#it feels like the one time ive ever seen a character thats meant to be that level of relatable done well and actually feel. relatable

[cleverpaws]

ive always admired how amazing a satire of corporate genloss is ngl. they were onto something with squiggles and i wish more people talked about it

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

what kind of cratures do you think the trigun gang would be?

CREATURES IN GENERAL OR SEA CREATURES. BECAUSE MY FRIEND MONTY N I WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT TRIGUN FURSONAS THE OTHER DAY. but i am the sea creature guy at heart so im gonns give u those i hope that is ok 😌 there are many benefits to being a marine biologist.

Vash: he is... so very shark coded to me. everyone looks at him and sees a dangerous killing machine. frequently covered in scars. do u see the connection here. he is specifically a thresher shark to me because of the whole sharpshooter thing and also the sad sad puppydog eyes 💙

Wolfwood: i am torn between two different types of eels for him. giant morays are more aesthetically pleasing but personally i have to go with a wolf eel both for the name and because ive worked with these guys before and theyre sooooo cool so im biased

Meryl: not technically a sea creature because she is just so bird coded to me. White-Tailed Tropicbird

Milly: is it cheating to have two cephalopods on this list. because i think i really want to say giant pacific octopus for milly. either that or a whale shark 💙 yes those are two completely different animals no i will not be taking criticism at this time

bonus Knives because i love him and i feel the most strongly about this one:

BOBTAIL SQUID.

... and also a bristle worm . for what i hope are obvious reasons

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Talking about Saiki and SA here a bit, btw, just a warning~

Thinking about how you said Saiki was a victim of SA and you’re literally so right. I feel like people sometimes just blow right past the fact that Kusuke is like that with his brother, but I think it can add a lot to interpretations of his character. But even if it only goes as far as what is shown in canon — which I almost doubt — it still remains the fact that Kusuke is doing all of that knowing fully well that his brother can hear him. It’s literally sexual harassment.

People point it out more often with Teruhashi and her brother (back to the reasons you said, people think it’s more serious if it happens to women). But the things he does, that’s all sexual harassment. And yet when Kusuke does similar things, it’s often brushed aside. Just,,, a bit crazy to me.

(And that’s not even mentioning when people completely disregard this part of Teruhashi’s story and act like she’s one-dimensional,,, but that’s another story)

But all this to say you’re literally so right. Anyways love you mwah =^•w•^=

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I NEEDD PEOPLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MORE.

(heed the sa warning + abuse and incest warning before opening, i talk a LOT here.. im mostly just reiterating what happens directly in the manga though.. ALSO EXTREMELY LONG POST WARNING..)

I always viewed kokomi and makoto + kusuo and kusuke as like.. paralleling each other ? not sure if thats the right word, but IMMEDIATELY when i saw both of these dynamics i made the connection.. i guess since it was so clear to me, i assumed that it was so obvious and on purpose that everyone else knew too, but so many people just.. ignore it..

i think most people that read/watch saiki k have recognized the fact that most main characters are meant to parallel or relate to saiki in at least some way, (if anyone who doesnt know what im talking about is reading this, im sure at least someone on here has done a better breakdown on that, i just.. dont know where to find that..) but this particular connection is one i dont see often and i genuinely believe that its almost entirely because of the whole "sexual assault/harassment isnt as serious when it happens to men as when it happens to women" thing.. most of the fandom acknowledge that what makoto does is awful and kokomi is a victim, so why is it different when its kusuke and kusuo ??

its EXACTLY the same.. what we see on screen with the saikis is WORSE, actually.. and what WE see from these two relationships isnt the full extent of what the two victims experience off screen, and i strongly believe that its heavily implied that both kokomi and kusuo have been through much worse with their brothers than whats shown..

we have no idea what kusuke couldve done BEFORE moving away and creating the telepathy canceler (and dont say that he couldnt have done anything cuz they were kids, cocsa [child on child sa] is still a thing and still valid, ESPECIALLY since they were both kid geniuses and kusuke definitely KNEW better.. but yea, kusuo implies that hes been like that for a long time, way before we ever saw them, sooo..) and its highly likely that whatever happened that we didnt see, before or after the move, was WORSE than what he does ON screen (i honestly dont want to think about what a guy with an incestual obsession with his brother does with cameras everywhere in his brothers home..) and what we see him do is already insane..

literally using his brother to get off, manipulating him and forcing him to play the games that give him sexual pleasure.. actually, speaking of, ive seen some people say that what kusuke does isnt really incest because the only reason he uses kusuo is because hes a masochist and kusuo is the only person that can overpower him.. this is a total misfire LOL, his upbringing alongside kusuo and his relationship with him is the REASON that hes a masochist, the ENTIRE REASON why thats what he gets off to.. its not just CONVENIENT that kusuo is there to get him off, he SPECIFICALLY seeks kusuo out and forces him to do things that give him sexual pleasure.. he believes that kusuo is the only person in the world that can ever give him sexual pleasure, what about that doesnt sound incestuous?

and one of the worst parts of it is, kusuo BARELY acknowledges how weird it is.. in fact, he's COMPLACENT in a lot of the games, obedient even, being bribed into them the same way he does with simple things like bringing kuniharu to work.. this is the biggest reason why i believe the off-screen stuff is probably worse, because kusuo is obviously conditioned to think that letting your brother get off to you is just.. fine.. we hardly see him try to get away from this situation beyond simply calling him gross.. theres one moment during the cat tank situation where kusuke tries to get him to grab the limiter off of his crotch specifically so that he can see him in that position and kusuo looks terrified and cant do it, BUT its unclear whether the expression of fear was entirely his concentration because he didnt wanna break the limiter or because he didnt want to let his brother get off to that, and i think its mostly the former ? idk, i dont remember this part that well but im preeeetty sure..

he does acknowledge that MAKOTOS behavior is bad when he sees it, but he never thinks its a big enough deal that he needs to help her or anything, (except for maybe the okinawa situation) which i know is probably just for the sake of not letting the gag manga get too serious, BUT it can also be explained pretty easily by this whole thing.. the way kokomi is treated is literally the same way kusuo lives his life, even down to their incestuous brother being possessive to the point of berating their potential love interests.. (which in this case happened to be each other, kusuo and kokomi..)

so yeah, kusuo just. doesnt really know how bad it actually is ? or maybe he does, but doesnt acknowledge it because he doesnt WANT to.. him barely acknowledging it and being complacent is part of why some people dont really get that its sa and incest, but his complacency obviously plays a big part in how its effected him too, like thats purposeful.. like i said, hes been CONDITIONED not to acknowledge it..

to me, it looks like a classic situation in which kusuo doesn't acknowledge his trauma because he knows that if he did, it would change his outlook on his life, his family, and his childhood FOREVER. he would never be willing to tell anyone or ask for help on his own accord, and accepting that there was anything wrong in the first place means, to him, dealing with that issue by himself for the rest of his life.

why would he ever admit that anything was wrong if nothing would change either way? the only thing that WOULD change is HIM, and why would he want that? isnt it better to be blissfully unaware than to knowingly suffer in silence?

plus, he genuinely does love his brother and knows in the back of his mind that kusukes feelings toward him comes from their unhealthy upbringing and relationship and its more complex than just "hes an evil guy blah blah.." because he isnt really evil and kusuo KNOWS that.. actually, he might be the only person in the world who COULD understand..

so yeahhhh.. kokomi and kusuo are both CANONICALLY victims of sexual harassment.. (and incestual abuse at that..) and, by my interpretation, implied victims of sa as well !! (im not really sure where the line can be when it comes to this sometimes, like when your brother sniffs your bedsheets and rubs himself on them or gets off to you right in front of your face or tries to get you to grab something positioned over his crotch so he can see you in.. THAT position.. but i already said that its pretty likely that both brothers have gone farther than that off-screen..)

anywayyyy.. this is so important to me and i wish people would talk and write about it more instead of pretending it never happened and mischaracterizing every one of these characters, especially for the sake of a ship like i was talking about in my other post.. it sucks that people so often just cast kusuos canon issues aside..

