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egcdeath · 4 years ago

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a blip in the reader-verse

chapter 4: going once, going twice

summary: you meet an interesting character while attending a charity auction.

warnings: soft moments, angsty moments. asshole ransom, soft ransom. you’ve been warned.

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader, overarching steve rogers x reader

word count: 3.4k

author’s note: before anyone asks, i don’t really consider this cheating since it’s just steve in a different universe. but i’d skip this chapter if it won’t sit right with you!

p.s. i had to google translate some french, please don’t hate me if you speak french and it’s awful🥺

previous chapter / series masterlist

Sounds seemed to be the first thing you noticed as you entered a new universe. This was absolutely no different.

Well, except for the fact that the first sound you noticed was the announcing of your own name.

From the moment your eyes opened, you were met with a blinding yellow light, and the urge to stand up. You glanced over at the table that you’d previously been sat at, and received raised brows from Aaliyah, who’d been sitting at the white, round table across from you, along with a hand gesture that shoo-ed you away.

You timidly walked up to the small and raised platform of a stage, and stood next to a person who vaguely resembled your old boss from your main universe.

“Alright, ladies and gents! Our final lady of the night, well, not a lady of the night, is the gorgeous Y/N L/N! Starting at $1,000, do we have any takers?”

You looked out into the ocean of round tables, and watched a decently handsome man, with dark hair and a beard raise his paddle, “1,500!” he called out.

The man received a death glare from someone else at his table, and looked up at both the stage and you to raise his own paddle. “2,500,” he responded in a bored tone.

After getting over the extreme ego boost that was being bid over, you let yourself take a good look at the second man who’d offered the cash, and,

Holy shit.

It was Steve, but it definitely wasn’t Steve.

His hair was slightly darker, he was wearing a cream sweater and long, multicolored scarf that your Steve would never be caught dead in. He held an air of confidence and cockiness that you could see from miles away, and according to his bidding style, he was loaded.

After seeing him, you desperately wanted to find a mirror and find out if your own appearance had changed at all.

“Fine, $4,000,” the bearded man offered, glancing back and forth between you, and this alternate version of Steve.

“$5,000!” A new contestant jeered, this one a rather old man whom you could tell you wanted nothing to do with.

“Old fucking geezer,” the alternate Steve muttered. “$7,000.”

There was a gasp, and a silence throughout the audience.

“$7,000 for Hugh, going once, going-”

“15,” the bearded man lifted his paddle once again. You glanced over to Aaliyah, whose eyeballs seemed to be bulging out of her head at this.

“Fuck it, 30,” Hugh sighed.

The bearded man threw his hands up in defeat, and set his paddle all the way down on his table.

“45, final!” The old man called out.

“75,” Hugh glanced around the audience, a rather smug look on his face.

“Oh wow, $75,000 going once, going twice… sold to Mr. Hugh Drysdale! Miss L/N, is there something you’re not telling us about the nature of your date?” The auctioneer passed the microphone to you, and you laughed awkwardly into it.

“Nothing that I know of,” the rest of the crowd seemed to laugh with you at this, but you couldn’t help but feel the growing discomfort in your stomach.

“Well, I’m sure the folks over at One Mission will be very happy at this sizable donation. Can we get one more cheer for Miss L/N?” You gave a friendly wave before awkwardly stepping off the stage while the people around you clapped.

You’d had a decent idea at this point of what was going on, but you couldn’t quite piece together why this Hugh character had decided to bid so high on someone he’d never even met. You sat back down at your table, and slipped your phone out of your pocket to look at yourself. Yep, same you.

“Okay, what the hell was that?” Aaliyah asked you, a mixture of confusion and excitement present in her tone.

“Hell if I know,” you sighed, and scratched your neck nervously.

“I mean, I get it, you’re hot. But the price of a luxury vehicle for a date? You’re gonna have to let him finger you at least,” she giggled.

“Shut up,” you groaned at the thought. You were still feeling pretty confused about the fact that the Steve in this universe wasn’t actually Steve at all. You so far, you’d only really met Steves that were well… Steve.

You internally lamented the situation, until you noticed someone plop down at the open seat at the table, causing you to turn and look at him.

“This seat taken?” Hugh asked, and you shook your head. “Great, now it is,” he quipped.

“I’ll give you two a moment. I’m gonna go find my own socialite,” Aaliyah bantered, slipping up from her chair and following through on her comment.

“So you must really love those kids you just donated to,” you awkwardly chuckled.

“Oh hell no. Fuck those kids. I just hate losing, and I absolutely was not gonna let those douchebags win,” he looked down at his hands and played with his pinky ring in an extremely bored manner.

“Oh, okay,” you nodded slowly. This man was a complete 180 to the type of Steve that you were used to. Your Steve was warm and caring, but this man seemed cold and apathetic. Your Steve would gladly lay his life on the line for anyone, and this man didn’t even seem to have the emotional capacity to hold the door for someone else. “So Hugh, what do you plan to do on our date?” You lifted up your glass of champagne and took a little sip.

“Call me Ransom, only the help call me Hugh. We’ll probably just go to Europe or something.”

You nearly spat out your drink at this. In fact, you felt a little carbonation in your nose. Then again, Ransom just spent ¾ of a hundred thousand on a date with you. “Jesus,” you murmured.

“Think you can head out tomorrow?”

----

Waking up in the bedroom of the apartment you seemed to share with Aaliyah taught you two things. One, you could apparently sleep in these universes and not wake up elsewhere, and two, the walls of your apartment were far too thin.

You glanced over at the clock on your bedside table, and noted the time. You had about an hour before you needed to be at the airport.

You quickly threw a mixture of clothing, a phone charger, a packet of birth control, and some skincare products into a suitcase before heading out to the kitchen to grab a granola bar. You chewed half the bar before hopping into the shower, then tossing on some ugly, but comfortable travelling clothes.

Maybe you spent a bit too long checking yourself in the mirror that morning with the newfound knowledge that you were now worth at least 75,000 dollars. Frankly, having multiple (attractive) men fight over you was the greatest boost to your pride that you’d ever been given.

Glancing down at your phone after the matter, you realized that you only had a few minutes to order an Uber to pick you up, unless you wanted to be late and miss your flight.

----

You had your baggage checked, stumbled through TSA, and showed the screenshot of your plane ticket a boatload of times to a multitude of people before you finally reached the lounge, and found Ransom sitting on a sofa with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Why the hell are you dressed like that?” Ransom asked you as you approached, looking up and down at your outfit of a college sweatshirt and loose joggers.

“Because I want to be comfortable, you dick. Do rich people not like being comfortable?” You sat down beside him on the sofa, and slumped into the chair. Who knew travelling throughout the multiverse could be so tiring? “Besides, you have like seven holes in that sweater. I wouldn’t be talking about anyone else’s clothes if I gladly let moths have a four course meal on my things,” you scoffed.

That seemed to shut him up for a bit.

Eventually, your flight number was called, and you, along with the few other first class flyers piled into the plane.

You sat down next to Ransom in a soft chair that seemed to lower back into some sort of makeshift mattress, and slipped your phone out of your pocket to send your friends a message that you were taking off.

“You excited?” You asked Ransom while he began to slip a pair of Beats onto his head.

“Yeah, I like Nice,” he nodded, then grabbed his own phone to connect to the headphones.

“So you’ve been there before?” Ransom nodded, clearly trying to ignore you. “Do you have a plan on fun places to take me?” He shrugged.

You got the message, and huffed as you sat back in your seat. Right before takeoff, you received a message back from Aaliyah of a picture of her cat, and that was enough to bring a smile to your face.

——

About 7 hours into your flight, you noticed Ransom picking out a movie to watch, and you found the idea intriguing.

“What’cha watching?” You asked, leaning over a bit into his space.

“Nothing,” he said stiffly, and you rolled your eyes.

“Porn?” You joked, glancing up at him to see if it landed or not. It did not.

“You know what? You’re a lot prettier when you’re quiet.”

You slunk back into your seat at this and turned your head away from Ransom. The words really bit at you, considering that it sounded just like your Steve, and if you squinted enough, it looked like him too. But your Steve would never say something like that to you, right?

For a moment, you twisted the watch on your wrist consideringly, wondering if you should go to the next universe, where you might gain a little more respect from your partner. Yet something told you to wait it out. If this was still, in some convoluted way, Steve, he’d come around, right?

That alone gave you enough reason to stay.

----

You dragged your suitcase into a hotel room much too big for just two people after nearly 12 hours of an extremely awkward flight, and even more awkward cab ride to the hotel.

After plopping your things down into the bigger bedroom of the hotel, you stretched rather dramatically in hopes of waking up some of the stiff muscles in your body. In the midst of this, Ransom came up behind you, and set a hand on your back, scaring the life out of you.

“What the hell, Ransom! A knock or a ‘hello’ will do it next time!”

You turned to look at him, and became a bit flustered at his shirtless, short-clad figure. It was silly, because you’d seen Steve naked a million times before, and this was simply Steve in another universe.

“You coming to the spa with me?” He smirked as you blatantly checked him out. “Okay, yeah. You’re coming with me. I’ll meet you at the front door.”

You spent around an hour at the spa with Ransom, sweating yourself out in the sauna until you were likely majorly dehydrated, soaking in the heated pool until your skin became pruny and wrinkled, and ending the night with a massage that sent you straight to sleep.

Like, deep sleep. When you became even slightly conscious, Ransom was laying you in your pillowy soft bed. As your eyes opened the slightest bit at him, he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Pretending to sleep, how cute,” he muttered sarcastically. You’d argue with him, but you were simply too exhausted to do so. In fact, you were convinced you’d just given him a whole monologue about how travelling makes people tired, but the most that had exited your mouth was a tiny squeak.

You watched Ransom leave the room, before your head collapsed onto your shoulder, and you fell back into a nice rest.

When you awoke, it was not on your own will.

An overly saturated light attacked your eyes from behind your eyelids, and came all at once, snapping you out of your dreamless slumber. When you glanced over at the harsh source, you noticed none other than Ransom by your window, with a hand on the drape.

“Time to wake up. It’s like, 3 PM, by the way,” he huffed before exiting your room, not even allowing you to reply.

You groaned in annoyance, having an off handed thought about how jet lag was kicking your ass, before rolling out of bed and trying to find something nice to put on.

By the time you left your room, Ransom was standing by the door, aimlessly scrolling on his phone. “You wanna go for a walk?”

“Sure, I guess. I’m kinda hungry though, so maybe we can stop somewhere first?”

Ransom shrugged and gave you what seemed like the hint of a smile, and you hurried to put on your shoes before heading out.

——

The two of you ended up on the patio of some local restaurant, your eyes skimming the menu while Ransom took sips of his complimentary water.

What seemed to be out of nowhere, a burly man came rushing over to your table, and appeared to be approaching Ransom, as he turned his head to look at the man, then quickly looked away.

The man, who you could only assume to be the owner, clapped Ransom on the back, and in return, Ransom slumped over in embarrassment.

You were definitely going to enjoy this.

“Où étiez-vous?, Ranny?” Where have you been?

“Occupé, Henri.” Busy, Henri. Ransom clearly had a dark red blush on his face now, and he glanced at you as if you could offer him some sort of assistance.

“Trop occupé avec la dame?” Too busy with the lady? Henri asked with a smirk.

“No!”

“Présentez-moi à elle,” Introduce her to me.

Ransom sighed dramatically, then sat up from hunching, “Y/N, this is Henri. He’s a family friend,” you couldn’t help but notice how pleased Henri seemed, “Henri, this is Y/N, mon rendez-vous,” My date.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Henri extended a hand out to you and you gladly shook it. He turned back to Ransom, and continued grilling him. “Est-ce votre cavalier ou votre petite amie?” Is she your date or your girlfriend?

“Mon rendez-vous!” My date! You don’t think you’d ever seen anyone become this flustered so fast.

“Hey Henri,” you interrupted, feeling a tiny bit left out, “any way that we could order first, then you could come back here and tell me all the embarrassing stories about Ransom you can remember?”

“That sounds fun to me,” he shrugged.

——

During lunch, you’d learned more about Ransom than you ever knew you needed to know. In the midst of it all, you couldn’t help but to think about how different he was compared to your Steve. His parents were extremely wealthy (no surprise there), he went to boarding school in Nice (which explained his ability to speak French), and Ransom was a bit of an art nerd (perhaps some characteristics could transcend universes).

Surprisingly, he was starting to grow on you. Which was why you were far from opposed to his suggestion of going sight-seeing around the town.

The first stop you took wasn’t too far from the restaurant. A quaint little gift store with tiny knicknacks lining the shelves, and a relentless, old, orange cat who did not seem to want to leave Ransom alone.

“You should pet her, Ran,” you suggested, leaning down to do so yourself.

“First of all, don’t call me that. Second of all, if you pet her once, it’ll literally never stop,” He glanced over at you from where he was standing at a set of tourist-oriented keychains.

“Are you speaking from firsthand experience?” You grinned down at the cat who was now aggressively rubbing its head against your hand.

“Yes. Luis may seem nice, but one second you’re petting his head, and the next, you’re carrying him around the store, the whole time he’s whispering in your ear for you to buy more things.”

You were a bit taken aback at this, for a second concerned that the man you’d impulsively travelled to Europe with had a few screws loose, since he was apparently hearing local cats speak to him. That’s of course, when Ransom broke into laughter. It took you a second before you laughed a bit too.

“That was so weird, man. Don’t do that again,” you lightly punched his shoulder, then went to pick up Luis who was more than happy to be transported around like an infant.

After buying a nice mug and a postcard to give to Aaliyah once you returned home, and parting with Luis who seemed to feel a bit, you suggested hopping in a cab to visit one of the many art museums Nice had to offer.

After a bit of bickering in the backseat, the two of you compromised on the Modern and Contemporary Art museum, and you couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit excited.

Around two hours post-arrival at the museum, you realized that, maybe modern art wasn’t exactly your thing. But it certainly was Ransom’s. He rambled on and on about different pieces that seemed completely mundane to you. Who knew that someone could talk for nearly half of an hour about a canvas painted completely one color?

You noted a shift in Ransom’s attitude towards you. It was clear that you were willing to put up with his little antics, and as the day went on, he began to let down more and more of the tough guy persona he’d had up for so long. To your Steve, at least, art was something that made him feel a bit vulnerable, and you figured that Ransom held the same sentiment. This thought made you feel vaguely homesick, and go in for a half-hug from Ransom, who gladly returned it while he shamelessly effused.

It wasn’t the same, but for you, it was good enough.

----

You very much enjoyed the rest of your day with Ransom, hopping from interesting site to interesting site with him, and sharing a multitude of fond memories that you hoped would stick with you throughout your inter-dimensional travels.

You ended the night with him on the piano bench in the lobby of your hotel. He wordlessly played a Chopin piece while you mindlessly listened. It was a rather relaxing experience, and quite the finale of your day. You had a bit of a nagging feeling that this was the finale of your time in this universe as well.

“Today was really nice,” out of nowhere, Ransom began.

You hummed in agreement, “it was.”

“I guess I shouldn’t have taken you to all my favorite places on day one, but oh well,” he half chuckled to himself, and you pulled back to look up at Ransom.

“You took me to your favorite places? That’s.. Wow. That’s really sweet,” you glanced down at the piano, then back up at Ransom. He gave you a soft smile in return.

This was the moment, right? The silence that followed that was your perfect opportunity to be kissed. Yet, Ransom wasn’t taking it. So you decided to lean forward slightly, and do it yourself. Catching onto what you were getting ready to do, Ransom moved away from you slightly, and shook his head.

“Hey, I don’t really do that,” Ransom looked down at you, and bit the inside of his lip.

Deep down, you knew that this was just a man who looked like your man rejecting you, but the less rational side of yourself only told you one thing.

Steve was rejecting you.

He was leaving you again, he wouldn’t even kiss you. The thought of it put you somewhere between seeing red, and seeing nothing at all from the tears that were now flooding your vision.

The one thing that had once convinced you to stay, was now begging you to leave.

You reached down to your watch, and fiddled aggressively with it. Part of you felt bad for leaving a version of yourself to deal with the awkward aftermath of what just occurred, but another part of you just wanted to get the hell away from all of the distressing emotions you were feeling.

That part of you seemed to be stronger than anything else. You glanced down at your watch, pressed the button on the side that you were told could make you leave, and let nature take its course after feeling the soft vibrations run throughout your arm.

next chapter

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #ABITRV

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girlsgonemildblog · 4 years ago

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Is It Too Late to Apply? - The Bachelor Season 25, Week 1 Recap

All images from abc.com

I am a feminist and hate how society continually pits women against each other to compete for men. But two hours a week, for 8-10 weeks a year, I put all of that aside because I LOVE The Bachelor. Give me all the chaos, the drama, the make-outs, the heartbreaks, and the ridiculously sparkly dresses you have. I will watch every second of it and live-tweet the whole thing without an ounce of guilt.

I’m very excited about this new season because there have been almost no spoilers (maybe they should do every season in a bubble?). Just to clarify, I never seek out spoilers, but sometimes they show up on my twitter feed and accost me without my consent. I am promising now; if that does happen for this season, I will not include them in my recaps. Anyway, let’s begin.

It makes sense to start by introducing the bachelor, especially because he’s completely new to Bachelor Nation, Matt James.

Matt James is the first actually hot bachelor in a long time. Colton and Nick Viall were both cute, and Arie and Pete were fine, but Matt James is literally gorgeous. He was supposed to be on Clare’s season until she called him out for using being on her season for clout. To clarify, the “clout” he was using was to get donations to the charity he runs, ABC Food Tours. And his clout did not come from being on her season as much as from being the best friend of the one and only Tyler Cameron. If you are new to Bachelor Nation, Tyler C, as he is (extremely) affectionately called, was the heartthrob of the second most recent season of The Bachelorette. He came in second that season but bounced back quickly by dating Gigi Hadid. Tyler did try to make it work with his bachelorette, Hannah Brown, during quarantine (Matt was also quarantining with them), but they broke up a few months ago.

Because Matt is new to Bachelor Nation, we really don’t know much about him. From the introduction package, we learned that he is mixed-race, and his parents separated when he was young. He also says he has never been in love before, which has made some audience members wary of his position as the bachelor.

His newness also means that he also doesn’t know a lot about the process, and watching him navigate through it with doe-eyed wonder makes him even more charming. We saw his nervousness when he asked Chris Harrison for a fireside chat before the girls started arriving. Chris gave some of his patented Chris-Harrison-advice about love, but they also had a very real conversation about race, which is not something usually seen on this show. Matt voiced his fears about what people will say if he picks a White girl or a Black girl, which was great because The Bachelor usually operates with a “we don’t see race” mindset, which is problematic for obvious reasons. The season of The Bachelorette that ended just two weeks ago featured a Black bachelorette getting engaged to a White contestant. I have not seen any commentary about this, but I’m sure it’s out there; I’m just lucky enough to follow good people.

This season had a record number of applications, and there were 32 contestants on the first night. It would be insane to go through every single one of them, mainly because I don’t remember all of them, so I am just going to discuss the five that stood out to me.

Katie

Katie’s limo-entrance was the cold open of the show, as she introduced herself to Matt James while holding her vibrator. To call this a bold move may be the biggest understatement of all time. I am all for female empowerment and being open about female sexuality, but this was a lot. Especially when she clarified that it had been cleaned, meaning it was not brand new as I had assumed. I don’t care how much she scrubbed it; that’s gross. Also, as another girl was talking to Matt about how the hurricanes had affected her family in Puerto Rico, Katie came up and interrupted her by tapping the girl on the shoulder with the dildo. Whatever the conversation was, that was a weird move. During that specific conversation, it’s rude. If you’re going to do something like that, you have to hold back a second and figure out what the conversation’s vibe is before you interrupt. Still, I like Katie. I think she’s cute and funny. She could go far in this show, as long as she does not rely on the dildo-bit too much.

Khaylah

Nothing about Khaylah blew me away, but she made her entrance in her truck and made that connection to Matt of both being from North Carolina. During the cocktail party, the two of them sat in the bed of the truck under the stars in an adorable moment. In a sea of 32 girls, I was able to remember her (though I did have to look up her name), which I think is a good sign for her with Matt.

Abigail

Abigail and Matt had a great conversation about her being hard of hearing and how it’s difficult for her to talk about when starting a new relationship. Matt, who had stressed his own difficulty with being vulnerable, appreciated her openness. Abigail got the first real kiss of the season, as well as the coveted first impression rose. This rose can be a great sign, as the receiver usually goes far in the competition, and three bachelorettes in a row ended up getting engaged to the person who got this rose. That being said, just last season, Tayshia’s first-impression-rose, Spencer, immediately faded to the background before being cut two weeks later. Still, I am going to keep my eye on her.

