’ve written?

the one that’s still in my brain that I think about most days… it’s so very beautiful. I hope one day it makes it out of there!

though I love sun shower too. my first real guy, feels like a big deal, I’m proud of myself for doing it and actually sharing it!

I will tag @elskanellis, @getawayfox, @saintlupin, @rockingrobin69 if you want and haven’t already!!

[padfootagain]

Masterlist - Requests are still open! - The Tag list is open!

Hello everyone! Here is my posting schedule for the coming weeks! We're keeping the same rhythm with a new post every two days.

I've planned out over a longer period than usual because I'll start working again during that time, and I will have less time to write. So, I've written a lot these past two weeks to have more time to write for the next phase of updates!

We have TWO new series coming up! One for the Darkling, and one for Sirius Black... I'm also picking up Pirates! again for Caspian! I'm very excited, and I hope you enjoy these stories!

20/06/2023 - Old Crush

Ben Barnes x reader, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, one-shot, requested by an anon.

Summary: Ben didn’t know that you were a fan of his already before you started dating, and when he finds out, he doesn’t like it at all. All his insecurities are suddenly brought back to life…

22/06/2023 - Chapter 1 for The Last Ones on Earth

The Darkling x reader, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions and depiction of warfare and violence, new series

Summary: You and the Darkling are a team, even if no one knows it. Beyond being a team, you are the only one he trusts, and he's the only one you care about, and you're each other's true love. But if you've kept your secrets hidden for a long time, now that the Sun Summoner is fighting against you, it's time to reveal who you are, and what you are capable of...

24/06/2023 - How to Make Sport Fun

Ben Barnes x reader, tooth-rotting fluff, domestic love, lots of teasing, one-shot, requested by @thenerdysimp

Summary: You hate working out. Ben hates working out. Lucky for the two of you, like most things in life, it’s more fun when you do it with someone you love.

26/06/2023 - Chapter 3 for You and the King

Caspian x reader, fluff, angst, Sequel to The King and You, on-going series

Summary: After meeting Caspian in your own world, you decide to follow him to Narnia, your love for him too strong for you to keep your old life. But as you discover the magic of Narnia, you soon realise that this extraordinary world is as dangerous as it is magnificent. Will your love for Caspian be enough to defeat your new enemies?

28/06/2023 - All Too Well

Sirius Black x reader, hurt/comfort, one-shot, written from a prompt by @reg-arcturus-black

Summary: Sirius is going through a rough day, as what he has lived with his parents comes back to haunt him. Luckily, you’re here for him. You always are, despite knowing everything about him.

30/06/2023 - Pride!

Ben Barnes x reader, tooth-rotting fluff, silly but adorable, just to close Pride month in a cute way, one-shot

Summary: You ask Ben to come with you to Pride, and he’s more than happy to show he’s a proud boyfriend.

02/07/2023 - Chapter 9 for Something Good

Ben Barnes x Reader, Professor AU!, angst, fluff, slow-burn, enemies to lovers, on-going series

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already iss. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

04/07/2023 - Chapter 4 for Isle of Dogs

Wolfstar, fluff, angst, slow-burn, modern AU, bookshop owner x tattoo artist AU, on-going series

Summary: Sirius and Remus have been kind of in love for a while, but are both too scared to confess their feelings. However, everything changes when their neighbourhood is threatened by a new real estate project. But if they might fail in their fight against the City, they could also find something sweeter along the way.

06/07/2023 - Chapter 4 for Pirates!

Caspian x Pirate!reader, angst, fluff, adventure, mentions and depiction of violence, on-going series

Summary: As ships disappear across the sea, Caspian is forced to go investigate himself. But to win against the wild uncharted waters he must cross to reach his people, he needs to bargain with pirates. And then, he finds you…

08/07/2023 - Pet Names

Ben Barnes x reader, fluff, domestic fluff, extreme adorableness, one-shot, requested by @thenerdysimp

Summary: You find this popular prank on Tik Tok and decide to try it on Ben. But when you call him by his full name instead of your usual adorable pet names, he panics more than anticipated, and it kind of backfires.

10/07/2023 - Part 1 for Where We Kept Out Magic

Sirius Black x Muggle!Reader, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, unbearable cuteness, new series

Summary: You and Sirius meet when you’re still young, and yet you fall head-over-heels for each other. But everything gets complicated when you learn that Sirius is a Wizard! Now, your whole world has to be reimagined. - This series is made of many independent snippets taken from Sirius and Muggle!Reader’s lovestory

12/07/2023 - Love on Tape

Ben Barnes x reader, fluff, too much sweetness, a menace for sure, the-one-for-which-I-bothered-you-all-with-the-11:11-release, one-shot, requested by @simpforhotties

Summary: Ben is working on his music video for 11:11, and he asks you to be a part of it. But not simply as a make-up artist, no, he wants to use this opportunity to announce your engagement, in a subtle way.

14/07/2023 - Chapter 5 for Because We Are Made of Dreams

Sirius Black x Original Female Character + Jily, rewriting of my first fic ever (because my English was terrible then and I wasn't very good at telling stories...), Slow Burn, Mature (graphic depiction of violence, mention of child abuse, graphic depiction of torture, mature themes), on-going series

Summary: The Marauders come back to Hogwarts to begin their sixth year there, and many things will change for them during these coming months. Outside the safety of their school, the world is growing darker. Inside the Castle, they’ll find both new friends and enemies.

[diamondmeadow]

ooh, I'm curious about Edinburgh Epic! 👀

So Edinburgh Epic is actually a strange thing, and I could talk about it forever. It is basically an idea that I used for one of my roleplays, which is now discontinued, but the whole premise is just too good to pass on, and I really hope I can turn it into a fic one day using my writing from it. The scary thing is, it can be nothing but a multichapter, possibly a very very long one at that, and I'm not very brave when it comes to longfic. It's sort of a band AU but not really at all. It takes place in Edinburgh, that's why Edinburgh Epic. Sirius trying to patch things up with the rest of the Marauders after he disappeared for five years after their graduation. He suddenly appears at their uni reunion and well, shit goes down. The reason for his disappearance silly as it can only get; he thinks Remus and James are in love (which isn't true, but it's still complicated). But of course, he's been pining for so long. And maybe Remus has been pining too, but god, they are oblivious. Sirius is not a very good person in this premise, but I love the idea of him as a very flawed being very much. It makes me want to write the fic all the more. There is a whole extensive lore for this that came around while the roleplay was going on, and much of it can't be used because the ideas are not all mine, but I'm hopeful I can rework it.

There are also a lot of graphics I made for the rp (fictional album covers), so posting some here for fun as well as a snippet I wrote for the rp.

If it's to any interest haha.

There he is. He is! This isn't a joke, but that's no surprise. Sirius could never doubt Remus after all; the other has never given him any reason to. Unlike Sirius, who's been giving them to everyone around him. His brows knit in an unconscious pained look, not because of his injuries, but because of the way Remus is looking at him. Sirius doesn't know what to do with himself. It is bright enough with all the city night lights, not like back in the quad with Reg, but Sirius now wishes it was the other way around. It's hard to look into the face of things he has done. Into Remus' face where it is all being reflected, the black eye that he's given him by an accident a burning testimony. Sirius wants to reach out, let his fingers apologise for him. Well, that privilege he lost years ago. And yes, Sirius has his reasons for everything, yes, he does, but no one is asking, no one is interested. Honestly, at this point he starts believing that's how that ought to be. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. He doesn't deserve a chance to explain. He doesn't deserve to be anywhere near Remus nor James nor Peter, nor anyone really. His eyes fall down to his own feet and watch his own steps as he follows Remus, wherever he os taking them. Just say something, anything. Whoever the thought is directed to. I'm sorry. Remus, Moony, Moons, I'm so terribly sorry. Looking up just enough to see the way Remus' pace looks strained and heavy, the way he is gripping at his cane, Sirius feels a pang of pain somewhere near his heart. Very real physical pain coupled with his lung feeling as if someone kept stomping on them. Remus, how are you? What can I do? Let me ... take ... Then Sirius hears him, sees the napkin at the edge of his vision. They stop. Sirius reaches out for the offered item, his fingers hesitating for a millisecond; does he have any right to accept the kindness? Remus, always thinking of others when the only person he should be thinking about is himself. Remus, who absolutely wouldn't accept others thinking about him the same way in spite of the fact he would give himself and his everything to anyone who asked. No, actually people don't even have to ask. Remus. At last, Sirius clutches the napkin in his hand, then in the other, finally neatly folding it, smoothing it on his palm, before pressing it under his nose. He inhales, closing his eyes, a familiar scent hitting his nostrils, but when he looks again, there's no trace of blood on the pristine fabric. It knows too. In itself or as a part of Remus even the napkin's rejecting him. "I... tried to clean up before. And now the blood's all dried up and won't really ... come off. That's okay." His voice comes off a little shaky as he rambles. Sirius is ashamed of how much the events of the night are affecting him. He is afraid Remus might come to pity him. But he's worthy of none of that genuine compassionate feeling the other is so capable of. Sirius quickly pushes the napkin into the pocket on his trousers instead before Remus can ask for it. At least... let me have this. Sirius looks up quickly. Is it okay? "How is your eye? Does it hurt very much?" No improvement shows in his voice. A car's passed them just as he speaks up again and his question is drowned in the sounds of the engine. He steps closer and repeats. "Does your eye hurt very much?"

