#it feels too deliberate is what I'm saying
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sidekick-hero · 2 days ago
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Here it is, the third and final chapter of my fic hold me close (I'm shaking apart) - it only took me 1,5 years to finish this fic. This whole fic started off thanks to @dreaminginpencil and their amazing fanart. This chapter specifically was inspired and refers to this second piece of art from them. Also much love to @pearynice for being my cheerleader and reading this over - your comments were the best motivation 💜
Summary:
Of all the unlikely friendships Eddie had formed during the literal apocalypse, the one with Steve felt the most unlikely. Hawkins High's freak and king. But those titles had stopped meaning anything, they were just names and had nothing to do with him or with Steve.
It all came down to one simple truth: Steve Harrington was not at all what Eddie expected him to be, and it was confusing him to no end.
Or: Steve asks Eddie if he wants to experiment. Eddie wants so much more, but he takes what he can get and tries to not let it break his heart.
Have a little sneak peek under the cut and read the rest on AO3 💜
That had been another first Eddie had given his former-high-school-nemesis-turned-best-friend.
“Seriously, man, what’s going on?” Steve’s voice pulls him from the memory, grounding him back in the present. His body, however, lingers very much in the past, judging by the uncomfortable tightness in his jeans.
“Huh? Sorry.” Eddie shakes his head, trying to clear the haze of his thoughts. “I must’ve drifted off.”
Steve, honest-to-God, pouts at that. “Am I boring you?”
The absurdity of the question almost makes Eddie laugh. Steve does a lot of things—annoys him, mystifies him, terrifies him sometimes—but boring him? Never.
“Quite the contrary, Stevie,” Eddie says, a mischievous glint in his eye. He shifts closer, angling his hips deliberately so Steve can feel just how far from bored he is. “I’ve just been thinking about last week and how you blew my mind.”
That is apparently the right thing to say because Steve leans in, his eyes practically glowing with happiness. “I see. Although, if I remember correctly, neither your mind nor mine was the only thing that got blown that day.”
“Is that so?” Eddie asks, feigning innocence, though his grin betrays him.
Steve’s lips curve into a slow, deliberate smile, and Eddie realizes he’s been staring at them since the conversation veered into suggestive territory. “Mmhmm,” Steve hums. “It is. Maybe I need to refresh your memory?”
And oh, isn’t that an offer Eddie can’t refuse?
“I think you might,” Eddie murmurs, already leaning in to capture those lips in what he’s sure will be the prelude to something much more scandalous, when a blaring horn startles him so badly he nearly tumbles off the roof.
Only Steve’s quick reflexes save him, an arm snaking around Eddie’s waist and pulling him tightly against his chest.
“Jesus Christ!” Eddie yelps, his heart hammering.
“Nope,” Steve quips, unfazed. “That’s Jon and Nancy with the kids.” He glances down at the driveway, confirming it. “I almost forgot—we’re supposed to take Dustin and Max and pick up Robin on the way to the theatre.”
“Shit! You think they saw us?” Eddie’s voice pitches higher, nerves tightening his chest at the thought of their friends catching on to what exactly they’ve been doing. It isn’t that he’s ashamed, not of Steve at least. But of himself. Of how he’s taking Steve up on an offer that Steve probably doesn’t mean the same way Eddie wants it to. He wants too much—more than Steve is willing, or maybe even able, to give. Yet, he takes whatever scrapes he’s given and he’s not sure if that makes him greedy or pathetic or both.
It’s not just that, either. Eddie trusts their friends. He really does. Despite everything in him screaming not to, he knows they wouldn’t hurt him, wouldn’t out him. But they’d look at him differently, and he isn’t ready for that.
Steve shakes his head, still maddeningly relaxed. “No, I don’t think so. They probably just saw us sitting up here. That’s why Nance honked. And anyway, it’s just her and Jon and the kids.”
Eddie wisely keeps his mouth shut, clambering back inside the house through the window. At least the situation in his pants has solved itself.
Steve follows more leisurely, still unconcerned. Eddie doesn’t get it. How can he be so unbothered, so uncaring as to whether or not they get caught? Steve has more to lose than Eddie, at least from Eddie’s perspective. People already think Eddie’s a freak. Hell, they call him worse things—Satanist, murderer. What’s a little sodomy on top of it?
But Steve? The golden boy, the fallen King who rose from the ashes like a phoenix. The unsung hero, the heart of their ragtag group. He has so much more to lose, and Eddie doesn’t want that—would rather deny himself than risk Steve losing the family he’s always wanted, the one he deserves.
Eddie has it bad. He knows.
Still. “What about Wheeler?”
“What about her?” Steve’s brows furrow, his head tilting slightly, a gesture so puppy-like it almost makes Eddie melt.
“If she saw us! How are you not getting it?”
Steve steps closer, confusion deepening on his face. “I have no idea what’s going on here. What’s Nance got to do with anything?”
“So you’re not worried that she’ll think—that if she and Jon—but then she saw us and thinks—y’know, then how will you get her back?”
And okay, now that he says it out loud, it does sound…well, weird. Steve seems to think so too, because he just blinks at him a few times, clearly contemplating how to react to Eddie’s word-vomit.
Finally, he pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep, measured breath. “Eddie—” he starts, then stops, his eyes scanning Eddie’s face. “I never wanted to read someone’s mind before I met you, y’know? You’re a fucking enigma, driving me crazy.” The fondness creeping into his tone softens the sting of his words. “Also, I already told you: me and Nance? That’s not gonna happen. She’s happy with Jon, and I’m—happy too. Really. I think I was missing the idea of us, not the reality of Nance and me. There was a reason things didn’t work out.”
“Yeah, monster from another dimension.”
“No,” Steve says, his voice patient as ever, shaking his head. “Not the Upside Down. Sure, it sped things up, maybe, but only because I wasn’t what Nance needed in the first place. And I needed her to break my heart so I could realize what a massive dick I was. I like who I am now—someone with real friends. Friends like Nancy, Jon, Robin, and you.”
The human heart is a strange thing, Eddie thinks, because it manages to feel both warmed and utterly wrecked by the sentiment of Steve’s friendship.
“So, to answer your question, I don’t want to ‘get her back,’ so it doesn’t matter what she saw or didn’t. Would you please stop worrying so we can finally go watch that kids’ movie you and the twerps are so excited about?”
“‘Stand by Me’ is not a kids’ movie!”
The glint in Steve’s eyes tells Eddie that his outburst is exactly what Steve was aiming for. “It’s a movie about kids, so it’s a kids’ movie.”
Eddie throws his hands in the air, huffing like the Big Bad Wolf about to blow a little piggy’s house to bits. “You are so wrong, and I’m going to tell Dustin what you said so he can explain exactly how wrong you are in excruciating detail.”
“No! Eddie, please—” Steve begs, reaching for his arm, but Eddie’s already bounding down the stairs toward the front door.
“Dusty Bun, you need to hear what Steve just said!”
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bktempted · 1 day ago
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Family vacation. Mom and Dad are lost in their ritual argument about the best route to the beach house, their voices drifting from the front seats. We're squeezed into the back, just like when we were kids, except now your legs are longer, stretching out to graze my thigh, and your nose is buried in your phone instead of a book.
You try to ignore my stares, but I see the telltale signs of my attention on you — your lips parting slightly, legs squeezing together — those small betrayals of how you really feel.
Not long after, the beach house appears around the bend, weathered and familiar as an old family photo, and you squeeze my arm — not from excitement, but as a tease, a quiet promise of what's to come.
Dad barely puts the car in park before you're out the door, racing up the creaky steps, your shorts riding up, showing yourself off for me. I follow behind with both our duffel bags – you left yours in the trunk – and find you already sprawled across the bottom bunk in our childhood bedroom.
As our parents move outside to unload the car, I drop the bags and join you on the bed. You look up at me with that smile, the one that says you've been thinking about this moment since summer break started. I lean down, my lips brushing against your ear, "We should make the most of the time we have before they come in."
Your breath hitches, and you pull me down, guiding my hand under your shirt, feeling the warmth and the eagerness of your skin. We kiss, a deep, hungry kiss that speaks of all the nights we've spent apart, imagining this very moment. My fingers trace the outline of your bra, teasing, before slipping beneath to cup your breasts, feeling you arch into my touch.
We hear the distant voices of our parents, still organizing outside, giving us this precious window. You tug at my shirt, pulling it over my head, your eyes exploring my chest. I'm stronger than what you remember; I've grown up too.
I slide your shorts down, my fingers hooking into your panties, pulling them aside. You're already wet, the anticipation having worked its magic on you just as it has on me. I guide myself into you, our eyes locked in a silent agreement, the thrill of secrecy heightening every sensation.
Our movements are slow, deliberate, matching the rhythm of the waves crashing against the shore outside. Each thrust is quiet, each moan muffled by the other's kiss. We keep our sounds low, the risk of being caught adding a layer of excitement that makes the moment almost unbearably intense.
But I know you need more than a slow, polite, fucking to get off. Your nails are digging into my back, urging me on, your body tensing with each movement. Your eyes are wide, locked onto mine, pleading and defiant all at once. You need me to tell you how wrong this is. It’s the only way you can cum.
"Imagine if they heard us," I whisper, the taunt pushing you closer to the edge, I can feeling you tighten around me, your juices leaking down your thigh onto mine. "Imagine if they walked in right now, sis." Your body responds, gripping me tighter, a tempest brewing within you, ready to break free.
"You know your big bro wouldn’t stop." I murmur, my thrusts becoming relentless. You're even closer now, just one more push. "I'd just keep fucking you, I don't really care if they know." That last line did it. I can see your orgasm starting to wash over you, and my own climax isn’t far behind. With one final, deep thrust, we reach our peak together, coming undone in each other’s arms.
We lay there, catching our breath, the air thick with the scent of sex and sea salt — until finally, you break the silence. "You’d really keep fucking me?" you ask, a playful glint in your eye, clearly plotting our next encounter.
“We’re all grown up now, why wouldn’t I?”
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xylatox · 6 hours ago
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And I've made it to Amia's Valentine Fic!!!! It's of Taehyun (1 of my 2 biases) so I'm extra excited AND academic rivals so it's enemies to lovers, so excited. Also it's my first time reading a long fic from her too so I'm so excited!!!!
it wasn't just his irritatingly perfect smile, or his perfect grades, or his constant ability to somehow do everything just a little bit better than you, no. it was something more insidious—something about how effortlessly he seemed to exist in a world where everything was perfectly aligned in his favor. he was always better, always one step ahead. — I absolutely love how instantly we see that reader's irritation with Taehyun has a borderline of attraction to it, they do say hate and love are on 2 sides of the same coin.
I also love that they're president and vice president, it somehow makes the tension between them do much more appealing. It's even more hilarious when we're told that Taehyun is nice to us like😭😭 I love this dynamic instantly.
you hated how taehyun made you feel seen, how he seemed to know you better than anyone else, even though you barely let anyone in. he noticed the way you hesitated, the way your voice would shake when you pretended not to care. it was infuriating. you’d shove it all down, but he’d always come back for more, always patient, always gentle, like a relentless force pulling at the edges of your defenses.— god I love this, I love that the grumpy x sunshine trope is reader being the grumpy one omg, I'm living for this.
but he didn’t budge. instead, a small chuckle escaped him, low and unhurried, like he found your irritation amusing. he remained still, waiting, that same infuriatingly gentle smile tugging at his lips. – God he's so sweet but infuriating, intentional and calculated.
taehyun laughs, a quiet, breathy sound that sent a shiver up your spine. “you’re awfully cute when you’re smug.”—SCREAMING TAEHYUN IS SO CUTE :(((
Reader's response is so black cat coded (me), I absolutely love her so much. I love their banter after meeting with the principal, it's so natural and just the back and forth is absolutely amazing.
a beat of silence followed, filled only by the distant chatter of students lingering in the hallways and the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. then, with a loud thud, beomgyu—who had been balancing his chair precariously on two legs—let it drop back down, the abrupt sound making jiwon, the treasurer, flinch. — I love beomgyu so much his personality is absolutely amazing.
taehyun, either genuinely oblivious or just expertly unfazed, regarded him with a blank expression, blinking once. “...that’s just a prom with plants.” — this is so hilarious to me because it's so Taehyun coded, it reminds me of the video where it's a qna and they ask them what they're most afraid of and Taehyun says death in the most deadpan way, yeah, this moment reminds me exactly of that LOL.
you tapped a finger against your chin, pretending to deliberate. “hmm. it does sound good, but i don’t know, gyu. the fact that it came from you makes me a little skeptical.” — this is what I was absolutely thinking LOL, like after Gyu's last ideas even I'm skeptical. I am loving the conversations so far, it makes me so happy.
“says the girl who still thinks vanilla ice cream is the superior flavor,” beomgyu shot back, eyes gleaming. — absolutely unrelated but i had to read this line twice because I genuinely thought it said villain icecream and I was so confused.
I love that after the idea is settled the banter seems to have mellowed out a tiny bit, it's so cute and the moment after like—taehyun blinked at you, his expression unreadable, caught between something unreadable and something almost… curious. then, his lips twitched, the ghost of a smirk forming, though this one was softer—less teasing, more thoughtful.— god I love them.
it was small, delicate, impossibly soft-looking, its petals shimmering faintly with an ethereal glow. the light was subtle, barely noticeable, but it was there, a quiet pulse of something that shouldn’t be real. your eyes widen, your chest tightening, the air around you suddenly feeling too thick, too heavy, as if the weight of the moment itself was pressing down on you, demanding to be acknowledged. there, resting in the curve of your palm, was a single blue hydrangea. your fingers twitched again, hesitant, unsure, before finally moving—just barely grazing the petals. they were cool beneath your fingertips, soft as silk, fragile in a way that made your stomach twist. and yet, the moment you made contact, a warmth surged through you—different from before, deeper, curling through your chest, spreading outward in gentle waves, like ripples disturbing still water. — and the fic title makes an appearance hehe, I love this so much!! I was so invested in them I forgot it was a soulmates au😭😭
there's a part of me that hopes that Taehyun somehow knows they're already soulmates, but I may be asking for too much😔😞 my heart breaks that reader's first instinct is to see if the bond can be broken somehow despite small signs of feelings for Taehyun being there.
"seriously, what’s up with you?" taehyun continued, voice quieter now, softer around the edges, but no less insistent. his eyes were sharp, searching, tracing over your profile like he was trying to piece together a puzzle he wasn’t meant to solve. "you’ve been acting weird since yesterday. not just weird—weird in a way that actually bothers me. and that’s saying something."— crying because Taehyun is so observant to realize how odd her behaviour is :((
he knew you wouldn’t like that. instead, taehyun simply sighed, a quiet, barely-there smile tugging at the corners of his lips. shaking his head to himself, he leaned back in his chair, voice a hushed murmur as he muttered, "maybe another time." — god this is so sweet, I genuinely love them so much, again the way you do conversations brings so much joy to me.
I love that her walls were down for a moment and touched Tae while he was asleep and was so in denial after, reader is adorable
but instead of prying, which was something he would normally do just to get a rise out of you, taehyun simply smiled. not the usual smirk, not the playful glint of mischief, but something softer, something almost… fond. — Tae either knows theyre soulmates, likes her or both, and I vote both.
but as you stood there, watching his figure disappear into the station, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed. that, for the first time, you weren’t entirely relieved to see him go. — and the walls have crumbled more, I love the progression thus far.
The moment with them on the bike is so cute, their banter is my absolute favorite thing. God, taehyun adding Blue Hydrangeas into the mix, now he's just being a tease honestly either knowinglyor unknowingly. This entire moment where they're in the venue is so cute, from the conversation, to him asking her to the winter ball, oh my god, I'm holding my heart.
HE DIDNT KNOWWW😭😭😭😭😭😭 OH MY GOD IM SOBBING IM GOINGNDNSJ?????? He just really liked her all along omg this is amazing.
But his reaction is adorable like —"i knew it,” he murmured, more to himself than to you, as if the words had been lingering in the back of his mind all this time, just waiting to be spoken. “so this was why… why i’ve always felt this… pull towards you… no matter how much you tried to push me away.” —god this is so sweet
NOT READER RUNNING AWAY NOOO😭😭 and we see how it affected Tae no :(((( The moment on the day of the ball breaks my heart too no :(((
"i never should've left that night," you choked out, shaking your head, tears clinging to your lashes. "i should’ve turned back, should’ve looked at you, should’ve realized what was right in front of me." a single tear slipped down your cheek, warm against your skin, but you didn’t wipe it away. "i should’ve told you then," you hesitated, voice cracking, "i should’ve told you that it was always you." — oh my goodness :((( the kiss awwwww my heart is so full, I love that he still has the audacity to tease her after that like ugh
I loved this soso much Amia, it was so amazing, I will say it again, your way to carry the conversations while showing the dynamics between characters is amazing as it also shows the progression. This really was an amazing piece and I'm so glad I finally read it.
⸝⸝ blue hydrangeas ┈ kth.
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⸝⸝ IN a world where soulmates are tied by "soulblooms," flowers that manifest on the hand when touched by fate’s match, you have spent your life with an empty wrist and a guarded heart. but when a fleeting touch with taehyun—a boy you find insufferably perfect—awakens a blue hydrangea on your grasp, everything you thought you knew about fate, connection, and him, turned on its head.
pairings and tags. academicrival!taehyun x fem!reader . soulmate au. enemies to lovers . slowburn . grumpy x sunshine . forced proximity . slowburn . taehyun is a huge tease . tension !!!! not actually unrequited love? angst
word count. 29.7k
short note! it's finally here!!!! it was such an honor to work alongside such talented moas! i am beyond grateful to be part of something this special >< every moment spent working on this was filled with so much love and excitement, and i hope you all enjoy it as much as we did creating it!! <3
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you hated kang taehyun with every fiber of your being.
there was something about him that irked you to your very core, something that made your teeth grit and your stomach twist every time you were forced to be near him.
it wasn't just his irritatingly perfect smile, or his perfect grades, or his constant ability to somehow do everything just a little bit better than you, no. it was something more insidious—something about how effortlessly he seemed to exist in a world where everything was perfectly aligned in his favor. he was always better, always one step ahead.
and it wasn’t just in the classroom either. taehyun's reach extended far beyond that, into places where you thought you had some semblance of control. in the student council, for example, where you held the position of vice president—a role you worked your ass off to attain—taehyun somehow made being the president look like a walk in the park.
with his easy charm and flawless leadership, he outshone you at every turn. it wasn’t that you didn’t have the capacity for leadership, you knew you were just as capable. more capable. but taehyun? he was like a magnet, drawing the attention of everyone in the room with a simple flash of his smile, a soft laugh that echoed off the walls of the council room.
you hated how easy he made it look.
every time you thought you had finally gained some ground, taehyun would be there. standing just a little bit taller, a little bit more poised—effortlessly securing the praise, the respect, the adoration. it was maddening.
you hated him.
and yet, it wasn’t just the ways he made you feel small, it was how he never let you hide it. how, no matter how obviously you displayed your contempt for him, he remained annoyingly unfazed, like he could see right through the walls you tried to build. he never flinched, never reacted in the way you expected. he’d simply laugh, his voice low and warm, as though everything you did to push him away was just a minor inconvenience.
the worst part? taehyun was nice to you. you could never understand it.
it was almost like he reveled in it—like he enjoyed seeing you fume in frustration. he would do things like open doors for you, something so simple and innocent, yet it felt like a taunt. he’d hold the door wide, with that stupid, gentle smile of his. he would always ask how you were, even though it felt like a question that was both too casual and too personal, as if he could sense the tension in your voice, the subtle crack in your facade whenever you answered him.
you hated how taehyun made you feel seen, how he seemed to know you better than anyone else, even though you barely let anyone in. he noticed the way you hesitated, the way your voice would shake when you pretended not to care. it was infuriating. you’d shove it all down, but he’d always come back for more, always patient, always gentle, like a relentless force pulling at the edges of your defenses.
you hated that no matter how many times you tried to push him away, he would be right back the next day, like nothing ever happened. you’d look away, stubborn and angry, trying to ignore the faint flutter in your chest when he smiled at you. his smile—always so warm, so effortless—made everything worse. because deep down, you knew you hated it... but you couldn’t look away.
before you could shove the thought away, before you could shake off the way his gaze lingered just a second too long, the static hum of the intercom crackled through the classroom, making you flinch.
“president and vice president of the student council, please report to the principal’s office.”
the words rang in your ears, a sudden disruption to the taut thread of your thoughts. you let out a slow breath, forcing your shoulders to relax, pushing down whatever unwanted feeling had started to creep in.
you turned on your heel without another glance in his direction, your steps measured and purposeful as you headed towardss the door. the room buzzed faintly behind you, students murmuring about why the two of you were being called this time. probably another event to oversee, another responsibility stacked onto the ever-growing pile. 
but just as you reached the door, he moved ahead of you, stopping right at the threshold. his hand rested lightly against the frame as he turned back, expression as unreadable as ever—soft yet calculated, warm yet knowing.
“after you,” taehyun says smoothly, tilting his head ever so slightly.
your eyes flickered to him, lingering for only a second before you scoffed. of course. always so proper, so polite. always so perfectly composed.
“just go, kang.” your voice was clipped, your patience thinning at the edges.
but he didn’t budge. instead, a small chuckle escaped him, low and unhurried, like he found your irritation amusing. he remained still, waiting, that same infuriatingly gentle smile tugging at his lips.
for a moment, you considered pushing past him, ignoring his presence entirely. but something about the way he stood there—calm, unshaken, as if he had all the time in the world—made your skin prickle. unwilling to prolong the moment, you rolled your eyes and stepped through first, feeling the weight of taehyun’s gaze trailing behind you as he finally followed.
the hallway was quieter than usual, the usual rush of students dwindling between periods. your footsteps echoed faintly against the polished floors, the rhythmic tap of your shoes the only sound filling the space between you. for once, you wished it would stay that way.
but taehyun was never one to let silence settle for too long.
“you did well on the last presentation,” he said, his voice cutting through the quiet with an ease that made your fingers twitch.
you kept your gaze ahead, eyes fixed on the stretch of hallway before you. “so?”
taehyun hummed, slow and thoughtful. “the teachers were impressed. even the principal didn’t have anything to correct, which is rare.”
there was something in his tone—something easy yet deliberate. you weren’t sure if he was just making conversation or if he was testing you, seeing how long it would take before you snapped at him.
your fingers curled at your sides. “is that supposed to mean something?”
taehyun let out a soft chuckle, hands tucked casually into his pockets. “it means you’re good at what you do.”
you stole a glance at him from the corner of your eye, but his expression remained neutral, unreadable. there was no teasing lilt to his voice, no smugness in his words. just a simple statement, spoken like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
you looked away, exhaling through your nose. “obviously.”
taehyun laughs, a quiet, breathy sound that sent a shiver up your spine. “you’re awfully cute when you’re smug.”
your steps faltered—just barely, just for a second—before you snapped your head towardss him with a sharp glare. “don’t say weird things.”
but he only smiled, eyes twinkling with something unreadable, something that made your stomach twist.
“it’s not weird if it’s true.”
your fingers twitched at your sides, a heat creeping up the back of your neck. you hated this. hated how easily he got under your skin, how effortlessly he chipped away at your walls like it was second nature to him. like he wasn’t even trying.
but more than anything, you hated that, despite everything, you never had it in you to stop him.
before you knew it, the office door was already looming ahead, its dark wooden surface polished to a near mirror-like shine, reflecting the dim glow of the hallway’s overhead lights. despite the countless times you had stood before it, waiting to be summoned inside for meetings, discussions, and the occasional reprimand over minor council disputes, it never failed to fill you with a familiar sense of dread. not because you feared the principal—he was reasonable enough—but because you knew that whatever awaited you beyond that door would inevitably mean more work, more responsibilities, and more time spent in taehyun’s infuriating presence.
your fingers twitched at your sides, itching to get this over with. but before you could reach for the handle, taehyun was already moving, stepping forward with that effortless confidence that made your teeth grind.
his knuckles met the wood in three firm, evenly spaced knocks—never too loud, never too soft. just right. of course.
then, without hesitation, he twisted the handle and pushed the door open, but instead of stepping through, he turned to you, that familiar, insufferably polite smile curving his lips.
