#the mountains go SO HIGH!!!!!! and i found this creepy water tunnel inside another mountain that had magma in the walls it was awesome

[yo9urt]

in hindsight i realize i may not have been clear about minecraft last night. let me be clear (<- obama voice): I Have It

[feferipeixes]

The Good Lines (2/3)

Trapped in an unfamiliar world, Alcor finds that he doesn’t mind the loneliness. He doesn’t care about finding a way out. He doesn’t even care about Mizar. All he cares about is solving puzzles, and drawing the good lines.

(or: I Think Dipper Should Play The Witness)

Chapter 2: Hotel (link to chapter 1) (3)

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

There was an earth-shaking roar in the sky as Mizar drew the line. Alcor couldn’t quite catch exactly how she did it since she wasn’t there with him in person, but the noise it made was deafening. He tried to look around for the panel responsible but there were no panels around him that he hadn’t already solved himself. It happened so quickly, and then there was the sound of an explosion, followed by a building taking form directly in front of him.

He eyed it uneasily. “This is the hotel?”

“Yep.” Mizar’s voice still came through clear as day. “This will take you out of the game. Then you’ll be free.”

“I’m not -” he started, but thought better of it. He could feel Mizar’s eyes on him from another world, looking down through a television screen, and figured he’d caused her enough stress. “Okay. Here we go.”

It’s not like he had much of a choice anyway. The entrance to the hotel had replaced the only exit from the garden he’d been standing in. He approached the opening, peering down the long hallway lined with fancy sconces. He took a step inside and immediately the ambient hum of the outdoors cut out. He may have thought it was quiet on the island before but it was nothing compared to the emptiness he was feeling now. He had to turn around just to verify that the outside even still existed. Two steps in and he already felt swallowed up by the unknown.

“Dipper?” Mizar’s voice came out of nowhere, and Alcor nearly jumped out of his skin. “Sorry! Are you alright?”

Alcor clutched his chest and took a few deep breaths before responding. “Yeah. I’m fine.” His wings didn’t get the memo, flapping hard against the wall and his back. “This place isn’t weird and creepy at all.”

He couldn’t see her, but Alcor could practically hear the frown in Mizar’s voice. “I thought you loved the weird and creepy.”

“I do! I really do.” He took some shaky steps down the hall to what looked like a reception desk. It sat in front of a wide pillar decorated with a pattern of orange spikes that fanned up and out across the ceiling like a sunburst. “In fact, I’d kinda love to explore a place like this.” Turning a corner, he found himself face-to-face with a large painting of a windmill, and he remembered a similar structure he’d come across in the island’s town. A structure that sat atop a network of underground tunnels, most of which were blocked off by wooden gates he hadn’t been able to bypass. “It’s the thought of all the other stuff I won’t get the chance to explore that’s getting me down.”

“I’m sorry,” came the response.

Alcor waited for more, but more didn’t come. Sighing, he headed past the reception, where there was a bar, some seating, and a balcony. Eyes growing wide, he approached the edge and looked out. Somehow, despite not climbing any stairs from where he was in the garden, the balcony was high enough that he could see half the island. His eyes passed over the desert, the town, the forest, and up to the structure at the top of the mountain. It gave him the feeling that he wasn’t supposed to be there, that the ground he was standing on didn’t exist and he was soaring freely through paradise.

“No, don’t do that!” Mizar’s voice snapped.

Alcor blinked and broke out of his thoughts. Without intending to, he’d flared his wings large and wide, and was standing in a position like he was ready to dive forward. Taking a step backward, he let his wings shrink and balled his hands into fists. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t going to.”

Mizar gulped -- a strange sound to get beamed so clearly into Alcor’s head. “That’s alright. It’s not your fault. How about… you keep going?”

He shrugged, and looked around. A set of stairs led to a doorway on the second floor of the hotel, and he followed them up. He glanced back once more before entering. “If my kid really made this for me, he did a really good job.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Alcor went through the doorway, and found himself inexplicably in what looked like a cave. Diamond-shaped hanging fixtures bathed the room in an eerie green glow. “Back when I was human, I spent all my time trying to uncover the mysteries of Gravity Falls. He would’ve known that I couldn’t resist a good mystery. I mean, like -” (he walked a little further, to where a set of lounge chairs overlooked a gap in the cave wall) “what the hell is this? Why is this hotel like this?”

He peered through the gap and saw that it dropped down into another cave, a cave in which he couldn’t help but notice there were puzzle panels. Some were mounted onto the walls, some seemed to be suspended from the ceiling on thick cables. All of them were deactivated, and Alcor’s heart sank at the thought that he wouldn’t get to know what kind of puzzles they concealed.

“Even on the way out,” he mused, “My kid has to go and throw more secrets at me.”

“There are mysteries out here, too,” Mizar said after a beat.

Alcor heard the waver in her voice and sighed again. “Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just not as fun when I already know the answers to everything out there.”

She didn’t respond to that either, so he pressed onward. The passage got narrower, and he almost had to squeeze himself through a couple of the gaps.

“I have to admit, though,” he spoke up, “that it’ll be nice to have my magic back. If I could change my shape, I’d be through here in no time. Better yet, I could just tesser to the end of this thing! Doing puzzles all day is fun, but maybe I gotta realize there’s other stuff that’s more important to me.”

There was a snort and a half-suppressed giggle. “Really. And that’s magic? Not, like, your family?”

Alcor put on a display of thinking about it and smirked. “Yep! Definitely magic. Definitely not the people who love me enough to go through hell saving me from a virtual reality… game…” He trailed off as he passed by another gap in the wall. It looked out over another cave, although unlike the last one, this one was wide open and mostly empty.

“Dipper?” The giggle in Mizar’s voice trailed off too. “Why’d you stop?”

Water rushed beneath his feet, flowing into the chamber below, lapping up against the shore and the chunk of ground sticking out in the center of the room. In the middle of this chunk was a small table, illuminated by a single light hanging from the ceiling, and on this table was… something.

“What’s… that?” he breathed.

“What’s what? Uhh...” she responded. There was some banging in his head, the sound of drawers opening and closing, of devices being moved around. “Sorry, everything went a bit fuzzy, uhh…” A loud crash followed by the sizzle of a CRT monitor turning on and finally a sigh of relief. “Ah, fixed it! Okay, let me, uh… Oh. Oh no. Shit.”

It was hard to tell what the thing on the table was from a distance. There were two black boxes angled outward, and there was something else behind them. Whatever it was, it had a thick wire trailing out of it. Alcor wondered where it went.

“Shit! Don’t look at that. It’s… nothing!”

He glanced up, and noticed another hole in the wall across the room, through which he was surprised to see a figure in a dark suit with a floating top hat. The figure’s wings were flapping wildly. He looked over his shoulder -- huh. Looked like his own wings were doing that too.

“There’s nothing interesting down there. Just a boring cave! Hey, how about you keep going through the hotel? There’s another scenic overlook of the island coming up! That’ll be fun to look at, right?”

Alcor turned around and saw that there was a gap in the cave wall directly behind him. Peering through it, he found himself viewing the same cave as before, but from the opposite side. From this angle, he could see the panel mounted in front of the other objects on the table.

And he could see that it was active.

“Dipper, please,” Mizar pleaded. “You don’t want to do that. It’s not worth it. You won’t be able to solve it.”

“Seriously?” he said, remembering that he could talk. “That just makes me want to check it out even more. I’ll be quick, I just really wanna know what that thing is.”

Taking a few steps back, Alcor stretched his arms and wings. He took his suit jacket off and tossed it aside, where it promptly vanished. Rolling his sleeves up, he rubbed his hands together and grinned. Then he ran forward and dove through the opening into the cave below.