Kit

Kit is already a polarizing figure. She’s 21 years old, a self-proclaimed socialite, and the daughter of famous fashion designer Cynthia Rowley. She watched the premiere on Monday with Charlotte Lawrence and Kaia Gerber. For these reasons, plus her saying in a confessional that she loves being the center of attention, people are calling her spoiled, too young, and “not there for the right reasons” (a favorite phrase of Bachelor Nation). I like Kit, though. I think she is unapologetically herself, and I have to admire that. In addition, I think The Bachelor has gotten so big that we have to assume almost every contestant goes on with the thought that maybe they get engaged, but at the very least they’ll get a revolve sponsorship. It’s also clear that she is not going to be the season’s villain, at least not at first.

Victoria

That title is going to go to no other than “Queen” Victoria. Yes, for her career, Victoria listed herself as a queen. She made poor interns carry her in, wore a tiara, and gave Matt a crown so he could be her king. During the cocktail party, she got way too drunk and tried to pressure a girl to talk to Matt by saying “literally” too many times. She also spoke to him three times, while others talked to him zero. This isn’t uncommon on the first night, but it’s still looked down on. Also, she interrupted Kit’s time by saying, “excuse me, princess, the queen is here,” igniting a feud that will be entertaining as all hell to watch. She also got the final rose of the night, signaling to the viewer that the producers made Matt keep her on for the drama. My prediction is all the girls hate her, and she fuels drama for the beginning, but ultimately gets sent home week 3 or 4, so that actual relationship drama can begin. After that, we’ll see her for sure in Paradise.

Matt sent home eight girls, Alicia, Emani, Saneh, Amber, Corrinne, Carolyn, Cassandra, and Kimberly. Alicia was a professional ballerina, which is pretty impressive, and Cassandra’s sister made a funny TikTok about her getting sent home.

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gayboy-selfships-archive · 4 years ago

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It’s Not About the Money Anymore (A Waylon Smithers x Self Insert Fiction) Chapter One

Everyone at Stellaluceat Manor could remember as clear as day when Audrey Joseph Stellaluceat returned to the manor. He hadn’t stepped foot in the place since he had turned 18. Nobody had ever expected them to return, but after his parents' untimely death, he had no problem returning home.

Mrs. Diane, the head maid, was the first to meet Audrey. And the first thing Audrey did was fire her.

“I’m sorry what?”

“I said you’re fired. You...and everyone else,” Audrey replied, not even looking up from his clipboard.

“But why?”

“I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. I’ve been living on my own for 20 years, I don’t need people to cook and clean for me.”

“With all due respect, sir, I really need this job to feed my children. And I’ve been working for this family since I was young. At least let me stay.”

Audrey looked up with a puzzled look.

“You mean to tell me that you want to work here?”

Mrs. Diane nodded.

“Hmm...and other people feel the same way?”

“I’m sure they do sir.”

“Okay...Well tell all the staff that if they want to leave they’re welcome to and they will be offered a severance pay of 10 thousand and anyone who stays will receive a significant raise and..” Audrey leafed through the papers before him and scowled, “actual medical and dental benefits since you don’t even have a fucking a heath insurance plan.”

“Oh. Thank you so much, sir”

“Sorry I’m giving you all these tasks. Once I get a personal assistant you won't have to run these errands.”

“I don’t mind, sir”

“Please, call me Audrey, you have been working here since I was a baby.”

For the first time since he had moved in, Audrey showed a genuine smile, though it was quickly gone as he returned to business.

“Anyways, please take care of that, I have much to attend to before I retire for the night.”

Mrs. Diane nodded and excused herself to call the rest of the staff in for a meeting.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night found Audrey by the piano, plucking out an old tune that he had heard his mother sing many times before. The handful of maids and butlers gathered around the door to the room that held the old grand piano. Diane was the only one brave enough to walk into the room and stand by the piano as he played.

“You’re quite good at that, sir.”

“Ah, it’s just an old lullaby. Besides, the piano needs tuning.”

Diane nodded, “I can call someone to take care of that.”

“I’ll worry about that in the morning. Shouldn’t you be home by now?”

“Oh I don’t leave until the master is asleep.”

“Diane, you must have lost your mind. Go home. You’ll be lucky if I’m in bed by 2.”

“Are you sure, sir?”

“Please call me, Audrey, you could be my mother. Go home. And tell everyone else to get out unless they have a good reason to stay.”

“Of course sir.”

Over the next couple of years, Stellaluceat did everything in his power to reform his father's business. He donated most of what he made to charities, making sure he had just enough to eat, make his workers comfortable, and pay the rent. He would spoil himself occasionally and throw parties, though those parties were always benefits of some kind. He was happy and things were going okay for once.

Waylon Smithers was not as lucky. After what felt like thousands of years working for Montgomery Burns, he had been kicked to the curb. He thought at first that this was simply his bosses impulsive decisions but after a week without so much of a peep from Burns he felt like he would never so much as see Monty’s face again. It was as heartbreaking as it was ruining. Montgomery had been so much more than a boss and now he was facing the possibility of never seeing him again.

But Waylon couldn’t wallow in self pity forever (and trust me, he would if he could), he had to start looking for a new position. Days turned to weeks as he failed interview after interview. Never finding a post that fit him right.

That’s when he found, Audrey Stellaluceat’s ad in the paper. It proclaimed that the rich owner of a local tech company was looking for an assistant to help run things at his company.

Waylon felt drawn to the ad. He didn’t know what it was but the thought of having a job that's almost just like the one he had with Burns was very comforting. Plus he could have sworn the name Stellaluceat was familiar.

Maybe a change would be good for him.

When he arrived at the Stellaluceat Manor, he was greeted by a woman who introduced herself as Mrs. Diane and led him to Audrey’s study.

“Audrey? You have another interview.”

“Send him in.”

When Waylon walked into Stellaluceat’s study, Audrey had his chair turned away, towards the window.

“Name?”

“I’m Waylon Smithers, sir.”

The sound of ruffling papers stilled.

“Waylon Smithers?”

Audrey turned in his chair and stood, eyeing the man in his study with mild shock and confusion.

“Auddie?” Waylon gulped, surprised to find the boy he used to play kickball with, standing before him, “I haven’t seen you since your parents sent you to boarding school.”

Waylon has expected a hug after 28 long years of being apart. At least a smile, some sign that Audrey had missed him but instead he simply scowled at the unpleasant memory of his parents and resumed his seat.

“Yes, I suppose it has been awhile,” Audrey stated simply setting his papers on his desk, “I’m assuming you're here for the assistant's position?”

Wayon nodded, feeling more than a little dejected from the lack of excitement Audrey had displayed upon reuniting. Well he had given Audrey less and less thought over the years, they had been quite good friends growing up. They were usually the only children to attend the high society banquets that Audrey's parents and Mr. Burns would drag them too. They had also bonded over their effeminacy at a young age, always playing with Malibu Stacy dolls together. But now, Waylon wasn’t offered so much as a smile. The Audrey before him was no longer a soft, playful boy. He was hardened and steeled over. He seemed defeated and downtrodden. Like after years of trying so hard to stay positive, he had simply given up.

Audrey extended his hand.

“Resume.”

Waylon fumbled through his bag, his face growing more and more red the longer he searched for his folder. When he finally found it, he set it into Audrey’s still-waiting hand. If he had been bothered by the wait, he didn’t say anything. It was several long minutes of painful silence before Audrey spoke up.

“Well not a lot of people have the kind of experience you do. That’s good. Most people are under the impression that this is some kind of glorified butlering gig. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

Audrey fixed him with a stern glare.

“I need someone with experience in business. Someone who can help me manage my company and run my life. I’m a very busy man and I can only spread myself so thin. If you can’t help me with that then I’m afraid this isn't the job for you.”

“Actually, sir, that’s exactly my area of expertise.”

Audrey gave an approving nod, continuing to rifle through Smithers’ papers.

“Now before I give you the slightest hope that you could be hired, I need to make one thing exceptionally clear, I don’t tolerate bigotry in my company. Any employees who display any form of homophobia, racism, transphobia, will be fired without question. That won’t be a problem for you, will it, Smithers?”

Waylon was taken aback by the sudden fierce aura that surrounded Audrey in this moment, but he had to admit he felt very safe for some reason.

“I assure you, I wouldn’t be caught dead exhibiting that kind of behavior.”

Audrey relaxed, flashing Waylon a rare smile before handing back his resume.

“Honestly, I’m so sick of these interviews. It would be nice to have another familiar face around. If I don’t find anyone by tonight I’ll call you. Please give your number to Mrs. Diane before leaving. Have a good day.”

Waylon nodded, saddened by his excessive curtness, and showed himself out.

The next couple hours, Waylon spent in the sweet feeling of relief that he might actually make the rent this month. He let himself relax for the first time in what felt like eons.

Maybe moving on from Monty would be good for him. And he had heard of how Mr. Burns spoke of Audrey. It was with a burning anger that he only directed to those who wished for change. He called Audrey a “Broken up bleeding heart” and seemed to have extreme distaste for all of Audrey's initiatives for a better future. One of which made a direct attack at the power plant

He was surprised to be woken up in the middle of the night by a phone call.

“Smithers, good news. You’re hired. Be here at 6 AM sharp tomorrow we have a lot to go over.”

Waylon wasn’t even given a chance to respond before being met with the click of the other line being cut off.

#Self Insert #Selfshipping #selfships #self ship community #f/o: nuclear power couple

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vannahfanfics · 5 years ago

Note

Hello! For the alphabet challenge reward, the first character I'd like to request is Baby 5! :)

Thank you again for your donation! Here’s the first reward~ I hope you enjoy it!

Fluff Alphabet: Baby 5

A- Activities: How do they spend their time with their s/o?

Baby 5 lives to please her s/o in all aspects of life, and therefore, she always looks to her s/o to see how they want to spend their time together! Staying in, going out- Baby 5 has no preference as long as she’s with the person she loves. If her s/o insists on doing something she wants, there will be a bit of back-and-forth at first, but if her s/o is insistent enough, she’ll cave. Believe it or not, Baby 5 is more of a homebody and would love to just snuggle up with her s/o and watch a movie, play a fun board or videogame, or cook together! She’s a simple gal and simple things make her happy, but nothing more so than being with her s/o!

B- Body: What does this character appreciate about their s/o? What part of their body are they most proud of, and in reverse, what body part are they ashamed of and how do they respond to their s/o gushing over it?

As has been addressed, Baby falls in love comically easily, and at first, it’s hard to determine if there is any one thing that she loves about her s/o. If one pays attention long enough, though, you’ll notice one thing about Baby- she loves to lay her head on her s/o’s shoulder! Whether they’re taller or shorter, or they’re just walking around town together or cuddling, she just loves to wind her arms around theirs and lay her head down.

As far as Baby is concerned, she actually is pretty proud of her silky black hair. She takes special care to shampoo and condition it nightly, and loves to accessorize- bows, frilly scrunchies, hats, the whole nine yards; she loves calling attention to it! So, when her s/o points out how lovely and soft her hair is, she’s a gushing mess and so pleased that they noticed and complimented her!

That being said, Baby is a bit self-conscious about her legs. She knows she’s a tall gal and her legs make up a lot of her, and sometimes she wonders if that’s intimidating or makes her less cute! Despite her wearing outfits that showcase them (because, after all, a girl needs to be able to move in a fight), she worries that her s/o doesn’t like them. The first time her s/o compliments her legs, she’ll be over the moon instantly; the fact that her s/o not only accepts but appreciates that part of her almost makes her self-consciousness vanish instantly! She’ll definitely take more care to show them off for her s/o, wearing slim-fitting pants or dresses that highlight that part of her!

C- Cuddles: Is this character a cuddler? What is their favorite way to cuddle?

Baby 5 loves to be all over her s/o, and cuddles are a must! As mentioned before, Baby loves to lay her head on her s/o shoulder (bonus if they stroke her hair!) but she doesn’t mind other ways either; spooning in bed, sitting between their legs on the couch watching a movie, curled up in their lap while they hold her in their big arms- Baby is all game!

D- Dreams: How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Once someone is in Baby 5’s life, she can’t imagine life without them. Baby 5 has it planned out from beginning to end- a beautiful wedding, having several children, retiring to a nice little island with a beach and spending the rest of her days with her s/o taking sunset walks or just admiring the scenery. She has goals like these, but honestly Baby 5 is going to align herself with her partner’s goals more than anything; she’ll go wherever and do whatever they want, because as long as they are in her life she will be pleased!

E- Equivalence: Is this character the dominant force in the relationship, are they passive, or is the relationship more or less even?

Baby 5 is definitely a passive sort. Her head-over-heels-in-love nature takes the spunky edge that she has with other people away from interactions with her s/o. In due time, once she is comfortable in the relationship and realizes that she is her own person, she may take up the playful banter and slight independence she has with others, but she definitely won’t take an active role in decisions. Baby will definitely need someone who always considers and welcomes her insights into things, lest she be easily taken advantage of.

F- Fights: How does this character respond to arguments with their s/o? What would they fight about, and who would cave and apologize first?

Baby 5’s desire to please can get a little grating sometimes; a caring s/o would want her to think for herself for a change rather than solely exist for them, and this can lead to some spats. It will definitely take Baby 5 some time to realize that she doesn’t have to be this way. Of course, it will be less of an argument than Baby simply sobbing and begging forgiveness even if she really doesn’t understand why her s/o is mad in the first place; she just knows that she has done “something” wrong and needs to apologize. After she finally gets it through her head and alters her behavior, though, life is honestly smooth sailing with Baby. She’s patient, understanding, considerate, and caring, and will give little cause for arguments at all. Well, except for maybe her inability to say “no” even after all this time…

G- Gratitude: How does this character show their s/o that they are grateful?

Baby 5 is very thoughtful about her gestures! She loves to thank her s/o every day for their wonderful life together in some way, whether its cooking, massages, gifts, or just telling them outright! She’s dreamed of a meaningful relationship her entire life and is so grateful to her s/o for providing her one, and so she’s going to go the extra mile to express her gratitude. She takes very careful note of their likes and dislikes to tailor her gestures to them.

H- Honeymoon: If this character had a honeymoon with their s/o, where would they go?

Baby 5 loves the beach, and a honeymoon in a tropical paradise with her s/o would be absolute heaven! Romantic walks in the morning or under the moonlight, scuba-diving or wildlife tours, lounging in hammocks drinking cocktails, late-night swimming in pools or the ocean- it’s enough to make any girl’s heart get to thumping! She would collect pretty shells for her s/o and get excited at all the cute little fish and other creatures around. As in her nature, though, even if this isn’t the case, Baby 5 will be overjoyed to go anywhere with her s/o for a romantic getaway.

I- Insecurity: What is this character insecure about? How do they deal with their insecurities with their s/o?

Baby 5 is fully aware of her personality and incessant need to please everyone, and she knows this can grate on her s/o after a while. Despite that, she just… can’t… help herself! This will lead Baby 5 to question if one day her s/o will have enough of her and leave her, which terrifies her to no end, and this will result in her going to even greater lengths to make them happy so they won’t ever, ever leave her! Baby’s gonna need a smart s/o that can recognize this behavior, because the poor dear isn’t going to be able to herself. Once her s/o sits her down and explains that she doesn’t need to go so far for them, that they love her and she makes them happy just by being, Baby 5 will have a bit of a revelation and tone it down. She’s still going to be excessive with the gestures, but simply because it makes her happy and not because she wants to please her s/o enough to stay around.

J- Jealousy: Is this character the jealous type? How do they deal with being jealous?

Baby 5 has a mild jealous streak, but not extreme. If she sees someone coming onto her s/o, she’ll definitely plaster herself all over them (if she isn’t already) to make it obvious that they are taken. Baby won’t try to hide her jealousy if she’s approached about it; her feelings are so strong for her s/o and she just can’t stand the idea of someone else having them, and she’ll be honest about it. If someone tries to goad her into a fight over her s/o, however, watch out! Baby will definitely bite back and you may end up on the receiving end of her Devil Fruit powers! No one is gonna steal her s/o on her watch!

K- Kiss: What does the character want their first kiss to be like with their s/o? How does it end up happening?

Baby’s a romantic soul, and so of course she’s going to fantasize about her first kiss. Her daydreams are the stuff of romance dramas, the perfect setting, the perfect moment, the perfect kiss. For the first kiss, Baby won’t initiate; she wants it to be like all the stories, and her s/o has to engage! It really depends on her s/o on how it ends up. Whether it’s planned or spontaneous, like the movies or a little not, though, Baby’s gonna melt into a pile of happy mush. She’s a bit shy with kissing at first, and she’s definitely gonna be blushing and cute!

L- Love Confession: How does this character first profess their love to their s/o?

Baby feels her emotions right at the surface and has no qualms about expressing them, so professing her love is no great ordeal for her! Baby will come right out and say it, no shame, no fear! It won’t really be a grand event, either; whenever Baby thinks she may be in love, she’s just going to come right out and say it right then and there- they could even be in the heat of battle and she’s just gonna shout it out!

M- Marriage: How does this character view marriage? What is their ideal wedding like?

Baby 5 is so gung-ho to get married! She loves the idea of being forever bound to someone in love. Her ideal marriage wouldn’t be excessively grand, but definitely a stylish, big wedding with all the people she and her s/o care about in attendance! She loves the idea of wedding traditions and will for sure enact a few at her wedding. The garter and bouquet toss, shoving cake in your partner’s face, being carried across the threshold- it gets her dizzy with happiness just thinking about it!

N- Nicknames: What does this character like to call their s/o?

Baby’s a bit traditional when it comes to nicknames- “honey,” “darling,” “dear,” etc. She has a whole plethora of them that she just randomly tosses around because she loves her s/o dearly and wants to express that love in so, so many ways!

O- On Cloud Nine: What is this character like when they’re in love? Is it obvious to others, or are they good at hiding it?

Baby 5 is a lovesick gal and it is so obvious to everyone and anyone. When Baby’s in love, her entire demeanor changes; she’ll be the happiest gal in the world, practically radiating positive energy like the sun! Her s/o will always come in the chatter- how great they are, how much she loves them, anything and everything she wants to gush about them! It can be a little overwhelming to those who can’t deal with her passionate personality, but she just can’t help it; she’s got too much love to contain! She’ll burst if she doesn’t tell the world!

P- PDA: Does this character like PDA? If so, what kinds of things do they do in public to show off their s/o?

PDA and Baby 5 go hand in hand… Pun intended. ;3 Baby loves to show the world her love, and so she constantly has to be showing some sort of affection to her s/o: holding hands, leaning her head on their shoulder, little kisses, clinging to their clothes. Baby 5 always keeps it tame, though. There are some things not meant for the public eye, and if her s/o gets a little spicy in public, she’ll definitely blush!

Q- Quirks: What random traits or quirks does this character have that positively affect the relationship?

Baby 5 is a very neat person. Part of this was fostered by her incessant need to be useful and clean around the Doflamingo household, but this habit has carried over into her love life. As such, her s/o never needs to stress about a messy home or things to do when they come home; Baby has it covered! This in turn ends up leaving with them a lot of time to spend time together, because things are always done in a timely and orderly manner! Baby never wants her s/o to have to worry about chores, so they can focus on spending time with each other when they can!

R- Romance: Is this character a hopeless romantic, or a bit on the low-key side? Are they cliché when it comes to romantic gestures, or can they get a little bit creative?

Of course Baby is a hopeless romantic! While she may get a little predictable with nicknames, our Baby 5 is real creative when coming up with her gestures for her s/o! She wants each one to be exciting and show just how much she loves them. From something as simple as giving them a flower she found to cooking a full-course meal for them to surprising them with romantic weekend getaways and everything in-between, Baby 5 never ceases to surprise her s/o.

S- Secrets: Are there any secrets they hide from their s/o? If so, how do they deal with it when those secrets finally come out?

As has been expressed, Baby 5 is an honest person with her s/o. If her s/o does not know of her past with the Doflamingo family and multiple (now deceased) fiancés, Baby is going to be forthcoming about it all, because she would hate for a kept secret to be the undoing of their relationship! She may tone down a few parts, because she would hate for her s/o to think of her of some horrible person, but she would never lie. After all, she wants to be loved more than anything, and wants that person to love her in her entirety, not some façade she presents.

T- Thrill: Does this character prefer routine in their relationship, or do they like to shake things up every once in a while?

Baby doesn’t mind falling into routine; there’s a lot of comfort in the ins and outs of just simple daily romantic life. However, if she begins to think her partner is growing bored with the way things are, Baby will for sure throw a wrench into the mix to shake things up a little! Suddenly going out to a new place or changing up how she does things to keep her partner happy and interested is definitely not a problem. As such, she will also respond positively to her s/o doing the same, because if her partner wants to shake things up, she wants to, too!