“after you,” he says once again, his voice smooth, as if this wasn’t the hundredth time he’d done this.
your lips pressed into a thin, irritated line, and you felt the immediate, burning need to roll your eyes. instead, you inhaled sharply, resisting the urge to push past him just to spite him.
“stop doing that,” you muttered, stepping into the office without sparing him a glance.
behind you, taehyun let out a quiet chuckle, the sound low and warm, like he had been expecting your reaction all along. you could practically feel the amusement radiating off him as he followed you inside at an easy, unhurried pace, as if this was all some game to him.
the office was warm, the scent of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the faintest traces of old paper and polished wood. the large mahogany desk stood at the center, stacked neatly with files, reports, and what you assumed were upcoming event proposals.
behind the desk sat the principal, an older man with sharp, perceptive eyes that held a kindness just beneath their surface. his neatly pressed suit was accompanied by a tie that looked slightly askew, as if he had been rushing between meetings all morning. at the sight of you both, he offered a welcoming nod, his hands clasping together in front of him.
“ah, president, vice president,” he greeted, his voice carrying that authoritative weight you had grown used to. “thank you for coming on such short notice.”
you returned the gesture with a curt nod, holding your hands behind your back in an attempt to brace yourself for whatever was about to be dropped onto your already full plate. beside you, taehyun dipped his head in acknowledgment, his posture effortlessly composed.
the principal didn’t waste time, leaning forward slightly as he rested his forearms on the desk. his sharp gaze flickered between the two of you, a knowing glint settling in his eyes.
“i’m sure you both know what time of year it is,” he began, his tone measured, expectant.
your brows furrowed slightly, the question lingering in the air for only a second before taehyun, ever the perfect student, filled the silence.
“the winter ball,” he supplied smoothly, the answer rolling off his tongue like second nature.
the principal’s lips curled into a satisfied smile. “precisely. it’s one of our school’s most anticipated events, and this year, we want it to be even more memorable than the last.” he gestured towardss the neatly stacked files on his desk, his fingers tapping lightly against the topmost folder. “as always, we’re prepared to provide you with all the budget you need to bring it to life. however, the student council will be in charge of every aspect of the planning.”
your stomach twisted.
of course it was. as if the student council didn’t already have enough responsibilities—event coordination, student affairs, disciplinary oversight—now you had to organize the biggest event of the year on top of everything else.
your fingers curled slightly at your sides, a quiet sigh threatening to escape before you swallowed it back.
“understood,” taehyun said without missing a beat, his tone carrying that same unwavering confidence he always spoke with. “we’ll handle everything.”
your eyes snapped to him, barely concealing your incredulity. we? we weren’t the ones who would end up buried in logistical nightmares and last-minute disasters. you were. while taehyun would breeze through meetings with his stupid, easy charm, you’d be the one pulling late nights, making sure every detail was perfect.
but of course, he looked completely at ease, his expression betraying none of the stress you already felt settling onto your shoulders.
the principal nodded in approval, leaning back in his chair. “good. i expected nothing less.” he glanced between the two of you once more before offering a small, knowing smile. “i trust that the two of you, along with the rest of the council, will make this year’s ball unforgettable.”
as the meeting wrapped up, you and taehyun dipped into a synchronized bow, offering the principal a respectful farewell before turning towardss the door. you moved first, your steps quick and purposeful, eager to escape the weight of expectations that had just been placed on your shoulders.
the moment you stepped out into the hallway and the door clicked shut behind you, the sigh you had been holding back finally slipped past your lips. it was long and heavy, filled with every ounce of exasperation you had swallowed down in that office.
taehyun must have noticed, because just as you were trying to compose yourself, you caught the slightest movement from the corner of your eye—his hand, lifting ever so slightly, as if to place a reassuring touch on your shoulder.
you moved away before he could.
your sharp glare met his gaze, and for a second, the air between you crackled with tension. his hand dropped back to his side, but the teasing curve of his lips remained.
“don’t,” you warned, voice flat.
taehyun let out a soft chuckle, utterly unbothered. “what? i was just going to tell you that you’re gonna do great.”
“oh, shut up,” you muttered, rubbing your temple as if that would somehow ease the headache forming at the thought of the endless planning ahead. “this is a lot of work. again. do they not realize how much we already do?”
taehyun hummed in thought, shoving his hands into the pockets of his blazer. “well, to be fair, the winter ball is a big deal. people look forward to it all year. it makes sense they want to go all out.”
“great. good for them,” you deadpanned. “meanwhile, i’ll be drowning in event proposals, budgeting spreadsheets, and people asking if we can add a ‘winter wonderland’ theme for the fourth time.”
taehyun chuckled, tilting his head slightly as he glanced at you. “you’re being dramatic.”
you shot him an exasperated look, one that should’ve been enough to burn through his unshakable confidence. should’ve been, but of course, this was kang taehyun you were dealing with—unfazed, infuriating, and always ready with some smooth remark that made your blood boil.
“oh, am i? am i really, kang?” you seethed, voice laced with frustration. “because guess who’s going to be stuck micromanaging everything while everyone else just throws out random ideas and disappears?”
taehyun blinked at you, the picture of innocence. “us?”
you let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head as you leveled him with a sharp glare. “me,” you corrected, jabbing a finger against your chest. “because you’ll probably just sit there smiling and nodding while i suffer.”
his laughter came easily, light and unhurried, like the idea of your impending misery was genuinely amusing to him. the corners of his eyes crinkled in that stupidly endearing way, and for a moment, you forgot what you were mad about.
“come on, give me some credit,” taehyun replies, and before you could take a step back, he nudged your arm playfully—so effortless, so natural, like touching you was just second nature to him. you recoiled instantly, pulling away before the warmth of his skin could linger against your jacket. “i help out a lot too. i mean, i am the president.”
“oh, please,” you scoffed, folding your arms over your chest like a barrier, like it would somehow protect you from his relentless confidence. “you showing up to meetings with an iced americano and nodding along to whatever’s being said is not helping.” taehyun’s grin widened, all sharp amusement, like he was enjoying this far more than he should. “hey, that’s unfair. sometimes i write stuff down.”
“you doodle.”
“art is important for brainstorming.”
you shot him a deadpan look. “so is actual brainstorming.”
but taehyun didn’t waver. his smile softened just a fraction, the teasing edge in his tone giving way to something quieter, something dangerously close to sincerity.
“i do mean it,” taehyun said, and this time, he didn’t laugh. didn’t flash that insufferable, knowing smirk. didn’t lace his words with teasing or smug amusement. instead, his voice came quieter, steadier—like an oath meant to be kept. “i’m not just going to let you do all the work. i’ll help, i promise.”
his words should have rolled right off you, should have been easy to dismiss like every other time he made empty assurances with that effortless confidence of his. but something about the way he said it—the way he looked at you—made you pause for just a fraction of a second too long.
you scoffed again, but the usual sharpness in your voice was missing, dulled by the unexpected sincerity lingering between you. “i know you,” you muttered, grasping for the familiar rhythm of irritation that kept you balanced around him. “you’ll just charm everyone into doing things for you while i handle the logistics.”
taehyun’s grin stretched wider, his eyes glinting with something dangerously playful—like you had just unknowingly handed him the perfect setup for a joke. “well, yeah,” he admitted with a casual shrug, the corners of his lips twitching. “that’s called teamwork.”
you groaned dramatically, tilting your head back, pressing your fingers against the bridge of your nose as if you could physically push away the headache he was undoubtedly going to give you. “you are so—”
“but,” he cut in smoothly, and there was something in his tone that made you drop your hand and actually look at him. he wasn’t done. “since you’re so convinced i’m just going to sit back and make you do everything, let me put it on record—i’ll be in charge of buying the decorations. i’ll help with booking the venue, the catering, and dealing with the faculty.”
your arms, which had been folded tightly against your chest, slackened just slightly.
“i’ll help set up, too,” taehyun continued easily, ticking things off on his fingers like he was reading off a checklist. “and—” he shot you a knowing glance, “—i’ll make sure no one dumps last-minute work on you like they always do.”
your mouth opened—whether to argue or to question him, you weren’t even sure—but nothing came out.
taehyun noticed. he always did.
“what?” he teased, leaning in slightly like he was studying your reaction up close. “shocked into silence? i should say sincere things more often.”
you snapped out of it, glaring as you stepped back. “i just didn’t expect you to actually think about any of this.”
“what, you think i don’t pay attention?” taehyun hummed, tilting his head. “i know you do all the heavy lifting every year. i know you always end up picking up the slack when people flake. and i know you’d rather pretend you don’t care than let anyone see you stressed about it.”
taehyun smiled, but it wasn’t smug this time. it was softer. easier. genuine.“so, yeah,” he said, as if his words hadn’t just shaken something loose inside you. “i’ll help. properly.”
you swallowed, forcing yourself to scoff, to keep your defenses up. “yeah, well,” you muttered, looking away. “you better.”
he chuckled, unfazed as always. “see? we’re making progress already.”
“i hate you.”
“no, you don’t,” he said, and the worst part was that he sounded like he knew it. ꒰💐꒱ the student council room buzzed with the quiet shuffle of papers and the faint hum of conversation as the members gathered around the long wooden table, settling into their seats. the late afternoon sunlight filtered in through the windows, casting elongated shadows across the polished surface.
you sat near the head of the table, arms crossed, posture composed, but your patience already thinning before the meeting had even begun. beside you, taehyun leaned forward slightly, his usual composed expression unreadable as he flipped through a neatly organized binder—probably filled with notes and plans that he had somehow managed to put together in the few hours since you both left the principal’s office.
the moment the last person took their seat, you cleared your throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “alright, let’s get this over with,” you said, ignoring the amused glance taehyun shot your way. “as you all know, the winter ball is coming up, and since the school is giving us the budget we need, it’s up to us to handle all the planning.”
taehyun, ever the composed leader, leaned forward with his arms resting against the table, scanning the three of you with his usual unreadable expression. “which means first things first,” he says, “we need a theme.”
a beat of silence followed, filled only by the distant chatter of students lingering in the hallways and the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. then, with a loud thud, beomgyu—who had been balancing his chair precariously on two legs—let it drop back down, the abrupt sound making jiwon, the treasurer, flinch. he leaned forward, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his palm, his eyes glinting with easy confidence. "what about… a black-and-white party?"
you blinked, eyebrows furrowing. “you mean… just two colors?”
"yeah," beomgyu confirmed, nonchalant. "like, everyone wears black or white. sleek. simple. no weird decorations." he shrugged as if he had just solved an age-old dilemma, clearly satisfied with himself. "it’ll be easy."
taehyun hummed, tapping the end of his pen against his notebook in thought. "it’s not bad, but it might be too minimal. people like having something to work with beyond just a color palette."
you nodded, already envisioning how utterly lifeless it would be. "and it could get boring fast. we need something with more… i don’t know. atmosphere."
before beomgyu could defend his idea, jiwon suddenly straightened in his seat, his perfectly styled hair falling slightly over his forehead as he tilted his head in what you knew was supposed to be a calculated display of charm. “hmm,” he mused, twirling his pen between his fingers. “what about an enchanted garden theme? twinkling fairy lights, roses everywhere, maybe even a little love-seat corner for couples…” his eyes flickered towardss taehyun, the end of his sentence laced with a easy lilt. “it’d be so cool, don’t you think, taehyun?”
taehyun, either genuinely oblivious or just expertly unfazed, regarded him with a blank expression, blinking once. “...that’s just a prom with plants.” jiwon’s smile faltered for half a second before he recovered, running a hand through his neatly styled hair. “well, not just a prom! we could—”
“it’s a winter formal,” taehyun cut in smoothly, his tone polite but unwavering. “not a midsummer night’s dream.” jiwon huffed, his expression tightening for a split second before he forced another airy laugh, though the slight flicker of irritation in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by you. “fine. whatever,”
taehyun paid him no mind, glancing at the rest of you. "anyone else?"
beomgyu, who was still highly entertained by the exchange, perked up once more, his lips stretching into a grin. "okay, okay," he sighed, lifting his hands in mock surrender. "what if we do… a retro neon theme?"
you, taehyun, and jiwon turned to look at him at the exact same time, identical expressions of sheer disbelief written across your faces.
“…beomgyu,” you deadpanned, eyeing him as if he had just suggested you all hold the event in a convenience store parking lot. “this is a winter formal.”
beomgyu blinked innocently. “yeah, and?”
taehyun tilted his head slightly, looking at him as if he were trying to decipher an alien language. “so, you want people to slow dance under fluorescent pink lights?”
beomgyu crossed his arms, clearly standing by his idea. “who said anything about slow dancing? picture this—electric blues, neon signs, a dance floor that actually lights up. vintage, but modern.”
you stared at him. “that literally makes no sense.”
beomgyu groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. "you guys are impossible.”
before another argument could erupt, jiwon clapped his hands together, his eyes brightening with excitement. "ooh! what about a winter wonderland?"
you physically felt your soul leave your body. slowly, deliberately, you turned to face him, fingers tightening around your pen. "jiwon," you said, voice calm yet edged with thinly veiled exasperation, "it is already winter. people are literally living in a winter wonderland right now."
he pouted slightly, tilting his head as if that would somehow make his idea sound more appealing. "but we could make it cute! like, snowflakes everywhere, and maybe a big fake ice castle—"
“so… the exact same theme the school has used like four times before?” beomgyu interjected, raising an eyebrow.
jiwon frowned, tapping his pen against the table in thought. “well, i mean… yeah, but it’s classic.”
you exhaled through your nose, pressing your fingers against your temple. classic or not, it was painfully predictable, and if you had to sit through another event drowning in fake icicles and blue-tinted lights as if you were in the antartica, you were going to lose your mind.
“we need something fresh,” you muttered. “something that actually makes people excited to go.”
taehyun glanced at you, a knowing glint in his eyes. "so, you want something that stands out?"
you turned to him, narrowing your eyes. "obviously." beomgyu, who had been silent for a beat too long, suddenly leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head. “alright, then.” he let his arms drop back down, his gaze flickering between the three of you before a slow grin curved on his lips. “what about a masquerade ball?”
the room went quiet.
taehyun’s pen stilled between his fingers. you turned your head just in time to catch the way his gaze flickered to yours, brows raising slightly in silent acknowledgment. huh.
you narrowed your eyes, already seeing the gears turning in his head.
he knew.
you knew.
and beomgyu, perceptive as ever, caught onto the silent exchange in an instant. his grin widened, mischief flickering behind his eyes as he leaned forward, bracing his forearms against the table. “what’s with the looks? did i just blow your tiny little minds?”
you scoffed, but the corners of your lips twitched, betraying your amusement. “please. let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
taehyun hummed, drumming his fingers against his notebook, the sound a steady, thoughtful rhythm. “she’s right. however, it’s actually a solid concept.”
beomgyu clutched his chest dramatically, leaning back in his chair like he had just been struck by an arrow. “oh my god. did the two scariest people in student council just agree with me?”
jiwon, who had been slouching in his seat ever since his winter wonderland idea got shot down, straightened up slightly, interest piqued. “so… like those fancy, mysterious balls in movies?”
“exactly,” beomgyu confirmed, voice brimming with satisfaction. “dim lighting, chandeliers, intricate masks—people get to dress up and pretend to be someone else for a night.” he wagged his brows. “cool, isn’t it?”
taehyun ignored his theatrics, already scribbling down notes. “formal but not boring. atmospheric without being overly complicated. it works.”
you tapped a finger against your chin, pretending to deliberate. “hmm. it does sound good, but i don’t know, gyu. the fact that it came from you makes me a little skeptical.”
beomgyu gasped, feigning betrayal as he placed a hand over his heart. “come on, don’t you have faith in me?.”
you smirked, tilting your head. “oh, i have faith in you. just not in your taste.” “says the girl who still thinks vanilla ice cream is the superior flavor,” beomgyu shot back, eyes gleaming.
your jaw dropped. “what does that have to do with anything?”
taehyun, barely glancing up from his notes, murmured, “she’s right, though. it’s a classic.”
beomgyu let out an exasperated groan, throwing his hands up. “oh, so she gets a pass for being boring, but i make one suggestion and suddenly—”
“masquerade it is,�� taehyun interrupted smoothly, tapping his pen against the page for emphasis. “it’s decided.”
beomgyu sat up a little straighter, his usual playful arrogance giving way to something softer—something closer to pride. he actually contributed something worthwhile, and he knew it.
you glanced around the table, noting the shift in energy. what started as a frustrating mess of half-baked ideas had finally settled into something concrete. something promising.
as the meeting neared its end, the room gradually emptied, leaving behind the quiet remnants of rustling papers and the faint echo of footsteps against the tiled floor. beomgyu was the first to sling his bag over his shoulder, stretching his arms high above his head with a satisfied groan. he looked far too pleased with himself, as if he had just single-handedly saved the winter formal instead of throwing out the most ridiculous suggestions until he accidentally landed on the perfect one.
“alright, my job here is done,” he announced, adjusting his strap before flashing a lopsided grin at you and taehyun. “don’t stay too late, lovebirds.”
“we are not—” you started, only for beomgyu to duck out the door before you could finish.
you let out a frustrated huff, but before you could dwell on it, jiwon stepped forward, his movements unhurried as he gathered his things. he lingered near taehyun’s side, adjusting the strap of his bag with an easygoing air, as if trying to find the right words.
“hey,” he started, offering a small, casual smile, “if you ever need help with anything, you can call me. you know, student council teamwork and all.”
taehyun, ever the picture of polite indifference, barely spared him a glance. “sure, noted.”
jiwon hesitated, clearly expecting something more—maybe a nod of acknowledgment, maybe even a small thanks—but when taehyun remained as detached as ever, he let out a short laugh, shaking his head as if to brush it off. “right. see you guys later, then. goodluck!”
and then, it was just you and taehyun.
the door clicked shut behind him, sealing your fate.
you exhaled, resting your elbows against the table before letting your forehead drop against the cool surface. “this is cruel and unusual punishment.”
taehyun barely looked up from his notes. “it’s called responsibility.”
you groaned. “i have plenty of responsibilities, thank you very much. this just happens to be the one i want to run from the most.”
“too bad.”
taehyun’s tone was frustratingly even, the very definition of someone who had already accepted his fate. you peeked up at him through your arms, watching as he methodically sorted through the remaining paperwork, his expression unreadable. it was strange. you were used to him being sharp, snarky, always finding ways to make your life harder rather than easier. but right now?
right now, he was just… doing the work. without complaint. without prodding.
you slowly sat up, watching him with narrowed eyes.
“okay, what’s your deal?”
taehyun finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. “what?”
“you.” you gestured vaguely at him, then at the neatly arranged papers in front of him. “you’re being helpful. like, actually helpful. it’s weird.”
his lips curled slightly, though the amusement didn’t quite reach his eyes. “i told you i’d help, didn’t i?”
“yeah, but not like.. this..” 
he huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head before flipping through one of the documents. “you seriously underestimate me.”
“i seriously don’t.” you crossed your arms. “which is why i’m suspicious.”
taehyun sighed, tapping his pen against the table. “if it makes you feel better, i’ll handle the layout and catering logistics. you can start drafting the seating arrangements.”
you stared at him.
he stares back.
“…you already planned half of this, didn’t you?”
his silence was answer enough.
you blinked, momentarily thrown off by the sheer efficiency of it all. then, something flickered in his expression—something almost unreadable, something sincere—and suddenly, you didn’t know where to look.
“i told you,” taehyun murmured, his voice quieter now, as if he didn’t want to break whatever fragile moment had settled between you, “i’ll help.” you huffed out a breath, pushing aside the odd weight pressing at the edges of your mind, and refocused on the papers spread before you. whatever strange moment had just passed between you and taehyun—whatever flicker of something that had settled in the quiet between you—it didn’t matter. you had work to do.
the room sank into a silence that, against all odds, felt… natural. not suffocating, not strained, not heavy with the usual tension that came with being near taehyun for too long. it was a stark contrast to the earlier chaos of the meeting, the air now humming with something softer—less sharp edges, less sharp words.
it was almost unsettling how easily you both worked like this.
every now and then, one of you would break the silence.
“do we need to confirm the dj by the end of the week?”
“yeah, and the photographer too.”
or—
“should we let people vote for their own ball court, or do you think it’ll just turn into a popularity contest?”
“kang, every ball court is a popularity contest.”
for once, there were no playful jabs, no attempts to rile each other up—just efficiency. a rare, mutual understanding.
and yet, the hours dragged.
outside, the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, casting the room in streaks of orange and pink, elongating shadows across the table. the once-bright fluorescent lights above now felt too harsh, highlighting the exhaustion that had begun creeping into your bones. the weight of the day settled over you in increments—shoulders aching, head growing heavier, eyelids drooping ever so slightly.
then, as you were scanning through a list of venue restrictions, a yawn tore its way out of you before you could stop it.
taehyun’s head lifted at once. “tired?”
you blinked at him, rubbing your eyes as inconspicuously as possible. “no.”
his gaze flickered towardss you, sharp yet unreadable. “you should just go home. i can finish the rest.”
you scoffed, dropping your hand from your face. “what, and let you mess everything up? not on my watch.”
his brows raised slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching. “mess everything up? bold words, considering i’ve been handling student council work longer than you have.”
“exactly,” you countered, deadpan. “which means i know what you’re capable of, and frankly, it’s concerning.”
taehyun exhaled, shaking his head in mock disbelief. “you really don’t trust me with this, huh?”
“would you trust you?”
his lips curled, eyes glinting with amusement. “i trust myself way more than i trust you.”
you let out an exaggerated gasp. “excuse me?”
“you heard me.”
“taehyun, i carry the weight of this council on my back, and you know it.”
he let out a soft chuckle, leaning back in his chair. “right, because your world would fall apart if you admitted i actually help out around here.”
you narrowed your eyes, pointing a pen at him. “if you actually helped, i wouldn’t be here right now.”
“or maybe,” he mused, tilting his head, “you just like spending time with me.”
you nearly choked.
“as if,” you spluttered, eyes widening.
taehyun smirked, seemingly satisfied with your reaction. “so dramatic.”
you let out an exasperated groan, dragging a hand down your face. “you’re insufferable.”
“and yet, you’re still here.”
“because i have to be,” you shot back.
he hummed, tapping his fingers against the table. “alright, then. let me—”
without thinking, your hand shot out, curling firmly around his wrist.
your breath caught in your throat, the moment stretching impossibly thin, charged with something you couldn’t name. your fingers were wrapped around the bare skin of taehyun’s wrist, his pulse thrumming steadily beneath your touch—warm, solid, real.
taehyun stilled.
for once, he looked just as caught off guard as you felt, his gaze flickering downward, lips parting slightly. you could see the exact moment realization dawned on him, something shifting in his expression, his breath coming just a fraction sharper.
but neither of you moved.
the air between you thickened, something unspoken curling into the space left behind by your bickering. your heart pounded against your ribs, so loud, you were convinced he could hear it. your palm burned against his skin, a sensation you weren’t sure was entirely physical.
you ripped your hand away, as if you had been scorched.
taehyun blinked at you, his expression unreadable, caught between something unreadable and something almost… curious. then, his lips twitched, the ghost of a smirk forming, though this one was softer—less teasing, more thoughtful.