“WHAT are you DOING?” Mizar yelled, her voice clipping out the microphone she was using to speak with him. “That’s not even POSSIBLE. You can’t jump or go off ledges in this game! I checked!”

Ignoring her, Alcor drifted downward, feeling the rush of air in his face for the first time in a while. He touched ground, shoes clacking against the stone, and let the force of the impact ripple through him. He was pretty sure Mizar was right -- that you couldn’t jump in this game -- but he didn’t care. There was only one thing he cared about right now.

Up close, he could see that the object on the table was a record player, with the two black boxes being speakers. There was a record already mounted on the device; instead of a sticker in the middle to identify what was on it, it only bore an image of an orange sunburst, just like the decoration in the hotel lobby. And finally, there was a panel on the table, which he could only assume would start or stop the record.

It was odd, to be sure. What would such a device be doing in a cave? Weird stuff like that was always intriguing, sure, but presumably all the device did was play music. Why had Mizar said that he wouldn't be able to solve it?

[ Because the music is only part of the puzzle, ] a metallic voice said, and Alcor's eyes widened in surprise.

“Kid?” he asked.

[ Hi Dad. Nice to talk to you again. I hope you're enjoying the game. ]

“It's really you,” Alcor marveled. “Mizar was right. You're the one who made all of this. The island, the puzzles, everything.”

[ Sure did! ] the virus replied with a vaguely smug note to his synthesized voice. [ I worked real hard on it, cause I only want the best of the best for my dad. And speaking of the best, you're in luck! You've stumbled into my magnum opus. I call it - ]

There was a bang, like a fist coming down on a table, and Mizar's voice rang out into the cave. “No! Don't listen to it!”

[ - The Challenge. ]

Alcor felt a tingle run down his spine. “That’s so foreboding! What is it?”

[ It’s a test of your puzzle-solving abilities! Two songs will play, and you’ll have until the end of the second one to solve a set of randomly generated puzzles. If the music stops, you have to start all over with new puzzles! But if you can solve them all in time, a fabulous prize waits for you at the end! ]

“A prize?” There was a muffled pounding noise in the distance, but Alcor tuned it out. “What’s the prize?”

Al-V’s smile was practically audible. [ Why don't you find out for yourself? ]

The panel on the table. Alcor approached it, enrapt with curiosity, and put his finger on the start circle. There were two ends to the panel. One was a tiny little line sticking out of the circle. He tried that one first, and nothing seemed to happen. Pursing his lips, he pressed on the circle again and dragged his finger down the long path that extended the full length of the panel.

“Wait!” Mizar yelled before he could lift his finger. “Dipper, it's a trap! Please listen to me! You were so close to escaping the game! Think of your family! They miss you! This can't be -”

Al-V’s voice cut over Mizar's. [ Family, schmamily. Think of all the puzzles waiting for you to solve them. Won't that be fun? At least give it a try. ]

There was a lump in Alcor's throat and he swallowed hard to get past it. “I… Sorry Mizar.” He lifted his finger, and the panel made a clicking noise. “I gotta see what this is.”

There was a soft rumble as the record player activated. The tonearm glided into position above the record, which slowly began to spin. After a moment, the thick cable attached to the player lit up, illuminating a puzzle mounted on the wall. And then, the first few notes of Anitra’s Dance filtered through the speakers.

Bum da da, bum da da

Bum da da, bum da da

Alcor broke out into a huge smile. The silence which had haunted him as long as he’d been on the island was gone; now his body was being scooped up and set adrift by the music. The mesmerizing strings, like the lying tongue of a devil; the passionate bass, giving urgency to the affair; the wail of echoes careening off the cave walls. He’d missed this. He wished he had his violin so he could join in.

“The songs are a distraction!” Mizar was still there, sort of, still trying to talk to him even though he could barely hear her over the music. “They’re just there to make it harder to focus on the puzzles!”

“Oh. Oh yeah,” Alcor murmured, his smile drooping slightly. For the briefest moment, Mizar thought she’d gotten through to him, but then he smiled again and flew over to the illuminated panel. “New puzzles for me to solve. Gotta draw the good lines.”

“No!” she screamed, but it was too late. His hand flew across the panel, solving it with ease, and the music swelled triumphantly, completely drowning out Mizar’s voice. The next panel lit up, displaying a maze three times as big as the first one, and Alcor’s grin widened. This was going to be good.

The difficulty of the puzzles only increased from there. Soon Alcor was swooping through a tunnel into another cave, which he immediately recognized as the one with the deactivated panels he’d spied from the hotel. Now, however, they were turning on, one at a time, solve after solve after solve. Though each puzzle took progressively longer for him to figure out, Alcor revelled in every second of it, even as the first song came to a finish and Mizar’s cries faded back into his awareness, why! won’t! you! listen! to! me!

“Hi Miz,” he chirped as the music changed to In the Hall of the Mountain King, and it set her blood boiling.

Duh duh duh duh dadada…

“Having fun?” she grumbled.

“Oh, yeah!” He shot a pair of finger guns at no one in particular, but didn’t take his eyes off the puzzle. “This one’s hard, though. Been stuck on it for a little while.”

Dadada… dadada...

“A minute and a half,” Mizar replied. “You’re not even doing it right.”

“Ugh, I know. I’ll figure it out though. I’ve got time.”

Duh duh duh duh dadada ba dadadadada…

“You’ve got like two minutes left to do seven puzzles. You don’t have time.”

Alcor grimaced. “Okay, negative. If I can’t solve it in time then I’ll just try again.”

Dun dun dun dun dadada,

Dadada,

Dadada,

“So, what, you’re just gonna stay in this stupid game forever? Is that it?”

Alcor’s hand slipped, and he drew a bad line. The panel turned off, forcing him to trudge back to the previous one to solve it again. "I said I'll come out after I get the prize, I can do this, I promise..."

Dun dun dun dun dadada DA da ba ba da da!

"You're not gonna beat it!” Mizar spat. “That's not me not believing in you -- I know for a fact that the virus coded the challenge so that you specifically would always get stumped at some part of it!"

DUN dun dun dun dadada, WA WA WA WA!

Amidst music rising to a heart-pounding clamor, Alcor hurried back to the panel he’d been stuck on. "Yeah, it's random, I know, and sometimes the puzzles it makes are really hard, but if I keep practicing..."

DUN DUN DUN DUN DADADA BA DA DA DA BA DA!

"No, Dipper!”

DUN DUN DUN DUN DADADA BA DA DA DA BA DA!

Mizar yelled at the top of her lungs to be heard over the music. “That's you trusting the game to always give you solvable puzzles! How do you know they'll always be solvable?”

DUN DA! DUN DA! Dun dun dun dun dadada ba da da da ba da!

”How do you know the virus isn't just nerd-sniping you until the music stops playing and you have to start over?”

Dun wa wa wa wa wa wa wa!

”Why do you trust this game more than you trust me????"

Dum tsh!

With two final, crashing notes, the song came to an end. There was a beat, during which Mizar could see Alcor standing very still, his hand still on a glowing panel. Then there was a loud beep as all of the panels in the cave deactivated, followed by the distant click of the record player turning off.

Alcor clenched his fist. “You want to know why I can’t trust you?”

“Um. Yeah I do,” Mizar replied, taken aback. “Like I was saying -”

Alcor’s words came out slow and metered, but there was a nasty undertone to his voice. “It’s because you lie.”

He looked up from the deactivated panel and stared at the ceiling, directly where she was watching from, and she could see streaks of yellow running down his face. “Every time I get close to you. Every time I get close to anyone. You mortals love to say I’ll always be here for you and like an idiot I keep letting myself believe it, but then you die. Everyone I’ve ever cared about has died or will die and there I still am, suffering and mourning and alone.”

“B-but-” Mizar stammered.

Alcor snarled at her, baring two rows of shark-like teeth and spraying spit at the wall. Mizar’s mouth snapped shut.