[elysianymph]

using this as an opportunity to vent out my complicated feelings on the matter because i have so many things to say.

first of all, this entire reblog literally goes against everything mentioned in the ask and it hinges on the (unlikely) assumption that sirius and regulus loved and cared for each other like normal siblings do, which is a stretch given the house they were raised in. we know sirius dislikes regulus even after his death (which says a lot considering we as people are inclined to forgive and forget a person's wrongdoings after their death because you know... they're not here anymore. their actions don't matter and don't affect anything) and even if we don't explicitly know how regulus felt about sirius, we can go off of the fact that regulus didn't even trust sirius enough (or rather, didn't care enough) to tell him about the horcruxes and his betrayal of voldemort which seems like the logical thing to do??? considering sirius is clearly fighting against voldemort and even if regulus knew there was a spy in the order (highly unlikely because he didn't seem to be all that important in the death eater ranks despite the fact that he was a black), i doubt he would've even thought sirius was a possibility

"regulus WOULD blame sirius" would he though? even if regulus cared for sirius (which we don't know for sure btw), we know very well regulus DID agree with his family's views and, by extension, voldemort's ideology. as is expected from a sheltered child who grew up with conservative and controlling parents, a child who saw what happened to children and other family members who misbehaved and stepped out of line (alphard, androme, sirius - all disowned. and what worse fate is there for a child who has been taught their whole lives that their family is the only thing that matters?). would regulus see sirius leaving as a betrayal or as a chance to get ahead? as someone who stood by his parents, who probably believed sirius was a traitor and a disgrace, would he really blame sirius for literally making regulus' life easier? i doubt regulus was overjoyed when all the responsibilities of an heir caught up to him (not that he spent much time as one) but everything was better than sirius as head of house

"sirius would blame himself for not trying harder to get regulus to leave with him" would regulus, the guy who had voldemort news clippings permanently stuck to his wall, really want to leave? regulus was clearly proud of his family, of his status as a pureblood and what that meant in society, would he really want to leave that all behind? even if he did disagree, regulus would not be strong willed enough to actually voice his disagreement. and would sirius really blame himself for 'leaving' regulus behind? why would he when regulus probably didn't want to leave in the first place? would sirius even try to get through to regulus when he was already so lost in pureblood circles, surrounded by his family and other slytherins who went directly against everything sirius preached and stood by.

"regulus gave up his life for sirius" literally a point anon brought up in the original ask. this IS victim blaming and there is no other way around it. regulus' sacrifice had little to nothing to do with sirius or even with his family in general. regulus' sacrifice was primarily for himself and for kreacher. regulus wrote his final letter to voldemort probably equally as scared as he was proud of himself for figuring something out, as scared to die as he was smug for doing what he thought would bring voldemort down. because as much as regulus may have agreed with what voldemort was trying to do, he had also realized voldemort wasn't doing it only to bring back purity into the wizarding world, but to gain power for himself. regulus only acted against voldemort when voldemort's actions directly impacted regulus and his property (kreacher).

"regulus took on the dark mark so sirius wouldn't have to" i don't know where the idea that sirius was forced to get the dark mark and then left before that plan went through came from, but i find it so weird. the black family in most fanon interpretations is already abusive (which i think is taken too far in many cases but that's a different post), but for some reason the only way sirius can be 'justified' to run away is if they try to force him to take the dark mark?? which is such a stupid idea. there doesn't need to be a final 'catalyst' for a victim to finally leave an abusive situation.

either way it's highly unlike the black family would even want their heirs to be actively engaged in voldemort's plans. yes, they agreed with his ideals, but no black family members (other than bellatrix and regulus) took on the dark mark. why? because the black family are political figures and they're smart enough to stay just neutral enough so that in the worst case scenario (voldemort being defeated) they don't get punished. why would they risk their heirs getting sent to azkaban when they can stay 'neutral' (even though everyone knows who side they are on, but they can't prove anything in court) (and also because they were probably too proud of themselves and their status as the purest of the pure to bow down to voldemort and take on a whole role for him when he's literally beneath them??? never underestimate how full of themselves the black family probably was).

but despite this, regulus took on the dark mark. probably under bellatrix's influence (who herself was probably influenced by the lestranges) and took on the dark mark to improve the family's public image in pureblood circles (because all eyes would be on them after three family members got disowned in a relatively short amount of time). even if regulus was forced to take on the dark mark (again, unlikely) because sirius left, that still doesn't make it sirius' fault??? you can't blame the abusers reactions on the victim's actions???

this idea of the black brothers that twists their already tragic story into something worse purely for the sake of more angst does a disservice to both of their character and i'm honestly tired of it. fanon black brothers is one of the worst things i've seen this fandom do, let them be complex anf hate each other's guts because that's what it was probably like. ('but it doesn't need to be realistic!' and yet the most popular and well loved fanfic in this fandom includes racism, misogyny and homophobia bc it's 'realistic'. stop picking and choosing what fits your narrative the best)

i think what's frustrating about the whole "villainizing Sirius because he left Regulus behind" thing is that I think most of the fandom agrees with you in broad strokes and will reblog it and say how terrible it is but then continue to like... do it??? saying something like "regulus gave up his life for sirius" IS doing that, writing a text post about how "thinking about how regulus took the dark mark and sirius didn't have to" IS doing that, "hogwarts was the first day sirius left him but not the last :(", "omg barty and evan totally hate sirius and yell at him and are so mean to him while he cries because he left regulus" au, jegulus fic where james yells at sirius because sirius ran away from home, jegulus fic where sirius endlessly apologizes and regulus never ever questions his complicated feelings or grows or comes to a realization that sirius had a right to leave that house, black brothers angst hits so good :( and it's just an endless tiktok pov where everyone basically shits on sirius for running away, endless comments on endless fics saying how could sirius leave reg, he was just a child, sirius was such a bad brother, forgetting that sirius was a child too. it's really disheartening to me that so many people adopt this belief almost subconciously that no sirius running away wasn't bad uwu in abstract but actually wait no it was and he needs to atone for it and we are going to make other characters hate him for it. like... idk, it's just disheartening to see/

[morganalatina21]

Manipulating Death: Chapter Ten

Series Summary: When Harry discovers he has a twin sister that was hiding for years, he wants to know all about her, specially about her ability to bring people back to life.

a/n: I'm sorry it took me so long to post this one, I was trying to make it longer bc I intend to add a big time break next chapter and I needed everything to be in place, hope u enjoy it :)))

(Also, english isn’t my first language so I’m sorry in advance lol)

Last Chapter | Masterlist

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Pain.

That's all she felt.

Everywhere. Every single inch of her body was hovering and turning in pain.

Excruciating and extended.

Her eyes were blurry and took a long time to focus, and even a longer to realize where she was. The basement of her house.

And that sad figure on the stairs certainly was Sirius Black.

Felt like her brain got flipped, like someone stole and juggled around with it just to return it shaky and scared. The last thing she remembered was Regulus, standing right where his brother is, pulling her closer and closer to the living world.

Fuck, she was back.

"Holy smokes." The man said, crawling closer and closer to her, wand in hand just in case. "Are you really...?"

She blinked her eyes at him, trying to move the lips but feeling the throat ache like she just swallowed a cup of sand and glass.

"That's insane!" He shouted, a small smile on his lips. "But that's like... the eighth most insane thing that I've seen this last weeks."

The jokes were made to stop the tears from falling even though she could notice how his eyes sparkled.

Y/n was alive once more, he hadn't disappointed James and Lily again.

"Hold still, I'll grab you a cup of water." He mumbled just above a breath, and stood up, running to the kitchen. "Here ya go, mini Evans."

Pushing the liquid down her throat, she felt it burning like firewhiskey. Merlin, that hurt.

"Where's.... Reggie?" She whispered, voice breaking and exploding into coughing just as she finished her sentence. "He was here."

"He went back to the house, couldn't bare to look at you any longer." He told, caressing her hair as it slowly gained a little more color. "I said I'd stay behind to take care of your body until he was ready to give you a funeral. I offered to clean the house but he declined."

Of course he would, she thought, Regulus hated when things weren't adjusted his way. When they started living together, he finally had some control of what his house could look like and he wasn't ready to give it up.

His speech.

How he felt for her, even almost made her not regret kissing him the last time they saw each other.

"Take me to him." She pleaded, feeling her bones ache and flesh twist inside her body. "I need Reggie."

"I know you two have this really complicated relationship and shit, but right now you need to rest." He mocked, shaking his head no, like an old father who knew his kid was in love.

"Padfoot." Y/n called sternly, dropping his act. "Do you know anything about resurrecting someone? No. And I don't have strength on my own. If he finds out I came back but re-died because you didn't apparate with me, he'll murder you."

Hell, she was right.

"We'll grab the potions needed and you'll take me to him." She instructed. "Right now, we're both serious."

He choked in a laugh, looking at her in shock that she'd make that joke right now.

But he had to admit, on his early years in Hogwarts he'd tell that joke and its variants all the time, so much the marauders and the girls would already anticipate them.

And for just a moment, Sirius saw James' eyes instead of hers.

Shrugging it off, he pulled her arm above his head and helped feet after feet going upstairs, wanting to get out of there but also not forcing her in case she wasn't strong enough.

But oh boy, she was.

"Take that drawer." Y/n instructed, nodding towards the same furniture she asked Remus a couple nights ago. "And those papers and books, you can put it here." She said, opening a small backpack that was hidden under the coffee table. "It's for emergencies." She whispered upon seeing his gaze.

"Alright, what else do we need?"

The girl didn't answer, holding herself on the back rest of the biggest chair in the living room, shaky fingers gripping into the wood like her life depended on it.

Instead, she opted to whistle a light melody, looking at the main door, open wide due to the Death Eaters' forced entrance.

Sirius was starting at her like she just punched him in the face, asking what was wrong with her.

But he was surprised when two possessors came barging in, following the sound that came out of her lips.

She opened up the backpack and held it with both hands, her back pressed firmly against the wall for security.

The possessor didn't even hesitate to enter it, making their figures smaller and smaller to fit the tiny hole.

"What the..."

The biggest was Regulus' possessor, the one she ran after for the entire city they lived in two and a half years ago.

It's eyes found her pupils, just like the day she won his confidence, after two weeks of fighting each other through the streets.

Suffice to say, Regulus was less than pleased to see that thing once she came home with it, it was much bigger than the ones lying in the basement and stared holes in his face, desesperately wanting to possess his body once again.

The smaller was Luna's possessor, it was way shorter and it's eyes weren't in the slightest scary. That girl wouldn't take long to surpass the layers of the death world, so there wasn't that much work to do.

Once both were nice and organized in the backpack with the other supplies, she handed it over to Sirius.

"Ouch!" He yelled, feeling his head hit the ground and hands twist as soon as she let go of the bag.

"Careful, it's heavy." Her hoarse voice announced, almost giggling.