“okay, okay,” he said, voice quieter now, almost teasing but not quite. “i’ll let you finish your own work.” you barely heard taehyun’s voice. barely registered the joyful lilt of his words or the soft chuckle that followed.
because something felt wrong.
not wrong in the way that set off alarms in your head—not danger, not fear—but something different. something foreign pressing against the edges of your awareness, unfamiliar yet impossibly warm. your wrist tingled, the sensation starting as a faint whisper beneath your skin before deepening into something more insistent, something that crawled up your arm like a quiet, lingering heat. it wasn’t painful, but it burned in a way that made your breath catch, a way that made your fingers curl against the table as if grounding yourself would somehow steady the sudden unease settling in your chest. your brows furrowed as the warmth pulsed again, slow and steady, like a heartbeat against your palm. for a second, you tried to ignore it, forcing your focus back onto the scattered documents before you. but the feeling refused to fade, refused to be dismissed as something inconsequential. it lingered, curling beneath your skin, insistent, waiting. a strange, quiet whisper of a sensation that made something stir uneasily in your chest.
your fingers twitched.
the urge to check clawed at you.
hesitantly, almost cautiously, you turned your palm over. your breath felt uneven, the steady rhythm of your chest rising and falling suddenly harder to control. your fingers flexed once, twice, before finally, with a sharp inhale, you reached for the sleeve of your jacket.
you hesitated.
just for a second.
then, slowly, you peeled the fabric back—
and you felt your breath hitch.
there, resting in the curve of your palm, was a single blue hydrangea.
it was small, delicate, impossibly soft-looking, its petals shimmering faintly with an ethereal glow. the light was subtle, barely noticeable, but it was there, a quiet pulse of something that shouldn’t be real. your eyes widen, your chest tightening, the air around you suddenly feeling too thick, too heavy, as if the weight of the moment itself was pressing down on you, demanding to be acknowledged. your fingers twitched again, hesitant, unsure, before finally moving—just barely grazing the petals. they were cool beneath your fingertips, soft as silk, fragile in a way that made your stomach twist. and yet, the moment you made contact, a warmth surged through you—different from before, deeper, curling through your chest, spreading outward in gentle waves, like ripples disturbing still water.
panic clawed at your ribs.
this wasn’t real.
it couldn’t be real.
cautiously, carefully, you lifted your gaze—
taehyun wasn’t even looking at you.
he was still focused on his own work, completely unaware of the storm unraveling within you. his expression remained neutral, his hands moving with practiced ease as he gathered the last of the documents, his posture relaxed as if nothing had happened. he hadn’t noticed the way you had frozen. he hadn’t heard the sharp breath that had caught in your throat. he hadn’t felt what you had felt.
you sat there, staring, mind spinning in frantic circles, barely registering the movement of his hands, the faint sound of paper rustling as he organized everything into neat stacks. he was still working. he had moved on.
your fingers tightened around your sleeve, pressing the fabric into your palm, concealing the impossible proof still resting there.
taehyun had no idea.
he hadn’t seen it.
but you had. suddenly, the way taehyun had been looking at you earlier—the way his voice had softened when he told you he’d help, the way his fingers had tapped against the table absentmindedly, as if waiting for something—felt different.
suddenly, the small, glowing flower sitting against your skin felt heavier than anything you had ever held.
your stomach twisted, fingers still curled tightly around your sleeve as you forced yourself to keep your expression neutral, to act as if your world hadn’t just been turned upside down.
but deep down, you already knew.
taehyun was your soulmate.
the chair scraped against the floor as you pushed back suddenly, the legs dragging loud and jarring against the quiet that had settled between you and taehyun. the movement was too sharp, too abrupt, and when you stood, a wave of dizziness hit you like a punch to the chest. taehyun’s head snapped up at the sudden movement, brows knitting together in something close to confusion. “where are you going?” his voice was steady, but there was a slight edge to it—one that might’ve gone unnoticed if your heart wasn’t already hammering in your chest. “i thought you wanted to stay?”
you swallowed, trying to mask the way your breath felt uneven, the way something inside you trembled like a frayed wire sparking against itself. “i—” your throat felt dry. you shook your head, barely able to string together a convincing excuse. “i-i just remembered i have something to do.”
taehyun’s eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze sharp and assessing as he leaned back in his chair. “really?”
you exhaled sharply, trying to pull yourself together, trying to keep your feet moving before you did something foolish. “yes, really,” you bit out, words a little too rushed, too forced. you took a step back, then another. “i should go.”
“now?” taehyun’s voice carried a note of incredulity, as if he was trying to make sense of the contradiction. just minutes ago, you had argued tooth and nail about staying, yet now, here you were, bolting for the door like something was chasing you.
you nodded once, stiffly, pressing your lips together. “yes. now.”
before he could say anything else, before the weight of his gaze could pin you down, you spun on your heel and hurried for the door. your heart thundered violently against your ribs, your pulse roaring in your ears, but you didn’t stop. you couldn’t.
the cool evening air hit you like a shock to the system when you finally stepped outside, your lungs burning with the weight of everything you had just run from. but even then, even with the distance now stretching between you and taehyun, your fingers curled instinctively tighter around your sleeve, as if the mere act of holding it close could somehow make the truth disappear.
but it didn’t.
because pressed against your palm, glowing softly beneath the fabric, the tiny blue hydrangea still remained. ꒰💐꒱ you couldn't sleep.
you lay on your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, but the silence in your room was anything but peaceful. it was suffocating—thick and pressing, curling around your ribs like invisible vines, making it impossible to breathe. every time you closed your eyes, you saw it. that flower. delicate and impossibly vibrant, glowing softly against your palm as if mocking you. and with it came the realization you still weren’t ready to accept, the one that had rattled you so deeply you could barely think straight.
kang taehyun was your soulmate.
your stomach twisted, a cold weight settling deep in your gut. it didn’t make sense. it couldn’t make sense. the universe, fate—whatever cruel force had determined this—must have made a mistake. had to have made a mistake. because out of all the people in the world, why him? why the one person you could barely stand, the one person who got under your skin like no one else could?
a frustrated breath tore from your lips as you sat up abruptly, shoving your blanket off. you couldn’t just sit here, drowning in the sheer absurdity of it all. your fingers reached for your phone, unlocking it in one swift motion before you began typing furiously into the search bar, your heart hammering so loudly it nearly drowned out the quiet hum of the device.
how to break a soulmate bond?
your thumb hovered over the screen as you hesitated, an uneasy feeling creeping into your chest.
then you pressed enter.
your eyes scanned the results, fingers scrolling hastily, only for a sharp sting of disappointment to hit you when the answers all read the same:
soulmates are predetermined from birth.a soulmate bond cannot be unbound.a soulmate connection is permanent.
your grip on your phone tightened.
you tried again.
can you reject your soulmate?can a soulmate connection fade?is there a way to erase a soulmate bond?
but again, every response remained cruelly, infuriatingly unchanged. your chest constricted, heat rising to your cheeks as frustration built like a storm inside you. you hated this. hated the idea that some unseen force had decided your fate without your consent, tying you to taehyun in a way you couldn’t even begin to understand.
your pulse pounded in your ears, but you forced yourself to keep reading, scanning through endless articles, forums, old folklore—anything that might give you a loophole.
and then, finally, you found something.
your eyes locked onto a passage buried within a lengthy explanation on soulmate manifestations. the words swam before you, but you forced yourself to focus, breath catching as you reread the key line over and over again.
"the flower will continue to appear until the bond is acknowledged and reciprocated."
you swallowed hard, gripping your phone tighter.
"only through mutual recognition—through intertwined touch—can the cycle be broken."
a shiver crawled up your spine, slow and deliberate, like a creeping realization settling deep into your bones. the weight of it pressed against your chest, making it harder to breathe, harder to think past the overwhelming truth that had been forced upon you. your stomach twisted at the thought. as long as he didn’t know—as long as you never let your hands fully intertwine—he wouldn’t find out. the flower would keep returning, yes, but it wasn’t permanent. it wasn’t an unshakable mark of fate binding the two of you together in an irreversible way.
your breath caught as you hesitated, then slowly peeled back your sleeve, heart hammering wildly against your ribs. but when your gaze flickered down—
nothing.
the flower was gone. a sharp exhale left you, a rush of relief so sudden it nearly made you laugh. it wasn’t a mark you were doomed to wear forever. it could be hidden, erased, kept entirely to yourself. your fingers curled into a fist, as if trying to physically trap the secret away, to hold it tight before it could slip through the cracks and ruin everything.
taehyun didn’t have to know.
you could keep this to yourself. you could pretend it never happened. as long as you avoided direct contact, as long as you stayed careful, the truth would remain buried. and taehyun—your soulmate—would never have to find out.
the thought should have been comforting, should have eased the sick feeling that had settled in your stomach. but it didn’t. because no matter how much you tried to ignore it, push it down, pretend it wasn’t real—
the fact remained.
the universe had chosen taehyun for you.
and worse—
it had chosen you for him.
you exhaled slowly, pressing your palms over your eyes as if the darkness behind your lids could somehow erase the thoughts running rampant in your mind. it was useless—no matter how much you tried to push it away, the truth remained, lodged deep beneath your skin like a splinter that refused to be ignored.
still, you had to at least try.
dragging in a breath, you shifted onto your side, curling beneath the covers in a last-ditch effort to find rest, even if only for a few fleeting hours. the room was silent, save for the faint ticking of the clock on your desk, a reminder of just how little time you had left before the world would start moving again. you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to focus on the steady rise and fall of your chest, on the softness of the sheets beneath your fingertips. if you could just empty your mind, even just for a moment.
but sleep never truly came.
instead, you drifted in and out of a restless haze, thoughts tangling and unraveling like threads in your mind. each time you closed your eyes, you swore you could still feel the lingering warmth against your palm, the faint ghost of a touch that had changed everything. and before you knew it, the sun had already risen.
a sliver of golden light filtered through your curtains, painting soft, dappled shapes across your walls. you barely had time to register the shift before your alarm blared to life, the sharp, grating sound pulling you straight back into reality.
with a heavy sigh, you rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling as exhaustion settled deep in your bones. the weight in your chest hadn't lessened overnight—if anything, it had only grown heavier, sinking deeper now that you had to face what came next.
school. preparing for the winter ball. more responsibilities.
and worse than that, taehyun.
your jaw tightened at the thought. there was no avoiding him. no ignoring his presence, no pretending he didn’t exist when he was the student council president, when you had to work with him to organize the ball, when he was everywhere. when, no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn't just erase him from your world.
but today, you had no choice but to pretend.
pretend like nothing had changed. pretend like you weren’t walking into the same room as the person you were now inexplicably tied to. pretend like he wasn’t your soulmate.with one last deep breath, you swung your legs over the side of the bed, steeling yourself for the day ahead.
as you got ready, the soft rustle of fabric filled the quiet of your room as you slipped into your jacket, fingers instinctively pulling the sleeves down past your wrists. you had always worn one out of habit, for comfort more than anything else, but today—it served a different purpose.
today, it was a barrier.
a thin layer of protection between you and the one person who could never know the truth.
your hands lingered for a moment, curling around the edges of your sleeves as if gripping them tighter would somehow ease the weight pressing against your chest. it didn’t. but still, you exhaled slowly, steeling yourself, before finally grabbing your bag and heading out the door.
as you got off the bus, the walk to school felt longer than usual. every step was heavy, your mind still tangled in the sleepless hours of the night before. the closer you got, the more you could feel it—that slow, creeping sense of unease settling in your bones, tightening its hold with each passing second.
but you kept your head low.
you had no interest in conversation. no interest in being perceived. the last thing you needed was someone taking notice of the way your mind was still reeling, the way your body was thrumming with something unsettled, something wrong.
“you in a hurry or something?”
your breath caught.
a voice. familiar. casual. far too easy going for how completely, utterly not easy this situation was. you didn’t have to look to know who it was. your fingers curled tighter around the strap of your bag, your knuckles turning faintly white from the force of your grip. as if holding on to something tangible could tether you, could anchor you to a reality that suddenly felt unbearably fragile.
his voice was light, threaded with that signature confidence that made your stomach curl uncomfortably.
"you practically ran out of the council room yesterday," taehyun mused, the curiosity in his voice so casual, so innocent, that it almost sounded like he wasn’t completely prying. but you knew better. taehyun never asked without reason. "thought you were so insistent on staying late and finishing up the work. kind of weird that you suddenly changed your mind."
your pulse stuttered.
so he noticed.
of course he did.
you forced yourself to keep your expression neutral, to fight against the tension creeping into your shoulders, the way your skin still buzzed with the weight of yesterday’s discovery.
"i changed my mind," you muttered, your voice clipped, carefully detached. "had more important things to do."
a hum. slow. drawn out. deliberate.
"oh?" taehyun says, his voice dipping ever so slightly, laced with a knowing lilt that sent an uncomfortable prickle down your spine. "that doesn’t sound like you. you never leave work unfinished, no matter how late it gets. if anything, you’d rather scold me for trying to leave early. i think that’s why it’s kind of… suspicious."
your fingers twitched. he was digging. picking at the cracks in your carefully composed exterior, sifting through the spaces where your walls weren’t quite thick enough. and you could feel it—the weight of his gaze as he examined you, silently cataloging every tiny inconsistency, every hesitation, every shift in your posture.
your stomach twisted.
he couldn’t know.
"look, i don’t know what you’re talking about," you said, feigning indifference, eyes fixed ahead. "i went home. did what i needed to do. end of story."
a silence stretched between you, thin yet impossibly dense.
"you’re a terrible liar."
the words were soft. simple. but they landed like a blow, striking something deep within you.
"seriously, what’s up with you?" taehyun continued, voice quieter now, softer around the edges, but no less insistent. his eyes were sharp, searching, tracing over your profile like he was trying to piece together a puzzle he wasn’t meant to solve. "you’ve been acting weird since yesterday. not just weird—weird in a way that actually bothers me. and that’s saying something."
your breath hitched before you could stop it, and for just a fraction of a second, your steps faltered.
it was slight—barely noticeable, barely anything—but taehyun caught it.
his gaze sharpened, quiet and unrelenting, brushing over the rigid line of your shoulders, the tightness in your grip, the way your breath had become just a little too controlled.
"seriously," he pressed again, more deliberate this time. "what’s going on with you? you don’t usually avoid eye contact like this. or, you know, sprint out of rooms like you just saw a ghost." he was watching you. waiting. reading between the spaces of your words, searching for something—an answer, a tell, the truth.
and it was too much.
too much when your thoughts were still tangled in the ghost of a blue hydrangea, too much when the memory of it felt like a brand against your skin, too much when your own chest felt like it was caving under the weight of what you could not let him know.
"i told you, it’s nothing!"
the word came out too fast, too sharp, too frayed at the edges, spilling into the space between you like a crack in fragile glass.
"nothing’s wrong, okay?" you snapped, exasperation bleeding into every syllable as you finally turned to glare at him. "i don’t know why you’re so fixated on this, but if i say it’s nothing, then it’s nothing!"
taehyun’s steps slowed, just barely, but enough for you to feel it.
then, after a beat, his lips curled.
"there’s my girl."
the words were light, teasing, but something about the way he said them—low, warm, unbearably fond—made your breath catch in your throat.
your stomach flipped.
heat crept up your neck, curling at the edges of your resolve, licking at the barriers you had so carefully built.
"don’t call me that," you snapped, voice edged with irritation, but the way your chest tightened betrayed you. taehyun only grinned wider, unfazed. "why not?” you let out a scoff, shoving past him with a force that felt more like fleeing than anything else, quickening your pace towardss the school entrance, desperate to put space between you, to shake off the warmth he left behind.
taehyun only chuckled, the sound rich with amusement, smooth and unbothered, trailing after you like a shadow you couldn’t escape.
as you and taehyun made your way towardss the principal’s office, you could still feel the weight of his earlier words clinging to your skin, but you forced yourself to push it aside, straightening your posture and steeling your expression as the two of you stepped into the office.
the principal greeted you both with a bright, approving smile, clearly pleased that the student council had taken the initiative to organize such an elaborate event. as you and taehyun pitched the ideas you had gathered from the meeting—the masquerade ball, the theme, the various activities planned—their expression only grew more delighted, nodding along enthusiastically.
"this all sounds wonderful!" he beamed, already reaching for the budget reports. "i'll grant you the funds you requested, and since this will require a lot of preparation, i'll allow you both to skip certain classes leading up to the event. just make sure to check in with your teachers and stay on top of your work."
you forced a polite smile, nodding in agreement, though internally, you grimaced at the thought of spending even more time with taehyun outside of your usual council duties. meanwhile, beside you, taehyun merely gave an easy, knowing grin, as if he could already sense your reluctance.
with the necessary approvals in hand, the two of you left the office and quickly made your way to find beomgyu and jiwon, easily spotting them in the hallway between classes. after explaining the situation, excusing them from their schedules, and going over the event details, the four of you gathered in the council room once again to divide the responsibilities.
"beomgyu, jiwon, you’ll be in charge of designing and putting up the promotional posters," taehyun started, his voice smooth and sure, as if he had already planned out the entire structure of the event in his head. "you’ll also be handling the setup for the photobooth and confirming everything with the dj and photographer."
beomgyu perked up at that, a spark of excitement in his eyes as he nodded. "oh, i have ideas already. don’t worry, the posters are gonna be a masterpiece." “so do i!” jiwon chimed in, nodding with a soft smile.
"good," taehyun said before turning to you. his gaze was steady, too steady, and you already had a bad feeling about what was coming. "that leaves us to handle the venue arrangements, the catering, and organizing the seating plans."
your stomach dropped.
"wait, what?" you blurted, brows knitting together. "why do i have to be paired with you? can't i switch?"
taehyun barely looked fazed, tilting his head in amusement. "because you’re the vice president, and i’m the president. it makes sense that we handle the major logistics together."
"but—"
"besides," he cut you off smoothly, a teasing lilt creeping into his voice, "you wouldn't want to leave all the important decision-making to me, would you? i might pick the absolute worst venue just to spite you."
you opened your mouth to protest, only to close it again when you realized he had you cornered. he knew you couldn’t let him handle this alone—not because you trusted his judgment, but because you absolutely didn’t.
your fingers clenched around the edge of the table before you finally let out a sharp exhale, shoulders dropping in reluctant defeat. "fine," you muttered, crossing your arms. "but if you make this unbearable for me, i swear—"
"i wouldn’t dream of it," taehyun interjected smoothly, lips quirking up in that ever-infuriating smirk of his.
beomgyu, watching the exchange, let out a low whistle, shooting you a look that was half amused, half pitying. "good luck," he mused, already turning towardss jiwon to start discussing the poster designs.
as much as you wanted to drag your feet and stall for time, taehyun was already leading the way towardss the computer lab, walking with that effortless confidence that somehow always managed to get under your skin. you followed begrudgingly, arms still crossed over your chest, every step weighed down by the unfortunate reality that you were stuck with him for this part of the planning.
the computer lab was mostly empty when you entered, save for a few students hunched over their screens, quietly typing away. the hum of the machines filled the air, the glow of the monitors casting a cool, sterile light over the room. taehyun wasted no time claiming a spot near the corner, settling into one of the chairs and gesturing for you to take the seat beside him.
reluctantly, you did.
"all right," he murmured, fingers already flying across the keyboard as he pulled up a search tab. "we need a venue that’s available in less than two weeks, big enough for the whole student body, and actually within our budget."
you scoffed, leaning back against your chair with an unimpressed look. "wow, really? i had no idea. it's not like i wasn’t at the meeting where we came up with this idea or anything."
taehyun barely spared you a glance, but you could see the corner of his mouth twitch. "just making sure we’re on the same page," he said smoothly, scrolling through a list of banquet halls. "i know how slow you can be sometimes."
your head snapped towardss him, eyes narrowing. "excuse me?"
he hummed, feigning deep concentration as he clicked through different options. "i mean, it took you ages to realize you liked working with me. maybe this will take just as long." "i do not like working with you," you shot back, voice low and sharp.
"mhm," he hummed, tilting his head. "whatever helps you sleep at night."
your fingers curled into fists as you resisted the urge to reach over and shove him off his chair. instead, you let out a long, slow exhale, rolling your shoulders before refocusing on the task at hand. arguing with him was getting you nowhere, and you refused to give him the satisfaction of throwing you off track.
"just focus," you muttered, pulling up a different search window. "we need to find a venue, not waste time on whatever nonsense is coming out of your mouth."
"you wound me," taehyun sighed dramatically, placing a hand over his chest. "but fine, i’ll behave. for now."
you didn’t believe that for a second.
the next minutes were spent in a tense yet oddly efficient silence, both of you scanning through listings, occasionally typing out emails or jotting down notes. but of course, peace was never meant to last when taehyun was involved.
"how about this one?" he asked suddenly, turning his screen towardss you. "it’s big, has great lighting, and look—it even comes with a dance floor."
you barely glanced at it before shaking your head. "too expensive."
"oh, so now you're frugal?" he teased, clicking his tongue. "you didn't seem to care when we were talking about decorations."
"because decorations actually matter," you retorted. "unlike whatever overpriced ballroom you're looking at right now."
"overpriced?" taehyun leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "you have no taste." "and you have no concept of budgeting," you shot back, matching his posture with a challenging stare.
he grinned. "fine. your turn. pick a place."
you turned back to your screen, scanning through the options until you found one that seemed promising—spacious, reasonably priced, and still available within your tight timeframe. with a victorious smirk, you turned your laptop towardss him. "this one."
taehyun hummed, skimming over the details. then, to your immense irritation, he shrugged. "eh. it's decent."
"decent?" you repeated, your eye twitching. "it's perfect."
"i don't know," he mused, dragging out the words. "it’s a little plain, don’t you think?"
"you're plain," you grumbled under your breath.
taehyun chuckled, shaking his head as he clicked on the venue’s contact page. "all right, i’ll admit—it’s not bad. let’s call and see if it’s available."
"thank you," you huffed, leaning back in your chair.
taehyun shot you a look, his smirk still annoyingly present. "see? wasn’t that fun?"
"you’re insufferable."
"oh, please," he said, spinning slightly in his chair, "we both know that’s not true."
you exhaled sharply, closing your eyes for a brief moment to collect what little patience you had left. taehyun wasted no time pulling out his phone, fingers tapping swiftly as he dialed the number listed on the venue’s website. you followed suit, opening your email and drafting a message to another potential location, your heart already sinking at the thought of waiting for replies.
"come on, pick up," taehyun muttered under his breath, tapping his fingers against the desk impatiently as the call rang. his expression remained neutral, but you could tell from the slight furrow of his brows that he wasn’t the biggest fan of uncertainty either.
you pressed send on your email, leaning back with a sigh. "i hate this part," you admitted, watching as the message disappeared into the abyss of cyberspace. "just sitting around, waiting, hoping someone actually gets back to us soon."
"patience, grasshopper," taehyun mused, shooting you a teasing glance before straightening when someone finally answered his call. "yes, hi," he said smoothly, his tone shifting into something professional yet casual. "i was wondering if your venue is available for a school event in—"
he suddenly went quiet. you watched as his lips pressed into a thin line, his expression darkening slightly.
"... oh," he said after a pause, voice flat. "i see. no, that’s fine. thanks anyway."
you already knew what had happened before he even ended the call. "booked?"
"booked," taehyun confirmed with a sigh, tossing his phone onto the desk. "for the next three months."
"great," you muttered, rubbing your temples. "just our luck."
"don't be so dramatic," taehyun teased, picking up his phone again. "we still have options. just gotta keep trying."
"yeah, yeah," you sighed, refreshing your inbox just in case. nothing yet. not that you expected an immediate response, but it didn't stop the impatience from creeping in. your fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard, the soft clicks filling the quiet space between you and taehyun as you sent out the last of your inquiries. with a sigh, you leaned back in your chair, rubbing your temples before glancing at him. "i'll start looking for catering too," you said, already pulling up a new tab. "no point in wasting time while we wait."
taehyun glanced up from his phone, his lips curling into an approving smile. "look at you," he mused, amusement laced in his tone. "so efficient. what would we do without you?"
you rolled your eyes. "fail, probably."
he chuckled, tilting his head as if considering it. "you might be right." then, before you could react, his hand lifted slightly, fingers reaching towardss your head, the familiar motion making it painfully clear what he was about to do.
your body reacts before your mind fully processed it. panic surged through you, a sharp, instinctual jolt of alarm shooting down your spine as you immediately ducked out of his reach. your chair scraped against the floor as you leaned away, eyes widening slightly before narrowing into a glare. "don’t," you snapped, voice sharp with warning.
taehyun blinked at you, startled for all of a second before a slow, knowing grin stretched across his face. "wow," he laughed, clearly entertained by your reaction. "didn't realize you hated me that much."
you scowled, heat prickling at the back of your neck. "i just don’t like being touched."
