#it feels so long!!!
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Hi hi to all the sillies of the world!!!!
So, I’ve decided that I’m not gonna use this account anymore, or tumblr in general really. Social media has become overwhelming, and being on so many platforms and having a plethora of different accounts, side accounts has just been a whole lot. It’s been getting me down recently.
So I’ve decided to get rid of this one!!
I won’t be deleting anything on here, all my accounts will still be up, I just won’t be active on them until further notice. Maybe I’ll come back one faithful day or hop on every now and then…but for the most part it’s gonna be radio silence here🫡
That being said!!!!! I will still be active on Instagram under the username ‘Teazzrr’ in case you still want to follow me and see new art(hopefully)!!
But really, thanks for supporting me on here! And thank you if you continue to on Instagram. Some of the reblogs and things written in the tags and my ask box are just the sweetest things I’ve read ever, and they’ve given me a good laugh! I genuinely appreciate all of you, and all the kind words!!!!
All in all, not gone, just won’t be here on tumblr any longer, and this was a really long way of saying that, lolz!! :]
#Te talks#sometimes social media becomes way to much for me#and I’m unsure how to handle it#but I figure this is a good way to do it#for now at least#but thanks for all of the support on here#you guys are the best!!! I feel bad that I wasn’t as talkative or active#especially given that some of you really were invested in my art and ideas#I really do appreciate it..how much you’ll never know!!!#and all of this sounds like I’m going for good lolz#I’m still on Insta!!! but I felt I had 2 say something here for those who may not be able to follow me there#or might not want 2#either way#talking in the tags#maybe edit this later#it feels so long!!!
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so ok yeah fine i watched gravity falls again and read the book of bill
#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#bill got me again…. in 2024… what a time#also billford canon lets GO#2015 me is living#drawing gf again after so long feels surreal but good#ford pines#gravity falls#my art
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I don’t WANT a career. I want to cuddle and sleep and eat and read and create and love and be loved.
#Feeling like a grumpy anticapitalist hobbit lately#… so#a hobbit#Ughhhhhh#Bored at work and longing for home#20k
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The math just adds up!
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#I always loved how chapter 27 ends with them both so bloody and 28 starts with them in the bath.#not just because of how iconic the bathtub moment is but because you know they had to scrap off so much gore first.#I think everyone in the party took a very long and methodical bath but Falin was basically *all* blood*.#Being covered in blood is one of those 'just girly things' that women deserve to stop being shamed about.#I just don't think Chilchuck is progressive enough. He probably made them take a bath first B*/#Okay jestering aside I want to just highlight -#The magnitude of Marcille's joy at seeing her dearest friend again! Of holding her and sharing her presence in the same room!#Something about this reunion feels like a beautiful dream you are afraid of waking up from...
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What I am gathering from current fandom discussion
#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#wild life#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#trafficblr#life series#traffic smp#tbh I feel like the solar system symbolism hasn’t hit the same since the og 3#but I find it so funny how it was kept alive as long as possible unfortunately Joel’s whole thing this season was a fucking Car#and that’s the line in the sand 😭😭
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local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6
#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16#he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him#Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios#like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj#Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life#everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down#Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery#Kabru is so locked in#Kabru used signature move: charming smile#Laios: no effect!#there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic#labru#laios touden#kabru of utaya#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#wasabi rambles#seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian#baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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DANDADAN
#my art#dandadan#momo ayase#okarun#for dandadan I wanted to make a picture that rewarded you for looking at it longer and longer#spent way too long on this one when I have MCM coming up haha#I got mixed feelings on this manga but overall I just love the relationship between these two#it's so refreshing and sweet
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ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE, people dropping mad mad sums of money on gfms and charities and stuff are extremely impressive but that DOES NOT MEAN that putting like $5 towards someone's fund or any good cause is any less valuable, a lot of crowdfunding is about momentum and those single digits add up super fast, you do not need to be Rolling In The Dough to make someone's day!! moving the dial at all is extremely positive!!
#what is ACTUAL POISON to crowdfunding is The Full Stop. when it just runs cold. at that point a single dollar coming in feels like#pushing the wheels out of the mud. all you need is movement. as long as it keeps moving.#this applies to gofundmes this applies to large organizations this applies to people asking for grocery money#moving the needle even just the slightest bit!! is huge!!#take it from someone who gets excited about $1 patrons#sergle.txt#people used to attach Apology messages to their $5 when I was raising money for my breast reduction#as if they should be doing more. but they were already doing so much and I was elated to just see a new donation Of Any Amount#ANY donation is extremely exciting to the person or people actually receiving it!!!!
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one
his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.
ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication
ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#shuro dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#toshiro nakamoto#dont get me wrong i understand relating to a character and hating whoever wrongs them cause youre protective or you relate really hard#but i think toshiros been getting the short end of the stick for a long time now 😭#even his love for falin is misunderstood#he literally states all the reasons he likes her#and none of them are superficial#but hes so closed off and has such difficulty expressing himself that instead of asking her out or smth he just#proposed to her out of the blue 😭#leading a lot of ppl to just assume that he went 'white woman spotted' and proposed#do Not misunderstand me i am#a HUGE farcille stan#obviously#but i dont think toshiros feelings are surface level and i think theyre absolutely crucial to understanding him and his motivations#as a character in this story
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does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.
#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like#completion consistancy i am thinking for with this#personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥#i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional#i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic#but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one#it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played#however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music#because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do#so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan#very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay#TO ME 🤫#if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead
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@strangeravatar made a great point
i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make
but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do
ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad
#conclusion: if one of them smokes weed they BOTH get high#but it's a baby's metabolism vs a sun god's so if CELESTIA is zooted spike is DEAD#i also like to imagine rainbow dash becomes quite the philosopher while under the influence#and yes their bong IS zecoras potion bottle from season 4 episode 1/2 thanks for asking#anyways#this is a long ass comic with. minimal payoff. but we're POSTING IT ANYWAY BABES#i couldnt decide if it would be funnier to have zephyr breeze at the end or one of those regular white blue-haired blue-eyed stock guards#i left it as zephyr. the real ones get it#i guess the real ones are everybody who saw season 9 episode 4#but cmon why ELSE do you think celestia would hire that guy#it's cause she's a freak and im calling her out on my tumblr dot com#mlp#mlp fim#mlp friendship is magic#mlp g4#mlp fanart#princess celestia#princess luna#rainbow dash#fluttershy#spike the dragon#zephyr breeze#horse comic#me art#also that font is one i made based off my own handwriting!! im so happy about it#though it does look. exactly like comic sans#idk how to feel about that tbh#wow you can just talk to yourself in the tags forever and no one will even know huh
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“Vétkesek közt cinkos, aki néma”
from the book “Jónás könyve” by Babits Mihály. Although the phrase itself cannot be directly translated, it is what best fits this topic in my opinion. Vaguely this sentence means that someone who chooses to stay silent in a situation is still at fault. Curly, who enabled Jimmy’s behaviour and actions towards Anya is guilty as well, however he did not deserve any of the things he had gone through after the crash.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing art#mouthwashing fanart#anya#curly#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#nurse anya#stellarphileistic#curly in my opinion is also an analogy for anya’s pregnancy#the art itself is refenrced by#William-Adolphe Bouguereau ‘Pietà’#art#fanart#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing game#sorry for so many hashtags#I always feel sm shame for using this many#but I worked so long on this piece
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