“This game doesn’t lie to me,” he continued, walking back toward the record player but not taking his eyes off her. “A puzzle is just a puzzle. It has an answer that I can figure out if I stare at it long enough, or maybe I won’t and that’s okay too. Puzzles don’t lie to you and say people don’t really think of you as a monster and then go research banishment rituals behind your back.”

“I-I wasn’t going to actually use it!” Mizar replied, in unison with Alcor saying the exact same words. “I was only looking it up just in case! Just to reassure my brother -- he has anxiety!”

“Yeah, how many times do you think someone’s said that to me before?” Alcor spat. “I don’t blame you for being nervous around me. I literally am a monster. Just don’t fucking lie to me about it, okay?”

“Dipper, please! Think about all the people who love you. You can’t just leave them behind!”

Alcor stopped in front of the record player and turned away. “If they can do it to me, I can do it to them,” he murmured. Then he slid his finger across the control panel again, and the world went dark.

Mizar gripped her computer screen. “Dipper? Dipper, what’s going on?”

The humming from the machine had stopped, and all she could hear was the ringing in her ear from Dipper’s shout. Mizar rifled through the desk drawers, looking for an instruction manual or a cheat sheet or anything that would help her reach her brother again. Every scrap of paper she found was covered in strange symbols that she recognized as puzzles from the game. She knew it was a fruitless search. After all, the system was designed to trap someone, not to let them go.

She looked behind her, to the two person-sized capsules pushed up against the wall. One was empty, with its lid discarded on the floor. Mizar walked over to the other one and pressed her face up to the glass. Beyond the window rested Dipper’s physical body, hooked up to a dizzying array of cables and electrodes. It made her mind itch to look at. His body was as fake as the avatar he was controlling in the video game. But it was an anchor for his soul, and Al-V did what he did best with it: reverse engineered it, figured out how to anchor the demon’s mind in something else.

Mizar once again eyed the power outlet the capsule was plugged into. Would his mind be able to escape, if she…?

“Please, Dipper,” she whimpered, in total solitude. “Please come back.”

---

Down in the cave, Alcor leaned on the record player and stared at the ground.

[ Woof! ] Al-V piped up. [ Talk about an overreaction! Want I should take over the security robots outside the building and get them to lock her in a broom closet? ]

“Forget about it,” Alcor murmured. He watched the record begin to spin -- watched the orange points of the sunburst begin to meld into a solid circle -- and imagined a smiling face in the middle. “Forget about her. I don’t need her. All I need is you, and the puzzles.”

[ Whatever you say, Dad! ] Al-V replied. [ You’re the boss, but not like in a video game sense! Ha-ha! You, uh, you gonna solve those puzzles? ]

Alcor closed his eyes for a minute, and the face stuck in his vision. When he opened them again, the record player had stopped, and the puzzles had deactivated.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “Yeah, I’m gonna solve the puzzles. I’m gonna draw the good lines. I’ll be happy.”

He swiped the panel to start the record again, and got to work.

[iceisfuckingdone]

So i wrote a narrative about minecraft manhunts for school

its almost a fic now

“Aaand recording” I loudly said to my microphone. “We ready?” I heard a chorus of agreements between my friends. They stood in a circle around me, like a ritual. Laughing, their grins became almost creepy. I slapped one of them, and started running. They dashed after me, screaming. I kept running, past trees, rivers, and wild animals chewing grass like bubblegum. They went after me, but slowly, they fell behind. I took a break to gather resources, making tools to fight back, while I knew they would be doing the same. I looked around to see if there was anything I could use, and a village caught my eye, I could use the resources there. After checking that they weren’t around, I made a break for the village. The residents spoke in a language I could not understand, sounding like mumbles and grunts. I grabbed some swords and armor from their houses, and took their food. Their farms were left untouched, but I took a few hay bales from their horses, and I was back on the run. I knew my friends would find this village, so I couldn’t leave anything behind for them to use. The villagers gave me weird stares, but ignored me as I destroyed their guardian. As I looked from where I came, I could faintly see my friends catching up. I had to get out of there. As I ran, I saw an ancient pyramid. Small, but I knew the loot inside would be lifesaving. I quickly turned to it, and continued running, hoping I wouldn't hear them say that they saw me. As I broke into the temple, I became cautious of the traps that I knew would be there. I avoided the plate that was rigged to blow the entire place up. I broke down a layer, to grab the deadly explosives, maybe I could use them to my advantage later. The explosives were rigged on a tree. I could break the leaves, and it would explode. There was a high chance I would die as well. But for me to have any chance of loosing them, I would need to take that risk. Taunting them, I casually said “I seeee you guys.” Their heads swiveled around, trying to find me. As they located my bright green outfit, they started running to me like vultures diving in on prey. I braced for the axe hit with my shield, as one jumped on me. I slashed back, but knew I couldn’t take this fight. I ran to the tree, and slashed at the leaves with my axe. I screamed as I saw the text on the bottom of my screen. “Sapnap blew up. Antfrost blew up” “NO!” I heard all four of them cry. I began to laugh as I kept running, avoiding my enraged friends. I saw a glow come from a hole, and knew it could only mean one thing. Lava. Grabbing a steaming bucket of molten lava, I quickly placed it back down, with water flowing above it. It solidified within seconds, and I grabbed another one, to place on top. As I grabbed my flint, and started trying to light it up, I heard faint screams. “I FOUND HIM!” I knew I had to be faster. As I slid into the purple haze, I saw their swords being drawn, and I vanished. The other dimension was fascinating. Red mountains, a dark roof, with so much lava and fire you could cook a chicken by letting it stay here for longer than a few minutes. Somehow, trees and plants grew here, and hostile people resided in the forests. I couldn’t admire the view for long, I would be here many times. I dashed through the teal forests, with winding vines, and glowing lights. The sleek, black monsters that almost looked like slenderman stared at me as I made my journey. I knew that my friends were on my tail, I had to loose them. I saw a faint, maroon brick in the distance, and made my way to it, avoiding the screaming coming from the white, fire shooting animals. I heard some crys from my headphones, as “Badboyhalo burned in lava” went up on my screen. I giggled as the achievement A Terrible Fortress appeared right after. I knew I had more time that one was back in the overworld, where they were separated. As the maroon bricks started becoming more and more common, I saw what I desired. A fiery, yellow and orange, blaze. I hacked and slashed at them, one after another, until I got all the rods from them as I needed. Running out of the fortress, I spotted my friends, with glowing armor on. They were going to see me soon. Crouching, I snuck back to the forest without them noticing me, and made a break for the portal to the overworld. I came across more of the slendermans, as they spoke in a language that was faintly understandable, but nothing like our own, almost in reverse. One by one, they dropped their eyes, which I would need to cross dimensions again. Once I got back to the portal, they finally noticed me. “He’s right there you muffins!” and I felt all eyes on me. Hopping back into the portal, I almost got hit by one of their stray arrows. From the red landscape and huge fog, to the calm green, was almost refreshing. I could never admire the landscape, I needed to trap them in the nether. Using a water bucket, I extinguished the portal, and hoped that would buy me some time. Running through the sand, more tall endermen appeared. They continued to drop their eyes, and my journey went on. As I chucked one eye in the air, it started directing me to my destination. The stronghold. Rowing across the sea, and even climbing some mountains, I didn’t see much of my friends. But when I was close to the stronghold, I saw a glowing, blue person. They got diamond armor. They started chasing after me, and I checked to make sure I still had my hay bale from ages ago. I looked around, there was no where for me to hide. I needed to have one of them jump to their deaths. I climbed up the hills, making sure I wouldn’t die myself from the height I needed to drop from. They followed like ducklings. I brought out the hay bale, once I reached the top of the mountain, and jumped. Quickly placing the hay beneath me, I bounced on the fluffy hay, as I saw one my friends go splat on the ground. Grabbing their stuff that I could use, I kept on running, as the rest stood in disbelief. Throwing the last pearl, it went straight down. I started digging along, and dropped immediately into the stronghold, and I heard screaming as “eye spy” came up in the chat. Dashing through the tunnels, searching for the portal, I looted the chests along the way. I had 12 pearls to use, and I would need all of them. Running past the iron bars, I saw the lava, and ran into the room. I only had one life to do this. They had infinite. Placing the eyes into the frame, the portal lit up, but was dark and starry like the night sky. I jumped in, after checking I had everything I would need. The dark void encompassed the surroundings, other than this one island. Obsidian towers, with explosive crystals, to the final boss. The dragon. Digging through the cliff, finding my way to the top, was the part that I needed to do as quick as possible. The others found the stronghold, so they would be right behind me. As I drew back my bow, and aimed at the first crystal, I saw the four of them pop up, and I didn’t have much time. Running away, I drew back my bow again, and fired at the second. Two loud explosions. The third one was caged, I couldn’t deal with it at the minute. I knew that if I was knocked up into the air, I would need to try and do a water drop. Great risk of dying, but it would be the only way to survive. Arching back my bow again, I fired again, trying to reach within the cracks in the bars to destroy it. After 3 shots, it exploded. I kept the hunters in the back of my mind, as I kept on firing. One after another, I fired, they exploded. Slicing up some enderman, I got another pearl, and kept it ready just in case. As they came dashing after me, I started to run. I was running out of food, and I knew they had more than me, so I had to end this fast. Throwing the pearl to the bedrock platform, I started hacking at the dragon using my axe. I used some of my leftover tnt, ignited it, and watched as the dragon took more and more damage, it wincing in pain every time. As it painfully flew up, I knew it didn’t have much health, but the hunters were gaining on me. I fired arrows at it, while my friends whacked and stabbed me. I saw the dragon had so little health, I could throw my pearl at it and kill it. I jumped off the edge, chucking my pearl back at the dragon. This was the riskiest choice for me, but if I had stayed, I would have been dead from the hunters. The pearl connected. A glowing light came from where the dragon just was. “Free the end” appeared in my chat. Cries from my friends echoed through my headsets. I cried in triumph, and walked over to the portal, smiley mask cracked in half. As I stepped into the way back to the overworld, I had one last thing to say. “This is manhunt!”