"uh-huh," he drawled, unconvinced, but he let it go, instead leaning back in his chair with a smirk that made you want to throw your laptop at him. "whatever you say."
you huffed, turning back to your screen with more force than necessary. ignoring the way your heartbeat was still uneven, you focused on scrolling through catering options, clicking on the ones that looked promising. taehyun, meanwhile, resumed his calls, his voice switching between polite and slightly frustrated as he dealt with yet another rejection.
"seriously?" he muttered under his breath after hanging up. "do people just book venues for fun? why is everything taken?" you barely spared him a glance, typing out another inquiry. "maybe the universe just enjoys watching you suffer."
taehyun exhaled a sharp laugh, shaking his head as he dialed another number. "if that's the case, then it really needs to get a new hobby." your lips parted slightly as a soft chuckle slipped out before you even realized it, the sound light and fleeting amidst the quiet hum of the computer lab. you didn’t dwell on it, simply shaking your head before shifting your focus back to your screen, fingers gliding over the keyboard as you continued to scroll through catering services, listing them down one by one in a growing document. beside you, taehyun remained engrossed in his own task, his voice occasionally dipping in and out of conversation as he made yet another call.
and so, the afternoon passed in a steady rhythm—clicks of the keyboard, the quiet murmur of emails being typed, the occasional sigh of frustration whenever another rejection came through. time blurred into an endless cycle of inquiries and planning, every second dedicated to ensuring the ball would come together despite the ridiculous time constraint.
but eventually, exhaustion began to creep in, a slow and subtle weight pressing against you. the lack of sleep from the night before clawed at your consciousness, your eyelids growing heavier with every passing moment. at first, you tried to fight it, blinking rapidly and straightening your posture, but it was no use. the lull of soft ambient noise, the gentle warmth of the room, the repetitive motions all pooled together into something dangerously lulling, and before you knew it, your head dipped slightly, your body leaning into the comfortable haze of rest.
meanwhile, taehyun was still fully engaged in his work, the tip of his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he skimmed through his emails. his patience was wearing thin after what felt like the hundredth rejection, but then, his screen lit up with a notification, a new message appearing in his inbox. when he opened it, his eyes widened slightly.
"finally," he breathed, his tone shifting from weary to triumphant in an instant. then, louder, "we got one! a venue just confirmed they’re available!" but no response came.
taehyun furrowed his brows, turning his head slightly. "hey, are you—"
he stopped mid-sentence.
his gaze landed on you, and for the first time that day, he fell completely silent.
your body was relaxed, posture softened in a way he’d never seen before. your breathing was slow, steady, your lashes resting lightly against your cheeks as you remained completely still. the exhaustion you had been so clearly fighting had finally won, lulling you into an unguarded moment of peace.
taehyun’s lips parted slightly as he took in the sight before him, the sharp edges of his usual teasing demeanor smoothing out into something gentler.
his eyes traced the curve of your cheek, the way a few stray strands of hair had fallen into your face, shifting slightly with each slow exhale. for a fleeting second, his fingers twitched, the urge to reach out and tuck them away bubbling up inside him.
but he hesitated.
he knew you wouldn’t like that. instead, taehyun simply sighed, a quiet, barely-there smile tugging at the corners of his lips. shaking his head to himself, he leaned back in his chair, voice a hushed murmur as he muttered,
"maybe another time." ꒰💐꒱ the world around you was slow to come into focus. a quiet groan slipped past your lips as you sat up, stretching your arms over your head, your body protesting the hours spent slumped over in an awkward position. your fingers moved to rub the sleep from your eyes, the lingering haze of exhaustion still clinging to you like a thick fog. for a moment, everything was a blur—the dim hum of computer screens, the distant echoes of muffled footsteps from outside, the faint glow of the overhead lights. but as your mind caught up with your surroundings, realization settled over you like a sudden jolt.
you were still in the computer lab.
blinking away the remnants of sleep, your gaze drifted over the space, taking in the faint glow of the monitors, the scattered notes, and the quiet that had settled into the room like a thick, undisturbed blanket. it was late. way too late.
but then, as your eyes continued to wander, they landed on something—or rather, someone. just beside you, head tilted ever so slightly to the side, arms loosely crossed over his chest, was taehyun. asleep.
you stilled.
for a long moment, you simply stared, your breath caught somewhere between surprise and something far too unnameable to grasp. taehyun was never this still, never this quiet. he was all sharp edges and smooth confidence, all witty remarks and knowing smirks. yet, in this moment, every single ounce of that usual energy had melted away.
your eyes traced the softened lines of his face, the way his lashes rested against his cheeks, casting delicate shadows against his skin. his lips, usually curved into something smug or teasing, were parted just slightly, his breathing even and unhurried. he looked… peaceful.
your fingers twitched slightly against your lap, as if unsure of what to do with themselves. you had never seen him like this before, had never had the chance to observe him without his usual air of unwavering self-assurance. your body moved before your mind could even begin to comprehend what you were about to do.
it was irrational. reckless, even. completely devoid of the careful distance you had sworn to maintain between the two of you. but despite every screaming thought urging you to stop, despite the warning bells ringing furiously in the back of your mind, your hand was already moving, trembling slightly as it hovered just above taehyun’s skin, caught in a delicate hesitation that lasted all but a second.
and then, before you could so much as blink, before common sense could come crashing down like a tidal wave and pull you away—
your fingertips brushed against his cheek.
warm.
taehyun was warm.
so impossibly warm that the contrast against the cool air of the computer lab sent a shiver down your spine. it wasn’t much—just the lightest touch, barely there, fleeting like a whisper of wind. so delicate it could have easily been mistaken for a trick of the mind.
but it wasn’t.
because the moment your skin made contact with his, an all-too-familiar heat unfurled across your wrist—burning, spreading, blooming like ink in water. your breath caught in your throat, your entire body stiffening as realization slammed into you with the force of a freight train.
oh.
oh no.
it was happening again.
the hydrangea—it was back. you didn’t even need to roll up your sleeve to check. you felt it, felt the warmth seeping into your skin like an irreversible brand, a cruel reminder of the connection you were desperately trying to ignore.
your heartbeat stuttered, then picked up pace, pounding against your ribs like it was attempting to escape. what have you done? what on earth had possessed you to—
a shift.
a breath.
a quiet inhale, followed by the faintest stir of movement.
taehyun was waking up.
your stomach twisted painfully, panic slamming into your chest with dizzying force as his body tensed slightly, as his lashes fluttered ever so faintly, as the slow pull of consciousness dragged him from sleep.
you ripped your hand away as if burned, shoving it into your lap, curling your fingers into the fabric of your skirt in a poor attempt to ground yourself. but the damage was already done. you had been too late.
taehyun’s eyes cracked open, hazy with sleep, dark irises unfocused as they attempted to adjust to the dim lighting. for a moment, he looked dazed, blinking sluggishly, his expression lost in the remnants of slumber. but then his gaze settled on you.
still sitting too close.
still stiff with the remnants of panic.
taehyun’s brows furrowed slightly, a quiet breath escaping his lips, his voice still heavy with drowsiness. “were you just—?”
“no.”
the word shot out of your mouth before he could even finish his sentence, abrupt and sharp, too quick, too defensive. you barely resisted the urge to flinch at how obvious it sounded, how guilty it made you seem.
taehyun blinked again, sluggish and confused, his gaze flickering between your face and the way you were suddenly clutching your hands together as if you were trying to physically restrain yourself. his gaze lingered for a second too long, sharp despite the remnants of sleep still clouding his features, and then, as if a switch had flipped, his lips stretched into that insufferable, knowing grin—the one that always meant trouble.
taehyun sat up straighter, stretching his arms out with a low hum before tilting his head towardss you, expression brimming with mischief. “so,” he drawled, eyes glinting, “are you gonna tell me what that was about, or should i start guessing?”
“nothing,” you muttered, a little too quickly, shifting in your seat, fingers curling tighter around the ends of your sleeves, your grip near suffocating as you tugged the fabric down as far as it would go.
taehyun leaned in slightly, feigning deep contemplation. “hm, you sure? because it really seemed like—”
“it wasn’t,” you snapped, gaze locked stubbornly on the desk, anywhere but at him, anywhere but those sharp eyes that always seemed to see far too much. “just thought you had dirt in your face.”
“you’re a terrible liar.”
“and you’re annoying.”
“a little defensive, don’t you think?”
your grip on your sleeves tightened further, fingers curling so desperately around the fabric that your knuckles turned white, nails pressing in with enough force that they nearly pierced through.
taehyun simply leaned back against his chair, smugness dripping from every inch of him as he studied you with lazy amusement. “what, did you get tired of glaring at me and decide watching me sleep was more entertaining?”
your patience, already worn dangerously thin, snapped. “i told you, it’s not what you think!” you groaned, pushing yourself up from your seat and shoving your things into your bag with far more force than necessary, each motion sharp and hurried—zipping up folders with a little too much vigor, stuffing loose papers inside with no care for whether they crumpled or not. taehyun’s grin only widened as he watched you all but stuff your things into your bag, each movement hurried and brimming with frustration. you could practically hear the amusement dripping from his voice as he tilted his head, unbothered by your growing irritation.
“you know,” he mused, stretching his arms out as if he had all the time in the world, “you’re acting really suspicious right now.”
you rolled your eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t get stuck. “oh, please. if anyone’s suspicious, it’s you.”
“me?” he gasped, placing a hand over his chest in mock offense, though the effect was ruined by the barely contained smirk tugging at his lips. “i just woke up, and now i’m being accused? unbelievable.”
“yeah, well, believe it,” you shot back, zipping up your bag with more force than necessary. “you’re always up to something.”
taehyun hummed, resting his chin on his hand as he studied you with lazy amusement. “you’re deflecting.”
“you’re projecting.”
he let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “this is the worst attempt at changing the subject i’ve ever seen.”
your grip on your bag strap tightened. “maybe if you shut up, we wouldn’t need to change the subject at all.”
taehyun only smirked, his eyes glinting in that way that always made your stomach twist. “so, let me get this straight,” he says, tapping a finger against his chin as if deep in thought. “you’re telling me you really weren’t just staring at me while i was sleeping? because from where i’m standing, it really looked like you were admiring me.”
your entire body went rigid. “i was not—!”
“no need to be shy,” taehyun continued, his voice syrupy sweet, the kind of tone that dripped with amusement and a touch of self-satisfaction, tilting his head just slightly, leaning into your space like he was savoring every second of your frustration. “i get it. i mean, you don’t get to see me this peaceful that often. i must’ve looked pretty cute, huh?”
your jaw nearly dropped, lips parting in sheer disbelief at the audacity—the absolute gall—he had to say that with a straight face. “oh my god. shut up.”
taehyun gasped again, clutching his chest as if you had just personally wounded him, eyes wide with faux shock, though the mischief never left his face. “you were watching me, weren’t you? i knew it!”
your fingers curled around the strap of your bag, knuckles turning bone-white from how hard you were gripping it, the pressure grounding you against the unbearable mix of panic and irritation bubbling in your chest. “you know what?” you huffed, your voice sharp and clipped, already done with this conversation before it could escalate any further. “i don’t have to stand here and listen to this.”
without another word, you spun on your heel, movements stiff with frustration as you stormed towardss the door, each step fueled by the desperate need to escape before he could dig any deeper into your flustered state. but, of course, taehyun was already up, barely missing a beat before falling into step beside you, effortlessly matching your hurried pace with infuriating ease. his laughter trailed after you like an ever-present shadow, light and teasing, his amusement practically radiating off of him.
“hey, don’t run away now,” he drawled, his voice laced with amusement, the playfulness evident in every syllable as he shot you a look that only made your irritation spike further. “i have more questions!”
you groaned, pressing your lips together in a firm line, refusing to dignify him with a response as you quickened your steps—but taehyun was right there, undeterred, his grin only widening as if he thrived on seeing you squirm.
as if sensing the utter exasperation radiating off you in waves, taehyun finally—mercifully—let the teasing subside, falling into step beside you without another word. you kept to yourself, keeping your gaze ahead, shoulders still slightly tense from the lingering remnants of his antics.
every now and then, your fingers twitched at your side before subtly moving to check your wrist, barely lifting the fabric of your sleeve as you stole a glance at the skin beneath. you weren’t sure why you kept looking, but each time, your stomach twisted with a strange mix of nerves and anticipation.
eventually, on what must have been your fifth or sixth check, you finally let out a quiet sigh, relief washing over you at the sight of bare skin. the soft exhale wasn’t loud by any means, but taehyun, ever perceptive, immediately picked up on it.
“what’s got you so relieved?” he chirped, his voice breaking through the quiet with an almost childlike curiosity.
you tensed for half a second before quickly schooling your features back into indifference, rolling your eyes as if to dismiss his question entirely. “none of your business,” you muttered, keeping your voice even, though you didn’t miss the way his gaze lingered on you for just a moment longer than necessary.
but instead of prying, which was something he would normally do just to get a rise out of you, taehyun simply smiled. not the usual smirk, not the playful glint of mischief, but something softer, something almost… fond.
“okay,” he said easily, like he wasn’t the least bit offended by your refusal to answer. the two of you walked in silence after that, the rhythmic tapping of your footsteps against the pavement filling the space between you. the air was crisp, carrying with it the distant hum of the city, the occasional rustle of leaves as the wind passed through.
after a while, taehyun spoke again, this time without any trace of teasing in his tone. “by the way, the venue’s set,” he said, glancing at you briefly before turning his gaze back ahead. “we got the confirmation while you were asleep. the deal’s all settled.”
you hummed at that, not quite looking at him as you muttered, “that’s good.”
another beat of silence stretched between you before something nudged at the back of your mind, something that had been lingering there ever since you had woken up in the computer lab. furrowing your brows slightly, you turned to him, your voice laced with mild confusion as you asked, “why were you sleeping too, anyway? you could’ve just gone home.”
taehyun barely blinked, as if he had been expecting the question. his expression remained as casual as ever, hands tucked into his pockets as he shrugged. “well, i couldn’t just leave you sleeping there all alone,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “and i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have liked it if i woke you up either, so…”
his voice trailed off, but the implication lingered between you. your steps faltered for just a fraction of a second, eyes flickering towardss him instinctively, but he wasn’t looking at you. instead, he just kept walking, his expression unreadable, as if what he had said wasn’t anything significant at all.
the silence lingered between you, stretching with each step as the station gradually came into view. the sky had dimmed to a deeper shade of blue, the distant hum of the city settling into its evening rhythm. streetlights flickered on one by one, casting pools of golden light onto the pavement, their glow catching in the strands of taehyun’s hair as he walked just a little ahead of you.
you weren’t sure why, but you found yourself slowing down, your feet moving with less urgency now that you were nearing your stop. it was strange; usually, by this point, you would’ve been itching to part ways, to shake off the exhausting push and pull that always came with being around taehyun. but tonight, the usual exasperation felt… muted. replaced by something quieter. something you couldn’t quite name. taehyun was the first to break the silence.
“well,” he said, stopping just before the steps leading down to the station. he turned to you then, hands still tucked into his pockets, his smile softer now, lacking its usual sharp edge. “guess this is where we part ways.”
you blinked, caught off guard by the sudden finality of it. but before you could even think of something to say, he was already stepping back, tilting his head slightly as he regarded you with something unreadable in his expression.
“don’t stay up too late,” taehyun added, and though his tone remained casual, there was a quiet sincerity beneath it, woven into the way his gaze lingered for just a second longer than necessary.
your fingers curled around the strap of your bag, tightening for reasons you didn’t quite understand. “yeah,” you muttered, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “you too.”
taehyun exhaled a quiet laugh, shaking his head as if amused by your halfhearted response. then, with one last glance, he turned, descending the steps with an ease that made it seem like this was nothing more than an ordinary parting.
but as you stood there, watching his figure disappear into the station, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed. that, for the first time, you weren’t entirely relieved to see him go. ꒰💐꒱ the next few days blurred into a whirlwind of endless tasks, a relentless cycle of emails, phone calls, and meetings that left little room for anything else. mornings bled into afternoons, and afternoons stretched deep into the night, each one spent buried under an ever-growing to-do list. it felt as if the four of you were caught in the eye of a storm—one of your own making—drowning in preparations with barely a moment to come up for air.
the student council room had practically become your second home, its once neat and organized space now overrun with scattered papers, sample designs, and half-empty cups of coffee that none of you had the energy to clean up. rolls of fabric for table decorations sat in one corner, half-unfurled and abandoned, while poster drafts covered every available surface, some marked with hurried notes and others discarded altogether. the air was thick with the scent of paper and ink, the soft hum of printers and the occasional frustrated groan the only constants in the chaos.
beomgyu and jiwon were deep into their share of responsibilities, bouncing between designing promotional posters and confirming song choices with the dj. beomgyu, ever the perfectionist, went through what felt like a hundred drafts, grumbling under his breath every time jiwon pointed out a detail he had missed. their bickering became white noise at this point—background music to the madness—though, to be fair, it was nowhere near as bad as yours and taehyun’s.
because while the two argued over shades of blue and font choices, you and taehyun had the far more tedious task of finalizing the seating arrangements and catering. it meant making endless calls, negotiating over prices, and somehow fitting everything within the budget. it meant working side by side for hours on end, forced to cooperate despite how often you got on each other’s nerves. and somehow, even in the midst of all this exhaustion, taehyun still found the time to tease you—throwing in an unnecessary comment every chance he got just to watch your patience wear thinner and thinner.
"what would you do without me?" he mused one afternoon, stretching his arms behind his head as he leaned back in his chair. "actually, don’t answer that. i already know—this whole event would be a disaster."
you didn’t even look up from your laptop. "i swear to god, kang, if you don’t shut up—"
"what?" taehyun grinned, feigning innocence. "you’d miss me."
your glare could’ve set something on fire.
but despite all of it—the chaos, the exhaustion, the relentless teasing—the ball was finally beginning to take shape. details were falling into place, confirmations were being made, and the days that once seemed endless were now hurtling towardss the event itself. there was still so much to do, but for the first time, it felt within reach. the halls of the campus were practically buzzing with anticipation, filled with the kind of excitement that only came around during events like this. everywhere you looked, people were either wrapped up in their own little worlds with their significant others or fluttering around in hopeful search of their soulmates, their eyes filled with that dreamy sort of longing. laughter echoed off the walls, whispered confessions were exchanged in corners, and the air itself seemed to hum with something light and intoxicating.
it was nauseating.
you rolled your eyes, a quiet scoff slipping past your lips as you adjusted the strap of your bag over your shoulder. the entire scene before you was so painfully cliché, it almost made your skin crawl. and yet, despite the irritation bristling at the back of your mind, there was something else beneath it—something quiet, something you didn’t want to name. a strange unease settled in the pit of your stomach, an odd sort of weight pressing against your chest.
but like always, you ignored it.
beside you, taehyun walked with easy strides, hands tucked into his pockets, the usual self-assured air about him. today, the two of you were heading out to check on the venue for the winter masquerade ball, making sure the decorations were all set and that everything was coming together smoothly. with only a few days left before the event, the pressure was starting to settle in, but for now, you were stuck navigating through the suffocating atmosphere of romance filling the campus.
taehyun, ever perceptive, caught the eye roll almost instantly.
"oh? what’s this?" his voice was dripping with amusement, and when you turned to look at him, he was already wearing that insufferably smug smirk. "jealous, aren’t we?"
your head snapped towardss him, shooting him a glare sharp enough to cut through steel. "excuse me?"
taehyun only laughed, clearly enjoying this far too much. "come on, it’s okay to admit it. all these happy couples, all these people finding their soulmates just in time for the ball—" he gestured lazily at the scene around you. "i get it. it must be hard, watching all this when you’re still so tragically alone."
your lips parted, utterly scandalized. "i am not—" you sucked in a breath, fingers curling into your sleeves as you struggled to find a proper retort. "oh, shut up. just because you have nothing better to do than pester me doesn’t mean you get to act like you’re above all of this."
he hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head as if he was actually considering your words. then, with a completely straight face, he replied, "oh, but i am above all of this."
you groaned, throwing your hands up in exasperation as you quickened your pace, determined to put some distance between yourself and his insufferable teasing. but, as always, he was right there beside you, matching your steps with ease, his laughter trailing behind him like an echo.
the crisp winter air greeted you the moment you stepped outside, biting at the exposed skin of your cheeks despite the layers of warmth wrapped around you. the sun hung low in the sky, its golden light diffused by thin clouds, casting long, spindly shadows across the pavement like delicate cracks in ice. you barely spared a thought for the route ahead, already expecting taehyun to lead the way towardss the bus station, except, when you glanced over, he was walking in an entirely different direction, his strides unbothered, as if this was the plan all along.
your steps faltered, boots scuffing against the pavement as you abruptly came to a halt, brows knitting together in confusion. your gaze followed his path, trailing after him as he moved further and further away from the usual route. "...where are you going?" you called out, your voice carrying across the quiet afternoon air, laced with equal parts bewilderment and suspicion.
"to the venue."
his response was casual, so effortlessly nonchalant that for a brief second, you thought you had misheard him. but he didn’t stop walking. he didn’t even bother to glance back at you, hands shoved into his pockets as he strode ahead with unwavering confidence.
you blinked. once. twice. then, as if compelled by some cruel force, you turned your head slightly, following the path of his footsteps until—
your stomach plummeted.
there, parked neatly along the sidewalk, was a row of bicycles, their metal frames gleaming coldly beneath the pale winter sun. they stood like silent witnesses to your impending doom, completely harmless to anyone else—but to you, they may as well have been a death sentence.
"you're joking," you deadpanned, your voice void of any amusement, the words falling from your lips like lead.
finally, taehyun turned his head just enough to flash you a slow, lazy grin, the kind that sent warning bells clanging in your head. "nope."
"you're going the wrong way," "nope," a sharp huff of disbelief escaped you, frustration curling in your chest as you hastened your steps to catch up with him. "taehyun," you said, his name leaving your lips like a warning, like a thread pulled taut. "the station’s that way." with a swift movement, you jabbed a gloved finger behind you, pointing at the correct direction as if he had somehow forgotten the most basic detail of your usual routine.
but taehyun didn’t so much as falter. instead, he merely hummed, finally coming to a stop beside the bicycles, his movements as fluid as ever as he bent down, fingers deftly unfastening one of the helmets before straightening back up. "and the buses during noon are either overflowing with people or completely nonexistent," he countered smoothly, his voice carrying that infuriating ease that told you he had already thought this through. "so, unless you’d rather stand around for an hour getting elbowed and shoved by strangers, we’re going by bike."
your breath caught in your throat.
by bike.as in, you would have to sit behind him. on the same seat. with your hands gripping onto him for balance. close. too close.
panic flared within you like a sudden spark, igniting a wildfire of dread that spread rapidly through your veins. this was bad. this was very, very bad.
your fingers curled at your sides, tightening into fists as you scrambled for an excuse, anything that would get you out of this. "absolutely not," you blurted out, the words spilling out in an instant, rushed and firm. "there is no way i’m getting on that thing."
taehyun finally turned to you fully, one brow arching in that insufferable way that made your blood simmer with irritation. "oh?" he drawled, tilting his head slightly, his lips twitching at the corners as if barely restraining a smirk. "what, scared you'll fall?"
"no!" you snapped, far too quickly, far too defensive.
his smirk widened, amusement twinkling in his dark eyes like a cat who had cornered its prey. "then what's the problem?"
you opened your mouth, ready to throw back a sharp retort, ready to argue—but nothing came out. because you had no real excuse. not one that you could say aloud, at least.
because what were you supposed to tell him? that if you got too close, if your fingers so much as brushed against his skin, the hydrangea might bloom? that if he saw it, if he noticed, he would know?
taehyun, of course, was not one to back down so easily. he tapped his fingers against the bicycle’s handlebars, pretending to contemplate something, his expression exaggeratedly thoughtful. "hmm," he mused aloud, his tone light, almost playful. "well, if i go by myself, i’ll just have to check on the decor alone." taehyun sighed dramatically, shaking his head as if the very thought was exhausting. "and you know what that means. one second, the decorations are fine, the next, they’re a complete disaster. bows tied the wrong way, color schemes clashing, centerpieces all tilted and uneven—" your eye twitched violently.