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/739064506502791168/fandom-problem-4499-i-think-sometimes-people-get

Thing is op

People like to use "coded" as an excuse to harrass others over a fictional character

"this character is minor-coded therefor if you like them or draw them sexy then you are a pedo"

"this character is gay-coded so if you ship them qith the opposite gender your homophobic"

"this character is autism-coded so if you dont see them that way you are ableist."

"this character is poc coded and if you dont portray them that way then you are racist"

And then they go and rip people to shreds over it. And most of the time they are actually "coded" as anything.

Ill give you a good example as to why coding should just fucking die in fandom.

In transformers (all of them afaik) there is a sentient ROBOT named Jazz. He is often voiced by a black voice actor, even in the early days of Generation 1 in 1984. Though it changes a few times Jazz is well known for his accented voice. Jazz (the music) is also known to be pioneered by black people.

In a way jazz is black coded. He is designed with all these elements related to black people.

The thing is. Jazz is a fucking robot. "Jazz" is the name he chose for himself because his cybertronian name does not translate or cannot be spoken by humans. Jazz is also a type of music he only heard when he arrived on earth and is something he loves, hence why he chose the name. He chooses to express himself in such a way because its what he enjoys.

It does not mean he is black. A white person can do all that because they have a love for jazz music. It isnt going to make them "black coded"

He is also again, a robot. Not human. Not even organic.

However of all the problems ive seen in the TF fandom the one about whether you should draw a human version of Jazz as black or white is probably the one thats sets people who give a shit off the most.

It doesn't matter what characteristics a character has. It doesnt matter if Jazz is drawn as black or white. Cuz he isn't human. Its literally up to fan interpretation and none of them are wrong but people want to shit fling, and react hostile over others not drawing him as black anyway.

Same could be said about a certain more popular pink skinned character (who is also human and japanese but when have people ever viewed japanese people as important.)

You can have your queer coded villains. Doesn't actually say they are queer. Hell in the past it would be done as a way to demonize queerness and traits. But queer people still loved those villains because they could relate to their tragedies.

What "coding" actually is, is a part of the design process to add depth and character. It's an inspiration born from reality. But it's not always that the character is meant to be that thing.

Theres a character from genshin impact i could say is "DID-coded" because when she falls alseep or is so stressed she passes out there is another version of her that takes her place that she doesnt know about.

In the same vein theres the game "At Dead of Night" (recommend it, its a horror game) where the main antagonist is possessed and murders people. They even had to put a disclaimer that the character didnt have DID and the game wasnt made to demonize people with DID or portray them as unstable serial killers. However despite the creators saying that, fans still "DID-code" the antagonist, not out of hatred for people with DID but because some people with DID still relate to the character. Not so much the killing people but the struggle the antagonist has with "being possessed". Having DID can be a frustrating and tiring experience and not many cope with it very well even when they do no harm. Feeling of loss of control is very relatable even without DID.

Regardless the rampant "coding everything trend" in fandom has caused a new "ship war" like wave of harrassment. If you dont view a character this was your a horrible person and you deserve *insert graphic content and threats of harm and suibaiting and more*

coding can be a cool thing to discover while analyzing a character or even creating one. But its become hated with good reason because people have no reason left in them. Coding is a cool way of adding depth and nuance to a character and would actually REALLY help beginners with their "bland" characters. Unfortunately even thats discouraged, since it can be seen as "baiting" or "stereotyping" and sometimes appropriating culture. (But a giant sentient robot making his entire personality about jazz music isn't? Lol)

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

[haemosexuality]

thoughts on the fionna and cake ending

-it was a bit boring. ok not Boring just, not on the same level as all the other eps? especially not on the same level as the previous two (the star+jerry). like it was more of a Cake the Cat ep. it was fine just not world shattering and thats fine ig

-that being said the casper&nova scenes were sooooo boring i couldnt care less. it kinda made me feel like they wanted to show shermy and beth but didnt know how so they just made up whatever??? it wouldve been cool to see more of future Ooo instead of. whatever that was. they couldve made the parallel to simon and betty some other way. or even if they absolutely Needed to show thay weird video game they couldve made it like one scene and shorter lol. tho the detail of it had being astrid that started the story was cute

-i actually liked the resolution to betty and simons relationship. again they couldve shown More of it instead of it just having like, one scene, but i liked how they did it. getting them back together in a fairytail Everything Works Out And Theyre Happy Ever After!!!! wouldve completely taken away from how tragic their entire story is, but making something even worse happen wouldve just made simon feel worse and his character development wouldnt.... exist much lol. having simon come to terms with it, SEND HIM TO THERAPY THANK FUCK and try to move on w his life is exactly what i was hoping for

and i looooove how they portrayed their relationship. ive seen ppl be mad ab it but like didnt yall like that is was codependent and insane and they were obsessed w each other to the point theyd destroy their life for one another? OBVIOUSLY its going to be unhealthy. thats not saying simon is a bad person, or that they didnt love each other. they obviously did. simon loved betty more than anything. but he was selfish. unintentionally, yeah, he didnt realize how dependent/obsessed she was with him and that she just went along with anything he did which i dont feel its his fault, but it still happened, and it still affected her, it made her get deeper into that. its a new spin on their relationship that feels really real and i really like that. yeah turns out that when ppl are so obsessed w someone that they go insane and almost destroy the world twice thats probably indicative thay theres something wrong there who wouldve thought!!!!

adventure time is The "people have flaws" show (bonnie, marcy, finn, jake, etc etc all the characters are shown to be selfish sometimes snd to varying degrees! and theyre all still good people! theyre still just people) so it feels a bit insane to see ppl acting like the show saying "simon too btw" means theyre portraying him as irredemably bad

-i didnt want the fionna world to completely change and go back to bein magic but i was at least hoping the characters world :( like a "modern with magic" situation it wouldve been cool. and the farm/baby/vampworld characters coming in felt a bit random but like eh sure whatever

-IM SO PISSED FIONNA DIDNT LOSE HER ARM

-i dont think the lack of resolution in all the universes we visited was a bad thing? like i dont even feel like its "lack or resolution" i just felt like. thats how the stories were meant to be told. we come into a world that has nothing to do with us and then we leave them behind, yk? its not our world so we just pass by and dont know how it ends. leave it up to imagination. i thought it was cool we dont need to know Everything

-we shouldve seen marcy and simon interacting when he got back. even if it was just like a interaction without dialogue in some sort of epilogue sequence theyre so incredibly important to each others story and the show even made sure to show us that and we get nothing????? the lack of a scene where he talks to her about how hes feeling and how he almost put on the crown again felt so!! FRUSTATING. the scene in ep two where he calls her even felt like it was setting up for a scene like that! im so mad we got nothing. like i understand the adventure time market is flooded with marceline so maybe they didnt want to focus on her much but still theyre too linked for that relationship to get completely ignored in the Last Fucking Episode of the show

-the implication of fern/phoebe made me pause the episode and stare at a wall for a moment. auaugh.

-SO NO MARSHALL SONG?? *THROWS LAPTOP AT A WALL*

-WHY DID THEY DO NOTHING WITH FIONNA AND CAKE GLITCHING STUFF????? WHY EVEN SET THAT UP IF IT GOES NOWHERE UGHH

-im glad they finally made the lich a bit more interesting instead of Ooh spooky guy is evil

-simon getting therapy from minervabot was awesome 10/10

-once again saying im mad they let fionna keep both her arms. BOOOOOOO 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

[davekat-sucks]

i think the part I hold dearest to my heart is just rose and john talking together in the very beginning, their back and forth made me understand what the word "chemistry" meant between characters.