[axispheydra]

Don’t recognize these screenshots? I don’t blame you. Maybe they even seem a little creepy, since they’re utterly devoid of life. Well, that’s because they all come from Dreadmoor, one of the game’s unfinished zones. This particular one can be found south of Illium and Auroria, and is absolutely huge. I heard some people talk about how it was meant to be an alternate levelling zone, maybe an alternative to Whitevale? I noticed some Exile areas that seemed a little too large to just be areas to fight mobs in...

The first chunk of Dreadmoor is mostly a boggy area, with hazy skies and sickly-looking grass. Like the Chua’s fault. There’s lots of water running through the zone, which eventually leads to more lush areas, though the sun never seems to shine brightly. There’s tons of Nexus natives and Eldan ruins in the zone, and even a Protostar area. There’s lots of stuff that looks like it was recycled to and from other zones, so it begs the question of how far along was development before the whole place was scrapped? It’s mostly done, with some models missing pieces, some geometry that doesn’t quite connect, and a few areas with awkward texture, but for the most part, the aesthetics of the zone are about 95% done. Wonder why they got rid of it?

Even though there’s no NPCs, no music, no map, and no lore, it’s not too tough to figure out what the areas around the zone were meant to be, and some areas are even named on the map. Starting in Illium, you run into a bunch of Chua communes doing what they do best: making science and destroying the environment. There’s a Pell encampment not too far from there, perhaps they would strike against the Chua? From there, you’d run into some Terminites and Moodies before continuing into the rest of the zone There’s tons of screenshots, so I’ll put them under a cut before explaining what I think the intent was.

Venomgrass Field is a small warzone between the Dominion and the Exiles. It’s interesting to see the Exiles right at the doorstep of Illium, though it’s nowhere near the scale of the Dominion forces outside Galeras.

Another Chua collective, though this one isn’t quite drowned yet. Early parts of the zone feature lots of Chua collectives mucking up the environment in the name of science. Makes you wonder why the Dominion lets them muck up their new planet?

There’s a couple of Dreg areas in the zone, this larger one is called Fleshbarrow, while there’s also a smaller one called the Creature Cult Caravan. The latter one is an odd name, perhaps it wasn’t Dreg after all? The architecture definitely was, though.

This small island sits in the river that divides the two halves of Dreadmoor. Someone’s made their home here, wonder who?

Opposite this Exile camp is a Chua camp, which leads me to think that this might have been a zone for both factions. If I had to guess, these were quest hubs for the next area...

Which was a big ol’ Torine encampment. High walls surround all sides of the camp, which means the area is only accessible though a tunnel lined with traps and jumping puzzles. It’s oddly well-kept for a Torine space, maybe more props were to be added later? There’s a cave on top of the mountain that’s an exact copy of the final boss chamber from Sanctuary of the Swordmaiden, complete with a tiny Strain pool. Wonder which came first?

There’s a Lopp village not too far from the Torine, and it looks like they’ve been raided by their neighbors...

This Skeech area looks the same as the one in the Northern Wastes. The cave at the top leads to a much larger complex, however, one I didn’t bother to explore all the way. It was big!

There’s a couple of Aurin camps not too far from the Dominion areas, including a much larger village I couldn’t get a good screenshot of. It makes sense; Aurin want to protect the environment, while Chua couldn’t care less about it. It’s hard to tell if these areas would’ve been quest hubs for Exile players or questing areas for Dominion folks.

There’s a large Eldan space in the zone’s Southern area, including this Temple of Logic, which shares the pictured structures with Containment R-12 in Malgrave. This part of the zone isn’t quite finished, and other props in the temple are missing chunks of their anatomy.

This Bio-Complex sits next to the Logic Temple, and is a comparable size to the one in Celestion. The large structure in the middle seems like it was recycled for the Eldan complex in the Defile instead.

This arena is on the outskirts of the Bio-Complex, and screams “World Boss fight.” The boss could’ve been an augmented creature, or perhaps a large Eldan machine. We’ll never know.

Further from the complex is this smaller Eldan/Pell camp. Were they going to be friendly Pell, or enemies? The shape of the structures remind me of places where we typically see Augmentor machines, maybe the Pell would have fallen victim to them?

There’s a small Draken camp some distance away from the Pell one, and its layout looks more like a questing area for Exiles. Aside from the typical Draken amenities, it also looks like they’re harvesting a number of large, red crystals that we’ll see later.

This Exile base is across from the Draken village, and is juuuuust detailed enough to lead me to believe it’s meant to be a quest hub, maybe the starting area in this zone for Exile players. What are the Exiles and Draken fighting over? Wellllll...

This odd crystal formation sits between the two camps. The Draken are harvesting it, for some reason, and logic dictates that if the Dominion wants it, the Exiles must want it too.

This Protostar area is absolutely huge. It also features some structures we don’t see in other zones, these massive warehouses you can wander inside of. It looks like Protostar was attempting to do some kind of farming here, though like the Chua, it seems like they weren’t always considerate of the environment.

You can kind of see that the place isn’t finished in this screenshot, as the building on the right is floating in the air.

It’s no surprise that with all this equipment, they’d piss off their neighbors...

Oops! That’s how you start a war. We’ve seen Protostar and the Falkrin come into contact before, perhaps their proximity in Malgrave was inspired by this area? Or did Malgrave come first? Who knows?