"you're doing this on purpose," you accused, voice tight, heat creeping into your tone as frustration bubbled dangerously close to the surface.
"i have no idea what you’re talking about."
your teeth clenched.
you inhaled sharply, a single, measured breath, before exhaling just as forcefully. then, with a muttered curse under your breath, you ripped the helmet from his hands, yanking it onto your head with far more aggression than necessary. the strap snapped against your chin, stinging slightly, but you ignored it, too preoccupied with the simmering frustration roiling in your chest.
taehyun simply grinned, utterly unfazed by your obvious annoyance, and with an easy flick of his wrist, he patted the seat behind him before nudging his chin towardss it. “alright, hop on.” your entire body refused to move.
standing there, feet rooted firmly to the ground, you stared at the bicycle as if it were some kind of trap, a snare carefully laid out just for you. your fingers twitched slightly at your sides, curling inward, heart drumming steadily against your ribs as your mind whirred through all the possible ways this could go wrong.
if you got on, you wouldn’t be able to avoid touching him—not entirely. even the smallest brush of your skin against his, even the briefest moment of contact, could be enough. and if it bloomed, if the petals unfurled along your wrist, or worse, his—
you swallowed hard.
the helmet suddenly felt suffocating, its strap pressing against your chin as if trying to ground you, trying to force you into action. but you hesitated, standing frozen on the pavement, unable to shake off the overwhelming weight of uncertainty pressing down on you. taehyun notices. “what? don’t tell me you’re scared now,” he drawled, amusement still evident in his voice, but there was a flicker of something else in his expression—curiosity, maybe, or just the simple act of waiting.
you scowled, snapping yourself out of your daze with a sharp inhale through your nose. you couldn’t stand here forever.
gathering whatever was left of your resolve, you stepped forward, moving stiffly as you approached the bicycle. your movements felt painfully deliberate, like you were walking straight towardss a decision you couldn’t take back. then, with a slow, reluctant motion, you lifted your leg over the seat, settling yourself behind taehyun, barely touching him.
your hands hovered uncertainly in the air, fingers twitching slightly as you debated where to place them. his shoulders? his waist? no. definitely not his waist. the thought alone sent a rush of warmth up your cheeks.
finally, hesitantly, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders, barely applying any pressure, as if keeping yourself from pressing too close would somehow change anything.
taehyun must have felt your hesitance, because he turned his head slightly, a knowing grin tugging at his lips. “you’re gonna fall off if you sit like that,” he remarked, his voice laced with something dangerously close to amusement.
“i’m fine.”
“mhm. sure.” he didn’t sound convinced.
then, without warning, he pushed off the ground with an effortless ease, his foot pressing against the pavement before the bike lurched forward.
the sudden movement sent a sharp jolt through your entire body, a startled gasp slipping past your lips before you could swallow it down. the world tilted for a split second, the ground beneath you no longer stable, no longer unmoving, and the realization crashed over you all at once—you were on a bike, with taehyun, and you were moving. Fast.
your fingers curled around his shoulders, grip tightening instinctively, and for a brief, terrifying second, you thought you felt something stir beneath your sleeve—a faint, barely-there sensation, like a whisper against your skin. but before panic could sink its claws into you, taehyun’s voice broke through the moment. "relax," he mused, his voice carrying that ever-present amusement, like he was thoroughly enjoying your distress. "hold on tight, yeah? don’t want you flying off."
your head snapped up, indignation flaring in your chest as you gritted your teeth. "don’t move so fast, idiot! you’re gonna kill us both!"
but taehyun only laughed, the sound warm and unbothered, like the very thought of crashing was so far-fetched that it didn’t even deserve consideration. the bike swayed slightly as he shifted his weight, adjusting the pedals with a practiced ease, and your breath hitched, grip tightening further.
"oh, come on," he sighed dramatically, though there was no mistaking the grin in his voice. "have a little faith, will you?"
you squeezed your eyes shut for a brief second, inhaling sharply as you willed your nerves to settle. the cold air whipped past your face, stinging against your skin, but that was the least of your worries right now, no, what truly had your heart in a vice grip was the fact that you were still on his stupid bike, still pressed far too close to taehyun, still painfully aware of every little movement he made.
you prayed silently, desperately to whoever was out there listening that you wouldn’t fall off to your untimely demise, that you wouldn’t end up sprawled across the pavement in a tangled heap of limbs and regret. but, more than anything, you prayed that your skin wouldn’t touch his. not even for a second. not even the faintest brush.
your hands remained stiff where they rested on his shoulders, fingers curled awkwardly, hovering more than gripping, as if maintaining even the smallest gap would somehow be enough to stop the inevitable. it was ridiculous. stupid, even. and yet, you couldn’t shake the fear that if your wrists so much as grazed against him, the delicate petals of a hydrangea might bloom in betrayal.
taehyun, of course, was completely unaware of your silent internal crisis. if anything, he seemed to be enjoying himself, weaving through the streets with an effortless ease, as if he wasn’t carrying the weight of someone actively trying not to touch him. the bike glided smoothly along the pavement, tires humming against the road, and despite the sheer panic buzzing in your chest, you had to admit—he was good at this. confident. steady. in control.
not that you would ever tell him that.
“you’re awfully quiet back there,” taehyun noted after a moment, his voice laced with amusement. "don't tell me you're actually scared."
you scowled, even though he couldn’t see it. “i'm not scared,” you muttered through gritted teeth.
"right," he drawled, clearly unconvinced. "is that why you’re holding onto me like i’m your last hope for survival?"
your cheeks burned. "i’m most definitely not—"
before you could finish, he suddenly shifted his weight again, making a sharp but controlled turn onto a smaller road, and you barely swallowed down a yelp, fingers tightening against his shoulders by instinct.
taehyun laughed, a full, delighted laugh that rang through the air like a bell. "see? told you to hold on tight."
if the threat of a hydrangea blooming on either of your wrists wasn’t dangling over you like a guillotine—if it wouldn’t immediately make it known to taehyun that you were soulmates—you would have already smacked him straight to the ends of the earth without hesitation.
but, as it stood, you could only grit your teeth and endure, willing yourself to focus on anything else, anything other than the warmth radiating from where your fingers clutched his shoulders, anything other than the way his laughter curled around you like an infuriatingly bright ribbon. thankfully, after what felt like an eternity of praying, of resisting the urge to strangle him, of cursing whoever decided bikes were a viable mode of transportation, the venue finally came into view.
and it was… perfect.
even from the outside, the building exudes elegance, standing tall with its grand, arched windows and smooth stone façade. the entrance is framed by a set of wide, ornate double doors, the deep mahogany polished to a gleam, reflecting the soft, winter light. despite the season, the space feels warm and inviting, as if it had been plucked straight out of a fairy tale and placed in the heart of the city.
the mere thought of the upcoming event—the swirling gowns, the mystery of masked faces, the way the night will undoubtedly hold something unforeseen—sends a strange sensation curling in your chest. something close to anticipation, but not quite.
you quickly shove the feeling aside, choosing instead to focus on the fact that you have, miraculously, survived the journey in one piece.
taehyun rolls the bike to a stop just outside the entrance, planting his foot down to steady you both before tilting his head back slightly. "see?" he hums, the smugness practically dripping from his voice. "told you i'd get us here alive."
you roll your eyes, exhaling sharply as you finally hop off his godforsaken bike, your legs feeling slightly wobbly beneath you. stretching your arms over your head, you try to shake off the lingering tension, as if that might somehow erase the memory of the past ten minutes clinging onto taehyun for dear life.
taehyun, of course, was completely unaffected, effortlessly swinging his leg over and parking the bike right near the entrance. you followed suit, brushing your hands against your coat, as if smoothing out invisible creases, before the two of you step forward, pushing through the grand double doors and into the venue.
and the minute you do, it's… everything. you step further into the ballroom, your gaze sweeping across the breathtaking transformation before you. for a moment, you allow yourself to take it all in—the warm, golden light filtering through the chandeliers, the way the sheer, icy-blue drapes cascade from the walls like frozen waterfalls, the way the entire space shimmers with an almost dreamlike quality.
it feels unreal. after all the planning, the endless meetings, the stress and exhaustion of making sure everything fell into place… it’s finally here. almost.
taehyun lets out a low whistle beside you, shoving his hands into his pockets as he surveys the room. “not bad,” he muses, tilting his head. “almost looks too good, actually. like if someone breathes wrong, the whole thing will fall apart.”
you scoff, “let’s hope that doesn’t happen, then.”
as if summoned by your words, one of the hired decorators suddenly calls out, struggling with a particularly stubborn garland that refuses to stay in place. without hesitation, taehyun strides over, sleeves rolling up as he offers a hand, his sharp eyes quickly assessing the situation. you follow, stepping in to adjust a centerpiece that’s slightly off-center, making sure every little detail is aligned to perfection.
but as you reach for the delicate arrangement, your gloves—thick and slightly cumbersome from the cold—made it difficult to adjust the smaller details. you hesitate, glancing down at your hands before exhaling softly. with a swift motion, you tug them off, tucking them into your coat pocket. bare fingers now meeting the cool surface of the table, you press forward, ensuring everything was as precise as possible.
it took a while, moving from one area to another, helping the staff tweak small things here and there—fixing a misplaced bow, adjusting the arrangement of fairy lights along the balcony railing, making sure the candles in the lanterns were evenly spaced. the chill in the air bites at your exposed skin, but you barely register it, too focused on making sure everything is just right.
but then, just as you’re adjusting the placement of one of the floral centerpieces, your fingers freeze mid-motion.
blue hydrangeas.among the delicate clusters of winter roses and baby’s breath, the soft, cerulean petals stand out like tiny fragments of the sky, woven seamlessly into the arrangements, as if they belonged there all along.
your heart stutters.
you turn to taehyun, pointing at the flowers, your voice carefully neutral. “since when were these part of the arrangement?”
he follows your gaze, eyes landing on the hydrangeas, before he shrugs with an easy, unconcerned expression. “i don’t know. added them to the mix since i thought they’d look really pretty.”
you swallowed, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, fingers absently curling onto the fabric of your coat sleeve. they were just flowers. nothing more. just a simple, aesthetic choice. that’s all.
and yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling that the universe was laughing at you.
at one point, you found yourself untangling a mess of fairy lights that had somehow gotten knotted beyond reason. your fingers worked through them carefully, but the knots were stubborn, refusing to budge no matter how gently you pried them apart. frustration bubbles up in your chest as you huff, brows furrowing in concentration.
and then, without warning, taehyun’s hands appear beside yours.
your breath stills, body going rigid, heart lurching into your throat as his fingers slip effortlessly into the tangled mess. for one agonizing second, panic flares beneath your skin—what if you touch? what if, just for a moment, his fingertips graze yours? what if—
but before the thought can spiral any further, before disaster can strike, he’d already flicked his wrist, unraveling the last of the tangles with infuriating ease, his hands retreating just as quickly as they arrived. "you're too slow," taehyun teases, a smug grin tugging at his lips.
you exhale sharply, a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, forcing yourself to relax as you straighten. you narrowed your eyes at him, trying to will away the lingering tension in your spine, but before you could snap back with something equally smug, he was already walking off, adjusting the final row of lanterns along the walls like nothing had happened. time slips by unnoticed as you both continue, making minor adjustments, ensuring that every single detail was as perfect as it could be. and when you finally step back, surveying the entirety of the ballroom, it hits you—this is it. it was done.
everything was set.
with a slow, satisfied exhale, you turned to taehyun, who stood a few feet away, hands on his hips as he scanned the space with an approving nod. "not bad," he mutters, more to himself than to you.
"not bad?" you echo, raising a brow. "try amazing."
taehyun chuckles, shaking his head before motioning towardss the stage. "c’mon, let’s sit for a bit before heading back. i think we earned it."
you don’t argue, your feet already aching from standing for so long. together, the two of you made your way towardss the stage, slipping past the elegant centerpieces and rows of carefully arranged chairs. as soon as you reach the steps leading up to the platform, you drop down onto the edge of it, stretching your legs out with a quiet sigh. for a moment, neither of you spoke, simply taking in the sight before you. the ballroom, once a hollow, undecorated space, now glows under the golden hue of the chandeliers, the candlelight flickering against the polished floors, the sheer drapery billowing gently with the faintest movement of air. the hydrangeas—those damned, perfectly arranged hydrangeas—stood out among the floral displays, their deep blue petals catching the light in a way that made them look almost otherworldly.
it was beautiful. truly.
and yet, as your eyes flicker to taehyun, who sits beside you on the stage steps, you find the weight of his gaze is already on you.
your breath catches in your throat.
his eyes held a certain softness to them, something quiet and knowing, as if he had been watching you for longer than you realized. it sends a strange, unwelcome warmth creeping up your neck, and before it can spread any further, you quickly tear your gaze away, looking straight ahead instead.
"the flowers," you murmur, forcing the words out before the silence stretches too long. "they're really pretty."
you didn’t look at him when you said it. you didn’t dare.
but taehyun, who kept his gaze trained on you, only smiles—slow and fond, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes.
"yeah," he says, his voice impossibly gentle. "really pretty indeed." the silence stretches between you again, heavier this time, though you refused to acknowledge it. you kept your gaze fixed ahead, determined to avoid taehyun’s eyes, pretending that the steady warmth of his presence beside you wasn’t throwing you off balance.
you shift slightly, putting a little more distance between you. it wasn’t much, but it was enough to make you feel like you could breathe properly again.
and then, taehyun spoke.
"say…" his voice was casual, almost too casual, but there was a lilt of something unreadable beneath it. "do you already have your date for the winter ball?"
your fingers, still idly toying with the edge of your sleeve, still at his words. you scoffed, more out of reflex than anything, before rolling your shoulders in an attempt to feign nonchalance. "i’ll be too busy," you say, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "you know, making sure everything goes smoothly. unlike you, who’ll probably spend the whole night slacking off."
taehyun huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. "still have no faith in me?" he says, placing a dramatic hand over his chest. "and here i was, thinking you’d at least take a break to enjoy the night."
"not happening."
"oh, come on," he drawls, nudging your arm with his elbow. "you mean to tell me that out of everyone in the entire school, no one's lined up to ask the vice president to be their date?"
"i don’t know, kang," you deadpan, finally glancing at him, only to be met with his smug little smirk. "why don’t you take a wild guess?"
his smirk deepens, a flash of white against the dim glow of the fairy lights. “ouch,” taehyun drawls, tilting his head slightly as he watches you with playful intent. “so, what, are you just gonna spend the whole night running around, making sure forks are perfectly aligned or something?”
you let out a huff, crossing your arms over your chest, trying to ignore the way his teasing lilt sends an unwelcome flutter through your stomach. “someone has to,” you counter, lifting your chin in defiance.
taehyun hums, a quiet sound that vibrates in the space between you, and for a moment, his gaze flickers—just for a fraction of a second, like he’s thinking about something, weighing his words before he speaks. and then, after a pause that stretches just long enough to make you shift uncomfortably, he says, voice smooth, casual, yet somehow deliberate.
“well, if you don’t have a date… then go with me.”
the world seems to tilt beneath you. your breath stills, caught somewhere between your lungs, your entire body locking into place as if you’ve been turned to stone. the words didn’t register at first—not fully, not properly—because there was no way he just said that.
but then, taehyun’s eyes were on you, unwavering, unreadable, and suddenly, it was real.
your head snaps towardss him so fast that your vision blurs for a second, a sharp jolt running down your spine from the sheer force of your reaction. “what?”
taehyun doesn’t laugh. he doesn’t smirk, doesn’t follow it up with some teasing remark like you expected him to. instead, he just looks at you, gaze steady, unwavering. there was something different in his expression—something softer, something that sent your heartbeat into an erratic, stuttering rhythm that you couldn’t seem to control.
he tilts his head slightly, brows lifting in the faintest hint of amusement, but his voice remains even, genuine, when he repeats, “be my date for the winter ball.”
and that’s when it truly sinks in.
taehyun wasn’t joking.
he wasn’t messing with you, not throwing out an empty invitation just to get a reaction out of you. he was asking—really asking.
your pulse pounds so loudly in your ears that you almost missed the way his fingers tapped idly against his knee, the only sign that he might not be as unaffected as he looked.
you stare at him, mouth opening, then closing, then opening again, but no sound comes out. your brain was short-circuiting, struggling to process this new reality, to make sense of the fact that kang taehyun—the sharp-witted, ever-teasing, infuriatingly smug student council president—just asked you to be his date.
and what’s worse was he was still looking at you like he was waiting for an answer. your throat feels dry as you blinked rapidly, the weight of his words settling over you like a thick, suffocating fog. you struggle to find your voice, to piece together a response that doesn’t make you sound completely and utterly unhinged, but all that comes out is a broken, stuttering—
“w-why are you asking me?”
taehyun stiffened, just slightly.
it was barely noticeable; the way his shoulders tensed for half a second before he exhales slowly, as if trying to compose himself. and then, just like that, the boy in front of you suddenly wasn’t quite as composed as before.
he clears his throat, glancing away for a moment, his fingers absently picking at an invisible thread on his sleeve. “well,” he starts, voice a little quieter now, a little less teasing. “i just thought… i mean, you’re always so busy with everything—running around, making sure everything is perfect, taking care of things no one even notices..”
taehyun pauses, pressing his lips together as if debating whether to continue, but then he sighs and pushes forward, gaze flickering back to you.
“i guess i just wanted you to have a reason to enjoy it, too. with me.”
his words hung between you, soft yet unbearably heavy. and maybe it’s the way he says it, so matter-of-factly, like it was the most natural thing in the world—like it was obvious, like it was something he’s thought about before.
maybe that was what left you speechless.
your lips part before you could stop them, the words slipping past your tongue in a breath, barely louder than a whisper—fragile, uncertain, like a secret not meant to be spoken aloud.
"that’s it..?"
the moment they left your mouth, you realized your mistake. taehyun stilled.
it was subtle at first, just a flicker of something unreadable passing through his eyes, a split-second shift in his posture, the faintest tension in his shoulders. but then the silence swells, thick and suffocating, pressing against your lungs like a weight you couldn’t shake off. your own breath falters, hitching ever so slightly, and you swore you could hear the soft, sharp inhale taehyun took in response.
he didn’t expect that.
and neither did you.
and you didn’t know what was worse—the fact that you let it slip or the fact that taehyun seems so thrown off by it.
his fingers twitched at his sides, just the barest movement, but you noticed. you noticed the way his lips parted slightly, as if he had something to say, only to press them together again, hesitation flickering behind his sharp gaze.
then, finally—
"do you really want me to say it?"
taehyun’s voice was softer this time, lower, laced with something heavier, something cautious, yet impossibly steady. his gaze never wavers, eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent a sharp jolt down your spine.
you didn’t realize you’ve stopped breathing until the air rushes back into your lungs all at once, too fast, too sharp. because he was close again, too close, and the space between you felt thinner than paper, more fragile than glass.
and as if the moment wasn’t already dangerous enough, he leaned in. not much, just a fraction, just enough to make the air around you shift, just enough that you could feel the heat radiating off his skin, just enough that you panic.
you shifted back almost instantly, pressing yourself further against the stage as if it’ll somehow create more distance, more space, more room to breathe. but all it did was make your flustered state even more obvious, the warmth on your cheeks burning deeper, spreading to the tips of your ears.
taehyun notices.
his eyes flicker, his lips twitch, and for the briefest moment, he almost looks amused—like he caught onto something, like he learned something. but there was something else beneath it, something more hesitant, more careful, as if he was testing the waters, as if he was waiting for you to stop him.
"do you really want to know why i asked you?"taehyun’s voice was impossibly softer, if that was even possible, barely above a whisper, yet it crashes into you like a tidal wave. your stomach twists, your hands curling into the fabric of your coat, as if that might somehow ground you, as if that might keep you from spiraling any further into whatever this is.
the space between you grew smaller, inch by inch, breath by breath. it was agonizingly slow, deliberate in a way that made your pulse pound against your ribs, making your breath hitch at the back of your throat. he wasn’t just leaning in, he was watching you—taking in every flicker of emotion that crossed your face, every shallow inhale, every unspoken thought that lingered in the air between you. you couldn’t do this.
the weight of his gaze, the closeness, the way his voice curled around the edges of something unspoken—it was too much. your breath was coming in short, uneven bursts now, your heartbeat hammering loudly in your ears, and you know, you know, if you stayed here any longer, if you let him get any closer, you were going to fall into something you wouldn't be able to climb back out of. so you move.
your legs pushed you up before you could think twice, a desperate attempt to escape the heavy pull of his presence. but you barely take a step before—
warm hands hold around your wrists. your world tilts.
not in the way it had earlier, when taehyun had sent his bike into motion and nearly launched you both into the afterlife, but in a way that felt heavier, deeper—like the very foundation of your understanding has cracked beneath your feet, sending you spiraling into something you weren’t prepared for.
because there, just above the place where his fingers wrap around your wrist, something was blooming.
not metaphorically, not in some abstract, romantic sense, but literally.
soft blue petals unfurled against your skin like a whisper, delicate yet impossibly real. a hydrangea, its blue hue rich and vibrant, appearing right where his touch lingered, as if drawn forth by the warmth of his hand against your bare wrist.
and before you could even comprehend it, before the weight of what’s happening can fully settle, you see it—
another one.
on his wrist.
a mirror to yours.
your breath stutters.
a sharp, unsteady inhale rushes through your lungs, but the air felt thick, too thick, like the moment itself was pressing down on you, sinking into your bones, refusing to be ignored. you couldn't move. couldn't breathe. couldn't  think. the world has shrunk down to this single, impossible reality, this moment suspended in time where nothing existed but this.
taehyun sucks in a breath.
his grip on you falters, just slightly, but it was enough. enough to tell you that he was feeling it too—the way the air has shifted, the way the ground no longer felt steady beneath your feet. and when you forced yourself to look at him, to really look at him, what you saw made your stomach twist.
he was frozen.
taehyun, who always had something to say, who teased and taunted and never hesitated to throw a playful jab, was speechless.
his eyes were wide, dark pupils blown with something unreadable, something teetering between disbelief and sheer, undiluted shock. his lips parted, then pressed together again, as if he was trying to find the right words but coming up completely empty.
he blinked once.
twice.
then, slowly, almost hesitantly, his gaze dropped back down—to where his hand still holds your wrist, then to where the hydrangea had bloomed against his skin.
the proof.
the impossible, undeniable proof.
you didn’t know how long you both stood there like that, suspended in the moment, locked in place by something you didn’t yet have the words for. the silence between you was deafening, thick and weighted, pulsing with something neither of you know how to name.
“what…” taehyun’s voice finally comes, but it was quiet. too quiet. fragile.
“what just—”
but he didn’t finish. didn’t have to. because the answer was right there, imprinted against your wrists, marking you both in a way that cannot be ignored. “you’re my soulmate?”you couldn’t speak.
you couldn’t reply.
you couldn't do anything.
the weight of reality crashes down on you with an intensity that made your head spin, your breath hitching painfully in your throat. the room suddenly felt much too small, the air thick and unsteady, pressing in from all sides as if the universe itself was forcing you to acknowledge the truth—the truth that had been lingering just beneath the surface for weeks, waiting, biding its time, until this exact moment. until now.
taehyun knows.
he finally knows.
and you didn’t know what was worse—the fact that you kept it from him, or the fact that deep down, a part of you had always known this moment would come. you had feared it, dreaded it, had told yourself over and over again that you were prepared for it, that you had built up enough walls to keep yourself safe when the inevitable finally arrived. but standing here now, under the weight of his gaze, you realize you weren’t prepared at all. your body refused to move. your fingers, still curled slightly from where they had almost—almost—reached back for him, felt like they were frozen in place, caught between instinct and hesitation. the silence between you was so thick, so deafening, it drowned out every other sound in the room, leaving only the frantic pounding of your own heartbeat, a desperate, uneven rhythm that betrays every attempt at composure.
taehyun was just as still, just as caught in the moment as you were. his expression was unreadable, his lips parted slightly as if he wants to say something but doesn’t know where to start. his gaze flickers down to his wrist, his breath visibly hitching when he takes in the intricate petals of the blue hydrangea, now settled against his skin like an unspoken truth that neither of you can deny. his fingers twitch once, twice, as though testing to see if the mark is real, as though part of him is still grappling with the weight of what this meant.
it was real.
it had always been real.
finally, after what felt like a lifetime, taehyun spoke.
