#went thru old pictures with my sister to find things of my uncle

[orcelito]

Finally doing some emotional processing ✌

[loserholland]

𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞

 𝟎𝟏𝟔 ➺  𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐧��𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Pairing ➺  Ceo playboy!Ben Hardy x Reader

Warning ➺ nsfw towards the end of the chap, choking!kink, breeding!kink

Word Count ➺ 3,187

Summary ➺ An arranged marriage between two polar opposites.

A/N ➺ One more chapters and the series will be complete! I will be doing a thank you/q&a video once I’m done writing the series, so if you have questions please send them in! They don’t have to be Elite related questions! We’ve come to the end wow one more chapter well the epilogue and this series will be complete! Also sprinkled some game of thrones into the chapter because I’ve been obsessed and I’m on season 3 ep 2! I also apologize for the LONG delay.

Send me your thoughts, feelings, everything! It makes me day/night!

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ -  @hollandfieldblurbs , @beerbottlesandchainsaws , @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine​, @spideyyypeter

❁ 𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ❁ - @financialinstability, @magicwithaknife , @xrumkugelx , @rogertaylorsblondhair, @virtualsheepeat, @hollyissuchahoe , @yourkindabrainy-ilikeit, @fsociety00da1, @lee-519 , @2ptonpt, @sherlokiantheatrenerd , @local-radical-bandit , @calumfornicationx , @softcillian, @kittysblog14 , @peach-barnes , @prettyoddbarnes  , @spideyyypeter, @adepressedstudentslife , @wowza-bowza , @stilesneedsprotection , @anamcg317 , @indescribxbl , @heinz-doofenshmirtz-official , @loveofmylifeben , @captainxmoony , @whateverbakesyourcake , @waving-thru-a-window , @benhrdy , @beerbottlesandchainsaws , @frietjemeloen , @kirket03 , @emmieliabedelia , @sabbrriiinnaa , @justinemayi , @bummmblebeee , @wolverinesbeer , @allieburakovsky , @chocolatekisses8 @i-the-fangirl, @ksqueenie, @secretsweetscollectionblog, @luvborhap

☞  Masterlist  ☜

-

Can't say how the days will unfold, Can't change what the future may hold

Three years had gone by, during those wonderful 36 months a child was brought into the world. Before any of you question who’s child, Presely had gave birth to a beautiful baby boy names Boston. Now here stands (Y/N) holding her two year old nephew in her arms as she beside her sister who was currently going to marry Joe. (Y/N) scanned the crowd smiling as she caught Ben’s eye, the two have been taking things slow enjoying each other’s company, they weren’t in a rush to get married just yet.

But, I want you in it Every hour, every minute

It took a while for Ben to come to the realization that he wanted (Y/N) to be in his life forever. He thought that he could never fall in love again. He thought that if he fell in love again it would and slowly bring down the walls he had built up history would repeat itself. He was scared to show how vulnerable he could be. The moment she walked out of his life, it was as if time stopped an everything in his life came to a stop. 

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Everyone cheered standing to their feet as the happy newly weds walked down the aisle together. (Y/N) followed closely with her nephew in her arms, flashing a smile at Ben before continuing down the isle.

The two had just came home from dinner and a stroll in central park. They had no intentions on rushing things but to take things slow to make up for the past two years.

“I’ve missed this.. I’ve missed you.” Ben murmured causing (Y/N) to lift her head slightly looking up into those beautiful emerald eyes. The two were tangled in each other’s embrace as the moonlight brought a glow into (Y/N) room.

(Y/N) hummed leaning up to place a chaste kiss on Ben’s plump pink lips, “It was quite lonely to watch game of thrones without you asking questions every five minutes.” Ben rolled his eyes playfully and let out a dry chuckle “Well, I’d like to catch up on what has happened thank you very much.”

Ben had proposed a year after they were dating again but they had agreed to not rush the wedding.

This world can race by far too fast Hard to see while it's all flying past

Boston whined leaning forward towards Ben causing (Y/N) to pout “Boston! You want uncle Benny over me?!” Ben brought him into his arms as Boston played with his tie. Everyone patiently waited outside waiting for their turn to take a picture with the newly weds, Joe’s family stood on the steps as the rest of Presley’s family waited. 

Ben swayed Boston from side to side as (Y/N) stood beside Ben resting her head on his shoulder “Boston bud, I think you made your aunty (Y/N) very sad.” (Y/N) lifted her head from her fiance shoulder pouting at the two year old that just giggled. 

“Boston bub!” Presley called out needing Boston in the photo. Ben slowly set Boston down on his feet as he walked over towards his parents as the rest of the family watched in awe. 

Kids.

Both (Y/N) and Ben couldn’t wait to have kids that was they never touched on the subject but Ben could see the gleam in her eyes when she would play with Boston. Or when she’d spoil him with many clothes that he’d outgrow and buy any toy he touched. He knew that when they had kids, he hops they have their mother’s golden heart.

All I want to do Is come running home to you

(Y/N) walked up to the stage tapping on the mic slowly bringing the chatter down, it was time to give her maid of honor speech. She had spent many months worrying about what she had to say. Every time she sat down to write something her mind went blank, so now here she stands unsure of where to start. 

“Friends, family I’d like to thank you for helping us celebrate the newly weds Presley and Joe Mazzello. I’d also like to thank Presley for choosing me to be her maid of honor. I’d also like to thank her for many memories, I know there was a time when we lost contact and were never close but I’d like to thank you for staying up with me during those stormy night’s. Thank you for giving me a beautiful nephew whom I love and cherish so much. I wish you and Joe nothing but happiness. Also give me more nieces and nephews. Now raise your glass for Mr and Mrs. Mazzello.”

Come running home to you And all my life I promise to

"So when’s the wedding?” 

Oh the questioned she dreaded, anytime someone asked her that question she never really had a response to it. Only because her and Ben never got around to talking about the date and where it would be. 

“Maybe next year.” (Y/N) answered smiling between her aunts that stood in front of her, she knew the next question a typical question they always asked.

“Have you two thought about having kids? I know that you two will make some beautiful children.” she smiled sweetly looking over at Ben to come and rescue her. 

Though that didn’t help the situation at all, they continued to ask even more question even though Ben had asked if they could excuse us to dance. The reception slowly came to an end as everyone began to say their goodbyes, and that was (Y/N) queue to leave. 

(Y/N) walked over to Presley who held a sleeping two year old in her arms, they would be babysitting Boston for the next two and a half weeks due to Presley and Joe going on their honeymoon to Europe.

“I will see this little guy tomorrow morning, goodnight Mr and Mrs.Mazzello.”

Keep running home to you Keep running home

There was a small knock at the door causing (Y/N) to quickly walk over opening the door to see her Presley with Boston in her arms.

“Hi bubba! We’re gonna have so much fun!” (Y/N) gladly took Boston into her arms pressing many kisses to his chubby cheeks. She loved her nephew with all her heart, the more time she spent with Boston made her want kids of her own. 

(Y/N) gave Presley one last hug before slowly pulling away as she pointed her index finger at her older sister, “I expect to hear that you’re pregnant when you get back.” 

Presley laughed at her sister’s remark, “Alright alright, bye my little love I’ll see you soon be good to your aunty (Y/N)” Boston nodded twisting and turning to be let down wanting nothing more but to play with his toys.

Ben had just came home from meeting with a New York based company all he wanted to do was lay in bed with (Y/N) just to be in her embrace. He unlocked the door to her condo kicking off his shoes and tugging at his tie, his blazer was long gone leaving him with his white dress shirt. 

“(Y/N)? Love?” Ben called out as he walked into the living room to see Boston cuddled up to (Y/N). His eyes softened, it was in that moment he was ready to marry (Y/N). He was ready to start a family with her, in that moment he knew that she would be the person he’d want to come home to.

To you

Ben hadn’t told her yet, he hadn’t told her that they should start setting a date, have her look at dresses, he wanted to find the right moment. The three were having a picnic at Central Park, Boston giggled as (Y/N) blew some bubbles.

“More!” he shouted as he reached up in the air attempting to pop the bubbles before they floated away. Ben loved the way (Y/N) interacted with Boston, soon his mind began to wander about if she’d be the same way with their kids. His train of thought came to a halt as an elderly couple began to talk to (Y/N).

“Your son is beautiful.” the woman spoke causing (Y/N) to smile widely, “Thank you but he’s my nephew.” the woman quickly apologized which caused (Y//N) to reassure her that it happen’s often. When that would happen there was something inside her that made her want to have children of her own so she could say yes instead of no, or he’s my nephew.

And I could see it Right from the start

Ben sat on their shared bed waiting for (Y/N) as she went to put Boston to rest. He began to mumble what he wanted to say staring at his lap as his fingers were interlocked, he didn’t even notice (Y/N) walk in. He was so deep in thought.

“Ben?”

No answer.

“Bub?”

Still no answer.

“Benjamin Jones.”

Immediately Ben looked up to see (Y/N) standing in front of him with concern in her eyes, she slowly walked over to him wrapping her arms around his neck as he snacked his arms around her waist resting his head against her chest.

