#it feels too soon to say goodbye
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off-brand-adorabbit ¡ 1 year ago
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Tress scratched the best itch for me, I’ve been craving a good fairy tale and it was just perfect. I kept slipping so hard into the fairy tale aspects that I kept getting caught by surprise whenever a cosmere thing stopped beating around the bush and revealed itself, actually. While I’m sure that wasn’t fully the intention, it was a really fun way to read some brandermansanderman coming fresh off of sunlit man and how intensely locked in I was with the Connections. Genuinely Tress is such a fun little romp. I love girls who sail in fucked up seas and this is a genre I want more of please thank you.
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sainz100 ¡ 1 month ago
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2024 Hungarian GP | x (edited)
#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#the (edited) is quite unnecessary as it is most readily apparent lol but!!#I tried to rotate it 45 degrees ish and my lack of photo editing skills leaves much to be desired#anyways arm 😵‍💫❤️✨#I fear I'll be in a perpetual state of missing him#but I'll be savoring memories of him like light from a star still reaching earth years after its gone out 🌠#also that's overly dramatic hehe a new journey awaits!!! and I will be excited if he wants to share it with us!!!#until then I'll be blogging like its 2017 at times hehe#omg I was looking up top 2017 tracks and man there were some bangers that year 👏😎#okay nostalgia trip over I've been meaning to write but tbh I got myself all needlessly stressed!!#2025 is the year of not adding so much undue stress on myself - it's keeping me from flying!!!#also 2025 goals include drinking more water and less coffee 😒 sigh hehe#hope everyone has a very wonderful last day of the year!!!!#enjoying time with friends or fam or favorite hobbies ❤️#off to another chapter!! I hope good things are in store!!! 🎁🎉✨❤️#also if you read this far then hello and also my silliest yearning is Dan comes in to replace Liam in the summer#even tho RBR does Not deserve him and the stress of the sport with travel and media scrutiny are so much#retiring at 35? a dream!! but I do wonder what the vibe will be like after DTS drops#it feels like a proper goodbye had yet to come...idk#I'm still excited for Carlos and Max and Lewis and new faves too but#ahh I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before#and he himself said he's done!!! so! c'est la vie#not goodbye but see ya later (in supercars or as a globetrotting dashing sponsor or just kickin it on the farm)#I'm at peace with all for the most part!!! but I'll be missing what could've been all the same#anyways I should go touch some grass! I'll be back soon!!#thank you everyone for all the kind tags my heart is like 💖💞💓💗💕!!!!#I appreciate this space and y'all so much ❤️❤️❤️ onto another year together!!#many more memories to make!!!
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xxplastic-cubexx ¡ 13 hours ago
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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thetentacleking ¡ 1 year ago
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Had to say goodbye to my dog Reggie today, 16 years with him and we couldn’t let him be in pain anymore
He had the first seizure he ever had in his life last night, and just didn’t get better; He was dazed and wasn’t taking food or water, it would have just put him under so much stress and pain if we did all those scans and possible surgeries, medications affected him way to harshly for just calming him for a trip to the groomers now
It hurts, he’s the first dog we’ve had so long and having to make the family decision to let him go was so hard
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Just wanted to get this out somewhere, it’s been such a hard day, and the silence in our house is just so crushing right now
Reggie was such a smart, sassy, and sweet spunky lil guy, well loved by everyone in our house, and he was more than just a pet
He was our family
We’re missing him terribly already, but we know he knew he was loved until the end, we all stayed with him as it was done; it was painless and quick
Doesn’t mean it hurts any less, but we know he’s not hurting anymore
Rest well sweet Reggie, Auntie came to get you
Feb 2007-Oct 2023
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tinyfishtits ¡ 9 months ago
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It’s official y’all, I lost my save
Goodbye Arthur 😔
Goodbye Gimlet 🥺
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drowzyscatterbrain ¡ 2 years ago
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*sitting with a deranged smile on my face*
almost done...yesssssss.
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bitchfitch ¡ 2 years ago
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For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.
