drowzyscatterbrain

[drowzyscatterbrain]

holy shit i am not doing well.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

walking into an art supply store really do puts one under a spell imo

so many tools, so many materials, makes one think what can i make with this, what can i create with that...

i walked in for like, 2 things.

walked out 2.5 hours later with 3 more things and remembered i didn't buy watercolor.

and several fading fantasies of creating many cool shits with stuff i didn't buy and doesn't even have space for.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

I can never look at any blue rod shaped thing the same way before I met the undertale fanbase ever again.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

castle crashers brainrot hit me like the war machine.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

getting into a decades old fandom and seeing all those contents from years ago feels really interesting fr

nostalgia, ones i've never experienced before.

but it's still affecting me somehow.

i feel it, through people's words, like i am actually one of them.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

here comes another year

going down the road of life

with my beloved skeleton.

we'll be alright.

we're all gonna be alright.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

what if i am capable of building very advanced androids, and ended up building sans into reality in a fit of brain chemical haywire moment huh

what if. *screech internally in artblock + apathy paralysis*

this doesn't really turn happily ever after in any way in my head tho

like sure, i'd write his code exactly how i interprete him to be, and miiiiight even codes him to like-like me. (or at least set his code to likely develope this way)

all is sunshine and rainbows, puppies kittens dreams come true.

until:

something bad happens and hard reset his memory. all the shared moments with him died alongside the former him as he greeted me just like his first activation

realizes he's really just what i coded him to be like. never his own person, or individual in this case. nothing more, nothing less. imagine the mindfuxk it'll cause as this drags on, damn.

he gained sentience (somehow) and gets the existential crisis arc™ and nobody involved will be happy about this

[drowzyscatterbrain]

time to spam cast 'f you' to the mean voice in my brain so i can actually draw anything oh boi

i am cringe.

i am free.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

a

[drowzyscatterbrain]

sometimes the more i feel shitty, the more i want to see him be all happy and comfy.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

yearning so fucking hard rn it's not even funny wow

[drowzyscatterbrain]

it's been so long since i've had a nice self insert dream.

but i've since learned not to think about it too much/try to make it happen

cuz 1st time i tried he was a animated shitpost scribble that flopped onto me and it felt absolute horrible

and 2nd time he just hates my guts for no goddamn reason, yeah.

if i have more, great! if no more skelehubby dream for the rest of my life, oh well. it was lovely while it lasted.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

my brain is straight up having delulu9000 episode to cope rn

so many self insert situations, man

tooth rottingyl cute, silly, angsty, even spooky......

daaaaaamnnn...

[drowzyscatterbrain]

sans learning how to play an ukulele just to play meme music with a shit eatin' grin

...and also to serenade his beloved under the night sky.

ye.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

ay y'know what?

on second thought, why should I let one single bad dream keep me from loving him??

it's true that hurt like hell, yeah, it sure did.

but bad dreams are bound to happen at least once in a lifetime, and if I am already doing sappy self inserts, why not do the hurt/comfort self insert????

this is literally the perfect opportunity, what the heck.

if u hafta eat, gotta have a balanced diet, eh?

about time.

'oh noooo he hates me, he hates me so much he doesn't even wanna look at me oh nooooo DDDD": '

hoho, nah naw nuh uh, screw that HECK THAT I TELL SANS ABOUT IT, AND HE IMMEDIATELY TELLS ME THAT IS FAR FROM TRUTH, HE WOULD NOT FRIGGIN HATE ME OUT OF NOWHERE

HE HAVE ME TO LOOK INTO HIS EYESOCKETS AND TELLS ME HE LOVES ME TOO MUCH TO DO THAT, AND THEN WE HAVE A NICE AHH CUDDLE SESSION YEEAAAAHHHHH

also he can literally check to see if the rumors were true, the flavor texts never lies.

silly, silly me.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

boop.

[drowzyscatterbrain]

first power outage night w sans, man.

hand shadow puppet and telling stories of related childhood memories

and maybe, unintended candlelit dinner.