#it feels like the liberal version of asking what’s in your pants

[duncans-idahoe]

On god if someone EVER calls me a “uterus owner” in real life I’m going to lose my shit I hate that term so much and I get it’s supposed to be inclusive but all you’re doing is reducing people to their reproductive organs and it’s just so demeaning! I AM NOT JUST A UTERUS! I AM NOT JUST A VAGINA! I AM A PERSON! A WHOLE HUMAN BEING!

[anthonybialy]

Doubling Way Down

Intensity is the truest way to full living.  Ask liberals who demand more authority to fix the problems they caused by just not getting enough.  Cursing moderation is one approach to failures caused by middling indulgence.  Pacing during consumption surely works with meth.  Junkies need more of their fix in response to previous failures.  Quitters would’ve given up on ever making government work.  These addicts inflict consequences on everyone who doesn’t consume.

Trying what the Soviets did is bound to work this time.  The very moderate Chicago mayor’s totally original ideas to have comrades stand in line for a chance to obtain a glorious turnip will surely cure hunger.  Corporate greed must be why supermarkets won’t sell in areas with liberal policies.  Parasitic commercial pirates don’t want to cope with robbers stealing cash as shoplifters steal merchandise that’s too costly due to taxes and inflation.  Politicians that created circumstances for rottenness are surely skilled at maintaining fresh produce.

History dorks claim a few governments previously tried state-owned grocers.  I don’t believe them any more than I do that state ownership didn’t increase the East German chip selection.  Shoppers from all over will rush to Chicago to enjoy what will surely be the fullest shelves.  I can’t imagine prices will be as dreadful as the selection.  Noticing patterns is a stereotype, and we should avoid such intolerances.

Contemporary commies who don’t know about anything that happened before this morning should still have enough information to know their schemes fail.  They would be missing the wrong Berlin if they learned what the Cold War is.  Those born in the wrong time missed the chance to hop in the wrong direction.  There were way fewer people heading eastward.  Only capitalist lackeys want to deal with crowds.

Asking just why no companies will make money selling food in Chicago is for greed-mongers.  Scolding businesses for both their conduct while open and their fleeing upon getting fed up surely isn’t in conflict.  The precise policies that spur vacancies are used to justify more intense versions of them.  The wrong kind of options increase.

That’ll teach stores for selfishly wanting to make a little money in exchange for feeding everyone.  Taxing the stuffing out of anyone who dares enter a market is the opposite of openness.  Grocers aren’t helping the collective by doing anything like offering food and jobs.  Inventory is largely stuffed down pants of miscreants.  Legalizing crime somehow isn’t good for business.

You didn’t use enough napalm, which is why the fire rages.  What did you want to extinguish it with: water?  Unscientific amateurs don’t get to ride the truck.  Professional experts know just how to remedy everything, which is why they focus on winning elections in lieu of wasting their superior talents applying knowledge practically in the private sector. 

Our poor fragile economy needs more molding by gifted sculptors wearing oven mitts.  They sip Mad Dog 20/20 out of straws to keep that creative feeling stirring.  Demanding more income confiscation will surely spur more earning.  Oh: it’s like gun control.  And that makes it the same as every other tiresome proposal by those who claim they didn’t get the chance to fail hard enough.

Looking for slight improvement with each incremental implemented step is for quacks.  The truly compassionate want to run everything for you.  Won’t a lack of autonomy make your life just the easiest?

Decision-makers who are sick of yours crave a single-payer system.  Enemies of your independence truly think one of the steps will make health care more efficient.  Self-righteousness is not a cure, which is too bad.

College is the place for not learning what happens off campus.  Ducking student loans is undoubtedly good practice for being a grown-up.  Massive federal intervention didn’t help but actually harmed, which one might find useful as a lesson applied to every single attempt before or since.

Are you against learning?  You can’t ask followup questions, as standing against the way liberals frame the world means you oppose learning.  Political science majors must be subsidized by taxpayers lest society become communally ignorant.  Throwing money at the dean’s office somehow made tuition more expensive.  You’d think there might be a class that shows which attempted evasions lead to even more woe.  Take it pass/fail.

The solution is naturally more.  The unforgivable sin of forgiving student loans would make inflation even more preposterous.  The unfortunate liberal tendency to only see one side applies to failing to realize that lenders would get screwed over as badly as taxpayers.  Nothing will help the economy like avoiding paying off debt.

Your helpers will need just one more little bit of autonomy.  It’s not a request.  Don’t fret about consent, as that’s been rendered illegal through executive order.  You’ll appreciate the lack of decisions you have to make even more when there’s finally a breakthrough.

Sure, life get worse with every step of governmental bossiness, which amateur observers might think indicates it’s a bad idea.  But you must believe if you want to be rewarded.  The worst kind of prosperity faith is one where there’s never a reward.  The church of government offers the best example of the worst approach to living.  There is separation of church and state except when the state is the church.  Adherence to the one faith where there is absolutely zero chance of payoff means you’re truly devout.

[evesaintyves]

Writer asks - 🦅🎢

thank you for the asks!

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

i always outline, but the finished product sometimes deviates so much from the original outline it's almost unrecognizable - sometimes i realize the story i really want to write is just an expanded version of a small section of the outline, or during the process of writing i realize something needs to go a different direction and re-outline the rest of the story from scratch.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

gotta be The Last Mission, lol. i was so nervous about writing and posting fan fiction, had no idea what i was doing, had all these ambitious ideas, so i just promised myself i'd have fun with it and go big: convoluted plot, campy 70s horror aesthetic, over-the-top takashi miike villain, stick a bunch of weird OCs in there, scatter red herrings and chekhov's guns like breadcrumbs at the duck pond - honestly, so fun and liberating to write that way, though i feel for those readers who have followed me through my sometimes-rocky Journey of Discovery of How to Write All of This

fanfic writer emoji asks

[bvidzsoo]

Poison (Finale)

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

 Warning: swearing, drinking, smut, violence, blood, death

 Word count: 21, 357

 Summary: Sana seems to be all up in your business lately, snooping around you. She’s not satisfied nor happy that you’re around Mingyu, so she makes sure to dig up more information about you. You aren’t aware of the danger you’re put in; you just want to enjoy your day with your boyfriend and his friends on their yacht. 

 Taglist: @chal-kagyu @taeyongandfree  @minkwans​ @itsdnguyenxoxo​ @rjsmochii​

 Unable to tag:  @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans  @leahxxiong

 A/N: Don’t get scared by the tags, proceed on reading! :) There will be a final A/N at the end of the chapter, so I won’t say anything else. I’m writing one more standalone oneshot in the Posion universe, it will be Wonwoo’s story. Happy reading, hope you enjoy!

           Windows down and music blaring, Vernon and I rolled down the streets of Seoul. The cool breeze of the warm morning whipped at our hair and I bobbed my head along the rhythm of the music as Vernon and I screamed along to the lyrics. As promised, we went on our breakfast date and now he was driving me to work. One week had passed since Mingyu met my parents and I was mortified last night when I saw him texting with my mother. He said before he left, my mother approached him and asked him to exchange numbers in order to keep in touch. She asked Mingyu to text her anytime he needed something or wasn’t sure about something, or if he wanted to complain about me to her, and she’d gladly answer him. Turns out, they’ve been chatting daily about random things and Vernon was on the verge of dying when I very furiously and loudly told him this, totally disregarding the food that was unchewed in my mouth. The song came to an end and Vernon turned down the volume a bit, stopping at a red light. A sigh left his lips and I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

He glanced at me before he chuckled, “Nothing…I just haven’t done this in long.”

“What? Screamed the lyrics of a song while driving around?” He chuckled again and shook his head.

“No, felt carefree and happy? Something like that…”

“Ay,” I scoffed and gave Vernon a look, “Hoshi – no, Soonyoung has told me about all the trips you and Seungkwan always go on.”

“Yeah girl, but you are cooler than Seungkwan.” I started laughing as the light turned green and Vernon started driving again.

“Too bad I’m taken, and also, never tell Seungkwan that…he’ll skin me alive.” Vernon laughed and nodded, clearly agreeing with me. It wasn’t hard to guess that Seungkwan still hadn’t warmed up to me and he probably never would. Our personalities didn’t match well and both of us found the other one a pushover and annoying. There were rare occasions when we got along really well, like those Monopoly games where we randomly teamed up and surprisingly killed off everyone and won, yeah, these guys played a different version of Monopoly that made sense only to them.

“I don’t understand one thing…” I muttered quietly and Vernon hummed to show me he was listening closely, “You guys keep telling me how nice it is to spend time with me, how I make you forget about your worries blah blah blah…”

“How many of us have said that to you?” Vernon asked with a laugh and I pouted, counting the members of SVT who have told me that at one point.

“I mean…Chan approached me just three months after I met you guys, asking me if when I had free time I’d like to play videogames with him, because he liked my calming presence. Then, sometime when Soonyoung was drunk, he also confessed he really liked me and hoped Mingyu would keep me around forever, then Seokmin and even Jihoon proceeded to tell me that being around me made them feel normal. I’m pretty sure at some point Minghao and Jeonghan too might have said something…Now you and well…Mingyu said so too.”

Vernon nodded with his mouth in an ‘O’ shape and I chuckled as I watched him amused, his expression funny as he hummed deeply.

“Well…like I said, you’re cool and everyone from SVT likes you because you’re nice and very straightforward, which quite frankly, many people are afraid to do when it comes to us. Everyone who knows about our reputation is scared of us, bows down to us and pleases us before we could even voice what we need. I guess you not giving a fuck about who we are is a very liberating feeling, some of us do miss having a normal life, you know?” Vernon’s words settled in my mind and I nodded, offering him a small smile as he pulled up to the bookstore.

