#it feels too soon to say goodbye
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Tress scratched the best itch for me, I’ve been craving a good fairy tale and it was just perfect. I kept slipping so hard into the fairy tale aspects that I kept getting caught by surprise whenever a cosmere thing stopped beating around the bush and revealed itself, actually. While I’m sure that wasn’t fully the intention, it was a really fun way to read some brandermansanderman coming fresh off of sunlit man and how intensely locked in I was with the Connections. Genuinely Tress is such a fun little romp. I love girls who sail in fucked up seas and this is a genre I want more of please thank you.
#it was so much fun I did have my suspicions about a few things because of fairy tale tropes but I didn’t get all of them!#I was taken by surprise by many things!#not...not the glowing woman being elantrian I did get that one especially with the floor map#I wonder if that changes actually#like does her cockship make aon-Connecting maps of the places she goes to so she can fuck around with locals?#what’s with space travel resulting in callus dicks manipulating the local planetary populations?#is this related to one of the many groups fucking about with the cosmere or is it just the nature of the people funding these excursions?#will zellion ever have sex?#all these questions and more to be added next year in bransandermanderson strikes again part five of ten alphabet assemble#I want to see the other seas now though ): the worlds are so cool that I’m never quite ready to say goodbye#I want to linger between the pages and sift the words between my fingers like sun-warmed sand#it feels too soon to say goodbye#cosmere#tress of the emerald sea#tress of the emerald sea spoilers
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trying so hard to act like kevin saying the junoverse finale is likely to air early august didn't feel like getting kicked full force in the gut im clutching my chest shedding tears how am i supposed to go on with this knowledge
#i already had to say goodbye to tma in 2021 and that destroyed me why are you making me go through that again#i knew it was ending but august feels TOO SOON#the penumbra podcast#junoverse#the penumbra pod#juno steel#tpp
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Had to say goodbye to my dog Reggie today, 16 years with him and we couldn’t let him be in pain anymore
He had the first seizure he ever had in his life last night, and just didn’t get better; He was dazed and wasn’t taking food or water, it would have just put him under so much stress and pain if we did all those scans and possible surgeries, medications affected him way to harshly for just calming him for a trip to the groomers now
It hurts, he’s the first dog we’ve had so long and having to make the family decision to let him go was so hard
Just wanted to get this out somewhere, it’s been such a hard day, and the silence in our house is just so crushing right now
Reggie was such a smart, sassy, and sweet spunky lil guy, well loved by everyone in our house, and he was more than just a pet
He was our family
We’re missing him terribly already, but we know he knew he was loved until the end, we all stayed with him as it was done; it was painless and quick
Doesn’t mean it hurts any less, but we know he’s not hurting anymore
Rest well sweet Reggie, Auntie came to get you
Feb 2007-Oct 2023
#tw pet death#tw euthanasia#tw pet loss#cillie's babble#shut up cillie no one cares#I know people won’t really care or know too much about my dog#I didn’t really talk about him much on here#but this is the only place I feel ok sharing this right now#grieving is never gonna easier is it?#I just want my dog back but that isn’t going to happen#he was getting up there in age but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye so soon#are we ever really ready to goodbye at any time?
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It’s official y’all, I lost my save
Goodbye Arthur 😔
Goodbye Gimlet 🥺
#GIMLET 😫#I didn’t even get to say goodbye#gone too soon#I feel empty#OH MY GOD MY GUNS#MY PRECIOUS CUSTOMIZED GUNS#time to do it all over again#at least this time I can really focus on getting gold I guess#😐#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#fish pics
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*sitting with a deranged smile on my face*
almost done...yesssssss.
#this lil house is gonna come alive soon#just need to paint the eyes in#I'm so excited can you feel it#it has a buncha small flaws but idgaf i love em#i have this for at least a decade#now im repainting it#giving it a new look...#it was made when i was just a elementary kid-#doing this kinda feels like saying goodbye to my mess of a childhood tbh#i like it#and i hope it likes its new look too...#I'm looking at it and a smile forms on my face whenever I do that#this is so fun#i can't even describe what i feel rn#aughhgg#welcome home#welcome home home#rambles#just rambling#rambling in the tags#lmao#drowsy makes stuff
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have you heard that Ash is going to leave the anime?
I did, I just heard about it not too long ago :') End of an era
#ask#anon#not art#i havent kept up with the anime since like 2013 admittedly#but it is still bittersweet since i watched it a TON as a kid#my boy accomplished his dreams and now hes passing the torch#hard to say goodbye to the kid we all grew up with even though i had a feeling for the past few years it was gonna be coming soon#now he gets to grow up too#hopefully
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For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.