U- Understanding: Is this character level-headed and empathetic toward their partner, or do they sometimes have trouble figuring them out, which leads to some butting heads?

Baby 5 doesn’t like to rock the boat in her relationship, and she knows the key to happiness in a relationship is knowing her partner well. She’ll know her s/o more than they might know themselves! She’ll be so in tune with their habits, personality, quirks, and whatever else to make sure that hers align perfectly, tailoring the relationship to maximum harmony. Sometimes, though, her s/o will do things she just can’t predict or understand (normally in terms of her inability to say no or desperate need to please which undermines her identity). As previously discussed, this may lead to some discord here and there, but overall, Baby 5 knows what makes her partner tick.

V- Value: How does this character value their relationship with their s/o? How does it hold in comparison to their goals, ambitions, etc.?

A relationship is all Baby 5 ever wanted out of life, and to her, it’s the most important thing ever! Baby 5 cherishes her s/o and their bond, and any goal or need that she has is always secondary to her relationship. Sometimes this can grate her s/o if they want Baby 5 to have more of an identity, but that’s just how she is. Nothing can get in the way of her love!

W- Wild Card: Any random fluff headcanon that does not fall within the other categories!

Before she wants a child, Baby 5 wants a pet to share with her s/o! She knows that such things are very important steps in their relationship, and Baby 5 wants to make sure her s/o isn’t overwhelmed with the idea of caring for another human being when she broaches the topic to them. Baby 5 loves dogs,, their devotion and unconditional love, and would love to have one or two of them with her s/o! They would be perfect to guard their little children whenever the time comes, too!

X- XOXO: How does this character show affection?

Baby 5 is definitely in the camp of the “touch” and “acts of service” languages of love. When she’s not doing something for her s/o, taking their coat and asking about their day, cooking them dinner, catering to them if their ill, she’s all over them. Hand-holding, cuddles, massages, little kisses- Baby 5 just loves to show her affection in this way! She just wants her s/o to know how much she loves them and can only express it in such a manner.

Y- Yearning: How does this character deal with time apart with their s/o?

Baby hates being away from her s/o! She misses them dearly when they are apart. Oftentimes she seeks comfort from something her s/o owns, a jacket or a shirt or whatever she can get her hands on, because holding it makes her feel like they are there. She will definitely be more depressed than usual, and bringing up her s/o at all might make her tear up a little! Baby would never stop her s/o from leaving, though, if it was very important; she knows that being there, waiting for them to come home, is an important duty as well. She just gets so damn sad doing it.

Z- Zeal: Is this character willing to great lengths for their relationship? If so, how far, and how long does it take to get to this point?

As pointed out earlier, Baby 5 values the relationship very highly and of course would go to great lengths to preserve her relationship! If she caught wind that her s/o was in danger, she would charge in guns-a-blazin’ with zero hesitation at all! If a problem threatened to tear her and her s/o apart, she would do everything in her power to make it right. Baby 5, being the overzealous, loving woman she is, gets to this point almost a little too quickly, which can be overwhelming to a timid s/o’s. Baby just loves with every fiber of her being, strongly and wholly!

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#fluff alphabet #reward #buy me a coffee!#one piece #baby 5 #baby5 #doflamingo family #headcanons #request

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mikhaelkosanik · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 3 (google translate)

My office was located in the old part of the library. Many years ago this building was enough. Then Brumaltown was only restored after a wave of migration. But gradually the city grew, and a small house was not enough to store all the books. The authorities rebuilt a new public library in the city center, and dividing this into two parts, they gave it to private practices and the Grasse Foundation. While working, I occasionally saw Kathleen Grass, the youngest of Emma's children. She brought valuable documents to the archive and personally entered the materials into the file cabinet. Apart from her, no one could do this: Eliot and Emma died almost twenty years ago, and their eldest son Eugene was developing for the treatment of the virus. He was not up to the papers. As a result, Emma’s children shared responsibilities: the son was engaged in science, and the daughter in the fund of assistance and archives.

Kathleen was happy with everything: from childhood, she had seen what difficulties her mother had faced and what kind of ostracism she was subjected to. Science was not given to her either, and everyone noticed this: from parents who encouraged any undertakings of children, to teachers. And although the fund hired volunteers from time to time, they were not full-fledged assistants. Funding had severe restrictions: all donations went to meet the needs of patients and small salaries of those same volunteers. I knew this, because the Grasse Foundation collaborated with FVP and provided them with quarterly reports.

At first I was surprised that volunteers were paid money, but then I realized why: the fund worked not only in the states, but also around the world. His activities were equated with the Salvation Army or the Red Cross from the past. Because of this, few people went to such work, and there were always not enough hands. It was rumored that the fund even sometimes offered those works that were not directly related to risk as socially useful work. For example, all the same work in the archive. But recently, this has not helped.

The library was the best choice: it was hidden behind massive trees in the depths of the largest city park. Silence - and only rare visitors distracted from work, embarrassing applicants. Sometimes people came to me with such problems, which it’s a shame to admit even to ourselves, not like outsiders. Over the years, I have seen a lot. FVP did not like it, but everything tripled me. Without an eternal eye, working on your head was easier. And besides, part of the library was given to the archive, which also drove idle onlookers from this place, because they did not care about “some kind of documents there”.

When meeting, Kathleen gave me access, provided that I would check the operation of the equipment in the archive. She rarely came, busy with no less important matters, and it was extremely difficult to remotely check the archive. Looking for at least someone who will often visit this place, Miss Grasse asked for my help. The work is simple and easy - of course, I agreed.

Before, another employee worked with me, and we went upstairs one by one. But time passed, and Dale was promoted, moving to work in a private school for Eno. I was left alone among the books, dust and noise of the archive fans. This weighed, and at the same time saved: it was easier for me to experience my grief alone than in full view of others.

The caller came a little earlier and was waiting for me near the entrance. “This is good,” I said, recalling what other times there were clients.

More than once or twice, I came across those who called, begged for help, made an appointment, but never came. There were people who called three to four times, but found excuses not to visit a psychologist. So with all desire it was impossible to help.

“The costs of work,” I consoled myself, trying not to think about the bad. “I can't force them, after all!”

The current visitor nevertheless found the strength to come to the appointment, for which I was very grateful to him.

It turned out to be a tall, tight, though not complete, man in a strict business suit with a bright spot - a tie.

His stern facial expression with small wrinkles, barely noticeable on pale skin and cold evil eyes burned through me, hinting that the owner is not one of those people who blindly trust others.

“Eh, the consultation will be difficult,” I said immediately, hurrying up to the front door and standing next to the stranger.

The gestures of the applicant were smooth, but verified and very mean. I noticed this when the man turned to me. Like he was hiding something. This reminded me of the equilibrists in the circus - they just as carefully and smoothly moved, walking along a thin rope over the abyss gaping beneath them.

Approaching, I hastened to extend a hand to the expectant, noting the smell of cigars and "burnt" skin, mixed with subtle touches of cologne. My observation was confirmed: the stranger shook my hand tightly and gestured that it was worth continuing the conversation elsewhere.

Opening the door and minting a few steps on the bright tile, we went into the office near the entrance. Once there was a children's reading room. I really liked that from those times there were drawings on the walls and shelving with books. Many of them were written off, and I just took the books to myself, making excuses that I would read these tales to either my sister or my nephews.

We were greeted by a spacious room in blue and light yellow tones. I did not touch much, because it did not stop me from doing serious work. In addition, children's drawings and the situation itself sometimes said: for me there are no children's problems - there is a misunderstanding between children and adults.

When the visitor and I settled down in comfortable chairs left over from the past, he proceeded to the story.

“My name is Eric Coleman,” the man began, continuing to drill me with a heavy look from beneath his bright wide and straight eyebrows. - Your number was given at the hospital. It so happened that my daughter began to hurt herself.

- How long have you noticed this behavior? - the bright office tuned for a peaceful manner, and I hoped that I would be able to find out the details. I understood that, while working for the ZSC, I did not arouse the confidence of the newcomer, but still relied on his consciousness.

“Just yesterday,” Eric spoke calmly, his pose not expressing excitement, but I understood that this was not entirely true.

The one sitting opposite me seemed a strong-willed, decisive person, maybe even tough and straightforward. It shone through in his precise and dry manner of speech, in the article and direct posture. And although the man was large, which only added severity to his mind, he spoke surprisingly emotionless and calm. It’s just dry, as if stating the facts from some encyclopedia.

How many people will immediately tell a stranger, albeit very famous in narrow circles, that his child hurts himself and, perhaps, is trying to commit suicide? I also did not know such. Sometimes I spent a good half of the session on a banal clarification of the situation and its circumstances ... if not the entire session.

“Don't think, my daughter doesn't want to die,” Mr. Coleman remarked, guessing what I was thinking. - She inflicts wounds horizontally. If these were suicide attempts, she would inflict them differently.

- Selfharm? I asked. “Are you sure about that?”

“Most likely,” Eric answered my question. “I saw the veins being cut,” the man ran a finger along the sleeve, showing a vertical section.

Here I was already thinking: I had many patients who tried to commit suicide. Often, adoptive parents did not even know about the depression of their children, turning after one or two unsuccessful suicide attempts. I was definitely not the kind of person who should prove the lack of such a motive in behavior. I had a selfie in my practice, but for a long time. And he was connected with completely different circumstances.

Eric immediately made a reservation that this is not the case. But perhaps he simply did not know all the circumstances?

Maybe his daughter did not know how to inflict wounds in order to die? Or maybe she did it to check if she could bear the pain or not. A case came to mind: a boy inflicted wounds long enough to prepare for pain. But, without talking to the child himself, I could not draw any conclusions. Maybe a man is really right and the wounds are just self-harm, not talking about the desire to die? True, the latest version cannot be completely discounted. Statistics inexorably told me that even ordinary self-harm could ultimately lead to suicide attempts.

“You said you were a pink family?” - I remembered the detail of yesterday’s dialogue. It was awkward to be silent for a long time, considering options that might actually not exist at all.

I knew very well that “pink” families are called families where one of the spouses belonged to the eno. Officially, enos were considered hermaphrodites, which was indirectly confirmed by the structure of the genital organs. But only indirectly. Not all enos were born like that. In addition, a biological evaluation took place at birth. Therefore, the Garth test was created. It consisted of two parts: a biological assessment, which is given to all children at birth, and a psychological assessment, passed at eight and fifteen years. Often I saw very young children who did not even pass special tests, with a marker of the third sex - a pink choker on their neck. Why they put on this attribute so early was a mystery to me. Only the Garth test finally put an end to the question of the gender of the child. More precisely, even a fifteen-year-old teenager. This is the official age when every third-sex citizen received documents with a special note.

Over the years, I have seen a wide variety of enos, from gentle and sweet, when looking at which it is impossible to believe that they are biological men, to completely brutal and strong. After all, biology remained biology, and the psyche does not always affect the appearance as we would like. Within the norm, at least.

The formation of the “pink” marriage took place even if not before my eyes, but I found the forerunners of the current liberalization. And I'm ready to put my hand on the Bible, swearing that now everything is more or less good!

When the first outbreak of the virus broke out in 2034, almost every government threw itself into creating a cure. These attempts to cure the Mehoni virus led to the discovery of the Encantant. It began to be used after the first clinical tests on cell cultures. There was no time for more serious research.

A side effect of the drug and became irreversible changes in the psyche of some men. For a long time, it was believed that “Encantant” was a kind of chemical lobotomy that changes gender awareness and disables sexuality. That is how eno appeared.

The institute of the “pink” marriage and the “pink” family took shape finally not so long ago, about 60 years ago. A crisis in the economy, a crisis in politics, a lack of resources, a lack of women - all contributed to the forerunners of the “pink” marriage. Even the church did not condemn this, with the proviso that the guys do not sleep with each other. In addition, in those years there was a definite base, both cultural and scientific, allowing for relations between people of the "same" gender.

Healthy girls then massively campaigned to give birth to children. They tried to ban abortion, legally require the birth of children under a certain age. But all this was before the war. After that, another misfortune appeared - the reduction of the population. Almost all governments quickly realized that, if they continue to restrict women, the economic crisis will lead to the collapse of the remnants of the past, and the reduction in DBV will completely destroy the economy, returning the world to the agrarian-feudal system.

During the years of devastation, the third sex did not bother anyone, and the problems of eno remained in the shade for some time. Everyone tried to restore what was left of the once great country, split in two. Moreover, the migration of survivors from dead lands has become a huge problem - both for the states and for the S.I.C. Amid a similar problem, the enos seemed inconsequential and were ignored. As, in fact, what is happening in the shelters of St. Elena for patients with the virus. No, shelters appeared long before the first bombs fell on the world. That's just not easier from this. And then, after the story of Emma Grass, society had to put up with the fact that there are patients with a virus dangerous to humans and they also have their own rights. Because of this, the institution of the “pink” family was created. This is the price that the vast majority of countries were willing to pay for the peace of their citizens. At least that's what I knew. After all, sick children and women had to be put somewhere.

In addition to the third sex, who married a man, there were female “pink” families, where both partners had a virus note in their documents. But there were very few of them, and in my practice I did not happen to meet them. Eno alliances with women were not considered “pink” because of biology. Moreover, such marriages steadily made up for the shortage of the third sex, because Enos could only give birth to their own kind.

I doubt that female "pink" couples formed a relationship from a good life. More likely because of ostracism and loneliness. There was no question of love.

I already had a certain practice in working with “pinks”. It was necessary to work in such families not only with children due to a number of legislative aspects, but also the characteristics of the enos themselves. Almost all eno, both according to my data and statistics, had a soft psyche, a compliant character and a very strong parental instinct. Often they were brought up very strictly and in places harshly. The first years of the FVP required the education of eno children in closed schools. Due to the artificiality of the third sex, after coming of age, graduates of closed schools were transferred to the jurisdiction of the SSC. Then eno accounting was very tough, they were considered as a resource, and I even found those times ... Well, yes, there were enough problems in society, the economy was rising from its knees, and we had to look for ways of least resistance.

At that time, “pink” marriages were most often the second for male widowers, and eno spouses were considered by them as an option for a free nanny for children and a housemaid. A kind of bonus for good service to the homeland. After all, someone should lead a life, take care of children, especially after overpopulation has begun. Because of it, the number of officially permitted marriages was limited. These almost had nothing to do with love or sex. No one was embarrassed by the consumer attitude towards eno. Yes, and they themselves put up with this, just to survive: almost all the knowledge of the third sex was reduced to housekeeping and caring for children. Just 25 years ago, everything was just that. In those days, the “pink” couples tried not to advertise the relationship after the wedding. Yes, and the WCC did not strongly advocate the openness of these families. Well, yes, they once engaged in the selection of couples for eno: it is unprofitable to advertise problems in such families. So there was a cult of silence.

It might seem that no other options existed, but this is not entirely true. There were parents who wished their children happiness regardless of gender. Yes, society imposed severe restrictions on the behavior of eno, on their ability to learn, live and work independently. But loopholes were even then. My couple, for example. He received a very good education and after college got a job as a teacher. For those years, it was just “unheard-of arrogance” on the part of Eno.

Today, in 2133, everything was different, although the sediment from those troubled times was still felt. Almost every show or program said that “pink” families are one of the pillars of society. From screens, posters and newspaper pages, Protection of family values seemed to shout out its slogan: “A strong family is the key to a happy future!” First of all, this concerned precisely the “pink” families and eno spouses. And it is not surprising that such families turned to me in the most difficult and neglected cases ...

According to my information, officially in Brumaltown there was only one “pink” family, which did not want to make contact. The same girls who were infected with the Mehoni virus. This created additional problems. Most likely, you will have to work not only with the girl, but also with one of her parents.

“Yes,” the interlocutor answered, a little confused. Bitterness froze in his eyes. Then the amber flame flashed, and Eric added:

“But,” having paused, “we are not quite so.”

It was very important. Of course, I probably could not know what was meant, but certain assumptions nevertheless appeared.

With the onset of the liberalization period, a sufficiently large percentage of enos did not want to formalize any kind of relationship. Yes, and to join them, too, did not dare. It was easier for them to live apart than to follow the stringent requirements of society. My former colleague Dale, who worked directly in the educational center, also complained about it, and the top of the FVP expressed their complaints about this - this was regularly reported in the news. If we count the number of eno, then we get quite decent numbers of single citizens: approximately every fifth state citizen and every twelfth citizen of S.I.C were alone. For other countries, I did not have statistics and could only refer to these summaries.

As a result, the Defense even had to make concessions and allow lonely eno adoption if they met the requirements of agencies. To be more precise, the latter, it seems, was influenced by the Grasse Foundation, which could not endlessly sponsor orphanages and orphanages, where, in one way or another, children with the Mekhoni virus got into.

I involuntarily breathed a sigh of relief: I will have to be very careful both in communicating with the Coleman family and with the Family Values Protection authorities, which, upon completion of work, I will add this case to my report. I couldn’t conceal customer data. No ethics could cover this!

“Good,” I finally remarked, scrolling through the foregoing in my mind, “come with your whole family.” I’ll try to find out the reason for your situation. Eric thanked me and left the office without saying another word. After his visit, I involuntarily recalled what I had been trying to escape from for thirty years. Alas, I knew firsthand what the “pink” family is.

***

The next day, the Coleman failed to arrive. Eric called and dryly warned me that due to busyness, the meeting would have to be rescheduled. I agreed. In terms of speech, it looked like the first time Eric’s husband had called me. Understanding the state of the Colemans, I was very afraid of meeting with members of this family.

During the weekly break, I thought for a long time whether to take a new family or not. “Pink” families had their own specifics, because of which working with them was extremely costly in terms of resources. I was not sure that my reserves in this case could be enough. Neurotization in such pairs always exceeded the average, and it was simply not always possible to reduce it. And without it, the whole workflow would turn into hell. In addition, I myself once had a “pink” pair, because of which I could somehow project my experiences onto strangers, which could also affect my work. And the worst thing was that if I took on this case, I would have to lie to the Protection of family values. It would affect me too. After all, I worked for this organization.

I was persuaded by Eunice to tackle this, always getting in where I didn’t need and loving to put her two cents in any of my business. True, it was she who said that only I can understand such a family and help, having a certain experience behind me.

“You understand that someone else will calmly report about them to FVP?” Or somewhere else! Can you imagine what it feels like? - the last argument of the sister was a shot at the bull's-eye.

She knew that I could not talk about something if they did not directly ask me, even though I myself worked for the Defense of Family Values. Therefore, “pink” families turned to me in the hope that I would not say too much. At least that was before.

"Okay. If I can’t help, I’ll try to find another specialist who can be trusted, ”I reassured myself, as I did in situations with missing clients.

Eric did not deceive and really came on the day off with his family. That day, the door of my office swung open, loudly and unpleasantly banging against the wall. For the first time they burst into me like this, and I was even taken aback by such things, having remained standing by the table.

A guy of a dry physique flew into the office in a whirlwind. Dressed in a crumpled T-shirt, well-worn trousers and a battered leather jacket, the guest reminded me of a huge stray dog from distant childhood: the same one, beaten by the life of a rogue.

The guy’s eyes smiled, as if to spite the whole world, sparkling with excitement. It reminded me even more of our shaggy friend with Eunice. He also brazenly smiled at his mouth, wagging his tail and edible bulls at the guys in the neighborhood. And only by the small gray lock in the visitor's long tousled hair did I realize that the stranger had long been not a teenager or even a youth.

Rushing across the entire hall, he flew up to me and, holding out his hand, he rumbled:

- Hi. Are you dock?

I did not want to respond to such familiarity. I was just about to speak out, looking around at the sloven, as Eric entered behind him in a heavy, measured gait. Behind him peered apprehensively a little girl in a closed dress and with an elegant scarlet bow on her head.

“You ...?” I asked in surprise.

- Adrian Coleman. I called you, - still holding out his hand, laughed "rogue." “This is my ...”, hesitating and less confident, “my husband, Eric.”

Then, pointing to the still hiding girl, he said: “And this is our daughter Rina.” The girl only embarrassedly smiled and waved my hand, hiding again behind the adult. She seemed against the background of high enough strong parents quite tiny and reminded me of a beast of galago. Especially with large purple eyes, a small nose and a bow, one to one like huge triangular ears.

“Good afternoon,” Eric greeted dryly again, sitting down in a chair and showing with a gesture that his partner should do the same.

Adrian sighed theatrically, but still sat next to his spouse. Rina initially also sat next to her parents, but soon she became interested in the environment. We started a conversation, during which at first Adrian spoke more, chattering about all sorts of nonsense and nonsense. In contrast, it looked comical: a groovy jerk with smiling eyes to the whole world, like a dog’s eyes, and a gloomy phlegmatic man, boring others with a stern look. That's for sure - opposites attract.