“Sometimes it would be just nice to shut up though.” I said with a chuckle and Vernon laughed, “Like that one time when I said Jeonghan couldn’t use a gun because he was a tech genius…and then we went on that duel to find out who was right…all I’m saying is, good thing Wonwoo found us before we could do much damage to each other. Jeonghan was really pissed off and I was ready to shoot him.”

Vernon shook his head as he surely remembered the incident, he said they’ve never heard Wonwoo screaming that loudly before, let alone scolding someone that was older than him. Safe to say, everyone who was present at their vacation house that day swore to never tell Mingyu about the incident, sure that Jeonghan would lose his precious fingers for even daring to challenge me.

“Mingyu shouldn’t fuck up things with you.”

I scoffed and undid my seatbelt, “Slowly I’ve been here for almost a year, Vernon, I think he’s doing fine.”

He offered me a smile as I leaned over the middle console to give him a quick hug, getting my purse from the backseat and then I got out of his car, waving at him as Vernon drove away. I turned and headed inside the bookstore, heading for the backroom. I left my jacket on the hanger and purse in my locker and pulled my hair in a low ponytail, putting on my name tag. I walked to the front of the store and took my place behind the cashier, turning on the computer that was next to it.

“Y/N?” I heard Irene calling from the storage room.

“Me; why was the door unlocked?!” I called back to her as I heard boxes being placed on each other.

“I thought I locked it, sorry!” She called back and I shook my head, sitting in the chair as Irene came up to the front desk with two boxes on top of each other.

“You always forget locking the door, it’s for your own safety.” I scolded my friend and she just rolled her eyes, placing the boxes next to each other.

“I know, I know…now help me unbox these.” She said as she pointed at the second box as she got to open the first one.

“What are these for?”

“Boss texted me saying he got some new books that we’ll have to wrap up in wrapping as he plans on organizing a blind-date Bookfest.” My eyes widened as I opened the box and I nodded at Irene.

“Nice idea, when are we doing it?”

“After he comes back from the conference he’ll be attending, so maybe like…in three weeks?” Irene thought as she took all the books out from the box and then placed a green and blue wrapper on the counter.

“I want the blue one.” I said as I quickly placed my hand on it, Irene going for the same one. She rolled her eyes at me and I stuck my tongue out at her, getting all the books from the box on the counter. She took the green wrapper and tapped the screen of the computer.

“We won’t be open for at least one more hour, put on some nice music.” I chuckled and proceeded to find a radio station that played good music to put on. Irene nodded contently as both of us started wrapping the books up and humming along to the songs. Irene’s round glasses were on the bridge of her nose and her hair was in a bun today. She wore a strapless black top and red dress pants, looking extra sexy.

“Something fancy happening today?” I spoke up after I was done checking her out and Irene gave me a brief glance as she cut up the wrapper for the next book.

“Why?”

“You’re looking a little too hot for someone who came in for work at a bookstore.” I teased her with a smirk, narrowing my eyes at her as she threw me a look. I chuckled and she shrugged, holding the wrapper down for me to tape.

“I spent last night with Jeonghan; he might come around later too…I don’t know yet.” She muttered absentmindedly and I hummed with a smile.

“So…you’re like a thing now?”

“Not really.” She shrugged, looking at me with a grimace, “Definitely could be if I wanted it to. He said he’d like to date me, but I’m really not into that right now.”

I wrapped up the next book, shrugging at her, “I mean, Jeonghan is a pretty nice dude. I don’t know if I’d miss a chance like that, but maybe it’s better if you don’t get too involved…”

I hoped the music drowned out my quiet words, but Irene still heard me well, “Why? Does he give you bad boy vibes too?”

I chuckled and realized Irene meant it seriously, so I cleared my throat and looked at her, “I mean, yeah, he does. I don’t want you to end up hurt, so just go with your intuition.”

“To be honest,” Irene’s voice raised a few octaves as she slammed her hands on the counter, “Mingyu doesn’t seem very trustworthy either, like—Jeonghan might give me bad boy vibes, but Mingyu—he’s just bad news, Y/N.”

“I thought you liked Mingyu?” I asked Irene with furrowed eyebrows and she chuckled, shaking her head.

“Sure, he’s handsome, but there’s something off about him. It’s not even his dominating aura, I might have been drunk in the club but I still saw how possessive he got over you. When you two started dancing, I accidentally made eye contact with him and I got scared he’d rip my head off with the look he was giving me. And other times too—I don’t know, I don’t like the way he thinks you’re ‘his’ when there’s nothing going on between you two.” I placed my hands on the counter as Irene finished her rant with furrowed eyebrows, looking at me questioningly. Since everyone already knew about Mingyu and I being in a relationship, it would’ve been rude to keep her in the dark for longer.

“Actually…Mingyu and I are dating, Irene.” I told my friend and her eyebrows furrowed and then she scoffed.

“Don’t tell me I’m the last one to find out.”

“You aren’t the last one to find out.” I played along with her and she rolled her eyes, leaning against the counter with her arms resting on top of it.

“That’s a lie, how rude of you, I thought you were my friend!”

“I am!”

“For how long have you been dating?” Irene raised her eyebrows and I pursed my lips, my fingers tapping against the counter.

“For little over a month now.” I answered her.

“Is he good to you?” Irene asked with concern lacing her voice and I offered her a small happy smile.

“Too good sometimes.”

“A man is never too good, Y/N.” Irene gave me a look and I started laughing as the front door opened, the bell chiming loudly.

“We are not open yet!” Irene called loudly, and a bit harshly, as she turned around to face the door. My glare was instant as it fell on the person who walked in, her blonde hair falling in waves down her back. She wore dress pants and a low-cut top as she carried her bag on her arm.

“I’m not here to buy a book—” Sana’s shrill voice echoed around the room and I sighed, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I know exactly why she’s here.

“What do you want then?” Irene’s voice was harsh and I didn’t understand why, as she glared at the woman.

“I have some questions to ask Y/N,” Sana’s eyes fell on me and I raised my eyebrows at her, “I never got to investigate her deeper.”

“Oh, so is it ethical to find me at my work place and question me? You aren’t even wearing your uniform.” I snapped at Sana as she walked up to the counter, placing her bag on top of the books wrapped in blue wrapping. Irene stood beside her and she gave me a look, before she looked back at Sana with a glare. I didn’t understand where her sudden rage came from, but I didn’t question it as I embraced myself mentally for whatever questions Sana had. We remained silent, the music playing only, as Sana opened her bag and felt around it before taking out her phone. She typed on it for a few seconds before she placed it on top of the counter, pressing the recording button; she planned to record our conversation.

“This is Officer Minatozaki Sana talking to an affiliate of our main suspect, Kim Mingyu. State your name and age.” Irene’s eyes widened and I sighed as I shook my head at her, cursing Sana in my head for turning up here.

“Oh Y/N, age 25.” I answered monotonously and when Sana gave Irene a glance, as if she was demanding her to leave us alone, Irene gave her a scowl.

“Fine,” Sana muttered to herself, “Where did you grow up and where do you live now?”

“I grew up in a town two hours from here and I live in Seoul now, officer.” I kept my voice leveled as Sana hummed, thankful that she wasn’t asking stupid questions.

“What do you do for a living now and any upper studies that you have?” Irene scoffed at the question but Sana and I ignored her.

“I work at a bookstore and I’m an engineering student.” I raised my eyebrows at Sana when she gave me a sour look, she probably knows Mingyu has an engineering degree too.

“How did you meet Kim Mingyu?” Finally, the questions she was dying to get to, no doubt.

“Through my best friend.”

“Names?” Sana raised her eyebrows and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I don’t want to drag him into this.” Sana’s lips pulled in a thin line but she continued on like nothing happened.

“Do you know what Kim Mingyu does for a living, Miss Oh?” I smiled sweetly at Sana as I leaned closer to her phone.

“He has an engineering degree and is a business man now.” Sana hummed, lips pulling into a small smirk.

“What business, Miss Oh?”

“Do you not know, Officer Minatozaki? Do I have to tell you that myself too?” Sana threw me a glare as a chuckle left her lips.

“Of course not, I know it myself too. I just wanted to check if you knew.”

“Next question?” I raised my eyebrows at the blonde and she chuckled again. Mingyu never really told me about his fake business that covered up his illegal deeds, I didn’t actual know what he did, but I wasn’t about to get caught.

“What’s your relationship like with Kim Mingyu?” Her eyebrows twitched at her own question and a big smirked appeared on my lips as I looked her in the eyes smugly.

“I have to say it’s pretty good, officer, I’ve know him for over half a year, and we are dating.”

“Right, so, he’s your boyfriend?”

“He is.” I nodded with a smile, catching the amused look on Irene’s face as she watched our exchange.

“Did he by any chance…offer you some…really expensive goods?”

“None that I can think of, I don’t like gifts.” Sana gave me a glare as she licked her lips.

“Do you know a diamond ring was stolen from the auction we both attended?”

“I didn’t know,” I let fake surprise coat my face as I gave Irene a glance too, seeing her just as surprised even if she didn’t know what we were talking about, “I just went there to have a good time with my boyfriend. I reckon that’s what gave him a bad mood for a week…he bought the ring, but then it disappeared.”

“Exactly, it disappeared. A six-million-dollar worth ring…everyone would be pissed about, not Kim Mingyu, he didn’t have to give his money away in the end.” Sana’s jaw clenched and I offered her a small smile.