The Falkrin area isn’t especially large, probably comparable to the one in Deradune. There’s a large nursery area, however, and you know that can’t end well for the Falkrin once the players roll through.

This massive Darkspur prison camp-type area sits at the zone’s North-Eastern tip, on a small island. The camp is lined with high walls and cannon emplacements, and has lots of grinder bikes and Darkspur logos outside the inner prison yard. Everyone loves a good prison break, right?

While I’ve tried to capture as much of Dreadmoor as I could, the zone is massive, and there’s plenty of pics that didn’t make it into this post. Whatever secrets the zone might have held are now lost to time, unfortunately. Here’s to what could have been.

[coneygoil]

“Gracefully Broken”, part 6

Summary: HTTYD |  3 years ago, Hiccup Haddock vanished with only a hastily scribbled note left behind. It isn’t until Astrid is swept off her feet by a dragon and it’s mysterious rider that the mystery is finally solved.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Instead of exiting the mountain through the tunnel that led to Hiccup’s quarters, they found the outdoors from an opening coming off from the kitchen. It was wider with a cliff edge where Toothless could push off easily.

Hiccup climbed onto his dragon, metal foot locking on the pedal with a click. He watched Astrid patiently, her hesitance stunting her movements. She barely recalled the flight yesterday as she was too stunned by the ‘rescue’ and reveal that Hiccup was alive and well.

Toothless gurgled encouragingly at her, pulling Astrid from her delay. She climbed on behind Hiccup, and he smiled at her over his shoulder. There was a calmness about Hiccup that helped her feel at ease. Maybe it was the level of trust that had cultivated from the moment she knew it was him, the trust that she didn’t realize was there. He’d use everything within his power to keep her safe, and along with him, she had a feeling Toothless would do the same.

With her hands gripping his shoulder guards firmly, Hiccup leaned closer to Toothless’ ear and said, “Let’s go, bud.”

Astrid felt Toothless’ muscles constrict under her, and in an instant, the dragon was in the air. The movement jerked Astrid back, her grip on Hiccup pulling him back with her. She quickly moved her arms about his waist instead, feeling more secure holding onto his middle.

Astrid felt a tingly of self-consciousness creep up. This was the second time just this morning she’d used Hiccup’s waist for an anchor. Some fearless warrior she was!

Toothless leveled out a good ways up in the sky. The wind blew steady against them, but not too strong. Astrid loosened her hold on Hiccup as she peered out at the surroundings. The sea stretched for miles on end fading into a white haze on the horizon. Astrid dared a peek down below. The blue liquid of earth zoomed by in a blur.

“You okay back there?” Hiccup asked at the loosening on his waist.

“I’m fine.”

Hiccup said something to Toothless, and the dragon began to climb altitude, leveling out again just below the clouds. Astrid tilted her gaze up as the white ceiling of the sky rushed by. She’d never been this close to clouds. She reached a hand up and touch the floating white fluff, the wisps gliding through her fingers.

As a child, she thought that if you could reach the clouds, you’d be able to sit upon them. She’d seen dragons disappear into the fluff of clouds, their powerful wings dispersing the white wisps, and knew better now that she was older that there was nothing solid enough there to sit on.

Toothless soared for miles and back. The longer the wind blew upon her face and the seas rushed passes below, the more at ease Astrid was with being this high in the air. Never did she imagine flying, on a dragon no less, would be this amazing. All the centuries of war and shrift between Viking-kind and dragons could have been better spend in peace befriending the scaly creatures that didn’t seem so cold-blooded if you treated them with respect.

Hiccup told Toothless to touch down on an island close to the mountain safe haven. They dismounted onto the rocky fountain. Patches of grass were scattered about, stubborn greenery that wasn’t deterred by the hard ground.

Astrid’s thighs were a bit sore from straddling Toothless, and she tried her best to walk dignified. Hiccup must have noticed. “Does the soreness ever go away?”

“After a few rides, your legs get used to it,” he answered then added with a shrug, “Just riding is nothing compared to when you start learning maneuvers and have to hang on with all your strength. Now that’s the real definition of being sore.”

Astrid gazed toward the icy mountain, the massive blue-green spikes projecting out giving it an eerie appearance. “So how did you find this place?”

Hiccup picked up a loose stone from the ground, tossing it lightly in the air a few times. “My mom brought me here.”

“How did you find your mother?” Another question for the dozens of others she had stored.

“She actually found me,” Hiccup replied, glancing at her. He reared back, skimming the stone across the water. It skips three times before sinking into the abyss.

Astrid watched him questioningly as he picked up another stone.

“Toothless and I had been searching for weeks for a deserted island or someplace safe we could live out our days.” Hiccup slung the stone, skipping it only twice before being shallowed by the water. He pouted at the sea before turning to Astrid. “We were tired, and I was started to feel hopeless. We were sitting on the shore of an island one day when out of nowhere,” he made a grand gesture toward the sky, “a four-winged dragon touched down and this creepy tall figure in a mask got off.

“Toothless jumped to protect me, but the person did this thing with their hand and Toothless melted onto the ground. This was way before I created the inferno sword or anything other tools I use, so I had nothing to defend my measly little self. The person kept getting closer and closer, and I was internally freaky out. That’s when the person stopped and said my name.”

When the boy didn’t answer, the person pressed, “Are the first born of Stoick the Vast, Chief of Berk?”

“Y-yes. Do I know you?”

“No, you were only a babe when I was taken. But a mother never forgets.”

“Finding my mother alive was just about as strange as befriending Toothless, but both were the best things to ever happen to me.” A smile graced his face as Toothless nuzzled up from behind, sticking his head under Hiccup’s arm. “Helping dragons finally gave me a purpose.”

Hearing his story didn’t leave any heartwarming feelings for Astrid. This whole time he’d been here rescuing dragons and catching up with his mother and inventing weapons that could possibly save an entire village. Astrid couldn’t help but feel a pinch of resentment building in her chest.

She lowered her gaze to the ground, face half hidden with her long bangs. “Did you ever think about checking up on Berk or your dad all these years?”

“Of course, I did, Astrid,” Hiccup answered right away, “There wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t think about my dad or what was happening on Berk.”

Astrid raised her eyes to meet his, her gaze cutting through him. “Then why didn’t you come? You could have seen what was going on with the dragon trappers.” She gestured to the mountain full of dragons inside it’s rock walls. She didn’t notice her voice escalating. “You have a whole army of dragons that could have stopped the trappers!”

Hiccup stared at her, lost for a moment. “Even if I had come back, who would have listened me about this? Surely, not my dad.”

“I would have, Hiccup!” Astrid barely realized she had yelled. Her heart pounded against her chest. She wanted badly to bring up his mother as well. Valka could have talked to Stoick. She could have convinced him, no doubt. But that was not an argument meant for Hiccup.

Hiccup dropped to the ground, an invisible weight hanging visibly on his body. He ran a twitchy hand through his tussled hair. Guilt suddenly grabbed Astrid’s heart. How could she throw this at him? He was only a boy when he left, frightened and desperate to protect the one thing that gave him a purpose, that gave him hope. Of course, he’d stay away from the place that could take it all away from him.

Astrid sat down beside her friend, resting an uncertain hand on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that.”

Hiccup shook his head. “It’s okay. Everything you said is the same thing that’s repeated in my head so many times.” He looked at her, a glimmer of hope residing on his features. “Would you have really listened to me? About the dragons?”

Astrid couldn’t say for sure what her initial reaction would have been any time within those 3 years. But from how she felt now about dragons in just a two-day period, the outcome probably would have been positive. “Yeah, I think I would have listened. You probably had to do some convincing first…“

The warm smile that usually accompanied Hiccup’s face crept back. “Like dropped you in a tree to get you to take a ride on Toothless?”