And I realized what Eric meant by saying that they are unofficially a “pink” family. Colemans simply did not formalize the relationship! It’s good that I didn’t start the report. Now I was free to write in it about the conversion of a single father. Then I thanked the Lord that there was still a code of ethics for the psychologist and I could refer to it if someone tried to find something in my documents. And reports often turned out to be simple formalities for archives. Therefore, I breathed a sigh of relief: I did not want to set up my clients at all.

Coleman's daughter, Rina, turned out to be a silent, slightly aloof girl. She really looked depressed and painful: she covered her face with hair, hid her eyes, even if only for the first time. When parents talked about themselves, Rina separated from us adults, sitting back on the floor and hugging her knees. Talking with the Coleman, I remembered Eric's first visit. The man seemed a stern, domineering man with a heavy look. Straight and cold. This impression was complemented by the manner of speech, not a bit changed in the presence of the family, and the same strict, even prim style in clothes, and even dry, verified gestures, in which almost no emotions slipped.

The only thing that stood out against this background was a hairstyle similar to a yellow dandelion, and a more or less bright tie (albeit combined with the main suit). It seemed that Eric was a stern, imperious tyrant, accustomed to keeping both his partner and daughter under control. But I was wrong. All three spoke very openly and warmly, which was also evidenced by the fact that Adrian was chattering non-stop, and Rina, seeing a bookcase with books, asked me for permission and went to look for something interesting for herself. None of the fathers limited her to this. He didn’t even say a word. When the girl got up, I noted that her walk was a little uneven. This was not evident, but the girl limped on her left leg. “Leg injury?” I thought. “Athlete?”

The men themselves, though a little nervous, tried to be as honest as possible with themselves and me. And although only Adrian spoke, and Eric was silent, I saw that the men were in solidarity with each other. In the circumstances, lying did not make any sense. The mental state of the child depended on my work and both parents understood this.

Not finding anything interesting among the books, the girl painted the whole meeting something in her album. Adrian said that she often draws various sketches and gives to her friends. This hobby replaced another, and both fathers were glad that their child had found a new interesting activity for themselves.

“It was very difficult for us to find something like this,” Adrian smiled awkwardly with his hand behind his head. - Rin, almost no one wanted to take in circles and sections.

“She does not look like a conflict person,” I thought again, casting a cursory glance at the girl immersed in the drawing. “Asperger Syndrome?”

After a short presentation, we talked about their problem and a little more on abstract topics. I made sure that all three of those who came relaxed and realized that I could be trusted. The whole conversation, as I noted, rested on Adrian. He enthusiastically talked about his hobbies, his daughter and Erica, noting any trifle. He was probably nervous because I was connected with the FVP, and thus tried to cope with the jitters. At first, I could not understand which of the parents in this pair is Eno. No one had a hoop on his neck, appearance, too, as I said earlier, was not always an indicator. But still, I noticed that Adrian’s behavior is a little more characteristic of Eno than his husband’s behavior. In any case, it was he who spoke more often about Rina and with great warmth.

As the atmosphere in my office became more laid-back, I suggested the Coleman play a little. First I needed to establish the level of aggression of all family members. Aggression is not always directed outward, and I, as a psychologist, understood this very well. It can also be directed inward, in other words, towards itself. This is exactly what happened with Rina. Cuts could be a sign of auto-aggression. I wanted to understand if this is true. For identification, the Wagner test was useful to me. However, I immediately stipulated the principle: everyone takes a piece of paper and writes his answer in this charade. And then he hands it to me. In fact, this test is not carried out, but I was not sure that I would meet all the family members again. I needed to understand: could Rina adopt the level of aggression from one of the parents, was this level high or not.

Eric just rolled his eyes, Adrian nodded, and Rina folded her hands and put them to her cheek, like children do during sleep. I regarded gestures with signs of consent. He began to show one hand drawings in different poses one by one, asking the same question: “What does this hand do?” This was the test. Looking at images of hands in various poses, patients talked about their personal associations, albeit subconscious. They kind of projected their emotions onto drawings with hands. The drawings themselves depicted only hands in one or another pose, without any context or background. Nothing complicated. Simple work of associations. But only in this case the test took a lot of time.

I showed one card and waited until everyone wrote something on my sheet. A couple of times I saw Adrian peeking at Eric or Rina's sheet and indignantly resented that this answer was incorrect. Well, the answer itself was not voiced, limiting itself to exclamations: “Nonsense!”, “But she doesn’t do that!” Now I understand why Rina left the fathers a little distance. Another test I offered was for her. As if in jest.

“Rina, you're an artist,” I remarked. - There is such a test, Lusher test. Do you know him?

The girl shook her head.

“Choose the colors you like best right now,” I laid out a few cards on the floor. - You can choose them yourself and put them in order from the most attractive to the least. Just choose them precisely according to the “like” principle, and not according to the principles of combination, tradition and other things. Good?"

Rina nodded and enthusiastically began to choose the colors she liked.

This test took very little time. A minute later, in front of me was a table of the following order of colors: blue-green, black, brown, dark blue, violet, red and orange. It turned out that on the one hand, Rina was a very confident girl, but on the other, her aggression most likely had an internal motive. This was evidenced by the dark colors that followed the first blue-green. Another tick in the direction of depression.

Due to the speed of choice, I had no doubt that it was made exactly as I requested, without any association with fashion or any traditions. The only thing, I still had a little doubt about the black color. Rina herself was dressed in a black dress with white ruffles. But I still decided to accept these results. Nobody bothers me then to conduct this test again as a control check.

After the charade, I invited the Coleman to tell the story of their family. It would be nice to get an anamnesis, because I could not rule out a single variant of the occurrence of such a state of my young patient. At that moment, Rina looked at her fathers and pointed to her album. She did not utter ten phrases for the whole meeting, plunging into her drawings.

“Exactly,” cried Adrian, “forgot!” You have a lesson in the studio today! Sorry, petty! ” Rina shook her head - they say it’s fearless to be a little late - and, taking her father's hand, she went to the door.

- I trust Eric! He is our family's walking encyclopedia! Will tell you everything! - shouted Adrian, hiding from sight.

“As always ...” Eric sighed, sitting comfortably in his chair. - He likes to shift concerns to me.

“And in my opinion, he trusts you very much,” I remarked, sitting opposite my interlocutor. - Can you tell how Rina appeared in your life? It will be very important for me now to know how your daughter grew up. Perhaps the reasons for her behavior are in some event from the past.

Another sigh - and my interlocutor was immersed in the memories of almost thirteen years ago.

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newmoneytrash · 5 years ago

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Death Stranding

I had to write about Death Stranding to get this not very good game out of my head and soul

(this has spoilers I guess but honestly who cares)

I was going to wait to play Death Stranding, if I ever even played it at all. I had barely seen any trailers outside of the first couple. I remember seeing them and thinking “this isn’t going to be the crazy, weird experience everyone thinks it’s going to be”. I didn’t think that I knew better than anyone else, or that the people who were excited were stupid to feel that way. I just felt like I could see what it was and knew that, having played the majority of Kojima’s work, that this probably wasn’t going to be the experience that people thought it was going to be.

And I was comfortable with my disinterest, content to know that this thing existed, that I was fine with it existing away from me. But then a week before release when the review embargo lifted and people started posting their impressions and experiences and reviews my interest was piqued in a way that no trailer or announcement had interested me before. It wasn’t the glowing and fawning reviews that drew me to the game, the people who played and loved the game. It was, weirdly, the negative ones that changed me from not having any interest in playing Death Stranding to going to the store on the Friday morning it was released and standing in the rain waiting too long for an Uber so I could get home as fast as possible to start playing.

The reason the negative reviews drew me to the game so much is not because they were negative, it’s not that I was taking some joy in getting to play something that I thought was going to be bad and now I had an opportunity to be vindicated by seeing for myself that it is bad. It was the things that they were negative about that sounded so interesting. The idea that a group of people would spend so much time and effort and money in creating a large premier video game experience where the main crux seemed to be tedium is an inherently fascinating concept.

The kind of elevator pitch descriptor that interested me the most (that was used by people both derisively and positively) was that it was a post-apocalyptic truck simulator. Travelling a dead or dying world as a UPS driver. Mad Max meets King of Queens (that’s a comparison that I made and I’m too proud of it not to use it). What if a development team who made one of the great action games on the last decade (Metal Gear Solid V might be a terribly lacking narrative experience with some frustrating mission design, but the core gameplay is extremely good) and funnelled all of that energy into something intentionally boring and monotonous?

Not only did that help reset my expectations of what this would be, it made me feel excitement for something that I had previously thought I wouldn’t be able to feel excitement or anticipation for.

I spent 40 hours with it over the course of a week. That might not sound like a lot of time in video game speak, but I don’t remember the last time I spent that much time with a game over such a short period of time. Over the first weekend I had it I played for just over 20 hours. Twenty hours. I don’t know if I’ve ever been that focused on a game in my life. But still when I reflect on my time with it, and especially when I try to recall those initial 20 hours which were far and away the most fun I had with the game, I feel nothing. It’s like static, like someone has gone back and just erased that time from my memory.

That’s maybe not entirely fair. I remember general things, just not specific gameplay moments.

I remember the gameplay loop. It’s less a truck simulator game and more of a hiking game, at least initially. And this was appealing to me. You’re slowly traversing across these barren, empty environments delivering packages to and from outposts and shelters. You’re packing a huge amount of garbage on your back and climbing up mountains and down cliffs and wading through rivers. You’re given ropes and ladders to try and ease your journey, and later you’re able to build greater structures like bridges and towers to help you more easily navigate the environment and scout your path ahead. Eventually you’re given access to motorbikes and trucks that can both help and hinder your deliveries, depending on the paths you take and forge. You even get a chance to help rebuild an actual honest to goodness highway, creating it piece by piece by providing an increasing amount of materials to each section. Maybe the greatest accomplishment I felt playing this game was spending a few hours creating large sections of the highway and then getting to just fly down it on a motorbike. It really did feel like I hate created something big, that I not only radically changed the world by creating this, but that I had bettered it.

And there’s there community aspect of the game. Having others donate materials to your structures as well as seeing structures others have built and abandoned vehicles and packages in your world is all really neat and interesting. Everything positive I have to say about this game is wrapped up in these systems, because there is a lot of the game that feels like you’re on a genuine journey. Taking a package over the peak of a snow capped mountain for the first time can feel like a legitimate achievement, it was rewarding just walking from one place to the next. Seeing a bridge helpfully placed in a frustrating location made me feel real gratitude toward that person, and receiving feedback that other people were using and liking things that I had built made me feel good, as if I was paying forward the help that I had received.

For a long time I didn’t even think there would be combat in the game but it gradually increases as you go along and, while it’s never good, it’s still serviceable and easy enough to never really get in the way. The shooting and melee combat feels off, and I might have had a better time if it wasn’t there at all, but a few boss encounters and combat vignettes were interesting and would occasionally help when the monotony of just delivering packages started to grow.

But after 20 hours of this nothing really stood out to me, there’s no one gameplay moment that will stay with me. I won’t reflect on this game and think “wow, remember that one journey I took by following the coastline?” It’s all just a long, sustained blur.

And it’s not that I don’t remember the story or the characters either. Those are all easy to recall. The story is especially easy to recall because, over 40 hours, it’s just basically telling you one thing over and over and over. It’s hard not to recall it, because there is only one thing to recall.

The thing that I was worried about before the game came out was that the story was just going to be a huge mess. Kojima’s games are always functionally good to great, that’s never really been an issue I’ve had with his work, it’s always been the stories he tries to tell and how he tries to tell them. From the first Metal Gear Solid through to The Phantom Pain there are always misgivings I’ve had with character representation, general themes, and just the delivery of that narrative. I know this isn’t a unique position to have regarding his work (sexism and his consistently awful portrayal of women is a pretty famous issue he has, even among his biggest fans), but beyond that I just never felt that anything he was doing was particularly special. They were different and almost always interesting, but a lot of people would like to tell you that Kojima was doing masterful video game storytelling that no one else was capable, that he was single-handedly raising the medium of video games to something as artistically valid and viable as cinema or art. But, to me, he was never doing that. He was making fun and compelling video games, but they were inconsistent and messy and overly verbose and self-righteous.

So my concern was that, now that he was the head of an independent studio that for all intents and purposes answered to no one, he would let that his storytelling get further away from him. In an attempt to prove his level of creativity, maybe to even prove his worth, he was going to put all of his ideas on the table and the result was going to be an indecipherable mess. When they would release a trailer of a naked Norman Reedus on a beach holding a baby attached to him with an artificial umbilical cord, or Guillermo Del Toro standing in a sewer holding a baby in a jar while Mads Mikkelsen is covered in black tar leading a bunch of skeleton soldiers a lot of people responding with a variant of “wow Kojima is going to make something crazy, this is going to blow my mind”. But all I saw was a giant red flag.

So when I finally experienced the story of Death Stranding I was kind of taken aback. Not by how crazy or nonsensical it is, but by kind of how… boring and one note it is? There isn’t really any room for interpretation in this story. It’s all very, very literal. It tells you how and why things are happening, and if you missed the exposition the first time don’t worry! Here is another twenty minute info dump reiterating the same boring, one note narrative over and over.

The game just tricks you into thinking it’s being more creative than it is because it’s filled with endless jargon. There is timefall, void outs, BTs, BBs, Beaches, repatriates, chiral energy, and extinction entities. Ha and ka. But it’s all in service of creating a world and a narrative that ultimately says nothing, and spends dozens of hours painfully and slowly telling you nothing. It’s borderline torturous.

There is also some high school art level social commentary on social media. Likes are a huge commodity in this world, with people becoming addicted to the feeling you get when they receive one. And instead of having a smart phone or whatever you have Cuff Links, which is a literal pair of handcuffs that, when strapped to your wrist, functions as a way to communicate with people through the Codec or email. Because our phones are a prison, right guys? Pretty deep. In Kojima’s world we truly do live in a society.

But it’s not just the small stuff like that that’s so literal, every part of the game is literal. You’re Sam Porter Bridges, a porter who has a contract with the organisations Bridges, created by someone named Bridget, to create bridges with people across America (both figuratively and literally) to create a network across the continent that will bridge everyone together. Every metaphor and theme in the game is so painfully literal that the game never gives you the opportunity to interpret anything else. The only time there are moments in the game when you don’t know what is happening is when characters start talking about things that you could have no way of knowing about as if you did know about them, but even then these moments of mystery are immediately undone because they always immediately explain the thing that you missed. You will have a cryptic conversation with someone about something you have had no opportunity to deduce or discover on your own, but it never matters because it’s followed up a few minutes later with a flashback or exposition that lays everything out on the table.

Instead of Kojima creating something nonsensical and imaginative and impossible to follow, he managed to make the world’s most shallow metaphor about really nothing in particular. When he said that the game was inspired by Donald Trump and Brexit he meant that it was inspired by the division that these things caused between people and how we need to create Bridges to reconnect with people.

That’s it, that’s the game. That is its message. And it’s not interestingly presented, there’s nothing more to it than that.

One of the podcast conversations I listened to before released (that was largely critical of the game) that drew me toward playing it ended with one of the people saying “It is a game that I think everyone should experience, but not one that I could ever recommend” which is a perfect way of articulating how I feel. It’s a unique experience that does things that a game of its size has never really done before. I don’t think there’s merit in being different for differences’ sake, but this isn’t that. The gameplay is considered and deliberate and purposeful, but that doesn’t mean that it’s fun and it doesn’t negate the parts that are tedious and tiring. Just because you make something boring and annoying on purpose that doesn’t make it good.

If you had asked me six months ago if I think I would like Death Stranding I would have said no. I probably would have qualified it by saying I hope that I was wrong, that I would like it to be good, but that I was probably more likely to hate it.

I didn’t love it, and I don’t like it. I don’t even hate it, but in a weird way I wish that I could. Because then at least I would feel something toward it. Instead Death Stranding leaves me feeling something much, much worse.

It makes me feel nothing.

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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646.

How are you doing today? >> Could be better, could be worse. I’m still a bit depressed but I’m hoping it’ll even out. The Inworlders have been very helpful.

What was the best thing that happened to you today? >> Er... I mean, nothing. Nothing much has happened at all.

Which cell phone network are you on? >> Boost Mobile.

Do you like the smell of cinnamon? >> Sure.

What was the last book you've read? >> The last book I finished was a reread of PZB’s Lost Souls. I’m working on Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood right now.

Are you hungry right now? >> No.

What was the last thing you've had to drink? >> Water.

How often do you visit this website? >> This website? Daily. Bzoink? Whenever I need a new survey to take (not that I always find one, mind you. Bzoink is very hit or miss with a marked emphasis on “miss”.)

Do you like frogs? >> I mean... not particularly? They’re cool sometimes, I guess. Mostly they’re just... there.

Are you afraid of dying? >> Sometimes.

Do you like bananas? >> I hate bananas.

Name a movie that you hate. >> I didn’t like Meet the Spartans. That whole genre of movie should have stopped at Scary Movie.

Do you like the show American Dad? >> No. Maybe I just don’t get it.

What TV show do you miss the most that's no longer on TV? >> Galavant.

Are you currently fighting with someone right now? >> No.

Is your life full of drama? >> It really isn’t.

How long can you hold your breath underwater >> I don’t know.

Where's the last place you've been to out of state? >> Houston, Texas.

Have you ever been kissed in the rain? >> Probably.

What letter does your last name start with. >> D.

What are you listening to right now? >> Nothing.

Have you ever had a pet that died? >> Wasn’t my pet, per se. Vlad had a cat die whlie I was living there, and Sparrow’s cat died this past October.

Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? >> Depends on what I’m doing. For just using the internet or whatever my trackpad works fine, but when I’m gaming I obviously need a mouse.

Do you consider yourself politically intelligent? >> No.

Have you ever done any volunteer work? >> No.

Do you like the Beatles? >> No.

Is it night time where you're at right now? >> No, it’s early afternoon.

Do you like steak? >> No.

Do you eat healthy? >> I just eat, man. Whatever.

How often do you work out? >> I don’t.

What was the best gift you've ever received? >> *shrug*

Have you ever participated in a spelling bee? >> Yeah. When I was in fourth grade, I won the spelling bee in my school, so I was supposed to go on to regionals -- but apparently, fourth-graders were too young to go to regionals. I was the first fourth-grader to win in the school bee’s history so they’d never had to deal with that. My father raised a big stink about it because he said that if fourth-graders aren’t eligible for regionals, they shouldn’t have been allowed to participate in the school bee in the first place. Somehow this conflict was so interesting to people (or my father’s just such an adept big-stink-raiser, which is most likely) that it ended up in the newspaper and on the evening news. ...And no, I personally did not fucking care either way. This was just one more example of adults placing undue importance on something that did not matter to me and never would matter in the grand scheme of my life, and just shoving me into a spotlight regardless of my feelings. Also, fuck spelling bees as a concept anyway.

If you could have one wish right now, what would it be? >> ---

Do you owe anyone an apology right now? >> No.

Are you the jealous type of person? >> No.

Have you ever tried doing yoga? >> Yeah. It doesn’t quite agree with me, unless I’m just doing the wrong kind or something.

Do you like getting massages? >> Me? The person who hates being touched? Hmm...

Would you rather be too hot or too cold? >> I’d just rather not be in any kind of extreme weather condition, thanks.

Are you good at telling jokes? >> No.

When was the last time you've attended a sleepover? >> ---

Tell me one of your pet peeves. >> I’d rather not.

Do you wear glasses? >> No.

Do you like to keep your nails painted? >> No.

Have you ever had a pedicure? >> Probably, a long time ago.

What is your favorite smell? >> ---

Do you like the TV show Full House? >> Never watched it, not interested.

Would you rather listen to country music or rap music? >> I like both, so.

Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? >> No.

Have you graduated high school yet? >> Yeah.

What kind of person were you in middle school? >> I don’t know. Probably a socially maladjusted one doing its best.

Do you have any major regrets in your life? >> Meh.

Have you ever thought about running away? >> Yeah.

Do you like pixie sticks? >> Not so much anymore. But there’s still some kind of fun novelty about them, despite the fact that I don’t really want to pour pure sugar down my gullet.

Do you like French toast? >> I like it a certain way.

Are you a fast typer? >> Yes.

Are you good at doing math in your head? >> Some math.

Have you ever played with Silly Putty? >> Not to my recollection, but maybe.

Do you take in a lot of caffeine daily? >> No. Caffeine fucks with me too much.

Do you like watching Football? >> No.

What language do you wish you could speak? >> ---

Do you know a lot about history? >> Not a lot, no.

If we could travel back in time, where would you travel to? >> ---

Would you ever consider joining the military? >> I would literally rather die.

