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kaleidohscopic · 10 months ago

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SWEET — BBH

PAIRING: baekhyun x female reader SUMMARY: it's one thing to run into the guy you maybe, used to have a little bit of a thing for at your mutual friends' birthday party. it's another thing to find out he maybe, used to have a little bit of a thing for you too. GENRE: friends (ish) to lovers! au, romance, a hint of smut, some pining if you squint WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol consumption, jenkai (humour me), wayyyy too much sexual tension, it gets a little hot and heavy towards the end but nothing super explicit (bc idk how to write that stuff sorry!), general mature content and themes WORD COUNT: 4.4k NOTE: super self-indulgent w barely any plot or characterisation (basically four thousand something words of foreplay lol), i saw that video of baek at one of the lonsdaleite stops unbuttoning his shirt and it drove me a little loopy ngl...

The last time you had seen Byun Baekhyun was two years ago.

Graduation. Gowns. Bouquets. There was probably a photo of the two of you, along with the rest of your cohort, sitting around somewhere in the depths of your camera roll, fresh-faced and eager to take on the exciting new world outside of 3000-word essays and 9 am tutorials. Four years taking variations of the same courses and bitching about the same tutors meant you were far from strangers, but sadly, the friendship had dwindled once you’d left the classrooms for good — something you had been just a little gutted about. These days, his appearances in your life were rare, save for the times he’d come up in conversation with the friends you both shared back in the day, or his sporadic likes on your instagram posts.

Except now, of course, as you watched him climb up the stairs to the rooftop bar, gift bag in one hand and suit jacket in the other.

“Happy birthday!” he beamed, enveloping your best friend in a hug. The fabric of his shirt strained against the movement of his arms, and you caught a whiff of his delicious woody cologne as he approached.

You had known there’d be a possibility he’d show up today. This year, Jennie had made the enlightened decision to throw a joint celebration with her boyfriend, and obviously that entailed inviting all of his friends — which honestly, wasn’t even that many extra heads since Jongin only ever spoke to the same eight people. You’d seen Baekhyun’s name on the guest list that you had helped her put together, and seen it again listed under the ‘going’ tab of the event, but having the real deal in front of you was another experience entirely.

Crisp white button down with the sleeves rolled up, fitted slacks, and just a glimpse of his toned chest peeking out from where the top few of his shirt buttons were undone.

He looked fucking good.

Even better than he did two years ago.

Jennie squeezed him back with just as much fervour. “So glad you could make it! Jongin’s been stuck to my side all night with no one to talk to, he’s going to be so happy you’re here.”

He pulled back with a chuckle, and it was then that he finally laid eyes on you, seated next to the birthday girl, holding matching martinis, and doing your best not to look like you had been shamelessly checking him out for the entire 45 seconds since he had arrived. His eyes widened slightly with recognition as your name left his mouth.

“You haven’t forgotten each other, right?” Jennie laughed. The descent of his eyes down the length of you was quick, but not careless, and heat flared in your body all the same. When his gaze returned back to your face, the beginnings of an appreciative smile were shaping the curve of his mouth.

“Not yet, I hope,” he answered her, but his eyes were still on you. “Nice seeing you again. You look good.”

“So do you, Baekhyun,” you replied, because it was the truth. His smile only grew.

Jennie tipped back the rest of her martini and bade the both of you a hasty farewell, saying something about fixing up the photo zone as she hurried towards the other end of the rooftop. A few of the girls, too excited about the open bar, had knocked the cushions onto the ground, and were doing a poor job of rearranging them back on the wooden swing.

He slid into her now-vacant seat, elbows resting on the bar counter, giving you an excellent view of the shape of his forearms and the veins that adorned it.

“You’re not going to have that?” he asked, nodding at the sad little olive that sat all alone at the bottom of your empty glass.

“Not a fan of the saltiness,” you answered, and offered it to him. You watched as he plucked the garnish stick out of your fingers and put the olive in his mouth with no hesitation, eyes lingering a little too long on the movement of his throat as he swallowed it. “I like sweet things better.”

“Yeah, I remember,” he chuckled. “You used to only ever drink vodka cranberries.”

Suddenly, you were twenty-one again, peering through the cafe window and getting a little too giddy at the thought of meeting up outside of the stuffy tutorial classroom to work on the project you had both been assigned to. You’d be lying through your teeth if you said that a crush on Baekhyun was something you never entertained throughout your four years of university together. And maybe it had been reciprocated, for the briefest of times, just after that joint presentation on data structures, where the thought of stepping over from friendly more-than-acquaintances into something more had crossed your mind enough times for you to lose count. There had been something there, or at the very least a hint of something, in the nights spent crammed into a tiny library booth meant only for one person, poring over stale and tedious papers on algorithm organisations in each other’s company.

But nothing had happened. He hadn’t made a move, and neither had you, laden with the fear of rejection that was so indicative of youth. And maybe that had been a huge misplay on your part, because a few weeks after wrapping up the project that had brought you together, he was at your faculty’s monthly pub crawl, introducing you to his new girlfriend, who had actually asked him out just the day before.

Safe to say that had been the end of that. You were not the type to homewreck.

“How long has it been? I feel like I haven’t seen you since — god, it must have been graduation?”

“Something like that,” you replied through a smile. “I still have the photos on my phone.”

“So do I,” he said, flashing you a boyish grin. Then, as if doubting the accuracy of his own words, he promptly pulled out his phone and began scrolling towards the top, brows furrowed with determination. It was a few seconds later that he found what he was looking for, turning the screen towards you with a triumphant noise.

The picture had been taken outside the ceremony hall, set against the familiar sea of graduation gowns, but that was the only familiar thing about it. In the foreground stood just you and Baekhyun, not stiffly posing for the camera as you had been in all of the group shots that existed on your phone, but turned towards each other, faces bursting with elated smiles. Neither of you looked to be aware that there was even a camera on you. The you in the photo had your mouth half open in the tell-tale way it always did when you were about to laugh at the ridiculously corny jokes he loved to crack. His eyes were crinkled at the corners, partially from the glare of the sun overhead — the weather had been phenomenal for the usual gloominess of May — and partially in delight at your reaction, having cracked said joke.

“I’ve never seen this one before. Did you forget to Airdrop this to me on the day?” you asked, a joking accusation colouring your voice.

“My mum only sent it to me a whole month later. I didn’t even know she had taken these,” he said, zooming in to better see the expressions on your upturned faces. “We look so happy here,” he added, voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia.

“And young,” you agreed, but not without a sigh. The you of two years ago had yet to know the pains of having seven different bills to pay every month, and watching the money trickle out of your bank account like water from a leaking tap.

He gave you a gentle, teasing nudge with his elbow. “We’re not that old now. We could definitely still pass as twenty somethings.”

“That’s probably because we are still actually twenty somethings,” you countered with a laugh.

There was an unprecedented ease with which you fell into conversation with Baekhyun. Despite the considerable gap of silence between now and the last time you had seen him, there was nothing in his demeanour or your own that indicated just how much time had passed. It was rather comforting to see a face from your university days, and even better that that face was still as gorgeous as ever.

You watched as he flicked through a few more photos from the day, mostly of him and his friends from university — one of whom was the other main event of tonight — until he landed on a picture of him with his girlfriend. You recognised the photo, seeing as you had been the one who offered to take it. He had an arm around her waist while she carried a huge bouquet with a teddy bear sitting atop the arrangement.

“Didn’t I help you order that thing?” you asked, pointing to the flowers in her hand. He hummed in agreement, but didn’t say much else, scrolling through to the next photos with his parents, which had also been taken by you. They stood on either side of him, beaming with pride, and then there were a few after that with his girlfriend as well, the four of them all standing together and looking picture-perfect.

Perhaps the you of today would have chosen differently, found the balls to ask him out first — because what was the use in sitting and waiting around for the guy to make the first move? — and maybe you’d be the one in the photo instead, smiling up at the camera, an integral part of the family portrait. Maybe he’d be running his fingers across the inner curve of your wrist, instead of along the rim of the gin and tonic he had just ordered.

“She couldn’t make it today? Or was she not invited?” you asked, having not seen anyone walk in behind him. Although you hadn’t been paying much attention to anything else since he arrived, and if she had been here, you doubted she’d be all too pleased with how close your heads were, even if he was just showing you through his camera roll. With that in mind, you drew back slightly, just enough to catch the expression on his face twisted with an odd sort of surprise.

After a second or so, it melted into an easy-going grin.

“We broke up a while ago. A month or two after graduation, actually.”

Oh.

You and your big mouth.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know — I shouldn’t have —”

“Don’t be, it’s fine,” he reassured, waving off your clumsy apologies. “Things just didn’t work out and we weren’t right for each other. It was a pretty amicable break, all things considered. But now, I get to sleep however I want in my own bed, so I really can’t complain,” he added, fishing another laugh out of you.

“Nothing beats starfishing in your sleep after a long day,” you hummed in agreement. Wednesday nights in your bedroom after a full day of client meetings could attest to that.

Baekhyun took a slow sip, pulling the drink into his mouth with a contemplative carefulness, and weighed up his words before he spoke again.

“What about you? Still with Jinyoung?” he asked, tone light and regarding you with curious eyes. Without meaning to, you let out a groan, and his left eyebrow quirked with interest.

“Don’t even go there,” you half-grimaced, reminded of the fling you had towards the end of fourth year with the business major. He was pretty, and had been nice enough, but by the fifth time he blew off spending time with you so that he could track the world stock indexes, it had become pretty clear that the two of you were on different paths in life. The sex was okay, but it had not been enough to warrant any more than a few late night rendezvous. For all you knew, he was probably now a very successful investment banker with 90 hour work weeks and making a shit-load of money you could only dream about having.

You sighed, drumming your fingers against the counter. “Let’s just say, he was more interested in looking at his dividend yields than he was in me.”

Baekhyun’s gaze flickered over the rest of you again, taking in the ridges of your collarbone and the soft curve of your waist, the touch of his eyes hovering above your skin like a tangible thing. You tried your best to look unaffected, forcing yourself to remain still under the weight of his stare despite the way it was melting you down to your bones.

“He definitely did not have his priorities in order,” he said, once his eyes ended their journey and returned back to your face. “You’re much nicer to look at.”

His words settled beneath your skin, pulling a sweet warmth to your cheeks that slowly radiated through the rest of your body. You watched as his mouth curved around the rim of his glass again, and followed the path of the drink down the length of his throat.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me.”

He rewarded you with a sly smile.

“Then maybe you don’t know any better.”

Christ. Those were definitely bedroom eyes.

Your lips parted again, though you had little idea as to the words which were preparing to come out of them. Forming coherent and decent thoughts proved to be a great struggle when he looked like he was undressing you with his eyes. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and you swore you could have crumpled right then and there if it hadn’t been for the bar stool underneath you.

“Baekhyun, you’re finally here,” said a giggly Jongin, suddenly appearing between the two of you with Jennie in tow.

The tension from seconds earlier dissipated as quickly as it had formed.

Someone (the birthday boy) had evidently made good use of the open bar to shed the self-imposed shell that came with introversion before the arrival of his friend. “I’m so, so happy to see you. We need to do some shots right now,” he said, now all serious, leaning over to peer at the drinks menu that he himself had signed off on.

Baekhyun was the first to break eye contact, turning to flash Jongin a fond smile. “Sounds like the best idea you’ve ever had,” he said, before downing the rest of his gin and tonic.

The birthday girl requested tequila shots, and the bartender was quick to supply, lining up four glasses and filling them with the clear alcohol that was a recurring character in all your worst hangover episodes. You passed them around, but not before turning back around to the bar for one more thing.

“And a vodka cranberry, please,” you added, catching the amused smile Baekhyun threw your way.

“For old time’s sake.”

It was approaching the early hours of the morning when the remainder of the party retired to the hotel suite Jennie had booked for the night. One of her chill, moody, late-night R&B playlists had been queued up and was playing softly on the speaker system in the living room — she had a playlist for every conceivable mood and situation — and you could just make out the melody of a Daniel Caesar song, quiet and soothing against the nighttime.

“Okay, you win,” Baekhyun conceded with amusement, sitting up to grab the soju bottle from your outstretched hand. “I’ve never had someone throw up on me, at least not on the first date.” He settled back against the pillows, bringing the bottle to his lips to take a small, slow sip.

“Thanks, but it’s a victory I’d rather not have. There’s no pride in knowing I’m the only person I know to have a guy spew all over my shoes within ten minutes of meeting me,” you said, leaning back and letting your hands sink into the plush comforter.

Some thirty or so minutes ago, you had found yourself in one of the smaller rooms of the suite, sitting across from Baekhyun with nothing but a few inches of egyptian cotton separating you. All night, you had felt his presence, whether it was the light brush of his warm fingers across the bare skin of your shoulder to grab your attention, or the weight of his stare from across the rooftop bar while you posed for pictures with Jennie and the rest of the girls. He had infiltrated your senses, occupying his own little space in the corner of your consciousness. Right now, having the whole of him so unobstructed before you, being the sole focus of his attention within the four walls of this small room — it was obvious that the alcohol wasn’t the only thing bringing a heady warmth to your face.

He levelled you with a careful look, and instead of handing the bottle back to you as he had done for the last thirty minutes, he set it onto the nightstand beside the bed with a soft clink. You raised a quizzical eyebrow at him.

“I think you should probably slow down,” he said, catching the curious tilt of your head. “Wouldn’t want you to do something you regret.”

You let a coy smile turn the corners of your mouth upward, shifting your weight off your hands and leaning towards him ever so slightly. “Trust me, I know my limits,” you said, and moved to grab the bottle.

The hand you placed on the top of his thigh to steady yourself as you reached over him was deliberate, and you failed to hide the deepening of your smile when you felt the muscles flex beneath your fingers. You also didn’t miss the dip of his eyes below the neckline of your dress as you hovered over him, only pulling back once the cool glass of the bottleneck was firmly in your grasp. The glimmer in his eyes, previously light and boyish, had darkened imperceptibly.

You were playing a dangerous game, and you both knew it.

Beyond the door, Jennie’s playlist had changed to something a little more sultry, Kehlani’s honeyed voice now floating among the sounds of the city from below. His gaze remained on you as you raised the bottle to your lips, tilting it back and letting the tartness of the grape soju fill your mouth.

The song wasn’t the only thing that had changed. There was a palpable shift in the room, a simmering heat gradually seeping into the atmosphere, brought on by your brazen touch. Still, he kept a safe distance, giving you the reins and the freedom to dispel the tension you had created.

Which you had absolutely no intention to.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, relishing in the way his eyes immediately left yours to track the movement. “You know,” you began, turning the bottle over in your hands, “I used to have a bit of a thing for you.”

His eyebrows raised with interest, but there was also a hint of surprise layered beneath.

“Third year, that data algorithms project. I thought a lot about asking you out, actually,” you continued, watching as his face slowly took on a smile at your words. A soft laugh escaped those pretty lips, as if he was enjoying some private joke that you weren’t in on. Without meaning to, you leaned in, drawn to the sound, wanting to understand the amusement behind it.

“You wanna know something?” he asked, to which you weren’t sure if you had actually nodded, or if you had only imagined that you did, too preoccupied by the inviting curve of his mouth.

He was all too willing to comply with the unspoken request behind your curious eyes, moving forward at a languid pace, until his lips hovered just over the shell of your ear, not quite touching, but close enough that you could feel the fluttering pull of air with each of his inhales and exhales. You could smell him too, his cologne now infused with the scent of his skin over the course of the evening, smooth and sweet, and much too dizzying.

His cheek brushed yours for a fraction of a second before you registered the conspiratorial whisper in your ear.

“So did I.”

You hadn’t even realised your own eyes had closed until they were fluttering open with his departure from your space. He pulled back, eyes gleaming with a furtive satisfaction like he had just let you in on some big, juicy, forbidden secret. It took a while for your chest to start pulling oxygen back into your lungs again. How he could render you so breathless when he had barely even touched you — you would’ve been embarrassed if not for the foggy warmth circling your head and radiating throughout the rest of your body, leaving you oblivious to everything but the sheer force of how much you wanted him.

He reached for the bottle, now almost empty, and you fought the flinch when you felt his fingers close around your hand. This time, you didn’t complain when he removed it from your grasp and set it back on the nightstand. The warmth of his hand did not leave yours, flipping it over to trail his fingers lightly across your knuckles.

“These are pretty,” he murmured, thumbing at the rings decorating your fingers. You could only manage a noncommittal hum in response. His touch had stolen your voice right out of your chest, along with all the rationality usually contained inside your mind, leaving you with nothing but the feeling of your own blood thrumming in your veins, hot and fast beneath your skin.

All night, you had danced around each other, stealing furtive glances and exchanging flirty smiles, carefully toeing around the edge of politeness and propriety. And maybe Baekhyun was just too polite, too respectful, letting you take the wheel and steer tonight in whichever direction you wanted, despite the want that was so clearly etched on his face.

Surely, your face was a mirror of his own. Surely, he could tell.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked, looking up at you with heavy-lidded eyes, unfurling your fingers to lace his own through them. The press of his warm skin against yours had you light-headed and almost delirious, but you forced your gaze to stay steady on him while you tried to find your voice again.

“I’m thinking,” you began, low and breathy, “about how you’ve been eye-fucking me this whole night.”

His sharp inhale was unmistakable above the quiet of the room. A meteor could have landed right outside the building and you wouldn’t even have noticed, held captive by his dangerous touch and the hunger flaring in his eyes.

“And,” you continued, “how I’ve been waiting for you to do something about it ever since you shut that door.”

The second after the words left your mouth seemed to stretch across an eternity. You watched as he registered them, transfixed by how his whole body seemed to cloud over with desire, pushing out any remaining trace of restraint.

One moment you were sitting on the bed, revelling in the delicious tension you had created, and the next he had pulled you flush against him. His mouth was on yours, hot and needy, the self-control he had been so meticulously keeping to for the entire night disappearing the instant he felt your lips move against his own. You were no better, hands leaving his to fist desperately at the fabric of his shirt. An airy moan left your throat when his tongue brushed against yours, letting you taste the sweetness you had been imagining ever since you laid eyes on him on the rooftop. He swallowed the sound, the plump flesh of his bottom lip tightening into a pleased smile at your reaction.

Baekhyun pulled away first, lips leaving yours to trail across your cheek and down the side of your neck, where you felt the light graze of his teeth over the skin, and then the wetness of his tongue following the same path. His hands had snaked around you, fingers digging into the curve of your waist, keeping you in place while he nipped at you, drawing stilted gasps out of your parted mouth. When he pulled the flesh into the warmth of his mouth and sucked it to a nice, dark bruise, the heat coiling in the pit of your stomach flared, violent and hungry.

You were going to lose your mind.

“You know, you could just try again,” you managed to get out between heaving breaths. “Ask me out.”

“Would you say yes?” he asked, and you felt his lips shape the words against your skin. They dragged back up the column of your throat, capturing your mouth again with another heated kiss that had your head spinning. He shifted, and your knees came to rest on either side of his leg, the firm muscles of his thigh pressing against the part of you that ached for his touch. In the haze of this moment, you didn’t know much, but you knew you would’ve said yes to absolutely anything to come out of that sweet, tempting mouth.

Still, you played along, letting a devious smile pull the corners of your mouth upwards. “That depends on how tonight goes.”

He drew back slightly, fixing you with a wicked look that held promises he was nothing short of determined to fulfil. You could see yourself reflected in the darkness of his blown-out pupils, flushed and already wrecked just from the attention of his mouth. Anticipation and thrill jolted through you like lightning, zipping through every cell in your body as your mind drifted to what he might have in store behind those enticing eyes.

You weren’t left wondering for long. His hands left your waist and moved to your calf, pushing up the silken fabric of your dress as they slowly crept upwards, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. The brush of his fingers against your inner thigh drew another shuddering breath out of you.

His next words were not unlike an oath.

“Then I’d better make tonight fucking spectacular.”

#baekhyun #exo baekhyun #byun baekhyun #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun smut #exo x reader #baekhyun fanfic #exo smut #baekhyun au #baekhyun fluff #kaleidohscopic works

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zenosanalytic · 1 month ago

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When Christians Kill God

I was watching a Big Joel video essay on Nebula this morning(sorry, can't link it rn: he hasn't put it on youtube yet) about the God's Not Dead series of christian-nationalist movies, and it crystalized something for me:

When Nietzsche said "God is Dead"(and I have my Issues with Nietzsche this is not a "Nietzsche is Great" post), he didn't mean god had ltrl had a heart attack or something, nor did he mean ppl didn't BELIEVE in god anymore. He meant "God", as a concept, had lost the explanatory and organizational meaning he felt it had in the past: that "God" was no longer a transcendent and otherworldly point for social cohesion, which provided structure and meaning to society and life, and The Church no longer an institution everyone deferred to and interacted with by dint of its divine-connection, but rather that both had become subordinate to gross political power. He meant that God-as-concept was now a mere rhetorical means to achieve inescapably worldly, political ends(one could fairly argue if "God" had ever been anything BUT that).