"Oh is it? I didn't notice!" He responded, forcing himself up and throwing the heavy backpack over his shoulder. "Anything else m'lady?"

Her eyes darted around, staring at every corner of that house, knowing she'd miss it so badly.

"Regulus already took a lot of your things, before you ask." Sirius groaned. "Like the hairbrush, the necklace and the tiara. He said you'd probably want to be buried with them."

The tiara, part of the costume Remus and Sirius got her for Halloween, the one that James died next to.

The younger Black was right. She wanted to be buried with those her whole life, but now maybe she'd give Harry the hairbrush, he had so little from their parents.

"Then that's all." She nodded, the feeling of missing it already shaking her body.

She'd miss waking up to find Regulus in the kitchen, hair pulled back in a small bun with teapot and two teacups on his hands.

Would certainly miss how they'd always want to move the furniture around the room without magic, and always ended up on the floor exhausted.

How sometimes they would feed the possessors like they were dogs.

How Regulus would always say he wanted a cat, and she'd tell him it would leave fur all around the house and he'd go mental with the animal.

That's when she realized.

Sure the house was a big part of her.

But what she missed really was him.

That obnoxiously intelligent man, she loved to mess with. She loved to see him.

She loved him.

And after literally dying, she was ready to admit that. But not to him, never.

To herself.

She could now accept the fact that the long stares when she looked at him, how she fell asleep in his arms every night, led to her feeling that way.

And it was fine.

What was not fine however was the turning and circling in her stomach when they landed right in front of the Order's house.

Her vision was so blurry she could barely see the doorknob Sirius was turning and pushing their way inside.

The Black had to hold her weight by the elbows at the mere sensation she'd fall.

He tried his best not to announce to the painting of his mother that they were back, it would be a catastrophic disaster.

"Regulus is on his bedroom, last door to the left." He instructed, helping to stand on the stairs while turning around to meet his cousin Tonks.

Y/n walked like an animal, with hand and knees, groaning in pain as it felt burning every inch of her skin.

She struggled all the path to the door Sirius mentioned, hearing him downstairs answer the girl's questions to make sure he wasn't a Death Eater.

Without any forces to get up or reach for the doorknob, she just banned slightly on his door.

No response.

Once again, she knocks three times, leaving her hand to rest on the wood, hoping for him to open soon before she passed out, backpack aching on her shoulders.

With a smooth crack, a house elf stood in front of her, his eyes held even more than just disgust.

"Master Regulus don't want to be bothered." He announced, sounding more like a threat. "And he ordered me to petrificate anyone who's behind the door if they try again."

Scoffing, she held tight to the fabric of her pants to stop her fingers from shaking. "That's very you, Reggie."

Before Y/n even blinked, the door was swung open and her numb body fell to his feet.

"For the love of Merlin." The man muttered, kneeling in front of her and grabbing those shaky cheeks, staring intensely at her eyes. "Y/n?"

"I found you once, and then did it again." She concluded, a breaking smile appearing.

Exactly what she promised she'd do, and tears welled up on his eyes before pulling her in for a tight hug.

His hands wandered around, her hair, her cheeks, her arms, all the way down to her trembling knees.

"How?!? I- I saw..."

"I was in the first layer." The Potter answered, being pulled inside by the man.

"All this time?"

"Well, you waited for me all this time."

Regulus positioned her on the bed, placing two pillows behind her head to make it more comfortable and started opening the backpack, holding her hand the entire time.

The possessors jumped out of it, looking around the house and feeling excited with the air of trauma and pain all around, running in circles around his room.

"Kreacher, can you fetch something for them to eat?" He asked quickly, unscrewing the top of a bottle and lining it up on her lips.

"Fuck this tastes awful."

"I know. I've been there."

The girl lightly mocked his comment but smiled big after it.

Regulus was so focused on taking care of Y/n, turning potions down her throat as he saw her doing so many times before, he didn't even noticed Sirius figure peeking from the door, Remus right next to him.

Both men stared at their interactions, how the Black had a faint smile on his lips after so many nights of dark stares and sad tears.

Sirius tapped Lupin's shoulder, indicating their hands enlaced together with a smile so wide. The werewolf smiled too, seeing how Y/n looked at him adorably.

And they dared to deny they're in love! They thought, shaking heads together.

Stepping out, they closed the door to give them some privacy and some alone time, knowing damn well Harry would wake up in the morning and want to spend time with his sister.

Not to mention the insane amount of questions the others would have.

A few minutes later, he fed her the last potion needed for now, eyes and face with a lot more color and it didn't seem to hurt her to breath for so long.

"Kreacher, I want you to meet her properly." Regulus called, welcoming the elf closer to them. "This is Y/n Potter, she's Harry's twin. And the one that brought me back to life."

His eyes went big, taking over his entire scrunched up face and he bowed to her. "I am eternally grateful for bringing Master Regulus back."

"Well, he brought me back too, so I guess we're even now."

We are far from it, the Black thought but decided to stay shut about.

"You need to rest now." He informed, pulling her knees so she'd be fully laying down. "Hell no." Regulus ordered, standing up and letting go of her hands for just a bit, grabbing something on his drawers.

He came back in less than two seconds, grabbing her by the calf and shoving a sock on her foot, doing the exact same with the other one, mumbling curse words in french the entire time.

"Are your trying to convert me, Black?" She asked, a smug smile on her face when she looked at her feet now covered with wool socks in the Slytherin colors. "I see your second intentions."

"You just look pretty in green." He shrugged, trying not to make it obvious he wanted to see her with the colors of his house.

"Sure, of course I'll believe that, Slytherin Prince."

"Fine, if you don't want them..."

"No!" She fought, taking her feet away from his lap. "They're comfy." Regulus rolled his eyes. "Come on, we have to sleep. Wanna be the small spoon?" She suggested, smiling at him and already turning to be on her side.

"I have a better idea."

With a tight grip, he rolled her around to be chest up once again, spreading her legs a little in a motion that made her heart run circles inside her chest.

The Black made his way to be on top of her, between her legs, to which she squirmed a little bit, a chill spreading down her spine.

He lied all his weight on her, adjusting himself in a way his head would be placed on her chest, hearing the heartbeats.

"Relax, everything is fine now." Regulus said, noticing how quick paced they were. "I'll be here if you have any nightmares."

He nuzzle against her body, not moving his head once, wanting to make sure she was there.

Alive.

With the man she was in love with holding her tight, between her legs and head so close to her breasts, it was hard to relax. But she forced herself to, falling asleep like that, close to her loved one and the possessors guarding their sleep.

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"Y/n?"

She woke up, startled, breath hitching on her throat. Regulus was hovering over her.

"Which one was it?"

The Potter felt confused for just a moment, but noticed what he was talking about. She was squirming on her sleep and heartbeat so fast like a rat's heart.

He thought she was having a nightmare.

"Uh the- the one with Abby." She lied, breathing in and out. "But it's fine now, don't worry."

"Are you really?"

Opting for nodding instead of saying it, a bad sensation of thirst in her throat.

"I'm glad. Stay here, I'll bring you breakfast."

He quickly leaned in, leaving a gentle peck on her lips and getting up.

"Oh... oh, uh- oookay." She answered as he left the bedroom, leaving behind a very confused Y/n, with possessor who groaned something to her. "Oh shut it, you two." She grunted, trying to not make her smile so wide.

With two fingers, she pinched herself, making sure it wasn't a dream. But it happened the she was wide awake.

When he came back, a few minutes later, with her favorite breakfast in hands, she decided not to address it. He made it look so casual, as if they were doing this for years so she decided to leave it like that.

Sitting on the bed, back pushed to the headboard, she took in the breakfast, with Regulus lying his head on her thighs and staring at her the whole time.

"Are you sure you're fine?" She asked after swallowing the drink. "You haven't asked me anything yet."

"Because you won't know peace once those kids wake up." He replied, drawing shapes in the fabric of her pants. "Specially those two your brother calls best friends, I was one second away of cursing them."

"You be nice!" She averted, finger pointing at him. "You weren't any better, bombing me with questions every two minutes."

"That's totally different."

She laughed, taking the reforce potion with the rest of the meal.

They just kept in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's presence in the warmest way possible. Once again, just the two of them. How it has always been. How Regulus wanted it to be forever.

When the conversation outside started to get more and more crowded, the Black decided to call Harry.

Everyone noticed the sudden change of mood in the heir's movement, looking a lot more light and like a gentleman in the 1800s instead of a bloody vigilante assassin.

So for that, Harry was more than suspicious and refused to go upstairs.

"You're acting weird." The boy pointed. "And nothing changed, so I'm sorry if I don't trust you like she did."

"I'm sorry to break it to ya." The voice on the stairs said, attracting everyone attention. "But we've been kind of a package deal for the last years, so he's like this personalized keychange that comes with me, no refunds."

She was holding herself tightly to the handrail and using the biggest possessor as a support.

Regulus immediately held his hand out, being her new crutch despite rolling eyes at how she described him.

"A blood traitor! Regulus how could you?" The portrait of Walburga shouted, muffled because it was facing the wall but still making itself present. "Do you have any idea what we have done for you, just so you could come back and stab us with-"

They couldn't hear anything in a second, and all eyes turned to Sirius, but he was just as astonished.

"I didn't came back to hear mother scream at me again." The younger Black answered, making his brother's eyes sparkle looking at him.

"I'm so proud... Group hug?"

"Lay one finger on me and I'll snap all of your bones in half."

Y/n mouthed something like "He won't" without any sound, knowing Regulus enjoyed this powerful dark face he had.

"I'll take a family hug." She said, removing the hand from the possessor and reaching out for her brother, who immediately ran across the living room to get to her.

They embraced each other so hard the girl felt her bones aching, and held in a huff, just glad she was one again with her twin.

"I thought I lost you." Harry whispered, body shaking from falling tears.

"I never leave my family behind."