“Don’t you think he was pissed too? He wanted that ring after all.” Sana’s expression smoothened out and she sighed quietly, leaning against the counter.

“Did he ever bribe you to do anything for him? Threaten you maybe?”

“Never.” My voice was firm and Sana nodded slowly, lips pulling into a smirk.

“Have you slept with him yet, Y/N? You know…Mingyu can be very persuasive and if he got you into his bed already, I’m assuming he used you to your full capacity—” Sana and Irene both jumped as I slammed my hand down on Sana’s phone, stopping the recording.

“This questioning takes an end here, Sana.” My voice was low and threatening, eyes gazing into Sana’s.

“No, seriously, has he fucked you yet? I bet he hasn’t told you this, but before he even met Momo, I was his favorite thing in the world, Y/N—”

“You heard her, bitch, get out.” Irene snapped loudly, gripping Sana’s arm harshly. Sana just laughed loudly as I tried to remain calm and not lunge at her. If I get angrier than I already am, I’m giving her the satisfaction she wanted. And so, who cares if Sana and him were a thing? It happened a long time ago and Mingyu seems to be over her, I’m not threatened by her anymore. I won’t let her get under my skin anymore, not after I talked to Mingyu about her and the situation they were in. It’s her personality that makes me want to choke her.

Sana got the message that she had nothing to do here anymore as Irene still didn’t let go of her arm, her glare so scary I would’ve run off a long time ago. Sana took her bag and phone and gave me one satisfied smirk as she looked at Irene with superiority.

“Take your hands off, Miss Bae, you wouldn’t want a complaint for aggressing an officer, would you?” Irene opened her mouth to snap back at Sana, her chest raising and falling quickly because of her angered state, but I spoke up.

“I’m also sure you wouldn’t want me complaining to Mingyu about your little visit, right, Sana?” She looked at me and stepped back, ready to leave.

“Of course not, let’s keep it between us, girls.” Sana winked at me and Irene stepped towards her, but I leaned over the counter and gripped her shoulder to stop her. Sana looked satisfied with our reactions and turned her back to us, headed for the front door. As her hand touched the handle, I cleared my throat and she looked back.

“Oh, and…I’m sorry to hear Mingyu used you to your full capacity, Sana, he must have gained a lot quickly in the time you were together if he dumped you. I’ve heard he doesn’t like boring and easy women…” Sana’s expression changed just in a second and she was filled with rage as she took a step towards us, but Irene laughed and pointed at the door.

“Have a lovely day, Sana.” She spoke mockingly as Sana gave us a glare before storming out of the bookstore. The air remained stiff as Irene turned to look at me. I continued to stare at the place Sana stood at, taking a deep breath.

“What the fuck was that?” Irene snapped, eyebrows raised and hands on her waist like a scolding mother.

“Too long of a story…” I muttered as I picked up the blue wrapping, “Let’s get this done, Sana held us up for almost twenty minutes.”

“What a bitch.” Irene muttered under her breath and I snorted, sharing a look of amusement with her.

           The rest of our day continued without Sana bothering us anymore, or anyone from SVT for that matter. Irene told me that Sana kept coming in almost daily, asking to speak to me when I wasn’t even there and would get pissed if Irene refused to give away my contacts. She said she couldn’t stand Sana, that something was definitely off, especially her reaction when Irene refused to tell her where I lived wasn’t very normal. She asked why the police was investigating Mingyu and I lied to her about him being under surveillance for money washing, which probably wasn’t a very big lie, Mingyu might be doing that. The bookstore was busy today and by five o’clock in the afternoon both Irene and I were ready to close up. We had ditched our name tags and Irene applied red lipstick to her lips while I washed my hands in the sink, grumbling about Jeonghan not visiting her today. I chuckled as I pulled on my coat, holding my purse as Irene got her stuff too and we headed to the front of the bookstore. We turned off all the lights and made sure all windows were shut before we left the bookstore to lock up. My eyes fell on the lean body of the man that was leaning against the brick wall around the curb, eyes on us. Jeonghan winked at me and I rolled my eyes, nudging Irene’s side when she was done locking the door.

“Someone’s here for you.” Her head whipped around and a smirk pulled onto her lips when she spotted Jeonghan.

“My efforts to look good today didn’t go to waste.” She exclaimed with a smile and quickly hugged me, taking off towards Jeonghan. I watched them with a shake of my head and Jeonghan smiled at Irene when she stopped in front of him. He hugged her tightly and then made eye contact with me, pointing towards the road which was to my right. I turned my head to look and Wonwoo’s familiar car greeted me, Wonwoo was leaning against his car.

“Good evening, Miss Oh, took you long to notice this fine man waiting for you.” I scoffed and shook my head, looking back at Jeonghan and Irene to wave at them. They called out their goodbyes to us before taking off, Jeonghan’s arm around Irene’s shoulder as she snuggled up into his side.

“Good evening, Mr. Jeon, I was busy watching my friend, my apologies.” I bowed my head deeply, making Wonwoo chuckle as he pushed off his car.

“Haven’t seen Jeonghan with someone in a long time.” He muttered as I approached him, smiling when he opened his arms.

“I haven’t seen you with anyone, Wonwoo…and I’ve known you for a while now.” I raised my eyebrows at him as I hugged the taller man, giggling when his fingers tickled my sides.

“I don’t have time for a serious relationship,” Wonwoo’s deep voice was loud in my ear and he sighed, pulling away, “And I don’t want to put anyone in danger. I’m better off on my own.”

“Are you though?” I raised my eyebrows at him and Wonwoo suddenly looked tired. He just shrugged and opened the backseat door for me.

“Let’s get going before Mingyu could complain to us.” I chuckled and got inside the car, shutting the door for myself as Wonwoo jogged to the driver’s seat. He got in and we both buckled up as he started the car, putting it into motion. I got comfortable against the leather seat of his car and played with the strap of my purse; lips pursed as I thought. Wonwoo wasn’t very talkative, only when he had something exciting to tell you and most of the time I enjoyed the silence when I was with him, but today I was feeling a bit uneasy and wanted a distraction. Sana’s words didn’t bother me, it was what Irene told me that left a sour aftertaste. Why was Sana so set to find out where I live and how she should contact me. I’m sure investigating Mingyu wouldn’t have involved me this much, after all, I answered her questions both times she asked me to.

“Why didn’t Mingyu pick me up?” I spoke up, seeing Wonwoo glance back in the rear-view mirror.

“He told me he’d be home before us, but he had to go to the Bank.” Wonwoo answered, changing lanes as he sped up the car.

“Why?” I asked with my eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t know, he didn’t tell me…” His voice got quiet and he gulped, “I’m not his second-in-hand, remember? I’m not supposed to know more than I’m supposed to know.”

I bit my lower lip and looked out the window awkwardly, remembering my words when they brought an injured Mingyu into my apartment a week ago, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I meant what I said. I trust Seungcheol, there’s a reason why Mingyu chose him for that role.”

“You’re right,” Wonwoo muttered with a nod of his head, “I overstepped some boundaries, I’m only Mingyu’s friend.”

“Thank you for taking care of him, I know he needs it.” I muttered with a sigh and Wonwoo chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. We grew silent as I continued playing with the strap of my purse, trying to decide if talking about Sana to Wonwoo was a good idea or not. Deciding asking him wouldn’t hurt, I spoke up again.

“Wonwoo, please don’t tell Mingyu this, but…Sana came in to question me with the pretext that it’s for the investigation…” Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed and I continued talking, “But then Irene told me she’s been coming to the bookstore almost daily and was asking for my contacts and where I lived.”

“We have to tell Mingyu.” Wonwoo’s voice grew hard and I shook my head, catching his eyes through the rear-view mirror.

“No, not yet…I don’t think it’s very important, it just freaked me out a little bit.” He sighed and his lips pulled in a thin line, nodding wordlessly.

“Did they seriously date? Sana said something like that…” Wonwoo scoffed as disgust coated his expression, the car pulled into the neighborhood these two lived in.

“Sana is a sick woman; I have no idea how she’s so high up in the police. She’s been pinning on Mingyu ever since Momo introduced them to each other—”

“Wait, what?” My eyes widened and I leaned forward, eager to hear more, “She said her and Mingyu met before he even knew Momo.”

Wonwoo laughed deeply, shaking his head, “She obviously lied, her and Momo were very close. Once Sana started making advances towards Mingyu and he told Momo about it, Momo flipped and cut ties with Sana. Years later she showed casually in her police uniform at Mingyu’s house and dumped a big folder in front of him, telling him that she knew everything about him and his illegal business.”

Wonwoo stopped in front of Mingyu’s mansion and clicked away on his phone before the gate opened, “Then she proceeded to disappear, Joshua and Jeonghan dug up some information about her and we found out she was lead investigator and started building a case against Mingyu with the pretext that he abused Momo—”

“Which she wasn’t very wrong about.” I interrupted as Wonwoo pulled into the driveway slowly.

“Yeah, she wasn’t, but—she would always come and go. Sometimes disappear for a long period of time and show up suddenly, sometimes for months or weeks or just days. We could never get rid of her, at first I thought she was doing this because Mingyu ruined her best friend. But then I figured it was because she was just obsessed with Mingyu, because he never gave her the attention she craved. She’s harmless if you ask me, but don’t provoke her. You never know what a person is capable of.”

