#it felt very much like a video game
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splattergutz · 5 months ago
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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ganondoodle · 11 months ago
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something i just realized about the sages (ignoring how frustrating to use i find the sages abilities overall) when they get their enigma stone they are like wow look at how much stronger i am now!! when its really just a ... clone of them, without the parts that make them interesting- the personality, and they "give" it to you (it doesnt feel like its really yours tho bc, unlike botw, its not intergrated into your moveset- which could have been solved by just adding them to another ability wheel- so it doesnt even feel like they are really yours) but ok i can see why its stronger even if i find it boring to just duplicate the character isntead of actually making their ability be more-
but then at the very end, they join you in the battle and .. dont even make use of it? what where the engima stones even for then? i guess you could bend over backwards and say well its bc their powers cant reach you all the way down there so they have to physical join you- BUT .. when they are right next to you .. shouldnt the connection to them be back anyway? so their clones should return shouldnt they? or is the entire arena just so surpressive of that power that it wouldnt work either way? then again ... what was its use then to get them to have those stones? like how ultra hand is supposedly the focus of the game but doesnt matter to the narrative at all?
(can you unsummon them when they are there?? i havent tried it but i dont think so ..)
like obviously it would be wayy too chaotic if all sages where there twice, especially together with all the ganondorf clones too- but it kinda .. once again... makes it feel meaningless that you even got them the stones? sure they only get to you when you do it but its really just again another check box with no substance, isnt it?
(... actually .. did anyone actually need the stones? aside from ganondorf getting that huge powerup somehow- like even the original sages and sonia and stuff, are you telling me she couldnt rewind ..................................... a tea cup, on her own? or i guess the only time sonia does anythign with her stone is when she gives its power to raurus laserbeam attack he never does again ... and the other sages arent shown to gain anything from it either?? are they?? what even would minerus ability have been bc she wasnt a -utterly useless- mech back then ... the shield she does doesnt seem unique to her either bc rauru literally does it too after sonia gets falcon-punched to death to block ganondorfs .. goo beam .... i mean i guess it doesnt matter anyway bc all we see them actually do is .. stand around and talk, sometimes "hurt" (dirty) sometimes not ... so whatever i guess?)
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cyellolemon · 5 months ago
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Gaming bfs!!! :) they're playing mario kart
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moe-broey · 7 days ago
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Every day I wake up, I'm full of inspiration and ambition, I lollygag a bit, I kinda skirt around it, I actively avoid The Thing I WANT to do. Then I just kinda give up and do something else.
#idk what's up w this but like. the more intensely i WANT the more i can't bring myself to do it.#like feh example like you'd think bc it's ALL i'm on about. i'd be deeply IN the source material#and i have felt i've been away doing my own thing for too long i need to revisit it. i Need to#but for some reason it's unbearable. not bad. i just can't bear it. i do NOT know what's up w that#i wanna keep listening to a playlist too (hoping it's still up) but like. i broke away. and i am struggling to return.#AND LIKE. BEYOND FEH. i feel this about video games in general like i have to do something that requires no commitment.#labyrinth of galleria was great for this. for some INEXPLICABLE reason. it is just a COMPLETELY different experience#like. the feelings i feel when playing galleria vs like etrian odyssey where i'm VERY attached to my guys#the most upsetting side effect is i feel like i'm losing alfonse's voice like i feel like i used to be able#to mimic his speech patterns PERFECTLY. but everything just feels off or not cleaned up enough#and again i can't fucking bear it. like i am almost going to fucking cry about it. like what is wrong here.#like WHY can't i get myself to DO. THE THINGS. I LIKE. THAT BRING ME JOY. THE COMMITMENT.#i think i'm also worried like i don't wanna get to the point where like. my blorbos are unrecognizable.#spent too much time in my head and now they're all warped and weird. but like. like. for some reason.#esp if i feel this INTENSE fucking affinity it's like. i get in this weird headspace where can't look directly at it.#i should do ANYTHING else. what is my fucking PROBLEM.#does anybody have a cure. or do i just give up forever.