“What’s wrong bub?” her voice was soft and soothing causing Ben to relax, he pulled away to look up at her.

It was now or never.

“I-I think we should start setting a date.. for the wedding. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot and when you interact with Boston. It makes me wonder what you’d be like with our kids- that’s if you want kids! If you don’t, I understand, I do really since you’ll be the one carrying the baby and I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want to do! I also understand if you’re not ready to get married yet, I’ll wait take all the-”

(Y/N) leaned down kissing him sweetly to stop him from blabbering even more. Slowly she pulled away with a smile, running her fingers through his blonde locks.

“You talk too much,” she started causing Ben to roll his eyes jokingly.

“-I’m ready. To start looking at venues, churches, dresses. I’m ready to marry you Benjamin Jones. Also I’d love to have kids with you, I mean my aunt’s did say we’d make beautiful kids.” Ben smiled, pulling her into another hug.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

Ben watched as his soon to be wife walked down the aisle, his heart fluttered as tear began to blur his vision. He allowed the tears to fall, as he remembered the first time they met. Who would’ve thought the most sweetest girl in the world could love him and give him another chance after everything he did?

Right from the start That you would be Be my light in the dark Light in the dark

(Y/N) was the one to help him love again, to show him no matter how bad things got she was there to guide him and was at his side when he felt lost. When they had called of their engagement, he felt lost without her, it was as if he was stuck in a dark pit no light to guide him to the opening.

Oh, you gave me no other choice But to love you

He was afraid to love again, he had thought this would be just an arranged marriage with no love. But overtime he began to love her, his heart and mind at war with one another scared to allow himself to love her again. 

All I want to do Is come running home to you

“(Y/N), you are the light in my life. No matter how hard and bad things get you’re there to guide me. When we had called off our first engagement I didn’t have you to guide be, to be there at my side to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. I was lucky enough that you found it somewhere in your heart to give me another chance which I will be eternally grateful for. Someone once said, home is the person or place you want to return to over and over. Your my home. All I want to do at the end of the day is come home to you. Even after a fight, it will always be you. No matter the circumstances, I want to come home to you and only you.”

Come running home to you And all my life I promise to

“Benjamin Jones, the day we met I knew I wasn’t going to like you. Though I tried because if we were going to be married though it was originally arranged I wanted it to be meaningful even if it meant our marriage would be one-sided love. Slowly after every date, every moment we spent together. I grew to love you. I was afraid to admit it, I was afraid that you wouldn’t love me the way I loved you. The first time you had told me you loved me was during our first fight. When we broke off our first engagement I didn’t know what to do without you. I held onto hope that one day, we’d find our way back to each other. Even if it took months, or years we’d find our way back to one another.I love you with all my heart Benjamin Jones.”

Keep running home to you Keep running home

“Do you Benjamin Jones, take (Y/N) (Y/L/N) to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

Home to you

“Do you (Y/N) (Y/L/N), take Benjamin Jones to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Can't say how the days will unfold Can't change what the future may hold

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”

But, I want you in it Every hour, every minute

Alexa had surprised them with a jet ready to take off to Bora Bora for their honeymoon. She had also packed many, many different colored lingeries with a note that read ‘Make me some grandbabies!’.

The newly weds spent most of the first few days exploring Bora Bora it a good thing (Y/N) knew some French though many of the signs included english, she thought it would be more efficient to communicate in french.

-

(Y/N) looked at herself once more before wrapping a satin robe around her body, she walked out to see Ben sat upright against the headboard looking over his laptop with his reading glasses sitting on the tip of his nose. 

“Ben?”

She spoke softly but loud enough to pull Ben’s attention away from the screen in front of him, she slowly walked over to him causing Ben to place his laptop and glasses on the nightstand beside him. (Y/N) let the robe fall to the ground, revealing a beautiful white lace piece Ben truly felt like he had gone to heaven at the beautiful sight of his wife.

“I’ve gone to heaven haven’t I?”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but giggle after her husband’s remark, she straddled Ben’s lap wrapping her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist leaning up to attach his lips to her neck.

“Not quite yet my love.”

She pulled away from to place her lips on his, slow yet passionate as their hands roamed over one another’s body. (Y/N) tugged slightly at Ben’s hair causing him to moan softly allowing their tongues to dance against one another. She began to roll her hips into his feeling his shaft harder against her inner thigh.

Ben pulled away to pepper kisses down her neck to the valley of her breast as (Y/N) worked to get it undone. Tonight she wanted to be the one in charge, there will be many other nights when Ben could be in control. But just for tonight.

“Let me be in control tonight. Just for tonight.” (Y/N) said breathlessly watching as Ben’s eyes filled with lust, “Anything for you my love.” 

(Y/N) stood up for a moment removing the lace material from her body then moved to remove Ben’s boxer’s. She took his hard shaft into her hand pumping it lightly as Ben threw his head back, she moved back to straddle him lining herself up before slowly sinking down onto his shaft.

Ben hand rest on her hips as he watched her adjust for a moment before moving her hips in a circular motion bringing a new feeling she hadn’t felt before. (Y/N) rest her hands atop Ben’s broad chest letting out a airy moan as she began to bounce up and down Ben’s eyes glued to her chest, one of his hands moved to touch them only to receive a slap.

“No, keep your hands on my waist baby. Who’s in control tonight?” (Y/N) cooed as she moved one of her hands to the side of Ben’s face.

All Ben could do was nod, causing her to stop and Ben to let out a groan.

“Words baby, use your words and maybe I’ll continue to fuck you.”

Oh those sweet words should be falling from his mouth, but the way she was speaking to him didn’t have him complaining.

“You’re in charge love.”

(Y/N) hummed in approval continuing her actions leaning forward to place a kiss on his sweet lips, she was enjoying this. Being in charge, giving Ben a taste of his own medicine. She could see it in his eyes, he enjoyed it too. Maybe this won’t turn into a one time thing.

Her hands moved to wrap around his neck squeezing it lightly as she clenched around him causing her to moan loudly as his eyes rolled back to the beautiful pleasure his wife was giving him. She could feel the knot in her stomach tighten, the pleasure and sight of Ben beneath her edged her to her climax.

“Do you enjoy me choking you baby?” (Y/N) cooed as Ben let out a throaty moan, ah I take that as a yes. 

She released the pressure from his neck and placed her hands grabbed his hands from her waist intwining their hands together, “Are you close baby?” Ben nodded trying his best to use his voice “Yes love.” (Y/N) moaned as she clenched around him.

“C’mon baby.”

Ben groaned lightly, “Let me cum love please, let me fill you up have your carry my child. Have you carrying all of my children, c’mon lovely.” (Y/N) let out a throaty scream her entire body felt like it was on fire, Ben followed closely behind her. He helped her ride out her orgasm, before she slowly rolled off of him.

They laid their for a moment, regaining their breathe before Ben spoke.

“We definitely need to do that again.” (Y/N) smiled turning to face Ben before kissing him sweetly.

“We have all the time in the world.”

Ben smiled pressing a kiss to her nose before pulling her closer to his chest, “I love you Mrs.Jones.” (Y/N) smiled pressing a small kiss to his chest.

“I love you Mr.Jones.”

[secret-rendezvous1d]

D E C E M B E R  4 T H

REQUEST What if the missus gives Harry a gift on December 1st and it’s like an advent calendar but each day is a new position/place to have sex up until Christmas.

This is quite a short little something; I apologise. 

I didn’t have too much time to write this one properly and I’ve got a few busy days coming up so I need to write a lot of other stories  for Blogmas so that I can post them on a queue without needing to be here - there may a chance that a few more of the stories will be short and sweet but straight to the point in what was requested. 

My mobile masterlist also unlinked all my links so I’ve got that to work on, too, so I’m all a bit rushed around. There will be a new masterlist coming that you will be able to access as soon as possible; you just need to bear with me on that.

Feedback is welcomed, as always - please let me know what you think of my pieces, send me any constructive criticism you think would help out, any ways to make my writing better, anything. It really helps me and keeps me motivated to write and we get to work as a team to make things better, for me to write and for you to read.

Enjoy! x

D e c e m b e r  1 s t  2 0 1 8.

The sweet smell of cinnamon filled the air.

And there was a distinct smell of fragrant dates and fruity currants and a thick scent of rum that had been mixed together in a bowl, baked in the oven and laid to rest underneath a thick and white-fondant marzipan, packing in a tin and ready to be devoured on Christmas Day with cream or custard. Every moment he took a deep inhale, his belly seemed to rumble from just how gorgeous their home smelt.