Do you think women should be allowed to have abortions? >> Yes.

Are you a cigarette smoker? >> Not usually.

Have you ever done something you didn't want to just to look cool? >> No.

Do you like zombie movies? >> Not usually. Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland were fun, though.

Have you seen The Hunger Games? >> No, but I’ve read them. I don’t like the casting choices in the movies so I don’t know if I’ll bother watching them.

Do you have a favorite piece of clothing? >> No.

Do you own any Uggs? >> No.

Are you wearing any rings on your fingers? >> Not right now.

Name a TV show that you absolutely can't stand. >> Meh.

Do you have any unusual talents? >> I don’t have any talents, usual or otherwise.

Do you look like your age? >> I don’t know what the fuck I look like age-wise and I don’t care.

Do you feel confident in a bathing suit? >> No, I don’t like bathing suits at all.

Do you do a lot of online shopping? >> Not a lot.

Do you like the Harry Potter films? >> Some of them.

Do you judge people based on their sexual orientation? >> No.

Have you ever been told you had an accent? >> I mean, probably.

Have you ever ridden an elephant? >> No.

Are you allergic to pollen? >> No.

Have you ever eaten sushi? If so, do you like it? >> Yes, and I like it fine.

Are you a fan of anime? >> Sure. Not every single one in existence, obviously, but there are plenty I enjoy.

Would you rather play Xbox or Playstation? >> PlayStation seems to have more games I like. But I actually prefer PC gaming.

Are you a big fan of seafood? >> Yes.

What kind of food are you craving right now? >> None, I’m not hungry.

Are you currently in a relationship? If not, are you happy being single? >> I am in relationships.

Do you depend on others for happiness? >> Obviously. People made the video games I play, after all. Just as an example. Also, since I’m not a complete hermit, obviously I keep company with other people for some reason...

Do you like to go fishing? >> Never been, probably wouldn’t care for it. Even video-game fishing is the worst.

Are you a fast runner? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever worked at a fast food place? >> No.

What's on your mind right now? >> The answers I’m giving to these questions.

Are you texting anyone as you're taking this survey? >> No.

Have you ever had a nasty rumor spread about you? >> Probably.

Have you ever sent someone sexual pictures of yourself? >> No.

Do you like who you are on the inside or the outside more? >> ...

Are you good at drawing? >> No.

Do you know how to dance? >> I don’t dance as a matter of skill, I dance as a matter of enjoyment.

What's your favorite reality TV show? >> ---

Do you think Kim Kardashian deserves to be famous? >> I literally do not care.

Are you excited for Christmas this year? >> It’s January, I’m not thinking about Christmas.

Do you celebrate Halloween? >> Not really. What would I even do? Most of the time we just help pass out candy at the Wayland house and that’s good enough for me tbh.

Have you ever had a concussion? >> No.

Do you pretend to be someone you're not? >> No.

Do you listen to heavy metal music? >> Yeah.

Were you sad when Michael Jackson died? >> No.

Do you have more upper or lower body strength? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? >> No.

Do you like hot tubs? >> No. The only time I got into a hot tub I thought I was going to pass out and die. That is definitely not for me.

Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? >> No.

Have you ever donated money to a charity? >> No.

Do you get bored easily? >> Sometimes.

Have you ever peed your pants in public? >> Yeah.

Are you afraid of roller coasters? >> No.

Are you good at doing tongue twisters? >> I don’t know, moderately?

What was the last movie you've seen in theatres? >> Jojo Rabbit.

Have you ever been to a drive-in movie? >> No.

Are you good at doing fractions? >> Probably not. Luckily, I don’t usually have to do them.

What is your favorite holiday? >> Christmas.

Do you prefer Apple or Android? >> Android.

Would you rather have a tablet or a computer? >> A computer. I like having a full keyboard and more robust hardware.

Do you like things that are touch screen? >> Not really, but they can be convenient.

What age did you have your first kiss at? >> ---

Do you regret losing your virginity to whoever you lost it to? >> ---

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? >> I don’t have a relationship with my mother.

Do you like the color lime green? >> It’s okay. In moderation.

What are your plans for tomorrow? >> I have no plans for tomorrow aside from the weekly Cafe Boba thing.

Would you rather wear jeans or yoga pants? >> Sweatpants.

Do you like your clothes to be baggy and comfortable or tight and revealing >> A little baggy and comfortable. I definitely don’t want anything “revealed”.

Do you wish you could change something about your hair? >> No.

Have you ever gotten a makeover? >> Yeah, at a Lord and Taylor’s counter when I was seventeen, for prom. Ugh.

Do you get mad easily? >> Not unless I’m depressed.

Have you ever punched someone in the face? >> No.

Do you think the minions from Despicable Me are cute? >> I really don’t.

Did you have a Gameboy as a child? >> No.

Would you rather have chocolate or gummy worms? >> Gummy worms. Sour, please.

What are your favorite pizza toppings? >> Pepperoni and various vegetables.

Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? >> No.

Do you make good sandwiches? >> They’re good enough for me.

Would you rather get high or get drunk? >> ---

Have you ever failed a drug test? >> No.

Do you like the Silent Hill movies? >> I liked the first one.

What movie scared you the most out of any other movies? >> ---

Tell me something you've been made fun of for in the past. >> Having big eyes.

What is one thing you need to work on to make yourself a better person? >> ---

Do you support war? >> No. It doesn’t need my support, though. It will always prevail.

#surveys #survey #random survey #this one long

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negahc · 5 years ago

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January 28, 2020

Hey folks! We’ve got a new blog platform for our weekly newsletter. Catch up on the latest articles and news from the last few weeks, and please share our newsletter with your friends and family. Thanks!

Brandon Cohran has joined the History Center as our new Museum Services Manager! Brandon received his bachelors degree from Kennesaw State University and recently graduated from the University of West Georgia with his masters degree in history with a concentration in public history. His thesis was centered around the history of beer in Georgia! (Perhaps you'll see an article on that in our newsletter soon!) Brandon is very excited to be at the History Center and looks forward to meeting you all.

Museum Services Manager Brandon Cohran

Thank you to all of our Members who joined us for a special members meeting to review the past year and look to the year ahead. We had much to be proud of in 2019 serving thousands of students through on-site and digital programming, providing our free Family Days, developing our free reading program, and drawing in new folks to enjoy the History Center's exhibits. All of this would not be possible without the support of our Members.

After the meeting, a special Forum was held in which George Washington (portrayed by Ken Johnston) and John Adams (portrayed by Glen Kyle) discussed their hopes for the future of the nation, where they agreed and disagreed on policies, and the differences in their presidencies. Watch the livestream here: Forum Livestream

John Adams (left) and George Washington (right)

Free admission to events like this and more are all part of our Membership. There are options for every financial level and great benefits. See all options at this link: Memberships

Our Lunch & Learn about 18th-century medicine was a fascinating look at the medical technology, common remedies, and medical knowledge of the time. Presented by our Executive Director Glen Kyle, guests learned about the medical equipment and tools, the technique of bleeding a patient for bad humors, dentistry, how to ease the pain of the patient, and more. Perhaps not the best topic to have with your lunch, but certainly an interesting one!

You can watch the livestream of this Lunch & Learn at this link: Lunch & Learn

Harriet Tubman met students of Chicopee Woods Elementary during a Live Webcast! This is one of our most popular Webcasts. The students love learning about Harriet's life, her escape to freedom, and how she helped hundreds of slaves escape through the network of safe-houses known as the Underground Railroad. Chiara Richardson portrays Harriet for our Webcasts and does a fantastic job. She's extremely knowledgeable of Harriet's life and can answer just about any question from the students! Here's what Chiara had to say about portraying Harriet Tubman:

"I am extremely honored and proud to portray the life of American abolitionist and political activist Harriet Tubman. She is a personal ‘shero’ of mine. In the webcast performances, we explore her life’s work and her impact beyond the Underground Railroad. I’ve learned that there is something about history coming to life that connects with students and even adults on a personal level. Yes, students leave with a greater understanding of Mrs. Tubman’s life. I believe the biggest takeaway is for students to awaken the possibilities of their own experiences."

Harriet Tubman meets students during a Live Webcast

Libba Beaucham portrayed a World War II “Rosie” this week for several classes during a Live Webcast. She specifically portrayed a woman who would have worked at the Bell Bomber Plant in Marietta, Georgia during WWII. She described the work of women on the homefront during the war and the challenges that people faced back home with rationing, communicating with loved ones serving overseas, and trying to balance home life and work life. During the out-of-character portion of the Webcast, Libba discussed the differences in the illustrations of Rosies. The illustration that most of us are familiar with is the “We Can Do It!” image by J. Howard Miller. But this image became iconic much later after the war! The most well-known image of a Rosie during the war was actually Norman Rockwell’s cover of the Saturday Evening Post in 1943 which depicts a Rosie with a brawny, more muscular body and confident attitude. Note that she also has her foot on the book Mein Kampf!

J. Howard Miller’s illustration

Norman Rockwell’s illustration

For MLK Day this year, we hosted a special storytime with MLK Jr. himself! Mustapha Slack portrayed MLK Jr. and took questions from the audience of children and families between reading stories. This program was part of the History Center’s reading program, Gainesville Reads, which provides free one-on-one tutoring to elementary students who struggle with reading. We had a wonderful set of books donated to the program! One family even made cookies for Dr. King! Thank you all who attended!

MLK JR answers questions

Children donate books to our reading program

Make sure you catch up on our latest podcast episodes! Parts 1 & 2 of our series on the Anglo-Saxons are ready for you to listen. Join Ken and Glen as they discuss the history, culture, and literature of the Anglo-Saxons as well as the research to understand this ancient culture. Listen at this link: Podcast Episodes

This week From the Archives is the Prior Street Garden Club Composition Book from 1932 to 1935. Prior Street is the road where Brenau University, Candler Park, and the Martha Hope Cabin reside. The Garden Club met monthly on Fridays at the Prior Street home of Mrs. J.H. Simmons.

Many interesting entries are within the book. The Garden Club donated seeds and plants to the Roadside Beautification Committee to be planted in their name during a November 2nd meeting. The group would create programs dedicated to the preservation and gardens of interest around the United States, including a program called “Famous Gardens” about the garden at Mount Vernon. Meetings would include a social hour, in which food, drink, and even games were played. We have a few of the Prior Street Garden Club’s Books within our archives, each an absolute joy to read!

Family Day: The Deerskin Wars + Super Museum Sunday Sunday, February 9th from 1-4 PM FREE

The most important trade in Colonial Georgia between Colonists and the Cherokee or Creek Nations was the exchange for deerskins given by the Native Americans for trade guns and “duffels” – a durable, highly prized cloth – to Frontier Merchants. This DeerSkin Trade was so lucrative in fact that trade-wars (and sometimes shooting wars!) broke out between the competing French and British Empires and their respective Native American allies. With Hands-on activities, Demonstrations, and Living History Interpretation we’ll bring the vibrant and colorful 18th century Deerskin Trade to life.

February 9th is also "Super Museum Sunday" so we are offering free admission to our exhibits during Family Day as well!

Family Days are free to the public thanks to the Ada Mae Ivester Education Center

Lunch & Learn: Abraham Lincoln Thursday, February 6th 12:00-12:45 PM Included in Admission

Join us for our next Lunch & Learn with President Abraham Lincoln himself! Hear the stories of his childhood and presidency, the challenges he faced, and have your questions answered. A great event for homeschool groups, families, and adults alike!

Forum: Slavery and the Cinema Tuesday, February 11th 7:00 - 8:00 PM $4 or Free for Members

From Birth of a Nation to Gone with the Wind to Twelve Years a Slave, the movies we've watched have reflected society's perspectives on enslaved people. Join Dr. Kevin Mace, an associate professor of communication at Brenau University, as he explores the portrayal of slavery in American cinema.

Our forum series is brought to you by the Ada Mae Ivester Education Center.

Doors open at 6:30 p.m., program 7-8 p.m.

Admission is FREE for members, $4 for everyone else.

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Photograph of D. Cran Oliver, Chief of Police of Athens. Mr. Oliver was police chief from 1883-1891 and again from 1894-1895.

Source: https://dlg.usg.edu/record/dlgvangclr048

#history #ushistory #georgia #georgiahistory #negahc #museums #localhistory #gainesvillega

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raviguruji · 2 years ago

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Navgrah Shanti Puja At Trimbakeshwar

The nine "grahas" or planets in our horoscope control our karma, our desires, and their outcomes. Each of these nine planets exerts an influence in our lives, which is called "dasa" and it can be known from one's horoscope. Navagraha Shanti puja is undertaken to reduce the negative effects and improve the positive energies related to a person.

Many times we hear people say our time is running bad. These bad times are attributed to the different Grahas (Planets), and their position in the current time. These Grahas can be appeased by performing the Grah shanti Puja. There are 2 ways to perform this Puja.

Swastivachan, Shanti Path, Sankalp, Ganesh Sthapana, Kalash Sthapana, Navgrah Sthapana, Brahma Sthapana, Agni Sthapana, Invocation of all Gods & Goddesses, Gauri and Ganesh Pujan, Kshetrapal Mandala Pujan, Yogini Pujan, Punyavachan, Brahman Varan, Recitation of Beej Mantra of all the nine planets ( 11000 recitations for each planet), Shanti Daan (donation) for each planet, Homa with Samagri like Ghee, Sugar, Til (Sesame seeds), Barley (Jow), Ashwagandha, Sandalwood powder, Navgrah Samidha with Dashansh recitation of Beej Mantra of planets and then Purnahuti, Aarti and Prasad Navgrah shanti puja trimbakeshwar

Sarv Graha Puja denotes the nine celestial bodies which are central to astrological calculations (and beliefs) (and not the nine planets as it is frequently erroneously translated).

The Sun, the Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn, and the two shadow planets Rahu and Ketu constitute the Sarv grahas.

The nine "grahas" or planets in our horoscope control our karma, our desires, and their outcomes. Each of these nine planets exerts an influence in our lives, which is called "dasa" and it can be known from one's horoscope. Navgrah shanti puja is undertaken to reduce the negative effects and improve the positive energies related to a person.

Satisfaction, Peace, spiritual wisdom, humane feelings, and all-around progress are what can be achieved through Graha Shanti Anushthan. This helps in building an environment whereby a positive ambiance is created within the environment and helps in fulfilling specific intentions. The positive vibrations keep the evil forces at bay and hence bring prosperity and happiness within the family.

Benefits of Navgrah shanti puja

It can make your life exciting and successful. You will feel away from all malefic effects and nothing wrong will happen. You will start feeling happy and staying healthy.

This Pooja will bring prosperity to your life.

It will keep away malefic energies away as predicted by your horoscope.

When you experience constant disturbance in your life, this Pooja can actually make you calm.

You will have a positive outlook towards things when you spiritually pray planets. They will shower their blessings on you.

After the completion of Pooja, good results will accumulate. You will get free from any sort of health disease.

Your financial condition will improve.

This Pooja is the best remedy for all doshas related to all planets in your horoscope.

People have can have unfavorable positioning of planets in their horoscope. They will have different remedies for each of them. But, this Pooja will help you tackle all those negative planetary influences as well.

Nav Grah Pooja is extremely helpful for personal life and happiness.

You will also receive success in your career.

If you have any special requests or questions about our services or would like to book a Puja service, please call us at - +91 7767985045

For more information please visit our site : https://www.kalsarpdoshpujatrimbakeshwar.com/navagraha-shanti.php

#Navgrah shanti puja trimbakeshwar #Navgrah shanti puja #Nav grah shanti puja at trimbakeshwar #Nav grah shanti

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dimensionsblog · 5 years ago

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Due to recent events, it's time I told my truth: So, we'll start from the beginning, when everyone knew me as the new affiliate on his cell phone playing Pokemon. At this point, I had been open about being transgender and bisexual. Right before I got the email saying I was affiliated, I met someone that went by the username AutumnLittleByte. This is where shit gets real. This is your one and only warning as I'm about to be fully honest about what happened. 2 weeks after meeting Autumn, she informed me to check my donations. Lo and behold, she sent me my first ever donation of $20, this was meant to go towards the PS4 or Steam games if I so chose. Whichever path I wanted to take to improve my streaming even further. In concept, this sounds like a kind and generous gesture, but in reality this was her way of "getting in". When I found out she'd given me this kind gift, I cried. I was honestly shocked someone would do that just to try to help. At the same time, she'd joined my old Discord. I'll get into why it's old later, trust. When she joined, she asked if she could add me as a friend so we could message each other. It seemed so harmless I immediately said yes. How was I to know any better? This was my first donation and my first real time properly using Discord. So what happened? Well, it started out harmless, as I said. She sent a picture of the shiny Mightyena she'd just captured on Pokemon X to me, helped me make a channel just to post shiny Pokemon in, and subsequently posted the same picture in there. Again, harmless at the time. Two weeks later, we'd been talking privately and learning more about each other. Apparently she was also transgender, but male-to-female. She claimed she was 19 and currently in her first year of college. Claim being the HUGE KEYWORD HERE. Seemed innocent enough, and she even sent a picture of hersrlf to confirm it. With no context she honestly looked 19. But did she act 19? Honestly, she was a bit immature. But I merely attributed it to how I am. I'm a bit immature and I won't lie about that. 2 more weeks of talking and she asked me out. Me. Me of all people. I was kind of floored as I had openly admitted I had a crush on another streamer, but it was just that, a crush. Nothing else came from it and that streamer and I remain friends. Especially in my heart, as she no longer streams or has been on Twitch in over 2 years. Now, being in this situation, getting to know this person and thinking what she claimed was the truth, she honestly seemed very sweet and I wanted to give her that chance. So I stupidly said yes. A few weeks into the new relationship and it seems to be going well. By this point, I had been gifted up to Stormblood on Final Fantasy XIV and was also gifted 6 months of subscription for the game. So that was extremely exciting and I chose to play and stream it quite often to hang out with my friends. Well, she started to get real jealous, real quick. It kind of worried me how quick. She basically didn't like my friend, who I previously stated I had a crush on, and claimed she knew 2 people that did not like her for manipulating others. Okay...? But where was the proof in that claim? I didn't really buy it either, but I let it slide. If we rewind just a bit, she'd done something that I was already weary of. So, my first game I ever streamed on the PC was Black Rock Shooter for the PSP, I did it using the PPSSPP emulator and my Xbox 360 USB controller. All seemed to go well and we had no problems. She even made me an overlay which my friends decided to have a little fun with after I set it up with my alerts. Well, Autumn upped the ante by continually donating with my friends, which started a donation war. Until she grew mad that she lost, stole money from her roommate, and called my friend a stupid slut on stream. All these donations, plus a very generous donation from my friend Chris later meant I could purchase Christmas presents for my family for the first time in a very long time. It felt nice to give back, but I also wanted to be a good boyfriend. How? By...spending $50 on Toothless from Build-A-Bear. He had chocolate scent. Toothless was apparently Autumn's favorite cartoon character and her favorite smell was chocolate. I had it sent to her and so in response, I got pictures when she received it and she actually gave me 2 $50 gift cards for my birthday and Christmas. Seems nice right? This is when things started getting noticeably bad. I was told I couldn't make any purchases without her permission. Nor could I spend any money on my mobile games. Nor could I get anything for XIV at all. And to me, that was a bit controlling and weird. But I let it slide. Remember? No one ever claimed to like me like she did before. So, I let her walk me through what she wanted it spent on. I got several Steam games I honestly wasn't interested in and....Minecraft. Yes, I had to spend $25 for the modded Minecraft. This way I could play with her on her server. This just seems controlling though? Some people are like that. Not in this case. I still haven't fully rewound so you guys would know more. I do this a lot so I can explain things. Let's head back to my birthday in 2017: The entire week, I had been told time and time again by my girlfriend that she had sent me a package for my birthday. She claimed it included a very personal letter, a ton of Reese's candies, and two large Treecko plushies she'd bought for me, as well as a Treecko poster. For those that know me well, Treecko is my all-time favorite Pokemon. Well, she promised and promised and promised it was coming, and so I was heartbroken on my own birthday to find out it never came. She claimed it was lost and sent me a tracking number. The tracking number didn't exist anywhere, I tried multiple places. So instead of getting angry, I knew I had problems with my bipolar depression at that point, I asked her what the letter was about. To try and get some insight as to why she nay not have sent it. She told me it said that she loved me. And that she was scared of how fast she'd fallen for me. And according to her, it detailed exactly how she fell and why she did. The last time anyone said that to me, I was being catfished for money. I was shocked and honestly I had some kind of feelings but I wasn't sure what they were. So I said it back to her, but I was honest and she claimed she was okay with that. Now we return to the gift cards and Minecraft time. Oh boy. You probably can already tell where this is going, but it's my truth and this is how I choose to tell it. Anyways, Autumn had become not only controlling, but very clingy at this point. I told her several times that I was going to sleep or taking a nap in the previous week and she'd begun to act like I was avoiding her or leaving her. It was this behavior that manipulated me to begin with. I did everything I could to reassure her that I wasn't leaving her and I cared about her very much. Well, one night she got very upset with me. This was because I refused to do 2 things: Let her control me on Minecraft so she could play with her apparent ex at the same time and flirt the whole time I was there doing basically nothing but continually mining for gems and dying to lava, and I also adamantly refused to take nudes and send them to her. She'd been trying to get me to do that for a solid 2 weeks and I simply wouldn't do it at all. And that pissed her off. She called me, on Discord, apparently crying. Telling me I made her feel like shit and it was my fault. I had to beg and plead for forgiveness, for her to take me back, because I was so manipulated at that point I thought she was as good as I was going to get. She finally caved after me breaking down on the phone with her. Her claim at the time was that she never had anyone fight for her like I did, and it made her like me more. Sure it did. Mhm. Anyways, we continued to have stupid little arguments since. Mainly involving me being forced into Minecraft with her and her ex once again, me trying to play XIV with my friends that she didn't like apparently before I was gifted the game and subscription, or especially me saying no to nudes. A week before our final fight, I was actually finally able to relax and spend some time with my friends that she didnt like, but we chose to do it off stream so she couldn't snoop. I even hid myself playing games on Discord so she wouldn't know at all. Both were concerned. I didn't seem happy, or myself. It kind of seemed like I was bending to her will and it scared them. Tbh it scared me too. I told them I was scared, and I didn't know if I could leave without more problems. More problems? What do you mean? Well, the night before, obviously Autumn and I had gotten into another fight. In that fight, Autumn let it slip that she wasn't transgender, and also wasn't 19. She lied about both things to get with me, she was really 16 and apparently gender fluid. Meaning she didn't mind being addressed as male or female. It scared me because I had just turned 24, I didn't want shit happening to me because she lied about her damn age. What was worse was that she actually sent nudes in the hopes I would send her some in return. Which is why we always fought. I deleted her pictures and when they weren't in our messages anymore on Discord she got pissed and cursed me out. She would attack all my insecurities and use my bipolar depression against me as if I was trash for having it. Then I would get the blame for her having to be mean and set me right when I didn't do anything to deserve that in the first place. I'm not into nudes, it's not shocking I don't want them. Both friends encouraged me to leave her, my mother even begged me to leave her and I just...I couldn't. I was stuck in this rut. She was underage and could use that against me. I wasn't going to do any better, I was going to feel like shit forever and never be happy again. I legitimately believed this. Well, everyone around me did what they could to help me try to be happy in this shitty situation. So a week after relaxing, I decided to stream XIV again, but I twisted it so I could include Autumn. She'd gotten a free trial, so this way we could play and enjoy ourselves....so I thought. Autumn was ADAMANT about barring my friend from even playing the game. No Discord chat or game for her, that's what she wanted. No, I want her to talk to me and I want to play this game with her. That popped into my head immediately, a clear light in a seemingly endless realm of darkness. So I did, I added her to the Discord chat and Autumn lost her shit. "Xion what did I just fucking tell you? I said don't add her to the call." Immediately came out of her mouth, she knew she'd been caught right then and there trying to bar me from my friends and manipulate me. There's still the clip of me being "dumped" by finally standing up for myself. Finally. And they were so concerned they did something wrong that when the breakup was finalized, they cheered. And did everything they could to keep me smiling and happy that entire stream. So why now? Why tell us all of this now? Because abuse of any kind, it's never okay. It's not okay to defend someone like that for supposedly changing as well, especially if they victim blame as I have seen. I lived through 3 months of pure hell, never again. You are not alone. If you are being abused, there's always a light in the deepest darkness. You can break free and be happy, I believe in you.