TT: You're wearing one of your disguises now, aren't you?

TT: You are typing to me right now while wearing something ridiculous.

EB: no, why would you even think that??

EB: that's so stupid.

And of course he was wearing something ridiculous. It was just so simply charming, how she knew him so well and how he was so goofy about it. I fell in love with their dynamic and friendship right then and there, and they've never disappointed me ever since, all their convos were really good. Dave and Jade just added more greateness as time went on too.

Besides that, I liked the felt intermission, cascade, the introduction of the planets, the ancestors, the classpects, i don't know. many things, it really was so unique, and its a pity that homestuck could have become a pioneer of a new genre of media if it ended well, like you could have people being inspired by it and copy what worked, but instead webcomics are pretty much dead in general, and it all fell apart so hard that now most people regret having ever read it and I can't in good concience say that I don't feel the same way. fuck even viz regrets buying the ip lol

So maybe thats the worst part to me, that plus collide, vriskagram, keeping the beta kids separated, the awful meteor scenes, shit the alpha kids plotline in general, it really ruined everything. which is a shame because i do like their characters individually.

Also fuck calliope, she was a mary sue and boring as hell. i wanted her to be the main antagonist alongside caliborn, not a waste of my time. that ending flash was the shittiest ending ive ever seen, it pissed me off so bad.

[lizaluvsthis]

What got you to start drawing the boys do you take requests? Cause I like the cafe au

IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY ON WHAT IM BOUT TO S-

When I said I've been a SMG4 fan for 4 years, I left the channel for i dunno how many weeks or months has it been. Then one day I saw WOTFI 2023 recommended in my youtube page and was.

"Wotfi 2023? But I thought- wait- who are these characters again?"

Turns out I forgot that Ive only seen SMG4 and SMG3's (cocomelon ass) designs during wotfi 2022 where it was both of their first redesigns from the movie. I stopped watching for a bit cuz I got busy.

Then I came back to see they were both redesigned in a better version now. Now that I thought about "where was their second redesign then?"

So I knew that I had to binge watch every single episodes from smg4's channel right after wotfi 2022

I then saw how much Three has changed ever since after the 2022th christmas episode.

If I were to be honest, watching igbp for the first time in my life even Mar10 day. I was about 85% sure that Smg3 worries too much for Smg4's sake.

They both are cosmically linked and three can feel what the other of his partner is feeling soooooo?

*circles both of my hands*

Three's gay. He looked fruity he felt fruity. During the movie and during right after he helped four's ass to get his channel back from running again.

It suddenly gave me some time for my brain to tell me "DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS COULD BE A HINT- THIS IS MAYBE AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS!" I responded to my brain like- HELL YEAH I'M NOTING THAT DOWN.

Cuz I cant just sit here and just "watch the movie without sayin nothin" I HAD to do something AND make analysis about it because thats what I do when I notice simple details!

So when smg3 confessed those feelings of his to Smg4 and even running to save his life back again and even after saying "we're friends!" This gave me a bit of a shock. Three. Did you know what you did? Did you realize how much it meant for smg4? Did you FORGET- that you said you and him werent friends during the 2020th wotfi?

So then after all of this time... that means smg3 has been the one and always a tsundere to smg4

Even after the castle disappeared, him and three's chemistry started going into an actual progress from both of their chemistry from the relationship.

Thats a dedication for me right there. I do it not only for fun, I do it for my wants, have, and needs.

I know its funny for a minor like me to do all of this dedicaded in just a simple job, I have all kinds of specialities to include my works and skills and use them for this fandom again from how I did to the past ones. (But those past fandoms are dead-)

Ahem- what was I talking about again? Oh right- 3 and 4... sorry got a little bit too chatty-

So I noticed even more about Smg3's notebook and was like- "gahd damn- three had his own personal notebook this whole time?! Whats even inside of it? I'm curious..." so yeah-

Now jumping to where I watched 2023 of wotfi again (twice now) to see its context about it- I was flabberGHASTED in after the "drawing" and also the mysterious tv guy whose also appearing on as the final antagonist in the modern era and a new one from the new era.

"Holysht. This is about to go bonkers for the fans making up stuff about those 'what-ifs' that smg4 made from the previous video back then. (The part where waluigi won or desti being alive)

I'm curious enough to see what happens and even if its about tv adware. Yes too.

(THERE. In November I started to become quite more invested from the fandom and decided to drop in my luggage and load out all of my junks called Info-Analysis?)

So- hello! (Again-) :D it was a pleasure meeting every and one of you all- I stopped in just to come back from the fandom that I never made commentary about but now I can ^^

I started with doodling and knowing basic anatomy and shapes of SMG3 and SMG4's design (the new one) so that I could start on doodling about them. But what I didnt expect for myself is that I had created a long time chapter of "Indigo Secret" that wasn't supposed to be there on purpose.

It was just supposed to be a "silly" comic about it from where ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■ about the problem and then the part in this that came into ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ from ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

*BEEP*

I took myself a big motive after my blog gained 10+ followers and more notes. I thought working here 24/7 would make me feel something more for destiny and the trip!

So- yeah. Work. :) even when I'm at school I also complete my assignments and all of the shts and after that I can continue on with continuing the pages and with some cute doodles with the boys from a scenario playing through my head.

Now you have me making all of this and that ^^

Thats whay I'm popular for :)

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2nd answer...

Thank you for liking the cafe au! It means so much to the both for me and shay from the collab to move on!

I did say from my boundaries I take free art request 1 at a time only- and I could allow a second art request if I do have the time ^^

Yes I do take art request :)

(Except for-

oc-shipping with SMG3/SMG4 cuz they're both together in the au

NSFW

Some stuff that I can't approve on-)

Ask away :)

Thanks for asking me stuffs anon I really enjoy talking ^^

[doyouevenshipbr0]

incoming hot take/rant about natsu and his romantic pairings and his understanding of love

gonna say something thats gonna get me in trouble

natsu has more objectively romantic moments (and i would even dare to say romantic chemistry) with lisanna than lucy.

now, with that being said, i like n*lu more than i like n*li (i do still like n*li tho. dont know why pol hate it sm. its cute!). but like. on a romantic level, natsu has veryyyyy little moments w lucy. he has way more emotional, powerful, and deep moments with lucy. but they’re not romantic.

but as its been shown especially in 100 yq, natsu doesnt really have a grasp on romantic love. he doesn’t get flustered or blush around lucy (for the most part), he doesn’t understand that lucy clearly has romantic feelings for him, and i think the most obvious piece of evidence of this is in 100 yq when that lady (please forgive me i rly have a hard time keeping up w all the villains) cast that spell that made snow dolls out of “the woman held closest in ur heart” or whatever. for gray, just juvia appeared. for natsu, literally every girl in ft appeared.

i just feel like even in the very small moments natsu and lisanna have, and as insignificant as they are in recent ft, natsu always seems a little nervous/shy. at least in old ft. now, its also very obvious that these moments of awkward natsu who may or may not have a crush on lisanna are waaaaaay less frequent now. but in the very beginning of ft when we first learn ab lisanna was literally the most romantic interaction ive seen natsu have with anyone. and i would argue this is the most romantic interaction his character has EVER had. in the whole series.

now, im not an idiot. i know nalu will be end game. as they should be!!! they have arguably the strongest bond of literally anyone in the whole show. u cannot deny their insane compatibility and how they just make sense! i also know that natsu loves lucy more than ANYONE (ok maybe other than happy. theyre prob tied). but i think natsu doesn’t differentiate this from romantic love. YET.

i think something will definitely go down where natsu has this huge revelation that he not only loves lucy but is IN love with her.

but for right now, the most romantic interest natsu has expressed with another person is lisanna. im standing by that.

there should also be something said for the fact i feel like mashima dumbed natsu down over the years???? like in the beginning he was playful, optimistic, brash, and fun loving. i think he is still all of these things but mashima has steadily made natsu less and less understanding of social queues and more socially unaware. idk if that makes sense.