This time of the year was his favourite time of the year; it always had been, ever since he was a little boy and old enough to understand what the spirit of Christmas was and just who Santa Claus was to the world. He loved when the weather got colder and he could bundle up in warm jumpers and wear woollen socks around the house to keep his toes warm, without someone commenting on why the hell he was dressed so warmly; when the nights got longer and the sun set in the afternoon and gave the atmosphere a certain darkness that was dark enough for people see the Christmas lights decorating the high streets; it made him feel feel so warm and cosy and brought out the best in him; the weather made him feel happy and excited to be able to spoil his loved ones with gifts that showed his affection. And when it came to his wife, he loved that he could spoil her with all of his love and all of his affection and he could give her any length and any type of cuddle during the day and could have all the intimacy, in the world, that always seemed to spike when this time of year came around - the cold always did something to their hormones... but they weren’t complaining. Christmas meant he was surrounded by his friends and his family, Jeffrey gave him weeks off of work to be there in the cold heart of London, and he loved that he could take advantage of that.

Time off meant he could do the things he had always dreamed of doing with a partner, for his own home, to celebrate the holiday that they were planning to spend together. Christmas-tree shopping in garden centres and taking the tube to see the lights of Oxford Street whilst doing some window-shopping along the way, jumping in the car and singing Christmas songs on the drive to a 24-hour drive-thru that they had been craving and hopping on a train to head down to Surrey so they could spend time with the ones they didn’t see so much and could devour a roast with his aunt and uncle, gathering with their friends and hitting Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland for the night... with a busy schedule all year around, it felt nice to have the end of year to recuperate.

Evie purred on his lap as he nudged the tips of his fingers into the top of her head, rough but gentle enough, as the feline idly smiled with delight. Her tiny, black and white paws pawing at the polyester of his plaid pyjama bottoms and her claws catching the threads as she pushed against his thighs to find a comfier position; her ears twitching every so often when the tinkle of bells filled the silent living room, after having echoed around the kitchen, from a radio station that YN had switched on to use as background noise whilst baking a variety festive goods. Her whiskers tickling the underside of his wrist before she curled up in the dip where his thighs met. Socked feet kicked up on the arm, slippers kicked off and paired together underneath the coffee table, and the blanket, that was previously tucked up around his body to keep him warm, was thrown over the back of the sofa.

“Surprised you’re not out in the kitchen with your mum whilst she’s got all the food out. Forever trying to nick the currants from my porridge in the mornings, little lady,” he hummed, catching Evie’s drowsy face, giving her head a blurring shake before resting her chin on the pudge of his stomach, “did you just fancy a cuddle with daddy, huh? Fancied watching the telly? Or are you here because I give you too much fuss? You’re a spoilt little darling. Spent far too long with your Nana Anne, haven’t you? Whilst mummy and daddy were off travelling the world on tour. Demanding lots of love.”

“Will you stop talking to the cat? She won’t ever respond,” he heard from the room adjacent to him, a hint of a smile in her voice, and he dragged a curled finger down the cheek of Evie’s furry face, “and, now that you’re awake and no longer milking how tired you are, will you come and help me with this? It’s difficult to take photos along the way and I can’t keep switching between mixing and kneading and taking photos. My camera is getting all mucky. You’ll have to buy me a new one for Christmas.”

“Would you be so upset if I said that Elf has just started and that I want to watch it so badly because I’ve been looking forward to December for this exact moment?” His attention drifted to the television screen that brought up a scene of Will Ferrell dressed in a bright green elf-costume, with yellow accents, and looking to be the tallest in a situation that he just he didn’t belong in amongst the other of Santa’s helpers; it had been his favourite film for as long as he could remember. One that he liked to curl up and watch when his school day had finished, eating a fresh batch of muffins that his mother had made during the morning. One that he liked to watch with his sister on Christmas Eve whilst drinking hot chocolates and chucking marshmallows at one another as the quoted the most iconic lines. One that he could recite off by heart and would drive his father insane because he just couldn’t help himself. And it was the one film that he wanted to show off to his children in the future - to sit down with his wife and his own children and eat treats that they made and drink hot chocolates, together and as a whole family, as they snuggled beneath a blanket and sat before the fire... and to know that YN, who was once the girlfriend that he had willingly shared the tiny glimpse of their possible future, loved the film almost as much as he did. “You know how much I love this film.”

“You know how much I love Elf, too,” he heard her huff, “why can’t we record it and then watch it later on? When we’re not doing anything and get to be lazy? We can order in a takeaway pizza and then drink hot chocolates with the tiny marshmallows that I have left over.”

“Can we eat whatever you’re making?”

The house had fallen silent and he only realised once he heard her slippers scuff along the floor, brushing her hands on the front of her, already dusted with flour and the odd flecks of dough, apron. A picture of an elderly lady, with thin-rimmed glasses and grey hair, who identified herself as Mrs Claus, was printed on the front with the words ‘Have Your ‘Elf A Merry Christmas’ - which had made him chuckle when he saw it in the store and had thought of how she would enjoy the pun just as much as he did - in beautiful, candy-cane coloured script that arched above her head. Her upper body leaning over the back of the sofa.

“Not all of what I’ve been,” she grinned, “there is a lot that I’ve made since you’ve been asleep and we don’t need your dicky tummy playing havoc over the next week or two-” she have the side of his belly a pat and got a side-eye from Evie who looked displeased at being woken from her sleep. “-I’ve got one box for us to share and then the rest I’m going to give to my parents when we see them this weekend, your sister and Michal when they come round tomorrow for lunch, your aunt and uncle when we go to their Christmas party next week, and your mum to take home when she comes up in a few days.” She ran a sticky hand over his forehead and brushed his fringe away from his forehead, little amounts of flour catching between the strands. “You look very cosy.”

“I would feel a lot cosier if you took a break from whatever you were doing and came and cuddled with me. It’s cold, I’m tired and me and Evie want you to come and take some time out,” he looked down at the cat, who was now purring and sending tiny vibrations through his belly, “she would agree if she was awake.”

“I’m sure she would,” his wife giggled and brought her hand from Harry’s flushed forehead to Evie’s soft fur. Stroking the patch between her two ears and digging her fingertips into her skull; her purrs sounding so loud and vibrating through her body, toe-beans flexing as her way of showing how pleased she was, “give me a few minutes. I’ll get my last batch in and cool the one that is in the oven and then I’ll be in.”

“Could you make some tea and bring that in, too?” He asked and she scoffed at his cheekiness, pinching his nose as it scrunched up and brought his eyes to a squint, “please? Mine went cold when I fell asleep.”

“Fine,” she sighed, “make some room for me.” She spun around and walked back towards the kitchen, halting abruptly in her path and turning her upper body to look over her shoulder, shooting him one last statement before she went back to her baking. “Oh, I have an important present to give you later, by the way. Don’t let me forget.”

And god, he didn’t forget.

‘An important present’ was all she needed to say to him to make sure that her instruction, on not letting it go forgotten when she didn’t remember, was handled correctly.

Okay, he may have forgotten until later in the evening... but, hey, he still remembered!

Stretched out upon the sofa, his ankles rested on YN’s thighs, crossed and with feet clad in the warmest of socks (that had been a tradition to wear, on the first of December, every year), his attention diverting between the television and the book held in his hands. Glasses on the bridge of his nose. She was busy scrolling through her phone, casually sipping on a glass of wine, his own glass sitting on the coffee table and a distinct difference from the tea he’d been sipping on throughout the afternoon. On the telly, someone had exchanged a gift to another and that was what had prompted him to remind her.

“S’this important present you need to give me?”

She gasped and almost spat her gulp of wine, holding her glass under her chin as she looked him, eyes wide and her hand in a rush to push his feet away from her. The soles hitting the floor as he swung his body around and sat up, closing his book and dog-earing the page, placing it on the shelf beneath the glass top, upon a pile of magazines and newspapers.

“Christ, yes. I forgot,” she muttered, setting her wine glass on the table and standing to her feet, leaving her phone behind on the sofa cushion as she darted in the direction of the stairs, “thanks for reminding me!”

“Couldn’t forget,” he snorted.

Through the floorboards, and the ceiling above him, he could hear her enter their bedroom and have a quick rummage around something - that he presumed to be the vanity drawers... - to find what she had hidden away from him. Skilfully, of course, because he used those vanity drawers and had yet to stumble upon anything that looked out of place. A wrapped present definitely being on that list.

She was quick back down the flight of steps, with something rattling in her hand, and he slipped his glasses back up his nose. A grin, that he tried to diminish but couldn’t because he rather excited to see what she had, sitting on his red-painted lips, teeth having turned purple around the gums from drinking the wine they’d cracked open, as his green eyes watched her every move.

“Someone spoke about this in a problem-page in a magazine I read at the hairdressers the other week. It was a suggestion on how to have better sex, and I know that we have great sex and it’s always adventurous and we get up to a lot, but I liked the idea and I thought it would be something you’d want to try out,” she smiled. A big in length, thin in width box was held in her hands, her eyes holding nerves as he took it from her, “it’s an advent calendar. Just, not the usual kind of advent calendar you would expect. No chocolate in it or anything.”

“An advent calendar that isn’t chocolate?” He gawked in disbelief, the wiggling of his fingers apprehensive as they picked at the flap and pulled it from within the cardboard, “what kind of awful advent calendar did you buy me?”

“It’s not awful!” She cried out.