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #212

“counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums.”

Have you ever fired a gun? No. Have you ever tried archery? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? A day or so. Do you have any scars? Whew, a lot. I scar easily tbh, though me being so so pale probably contributes to making them more noticeable. Are you a good judge of character? I don't really know. I think so, but then again I'm very very paranoid when meeting new people and look TOO deep into how I expect someone to be. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Just British. What is your favorite accent? British generally, but I find French sooo pretty with girls, then Scottish is cool. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no clue. Probably my leather boots. Can you curl your tongue? Yes, surprisingly... I just tried and I can with the slight curve in my tongue ring. Most used phrased? Probably "what a mood" or something like that lmao. Most used word? Besides the words in most sentences, I'm sure it's probably "fuck." How long does it take for you to get ready? Am I taking a shower? Then just like... less than 20 minutes. Without a shower, it's like less than ten minutes. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Both. Can you name all 50 states of America? No. I'm a sad American. Have you ever started a rumor? No. How fast can you type? I took a test awhile back for a job application purpose and it's 72 or so wpm. How fast can you run? I can tell you NOT FAST without even trying. Color of your bedspread? Navy and black. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I don't think so. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I don't have one. Do you wear eyeliner? If I ever wear makeup, that's the one thing I will wear. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn’t cry? Yes, probably early 2017. I was so numb until I started to "feel" recovery. Even as I got better, I had a hard time crying. Last year was a pretty "I can't cry"-type time, too. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Not a fan of yogurt. What are your favorite type of calendars? I don't have one? Do you have a full-length mirror? Yes. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? No. What’s your favorite DIY crafts YouTube channel? I don't watch DIY crafts. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? At my current age, bottom. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Probably caramel corn. But buttery and salty is great too. Does your town have a big fountain in it? No. What is your town known for? Probably nothing. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? If yes, what is it? Hm. That's a long ways off, idk. All I know is it'd be great if Sara was here. And then there's the yearly urge to get a tattoo that day lmao. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? I think The Shining. Watched it for the first time and loved it. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Hey could I have money right now. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? If so, what? English/Language Arts. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? I love what I currently have. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Dyed hair. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Do you have bangs? No. What’s your favorite rock band? I'd say Marilyn Manson. (I'm excluding metal, 'cuz that's a different story.) Who’s your favorite country singer? I don't mind Tim McGraw. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? I didn't. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Actual baby pictures, usually no. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes; I was born dirty blonde. Do you wear matching socks? Yeah. Do you decorate for Halloween? We don't really anymore. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just swim around, relax. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I think so. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? Only ever black. Do you see yourself as a sensitive person? I'm extremely sensitive. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? Yes. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? I'm not very festive, no. The only holidays that really excite me are Halloween and Christmas. What is your favorite subject to learn about? Meerkats. You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. It usually comforts me/makes me feel less alone. Even though I might cry. Is there a song or artist that you secretly enjoy, but don’t want to enjoy? I like a decent number of Blood On The Dancefloor songs. Has your parents' taste in music in any way affected what you like? Yes. When I started getting into rock naturally, I began listening to my mom's CDs, and that's when metal stole my heart. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you still own any CD’s/records/tapes? Mom has CDs. She may or may not have tapes from when my sisters and I were really young for memory's sake; we had a lot of kid ones, like Raffi. Do you ever hear a new song on TV that you like and find it? When I watched TV, yeah, rarely. Do you watch the news? No. What about the weather channel? No. What’s your favorite holiday movie? Maybe Hocus Pocus. How do you feel about adult cartoons? I don't have an opinion. Do you still watch shows that you grew up watching? No. What about movies that you grew up with? Yeah. Do you identify with any organized religion? No. If so - is it how you were raised, or have you found your own? I was raised Catholic, grew to simply a Christian, then left that behind a year or more ago. Have you ever protested or been on strike? Does not eating at Chick-fil-a count as some kind of "protest?" That place was hard to let go of, but nah man, I'm not supporting your business when your higher-ups contribute to anti-LGBT efforts and such. Is gun control necessary or no? Some degree of control absolutely is. Are you happy with the political state where you reside? HAHA no. Should abstinence or sex education be taught in schools? Education, but I do believe in heavily advising smart sexual decisions such as not just doing it with just anyone. Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? I read the book. Should shows like this be available to everyone or could it be a trigger? Fuck the show. Do you like animals? Of course. What is your absolute favorite food? Probably pizza. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? You don't know the half of it. I literally cried the first and last day of my last job because I couldn't find the gloves when I needed to. So yeah, I take meds, but I don't think either do very much, honestly. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on? A former best friend. I cared when she didn't. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? I never in a million years thought I was going to have a bad - traumatic - breakup when I was kid because I "knew who to pick." I was so sure. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? The guy who helped in basic training with me saying "well that was a waste of my time" when my co-worker told him what was going on with me. Literally, it won't get out of my head. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about? lmao I have Mark wallpapers stored, my friend. Don't find my collection. How often do you have late nights out? Never. Ever. Do you currently have any mixed feelings about someone? As far as friendships go, yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No no no no no. I want a job to get OUT of my house. I know I'd be less productive, too. What were you like in middle school? Weird and probably annoying. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to? I'm not sure. I'd have to look more into ones with causes I'm passionate about. Most likely something about conservation. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am. Which do you think is harder: realizing you haven’t changed or realizing you have? The former. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? Plenty of things. Have you ever won some sort of prize or prize package from a contest? What did you win? Yeah, a few. I don't remember most; I only really remember the Silent Hill one I've mentioned before. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet? A cure for cancer, I guess? I dunno. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Probably The Entity. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? lol by golly do I wish. I don't fucking know if I'll achieve any. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? I get legitimately bothered by people going in/out the wrong door. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes? No. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't care. What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? Shoulder blades why do I love shoulder blades????? Where do you sing the most, in the car or the shower? I dunno. Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? Probably. Do you have freckles? Not on my face. I did as a kid though. Weird. How many languages can you say “Hello” in? Three. What’s the last video game you played? So not computer? I believe... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? Or Shadow of the Colossus. I don't remember. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I don't like feet to begin with, and I don't like mine. My feet are so dry and callused to HELL from when I used to walk all the time. I need to see a doctor to get rid of the worst ones on my toes honestly because they annoy the fuck out of me because ugly. Candles or incense? Incense. Reason behind the last time you laughed until you cried? I don't remember. Are you one who brags a lot? I don't have anything to brag about. Do you face your problems head on or do you run away from them? Depends on the problem, I guess... What is the latest you’ve stayed out before? I remember there was one night in particular with Jason where he dropped me off like... really late. Around 3 or later in the morning. I don't remember why I got home so late. Are you confrontational? AVOID! AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! COSTS! Do you stand your ground? Usually. Who do you know without a doubt cares about you? Mom, Sara, and Dad. Have you ever caught yourself talking in your sleep? For the past year and more, I've started sleep talking frequently... and yeah, I've woken up in the middle of doing it plenty of times. Did you do anything stupid/anything you regret today? I probably do something stupid every day. Little things like procrastinate on everything are certainties. Have you ever switched primary care doctors? Do not. Get me FUCKING started. On the doctor who kept me on a medication that resulted in gaining like 150 pounds and blaming it all on me. Yeah, I switched. If yes, what was the reason? lol see above. Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor just for fun? God no. Sleeping on the floor is a last resort. Are you worried about your current financial situation? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Do you know anyone who’s had a stillbirth? Probably. Who was the last person you know (or that you know of) that died? Uhhh I'm not sure. Possibly the old lady Mom watched. Do you need a new phone? Desperately. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? A big one. Do you identify as a supernatural being..i.e., unicorn, alien, goddess…? Uh no. What’s one thing you are tired of seeing or hearing about on Facebook? Guys I don't understand the "me and the boys" meme laskdfjalwier make it go away. What theme do you want for your wedding? Halloween-ish. What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? Idk. I don't want kids, so this isn't something I think about. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Pastel pink. Not for stereotypical reasons, my favorite color just happens to be pink and I think it's cute for a baby. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. Which family member did you get your height from? Mom and I are pretty much the same height. Do you like your butt? NO I have a pancake ass. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? An old high school friend recently had a baby named Jaspen. Are all of your friends having babies right now? I think most of my old friends have at least one kid by now. Do you know anyone who’s given birth to twins? Yes. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yes, when my older sister started controlling the radio. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Where were you going the first time you rode a plane? Ohio or Michigan. Do you like tomatoes? Not really, no. The only time I ever have was fresh ones with bacon and light mayo on a sandwich. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Why is there a small dolphin in the corner of our back yard?????? What annoys you more: slow talkers or slow walkers? Slow walkers. Have you ever been to a night club? No. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Something about being prone to anxiety, I guess. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Not in the slightest. What is your MBTI personality type? INFP Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No. Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky. Are you androgynous? No. Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No. Well I kiss my niece's and nephew's cheeks when telling them bye, but they're the only ones. What is the youngest age you can remember back to? I have at least one memory from when I was two. Did you wear your hair in a ponytail today? It's too short for that. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Slaughterhouse worker was the first thing to come to mind. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? No. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I don't think I've stayed in a bad one... What was the first kind of alcohol you ever tasted? A daiquiri. Do you use any styling products on your hair? No. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? Even though it's my favorite book, Johnny Got His Gun takes the cake here. The way it's written is very confusing, though I think I get why Trumbo chose such a style. Do you like your personality? I like some things, hate others. Are your legs long or short? I'd say they're proportional to the rest of my body. How many phobias do you have? A lot. Where do you think your last ex is right now? He's probably sleeping since he works 3rd shift. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in the last week? I don't know. Probably the sky during a car ride or something. Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? My mom. When was the last time you felt like throwing up? A week ago or so when I had an anxiety attack the night before my first day of work. I got myself so worked up. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? For the two fucking hours I lasted at my last job lmao. Do you use the Facebook chat often? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? Nope. Who ended your last relationship? Me. Do you still remember your first kiss? Yeah. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Yeah, other than being long-distance. How many kids do you want to have? None. Have you ever purposely given someone the wrong number? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I haven't. Though by this point in my life, I wish NC would catch up with the times and legalize it medicinally because I've given up enough to turn to that for my anxiety. Who was the last person you talked to, other than family? My old VR coach. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Last December. Is there a girl you absolutely can not stand? No. At least not off the top of my head. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No, I was that person lmao. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. Say your last ex walks up to you and hugs you, what do you say? We're still friends, so. At the current time, a random hug from him would probably make me cry though because he's not very affectionate and I haven't been stable for days. I need the comfort alsdjfakljwer Who was the last baby you held? It's probably been like a year since I've held a baby when I was still friends with Colleen. But y'all my sister is pregnant & next year GUESS WHO I'M HOLDING. Do you have any siblings that moved away to college? She did, but she's long since graduated. Who was the last person who cried around you? I'm sure it was Mom. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Would you rather have nice eyes or nice lips/smile? Smile, I suppose. Do you have a common first name? Yes. Do you like your middle name or your first name more? My first, I guess. Do you wear more rings or necklaces? I always have a ring on. Have you ever been engaged? No. Can you see your veins through your skin? In some areas. Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? Yes. Do you like spicy chips? Yes. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Metallica. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yes. Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? Both. Who scheduled your last doctor visit? My mom. I don't drive, so she drives me around, and so things have to fit into her busy schedule. So she just does it. Do you have any holiday themed socks? True shit, I think most of mine are, lmao... Like you know, socks are a common gift on Christmas. What’s the last funny movie you watched? Idr. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Yes. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I'd say it depends on the person, but in general, I suppose snakebites? What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Splat is the only brand that has ever stuck to my hair. Lasted months. Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? Only Jason's junior and senior years sometimes to go to his house. Are you any good at applying make up? No. I have tremors in my hands, and it makes it an absolute nightmare. Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? I certainly don't try to, but I somehow always end up doing it. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Rolls and honey ham. And that is /literally/ it. I don't like Thanksgiving food. Do you like Techno music? Yeah. Is your second toe longer than your big toe? They're like the exact same length. Do you say "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays?" The former. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Mom. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? I've only ever been to Alice Cooper, but it was great. I'm supposed to be seeing Ozzy plus supposedly Judas Priest and Megadeth (you're not allowed to die, Dave) next year, and that. That will be. My preview into Heaven. I will sob. How did you meet your best friend? Over YouTube via the meerkat RP community. Do you need money to be happy? Try living really poor and come back to me claiming money can't ever buy happiness. What is something you do well? Dig way, way too deep into absolutely anything and everything. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? I've started to count calories on top of fasting. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Ahhhhh, cinnamon rolls. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? For most things, a few days or a week. Bigger things, maybe like a month+? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? 2-3, depending on my appetite. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? I wouldn't move there, not with all my family and such here, but I think living in Canada would be better sometimes. Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? I strongly prefer the window seat; I've found that if I'm not looking out the window and the plane changes altitude or direction (takeoff is the worst), I get VERY dizzy. I usually always wind up in the middle seat, and there and in the aisle seat, I have to close my eyes at times like those. What’s your favorite song from a movie? As far as original songs, probably "Be Prepared" from The Lion King. A goddamn beat. What’s your favorite city? I haven't been to many. Idk. Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? Hell, I have no idea. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? I usually have a granola bar as a snack or even just a meal in place of breakfast or lunch. Is there a food you eat that others find weird or gross? I grew up sometimes eating waffles with peanut butter and syrup as Dad loved it. It's definitely different, but it's absolutely delicious. What was the last fast food restaurant you went to? Did you get anything? If so, what? I think Sonic? I got a double bacon cheeseburger. I fell in love with their burgers. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I'm not sure, but it was probably Spyro The Dragon. My first gaming system was a PS1. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? Alone. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There isn't one. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I leave it on. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? No. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? Omg I saw this shirt online of a really cool demonic pig that said something like "Save the animals, eat humans." It was actually a vegan shirt, but I nevertheless wanted it, lol. I support veganism, but yeah... I could never do it. But anyway, it was too expensive. Do you live in a very diverse community? Not really, no. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e-coli? No; no; no. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Sigh. We put Cali down. Something ruptured in her abdomen and there was also a mass on her liver or gallbladder, and her abdomen was filling with blood. It compressed her lungs so much she could barely breathe. Surgery was extremely expensive, but more importantly, we were told it likely wouldn't save her. Do you get motion sick easily? If so, does it prevent you from going on any rides at amusement parks? I've never gotten motion sickness, but I don't risk that shit with amusement park rides or boats out at sea. I'm terrified of vomiting. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No. Name something that you used to do with your family that you no longer do with them or at all? Easter egg painting. Have you seen Inception yet? Thoughts on that movie? I never saw it.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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kaylewiswrites · 6 years ago

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Drunk WIP Week Day 2 - Knifepoint

Welcome to day two of the week where I rant about my wips like an excited drunk person because I’m tired of trying to make coherent and professional sense. Yesterday, I made an extremely long post about my main WIP Walk, so go check that out if you like morally grey characters, almost-dystopian settings, and found families that, every once in a while, get along with each other.

But today? Today, we’re talking about....

Knifepoint

Sometimes I start off a story with a vague idea in my head, and sometimes I literally just start writing words to see what happens. In this case, it was 75k of a slow-burn enemies-to-lovers lesbian romance in the desert between three politically fraught invented nations. It was almost entirely about (a) not having enough water and (b) deep conversations about feelings, so I decided to actually try drafting for the first time in my life, and now we have a plot! but the slow-burn romance and talking about feelings in a desert is still a thing. Like, a big thing.

Premise:

So we’ve got three countries living together, with a rich (not so thought out) history, and a desert sitting in the middle of the peninsula they occupy.

Ceathyia: This is a peaceful country of diplomats, fine artists, scholars, and doctors. They’re, like, pretty stuck up. They’re all proud of themselves because they value selflessness and kindness above everything else, and their neighboring countries can get kind of defensive around them. Not too defensive, though. They’re the best at selling and marketing to the more distant countries, so the other nations sell most of their goods to Ceathyia. Besides, they’re a bit annoying, but ultimately harmless. It’s not like a Ceathyia is ever going to stir up trouble. They worship the sun as a symbol of all they aspire to be (warm and giving and selfless and all that stuff).

Koden: Separated from it’s neighbors by a strip of desert, it’s only been two hundred or so years since Ceathyia and Haryth even knew that Koden and it’s people existed. Before then, both countries just assumed they had rights to the whole desert if they wanted it, but when they found out the other was there, they got...pissed. Koden raises it’s kids in kind of a weird way: each citizen is trained to live for only three things. Any three things, but only three. Is it money? Is it family? Is it peace, or lust, or commitment or happiness? The country doesn’t really care, and it believes everyone has the freedom to do what they need to do in pursuit of these ‘Aspects’ of their ‘Selves’. Murder a man because your aspect is ‘violence’? Fine with us, but that man over there with a ‘justice’ aspect has just as much right to slit your throat. So it reads as pretty lawless and chaotic.