I took a deep breath and let out a long sigh as Wonwoo parked the car inside the garage, undoing his seatbelt. I did so too and he turned the engine off, turning around to look at me, “As long as you’re with us nothing bad can happen to you. Sana is harmless, she’s just trying to scare you off. She’s curious and obsessed about finding out more about you because Joshua and Jeonghan made you look like a ghost, no one can find information about you now…just like the rest of SVT, understood?”

“Understood.” I muttered with a grimace and he chuckled.

“Go ahead, Mingyu’s in his office waiting for you.” I thanked Wonwoo quietly and got out of the car, heading for the door that led inside the house. I passed through the living room and stopped in the hallway, taking off my shoes and jacket, leaving my purse there too. I went up the marble stairs and once upstairs I headed for the door of his study. I pushed the door open but no one was inside, I glanced back at Mingyu’s bedroom door, but if Wonwoo said Mingyu was waiting here for me I should probably stay here, I stepped inside. Two windows were open and the fresh breeze of the evening left a homey feeling in the room, the smell of Mingyu’s cigarettes strong the further I walked inside. My eyes were drawn towards his big study desk and they fell on a simple velvet box. It was small and my heart started beating quickly without a reason. I approached the desk with slow steps, eyes not leaving the velvet box. This can’t be what I think it is…Mingyu wouldn’t—no, I’m probably just overreacting, why don’t I just wait until—

“Sugar,” The sudden voice behind me made me jump. Before I could face Mingyu, he was already behind me, his arms circled around my torso and his chin resting on my shoulder, “How are you?”

I cleared my throat and placed my hands on top of his, gripping them softly, “Glad that work is over, you?”

“Happy to be with you finally.” I chuckled, but my eyes fell on the box once again. Mingyu remained quiet and I gulped, waiting for him to say something. He’s not going to…propose…right? My heart started beating even faster and Mingyu chuckled, making me flinch.

“Why are your ears so red?” He asked amused and pressed a kiss behind my right ear, his hot breath fanning my skin. I cleared my throat and shrugged, moving my head back to be able to look at him.

“It’s probably the lightning.” Mingyu snorted before leaning down to press his soft lips against mine. There was a hint of coffee on his lips as I pressed mine against his, closing my eyes. Mingyu hummed before he pulled back, his lips pulling into a wide smile. My heart felt like it was about to explode as I looked at him, his cute canines showed.

“Why are you so flustered?” He asked with a laugh, leaning down to peck my lips again, “Your whole face is red, sugar.”

“Whatever.” I scoffed and shimmied myself out of his hold, crossing my arms in front of my chest as Mingyu narrowed his eyes at me.

“Well…” He said with a shrug and stepped closer to the desk, placing his hand on the velvet box. I bit my lower lip and looked at him nervously, hugging myself as if I was standing on eggshells, “This is for you, Y/N.”

My eyes fell on the velvet box and I gulped, “For me? Why…”

“Why?” Mingyu rolled his eyes and gripped my arm, detaching it from around my torso, “Because this was for you from the very beginning, I just needed things to cool off a little before I gave it to you.”

“What are you talking about?” My eyebrows furrowed as Mingyu pressed the velvet box into my palm and I detached my other arm from around myself too, gripping the box with both hands. It wasn’t heavy at all. Mingyu wasn’t on one knee, it meant he wasn’t proposing, so that’s good. My heart calmed down a bit and I took a deep breath, Mingyu watched me excited. I looked back at the velvet box and quickly opened it, jaw falling open. It was the diamond ring from the auction. The stone was in rose gold, the ring very simple, as the diamond had a teardrop shape and had a sparkle I haven’t seen before, even in the dim light of the room.

“This is the ring you stole…” I muttered as I continued watching it, unable to look away. I wasn’t into expensive things, but I would lie if I said I didn’t like this ring. It was so beautiful and simple, exactly my taste.

“Well…it was ours since we bought it…” Mingyu corrected me with a small smile, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against the sofa behind him.

“You never paid for it…” I shot back at him and he chuckled as he nodded down at the ring.

“Put it on, sugar, it’s yours.” I was at a loss of words, not having expected a gift like this one, so I finally gripped the ring and pulled it out of the box. It had a decent weight for something so small and I carefully slipped it onto my left middle finger. I moved my hand slowly, watching the diamond glint as I felt Mingyu’s eyes on me.

“You like it.” His voice was confident and I chuckled as my eyes fell on him.

“I do like it, but I don’t think I should wear it—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Mingyu rolled his eyes, extending his arms to rest them on my waist, “It’s yours and you will wear it every day, okay?”

“What if I lose it—” Mingyu scoffed and pulled me into him.

“I’ll get you another you.” I huffed and placed my hands against his chest, his eyes fell on my left hand where the diamond ring was.

“I’ll just be careful not to lose this one, okay?” I raised my eyebrows at him and he smirked, looking back at me. He nodded his head and leaned in to kiss my forehead, making me sigh loudly. Sana slipped from my mind as I was in Mingyu’s comforting presence, what Wonwoo told me about her forgotten as I couldn’t stop looking at the ring. It looked good on my finger; I couldn’t lie.

           Seungcheol kept on rambling about his failed exam as we walked down the stairs of our University. It was our last day before the spring break would begin and I couldn’t have been happier. We were getting closer and closer to our graduation; I couldn’t wait to be done with this horrible place. The weather was nice so I ditched my jacket and stuffed it inside my backpack before we left class. Seungcheol’s loud sigh made me look at him with raised eyebrows. He was giving me his usual scowl when he thought I wasn’t listening to him and I rolled my eyes, throwing my arm around his shoulders.

“Stop sulking, you’ll fix your grade in our last semester.” I told him with a smile and he rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have much choice…” He grumbled and I chuckled, shaking his shoulders to cheer him up, “If Mingyu would leave me alone when exams come around, it would be really helpful.”

I knew he was right so I nodded, patting his shoulder, “I’ll talk to him and ask him to leave you alone, okay?”

“Thank you, but there’s certain things he can’t do without me—”

“Why? Did he start listening to you again?” I raised my eyebrows and Seungcheol chuckled, grabbing my arm and taking it off his shoulder.

“Yeah, I heard you lashed out at him when he got injured.”

“Soonyoung told you, didn’t he?” I muttered with a sigh as Seungcheol hooked his arm with mine, “He just can’t shut up.”

“It was actually Wonwoo,” I looked at Seungcheol surprised and he started laughing, patting my hand with his free hand, “Wonwoo always tells me everything, did you not know?”

“How was I supposed to know?!” I exclaimed, eyes wide, as Seungcheol laughed again loudly, “Did he tell you stuff that…maybe you wouldn’t want to know?”

Seungcheol huffed and looked at me amused, his silver lip piercing was glinting, “Did you do anything I wouldn’t want to know about?”

“Uh—” I smiled at him sweetly and snuggled up into my friend’s side, “Definitely not!”

Seungcheol playfully rolled his eyes before they fell on the hand that I placed against his chest. I raised my eyebrows at him as we continued walking around the University, watching his eyebrows furrow.

“Mingyu gave you the diamond ring?” Seungcheol sounded confused and I tilted my head at him, glancing down at the ring on my middle finger.

“Was he not supposed to?” I asked quietly and Seungcheol cleared his throat as if he realized what he had said. He looked up at me and patted my cheek affectionately and shook his head cutely, trying to act as if he said nothing. I gave him a look but he refused to speak as he pulled me after him to cross the road. Students were coming and going and I looked around to make sure I wouldn’t walk into anyone as Seungcheol walked eagerly. Suddenly, my attention got caught by a blonde head in the crowd that was headed our way. A mask was covering their mouth and nose, but the person looked very familiar. Especially the bag they were carrying. My eyebrows furrowed as I kept staring at the woman who reminded me of Sana an awful lot and when Seungcheol stopped walking, I ran into him.

“What are you looking at?” He asked confused and I quickly pulled on his hair, not wanting him to see her. I knew if I told Seungcheol about Sana coming to the bookstore multiple times and even questioning me yesterday and now showing up here, he’d flip and cause a scene. I knew if I felt like something was wrong Seungcheol would sense it and take matters into his hands, but I didn’t want our good moods ruined.

“I thought I saw Joshua.” Was what I came up with instead and Seungcheol groaned, giving me a glare, “What? Am I not allowed to confuse people?”

“Why Joshua—”

“How are things going?” I raised my eyebrows and Seungcheol looked away with a frown, putting distance between us. I looked at him curiously and he shrugged as if he was embarrassed.

“I don’t have much to say, Joshua and Jeonghan are busier sometimes than the rest of the gang. He doesn’t have time to meet up with me very frequently.” I hummed and watched as Seungcheol buried his hands in his pants pockets.

“Why not be a good boyfriend and surprise him?”

“Boyfriend?!” Seungcheol’s eyes turned round and I started laughing as I watched his expression morph into shock, “Please, don’t say that! We aren’t even dating…it’s nothing serious between us, don’t say things like that!”

“Wow, calm down, Cheol…I was just asking, I’m your best friend.” I rolled my eyes and he gave me a grimace about to speak up but I cut him off before he could, “Back to my ring. Who was supposed to get it?”

Seungcheol just sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Initially no one, but then Mingyu thought manipulating Sana with it would be a good idea.”

Of course, here comes Sana again. Why is this woman suddenly all up in everyone’s business? I swear I can’t stand her.

“Why did she not get it then?”

“She’s not worthy of such ring, Mingyu said so. And he’s been really pissed off lately since she started another investigation against him.”

“What?” I raised my eyebrows, stepping closer to Seungcheol, “Why?”