But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,
#idea one is the day after things start changing and they haven't discussed it fully yet.#Pavo is mulling over some things and Esti is too nervous to ask about it. but they're alone out hunting#its such a nice day. and Esti thinks hes going to be saying goodbye soon. and hes making himself sick with anxiety over it#and they're alone together like old times but its Not like old times because Esti remembers how sweetly Pavo had kissed him that#morning after and how good it had felt to spend the whole morning in bed cureld up against him.#and Esti doesnt think he could stomach the idea of leaving without getting another kiss or at least finding out if Pavo regretted it or not#and the story is them being sweet on each other and avoiding the big heavy topic until Esti can verbally ask about it. because like Pavo#knows him well enough to know whats eating him up. but he wants to hear Esti say the words#and then the second idea is Esti waking up from a nightmare after hes been brought home from that hell. he screams for Pavo and#like of course pavo is on his feet and at the door that separates their rooms in an instant. but its locked and Esti is too#scared to navigate to it because hes already wound up and hes still not used to life as a blind man. so the idea of getting out of bed#and crossing an open room with nothing to help him orient himself is Terrifying.#probably more than it should be but the nightmares are still fresh in his head and hes having to make himself focus and ignore them#and just reasure himself that it Actually is Pavo and not one of those monster that had used his voice. and its hard hes crying and Pavo#has to take down part of the fucking door frame to get the sliding door off its tracks without just busting it down since Esti didn't#need that particular audio experience right now and he liked that doors painting and Pavo had already sent for the craftsperson who#made his eyes to commission them to make a set for esti. and he doesn't want to destroy something pretty esti likes when itll only be a few#until esti can enjoy it again. and he gets into the room and esti scooches over in bed to welcome him into it because despite Everything#esti still will always feel safer pinned between a wall and Pavo than anywhere else. and he just needs to feel safe.#and the third thing is because of something deardest said a yesterday i think about Pavo in his old age. and im just Chewing on the image#of him and esti in his carriage. Esti's hair has gone white and hes nearing his end. and thentwo of them are together and happy#and able to reflect on the lives they've had together. and its mostly just the idea of Pavo being glad hes so much older than Esti. because#it means despite Esti only being half demon and having a much shorter life because of it. Pavo isnt going to outlive him by very long.#and All of this. Everything was because of how scared Pavo was to be alone. and hes not going to have to be in his last days.#so Yeah. thats been whats on my mind when im not devoting it to like lame shit like work#wow im bad at reading#their url is derederest#not deardest
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Troisième acte scène XIV, Cyrano de Bergerac (Théâtre 14, mise-en-scène d'Henri Lazarini)
#Cyrano#Roxane#Christian#Cyrano de Bergerac#Edmond Rostand#I talk too much#About books#It was hard to leave out his delivery of 'Dire qu'il croit me faire énormément de peine!'#I love the moment in which Cyrano and Christian stand there just watching the regiment leaving#perhaps as if already contemplating their own deaths#I wasn't convinced by the choice the 1st time I watched this but now I love how they played with the somewhat fun potential of this exchange#and I think I came to love it so due to the detail of the lingering hands reaching for each other in the dark#The way this production dances around the tragic and comedic aspects of the play‚ often dwelling precisely in the line between them‚#is fantastic in my opinion. I think they usually manage it very well‚ and that it works with Cyrano as a character#even in the narrative inside the narrative ('Et pendant quatorze ans‚ il a joué ce rôle / D'être le vieil ami qui vient pour être drôle!')‚#as well as working metanarratively with the motifs of the play#I love that they included a sort of goodbye between Roxane and Cyrano as well‚ a goodbye as two people who care deeply about each other#and have a hard time leaving the other. I think the gesture makes a very good job at evoking that feeling of having to say goodbye#to someone well loved‚ uncertain of when you'll be able to see them again but knowing it wouldn't be soon#The fact that it's done in the dark enhances that feeling even more I think#I truly love the detail. It's actually the reason why I saved this fragment
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when something good ends it's always difficult to accept at first but I think the quicker you move on the better. And I rather like this quote from doctor who to sum it up:
#and yes i am talking about kane lol#i'm struggling to deal with it#bit slowly coming to terms with it now#also can be applied to saying goodbye to ten in doctor who#still my favourite doctor#but we never would have got eleven and twelve and thirteen (even tho i'm not a fan at all) and now the new doctor if it didn’t end#i find there's always a doctor who quote somewhere to help when you're feeling shit about something#and who knows maybe one day there'll be another player like kane come along that will be just as good or just a loved at least#and yes i know I am talking about doctor who and spurs in one post and they have no relation whatsoever#but just go with it lol#point is i'm sure eventually something great will begin soon#and that can be applied to any real life situation too where something changes