Taglist: @intoanothermind @moonysupremacy01 @maraudersarelifee @elleraelockwood @darkenwolfie @hopesf @lukewearingbeanies @azuredgalaxies @klazina-couch-potato @goldensunshineshit @kaverichauhan @venomsvl @mrs-billyrussooo @mikadorbs @iavenderh6ze @wizardsgrace @reblog-princess @dittos-blog-dylanobrien @roroswitherose @s-we-e-t-t-ea @ok-boke @warcelia @danyxthirstae01 @b-tchymoon @lovely-maryj @adriannamirse @seesaw-it @awritingtree @regulusblackloverr @coffeeaddictednymph @quackitysdrugdealer @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @teamspideyman @the-sander-fander

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Next Chapter

[masterofdeath]

Have you touched on Remus and Harry’s conflict in DH? If not, what’re your thoughts on it? I’m curious because I’ve seen a lot of people either saying Harry was totally out of line, or that Remus needed the wake-up call.

i believe i have touched on it, but i'm always willing to dive back in because remus and harry represent one of the saddest relationships ( or lack thereof ) in the series and i love wallowing.

to answer your question, i think both things are true. harry's not completely out of line, but he does weaponize his ( pretty justified ) anger at remus to uno-reverse an attempt to guilt him.

remus and harry's interactions post-poa are characterized with a sort of distance that they never really bridge. for remus' part, i think he is always most comfortable interacting with harry when there is a desk ( and purpose ) between them. he doesn't write harry, even after sirius dies when harry probably could have used his comfort and leaned on their relationship the most. even before that point, their interactions are prompted in some way by an external force. there's a lot that could go into the psychology of why remus does this, why he only feels comfortable with keeping his best friend's son at a distance, and a lot to be said about growing up with a chronic stigmatized illness.

but the thing is, if anyone were to at least attempt to start to understand that, it would be harry. it's why he understands that remus doesn't write him, but for him to be disappointed by anything another person does is pretty major and a show enough that he was actually deeply hurt by this.

so remus comes to him and evokes the image of james to smooth over all the messy complications and implications of leaving a wife and a child behind. again, this could even be something harry could relate to. could emphasize with, especially after he had broken up with ginny to chase after the very same cause. but because he gets remus, he knows this isn't for some 'stupid, noble' reason. he knows that his old professor is acting out of cowardice. ( and harry has very little tolerance for that ). where remus could have established himself in harry's life as the last bit of that connection with his father, he never really did. instead harry had to stumble to a place in which he felt closest to his parents, and with a purpose in the pieces of war i think he does. he clearly understands what his parents sacrificed, and understands what they would have wanted. it's the first time we see him really push back, and he's correct.

harry understands that he needs to burn the bridge for remus to stop viewing him as an escape route. but he also knows he's angry and once that train leaves the station harry can't always stop himself. this also falls in line with a series of actions that harry will stomach because it's 'what needs to be done'; even more in the past he is bullish in keeping his momentum moving forward in dh without much patience for obstacles. so he does what he needs to do, a reoccurring theme. because there is somewhere remus should be, and it’s not with him. he speaks out of anger towards someone he feels ought to know better, acting below himself.  not to mention by that time, i imagine, he's had about his fill of marauders trotting out his father for the sake of him doing what they want without any question.

there are a lot of ifs attached to the harry/remus dynamic. if remus had clearer intent behind his need to go with harry, if they had solidified their bond sooner things would have been easier. but harry told remus what he needed to hear, and i think to some extent said what he needed to.

[mirclealignr]

Regulus Black Fluff Alphabet

regulus x gn! reader

requested by anon

warnings; brief mentions of food and anxiety

from this alphabet

A - Affection; how they like to show their love.

Regulus does a lot through touch and reassuring looks/smiles. He finds it hard sometimes to express just how he feels about you, especially considering expressions of love were severely lacking in his life. But when he holds your hand or caresses your face, he feels as if he's spilling all his secrets, and hopes that you understand them.

B - Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

Your warmth. At first it was practically disarming, but overtime he learned to embrace it and miss it when it was absent, when you were absent. It would be so different to what he was used to, especially with the people closest to him. But he would adore the change that was you.

C - Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

Most of the time he likes to have his arms around you, sitting up slightly while you lay against his chest. There's a sense of safety he finds in knowing that you can hear his heartbeat and that it doesn't scare you off. But sometimes, he likes it when you take him in your arms and he can nuzzle in the crook of your neck.

D - Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

He is simply a hopeless romantic, and loves to dance with you when it's dark and raining outside, when the two of you are almost completely alone. He loves watching you smile as the rain seeps into your clothes and dampens your hair, and when you rest your head on his chest for some shelter.

E - Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

Regulus likes to understand things before he gets excited about them with you. If you come running to him with an elated expression and start rambling about whatever brought you this pleasure, he'd want to know why. He'd want to understand you and relate to you. Almost always, he'd become just as excited as you.

F - First Date; your first date together.

The Astronomy Tower. Regulus would want to be alone with you, without prying or judging eyes. It wouldn't be much, maybe some snacks and a drink he brought for you, but he would want to hear you talk and laugh and to see you smile. He'd want to know your likes and dislikes, the memories you cherished, and things you looked back on and laughed at.

G - Goals; do they have things they want to achieve? Do they include you in these things?

For Regulus, his future goals remain largely unclear. Before you, he thought it was simple, but afterwards it would become far more complicated. With the weight of his family, and Sirius' abandonment making it heavier, he would often try to avoid the thought. But if you ever brought it up, he'd tell you that wherever you were, he would be.

H - Honesty; how open are they with you?

Very. Trust is something extremely important to him. While he may not tell you everything the second it happens, he does have every intention of letting you see every side of him, even the parts he wished would vanish from existence. Upon getting to know you, the trials of his family would be revealed slowly, rather than all at once, so he didn't overwhelm you. Of course, he'd be terrified, but he knew it was better that way, and he knew that you would love him all the same.

I - I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

Regulus does not say it first, though he'd be sure he felt it first. He confesses straight after you, though, and gradually says it more and more over time. Expressing his feelings would not come easy, and sometimes, rather than tell you how much he appreciated you for listening or how beautiful he thought you were, he simply said 'I love you' in replacement, hoping that it would be enough.

J - Jealousy; do they get jealous?

Not necessarily jealous, but rather insecure. When he sees you laughing with someone else, he'd wonder whether they were better suited to you--they were warmer, more free, happier. Perhaps he brought you down, perhaps he weighed you down, and though he didn't express these insecurities out loud, he'd always seem to be easily read by you. And you'd always be there to reassure him when you needed to.

K - Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

Your hands. For Regulus, hands mean so much, represent so much, and yours are his to kiss and hold as much as he pleases. To him it would feel incredibly intimate, despite the fact that your hands can touch others, but that they're only his to kiss and hold. People can always get close, but never as close as he can.

L - Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

The majority of the time, you are the little spoon. He likes the idea that he is able to protect you, actually make you feel safe and wanted; it's one of the things he prides himself on. But, there woulds be times when he needed to feel that, and revelled in the warmth of your embrace tightening around him, holding him close.

M - Melody; what’s your song together?

I think your song together would be 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' by The Beatles.

N - Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

Yes a few. Some of them would include 'treasure' and/or 'my treasure' because he adores you and could not think of anything better than you. For him, you are what people search for their whole lives, sometimes without ever finding it. And, because he speaks French, ‘mon chéri /ma chérie' for definite.

O - Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

It wasn't necessarily hard, just gradual. However, you would have always suspected that Regulus did not have it easy and were content with him going at his own pace, and appreciating that he was brave enough to reveal it all to you. It never seemed too slow, rushed, or overwhelming--he picked his timings well and never let things become too heavy. He'd also be very conscious that everyone had their own burdens, and would make sure he always left time and room for you to air anything you wanted or needed.

P - PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

Not very much at all. He prefers to show you his love when it's just the two of you. But he isn't afraid to let other people know that you're in a relationship, and will often intertwine his fingers with yours, whisper things in your ear, and kiss your temple.

Q - Quirk: a weird but loveable trait of theirs.

He never signs his name, he always signs R.A.B. Even when it's small notes to you, little love letters, or ordinary letters, he will never sign it as Regulus, but with his full initials.

R - Romance; how romantic are they?

So much. He loves leaving you love notes, writing love letters to you, slow dancing with you, playing music for you, watching the stars with you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, snuggling up in bed with you with a good book. He loves to do it all.

S - Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

Not really. Perhaps only ones he thinks would unnecessarily hurt you, like what his family says about you. He doesn't tell you because he doesn't think it matters, they don't matter to him, only you do, and he wants their words to mean nothing.

T - Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

He likes to, and he tries. He certainly likes surprising you, even if only to see that smile. He likes taking you places, learning your favourite songs on the piano simply because you like hearing them, taking you on spontaneous trips or dates. He's not on for grand, public gestures, but he still keeps excitement in the relationship his own way. But he also knows when things need to be slow and calm, and doesn't mind it either way.

U - Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

He knows that most things said would be wrong, even if they were intended to be reassuring and understanding. Even when you talk about what's bothering you or don't, it can be hard to say the right thing. So instead, he takes you in his arms, rubs your back, kisses your cheek and gets you any comfort foods that you wish for. Sometimes, words speak far less than actions.

V - Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

With his family, and even with Sirius, Regulus can lose his temper very quickly, but you understand that their relationship has not been easy, nor do you care for his family. With you, it's rare that he loses his temper or raises his voice at you. When he does, there are usually other factors that have contributed to his mood, and he is quick to apologise afterwards.

W - Weakness; what’s their weakness what it comes to you?

Your smile. So easily it can make him feel like he's falling from the stars, watching the constellations become smaller and smaller as he slips into the earth's atmosphere, burning and smiling and falling completely in love with you every time he sees it.

X - Xtra; random hc about them.

Regulus likes to speak in French to you when there are things he is too afraid to say or things he thinks sound more romantic when said in another language. Even if you can understand him, there's something less nerve-racking about saying it in French, it's almost like he's playing himself in another world, but still hopelessly in love with you.

Y - Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

He doesn't like to think about the future often because he knows how easily it can change and fail to meet your expectations. He only hopes that he is with you, facing whatever is to come. He prefers to focus on the present, where he already is with you.