“Y/N…Mingyu should tell you these things, not me…”

“Well, Mingyu never talks to me, so spill. Now.” I gave Seungcheol a glare and he bit his lower lip, taking his piercing between his teeth for a second before he sighed loudly and stepped even closer.

“One of Seungkwan’s warehouse full of weapons got raided not long ago, because basically Sana planted some false evidence inside and got a warrant to go inside and look. She’s hellbent on taking down Mingyu and that’s why he’s been spending so much time with her. He’s trying to play her, Y/N, manipulate her so that she drops the whole case—”

“Wait,” I raised a hand and took in a deep breath, “Is Mingyu sleeping with Sana to keep her quiet?”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed and he gave me a look, “Of course not, Y/N. He’s with you.”

“When did that ever stop someone from cheating on their significant other?” I snapped and Seungcheol snorted, fueling my anger. I kept telling myself I was over this after my conversation with Mingyu and that I didn’t give a shit about what Sana and Mingyu did together, but every time I learned a little more about their relationship, the more it angered me. I wanted Sana out of the picture, especially since she was creating problems for Mingyu.

“Mingyu isn’t like that and I’m not taking his side. You know I’m not his biggest fan, but when Mingyu commits to someone, he won’t fuck around with others…figures why getting Sana to give up is taking so long—ow!” Seungcheol exclaimed in pain as I punched his chest hard, giving him a hard glare.

“Why don’t you sleep with Sana?” I scoffed and Seungcheol gave me a very unamused chuckle.

“I’m currently trying to build a relationship with Joshua, that would complicate things.” I sighed quietly and Seungcheol rubbed his chest where I punched him.

“And Sana isn’t obsessed with you…” I muttered and Seungcheol looked at me with an apologetic smile, about to pull me into a hug when the horn of a car made us both jump. I looked behind Seungcheol as he turned around and we both glared at Mingyu as he gave us a very amused smirk.

“Ops, didn’t mean to scare you two.” He touched his lips with his hand in a childish way as he spoke to us through the rolled down window. Seungcheol and I scoffed at the same time and he turned to look at me.

“I guess you have a ride back home now.” He muttered and I chuckled as I quickly gave him a hug.

“Call me when your classes are over, we can have dinner together tonight, but I need to cook something.” Seungcheol hummed as he pulled back from the hug and went to open the door of the Mercedes for me.

“I might be busy tonight, but I’ll give you a call.”

“With Joshua?” I whispered as I got inside the car and Seungcheol sighed, shaking his head at me. I giggled and thanked him when he closed the door, waving at him as Seungcheol walked away waving back at me.

“My kiss?” Mingyu spoke up as Seungcheol and I continued waving at each other aggressively even though he was already on the other side of the road. I laughed and finally looked at Mingyu, tsking at him when he stopped me from waving anymore.

“What good did you do today to deserve this kiss?” I raised my eyebrows at Mingyu and he scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Didn’t know I needed to do anything to get a kiss from my girlfriend.”

“Nothing’s for free, Mingyu.” I shrugged and turned up the volume of the radio, shrugging my backpack off. Mingyu scoffed again, lips jutting out as he was giving me a small glare. I flashed him a smile and dumped my backpack in the backseat, groaning when Mingyu gripped the back of my head and leaned down. He licked his lips and gave me a cheeky smile before pressing his lips against mine. I kissed him back and rolled my eyes, pulling back when he tried moving his lips. His honey scent was strong, as if he put on his cologne right before I got in. Mingyu raised his eyebrows at me and went to kiss me again, but I pocked his left side, making him groan.

“Why did you do that, sugar?” He groaned and pushed away my hand from his wound.

“Wanted to see how your wound is healing.” I said with a shrug and he scoffed, looking back at me.

“So, you poke it to the point it might open up?” I laughed and leaned up to press a kiss against his lips.

“It’s been a week; it can’t open up…hopefully…” I giggled and Mingyu sighed, pressing a kiss against my forehead before he released me. He got comfortable in his seat and I rolled up the window on my side. He put on the signal that he was getting out of the parking spot and absentmindedly my hand went to grip his. I hummed along to the song playing on the radio and I could see Mingyu have a small smile on his lips from my peripheral vision.

“What did you do today?” I asked as Mingyu drove out into traffic. He glanced at me and the smile didn’t disappear from his lips, he rarely smiled, it brought butterflies to my stomach, he was almost always smirking.

“I slept in, because you said I should rest more. Then I had breakfast with Wonwoo and then I headed to the headquarters.” I chuckled and looked at him, raising my eyebrows at him.

“Will you tell me what happened that you’re so happy?” I squeezed his hand when he sped up instead of slowing down at the traffic light turning yellow.

“Consider our deal with the police almost done, I’m really close to getting all investigations stopped.” I hummed and watched Mingyu’s expression turn into a prideful smirk as he got proud of himself. I snickered and raised our hands to press a kiss against his knuckles, it brought a wide smile onto his lips again.

“Isn’t your boyfriend a genius?” He asked and glanced at me, swerving between the three lanes fast.

“Mhm, he is.” I muttered and Mingyu chuckled, his canines poking his lower lips.

“And he’s also really handsome, sexy, irresistible, fuckable—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” I scoffed and Mingyu hit the brakes, sending us a bit forward as the traffic light turned red before he could cross it, “How about from now on I drive, hm?”

“No.” He shook his head and pursed his lips, leaning his head against the headrest, “Admit it though…that I’m all the things I said a second ago.”

I snickered and leaned over the console, letting go of his hand to place it on his thigh. The muscle tensed up underneath my palm and Mingyu turned his head to look me in the eyes. I smirked at him and leaned close enough to brush my nose against his.

“You are…” I pursed my lips and Mingyu moved his head a little to press a very short kiss against my lips, barely touching, “Cute.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes, pushing me away by my head and it made me laugh loudly.

“I’m not cute.” He grumbled to himself as he started driving again, a few cars were already honking behind us.

“You are though…” I muttered with a giggle and he slapped my hand away from his thigh, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek; I knew he was frustrated. I reached my hand out for the button and turned the volume of the radio down, resting my arm on the middle console and my chin in my palm. I watched Mingyu quietly, smiling at him softly. He wore a white form fitting T-shirt and a red, long cardigan with a cream-colored pattern over it. You only ever saw Kim Mingyu wearing sweats inside his house, but today he ditched his dress pants and wore silky and comfortable looking cream-colored pants. His hair was down, fanning his forehead, his undercut was slowly growing out.

“You’re staring.” He muttered, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, as he turned the steering wheel, turning onto a different street.

“Am I not allowed to?” I muttered back and he nodded, lips jutting out again.

“Of course, yes, especially if you’re staring at me. But something’s bothering you now, so shoot.” I sighed and looked down at the middle console, tracing my fingers against the hard fabric.

“I’m pretty sure I saw Sana today at the University…” I spoke up with a hint of anger in my voice and Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed, “And she came to the bookstore yesterday to question me. Irene said she kept coming around and wanting to speak to me even before.”

Mingyu hummed and drove slowly as there was a slight traffic jam, “She told me she had to question you because you’re my girlfriend, don’t worry about her, sugar. Sana is harmless, she wouldn’t dare touch you.”

I shrugged and sat back in my seat, looking out the window, “I don’t know…I don’t like her much. Irene doesn’t either, that says a lot, she usually likes most people. And Wonwoo and Vernon…the list goes on, even Seokmin hates her.”

“She’s got a difficult personality, but, like I said—I’m almost done with the police, so that demands a celebration!” Mingyu exclaimed, looking at me as he came to a stop in front of my apartment building. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity, deciding to ignore how quickly he brushed off the topic with Sana.

“What do you have in mind?”

“I’m sailing out tomorrow with the boys for a day—”

“Sailing out?” I interrupted Mingyu quietly, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah, I have a yacht.” Mingyu said with a shrug and I scoffed, undoing my seatbelt.

“Of course, you have a yacht.” I grumbled to myself and Mingyu chuckled, leaning closer to me.

“I had in mind that you join us.” I smiled at him and almost closed the gap between us.

“That sounds awesome.” His eyes widened and I chuckled, pressing a kiss against his cheek before I grabbed my backpack from the backseat.

“Wait—you’re not going to argue with me about it? You’re just—coming? Without me having to pester you until you have no choice but to say yes?”

I started laughing as I opened my door, looking at Mingyu amused, “My boss is going away for some conference, University is over for two weeks since I have spring break, I don’t see why I wouldn’t want to join you guys.”

“Huh,” Mingyu huffed and rubbed his chin with a teasing glint in his eyes, “I feel like someone is getting soft.”

“You’ve got the wrong feel then!” I flipped him off before closing the door of the Mercedes and Mingyu started laughing. I raised my eyebrows at him and wiggled my fingers at him before I turned around and started walking towards the entrance of the building.

“You should wear those jeans more! It brings out the roundness of your ass!” A few people glanced my way who were passing by when Mingyu yelled out of his car. I rolled my eyes and continued walking, ignoring his words. He drove away as I went to type in the passcode and I sighed, running through the outfit ideas I had in mind for tomorrow.