“It has no chocolate. It’s awful,” he teased. Her body collapsing to the space beside him, with a heavy huff being pushed out powerfully from her lungs, with a frown on her face and her arms folded over her chest. She tried not to watch him as he opened it; it definitely wasn’t an awful present, let alone an awful advent calendar, but he was teasing her and she had to show how ‘frustrated’ that made her. But she couldn’t help but let her vision hide in the corner of her eyes, watching him discreetly as he pushed the cardboard to the floor and set the calendar on his lap. “It’s just... plain?”

“Open number one.”

His finger dragged along each closed door as he read each bold number that his tip passed over, stumbling upon number one and wasting no time in breaking the seal and opening the flap. The word ‘cowgirl’ in black cursive sitting heavy on his tongue; what on earth was this advent calendar and why did YN buy it for him, knowing he would ‘like it’? His green eyes homed a look of confusion as he looked between the white cardboard and her intrigued face, looking curiously as him, watching the cogs turn in his head as he tried to figure out what the hell she had gifted to him.

“Wha-”

“It’s a sex advent calendar,” she clarified, sitting up and leaning forward, elbows resting upon her knees. A cheeky grin on her mouth as he let out a scoff and laughed, cheeks flushing pink and looking back at the word printed on the small, square-shaped door. “You open this up, every day, and it tells us what position we should have sex in. Sometimes we can never decide and,” she reached over and squeezed his knee, “this way, it decides for us.”

“Like some strange magic-8 ball that decides people’s choices?” He snorted.

“Exactly like that, yeah,” she nodded, giggling sweetly as he shook his head from side to side with absolute disbelief, “not such an awful present now, is it, hm?”

He placed it on the coffee table and slung his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to his chest and pressing an open-mouthed kiss to her temple, groaning happily into her ear before falling to the sofa cushion and squeezing her to his body. Her legs curled up and her knees collided with his chest as she hugged him back with a tight grip.

“I take back all that I said. The best early-Christmas present, ever.”

[perfectly-flawed-for-one-an-blog]

Let’s start from the very beginning

I was born in Indiana, and lived there with my parents and 2 older brothers until spring, right before I turned 5 years old. I don’t have a ton of memories, but enough to know I was happy there. We lived in a little neighborhood that had a lot of kids around my age and my mom babysat a few of them, so I know I had quite a few friends.

My brothers were quite a bit older than me, 6-1/2 and 8 years older. I don’t remember too much interaction with them when we lived in Indiana, which is a little weird I think... but then again, maybe it’s because they would always be playing at their friends’ houses, not ours? I guess the really weird thing is that I never realized this until I started writing this now. 

We moved to Ohio that summer I turned 5.  We moved in June and stayed with my Aunt & Uncle for a month until the house was ready. That’s probably the first time that I every really felt lonely.  I know I was only 5 yrs old, but we were in a strange place and my parents were busy getting the new house ready, or my dad was going to work at his new job and even though I had a play-mate with my cousin who was the same age, she did have her own friends that didn’t really want to share her, or want to play with me.  

When we finally did move into the house, I remember a girl coming to our house and asking my mom if her little girl could come out to play.  That was Lynn and she was my very first friend in Ohio.  Our street reminds me of the neighborhood we had lived in, there were a lot of kids my age again. It was great... until it was September and all of my friends went to school.  Boy did I want to go to school.  My mom wasn’t sure what to do and even talked to the school principle about it. She told my mom that she could always put me in and if I didn’t do well, take me out and start me the next year as she had planned.  So she did, and that is where we come to the first vivid memory I have of my brother Scott. Scott was in 6th grade and his class was being held after the bell and I was horrified because he wasn’t there to walk me home from school. I don’t remember how I got there, if the teacher walked me, or if I knew where his classroom was, but I found him and stood at his desk and balled my eyes out while he sat at his desk waiting to be released from class.  Poor guy... I wonder if he was teased by any of his friends for having his little sister hanging on his arm?  

Let’s just say that I was ready as far as knowing my ABC’s, but emotionally, I should have been held back, but hind sight is 20/20, right?

I’m sitting here thinking about a picture I might be able to put on this post of when I was that age and most of them will have me crying... I hated getting my picture taken by professionals.  I bet even back then I had anxiety. Hmmm...

School wasn’t super easy for me.  I believe I was dyslexic, but that wasn’t something that was diagnosed back in the 70′s and 80′s. I was very shy and didn’t have many friends.  I was one of the “chubby” kids, and probably got teased a lot, but I don’t remember much of it. Pretty sure I blocked it out.  I do remember not having many friends and when I was in 4th, 5th and 6th grades, my best friend was a girl that was 4 or 5 years younger than me. That’s one of the first memories I have of an adult saying something unkind. I don’t think I was supposed to hear it, but her mom didn’t want me swinging on their swing set because she was afraid I might break it because I was a big girl.  If you look back at pictures of me, I really wasn’t that big. Definitely not big enough to break a swing set - I don’t know what on earth would cause an adult to say such a thing like that, but again, I don’t think she said it to hurt me intentionally. 

Mom wanted me to join Girl Scouts, thinking that may help me make some good friends with girls in school.  I didn’t really want to, but I did it.  I hated it. The girls in my troop were, well, a mix of mean girls and nice, but already a clique that I wasn’t going to be included in.  Not to mention they were all the same girls I was in school with to begin with, so it was just yet more time to feel like an outsider. Again, other than the mean girls, it maybe wasn’t intentional.  But I was that weird girl that people probably didn’t understand was just wacky and fun.

Junior High School... the best 2 years of my child hood.  (for school anyway)  I loved all my teachers, I loved meeting all these new kids that didn’t know me from before to have any pre-existing notions of who/what I was. I could be me and just be happy.  I made new friends that I kept thru high school and I just really enjoyed my time there.  Well, except for one thing - that was the first time I ever had a teacher actually tell me I was never going to be good at something and to never pursue art.  I was crushed.  I loved art!  I still do & I’m actually quite crafty - I’m just not great with painting and if he could have explained to me that you don’t have to be a perfectionist, then I think I would have been MUCH better.  But, he never took the time to realize that’s why I was having so many problems in his class.

High School... Here is where my life finally spiraled out of control.  This is where the depression reared it’s ugly head.  It’s where I learned to truly hate school and use all of the 9 days I was allowed for sick days because I couldn’t bear going to school where I didn’t fit in.  I wasn’t the typical girl who was boy crazy and wanted to get drunk and find the next party.  I was super shy and nervous and always afraid of getting into trouble.  There are plenty of reasons for this, the top two would be that my brother John, who is 8 years older than me, was a recovering drug addict and my mom happened to be the president of the “Drug Awareness” program that was at the school.  And the second is that my brother Scott started teaching at the high school when I was a Junior and all the girls loved him. I went from being my own person to, Mr. Peterson’s sister.  Yah, that was fun.  

I’ll stop here for now.  I’ll go into more details with episodes of my depression during these years, but I wanted to give you a summary of how my childhood progressed.  

Until next time, remember - you are not alone. xoxo 

[musicalmukebox]

Let’s Get (Back) Together | l.h. (2B)

Ctto of the gifs!!

AU: Parent Trap Dad!Luke

Summary: A strong love which led to a strong marriage and twin daughters. Yet in the end, it didn’t turn out so well. You strongly refuse to encounter him ever again. But what happens when both of you coincidentally send your twin daughters to the same summer camp in Florida after 10 years?

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: slight heated moments and swearing

A/N: Let me just say, I didn’t expect that this series would get so much attention so thank you!! So if you have suggestions or anything else about and for the series, come thru and slide to my ask box. Here’s your side after 10 years, and sorry if the ending is abrupt. Enjoy!

I don’t own Parent Trap and its ideas. It’s only used as inspiration.

1 / 2A / 2B / 2C / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15

Feedback/Questions/Others? Here.

-

2034, Los Angeles

“Alright, Gina. I’ll be there in 15.” You hung up the phone on your personal assistant, who reminded you that you have an interview and photoshoot with E!News for your film named Take Me or Leave Me. You’ll be interviewed alongside Timothée Chalamet, who played your love interest. Of all the times and days you could have this interview, it had to be at the same day and time when your daughter Stella is about to arrive home in a few minutes.

Great.

Take Me or Leave Me was set in the 1950’s, where there were 2 people named Mercedes and Clark who were in arranged and unhappy marriages. One day, they encountered each other in a diner, where they firstly sulked about how crap life is individually. That was until Mercedes received the wrong order, which so happens to be Clark’s. It instigated them to create conversations when they swapped food. Furthermore, it created a close friendship, which grew something more intimate. But recap, they are married to other people. Was the spark they felt worth to take or just leave it alone?

“We’re home!” You heard your butler, Mark, call out from downstairs of your home. Excited, you ran to the stairs, meeting eye to eye Stella.

“Stella! You’re back!” You called, extending your arms out for an embrace for her.

“Mom!” She shrieked, letting go from her grasp of her luggage, running towards you.

As you two were face to face, you reached out for a warm embrace, ecstatic to finally see each other after a month and a half, which felt longer. As you let go, you were fast enough to observe some minor, physical changes on her.