Haryth: They want to fight. They want to fight ALL THE TIME. They want that desert that Koden claimed for themselves. Harythian people aren’t born with names. They have to die a glorious death on the field of battle to be worthy of remembering, so it’s easy to encourage young people to train to be soldiers. They have to pass ten tasks in order to be received: archery, hand-to-hand combat, sword fighting, stealth, on and on until their final task: walking the length of the enemy country of Koden and back without being killed. If you can do that, you’re a soldier, and you’re one step closer to getting your name.

Characters:

We’ve got one main character from each country, because how else would we do it?

Sian: Late teenage Ceathyian (why would I know my characters ages?). He’s studying to be a doctor, but for right now he’s accompanying his dad on a diplomatic trip to Koden. In a country of kind and selfless people, he feels an unhealthy need to be the MOST kind and the MOST selfless, because he’s terrified that people will find out that he’s faking. He thinks he’s terrible. He’s always felt this desire to live carefree lives the way the other nations do, and he’s been bottling up his resentment of his society since his mother died. So he compensates by donating the most, volunteering the most, getting the best grades, but the more praise he gets for his behavior, the guiltier he feels, and the harder he feels like he needs to work. He’s just a big ball of self-loathing anxiety. Oh, and he’s about to find out he’s not as straight as he thought he was.

(Side note, I’m pretty sure the only (maybe) straight people in this book are the villains. Like, even all the named side characters at this point are somewhere in the LGBT alphabet.)

Mona: Like all Kodens, she has a Self: Simplicity, Survival, and Self Control are her three aspects. She’s a blacksmith that makes really cool weapons, and her workmanship is so good that people come from Ceathyia to make requests. This is good, because all that money means Survival is happy. Simplicity likes the process of making everything, the repetitiveness. Self Control is happy to get rid of any trace of anger buy hitting things with a hammer over and over again. So she’s got a pretty chill life. Until these other two nerds come hurtling into it, ruining everything. When she can’t satisfy Simplicity, she gets intense stomach pains (Anxiety), but Self Control refuses to show weakness, so she just smiles. The more upset she is, the more she smiles. If she’s really panicking, she starts laughing. It throws the others off, and makes them think she’s an asshole, but she’s mostly just trying to make it through all these stressful situations without an ulcer.

Rada: That’s not her real name (since she’s not dead, she doesn’t have one), but it is a nickname Mona gives her to piss her off. Actually, most of want Mona does pisses her off. Rada is basically the (ง'̀-'́)ง emoji. She has a short temper, is extremely impatient, and a little too curious for her own good. She tends to feel everything very passionately, which is why she takes every accidental slight from the other two very personally. She’s also ridiculously impulsive. Like, deciding to jump into the final task of breaking into Koden without actually learning the language first kind of impulsive. Like gambling away her only weapons in an enemy country kind of impulsive. Like stealing new, very expensive knives from a famous Koden blacksmith in front of a Ceathyian, leading all three of them on a chase scenes that ends with the discovery of a political plot kind of impulsive. You know the type, right?

Plot

So yeah. Look at the last two sentences of the last paragraph, and that’s basically how we start. Turns out Ceathyian has been manipulating the other two countries into war for decades, for their own gain, and these three idiots have to figure out a way to stop them before another war breaks out. This will require them to: Cross a large, inhospitable desert, make their way through two different countries that members of their party are not welcome in, deal with disapproving fathers, coming to terms with different sexualities, coming to terms with the idea that your enemy might not need to be your enemy, learning new languages, discovering what platonic love feels like, and one very drunk night of dancing.

I really did try to make this one shorter than yesterday BUT it didn’t work. Tagging @aomory and @concerningwolves. Let me know if anyone wants to be tagged in posts about Knifepoint in the future, or in the rest of Drunk WIP Week. If you want to see a more professional explanation of Knifepoint, you can see the WIP page here

Below is a snippet of Knifepoint. Critique and criticism is always welcome!

We’ve already established I’m not good with the mud, right? That point’s been made clear to you? No review necessary? Great. So you understand that while I’m running from the second shop keep of the day, I’m not doing too well.

Each step feels like a gamble, a chance. I’m usually fast—the Speed Task was the first one I passed, after all— but each step I take lands deep in the mud and it’s hard to call what I’m doing running when it takes so long to lift each foot up. Some people yell as my attempts to sprint splatter them with wet dirt.

While it seemed clear pretty quickly that the used salesman wasn’t interested in a pursuit, I’m getting a different vibe from this encounter. Maybe because you actually took something this time, I remind myself. Technically three things. Three very expensive things.

Stupid broach. Stupid Ceathyian. Does he think he’s doing the right thing? Does getting someone killed over a piece of jewelry make him morally superior?

I take a glance over my shoulder, wondering if it’s safe to slow down. The shop keep probably isn’t hard to lose, and the Ceathyian wouldn’t want to get his nice clothes all dirty. But I don’t find either of them behind me.

The blacksmith. The blacksmith running with her hammer in hand. The blacksmith that is running barefoot through the mud like she was born in it.

She probably was, I growl to myself. I take a sharp turn into the market square, using a pole to pull myself in the right direction. It’ll be easy to disappear into the crowd here, I think. I take a few steps leaning back to slow myself down quickly…

…and slip. I slip right into a tent with a wooden board of a gold painted sword.

The poles fall, the cloth collapses, and from inside I hear the sound of clanging metal and an angry roar. I roll off the cloth, just in case any of the sword happen to be sharper than they looked. I right myself quickly, but the blacksmith is only a few tents away, and that hammer doesn’t look friendly. I pull my feet out of the mud and keep running.

So the market plan was a bust. But if I can get into some of the tighter side streets, I might be able to lose her there. I need to, fast. She’s gaining on me with every turn. She might be able to run better in mud, but a Harythian will always be able to outsmart a Koden.

A left, a right. The paths get skinnier, the backs of the buildings point toward us. The paths don’t make sense, houses built and added to at a whim. I’m going to have a hell of a time finding my way out of this, but I guess being lost is a privilege of being alive.

Left, left, right, and then a fork in the road. Perfect. I run to the left, then shove myself into an alley way on the right, folding my body behind a barrel. She’ll have no idea which way I’ve gone. She won’t be able to—

A hand grabs my hair and yanks me up. I pull the new knives out of my sleeves and swipe, but I only gaze the hand pulling back. Even that, though, is enough to draw a thin, shallow line of blood across the blacksmith’s palm.

She smiles as she lifts the hammer. “You give up, you get to live. You fight, I leave a corpse back here. This is your choice.”

I growl and slash upwards, but the movement is awkward in this cramped space. I realize this is the first fight I’ve ever had outside my training yard, and it couldn’t be more different. Narrow alley, muddy ground, and a girl with a hammer—everything I’ve learned in training is failing me. In less than a minute she has me on the ground, knives in the mud, holding me up by my wrist. I wait for her to bring the hammer down on my head and end it, but she keeps looking at me with the same vague smile. “Well? I demand, knees sinking into that godforsaken mud. If this is how I die, I’d rather get it over with.

“You didn’t happen to steal an ax as well, did you?” She asks. Her voice is soft and smooth, not at all what I expect, and I’m wondering if that has something to do with the fact that I’m obviously not hearing things right.

“What?”

Wet running footsetps and wheezy breath narrowly give us warning to the arrival of another person. I feel both ashamed and hopeful at the idea of someone finding me like this, but the person that almost runs by and has to double back is not some savoir but the Ceathyian snitch that put me in this position in the first place.

“Stop!” he pants. “Don’t—Don’t hurt her!” He’s leaning heavily on the silver staff he was holding when I ran.

“Did you steal that, too?” The blacksmith asks.

The boy closes his eyes and pants harder. “No, i…it was in my hand when I chased you out of the shop, and I didn’t realize it until I had gone all the way down the street, and I was afraid it would get stolen if I put it down, so I thought I’d…just return it in person when I found you, but the important part is, don’t hurt her.”

“Did you happen to bring an ax?” The blacksmith asks. Ok, I know I didn’t mistranslate this time. Between her vague smile, calm voice, and irrational questions, there’s something going on with her.

When the Ceathyian looks confused, she continues: “Do you think Gadum was being serious? About bringing back her hand?”

Instinctually, I try to twist out of her grip, but I swear the girl is made of the same iron she works with.

“You can’t cut off her hand!” The Ceathyian cries.

“I know,” the blacksmith answers. “All I brought was this hammer.”

#writblr #writeblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #my wip #knifepoint #drunk WIP week 2018 #long post

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zrtranscripts · 6 years ago

Text

Season 7, Mission 39: Come Together

Do Or Die

SAM YAO: So this is it. Huge horde of V-types heading for Seaside base, where there are still thousands of civilians. It's all on us.

JODY MARSH: Do or die. Now or never.

AMELIA SPENS: Us against the world. Exciting.

SAM YAO: Amelia! How are you on our channel?

AMELIA SPENS: I've taken the liberty of offering the various heads of settlement temporary safe haven at New Canton. We're very well provisioned and secure. We're having wonderful conversations about free trade, which will, of course, come to nothing if you don't manage to defeat that horde. So I'm going to advise you on our anti-zom tech.

PETER LYNNE: It's nice to be on the same side, Amelia. I haven't forgotten that you were the one who looked after me when no one else would. So did Sage, of course. That's my trademark move. Being cared for by people who turn out to be just a little bit monstrous, like me. Still, I think you’ll do that job, well, really well, actually.

AMELIA SPENS: No idea what you're talking about. So what's the plan, gang?

JANINE DE LUCA: The V-types are extremely intelligent, now there is a huge number of them. They are marching in orderly phalanxes.

JODY MARSH: But every threat is also an opportunity, right?

JANINE DE LUCA: Correct! They are behaving like an army. I know how to fight an army. If we present them with a threat, they must honor that threat.

AMELIA SPENS: Threat, threat. Let's see, what have I got in my bag of tricks? Oh! Brent's pigs, the ones that eat dead flesh. He's donated a sty-ful to the cause. They're to the west. Runner Five, if you release them, that should cause some confusion.

JANINE DE LUCA: Good! That will give us time to evacuate the civilians from Seaside. Go now, Five. Run.

[pigs grunt and squeal]

SAM YAO: Wow. Look at them go, Five. They're sort of majestic. The rippling backs of dozens of pigs heading straight for the V-types, and – yes. The V-type army has diverted toward them. I mean, well, the pigs aren't going to enjoy this, but it should buy us some time.

PETER LYNNE: I'm at Seaside base with a crowd of evacuees. Janine, am I okay to lead them to safety?

JANINE DE LUCA: The horde is heading away from you, Mr. Lynne. Lead your evacuees north, skirting the burn cube ruins, quickly. Runner Four is leading a second group south and west. There are still many people on board the rig, but with luck, we can keep the horde occupied until they escape.

PETER LYNNE: Roger that. On my way.

COLONEL SAGE: I've heard from my people on the rig. They found a device in the latrines which matches the description of the one Jones planted in Abel. They've destroyed it.

SAM YAO: Well, it's a bit late now. Horde's already formed.

JANINE DE LUCA: Nonetheless, it is good to form a picture of what happened here.

COLONEL SAGE: Through knowledge, victory.

SAM YAO: Uh, Janine, look at that on cams. Horde movement. They started heading toward the pigs, but at the top of the horde, a few are turning towards Peter and his evacuees.

JANINE DE LUCA: We have more tricks up our sleeve, as they say. Runner Five, head east to the shore. Run towards the large propeller array now.

SAM YAO: Okay, Five, you're at the propeller array. It looks like, uh, a bunch of huge wind turbines. Are we going to blow the V-types away?

JANINE DE LUCA: The gusts of wind generated would not be strong enough, Mr. Yao. But do you recall some experiments Miss McShell performed on how V-type senses could be confused by a fan? She now suspects the V-type fungus responds to changes in wind speed.

SAM YAO: Ah, at the Aqua Center. I get it! Five, switch on the fans. [fans run] It looks just like the bit in The Crystal Maze where the money swirled around in a big glass tube, except it's leaves, stones, and loose zombie bits swirling around.

JANINE DE LUCA: The great mass of the horde has stopped stock-still. Mr. Lynne, lead your evacuees away from danger.

PETER LYNNE: Gotcha, Janine. We're using the makeshift bridge at Levantin Cliffs. It's only rope, so once we're all over, I'll cut it, and we'll all be safe from the horde. Sorry to cut off a route, but I think -

JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, it is critically important that no V-type bites you.

PETER LYNNE: We don't need anymore P-types, yes. All right. Everyone, over the bridge! That's it.

JANINE DE LUCA: With the horde halted, we have a valuable opportunity to consider what to do next. Miss Spens, I have received your resource list from the settlements, thank you. Colonel Sage, any thoughts?

COLONEL SAGE: I have little to add. I – oh, what's that behind Peter?

PETER LYNNE: Oh damn, it's a V-type. Just the one. Okay, I can hold it off with gunfire while I cross the bridge.

[gunshots]

SAM YAO: You're doing fine, Peter. You just need to stay a few paces ahead of the V-type. You're not far from the bridge. Once you're on the other side, cut the ropes – oh God, what's happening? The V-type's burst a red fungus out of its face and chest. It's holding Peter with its tendrils. Runner Five, you've got to cut him free. Go!

[fungus squelches, knife saws through tendrils]

PETER LYNNE: Thanks, Five. Look at this thing. It's not moving, just rooted into the earth. I couldn't get away from those red tendrils. Just cut through a few more, and I – [shouts]

SAM YAO: Peter, what's happened?

PETER LYNNE: The tendrils around my hand just twisted my bloody little finger off! God, that hurts.

[zombies groan]

SAM YAO: There are more V-types approaching from the south. Five, Peter, get out of there. Rope bridge.

PETER LYNNE: Right, uh, only there are six or seven V-types between me and Five and the bridge now. We can't go that way. It's... it's weird. They're not attacking or following the evacuees. Five, head east with me. Come on.

COLONEL SAGE: Curious. They're extremely intelligent, now. Well, what do they want?

SAM YAO: Look at the screen. Peter's finger, they're passing it around, trying to bite it.

COLONEL SAGE: But it's not working. They're throwing it away in disgust.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, right. I get it. Oh, of course.

AMELIA SPENS: Do you want to clue the rest of us in? Anything you've been doing with your finger you need to confess?

PETER LYNNE: The zoms didn't divert to follow the evacuees. They diverted to follow me. Don't you see? They want to absorb me, become invulnerable. That's why they're here!

SAM YAO: Sorry, what? How could they possibly know that?

PETER LYNNE: Remember the V-type watching me on Sigrid's island? You saw it, Five. And the zom watching me in the forest, the one that just turned to walk away? This – this whole thing. They're here for me!

AMELIA SPENS: This is narcissism. As a narcissist, I should know.

COLONEL SAGE: No, you may be right, Peter. I've researched dispersed intelligence. I believe the horde could grow that intelligent. Veronica's research on the nanites and the V-type confirms it.

AMELIA SPENS: Just a second. How do you have Veronica's research?

COLONEL SAGE: My drone retrieved her computer core, along with a sample of the goo, before triggering her self-destruct.

SAM YAO: Hold on. You did what? Your "I did everything for the sake of order" schtick is looking a bit dicey now.

COLONEL SAGE: I have made many errors. I expect to pay for them. But for now, if the V-types are following Peter, then they are intelligent enough to prioritize a high-value target over everything else. They wanted to hold Peter, not to bite him, lest they killed him, I suspect. They're probing us. But that intelligence may be their weakness.

PETER LYNNE: You're going to suggest using me as bait, aren't you?

AMELIA SPENS: I mean, it's not a terrible idea.

COLONEL SAGE: It's our only chance. Peter, keep running south. Five, divert to the fungicide store on the shore. Run!

JODY MARSH: All right, I've joined up with Peter's party of refugees. We're heading away from the burn cube site, and no V-types in pursuit.

SAM YAO: Yeah. If they're after Peter, everyone on the rig is safe for now. I mean, if this plan works.

JANINE DE LUCA: It is our best strategy. We have one burn cube left, the one I have on my person. These weapons are unreliable, but if Mr. Lynne funnels the V-types into one area, we may be able to destroy them all.

PETER LYNNE: I'm still running with about a thousand V-types behind me.

JANINE DE LUCA: We will have only one chance to make this work. There is a secluded cave off an inlet further south down the coast. Mr. Lynne, I will meet you and give you the burn cube at the entrance to the inlet. You will plant it in the cave and retreat through the tunnels in the cliff to safety.

COLONEL SAGE: No, I will take the burn cube and meet Peter. It's my responsibility.

JANINE DE LUCA: Very well.

JODY MARSH: This is so dodgy. How do we make sure all the V-types run in the same direction following Peter? What if some take a short cut? We can't afford even one to bite him.

JANINE DE LUCA: Five, this is on you. You are at the fungicide store now. Take two canisters and run to the sprinkler system along the shoreline. Go!

SAM YAO: All right, Five. You're at the sprinkler system. Just open that valve, and pour the fungicide in.

[liquid splashes]

PETER LYNNE: Oh, this had better work. I can see V-types headed up towards the cliffs now. I'll have no escape route if they're waiting there.

SAM YAO: It'll work. Five, turn on the sprinklers. [liquid sprays] There! Oh, that's beautiful, Five! That stuff won't kill the V-types, but they don't like it. They're diverting around the fields. Peter, that'll give you three or four minutes when they can't see you. You can head into the cave, drop the burn cube, and get out of there.

PETER LYNNE: And here's my date for the night! Hello Colonel, and hello burn cube. We must stop meeting like this.

COLONEL SAGE: Peter, you have been very brave.

PETER LYNNE: Well, just can't stop being heroic. Give me the burn cube.

COLONEL SAGE: That's not how this is going to go.

PETER LYNNE: Sorry, but those V-types love me. It's a lot for a boy to bear, but they just can't get enough.

COLONEL SAGE: You're not planning to escape through the cliffs. The burn cube can't just be left in the cave. The safest way is for someone to hold it, to trigger it when the cave is full of zoms. We both know it.

PETER LYNNE: And?

COLONEL SAGE: The V-types are out of sight. Give me your jacket. It's covered in blood from where your finger was wrenched off. It will be enough to fool them for a few moments.

PETER LYNNE: God, can't anyone let me die a bloody hero?

COLONEL SAGE: I think there's another way for you. My drone retrieved Veronica's nanite research for you, Peter. We've had some excellent scientists working on the rig. We have a cure for your immortality. I didn't want to tell you until we were sure, but now we're certain.

PETER LYNNE: You... you did that... for me?

COLONEL SAGE: Yes. And I will do this for you, too. Jump into the sea. I will take the burn cube. You're not the only one who wants to die a hero. And you... you are the proof that I was right. Chaos can become order. It has happened in you. [zombies groan] There's no time to argue now, Peter. Go to the rig. Become a human again. Live a good life. Let me undo what I have done.

PETER LYNNE: I... I – I don't know how to thank you.

[water splashes]

SAM YAO: Five, Peter's dived into the sea. Sage has the burn cube, and – yes! The V-types are following him into the cave. Get out of there. Head for the rig. Janine's coming to meet you. Now, go!

COLONEL SAGE: Are they all here? Sam, is it time?

SAM YAO: The last V-type is in the cave.

COLONEL SAGE: They're searching the cave for me. They can smell the blood. This is my time. It's good to... to put this thing right. I believe the best parts of my work will live on.

JANINE DE LUCA: Thank you, Colonel. This is the right choice.

[device arms, explosion, water rushes]

PETER LYNNE: I'm, uh... I'm on the shore. The side of the cliff has melted off and fallen into the sea. I'll – I'll come onto the rig in a moment, Five. He did it for me. To save me. I... I never thought that that was something anyone would do. To go in – in my place. I...

JANINE DE LUCA: He did it for himself, too. To expiate what he had begun. The V-type horde Jones summoned is destroyed. Any remaining V-types will be little threat for now.

PETER LYNNE: So all we have to do now is find Jones, and this is over.

[engine rumbles]

SAM YAO: Uh, guys. The rig. It's moving. It's heading out to sea.

PETER LYNNE: Oh God, I can't reach it in time.

[speaker squeals]

JONES: Abel runners, I've had time to think this over, and I understand what I'm meant to do. You're all dead now. I know where the sample of the indestructible zombie is. I'm going to infect everyone on this rig with it. You destroyed order. Now have chaos!

#zombies run #zrs7 #s7m39 #come together #zr transcript #zrs7 spoilers

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storytaeme · 7 years ago

Text

my wish list – taegi

Taehyung received the perfect Christmas miracle when he won a giveaway from his favorite camboy, sugar_d, who was willing to fulfill his wish list.

taegi week 2017 – taehyung x yoongi

❅ Prompt: Wish List

❅ Elements: Smut | Camboy AU ↪ smut includes fingering, dildo, and camsex

❅ Word Count: 4,271 words

❅ A/N: Un-proofread lmao cause MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! it is still the 24th somewhere so i made it :’) anyway this is a quick smut, hope u like it!