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vaugarde · 2 months ago
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okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
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impossible-rat-babies · 20 days ago
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I love videos essays bc it’s like. huh I had feelings on that but thank you for putting it into deeper words and coherent feelings
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steakout-05 · 3 months ago
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something that had always been really frustrating for me when i was still in math classes in school was trying to watch the teacher actually work the problem out on the board and still not understanding wtf was happening. for some context, i heavily suspect that i have some form of dyscalculia because math and numbers literally do not compute properly in my brain. it'd be too long to explain the full extent of my possible dyscalculia here but math literally does the mental equivalent of maxing out the CPU power and memory of a computer to the point where it freezes and lags to my brain.
math class was always stressful for me because no matter what i did and how much progress i made, there was always a lack of understanding i had when it came to trying to work any math problem out long term and remembering anything. it felt like there was always something i was missing, so when the time came for the teacher to explain and go through a math problem step-by-step on the whiteboard, i made sure i paid as much attention to it as humanly possible as child-to-teenager me could muster and even then i still did not understand how the fuck they solved it, all because of one thing: the teacher pulling a random number completely out of their ass that happened to be the key to solving the problem.
like. i don't think i can illustrate how frustrating and isolating this was to experience with words alone. here i was, paying as much attention as i physically could, trying my damned hardest to memorise each individual step and calculation in order to understand how to get from point A to point B. everything made perfect sense up until the teacher suddenly stops for a second and writes a seemingly completely unrelated number there with no context as to why it's there in the first place, and then, in that singular moment, everything immediately comes crumbling down and i'm left completely confused. and somehow, everyone else around me perfectly understands it except me. like. imagine sitting there, giving the teacher all the attention you possibly could, literally watching and studying their hand movements just to understand every single step, only to be even more confused than your classmates, who you're pretty sure were half-asleep during the explanation, who also say they understand how the teacher came to that conclusion. what. the actual fuck.
when i try to explain how infinitely confusing and irritating this was for me, i'm reminded of a quote from that video Patricia Taxxon made about DHMIS: "The rug is pulled again ... There was never any hope of following the thread, understanding is impossible.". even when i was literally trying my best to possibly follow anything that was happening, the rug still gets pulled out from under my feet and i'm sent all the way back to square one of not understanding a single thing and being confused again. all because the teacher didn't explicitly explain how they got that random number that was apparently singlehandedly necessary for solving the equation and where they got it from, apart from that place being from literally fucking nowhere.
it's really no wonder that i eventually stopped giving a shit about paying attention in math class, because even when i was, it was still daunting and incomprehensible as always. why bother trying anymore when trying still gets you nowhere? trying to ask the teacher where they got that number from was an impossible to understand task as well, as their either snapped back with a "well you should have been paying attention" (even though i WAS but whatever) or they do explain that they added the first two numbers from the equation together or something, but now i'm wondering why they didn't just explain that in the first place like they did with everything else instead of seemingly just assuming everyone would know to do that.
by the way, if i had to give an estimate, my math ability is probably still at like. a 5th grader's level at best. so uh. yeah it's not good. still, it is kinda funny to me though, not only because i do find a bit of humour in the situation, but also because some people are often so quick to judge someone's intelligence purely based on their mathematical abilities alone. like. the idea of someone calling me dumb for still needing to do addition with my fingers despite the fact that my reading and language levels are considered above average is really funny to me lmaooo
#dyscalculia#math anxiety#i was NOT having fun in math class when i was still in school loollll#to this day i still don't know all my times tables#i just know the essential ones like my 2s 5s and 10s#the others i only really partially remember but i still can't actually do beyond multiples of 12#like i partially know what they are but i can't actually DO them in my head without needing to sit there for a minute or two#i can't do quick maths. i just can't do that. there are too many numbers to keep track of and count at once to do quickly.#like i can't just conjure up a number like a fucken genie like other people seem to do. i need to like. actually count first#i hate quick maths games so much dude. it's so stressful. i physically cannot keep up with it and it's really frustrating and unfun#it's the same when people tell me to do an equation really quickly. like first of all fuck you#and second of all my brain WILL short circuit#anyway yeah this is a vent#making this not rebloggable for that reason..... sorry fellas#i'm still hoping other people with dyscalculia may find this relatable or cathartic#god how that particia taxxon quote strikes my very soul so so much.....#the entire video is really good but that quote specifically. holy shit#understanding is impossible. that is how i feel. that perfectly explains how i feel about math. understanding is impossible. wow.#i feel like data repeating ''i am not less perfect than lore'' to himself about that quote. understanding is impossible.#that is how i have felt about math for such a long fucking time oh my god#understanding anything to do with math and numbers feels impossibly incomprehensible for me.#basic concepts make sense. i understand how the four basic operations work. i just can't understand much else from that.#too many numbers overflow my brain#it takes literal actual power to be able to do one sheet of equations for me#i might not even finish it just because it's so difficult and uninteresting for me#i'm rambling again auahgh. the basic point of this post is that i don't understand math and math teachers don't understand how to make-#-any basic fucking sense. apparently. anyway yeah official steakout dyscalculia coming out post (i probably have it)#(i'm not diagnosed yet but i'm 80% sure i have it)#(the other 20% is me gaslighting myself) (augh)
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mabaris · 5 months ago
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it’s honestly funny how many people are still like “ughh the first trailer SUCKED, it was so controversial, it was a disaster, everyone hated it and they would have been driven away completely if not for the gameplay footage” like. skill issue lmao. dragon age has always been a little silly. take my hand.