“You cut your hair!” You traced some strands of her hair.

“Oh yeah, but only a bit! It got really hot there, if that’s okay with you.” 

You chuckled. “That’s alright! As long you’re here.” You then raced her hair behind her ear, finding an earring there.

“Ooh, you pierced your ears there too.” You were a bit confused because you remembered that she didn’t want one back in her younger years.

“I was pretty interested with it because it was really cool, and other girls had their ears pierced too. I’m not afraid anymore!” She cheered. 

You smiled at her happiness, but then it was interrupted once your phone rang from your pocket. Bringing it out, it was Gina calling. Answering it, “(Y/N), the interviewers are here.” 

“Shit.” You mumbled. 

“Are you okay, mom?” Stella asked, worried.

“Alright, I’m really on my way, tell her my apologies and stall a bit for me, Gina?”

“Sure, (Y/N).” Giving your thanks, you hung up the phone. You looked at Stella, looking for an answer. 

“I’m okay, love. I just found that I have an interview with E!News for Take Me or Leave Me with your uncle Timmy. Would you like to come?” Stella’s eyes widened.

“Oh yes please!” She chirped. 

“Alright! I’ll grab my bag and you freshen up, then we’ll go.”

-

The ride to the E! Studios was pretty fast. Yet it was delightful to catch up with her since you werent able to talk her as much you wanted to. “One night, there was this one girl who dared me to jump in the cold lake because I lost to her in a game of poker!”

“Poker? Oh my, has grandpa been teaching you behind my back?” 

“Maybe, maybe not.” She smirked, earning a laugh from you.

“Well, like mother, like daughter.” 

As soon as your chauffeur parked the car, instantly so much paparazzi hovered your path to the studios. You held hands with Stella, hoping she won’t panic.

“(Y/N), are you with Timothée?”

“(Y/N), any other spoilers you can spill for Take Me or Leave Me?”

“(Y/N), does Stella know about her real dad?”

That last question was so harsh on you, like come on, it’s been 10 years?

Old news, dude.  Yet, you just shrugged it off. 

Finally, you managed to bump your way out of this insensitive crowd, and finally entering one of the studios. Instantly, you see Gina and Timothée, or Timmy, by the hair and makeup station.

“(Y/N)! There you are.” Gina called you out as you walked to her direction, then sitting down at one of the chairs to get your makeup done.

“I’m sorry for the tardiness, just wanted to see this little bub before heading here.” You referred to *Stella*, who sat on the chair beside you.

“Oh, I see. So how was camp, Stella?” Gina asked her politely.

“Really fun! Made new friends, got to dance and learn how to fence too!” 

“That’s really cool! Any boys?” She raised her brows cheekily. 

“Nah, they’re disgusting, and it was an all-girls camp!” She groaned, earning a laugh from Gina and you.

“Well, you never know. Times are different now.“ Gina stated. This is a topic very dear to her heart, especially when she came out to you as a lesbian 2 years ago, and you remained to have your full support and love for her nonetheless.

Homophobia can fuck off.

You also find Gina more like family than your assistant, and that she bonded with Stella really well, just like sisters. As the makeup artist added lipstick, you were done and ready for the cameras.

“Hey, love.” Your eyes glanced at Timmy, looking good as ever.

“Hey, Tim.” You greeted back, facing him.

“I see that Stella is back.” He pointed out as you glanced at Stella, laughing over something Gina said.

“Yeah, just this morning, thus me being late.” He chuckled, looking down for a bit then looking back up to you.

“Are you going tell her about us?” He asked, curiously. You sighed. 

You’ve been non-exclusively dating Timmy for a few months, way before Stella went to camp. No one knows except Gina. Ever since you were started filming, especially those intimate scenes, you felt a spark. 

A spark you haven’t felt in 10 years. He felt the same way, so you figured why the hell not? 

“I don’t know, Tim. She hasn’t had any other fatherly figure in so long, unless you count my dad. Hell, she doesn’t even know what happened, which is not an easy thing to tell and process.” You worried. He put his hand on top of yours.

“Hey, I can be there if you want. I really like you, (Y/N). I don’t her to be left out.” He gave you a half yet reassuring grin. He has a point. Sighing again,

“Tonight. Come over for dinner.” You invited, wiggling out from his grasp in hopes no one saw that moment.

“Alright.” He accepted. 

“Okay, guys! Interview time!” One of the producers to both of you, leading you to the area where you’ll be interviewed.

-

“Yes, slay that smirk!” The photographer, whose named is Finn, praised as he took numerous shots of you and Timmy. 

Since you both served so much intense shots, Timmy changed up things and made a joke, which made you laugh and cringe at the same time. Your facial reaction changed the mood for both of you.

“I love these candid laughs, guys!” Finn complimented. Out of nowhere, Timmy brought out Stella to take pictures with you both, which made the mood livelier. 

When the photoshoot reached its end, you were ready to go home and eat, but pretty nervous to tell Stella about you and Tim. 

“You are so pretty, mom.” Stella complimented. 

“Thank you, bub. Everything was much more lively when your uncle Tim let you join in the pictures.”

“True. He’s an amazing guy, he’s the right guy to play your love interest, like awhile, it felt so real, like you were Mercedes and Clark.” She agreed, even mentioning your and Tim’s character names in the film.

“You think so?”

“I know so.” You gave her a smile. Maybe telling her would be easier.

“Have you not felt anything like that before? Like pure happiness?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you ever felt that with dad?” Her question shook you. 

“What’s this question, bub?”

“I don’t know, mom. I mean you’re an amazing and hard-working person, why would a guy like my dad leave you?” You grew anxious at the indirect mention of him. 

“Why so curious all of sudden, Stella?”

“You know eventually, you‘re going to have to tell me what happened between you two because it wouldn’t be fair.” She pouted.

“Let’s just say that it didn’t work out because we grew unhappy and held back each other in reaching our goals.” I admitted, hoping she will be satisfied and wouldn’t ask any more questions. 

Luckily when she was about to ask again, you arrived home. Thank God. Stepping inside the front door, you were surprised to see Timmy was already there, setting up the table. 

“Hey, uncle Tim!” Stella came up to him for an embrace, which he returned.

“Hey, squirt!” He ruffled her hair, making her groan.

“What brings you here?” She questioned.

“Your mom invited me for dinner. I heard there’s pasta and shrimps.” 

“Shrimps, ugh. But I can’t wait to eat!” Stella beamed.

“Since when did you hate shrimps, bub?” You asked, confused. This girl love shrimps, especially tempura.

“C-Camp. It was so nasty.” She stutters, trying not to reveal her true identity just yet.

“Well, camp can change one so fast must I say.” As Timmy lets go from her grasp, he approached and hugged you. 

“You’re here so quickly.” You pointed out.

“Nothing wrong with that. A gentleman is never late.” He justified, making you roll your eyes.

“Smooth. Kinda.” You joked as he also rolled his eyes, taking a seat in the dining table. As Mark all of you dove in, enjoying every bite. Timmy even brought out some wine for you and him.

“Can I have a sip?” Stella asked as she watched you sipped your wine glass. 

“Hmm, no. You’re only 11.” Stella frowned in disappointment. 

“Here’s mine.” Timmy encouraged, offered his wine glass to her, letting her sip the delicious wine.

“Timmy, why? She’s only 11!” You scolded.

“When I was around her age, my dad encouraged me to drink wine too because hello, I’m part-French and it’s in our blood, he says. It’s a way to bond with people.” He answers, waiting for a reaction from Stella as she sipped it. Instantly, she spat it out. Probably out of sourness or bitterness.

“I don’t like this! Why do adults drink this?” She blurted, earning a laugh from you and Tim. 

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” You responded, stifling in some laughs. Suddenly, you felt a hand on top of yours. You faced Timmy, who gave you that ”you should tell her” look. Lord knows how many times you’ve sighed today.

As you waited for Stella to calm down after her terrible encounter with wine, you spoke up.

“Stella, my bub.” You called.

“Yes, mom?” She focused her full attention on you.

“You know that you can tell me anything and that I can tell you anything as well if times are tough, right?”

“Yes, mum. What’s wrong?” She worried, confused with what you’re telling her.

“Nothing. But I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?” You felt Timmy’s hand again on yours. Stella’s eyes saw that too. You prepared yourself for the worst.

“Your uncle Tim and I are dating.” 

She was stunned, her jaw dropping a bit. You couldn’t decipher whether it was bad or good. But to your happiness, she smiled.

“That’s great, mom! Both of you make each other so happy, especially during that photoshoot and interview! I’m happy you’re happy.” Yet you were confused at first, especially just a while ago, she was asking all these questions about her dad.

“You’re not mad or anything?”

“Why should I be? I care about you, mom. You deserve only the best.” She looked at Timmy, standing up and giving him a hug.

“Take care of her, ey?” She reminded as he nodded.

“I will.” It was such a great moment, but it was interrupted when Stella saw the time, shocked again. 10 pm.

“What’s wrong, bub?”

“I feel sleepy and exhausted because camp”.