^but i feel like if u asked ep 1 natsu the difference between love and romantic love, he would be able to tell u. now, i dont think he understands the difference. i do think this will change, but for rn thats how i see it.

anyways blah blah blah. to end this senseless rant, lisanna should have stayed dead. bringing her back to life was one of the DUMBEST things ft ever did. not even bc i like n*lu better than n*li. but bc the significance that lisanna had for natsu and what she meant for his character completelyyyyy went away. his childhood gf came back from the dead and he literally could not give less of a fuck about her now lmao. its so bizarre.

ok dont hate me byeeeeee

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 3

Propaganda why Caillou is insufferable:

Horrible, whiny, mean (I know they're like three but that's no excuse)

He's the absolute worst bratty child I've ever seen in a kids show, his voice is suuuper annoying.

You know and I know why, he's the poll's icon for a reason.

More propaganda

Propaganda why Alex Eagleston is insufferable:

literally causes the end of the world by being The Absolute Worst and has done so multiple times including his alternate selves. he technically has three (and a half) love interests (cause theyre the only characters he can/attempt to kiss or express any attraction to) and he treats them all poorly first three vella sammy and essentia 2000 are cause hes a misogynist but they all get different flavors of it sammy gets fridged for the plot of the game and is basically never relevant again outside of a secret(?) ending. shes also based off of a real life dead person for no fucking reason. vella is subjected to weird speculation about her age in her introduction scene with alex saying something along the lines of she cant be older than him cause shes too pretty (alex is like 24 and vella 27 from what i recall its been a few years since ive thought about yiik) and has a weird internal monologue about his feminist ex girlfriend prompted by vella just existing. theres a weird scene when alex asks her if shes korean n says she looks vaguely ethnic making her uncomfortable. One Of His Alternate Selves Literally Caused Her To Leave Her Home Dimension Cause Of How Poorly He Treated Her and the context behind that is that to leave the world/timeline/dimension/whatever you're originally from you basically have to be super suicidal and he pushed her to that point by ghosting her for a while and next time vella saw him he was hooking up with a girl noticably younger than her (<- remember this) and immediately after being told this he can attempt to kiss her which has no actual repercussions. essentia 2000 is like technically supposed to be evil i guess but her goal is supposed to be killing alex so i cant fault her on that. the in game day after they first meet alex has like a monologue about how special and attractive she is ""she was like water filling all my cracks"" or some shit. all three girls are alternates of eachother and are on a sliding scale of how objectified they are by alex with who got it the worst depending on which aspect you're focusing on. other sort of love interest is rory (diversity loss!) who alex can attempt to kiss after he confides in him about something when rory is like 18-19 (hes meant to be about the same age as michael whos recently graduated high school) and depending on how alex treats him can literally kill himself and alex's reaction to learning this is to only focus on how terrible he feels before moving on n rory's death never being mentioned again. the whole point of the game is that alex is a piece of shit who cant even buy groceries for his mom without throwing a hissy fit about it but it undermines itself constantly by having characters forgive or just stop being mad at alex on a dime after hes been exceedingly shitty towards them in various ways and any sort of charm or endearing traits he had quickly wearing off due to him never shutting the fuck up. near the end of the game all the other party members are killed off in quick succession leaving alex by himself and all he can do is sulk in self pity before going on a space adventure or whatever to stop an alternate him thats linked to an alternate essentia and enlisting the player as a different alternate him to help fight various superficial flaws of himself (which arent even like the actual things that make him insufferable n a bad person) n then finish the job for him. i need to punt him into the sun

He constantly goes on annoying monologues about things that nobody cares about. In game he is meant to be kind of an asshole, but they never give him the necessary character development to make him feel like a proper flawed protagonist, yet the narrative makes him out to be a character who is ""deep down a good guy"". Also he doesn't seem to care about any of his friends/party members.

The game intends to paint Alex as a bad person, but this is implemented in such a snide and uninteresting manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

He has no idea what's going on, blindly following the plot with the vague motivation of being suddenly stricken with affection for a girl he basically called a freak as soon as he met her five minutes ago. He is self-absorbed, lazy and overconfident, constantly bemoaning and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. He is the only character given enough breathing space to have something to him, and yet manages to not even feel any sort of dimensional.

Also his shirt is an ad for the dev's last game.

An incel who always screams about everything and yet is overly pretentious about everything.

[hella1975]

Hi hella!!!

I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)

I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory.  But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it 

(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it.  If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said.  Bc idk how accurate this will be)

SO

Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)

 (im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))

Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories.  Theres the simple ones and the complex ones.  Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.  

An example of the ‘simple’ ones is  

““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)

You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write.  I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before.  Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly.  I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in.  Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm.  Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.  

Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’ 

An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’ 

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.  

OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ

AND THIS IS WHY

When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it.  Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’  

But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.  

I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this.  And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.  

But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song.  Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.  

I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.  

I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.  

And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that.  Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion).  Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3.  And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing.  I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’.  And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.  

And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire.  (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.  

(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)

Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny.  But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person.  .😂

Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen. 

Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord.  I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.  

Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.

LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN

[elisedonut]

Piggybacking off all the omegaverse asks you've gotten recently, do you have any favorite scenarios or tropes with it? Or any ships or dynamics you really like in omegaverse aus?

👀

Hello I know I do seem to be getting quite a few lately and im not complaining about it very fun though i do worry im running out of things to say dkjaflksfj

For me at least I like Omega verse for alot of the same reasons i like soulmate aus but like different

so like the appeal of being able to smash characters together and go there ok now kiss!

One of my favorite concepts atm is like forced mating

i don't (unless its more fun for the scenario) tend to go for the whole one partner ever method much but i do like the idea that a mating bite still does something like it still takes a while to heal (months at least) and can affect your brain at least a little bit

Like they'll feel distressed when apart, get more agitated about other people they disapprove of being too close, lots of feeling like they need to keep the others scent on their skin

type of thing

and then depending on the scenario it is also fun when it's a really dramatic one and done thing where this action by a third party just completely fucked their life plans up a bit

like with soulmate aus I don't understand at all why Marriage would even be a thing that works how it does irl especially in worlds mating bites are a perm thing

idk my biggest omegaverse pet peeve is when it may as well just be two normal people and nothing about the situation is different

like I've said before that its a very dubcon type of trope and i think it honestly should be like your body is acting in ways you don't necessarily want and all you can do is hope the people around you have better control of themselves then you do in that moment

taking that away from it just always kind of makes me like yeah yeah sure

like i get it you don't want to deal with the more icky aspects of it so you make the heat subdue, you make it have no noticeable effect on those around them, you make the Alpha always strong enough to fight themself enough to say no. To fight back because they would never want to hurt them

but like idk i think i just don't see the point personally

like i think it can be done well when its very clear just how hard the alpha in question is fighting but a lot of the ones like this I've seen just kinda missed the mark to me

and Ofc everyone should always write things how ever they want but thats just my thoughts on it

that's also why I prefer worlds that include both Omegas having heats AND Alphas having ruts and think its the most fun when both sides have it equally as bad even if it's in like different ways

I also really like the concept of how good someone smells to you being like a sign of your compatibility