There's a moment in one of the latest of these movies subtitled In God We Trust[1](we'll get back to this) that is VERY telling. The hero of the film, a conservative pastor running for congress, is debating a strawman liberal and the liberal says something like "Isn't do unto others the main message of Christianity? Isn't Love Thy Neighbor central to the teachings of Jesus?" to which the hero says "No." both times and then responds "central to the teachings of Jesus, IS Jesus." and follows it up with "the only reason the teachings of Jesus resonate is because he was the son of god" meaning that christianity isn't about following Joshua's teachings or example, but just baldly about worshiping him, as a deity and like:

First off Josh Says(Im going to have to quote the Gospel of John quite extensively here to make a point, so plz excuse that) pretty clearly

I am the way the truth and the life

That how he lived is The Life dedicated to god, and his example the WAY to god, and his life's teachings AND example the TRUTH of god, and reiterates it later when asked by Phillip to show them god by saying

have I been with you all this time, Phillip, and you still do not know me?

in other words 'WHAT HAVE I BEEN TEACHING YOU That you don't know god yet? Haven't you been paying attention to my words and actions?' and later

The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own, but the Father who dwells in me does his works

in other words 'The Words of my Teachings are the Work of God. I. HAVE. BEEN. TEACHING YOU. GOD' and then, still, following from that

Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, but if you do not, then believe because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.

and later still

Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words, and the word that you hear is not mine but is from the Father who sent me

It Could-Not-Be-Fucking-Clearer: Joshua is saying DIRECTLY 'If you believe in me you will live by my example and my teachings, and if you do not live The Way and The Truth I have brought to you FROM GOD, then you DO.NOT. believe in me' His message could not be clearer.

The people who made God's Not Dead: In God We Trust made it's culminating moment a DIRECT RENUNCIATION of Joshua's teachings, and John 14 specifically, in favor of worshiping divinity in-and-of-itself. They reject his life, his teachings, his works --Everything the Gospels equate directly to Joshua and through him to God-- to merely worship a god for being a god, and in doing so mark themselves out as not christian at all. They DO NOT keep his words, and so they do not love him, and they are PROUD OF THIS!

So, No, God's Not Dead: In God We Trust(which you CLEARLY DONT DO, Actually): Christ is NOT "the central message of christianity", his WORDS are his BODY and those who KEEP them in their Hearts make themselves a HOME FOR GOD. When you reject his Words, you reject his Way, you reject his Life, you reject God, You. Reject. Christ.

I am no christian, but by the standards of the professed beliefs of the people who made this work, of the VERY TEXT they claim is their inspiration and truth, bowing down to divinity is NOT Enough. You HAVE to Walk the Way; you MUST Accept his Words.

But more to my point: What better proof that "God Is Dead", no longer a pillar to build your life around and bring ppl together by, now nothing more than a tool for unscrupulous power-seekers, than a gang of wealthy liars calling themselves ~Christians~ proudly celebrating their Rejection of "The Way The Truth The Life" in favor of scraping at divinity's feet, as a tawdry tactic to drum up votes for an election.

They Spit on their God and call it "Faith".

[1]That they'd name it this is particularly galling, given everything else, because of course that Wasn't The Original Motto of the US, E Pluribus Unum(Out of Many, One) is, but rather one adopted in 1956 after a long campaign of political christians campaigning for it. In other words: That "In God We Trust" is the official US motto is yet another example of God being reduced from something holy to a political football. ↩︎

#Big Joel #Conservative Christians #Politics #Rhetoric #Frederick Nietzsche #Christianity #John 14 #The New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition #Biblical Exegesis #Movie Criticism #Video Essays #Our Staff #zA Writes #zA's Heretical Theosophizing #zA's Hyperbolic Moralizing #zA's Relentless Pedantry #zA's Inveterate Politicism

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kaiderlou · 2 months ago

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Taking Back Your Brain: tips from a medical student

I have a confession to make: I am incredibly terrible at looking up from my phone and engaging in real life. Like bad bad. Like I struggle to get through a lecture without getting on tiktok bad. So here are all the things I'm plotting and planning to take back my brain from the greedy fingers of tech billionaires who have commodified my attention span--hopefully some of this will help you too!

1. Recognizing WHY I'm reaching for my phone as much as I am

the hidden truth behind our declining attention spans : This video really helped me reframe the way I think of my reliance on social media. I encourage watching it, but if you don't have the time, here's the breakdown:

We live in a world that is designed to distract us. Media and tech as a whole have gotten continuously better at grabbing our attention. It grows their platform, it makes them money, and they are investing money into research to invent new tactics to distract us.

What cues us to reach for our phones? Leonie shares in her video that she does so whenever she has a negative thought, and I agree. The nature of short form content promises quick distraction without having to commit to a long holiday from whatever task is at hand (though it always ends up happening). I'm working on confronting whatever uncomfortable thing is prompting me to reach for my phone, rather than giving in and creating a cycle of dependence.

2. Utilizing zones

Designate zones for each different "mode" of life. Don't shit where you eat and don't work where you sleep. Have a space for studying, socializing, sleeping/leisure, etc. and don't mix them. This prevents you from mixing cues. When you're in your work zone, it signals to your brain that it's time to go into work mode, making it easier to focus.

This is the idea behind sleep hygiene too! Keeping your room or even just your bed reserved only for sleep means that when you enter that zone, it cues your brain that it's time for sleep.

3. Mindfulness practices

There is very little I resent more than being told as a busy student that the reason I'm burnt out is because I don't practice mindfulness (it's definitely not because the system is rigorous and asks too much of us, right????) but unfortunately, they might be right.

Mindfulness helps pull you out of the muck of what's happening inside your head and into the present moment. It has been so helpful with pulling me out of my anxiety and makes me feel like I'm actually living my life, rather than avoiding it. Instead of diving headfirst into my phone or maladaptive thinking, I'm grounded in the reality of the present moment.

In the same vein, feel your feelings. It can be uncomfortable, but running from them only works for so long. It takes more and more energy to avoid them until something finally gives. Feel the sensation in your body, be aware of it, then let it pass. Getting comfortable with doing this will eventually replace the avoidance tactics you've picked up, like endless scrolling.

4. Fill your free time with productive things

This doesn't mean don't rest. Rest is productive. But you have to actually rest and do things that are regenerative, not doomscroll.

Take the time to grow in ways that interest you. Do things for your body, mind, and soul. For instance, I like lifting weights, reading/watching video essays/seeing movies on topics I'm curious about, topics that make me think (balanced by fluffy books that DON'T make me think), and praying/reading my Bible. Growth is good for you, your brain wasn't made to be stagnant.

5. Be kind to yourself and your brain

Sometimes kindness looks like cutting yourself some slack, but sometimes it's having the discipline to do something now so you aren't kicking yourself down the line. This is the biggest principle that I live by and it helps me reframe doing the hard things. The hard things have to be done regardless, it's just a matter of under what circumstances. Wouldn't you rather do them when they're easier than when you're fueled by panic? Take care of future you

Anyways, these are the things I'm going to be focusing on with my dedicated STEP 1 study period fast approaching <3

#step 1 im scared of u #that girl #becoming that girl #hack your brain #studyblr #it girl #girlblog

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heybluez · 5 months ago

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if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around

little angsty disaster twins snippet i posted on ao3 a while ago. thought it might be cool to post it here too! cw for major character implied/ referenced death. enjoy!

-----

He walked past his room again.

At this point, it was starting to become an exercise in futility. It was like a data point to be measured, a new tally to be marked down, how many times could he walk past his room in a day under the guise of doing literally anything else. Checking the kitchen to see if they needed more eggs. Ducking into the dojo to see if Raph had let up on his everlasting training routine since he had last checked on him, seeing if Mikey needed more salve for his aching arms. Walking behind dad’s recliner to see if he had moved an inch, at all, or if he was still stuck watching the same stupid infomercial reruns in lieu of getting up and helping mend the chaotic, broken stasis that his sons were stuck in.

It had been almost five months. Four months and sixteen days, if you wanted to be perfectly exact, but man, who was really counting?

(He was. Donnie was.)

It was, truthfully, stasis. The time had passed, but nobody acknowledged it, not really. It was still August fifth. Maybe it would always be August fifth. It felt that way. Sure, they moved around it, this gaping hole of just, loss, the grief in its totality, like it didn’t exist, but the proof of it persisted every time Donnie walked past his room, and he wasn’t there.

Leo was supposed to be in his room.

Leo was supposed to be in his room so that when Donnie walked in after fruitless efforts of getting a specific line of Python to code, a blanket would be lifted so Donnie could crawl in and commiserate in Leo’s insomniatic company. Leo was supposed to be in his room so that Donnie could bring in two sugar free Redbulls and turn on a Five Nights at Freddy’s video essay, staying up until four in the morning discussing with Leo which game contributed the most lore to the series. Leo was supposed to be in his room so that Donnie knew exactly where to find him when he got a text from Leo that he was heading topside for a slushie run and wanted Donnie to come with him. Leo was supposed to be in his room so that Donnie could come bug him to share his Switch so they could play Mario Kart.

Leo was supposed to be in his room.

And all Donnie could do was walk by, adding more tallies to the count for every time he did, wishing he could push past this inane thing, this fear, of walking into Leo’s room, and having to face the total eclipse of acceptance that his room would always be empty.

It had been almost five months.

He wondered if Leo had ever taken the mug he had been drinking his peppermint tea in back to the kitchen, the tea he had made the night before the world ended, or if it was just collecting dust now on his nightstand. He wondered if Leo had taped up the left corner of his Jupiter Jim poster that had fallen down, or if it was still hanging off the wall, doomed to be stuck that way for the rest of time. He wondered if he had remembered to plug in his laptop, or if it was still sitting on his bed where it would remain forever paused on whatever movie he had turned on to help him fall asleep.

Donnie could try to rationalize to himself all he wanted that he walked past Leo’s door everyday to check on the state of the lair. To check on the state of his family, as they too tried to process their grief. He could give himself a million reasons as to why it wouldn’t be alright for him to finally just walk into Leo’s room, a room that was now made to hold his memory, a mortuary for the people who loved him, love him, so much. In truth, he was scared to see the same stasis that he saw in Raph, saw in Mikey, saw in his dad. Their life was an ellipsis, waiting for the resolving sentence that was Leonardo to make them truly whole. If he walked into Leo’s room, if he finally let himself be brave, the pause button he had placed on his own life would start playing again, and the feeble control he so painstakingly allowed himself in his grief would finally be unraveled.

The feeble, tiniest hope still left in him that when he walked past Leo’s door, maybe he might hear the shitty eighties glam rock Leo so loved to dance to, or a Ghibli movie he had watched a million times, or hell, maybe even Leo’s voice and his wonderful, dazzling laugh as he talked to someone on the phone.

He still had this small hope inside him that perhaps Leo wasn’t truly gone, just somewhere far away where Donnie couldn’t quite reach him, and any minute he might portal back into his room where Donnie could find him again. That seeing the portal close, the portal that painted the early morning New York City sky in so many beautiful shades of brilliant colors, had just been a terrible dream. And he would wake up any minute now, and the one color the sky couldn’t take away from him, his most favorite shade of blue, would be waiting for him like he always was.

But the dream didn’t pass. It never did.

Donnie felt like insanity personified, and maybe he was. Doing the same thing over and over, hoping, wishing, praying for a different result.

One more time. Just once more.

He walked past his room.

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stormblessed95 · 1 year ago

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Hi Stormblessed (dope name btw),

Don't know if this is the best place for this essay or the right time but I need to word-vomit this out, or I'm gonna be a JK-style spaced out zombie all day.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that a big part of the fandom tends to mis-characterize the members based on edits, fanfics and out-of-context clips. Something probably mostly to do with how social media platforms have been pushing for these short videos over the last few years. Why watch 300 hours of original content (some of which is behind a paywall) if you can get the gist of it (you think) from TikToks?

My particular point has to do with how that allows for the narrative (aka made up shit) especially around Jimin to grow. All of the members get that treatment, the maknaes worse due to their popularity, but due to how a big part of Army are also tkk shippers, Jimin is the one who's portrayal often skews more negative. The others' perceptions just are neutral or fantastical in a sense that they're more like badly written male leads. Don't get me wrong, solos throwing around bs is nothing singular to him but no one gets accused (said completely seriously btw) of sleeping his way into BTS or the release of his album.

After I saw this vitriol for the first time I had to actually sit down because wtf.

And then I started wondering why that is, and came to the conclusion that it is:

(Internalized) misogyny and sexism

Blatant homophobia

Jimin is the member the most obviously in tune of his femininity. He hasn't subscribed to gender norms for a decade at least, and once his hyper-masculine-esque persona from the debut days was dismissed, he ventured further. (That isn't to dismiss the growth they all have shown in that area.)

But antis, akgaes, Solos and shippers take that femininity and apply every stereotype and misogynistic idea to JM.

Traits they f.e. hate:

He is openly flirty with many people (members especially)

He is very physical, and touch is arguably one of his love languages and go-to way of comforting smn

He is pretty af and knows it

He's sensual and sexy and knows it

He's cute

He's sweet (aka a good fucking human)

But why does that make "them" hate him so much?

Because they have been taught that these traits in women (like themselves) are bad. What makes it worse, however, is that the men around JM all know these things to be true, acknowledge them as true and compliment him on them. In the case of JK (since this is about Jikook at the end of the day):

He loves flirty JM despite sometimes not knowing how to handle him (ehem the 'shameless convo'). He flirts back (fe the whole live where he was in bed begging for JM to come over)

Tkkers and such love pulling the "JK hates it" card. Which is nonsense, considering how he seeks JM's comfort when he's down (esp during concerts), actively cuddles JM (In The Soop) and never uses all his big muscles to shove JM but rather to just carry him around. Compare that to the jokingly disgusted face Yoongi pulls when Tae tries to hold his hand, and it becomes glaringly obvious that no one who says the members dislike touching each other has a leg to stand on. Calling it harassment goes so far beyond any line of sanity...

JK - like all of BTS - acknowledges that Jimin's beauty is simply out of this world. They are regularly stunned by his appearance

Just gonna point to JK's reaction to Filter, Blood Sweat & Tears, Black Swan, and Set Me Free pt 2 here. JK calls JM sexy so often it's hilarious

* inserts clip of absolutely WHIPPED JK after JM cutely punches him during that performance of Boy With Luv *. Also we know that "cute" his JK's type as he himself admitted.

Jimin has been Jungkook's comfort person for so long, and with such depth that he dedicated a whole trip and video to him. They care for each other so deeply that the only logical conclusion was to go to the military together.

Aka: he is all that they hate in the girls/women in their normal life so they can't do nothing but tear him down. They envy how comfortable he seems in his own skin, how easily he goes from sexy to cute, how loved he is by those around him. On top of that is how gay people are still perceived and treated by a lot of countries around the world. No matter what they say, being an army and shipping men doesn't make you automatically an ally and non-homophobic.

They treat Jimin like they would most likely treat the lgtbqia+ people in real life: something to be careful of, someone dishonest and slutty.

They conflate everything they hate about themselves and gay people and * boom * out come frankly terrifying tweets, fanfics and shit.

Contrast that with how these very same people fetishize the relationship between Tae and Jungkook - either viewing them like men who watch p_rn involving two women, or a self-insert with how little character they have - and that's the state of the army shipping community. They could be Barbie dolls getting smashed together and you wouldn't know the difference.

I'm not saying Jikookers are better in that, but the language they tend to use is incredibly different.

---

That was a lot.

To end on a sweet note: I saw a quote on Twitter "If you want to find out what someone fears losing, look at what they photograph."

And...well. that just screams Jikook

Hi! Thank you, I like my name too 🥰

And yeah, basically I agree. I think there is more to it as well, but that a lot of it could be boiled down to all this. And yeah, jikookers are just as guilty of this too, but not always in the same way. Sometimes in a way that is more fetishizing but is just as harmful. Take it from someone who has seen it all in my inbox from people who feel safe on anon 😂😂

Thanks for sharing! And your quote at the end is SOOOOO cute!

#jikook #kookmin #Jikook antis

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nekropsii · 1 year ago

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🔥

Dancestors

[For the Unpopular Opinions Ask Game!!]

Okay, this may come across to some as harsh, but I don’t care. You asked for Unpopular Opinions. This is one of them. It’s heated. It needs to be said.

The way people continuously searched for reasons to get mad at the Alpha Trolls and still to this day continuously search for them to the point of literally fucking making shit up is embarrassing. The fact that people- fans!- use them as their little scapegoat for “everything wrong with Homestuck” is embarrassing.

The way people will make up and pass around straight up lies about the Alpha Trolls just for the sake of Outrage Farming is embarrassing. The fact that these are all taken as truth, more so than the literal text of the Alpha Troll plot lines, simply because people didn’t have anything else to yell at that week, is fucking embarrassing.

I once watched a pretty good Homestuck video essay on YouTube. It was a great time. The premise of it was basically a retrospective on Homestuck and it’s plot in broad strokes, and why the whole thing is good and cool and you should read it. Very nice. The speaker had a lovely voice. And then, for some ungodly fucking reason, right at the end, they started going on some very long winded, incredibly wrong diatribe about the Alpha Trolls and why they’re the worst thing that’s ever happened- parroting, with rage, common lies I’d seen for years and sprinkling in some brand new brain fungus, all like it was fact. The dude called Porrim, Porrim fucking Maryam, an MRA. Porrim fucking Maryam was reduced down to a whiny Men’s Rights Activist who didn’t know shit, and Kankri Vantas was correct about everything, suddenly. Horuss’s main problem was that he was a mockery of Otherkin people. Otherkin people! As if the fact that he’s a mockery of Systems is less important!! The reason for this is clear- that motherfucker, and every god damn other person making essays about how the Alpha Trolls are The Worst in the whole ass 2020s, have not actually read or played through the Alpha Troll segments for shit. They have no go damn clue what they’re talking about, and they don’t care. They don’t care about being right, or making good points and observations, they care about being mad and getting engagement. It is literally completely performative.

It completely ruined the entire essay. And for what? And for fucking what? The Alpha Trolls are, for the most part, wholly irrelevant to the story, sans Aranea and Meenah. You can skip over them and miss nothing. They are not “the worst Homestuck has to offer”, they are a skippable fucking footnote, and everyone needs to get a god damn grip. Holy shit.

At this point, it really feels like most of the anger and hatred is only still parroted around blindly because it’s just tradition at this point. No one knows what they’re talking about, and no one cares. Why would they? This is what gets them the little guaranteed dopamine rush of other idiots just looking to be angry agreeing with them blindly, just for the sake of being really mad at something that doesn’t matter and no one will face check. God damn. Grow some eyes and read the comic you’re criticizing before criticizing it. Grow a damn spine and get your own opinions. This is not hard.

The Alpha Trolls are rife with things worth criticism. No one is talking about any of them, because no one cares to actually read it and gather an insightful, meaningful opinion on them from literal direct observation and analysis. They just care about being mad, and saying something very outrageous confidently enough that they seem right. It’s not that they don’t have anything worth criticizing, it’s that almost everything people are criticizing them for either doesn’t matter, is wrong, or is a lie.

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #homestuck meta #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #dancestors #homestuck.pdf #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

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agenericplaceholdername · 6 months ago

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Dragons Rising E6-10 Thoughts

Here’s some thoughts on each episode in the latter half of Dragons Rising, Season 1 Part 1:

Return to Imperium:

The color grading of this opening seems off – almost as if it’s a flashback (it’s not, ofc)

JORDANA SPOTTED

The conveyor belts directing people where to go is so on the nose for an authoritarian society

“It's the perfect companion for anyone that might... be lonely” :(

“Unconventional? Perhaps you can forgive her” man this is seriously dystopian but also pretty funny

Sora in her S1 outfit without headphones is kinda cursed

“Ever since the Merge it’s been you and me” I AGREE ARIN. LET’S KEEP IT THAT WAY

Kai’s Wu impression is great

The Advanced Science Lab? Isn’t it the Advanced Systems Lab?

I HATE SORA’S PARENTS I HATE SORA’S PARENTS

The sewer smash cut is perfect. Beyond the Phantasm Cave implies that Sora actually traveled through the sewers before so at least she had a reason to assume there was no security

The public shaming platform? At least it’s not a two hour YouTube video essay documenting your every misdeed (which I will then watch)

This episode sold me on Sora’s character and is essential for her arc this season

Mindless Beasts:

Like the Rapton ad

The Arin chase scene is fun

I certainly hope nothing bad happens to the new shoulder pad store

The Imperium Teenage Protection Force all have shorter legs, meaning they’re probably slightly younger than Arin (or just short)

Every Wyldfyre line is gold: “If I was your enemy, why would I let you out of your cell?” “If you don’t know, how should I?”

Sora says her family was poisoned against her by LaRow— meaning she believes that her parents would have accepted her if not for LaRow. Ofc, we know later that once they see the truth, they don’t change their mind, so her rejection of them means even more

For a scientist, LaRow isn’t very smart (or lab skills =/= street skills)

“I’ve got a master teaching me all the things I’m doing wrong” Arin no he’s trying to help you

Percival talking about him is the first time Lord Ras is identified in front of Arin — before, he was just the “tiger guy”

Rapton has the perfect combination of incredible arrogance and thin skin

Dorama just wants to show off

Ras has such a deeper voice than in S2

The Hunted soundtrack!