Z - Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

Incredibly still, almost scarily still. The only time he moves is to be closer to you, closer to your exuding warmth. It almost frightens you to move in case it wakes him or disturbs him, but if it does, he never lets on. - - - fill in this form or send an ask to be added to a tag list <3 forever friends; @myalupinblack / @selenes-sun / @vixxiann /@queen-asteria04 / @lillict / @savingpluto /@theincredibledeadlyviper / @pad-foots / @fizzleberries / @willowbleedsonpaper / @kinkyduuh harry potter; @fuckingbloodyhello / @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts / @scvrllet / @dreamerinthesun / @crazy-beautiful / @chaoticgirl04 /@cupids-crystals / @fandom-life-12 / @mypainistemporary-blog /@oliverwoodmarrymepls / @eunoniaa / @missryerye marauders era; @spxllcxstxr / @natashxromanovfreads / @ch /@sereinegemini / @helen-with-an-a / @sweeter-than-strawberries /@spxncervibes regulus black; @jackys-stuff-blog / @with-love-anu / @yinrose98 /@tarorootboba / @lyaseille / @bloodblossom73

[willowbleedsonpaper]

Happy With You

Sirius Black x Female Reader

W.C. : 2800

Request: Hiii wifey ;) may I request a fic for the love of my life sirius black? Maybe the reader is james’ little sibling?Also, lots of yearning/ mutual pining please 😭 but please pleaseeee make it a happy ending cause shattered part one left me HEART BROKEN

A/N: Thanks for the request lovely! I had so much fun writing this I hope you and everyone enjoy it.

| Masterlist | Request are open |

Maybe it was the way she spoke, like her words were written in the finest sheets of parchment by all the blessed people that got to listen to her, as if her voice carried the melody of a siren and attracted everyone in her direction. It definitely had that effect on Sirius Black.

Sirius wanted to follow her to every place she set foot on, listen to her talk as full of passion and excitement as she always did. She had a magnet to her, a magnet that pulled him and made him want to talk to her all the time. Or just be with her, sitting on grass just outside of the castle as she played and ran, maybe he’d play with her. Laughter flowing with the cold breeze as he wrapped his arm around her waist and spun her in the air.

“Sirius!”

That wasn’t her voice.

“Merlin, we’ve lost him.”

But it was close enough.

“Huh?” Sirius murmured, lifting his head from the book open in the desk in front of him. He shook his head softly, eyes focusing on round glasses before he could see beyond the lens and into brown eyes. Not quite the ones he was hoping for, though. “What is it?”

“Never seen you so invested in something.” James chuckled. If only he knew. “Do you get what the professor is talking about?” he asked, spinning the book in the air to see if maybe he got it upside down with no luck, the book was on the right side and just as it was supposed to be read “I reckon he stopped speaking English hours ago.”

Sirius laughed at that, turning to see Peter just as confused as James and then to Remus, the only one actually taking notes “Moony gets it.” he said, pointing towards the brown haired boy with a small grin. “Ask him.”

“Oh, we know Moony gets it.” James said humorlessly, snatching the book from Sirius’ hands “He’ll explain to us later, but I need to understand now.” He turned back on his seat, stealing glances from Remus’ papers as Remus moved slightly to the left, giving James a better view.

“Do you get it?” Sirius whispered in Peter’s direction, the boy calmly taking notes as he nodded.

“I think so.” he answered “Just found the part in the text that he’s talking about. But the professor already asked James, he didn’t know the answer and he’s about to get detention that would get him out of the next Quidditch practices. He 's desperate.”

“Figures.” Sirius laughed under his breath, shaking his head as he started taking notes about what he thought was important or worth remembering “Maybe whisper the answer to him next time.”

“I’m barely understanding myself.” Peter murmured, turning to Sirius “I thought you would know, we lost you to that book for a minute there.” He said, pointing to the same page Peter had opened in his book, but Sirius just shook his head “Just as lost as you.” he mumbled, but the hint in his voice was clear that he didn’t mean the class.

*******

You stood next to your professor’s desk, your friend just behind you as you asked the few questions you still had about your class that just ended. That was when the loud voices reached your ears and you smiled internally, James was close.

“...and that would be the more complicated uses of the charm.” the raspy sound of your professor’s voice ceased and you had to stop yourself from running out of the classroom right there and then. He is always with him.

“Thank you, professor. I understand better now.” you smiled at him, taking your friend’s wrist as you slowly started to walk “We’ll see you next class.!” you said, your face a blur as you ran outside dragging your friend with you.

“What 's the rush?!” she yelled over the fuzz of the students changing classes and the wind flowing in your ears. Her hand shot up in the air, holding down the hat on her head as you sped through the halls following the trail only they could leave.

“They were here.” you informed her, avoiding all the people in your way.

“Godric, you’re out of your mind.” she laughed, but followed you anyway.

Just as the hallways started to get clearer you got the advantage of finding the four heads you were looking for, just standing in the middle of the entrance to the castle like they owned the place. Somehow, you knew they did and no one had the courage to admit it. They knew it too well and had no need to put it into words. Yes, they got detention and caused more trouble than the entire school together, but most of Hogwarts loved them and they got away with more than they should be able to, even professors had a soft spot for them. They had a nameless power over Hogwarts and they knew it. But you had power over one of them.

“James Potter!” you yelled, marching towards them as you still held onto your friend's hand.

His head snapped up to you, the momentarily fear that he showed on his face quickly turning into a grin as he ran towards you with open arms. You squealed, leaving your friend's side to run to him, bodies crashing as he hugged you tightly.

“Hello, little one.” he said excitedly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he ruffled your hair, the groan leaving your mouth only making his grin grow.

“I'm almost as tall as you.” you complained, standing on your tiptoes to see him eye to eye for one second “See?” you said, the effort making you drop to your actual height, the low giggles coming from your friend making you get away from James. “And only a year younger.” you said matter of factly, taking his hand and guiding his arm away from you, just it time to see his friends catching up with him. “Hello boys.” you greeted them with a smile. They all thought you had a light to you that they loved, your first days at Hogwarts had been spent with them and they immediately made you feel like a part of their group. The feeling had stuck until the present day, even if you had your own friends and didn’t spend much time with them as you once did, they had grown to look out for you in their own ways. They all saw you like a little sister and you saw them all like family, but the ache in your heart screamed to this day for something more from a certain someone, your eyes lingering a second longer on him before you turned back to James.

“What did you do now?” you said accusatively, crossing your arms over your chest. You had seen the terror slide from his face the moment he saw it was you calling his full name, he had done something and you knew it.

“Nothing.” he answered defensively, his face tensing as he turned away from you. “We actually have to get to class so I’ll see you later , you goblin.” he stretched his arm, ruffling your hair again before he took off running. “Bye Willow!” he yelled, waving his hand in the air as your friend did the same.

Remus, Peter and Sirius said their goodbyes quickly, following James closely as you and Willow stood there watching them go, only you noticing the slow steps that Sirius was taking, his head turned towards you as he waved his hand. Your giggle echoed the stone walls as he winked in your direction, a smile forming in your face as he finally disappeared from your sight.

“Merlin, that lasted forever.” Willow breathed out.

“What lasted forever?” you asked her, starting to walk beside her.

“Please, I had to fight the urge to cover my eyes.” she said, laughing in the end. A silence followed her words and she turned to see your confused face as you walked “You and Sirius?” she explained in a whisper, as if the words were forbidden to anyone to say out loud.

You continue walking, your confusion only growing as you stared at her “Wh-What about me and him?” you asked with a string of voice, the sound making Willow relax as she flashed you with a smile.

“Are you that oblivious or you're just in denial?” she asked incredulously “He obviously has a thing for you.” You shushed her quickly, covering her mouth with your hand when her voice raised, the sudden motion capturing the attention of a couple of older students. You smiled tightly in their direction, letting go of your hold on Willow as she stuck her tongue out in your direction, the other students gave you an awkward look but carried on their way without a second look in your direction.

“No need to announce it to the entirety of Hogwarts.” you muttered under your breath, a knowing smile on your friends lips as she nodded successfully.

“So you agree he has a thing for you?” with a huff you nodded, rolling your eyes at the squeal she let out. Her hand took hold of your shoulder and she shook you gently “And do you?” she asked “Do you feel something for him?”

Suddenly, your eyes found every single detail of the castle interesting, your eyes landing on every wall with the most intense curiosity as to avoid Willow’s eyes, but there was no escaping her glare “Oh, c´mon!” you hissed, covering your face and dragging your hands down your face “Have you seen him? Of course I have a thing for him.”

Willow laughed but kept her now warm gaze calm on you “But do you have feelings for him?” she asked.

You snapped out of the embarrassed state you were in, turning to her with a frown “I don’t know.” you admitted.

Truly, you didn’t know.

*******

The weekend arrived at Hogwarts, the sunlight shining softly through the windows and over the faces of those closest to them as the birds sang just outside to greet the early risers.

You groaned as soon as the sun caressed the side of your face. “Five more minutes.” you mumbled, covering your face with your pillow, turning to the opposite side with your back to the window.

The quiet room soon was filled with soft snores that you tried to ignore, the noise only growing louder as you pressed the pillow harder against your face. Your eyes snapped open and you rose, supporting your weight on your forearms as you glared to the bed right to yours. One minute passed, then two and then three and you thought you held back enough. Your hand reached for your pillow, throwing it with all your force towards Willow’s face.

Her sudden scream was muffled by the tangled covers that got all over her face as she fell from her bed. The entire mess of limbs and sputter of words lasted for only a second before she emerged from her covers, her eyes instantly landing on you “What was that for?!” she demanded, taking the pillow from beside her and throwing it back.

Ducking her throw, you narrowed your eyes “You’re loud,” you said, getting out of bed “and I’m hungry.”

*******

“I looooove pancakes.” Willow murmured as she took a seat, getting her plate and starting to serve the food without another thought.

A breathy laugh left your lips, taking your spot right in between James and Willow “What Willow means is good morning.” you said with a smile. It had become a habit to have breakfast with James on the weekends when your house didn’t matter and everyone could enjoy their meals without colors keeping them from other students.

“And she lives.” James laughed at the sight of you “You’re an early bird now?”

You glared at him, glancing at Willow once before you huffed heavily “You can blame the bear having breakfast over there.” you said, pointing at her.

She limited to wave a dismissive hand in your direction, her focus on the food in front of her more than in any other thing.