But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,
#idea one is the day after things start changing and they haven't discussed it fully yet.#Pavo is mulling over some things and Esti is too nervous to ask about it. but they're alone out hunting#its such a nice day. and Esti thinks hes going to be saying goodbye soon. and hes making himself sick with anxiety over it#and they're alone together like old times but its Not like old times because Esti remembers how sweetly Pavo had kissed him that#morning after and how good it had felt to spend the whole morning in bed cureld up against him.#and Esti doesnt think he could stomach the idea of leaving without getting another kiss or at least finding out if Pavo regretted it or not#and the story is them being sweet on each other and avoiding the big heavy topic until Esti can verbally ask about it. because like Pavo#knows him well enough to know whats eating him up. but he wants to hear Esti say the words#and then the second idea is Esti waking up from a nightmare after hes been brought home from that hell. he screams for Pavo and#like of course pavo is on his feet and at the door that separates their rooms in an instant. but its locked and Esti is too#scared to navigate to it because hes already wound up and hes still not used to life as a blind man. so the idea of getting out of bed#and crossing an open room with nothing to help him orient himself is Terrifying.#probably more than it should be but the nightmares are still fresh in his head and hes having to make himself focus and ignore them#and just reasure himself that it Actually is Pavo and not one of those monster that had used his voice. and its hard hes crying and Pavo#has to take down part of the fucking door frame to get the sliding door off its tracks without just busting it down since Esti didn't#need that particular audio experience right now and he liked that doors painting and Pavo had already sent for the craftsperson who#made his eyes to commission them to make a set for esti. and he doesn't want to destroy something pretty esti likes when itll only be a few#until esti can enjoy it again. and he gets into the room and esti scooches over in bed to welcome him into it because despite Everything#esti still will always feel safer pinned between a wall and Pavo than anywhere else. and he just needs to feel safe.#and the third thing is because of something deardest said a yesterday i think about Pavo in his old age. and im just Chewing on the image#of him and esti in his carriage. Esti's hair has gone white and hes nearing his end. and thentwo of them are together and happy#and able to reflect on the lives they've had together. and its mostly just the idea of Pavo being glad hes so much older than Esti. because#it means despite Esti only being half demon and having a much shorter life because of it. Pavo isnt going to outlive him by very long.#and All of this. Everything was because of how scared Pavo was to be alone. and hes not going to have to be in his last days.#so Yeah. thats been whats on my mind when im not devoting it to like lame shit like work#wow im bad at reading#their url is derederest#not deardest
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longagoitwastuesday ¡ 2 years ago
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Troisième acte scène XIV, Cyrano de Bergerac (ThÊâtre 14, mise-en-scène d'Henri Lazarini)
#Cyrano#Roxane#Christian#Cyrano de Bergerac#Edmond Rostand#I talk too much#About books#It was hard to leave out his delivery of 'Dire qu'il croit me faire énormément de peine!'#I love the moment in which Cyrano and Christian stand there just watching the regiment leaving#perhaps as if already contemplating their own deaths#I wasn't convinced by the choice the 1st time I watched this but now I love how they played with the somewhat fun potential of this exchange#and I think I came to love it so due to the detail of the lingering hands reaching for each other in the dark#The way this production dances around the tragic and comedic aspects of the play‚ often dwelling precisely in the line between them‚#is fantastic in my opinion. I think they usually manage it very well‚ and that it works with Cyrano as a character#even in the narrative inside the narrative ('Et pendant quatorze ans‚ il a joué ce rôle / D'��tre le vieil ami qui vient pour être drôle!')‚#as well as working metanarratively with the motifs of the play#I love that they included a sort of goodbye between Roxane and Cyrano as well‚ a goodbye as two people who care deeply about each other#and have a hard time leaving the other. I think the gesture makes a very good job at evoking that feeling of having to say goodbye#to someone well loved‚ uncertain of when you'll be able to see them again but knowing it wouldn't be soon#The fact that it's done in the dark enhances that feeling even more I think#I truly love the detail. It's actually the reason why I saved this fragment
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tenthdocter ¡ 1 year ago
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when something good ends it's always difficult to accept at first but I think the quicker you move on the better. And I rather like this quote from doctor who to sum it up:
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mabelsguidetolife ¡ 2 years ago
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I think miles is going to die because he has this awful abscess in his mouth and we can’t afford to treat him and he bleeds from the mouth and i’m so scared……. he’s twelve, so he’s no spring chicken, but i just love him so much and seeing him in this pain is unbearable and i don’t know where to turn
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orcelito ¡ 2 years ago
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Finally doing some emotional processing ✌
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imthatqueerkid ¡ 8 months ago
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play them closer, please
all the songs you wrote for her while you were
holding me
did your fingers ever stop?
did your mind know peace in my arms?