           In the end, after looking at the weather forecast, I settled on wearing a white crop top and a muddy green dungaree over it. I packed a thicker jacket in my backpack and braided my hair in two, wanting it out of my face for the day. By the time I was ready, Seungcheol was knocking on my front door, looking tired. We didn’t end up having dinner together, I don’t even know at what hour he returned, but the bags underneath his eyes were a good indication that he didn’t get much sleep. He passed me some of his breakfast he had cooked and then we were off together, headed for the docks, where Mingyu’s yacht apparently was. Seungcheol wasn’t very talkative as he drove down the streets and I remained silent, humming quietly to the songs played on the radio. Once we got the docks, I spotted Mingyu and Wonwoo’s familiar cars as Seungcheol had to park around the corner as there was no space on that street anymore. When we got out, the salty air and smell of freshly caught fish hit my nostrils hard and Seungcheol had a grimace on his face as we got our backpacks and walked towards the docked smaller ships and yachts. There was music coming from the last one and I knew it was Mingyu’s, the yacht was huge. And Seokmin and Seungkwan were shouting at each other, so that gave it away too. Seungcheol quietly greeted the few fisherman that were by their boats and I followed suit, bowing at them politely, as they seemed happy to see Seungcheol there. Maybe he comes here often, he never said anything about it to me. When we got to the yacht, the little board was still lowered and Vernon’s eyes lit up when he spotted us. The yacht had three levels and it was long and spacious. I thanked Vernon when he helped me onto the yacht and took Seungcheol’s backpack as he followed suit, raising the board that created a little gate between the concrete and the yacht, apparently everyone was here. Seungcheol closed the small door and placed the board by it, taking his and my backpacks as well.

“I’ll put these in my room, if you need something, you can get it from there later—”

“Mingyu asked me to take Y/N’s stuff to his room.” Vernon interrupted Seungcheol and rubbed the back of his nape awkwardly as he looked between me and Cheol. I chuckled and took my backpack back from Seungcheol.

“Go on then, Vernon will take me there?” I asked, raising my eyebrows at Vernon.

“Sure.” He said with a grin and took off, I followed closely behind. We went to the back of the yacht, Seungcheol was hot on our tails, and I was surprised that there were stairs leading even downstairs. We entered the inside of the yacht and it was an open space, resembled a living room. I was confused when Seungcheol walked downstairs but Vernon took us upstairs.

He noticed my expression and chuckled, “There’s more space underneath the deck, so we usually take up those rooms.”

“How many of you sleep down there?” I asked curiously as we got up to the second floor and Vernon stopped to think for a second.

“There’s five rooms so…nine people can sleep there.” My mouth fell a bit open and Vernon chuckled at me as he led me towards a room that stood separately. The hallway on this floor was smaller and to your left there were three doors, leading to three different rooms. And then there was the room Vernon was leading me to, which seemed to be the biggest since there were no more doors on its side.

“Is this like the master bedroom or something?” I asked quietly as Vernon knocked on the door, but no one answered.

“Yeah, but we have another one downstairs too. Not as big as this one, but it’s fairly larger than the other regular bedrooms.” Vernon slid the door open and I was taken aback by the space in the room. I didn’t think there’d be this much space on a yacht. I’ve never even been on a yacht before.

“Wow, this is huge.” I muttered and Vernon shrugged, looking around.

“No one really sleeps in here unless they are very drunk and need to be left alone.” Vernon explained and I scoffed, turning to look at him.

“I hope I won’t have to share the bed with a third person, Mingyu already takes up all the space.” I said with a grimace and Vernon laughed, walking back to the sliding door.

“So, you’ve slept together already?” He had a teasing glint in his eyes and I threw him a glare and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “Yeah, yeah…not my business. Mingyu is upstairs in the captains room, you can head up if you want to.”

I nodded wordlessly and Vernon left, leaving the door open. I looked around the room again and walked up to the big windows, admiring the view from here. This room even had a mini balcony with two chairs and a little round table between them, I figured I could drink coffee tomorrow morning there while watching the sunrise. The bed was placed in the middle of the room, pressed up against the big windows so that wherever you turned your head, you’d be able to see the sea. There were four six drawer chests, two to the left and two to the right as you entered the room. A small bookcase which was more for decoration and a human sized mirror sat leaning against the wall. There were a few plants inside the room and I took my backpack and placed it on top of one of the chests, not finding it necessary to unpack. We’d be headed home tomorrow in the morning, I never really liked packing so I saved myself from having to do it again tomorrow. The sudden hum of the engine caught my attention and I walked to the windows again, peeking outside. Small ruffles of water came from underneath the yacht and slowly but surely, we took off. A sudden excitement I wasn’t feeling until now enveloped me and I smiled to myself, finding the butterflies in my stomach amusing.

“Someone’s excited.” I jumped and turned towards the door, clearing my throat, “Mingyu didn’t tell us you were coming.”

The excitement I felt subsided due to Seungkwan’s hostile tone and the scowl he had on his lips, “Last time I checked, Mingyu didn’t have to tell you anything about what he was doing or not.”

“Abusing the power your boyfriend has, aren’t you?” I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, Seungkwan smirked at my reaction.

“How is this abusing of his power? It’s his yacht, he brings whoever he wants on it.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes and stepped away from the doorway.

“It’s our yacht, actually, but whatever. The walls aren’t as thick as they seem, so don’t do anything funky. I’m across from you and I would like to sleep tonight.” He said sassily, pointing his forefinger at me accusingly. I rolled my eyes and took off, coming to the door.

“Go to bed before we do then.” I snapped back at Seungkwan and he scoffed, making room for me as I exited the master bedroom. I slid the door closed behind me and pushed past Seungkwan, he scoffed again. I went to the short staircase that led upstairs, onto the third level, and Seungkwan headed to the one that led downstairs. We shared a look of disgust before both of us stormed our ways, my footsteps loud as I stomped up the stairs. This was just a little cabin for the one who operated the yacht and I found Mingyu sitting on a white chair, his hands on a round wheel. There were different lights turned on on the control panel in front of him and I neared him, looking at the big table curiously.

“Sugar,” Mingyu called out and I looked down at him as he smirked at me, “What do you think?”

“It’s bigger than I expected it to be…” I muttered as I looked ahead, we were getting further away from the docks.

“Have you ever been on a yacht before?” Mingyu asked wonderingly and I scoffed as his arm sneaked around my waist.

“Of course not, you know my parents now, you saw we aren’t rich.” Mingyu hummed and pressed some buttons that I had no idea what were supposed to do and suddenly he pulled a lever and the yacht took a slower speed.

“Money isn’t everything if you aren’t happy and fulfilled.” Mingyu whispered under his breath and I looked at him, biting my lower lip. I really wanted him to share his childhood with me, I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to understand him and learn how to treat him right. I was afraid he wasn’t opening up because he didn’t trust me or worse…was only playing with me. He suddenly grabbed a walkie-talkie and pressed a button, static coming over.

“Grab the anchor, we are stopping here.” He talked into it and I glanced around, being able to make out the outlines of the city still. We didn’t go very far, as he said we wouldn’t, maybe a good thirteen minutes away? I wasn’t looking at the time.

“Copy!” Came an enthusiastic voice over the walkie-talkie, I realized it was Chan, and Mingyu chuckled as he shut it off. He looked up at me and turned his chair around, making me stand between his legs. I let my arms rest around his shoulders as he pulled me into himself by my waist, hugging onto my torso tightly. I ran my fingers through his silky hair softly, letting him burry his head in my stomach. Suddenly, he sighed and my eyebrows furrowed. I assumed he was just tired, maybe Seungcheol was with him and they both stayed up until late, but something rather was on his mind that was bothering him.

“What’s the matter?” I asked quietly, massaging his scalp in the process of playing with his hair. I knew it relaxed him, he really liked it.

“A new gang joined us, but I’m unsure if it was a good decision.” Mingyu mumbled and I hummed, “There’s a lot of members and they are all young, I don’t want them to cause problems for us. But one of them is Sana’s right hand man…I really needed them on my side, you know, sugar?”

“You do what you have to do; don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet and might not even happen.” I said quietly and he chuckled, nuzzling his face against my stomach.

“I’m a Mafia leader now, I have to think of everything, Y/N, even of things that won’t happen.”

“Well then just be yourself with them. People who don’t know you are scared of you…even your own members have a certain restraint when it comes to you. Show them they can’t mess with you, don’t allow them to make mistakes.” Mingyu chuckled and pulled back, my fingers stilled in his hair.

“You sound like you have experience in this field.”

“No, I’m just observant and smart, Mingyu.” I said with a chuckle and he smirked, standing up. I looked up in his eyes and he just grinned before walking us backwards until my back was pressed against the window. I raised my eyebrows at him and he turned my head to the right with his fingers, leaning in.

“Sometimes you can see dolphins, if you’re lucky you might see some too.” He muttered quietly in my ear and my eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s not true, I haven’t heard of dolphins habituating this sea.” Mingyu chuckled and kissed my cheek.

“You don’t believe someone who’s been sailing out here for years? Seungkwan took photos one time, ask him to show you.” I rolled my eyes and turned my head to look at Mingyu.

“Seungkwan and I aren’t on good terms, I’d rather not talk to him at all if I could.” Mingyu chuckled and caressed my cheeks.

“Not everyone can like you.” I rolled my eyes and leaned in to kiss him, pulling back before he could deepen the kiss. Mingyu smirked but his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and I raised mine at him, silently asking what was wrong.

“Last week, you found out I was an engineering student and that I’m an orphan.” I gulped and nodded, searching for Mingyu’s gaze, “Well, I actually know who my mother is. She couldn’t raise me or my sister so she gave us up to an orphanage. She left right after she gave birth to my sister, I don’t have many memories of her at that time because I was too little.”