“Oh okay, good night, bub.” You responded, right before you heard her bedroom door closed.

“Well, I think she handled it well.” Timmy speculated.

“She did.” You affirmed, feeling that wave of relief and sipping more wine, only for Timmy to get it from you.

“I believe you have enough wine for tonight.” He implied, putting back the cork inside.

“No, I haven’t.” You tried to get back his wine, but it raised it up higher so you couldn’t reach it.

“We still interviews tomorrow, love.”

“Ugh fine.” You groaned. Timmy laughed as he put the wine back down.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed, love.” He complimented, pulling your waist closer to him and his lips just inches away.

“I like it when you call me that.” You blushed, wrapping your arms around his neck.  

“You want me to say it again?’ He teased, making you nod.

“Love.” He rasped. Your insides were screaming for help, wanting you to do something about it. You can’t just let him go home without a kiss or two.

“Fuck it.” You instantly planted your lips on him. He returned the desire, lifting you up to the counter. Grinding against each other crazily yet much to your dismay, he was the first to let go.

Hmm, grinding against each other. Sounds familiar?

“What the fuck, Tim?” You cussed in disappointed.

“First, language. Your daughter is upstairs and I’m still seeing you tomorrow.”

“You tease! You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dad.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him closer to you, your lips in near proximity once more. You have your ways on turning him on.

“But you like it, babygirl.” He winked. As you jumped down the counter and led him to your front door, he kissed you one last time for the night.

“Good night.” He said before walking to his car.

“Good night, Tim.” You waved as he took off out your driveway. Entering your house, feeling giddy, you reflected on how life has been going well so far. Great career, amazing boyfriend, a great daughter. Nothing can change that, right?

Also, wine is flowing along your veins, so you couldn’t be too sure.

Well, just get to bed, self.

[celmation-gibson]

Well, It's Time I started these 'Best of' Reviews for what Animated thing had Happened this Year, and Now I'm ready for it, and for me, I think that 2017 was a great Year for Cartoons on TV (and one on the Net), and here are my Reviews on why.

Ben 10(2016 series) – Although the Show was Made and Released in 2016 at other Foreign territories, It finally got a Release in the US in 2017. And some Folks might say that some reboots aren’t very too Bright (and I would agree on TTG and/or PPG 2016), But I find this to be a Nerve Calming excitement, some of the Character Designs/Re-Designing look Cute & Likable to Me. And the One Thing that gets me Fired up for this Series is that some Artists I know worked on this Program, like Mr. Ryan Krammer(Uncle Grandpa, & SpongeBob's 'Food Con Castaways' episode), Ms. Monica Ray(Harvey Beaks, Magic Children Doing Things) as Storyboard Artists & additional Writers& Mr. Colin Heck(Legend of Korra, Harvey Beaks) as Supervising Director. And It was Wonderful to hear Ms. Jessica DiCicco(Lynn & Lucy Loud) voicing a Different-looking FrightWig, who the Character was previously voiced by Cree Summer in the Original Series. But believe me, I remember seeing the Original Ben 10 series along with Alien Force, but didn’t quite go thru the Rest of the Series until the Reboot came. Even the Original villains of this Show look so Cute (except for Billy Billions), which that Cuteness also goes to the re-Designing of the other Villains from the Original ‘Ben 10’ series, and the More appearance I’ve ever seen from a Villain is Steam Smythe (voiced by Roger Craig Smith of ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ & ‘Regular Show’).

Billy Dilley’s Super-Duper Subterranean Summer – Quite an Interesting Show, and I bet many people thought that the Program reminded them of ‘Uncle Grandpa’, so Keep in Mind, Most of the Artists & Writers who worked on this Series previously worked on ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ & ‘Uncle Grandpa’. Even the Show’s Creator Mr. Aaron Springer voicing Billy almost sounds like Paul Rugg of 'Freakazoid', 'Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket', & 'Secret Mountain Fort Awesome'.

Samurai Jack(Season 5) - I truly Enjoyed watching 'Samurai Jack' when I was Young, this Program along with 'Courage the Cowardly Dog', 'Juniper Lee', & 'Chowder' are Probably the only Good Old Cartoon Network Programs that I give Full Circle to in my Childhood. After the "Jack and the Baby" episode, the show went into a Deep Cliffhanger, and I truly Sympathize the Great Hero Jack for it, But Twelve Years Later, a New Season had Finally cometh, with the Show's Original Creator Mr. Genndy Tartakovsky coming to Ex. Produced the series after some Great Work back at Sony Pictures Animation(Hotel Transylvania films, & that Popeye Test Footage). And Instead of the Program being a-little Lighthearted like the Past Seasons with just Slime, Oil & Robotic Guts, and Major Boo-boos, the New Season 5 now airing on Adult Swim has moved to a Darker Tone, which I like as much as 'Return to Oz', 'Over the Garden wall', & 'the Black Cauldron', with some major Blood, Profanity, and some Grown-Up jokes put into it. And it was a Surprised to see some Old Characters that I recognize to make some Cameos in that one episode(or few), such as the Woolies, Demongo, and the Ravers, the Robots and their Robo-Samurai, and the "Jump Good" Monkey man & his Tribe. And some Fresh New Voices came in by Surprise, such as Mr. Chris Parnell & Keegan Michael Key in some Episodes. And I was Lucky to film the Final Confrontation between Jack & Aku during the Premiere of the Series Finale for Instagram. And did I nearly weep during the Part that Now that Aku is Gone, Ashi will Never be Born in the Future(because of the Space Timing Continuum), and I got to say, Ashi was a Cute Character that I truly Sympathize because of her Dark Past & People Torturing her back then, and I like her Voice Actress, the Legendary Ms. Tara Strong (Powerpuff Girls, My Little Pony, Ben 10, & Chowder). And even since Aku's Original voice actor Mr. Mako passed away back then, I say that Mr. Greg Baldwin really did a Good Job impersonating Mako voicing Aku, just like he did with Iroh of 'Avatar: the Last Airbender' & 'Legend of Korra', almost sounded like If Mako aged Puberty. I would say I'm Gonna Miss this Show, just like how I'll miss Chowder, Regular Show, and soon Uncle Grandpa.

Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Battle for Mewni /SvtFoE Season 3– To come Clear, I only watched the First Four Stories of that TV Movie Special, from “Return to Mewni” to “Marco and the King”, Because during the Further Episodes there was an Artist whose Career I clearly dislike, Tyler Chen of ‘Clarence’, ‘Fish Hooks’, ‘Pickle & Peanut’ & the Overrated Bravest Warriors minisode “drama Bug”, and that’s why I never made it to the Ending point, But I do read Perfectly that Star won the Battle against the Vile Toffee, and she got her Wand Redesigned. But what I can tell you that one of my Favorite Episodes from that so Far is “Moon the Undaunted”, and I gotta say that Eclipsa, Queen of Darkness is one of my Most Favorite Characters from the show so far. As for the Rest of Season 3 so Far, I’ve only watched Episodes that are NNOT directed by Chen, cuz remember when I said I don’t like his Career, but my Most Favorite Episodes out of Season 3 so Far is ‘Stranger Danger’, ‘Lint Catcher’, & ‘Trial by Squire’. Also, Despite having appeared in the 2016 episode "Page Turner", I like Hekapoo's appearance in the 2017 episode "Running with Scissors", which is One of my Most Favorite Episodes of Season 2.

The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos - I really Enjoyed this Half-Hour Special of ‘the Loud House’, the New Characters there seemed Likable/Lovable unlike the Unlikable/Hate-able ones in Royal Woods where some Folks aren’t that Disgusting as Hell(Funny Business, Cereal Offender), and It’s also a Good Episode where no Sister Siblings were Complete & Utter jerks(Sleuth or Consequences, a Novel Idea), Even what surprised me Completely is that this was the First Thing in a Kids’ Cartoon to showcase a person with Down-Syndrome, and believe me, I felt Really Disappointed on how they were Portrayed in Adult Cartoons, Mostly *COUGH*Family guy*COUGH*. But in a Kids Cartoon, they were Treated Properly with Good Respect. And the Character Rosa reminds me of Mrs. Claus/Mama from Rankin/Bass’ ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ for some Wacky Reason, “Eat, eat, EAT”. And I still Love the RonnieColn Fandom Completely, that one LH Episode “Back Out There” almost Ruined some Things, and that Led me to have Mixed to Negative Feelings for Lincoln’s Friends Clyde, Rusty, Liam, Zach. So I would say that ‘the Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos’ is a Fun-Filled Episode that I could watch Multiple Times, It’s got Cute & Funny moments, some Heart-Warming Drama, and some Great Entertainment when the Alley Cats run amuck in the Casagrande apartment.