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kebma ¡ 5 months ago
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“katsuki bakugo.”
you glare at him as soon as you enter the living room. he startles slightly and furrows his brows to match your scowl.
“the hell do you want? what are you comin’ in here screaming for?”
you pout at him and cross your arms.
“you know exactly what you did.”
he groans and stands up, dropping his phone on the couch as he goes over to you. you let out a huff and turn away from him causing him to roll his eyes. within seconds you’re being lifted off your feet.
“wha- hey! put me down you jerk!”
“not till ya tell me what’s got you all worked up, pretty.”
you can feel the grin on his lips as he nuzzles into your neck, placing kisses along your pulse line. katsuki knows he’s won when you sigh and go limp in his arms.
“you didn’t kiss me goodbye this morning… you hate me,” you conclude. he headbutts you softly.
“stop saying dumb shit,” he presses a gentle to kiss to your temple, “you know damn well how much i love you.”
you slide out of his arms and turn to face him, pout still on your face.
“well your lack of kisses this morning says otherwise.”
“i kissed you this morning as soon as we woke up,” he says with a smirk, arms coming to wrap around your waist and pulling you close.
“yeah that was my good morning kiss, i need my goodbye kiss too, dummy,” you state. he gives you an unimpressed look and you return it with a grin.
katsuki rolls his eyes again.
“you’re right, i shoulda known,” he says sarcastically, but there’s no real venom in his voice.
“mhm,” you agree, pecking his nose, “now you know for future reference. i need a good morning kiss, then a breakfast kiss, then a getting ready kiss��� probably a few kisses in between them all too… and then right before you leave, i need my good bye kiss.”
he snorts.
“any kisses you’re forgettin’?”
“hmmm… probably my i’m sorry that i missed my good morning kiss kiss.”
he grins.
“that i can do.”
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screampied ¡ 1 year ago
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gojo hates whenever you say “bye,” to him.
“heyy. don’t say that. it’s see you later,” he corrects you, pulling you into a tight hug. his embrace was warm, you felt practically squished against him, but you never minded. he’s always loathed goodbyes, especially whenever they came from you…the love of his life, his will to live, his entire being.
it’d be the most random moments, for instance, you being on a phone call with him—you’d conclude your conversation with him before saying that word.
“no—it’s see you later, baby.”
“oh..see you later, ‘toru.”
he’s never told you why flat out why he isn’t fond of the word ‘bye’ so, you never questioned it. not once. you figured it was just another one of his personal dislikes, which was an entire list if you were being honest. the word had simply little to no meaning, yet to him it meant so much more. you find yourself sometimes pondering, wondering how a small three lettered word would hold so much meaning…
furthermore, you wouldn’t expect to find out so soon.
it’s always ‘goodbye’ or ‘bye’ and never ‘see you later’ until gojo’s laid in your arms.
clinging onto his last breaths, a hand squeezing onto yours as if he didn’t want to let go.
myriads of droplets of your own pathetic tears fell against his pale frigid skin.
your mind couldn’t fathom nor process how him. the satoru gojo, the strongest, manage to lose. not only lose his battle but lose the one and only love of his life.
“g—goodbye, baby.”
“don’t you mean see you later?” you corrected him, furrowing your eyebrows while bringing a thumb towards his cheek to lightly stroke it.
oh . . he always loved that tiny gesture, it always calmed him, soothed him, makes him think that everything would be okay.
your voice broke the more you spoke as you watched him succumb into a pure new world of peace, pure bliss.
even in final moments, he’s still got that dumb beaming grin of his. you sniffled, feeling the scorching heat reside in your heart.
you were desperate for him to stay before he struggles to bring your hand up to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss before whispering,
“i . . i know, but it’s different this time. just say it for me, one more time,” and his eyes that was once so full of life. “please.”
they looked different.
demoralized, defeated…
“. . . goodbye, satoru. i love you.”
you awaited for him to say it back, he’s always said it back, he’s even beat you to it. but like always, gojo was right.
you were too late, far too late with your timing that before you knew it . . .
he was already gone.
all thanks to your goodbye.