LaRow just can’t stop gloating lol. Not sure how a Photac can capture a source dragon

This episode is pretty important for Arin and Sora, and introduces Wyldfyre… but also isn’t super interesting

I Will Be the Danger:

Wyldfyre opening! Not what I was expecting when I originally watched but super cool. Not sure where she came from tho

The caregiver-bot helping Wyldfyre train is sweet. I wish she came back later (I know she does in a canon(?) novel and there was a deleted scene, but I wish it had been in the show)

Wyldfyre not knowing certain words is a clever detail that isn’t used often

Percival is so not convincing as an antagonist

JORDANA NAMED??

Considering the other empty holes in the portal gate room—are they supposed to link to other monasteries? Since the one Kai goes through links to the Imperium Monastary?

You probably are famous among ghosts Kai, considering the whole Morro thing

Poor Riyu

Thank you Sora, she really is weird— oh shoot Dorama! forgot about him

“I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS ‘SHUT UP’!” and then the one take after are pure Wyldfyre gold

The “ninja think Sora betrayed them” plot line could have gone somewhere but didn’t, and honestly I hate bad miscommunication plots so all good

Weird way to end

This episode peaks with the opening scene, and is generally fine outside

The Calm Inside:

Green eyes child Lloyd voiced by Sam Vincent is off putting. I get why they do this but whatever. The lighting/texturing in this scene (maybe bc of the rain) also makes Lloyd and Wu look super plasticy

Good lesson tho, and I’m glad it keeps coming up

Arin and Sora are a great duo

Melvin, remember, always do the bare minimum that gets you paid

And so the Empress joins the main plot

Super cool protective Lloyd is great, leaping down to pull Wyldfyre back from the Photac

What’s his “big plan” Beatrix? Why does Ras want Riyu? “You can’t [drain him] yet. My plan for—” no wait he was about to say it!

Ras is so mad at Beatrix omg

Kai and Nya have interacted more now than in any season post Hands of Time right?

So how did Arin trip? Tbf he punched himself in the face so makes sense

Ok the show just made the same joke after I wrote it, I guess I forgot

This sweat thing reminds me of the first Sam Raimi Spider-Man movie (the blood scene)

Lloyd being surrounded by chaos is overshadowed by the very strange design of imaginary Wu, but the scene leading up to Wu is so great. The music, the action, the direction— really stellar. Someone needs to let this guy take a break

Not Rapton’s unicorn figurines!

Excellent rhetorical comeback Lloyd

Ras is so cool -- singlehandedly fighting multiple dragons

Zane! But how did he end up in that pod?

Jordana! Sora is just totally lost lol

Do you think Kai, Nya, and Zane were planning on jumping out or was it spontaneous?

Lot of questions in this episode, and it would probably be better if they saved Lloyd hitting the targets for a flashback later in the episode (that is, end the first flashback before Wu gives Lloyd the lesson)

That being said it’s the best one since E6 and a good setup for the finale

The Battle of the Second Monastery:

Jordana getting insulted by LaRow (albeit indirectly) :(

This is probably very overwhelming for Zane

Everything seems particularly saturated in this scene

The Jordana reveal is very good. Funny, but also kinda heartbreaking since Sora was just using her technology to give herself a friend

Lord Ras is not very nice (although he’s right how do you lose to two mostly-untrained teenagers who are in handcuffs)

Arin and Sora use Jordana swinging her sword to free themselves, just like Lloyd did in E2. Shows how far they’ve come (much better than when they fight Ras, which just diminishes him as an antagonist)

Ouch Lloyd, always look before you leap

“As opposed to those really strong gnats” I’d spend some more time workshopping those comebacks Arin

The Source Dragon scene is SO cool!

Sora beats Ras mostly though luck but the real question is why was he running so slowly

And so we finish the S1P1 aspect of Sora’s arc, although her conclusion of “having a responsibility to use her powers” is very similar to the end of E5

Sad Arin :( already made a post relating this scene to what happens in S2 but it takes on a whole new meaning knowing what happens after

Beatrix imprisoning Ras actually makes a ton of sense and I might make a whole post talking about why (and her character generally)

The Ras fight isn’t great - I get why it happens and Arin and Sora don’t really beat him physically, but it does undermine him as a threat. The rest of the episode is really good tho, especially the vision

Next up, the first half of S1P2!

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #long post #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #ninjago arin #ninjago sora #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago jordana #ninjago dr s1

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theveryfires · 2 years ago

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10 things i hate about you | eddie munson x reader

an: hi there lovelies! Apologies that i have taken such a long break from writing. I have recently finished university and with my dissertation and essays i ended up having no time to actually write anything worth while! for those that have stuck around, thank you for your patience and for those that are new, hi! This is essentially the full version of my earlier piece titles 'crush' that i posted months ago! i hope you enjoy and as always if there is anything i can do better please dont be shy to let me know!

“What’s got you all riled up this time, Munson?”

Gareth’s voice felt distant, drowned out by the sound that had been distracting Eddie since he stepped foot into the cafeteria. His eyes were fixed on the table a few feet away from his own domain. Populated by the slightly more socially acceptable nerds, they would probably be cool in college. All dressed in the same thick knit jumpers, deep blue denim flares, wild hair. He squinted, almost wincing as the sound seemed to grow to a crescendo. There you were, one hand clutching your stomach, close to tumbling out of your chair, the other hand covering your mouth and completely useless at muffling your laughter. it almost bubbled, tinkling and pouring, coating the rest of the usual lunchtime white noise in a thick syrup like blanket. The air had almost turned to honey, and nobody else seemed to notice. Tears were sliding down your face, glasses seconds away from falling off your nose. Eddie’s chest felt cramped, his face growing hotter when your eyes met his for a brief second.

“Not what, dear Gareth. But who.”

Eddie’s rivalry with you was well known throughout the Hellfire club. Although his reasonings were not as widely known, not even to Eddie. There was no definitive motive, no moment in time that started all this distaste. He simply didn’t like you. You had been aware of one another throughout your time at Hawkins middle and high school. Something about you had always given him a headache, made his palms itch, his overall being sweaty. All of this coming to a head when you accidentally walked in on a extremely important Hellfire meeting. You had cut your hair, it was shorter and your glasses had glowed in the low candlelight. He remembered distinctly the way you tripped over your words as you apologised, the glimmer in your eyes as you mentioned something about fire regulations. Your voice was teasing, pulling him out of his seat when he abruptly stood up. It had kept him awake at night, plaguing his dreams for weeks on end. Of course you occasionally caught his deathly glare, but it always softened slightly. The usual cold brown some how warming. You had just figured he was glaring at the jocks that sat a two table’s over. Of course you were unaware of your rivalry with the infamous dungeon master. Totally clueless.

“Is this about Temple of Doom again man? I don’t get why you don’t just bring it up with Keith.”

Eddie couldn’t quite believe that you worked at Family Video. For so long it had been a place of safety and comfort, until he had walked in to find you sorting through the horror section and chatting away to Robin. You were chewing on gum, from the looks of the lurid pink it was watermelon flavour, his favourite. He had never seen you with your hair tied back, little strands falling about your face and practically begging to be pushed back behind your ears. Robin and Steve had actually got a bit worried when they didn’t see him every afternoon like usual, quickly picking up on the fact he only came in when you weren’t working. Eddie had been going in virtually everyday asking after the new Indiana Jones movie. He was convinced you had somehow figured out he wanted it, and cooked up some plan to keep it from him. But Steve told him the actual truth, that you had booked it for three weeks specially for Dustin’s birthday. “Personally i couldnt watch a film that many times but…well you know Henderson.” Eddie had nodded absentmindedly, his eyes glazed over with a strange look. “How does she know Dustin?” His voice had sounded strained, piquing Steve’s interest as he raised an eyebrow. “She’s his babysitter, his actual official babysitter. Has been since I’ve known the kid.” Eddie had only known Dustin a month or so at that point, but it did something to his chest knowing that you cared that much. He continued to complain to Gareth about you, of course…to keep up appearances. But something was different.

“What? Oh no that…thats sorted now.”

That was another thing that he hated, you were always doing stupidly kind things for people for no apparent reason. A week or so after mentioning the whole Temple of Doom saga to Harrington, Eddie had been, as he described it, accosted in the student carpark. He had just pulled up, giving himself five minutes before dragging himself to English where you would surely be already waiting. On top of everything you shared quite a few classes with Eddie, meaning he didn’t really ever get a chance of not being around you. He always knew when you were coming, the telltale smell of coffee that had too much cinnamon and not enough sugar intermingling with your vanilla perfume seemed to surround you. Drifting down the halls, clinging to your locker, english books, pens. He knew this because you often let him borrow a pen and a spare book when he forgot them. But that morning he was surrounded before he had chance to prepare himself. A blush had attacked his face, tinging his ears that luckily were hidden under his mop of curls when you appeared suddenly in front of him. Eddie had watched you eye the cigarette in his hand, caught in the way you inhaled a little deeper, breathed out a little slower. He was left illiterate, only managing to just keep his cool whilst he raised a ever bored eyebrow in your general direction. He had smirked when you sighed, rolling your eyes and shoving the box towards him. “Steve mentioned you were ‘hankering’ for this. Technically i still have it for another four days but…i think if Dusty watches it one more time the tape will break. It’s all yours.” You hadn’t even waited for a thank you, already turning on your heel and walking away. Leaving Eddie with his mouth open, cig caught on his lip and smoke tumbling out of his mouth. He hated the way you left him feeling, all red in the face, heart racing, like an idiot.

“So, what’s the problem?”

Eddie was certain he hated you, was completely convinced of the fact that there was a high chance of you hating him too. But after the past few months, after being forced to actually spend more than the usual minimal amount of time with you, hate didn’t feel like the right word. You treated Dustin like a little brother, actually all the kids clearly looked up to you. You were always on time for picking him up, but never complained about staying a little later. Eddie found himself loving those sessions more than anything, sneaking glances at you as you watched wide eyed at the world of Hellfire. But he had hated you, all through school he had found every inch of you irritating. From the little crop tops you wore in summer to the grandpa jumpers that appeared in the winter. He had hated you for the way you made him feel. Setting him alight every time you were near, making his stomach twist and churn when you caught his eye, god help him if you ever spoke to him properly. And yet…and yet all that was changing. He hadn’t even realised it until Erica had made a pointed comment after catching Eddie drooling over you during one of the later Hellfire meetings. “Are you just gonna sit there all goo-goo eyed over Dustin’s babysitter or are we actually gonna play, I’m missing a key episode of MLP for this yknow?”

“It’s…complicated.”

A few days prior, Eddie had passed you on your walk home from work. He had been driving back from a gig at the hideout, his headlights illuminating the downpour as he slowly made his way back through Hawkins when he spotted you. You were drenched, hair sticking to you face, clothes practically moulded to your body, shoes sodden and squelching on the pavement. At first he had just drove past, only making it a few feet up the street before he reversed back down the road. Robin and Steve had taken the afternoon off to take Dustin to some science fair with Mike and Lucas. Leaving just you and Keith to lock up. Usually you were fine with that, but it left you with no ride home as on that particular day your own car was at the garage. A perfect storm, resulting in you having to brave the autumn downpour on the thirty minute walk home. “Are you crazy?!” Eddie’s voice had scared you, nearly making you slip as you turned to see him staring at you wide eyed from the safety of his van. Eddie watched you turned your face towards the sky, a soft smile taking over the weak frown on his face as you basked in the downpour. “Possibly!” You grinned as you yelled back, an awkward moment growing with you only getting wetter as Eddie struggled to find the words. “Are you offering me a ride or not Munson? Not that it isn’t lovely to chat but uh…” He barely nodded but it was enough for you to run round and jump into the passenger seat. Eddie had glanced at you, frozen and suddenly unaware as to what to even say never mind do. He worried he had forgotten how to drive under your stare. “Theres…theres a spare t-shirt in the back if you…want a dry one?” You had forgotten all about your wet clothes after getting into the warmth of Eddie’s van. The shock of realising just how see through your white crop top had gone making you laugh as you happily accepted a new shirt.

“How could it possibly be more complicated?”

The whole drive back to your house Eddie had felt..strained. He could feel your eyes on him, the gentle burning of them making the van feel uncomfortably warm. Every few seconds he let himself look at you, his breathe quickly being stolen as the sight of you wearing his shirt. A ‘Corroded Coffin’ shirt to be exact. He felt like his head was going to explode, and then you started talking and that only made everything worse. You were trying to fill the silence, not able to bare the awkward quiet. You were rambling, a habit you and Robin seemed to share. Going on about work, looking after Dustin, the latest project for English, whatever film you and your friends were going to see at the weekend. Eddie was drumming his fingers, scrunching his nose and dragging a hand through his hair as he forced himself to focus on the road. A frown on his face that he had perfected for when he was alone with you. “Sorry, am i annoying you Munson?” You had noticed more and more that not only was Eddie not listening but he purposefully was ignoring you. He had done this a few times in the past, but never so blatantly. Eddie was weird, but you had also seen the caring and lovable side of him over the weeks he had spent with Dustin. So why did you get the cold shoulder? For a second those hardened brown eyes melted to chocolate buttons, glancing over at you as if finally caught in the headlights. “You were rambling, and I’m…im trying to focus on the road so we don’t crash. I dont really want to die with you in the car, princess.”

“It’s just…theres…we uh…there uh…”

The lunch that had been sat in front of Eddie continued to grow cold. Gareths stare only hardening as he noticed a strange glazed look coat Munsons usual death cold glare. Eddie replayed the night in his head. The silence that followed his use of ‘princess’ , the painful wince that had flooded his system as he realised what he had said. The look on your face when he had finally worked up the courage to face you. Your face was hard to read, blank almost whilst trying to process what had just happened. Eddie Munson. Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson had just referred to you as princess, whilst he was giving you a ride home, wearing his bands shirt and from the smell of it, it had been worn by Eddie a few times over. The rest of the journey was haunted by a heated silence that came to a grateful end when the van came to a stop outside your home. Eddie remembered you’re stutter, committed it to damn memory as if one day it would save his life. “Thanks for the ride Munson, I uh, well i guess i owe you one.” There was a cheeky tinge to your words, only made clear by the small smile you sent his way. “I’m keeping this shirt by the way…until next time sugar.” Eddie had watched you walk into your house, his hands gripping the wheel with the might of Thor. He could practically hear his heart in his chest, feel the blood rushing around his body. He couldnt sleep that night, or the night after. He couldnt even focus on DnD. All he could think about was that little smile, the way you fitted his shirt like it already belonged to you, how normal it felt to have you by his side.

“Theres been a disturbance in the force of something man.”

Gareth dropped the sandwich he had been happily enjoying whilst Eddie stared off into the distance. He knew all too well what that meant for Munson. The freak was in some dangerous waters. And if the stolen glances you had ben sneaking over at Eddie meant anything, so were you.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn #dustin henderson #steve harrington #fluff #angst #robin buckley

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 1 year ago

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"Perception" a Nine Essay

I started writing this back in January to take a break from brainrotting about Netflix posting EP1 of Season 3 to discuss something I had been thinking about again (ever since reviewing the end of season 2 for the umpteenth time).

I'd like to talk about the differences in how characters in Sonic Prime see Nine versus how he actually is. I know this seems like a simple topic, but I think we all do well with a reminder of just how much the characters in the show know with their limited povs (as we the audience can view everything).

I'll be going pretty much character by character (grouping some together to discuss their povs at once), and ending with Sonic and Shadow.

(Note: At the time I wrote most of this, I had planned to have it done before S3 dropped, as I felt that the messages of this essay would be good to put out there before we all inevitably saw Nine as the season antagonist. To keep up with my original intentions, this essay will only go up to what we the audience knew as of S2)

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So let's start with Rebel Rouge and Renegade Knucks. They gather their first impressions of Nine as they witness Sonic and Nine's capture at the hands of the council, although they don't properly meet Nine until they enter the Chaos Council's base.

"Are you sure we were 'best friends'?"

"Blue streak has a friend?"

"Didn't look friendly. But whoever he is, he's involved now."

They haven't yet watched the video a resistance member took of Sonic and Nine's fight, and when they do, we only know for sure that they'll watch clips of Sonic talking about Green Hill. This means that (especially since there are no references during their meeting with Nine that they saw him fight Sonic), them listening in as Nine and Sonic are abducted is baseline their knowledge of Nine before meeting him.

They consider Nine a possible friend of Sonic's as they listen in, but it’s Rebel who mentions that Nine doesn't sound very friendly. This is a fair assessment, given the tone of Nine's voice and Nine's questioning if he and Sonic even were really friends. It's enough to be suspicious of someone's character, especially in a city like this, where choosing the wrong ally in your resistance could likely get you captured, or worse. It's also worth mentioning that first impressions matter with guys like Renegade who (like Knuckles) tend to make judgements of character based on first impressions and gut feelings. He trusts Rebel quite a lot as well, even listening to her judgement when it opposes his own, so it’s not impossible that her initial judgement of Nine as unfriendly starts to inform his assumptions as to Nine's character.

But I digress. If you believe they didn't watch the full video of the Nine/Sonic fight, that small moment is enough for one or both to be suspicious of character or decide they don't like him. If you believe they did watch the full video of the fight, then I'd say that's enough evidence to form even a bit of a negative opinion on Nine and his character (after all, it does showcase Nine fighting the hedgehog they believe could be a sign of hope/an asset to the resistance. It's not too hard to come to the conclusion that Sonic and Nine may have been fighting up until being captured, even if that isn't the truth).

Now, the first meeting.

If they do have bad impressions of Nine before meeting him, Rebel and Renegade don't hold these against him. Rebel only swoops in to save Sonic from the laser and battle the eggforcers (which also allows Nine to escape captivity). As for Renegade, although he arrives after Nine has used the commotion to sneak away to the monitor, forgotten, he also never accuses Nine of any foul play or of only caring about himself. During this scene, Nine frees Sonic, saves Sonic by taking control of Rusty Rose, and ultimately aids in the battle despite fighting.

Now, as for my claim that Renegade doesn't assume Nine as a threat to the resistance or believe him to be a bad guy, let's pinpoint the scene where Nine first talks to him.

"No"

If you rewatch this scene (Season 1 Episode 2), Renegade isn't moving with intent to attack Nine. After punching an eggforcer, he bounds in the direction he's facing. He takes one step, in the direction Nine happens to be in before Nine instinctively points a mechanical tail at him (perhaps assuming that Renegade was moving to sneak up on him?). In addition, Renegade has this surprised look on his face until Nine says his next words.

"Catch up, Echidna. I'm one of the good guys."

Of course, this does no favor to Nine’s image regarding Renegade (especially as this isn't the only moment like this in terms of how Nine talks to Renegade), but it doesn't prove Nine's a bad guy. At worst, it frustrates and annoys Renegade, and if it comes off as some sort of "secret villain red flag" to Renegade, he doesn't keep this moment in the forefront of his mind. After all, he and Rebel both choose to follow Nine's idea of stealing the Chaos Council's energy crystal, and they don't mention or act like they are suspicious of Nine during the fight. This is all to say that, at the current moment, to them Nine may have an attitude, but he's not evil or intending to betray anyone.

An attitude like Nine's during this portion is either something to overlook or a trait tacked onto an indication depending on how any given person sees you. This is to say that at best if someone likes you or believes you to be good, you're "just a little rough around the edges", and if someone dislikes you or believes you to be bad, it's "of course someone bad would have an attitude like this". It's an accessory, not inherently an indication of moral character or intentions. Someone can use it to further implicate him/find more reasons to dislike him later (such as when people talk/post/write about people they think are bad people and start nitpicking their appearance in their reasoning), but for now his attitude isn't enough to make Rebel or Renegade distrust him.

After all, didn't they really think Nine would save them after nabbing the red paradox prism shard?

The shot is a bit hard to get, as they fully smile just before the show cuts back to Nine. This is the best shot of it I have at the moment. Just know that during Rebel's recount of this event in Season 1 Episode 6, Rebel and Renegade visually start to smile when they see Nine return with the shard.

Now that the mission is accomplished, we see that they're just waiting for Nine to rescue them. However, when Nine chooses to leave alone, Rebel and Renegade take it as betrayal.

Renegade is surprised before he turns angry, freeing Rebel, Rusty, himself in his rage. Rebel's expression deepens (as if angry, regretful) and closes her eyes.

These are not the reactions of people who distrusted Nine (or Sonic for that matter) from the start.

This scene pointedly shows us that Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty did not see Sonic disappear into the red shard (the doors shut before they can). Then they watch Nine leave them to their fates, making off with the shard as Sonic is nowhere to be found. It's not about Nine's attitude or unfriendlyness (or, again, Sonic's attitude for that matter. As Sonic *also* made Renegade frustrated the same way Nine did, but by calling everyone by the wrong names). It's the fact that they have every reason to believe Nine AND Sonic used them only to abandon them when they got the shard.

And this is perhaps shown best this interaction between Renegade and Sonic.

"I didn't steal the shard!"

"But your fox friend did."

Sonic had explained what happened to him to Renegade, who explained it to Rebel. Despite this, Rebel still saw him as a backstabber, angry enough to want to leave him at the mercy of the chaos council or turn him "into a handbag". Why?