Im trying to think of new ones because I know ive answered a similar thing recently

oh I know i keep mentioning breastfeeding but im going to do it again because i read one fic in different fandom where it was a big part of the plot and im kind of !!! about it

I think Percy should feed Harry. Again not as a sexual thing

Maybe a few years post war it could turn sexual but it doesn't like have to but you know i still love situations and relationships that were meant to be platonic that get twisted as time goes on so like id be ok with it if it did

i just think it would be fun and it would be good for Harry give the boy some motherly styled affection that he was denied so much he deserves it ( i think this concept works well with any Harry ship where the other person could be an omega tbh i'm just Percy centric so)

like i want him to be making "I want to feed" noises during that first summer at the burrow even though at his age he really shouldn't be doing that as much and he doesn't even know why he's doing it or what it means while Percy's sitting there almost panicked over a cub in distress it's because hes malnourished

meanwhile Molly's just like "Oh would you please just feed the poor dear" she feels so bad for him but as a beta who's youngest child is already weaned she's past her feeding stage or she would just do it herself

I know pup is more common in omegaverse stuff when talking like kids that haven't presented yet but i like cub a lot too i think its cuter then pup tbh but i do switch back and forth alot

let's see

Oh! there is one concept iv'e thought about a few times that actually would need Percy to be an Alpha

(or just a non Omegaverse fic with a pregnancy potion which is actually the way i do typically think about it but im running out of things to say and it technically can fit an Omegaverse au so im using it)

where as another way to fuck with Lucius/ punish the Malfoy's for Lucius' fuck up more someone higher in Voldemort's circles (normally Bellatrix in my head because that helps it make sense in my head like yeah shes doing this for that reason but the idea can from a talk with Narcissa about grandchildren so in her crazy way she's like 'it's a perfect opportunity') decides to get Draco knocked up by someone who's undesirable enough to be a problem/disgraceful but not enough where it really 'ruins the pure blood ness' of the child

the kid would never be an actual Malfoy heir but that wasn't the point in the first place kinda thing a living reminder of sorts

so in other words a blood traitor because ive said before but i don't see how being a blood traitor would matter that much its still a pure blood and if said parent were to never be allowed to help raise said child then it really doesn't even matter and Lucius would be pissed and Draco would be a little disgusted so it's perfect

so yeah in an Omegaverse scenario i guess they would just lock them in the same room together and see if it works with plans to kill Percy after it does

but in the main way i think about it Bella forces him to drink the potion (which both parties have to drink) and Imperios him to go to Percy where ever he may be(because i flip flop on where actually this happens) and seduce him(and make him drink his half of the potion) and then they do bang but Draco is able to warn him of what's happening so they actually get to escape and in my head at least Percy panics and contacts Charlie so the end up going to Romania because since in the haze of the potion effecting him and Draco warning him without thinking he would actually do anything they are rightfully assuming the DE's will probably try to kill Draco if he went back so he can't which i imagine would be a bit more difficult in a heat based scenario

but!

you can play with the idea of like true mates in a heat based scenario where that luck of being true mates kept Percy from being killed because Bellatrix wouldnt want her nephew to like outright die (which we are going to say is what would happen)

but now instead he's practically a prisoner so still in a bad situation

another concept i used to think about alot is an asshole teacher holding an Alpha's face up against a very near/ currently in heat Percy's neck in this scenario mating bites are one and done thing though so if said Alpha breaks they will be tied together forever

normally its Snape but it's been Remus or Lockhart a few times in my head too though never did anything with it because while i really like the concept it doesn't fit any of the available characters very well and feels kind of ooc without figuring out their motivations (well i mean ig Lockhart could just a voyeur now that i think about it, the best i could come up with for Remus was knowing he was Percy's like true mate and he's trying to run by practically pushing Percy into someone else's arms, Snape just being a bitch though idk his motives are they pissed him off idk)

to me like i think the best teacher for it would be actually Barty as Moody i don't even think it would need an explanation tbh just ah yeah he would.

but that doesn't work as well with Percy because i can't see him being around the school after graduating when his heats about to hit i mean unless it was all planned ig Barty jr. could plan that sort of thing I've made him plan worse things regarding Percy in my head so i think it could work but even then its a wobbly maybe like a heat accelerant where Percy though he was in the clear for a good few weeks just to be hit with 'oh no-'

who would the alpha be idk its normally someone strong enough to carry him though because they're trying to get him to one of the emergency heat room before he gets swarmed or something

so probably a quidditch player or something

uhh

Ok i think I've taken long enough to answer this so there you go!

[mbat]

i dont know how to say it in a way that people wouldnt somehow still find an issue with but i think so much about how one of my main OCs currently is a goblin from world of warcraft, and i purposefully gave her features that people would say are offensive, and yeah they are in most contexts, but idk...

like, in the game theyre from, its definitely offensive. the entire goblin species in that game is, as far as ive seen, very one-note. they think only of money, and very much dont care about what it takes to get it, including carelessly killing other people (even other goblins) just for a quick buck. ive only ever seen one goblin who doesnt fit this description, and its no surprise to me that that goblin was only from a recent expansion. as a jewish person, and honestly as a person who thinks antisemitism fucking sucks in general, it doesnt feel great! i clearly like this game, but that doesnt erase the fact that a whole race in it is a walking antisemitic stereotype, and how it makes me cringe every. single. time.

and well, goblins are almost always like that. big nosed, money obsessed, conniving, and occasionally they even still love to eat children (coughs in the direction of the most recent season of doctor who). even the least bad depiction ive seen of goblins so far, being the ones from 'tell me why', theyre described as 'crafty' and are thieves, though theyre based on the main characters so its more of a playful thing, yet it still reminds me of certain things.

these traits are also often pointed out to be antisemitic even in non-goblin characters, which is of course fair, like the villagers and golems in minecraft. the villagers are big-nosed, and they used to be the only creatures with a concept of money, especially considering that money was the green gem in the game. not to mention, golems ARE LITERALLY JEWISH FOLKLORE! golems are from jewish myth! clay soldiers created to protect the jewish people from threat... its not hard to make the connection.

theres thing to say about the non-physical traits, but theyre not necessarily my point.

so... what is my point? and what about my OC? why did i give her these physical traits that i know are portrayed as bad and offensive, even though i know why theyre offensive? i couldve easily gone down the route of trying to give her traits that are as far from those as possible, or even have just not made a goblin OC at all.

well... reclamation. the thing is, these traits on their own, theyre not necessarily a bad thing. a hooked nose, green skin, other things that clearly make the character look less human, and therefore lean into the dehumanization of antisemitic depictions. these things together make a caricature, even though on their own theyre just traits.

i just hate that these things that i think are so fun to draw characters with are a bad thing in the right context, but most of all, i hate that a hooked nose is a bad thing in a lot of contexts. real people, especially jewish people, have hooked noses! or the bump seen higher up the nose bridge that adds to the shape thats often seen/depicted! i mean, i look at my own aunt or my grandparents and they have/had those noses.

it sucks that something thats a real, natural thing that my people have, has been taken and treated as an ugly, evil thing. i could get into the same thing many people have about how physical traits being treated as ugly and evil is already a horrible thing, but my point is specifically about this trait, and how it relates to jewish people and antisemitism.

why does this trait have to only be a bad thing? i mean, you dont exactly see it in the mainstream in any context that isnt a villain, i dont even know if i can think of any [animated/drawn] heroes who have big or hooked noses.

i have a few characters with this trait, but theyre either human-ish (an elf) or a bird-like creature, therefore the nose is meant to resemble a beak, or a furry that literally just has that nose because i wanted to give them that trait. then you have my goblin... a goblin based out of world of warcraft.