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I think miles is going to die because he has this awful abscess in his mouth and we can’t afford to treat him and he bleeds from the mouth and i’m so scared……. he’s twelve, so he’s no spring chicken, but i just love him so much and seeing him in this pain is unbearable and i don’t know where to turn
#I know he may have to get put to sleep when we can finally get him to a vet but i dont feel ready to say goodbye#I can’t be selfish because it’s not about me but he hasn’t been his usual cheery self in a little while but it’s getting worse#we can’t even afford our own oral surgery much less our dog’s#it hurts so much to know i could lose him very soon#i haven’t dealt with a pet death in a very long time#and he’s such a beautiful soul i just#I need to spend more time with him and treat him extra special if i can’t save him#i need him to know he’s loved while he’s feeling this pain#but i keep crying and it keeps making him nervous so i have to stay away until i can control my feelings#pet death cw#I feel like it’s all our faults#I don’t know why but i keep thinking about different things i could have done#more ways i could have cared for him#i want more than anything for him to be happy again but i don’t know if that will happen or if it’s too late#we all love him to bits but despite always playing with him and petting him i still feel neglectful somehow#like we could have prevented this
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Finally doing some emotional processing ✌
#speculation nation#went thru old pictures with my sister to find things of my uncle#to display during the funeral :p#and i ended up crying. look at me go! actually letting myself feel things for once.#in large part it's the knowledge that such a permanent fixture of my life is now gone#my fun loving and mischievous uncle...#it's hard to say goodbye to someone so soon. he was younger than my dad even.#but cancer doesnt descriminate with people's ages haha#i spent the past week compartmentalizing like crazy & not letting myself process it at all#so it just did not feel real. i was far too removed from it all.#but now im in familiar ground. spaces he's been in. as recently as last christmas.#i've... been dealing with far too much death lately.#it has me going through life in doubt. because you never know when it'll be the last time you see someone.#life can be normal and then theyre gone. and there's no real way to predict it.#i know ive been writing a Grief Fic but like @ life maybe give me a break for a few years lol. just maybe.#i guess it's been almost 4 years since my grandma died. doesnt feel like it's been that long tho#my grandpa died in 2018. my grandma in 2019. my cat sammy in 2021. my cat cassy may 2023. and now my uncle july 3rd 2023#too much death. too much fucking death. can i Please get a break for at least 5 years? please and thank you?#im just... really tired of loss.#negative/#death/#animal death ment/
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If he happens to get kicked out of the tavern earlier than his usual exits or even on nights he decides to skip out on drinking entirely, Kaeya will always make his way to Crepus’s grave and stay there for a spell. He asks for no forgiveness nor weeps, rather talks quite animatedly as if the man were still there, updating him on the recent happenings and joking lightly in his complaints about Diluc and the Knights. Sometimes, he can swear he almost hears the man’s voice in the wind.
That, is at long last when the tears start to fall.
#hc; kaeya#//He never begs for forgiveness nor says he’s sorry bc he doesn’t feel he deserves to#//Is almost scared he’ll get a sign Crepus actually recents him from beyond#//Or worse; that it will break the damn and Kae will end up screaming and wailing#//WHY did Crepus use the Delusion? WHY did he have to leave them?#//WHY couldn’t he be there when Kaeya needed him most?#//WHY did he have to be so kind and take in someone like him?#//Kae can only ignore it all and pretend all is fine to hold the line#//Maybe then he can be happier in the moment too#//As soon as he starts getting weepy; he bids his goodbyes and hightails it out of there#//Looking for a nice wasp nest to kick up to process the feelings welling up#//Usually hunting down hilichurls or Treasure Hoarders#//Anything but wallow and be consumed by his unprocessed sadness
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play them closer, please
all the songs you wrote for her while you were
holding me
did your fingers ever stop?
did your mind know peace in my arms?
#was it just too much for you?#was it not enough?#sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#found a letter from her while I was cleaning my room today and now I feel awful#what else was i gonna do? you were made for love.... pretending I don't need it too... so you won't give me up....#oh to be eighteen#i just have to let this feeling pass i just have to let it pass it just has to flow through me#this will all be over soon i just need to make it through this#i don't even like her i don't want her i don't miss her#it just hurts#i just want to know what i did wrong#i just want her to apologize#i just wanted to get to say goodbye#i just wanted to say goodbye.#from the couch#Spotify
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“katsuki bakugo.”
you glare at him as soon as you enter the living room. he startles slightly and furrows his brows to match your scowl.
“the hell do you want? what are you comin’ in here screaming for?”
you pout at him and cross your arms.