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waitineedaname · 5 months ago
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what is hlvrai and please tell me more about this svsss crossover?
hlvrai is Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware and it is a series that made me absolutely bonkers for a solid two years, which is not something most hyperfixations of mine can claim
basically the premise is that a streamer got a special copy of Half-Life VR where the NPCs are self-aware! in reality, it was a streamer and his friend role-playing in gmod and it spiralled rapidly out of control, but oh my god I cannot emphasize enough how funny this series is. there are lines in this series that I still quote because they have wormed their way into my permanent speech pattern. the characters that they managed to come up with basically on the fly are so good, and the ending is absolutely insane
I'm still deciding which direction the crossover should go. I think maybe I should put svsss characters into hlvrai because I do not think hlvrai!gordon would not do well if put in shen qingqiu's shoes. he's so highstrung, I do not think he could pull off the wise master role sqq finds himself in. he would get killed so quickly
shen yuan, however, would be perfect as a streamer slowly being driven insane by his NPC companions. the other characters are trickier to figure out, but I think if I just change which ones of them are aware they're in a video game, it would work. binghe being benrey is too good to pass up, but I think shang qinghua could be tommy, if tommy figured out they were in a game but just chose not to tell anyone. I kinda wanna make mobei-jun into forzen simply because that's funny to me. coomer and bubby.... uh...... get back to me on that. liu qingge could be bubby maybe, and yue qingyuan could be coomer. idk. instead of talking to the system, shen yuan is bitching at his chat, and binghe is like Who Are You Talking To 👁👁 and shen yuan has a heart attack
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floral-hex · 3 months ago
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fuck, I hate telehealth, but ya know, I think I’d actually like it if it was in minecraft instead of a video call. Let’s do therapy in roblox or something.
#having a relationship with your therapist is unethical… but what about running a dungeon together in world of warcraft??#today we’re going to talk about my abandonment issues while we build a mountain base in minecraft together#shit… I was just joking but this is actually sounding kinda rad#but wowwee do I hate telehealth#I hate professional video calls#I always feel like I’m saying the wrong things or I’m not talking enough#my last psych appointment was telehealth and it suuuuuuucked#oh man I don’t even know if I ever posted about this#it just felt so awkward and I was always worried someone could hear me on the call through the apartment walls#and he was like basically ‘just try to think positive’#fuck you fuck you fuck you and also think about my butthole and fuck you#thanks for the meds but never say that shit to me again#like… my therapist is a cool guy. I ‘love him. or as much as you can love your doctor in a distant platonic way#he’s always so cool about ‘yeah your chemicals are all messed up’ and he’s doesn’t shut me down at least not without actually understanding#but my psych who works in the same office does telehealth and seems very distant and not great at talking about deeper issues#which is fine. really. I just needed a doc who’d give me a fair shake and help me with the medication side#but I have to do telehealth for him and it feels so awkward and shallow#can’t we just do a 5 minute phone call? ‘hello. can we up the dose of my meds? yes? okay thank you.’#I see you typing on your computer a lot. I’m not saying anything interesting. if you’re on neopets just say so#anyway I only thought about this bc I guess I COULD do telehealth therapy today or something#but like I said. telehealth feels awkward and I wouldn’t be able to open up over it#it’s cool tho for like… I dunno. people who can’t go in person or need quick visits or whatever#I’m not saying it’s not useful or a viable option. I personally just hate phone calls and video calls.#and I love video games bro 😎#and I love you#goodbye forever#text
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spectrearia · 2 months ago
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trying out a controller overlay for future Project Diva captures. might have to fiddle with it a bit to get it at a good size but here's a test video for now!