Congratulations, kimchifriend! You have been selected as the winner of sugar_d’s holiday giveaway. Please respond promptly to this message if you are available next Thursday at 9PM KST for the appointment. Otherwise, I’ll be selecting a new winner. I hope you can make it, sugar!

Taehyung had never won a single thing in his entire life. All the shitty lotteries he’s joined in college, whether it be mini-mart scratch-offs or useful prizes during club events, all his raffle tickets seem to lead him to a dead end. Now, Taehyung might be a little reckless, but he only invested in things he truly, truly liked.

Like sugar_d’s regular show which costed him a good chunk of his paycheck but was worthwhile considering how relaxed he felt after every viewing. Sure, it included a fuck ton of wrist jerking on his side, but whatever it took to get him off, he would do it. Graduating college and being on a full-time job that paid generously yet took up a great portion of his daily life meant that he could barely find time to unwind and, you know, get his sex life back on track. Porn helped sometimes, but the huge dicks and forced moans had begun to wear out.

Hoseok was the one that led him to stumble upon this man’s show. It was sort of funny really. Taehyung had been cynical of the whole concept, had laughed at Hoseok for paying monthly to watch people get themselves off in front of a camera.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

While Hoseok subscribed to the standard plan of his favorite camgirl, Taehyung had unconsciously clicked the premium button in his moment of weakness with trembling knees. He hadn’t even considered dropping the subscription anytime soon.

So, every Wednesday after work and Sunday after doing the usual house chores, Taehyung would whip off his sweats, settle back comfortably on his bed, and prop open his laptop. Then he could beat himself off, slick sounds bouncing off the four walls without a care.

When sugar_d announced that he would be having a giveaway, Taehyung knew that the chances of him winning were slim to none. It was a charity thing—the more you donated to him, the higher the chances of winning. Taehyung had bought one balloon raffle on the site since he didn’t have the heart or rationality to purchase more. He had his own bills to pay after all. One balloon raffle against the millions of others. The odds smacked him in the face.

However, that was what startled him about the email. For so long, he stared at the words printed on the screen, scanning over every line and curve and wondering if this was some sort of prank. Did he really—

In his moment of crisis of deciding whether he should reply and risk his dignity, another message popped up.

sugar_d: hey there! i know the site sent you an automated message but figured i’d send you a personal one to wish you a congrats for winning my giveaway!

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

Taehyung let out a holler which prompted Jeongguk just a few feet away from him to jump. “Fuck, Guk, I won something. I actually won something!”

“Uh, congrats?” Jeongguk looked at him, puzzled, and returned to his game.

With trembling, excited fingers, he typed in his response, mouthing the words to himself to make sure that it sounded right.

kimchifriend: hOLY SHIT!!!! thank you so much??? i’ve never won anything in my life but this is like the goddamn lottery ty @Jesus

The typing bubble appeared for a little while, disappearing, then reappearing. Taehyung wondered if that had been too much of a response for something as small as a camboy private show giveaway. While waiting, he quickly clicked the confirm button to accept his gift and the notification celebrated his win with confetti on his screen.

sugar_d: pffft, sorry, i was laughing too hard to type. but i’m glad you think so! i see that you’ve confirmed. i’ll send you a list of things i won’t do, and so please don’t request any of those. if you want me to prepare things ahead of time, do send me your list! it’ll be a two-hour long show so buckle up, big boy

Taehyung was going to nut so good.

When the day arrived, he had managed to kick Jeongguk out of the apartment for a good two hours so he could comfortably relax without the risk of Jeongguk walking in on him with his meat in his hand. Not that they hadn’t seen each other’s dicks before, it just seemed safer to avoid any strange possibility of sexual tension between roommates.

sugar_d, who usually went by Suga, had given him a Skype account to add days ago, throwing in a kiss emoji that shot an arrow right through his poor, little heart. Taehyung had worked on adding him, but despite all that he knew about the science of the body and nature (biology major problems), he wasn’t the best at handling technology. Thus, when the time came that Suga called him on the program, he clicked the accept button and—

Holy fuck, his poor dick.

As requested, the guy was all dressed up in the prettiest babydoll that Taehyung had purchased for him. It was white to complement his milky skin with pink lace trimming. The skirt fell halfway down his thighs to continue to the stretch of his thin legs. He was kneeling on the bed, hands placed elegantly over his creamy thighs. His hair was a little messy, looked fucked out before they even began. His lips—fuck, they were glistening tantalizingly.

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself, pushing his face closer to his screen as if he could get a better look that way.

The chuckle that followed from the man on the other side had Taehyung’s dick twitching. “Hello, baby.” Taehyung wanted to cry. “I thought you wanted to be anonymous, but you’re pretty cute.”

His brows knitted in confusion at that until he searched the screen to find his face in a small corner of it. Oh shit, he forgot to turn off the camera. Taehyung fumbled around, flushing in embarrassment, “Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to be a weirdo or anything, I know you don’t want to see faces. I’m new at this whole Skype thing.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Suga grinned, gummy teeth and crinkly eyes. Taehyung was in love. “I don’t think I’d mind watching you, if you don’t mind that is. I’ve never seen people react live to my shows so it would be a nice change.”

“Y-you want me to keep my cam on?”

Suga smiled, winking, “Only if you want to, baby.”

God, yeah, he definitely wanted to. A small part of him called him pathetic for imagining Suga to be some sort of boyfriend material that he was having camsex with. So sue him, he could let his imagination live if he wanted to. “Yeah,” Taehyung licked his lips, “but I can’t guarantee I won’t have, uh, a reaction.”

“Is it bad that I kind of want to see you play with yourself?” Suga’s pearly whites caught his bottom teeth, eyes looking up softly at the screen.

Taehyung felt all the blood rush south to press his hardening dick against the seam of his sweats. He wished he had put on something more attractive but he had on a ratty university tshirt and a pair of worn-out sweats. He hadn’t been expecting to be putting on a show for Suga in the first place. “I’m—shit, I’m really hard right now just from hearing you talk.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Suga laughed, “so just to confirm your small list here, which by the way, I was expecting to be longer and more extreme.” He dangled a sheet of paper in front of the camera that printed down everything Taehyung had asked for. Taehyung hadn’t gotten the chance to get down and dirty with anyone with full-blown kinks so he wasn’t quite sure what to throw into the list. “I’m kind of grateful you kept it simple.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung replied sheepishly, “I wasn’t expecting to win so I just… didn’t think this thoroughly.”

Suga grinned again, leaning forward to give a close up of his pretty face. God, Taehyung was so, so in love. “Don’t worry, baby, your list is perfect. It’s everything I can do so I can make sure that I give you the perfect show.”

“I think anything you decide to do will be perfect,” Taehyung blurted out then proceeded to blush. Why was he trying to do smooth pick up lines? Taehyung wasn’t smooth pick up lines. He was smooth and suave hidden in a full package of awkward and clumsy.

The man paused on screen, his face flattening to an expression akin to surprise. “That’s cute,” he finally said, amusement lacing his voice. “So, baby, are you going to play with me?”

Taehyung swallowed thickly and ignored the sudden throbbing in his pants. “C-can I?”

“Mhm,” Suga hummed and began to tease the thin strap of his little dress. “Show me what you got.” Taehyung inhaled sharply and nodded, pushing his laptop back a little and pulling down his pants. When Suga laughed, he looked up in alarm. “You’re not much of a tease, are you?”

“No, sorry,” he laughed, “more of a direct kill kind of guy.”

Suga grins, letting the straps drape around his arms. “I like it, it’s refreshing. Now come up, baby, let me see your cock.”

Taehyung nodded and sat back against the pillows, laptop in between his legs so his cock could be seen.

“Wow,” he let out a whistle, lips curling into a slow lazy smirk. “You’re so hung, God, bet you’d fill me up so good. Your cock is so thick.” The man licked his lips, which in turn had Taehyung squeezing his shaft to stop himself from jerking it hard and fast.

“Y-you think so?”

“One of the thickest I’ve seen, baby,” Suga drawls, slowly hiking the skirt up his thighs. Taehyung’s lips parted as his eyes focused on the tantalizing skin being exposed bit by bit. It was almost hypnotizing the way his small fingers drew the fabric upwards, higher and higher until Taehyung could see the hint of another layer of clothing covering his privates.

Taehyung wished that he could be there, catch that fabric between his teeth and tug it up himself. It was a tempting offer and Suga seemed very keen after seeing his dick—but then again, that was the way he worked. He teased, pulled and pushed, until all his viewers were tossing online money in his direction. Suga was one of the big pullers in the site, raking in thousands with one go that allowed him to purchase more toys and lingerie to please his audience. Other times, he survived on donations for pretty things that he could use during the show, like roleplay outfits and pretty panties.

He was the best crowd pleaser.

Even then as he let the hem fall over his thighs again, all Taehyung could do was miserably throw his head back and let out a pained moan. Suga giggled, a cute lilted tease, “Don’t you make the sexiest sound? You sound like this every time you get hot and bothered, baby?”

“Mmph,” Taehyung whined, “yeah, always like this.”

“Why don’t you boss me around? You know I like a man with authority.” Suga bit his plump bottom lip and coyly twirled his finger around the string of his dress. This was what Taehyung had placed on his list. Fuck.

Taehyung took a deep breath, fingers tightening around his dick, “Slip that thing off, doll. Take it off for me.”

Suga nodded and tugged the thin silk up. It looked so smooth and neat, sliding up his skin all too easily before finally lifting up to his stomach. His stomach was soft and pudgy, a cute thing that added to his innocence. However, that certainly wasn’t the aspect of him that caught Taehyung’s eye. His cock, hard and leaking, was peeking off the top of his panties. A pair of cotton white ones.

Holy shit. Taehyung could practically feel his eyes roll back as he uncapped his lube and drizzled it all over his cock.

“Sorry, baby,” Suga said, looking far from apologetic, “I played with myself a little earlier. Got myself a little messy.” As if to make his point, he pressed his index finger against the tip of his cock and raised it up, letting a string of precum that connected his digit to his length stretch. Even in the shitty connection, Taehyung could see the line. His lips parted almost instinctively, tongue practically salivating for it.

“I-I can help you with that,” Taehyung gulped, eyes still glued on how fucking fantastic Suga looked with with the panties pressing his cock up against his stomach. It was such a pretty little thing. Although he had never seen the man live, Suga’s cock looked much, much smaller compared to Taehyung’s. Not that it was a bad thing. Taehyung most definitely could work with it and might even have a thing for smaller cocks. There was something almost endearing, almost taboo about the size that had his mouth watering and throat drying.

The man looked up at him from his lashes as he nudged his hips forward a little. The action creating a friction that dragged his panties back slightly, tightening it around his hips. Fuck, what a sight. “Yeah? You think so, baby?”

“Yeah, sugar, I can try,” Taehyung rasped, gritting his teeth as he worked his cock slower. He couldn’t go too fast. If he came quickly, it would be so, so embarrassing. “How about you turn around and pull those panties up more, hm? Want to see it in your ass, doll.”

Suga squirmed and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Turning around, he slowly bent over, taking his time to allow Taehyung the opportunity to appreciate that unblemished ass. Christ, if he were there, he would’ve wanted to imprint his handprint on that snowy skin, would’ve nibbled on the skin until the back of his thighs were littered with purples and blues. The pretty boy gave a small shudder when he tugged the fabric up between his cheeks, grazing it over his tight hole. He even went as far as to push it aside and give Taehyung a glimpse of that puckered opening.

Taehyung’s tongue absentmindedly poked out as if seeking out that opening. God, he wanted to eat that ass. “Y-you’re so gorgeous,” he stammered nervously, wrist still flicking to stroke his cock. “Get your lube, doll, I want to see you open yourself up for me. Can you do that?”

The man didn’t even blink before he quickly reached for his lube and drenched his fingers in it. He rubbed his fingers together before arching his back more, sticking his ass towards the screen. Fuck. Then his fingers ghosted over the entrance, his body shivering at the coolness of the gel as he teased the rim with a single finger. Taehyung moaned painfully and circled his fingers around his cock, stopping his level of libido that was climbing much too fast.

“D-do you think I’m pretty?” Suga asked, throwing a sultry, sweet look over his shoulder. It was both adorable and sexy, the combination lethal when Taehyung was already biting his knuckle to hold back his sounds of pleasure.

“You’re fucking beautiful, pretty,” Taehyung breathed, the oxygen barely making it into his lungs. The world seemed to crumble around him in this heavenly bliss when Suga finally pushed a finger in—one miserable finger. The hole tightened around his finger, sucking it in. Fuck, his ass must be so, so tight. Taehyung could imagine how his tongue would feel inside there. He could probably stroke every inch of his wall and swirl the muscle around and have the man writhing underneath him within minutes. It was torturous to see Suga dance a finger around the rim, dipping it every once in a while but never fully fingering himself. “Come on, doll, don’t tease me like this,” Taehyung protested weakly.

He’d be lying if it wasn’t doing wonders to his dick. Suga finally showed some semblance of mercy when he slipped a finger in and then added another. The blonde pressed his face deeper into the sheets, letting out a curse when he started to slide his digits in and out. Taehyung wished he could record this moment, how fucking incredible he looked. His fingers seemed to be swallowed in, vacuumed into the thick skin. It wasn’t long before Suga was shuddering, fingers stuttering in his ass. Taehyung watched him curl his fingers inside of himself, the tips of his fingers scraping his insides.

“Fuck, fuck, you look so good like that, sugar,” Taehyung choked, eyes slamming shut as he pushed away the urge to fucking come. He wasn’t even halfway done and Taehyung was already on the edge. “B-but I don’t want to come like this. Turn around for me again, on your knees.”

Suga whimpered but did as was told. And—fuck, Taehyung didn’t think it could get any better. However, the contrast between the purity of the pair of panties against the tip of his reddened cock, dripping with come rolling down and staining his underwear, might just be the death of him. What a wonderful death that would be.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung clenched his jaw, “how are you so beautiful, doll? God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty. So fuckin’ sexy and sweet. Whoever’s fucking you must be having the time of their life. Bet they get to enjoy that tight ass whenever they want.”

“N-nobody—” Suga’s breath hitched “—nobody’s fucking me right now. I just play with myself, it gets a little lonely.”

Taehyung’s lip quivered. Christ, this man really was going to end him. “Nobody, doll? God, you’re so pretty you deserve to be fucked good every night.”

“Wish I had that,” Suga moaned.

“Bounce on your fingers for me, doll. Fuck yourself like how you’d imagine me fucking you,” Taehyung instructed in a grunt. Suga followed his orders religiously, lifting his body up and dropping back down. His lips parted every time he sank down on his fingers, the long digits slipping inside and generating electricity that coursed through him. Taehyung drank in the sight, memorized every inch of Suga’s smooth skin coated with a sheen layer of sweat that was barely visible in the camera. It was pretty nonetheless to see him glisten from time to time underneath the lights.

“Hnng, fuck that feels so good, so tight—aah, I c-can feel it,” Suga whined, finding the rhythm to his movements and exerting enough source to build up the bubbling pleasure inside of him. Taehyung himself could feel flame lick up his skin, setting his entire body alight with thrill at the sight of the pretty boy. “Fuck, w-want your cock inside me instead,” he groaned, head lolling back as he relished in the utter deliciousness of the sensations.

Taehyung cooed, pupils dilating as his gaze traced over the man’s lithe frame, “You’re so pretty, doll. Look at your cock dripping so wet for me, what a good boy.” Suga let out a small, satisfied whimper at that. “God, what a gorgeous thing you are. I bet you’re always like this, hm? Always so wet for any guy who gives you a little attention?”

Suga’s body tensed up and an apology was already hanging on the tip of his tongue but the man was already releasing a loud moan from his lips. Whines that had fire igniting in every inch of his body escaped his throat, had Taehyung shifting himself and fucking his hand faster.

“Y-you have your toy, sugar?” Taehyung choked, eyes still wide to take in every bit of Suga. “Do you have a cock there with you to fill you up?”

The boy nodded quietly, face scrunched up as if he was deeply hurt. Taehyung was on the same boat, he supposed. The incessant throbbing of his cock was beginning to hurt and all he wanted was that sweet release. But he wanted to make the most of his time with Suga while he could, even if that meant he had t to endure a major case of temporary blue balls.

When Suga finally pulled out the object, Taehyung could already feel the come rising in his dick. Holy shit. The thing was thick and tan, might even rival Taehyung’s. It was the perfect size and, without being instructed to do so, Suga stuck the silicone into his mouth.

“F-fuck,” Taehyung cursed under his breath, moving forward to get stare at Suga better as he took the toy deep into his mouth. His tongue swirled around the tip, he spat on it so he could move his fingers along the length. His eyes squeezed shut as he shoved it deep into his throat, nearly gagging on it. It really was such a pretty sight. Suga sucked on the thing like his entire life depended on it, taking almost the whole thing into his mouth and stroking the rest. Taehyung’s cock twitch with his imagining that it was his own length that Suga was swallowing. “Baby, please,” he begged pitifully, “please just—shit, just fuck it. I can’t—I don’t think I’ll last any longer.”

While before Taehyung felt in complete control of the situation, able to tell Suga exactly what he wanted, he was left a pleading mess in his hands at that moment. It was everything he could ever picture and more. He’s seen Suga take things into his mouth before—popsicles, lollipops, dildos, you name it—but it was different when he was doing it in a one-on-one show with a toy that looked almost identical to his dick. It was intimate, a private moment shared between the two. It really wasn’t fair to his dick nor his heart.

Suga, fortunately enough for the sake of his aching member, grinned wickedly and agreed. “How do you want me, baby?”

“On your back, lie on your back,” Taehyung panted desperately, twisting his fingers around his tender length. The friction provided some relief but it wasn’t enough, it really wasn’t. He wanted to see Suga come undone before him, needed it to reach the full extent of his climax.

The blonde laid down and slid his panties off, flicking them aside carelessly. Taehyung could only watch as he slowly pushed the toy inside of him. Every inch that fit into him provoked a whine or a squeak. He observed not so quietly as moans of his own tumbled from his lips. He jerked his cock, tugged it, squeezed it. Suga pushed the makeshift cock inside of him, nudging his hips so he could move it in tempo with his hand.

He kept fucking himself over and over, the cock had him whimpering on the bed, cock dripping a mess all over his sheets. Taehyung couldn’t breath, his breath choking up in his chest at the sight. His brain was going all haywire as he tried to control what remained of his self-restraint.

“Fuck, just like that, doll,” Taehyung grunted, thrusting his hips up. He could practically taste sex in the air, painting the picture of his cock sliding into the pretty boy in his mind. “Fuck yourself all good for me. Make yourself feel good. You’re so fuckin’ pretty, holy fuck.”

“Mm, hnnng, just like t-that,” Suga stammered to himself, pushing his body down against the dildo. “F-feels so good, wish it was actually you—shit, aaah—wish it was you fucking into me right now.”

“Me too, doll, me too,” Taehyung breathed, “fuck, I’m gonna come. M’gonna come so hard for you.”

Suga’s lips parted as he adjusted his position so he could see Taehyung. “Do it, baby, wanna see you spill all over your fingers. I want to see you—”

Before he could even finish, Taehyung was already pouring all over his hands, his wrists that had grown tired slowly doing to milk the last of his orgasm. It was a deliriously incredible high, a peak that had him muffling his groans into his voice. Taehyung let his head hit the back of his bed with a thump. “A-are you going to come with me, doll? Why don’t you do it? I-I wanna see you all over your hands, over your sheets, wanna know how fucking good it feels to get fucked like that.”

With a few more strokes, Suga was coming all over his stomach, panties still pushed aside and ripped at that point. It was a gorgeous sight and Taehyung swore that he could hear angels singing in the background.

“T-that was a good session,” Suga muttered afterwards, crinkling his nose as he wiped off the remnants of his desire from his body.

“Yeah,” he agreed, clearing his throat. His hand was still sticky but he couldn’t be bothered to move to clean himself up. He was feeling thoroughly fucked out without even doing the fucking. “Happy holidays, I guess.”

Suga snorted, “Happy holidays.”

sugar_d: hey, I know this is kind of weird but you wanna do that again sometime? Free of charge

sugar_d: just that i had a good time last time

kimchifriend: um??? Dude yes???? I mean im gonna keep subscribing to ur shit but a private show with you im always down

sugar_d: great :)

sugar_d: the name’s yoongi btw

kimchifriend: nice to meet ya, im tae

#bts #taehyung #yoongi #taegi #taegi smut #bts smut #taegi scenarios #taegi fanfic #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #taegi17 #HAHAH I STILL HAVE TO WRITE VMIN BRB

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