“you know exactly what you did.”
he groans and stands up, dropping his phone on the couch as he goes over to you. you let out a huff and turn away from him causing him to roll his eyes. within seconds you’re being lifted off your feet.
“wha- hey! put me down you jerk!”
“not till ya tell me what’s got you all worked up, pretty.”
you can feel the grin on his lips as he nuzzles into your neck, placing kisses along your pulse line. katsuki knows he’s won when you sigh and go limp in his arms.
“you didn’t kiss me goodbye this morning… you hate me,” you conclude. he headbutts you softly.
“stop saying dumb shit,” he presses a gentle to kiss to your temple, “you know damn well how much i love you.”
you slide out of his arms and turn to face him, pout still on your face.
“well your lack of kisses this morning says otherwise.”
“i kissed you this morning as soon as we woke up,” he says with a smirk, arms coming to wrap around your waist and pulling you close.
“yeah that was my good morning kiss, i need my goodbye kiss too, dummy,” you state. he gives you an unimpressed look and you return it with a grin.
katsuki rolls his eyes again.
“you’re right, i shoulda known,” he says sarcastically, but there’s no real venom in his voice.
“mhm,” you agree, pecking his nose, “now you know for future reference. i need a good morning kiss, then a breakfast kiss, then a getting ready kiss… probably a few kisses in between them all too… and then right before you leave, i need my good bye kiss.”
he snorts.
“any kisses you’re forgettin’?”
“hmmm… probably my i’m sorry that i missed my good morning kiss kiss.”
he grins.
“that i can do.”
#mha#mha x reader#mha x you#mha x y/n#mha fluff#bakugo#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo fluff#bnha#bnha x reader#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#bnha fluff#katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#straight from the notebook! <3
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gojo hates whenever you say “bye,” to him.
“heyy. don’t say that. it’s see you later,” he corrects you, pulling you into a tight hug. his embrace was warm, you felt practically squished against him, but you never minded. he’s always loathed goodbyes, especially whenever they came from you…the love of his life, his will to live, his entire being.
it’d be the most random moments, for instance, you being on a phone call with him—you’d conclude your conversation with him before saying that word.
“no—it’s see you later, baby.”
“oh..see you later, ‘toru.”
he’s never told you why flat out why he isn’t fond of the word ‘bye’ so, you never questioned it. not once. you figured it was just another one of his personal dislikes, which was an entire list if you were being honest. the word had simply little to no meaning, yet to him it meant so much more. you find yourself sometimes pondering, wondering how a small three lettered word would hold so much meaning…
furthermore, you wouldn’t expect to find out so soon.
it’s always ‘goodbye’ or ‘bye’ and never ‘see you later’ until gojo’s laid in your arms.
clinging onto his last breaths, a hand squeezing onto yours as if he didn’t want to let go.
myriads of droplets of your own pathetic tears fell against his pale frigid skin.
your mind couldn’t fathom nor process how him. the satoru gojo, the strongest, manage to lose. not only lose his battle but lose the one and only love of his life.
“g—goodbye, baby.”
“don’t you mean see you later?” you corrected him, furrowing your eyebrows while bringing a thumb towards his cheek to lightly stroke it.
oh . . he always loved that tiny gesture, it always calmed him, soothed him, makes him think that everything would be okay.
your voice broke the more you spoke as you watched him succumb into a pure new world of peace, pure bliss.
even in final moments, he’s still got that dumb beaming grin of his. you sniffled, feeling the scorching heat reside in your heart.
you were desperate for him to stay before he struggles to bring your hand up to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss before whispering,
“i . . i know, but it’s different this time. just say it for me, one more time,” and his eyes that was once so full of life. “please.”
they looked different.
demoralized, defeated…
“. . . goodbye, satoru. i love you.”
you awaited for him to say it back, he’s always said it back, he’s even beat you to it. but like always, gojo was right.
you were too late, far too late with your timing that before you knew it . . .
he was already gone.
all thanks to your goodbye.
#★vegasbaby.#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojou satoru x you#gojo angst#jjk angst#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jjk drabbles#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen angst
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what do u mean this is the last loki season and im never getting him n mobius back as main characters in their own show again
#i am . devastated...........#i always thought this show was going to go on for a few more seasons like dksjxlsjxkdsks it feels too Soon. what the fuck#i wasnt watching this season w the mindset of it being the last one at all (was anyone?? i wasnt following any news#so idk if we were supposed to know) n this is making it worse#i still have the last ep left n now i wont watch it bc i dont want to say goodbye lmfao. Denial#the way all my shows are gone atp like sksjdkdkd rip...............
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