Well, remember that Renegade and Rebel's first introduction to Nine was Nine bringing his and Sonic's friendship status into question. Whether they believed the two to truly be friends then, they did see the two conversing at the red crystal before Sonic disappeared and Nine left them high and dry. So even if Sonic hadn't purposely left them, I don't think it's a stretch here to say that Rebel and Renegade had assumed the two planned to leave Renegade, Rebel, and Rusty behind. Perhaps Sonic didn't make off with the shard, and perhaps he couldn't help his disappearance, but his partner made off with it.

Rebel and Renegade don't know Sonic, especially not like the audience does. Both with the knowledge they had at hand AND to deal with what was a shocking betrayal to them, Rebel and Renegade considered Nine and Sonic to both be traitors. This is also not to mention that despite Sonic's new testimony of his disappearance and his surprise that Nine would leave Rebel, Rusty, and Renegade to die, he wouldn't give Nine up to them.

Sonic has to try really hard, advocate for himself after a score of disappearances, and help the rebels a number of times for Renegade and Rebel to even consider that he's telling the truth about his helping them.

Likewise, Nine doesn't advocate for himself (or really care to). He swoops in to fight, takes Sonic to disappear again. He swoops in to fight for a bit, and then is captured by the Chaos Council.

And not only do Rebel and Renegade not know he was captured specifically, they did not see it. Earlier, before the battle, they made it clear that the red shard could not fall into the Chaos Council's clutches, or everything would be done for. Renegade even probed Sonic for Nine's location so they could make sure Nine would never give it to the coucil (even despite Sonic's testimony that Nine would never do that). Not only does Nine's capture give the Coucil the red shard, it gives them the secrets to interdimensional travel and makes them more of a threat than before.

This is all to say that, on top of the fact that Nine doesn't try to change their opinion of him as a traitor, as far as they know (influenced by their own biased impressions of him) Nine started working with the Chaos Council, betrayed them all again to get ahead.

We the audience know just as Sonic does that Nine was captured, and that he used his status to aid Sonic and their search for the prism shards from the inside.

Rebel and Renegade do not.

In fact, (now starting from Season 2 Episode 5), Rebel and Renegade are both distrustful of Sonic when he tries to tell them this (and the fact that they see it as his fault that the Council nabbed more prism shards doesn't help)

"I'm gonna bust into the Yoke, grab the shards, and rescue Nine!"

"The fox with the attitude? The one who stole the shard?"

"I...know he's a little rough around the edges..."

"It's not just the edges."

"But he saved you!"

"And then he disappeared again."

"Because he was captured! We can trust him."

"Him? We don't even trust you."

Nine's actions matter to them, and those actions color their perception of Nine for a while. Same goes for Sonic. Their trust is not easily won back after being broken.

The only reason they decide to travel to the Yoke with Sonic in the first place is because they need to make sure the Coucil doesn't keep the shards, and Sonic is going there to try to take them anyways. They don't trust him, but they do need him.

Later in the episode, "Nine" contacts Sonic to tell him of a way into the Council's fortress. We can safely infer that this "Nine" who contacts Sonic is not the real thing. The voice sounds at best like a robotic imitation, and the way "Nine" talks is suspect enough for Sonic to mention that he sounds weird and to ask if he's okay. But not only do Rebel and Renegade have no reason not to believe that this is the real Nine leading Sonic into the Yoke, Sonic himself vouches for him.

"My inside fox is gonna get us in. Come on!"

"'Bring your friends.' Why would he say that?"

"Because he's a nice guy? I told you, we can trust him."

"Not like we have another option."

Whether Rebel believes that's the real Nine or not, she suspects Sonic is being led into a trap. Even Renegade says he "doesn't like this" and mentions how ominous everything feels when the doors into the Yoke open. They only go along with Sonic because they have no other ways to get into the building.

But lo and behold, it's a trap. Sure we the audience know that this is the Chaos Coucil's doing, that Mr. Dr. tricked Nine into giving him info about Sonic that would spark the idea of Chaos Sonic's creation. We know Nine regrets this slip up and even apologizes to Sonic later for being responsible for Chaos Sonic's creation, and we know Sonic doesn’t doubt Nine's telling the truth.

But to Rebel and Renegade? Sonic just followed his so called "inside fox" right into a trap. It plays into how they already see him, just as Sonic's forced transports to the other shatterspaces before this (via touching the shards) continued to play into how they already saw Sonic as a deserter. They distrust Nine for valid reasons, but it’s because of this distrust and their ideas of who Nine is that they believe the worst of him, even when the audience can see that Nine isn’t intending on betraying any given person.

And Chaos Sonic doesn’t help this view of Nine that Rebel and Renegrade have either.

"Failure? You've got the wrong hedgehog, pal."

"Au contraire, blue hair. I know a fox that might disagree with you."

"Another trap. I knew that fox would set us up!"

So when Nine contacts Sonic himself later...

"Sonic! Are you there?"

"Sorry, pal, but I'm a little busy at the moment."

"I have a plan. Follow my directions and lead it to me."

"Ya sure?"

"Positive. But you gotta hurry!"

"What else is new?"

Here's what Renegade, Rebel, and Dread have to save about it.

"Sonic, wait!"

"Ugh. I'm starting to think he likes traps."

"Aye. He does."

Again. We the audience know this isn't a trap. After following Nine's directions, Nine uses the prism energy to blast and destroy Chaos Sonic after this.

But Rebel and Renegade don't trust Nine. They see this as Sonic falling into all of Nine's traps out of naive trust.

And Dread only agrees because he did use Sonic's trust to lead him into a trap. Dread hasn't met Nine, but if others think this is a trap, he has no reason to believe anything other than Nine being another person weaponizing Sonic's blind trust.

And aside from when Renegade saves Sonic and Nine from Dread later, this is the last time Renegade or Rebel see/hear about Nine. Sometimes Nine really does betray their trust, sometimes Nine is truly trying to help Sonic, but after the initial betrayal, everything Renegade and Rebel see (in regards to Nine’s words and actions) plays into their point of view of Nine as a traitor.

Rebel and Renegade aren't insisting that Nine is going to betray Sonic because they're right and Nine is "secretly evil" and going to do just that or whatever. Sonic isn’t ignoring the "bad" things that Nine did only for Sonic to be punished with Nine being a bad traitor villain all along.

Rebel and Renegade keep insisting that Nine is a traitor because he left them behind, because he doesn't care about them, AND because every bit of evidence they see (a miniscule bit compared to what the audience sees) just so happens to play into their existing biased view of him.

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Let's move on to Rusty Rose.

Now this portion is shorter, as she only has a single run in with Nine. This singular run in is during the first few episodes when Nine takes control of her to help him, Sonic, Rebel, and Renegade fight.

Now here's something important about Rusty we learn in Season 2.

1. Loyalty matters to her.

2. She can choose her own alignment.

Rusty Rose's lines to Sonic when he's in the Chaos Council's clutches, in addition to the fact that the Chaos Council turned her into a fighting machine, gives us a hint as to what's going on here.

"Survival required adaptation, as you will soon learn."

Rusty Rose has always cared about her well-being. But to those she is loyal to, she would give even her life. This is to say that whether she gave herself up as the Chaos Council's weapon for her own survival or whether they saved her and she decided to work with them because of this (and because they'd destroy her otherwise), she is loyal to them. At baseline, she is loyal because she believes they will never betray her, that they will always come for her.

How exactly do we learn this?

In season 2, while Dread and his crew still have Rusty Rose in captivity, she insists the Chaos Council will come for her, and even becomes smug when the council comes for the shard.

The chaos council has come for me and the shard. Just as I said they would."

But in the end, the Chaos Council chooses to leave her after obtaining the shard. She seems surprised that they would betray her, even after following every order to the best of her ability and acting as they had programmed her to. And so, after the Council deserts her, she changes her loyalty (her eye turns pink from the red color) and decides to join Dread's crew.

This scene mirrors a point in the first few episodes.

When Nine briefly reprograms Rusty to work for him, her lone eye changes to the color yellow. Likewise, she's loyal to Nine and the rest and follows orders. And although we don't get to see her face in the Season 2 Episode 5 flashback when Nine emerges with the red shard as we do with Rebel and Renegade, we DO see her face when Nine leaves. If you look back to the screenshot I provided in the Rebel and Renegade section of this essay, you'll see that she looks sad and disappointed. She was betrayed and left behind too.

And what does she do when Nine leaves her behind? She restores her Chaos Council programming and her eye turns red again. She returns back to the only people she can seem to trust to value her.

So Rusty may not have spent much time with Nine, but loyalty matters to her. So all Rusty likely knows of Nine as of the ending of Season 2 is that he betrayed her.

I think with this in mind, it's safe to say that she has no reason to like him or believe in him at the moment either, even if she doesn't subscribe to common ideas of morality either. He betrayed his crew and it's as simple as that (and that's why she has no problem blasting Sonic when Dread frames him as a traitor).

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Now for the Chaos Council.

Now, I think it's clear given the fact that they appropriated his tech and that Mr. Dr. Eggman (in S2 E6) referred to Nine as having a "less dull mind than the usual rifraff", the Council at the very least sees Nine as someone who is a bit more intelligent than most of New Yoke's citizens. Given that their goals are to continuously conquer and *gestures to all that they're doing* they're less concerned with morals and more concerned with their own goals. This means that they just dislike/hate anyone who gets in their way. Things like morals, relationships, etc are all things to manipulate to get what you want (if Mr. Dr. Eggman's talks with Nine are any indication).

So. How does the Council see Nine? Do they see him as someone secretly about to or willing to betray Sonic?

Let's start with their first impressions of Nine (or rather, how they will remember him).

In Season 1 Episodes 1 and 2, while Nine and Sonic are captured, Nine's life and wellbeing is largely used as motivation for Sonic to follow the Council's orders. Aside from this, though, most of the focus (the camera and the Council's) is on Sonic. So, from the events of Episode 2 and 3 of season 1 where Sonic, Nine, Renegade, Rebel, and Rusty fight their way to the red shard, it's simple enough for the Council to consider them all friends (sans Rusty). Doesn't matter if they actually are. They work together (and with Sonic who considers them all friends), so they might as well be friends to the Council. This is not to mention how Mr. Dr. watches Sonic and Nine enter where the shard is, are aware via the power shutting off that their energy crystal has been stolen, and then Sonic and Nine are the two that disappear before the Council can capture them. So at the very least Nine is...cunning. In their minds, he's smart enough to take the power crystal, but not so smart as to clash with the Council's egos.

Now, whether they knew only Nine had taken the red shard or they assumed both Nine and Sonic had coordinated (like Rebel and Renegade had originally assumed), it doesn't really matter here. In S1 E6, Sonic appears (clearly shardless) mentioning the existence of other shards and asking where Nine is (thus indicating he doesn't know where Nine and the red shard are). Then, during the Chaos Council vs Sonic + Resistance battle after this, Nine appears out of a portal with the red shard upon his craft.

And if they hadn't seen "the fox who stole the shard" as Sonic's friend before, there is clear evidence can see between now and the Mr. Dr. Eggman/Nine talk that leads to Chaos Sonic’s creation that they do now.

In Episode 8 of Season 1, the Council discusses eliminating Sonic in pursuit of their conquest, but Nine voices his dissent.

"Agreed. With our work complete, I'll give our girl-bot the go ahead on Operation Elimination."

"Tch. Eliminating the hedgehog is a bad idea."

"Arguing for the life of your friend? What a shock."

After this, Nine argues against the idea that he and Sonic are friends, but he ultimately convinces the council not to eliminate him outright.

"You sent your robots to another shatterspace. Big difference. You've only barely accomplished what he's done without any technology. He's a living shatter battery!"

*The power in the yoke dies briefly, and the coucil members each groan/make sounds of frustration*

"Til we know why he gives off this power, we need him alive. What? H– Grahck!"

*An eggforcer shocks Nine*

"The rat's right. Too many questions for us to start playing exterminator. At least...not until after we wring every ounce of shatterjuice out of that blue varmint."

Not only does he smile in talking about Sonic's accomplishments, but, if you check the end of this scene, Nine lowers his head when the council laughs over Dr. Done It's final statement, he grits his teeth, and he frowns.

In Episode 4 of Season 2, the Council brings Nine out front, and Mr. Dr. sits there when Sonic arrives to see him.

"Nine?"

"Sonic, get out of here!"

*The Eggforcers shock Nine*

"No..."

In fact, when Mr. Dr. threatens the lives of Sonic’s friends if Sonic doesn’t give over the shard, he pointedly leans in Nine's direction as the eggforcers ready their electricity based weapons.

"I'll make this simple."

*Mr. Dr. Eggman moves his chair closer to where Nine is*

"Hand over the shard, or say good bye to your friends forever."

In case you don't go back to watch the episode for this, also note that he begins to lean over during the "to your friends" part of the line, and Nine is the only one of Sonic’s friends in view of the camera as Mr. Dr. gives the ultimatum. The camera only shifts to include Sonic's captured friends after shifting between Nine and Sonic's expressions, and after Sonic turns around to look at them.

So I don't think it's a stretch to say that Mr. Dr. Eggman thinks Sonic and Nine are friends by this point. At the very very least he knows Sonic considers Nine one, given how comfortable he is using Nine as leverage.

Anyhow, in all of the Nine/Chaos Council scenes between his initial capture and the scene where Mr. Dr. asks Nine how to defeat Sonic, the council isn't fully aware of Nine contacting Sonic. This means they are not yet aware of his continued contact with Sonic and do not know what the audience knows about Nine's working them from the inside. They just make Nine upgrade their shatterdrive, remark that they keep him around for his knowledge on the shatterdrive, make him deploy eggforcers, and then keep him cuffed with eggforcer supervision at all times (should he try to escape). They don't trust him enough to keep him uncuffed and completely unsupervised, and they need his knowledge regarding the shards, but they underestimate him. Dr. Don't provides him full access to their systems, even when they leave Nine alone with Eggforcers, they aren't monitoring what Nine could be saying/doing behind their back, and they seem to think they have Nine under their thumbs enough to destroy him should he attempt to fight back.

Let's move on to Season 2 Episode 5.

In Nine's first appearance in this episode, he's led into the room the Council is in by some Eggforcers and employs his "attitude".

"Ahem. You rang for me?"

"How long are we putting up with him?"

"He's built us what we want. Get rid of him already."

"Now, now. We're going to put him to work. But this one posseses a—shall we say—less dull mind than the usual riff-raff. He'll appreciate this."

Then, the council gives Nine a demonstration of the power they possess with the three shards in their possessions and uses it to build upgraded eggforcers for the purpose of quashing Sonic and the resistance. What is the purpose of this in tandem with Mr. Dr. Eggman's "compliment"? I think the next scene involving Nine and the council gives us a bit more context to form an idea.

During this scene, we see that the council has Nine standing before their display, watching Sonic and the resistance fight upgraded bots in the scareport.

"Enjoying the show?"

"It won't be enough."

"Enough?! Balderdash! My jumbo eggforcers will pound that varmint into blueberry jelly!"

"We'll see."

"Yes. We will."

With the combination of "complimenting" Nine, showing off their power and harnessing of the shards after discussing the topic of getting rid of him, and making him watch the upgraded bots fight Sonic, it's clear to me that they're making a power play here (or at least, Mr. Dr. Eggman is). Mr. Dr. is trying to make it clear the might they possess, the futility of rebellion or of trying to disobey orders.

But here, after Nine says "We'll see", I think Mr. Dr. decides to swap tactics a little. They're still trying (and failing) to defeat Sonic, and Nine seems to believe no matter what that Sonic will come out on top. Perhaps Mr. Dr. at least realizes that their display of power is not scaring Nine into submission or causing him to give up on Sonic.

"You admire him, don't you? For all of your bluster, you think of him as a friend. Funny. I thought you were smart."

And I don't see any reason why Mr. Dr. Eggman would lie about an observation like this. If it was about aligning Nine as Sonic's friend while Nine is secretly planning to betray Sonic or doesn't like him, then the focus wouldn't be on Nine's intelligence. To reiterate, Nine's friendship status (or at least, whether he believes Sonic to be his friend) is not put into question so much as how "smart" of a move it is to place his faith and friendship in Sonic. It's manipulation tactic to put Nine's trust in Sonic into question, to again try to get him to lose faith in Sonic. Why? Well...why else? Nine is Sonic's "friend" to the Council, right? So Nine is their best chance at figuring out how to destroy Sonic.

"We both know that the other members of the council won't stop Sonic. They lack vision and imagination. Unlike you."

"You think I have vision and imagination?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps you're just a stupid fox. Alone. Useless. Pathetic."

Here it's incredibly clear the way Mr. Dr. is trying to use Nine's insecurities against him. Even if he's only guessing, talking up or insulting his intelligence and talents or playing into a possible fear of loneliness and uselessness is a really good guess.

But when Nine gets ahold of himself, uses his tails to gain height and push Mr. Dr. back this time, and insults the Council's intelligence, Mr. Dr. resorts back to brute force. He laughs off the insults and brandishes one of those electricity based weapons.

"Tell me how to defeat Sonic!"

Of course, if Nine was only using Sonic for his own purposes of gathering the shards and secretly planning on betraying him, he could have done so at any point before now, or made it clear that he's set the plans in motion. But since we know Nine's confident in his ability to fight for himself and escape during episode 6 of season 2, he believes himself to have more control over his situation than anyone else does. With this in mind, as long as he's guaranteed a clean enough getaway with the shards he can choose to do so. This gives Nine the ability to manipulate the council back and use them to get the shards. And, to an extent, he does! Although Sonic fails in securing any of them, Nine puts himself in a position to use the council to get anything he wants, even telling Sonic that he's working them from the inside. With this in mind, while there is still risk involved, I believe that he doesn’t necessarily need Sonic's help.

This is all to say that any of these moments in Season 2 Episode 5 would have been a fine point to betray Sonic by telling the council everything he knows about him. The council is full of idiots (to Nine)—idiots with power, but idiots nonetheless. He very well could have used the council to get Sonic out of the way while continuing to play them so he could escape with all the shards.

And yet not only does he refuse to knowingly tell Mr. Dr. Eggman any weaknesses of Sonic’s, he trusts Sonic. Just see the way he's so sure Sonic will win, even as Mr. Dr. Eggman is trying to make him feel stupid for doing so. See how Nine talked about Sonic in S1 E8, tried to convince the council they’d be idiots to get rid of Sonic. See the way that Nine chooses to risk his own plans by contacting Sonic as regularly as he can. See just how Nine talks about Sonic when Mr. Dr. Eggman stops attempting to appeal to Nine's insecurities to get him to lose trust in Sonic:

"You can't. He's too fast. He thinks on his feet. No matter what you throw at him, he takes it. No matter how hard you hit him, he always gets back up! You'll never beat Sonic, because you can't understand him. You don't think like he thinks. You're not even in the same league.

And what does Nine do when Mr. Dr. Eggman and the Council treat those words as if he sold Sonic out (knowingly or not)? He tries to take it back. He says "what have I done?" He immediately tries to contact Sonic (likely to warn him), not realizing Dr. Don't had entered the room until he's caught in the act.

"Warning your friend? Not cool."

He doesn’t at all look pleased watching the Council create Chaos Sonic. He says "what have I done?" a second time while watching Sonic fight Chaos Sonic. Even Dr. Done It regards Nine's "selling out your blue chum" as a slip of the tongue.

And what does the Council do when they learn that Nine's been in contact with Sonic all along? Well they use this relationship to their advantage, of course.

Ah, ah, ah. Let's not be hasty. The fox can lure Sonic right to us."

After all of this, from now until the ending of season 2, here is what the council knows about Nine. They know he managed to steal all the shards out from under them again (with Sonic's assistance), and they pretty much just attempt to track him down to take the shards back. After arriving at Ghost Hill, they put most of their focus on fighting Sonic and Shadow to get to where Nine is with the shards, dealing with their immediate obstacles. They're also firmly antagonistic against Nine, as he's stolen the shards from them and is no longer under their control.

So let's summarize what we can safely assume the Council knows and believes by the Ghost Hill battle. Nine is intelligent, and his know-how and tech are extremely useful. They'd underestimated him, allowing him to steal the shards under their noses, contact Sonic to feed him information, and escape with said shards. They know that Nine trusts Sonic, considers Sonic a friend (at the very least), and believes Sonic will come out on top.

So we return to those questions.

How does the Chaos Council see Nine? As a tool to be used for his information, his intelligence, his technology, and his limbs, capable of performing work. They see him as Sonic's friend (an important one at that). He's bait for Sonic, a pawn that can be used to lure Sonic or motivate him to make certain choices. He's to be used when he can be, and to be crushed if he opposes the Council or is no longer useful.

Do they see him as someone secretly about to or willing to betray Sonic? Do they try to get Nine to betray him? Yes! They command him to dispatch eggforcers and upgrade their tech. They use his well-being as a bargaining chip or to lure Sonic into a trap. They're constantly using him against Sonic. They can see he has the potential to betray, which is exactly why Mr. Dr. appeals to his insecurities to persuade Nine to give up information on Sonic and let go of his trust in Sonic. And yet...they don't seem to think Nine is actively planning to betray Sonic. If they thought so, why spend so much time trying to convince him that placing faith in Sonic is stupid? Why not actively try to persuade Nine to work with them instead? Why do they keep on having to try? Why do they enjoy watching Nine protest as they laugh about how Nine betrayed Sonic? (And why does the insuation that it's all Nine's fault that the council could destroy Sonic get to him the way it does?)