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writersblockiskillingme ¡ 1 month ago
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Russian Roulette | The Salesman
Pairing: The Salesman x fem!reader
Summary: After doing everything in your power to find the salesman who got you and Gi-hun into all this mess, he unexpectedly shows up in your motel room.
Warning/s: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2!!, angst, unspoken feelings (until now), guns, playing Russian Roulette, threatening, mocking, blood, character death, cursing (maybe, idk), tears, talk about the games, tension, reader gives off femme fatale energy, also reader has longer hair to fit into a braid but if you don't just ignore it please, possible grammar and spelling mistakes
Author's note: I just watched the first few episodes, and for a little while, I got out of the writers block. NO SPOILERS, PLEASE!
Prequel to this fic here!
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Rain was pouring down like crazy, wind blowing around as I drove my black car with full speed as I tried to get to the Pink Motel that Gi-hun and I co-owned as fast as I possibly could after today's events. Gun that was placed on the seat next to me was jumping slightly as I drow down the road every time I hit a bump or such. My left hand gripped the steering wheel til my knuckles turned pure white as my right hand gripped the phone to the same extent.
"I found bloodstains there!" I practically shouted into my phone as I came to a stop, the images of blood seeping down the trash bags and the knife thrown on the ground never really leaving my mind. "Gi-hun is still looking, I'm sure they didn't get far from that alley."
"What do we do, miss?"
"Check all the CCTV and dashcam footage you can collect from the area and keep asking around." I continued to practically shout for him to hear me over the rain on the street, my braid swinging over on my left shoulder as I got out of the car, running towards the entrance to the Pink Motel.
"I'll join you soon." And with that, I ended the call, quickly putting my phone in the left pocket of my jacket.
I roughly pulled loose threads of hair that fell on my eyes as I quickly took out the key. However, I came to a sudden stop. Something wasn't right. I found myself freezing as I slowly moved my head to look around. That's when I noticed. The sign of the Pink Motel was lit up.
Someone is here, and they want me to know that.
I stood there in the rain for a little while before I decided to take a deep breath before entering. I walked up all the way to the fourth floor before entering, the light going on as I did. I walked into my bedroom as quietly as I could. But even before I could prepare myself for what I was about to see, just as I walked to the end of the first corner, I saw him.
After three years of endlessly, tirelessly trying to find him, he was here. Right in front of me. He was standing in front of my wall, a shining black gun in his hand, looking at the calendar on which I crossed the dates with red marker every single day for three years. Next to in was a map of the underground, every single route mapped out, drawn on, and my handwriting shone on it to.
"It's been a long time, Miss."
For a while, I said nothing. I was just standing there, soaking wet, the rain that I took with me inside dripping on the floor. I was staking in his appearance for a moment. He was just as tall as I remember, standing there in his suit. For a moment, it seemed like he didn't change one bit, like nothing changed from the moment that I fist saw him on the train station three years ago.
But it did.
His hair was longer, I won the games alongside Gi-hun, we weren't on the train station, but in my Motel room, he wasn't holding a briefcase, he was holding a gun and I didn't.
But his voice was the same, he was still as tall as I remember, I suppose his smile was the same, too. And maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same feelings he did three years ago before I gained and lost it all.
I just sighed and moved towards the table I ate. There was a towel that I threw last night. I started to pat my hair, trying to dry it off as I looked around for some dry clothes.
"You should've gotten on that plane that day." He said, looking over at me as I paused.
"I changed my mind when I saw you there." I said before continuing to dry myself.
The moment of quiet continued as I put the towel away. He tapped the map with his gun before he started to speak again. I truly didn't know how to feel. After I wasted three years trying to find him, he just shows up at my motel room. Funny.
"It looks like you've been trying hard to find me, darling." I could just hear that ignorant smirk in his voice. Motherfucker.
"Don't let it get to your head." I told him slowly, my voice completely calm. "I just wanted to thank you." I said as I took off my wet jacket, throwing it in the corner.