“did you know?”
his voice was barely above a whisper, each syllable laced with a quiet, underlying emotion that you couldn’t quite place. there was no anger, no accusation, nothing sharp or cutting—only something softer, something careful, something almost hesitant. it was a question, but more than that, a plea, a desperate attempt to bridge the gap between you, to make sense of the revelation that had just unraveled before him.
but still, you said nothing.
your throat was dry, your mouth refusing to form the words that sat heavy on your tongue. your breath came in shallow, uneven exhales, your fingers on your other hand curling into the fabric of your sleeve as if that alone might keep you from falling apart.
and that silence—your silence—was all he needed to know. taehyun exhales, the sound slow and measured, but you saw the way his jaw tightens, the way his fingers pressed onto your skin before uncurling again, the way his entire posture shifted ever so slightly as realization settled deep into his bones. his face remained composed, but his eyes—his eyes that have always been so sharp, so piercing, so impossibly hard to fool—betrayed him entirely.
“why…” his voice faltered, catching slightly before he swallowed and tried again, this time more resolute, more certain. “why didn’t you tell me?”
taehyun took a single step forward, slow, hesitant, and careful in a way that made your stomach twist with unease. it was as if he was afraid that any sudden movement would send you running, as if he was walking on fragile ground, unsure of what might shatter beneath him.
you felt your breath catch, the air between you growing heavier, charged with an intensity that made it impossible to look away.
“how long have you known?”
your hands trembled, the weight of his words pressing down on you like a force you couldn't  escape. you swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in your throat, willing yourself to find your voice, to say something, anything.
“i…” the word barely made it past your lips before you had to clear your throat, forcing yourself to steady the shake in your voice. “since about… two weeks ago…”
taehyun breathed in sharply, his expression flickering with something you couldn’t figure out, something shifting, something unraveling. you watched as his gaze drops slightly, as though he was replaying every moment, every conversation, every fleeting glance from the past two weeks with a new understanding.
and then he laughs.
soft, breathless, light as air.
not in mockery, not in disbelief, not with amusement, but something else entirely.
relief.
taehyun’s shoulders eased, his posture relaxing just slightly as the realization settled deep within him. he lifted his free hand, pushing back the hair that had fallen into his eyes, before shaking his head with a quiet chuckle.
“i knew it,” he murmured, more to himself than to you, as if the words had been lingering in the back of his mind all this time, just waiting to be spoken. “so this was why… why i’ve always felt this… pull towardss you… no matter how much you tried to push me away.”
his voice was filled with certainty, with something raw, something so achingly sincere that it makes your breath stutter in your chest.
because you know exactly what he meant.
that pull.
the way your eyes always found him in a crowded room, the way his voice had always cut through the noise, the way his laughter had always settled so easily in the spaces between you. the way his presence had always been something you could never quite shake, no matter how much you tried to ignore it and tell yourself that you hated it.
and now you both know why.
taehyun takes another step forward, closer this time, close enough that the warmth of his presence began to seep into your skin, making your pulse pound against your chest.
his hand lifts, his fingers brushing against your other one, just barely, just enough to send a spark of warmth racing up your arm. it was the softest touch, barely there, but it made your entire body go still.
he hesitated for only a moment before fully taking your hand in his.
you inhaled sharply.
his grip was firm but gentle, steady but careful, like he was afraid of pushing too far, like he was still waiting for you to pull away. his thumb brushes against the side of your palm, the warmth of his skin bleeding into yours, grounding you, anchoring you to the moment.
“you feel it too, right?”
your lips part, the answer right there, right at the tip of your tongue, so close you can taste it.
but then—
panic.
it surged through your veins like wildfire, swallowing you whole before you could stop it, before you could even try to fight against it. your chest tightened, breath shallow and uneven, and for a split second, the weight of taehyun’s touch—the warmth of his fingers wrapped gently around you—became unbearable. because if you admit it—if you said it aloud, if you give in, if you let yourself fall—there would be no turning back.
no running.
no pretending.
no more hiding behind the walls you spent so long building.
your fingers twitched, your entire body tensing as if preparing to flee even before your mind could catch up. taehyun’s presence was everywhere—his touch, his gaze, the quiet steadiness of his breath filling the space between you. it was overwhelming, suffocating in a way that had nothing to do with discomfort and everything to do with fear.
so you do the only thing you know how to do.
you yanked yourself away. the movement was so sudden, so desperate, that taehyun barely had time to react before you were stumbling back, ripping yourself from the warmth of his grasp as though it burnt. his hands slipped away from yours, the loss of contact immediate, startling, like stepping into the cold after being wrapped in the sun’s embrace. but the absence wasn’t just physical—it was something deeper, something that lingered in the air between you like a wound torn open too soon.
taehyun didn’t move.
his brows furrowed, the lines of his face tightening, a flicker of confusion passing through his wide, searching eyes. his mouth parted slightly, as if he was about to say something—to ask, to reach, to hold—but you didn't give him the chance.
you didn’t even give yourself the chance to think.
you turned.
your breath hitches, your pulse roaring in your ears as your legs move on instinct, on impulse, on fear.
and then you ran.
you didn’t stop, didn’t look back, didn’t let yourself process the way your vision blurs at the edges or the way your heartbeat pounded against your chest, each thud a deafening reminder of what you’ve just done. your limbs felt weightless yet heavy all at once, like you were floating through a dream you desperately wished to wake up from. your hands tremble at your sides, curled into fists so tight that your nails bite into your palms, a feeble attempt to anchor yourself, to ground yourself against the storm raging inside you.
but there was no grounding yourself from this.
there was no outrunning the way your soul ached, the way something inside you screamed at you to stop, to turn back, to look at him just once, just for a second.
but you couldn’t.
not when his words still echoed in your mind, wrapping around your thoughts and pressing against your lungs. you feel it too, right?
not when the memory of his laughter still lingered, warm and full of relief, the sound of someone who had just found something they had spent their whole life searching for.
not when you know—when you know—that if you let yourself turn back now, you will never have the strength to leave again.
so you kept going. you push past the door, your movements frantic, your breath coming out in broken, uneven exhales as you slipped away, disappearing into the night like a shadow retreating from the light.
and taehyun?
taehyun just stood there.
his hands were still outstretched, fingers curled ever so slightly, as if still reaching for something—someone—who was no longer there. his expression was blank, his chest rising and falling with steady, measured breaths, but his eyes—his impossibly expressive eyes—were frozen in place, locked onto the spot where you stood only moments before.
and yet, despite the stillness, despite the quiet composure he had always carried so effortlessly, taehyun looked shattered. ꒰💐꒱ the night felt endless. you lay in bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, but sleep refused to come. the weight of your actions, of everything that had unfolded just hours ago, sat heavy on your chest, pressing down like an unbearable force. you tried to shut your eyes, tried to will yourself into oblivion, but every time you did, you saw him—saw the look on his face when he realized, saw the way eyes brightened like never before.
taehyun was happy. no, he was ecstatic.
you could still hear his laugh, that breathless, wondrous kind, like the world had just revealed its greatest secret to him. i knew it… he said, voice laced with something so soft, so full of relief, as if everything in his life had suddenly fallen into place. you had never seen him like that before—never seen kang taehyun, with all his sharp wit and unwavering confidence, look so utterly and completely at peace.
and then. and then you ripped it all away.
the moment your hands had left his, the moment your body turned, his joy had shattered. you had felt it, even with your back to him, even as you pushed past the door, as you fled like a coward. you had felt the shift in the air, the quiet devastation settling in behind you.
now, as you lay in the suffocating silence of your room, you wondered if taehyun was still standing there, staring at the empty space where you had been. wondered if he was replaying everything in his mind the way you were, trying to make sense of it, trying to understand why—why—you ran.
you squeezed your eyes shut, but it didn’t help. the memory of his expression—the way his brows drew together, the way his mouth parted just slightly in stunned disbelief—burned behind your eyelids.
the ache in your chest only grew heavier, sinking deep into your bones like a weight you couldn’t shake off. it was unbearable—this gnawing, twisting feeling of guilt, regret, and something else, something even more terrifying.
because it wasn’t just taehyun’s expression that haunted you. it wasn’t just the way his joy crumbled into confusion, into hurt, into quiet devastation—it was the way he had reached for you, the way his fingers had brushed against yours so gently, so tentatively, as if he was afraid you might disappear if he held on too tightly. and in the end, you did.
you saw the light in his eyes, the unguarded, unfiltered joy written all over his face, and you destroyed it.
a strangled breath left your lips as you curled in on yourself, pressing your hands against your chest as if that could somehow hold everything in, as if that could stop your heart from unraveling at the seams. the past few weeks—every moment, every lingering glance, every teasing remark that had felt just a little too soft—they all came crashing down on you at once, suffocating in their intensity. and morning arrived too soon.
no matter how tightly you curled into yourself, no matter how desperately you tried to will the world away, time didn’t stop for you. it marched forward, indifferent to the storm that raged inside you throughout the night.
you didn’t sleep a wink—you simply drifted, slipped in and out of restless, fragmented dreams, only to jolt awake each time with his voice echoing in your head, with the memory of his warmth ghosting over your skin. you turned onto your side, onto your back, onto your stomach, but no position, no adjustment, no desperate attempt to push the thoughts away helped.
so when your alarm finally rang, shrill and unforgiving in the silence of your room, you had no choice but to face the day.
your limbs felt heavy as you dragged yourself out of bed, exhaustion pressing down on you like a weight. the mirror was unkind, reflecting back dark circles beneath your eyes, the dullness in your gaze, the exhaustion carved into every line of your face. you moved through the motions of getting ready on autopilot—washing up, dressing, gathering your things—but the entire time, your mind remained stuck on one single, inescapable fact.
you would see him today.
you would step into the council room, and taehyun would be there. and you had no idea what would be waiting for you on the other side of that door.
was he angry? hurt? indifferent? did he spend the night thinking about it, just as you did? had he regretted it?
or worse, did he realize that maybe, maybe this whole thing had been a mistake?
your thoughts clung to you as you made your way to school, each step feeling heavier than the last. the usual morning sounds—the chatter of students, the rustling of papers, the distant ringing of a bell—faded into background noise as you moved through the halls, your heart hammering with each step that brought you closer to the council room.
and then you stepped inside.
you barely had time to take in the familiar sight of scattered documents, opened planners, and the faint scent of coffee before your eyes landed on him.
taehyun.
and he… he looked hollow.
the sight nearly knocked the breath out of you.
gone was the sharp glint in his eyes, the ever-present amusement, the effortless ease he carried himself with. instead, his features were dull, tired—shoulders slumped, gaze distant as he stared down at the papers in front of him, pen loosely gripped in his hand.
the weight in your chest only grew heavier as you hesitantly stepped further into the room, the familiar scrape of the chair against the floor sounding much louder than it should have in the suffocating silence. you lowered yourself into your usual seat, forcing yourself to settle, to breathe, to act as if everything was fine.
but nothing was.
because taehyun didn’t even look at you.
not a glance. not a teasing remark. not even the usual exasperated sigh when you made a little too much noise pulling out your notes. nothing. he simply remained as he was, unmoving, his gaze still fixed on the papers before him as if they held the answers to something greater, something deeper, something that could explain why.
and the absence of his attention, of his presence, of him—stung far more than you ever anticipated.
you swallowed hard, fingers curling into your lap, nails pressing into your palms as you willed yourself to keep your expression neutral, to not let the weight of your own guilt show. but the silence stretched, pressing down on you like a vice, wrapping itself around your throat until you thought you might suffocate under it—
“what’s with you two?”
the voice cut through the tension like a blade, startling you from your spiraling thoughts.
beomgyu.
you turned your head just slightly, enough to see him watching the both of you with furrowed brows, arms crossed over his chest. his gaze flickered between you and taehyun, sharp, calculating, observant.
beside him, jiwon leaned back in his chair, one elbow propped on the table as he arched a brow. “yeah, seriously. it’s weird in here.” he gestured vaguely between the two of you, lips pulling into a frown. “you guys didn’t, like, mess up the decor together yesterday and made a pact of silence, right?”
you flinched.
taehyun didn’t even blink.
beomgyu’s frown deepened. “okay, what the hell. what is going on?”
you spoke—too forced, too strained. “nothing.”
“bullshit.”
jiwon scoffed, nudging beomgyu with his elbow. “look, man, maybe they’re just in a bad mood.”
beomgyu didn’t look convinced. but taehyun didn’t give him a chance to press further, because before beomgyu could open his mouth again, he quietly cleared his throat, finally shifting, finally moving—only to stand from his seat, pushing his chair back with slow, deliberate movements.
“i need some air,” taehyun muttered, and just like that, he walked out, and now it was your turn to be left dumbfounded and hurt.
the days leading up to the ball passed in a blur, but the weight in your chest remained the same. if anything, it only grew heavier, sinking deeper into your bones with each passing moment.
and throughout it all, taehyun didn’t speak to you. to anyone, rather.
he wasn’t gone, not physically—he was still here, still doing his work with the same meticulous precision, still showing up early, still staying late. but he was missing in a way that was impossible to ignore, and the weight of it pressed against you, suffocating and relentless.
and it wasn’t just you who noticed. at first, beomgyu had been the most vocal about it. he had tried everything—nudging taehyun’s shoulder playfully, cracking jokes that usually earned him an exaggerated eye-roll or a deadpan retort, even deliberately messing up the seating chart just to get a reaction. but nothing worked. taehyun barely reacted, only offering the occasional hum of acknowledgment or a clipped, indifferent response before returning to whatever task was in front of him.
he had always been diligent, always the type to follow through with his responsibilities, but this was no longer dedication, this was detachment.
"seriously, what is his problem?" beomgyu had muttered under his breath one afternoon, throwing his pen onto the table with a frustrated sigh. he turned towardss you then, his brows furrowed, gaze sharp. "he’s been acting like a ghost for days.”
your breath caught in your throat, fingers tightening instinctively around the clipboard in your lap.
jiwon, who had been watching the entire exchange with thinly veiled curiosity, shifted in his seat, drumming his fingers idly against the desk. "maybe he’s just tired,” he mused, though even he didn’t sound convinced.
beomgyu scoffed, shaking his head. "no. no, this isn’t tired—this is something else. he’s not just quiet, he’s—” beomgyu hesitated, frowning as he searched for the right word before finally settling on, “empty.”
and god, wasn’t that the truth?
taehyun had always been level-headed, composed, but never like this. never so distant. his sharp wit and effortless charm had dulled into something barely there, and the shift was so stark, so jarring, it left an undeniable hollowness in the air.
you wanted to say something, needed to say something. but what could you possibly say? that it was your fault? that you had seen the light in his eyes, the happiness that had appeared in his features when he first saw the flower on both your wrists, and how you crushed it beneath your own fear?
the weight of your own cowardice sat heavy on your shoulders, suffocating, unbearable. so you said nothing.
the ball was only days away. the decorations were finalized, the arrangements had been double-checked, and everything was falling into place, piece by perfect piece. and yet, for all that careful planning, for all the progress and preparation, everything still felt like it was falling apart. ꒰💐꒱ the night of the ball finally arrived.
golden lights illuminated the grand hall, casting a soft, ambient glow that seeped through the tall windows, flickering like distant stars against the darkness of the evening. inside, the sound of laughter and lively chatter drifted through the open doors, mingling with the faint melody of a waltz playing from within. everything was perfect—just as the council had planned, just as everyone had spent weeks ensuring.
but you simply stood outside.
your fingers curled around the delicate mask in your hands, the material pressing against your skin. the evening breeze brushed against your shoulders, carrying with it the distant hum of celebration, but you couldn't bring yourself to move forward, to step inside and immerse yourself in it all.
your dress, a simple yet breathtaking gown, clung to your frame in all the right places, accentuating without overwhelming, elegant without being extravagant. the fabric, a soft black satin that shimmered under the moonlight, cascaded down your figure in smooth waves, pooling ever so slightly at your feet. it was understated, refined, beautiful, and yet, despite how perfectly it fit, despite how much care had gone into choosing it, you had never felt more out of place.
you had spent days, weeks, preparing for this night. every detail had been planned, every decoration meticulously arranged. this was supposed to be a night of celebration, of triumph—a culmination of all the hard work the council had poured into making this event a reality.
but the thought of stepping inside, of weaving through the sea of masks and laughter, of pretending that everything was fine? it terrified you.
because you didn’t know how you would feel once you see him tonight. and perhaps, worse than that, you didn’t know if you even would.
your stomach twisted painfully, an ache that no amount of deep breaths could ease. would taehyun even be here? had he decided to stay away, just as you had considered doing? or would he be inside, blending into the crowd, masked and distant, just another face in a room full of strangers?
or would he be there, looking the same as always, standing in a corner with that quiet confidence, that knowing gaze, that presence that you could never quite shake, no matter how much distance you tried to put between you?
your heart pounded at the thought.
you had spent the past week avoiding his eyes, ducking away from his presence, watching helplessly as he withdrew further and further into himself. and yet, even as he distanced himself, even as the banter faded and the stolen glances disappeared, he never confronted you. never pushed, never asked for an explanation.
but tonight, there would be no desks between you, no schedules to hide behind.
if taehyun was here—if he sees you—then there would be no more avoiding it.
the weight of that realization sat heavy in your chest, pressing down, making it harder and harder to breathe.
you squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself to move, to take a single step forward.
but your legs felt rooted in place, your body paralyzed by the what-ifs, by the uncertainty, by the unbearable truth that no matter how much you wanted to run, no matter how much you wanted to hide, you wanted to see him. god, you wanted to see him.
but did he still want to see you? taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself, gripping the delicate mask in your hands one final time before slipping it over your face. the satin ribbon tied keeping it in place felt tighter than necessary, as if it was binding you in place, but you refused to let yourself hesitate any longer.
with slow, deliberate steps, you moved forward, the soft fabric of your gown brushing against your ankles as you entered the venue. the moment you crossed the threshold, you were met with a breathtaking sight—warm golden light spilling from crystal chandeliers, illuminating a sea of elegantly dressed students, their gowns and suits shimmering beneath the glow.
a small smile ghosted over your lips, a rare moment of relief settling in your chest. this was it. after weeks of planning, after endless discussions and meticulous arrangements, the masquerade ball came to life. and seeing it unfold, watching as your peers twirled across the floor, their laughter ringing through the air, made all of the exhaustion worth it. it was beautiful.
as you weaved through the crowd, exchanging polite nods and returning greetings, a sudden poke at your shoulder made you pause. blinking, you turned on your heel, only to be met with a grinning masked beomgyu, standing beside someone whose presence, even behind an intricately designed mask, was unmistakable—soobin. their hands were intertwined, fingers loosely laced together, a silent testament to their bond.
“there you are!” beomgyu beamed, his enthusiasm practically radiating off him as he gestured wildly around the venue. “you have to admit, this is pretty amazing.”
soobin, ever the calmer presence, chuckled softly before dipping his head slightly in greeting. “congratulations,” he said, his voice smooth and sincere. “everything turned out beautifully. thank you for all the effort you put into making this happen.”
before you could even respond, beomgyu huffed, dramatically tossing an arm over soobin’s shoulder. “my idea, by the way,” he interjected, puffing out his chest in pride.
soobin, despite his mask obscuring half of his face, still managed to exude exasperation as he shot beomgyu a tired look. “i know, beomgyu. you’ve told me like a billion times.”
a quiet laugh left your lips as you shook your head, momentarily allowing yourself to bask in their familiar bickering. there was something comforting about it, something steady and unchanging. but just as quickly as that warmth settled, it vanished, replaced by a dull ache in your chest. because watching them—watching the ease in their dynamic, the way they played off each other so effortlessly—it only reminded you of one person.
your breath hitched, the tightening in your chest returning with full force. you forced a smile, pushing down the lump forming in your throat. “i should, um, check on the food,” you murmured, the words slipping from your lips before you could second-guess them.
soobin gave you a small nod, and beomgyu, thankfully, didn’t press further, only giving you a playful salute as you stepped away. with each step, your heart felt heavier, your resolve beginning to crumble once again.
you barely registered the laughter, the music, the clinking of glasses around you. all you could focus on was the overwhelming weight pressing against your ribs, the relentless pounding of your own thoughts. you shouldn't have come.
but then—
but then you saw him.
it was almost cruel how effortlessly your eyes found him, how no amount of dim lighting or the sea of masks could ever make him anything less than noticeable.
taehyun stood near the far side of the ballroom, a vision of effortless poise and sophistication. his suit was a deep shade of charcoal, tailored perfectly to his frame, accentuating the sharp lines of his shoulders and the lean definition of his form. the crisp white of his dress shirt contrasted against the dark fabric, and the black tie on his collar was neatly knotted, adding to the refined elegance of his appearance. but it was his presence—the sheer gravity of him—that made your breath catch.
his mask, sleek and simple, framed his eyes in a way that only enhanced their depth, making them appear even more calculating. the dim lighting cast delicate shadows over his features, highlighting the sharp cut of his jaw, the soft curve of his lips—lips that had once smiled so easily, so playfully, but now remained pressed into a thin, unreadable line.
you stopped in your tracks. you watched taehyun, unable to look away, unable to tear your gaze from the way he stood—poised yet distant, present yet entirely unreachable. the ballroom carried on around you, the music swelling, distant conversations rippling through the air, but it all faded into nothing as your eyes remained fixed on him.
his posture was impeccable, as always, shoulders squared, chin lifted ever so slightly, an image of effortless control. but there was something different now, something restrained in the way his fingers curled slightly at his sides, in the way his weight shifted subtly from one foot to the other, as if he were caught between the instinct to move and the need to stay still.
and then, as if he could feel your gaze, as if some invisible thread had finally pulled tight between the two of you—
his eyes found yours.
and the moment they did, something in the air shifted, as if the world seemed to narrow, the sounds around you dulling into nothing more than a distant hum.
taehyun’s stare widened just slightly, the faintest flicker of surprise betraying his otherwise composed expression. and god, was he taking you in.
taehyun was looking at you—truly looking at you. not like the stolen glances from before, not with the distance he carefully put between you these past few days. this was different. this was open, raw, something achingly vulnerable slipping through the cracks of his carefully built composure.
and the way he looked at you…
it was as if he had never seen you before.
as if he were discovering something entirely new, something he hadn’t realized until this very second. his gaze traced over you, taking in every detail, every curve of your form, every shimmering fold of your gown. his lips parted slightly, his breath hitching just the tiniest bit, and even with the mask covering half his face, even with the dim lighting softening his features, you could see it—the quiet, unspoken admiration that flickered across his face.
your heartbeat roared in your ears, your body frozen in place, unable to move, unable to breathe. neither of you stepped forward, neither of you dared to break the fragile silence that had settled between you, balancing on the edge of something terrifyingly real.
and then—
he blinked.
just once.
but when his eyes opened again, something was different. something had shifted.
taehyun’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. his hands twitched at his sides, his fingers curling inward like they ached to reach for something—for someone. you watched as a breath, deep and shaky, left his lips, his shoulders rising with the weight of it.
and then he turned away.
the moment shattered.
the spell broke.
before you could process it, before you could make sense of the way your chest constricted so violently at the loss, taehyun pivoted on his heel, his movements sharp, hurried. his polished shoes barely made a sound against the ballroom floor as he slipped past the sea of guests, weaving through the crowd with quick, purposeful steps.
he was leaving.your heart lurched, panic flaring in your veins, the shock of it slamming into your chest like a physical blow.
no.
your breath caught in your throat, the realization settling in all at once. he was running away.
and before you could stop yourself, before the fear could paralyze you, before you could make the same mistake twice—
you ran after him.
you pushed through the crowd, rushing between the clusters of students lost in conversation, their voices nothing but a muffled blur against the frantic pounding of your heartbeat. your pulse roared in your ears, your breath coming in sharp, uneven bursts as you dodged flurries of students and pressed forward, not caring if you stumbled, not caring if you brushed too roughly against someone.
taehyun was running, and you couldn’t let him get away. not again.
your fingers clenched at the fabric of your dress, lifting the hem just enough to keep yourself from tripping, but your feet barely felt the ground beneath you. all that mattered was him. all that mattered was the sight of his retreating figure, slipping past the grand archway leading to the open night air, disappearing beyond the cascading ivy that framed the ballroom’s second entrance.
the cool night hit you like a breath of fresh air the moment you broke free from the suffocating warmth of the ballroom. the murmurs of the crowd dulled, replaced by the soft rustle of the wind through the trees, the distant hum of music fading behind you. but none of it registered, not the chill against your bare skin, not the way your lungs burned from exertion, because taehyun was still ahead, his silhouette cutting through the garden’s moonlit paths.
the silvery glow of the moon bathed everything in an ethereal light, casting long shadows along the pathway, painting the world in hushed shades of blue and silver. the neatly trimmed hedges and delicate blooms swayed gently with the breeze, their fragrance lingering in the crisp air.
your steps faltered as you sucked in a breath, throat dry, chest tight—but you couldn’t stop now. not when he was slipping away again.
so you did the only thing you could.