when i made her a few years ago, i did it out of spite. id already played the game a little bit on my main character (a draenei) and id seen how goblins acted and looked, and how they sounded (i mean, seriously, a new york accent??). and i was genuinely like. 'fuck you blizzard, im going to take your caricatures and make her a person, a fleshed out person whos more than the traits you gave them, and im going to love her for all of the things i give her, because likely no one else will.'

so i did. i gave her a history, i gave her a personality, a future, relationships, i made her a person. im also glad that when i made her, i made her do the starting zone made for beginners where you start on a shipwrecked beach, and they dont really treat you all that different based on race as far as i remember. i later went and made a new goblin to see what the goblin starting zone is like, and it pissed me off so bad... but thats its own conversation.

i made her a person so that the physical traits i gave her were simply traits that she had. i draw her happy and in love because shes a person to me. shes not money obsessed, shes not conniving. shes respected, she cares about people, she isnt sitting around rubbing her hands together plotting in secret.

i just dont want hooked noses to be a bad thing forever. i dont want every picture of a hooked nose to only make people think of the propaganda of the past drawn to disgust people and make people hate my people.

so yeah. i do draw her with a hooked nose, but i dont encourage anyone else to draw her. i dont even have her up on my artfight even though i have my other main world of warcraft character on there, and ive definitely drawn my girl enough that she could probably fill all 6 picture slots. i draw her for me, and i love her for me.

i draw her to take that power away from the hateful depictions. the punch in the gut when i see caricatures. its like when i say faggot and tranny to take away the power of queerphobes. i mean, i still remember the first time i was called a slur, called a tranny. the shock it sent through my body. its not that different from the pain i feel when i see nazi propaganda.

so i do it to take away that pain. to make it mine, and not theirs. thats why. people could see my character and criticize me for it, and thats fair, but i at least want people to know why i do it.

[bunnyloaves]

mean streets posting in 2k23

what if mean streets drove me insane huh,, the streets sure were mean

anYWAYS i somehow liked this more than taxi driver hmm likE man i cannot say no to the most pathetic wet and sopping sad man ive ever seen, hes on the verge of a breakdown in like every scene, he looks like a muppet half the time im legit giggling KJFAHSDF

(how johnny boy is self destructive and uncaring, borderline suicidal with how confrontational he is, like u do not cuss somebody u owe money to in that way if u did not have a death wish for yourself o____o 

and regardless of how much charlie tries to help him out, he just bites the hand that feeds him, and even I felt frustrated with his character by mid film)

i like the religious guilt and christian overtones, makes me kinda sad how johnny is like a charity case for charlie and that sucks for the both of em (it also relates to the opening lines in the movie,, of you only make up for your sins on the streets and not in the church, so yanno thats how charlie atones for whatever religious guilt he’s feeling, helping out this poor guy downtrodden on the streets :(( )

but upon reading thru the tumblr truthers, theres this aspect of charlie’s coddling nature and johnny boy’s rejection of coddling (theres even the question of how earnest that coddling is, cuz when u think about it, it IS self serving, self purifying) back to the rejection, that only puts them both into deeper shit, the more charlie helps, the more johnny boy just retaliates, AND THE NARRATIVE DOOMS THEM, FUCK IM SO UPSET

like they literally cannot make each other better, they only make each other worse wtf, despite the intentions being semi-good

theres also those christian subtext to keep in mind

one (the flames of hell, the matchsticks, the way charlie keeps touching flames thru out the movie (flames are explosive n volatile yadda yadda and so on)) two (the st francis of assisi, not sure what thats meant to represent ngl) three (his christian monologuing tm, likE he’s babbling all about penance n shit when johnny boy walks in, like hello there is no het explanation for that scene wtf scorsese)

ok moving on

like charlie why do u keep vouching for johnny lmaoo, thats so sus n gay, ok moving onto my homo homo truthing

one (the car scene with the gay couple, like o___o uHM johnny boy is literally wearing the same colors as the guy that taunts ppl by asking to suck their dick, and yanno theyre pulled away by their respective partners as well JFASDF like hellO its not even subtext gay, its just textually gay)

two (how johnny boy and teresa wear the same colors, or their color language is the same, which is yellow, and i think that for a movie that uses colors somewhat distinctly, they mUSTVE HAD A REASON FOR THIS, like hello why is johnny boy’s color yellow, the same flamboyant color of the gay dude tm (which imo is self evident flamboyant colors for a flamboyant guy,,, but why is he dressed literally similarly to teresa ASDHFA))

three (the bedroom scene, need i say more, like why r u men in the same bed shuTTUP) 

four (the trash bin scene which was very cute imo like ok look at these baby girls) 

five (the graveyard scene, like ok johnny boy lying on the grave/concrete, like what was going on in charlie’s head at the time hmmm, like maybe just how close johnny could be to being dead and in a grave himself, if it weren’t for his interference siGHS, these men hurt me in ways)

six (the fist fight which was hURTFUL DUDE, HAD ME SOBBING WRITING ABOUT IT, like o___o johnny boy snapping about ‘never hitting him that way again’, then it cuts to him being hit, anD THEN the sudden ‘did i hurt u’, like i am exploding rn,, tHE TENDERNESS WTF, and it just shows how they bring out the worst in each other i cryINGH rn like why does johnny boy just take it, the punches n stuff o___o why is he taking it and latching on :(( )

seven (the red lights entrance scene, im losing my mind liKE HELLO, why is it framed that way?? johnny being his literal penance sOBBING RN)

eight (the rooftop scene, i remember some tumblrina truther out here saying something about how johnny is volatile, like a powder keg, instigating arguments and violence,,, and lets go back to the opening wherein charlie is all like theres two punishments from hell, its the spiritual and physical,, its the flames,, anyways my point is, is that charlie is in the very least drawn to johnny inasmuch as he serves as a means of atonement for him, and johnny biting the hand that essentially sustains him, every step of the way,, lIKE THEY ARE SO DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE PLEASE IM BEGGING)

but there's this mundane sadness to the whole movie and idk its effective AKDJFJF like it legit made me feel for these characs

cinematography wise, i do like it,, like it's obviously wonky being from the 70s n all but it was shot with intent (and a distinct visual style) and i like that

thE MUSIC THO oh my god does it slap,, ngl the music sells the movie for me AKDJFJ,, also why are like half the songs love songs o____o like hELLO care to explain this?

i liked this more than i thought I would, nice job scorsese, maybe this was the goncharov all along :))

[lostxmelody]

Not really a question but i’d just like to express that i’m a huge can of your fic, i’ve read it since chapter 1 and have been sucked in ever since. majority of the 0309 content made by fans often have them terribly mischaracterize making lots of people end up hating the ship instead cause all they think the fans are capable of doing are creating terrible stuff of them and just set a bad impression on the ship even when is just supposed to be a silly pairing cause milgram doesnt run on romance!! T__T including me i used to like (not like it too much) to say the least though i tried to be more open to it cause i was starving on fan content and just went on ahead on ao3 and said “fuck it i’m reading a fic of them” to which i did .. some of the fics are questionable though when i found yours i just knew it would be good from the start. The way you characterized Fuuta and his experience with his crime was just ODBAJhsjsjd /pos. The way you potrayed Mikoto’s social life, ideals and personality is so so close to his canon one if not that its quite exactly the same!! (to how i imagined it atleast) its refreshing to see people characterize him as someone that isnt a ‘big top hottie thats overly flirty and is an asshole and doesnt care about anyone’s feelings’ and the way you really showed and expanded the dynamic they’d have together (in an au) atleast was just well done, you elaborated it well in the fic. most of the people i’ve seen just makes them grumpy x sunshine, etc etc tropes not that its bad but i think they’d have more to if than just that especially with their crimes and ideals involved and how they view life. if you’d open a twitter account i’d totally support you like hell, big time i’d love to hear more about your thoughts on 0309, Mikoto / Milgram in general and maybe give your fic more attention it deserves one way or another <33 chapters are already 8/10 done! i cant believe its nearly done aswell. i’m not huge into shipping but i love the way you write the characters (even the side! Yuno + Mahiru + Shidou’s characterization is so good) pleaase give yourself more credit as a good writer in the milgram fandom!! i know you’re a busy person anyway (you seem like one) though i just wanna say thank you for taking the time to write life’s reflection and the other oneshot you wrote. Take care of yourself :D<333

thank you so much!! i havent delved much into other milgram fanfics, in this case talking specifically about 0309 because i know from past experiences in different fandoms that whenever i did that i'd become so worried about my own characterization that i just ended up dropping the entire idea and never writing it again.