"Thank me?" He asked as he sat down on one of the sofas by the table next to my bed. I turned to look at him slowly, a dry jacket in my hand. That's when I noticed blood on the collar of his suit and his face. Motherfucker.
"For inviting me to the game." I said as I approached him, his eyes on me as I sat down, opposite him. "I won and took a bloody fortune with me."
He kept quiet, listening to me, his dark eyes flickering all over my face as I spoke.
"So the decent thing of me to do would be to thank you for it."
"I'm just a messenger who delivers invitations." He smirked, but before he could say more, I continued, all off my anger resurfacing.
"And just who had you deliver those invitations, handsome?" I spoke, venom infecting my every word. "Let me meet him. I have something to say to him."
"Give me the message, and I'll pass it along." He continued, giving me a smile at the end. It appears that I was right. His smile is the same.
"Oh, dear." I mockingly pouted as I crossed my legs. "I'm afraid that it's not something I can discuss with an underling like you."
His smile quivered as he raised his eyebrow. Waiting on me to continue.
"You prey on people who are hanging by a thread and corner them at subway stations." I could feel myself slowly starting to shake from anger and despair. "Someone like you wouldn't be able to understand what I'm trying to say, of course."
For a while, there was silence yet again. We were just looking at each other. Our eyes never leaving each other's.
"You know what the funniest thing was?"
"What, miss?"
"For a moment, when I was hunting you down, I was just delusional enough to think that we could actually team up. You know? Take down the games and whoever was behind them. I liked you. And I liked to think that. But now I realize just how wrong I was." I whispered, turning away from him as I spoke. Yet I still felt his eyes on me. "And boy was I wrong. You will never change. You like the monstrous things that you are doing."
"How do you think I got to where I am now?"
"I don't fucking care." I spat at him as I turned to look at him again, his expression unreadable. "I don't care how you became their dog. I just want you to bring me your master."
He looked down, sighing as he cracked his neck, gun still in his hold. After a while he spoke again.
"I used to work in the games when I was younger. I removed and burned the bodies of countless people like you."
He was the pink guard once.
"'These things aren't human. They're just trash utterly useless in this world.' I kept telling myself that and worked hard for a few years." He spoke, suddenly smiling again. "Then they gave me a gun."
The triangle guard.
"It felt pretty good." He said as he lifted up his gun, examining it. "Like my existence was acknowledged for the first time in my life. I don't know which year it was, but one day, I was about to shoot a man who had lost a game. The guy seemed familiar. Guess who it was."
I kept quiet.
"My dad." He finally said. "My dad was suddenly standing in front of me. He was in tears, desperately begging me to spare his life."
He suddenly moved his hand, placing the gun in front of my forehead, but his suddenly, quick movement did not startle me one bit. I was used to it.
"I shot him right in the middle of his forehead, and realized, 'Ah. I'm cut out for this job.'"
He was looking straight at me, his dark eyes mad. I narrowed mine at him. Was I supposed to feel sorry for him? Maybe, but I didn't. Not only did he enjoy it, but he also has no idea how it was like for me. All the things Gi-hun and I went through. All of people we lost along the way... Ali... Sae-byeok... Sang-woo...
"Whether you shoot people in there or con them outside, it doesn't change anything." I said, slowly leaning over towards him. "You have always been nothing more than their dog."
He clicked his gun, putting his finger on the trigger, his expression darkening.
"Miss." He started, his hand shaking slightly as I kept completely still. "Do you think you're special because you won the game?"
I said nothing. My expectation still as I leaned forward just a bit more, pressing my forehead directly on his gun. His dark expression broke into one of shock.
"Someone like you could never know or understand how I made it out of there alive. And how it feels to play the games."
Suddenly, he pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. My expression barely changed, yet I could he on his face that my eyes old him every. Shock, disappointment and sadness.
He sighed before leaning over to me on the table that until now kept us at a distance. He was quiet for a while. I suppose he has always been that way.
"Let's play a game." He smiled at me.
I didn't say anything. He pulled out his phone and placed it on the table, letting a song play.
Time to say goodbye.
He leaned back against the seat as he lifted up his gun.
"I'm sure you've seen this in the movies." He started to explain, never breaking eye contact with me. "It's called Russian Roulette."
Motherfucker.