I knew Mingyu hated being pitied so I tried to remain with a neutral expression as we maintained eye contact, my heartbeat quickened just a little, “You hear all sorts of bad stuff about orphanages and meanwhile some are wrong, most are true. I remember taking a lot of care of my sister, never letting anyone besides the nurses close to her. I made sure she was fed and cared about, I even played with her when they’d allow me. But when she was around one year old, a family came and took her away. I was devastated for a long time, until I realized she was better off at that family. Boys and even some girls started picking on me as I started growing older and I realized my little sister was in a loving family, protected from the evils I had to go through, but I wasn’t too mad about it. I always envied her for being chosen, but I still loved her very much. I still do, she’s grown into a powerful woman, sometimes you remind me of her.”

“You remained in touch with her?” I found my voice, it was quiet, but I was curious how he maintained keeping tabs on her sister.

“The family felt bad for separating us, so they let me visit her weekly. I hoped they’d grow fond of me and adopt me as well, but they only wanted a daughter. And then maybe I was around eight years old, when my mother showed up and took me back home. She suddenly had money and a stable job, it looked like she fixed her life. I don’t know how she got me back, but maybe I would’ve been better off at the orphanage. She wasn’t a very nice person and the men she had around her were definitely not good people. I got involved into street gangs when I was just nine, Y/N. Out of curiosity, boredom and dumbness, I guess. My mother didn’t care about me and my sister belonged somewhere, so I wanted to feel what she felt. I thought joining that gang was the right choice, but it obviously wasn’t…that’s why I am here today.” A small smile, a sad and tired one, appeared on his lips and I sighed quietly, rubbing his cheek lovingly with my thumb.

“I shortly after that met Wonwoo, then Vernon and Seungkwan. The others came along slowly, it wasn’t until I got into a fist fight and killed someone that people started getting interested in me. Other gangs wanted to recruit me and when I turned fifteen I realized that if I was so important that everyone wanted me, then why wouldn’t I create something that was only mine? If I alone were a weapon, why not use it to my advantage? Wonwoo and I started recruiting people and that’s when Junhui and Minghao joined us; I’m still sure they didn’t one-hundred percent understand what we were proposing to them but they went along, because everyone thought of them as bad boys. Vernon and Seungkwan followed us without questions, Seungkwan owed it to me, he had sworn to stay by my side no matter what after the generous money I started to give him to fix his own mistakes, and Vernon never does anything without Seungkwan. Seungcheol and Chan joined us at the same time and I realized I needed someone to help me out, so after a year of testing Seungcheol, I finally decided it would be him. The others came along quickly after, willingly or recruited by one of us. I didn’t have an easy childhood, I worked hard and did bad things to get to where I am right now, I refuse to let someone as stupid as Sana ruin everything I have. We’ve expanded so much that other gangs belong to us now, I’m their boss. People fear me and respect me. I have you now too…my life is finally coming together, so I’m holding on tightly to everything I can.” Mingyu’s jaw clenched as he studied my face, but all I could do was smile at him. He wasn’t the best person, but he did everything he had to do with a reason. I didn’t always do the right things either, I wasn’t about to judge him for them. Not when he finally opened up and told me so much about himself. I was happy that he trusted me with the information and I just kept smiling, confusing Mingyu a bit.

“So, like…you’re cool with the things I just told you?” I chuckled and pressed a kiss against his lips, grinning at him. He looked lost and it was so cute.

“Everyone has their own story and I’ve been waiting patiently to hear yours. I’m fine with what you told me, if you’re scared I’ll run away now, I won’t…besides, I think you’d find me even if I did.” Mingyu chuckled and nodded.

“I’d find you under five seconds, so don’t try doing that.” I chuckled and nodded in acknowledgment.

“What about your sister though? You still keep in touch?” I asked curiously, wanting to know more about her. Maybe even meet her.

“Of course, but she moved away two years ago and only visits during Christmas and New Year.”

“Can I meet her this year?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingyu smirked, leaning closer.

“Of course, she’ll be your sister-in-law, I think it’s only right you get to know each other.” I rolled my eyes as he pressed a kiss against my lips.

“Wait until I graduate at least.”

“Your mother told me weddings are best during the summer, maybe we should—”

“Stop!” I gave Mingyu a glare, pushing him back a bit, “We aren’t even engaged and stop talking about stuff like that with my mother, it’s embarrassing! Just delete her number! Block it!”

Mingyu laughed and stepped away fully, our arms detached from each other, “And miss all the baby pictures she sends me? Can’t do that sugar…”

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed embarrassed and Mingyu chuckled, headed for the stairs.

“Let’s go downstairs, see what we can do.” I huffed to myself and tried to hide the blush on my cheeks but the wide smirk on Mingyu’s lips was a tale tell sign he saw it.

           We spent the day preparing food and sharing stories. Some of the guys started drinking right away as the yacht stopped and by lunch they had to be taken care of, so we cut them off the alcohol until they recovered a little bit. I didn’t find drinking on a yacht very smart or safe, and when Seokmin really happily told me they’ve been doing it for ages and only three times did someone fall into the water and almost drown, I made sure to take away the beer he was holding onto so tightly. Minghao, Mingyu, Seungcheol and Joshua were the chefs of the day and I was hanging out with Chan and Jun as we played music. Wonwoo had disappeared as everyone started doing something and Chan said that he was either reading or sleeping in his room, so I decided not to bother him. Vernon and Seungkwan were laying on some towels on the deck’s front balcony, wearing swimming trunks and conversing quietly. I didn’t find the weather warm enough to be tanning, but if they weren’t cold I wasn’t about to interrupt their fun time. Soonyoung, Jihoon and Seokmin were the ones that needed to be taken away from the alcohol as they had a head start early in the day. Jihoon ended up sleeping on the couch in the open living room, meanwhile Soonyoung and Seokmin kept coming and going from the kitchen, saying they’d help anyone who wanted their help. Jeonghan wasn’t very talkative this time and he said he’d be in the captain’s room if anyone was looking for him, he said he’d take a nap up there after he made sure everything was fine with the yacht. The day was entertaining and relaxing, I found myself laughing almost all the time as someone was always doing or saying something funny. I have hung out with the boys as a whole before, but at the headquarters they seemed to be on high alert and tense all the time. The first time I saw them being this carefree and happy was when Seungcheol introduced me to everyone officially. I was grateful for Mingyu’s invitation, I really needed to relax a little bit. Lately too many things were on my mind and as if university wasn’t stressful enough, Sana lurking around us constantly was really off putting. I tried to act mature after the talk Mingyu and I had about her, and after even Seungcheol reassured me, but it was a bit weird how uncaring Mingyu acted when I brought her up. Maybe it was because he didn’t want me to flip on him again, or maybe he wasn’t telling me about something. As long as he didn’t do anything that would directly hurt me, it was fine with me.

The day went by quickly, since when someone is feeling really good time seems to be flying, and we found ourselves gathered at the table inside. The sun was gone and the weather turned cool as we shut all doors of the yacht to stop the cold from coming inside. Someone turned on the heating and as we put all the food the boys cooked for lunch and some for dinner, I appreciated the warm breeze inside as it warmed my cold arms up. I was too lazy to get my jacket and not tipsy enough to feel hot like Jeonghan, Seokmin and Soonyoung were feeling. I sat in a random chair at the table as Vernon placed some wine in front of me with a wink. I grinned up at him and took a sip from the glass, humming appreciatively.

“See? A friend never forgets.” He said with a wink and I patted the chair next to me, asking him to sit there. He gladly took the seat and slowly everyone gathered at the table. It was loud as I placed some food on my plate, my chopsticks getting stopped by someone else’s. When I looked up I came face to face with Wonwoo’s mischievous grin as he stole the piece of meat I wanted and I scoffed, taking another one.

“So childish…” I said with a grimace and he raised his eyebrows at me mockingly, even though I’m sure he couldn’t hear me as he was sitting across from me. Chan was sitting to my right and my eyes widened in horror when I saw him trying to pour beer in my wine glass.

“Yah, Chan!” I exclaimed and gripped his wrist before he could tilt the beer bottle and his eyes widened.

“Yes?” He asked confused and I sighed, lowering his wrist carefully to place the beer bottle back on the table.

“I have wine in that glass dude…” I told him with an exasperated huff and Chan chuckle, his ears turning red.

“Oh, sorry…I thought it was my glass.” I shook my head at him and he abandoned trying to find his glass as he drank out of the bottle. I started eating and groaned at the explosion of different ingredients once I bit into the meat. I wasn’t a big fan of it, but the condiments on this one were amazing. It tasted perfect.

“Tasty, right?” Minghao asked with a grin, he was sitting between Chan and Seokmin, as he looked at me proudly.

“Very tasty!” I exclaimed and he chuckled, biting into his own meat. Someone made a mix of rice with different vegetables, like: corn, pepper, peas, carrots; and that one was amazing too. As I reached for the salad that was in front of me, a plate from Wonwoo was passed to me. Food from each dish was on it and I looked at him surprised, taking it reluctantly.

“From Mingyu.” He said and nodded his head towards his left where Mingyu was sandwiched between Jun and Jihoon. I gave Mingyu a smile and he raised his glass in salute before downing his drink. Seungkwan, of course, had to scoff when he saw Wonwoo passing me the plate and Vernon elbowed him, dumping the noodles he didn’t like on Seungkwan’s plate.

“Can’t you let her live for a second?” I heard Vernon scold Seungkwan as he continued glaring at me. I chuckled and tapped Vernon’s thigh to let him know that it was fine and he really didn’t bother me, to be honest, I was used to Seungkwan already. Most of the time I ignored him, I would even forget sometimes that he was with us. I took another big bite of the food and happily munched on it, everything tasted so good, I’d have to learn some tricks from the guys who cooked today. Realizing I couldn’t eat all the food that was given to me by Mingyu, I looked around the table, trying to find Seungcheol. He was sitting close to the end of the table, to my left and across from me, and I almost started laughing when I saw his arm hooked with Joshua’s. The two were eating quietly with their free hands, sometimes muttering to each other, but other then that they weren’t paying attention to the people around them.