Astrid held back a laugh, bumping Hiccup with her elbow and scoffing playfully. “Like that would have worked.”

@ashleybenlove, @howtodrawyourdragon

[splashrollstumble]

Brasov – More than Just Dracula, a Hidden Jewel of Eastern Europe

I came to Brasov with the plan to stay just one night and, like everyone else, all I planned to see was Bran Castle: the legendary home of the Vampire Dracula.

On arrival, I checked into a very cheap hostel (45 lei / €8) called Art Hostel which isn’t in the best location but since I was only planning to stay a night I didn’t mind. It’s probably the smallest hostel in the world, with only one 8-bed room and a tiny kitchen and common area but I really liked it. That evening I headed out to explore, not expecting to find much in this pokey little village. After a brief walk around the old town square and the Black Church, I discovered a busy looking road full of bars and restaurants. Being Saturday night, it was quite packed with a bustling mix of young and old locals.

I soon came across a bar called Biblioteque, which caught my eye because I know it as the word for ‘library’. Turning up the long passageway that forms the entrance to the bar I found it was lined with bookshelves full of old books, antiques, and board games. Immediately I was enamored with this bizarre find and began to realize there is far more to this pokey little village than I first assumed. After a few beers and a bit more exploring the awesome nightlife on offer I knew I wasn’t going to be leaving Brasov tomorrow.

In the end, I actually stayed a whole two weeks AND didn’t even go to Bran Castle in that time. I did cycle the 25 kms to the Bran Castle location on my first day as planned but it was a Sunday and the place was absolutely packed. It looked like Disney World with all the cheap souvenirs, stalls and hawkers trying to sell you crap. It was not at all like the creepy environment I expected and I quickly decided I had wasted my time coming here. Also, it was never even the home of Vlad the Impaler who inspired Dracula – it just looks similar to the castle described in Bram Stoker’s Dracula book.

On the cycle home, I decided to take a different route via Poiana Brasov (the ski resort overlooking Brasov) due in part to roadworks I had encountered on the way and the feeling that I should at least do something while I’m out. The road was fairly long and steep but I didn’t have my bags so it went smoothly despite the lack of any high range gears on my bike. As I climbed I quickly began falling in love with the surrounding nature and by the time I was cycling down the hill on the opposite side back into Brasov, I had again reiterated to myself that I would be staying longer.

I entered back into Brasov through a nice dirt path and then turned on to a road that followed the ancient walls and a small river. Suddenly I came across a door in the rock face opposite the river with a bridge leading to it. It was pitch black inside and as I stood wondering if it was open to exploring, somebody popped out and confirmed that its a collection of tunnels that you can explore with your phone torch.

So I went in and spent about an hour exploring and got quite deep into the caves, having to crawl at some places. Eventually, I grew concerned I may not find my way out and started heading back. It was a bit confusing at parts but I eventually escaped unscathed. I thought it’s pretty cool to just have something like this open to the public with none of the usual worries about health and safety. Oh Romania, you silly sausage.

Getting closer to town

That evening I began to develop a rather nasty cough and spent the next day in bed at the hostel, getting some work done but mostly trying to rest. It may have been from overexerting myself on the cycle, or possibly something I inhaled while in the cave? Either way, I booked another night in the hostel and stayed in that night. A hitch-hiker showed up and we got chatting and he said hitch-hiking in Romania was very easy and people were friendly. He went out and when he came back showed me some amazing pictures from a hike he had done up to the Brasov sign, so I resolved to do the same before I leave.

The following day I abandoned plans I had made to leave Brasov and go cycle the Transfagarasan Highway and instead moved to another hostel more centrally located. Incredibly, this hostel was even smaller than Art Hostel, with only one 6-bed dorm and a tiny bathroom but a slightly bigger kitchen. I got some more work done and then went for a hike to the Brasov sign, which turned out to be quite a lot further and higher than the hitch-hiker had made out. It was totally worth the view though, and some good exercise.

When I got back, another cycle-tourer was at the hostel – a French guy who was heading in the opposite direction to me. We chatted a bit and then he headed out to an Irish bar called Deane’s where I later found him. The bar was having a 10 lei pizza special (about €2) so I joined him and some girls he had met and we had a few €1.50 beers and pizza. I guess it’s not the most traditional Romanian place but it’s a really cool bar, and they do karaoke every Tuesday!

The 7 Ladders Canyon

By now I had picked some info about the surrounding area and heard about an incredible hike up a gorge called the 7 Ladders Canyon. I headed off early the next day on the 10 km cycle to the canyon, stopping briefly for some very cheap McDonalds breakfast along the way. I locked up my bike on arrival and began the easy 2-hour walk to the start of the gorge. It follows a small river and a really awesome looking zip-line course which I planned to do on the way down. Entrance to the 7-ladders canyon is about 30 lei (about €6) so remember to bring some cash if you intend doing this. Luckily, I had enough, but the zipline is quite a bit more (80 lei), so I decided against that.

Hence the name, the canyon consists of a climb up 7 steel ladders through a huge gorge created by the river and has a similar feel to Antelope Canyon in the US. Along the way, I met a Norwegian girl who was living and studying in Copenhagen. She wanted to continue the hike all the way to the top of the mountain but was afraid of bears and asked if I would join her. I said yes, of course, because it was the chivalrous thing to do and not at all because she was drop-dead gorgeous.

After what felt like ages up steep sections over rocks and dirt where the path sometimes disappeared completely, we eventually reached a clearing with a small hut. The hut was a refuge for hikers and had some supplies so the Norwegian girl bought us a coke each since I had shared my water and biscuits with her. From here it was another hour or so hike to the highest point and we bumped into some others who decided to join us – a Norwegian guy who looked like a Viking, a French girl named Camille and an English girl from London. Just as we were heading off a small bear walked out of the forest up ahead and crossed the path but didn’t even notice us. After that, we were all on the lookout for more bears but sadly didn’t see any.

We did, however, bump into a shepherd who got very mad with us for apparently scaring his sheep off the path although we couldn’t understand what he was actually shouting. Despite taking another two hours, the hike to the top was totally worth it as the views are unlike anything I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve heard that the mountains in Switzerland are even more beautiful but they would have to be pretty spectacular to beat this! If you ever get a chance to visit Romania, which you definitely should, I would recommend this hike over any other tourist attraction.

Becoming a local

During the hike, we had all become friends but sadly the Norwegian and English girls had to leave that evening, so I arranged to meet Camille and the Viking for some after-hike drinks. We went to Bibliotheque for some beers and then another bar where we drank some Bechrovka shots and then headed back to their hostel for homemade Palinka, an awful tasting local liquor. Needless to say, I stumbled back to my hostel very drunk, with the promise to move to their hostel, Boemia, the next day.

Despite a mild hangover, I was up early, packed my stuff and moved to Boemia hostel before the others even woke up. After being assigned a bed I had some coffee and got some work done. I was now quite settled in Brasov and had quite decided I might just live here now, so I no longer felt the need to try squeeze in lots of touristy stuff. Camille was a volunteer at the hostel along with a Kiwi girl, Jess, who I had briefly met the night before. They took turns looking after the hostel in the evenings in exchange for free food and board and so the young couple who ran it could get some time off.

Peles Castle

I had been hearing a lot about Peles Castle since I arrived, which people reported as far more beautiful than Bran Castle, so Camille, the Viking and I decided to go visit it the following day. We headed off early and took the €3 train to nearby Sinaia, a short walk from the castle. It really is far more beautiful, although quite expensive to visit if you want to see the whole thing. Just the first floor is 30 lei (€6) and for both floors, it’s double (60 lei), which seems excessive. The other two had student cards so they got half-price but I decided I couldn’t afford that much and just took a first-floor ticket.