OK K.O! Let’s be Heroes – This Show has become a Great New addition to the Grand CN, It was created by Mr. @ianjq, who was previous storyboard supervisor & storyboard revisionist of ‘Adventure Time’, Writer & Story Artist for ‘Secret Mountain Fort Awesome’, voice of Wallow of ‘Bravest Warriors’, & developer, co-executive producer, supervising director, storyline writer & storyboard artist for ‘Steven Universe’, and I really like him Voicing Rad & other Characters such as Darrell & Crinkly Wrinkly in the K.O. program. It was based off a short Pilot episode ‘Lakewood Plaza Turbo’ back in 2013, in that Great Year of Discoveries along with other pilots for ‘Steven Universe’, ‘Over the Garden Wall’,  & ‘Clarence’, and that was a Time when I was also Fascinated with Disney’s Nine old Men and their Work/Book ‘the Illusion of Life’, and watching that Awesome Documentary on Cartoon Network’s ‘Next Generation of Animation’, I will always accept New Cartoon Network shows like ‘Adventure Time’, ‘Regular Show’, ‘Uncle Grandpa’, ‘Over the Garden Wall’, ‘Steven Universe’, & ‘We Bare Bears’ into the Cartoon Society. But as for ‘OK K.O.’ , the seems pretty Wonderful, It has a Blend of 1970’s Obscure Anime looks into the Western Animation looks, and How they have some Classical Cartooning Principles(Funny Cartoon Noises, Jokes & Gags) into the Modern Day Greatness. Even some of the characters seemed likable, Mostly on either Lord Boxman(voiced by the Great Jim Cummings), some of the Villainess Characters that the Heroes might met(Professor Venomous, Cosma, & Mr. Cardsley), and even some of the Main Good Characters, especially the Ones I also Sympathize like K.O., Rad, Enid, Dendy, Carol, & Mr. Gar, and I gotta say that Character Crinkly Wrinkly is the Funniest character that I’ve ever seen. I think it was Good that I first get to watch the Series when It was On-Demand before it aired on actual TV, but I have yet to see it’s 2013 Pilot episode along with the Rests that Aired on 2013, But I do know that it had a Mobile Game back then (though I did not Download it or played it) and a Series of Shorts by other Animation Studios, but I haven’t watch them because I am Never a huge fan of SCIENCE SARU and I’m Not too certain about Studio Yotta. But I gotta say also, This Show is a Fanstastic Experience on the Grand CN, Filled with Precious Heart-Warming episodes with Good Life Lessons like How to handle your own Duties as an Employer or how Great your Boss can be (‘Legends of Mr. Gar’), or If you Try not to Spoil your life by being a Self-Proclaimed Selfish ‘Cool Kid’ like Brat, you should have a More Focused Future ahead of you, even without going to Jail (‘We’ve Got Pests’), and the Show had some Crazy Developments such as Enid & Rad used to being a Couple (‘Second First Date’), and Enid being a Witch and being in a Family of Halloween-Themed Characters (‘Parents Day’). Plus the shows got a Good crew, Like the Program's Supervising Director Toby Jones, who Previously worked on 'Regular Show', and one of the Show's Story folks Dave Tennant, previously does some Stories for Pete Browngardt Cartoons, Which I think makes it Better for Me.

Pickle Rick – Why not, It’s “PICKLE RIIIICK!!!!”, I thought I would pass on this, But eventually won my Heart, don’t ask why, but Things just happen like that.

The Summoning - I just Discovered this while browsing on the internet probably from Fan-Art on DA, and I watched it on Youtube, and I gotta say, this Cartoon is Really Cute, Funny, & Creepy at the same time. The Main Characters seemed Lovable, and I mean Claire & Edgar, the Bunny Character is hugely Funny in a way, Though I feel Terribly Bad for the characters accidentally eating some things like Eating some Dandruff from a Big Head Island which Claire thought it was Dirt, and Eating Poop which Edgar thought it was Chocolate. But to make Matters Better for the Cartoon, Celmation Hero Ms. Natasha Allegri(Bee & Puppycat, Fionna & Cake) worked on the short as Director, Story Artist, & Character Designer, WHAT A HERO!!! And the Animations/Celmation was done by Digital eMation inc., the Celmation Team behind ‘Ok K.O. Let’s be Heroes!’ & the Season 5 of ‘Samurai Jack’.

The Movies of 2017 & Probably some on Video Games should be made soon.

[ledamemangociana]

April 27, 2016.

my brother and i arrived home. the house was quiet and dim. my mattress was in the den, because my dad had had it brought down there for mom’s comfort, thinking they’d still be coming home from the hospital this time. i was going to be sleeping on my sister’s bed instead. i went up to my room, followed by mom’s cat. he was mewling in demand, the way he always does when we’ve been out all day and he was alone in the house with the dogs. he sat on the bed with me, and i told him that mom missed him. he seemed satisfied with this; he let me pet him as he quieted down. i got my shoes off, sat down on my sister’s bed.

then my brother came into the room. “there it is,” he said.

“there’s what?” i asked.

and then dad’s text came in.

i was frozen. my jaw fell ajar. i dropped my phone. the sound that escaped me came from deep in my chest, and hurt coming out. my brother wrapped his arms around me, and i wailed and cried into his shirt. grief came first, and then the guilt that i had left mom’s side and dragged my brother with me, and then the anger at myself for being such a shithead for doing that. i wanted to go back, but didn’t know how, but i kept yelling at no one in particular that i had to go back.

my father called, saying his brother - my uncle - was on his way over to our area, because he was picking my cousin up; he could swing by us as well. it was a surreal conversation to have. my father didn’t sound sad; he sounded disappointed. i heard his sad anger, and i was convinced it was because by leaving the hospital, i made him text me that my mother - his wife of almost 30 years - had died, that he had to call me to let me know that someone was going to pick me up and take me to my mother’s bedside, where i should have been when she passed away. 365 days later, i still carry that with me. i remain convinced that my father resents me. i’m convinced that our relationship has slowly broken down over the past year because of this very night. i’m convinced my mother was angry with me when she passed away because i wasn’t there, and because i dragged my brother away too. 

the ride to the hospital took forever. it was almost 2am, but some streets were clogged with traffic jams caused by huge freight delivery trucks trying to quickly do their rounds in the only window of the day that they could travel. i could hear myself in my head kicking my own ass the entire way there.

mom’s room was full of people when we finally got there. her siblings and my father’s siblings were in there, my sister was sitting at her bedside, not quite finished crying. she had been the one to witness my mom’s last breath, they told me much later. she carries that sight with her, and it makes me hate myself even more, because i put so much stock in my own failings of that night, which pale in comparison to what happened with her. in the same breath that i berate myself for leaving mom as she was dying, thinking that i would see her again the next day, i also cuss myself out for being a selfish dick for feeling the way i do, because my sister’s experience is more significant than mine.

i don’t remember how much longer we stayed in the hospital after that. my dad’s eldest sister offered use of her van to transport me and my family back home, with all of the belongings that had to be brought home from the hospital. it was a silent ride back home, and probably the longest one i had in the past 12 hours. already i was feeling the change. i could see and feel the hole in our family left empty by my mom; there should’ve been five of us in that van, instead there were only four. it was hard to push away.

we arrived back home, dragged everything back inside, dropped it all on the floor. there was a split second of silence, of all of us just staring at each other, at a complete loss for words or action. and then we all just broke down, grabbing each other and crying, dad shouting to the emptiness, asking where mom was, and why she left us. mom’s cat was yelling too. in hindsight, it was probably just him being his needy self, demanding that someone come upstairs already and give him attention, but at the time, he was meowing so long and so loudly that it sounded like actual words and sentences to me, reflecting our own grief.

we were in the living room for maybe an hour. we might have talked, i don’t remember. heading back upstairs to our rooms were hard. i remember a loud thud from my parents’ room, because dad had fallen onto his knees at the foot of a bed he was now going to sleep alone in for the rest of his life. at some point, we started making plans for the day; wake and funeral services needed to be seen to, her death certificate needed to be taken care of, i needed to be at work in a couple of hours. typical me - a death in my family, and my response is “i have a deadline i need to meet.” it’s difficult to not hate myself.

we had to go through mom’s closet to find things for her to wear in her coffin. one of our relatives had mentioned dreaming about mom a night before, and seeing her wearing a blue dress with a white veil. yes, the religious iconography of it isn’t lost on me, and that made it hurt just a little bit more. we found the right shade of dress to put her in, and her favorite white scarf. i don’t remember why, but i ended up looking at or thru her shoe rack. “look at all these shoes,” i said before i could stop myself, “look at all these things she’s never going to wear again.” and i started crying again. my dad found me in the corridor crying over my mom’s shoe rack. he just held me and let me cry it out for a few minutes. and then i went and got ready for work.

i turned up at the office at around 7:30am. our head HR person saw me and asked, “hey, what are you doing here? why’d you come in to work today, you should be at home with your family to mourn your mom.” to this day, i don’t know how she already knew - i hadn’t notified the office yet, and i don’t think my dad had any contact number for the office to do that, and neither did my sister. i gave her an answer that i would find myself giving 6 or 7 more times that day: “i need a sense of normalcy right now.” typical me, trying to lie to myself. my mom in the morgue, and still i was denying what was going on and what i was feeling. how am i supposed to not think that i’m an asshole?