ㅤ

Let's talk about Shadow the Hedgehog.

Shadow (similar to Rebel and Renegade) is a character than people often forget to consider the full pov of. This is to say that I've seen people forget what it is exactly that Shadow knows, and what of his knowledge informs his actions and beliefs (like people believing that Shadow was stupid for thinking that getting Nine's tech would allow him to traverse the shatterverse, forgetting that he didn't even have a tenth of the knowledge Sonic does of everything going on, much less the audience's, by season 2).

So with this in mind, before Shadow and Sonic talk at the beginning of Season 2, what does Shadow know about Nine, and how does he act based upon this knowledge?

Before Season 2, we, the audience, largely see Shadow appear in either flashbacks or trying to talk to Sonic (which happens when he starts to run fast enough to exit the shatterspace or is hurled through the in between after touching a shard), so it’s hard to know the extent of what he knows or can even gather in those moments of communication. Luckily, Season 2 Episode 1 gives us a chance to see some things from Shadow's point of view.

Unluckily, it's a bit hard to determine what exactly Shadow can hear and see at this point, as the first Shadow pov sprinkles in a couple moments Shadow most likely could not have seen (but we cannot rule out him seeing)—moments that tell the audience what point in time everything is occurring. One such moment is when Shadow is chilling on a crystal in the space between the shatterspaces and we see the scene of Sonic being sucked into the red shard before he shoots out of the New Yoke portal entrance. This is to say, it's hard to know for sure whether Shadow is aware of all of the scenes that play out for the audience, such as the clips that play as Shadow punches the entrance to New Yoke (Sonic losing control of his feet/legs, the shot of Mr. Dr. watching Sonic run, etc).

What we can glean from context, though (during this portion, as well as later moments) is that Shadow can at the very least see and hear Sonic, even possibly some of his surroundings (within limits). At the beginning of Episode 1 of Season 2, we can see Sonic sort of partially phase through the portal and into the in between when he runs fast enough (parallel to how Shadow can begin to partly phase into the shatterspace from Sonic's pov if Shadow is around him). During Season 2, namely during the No Place portion as Sonic tries to make off with the blue shard, we can even watch Shadow hold a conversation with Sonic and see changes to his appearance (such as the red dot of light on Sonic as Dread's crew aims to blast him). And finally, during Season 2 Episode 1, Shadow admits that he saw Nine in his lab giving Sonic the tech and the lab Sonic ran fast in (scenes that played for the audience while Shadow was busy punching the New Yoke portal).

Okay, so let's consider what we can see before Shadow confronts Sonic in the space between. At the very very least, he's aware that Sonic has new tech on his gloves and shoes and can hear everything Sonic says when Shadow manages to reach him through the portals. At the very most, he has some strange unexplained telepathy that allows him to see and hear some of what Sonic sees and hears. Of course, I don't personally believe the latter, as this hasn't really come up or been explained. So in my opinion, at most he can just see and hear what's going on and Sonic’s surroundings within certain limits. Under this interpretation, I believe that it's possible he saw and heard some of the scenes the audience sees here such Nine talking about energy, Sonic losing control, etc (if his admittance of seeing Nine and Sonic in the lab as Nine puts the regulators on Sonic is anything to go by).

So what does this mean for Shadow's knowledge? I believe it's safe to infer that, from Shadow's pov, the tech Sonic got from the strange version of Tails (Nine) has some sort of effect on him (as Sonic started to move through shatterspaces after this).

The next piece of knowledge we know Shadow could learn is the existence of alternate versions of people in the different shatterspaces. When Shadow finally gets ahold of Sonic, Sonic (loudly) starts trying to sus out whether Shadow is "grumpy Shadow" or "Shadow who needs a shower" or "Sheriff Shadow" or whoever. Then, after this, he realizes that this is the original Shadow he's faced with.

"Shadow, you're...you! The real you!"

"The only me."

This is info enough for Shadow to learn there are other versions of people they (Sonic and Shadow) know out in the shatterspaces. It's even enough context to assume that they are copies of the real thing, fakes, if Sonic's wording of "the real you" is anything for him to go by.

Here are the next two bits of information to add to Shadow's abilities and what he knows (one we learn about Shadow, and one tidbit that adds to Shadow's knowledge). The first is a bit of a testimony of just what he can see when Sonic kicks up a lot of prism energy.

"Have...you been able to see me this whole time?"

"Not exactly. When you get going fast, you kick up prism energy, and it thins the veil to the void. It's like it's...opening a portal through the gateway."

So, at the very least, we know that Shadow can't just see Sonic whenever he wants, and hasn't been doing so the whole time. As Sonic kicks up prism energy by running fast, it thins the veil to the place in between, allowing Sonic and Shadow to see each other.

The second bit would be Shadow hearing about Nine for the first time.

"So that must be how I teleported into No Place. I was looking for Nine, I started running fast, and then, suddenly, I portaled out of New Yoke."

This isn't a lot, but it at least tells us that the existence of Nine has entered the equation here. A being that Sonic knows by name who exists in one of the shatterspaces, and someone that Sonic was specifically looking for.

Now, I want to bring up something interesting about Shadow's pov after he and Sonic enter Ghost Hill. Aside from some possible tidbits here and there (and more than likely experience solely through seeing and talking to Sonic), the bulk of Shadow's experiences with the shatterspaces are based upon his experience with Ghost Hill (the only shatterspace he can enter at this time).

"What’s wrong with them?"

"It's a shatterspace, Sonic. Just like the others. A cruel version to make us suffer."

"A cruel version to make us suffer"

That line alone gives us more insight into Shadow's pov. While we, the audience, can see that the existence of those who live in the shatterspaces aren't inherently existing out of cruelty/to mess with someone like Sonic, Shadow has only seen what Ghost Hill is like. This tells us that Shadow sees Ghost Hill as a cruel version of Green Hill, an imitation that allows you to see but not have. It shows you the places and faces and voices you know, but none of it is "real" (or in this case, the original). It's not even surprising for Shadow to feel that this is cruel or purposeful. I mean, he is the one trapped, unable to do anything, as Sonic just so happens to be the one with the power to fix anything. He is the one who's doomed to watch the shatterverse change while he can't do a thing about it. And so of course the only shatterspace he can enter tricks him into thinking it may have been home (the home that's gone). Of course that shatterspace is filled with imitations that seem like what he lost but cannot be.

While Sonic is on his hero's journey, Shadow is stuck in a genre more psychological. So of course, via his experiences being stuck and his only experience with one of the shatterspaces, he'd assume the entire shatterverse was designed this way.

So, to sum this up a little bit. It is entirely likely that Shadow sees the inhabitants of the shatterverse as not only fake copies, but of those whose existence is part of a cruel game to make he and Sonic suffer over the shattering of the prism and the loss of their home. Does this make sense? It not only inherently hurts, but it’s designed to be cruel.

Shadow has only met the "ghosts" of Ghost Hill at this point. He doesn't fully know what we the audience know—that the inhabitants of the shatterspaces are real people with lives and backstories.

Now, with all of this in mind, how does Shadow first approach Sonic regarding the knowledge he has? Remember. It's, baseline, that Sonic can enter shatterpaces while he can't, Sonic started moving through shatterspaces after obtaining the tech on his gloves and shoes from a being who resembles Tails, Sonic creates portals and thins the veil between shatterspaces and the void when he runs fast, that "Nine" is an inhabitant of one of the shatterspaces Sonic knows and looked for at some point, that Ghost Hill is the only shatterspace he can enter, that Ghost Hill resembles and immitates Green Hill to a degree of cruelty, and that he believes that all the shatterspaces are "cruel" versions of his and Sonic’s home with fake versions of people they know, crafted specifically to make the two of them suffer.

"Yeah...yeah, that could work! It has to work! We gotta show Nine. He's like super smart! He knows a ton about prism energy. He–"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why 'no'? I just said he's, like, super smart."

"He can’t be trusted."

If there's one bit from the Shadow portion so far I need to point out, it's this. Shadow asserts that Nine cannot be trusted. Shadow has never even met Nine at this point, only seen him standing in the lab with Sonic. How can he be so sure that Nine—or the other inhabitants for that matter—are specifically untrustworthy? Not even just fake imitations. Untrustworthy.

Why does Shadow jump to this conclusion?

"What are you talking about? Of course he can. He's just like Tails. He's just a little...angsty, that's all."

Again, there is no proof that Shadow has even seen much more than maybe an image of Nine, much less met him. Sonic's sticking up for Nine's attitude again, just like he did when talking to Rebel and Renegade, but Shadow cannot even know much of anything about Nine. He should not have a bias (beyond looks) based upon knowing Nine.

And this also means that, most likely, Shadow cannot assert that Nine is untrustworthy due to any solid evidence like Rebel or Renegade can, for example.

"He's not Tails. He's Nine. And they're not. Your real. Friends."

"Dude. He's real. This is his reality. And you know what else is real? Nine's tech on my kicks and punching sticks. So back up off Nine."

So, again. Why does Shadow jump to the conclusion that Nine and the other inhabitants of the shatterspaces are untrustworthy? This is what I think based upon the evidence we've gathered in this section.

I believe that it's entirely possible that Shadow sees himself stuck in a psychological horror. Based on his experiences living in the shatterverse so far, this reality they're in is like a punishment game. He and Sonic are both being punished for how Sonic shattered the paradox prism. Their home is gone, everything is broken. Unless they can fix it, the shatterverse is the setting of this cruel game, filled with shatterspaces (pale imitations of the home they lost) and the copies—fake beings—who inhabit it that were created with the sole purpose of hurting Sonic and Shadow. They hold similarities of the settings and the faces of the people they know as if to taunt (or to remind what they lost and cannot have). Logically under this framework, if Shadow believes that the inhabitants of the shatterverse have an inherently cruel existence and exist to make them hurt, then them seeming real is a distraction from the fact that they're designed to hurt (think...how Yen Sid tells Sora in Kingdom Hearts 2 that Nobodies are fake people, and any emotion they show is a manipulation tactic to make people believe that they're real). But Sonic is not only acting like they're real, considering them friends, he's trusting them. Perhaps Shadow feels...angry, because the only other "real" person (the one who caused all this) keeps chasing these living lies and believing them when they say/act like they can help end this hurt (help "fix" everything, restore it to how it used to be). Perhaps to him, these people (Nine included) are beings who wish to bring hurt, so why, then, would they help end that hurt or erase their own existences by "fixing" everything? Maybe Shadow thinks Sonic is being stupid, that he's placing his trust in Nine only because he sees Tails' face (falling for the lie), and is also angry because Sonic would stick up for and trust Nine rather than believe him—someone who is real and wants to end the hurt.

Okay okay, I'll stop there for now. That's moreso an interpretation I think you can derive from the beginning of Episode 1 of Season 2 up to this point rather than necessarily fact or authorial intent. I just think it's...food for thought.

Of course I also happen to think that Shadow, with his limited knowledge of who Nine even is, also chooses to insist that Nine specifically is untrustworthy because he becomes jealous that Sonic values a "fake" so much and thinks of him so highly, trusting him even over Shadow (someone who is real and clearly just wants to help Sonic as well as fix everything).

In any case, here are the facts up to this point. Shadow has heard Nine's name, knows the tech on Sonic was designed by him, watched Nine put the tech on Sonic, thinks this tech Nine created allows Sonic to traverse the shatterverse, and knows Nine is smart and "like Tails" because Sonic speaks highly of him. With this evidence, Shadow believes Nine is untrustworthy. He also believes the inhabitants of the shatterspaces aren't real and cannot be Sonic's friends. Shadow also grows angry when Sonic tries to argue and assert that Nine is trustworthy and that he and his other friends are real.

After Season 2 Episode 1, Shadow takes more of a backseat role. While we get to see his pov at times, or even watch him talk to Sonic, he can only see inside the shatterspaces to any extent while Sonic is kicking up enough prism energy. This, of course, means that Shadow is still not privy to most of the information Sonic and the audience are.

In Season 2 Episode 2, Shadow (to our knowledge) is not privy to much going on. In fact, with what we know about the limitations he has of seeing inside the shatterspaces, he could have seen during the portions Sonic is particularly speeding, but none of these occur in relation to Nine. This is all to say that we the audience could see the scene where Nine contacted Sonic through the eggforcer, explained how he was infiltrating the Council from the inside, and upgraded Sonic's tech to make gathering the shards easier, but Shadow does not.

Here is the only conversation between Nine and Sonic in Episode 2 of Season 2 that Shadow was privy to any of.

"Hang on, Nine. I'm comin' for ya."

"No. Don't worry about me. I'm working on a plan to get the shards from the inside. The best thing for you to do is to get the next shard before they do."

"Are you sure?"

"Totally! These eggheads are playing into my hands. They don't—"

"—been dowloading their tech. You just need to get to the shard first, then get out. I better go."

At that last bit of dialogue (beginning with "You"), Sonic lands on a crystal out in the place between. After Nine hangs up on him, the camera zooms out, revealing Shadow standing on the shard next to him.

"That's the first time one of them has made any sense."

It's hard to know for sure how long Shadow has been listening to Sonic's conversation, but given just how far away he'd have to be stalking Sonic when he exits Boscage maze (far enough to hear without being within range of the camera), I think it's safe to assume he's at least listened to the lines Nine and Sonic spoke as Sonic landed on that piece of crystal. That line specifically was Nine instructing Sonic to get the No Place shard before the Chaos Council does, which lines up with the immediate goal Sonic and Shadow would have. This is to say that if Shadow heard this line at least, it makes sense for him to "compliment" Nine by saying that he makes any sort of sense.

Although I also believe Shadow says "That's the first time one of them has made any sense" because Nine is one of the first inhabitant of the shatterverse Shadow's heard that isn't exactly like the "ghosts" of Ghost Hill (essentially, seems to actually think rather than repeating a single line endlessly.

What this scene adds to Shadow's knowledge is that no matter how much of the convo he heard, he has reason to believe that Nine is also seeking the paradox prism shards. However, just because Shadow knows a motivation of Nine's and more of what he's like doesn't mean he trusts him. Or, at least, Sonic takes Shadow's attitude as him still being openly distrustful of Nine. Given how short Shadow is with Sonic, even spin dashing him into the No Place portal entrance, I don't find it too much of a stretch to assert that his attitude here is a mixture of his frustration at not being able to go himself and the relationship/trust Sonic insists on keeping up with Nine (rather than just "how he acts usually").

"Nine's on our side, Shadow. And if you're not gonna help, you can–"

"Oh. I can help."

Although Shadow shows up in Season 2 Episodes 3 and 4 to talk to Sonic and to delay the Chaos Council's mothership's arrival in No Place, none of these really involve Nine. In any of the moments Shadow could have seen Sonic in No Place, they were Sonic running away for the most part (trying to escape with the shard), which of course doesn't exactly help the pov he has of the shatterverse inhabitants. Though Nine also contacts Sonic and is able to see him during this portion, these do not coincide with the times Shadow talks to him. Likewise, although Nine was on the mothership while Shadow was attacking it, neither of them see each other, and there is no evidence to suggest that they are aware of each other's presence (as in, that Shadow knows Nine is on the mothership and Nine knows that Shadow is the attacker). With Shadow being largely absent the way he is, it stands to reason he still has no chance to see the complexity and humanity of the shatterspaces' inhabitants, especially since he's in contact with Sonic as Sonic is running away (trying not to get killed).

As for Episodes 5 and 6 of Season 2. Shadow only shows up once between these two. Specifically, Shadow's pov is shown in Episode 6 as he reacts to how the shatterverse is beginning to break down. Other than that, though, the only moments he'd have to peek into what's happening (offscreen in this case) would be while Sonic is running fast enough. During Episode 5 and most of 6, these moments Sonic may be running fast enough for Shadow to peek in on him are all while he's fighting. This, again, doesn't give Shadow a chance to really gauge the character of New Yoke's residents (aside from the council), much less a chance to see what's going on with Nine.

Even in Episode 7 of Season 2, Shadow doesn't show up until the scene in which he properly meets Nine. With this in mind, aside from Episode 1 of Season 2, Shadow is very rarely present during Season 2 before his first official meeting with Nine.

So, to summarize, this is what Shadow knows/thinks about Nine before properly meeting him. Nine is similar to Tails (in both looks and intelligence), Nine built the tech that Sonic wears on his gloves and shoes, Sonic trusts Nine and fancies him a friend, even going so far as to stick up for the idea that he's real and trustworthy, and Nine is also gathering the paradox prism shards.

That's...it. That's all. And Shadow knew even less when he'd initially claimed that Nine wasn't trustworthy. Before their official meeting, Shadow saw Nine maybe once via what he saw during Sonic's first arrival in New Yolk, and he heard him speak once after S2 E2, when he told Sonic to focus on getting the next shard. He has...such little context/knowledge compared to the audience.

Now, the first meeting. After Sonic and Nine enter the space between with the shards in Episode 7 of Season 2, Shadow catches the container for the shards with Nine on top.

"It's about time."

"Nine, meet Shadow. Shadow, meet Nine."

"You're not another version of Sonic...but you could be twins!"

"Hardly. I am the ultimate life form."

"Don't listen to him. Come on."

Personally, I don't feel as if Shadow acts differently than usual in this scene. He doesn't talk very much, doesn't greet Nine, and isn't necessarily "friendly", but, again, none of this is out of the ordinary for him. The only thing I can confidently say here is that Sonic’s problem is Shadow's attitute, which is why he tells Nine to ignore him. However, he responds as this is a usual thing as well. "He's always like this. Just ignore him." He is also not going out of his way to be mean or vindictive towards Nine. Even Nine (despite his talking about Sonic and Shadow's resemblance) can't have done more than mildly annoy Shadow.

No, what's more significant than the first meeting (for the purposes of this essay) is actually Nine's reaction to seeing Tails in Ghost Hill.

"This world... It's like an embryonic shatterspace. Like it got stuck in the blueprint phase while forming. Hmm... Perhaps it would be useful in finishing The Grim."

"As long as I'm around, you'll always have a wingman!"

"This is the friend Sonic thought was like me? Heh. We're nothing alike."

After this interaction occurs, the camera switches to Shadow, who begins to make this face.

There are two bits from Nine's words I believe could be of interest to Shadow here.

"Perhaps it would be useful in finishing The Grim."

"We're nothing alike."

Why?

Well, let's tackle the first one. One thing that Shadow knows about Nine is that Nine is also looking for the paradox prism shards. Sonic seems to think Nine is on his side, but Shadow hasn't trusted Nine and his intentions from the beginning (as I went a bit into earlier going over Shadow's opinions on Nine as of Episode 1 of Season 2). So if Shadow did hear this line (and it's a bit unclear, but not impossible, that he did), he has reason to believe that Nine doesn't want the shards for the same reason Shadow believes himself and Sonic do. Or, at the very least, that Nine just has different goals in general.

As for the second one, Shadow told Sonic all the way back in Episode 1 that Nine isn't Tails, that he can't be trusted, and that Nine (as well as the other variants) isn't one of Sonic's "real" friends. A statement like "We're nothing alike" straight from Nine's mouth would be validating in this case. It validates Shadow's opinion that Sonic is being stupid and that Nine and Tails aren't the same, and it can easily give Shadow less reason to trust him. After all, if Tails is someone who generally is considered a "good" person or someone who would logically try to help fix everything, but Nine is not at all like him... That line could put Shadow off because he's already distrustful of him, and because of the potential implications Nine could be making from as Shadow's pov. This is to say that although Nine here is only rejecting the idea that he is just like Tails (or really, just like anyone and not his own unique being), Shadow is already biased against him. With Nine's wording, it's not hard for Shadow to insert intent/implications where there are none in his interpretation of the line.

Now, what I find interesting after this (in addition to Shadow's lack of hostility towards Nine despite his assumptions back in Season 2 Episode 1) is the attitude change.

Of course Shadow may have been angrier at Sonic back then, but he had also asserted so confidently back then that Nine isn't Sonic's friend as isn't to be trusted (and not even confidently, but as if annoyed or angry). But he...fulfill's Nine's wish to be alone with the prism shards, offers to take Sonic out, and gives him a calmer talk at the end of Episode 7 of Season 2.

"How do you know you can trust him?"

...

"I don't think your 'friend' wants the same thing we do."

Vs.

"He can’t be trusted."

...

"He's not Tails. He's Nine. And they're not. Your real. Friends."

There are a multitude of reasons this change in tone and demeanor Shadow has could be. It could be because he calmed down a bit more since S2 E1, it could be that he's decided to take a different approach when talking to Sonic about Nine, it could be that he's not so overly confident in his belief that the variants are all just "cruel versions to make us suffer" anymore after meeting Nine (or at least that the variants are so one dimensional), or it could even be that he's decided that Nine is helpful but Sonic should be more on guard. It's...hard to know which or how many are the truth here. All we know is that there is an outright change between these scenes and even Shadow's attitude, and that, despite the little interaction they've had, what Shadow's seen and heard is enough for him to come to the conclusion that Nine may not have good intentions and/or that Nine isn't actually trying to help them. Just like with Rebel and Renegade, whether Shadow has valid reasons or reasoning we can understand from his pov on Nine's character and intentions, his heavy bias he had even before meeting Nine colors all the information Shadow learns about him. This is all to say that (like Renegade and Rebel) it's easy for even actions/statements that have no inherent bad intentions to just feed back into his existing bias against Nine.