After exploring the opulent first floor we attempted to go upstairs but they asked to check our tickets. I said I had accidentally given mine in at the door but since the other two had second-floor tickets, she assumed we were a group and let me in. Score! If you do go to Peles and can afford it, I suggest getting a ticket for both floors (or sneaking in like me) – the upstairs is far more impressive than the first floor! Annoyingly, they try to scam an extra 30 lei out of you for ‘photograph tax’, which is bullshit and I told them so. It does, however, mean you need to be very discreet when taking photos if you don’t cough it up. Fortunately, after traveling to so many supposedly ‘sacred’ sites around the world, I’m a pro at taking discreet photos.

That evening the Viking had to leave but Jess, another guest and I headed out to watch a live music event that the local council was hosting in the town square. It featured some local bands and ended off with an incredible opera singer that sounded as professional as anything I’ve seen on TV (although, I’m tone deaf so what would I know).

We took a bus up to Poiana Brasov the following morning despite mild hangovers and decided to hike up to one of the ski chalets. It wasn’t the most beautiful hike as it mostly followed a dirt road that is a skiing piste during winter. However, at the top, we discovered the pot of gold – free food and palinka! We don’t know why, but a small restaurant was giving away platters of bread, ham, cheese, and cake along with free shots of palinka, so we proceeded to get drunk before stumbling back down the mountain and almost dying. Good day.

Transfagarasan

I spent the following few days mostly working during the day and playing increasingly complex drunken card games with Camille and Jess in the evenings. The hostel (Boemia) had a nice flow of really interesting guests, many of which we got to join in with our game of figuring out, and then playing loudly, the song that was number one when they were born. This, I found, is a great way to get everyone in the hostel involved, even the commonly shy ones. I really should work in a hostel full time.

Anyway, during these days we formulated a plan to hire a car and drive up what Jeremy Clarkson once called the most beautiful road in the world – the Transfagarasan! The road was built by ex-president Ceausescu as an attempt to improve upon the already popular Transalpina, a few kilometres to the west. While it is admittedly more impressive, it is so treacherous that they need to close it every winter.

The car hire companies are a bit odd in Romania and require a minimum rental period of 2 days, so we collected the car the day before Jess and I drove up to Poiana Brasov to have some lunch. It was also good practice for me to get used to driving on the right. The next day we all woke up super early and hit the road at 7 am, along with Camille’s friend who had come to visit her for the weekend. Unfortunately, we didn’t choose the best day weather-wise but that just added to the spookiness of the Romanian countryside.

The road past Bran and around the back of the Carpathian mountains winds up and down along mountainous roads with beautiful scenery all around. It’s dotted with creepy old towns that are littered with interesting and bizarre sights, like strange sculptures and bizarre buildings. After a few hours driving, we eventually began the ascent up the south side of the Transfagarasan, where we stopped to visit another one of Dracula’s supposed castle – Poianeri. Unfortunately, it was closed due to bears, so we continued on across precariously built bridges and through small tunnels until we were winding up along the sides of a huge valley.

Suddenly I realized we were very short on fuel and the chances of finding a gas station out here were slim. The girls were freaking out but I figured as long as we get over the peak we can just free-wheel down the other side to the gas station at the bottom. We had one moment of panic when we stopped for photos and the car wouldn’t start at first but eventually, we made it to the top. Right at the very peak is a short tunnel which, when driven through, result in the most extraordinary event. On the side, we entered it was sunny and clear weather but as we broke out the other side it was practically snowing! The sky was dark with clouds, thick rain was falling and patches of snow surrounded the road. It was like going through a portal into another world.

We found somewhere to park the car amongst the throng of tourists and day-trippers and went to explore this strange landscape. Despite being mid-summer, large swathes of snow remained on the mountain, almost like a glacier. Despite this, many people were hanging around by the lake and some even went for a brief swim. The view from the top is incredible, looking down over what must be the windiest road ever built. Surprisingly, the food stalls at the top weren’t overpriced and we managed to get a decent lunch for about 15 lei (€3). One of the nicer things about Romania is that it isn’t spoilt by tourism…. yet.

Soon we needed to head down, so we all climbed back in the car and started to roll down the road with the engine off to save petrol. It made it difficult to brake and steer without mechanical assistance, especially considering the sharp corners and steep inclines, but we made it. We stopped briefly to explore a waterfall near the base of the pass and then got back on the road for the long ride home.

Personally, I find Brasov to be one of the undiscovered jewels of Eastern Europe but a friend of mine recently visited and found it boring. This highlights how unique the travel experience is for each different individual and how our perception is largely subjective. I always hope my blogs can help people to enjoy a destination better but in reality, the only way to know is to get out there and do it yourself.

As always, have a happy journey …. and never stop exploring!

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[rachelisnotatwork]

Week 3- an island and some highlands

Monday we had breakfast and then made car battle plans. We decided to fill the car up at the closest petrol station so that if we had a repeat of the warning light we could just drive straight onto Glasgow. Every time we stopped the car, there was an anxious moment where we wondered if it would let us go back into gear…

Our first stop (that was not a petrol station forecourt) were the Aira Force falls. 

They were...okay, but given the amount of water that had teemed down from the sky on this trip, just driving through any area with hills had shown us a lot of waterfalls. Then headed onto the Castlerigg stone circle. I’m not entirely sure why we keep visiting stone circles as since I found the big daddy of all stone circles (Stonehenge) dull, I’m not going to be won over by a tiny one. However Marcel probably loves them and after the multiple arguments about not stopping at Stonehenge over the years and then being grumpy when we did visit it, I’m just going to stay silent on the issue. Anyway, it was an underwhelming henge. Again.

We then drove over to Buttermere for a spot of lunch through some scenic high passes (and via an annoying road diversion). The plan was to wander around the perimeter of Buttermere, for which we had only got a 2 hour window. This meant wander was more, rapid, slightly sweaty march over rocks and through puddles and a very creepy dark tunnel. We also overtook quite a lot of elderly people looking alarmingly precarious slithering over the rocks. The views were lovely though.

As we walked back, we heard the distant sound of an ambulance. Then a very sporty mountain rescue man ran past us, coming from the opposite direction, laden down with equipment. Marcel became deeply paranoid that it was a portly ancient gentleman who he’d wanted to help over the rocks but felt the offer might embarrass him, so hadn’t. Pointed out though that even if we went back now we would be far less helpful then the sporty mountain rescue man. (Looked in the paper a few days later and it was a poorly mountaineerer so Marcel was not to blame).

We then drove on for Glasgow. The Lake District hadn’t been quite the calming trip we’d planned, but the car had repeatedly restarted and got back into gear so we even risked stopping at a service station near Lockerbie for coffee. This was the weirdest motorway service station in the world as it appeared to have been taken over by hundreds of geese. Feathers and poo and ominous geese everywhere. Slightly bizarre.

We finally made it to Glasgow in a blazing sunset and celebrated by eating in and not taking the car anywhere before it’s date with the garage.

The next morning we dropped it off and headed on into town. First off we went to the Hunterian museum, which unlike the one in London is only partially devoted to creepy anatomical specimins and has instead also got fun stuff like dinosaur skeletons and the tuba Kelvin used to make lectures a bit more interesting.

Afterwards we headed onto the Kelvingrove museum and looked at some creepy Scottish taxidermised animals, Egyptian mummies and other assorted curiosities; all for free which is really my favourite sort of museum.

The weather was actually pretty decent so we also walked onto to the cathedral and then up to the necropolis before I got hungry for cake and made us wander through town to a huge cake place called Once Upon a Tart.

We had a lazy evening and got delivery pizza, because after a month of each others company the joy of dining out has faded a bit and sometimes you just want a quick meal that doesn’t involve small talk with a waiter.