Everyone laughed at your friend’s behaviour, the sleep still in her eyes as she ate. She was oblivious to all the eyes in her.

“Can someone get me the syrup, please?” you asked, reaching your hand in the air. A familiar warmth in your fingertips made you raise your head, your hand lingering there for a moment before you smiled “Thank you.” you told Sirius, a glint in your eyes as you stared at him. His own smile didn’t go unnoticed by you and that sense of calm filled you once more. How could someone so chaotic be such a calming presence to you?

Breakfast became your favorite moment of the week. It was the moment of the week where you had an excuse to be near Sirius, where you could sit next to him and no one would question it. Breakfast became more than just being able to sit close to him or accidentally brushing your hands together. Saturday mornings became your mornings, just you and Sirius. As if the world knew it was the only time and place you could share knowing glances, where smiles looked brighter and the feeling of butterflies wilder. Sirius could swear that holding your hand underneath the table was the best feeling, one where he could swear your skin felt softer and your palm warmer. No one could say a thing, because it was just you and him. Y/N and Sirius.

In those short minutes or rapid hours no words were needed.

But Sirius loved taking risks.

You look lovely, by the way he would whisper in your ear, away from the noise and praying eyes of the rest of your friends.

Soon, the time you two had on the weekend over breakfast wasn’t enough. You started meeting late in the evenings when most of the students prefer to stay inside the castle to avoid the chill air. You two had no problem with it, you had come to enjoy it.

“Tell me more about it.” he asked you gently, his back resting against a tall tree. He held your hand in his, both intertwined and resting against your chest. “I’ve never heard of it before.”

You looked up at him, your head resting on his lap as you thought about it “Well, some muggles believe in witchcraft but not like we know it. You see, we have magic and come here to study it but only a few of us. They believe everyone can perform a spell with the right motivation, they use all kinds of herbs and crystals that we don’t.” you said, your free hand moving with your words as if it was a melody and you were directing “Some of them work with their ancestors and work hard to heal. It’s a completely different kind of witchcraft. They do spells, charms and rituals but not like we do, they even do it dancing. Can you imagine?” you asked, lifting from your position to look at him.

If it weren’t because you waited for his answer he could’ve stayed there watching you. For a moment he swore you were gleaming and he never wanted to let the image go from his mind. He saw you in a different light for the first time, one he hadn’t been able to see you from before. “Dancing?” he asked.

You nodded eagerly, standing and pulling him with you. You let go of his hand and started to move, spinning in your spot with your robes flowing around your bare feet. You took little jumps and started to move your hands with the flow of your hair just above your head.

He really couldn't resist.

You had closed your eyes at some point, giving him the chance to run up to you, the squeal that left your lips didn’t cover his laugh, his arm secured around your waist as he spun you in the air. You were both laughing, the sun setting behind your backs as he finally set you down and then he realized, he felt like all this was coming out of his dreams.

His arms stayed around your waist, swaying gently to the sound of your humming, his head resting comfortably on top of your head. “Are you happy?” he asked you.

You expected for your heartbeat to go crazy, for the palms of your hands to start sweating but all you felt was an overwhelming calm taking over you. You sigh, resting your back against his chest as he held you “I am.” you told him “I feel happy with you.”

TAGS

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Sirius Black

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[ashesandhackles]

The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince's Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

I really, really enjoy Sirius and Snape as characters and their respective narrative functions in story. But what gets me most about them is how much Rowling hints about their backgrounds and so much of it makes sense with regard to who they are as adults. So I am going to be breaking down a very small scene from Prince Tale and getting into long winded hypothesis about their respective childhoods.

So, let's start with Snape. The scene begins with Snape rushing to find Lily, already in his Hogwarts clothes. Harry notes he must have been eager to get out of his clothes - ones that look like he borrowed from his mother, as Petunia spitefully pointed out. This has always been a very interesting detail to me - first off, it indicates how poor Snape's family is. Second, this indicates his tiny rebellion from his father - he refuses to wear clothes of the abusive man, and prefers his mother's. I admit, I am partial to the reading that Snape refuses to associate with his father in tiny ways, rather than Tobias refusing to hand his son clothes.

(I have seen readings which say that it is also a sign of neglect - perhaps his parents bought clothes that simply don't fit him, but I am more inclined to think it's a hand me down, simply because Harry identifies so strongly with it. Because Harry knows what it is like to wear a hand me down that don't quite fit, that are too big for you, or the ones that make you look ridiculous.)

Lily and Petunia's relationship is fraught with Petunia's jealousy. And young Lily is upset over it when Snape meets her. "I am not talking to you. Tuney hates me" she tells him. "Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore". Young Lily shows signs of being extremely emotionally reactive and this scene is one of them. It's easier for her to deal with Petunia's rejection of her by telling Snape she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a childish displacement of her hurt over her sister's rejection. (I am genuinely baffled by interpretations that Lily and Hermione are similar. Hermione is very cognitive person, Lily, as we have been shown repeatedly in memories, is not).

Snape, however, with his bad history with Petunia and his inability/ poor social skills to understand why this matters to her, goes: "So what?"

Lily, who throws him a look of deep dislike, says "So she's my sister". This seed is important because this is what develops into "he doesn't get me" feeling she later displays in her teenage scenes with him. Interestingly, most of Lily's personal relationships have deeply interwined love and dislike - Petunia (whose rejection bothers her but she cheerfully informs Sirius that Harry nearly broke a vase her sister sent - which means there is resentment on her end too), James - who she was attracted to even before 7th year but also disliked at one point, and Snape - again, a contentious friendship filled with love and distance.

"She's only a -" we dont get to hear what Snape intended to say. And given his own acrimony with Petunia, it could be anything. However, I read it as "She's only a Muggle" because it ties into his feelings about his father. Snape, who is proud of being half a Prince, emphasizing his magical lineage from his mother's side, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home. (Barty Crouch Jr and Snape with their disappointing fathers - I imagine Voldemort is supremely attractive leader to people with broken homes like this)

Snape, by all accounts, shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother - and perhaps the only parent he seems to have regard for, is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.

Then, Snape reminds her that they are going to Hogwarts. He is already in his Hogwarts clothes - now, Snape gets to be the impressive figure. The one who told her about magic, who theorised about how Muggles get letters from magical people, the one who told her about Dementors and Azkaban. He has already left behind the Spinner's End version of him, he wants to bigger than that, and is keen to be in place of magical learning and to join Slytherin. Essentially, he shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult.

And here comes along James Potter, who looks around at the mention of Slytherin. James's comment uses Snape's line and directs it to Sirius instead and it becomes a conversation between them, as a way to bond more with a fellow "rowdy boy" Sirius. Effectively ignoring the other two.

Sirius as we see here, "does not smile" when James talks about Slytherin. He essentially says something that can be construed as a way to nip that conversation in bud: "My whole family has been in. Slytherin". This suggests to me that there is some loyalty to his family there and his disillusionment with them isn't entirely fixed yet. After all, Sirius's intense loyalty to his friends, more specifically James, did not come out of thin air. It is reasonable to suggest that he felt some loyalty to his family at some point and the intensity with which he regards his friends is a reaction to burned off and being a "displaced person without a family" as Rowling put it.

Interestingly, while his reaction to his mother and Bellatrix are obviously sore spots, his response to Regulus is comparatively quite soft. ("Stupid, idiot" - something he calls James later on in the same book, OOTP). I imagine Sirius has quite complicated feelings about his brother and he is capable of nuance (when the person isn't Snape, where his dislike seems to be borne of an intense projection): "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters". As someone who is grown up among them, Sirius would understand that.

His framing of Regulus's need to please his parents also further highlights what exactly is the source of disillusionment. He calls Regulus "soft enough to believe them" - which means he is crediting his own intelligence to see through his parents bigoted world view. Clearly, bigotry is not something the Blacks explained in a way that Sirius, eldest of their male line and their heir, bought it. It also probably didn't help the Blacks case that Grimmauld Place is in a Muggle neighborhood and that their eldest son is a bit of a wild boy with interest in pushing boundaries. His intellectual disconnect leads to the righteous rage he later feels but it began there. (Boy, it must suck to discover that everything you have been taught to value in the world and in yourself as the heir is essentially rubbish). Since his differences with his family began with seeds of intellectual disconnect rather than on intense empathy with downtrodden, it makes him, as a pureblooded privileged boy, unable to truly understand Lupin's fears regarding his lycanthropy. Hence, the Werewolf prank (I am not getting to the Snape bit, just the Lupin bit). To James' credit, he does understand what that means for Lupin and saves all three of them from different set of consequences.

Anyway, back to the scene. James, who has made an ass of himself in front of his new friend, who he was getting along with fine until now, then goes "Blimey, I thought you seemed alright". (Btw, I find James wildly large ego kind of hilarious here, especially in light of Snape's comment about him to Sirius in OOTP: "You will know he is so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him"). Sirius, who I believe has been raised like "royalty" as Blacks would, has good enough social skills to defuse a situation. He grins and says: "Maybe I will break the tradition".

This line is an indication of Sirius's desire for independence, an identity seperate from his family. The use of the word "tradition" is interesting. It sounds like Sirius is expected to behave in a certain way, the heir of Black family whose parents thought being a Black "made you practically royal". Adult Sirius is contemptuous of this, or their "valuable contribution to Ministry" which means they just gave gold - it tells me that any and all conditions put on him by his family were to fulfill tradition that is either worthless or holds no meaning in his eyes. The root of the emotional abuse Sirius suffers from his family is this - realising his parents love for him is conditional on him being a certain way. (In fact, you can read Regulus desire to emphasise his connection to the family as a reaction to what he sees with Sirius - Sirius does not behave, Mum and Dad don't love him). As a child with unconscious knowledge of lack of love, Sirius then acts out, they react, rinse and repeat "until he has had enough". Sirius chafes against boundaries well into adulthood and doesn't react well to people enforcing it on him, even if it is out of love for him. Cue the fire scene with Harry where he behaves as if Harry is rejecting him instead of protecting him.