"Usually, you place one bullet in the gun, spin the cylinder, and pull the trigger." He said, clicking the gun in its place before pulling the trigger, explaining the game as he showed me what to do. "And before the next round, you spin the cylinder again. It rests the odds back to 1 in 6."
"I know." I mumbled and he smiled.
"But I'd like to make this game a little more serious." He smirked. "Because you're truly special, love."
"Cut to the chase." I glared at him and his stupid antics. He blinked at me and continued.
"We'll take turns pulling the trigger without spinning the cylinder again. The bullet will be fired within six attempts, and the game will be over." He paused. "What do you say?"
"Spin the gun." I frowned.
He smirked before gently placing the gun on the table. This could end badly on both sides, but for a moment, I found myself being selfish. Maybe, just maybe, if I lost this game after everything I went through, I could die and find peace with the people I lost. I could join them and leave with the feelings I have for him, that he possibly realized, unsaid. I could finally end it all. The night terrors, the time I spent searching for him, my cigarette addiction, mourning what I lost and what I couldn't have, yet at the same time not enjoying the money I got form the games. Who could enjoy that? Who could possibly enjoy living the life that I live.
He spinned the gun, and its tip pointed at me. Without a second thought, I took the gun and placed it by the side of my head. A few seconds later, not looking away from him, I pulled the trigger. Noting happened. That chamber was empty.
I put the gun on the table. I barely had time to move my hand before he took the gun, placed it by his head just like I did and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. He sighed in content as he placed the gun back on the table, smiling at me almost lovingly. I knew.
I took the gun and placed it by my head again, but before I could just pull the trigger he spoke up.
"I've always wondered how you made it out of there alive." He smiled before he laughed a little. "For, one thing, you were even terrible at ddakji."
I said nothing, glaring at him. I pulled the trigger. Nothing happened once again.
He looked at me, impressed by my luck so far. I looked him straight in the eyes as I threw the gun on the table. It slid over on the other side, right in front of me.
He took the gun after he took a moment to just look at me. Not breaking eye contact, he took the gun. Leaned over to me until he was basically touching me, pointing the gun at me. Then he did something that I did not expect at all. He put the gun in his mouth.
Motherfucker.
He pulled the trigger. I winced a little. Nothing again. He laughed at my expression as I tried my hardest to keep myself composed. He slowly took the gun out of his mouth before sitting back, putting the gun back on the table.
I took the gun and as I was about to place it by my head he spoke up again.
"What's the matter?" He asked me, raising his eyebrows. "Is your mind starting to race?"
I scoffed slightly.
Motherfucker.
"Now your odds of death are 1 in 2." He nodded. "That's pretty high indeed. I'm sure you're afraid, darling. Lots going through your mind."
I said nothing.
"Let me guess what you're thinking right now." Motherfucker. "'The gun is in my hand. Screw the rules. Pull the trigger once or twice, and I can blow his face off.' Isn't that right?"
I kept looking at him, glaring as I did. All while he spoke. "If you and Gi-hun want to meet the person you mentioned earlier, the key is in my pocket." At that I allowed my eyes to travel all over him. "You can simply shoot me with that gun and take it. But I'll have you admit one thing."
He took a moment to pause, my hand still holding the gun by my head. He leaned over once again.
"That you're a piece of trash, just like Gi-hun, just like everyone else that was in the games." He leaned over more closely, our lips practically touching as he spoke. "A piece of trash who got lucky and made it out of the dumpster."
He laughed as I pressed the gun against my head, our lips barely an inch away from each other's. This was it, I thought to myself. This round will determine if I live or die. I tightened the grip on the gun, my knuckles turning white again. I pulled the trigger.
Nothing happened.
He looked at me, then at the gun and then back at me. I started to chuckle lowly, like a maniac. Perhaps I was one. I watched his face closely as I pulled the gun away from my head. The grip on the gun still tight as I pointed it at his chin before slowly opening up my palm, waiting on him to take the final, real shot.
His hand touched mine. I felt him and myself freeze at the contact as he took the gun from my hand. I pulled my hand away as he looked at the gun.
"What's the matter?" I taunted him, my face mirroring the smirk that he always wears. "Is your mind starting to race?"
He said nothing as I spoke to him.