"kang taehyun!!"
your voice cut through the quiet, sharp and desperate, carrying through the still night air.
and just like that, he finally stopped. taehyun’s steps slowed, hesitating, before finally coming to a full halt. your fingers curled into the fabric of your gown, gripping tightly, as if grounding yourself, as if holding on to the last bit of courage you had left. you didn’t trust your voice—not when your heart was still hammering like crazy, not when the ache in your throat made it impossible to swallow. but still, you forced the words out, soft, almost fragile in the way they broke past your lips.
"please..."
the sound barely carried over the distance between you, but it reached him somehow. you knew it did.
but taehyun remained unmoving.
his back stayed rigid, his shoulders taut, rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. he didn’t turn, didn’t even so much as flinch, as if he was willing himself to stay still, as if he was caught in the same unbearable moment as you, yet refused to acknowledge it.
the silence between you stretched, thick and suffocating, heavy with the weight of all the words neither of you had spoken. it clung to the air, to the space that felt impossibly vast despite the few feet separating you.
and then, after what felt like an eternity—so slow it nearly made you dizzy—he turned around.
taehyun’s body tensed before he shifted, hesitant, deliberate, as if caught in a decision he hadn’t quite made yet. the motion was almost careful, painfully slow, as though he feared what he would see when he finally turned to face you.
taehyun’s gaze met yours instantly, locking onto you with an intensity that stole the breath straight from your lungs. the silver glow of the moon framed his silhouette, casting soft shadows over his face, over the smooth planes of his mask.
and his eyes… they held something unreadable. something you couldn’t name, something tangled between a dozen emotions, flickering too fast, too fleeting for you to grasp.
but he was looking at you.
yet for the first time, you didn’t know if that was a good thing.
taehyun’s gaze never wavered, never softened, not even for a second. it was sharp, cutting through the space between you like a blade, dissecting, waiting. and you, standing beneath the weight of it all, feeling it press into your skin, into the marrow of your bones, suddenly felt small. exposed. self-conscious.
your throat tightened, the sudden awareness of yourself creeping in, making you shift where you stood. your shoulders straightened, your hands fidgeting at your sides, as if fixing your posture would somehow anchor you, would somehow make you feel like you belonged in this moment instead of drowning in it. your tongue darted out, wetting your dry lips, yet the words—whatever words you were meant to say—refused to come.
it was silent. painfully, deafeningly silent.
now that he was here, standing before you, now that you finally had him where you had been desperate to keep him—you didn’t know what to do. what to say.
"if you're not going to say anything, then i'm leaving."
taehyun’s voice cut through the stillness, low and cold, distant in a way that sent a sharp pang straight to your chest. it was piercing, impassive—so unlike him. where was the warmth? the teasing edge? where was the taehyun who never let a moment pass without a quip, a smirk, a knowing look? where was the taehyun who once made the air between you feel light, easy? the thought hit you so hard that it sent you stumbling forward, hands moving on instinct, reaching—desperate. and before you could stop yourself, before hesitation could creep in and steal this moment away from you, your fingers closed around his wrist.
a sight too familiar.
but this time, you weren’t the one running.
this time, you were the one trying to stop him.
"wait," the word barely came out, breathless, trembling. you let go of taehyun’s wrist, and then—then, the floodgates broke. "taehyun…"
his name wobbled on your lips, barely a breath, barely a sound, but it held every ounce of desperation clawing at your chest, every ounce of regret that weighed heavy on your shoulders. your throat tightened, a lump lodging itself deep within, suffocating, unrelenting, but you forced yourself to swallow it down. because if you didn’t speak now—if you let this moment slip through your fingers like sand—you knew you’d never forgive yourself.
"i’m sorry."
the words trembled, cracked, barely held together by the fragile threads of your unraveling composure. and yet, they still weren’t enough. nothing felt like enough—not for all the pain you had caused him, not for all the hurt you had left in your wake, not for the way you had looked into his eyes that night and still walked away.
"i’m so sorry, taehyun."
his name shattered from your lips this time, breaking somewhere between a sob and a plea.
"i was stupid. i was so, so stupid."
you inhaled sharply, hands curling into fists, nails biting into your palms in a desperate attempt to keep yourself from completely falling apart. but it was no use. everything was spilling over—emotions too big, too raw, too heavy to be contained anymore. "i didn’t mean to push you away. i didn’t mean to hurt you. god, i never wanted to hurt you." your voice wavered, cracking under the weight of your own words, and you squeezed your eyes shut for a fleeting second, trying yet failing to steady yourself. "but i did."
you exhaled shakily, forcing yourself to meet his gaze even as your own blurred with unshed tears. "i hurt you, and i was too much of a coward to admit anything." your fingers twitched at your sides, aching to reach for him, aching to grasp onto something—anything—that could ground you in the midst of the storm raging inside you. "i was scared," you whispered, voice barely above a breath, the admission tasting bitter, like guilt and shame and every unsaid thing you had buried deep inside yourself for far too long.
"i was scared because i didn’t understand it," a hollow laugh escaped you, but there was no humor in it. only pain. "because i didn’t understand you." you exhaled sharply, shaking your head as if that could erase all the years of denial, all the wasted time, all the moments you had spent pretending. "from the very start, taehyun, you made me feel things i had never felt before—things i didn’t know how to name, things that made my heart race and my hands shake and my mind spin and i—" your breath hitched, a sob catching in your throat, but you pushed through it, voice trembling. "i hated you for it. or at least... i thought i did."
you felt him stiffen, barely perceptible, but you noticed it. of course, you noticed it. your lips quivered, your hands clenched, and you forced yourself to take a step forward, closing even the slightest bit of distance between you. "but it wasn’t hate, was it? it never was," you whispered, voice softer now, gentler, but heavy with the weight of every unspoken word you had swallowed down over the years, every moment you had ignored, every glance you had forced yourself to look away from.
"it was fear."
you sucked in a shaky breath, blinking rapidly against the tears threatening to spill over. "you saw through me. you knew me—really knew me—even when i didn’t want you to," another step, another shaky breath. "and i hated that. i hated that no matter how much i tried to convince myself you were nothing more than a rival, a nuisance, an annoying presence in my life, i—" you exhaled sharply, voice breaking, barely holding yourself together, "i was wrong."
you were right in front of him now, so close, yet still, he hadn’t moved. he just stood there, staring at you, silent, unreadable, unflinching.
"i was wrong about everything," your voice wavered, barely above a whisper now, but the words carried the weight of everything—of every mistake, every regret. your fingers twitched at your sides before, finally, finally, you found the courage to reach out, grasping his wrists once more with trembling hands.
"i never should've left that night," you choked out, shaking your head, tears clinging to your lashes. "i should’ve turned back, should’ve looked at you, should’ve realized what was right in front of me." a single tear slipped down your cheek, warm against your skin, but you didn’t wipe it away. "i should’ve told you then," you hesitated, voice cracking, "i should’ve told you that it was always you."
the words shattered from your lips like glass, like something irreparable, something fragile and delicate and painfully, unbearably sincere. "it was always you, taehyun." your voice trembled, thick with emotion, thick with everything you had locked away for so long, and yet, for the first time, you weren’t afraid to say it. "and i’m so, so sorry it took me this long to see it." you sniffled, the sound barely audible over the pounding of your heart, a weight lifting off your shoulders with every word that had finally, finally escaped your lips. yet, despite the relief that came with your admission, fear still gripped you, sinking its claws into your chest, twisting deep. because this—this was the part that terrified you the most. not the confession, not the rawness of your emotions spilling over, but his response. what he might say. how he might look at you now. how he might—
taehyun moved.
and for a split second, panic seized you as he pulled away from your grasp, slipping from your trembling hands. your breath hitched, your body tensed, and your mind raced with the worst possibilities, already bracing for the moment he’d turn his back on you. already dreading the sharp sting of rejection. but he didn’t leave. he didn’t take a step back, didn’t let the silence stretch too long, didn’t let the space between you grow. instead, taehyun lifted his hands, reaching for you, cupping your tear-streaked cheeks in the warmth of his palms, grounding you in the way only he ever could.
your lips parted, a sharp breath escaping as his thumbs brushed over your damp skin, gentle, deliberate, erasing the remnants of your sorrow with the softest touch. your eyes widened, searching his face, drinking in the features you had spent so long memorizing yet never truly allowing yourself to admire.
and then, without a word, taehyun reached for the ribbon of your mask, fingers curling around the delicate material before he carefully, slowly, undid the knot and lifted it away.
your breath caught, the cool night air brushing against your now-exposed skin, and before you could react, he let the mask slip from his fingers, the sound of it hitting the ground barely registering in your ears.
but taehyun wasn’t done.
with the same tenderness, the same certainty, he lifted one hand to his own mask, unfastening it, letting it fall to the earth beside yours. and for the first time in what felt like forever, he smiled. not the small, hesitant smiles you had seen him give in passing, not the careful, guarded ones he wore when he was unsure, not the polite ones he had offered in fleeting moments. no. this was real. genuine. a smile that stretched across his face, lighting up his features, reaching his eyes in a way you had forgotten was possible.
"that’s it?"
his voice was warm, teasing, laced with something light and playful—something unmistakably him.
and the moment you heard it, the moment you saw that expression on his face, it was as if every last bit of fear, every last trace of doubt, melted away.
a breath of laughter left you, a mix of relief and disbelief, and before you could even think, before you could hesitate, before you could convince yourself otherwise, you surged forward—hands finding his face, fingers threading into his hair as you pulled him in, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that was everything.
the moment your lips crashed against his, it was as if something had burst open—years of pent-up emotions, unsaid words, restless nights, stolen glances, all unraveling in a single heartbeat. and taehyun kissed you back like he, too, had been waiting for this his entire life.
his hands, still cradling your face, tightened their grip, fingers digging into your skin as if he was terrified you might slip away again. but you weren’t going anywhere. not anymore. your hands slid up to his jaw, trembling, desperate, pulling him impossibly closer. the sheer warmth of him, the way he exhaled shakily against your lips—it was dizzying. intoxicating. you were drowning, and you never wanted to come up for air.
the kiss was frantic, a collision of breaths, sighs, and need. his lips moved against yours like he had something to prove, something to make up for, something he couldn’t put into words—but you understood. you understood in the way his hands fell from your face to your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your dress, gripping like he needed something to hold on to, something to anchor him. you understood in the way he let out a shuddering breath when you tugged at his hair, when your fingers slipped into the strands, when your body pressed flush against his.
a sharp exhale left taehyun, something like a laugh, something breathless and wrecked, and then he was kissing you harder, deeper, like he wanted to consume you, like he wanted to make up for every second lost, every moment wasted. and you let him. you let him steal your breath, let him take everything you had to give, because god, you had been starving for this. for him.
his fingers traced up your spine, slow, deliberate, and you shivered at the feeling. it was overwhelming—the heat of him, the taste of him, the way he kissed you like he was afraid you would vanish if he stopped. your back hit the edge of the stone fountain behind you, but neither of you cared, too caught up in the way your mouths moved together, in the sheer desperation between you.
when you finally broke apart, foreheads pressed together, gasping for air, taehyun’s grip on you never loosened. his fingers stayed at your waist, his breath fanning over your lips, and when you opened your eyes, his gaze was already on you—dark, burning, fond. taehyun exhaled, a quiet, breathy sound that mingled with the space between you, and when he smiled—soft, real, yours—you felt something in you finally settle.
"so... you like me." he murmured, his fingers curling just a little tighter at your waist, as if he still didn’t quite trust that you were here, that this was real.
you blinked, still dazed, still trying to catch up to everything—everything you had just spilled, everything that had just happened, everything you had just done.
"kang."
"no, no, say it." taehyun grinned, the teasing lilt returning to his voice, but there was something softer beneath it, something almost in awe. "i need to hear you say it."
heat crept up your neck, the weight of his hands still lingering on your skin, his touch burned into your memory. "i just confessed my entire soul to you, what more do you want?"
"just three little words." his voice dropped slightly, his fingers brushing along your jaw, tilting your chin up ever so slightly. "for confirmation."
you groaned, tilting your head back, but the fondness in taehyun’s eyes, the warmth in his touch, the way he was looking at you like you were all he needed, it was unfair.
"i like you, taehyun." the words left you in a sigh, as if they had been waiting to escape all along.
"yeah?"
you rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed your feigned annoyance. "yeah."
taehyun hummed, looking entirely too pleased with himself before he leaned in again, murmuring against your lips, "about time." “i like you too.”
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franeridan · 7 days ago
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actually the more I reread the flashback chapters the more I believe Lavi must be in some way tied to p!Lavi, the emphasis on the fact that both p!Lavi and p!Allen share the same names as current Lavi and Allen is too marked for it to be a coincidence. until the flashback starts you don't really see either of them straight on, and jr is never referred to as Lavi - then the flashback starts, and you see this guy who looks way too much like Lavi talk to someone you can't see and call him Allen, and the emphasis in the framing is on the fact that he's talking to Allen, not on what face this Allen has, because at the moment it's not important. It's Allen, that's Allen. It's our Allen that drinks the poison and closes his eyes, and it's still Allen that opens his eyes in the flashback, the first person pov we have is meant to emphasise that
(p!Lavi uses himself to remake p!Allen into Allen so it's normal for us to consider Allen an amalgamation of the two of them, but I think it's still important that hoshino made it clear since the start that Allen is seeing these flashbacks from p!Allen's pov, because he's still mainly p!Allen, even if there's a bit of p!Lavi in him now too)
and then next chapter starts, and you still only know this man as jr and you still haven't seen the other Allen's face (which is done obviously on purpose), and this guy we're undoubtedly identifying as Allen calls jr's name and says Lavi. It's Allen calling Lavi, Allen talking to Lavi. And this new Lavi turns around and he, once again, looks like Lavi. And you can say it's because they're from the same clan, but Bookman doesn't look like Lavi. Lucia doesn't look like Lavi. The master of the bookshop, any other clan member we see when we're shown Lavi's birth, none of them look like Lavi. Only Lavi looks like Lavi.
and then, you're finally shown Allen's face, right after Lavi calls his name again, and he looks like Allen. The framing and pacing of the scene is really trying to drive it home, these men are Allen and Lavi. They might not be exactly the Allen and Lavi you know, but at their core and for all purposes, they are Allen and Lavi. It feels like you're essentially guided to read them as Allen and Lavi.
and if that's not enough, during the first of the two flashback chapters jr introduces himself as Lavi, then says that that's not his actual name and that he "can't have [Allen] call [him] that", but then in the second chapter, sixteen years later, Allen is still calling him Lavi. It's like the story is telling you they're unequivocally Allen and Lavi, even if they're not meant to be, even if the names aren't exactly right. We're still using those specific names to identify them because they're still Allen and Lavi.
and when I think about that and about how p!Lavi changed his manner of speech during his travels with p!Allen to match Lavi's own, and how personality-wise too he's so similar to how our Lavi is when he's with Allen, when he's not forcing a mask on himself to keep up appearances, I really can't believe our Lavi has nothing to do with p!Lavi. It just makes no sense to me. There's too much emphasis on a name that isn't even the actual name of either of them for it to be just a coincidence that they share it
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andromeda3116 · 7 months ago
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overheard a younger girl at work talking about how her bf took her at face value when she said she didn't want to do anything for their anniversary and how obviously he should have known better and how good it was that her mom caught it and made sure he knew that "i don't want to do anything for our anniversary" means "surprise me" and i am just like. so tired. like doesn't that make you tired? lying to people who love you so they'll prove themselves by correctly guessing that you want the opposite of what you said you want? doesn't it exhaust you to think of always having to coach your words in just the right way so they'll get the right hint? doesn't it make your very bones feel heavy with the weight of pointless lies? isn't that draining? to always expect them to have to prove to you that they love you by how well they read your mind? to have so little faith in your own lovability?
idk man that just sounds like an exhausting way to live
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invinciblerodent · 3 months ago
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(oh, i should not be trying to playfully weigh in on a "who's your LEAST favorite companion?" post, it starts off lighthearted and then it makes me go on my Fenris-rant again)
#squirrel plays dragon age#long story short; I don't dislike the character per se; I just think Gaider wasn't the right person to write him#and I feel somewhat vindicated by the knowledge that he didn't really choose to write him but was more or less left with him#David Gaider is a good but very unsubtle writer. he writes feelings that are LOUD and CLEAR and PASSIONATE. which is not a negative#it can work splendidly; for characters who can carry that weight and stand up to it#like Dorian for instance- I think he's Gaider at his absolute BEST for me. LOUD and PASSIONATE but also OOZING charisma#and the apparent arrogance and flippancy just adds to that. knowing the image he wants to present and how he demands to be seen;#the lines/feelings that don't match what he says or that warm and vibrant persona create a kind of contrast I wanna explore#but Fenris... he feels just as loudly; but both he and the story approaches that passion from a different angle#his loud feelings are cold and ugly and jagged; so getting close is an uphill battle solved mostly by the player finding him intriguing#or charming; and WANTING to figure him out and interact with him to find out where those feelings come from#he's not crying out to be known; he recoils from you and snaps at you at first; and you have to keep pushing to get past that#all while holding (reasonable but hard) views that snag and create uncomfortable conflicts with most of the cast and usually the PC too#which... I could personally take or leave; so being pushed away deliberately; well; it achieved the intended effect for me#I DO feel pushed away. but since I don't personally find myself very charmed or intrigued; I also don't feel compelled to keep pushing back#looking at it through my Hawke; I don't see much of a reason for him to be in my party besides the expectation that I'm meant to like him#and I can't explain it away by my Hawke liking him either because with the kind of characters I like to play; he just... doesn't jive#which made going through his storyline not a desire for me but rather a chore; AND it didn't endear him to me but made me go#“well I get why you're the way that you are now.... I still don't really wanna spend time around you tho”#i realize it's ofc not the same for others; but to me; it didn't end up giving me much satisfaction#aw dangit; look at that; i started my rant again#why didn't anyone stop me huh#oh well slapping on a#fenris critical#and shoving this catharsis out the door like the incorrigible yapper that i am
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stormlit · 2 days ago
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luck feels like a strange concept for them, most of the time; in amalia's experience, life has been a series of misfortunes, of victimhood at the hands of the terrible and a sense of merely surviving, most of the time. she would not be here, right now, if she had gotten what she'd wanted out of life, and she believes that so much of the good that she's gained has been because she's striven for it, worked her arse off until the path before her was no longer littered with obstacles. if life is good, it's because she made it so, not dumb luck.
and yet, it was mere chance that brought her to paris, and unspoken custom that took her to the theatre. perhaps it was even luck that armand didn't kill her, back then, that what had been some kind of lust-driven silent seduction on both their parts had turned into real, genuine love. but still...amalia wishes to be mistress of her own fate. she'd rather it was not left up to the gods, even if they did tie her red string to armand's finger.
❝ it's alright if you do not feel lucky tonight. i would not fault you, ❞ she says quietly, after a long pause; emotions have been high, words and thoughts exchanged in anger. this peace is a deliberate choice the both of them have made so they can heal, and armand is facing saying goodbye to everything he knows. ❝ still, i didn't want it to happen quite like this. ❞ she didn't want to be the one tearing armand away, all of a sudden...but is it really tearing, if he wants her to do it? or merely holding his hand as he takes the leap? ❝ but i'm glad, too. even if that's selfish of me. ❞
amalia sighs, one of relaxation than anything else, and stretches out, her legs tangling with armand's. ❝ then we'll stay. we have tomorrow. ❞ around making arrangements, at least; she has to find a night ferry, as soon as possible. ❝ oh, anything. i like to see what strikes my fancy. i'd love a new pair of shoes. ❞ a soft smile. ❝ but not getting some tonight won't kill me. ❞
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the coven is easy. the structure he reinforced had been built before he arrived in paris and even now, separated from the children of darkness, it's just restructured, isn't it? over two centuries, he understood the ins and outs of coven leadership. there was comfort in the predictability. it hadn't mattered when he tired of it. just as it hadn't mattered when his beliefs frayed. he'd withstood centuries because he was a creature that thrived in habit and used rules as a lifeline.
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but there was also a polarity to him. one that was desperate for something else.
and while he doesn't think that it was manifested because of amalia, he's positive that she helped it come to the surface. and instead of chasing it, he felt he'd nearly lost it. fear would have kept him with the coven, mindlessly attempting to convince her to stay with a coven that she doesn't align with. there had been a time where he would have thought it unacceptable to live outside of a coven, when the children of darkness's rules gave no room for flexibility. any vampire who wandered into his territory were automatically under his rule ( regardless of feelings or knowledge ).
he hasn't believed with that kind of fervor in a long time.
as with the ebb and flow of emotion, he catches himself laughing softly at the tug at his hair. ❝ i am lucky, ❞ he admits, and despite the teasing, he means it. he knows age doesn't release him of his faults, it doesn't come with endless wisdom or omniscience. ❝ but you don't need to say sorry, perhaps it's for the better that you cannot. ❞ because it also meant that she'd helped him see a way past the coven.
he smiles at the touch of thumb against his cheek. and despite it not being too late to leave, he isn't sure he wants to. ❝ i'm a little comfortable like this, unless you're still set on shopping, ❞ he replies, fingers idly playing in her hair.
❝ — what were you going to buy? ❞
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sturionic · 3 months ago
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Activism is not cold-calling.
Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.
I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.
As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.
Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.
IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.
Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.
This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.
Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.
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david-watts · 5 days ago
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...anyway what part of 'I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you because last time you yelled at me in public that I would never ever be good enough for it' is too tricky to understand
#the yearly 'me putting off doing anything about university because I Do Not Want To Be There whilst my m*ther pushes me on'#it is so obvious. I have had the university counsellors actually say it in shrouded language but the meaning was clear.#that I am too traumatised by previous experience to be in an academic environment. and also when I am not being too anxious#and am actually capable of being in a class the universe conspires to ruin it for me#that or I have a manic episode develop a new special interest and proceed to have a mental breakdown because of the assignment question#'how much did he live up to the myth of himself' how about I try to kill myself!#but alas I apparently 'have to get a degree' no I don't#I'm also at a stage where I feel like I can't pursue anything I wanted to because I've missed out on when I needed to#like I have lost the perfect point in the rhythm to join in. and the pattern never repeats exactly so I can't try again#there are two things that I really really want to happen. one is realistic the other isn't. but backups in the incredibly likely event thos#aren't happening? nothing. I've either lost too much cognition or I'm too broken by all of the events of my life to be able to get in#if I point out that I have been forced to waste years of my life and I am possibly ruining future years because it's very likely that this#cannot work for me and that I am ok with not having a university degree I will be yelled at and I will not have a choice in the matter#deliberately try to fail out? no it's that you've had these negative events! I'll get your penalties reversed!#try to see if you can use living in another city to study to try and move away for good? you can't study elsewhere I can't come and live#with you in student accommodation :(#I don't know what to do man. I don't know what to do
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sixty-silver-wishes · 1 month ago
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also. re: neil gaiman. for all the people wondering, "what if the celebrity I like turns out to be like him?" I just want to say a few more things-
now is a good time to evaluate your relationships with celebrities or internet personalities. this is just like, a healthy thing to do in general; I do it on a regular basis when considering the celebrities whose work I like. take a minute to think about how you feel about those people, and ask yourself how personal your attachment is to them. if you feel attached to them as you would a friend, family member, or partner, you may need to confront that.
if a celebrity you like turns out to have done something reprehensible, that doesn't make you a bad person for liking them in the past. you likely didn't know. if you loved neil gaiman's writing, and even if you still do, you don't have to feel guilty about it. however, you may want to reevaluate continuing to support them financially.