i completed my work day, and left as soon as i could properly clock out. in the chapel where her wake was, she was in a simple but elegant white coffin, with a picture of her from a recent wedding she attended and a picture of her from just before i was born sitting on top. the casket was closed; dad said it was because the funeral home that was being run by one of her brothers hadn’t done quite a good job on her, and she didn’t look much like her beautiful self. maybe that’s why i didn’t quite cry that first night of the wake; not actually seeing her there was making it easier to deny that any of it was happening. typical me.

we couldn’t stay overnight at the chapel yet, it was against the rules, so we headed home at midnight, with me promising to be up early in the morning to be the one to open up the chapel and stay with mom in the morning while my dad saw to other pertinent tasks. 

i dreamed of mom that night. in my dream, i was in the condo, back after a long day at work, watching TV, when someone knocked on the door. i opened it to find dad supporting a weak, limping, very sick but alive mom. they were upset, and i think it was at me for taking so long to open the door and because the condo looked a bit of a mess. dad set mom down on the couch, where she laid down and said she needed to rest. the dream spanned a few weeks, during which mom seemed to go through a reversal of her sickness; she slowly became stronger and healthier, getting back to her old self, even if it was taking a while. at the end of the dream, we were in an airport, preparing to travel abroad, and she was scolding me for having fucked something up.

i woke up abruptly, because i had missed my alarm. my dad was already dressed and ready to go when he found me still asleep. i think i jumped right out of bed and into my clothes for the day in 5 minutes. the ride to the chapel was mostly quiet. when we arrived, my godmother, one of dad’s sisters, had also just arrived, and was bringing out the food and catering stuff that she had prepared for the day. i helped her take it in and set it all up, and spent the rest of the morning alone with mom.

even then - EVEN THEN - alone with my mother in her coffin in a funeral services chapel, a part of me was in denial, still trying to keep me focused on the work that i was leaving behind, on the episode of Critical Role that i was anticipating in a couple of days, of all the stuff i’d have to catch up on that coming Monday, the day after we were set to lay her to rest. 

typical me - surrounded by the truth, and still trying to lie to myself. typical asshole, dumbass me.

i’m sorry, mom. i’m so sorry.

[chroniclesofawkwardness]

‘81 Special

Judy Woodruff told me George H.W. Bush, the 41st president of the United States, had died.

I’ve had mixed feelings about the man since I was nine. He had a career in public service that was longer than some lifetimes. To hear most people who knew him tell it, he held just about every possible public office until finally occupying the White House for one term between 1989 and 1993. I wasn’t old enough to vote for or against him, though for years after he left 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, I remember thinking:

How bad do you have to be for the American people to vote you out after just one term?

But I also thought:

Man, I’m sure glad he signed the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Not that I flaunt mine, but at least I know there’s a law on the books intended to prevent discrimination on the basis of disability.

I don’t remember the exact date, but I may have been on the south lawn of the White House the day the ADA was signed into law. I know I was there, I know he was there, I know pre-plastic surgery (PPS) country crooner Kenny Rogers was there. I can’t remember if I heard H.W. say, “Let the shameful wall of exclusion finally come tumbling down.” My vision sucked then, just like it does now, and I was too busy trying to see over all of the adults sitting around me. I had a remarkably similar experience when I saw his son, W., fourteen years later, except I was standing.

If a wall, at least rhetorically, came tumbling down that day in 1990 on the south lawn, more walls, again rhetorically, came down in 2004, with the expansion of the European Union. Expansion was on everybody’s mind when W. welcomed a few politicians to the stage that spring day. It made for a nice photo, but expansion and harmonizing tariffs meant contraction and discord for our office. When we came back from the ceremony, there wasn’t an audible death knoll or a visible fire sale, but the adults in the room knew the Central and Eastern Europe Business Information Center was done. The Bushes always had a way of making you feel special.

If you believe some of the inflammatory memes on the Internet, you’d think Republicans like the Bushes don’t give a damn about your problems until something similar happens to them. I once saw a meme proclaiming that Nancy Reagan opposed stem-cell research until Ronnie got Alzheimer’s. But you’ve got to be careful with meme’s, anyone can make one, and its message can be anything, without necessarily explaining its contents or the agenda of its creator. I was too young to realize it then, but politicians on both sides of the aisle can occasionally cooperate, and support initiatives that are simply the right thing to do, like the ADA. As difficult as it may be to believe at times, not everything is done for the sake of political expediency, or to degrade one’s opponent.

I ended up on the south lawn that day because I was part of a group called Very Special Arts (VSA) Ohio. My storytelling abilities (which basically consisted of throwing tales together on the fly based on suggestions from my audience) had somehow caught the attention of someone within VSA. Mom and I got to fly (my first time), while my dad, brother, uncle Dave, and others drove. The advantage we gained was short-lived. Mom and I had to stand in line practically everywhere we went, but the rest of the family enjoyed much greater freedom of movement.

You might say the day I had to squint to see H.W. was the pinnacle of my childhood fame. Mom took a picture of PPS Kenny, The Portsmouth Daily Times said I shook his hand (I didn’t). I got to wax poetic at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, next to a kid doing some kind of interpretive dance from the comfort of his wheelchair. I was on one of the major networks for a split second, right after some guy who could play the guitar with his feet. This was also the trip where I bought a book called The Presidents and Their Wives that featured each president and his wife (except James Buchannan’s) along with biographical information for each Commander in Chief, such as date of birth, religious affiliation, and date and cause of death. Ever the eager beaver, I couldn’t wait to flex my new knowledge, so I announced to the entire VSA Ohio contingent one morning at breakfast that Thomas Jefferson died of chronic diarrhea.

Maybe the whole VSA experience was an act of both revenge and foreshadowing. Revenge because I got to be in the limelight for the briefest of moments after years of being last picked in gym class, and having to deal with the trauma of having my last name misspelled (Ratcliffe) on the blue triceratops that was my nametag in first grade. Foreshadowing because all these years later, I can’ t help wondering if I peaked that day. I’d occasionally poke fun at people who I thought peaked in high school when they were the unquestioned kings of the gridiron, or queens of their social circle. Perhaps the joke was on me the whole time. Those whose waves crested at eighteen may have beaten me by a full lifetime at that point.

I spent Christmas with at my brother and sister-in-law’s house this year, joined by their two kids and my mom. I noticed the refrigerator was speckled with Christmas cards from their friends. Most of them had pictures of the senders, complete with a shot of the family pet, and four photos of the latest baby, while the other kids were relegated to the group picture with mom, dad, and the dog named after the patriarch’s favorite baseball player.

Some of the cards even had highlights of the senders’ years. I didn’t care enough to read them because “Tanner took a shit and it was neon green,��� or “Betsy still has trouble with phonics, but at least she’s no longer screaming, ‘Tom Berenger is my hero’ in the middle of the night,” didn’t really interest me. Plus, the fonts were really small to be highlights. Not exactly attention-grabbing. But, is that any better (or worse) than doing interpretive dance while sitting on your ass in a wheelchair, or creating stories for adults who are amazed at your ability to construct complete sentences? Didn’t think so. 

I’m not saying my parents messed up by giving me a chance to participate in VSA (I could have had my own Shriner’s Hospitals for Children commercial, dammit. I could’ve been huge.) but it took me a long time to accept that I’m really not special. I’m unique. Just like everyone else. This sobering realization doesn’t mean I’m going to kill myself by taking a bubble bath with a toaster. It means I’ve developed a bit of an aversion to flaunting my love of writing and telling stories. If someone happens to discover my writing and appreciate it, that’s cool. That being said, I’ll never go back to such an ostensible display of talent such as VSA. Maybe the goal wasn’t to put artists on, or knock them off, pedestals. The hope may have been to invite them to find themselves by making peace with their circumstances and internal demons through external signs of appreciation, well before the safe spaces, shaming, and outrage culture of today took hold. 

The ADA and VSA were about leveling the playing field for people with disabilities. The only accommodation I want is that I don’t want one. I accepted long ago that I wasn’t going to be a child star like Macaulay Culkin. My mom used to give me throat slash gestures from the back of Martin Russell bookstore in Portsmouth as a reminder to wrap it up when I’d get lost in a story of my own creation. The abrupt, repeated movements of her hand across her throat should have been enough to curb my enthusiasm for fame and fortune. 

It took me a long time to come back to storytelling as a release. It took me a long time to learn to write for myself rather than for the sake of creating a personal brand. There’s a reason why the longest drive-thru lines are at McDonald’s, and why Kim Kardashian has over a million followers on Instagram: famous golden arches, and a famous butt. (The sex tape probably didn’t hurt Kim either; she may have learned about the benefits of dark, grainy recordings from her mentor, Paris Hilton.) I don’t want my own arches, or to be known for the shape of my ass, but I don’t hate McDonald’s or Kim K. for the attention they get, either.

The point is to create your own brand without giving a damn who likes or follows it. Learning to accommodate yourself. Toppling your own walls. H.W. put a law on the books to advance the civil rights of people with disabilities, but the rest of my story is on me.