So, just in case, I'll reiterate. Shadow does have enough evidence to suspect that Nine doesn't truly share his and Sonic's goals, and he has enough pre-existing bias based upon his first impressions of the Ghost Hill variants to be suspicious of Nine's intentions and character. However, he has still barely met, seen, or heard about Nine second-hand. He knows very few facts about Nine other than how he's intelligent, is looking for the shards too, and is someone Sonic clearly has some attachment to. Yet...he seems to feel that Nine is untrustworthy (perhaps even on gut instinct) despite the lack of solid proof.

Well, actually, he doesn't just feel, this way. He actually tells Sonic that he distrusts Nine.

"What about him? We can't just leave him alone with the prism shards."

"Uhhh, yes we can, seeing as how he's the only one who can put them back together. You know, fix reality. You really don't trust him, do ya?"

"No."

"Of course you don't. You don't trust anyone."

He doesn’t actually tell Sonic why he doesn't. If anything, throughout this whole scene of them talking about Nine, he seems not to understand why Sonic does trust Nine (why he and Sonic aren't on the same page). Perhaps it just feels...obvious to Shadow? But even then, with Shadow's facial expressions as Sonic takes the "Why wouldn't we trust him?" stance, it seems to be that Shadow's point of view remains to be that of "Sonic is trusting him naively. This is something that could cost us."

Finally, we arrive at the final episode of Season 2. Despite his distrust in Nine (like Renegade and Rebel before him regarding Sonic), he has no choice but to join Sonic in the battle against the Chaos Council. First, Sonic's right in saying that Nine is the only person they have right now who can recomplete the prism. Second, he doesn't want to leave Sonic to fight the Council alone.

Now, while Sonic is in communication with Nine during the battle, he rarely talks to him around Shadow. The only moment he does is when eggforcers breach the mountain and put the prism's security and Nine's safety in jeopardy, to which Shadow only tells Sonic to go and protect the prism. Out of the two, I feel as if it's clear that Shadow trusts himself to hold his own over Sonic (I mean, he felt as if he (Shadow) was the best one to gather the shards in S2 E1, and he just made a statement about how badly the battles go when Sonic fights alone), so it makes sense why he'd send Sonic off to fight some eggforcers while he himself holds his own against the council, giving Sonic his chance to move. This is all to say that it makes sense why Shadow doesn't choose to be the one to protect the prism here, but we should also keep in mind just how in the dark Shadow is about what's happening with Nine.

In fact, Shadow isn't privy to anything happening in the prism chamber for a while. He didn't see Sonic and Nine's interaction, didn't watch Nine power Sonic up with the shard energy, Sonic didn't give him a detailed answer on how he got stronger and who was involved (only that he "got a power up"), Shadow doesn't see Nine power Sonic up to defeat the prismatic Titan, and Shadow–

Pause.

That scene in the final episode. You know, the one where Sonic returns after defeating the prismatic titan, Nine says that they were just using the blueprint to figure out what shards went where so they could complete the prism, and Sonic asserts they've actually been doing it to fix Green Hill? The part where Sonic and Nine disagree over whether it's possible to fix Green Hill, whether they should fix what was or move on and create a new home?

The part where Sonic accidentally implies Nine isn’t real to him?

A scene in which Shadow would be able to clearly see Nine's motivations?

The ENTIRE lead up to Nine taking the shards and deciding to leave Sonic behind?

Yeah ha ha...ha...ahah...

Shadow doesn't see any of that. You want to know when Shadow arrives? What he sees?

All he sees is Nine with all the shards at the edge of a portal, Sonic trying to get him to stay and Nine leaving (choosing not to trust Sonic). Practically all Shadow sees of Nine and Sonic interacting while they don't know he's there is Nine "betraying" Sonic and stealing the shards. He misses the entire complicated conversation and everything that lead up to the event.

Again, Shadow misses any nuance and any context that might allow him to see Nine more as he is. Nine leaving with the shards, betraying them and blowing off Sonic's attempts to appeal to him? It just feeds right back into Shadow's existing bias against Nine.

Shadow didn't trust Nine. He thought Sonic was naive for choosing to trust Nine. He felt that Nine didn't share the same goals as him.

Of course Nine steals the shards, betrays Sonic (who'd believed in and trusted him so so much, Shadow knows), and leaves them to die. Shadow already thought the variants were practically designed to make him and Sonic suffer, and what best to make Sonic suffer by having his trust broken by a fake wearing the face of his best friend, right?

Shadow did not have proof or real reason to believe Nine to be evil or planning to betray Sonic. He didn't even have half the physical proof Rebel and Renegade had when they decided Nine was traitorous. Shadow just always felt that Nine couldn't be trusted, and frustrated and annoyed for some reason that Sonic didn't agree.

Does this make Shadow a good judge of Nine's character? Was Shadow really right because he was seeing the signs all along, or was it because everything that happened just so happened to line up with his pre-existing bias (like back when Chaos Sonic implied Nine was involved with the trap, and Renegade assumed that Nine had set up the entire trap because of course the "traitorous fox" would)?

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For now, let's move on to the last point of view. How does Sonic see Nine? Is Sonic really just some naive hedgehog who trusted a fox—a fox who was clearly always planning to betray him—just because he wore the face of his missing best friend? Up until the end of season 2, did Sonic just refuse to see or miss all the red flags—all the signs that Nine was always going to betray him in the end?

Let's start from the very beginning. Season 1 Episode 1: Shattered.

What not a single person can overstate is how Sonic’s initial perception of every variant and their character is heavily rooted in his own bias. In this case the "bias" at hand is Sonic either assuming the variants are one of his original friends (like when he thought Nine was just Tails who had forgotten him), or somehow connected to them. In my Sonine Prime essay series I have talked a few times during S1 about how Sonic is largely going through Season 1 trying to guess what's happening around him with his limited knowledge of everything at hand, his lack of knowledge of the genre he's in, and his scrambling to explain things without there being someone like Tails to understand it for him. At first he believes Nine is Tails but missing some of his important memories. Then he believes that Nine, Rusty, Rebel, and Renegade are just his friends but "messed up" (still with the idea that they don't remember him). Then he realizes that there are multiple variants and comes to the conclusion that they are all part of the originals or contain pieces of the original deep down. Sonic’s idea of the reality of the variants continues to change until he at baseline believes they are all their own real people.

But where does Nine fit into all this? Just how much does Sonic's original perception of him as "just Tails" affect how he sees Nine by the end or season 2? Does Sonic actually just 100% see him as a replacement for Tails rather than his own person?

Well, I can answer that last question now if you wish. The answer is no, but the entire thing is eh...complicated.

In Episode 1 of Sonic Prime, after participating in an entire fight scene against Nine (who he believes to be Tails fighting him for some reason or Tails who doesn't remember him and home), Sonic explains what he knows of Tails' backstory. In return, Nine reacts as if Sonic knows details about him that no one should know, but then goes on to explain what actually happened to him. Sonic, of course, begins to have a reaction based on this.

I will remind you that, at this point in time, Sonic believes that Eggman succeeded in taking over Green Hill. He believes that this is is home, and that Nine, Rebel, Renegade, etc are his original friends.

"...Doesn't make sense. You are Tails, but– you're not... Here, but...gone?"

As of here through to the end of Episode 3, we have reason to believe that Sonic believes that Nine is Tails. He does his best to recognize Nine's preferred name, but he makes a number of references to getting the prism and "fixing all of this", refers to the New Yoke variants as "messed up yous", and at times even acts as if the variants should be/are like his original friends (as we see from the scene he starts introducing the variants under the names and traits of the originals). He quite literally believes that Nine is just Tails without his memories of Sonic. He thinks he just needs to stop eggman, get the prism, and make his "friends" remember.

While I will emphasize how much it makes sense that Sonic would approach the New Yoke variants initially with this conclusion, it will unfortunately affect how he perceives Nine forever.

In Season 2 Episode 6, Sonic returns to New Yoke. Rebel and Renegade are angry at him for leaving them behind, and (as we covered in the Rebel and Renegade section) they consider Sonic and Nine to be traitors. However, while Rebel and Renegade (understandably) label Sonic and Nine as traitors for the betrayal they witnessed, Sonic is...surprised when he learns that Nine made off with the shard.

"I didn't steal the shard!"

"But your fox friend did. Right before he left us high and dry."

"He...did?"

I'm going to refrain into digging too far into how Sonic sees Tails (as dredging up the evidence would be another essay), but, in short, we know that Tails is his best friend. Tails is smart, he helps fight Eggman for the greater good, and he'd never leave a friend behind, right?

By this episode, Sonic has shifted his idea of the variants already. He no longer thinks Nine or Rebel or Renegade are just his original friends missing their memories, but we know that he feels as if there are pieces or traits of his friends who reside in all the variants deep down. He tries to talk like Amy and get Thorn to be a "good friend" and make up with everyone. He tries to appeal to Dread and get him to join the crew's search for the blue shard, referring to that stubborn loyalty of Knuckles'.

So Sonic has already created an idea of Nine based upon his idea of Tails. Sure Nine is "a bit angsty" and a loner, but he'd never leave any friends behind or leave people in danger, would he?

Tails would never just leave everyone behind, and Sonic doesn’t want to believe that Nine would or to believe the worst of him. So to Sonic...it must all be some huge misunderstanding, right? Sonic will prove that he and Nine aren’t traitors. When he finds Nine there has to be a reasonable explanation for why he made off with the red shard and left Rebel, Rusty, and Renegade to the council's mercy.

Nine is Sonic's friend, and Sonic believes that Tails is in him deep down here. He refuses to believe that Nine is evil or doesn't care about others.

"If they get that energy crystal back, we're done for."

"Nine won't let that happen!"

...

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. But I'm not a traitor and neither is Nine. Let me prove it to you. Let me fight by your side."

He thinks so highly of Nine and believes in the good in him. Most of us agree that this is because of Sonic comparing Nine to Tails and because of how he initially started trying to pull Nine into the intelligent little buddy role. But...is this all because of Tails? Is it–?

Let's take a step back for a moment. Remember how in the previous sections I talked about the character's pre-existing biases and how Nines actions would coincidentally fit into these biases, and how I've emphasized what it is the characters actually have seen?

Well, here's the truth of the situation. Sonic didn't see Nine abandon Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty. While they're clearly angry, he has no clue what actually occured, how Nine acted, and he refuses to assume that Nine grabbed the shard and just split. And when you hear that someone you've already decided to trust (even though Sonic later updates his idea of Nine as his own person, it's due to Sonic's existing bias towards Tails that he trusted Nine in the first place) has done something awful, you'd want to see that proof or know the context. You'd want to hear what happened from the one you trust. And here's another truth about the situation. Nine up to this point has never betrayed Sonic. After they talked in the scareport after their battle, had a heart to heart, Nine proved he was no longer hostile to Sonic. Nine gave him the regulators and helped him with his little running issue. Although Nine had no way to save him when Sonic was about to be blasted back at the Yoke, when Rebel and Renegade swooped in to fight, Nine freed Sonic at his first available chance. During that entire adventure in the Yoke through to episode 3, Sonic has seen Nine work together with the others as they fight for a singular goal. Even when Nine suggested they leave the others behind to get the shard, Rebel tells Sonic the same thing right afterwards.

Aside from hearsay, Sonic (by Episode 6 of Season 1) has no reason to believe that Nine is a traitor. Nine assisting with the fight in the Yoke, helping him out—all of this feeds right back into the idea Sonic has of Nine's character. He reasonably feared that Nine would keep attacking him in episode 1 after the battle, and he reasonably believed that Nine baseline cared about the well-beings of others.

Let's look at Sonic's talks with Nine in S1 E6 after Nine picks him up from New Yoke.

(For the record, as I've already taken up quite a lot of your time here, I'm going to try to be as concise as I can with this section. But if you'd like to read a more in depth analysis of Nine and Sonic during this scene I've done, you can read Sonine Prime Part 6 here.)

As I said, Nine helping out in the battle before he picks up Sonic just feeds into Sonic's pre-existing bias. Nine very clearly only came to pick Nine up from New Yoke so he could take him to the Grim (and that's pretty much what he does the moment Sonic jumps into his cockpit). Sonic, however, already asserted to Rebel and Renegade that Nine is not a traitor and that this battle for the existence of the resistance and the citizens' hope in a better future will allow him to prove that neither he and Nine are traitorous. He doesn't know where Nine is exactly before he shows up, nor does he have real reason to believe Nine will show up during this fight, but Sonic was extremely happy Nine did. Likewise, Nine doesn't know any details about the resistance's fight with the Chaos Council. He has no real reason to believe that Sonic will just go with him and leave during the battle, but he's also very happy to see Sonic and to take Sonic's attention.

So while Nine came to New Yoke to pick up Sonic, Sonic assumed Nine came to join the fight, to help the rebels fight for a better future, and to clear their names. He's assuming that Nine shares the same intentions as him and has the same general idea of what "a good person" would do that he projects onto Nine. As for Nine, he also just kind of assumed Sonic would go along with him. When talking about the Grim to Sonic, he emphasizes that it's a clean slate, he appeals to Sonic's wish for home by talking about how it can be a new home for the two of them. In addition, he also has an idea of a "good person" he projects onto Sonic, given how he tries to appeal to that assumed nature by talking about how the two of them can create a "better world" (as opposed to New Yoke, a city that only brought Nine misery, that Nine has no hope for).

Plus, as the two traverse the area between the shatterspaces, they play tug of war with the conversation at hand. Sonic talks to Nine about how they really should get back to New Yoke to help the rebels (they're fighting an incredibly important battle at the moment). Specifically he says "we should get back" (emphasis on the "we"), and talks as if he's trying to remind Nine why they should be fighting right now and why that matters.

As for Nine, especially because he's pretty detached and doesn't know or care of the extent of what's going on in New Yoke, he keeps steering the conversation towards The Grim and what he's discovered about the shards. He keeps emphasizing that this is about creating home for the both of them together, and he also talks like he's trying to remind Sonic of "their" goals and why the creation of home here matters.

It's also worth mentioning here that Nine both does not know the extent of what's happening in New Yoke (because he wasn't there with Sonic, he didn't meet the full resistance, he doesn't know about the palm tree or the specifics of that fight of the future) and doesn't really care. He also isn't malicious about it either. He's not acting like everyone in New Yoke deserves to suffer and he's purposely leaving them there to suffer. Rather, he responds to Sonic's attempts to convince him to go back to New Yoke with him and fight by talking about how the city brought him misery and he doesn’t owe it anything. He's taking a neutral stance of "That city was not my home. It hurt me and it brought me only misery. I'm not going to go out of my way to destroy it or hurt people there. As long as people there leave me alone, then I will leave it alone. It's the city's problem if it's hurtling towards destruction, not mine."

These two are just focusing on completely different things—specifically things they emotionally invested themselves in and placed their focus in before the two met again in S1 E6. And yeah! Maybe how Nine acts during this scene should have been enough to tell Sonic that Nine doesn't care about New Yoke or saving every little person in danger. Nine does make it pretty clear that he only cares about his goal of creating a new home and better world for himself and Sonic. However, Sonic is the kind of hedgehog that not only believes in Nine's capacity for "goodness" (or how Sonic personally believes one has to be to be a "good person"), but that Nine has to be a "good person". Even before he'd accepted Nine as his own person that isn't just Tails, he'd formed that solid idea of Nine's character as someone who would naturally help people in need, and he doesn’t want to admit that the idea he has of Nine in his head is wrong.

But, even with all of that in mind, is any of this really proof or "red flags" that Nine would betray Sonic all along? Sure Sonic's ignoring here in the Grim that Nine doesn't care about New Yoke or the resistance all that much, but does Nine ever give any indication that he's just using Sonic to get the shards and was planning on exerting control over the shatterverse?

No.

Nine is happy to see Sonic. We know from S2 E7 that he very genuinely had integrated Sonic into his plans, very seriously planned to create a new home to live in with Sonic (so he wasn't lying about it). He already had two prism shards and was already experimenting with using them to alter reality in the Grim, and gave no indication he wanted more. He could have continued to shape the Grim to his will, but instead he brought Sonic there so they could do it together. When Sonic seemingly rejects his proposal to create a new world together, he seems disappointed, acts like he's been rejected, helps Sonic get back to New Yoke.

Nothing about that screams power hungry fox trying to hurt people on purpose. He got exactly what he needed (a couple shards and Sonic), and if he'd had his way right then, they would have just created a home in the Grim.

All the fox wanted was to be left alone and to be home.

During this scene, how can Sonic miss "red flags" that Nine has been "secretly evil all along" that aren't even there?

Sonic's only crime is trying to hold onto the exact idea he has of Nine as a "good person" by his own standards. And frankly, even when Sonic relents and goes to New Yoke without him, he makes it so clear that he just knows Nine will come back to fight with him, just like he knew Nine would come to help earlier (even if Nine had only actually come for him).

After their battle in S1 E1, Nine had a heart to heart with him. Nine created the regulators and helped Sonic control the energy bursting from him. Nine helped him and the rebels escape captivity/danger while they were in the Yoke, and assisted in keeping the others from harm as they all fought together. He came right in the nick of time to turn the tide of the battle for a minute in E6 of S1. And even after making it clear to the audience that he doesn’t care about New Yoke, and pushing against Sonic's internalized idea of his character, he still comes back for Sonic.

Even if he only comes back to join the fight so he can give Sonic another chance to pursue his (Nine's) goals, his coming back feeds right back into Sonic's pre-existing bias. After all, he knew Nine would come, didn't he?

Let's even go further into S2. Sonic learns that Nine got captured, and Nine makes this clear as well. He tells Sonic that he's going to use his vantage point to work the council from the inside. Both are aware of how dangerous it is for the Chaos Council to have access to so much shard energy. From the little contact Sonic has with Nine during most of this season, Nine situates himself as Sonic's inside helper and giving him direction. This is why he believes him when "Nine" leads them into the Yoke for a trap, and that's why he believes the real Nine when he leads him through the Yoke building in a plan to get rid of Chaos Sonic.

To Sonic, Nine always comes through for him, whether it's for fighting, giving him insider information, or giving him directions/plans/helping things make sense to him.

If Sonic just let himself see it, he would notice that Nine doesn't really care about anyone else but himself and Sonic, and he would know what Nine's actual goals were. Assuming that Nine naturally followed his same goals and acts regarding other people "like the real Tails would", that was Sonic's folly. That's where he was being naive and only taking in evidence that fit his bias of Nine as a good person.

But that doesn't change the fact that Nine did help people out, did help out Sonic. He prioritized his own goals over others' well-being in E6 of S1, and when he left Renegade, Rusty, and Rebel behind, but he did not do so without hesitation. It doesn't change the fact that he helped Sonic out and that Sonic had no reason to believe Nine was using him for his own purposes, because even when Nine made his true character and his goals clear, he always genuinely wanted Sonic at his side. And it doesn't change the fact that even when Nine was frustrated at Sonic, he still stuck up for Sonic. He still convinced the Chaos Council not to kill him outright. He still risks his position and safety to help Sonic, even in the face of being killed for doing so. He feels guilt and remorse for being the reason Sonic was led into a trap and attacked by Chaos Sonic. He expresses this guilt to the Chaos Council (as they jab and jeer and he goes "what have I done?"), and he expresses it to Sonic, who reiterates the trust he has in Nine.

What I'm getting at here is that Sonic’s problem was always how he didn't fully see Nine as he was, and how he just assumed Nine would go along with whatever he thought and wanted. Nine's criticism at the end of S2 was not a baseless one. However, his problem was never that he trusted Nine. No matter the place his trust in Nine began from, Sonic has never had any reason to distrust him, and, in fact, only grew to trust him more over time and Nine helped him out and proved that he cared about his well-being.

Sonic thinks Nine will go along with his goals because he's "just like Tails" and kind of assumes so.

Sonic sees "the good" in Nine and trusts that Nine is his friend because he's gotten to know Nine a bit better over time. Actions speak loud, and it says a lot that Nine continues to aid him and very specifically wants to be with him.

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Now, in the interest of not going on for too much longer, I'm not going to go piece by piece through every Nine scene to dissect exactly who he is as a person and why. Nine's exact character is an essay for another time. So for now, let's keep in mind just what we can see of Nine in the show (and in contrast to what other characters think of him).

I'm going to pose a question or two. Has Nine the Fox been secretly evil all along? Has everyone else been seeing the signs while Sonic has been blind because he doesn't want to believe "Tails" could be evil?

And now, from what we've gone over so far, here's some of what we know about Nine:

Nine isn’t the type to hurt people for no reason or out of malicious intent. He attacks in self defense and generally just wants to be left alone. Thus, if you leave Nine alone, he won't go out of his way to mess with you.

He doesn’t care about others to an extent. If he's already involved in an event, he will help out if people are in danger. However, he always pursues his goals first. He ultimately hesitates when he sees Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty captured, but ultimately chooses to secure making it out alive and with the shard over risking losing either to assist these three.