writing a slash pairing the milgram fandom is a bit... i guess probably frowned upon, depending on who you ask. it's not meant to be a shipping scene but where theres a will theres a way lol. ive become really fascinated by their made-up dynamic. mikoto and fuuta have barely any canon interactions and whenever they did-- it was obvious that they don't even like the other. why ship that? well i can't provide an answer for everyone, but for me it's just because i like reading about two broken people healing and why not add a tinge of almost-enemies to lovers in there? lol

its funny you mention a twitter because i did make one about a month ago but immediately abandoned it because i didn't plan on using it... i guess i could though! i just end up overthinking everything i post but it would be nice to engage a little more with like-minded (read: 0309 truthers /hj) people

you can find that here! (barebones rn... but feel free to interact or whatever and i'll make it look better eventually)

thanks again for such a sweet comment!

[caterpillarinacave]

"Send me a character" Henry

Three people actually asked for this one (and the first got eaten) so I'm gonna answer them all here.

Just an fyi this post is very long, please excuse grammar, rambling, spelling ect

favorite thing about them

Man, where do I start? 

Not to be sappy, but as far as characters go he means a lot to me. Ive talked about this before, but I was diagnosed as autistic at ten, after really struggling for a long time. As an autistic, traumatized, kid in my specific childhood situation there wasnt anywhere for me to fit in. I really, genuinely meant well, but I meant so well it was just annoying. For all my trying I could not manage a meaningful connection. Naturally, this made me a very lonely child.

 As all lonley children know, when you have no friends you get to make friends with fictional characters, which I had no problem doing. However, I couldnt actually relate to any of the characters. 

 When it comes to character representation in media I really had never seen a character that I related to, autistic or otherwise. “Normal” characters didnt experience the struggles that were such a big part of my life, and characters portrayed as autistic had no personality outside the autism. They were all either robotic or just children. Personally, as someone who is emotional, bright, and very animated, I couldnt relate at all to the stoic, robotic, characters, and I certainly wasnt relating to an oversized toddler. 

(Frankly, one of the reasons I think Henry is such an excellent rep is because CC didnt go in with the intention of making an autistic character, and therefore didnt fall into the pitfalls non-autistic creators usually do. The issues I have with the characters she intended to be autistic arent applicable to Henry, which I do have some theories about, but thats off topic. )

 I could always find characters I could connect to those around me. There were characters like my mom, like my little sister or older brother. I collected books with characters who had the same name as me, I bought stories set in towns like mine, then abandoned them for the same types of towns but twenty years ago so I could pretend that in some point in time, I might have had friends. 

Yes, I spent a lot of time crying in the corner and reading books under my desk. 

   However, when I read TID it was the first time I had ever, in my life, witnessed a character who I found both extremely relatable and incredibly cool. 

An example that tends to stick with me is this scene:

It might just be a random thing, but frankly it was a pretty big deal to me. The misunderstanding of an “obvious social cue”, the pride in thinking you had read the situation right, a person that you care about being mad at you when you were trying to help them, the “why didnt they just say so?” , the awful feeling when everyone else is looped in on a thing that makes no sense? These are things that I experienced daily, now, but more so when I was young. 

 I’d oftend respond in situations thinking I had it right. I could go over my answer with a fine tooth comb, find no issues with it, only to be met with a negative response because I had violated a rule that I didnt know existed.

 Its a terrible feeling. The people around you are so familiar with the “rules” they dont even realise they have them. They never can tell you what made your response inappropriate in this situation, but normal and fine in another. I spent so much time feeling so stupid, because I just cant figure these rules out. 

The characters I watched that suck at socializing sucked because they were rude, they didnt like people, they didnt want to socailze ect ect ect, as opposed to being genuinely, agonizingly confused. Everyone else I saw, everyone I wanted to be like had this talented, this knowledge, that is abosloutley unubtainble. 

 When I first read that scene I finally saw something that understood that feeling. Sure, it wasnt from Henry’s point of view, but it proved the situation that felt like a special torture just for me was something other people experienced. 

The general hostility from the rest of the shadowhunter world was also something I find somewhat… comforting? For me, even as talented, well adjusted, and promising as I may be, the majority of people still treat me with something from dismal to unease to downright cruelty. 

 Just like Henry could make amazing breakthroughs in science and still be snickered at by the rest of the world, I can make the honor roll, win competitions, excel at everything handed to me, and people still snort, poke, and call me stupid because of “basic” things I cant do. Its inevtible, and something I just cant change. 

 This a character that is interesting, talented, valued in society. He has an actual relationship, with someone he loves, who loves him just as much. He has layers outside of the ASD characterics, varied interests. He does get upset with people, he is passionate, good at multiple things, the lsit goes on and on. 

 And when I say this meant the world to little old me, it meant the world. 

For the first time I was seeing a character I related to, and they werent stupid, mean, or alone. 

 At the moment I’m really trying to learn to not hate myself, and to love my life. Some things wont ever change, and people will likely always treat me differently. However, I am trying to teach myself that ASD Its not a bad thing. I’m not flawed, I can be successful, I can have a social life, I can have a relationship, and theres nothing about me to “fix”. Autism isnt a bad word, my diagnoses are not the end of my life, and I am still a full complete person worthy of love and respect. 

Even when I was younger, and wasnt ready or able to find out how to love myself, or work on stop hating my ASD, I still reread TID again and again because of all the characters in the world I probably look up to Henry the most. 

 The thing is, even though its been years since I read those books, Henry is still the character I go back to to remind myself of those things. 

 This was a character that hated themselves just as much as hate myself, but had managed to move past that. He never “fixed” or “got rid of” the things that were difficult, the rest of the world didnt have a “oh we wont be mean” moment. He dealt with the issues ASD presents, moved past the self doubt, and was still the same character at the end of it all. 

 TID introduced the idea that maybe, just maybe, I could love myself, and I could be happy without destroying the things that made me me. And maybe, just maybe I wasnt as alone as I thought. 

 Over the years I’ve had more than my fair share of health issues, been to many specalists, and have spent my fair share of time holding back tears in a doctors office wondering if this is the end of my life. 

And every time I come home I go back to a character from a goofy, vaguely trashy romance novel that came out in the early 2000s and remind myself that my life is worth it. 

2. Least favorite thing about them

Clearly there's not much I dont like, but the things I do dislike stem back to how CC handles him as a character. He's one of those characters you can tell CC isn't super invested in. Theres massive potential in both him and Charlotte, and I wish that CC would just focus on them a little more. 

  There are so many little lines that allude to something much deeper, something that could be explored if Cassie would just do it. Talk about that romance, talk about the disabilities, talk about the way society treats them both, talk about the falling in love, talk about the disabilities, talk about the relationships with the rest of the TID cast, talk about the disabilites, talk about the grief, talk about the guilt, talk about the war, talk about what happend in the family lines, talk about it all. Oh, and talk about the disabilites Cassie. Do it. 