Sirius asks James about where he wants to go, and Snape, who is incensed about James being insulting about a House he put stock in, which he made part of new identity (so that he is no longer that Snape boy from Spinner's End) and was in general trying to be impressive about in front of Lily, "makes a disparaging noise" once James talks of Gryffindor. Snape's response to James' : "Got a problem with that?" is interesting. He says: "If you'd rather be brawny, rather than brainy-"

This is an important value for Snape. He knows he is clever and values it. He spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has genuine thirst for learning and he hones it. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. He even mocks Hermione's lack of inventive answers: "Answer copied word to word from the textbook, but correct in essentials". He values originality. It may be me stretching this, but I am partial to the reading: this is his way of rejecting his father once again, who is implied to be a violent man. (in other words, someone who is hypermasculine - "brawny". In fact, Snape's rejection of hypermasculinity is a huge post on it's own - Potions (brewing, cauldrons - coded as feminine arts), the doe Patronus, his proficiency in Occlumency and Legliemency (intuitive mind arts, again seen archetypically feminine) etc).

"Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you are neither?" - Sirius is quick with emotionally cutting insults. Snape hasn't even finished his sentence, but Sirius is already on his case. Which suggests growing up in a household with sharp tongues. It's a fair assumption, given Mrs Black's half mad portrait. It also tallies with Sirius's talking about his mother: "My mother didn't have a heart Kreacher, she kept herself alive out of pure spite" . The wounds are fresh enough on this. (Another interesting way Snape and Sirius act as inverse mirrors - Snape rejects his father, Sirius rejects his mother. Sirius acts as proxy for James for Harry while Snape takes on Lily's role of protecting him). However, you know who else is spiteful? Sirius.

While James is the physical bully (the tripping Snape, doing most of the bullying in SWM), Sirius attacks emotionally. ( Sample the one about Snape's appearance - "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment, there will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word" or even the carelessly vicious- "Put that away, before Wormtail wets himself in excitement"). Curiously, with all that talk of how his mother being spiteful, it's her room he spends time in when he is depressed. (Again, in inverse mirror way, we can talk of how Snape looks for a father figure in Dumbledore - craves his validation and is proud of Dumbledore's trust in him). We could argue it's also because Buckbeak is there, and perhaps it's the largest room in the house, but it's very telling that's where Sirius spends time when he is "in a fit of sullens". Sirius's sense of abandonment from his family, makes him look for family connections with friends - a trait he shares with Harry. Interestingly, the first time he glimpses Harry in Privet Drive, Harry is also running away from home - just like he did. Anyway, I could go on.

[quindolyn]

can you write a james potter smut with a lot of choking, hair pulling and degradation :))

Patience Pays Off || James Potter

Word Count: 3834

A/N: I haven’t written in forever but this was for @randomoutsiders because it’s her birthday today. I know that I’m posting this after midnight her time but it’s still 9 here so I’m still celebrating Isa’s birthday. I love you baby. I’m still getting the hang of dom Jamie because in my head he’s my little sub and I have a hard time as seeing him as anything but the softest dom so this isn’t perfect

Warnings: rough sex, degradation, face slapping, spanking, dumbification, slapping reader’s tits, I think that’s it?

Masterlist

You were proud of yourself for making it through the entirety of the day without a major incident, since your first class of the day a fire had been burning in your belly, beginning as a mere flame before erupting into a blazing wildfire. Consuming you from the inside out.

The littlest thing made the fire burn hotter and brighter, the way James’ muscles flexed under his uniform as he walked through the hallways, shoulders back and arm around your waist like he owned the place. 

You couldn’t help but whimper, catching a glimpse of his toned abdomen as he stretched his arms upwards, loosening himself up after being hunched over a desk all day. You felt your heart skip a beat in your chest watching his hand grip his quill, jotting down notes in his sloppy handwriting.

All you could think about was how many better things we could do with those hands, how wasted they were on Transfiguration.

You couldn’t bear the thought of having to sit through dinner, watching his hands flex as he shoveled food from his plate into his mouth, eyes trained on his lips as he licked them clean of the remnants of his meal. It sounded like hell, but when you’d tugged on his sleeve right before the two of you entered the Great Hall, murmuring into his shoulder about how you just wanted to go up to his dorm you’d been shot down.

Knowing why you were so desperate to escape up to his dorm James simply told you to be patient as he tugged you into the hall, quickly ushering you over to your usual seat with his best friends and roommates. 

The whole endeavor had been just as hellish as it had sounded and by the time James was leading you up the stairs to his dorm, Remus and Sirius having disappeared to the Astronomy tower together.

As the door latched behind you you threw yourself at James’ chest, grappling for his shoulders as you smeared your forehead against his strong shoulder. 

“Daddy,” You mewled, feeling your pussy throb at the very feeling of his body under your hands as you dug your fingers into his shoulders.

James’ deep chuckle sounded from above you and you could feel the vibrations against your head, “Someone’s needy,” His large hand reached up, his fingers combing through your hair before anchoring themselves up towards the root of your hair. 

Using his hold on you he pulled your head backward so that you were forced to peer up at him, eyes wide and hazy from hours of being teased. Tears were beginning to well in your eyes as the sexual frustration of the day began to wash over you.

“M’not needy,” You whimpered, pushing yourself into him because even though you were pressed together it wasn’t enough. You needed more. 

“No baby? Not needy?” He asked, cocking his head to the side as hazel eyes held yours, the very feeling of his eyes on you had you squirming.

“No Daddy, not needy,” You insisted.

What succeeded that  was so abrupt that you almost didn’t register it but James lifted his hand, bringing it down against the side of your face, pulling a pathetic whine from you as the pain from his hand blossomed across your face. Instinctively you brought your hand up to soothe the warming flesh of your cheek but James caught your wrist before you could get too far.

“Don’t lie to me slut,” He growled, eyes darkening as he gazed down at you, said gaze hardening considerably, 

“That hurt,” You sniffed but the boy paid you no mind. 

“You’ve been needy for me all day, spent all of Charms hanging off my arm, ready to take my cock right there where everyone would’ve seen you. But you were too needy to even think about that.”

You felt shame pool in the pit of your belly at his statement, because no matter how much you’d try to deny it he was right. You would’ve let him take you right there if he wanted to. You could hear James’ voice ring through your head, Daddy’s needy girl.

“Am I wrong baby?” He asked almost like he could read your mind.

You shook your head but quickly remembered that you were to answer him verbally, “No Daddy, you’re not wrong.”

“There we go,” He cooed, bringing his thumb to the seal of your lips before pushing past it and letting his thumb rest against the flat of your tongue. You began sucking on the digit the second it landed on your tongue, humming around his finger as your eyes fluttered closed.

“Eyes open,” Your eyes were startled open as his rough fingers pinched at your clothed nipple through your uniform top and bra. 

James was silent as he let his eyes drag over your form, face open and pleading, your chest was heaving from the effort it took not to collapse onto the floor, your legs looking like they were about to buckle as your trembling knees knocked against each other.

“Were you horny all day baby?” He wondered as though the idea had just dawned on him.

You nodded, James' finger still lodged in your mouth before he slipped it out, wiping it clean not on his clothes but the material of your skirt. 

“On the bed bunny, and get all these pesky clothes off, I want my pretty whore naked for me.”

You scrambled to comply with his command, fingers clumsily pulling buttons through their respective holes before shrugging the garment off your shoulders allowing it to land somewhere on the floor around you. Your bra quickly followed and having already shed your footwear that left you only in the uniform skirt that had ridden up your thighs to the point where it was useless, barely even covering your panty clad pussy much less your ass.

You didn’t dare glimpse up at James to silently plead for help, knowing it would only ensure more mocking and teasing and you weren’t quite sure if you would be able to stand it. Instead, you stayed struggling with the difficult clasp at the top of the skirt’s zipper, slippery fingers struggling with the small hook.

“What? Can’t get it undone pretty baby?” James asked you from where he stood at the foot of the bed, you stood to the left of the mattress, brows furrowed as your head was dropped to examine the hook.

Your eyes flashed upwards, meeting James’ lust clouded gaze, hazel eyes trained on your face, he was doing little, if anything, to mask the sly smirk forming on his face from watching you fumble uselessly.

“It’s hard,” You insisted, quickly returning your eyes to the task at hand.

“I’m sure it is when you’re a dumb baby.”

“M’not dumb!” You raised your head in indignation, glaring at the boy who stood there as cockily as ever. 

“What was that?” His tone was harder than it had been mere seconds ago, the cocky smile slipping from his lips, “Who do you think you are, talking back?”

“You called me dumb Daddy,” You mumbled pathetically, casting your head down as the boy approached you, meeting your smaller figure in only a few strides, “And m’not,” Your voice stalled as your eyes lifted to meet the somber look on James’ face, “M’not dumb.”

James’ following silence was worse than any physical punishment he could dole out to you, the longer you stood there, eyes locked on James’, the louder your heartbeat became in your head. 

“Not dumb, huh? Then why is your skirt still fucking on? Did I say you could stop?”

At his words, your eyes dropped back down to the clasp where you found your fingers had stilled, almost shaking due to the intensity of his stare but no longer working on the task you’d been assigned.

Your fingers began to twitch again, trying to figure out the complicated clasp (though it was really only complicated thanks to the fog that had seemed to settle over your mind) but before you could make any progress the piece of fabric was torn from your waist with a force that had you reeling.

You could barely register the stinging along the skin of your waist and hips, all you knew was that there was a rush of slick flooding your pussy at James’ impressive show of strength. 

“Fucking useless,” The dark haired boy murmured, “Have to do everything myself.” As the words tumbled from his lips his large hands found the mounds of your breasts, squeezing them to the precipice where pain overrode pleasure. 

It took everything you had in you to not let your head tip back at the stimulation and let out the most pathetic whine. Knowing James would only use it as fuel was the only thing that kept you contained.

“Can get your panties off can’t you?” His right hand trailed down your form before encountering the waistband of said underwear, slipping a finger underneath it to pull the strap away from your hip before letting go and letting it snap back against your skin.

The contact stung but not enough for you to argue it with him, having wanted him all day you needed him, and you needed him now. Not even the wanting to voice your disdain for his action was going to get in the way of that. 