"That's right. Screw the rules. Now, with a single pull of the trigger, you could kill me." He looked pale at my words. "But... before you leave me forever this time. I'll have you admit two things."
He looked at me as I brought my hand at his cheek, wiping a little bit of blood on his face.
"You put a mask on your face and do whatever your master says. You run, bark, and wave your tail for them. You're nothing more than their dog." I told him before my voice became gentle.
He waited on me, his eyes soft.
"And regarding this." I said as I waved my hand slightly between the two of us. "You really are a dog. A dog that loves me. And... perhaps I am a fool, too. Because I love a dog that could've made it all work out for us but was too much of a coward to do so."
I leaned over to him, my hand landing under his chin, holding him.
"Admit it." I whispered as we looked each other in the eyes. "Admit that you love me, that you did ever since you gave me that fucking card."
For a moment, there was silence. His tortured eyes, looking at me. I knew. I always did. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, for a moment. This would be the last time that I spoke to him, that I could look into his eyes.
"I love you." He whispered.
All of a sudden, there was a loud sound followed by blood spraying my face as his body fell backward.
I stood up and walked over to him. I don't know how long I stood there, but after a while, I felt a tear sliding down my cheek. My hand touched my cheek as I whipped it away.
Motherfucker.
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wriokitty ¡ 2 months ago
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content includes: female reader, drunk reader + mentions of alcohol, modern + non curse au sukuna, established relationship, unnamed friends, reader makes one (1) dick sucking joke, reader dips fries into shakes because she’s elite like that, he carries reader
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It’s half past midnight when he comes to pick you up. Your face sours as soon as you see him, taking an instinctive step back.
“Nuh uh,” you say, wagging a finger back and forth in his face as he scowls. “It’s girl’s night. No men allowed—we’ve been over this!”
“As if I wanna join your stupid girl’s night,” he scoffs. Sukuna is tired. (Of you). It’s too late at night to be worrying about what ditch you’re going to end yourself up in after lord knows how many drinks, so regrettably, he takes matters into his own hands.
It’s a good thing he does, too, he thinks with a flare of his nostril as he eyes the drunk, mess of a woman that’s supposed to be your ride home. Designated driver my ass, he all but grumbles under his breath.
“Hey—” he looks over to the side with an irritated flick of his eyes as a hand smacks his shoulder. Your friend (in not better condition than you) levels him with a snarky look before she hisses, “You heard her! It’s girl’s night. Go away.”
Sukuna ignores her—because, well, that’s what he always does anyway. She talks far too much to be considered a normal amount, and he doesn’t like the shrill sound of her voice. Instead, he turns to you, gives you a firm, scolding look before he grunts, “We are going home. Now.”
You seem to catch onto the stern tone of his voice because within seconds, you’re slumping against him as you whine, “Fine,” with a pout. “Mean.”
“Yeah?” He snorts, “You know what’s meaner? Nasty men who find girls passed out in the middle of the streets. Now let’s go. We’re going home—all of you.”
A chorus of whines and petty insults makes him want to grab a drink himself—being inebriated seems like the only way your friends are tolerable, but as annoying as they are, he refuses to leave them here wasted.
So he does the noble thing, and sacrifices his ear drums as they play whatever stupid pop song is trending on the radio at full volume down the streets, heads sticking out of the windows and screaming the lyrics out to innocent passerby’s.
Sukuna is just a guy. Not the best, most chivalrous or charitable guy, maybe—but just a guy, all the same. He’s not done anything wrong to deserve this torture. He’s been nothing but a kind (usually) boyfriend that loves you unconditionally (most of the time), supports you wholeheartedly (when it suits him), listens to your problems (if he’s in the mood), and makes you feel special (as long as it doesn’t inconvenience him).
Still, he’s stuck basically being an uber driver—for free, no less—to your ungrateful, bratty, obnoxious friends that aren’t pretty enough to enjoy your company in the first place. They don’t even thank him when they get out as he drops them off one by one to their homes, opting to say goodbye to you as if you’re the one who pays for the gas in his car.
Finally, the last of your friends (who he likes to consider nuisances) leaves, freeing him of anymore radio pop songs and unnaturally loud giggles.
He grumbles as you ask, “Can we get milkshakes?”
“No.”
“Please?” You whine, “I want strawberry.”