3. favorite line:

Yeah, this is the part that took my so long to write, I had to hunt around to pick just one. So, since I got three asks, you get three lines. 

“Really, how could we have been so stupid?

Well, I’m not surprised about me,” said Henry. “But honestly Charlotte, you ought to have known better.” - Clockwork Prince

“Youre marrying your fathers friend on the council? Which one?” - Clockwork Princess

“That ba-bad man," he finished, with a quick glance at Cecily who rolled her eyes... -Clockwork Princess

4. brOTP

Oh, Magnus Bane definitely. I feel like people gloss over how much they cared about eachother. Magnus was probably the first person to share any of his interests, and the first not Charlotte person who didnt instantly dismiss him. For Magnus that was the first time he had met a shadowhunter who genuinely thought outside the box. Try as he might it seems like shadowhunters just dont like Henry, whereas downworlds think hes the best. 

OTP

Charlotte and Henry. They invented romance. Relationship goals. Would die for them. 

nOTP

Anyone who isnt Charlotte. 

random headcanon

Since this question has been asked three times you all get three headcanns:

My man is tall. And has upperbody strength. A lot of it. He might be about 0% body fat, but hes got muscle.

Several times Henry was sent to find teen Will and retrieve him from his dangerous stupidity. Will’s attempts at defiance where swiftly nixed when Henry just tossed him over his shoulder and left. 

Jessamine is throwing a tantrum because she doesnt want to be out on patrol, and Will throwing a tantrum because he can? Non-issue, hell carry them both to the carriage. Charlotte said be back at midnight, they will be back at midnight, teen angst be damned.

Literally only gets stronger as he gets older.

(All yall with fucked up bodies know the more your legs dont work the more upper body strength you get. Its only logical. If youve got enough upper body strength and someone to hold onto, you can hold yourself basically upright, which works great until whoeverse holding you gets distracted and stops holding you up. Then your going down the USSR in the 90s.

Yeah, Will and his short little attention span were not the best person to hold onto.)

–

The little kids love him. I mean, come on. He has so many glittery things in his pockets. So much to do. Knows fun stories, knows funny words. Funny hair. He lets them fuck around with his pocket watches. Fun chair. Easy to climb all over. Is not talking about the boring things with some of the adults. Gives great gifts. Happy to listen to you talk, actually remembers what you said. Unbothered by everything. Christophers was clinging to him from two years old on. 

–

He has two scars on his side where the automaton had grabbed him during the battle of Cadair Idris. 

 The Silent Brothers were really busy trying ot keep him from, you know, dying, and didnt really get to it. By the time they would have he was sick of them, took the rune and left the scar. To him its just one of many, many random scars. 

8. unpopular opinion

Cassie dropped the ball big time in TLH with him. 

   She did for most of the TID cast, tbh. She really has to mess with characters to make the TLH storyline make sense, and as much as I do love TLH its hard to enjoy when your going “they would not do that”. Its a pretty good example of how Cassie doesnt care about all her characters equally, and is willing to toss them away in favor of the main cast. For example, she keeps Will (and usually Tessa) very in character. With some work she could have done that with the rest of the TID cast, but she really. Doesnt. 

When you look at it from a TID standpoint its very clear how much she cares about each person, and which one she doesnt really give a shit about anymore. Alas, Henry is on the lower end  of that spectrum, along with a bunch of other characters. Hand them over CC ill give them the love they deserve.  

9. song i associate with them

Once again, got a playlist in the works, but one the one that comes to mind is Zoned Out In My Youth by Unlike Pluto. Also Ed Sheeran is a Henry x Charlotte artist. Just listen to Afterglow. 

10. favorite picture of them

How do I even pick. I spent hours picking. This has been the choice of my life. It has also reminded me we need more fanart of him. Someone with talent should get on that.

Anyway, take two, couldnt pick:

(Excuse me??? They are so cute? Peak romance <3<3<3 pretty hair<3 Anyway the flower pin? The ring? The tie tack/clip? Beautiful stunning amazing I love him<3)

[harmonicunt]

i rly cant see myself as separate from the primordial soup. every flaw i see in others is a reflection of myself, every joy too. every cruelty, all kindness. so many people see themselves as leaning towards one or another, but thats wrong, isnt it ? we're capable of all, in our own particular ways. youll pin yourself & doom growth if you put yourself in one corner.

narratives about who you are are mostly about who you think you are--and the thinking is only one fractal of it. i think ive been afraid of defining myself by the "doing" part of my existence because for so long i didnt feel like the "doing" was anything important or interesting or fulfilling. i didnt have language to show what it was teaching me, what it really meant--it was all isolation, and boredom, and rage. it was that, and it was more, and now that im still doing many of the same things alongside that which i truly want, which i find self respect in, which i am fulfilled through, i can see how i could've used different language to spin it in a different light, to be less lonely and afraid of myself. as my story evolves and changes each time i tell it, as others' stories of me grow (and i learn to listen to them, and trust them), im open to all the ways i hadn't seen before, and i understand how blind we are to who we are in one particular moment. reflection must come second.

thinking & doing are two pillars of our selves, pillars we learn to build and tear down and build again. i'm trying to figure out where our control over those pillars lie. i know there are more--we are more than what we think and what we do--and i know we can change and reshape them, but the first shaping is amazing to begin with. is the first shaping the one everyone else does when we're young, and we don't know how to do it ourselves? or the one we do when we emerge, when we look at how our pillars been formed for us--a necessary evil, unfortunately,--and we decide that it should be something else, something that belongs to us? some people never make their own, and i think many of them are very unfulfilled. each one is unique. the idea you can control it utterly, shape yourself into anything you want, is partially a false narrative, addressed by the fact that at first we have no control over what shape it takes. then, i think almost everyone finds there is an immutable self they can never put a finger on, no matter how long they circle around it. you repaint, and carve in new grooves, and add height or branches. you circle around a self you won't know until you've found them. we have many methods of circling around to the self, of seeing what fits with the pillar we think we want to create, and then adjusting when we realize that's not quite the look we thought it'd be.

i've employed a few strange ones through my life, one of the most curious that i come back to often being kin & kinning. a sort of pinning that often felt like a chicken/egg situation, even while i was in it i found it fascinating. what i was and what i wanted to be and what i thought i would be (i was kinning when i was 12-16ish, so i wasn't much of anything but a ball of energy and wanting) merged together into these grand pulls to characters who werent necessarily favorites but made me fucking insane because of what of myself i saw in them (sometimes it still happens, but it's gotten weirder and more specific as ive aged, and harder to explain or project to others who dont already know me.)

i dont know where im going with this. can we ever know ourselves if we dont know who we are to others ? if we dont listen to what they say about us? it feels bad when someone doesnt take what youve said about them, compliment or criticism or neutral, seriously. people who ignore compliments or use them to insult themselves, and people who ignore criticism and tell themselves that they are the best at something you have been struggling with them for, convincing themselves that the problems they run into are external and eschewing responsibility. how far can we push our own self actualization before collapsing? how happy can we convince ourselves we are, not knowing the joy on the other side ? what tells us that we're miserable in the shape that's been built for us? why do we all seem to forget from time to time that everyone else has been using the same scale of time that we have been to build theirs? why do we flatten them to the pillar we see in one moment, inconsiderate of what came before ? it's self-centered, and that's seen as very dirty, but we can't be anything but self-centered when we're only in our own heads, right ? generosity, consideration, kindness, respect, so much of that is in the eye of the beholder. what we think of as universally decent can make another think of us as deeply annoying, even rude, culturally or personally. idk. we're all the same and we're all different and it's weird and i could add questions and ponderings to this forever but ill stop here. i love you.