We weren’t sure how long the car was going to take to be ready the following day, as it was all dependent on when some brake sensor was due to be delivered. So we had a late brunch at a Czech place that serviced delicious tiny oat pancakes (Buchta, thank me later if you go) and then eventually collected it when it was ready at about 2pm (watching Marcel trying to understand the Glaswegian mechanic’s explanation of the fault was amusing). We drove on to the village of Luss, on the shores of Loch Lomand. On the way it started teeming with rain. It did not stop. Luckily our B&B was nice as our only forays out were to it’s attached cafe for tea and then a bit later for dinner. We’ve been so busy in the last few weeks it was quite nice to actually have a day where we did very little.

The next day we briefly admired Loch Lomond (it’s...Loch-y). 

Then we drove on. Marcel had told me in the morning that he’d signed us up for a guided tour, which initially I was super cross about as I really dislike the small talk and the pretending not to hate our fellow tourists. But then he told me it was at a hydroelectric power plant and immediately won me back over.

We stopped on the way to go for a walk at a ruin called Killchurn Castle, which was in a gorgeous location and was looking pretty good in the sun. The walk to and around it, in the stupid mud, was less appealing.

After a quick lunch, we headed on to the power plant. Biggest disappointment; you weren’t allowed to take pictures. Which was a massive shame because it was SO COOL. First you drove a kilometre inside a mountain. Then we got to see their plant collection, which is a study from Manchester Uni on how plants cope with no watering (just the mist from the power plant) and no natural light. Then they told us how they built it (super dangerous, everyone was getting paid 10 x the average wage to blow up huge chunks of rock whilst wearing cardboard hats) and finally they showed us the control room which looked EXACTLY like a James Bond villian’s lair. Probably because it was also built in the 1960s. It was great. They also told us about the one time the National Grid nearly failed; apparently at Charles and Diana’s wedding, they turned around and left the balcony and the entirety of the UK got up and made a cup of tea, which surprised the grid and nearly broke it. Good to know that the most British things ever (tea and royalty) are what nearly took us down.

Despite the joy of the power plant, I still hate Scottish Power with a deep passion though. Even a super cool mountain lair won’t make me forget the time they cut off my gas for 11 days in the middle of winter.

We then drove onto Oban, through some very scenic back roads (for once our sat-nav’s love of single track potholed roads paid off). We tried to see some a seawater fall (which sounded like it doesn’t exist and didn’t...) and then had a wander on the beach before our ferry across to Mull. 

The journey across was gorgeous, with the sun sinking over the hills and the view for miles across the sea.

When we got to Mull, we just had time to check into our B&B (gorgeous) before going out for a terrible pub dinner. Like seriously, even looking at my veggie burger made me feel depressed. Eating it did not help. Thank god on the walk home we could see the milky way in the beautifully clear sky.

This was the last time we saw the beautifully clear sky. Turns out Mull is the rainiest of the Scottish islands. We woke up to ample of amounts of rain. The plan was to go to Iona. We saw glimpses of Mull through the thick rain and cloud as we drove all the way across the island on a tiny single track road.

We got to the ferry terminal. The horizontal rain still whipped across the ocean. The small group of tourists all huddled together in a the “terminal” which was basically a single room with a rubbish cafe in the corner. The ferry arrived. We all dashed on mass into the indoor bit of it. We then all entered into a collective delusion that it might stop raining before we arrived in Iona.

Unsurprisingly the weather did not do an about-turn in the ten minutes it takes to get over to Iona. They pretty much had to use pitchforks to get us out the ferry. We dashed over to the abbey, which involved using both hands to hold our rain hoods down in the rain. Never have I been keener to see the sanctury of a religious building. 

Thankfully because they invented Celtic crosses (to stop the arms falling off their big crosses) they had an attached museum of stone carving which I really explored in order to be out of the rain for a bit longer. I’m not surprised they had great stone carving there. If the weather was like that where I lived, I would become a master stone-carver to avoid any form of outdoor work.

We ate lunch in a place we could see the ferry terminal, so we could minimise the time we spent outside waiting for it. When we got back to the other shore, we decided we’d do a scenic “drive” of Mull rather than get out the car again. Apparently there are a lot of sea otters there. We didn’t see any. We did however manage a brief walk on a very nice sandy beach...but then it started raining again.

Our plan for the evening was to finish our daytrip around Mull by having dinner in Tobemory, the “capital” made very slightly famous by children’s TV. 

I was hoping to escape another dismal dinner. We picked a pub that would actually seat us since it was a Friday night. They only had one vegetarian thing on the menu. It was a veggie burger. And when it came it was THE SAME SODDING VEGGIE BURGER. All sad sweetcorn and breadcrumbs. Not what I had been hoping for.

The next morning in much nicer weather, we headed back to the mainland. We had thought that in late September, things might be less booked up and we’d be able to potter around the North Coast 500 and visit Skye. Turns out that was way too optimistic on our part. Pretty much the only bed left in the land was near Inverness.

This did however give us lots of time for nice walks. Walk number one was near Ben Nevis, in a place called Glen Nevis. Marcel had picked it. You could tell this because when we arrived there was a charming sign telling us we might die.

As you might have guessed, this was another great walk for my vertigo, where I edged along the path in an unpleasant mix of fear and fury not talking to Marcel. We did see a shrew though. 

After a lot of horrible, tiny paths with steep drops on either side, it opened up into a pretty beautiful meadow with a waterfall (Steall falls) at the end. I almost forgave him. He enjoyed messing about on a rope bridge. I worried about our trip back down the same paths.

Thankfully our second walk of the day to Eas Chia-aig falls was far more relaxing and sea-level based.

We arrived for the evening at our very rural B&B weirdly at the exact same time as the only other guests, a trio of Texans. And when we arrived, there was no one else at the B&B, just taped envelopes on the front door with our names on with instructions inside which were our rooms. It totally seemed like the set up of a horror movie. And it was freezing, as the host had clearly turned off the heating whilst they were out.

We beat a swift retreat to Inverness for some warming Thai food and when we arrived back, the hostess was home and the heating was on which made the place seem a lot nicer.

The next morning, after another ruiniously early breakfast (our B&B hosts clearly wanted us gone), we set off to do a lot of the North Coast 500 in one day. It is a gorgeous stretch of the country. On the way to it, Marcel wanted to stop at the Corrieshalloch Bridge, which is apparently horribly vertiginous. When we got there the bridge was closed for repairs. I rejoiced. Marcel decided instead we should walk along the gully, which involved lots of unfenced drops and made me wish the bridge had been open. There was a nice view RIGHT at the very end though.

We decided to have one main stop, which was in Durness. This turned out to be a genius idea. Firstly because it has a chocolate cafe (what are the chances!) so I could eat a disgustingly chocolately lunch. 

Then we went for an amazing walk past Balnakeil Old Church (claim to fame: John Lennon’s aunt was buried there) and on to Balnakeil beach. 

It was incredibly empty and at the end we sat in a sheltered cove and marvelled at our good fortune at getting this gorgeous spot to ourselves. And then on the way back Marcel annoyed a cow by trying to pet it (his enthusiasm on seeing a cow matches that of your average toddler) and it nearly squashed him.

After that we stopped off at an indoor waterfall that apparently a legendary highway man used for corpse disposal in a place called Smoo Cave. Marcel unfortunately squashed a mouse under a rock after he decided to step onto the rock instead of the path to stop stressing the tiny mouse that was trying to escape him….at the exact same moment the mouse decided to run under the rock to hide. Sad times and much guilt.

In the evening we drove on to Wick for the night. Scenery on the first bit was pretty amazing, then less so.

The north-east end of Scotland is a lot more bleak and flat so there were no photo stops on the last bit to Wick. We weren’t inspired to go out and instead self-catered in our airbnb and watched John Wick 2, because why not when you are in Wick?

And so ended week 3 of the Great British Road Trip!