“That’s great,” he says sarcastically, “The answer’s still no.”
“Please, please, please, Kuna? I’ll suck your dick on the drive there—”
“Jesus, what’s the matter with you?” He hisses, fighting back flushed cheeks as he glares at you once the car rolls to a stop at a red light.
Usually, he’s the one making such lewd comments and getting under your skin—but lacking in sobriety is seriously forcing the two of you to switch roles. He’s starting to wonder if maybe he should be nicer to you—you deal with a lot. (Not that he’s mean. He considers himself a pretty generous boyfriend).
“I’ll even pay,” you offer.
“You didn’t bring a wallet, so it looks like I’ll have to pay,” he says blandly.
You grin, giving him an innocent smile as you excitedly ask, “So that’s a yes?”
“Are you going to be quiet if I say yes?” He clicks his teeth in thinly-veiled irritation.
You grin, nodding enthusiastically.
Well, he thinks bitterly, so much for no more pit stops.
It’s not long until he’s pulling into the drive-thru of the nearest fast food joint, rolling his window down to order your stupid, late night request.
“We’ll take one strawberry milkshake, please,” he says gruffly.
“Anything else?” Comes the tired reply of whoever is taking his order.
“No—”
“And large fries, please!” You lean over him to shout out the window and make sure the poor worker hears you. Sukuna glares, (gently) pushing you back into your seat as he hisses, “Put your seatbelt on! And you asked for a milkshake, not a damn meal.”
“Fries aren’t a meal,” you huff, “And they’re good dipped in the shake. You can’t have one without the other.”
“No—”
“I’ll scream that I’m being kidnapped,” you warn, “I want my fries.”
“Fucking fine,” he throws his hands up, exasperatedly caving to your request because, yeah, having some drunk, half-conscious woman in his front seat screaming bloody murder about being abducted at two a.m. is not a good look to a stranger that doesn’t know any better. “One strawberry milkshake and large fucking fries and that’s it,” he growls to the other person through the drive-thru speaker.
It’s not the poor employee’s fault, and he knows it, but he’s too tired and sleep-deprived to care about his snarky attitude.
“It’ll be ready at the window,” the man speaks tiredly, completely unphased.
“Yay!” You squeal.
It’s a pretty bothersome task to have to stop the car five minutes after receiving the food just to open the lid of your cup for you so that you can dip your fries into your milkshake easier, but he figures it’s better than a tiring drive home. Or worse, a spill all over his car seats at your own attempt.
He glances over at you wearily as he finally (hopefully) starts to drive home, watching as you dip your french fries into your frozen drink and happily eat away. He crinkles his eyes at the combination.
He’ll never understand people’s unnatural obsession with pairing anything remotely salty and sweet together.
“My friends think you’re weird,” you hum, taking a handful of fries to your mouth as you say between chewing, “They say you’re intense. Like, scary intense. But I told them, that’s just his face.”
Finally, a small smile cracks on his face, breaking through the grumpy, tired exterior. He snorts, shaking his head. “Drunk you has way too much to say.”
“Drunk me is honest,” you retort, clutching your fries to your chest as you huff, “Now I’m not sharing my fries anymore.”
“You weren’t going to anyway,” he rolls his eyes.
Finally, his car pulls into a familiar parking spot, just outside of your shared home as he parks and turns to you. You giggle at him before humming, “How’d you know?”
“Because you never do,” he rolls his eyes.
“That’s because this relationship is 50/50! You buy the food, and I eat it.”
“Yeah?” He snorts, shaking his head—still, there’s something endearing about the way you clutch your fries close to your chest, as if guarding them with your life. He leans over, snatching one easily anyway, smirking in amusement when you gasp and pout at the gesture.
“Hey! That’s mine!”
“Yeah, whatever,” he grunts, fighting back a fond grin before he asks, “Let’s go. We’re going in.”
With that, he comes around to your side of the car, pulling you out and hoisting you up to carry you bridal style as he marches over to the front door. Sighing happily, you admire his face as he walks.
“Thanks,” you murmur.
He raises a brow, mildly shocked. “For?”
“For bringing me home. Same time next week?”
He chuckles, pressing a soft, affectionate kiss to your forehead. “Absolutely not. No more girl’s nights with those shit shows.”
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