I deliberately said "celebrities whose work I like" earlier, because that's an important distinction to make- a celebrity's work is just their job. you can admire their work, and it can be very important to you, but at the end of the day, they are not their work. people will talk about "separating the art from the artist" when someone does something awful like gaiman, but I think this might even apply to celebrities you admire. for instance, I'm a big fan of tom waits' music. he has a very entertaining stage persona and is an extremely talented artist. as far as I'm aware, tom waits hasn't had any major controversies. but even so, it's important for me to remember that I adore tom waits' artistry, not tom waits himself. I do not want to become personally attached to someone I do not know.
just because neil gaiman did something awful, or because any number of celebrities did something awful, doesn't mean that you should be automatically suspicious of the ones that don't have allegations against them. it does mean that you should be wary of how you should attach to them, but it doesn't do to be paranoid about, for example, david tennant, because you were wounded by neil gaiman's actions. it does mean that you shouldn't form a parasocial attachment to david tennant (or anyone else), but it doesn't mean that he's also secretly an abuser, too.
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grison-in-space · 7 hours ago
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*drawl* Doom, they're arguing that the "all about communism+ REALLY" push is a bad thing here.
Personally, I think that OP is railing against intersectionality here and cryptically advocating for reducing investment in solidarity among queer stakeholder communities, because they feel that their own most keenly held concerns are being dismissed as "frivolous" by larger movements concerned with triage and solidarity and that this is what explains increased emphasis on solidarity and a vagueness about the specific experiences of more granular, less heterogeneous LGBTQ communities. I'm not saying this is deliberate, but it's the reading I think is most likely, particularly since OP is baby (bio says early twenties).
I don't agree, for what it's worth, and you may kiss my own sweet queer ass about it too, kid. I find that increasing solidarity and attuning yourself to potential allying groups makes your activism stronger, not weaker, not least because numbers are helpful. Their historical analysis is also pretty weak: the move from "gay rights" to broader queer rights is a function of a pendulum switch from a fairly assimilationist (and very effective!) period of advocacy into a more liberationist period, which is a pattern that is pretty consistent for queer advocacy movements (and others!) over the past century.
That said, anger at perceived abandonment of our trans allies in favor of focusing on marriage as a lynchpin queer justice movement was simmering the entire time--we were talking about this in ten or fifteen years ago over ENDA, kid--and the emphasis on broader freedoms surrounding gender rather than specifically gayness and liberation has been driven in part by a) noting how aggressive that conservatives have become about gender conformity and attacking trans people as it became harder to secure public support for attacks on marriage; ergo trans people are central targets requiring defense and b) by trying to pay back the gains that came from successes over marriage to everyone else because the marriage war required telling a lot of other important community issues to be quiet and take up less space. It's only fair to give them more room after Obergefell came down.
Bluntly, kid, I see where you're coming from about people thinking gay people won everything already and don't need to be worrying, and I agree anyone saying that is full of shit. I directly benefited in countless ways from the victories surrounding marriage in the past decade, and I can and will jump down the throat of anyone who implies that those victories weren't hard-won, effective, and important. But I think you're missing a lot of stuff you don't have context for yet, and I definitely think you have no business complaining that "queer" is a slur while using "gay"--which was, after all, the slur of choice when I was an adolescent; "queer" was the polite term that only showed up within-community.
A lot of hay has been made about the term omnicause but I think it is quite useful in that in a lot of progressive, leftist, communist, socialist, whateverist spaces, ultimately weigh all progressive causes by the threat that they pose to capitalism or how well they can help install communism/socialism/anarchism/whateverism. That's why a lot of progressive spaces have moved away from gay rights towards amorphic queer whatever. They've moved away from gay rights such as gay marriage, anti-hate crime, anti-discrimination stuff because that doesn't advance the cause of communism/socialism/anarchism/whateverism. They've moved towards queer theory which they view as destructive towards the status quo in favor of installing whatever their preferred whateverism is. It's also helped by the perception that especially lesbians, gay men and transgender people are seen as, on some level, bourgeois and frivolous because of a very very very long very old tradition of associating sex between people of the same gender and cross-dressing as upper class, again frivolous. When you care about lesbian gay bisexual and transgender people not being discriminated as a goal in and of itself that is seen as suspicious because that doesn't really advance whateverism. You can see this with a lot of climate activism too. It's not really on some level about stopping climate change, it's about installing whateverism. That's why a lot of climate activists are so opposed to technological solutions for climate change. Because that would be cheating because it's not installing whateverism which is ultimately what it's about. I'm not saying that climate activists don't have genuine existential fear of climate change but that on some level or another it is about whateverism ultimately. I did focus on LGBT people because that is something I feel qualified to talk about but I think a lot of this also applies in some way or another to racial Justice, feminism, and the fight against antisemitism All of which I am not qualified to talk about.
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vaguenotions · 9 months ago
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Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)
Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?
#txt#might delete this later but i also might not because my irritation and rage is real and i shouldnt have to so constantly discard it#i am so tired of constantly putting it aside#i want your blood in my fucking teeth. and it's your fault i want it there- certainly- because I TRY. I try so hard not to feel this way#but eventually you get tired of those little games too#okay I drafted this for a minute bc idk if this fucker is actually spending the night or not i just know he took off his belt. BUT THEN ONE#+ OF THESE FUCKERS DECIDED TO START TALKING ABOUT SPIDERS. A THING THAT I HAVE A VERY BAD PHOBIA ABOUT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU#thinking of killing and maiming and maiming and killing and killing and shredding and tearing and killing and-#seriously though what. the fuck. you even go ''oh they're not gonna like this'' THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING SAY IT#ohh and now you're sitting here making plans for when you go out without me next! I'm going to make you a bloody smear on my fucking floor#i am going to Dissect you. I'm going to rip you apart and feed you to the local strays and csrrion birds.#not even getting up and leaving right fucking now would assuage me. i wish i wasn't so full of fucking hate but you just keep adding fuel +#+to the fire#im so tired. I'll come back with a ''im fine now'' if he fucking leaves but im going to seethe now. im so fucking angry.#how do you fucks continually just bounce between the topics that makes me feel Most Violent Towards You? literally how do you not realize i#+ want you dead at this point? how do you not realize the grave you've dug for yourselves in my mind?#i dont fucking mask it that well. i know i dont. and still you fucking do this#((part of why it being a bar specifically that bothers me besides the very deliberate and careful avoidance of mentioning it to me is that#+*one of you is at serious risk for becoming an alcoholic. why the fuck are you being enabled this way?*))#((if i was dating someone with a genetic predisposition of alcoholism i would make your regular dates nights- idk- NOT THE FUCKING BAR +#+ DISTRICT. DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM? DO YOU? This fucking boils my god damn blood.))#(ultimately its their decision if they want to fucking drink yeah sure whatever YOU DONT NEED TO REGULARLY AND READILY ENABLE IT. BASTARD.)#(If they want to drink so fucking bad- if they push for the bars- JUST BUY SOME ALCOHOL AND BRING IT FUCKING HERE. It limits how much they+#+can have for one- and it would isolate me from you two less! just as an added fucking bonus! but no very unreasonable of me. what was i +#+thinking? clearly not about them 🙄)#i might be a little out of line here. i can admit that. but if anyone spent a week in my fucking shoes back when they first got together +#+and then now? you would fucking understand.#and they just. keep. talking. to eachother. no attempts to include me. not even glances my way. like always.#''oh nothing will change'' IT FUCKING CHANGED. I want to hurt you so bsdly for that lie with ever passing day. do you even know it was a li#do you? anyway was abt to post this and noticed a gif i have of a woman ripping her shirt off so im going to stare at that until im calm ig.
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reasonsforhope · 6 months ago
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Kamala Harris just announced that her vice president will be Minnesota governor Tim Walz. Based on the coverage so far I'm really reassured by this decision.
The Washington Post did an obviously great job of making a prepared article for each option, considering how long an article they had up 7 minutes after the announcement.
((Okay technically it's not an official announcement yet it's "according to three people familiar with the pick, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss a decision that is not yet public." But listen. I am 99% sure this is a weather balloon. (Meaning: a deliberate leak to gauge reaction.) Because the sheer weakness or incompetence on the part of the Harris campaign that it would take for three people to all confirm that within a few hours hours of each other and the planned announcement it is massive.))
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-via The Washington Post, August 6, 2024
Honestly this decision, from everything I've read and can tell, looks like it's brilliant politics.
Important Context: The vice president(ial candidates)'s job in an election is not to be similar to the president. The vice president's job on the ballot is very, very much specifically to be different from the president. Why? So they can cover each others' weaknesses. Especially regionally.
(Sidenote: I feel a bit ridiculous saying this. But genuinely if you want to get a stronger understanding of how US elections really work. Go watch seasons 6 and 7 of The West Wing. Genuinely, a lot of politicians have said - especially back in its day - that that was the most accurate depiction of an election they'd ever seen. Also specifically features an entire arc about a contested Democratic primary convention, so also very good if you're interested in understanding weird nominating convention shenanigans.)
From the article:
"Harris’s choice for a running mate was among the most closely watched decisions of her fledgling campaign, as she sought to bolster the ticket’s prospects for victory in November and rapidly find someone who could be a governing partner. In picking Walz, she has selected a seasoned politician with executive governing experience and signaled the importance of Midwestern battleground states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.
Walz’s foray into politics came later in life: He spent more than two decades as a public school teacher and football coach, and as a member of the Army National Guard, before running for Congress in his 40s. In 2006, he defeated a Republican to win Minnesota’s 1st Congressional District--a rural, conservative area--and won reelection five times before leaving Congress to run for governor.
Walz was first elected governor in 2018 and handily won reelection in 2022. Though little-known outside his state, Walz emerged publicly as one of the earliest names mentioned as a possible running mate for Harris, and in the ensuing days he made the rounds on television as an outspoken surrogate for the vice president...
“These are weird people on the other side. They want to take books away, they want to be in your exam room. … They are bad on foreign policy, they are bad on the environment, they certainly have no health care plan, and they keep talking about the middle-class,” Walz told MSNBC in July. “As I said, a robber baron real estate guy and a venture capitalist trying to tell us they understand who we are? They don’t know who we are.”
Walz also has faced criticism from Republicans that his policies as governor were too liberal, including legalizing recreational marijuana for adults, protecting abortion rights, expanding LGBTQ protections, implementing tuition-free college for low-income Minnesotans and providing free breakfast and lunch for schoolchildren in the state.
But many of those initiatives are broadly popular. Walz also signed an executive order removing the college-degree requirement for 75 percent of Minnesota’s state jobs, a move that garnered bipartisan support and that several other states have also adopted.
“What a monster. Kids are eating and having full bellies, so they can go learn, and women are making their own health-care decisions,” Walz said sarcastically in a July 28 interview with CNN when questioned whether such policies would be fodder for conservative attacks, later adding: “If that’s where they want to label me, I’m more than happy to take the [liberal] label.”
Walz also spoke at a kickoff event in St. Paul for a Democratic canvassing effort, casting Trump as a “bully.”
“Don’t lift these guys up like they’re some kind of heroes. Everybody in this room knows--I know it as a teacher--a bully has no self-confidence. A bully has no strength. They have nothing,” Walz said at the event, sporting a camouflage hunting hat and T-shirt.
Walz has explained that he felt some Democrats’ practice of calling Trump an existential threat to democracy was giving him too much credit, which prompted his decision to denounce the GOP nominee instead as being “weird.”
“I do believe all those things are a real possibility, but it gives him way too much power," Walz said on CNN’s “State of the Union” regarding the Democrats’ rhetoric. “Listen to the guy. He’s talking about Hannibal Lecter, shocking sharks, and just whatever crazy thing pops into his mind.”
If Walz is elected vice president, under state law, Minnesota Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan (D) would assume the governorship for the rest of his term. Minnesota Senate president Bobby Joe Champion, a Democrat, would become lieutenant governor."
-via The Washington Post, August 6, 2024
--
This guy. Sounds like. fucking Moderate swing-state/rural/Midwestern/southern/"heartland"/working class white voter catnip. He sounds like he's also a very smart politician and strong campaigner. And he's apparently genuinely a good guy with a good record, too.
He sounds like he's going to do a really good job of appealing to voters in several of the big deal swing states without being from any of them specifically. Which means it doesn't feel like pandering to one of the states involved (and thereby spurning the others), which is also great.
(Also he was the one who started "weird" @ conservatives and I think we should take that seriously as a very good political instinct/move. Judging in large part by how it has so clearly hit an actual nerve with conservatives like so little else. Also hugely relevant: that post going around about how part of why conservatives are so upset about "weird" is because in the Midwest, "weird" specifically also implies anti-social or harmful behavior.)
Officially feeling more optimistic about Trump not winning in November
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misc-obeyme · 7 months ago
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You sometimes wonder if the demons end up in your room at night because somehow they know that you no longer prefer to wake up alone.
Ever since you started living at the House of Lamentation, you have gotten used to finding one or more of them there with you. A friendly face, a gentle touch, the warm body of someone who cared for you, someone you cared for in return.
They all arrive in their own unique ways.
Mammon, who always crashes through your door so easily during the day, sneaks in quietly at night. Most of the time he doesn't wake you. But if he does, he gets flustered and starts to leave until you ask him to stay.
"Of course ya want the Great Mammon to stay with ya," he says. Even in the darkness, you know he's blushing as he says it.
If you whine with nightmares, he'll kiss your head, pull you closer, and whisper that it'll be all right. And instantly the nightmares dissipate.
You never have nightmares when Belphie is around, either. He shows up in your dreams himself, fighting off the terrors with an energy you never see in him when he's awake.
He'll snuggle up to you any time and any place, but most often he finds you at night. He's impossible to disturb, even if you kick him in your sleep. You sometimes wake to find him in strange positions.
Asmo always rearranges him if they both end up with you on the same night.
"You won't get quality sleep like this," he says. "And you need quality sleep if you want to have quality skin!"
When he's alone, Asmo will come in only to stare at you fondly for a while. You know he never intends to stay. It's just a little peek at his favorite sleeping human. But then he finds he can't tear himself away. You'll wake up with his lips pressed against your cheek, as he always wants to kiss you in his sleep.
You sometimes have dreams about eating something, but in the morning you find it's because Beel was there having a midnight snack before falling asleep beside you. He likes to hold you close, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest. You wake up in the middle of the night sometimes because it feels like being held by a furnace.
Although these are the brothers you wake up to most often, you'll find the others come around sometimes, too.
Satan will crawl into bed with you directly, without hesitation, but you know he's embarrassed about the need to be next to you. He'll hold you tightly, like he's afraid to let go. If you ask him what's wrong, he'll tell you, but it's always muffled because he's pressing his face into your neck.
"I'm irritated and I can't calm down enough to sleep," he says. "You always… "
You brush your fingers through his hair soothingly. "I know," you say. Because you do. You know that your presence relaxes him in a way nothing else does.
The ever elusive Levi only stops in when you're alone. He won't join any of his brothers and half the time, he's still awake in his room, binging anime or gaming into the wee hours. You pretend to be asleep if you know he's lingering outside your door because then he'll finally come inside.
He'll stand there and look at you, like he's just dropping in for a moment. He tells himself he'll always leave before you wake up, but that never happens. You deliberately shift yourself to be inviting, creating a space for him beside you. If he's here, he likely needs to rest, to shut off his mind for a little while, to indulge in his desire to be close to you when no one else is around. He blushes the whole time, but he does crawl beneath your covers and rest his head on your chest.
And then there's Lucifer.
The other brothers are constantly going in and out of your room. They have gaming competitions there and movie marathons. Sometimes they gather to do homework with you. Sometimes it's only one or two of them. And you always find one sleeping beside you.
Lucifer rarely takes part in these activities. He's always holed up in his office, working. He waits for you to come to him.
But every once in a while, you'll wake to find him kneeling beside your bed, his hand in your hair or resting on your cheek. Like he came in to check on you and couldn't resist a soft caress. His presence inevitably wakes you. And if you reach out, if you grab his hand, if you hold onto him, he'll give in and stay.
His most vulnerable moments are when he lies down in your bed beside you and lets himself run his fingers along your skin. He'll kiss your forehead and your eyelids, a tender gesture that speaks volumes.
And every morning, no matter who is with you when you wake, you find yourself next to someone who loves you. It becomes your favorite way to start the day. And somehow, every demon living in the House of Lamentation is aware of this. They make sure you're never sleeping alone.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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labyrinthinesyndicatex · 2 hours ago
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Watching Ishika dismantle his defenses felt less like an intrusion and more like an invitation he hadn’t realized he was waiting for. It was unnerving, yes, but also intoxicating in a way that left him unmoored. She had this uncanny ability to see through the layers he’d spent years perfecting, peeling them back with a precision that felt almost surgical. It wasn’t just her insight - it was the way she wielded it, deliberate but never cruel, like she knew exactly how far to push without breaking him. "Anyone ever tell you you're dangerously good at reading people?" he asked, the humor in his voice a thin veil over the genuine awe she stirred in him. Her response, sharp and unflinching, sent a thrill through him that he couldn’t quite name. She wasn’t subtle, and she didn’t pretend to be. That certainty, that refusal to tiptoe around his barriers, sparked something electric in him. "Given your track record, I'd say that's either a promise or a threat … and I'm not sure which one's more interesting," he said, the words coming out before he could second-guess them. He wanted to know what she saw when she looked at him, even if the thought terrified him.
Most people hit his walls and turned back, unwilling to navigate the labyrinth of his guardedness. But Ishika? She walked through them like they were nothing more than smoke. "You know, most people give up trying to figure me out," he admitted, the confession slipping out in a way that felt both reckless and freeing. The truth was, he didn’t want her to stop. Her persistence wasn’t just disarming, it was magnetic. Every time she cut through his practiced indifference, it felt like she was rewriting the rules he’d lived by for so long. Her words about him owning it, about not doing things wrong, lingered in his mind long after she’d said them. They weren’t just words - they were a challenge, a dare to step out from behind the mask he’d worn for so long. The way she looked at him, like she could see past every joke, every deflection, made him feel exposed in a way that should have sent him running. Instead, it made him want to stay. "Maybe I've been overthinking the whole cape situation," he said, testing the waters of vulnerability, unsure if he was ready to dive in but unable to resist the pull.
Her certainty about him walking in her direction wasn’t just accurate - it was undeniable. He’d been orbiting her for longer than he cared to admit, drawn to her in a way that defied logic. When she called him out on pretending, on craving recognition while trying to stay invisible, it felt like she’d reached into the deepest part of him and pulled out the truth he’d been too afraid to face. "Who says I would ever pretend?" he asked, the words carrying more weight than he intended. She made him want to be seen - not just the version of himself he showed the world, but the real him, flaws and all. And that, more than anything, terrified and thrilled him in equal measure.
Ishika watched the way he processed her words, the way they landed and settled in his mind, even when he tried to laugh them off. That was the thing about Gavin—he always acted like he was one step removed from his own life, like if he played things cool enough, they wouldn’t matter. But she knew better. She saw the way he hesitated, the way he deflected with humor but still let just enough truth slip through to make her want to push further. And if there was one thing she never did, it was let something interesting go unexplored.
So when he tilted his head, all curiosity and amusement, and accused her of using the cape as an excuse to push him—well, he wasn’t wrong. But he also wasn’t seeing the full picture. She leaned in, bold, deliberate, because hesitation had never been her style. “Gavin,” she said, voice smooth, certain. “If I wanted to see how far I could push you, I wouldn’t be subtle about it.” She let that sink in, let the weight of her words wrap around him the way she could already see the damn cape doing in her mind. “And if I really wanted to test your limits, trust me, we wouldn’t be talking about fashion choices.”
There it was again—that split second of stillness, the way he felt something before he could hide it behind another joke. Ishika wasn’t the kind of person to play pretend, and she sure as hell wasn’t the type to let someone act like they didn’t know what was happening between them. He could try to sidestep it all he wanted, but she had never been one to let people run from the truth. His comment about consequences made her smirk. “Oh, I expect you to own it. I wouldn’t waste my time on a man who didn’t.” She sat back, crossing her legs like she had all the time in the world, but her gaze never wavered from his. “You like pretending you don’t want to be seen, but the thing is, you do. You just don’t want to be seen the wrong way.” Her voice dipped, the sharpness of her words cutting through whatever self-deprecating excuse he was about to come up with. “And I don’t do wrong.”
Because that was the heart of it, wasn’t it? He didn’t mind being looked at, didn’t mind playing along, as long as no one got close enough to see the parts of himself he didn’t think were worth the effort. But she had already decided he was, and that was what was throwing him off. His attempt to slow things down, to add some distance with that little one step at a time remark, made her smile—because it wasn’t a no. It was a stall. A hesitation. An admission in disguise. And Ishika? She wasn’t in the business of waiting for people to catch up to what they already knew.
She tilted her head, considering him for a long moment before giving him the slightest, knowing shrug. “Take all the steps you need,” she said, her voice smooth, amused, but absolutely certain. “Just don’t pretend you’re not already walking in my direction.”
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psychoticfemmm · 8 days ago
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Late Night Cravings
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You were deep in sleep, warm and tucked under the sheets, when you felt movement beside you. At first, it was subtle—just the shifting of weight, the dip of the mattress as Rafe adjusted himself. But then came the soft press of lips against your skin, trailing down your stomach, followed by a teasing, cocky whisper.
“Don’t freak out, baby. Just need a little taste.”
You barely had time to register what he meant before—well, let’s just say sleep was no longer an option.
Forty-five minutes later and more than a few protests that turned into moans, Rafe finally collapsed beside you with a content sigh, pulling you into his arms like he hadn’t just spent nearly an hour worshipping you. He was still catching his breath, fingers lazily tracing shapes on your hip as he grinned to himself.
You, on the other hand, were still in shock. “Rafe.”
“Mmm?” He sounded way too pleased with himself.
“What the hell was that?”
He turned his head, pressing slow, deliberate kisses along your jawline, then nuzzled into your neck. “That, my love, was me proving why you should never doubt how obsessed I am with you.*
You scoffed, tilting your head to look at him. “Obsessed?”
“Hopelessly.” His lips curved against your skin, arms tightening around you. “I mean, come on, I just woke up to make you feel good. Do I get a boyfriend of the year award or what?”
You rolled your eyes. “More like menace of the year. Who wakes someone up like that?”
Rafe pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his blue eyes filled with amusement. “A very dedicated man. A boyfriend who loves his girl so much that he just couldn’t help himself.” He grinned. “And, judging by how you were squirming, you weren’t exactly complaining.”
Heat rushed to your cheeks, and you smacked his arm. “Shut up.”
“Make me.” He smirked, leaning in for another kiss, but you turned your head at the last second, making him huff dramatically. “Oh, so you’re gonna be mean to me now? After I spent all that time—”
“Rafe.” You cut him off with a deadpan look.
He chuckled, tucking you closer against his chest, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Fine, fine. But don’t act so shocked, baby. You should know by now—I’m crazy about you.”
You exhaled, finally relaxing into him, feeling his steady heartbeat against your cheek. “Yeah, yeah.”
He grinned. “Admit it, you love it.”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue. Because, well… maybe he had a point.
And Rafe? He knew it too.
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
sorry if this was bad I'm not really a smut writer but I hope you like it <3
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