He cares very deeply about Sonic. Even when he's clearly frustrated or disappointed or says that he's not friends with Sonic, his actions show otherwise. He wanted to build a new home with Sonic, and he risked his own well-being to help Sonic in S2.

He trusts Sonic back. He believes in his ability to overcome anything, even when the Chaos Council is throwing more and more terrible robots at Sonic and trying to convince Nine that it's not worth putting faith in him.

Others actually try to convince both Sonic and Nine during the runtime of S1 and S2 that the other shouldn't/can't be trusted, and that it's idiotic to place their trust in each other. These are scenes that genuinely end up showing that each plans to stay on the other's side and features them sticking up for each other.

Nine doesn't care about others, but not in a malicious manner. He aspires to be left alone and to his own devices, to which he will leave others alone and to their own devices. Even when he's alone and not in Sonic's presence, he never expresses a wish to exert control over the shatterverse and to be its god (essentially trying to make it all better). He only wants to create his ideal home with Sonic away from everything that hurt him.

He rejects the idea that he is exactly like Tails.

He actively seeks and even becomes smug/happy when he gets Sonic's attention. Being considered Sonic's friend or even a best friend is important to him.

The only ulterior motive he ever presents in helping out Sonic is when doing so allows him to get the home he desires, a desire that he includes Sonic in on for the bulk of the runtime. Essentially, he sees Sonic as a collaborator in a goal that includes them both.

So now, I pose the question to you reading this. Has Nine the fox been secretly evil all along?

Personally, I think not. He's not a "good person", but to be evil one has to have a specific kind of malicious intent. You can argue that the Chaos Council are evil because they act in self interest, knowingly oppress the mobians in New Yoke, and don't care what they have to do or who they have to kill to get what they want. They are aware of what they are doing and that they are hurting people, and actively choose to do "evil" deeds because they want to.

Nine acts in his own self interest, he doesn't go out of his way to be a hero to others, he doesn't care what becomes of the other shatterspaces, but he doesn't go out of his way to just oppress or hurt people. He doesn't attack people or leave them to die for the enjoyment of it. He's not outright acting evil with intentions to commit evil deeds, but he never claims to be a hero either. He's a morally grey fox who acts in his own self interest who just wants a real home, and just wants to be safe.

But all in all I ask this to you because I wonder genuinely. What of Nine's actions during these two seasons betray that he's just "what if Tails was evil"? Does acting in one's self interest or selfishly, even if you believe it's for a good cause and if you don't go out of your way to hurt people, make you an inherently evil person?

Has everyone else been seeing the signs while Sonic has been blind because he doesn't want to believe "Tails" could be evil?

Renegade, Rebel, Shadow, etc. They all don't trust Nine.

But with I've gone over so far re:their povs and what they've seen and know of Nine, have all of these people been seeing something Sonic has been missing? Have they not just been doing the same thing Sonic has been (in this case, forming an idea of them based upon first impressions and continuing to paint that person in a specific light because of how their continued experiences with that person fit their pre-existing biases)? They've had less run ins with Nine than Sonic has. What makes their gut instincts and povs more valuable than Sonic's pov of Nine (or the chaos council in s1 and s2 for that matter)?

What is it even that they're seeing that Sonic is missing? Is it that Nine cares more about creating a home within the Grim than saving people or being a hero, or even more than some goal of bringing back Green Hill (even at the expense of the shatterverse and his life)?

Sure, Sonic doesn’t want to believe Nine could be evil. Heck, he doesn't even want to believe that his idea of Nine as someone who would put his life on the line for those in danger and help people when he can is false.

But what? What exactly is it that he's missing? What are the "red flags" Sonic is "ignoring" in these two seasons that "prove" Nine has been evil all along? What was Sonic missing that proves Nine was always planning on betraying him?

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It's all food for thought my friends.

Anyways, if you've read up to this point, thank you so much! I know it's a long one, but it means a lot to me that you'd take the time to read my thoughts and analysis. In the end, the point of this essay is that I implore you all to think of how the characters see each other. The creators put genuine thought into these characters, how they act based on what happens to them, and how they act based upon what they could possibly know from their povs. I implore you to consider why certain characters assert things they do. I implore you to think why Nine would have betrayed Sonic at the end of S2, why Sonic would have trusted him, and for what reason other characters may not have trusted him. I implore you to think of Nine not as a twist villain, but to think of how he actually is and what might push a person to this point.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #the chaos council #mr dr eggman #dr done it #dr babble #dr deep #dr don't #renegade knucks #rebel rouge #sonic prime season 2 #sonic prime season 1 #nine sonic prime #miles nine prower #nine the fox #essay time #i just be ramblin #Fun fact! While I have been wanting to write this essay for a while‚ I actually finally broke down and wrote it BECAUSE it hit me again tha #Shadow missed the entire breaku– I mean. Uh. He missed most of the scene where Nine and Sonic broke u– I mean #uh dissolved their friendship. I was just consumed with thoughts over Shadow missing so much context even while I was seeing people assert #that Shadow knew what was happening regarding Nine all along #Oh also. Yes I have seen season 3. However‚ I wrote most of this up before S3 came out. So this essay only covers up to the end of season 2 #Maybe at some point I'll make a reblog or a second post where I do the same thing I did here but for the characters in S3 and how #they view Nine.#long post #Also if you've just read the post and You'd like to read more in depth looks on how Nine and Sonic see each other and why they would‚ I'd #give my Sonine prime series a shot. Yes it's focused on the shippy aspect‚ by a shipper‚ but one main purpose of it is to present the #complexities of these characters and just how integral understanding their general relationship/importance to each other is to the show #(romantic‚ platonic‚ whatever)

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penny-the-pissed-poltergeist · 2 months ago

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Time for everything to go nuts, volume 3 episode 9 (PVP) rewatch thoughts, RWDE/Critical takes inbound

.I feel like this would have even more dramatic potential even these two knew each other before hand

.Pyrrha is too stressed to say anything at all, ow

.Always liked how they animated Penny's swords

.So they later explain that Ruby has no mass in petal form, so why can Mercury hit her here?

.Merc is such a piece of shit I love him

.Why did Ruby stop using her Semblance here, she was only hit like twice so aura probably wasn't a factor

.Forgot how fast this fight was, they take no time to get to horrid end

.Penny's first death gives me some weird feelings, They do handle everyone reacting to her well even if it feels like no one realizes or reacts to the fact she's a robot, and watching Ruby seeing it makes want to cry >

.But knowing she comes back later and how little she gets brought up afterword lessens the impact a lot, I also forgot Pietro first showed up here, sorry best dad/worst dad depending on how much you read into things

.Both that one background guy I forgot to post last time and Jaune's face are making me laugh when I should not be doing that. (This probably only happened because I've seen this before but still)

.Cinder.. ISN'T really lying about how much power headmasters have or how much average people are kept in the dark, but she is 100% just saying shit for a reaction like a bad comedian here

.So why did atlas make Penny they way she is? Because we know she wasn't ever supposed to be the maiden, but there isn't any evidence of Atlas actually wanting war from what I've seen

."First a dismemberment now this?" Girllll that was your fault

.It is funny how the FNDUMB people act just like Cinder in this scene toward Ironwood

."Our Kingdoms are at the brink of war" I'd say "since when" like a certain video essay but Cinder is bending the truth and trying to provoke outrage so her saying that makes sense (I don't hate that video but it's not perfect)

."Please seek shelter in a calm and orderly manner" Like that's ever gonna happen

.Coco acting like a Nevermore is scary like she didn't one shot multiple of them

.There are already knocked over buildings, shit got fucked up fast or it's power rangers abandoned building district

.Roman is back, hell yeah

.Star was moment... It's a ship lasering another ship with chanting in the background come on

.God I love Roman just so fucking much

.The white fang being here makes me question why anti faunus hate didn't like, fuckin octuple after this

#rwby #rwde #rwby rewatch #PVP #rwby volume 3

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sage-nebula · 2 months ago

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Book Reviews: Truth of the Divine - Lindsay Ellis

Rating: 2/5

Truth of the Divine is the second book in what is now known as the Noumena trilogy by Lindsay Ellis. Divine picks up shortly after where the first book, Axiom's End, left off, following human Cora and alien Ampersand as they navigate not only their newfound bond, but also the question of alien personhood on Earth now that the secret of First Contact has been blown out of the water. Additionally, Divine introduces a second point-of-view character in the form of Kaveh Mazandarani, a reporter who stumbles upon his own alien companion Nikola by virtue of pure circumstance. As much of a character-driven story as the first, Truth of the Divine works to balance the inner turmoil of its protagonist Cora with the political situation surrounding the aliens in the United States.

This is a balance that the book struggles with.

Let me be clear, upfront: I did not hate this book. But while I didn't hate the book, I also struggle to say that I liked it. When I finished, it wasn't with the sense of warm satisfaction that comes with reading a good book, or a sense of sadness now that an excellent one had concluded. Instead, it was almost relief, a thank god that is finally over with.

So, what were the issues? To put it succinctly: Cora Sabino and Ampersand are the primary issues. I cannot stand to read about these two characters or their terrible relationship any longer, and it is for this reason that I don't think I'll make it to the third book, whenever it comes out.

To put it in more detail:

Four years ago, Lindsay Ellis published a video titled "Dear Stephenie Meyer", in which she apologizes to said author of the Twilight series for the years of misogynistic backlash she faced for writing bad vampire romance novels. (Note: Misogyny is not the only reason Meyer ever received backlash, and there are many valid criticisms of her books, particularly where racism is concerned. I'm only talking about the reasons Ellis gave for the apology in her video.) Like most of Ellis' video essays, it was well-constructed and had a definite thesis: pop culture fandoms have a tendency to ferociously hate things that teen girls and women love, and therefore, it was worthwhile to reexamine the Twilight series to find legitimate criticisms of it, versus just hating it with a broad stroke because of sparkly vampires. When I watched the video for the first time four years ago, I thought that was the sole reason Ellis made the video. She wanted to address the misogyny that runs rampant in pop culture fandoms, and the Twilight series was a convenient way to do that because of how huge it was, once upon a time.

Upon reading both Axiom's End and Truth of the Divine, I think I've discovered another reason why Ellis made that video: the central relationship of her novels is Bella/Edward, but worse.

I briefly made mention of this in my review of the first book—that, towards the end of the novel, Cora begins desperately whining for Ampersand to never leave her in very much the same way that Bella desperately whines for Edward to never leave her, with the key differences between the two relationships being that 1.) Ampersand was always very careful to ask for consent to so much as touch Cora, and 2.) Cora and Ampersand have a "dynamic fusion bond," a psychic link that makes Cora's clinginess a bit more understandable, albeit no less annoying. I had hoped that the similarities to Bella/Edward would be smoothed out in this book, that the relationship would improve, that the annoyance I felt creeping in at the end of Axiom's End would be washed away in the second book, when Ellis' writing had more room to grow and she had a foundation for the characters to build from.

Unfortunately, all of my hopes were dashed.

First, the relationship itself. As I mentioned, this relationship is Bella/Edward, but worse. As someone who pushed through all four Twilight books in high school, I can say that many of the criticisms about Bella and Edward's relationship are valid. Yes, he stalks her without her consent. Yes, he takes the engine out of her truck to prevent her from visiting his love rival. There are things that Edward does that are very much Not Okay that are instead presented as the epitome of romance (although to be completely fair, Bella is righteously furious with him when he removes the engine from her truck, although that doesn't get him to put it back). However, through it all Edward is still mostly considerate of Bella's feelings. He doesn't verbally abuse her. He doesn't ask for her consent to watch her sleep, but he also doesn't push himself on her in any other ways, or ever violate (or threaten to violate) her autonomy.

The same cannot be said for Ampersand and Cora, on basically any of those counts.

First, Ampersand commits many of the same sins Edward does in the first book. He stalks Cora without her consent. During his stalking, he actually physically assaults her and plants a tracking device in her neck, which he refuses to remove. (To be fair, this is not presented as romantic; they are virtually enemies at this point.) He routinely lies to her about things concerning her bodily autonomy (the dynamic fusion bond) and safety (Obelus' continued survival), and then attempts to gaslight her into believing that he was withholding vital information about her from her for her own safety. When that doesn't work, Ampersand makes it clear that he absolutely will violate her mind at his leisure for his own gains, by erasing her memories so that she cannot request help from anyone regarding Obelus, the very same being that almost murdered her in the previous book. At the end of the book, when Cora is trying to talk Ampersand down from suicide, he uses her own trauma, self-harm, and suicide attempts against her, accusing her of doing that specifically to hurt him, to the point where she apologizes to him for self-harming, something he expects and wants her to do. When you compare this to Edward being horrified that Bella risked her life to hear a hallucination of his voice, not because of how that affected him but because he couldn't bear for her to be hurt, it makes him look like a fucking paragon of compassionate romance. And I know, I know, I'm talking an awful lot about Twilight in this review of Truth of the Divine, but it's because this relationship screamed of Bella/Edward so much (particularly in how Cora's character pretty much revolves around Ampersand, but more of that in a second) that it was impossible to ignore. The Cora/Ampersand relationship is Bella/Edward, but worse. So much worse. And if I wanted to read Twilight But Worse, I would have read 50 Shades of Grey. I didn't sign up for this (at least not intentionally), and as such it deserves to be talked about at great length, so that others who don't mind spoilers will know what they're getting into.

But all of that said, this terrible relationship also leads into an issue with Cora herself, which is that, in this book, she has no character outside of Desperately Pining for Ampersand, and Trauma Victim. In the first novel, Cora had drive and desires: she wanted to find and protect her mother and siblings; she had a complicated relationship with her aunt; she was haunted by the spectre of her father as he drove the First Contact conspiracy further into the public eye. Her relationship with Ampersand was a big part of the book, of course, but Cora also had more to her than that. She had reasons outside of Ampersand to do things in the story itself.

None of those things are present in this book. We don't see her mother, and her siblings are barely mentioned (and not even really by her, but rather by characters such as Nils or Kaveh). Luciana is barely present in the book, and again, Cora rarely talks to her. Nils has a larger presence in this book than the last, but again, Cora isn't really affected by his presence outside of bristling at mention of him during the Congressional hearing. Instead, Cora's motivations are—well, they're non-existent. Cora doesn't really have any motivations. All she wants to do for the majority of the book is curl up and lie in place with Ampersand. That's it. And since she can't do that for the majority of the book since Ampersand is A.W.O.L., she instead spends most of her time curling up with love interest Kaveh and doing whatever he tells her to do, because she has no will or drive to do anything on her own.

Listen: Cora's trauma is portrayed realistically. When you go through a traumatic event, being able to pick yourself back up and get back to life as it stands can be immensely difficult, bordering on potentially impossible. However, while that might be realistic, it doesn't make for engaging fiction. Protagonists need to have drive; they need to have a reason to propel the story along. In the first book, Cora had this; she wanted to find her family, she wanted to figure out what was going on with her aunt. In the second book, Cora has nothing but Ampersand. The end of the book has her proclaiming that she can't bear to lose him, can't live without him, throwing everything away purely to get to him. It's as if he's a planet and she's a satellite orbiting him. Even Bella wanted to become a vampire so she could be super beautiful and strong; Cora doesn't even want that. The closest thing to a Non-Ampersand goal that Cora has is to face down the senate to stop the Third Option, which would grant limited personhood to the aliens. However, even that wasn't borne out of an organic desire, but was rather fed to her by the deuteragonist of the novel, Kaveh. And the minute he dies, she stops caring about it.

But let's talk about Kaveh.

I want to give Ellis the benefit of the doubt in that she knew that Cora was no longer an engaging protagonist—that Cora could not carry this book, because Cora was too busy orbiting Ampersand like his own personal moon. I want to say that's why she introduced Kaveh, who was not only a breath of fresh air in comparison to Cora, but honestly the best, most fully realized character in these books. Kaveh has a rich history; he's a recovering addict and successful, award-winning journalist and author. He has worked with Nils Ortega, but only professionally, and also has a personal (antagonistic) history with another prominent character in the books, CIA agent Sol Kaplan. As an immigrant, he is deeply vested in the issues of human rights and personhood, correctly recognizing that if the government is allowed to deny full personhood to aliens, they will, inevitably, extend those discriminatory restrictions to different races of humans as well. Kaveh is curious, compassionate, brave; he is a marked interest in the politics of the book (which are by far the most interesting part), and develops a relationship of his own with another alien, Nikola, due to their shared history of being addicts and their shared curiosity about other species, as well. Setting aside the incredibly exasperating parts of Kaveh's chapters that focused on his sexual relationship with Cora (and how much time he had to devote to trying to get her to function), Kaveh's chapters were easily the best in the book. His relationship with Nikola was wonderful. He, as a deuteragonist, was wonderful.

So of course, he's the one who dies.

Cora could not carry this book. I don't believe she can carry the next. She is not, in any way, an engaging protagonist. Kaveh was. He was more fleshed out than Cora was despite only having one book, his relationship with Nikola was far more interesting, and he had vested interest and drive to confront the political issues of the novel—which were far and away the most interesting and topical parts of the novel—head-on. Considering Cora dips off into space at the end because she doesn't want to deal with it, it's not hard to see that she has no interest in picking up the cause that Kaveh died for. (Well, really he died trying to protect her, because her single-minded focus on Ampersand had her run straight into danger. But nonetheless.) If Kaveh had lived and was going to be at the very least the deuteragonist of the 3rd book, I would consider picking it up. I would do it for him, because he's an interesting character to read. But Cora is not, and unfortunately, Kaveh is the character Ellis chose to kill off, either to cause Cora more angst or because she felt he'd served his purpose. Whatever the reason, it was a bad one.

While those are the major issues of the book, I will say that there are other, smaller ones as well. While many of my issues from the previous book were fixed (e.g. Ellis doesn't switch how characters are referred to several times in the same chapter anymore), others presented themselves, such as Ellis reminding us so often that Cora's hair is blue that you could very well get alcohol poisoning if you took a shot every time it was mentioned. But while there are other small issues here or there, the note that I want to end this review on is this:

For the bulk of her career, Lindsay Ellis has been an essayist, largely focusing on literary analysis. It was her focus on literary analysis that I thought could make her a skilled fiction writer. But while her books aren't terrible, after reading both of the ones currently released I have come to the conclusion that Ellis' strength truly is not in fiction writing, but is instead in analysis and essay writing. At the end of this novel, there is a fictional New Yorker article written by deuteragonist Kaveh. That article, written in the format of a long-form essay not unlike one of Ellis' videos, was the single best piece of writing in either book. It shined, because that is where Ellis' strength is. I don't doubt that Ellis could improve as a fiction writer. In fact, I hope she does. I can tell that she has a passion for it, and I don't think she should stop simply because her first two publications have been rough. But I can say that this makes me more sad than ever that she has given up her career as an essayist, because that is her true strength, and that is where I think she, personally, could do the most good, rather than lukewarm novels that ultimately leave a lot to be desired.

#book reviews #truth of the divine #lindsay ellis #bookblr #date reviewed: jan 24th 2022 #crossposted from goodreads

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taxi-cab-to-slowtown · 3 months ago

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Okay so I'm really passionate about looking at the anti-sex climate of today's internet and America and dissecting how we got here. That's why I ended up writing a whole ass essay about it as a final for one of my classes. So, in this essay I will show how important it is to acknowledge even the "bad" texts in order to see how they influence us today...

Where's the essay? below the cut

The Mechanism of America’s Culture of Self Sexual Enslavement

Preface of Sexual Repression in American Literature: An Anthology

Moral Panic in Modern Sexual Education

My sexual education was woefully incomprehensive. You might actually say even that it did not exist. Because of this I’ve been watching videos by an OB-GYN on youtube who posts medically accurate and very entertaining sex ed content. In one series she does, she reviews old sex ed videos and talks about their accuracy. Most of the time these old sex ed videos are cringy at best, downright bad information at worst. Yet, on a video I watched by her a few days ago there was a very sudden turn from that. The video was from the 1960s and focused a lot on how parents could better help their children in learning about their bodies. Even though this video was 60 years old, it was almost completely accurate, as opposed to videos that had been made as recently as the 90s.

This was confusing and surprising to her. She ended up researching the makers of the video, and landed on a very sad truth. The video was made by the then Sexual Education Council of the United States, an organisation founded in 1964 by Mary Claderone. In no time at all, the organisation had worked to put out lots of information to help better sexual education for adults, teens, and children. If that is true then why is American sex Ed still so poor? Well, it turns out many groups opposed her work and her organisation. They spent an estimated 40,000,000 dollars on a smear campaign to ruin her outreach. But why would they do that? They said they were protecting American children and teens. This act– along with many other acts in a similar nature– show a problem in America’s connection with sexuality, sexual emotions, and sexual expression. As Americans, it is important for us to recognise this and find the answers to these questions: “What is wrong with America's connection to sexuality?” and “where did it come from?”

This anthology seeks to answer these important questions. This book is a collection of short stories, novels, narratives, poems, and plays that all experience the results of the interconnection between American literature and sexuality. This anthology seeks to show how America’s connection to sexuality, sexual freedom, and sexual repression has developed over the years, and how with each modicum of a step forward, there is a societal push for a step back. The works included in this text show how literature has influenced and is influenced by these back and forth pushes, even up until our contemporary period.