figured it'd be kinda cool for y'all to actually see the inputs instead of just the chaos that's happening on screen lol. tested it with a tricky Pinnochio-P song just for kicks... his music is so hard for me to play honestly, but I did my best! ;o;
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transgaysex · 2 months ago
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dude laying in bed feels crazy
#wind howls#for the past like 22 hours i feel like ive felt every emotion on earth#right now im just sleepy though#sleepy... but im also soooo chilling#we used houdini for the first time today in class ! height fields sure are interesting... and the up to down nodes map is odd but fun !#although i definitely prefer using unreal as opposed to houdini simpy because building master materials and instances is so fun to me#yesterday the teacher showed us hue shift and my friend and i managed to build it so that the barrel we were testing our texture on-#has a switch that by default has the barrel shift through all the hues but you can turn it off to pick one specific hue#but its just one switch which automatically lets you access the specific hue you want#and this probably sounds like real baby shit to seasoned unreal users but to me it was so impressive and fun...#especially bc i managed to make it so when the switch is on it had a sub setting to choose the speed at which the hue shifts#but when its off the sub setting automatically changes to make it possible to input a specific number associated with the desired hue#which is not something my friend did ! i figured that out myself ! i am very proud of it !!!#although it may be poorly optimised... im gonna ask the teacher if theres an easier way to make the switch thatd be simpler to use#im really liking my video game preproduction class heehehe#and actually ive really been enjoying rigging as well#its a challenge ! and my god its so much to remember at once but its like. a really fun puzzle so far#although were like half a month in so my opinion may change as the assignments roll in#but so far. i like it. yay :)
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motherforthefamicom · 5 months ago
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realizing i have been having to restrain myaelf so bad from ramvling in the tags of every fuckjng post today what is wrong with me
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yo9urt · 6 months ago
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in hindsight i realize i may not have been clear about minecraft last night. let me be clear (<- obama voice): I Have It
#mine#everything people said online is true. the deck runs modded minecraft and does it well#i capped the fps at 70 just cause but when i wasnt busy having fun and managed to look at the corner to check it#it was pretty consistently in 50s and 60s and the game never really felt bumpy or laggy or unpleasant#one thing i don't understand...i downloaded maybe 60 mods but ingame on the start screen it says 143?!?!?!?#anyway im having so much fun there are so many biomes and funny colored animals its so exciting#and everything looks so PRETTYYYYYY !!!!!#i love you steam deck thank you for bringing video games back into my life...#i hope one of these days i can join a server or something too it would be nice to do multiplayer as well#but my singleplayer world was really fun so far too :3 i spawned into an area with exclusively warm biomes which is kind of annoying#because ive always liked temperate and cold biomes more but its ok there was like an oasis biome or sometrhing??!!!#im making a cute little adobe house next to this big mountain :3 theres a savanna and jungle nearby#the mountains go SO HIGH!!!!!! and i found this creepy water tunnel inside another mountain that had magma in the walls it was awesome#i havent played in so long i cant always tell what came from a mod and what came from vanilla#but i dont care cause im having so much fun yipppeeeeee :3#theres horses near my house too so im going to wrangle them as soon as i can...i have a very exploratory playstyle in mc#im basically a cartographer cause the only thing i ever want to do is run around with a map in my hand until the map is filled out#then i go home and slap it on the wall with 7 million other maps and make a ginormous picture of the world#it makes me happy :) so that is my plan
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vorerilla · 6 months ago
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i think about my ex every day and it haunts me bc i never resolved it/told them all of my feelings of how i loved them but that theyre also an asshole who didnt treat me right and made me feel so insecure and stupid and i wish i could just PUT THE THOUGHTS AWAY FOR NOW
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