“Yes, Daddy,” You murmured obediently, sliding the panties down your hips before stepping out of them. A swift pat on the ass had you scampering onto the bed where you positioned yourself on your knees, hands clasped in your lap as you awaited James’ instruction

“Look at you,” The brunette muttered, a strong finger catching under the curve of your chin and using it to direct your visage upwards towards his, “On your knees for me like you know you’re supposed to be.”

“S’because I’m your good girl,” You mewled, trying to lean into James’ touch, seeking the comfort that came with it but sensing your intentions James quickly pulled his hand back, leaving you desperate for him to touch you.

Your thirst for said touch was quickly satisfied when he gripped your jaw in his hand, pushing your cheeks together, your lips forced out into a pout. You were sure that the grip he had on you was melding bruises into the side of your voice but you couldn’t summon the energy to care.

You were embarrassed to admit that the rough hold James had on you sent a tingle down your spine, a familiar throbbing in your pussy. 

“Gonna see how good for me you can actually be,” With those words James pushed your shoulders back onto the bed where you landed with a soft thud, straightening out your legs so that James could grab ahold of your ankles and wind them around his waist, pulling closer to you to trail his lips up the length of your torso. Leaving sloppy open mouthed kisses until he came to your tits, pinching each nipple between his fingers.

He delighted in the little whine you let out at that, using it as an invitation to roll the rosy buds between his fingers before palming your breasts, his large hands engulfing them. James groped the flesh before releasing your tits from his hold, an involuntary whimper leaving your lips at the lack of stimulation before he brought the palms of his hands down against them, smacking them harder than he had your face. 

“Fuck,” You breathed, attempting to clench your thighs together but met by the resistance of James’ hips positioned between them.

“Watch your mouth,” James scolded absentmindedly as he returned his mouth to your body, sucking hues of yellow and blue and purple into the soft skin before soothing the marks with his tongue. This gentle touch immediately followed by him nipping harshly at the forming bruises was jarring, jarring enough to have you bucking up into his hips. 

“Daddy please,” You’d had enough of the teasing touches and mocking smiles, you’d had enough of it all except for the one thing you really needed, his cock. 

“Use your words slut, tell me what you want.” 

“Want you please, want your cock. Need it so bad Daddy, so so bad,” You begged unabashedly, scratching your fingernails along his shoulder blades as you tried to pull him closer and closer to you.

“Desperate little cockwhore, want my cock so badly,” James grinned as he pushed himself off both you and the bed, peering down at your frame as he made quick work of the belt of his buckle. The clinking of metal was music to your ears and enough to have you propping yourself up on your elbows to watch him as he disrobed, shedding his clothes faster than any human reasonably should be able to.

Your mouth dropped open as James shed his last piece of clothing, inching his boxers down his muscled thighs until the length of his cock was able to pop out, escaping the restraints of the underwear. 

Though he hadn’t been letting on, his prick was all you needed to see to know he was as turned on as you were, just much better at hiding it. A good 8 inches in length his cock stood proud and tall, already engorged with blood the tip was a pretty rose color that seemed to be darkening by the second and you couldn’t help but lick your lips at the very sight of it. 

James took immense pleasure in watching your face as he worked his fist up and down his length, relishing in the way your eyes darkened considerably every time the head poked out the top of his fist.

“Hands and knees for me pretty slut,” You pushed yourself into the requested position, arching your back like you knew James would want you to, making sure to push your ass as far up into the air as possible.

You inhaled sharply as you felt the mattress shift, knowing that it was James settling in behind you you felt your pulse speed up, the anticipation was palpable as James smeared the leaking head of his cock over the globes of your ass.

“My whore, letting me rub my cock on her ass, making her all sticky and messy,” James punctuated his remark with a slap to your ass, though not the first time his hands had come down against you that night it for certain came with the most force behind it. You jolted forward at the impact before quickly sliding back into your position.

You could feel the blood rushing to your ass as it warmed under James’ hand which was now rubbing the afflicted area in attempts to soothe the skin. All efforts were in vain though when the hand was drawn back once again and brought down on almost the exact same spot. 

This time he managed to pull a strangled gasp from you, the pain only contributing to the heat beginning to boil in the pit of your belly. 

“Please,” You whined, arching your back even more and pushing your ass up against James, needing for him to relent and fill you up like you knew he could, “I’m done being patient I just need you.”

“Like you were ever patient, to begin with.”

“I was, I spent all day waiting for you to get up so you could fuck me and-”

Your bratty words had gotten you just what you wanted, James cut you off mid sentence as he pushed his cock into you, not even easing himself in he simply impaled you on his member. Hands found your hips and pulled you back to meet his so that your ass was still high in the air and he could be as deep inside of you as possible.

“Happy now you fucking cockslut? Happy now that Daddy’s fucking his pretty pussy?”

“Y-yes Daddy, your pussy” You stuttered out as the force of James’ thrusts dropped you down from your hands to your elbows, your hair tumbling in front of your face and effectively obscuring your vision.

This issue was quickly fixed as you felt James tug you up by your hair, using it to stabilize himself as he thrusted in and out of your ribbed walls. The friction his movement provided felt incredible, accompanied by the feeling of being full of his cock had the pleasure in your belly continuing to simmer.

If the distinctly wet sound of your pussy was any indicator you were absolutely soaked, James’ rough handling of you only reminding you how big and strong your boyfriend really was, how if he wanted to he could break you.

The pleasure in your belly was building quickly, with every sound of skin slapping against skin you felt your pussy ache, no matter that you were already stuffed full of his cock already. You needed more, you always needed more of him. 

“Slutty bunny,” James grunted as he planted his hands on your hips to hold you into place as he lifted his hips, able to reach deeper and deeper inside of you, “Such a whore for my cock, drooling over me all day. Is this what you wanted baby? Wanted Daddy to fuck you?”

“Yes! S’what I wanted, feels so good.”

“Of course it does, cock sluts just need to be full of Daddy’s cock, is that what you want bunny?”

“Yes, Daddy!” You screamed as you felt yourself being pushed further and further towards the edge of orgasm. Dancing dangerously close to the precipice of pleasure, so close you risked cumming without permission, and after hours and hours of desperation, you couldn’t afford to disappoint him. 

“Can feel you clenching around me slutty girl, you feel so fucking good around me, it’s like you were made for my cock.”

“I was Daddy, was made for your cock,” You were ready to say anything you needed to in order to get James’ permission to cum. Having abandoned all embarrassment, all shame, you didn’t care how much of a fool you’d make of yourself you just needed to cum. 

“That’s right slutty baby, you wanna cum? You wanna cum for Daddy?” 

His offer was enough to have you squealing if you weren’t gasping for breath with every powerful thrust, but you summoned the breath from within you to speak just a few simple words, “Yes please, wanna cum, let me cum please Daddy, have needed to cum all day I need it I need it please.”

Taking pity on you due to the desperation conveyed through your words James grunted his assent as he continued pistoning in and out of you. Eyes clenched as he felt your walls spasm around him, not wanting to cum quite yet.

You released a string of curses as you allowed yourself to tip over the edge of pleasure, putting up no resistance as it swallowed you in your entirety. You felt warmth rush through your every nerve as you became painfully aware of every sound and texture around you. 

The sounds of James’ low moans, the feeling of the silky sheets against your swaying breasts, the heat that emanated from your partner’s palms which had found sanctuary on the small of your back. It was like it was all sharpened to maximize the pleasure already coursing through your body, the feeling of James still moving in and out of you was intoxicating as your vision began to white over. 

The briefly sharpened senses faded, the noise in the room seemed to quiet to a low hum as you came down from your orgasm. But relief wasn’t what you were met with, instead it was James, still buried balls deep inside of you, allowing you to ride out your orgasm completely around his cock.

“Made such a fucking mess,” To prove his point James’ fingers dipped into the slick that had gathered at the apex of your thighs. Bringing the cum covered hand up he swiped the wetness off onto your back, adoring the way you looked covered in your own release. 

“Thank you, Daddy,” You blubbered, “Thank you for letting me cum.”

“Not quite done bunny,” James expertly flipped you from your knees onto your back, eyes watching hungrily as your tits bounced, nipples still hard from him playing with them earlier, “Daddy hasn’t cum yet, thinking I’m gonna cum on your pretty tits, look so hot when they bounce for me.”

Once you were settled in on your back James resumed his movements in and out of your cunt, he too was quickly approaching his release and the feeling of you around him was absolutely heavenly.

“So fucked out for me baby,” James grunted as his right hand found your throat, long fingers curling around your neck easily before squeezing lightly, watching the way your eyes went wide, “Stupid slut’s dumb on my cock. Giving you what you asked for and you’re too dumb to even try to work for it, I’ve gotta do all the work.”

You whined out at his degradation, squirming underneath him as his assault on your cunt overstimulated you to the brink of a second orgasm.

“G-gonna cum again Daddy,” You warned him, eyes fluttering shut as pleasure overwhelmed each of your senses. Even the room reeked of sex. 

“Are you there baby? Gonna cum twice before Daddy’s even cum once, greedy little thing,” James squeezed harder on your throat to the point where your mind became even fuzzier and a new sort of cloud settled over your mind. Just as the fuzz was beginning to get to be too much he released his hold on your throat.

Feeling himself approach orgasm James pulled out of your pussy, his hand quickly finding his cock and pumping it up and down as quickly as his wrist would allow him.

“Gonna cum on your tits baby, gonna cum all over your titties,” He moaned as he straddled your waist, continuing to work his cock in his hand.

“Fuck, m’gonna cum,” You closed your eyes as rope after rope of hot, white cum was shot across your tits, a few landing higher up on your body decorating your neck and one even reaching the side of your cheek.

“That’s it, that’s a good girl.”

You whined as the cum decorated your skin, making you even more pathetic looking than you already were.

“My slutty baby looks so pretty covered in my cum,” James smirked, collecting a line of cum off your chest on his finger before bringing the digit to your already parted lips. You dutifully sucked the digit into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before he pulled it from the warm cavity.

“M’not slutty,” You insisted.

“No? What kinda good girl lets her Daddy cum all over her then?”

You were silent, too gone to even begin to pick that fight.

“That’s right like I said, you’re my dumb slut.”

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