Sexuality is a complex thing in the American conscience, and this relationship is shaped by what has come before and how it influences the existence of America as we know it today. Included in this collection are some things which were and are controversial in their proposals, but still influenced and influence the American understanding and might shape the American culture of sexuality in the future. It is important to remember as you read and analyse these texts that just because something is important in the whole picture, does not mean that it is good, just, or right. On the contrary, some of the texts included here paint a grim picture promoting the false accusations of the evil of sexual expression. Some of these works even support pushing toward that purge of comprehensive understanding of sex and sexuality we see still active today. This anthology looks at literature throughout American history through the lens point of this sexual repression, showing how the shifting socio-political climates of these different authors does not inherently change the puritanical ideology. This causes the rising expressions of it we see today in things such as anti-abortion legislation and the anti-porn passages of Project 2025.A lot of this legislature is actually built on the dangerous ideas supported or recognised in many of the following works of American literature. It is important to look at these critically to help understand their influence on the picture of America as a whole.

The Puritan Mindset and Sexual Repression

A lot of Americans choose to ignore the way that puritanical ideas have pushed through in our country, but they have. A lot of this lack of belief comes from a misunderstanding of the core dangers of this doctrine. Religious puritan doctrine removes from its followers the freedom of personal autonomy. In Ace’s post, “The Scarlet Letter – Introduction” she presents this idea in her analysis of Hawtorne’s text while connecting it to its larger implications on society today. Ace connects the way that sexuality and a woman's body is treated in The Scarlet Letter to the way that anti-abortion and anti-contraceptive legislature treats it today. It then is visible how The Scarlet Letter shows a puritan state that is very similar to our modern state. Puritan ideology and expression impacts us in the 21st century, and has influenced American literature and expression throughout the centuries America has existed. Yet, The Scarlet Letter was not written as a defense or definition of puritan ideology, but an attack on the prudish and dehumanising ways that the puritans had. It is not written from a puritan mindset, so though it connects to America’s puritan roots, it does not show us what puritan ideology truly looks like.

Understanding this puritan ideology is the purpose to which The Captivity Narrative of Mary Rowlandson has been anthologised here. Unlike the other anthologised puritan texts there are no explicit anti-sexual themes in Rowlandson’s narrative, yet it is important to include it. Like these other texts, this narrative shows the puritan anti-pleasure ideology. Since sexuality derives physical pleasure you can see how this idea of repressing things that bring humans happiness and pleasure would mean the repression of sexual desire. Rowlandson describes the natives' actions when they are dancing in celebration of their victory as hellish and demonic. As far as she is concerned, the things that bring pleasure and happiness should be avoided, as should the expressions of that joy. The Scarlet Letter and the Crucible share these themes, outcasting dancing leading to the witch hunt, and Hester’s act of sexual pleasure leading to her marking. The difference here is that though those texts were written criticising the puritan worldview, the Captivity Narrative is written in full faith.

Unlike The Scarlet Letter and The Crucible, the captivity narrative is written by a puritan for puritan viewership. Rowlandson’s narrative is neither trying to present what puritanism is, nor critique puritanism as the other texts do. Rowlandson’s narrative relies on the assumption that her readers are like minded people, therefore there is no thought to how her beliefs might be perceived by non-puritan readers. Essentially, we can use this text to get at the heart of the puritan ideology, and see how sexual repression comes from historical puritan repression. We can also see in this text how American puritanism was at the heart of American colonialism. This shows exactly why this spirit of sexual repression is so much stronger in the US than anywhere else. This text also therefore presents a first-hand account of the ideology being criticized by Hawthorne and Miller in the other texts.

Sexual Repression as Anti-Feminism

Also visible in the texts like The Crucible and The Scarlet Letter is the idea that American misogyny comes from American sexual repression. This is furthermore shown in The Female American and Harriet Jacobs’ Narrative of the Life of a Slave Girl. In all of these texts the culture blames the women for any digression from the sexual expectations of American culture and society. The Narrative of the Life of a Slave Girl shows the most important element of the American view of sexuality: that it is seen as a necessary evil in order to procreate. In this text, we see Harriet being used for her ability to bear children. The reasons she is hurt and assaulted are for the creation of more enslaved people to further the American economy. Ultimately, the idea that sexuality is solely for the purpose of procreation is the root of the problem. There are many religious people who believe that sex for the sake of pleasure, even in a marriage, is the sin of lust unless a baby is produced. It was easy for the early Americans to overlook the rapes of the enslaved women, because so many children came out of it. The justification in their mind is that God gave them a pregnancy, and so their sexual acts were seen as approved of in his sight.

When something happens as a result of sexuality, it is usually the woman who bears the brunt of the scrutiny. Part of the reason the man in The Scarlet Letter does not face punishment is that she refuses to tell who he is. Yet that is not the full story. If Heaster’s husband had never come back and her pregnancy had not become obvious, then no one would have cared. It becomes the woman's job to hide what they have done and, if it is revealed, her job to bear the visible sign. In the story there is of course the existence of the scarlet A she is forced to wear. But for those real women not forced to undergo such a sentencing, pregnancy is also a very visible result of sex. One argument from “pro-life” arguers against abortions is the idea that women who get pregnant out of wedlock “deserve to have a baby” as punishment for their sexual acts. This is just the same as the Heaster being forced to bear the scarlet letter, and Harriet being forced to raise her children on her own.

Another example of anti-feminism being further by sexual repression is in The Crucible. There is a sex scandal between Abigail and John Proctor. As much as he is responsible for what happened (even more so since he was an adult and she a child) it is he who accuses her, in court no less, of being a “harlot” for sleeping with a married man. He is a married man who slept with a girl because she caught his fancy and showed interest. Yet, he calls her out, and he blames her for what happened. Ultimately this shows that even without a pregnancy when “sexual immorality” is committed, in the American purview, it is on the woman to bear the brunt of it. We can see how this affects the ideologies plaguing this nation and causing the push backwards in women’s rights and protections. It is going back to these sexist, repressed roots.

All these texts show how the repression of sexuality bred a culture with bad relationships with pleasure and sex. This ideology creates an attitude that justifies men taking what they want with no consequences. All the consequences fall on the women, even if she is the true victim. Sexual repression mounted on the patriarchy created a system that placed women– and black women especially– at the subservience of men. Women then become, even in consensual relationships, forced to please men with no recognition of their own pleasure and desires. This leads to further cultural control of men, especially over women’s bodies.

Repressed Repression in American Literature

Repression is evident in many of these texts, but the idea of repressed repression is most obvious in the texts like The Turn of the Screw, The Great Gatsby, The Narrative of the Life of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket, Benito Cereno, and Twilight. We see here the existence of repression that is itself repressed by those who are experiencing it. This type of repression is what allows the American people to deny the existence of their own repression even as it eats at them. In The Great Gatsby the story focuses on Gatsby's obsession with proving himself to Daisy to get her to return the affection he still has toward her. The narrator, Nick, holds the same obsession with Gatsby. Nick helps the man seduce his married cousin for more time in the limelight beside him. At the end of the book, Nick is the only one who is left with Gatsby, mourning the loss of the man, and not, like everyone else, the loss of the idea presented by the man. Similarly, in The Turn of the Screw, the governess is an unreliable narrator who does not make her feelings for Miles clear to the reader. There is a tension between her and him, and a strangeness to how she describes his appearance and her draw toward him, but it is never clearly stated. It is implied in the set up at the Christmas party, and that is the only reason we look at it. In both of these situations, the idea of forbidden feelings is so repressed that the feeler does not want to admit to themselves or the reader that these feelings are there. These feelings are therefore so culturally taboo that they remain completely ignored.

In The Great Gatsby, The Narrative of the Life of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket, and Benito Cereno, the homosexual undertones might have gone unnoticed to some, but they are definitely there. This idea of oneness between two men (Pym and Augustus, Nick and Gatsby, Captain Delano and Babo) conjures up elements of a sexual union or sexual fixations. This is somewhat evident in the word choices used in these texts. The use of “ejuctualtion” in That Narrative of the Life of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket which means release from a penis, is one such example. This word is being used outside of a sexual context, which is why the use is so distinct. It likens the scene to erotica, conjuring up a burst of pleasure with Pym’s burst of pleaful breath. Most of the rest of the class however harkened on the kinsmanship and companionship represented in this scene. Strange then to see companionship and sexual language interwoven but is not meant to have a sexual intention. This is similar to the way that Babo and Cereno’s relationship is presented: a two-way street of trust which crosses the line of the expectations from the narrator. This is partially because of the secret underlying the situation, but it also draws the reader into a sense of unease that pulls them into wondering what exactly Cereno and Babo’s relationship is. In both these texts it is evident that arousal for the unknown and sexual arousal are interconnected.

These word choices and connections seem to pull the reader into a contest between the images being described and the feelings and images the language derives. It is an intentional use of sexual repression to hold the reader in a strange balance. This can be likened to the way that Pym, Nick, and the governess feels throughout most of the text. There is a point at which the reader is forced to think about how the words and images make us react and how it is like or unlike the characters and their own repressions. It shows how the elements of repression in these stories connect to the elements of the real world and the culture of self-repression that still haunts Americans. Sexuality then connects to horror and becomes something strange, beautiful, and

foreign.

Sexuality as the Foreign, Beautiful, or Strange

“Song of Myself” introduces an idea of sexuality as beautiful, but beyond the grasp of the current American culture. It presents the idea that freedom from the pervasive Christian religion in America will bring freedom from repression and newfound pleasure. In Witman’s descriptions of God and knowledge there is sexual imagery and language which he uses to describe the experience and connection between God and Man. He speaks of lying with him and receiving the fruit of all knowledge. In the padlet, Alan said that the imagery of God as a bedfellow, who sleeps by Witman’s side, shows how God is with him and brings him peace. While this is one layer to it, we cannot ignore that “bedfellow” usually refers to a sexual partner, and the idea of Witman lying with God all night indicates a sexual relationship between them.

Witman’s God is not the Christian God, but nature. His idea that nature is a sexual liberator is not unique in these texts. This idea of following nature as leading to sexual liberation is also shown in the caricature of the natives in The Female American. Out of all of the elements of the natives’ culture, the text grants the most description to the bed that Unca Eliza’s mother brings her father to. It is described as being covered in grass, flowers, and beauty (49). This description of the bed shows how the presentation of sex as beautiful intertwines with the idea of the foreignness of native Americans in the white, Christian, colonial mindset. This is built on the same racism as Rowlandson, who likens native cultural practices to the occult. From this racism breeds the idea that sexuality is strange, and belongs to those who are beautiful in their “corruption”.

This same idea is pervasive in Twilight. Culturally upon its release the text connected to repressed women and girls who saw themselves in Bella– plain, uninteresting, abandoned, and longing for the idea of a monster who loved them. This need for a monster for sexual liberation builds off of the idea of arousal in the uncanny, seen in Benito Cereno and The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket. Edward Cullen– the vampire that sparkles in the sunlight– is the perfect image of the corrupted yet beautiful. Bella is drawn in by his beauty. He warns her not to be, telling her he is dangerous. He keeps getting out of her reach and she is desperate without him. This is similar to the cultural expectation of sexual freedom as something out of our reach, but sought after. It also ties to the idea of sexuality as something corrupted and beautiful in the same way that Edward is corrupted by his vampirism, yet beautiful for Bella to behold. He draws her in, but she will be hurt by him. The stigma against Bella being with Edward is well-likened to the stigma against sexuality in American culture. In fact, the author of these books is herself a Mormon, another Christo-centric religion that has a heavy focus on sexual repression as a form of morality. This book is a direct example of how the religious climate of America pushes this idea of liberation coming only through the uncanny.

Sexual Liberation in These Texts

There is also a way in which “Song of Myself” hints at a liberation for those under sexual oppression. The text calls for both men and women to lie with Witman to gain knowledge from him. This is a spirit of indiscretion in sexual relationships which frees those that common religious practices would deem damned just for their desires, let alone the choice to act upon them. The idea presented here is that the sexual repression is built on false ideology, which the narrator’s God has freed them from. This is far different from the idea of sexual freedom being godless immorality as presented in The Scarlet Letter and The Crucible.

Another text which presents sexual freedom in a way that blurs this line is The Great Gatsby. While Nick represses his feelings for the man, he also is involved in open sexuality, adultery, and instances of sex trafficking, with no thought except that it provides a sense of glorious freedom he has never been allowed to feel. He gets very drunk for the first time at Tom’s affair apartment and it is implied that they have an orgy while he is there. One element that calls Nick to Gatsby’s place is the freedom of revelry in his parties. Drinks flow freely there, and sex is rampant. Gatsby brings him to one of the secret bars where they see the mayor and the constable with sex workers, and drunk people wandering about. All of this speaks to the inescapable desire for sexual freedom that is stirred up in Nick as soon as he enters this life. A draw for something he can not quite explain. It is all built on an arousing draw to the freedom he has never before been able to explore.

In “A Valediction Forbidding Mourning” we see Adriene Rich liberating herself from the sexual oppression of her time. This poem was written the year her husband died . On its face the poem might not seem explicitly about sexual repression, and in a way it is not. Yet, repression of romantic desire builds on repression of sexual desire and the denial of sexual identity. The title of this poem is the name as a poem by John Donne. In that poem he addresses his wife and speaks of their love. When looking at Rich’s poem with the knowledge of Donne’s it can be seen how it exists as a metaphor for repressed love, and freedom from repressed love. The way that she is being forced to follow the constraints of her instructors shows how she is being forced to follow the romantic constraints of her society. She chooses to free herself from her constraints. Not long after this poem was published she moved in with her female lover, and spent the rest of her life with her. This poem was her coming out and her rejection of society’s hatred of her as she is.

In The Heroic Slave and Narrative of the Life of a Slave Girl we see the presence of elements of sexual liberation intertwined with liberation from enslavement. In Harriet Jacobs’ narrative, she shows how breaking away from “sexual morality” guided her into the strength to break away from her enslavement. The narrative shows a bleak idea of a woman’s existence being defined by sex, but contradicts that by showing how a woman can take that into her own hands. Harriet liberates herself both sexually and situationally within the text. As for The Heroic Slave, as Bernier points out in “Arms like Polished Iron” the description of Madison Washington calls back to both femininity, and masculine sexual identity. His voice is soft spoken, but his body is large, menacing and Herculean (227). His personality is soft, and loving. He goes back for his wife instead of fending for himself. This text’s idea of romance and companionship frees the woman to be loved by her husband, and the man to experience tenderness and love in a way that patriarchal American culture does not usually allow. Washington is a strong, brave, heroic man– as the title may suggest– but as Bernier says he is feminized in his rhetorical speech (227). This shows an idea of liberation from oppressive ideology as well as liberation from enslavement.

Remaining Oppression

Yet, all of these examples have a commonality: the liberation is either later undone or incomplete even now. The connections between enslavement and sexual repression are far deeper reaching than one might first believe. Like with the way that modern day racism clings to the socio economic results of the racism of the past, we see that too in the modern pushback against sexual reform. Just as Higginbotham says in The Ghosts of Jim Crow, this anthology does not deny the progress that has been made to our culture’s perception of sexual purity, just as it has made progress in aspects of race. The laws that directly affected those of different sexual preferences have been removed, and gay people can marry. Still, like the fact that Brown 1 did not eradicate all racism or segregation in the US, the movements that have been made do not eradicate sexual repression (141-178). Even in the rebellion against sexual repression a lot of these works do, there is still a push against them, similar to how Brown 1 and Brown 2 created a climate that pushed forward and backward simultaneously (142).

In the Great Gatsby the life of freedom and leisure that Gatsby shows Nick is destroyed before the end of the text. The death of Tom’s mistress at Daisy’s hands leads to Gatsby’s murder, and then to Daisy’s suicide. Everything around Nick crumbles. First he loses Gatsby and then he loses the reason he was on Long Island: his cousin. Tom is ruined, Nick is ruined, and Gatsby disappears as though he never existed. Even though the book presents liberation, it also demonstrates liberation falling away, returning to repression. In the end the liberation presented in the text is condemned. They were too free, and it lead to this tragedy.

In Twilight, though Bella reaches toward Edward for freedom, it is Edward who becomes her new sexual enslaver. He tells her that they cannot have sex until they are married, though she keeps insisting on the desire for liberation. Yet, she is the one who sees herself as “damaged” for marrying as young as she is, since everyone will think she is pregnant. She both represses herself and is repressed by her husband. It is not until she is “corrupted” by vampirism that she is sexually free. She and Edward only then spend their days in guiltless sexuality. This presents the idea that sexual freedom is never truly possible to achieve as a good person. One must therefore be corrupted to be sexually free. Sexuality is then a corrupting, evil force.

The poems “Anabelle Lee” and “Diving into the Wreck” also explore the way culture assumes sexual ideology corrupts even as we try to free ourselves from it. In “Annabelle Lee,” the love of her and the narrator– free and full– is what brings her death. There are calls to the imagery of angels and heaven. Because of their anger at the purity of Annabelle and the narrator’s love, the seraph’s push her family to bury her alive, leading to her death. This connects to how religion forbids freedom of love and sexuality, no matter how pure, reaching for oppression. In “Diving into the Wreck” the narrator goes into the sea to see the wreck there. This is all a metaphor for the wreck of the world. There are images of sexes intertwined, and an absence of “being” or of concrete self. There is an idea that this “wreck” of the world builds the ideology that separates men and women and creates the sexism Rich fought so adamantly against her whole life. The sexism is built on repression and jealousy, leading to the wreck that she comes to find. This is the same idea as the jealousy and hatred that stirs the angels up to destroy Annabelle and take her away from the narrator.

The Importance of This Anthology

Sexual repression is a theme found throughout American literature. The existence of repressive ideology pushes towards horrors both in the past and now. Sexism and racism are built on this repressive hatred, which is built on religious ideology. It is important for us to look at these things, and these texts and see how they have shaped our nation or how they have shaped each of us as individuals. This runs deep, and it is our job to dig it out, and fix the wrongs that have been committed because of it. Other anthologies like The Heath Anthology of American Literature, classify works by those like Adriene Rich and others as “New Communities, New Identities, and New Energies,” completely isolating their works from the movements that influenced their existence. This is done out of a sense of “progressiveness” that ignores the way that progress is built on progression from past ideas. Essentially, rather than acknowledging the troubles in the past that these “new” writings are fighting against, many anthologies simply separate the effect from its cause. This anthology attempts to present a contrary idea. Instead of separating Rich and others like her from the past, this anthology chooses to shine a light on the fact that sexual liberation is not a new movement or idea. It is instead freedom from what the false ideas of puritan morality embedded in our culture have taken from us. More important than any one writer, era, or “new movement” is understanding where we have been in our walk of American sexuality, so that it might empower us to improve as we move forward.

Works Cited

“Adrienne Rich.” Poetry Foundation, www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/adrienne-rich. Accessed 28 Apr. 2024.

Donne, John. “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning by John Donne.” Poetry Foundation, 2024, www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44131/a-valediction-forbidding-mourning.

Fitzgerald, F. Scott, et al. The Great Gatsby. Edited by James L. W. West, Scribner trade paperback edition, Scribner, 2018.

Goode, Abby et al. The Open Anthology of Earlier American Literature: A PSU Based Project. https://pressbooks.pub/openeal/front-matter/introduction/

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Higginbotham, F. Michael. Ghosts of Jim Crow : Ending Racism in Post-Racial America. NYU Press, 2013. EBSCOhost, research.ebsco.com/linkprocessor/plink?id=5bac9a5b-d5c9-324d-8d29-36cf11f0e4ed.

James, Henry. The Turn of the Screw. Dreamscape Media, Hoopla. https://www.hoopladigital.com/title/12211422

Jones, Danielle. “Doctor Reacts: Sex Ed PEAKED in the 1960s.” YouTube, Mama Doctor Jones , 9 Dec. 2024, youtu.be/l96K2dzzqmE?feature=shared.

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Oatis, James et al.“Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym” Padlet. https://padlet.com/jjo1032/the-narrative-of-arthur-gordon-pym-ohgfge8ykbxrgr5j

Poe, Edgar Allen. Edgar Allen Poe Complete Tales and Poems. Falls River Press, 2012.

Rich. Adrienne. Diving Into the Wreck. W. W. Norton Company, New York, London, 1994. Print.

Rich, Adrienne. Edited by Ken Young, “A Valediction Forbidding Mourning”, www.eng.fju.edu.tw/English_Literature/adrienne_rich/rich_forbid.htm. Accessed 28 Apr. 2024

Strong, Alexa et al. “‘Song of Myself’ by Walt Whitman - Class Activity” Padlet https://padlet.com/aks1092/song-of-myself-by-walt-whitman-class-activity-jycgi7xh1kyrd9o9

The Heath Anthology of American Literature, Volume 2 Edition Four. Edited by Pail Lauter. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2002.

Tremblay, Ace. “The Scarlet Letter – Introduction,” Rethinking Early American Literature: An Unconventional Literature Course At PSU. Wordpress, 18 November 2024. Accessed 11 December 2024, https://rethinkingeal2024.wordpress.com/2024/11/18/the-scarlet-letter-introduction/

Unca Eliza Winkfield, The Female American or, The Adventures of Unca Eliza Winkfield

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