“Cheol!” I called out loudly to get his attention and his head whipped up, looking at me questioningly. I almost started laughing when I saw the red tint of his cheeks and how his eyes darted between me and the few other guys looking at them. Jeonghan started giggling and pointed a finger at Joshua and Seungcheol, but he said nothing as he looked at me and winked before going back to eating. I chuckled to myself as I grabbed the plate Mingyu gave me, I had already placed what I wanted from it on my own plate.

“What?!” Seungcheol snapped and Joshua gave him a look before smiling at me warmly. I giggled as I stretched my arm out, asking Vernon to pass it on to them.

“No need to be so hostile, Cheol, just wanted to feed you some more food.” I said with a shrug and he shook his head, taking the plate from Seungkwan, who stole two broccolis off the plate.

“Thank you.” Seungcheol flashed me a smile and I huffed, taking my glass to sip from my wine. Chan took it as his cue to grab his own bottle of beer and clink it against my own glass with too much force. He giggled when I gave him a warning look to stop, and he just leaned his head on my shoulder. I sighed and drank my wine, eyes falling on Mingyu. He was eating rapidly, as if he hasn’t eaten yet today, nodding to everything Jun was saying to him. Wonwoo was listening to their conversation too as he said a few words here and there, and as if Mingyu sensed my gaze, he looked up. I offered him a small smile and he winked at me, turning his head back towards Jun as the later started getting louder and louder while telling his story.

            After everyone had eaten enough we gathered the little leftovers and placed them inside the fridge as the guys decided to play some drinking games. The music playing was louder than earlier in the day and Chan and Wonwoo were happily singing into a microphone. I played two drinking games with the eight guys who decided to have some more fun, but decided that I was too tired to stay with them anymore. I had brought a book with me and I didn’t get to read yet today, so I decided to wish everyone a good night and retreat to the master bedroom. It wasn’t early in the evening at all, yet Jeonghan and Soonyoung called me a party popper and a grandma. I just laughed before heading up the stairs, bumping into Seungkwan as he just left the bathroom.

“I hope you didn’t puke in there.” I muttered and Seungkwan scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His eyes didn’t sit right, and his lips were pushed in a pout.

“I’m drunk, not stupid.” Seungkwan slurred and I chuckled, walking around him.

“You’re actually both.”

“Oh Y/N!” He exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing as he pointed a finger at me, “Don’t disrespect me!”

“Treat me like a decent human being then.” I snapped back at Seungkwan and he scoffed, roughly rubbing his face with his hands.

“Do you like Vernon?” Seungkwan’s eyes were narrowed into slits and I started laughing, leaning against the sliding doors of the bedroom.

“Sure, and I’m also dating Mingyu. And behind their backs I’m actually having an affair with Wonwoo and actually! Seungcheol and I got married two years ago; bet Joshua and Jeonghan couldn’t find that information about us!” I knew the alcohol in my system was making me meaner and I wasn’t even tipsy, I could hold my liquor well.

Seungkwan scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I just don’t want my friend to suffer because of a stupid girl—”

“Alright, if you’re here to insult me, suit yourself, Seungkwan. I have nothing against you, but maybe you should stop being a stuck-up whiney bitch—”

“A bitch?!” Seungkwan’s voice raised volumes and I smirked, “You’re one to talk! When you’re a gold digger, you just want Mingyu’s money—”

“I’m a what?!” I exclaimed, feeling my anger suddenly burst through me.

“You heard me! I told him you were nasty. I bet you’re the one who ratted us out to the police—” Before Seungkwan could sputter more gibberish, I lunged at him, totally disregarding my actions. Whenever I drunk even a little bit, I was ready to fight anyone. Seungkwan just so happened to pull the wrong strings tonight and as I gripped onto his blonde hair, which actually had a nice texture, a loud cry left his lips. I didn’t care who I was attacking, I was seeing red as I felt offended by his words.

“I’m the gold digger when I’ve been doing everything to ignore and avoid Mingyu?!” I screamed as I tugged on his hair and Seungkwan cried out again, gripping my wrists with his hands. I was sure no one would hear the commotion upstairs as the music was playing really loudly due to the boys wanting to have a party.

“You figured out Mingyu’s weakness!” Seungkwan exclaimed and suddenly I felt fingers around one of my braids, “He always loved a little push and play game, it was part of your plan all along!”

I exclaimed when he tugged on the braid, my scalp itched from the force, but it only fueled my anger. I fisted his hair and went to tug on it, but Seungkwan did something with his legs and I was on my back on the floor, pain shooting up through my spine.

“What the fuck?!” I exclaimed, eyes wide, as I looked up at Seungkwan who was straddling me. Our hands were finally not tugging on each other’s hair anymore, but Seungkwan looked angry that I attacked him.

“We are mafias now! Let me show you what we do to people who play with us.” That sinister smirk I always hated suddenly slipped onto his lips and I started kicking the floor with my legs, blocking his arms from reaching for my neck.

“Are you bowling up there—holy shit! Mingyu, Vernon, Jihoon! Come here!” I heard someone shouting from the stairs as I punched Seungkwan’s chest hard, knocking the air out from his lungs. His eyes widened and I took it as the opportunity to latch onto his hair again and try to push him off. I heard loud thuds over the music and suddenly I saw two people leaning over Seungkwan. I didn’t focus on them, I tugged harder on Seungkwan’s hair, making him scream out in pain.

“Let go of me! I’m going to kill this bitch!” Seungkwan screamed as his arms were being held back, so that he couldn’t reach me. I felt hands on top of mine, trying to pry them out of Seungkwan’s hair. He cried out again and trashed a bit around in pain.

“Sugar, let go of his hair.” I heard Mingyu’s voice shout over the loud music coming from downstairs, but my eyebrows furrowed and I refused to do what he told me. Someone nudged my legs and I hissed, thinking it was Seungkwan, and tugged harder.

“Yah!” By this time, I knew even more of the guys were watching us, I could hear laughter coming from the stairs, “Let go of me Oh Y/N!”

“You want me to let go now, huh?!” I screamed and Seungkwan whined, his lips turning down as he looked me in the eyes.

“I’m sorry, okay?! Just stop!”

“Sorry about what?!” I raised my eyebrows at a despaired Seungkwan, enjoying the pain on his face.

“That I called you a bitch and gold digger and—”

“What is—Boo Seungkwan!” Seungcheol’s voice topped everyone’s as someone gripped my elbows, the hands from my own disappearing.

“Get off her right now!” Seungcheol hollered and I felt the grip on my elbows tighten.

“Let go, sugar, right now.” Mingyu’s stern voice sent shivers down my spine and I finally looked up, making eye contact with my boyfriend. He was glaring hard and I very reluctantly released the hold I had on Seungkwan’s locks. In a second, Seungkwan was hauled off me and I was tugged up like I was a rag doll. Mingyu looked pissed as he looked at Seungkwan with a glare, before directing it at me.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” It was Seungcheol who exclaimed, pointing his finger at me and then at Seungkwan, “Don’t you know better?!”

He slapped Seungkwan’s cheek, not hard at all, just in warning as he looked at Vernon and Jihoon, “Take him downstairs, Joshua and I are switching rooms with him and Soonyoung.”

“You better go to sleep Seungkwan and stay away from Y/N, or I swear to God—” Mingyu’s jaw was clenched as he held onto me, pulling me slightly behind him. Seungkwan looked embarrassed and angry as he looked at his two bosses, lowering his head.

“Whatever.” He muttered before shrugging Jihoon and Vernon’s hands off him, turning to go to the stairs. The other guys were standing on the stairs, watching us with amused faces. Soonyoung and Seokmin even had their phones in their hands, which they quickly put away when Seungkwan saw them.

“Wait,” I called out with a huff, rubbing my forehead as I forced the next words out of myself, “I’m sorry too. For calling you stupid and a bitch.”

Very loud giggling followed my words and Jun gave Seungkwan a pat as he threw me a look, “Whatever.”

I scoffed and tried stepping towards him, but Mingyu held me back, “We’re going to sleep, now.”

“I’m not—” Mingyu didn’t let me talk as he opened the sliding doors and pushed me inside. I huffed and turned to glare at him, trying to head outside, but he slid the door shut.

“Go back to your business!” Mingyu called through the door, as he locked it, and I could hear the loud footsteps of the others as they descended the stairs quickly. I continued to glare at Mingyu as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Seriously?” He raised his eyebrows at me and I looked away, “I thought you were smarter than that, sugar.”

“He called me a gold digger!” I exclaimed, angry again, “And said I’m playing with you! That I went to the police and ratted you out!”

“But you know those aren’t true, why did you bother engaging in something with Seungkwan? You know he’s childish—”

“He hurt my pride.” I snapped, giving Mingyu another glare as he shook his head with a tired sigh, “I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you, Mingyu. I can take a few hurtful words once in a while but not when they are constantly aimed at me. I told you months ago that I wanted nothing to do with you—”

“Shut up!” Mingyu snapped, marching up to me, “I’m not doing this. I don’t want you to remind me again that everything happens because of me. You could have said no—”

“Oh my God!” I threw my hands up, giving Mingyu an incredulous look, “Do you even hear yourself right now? Said no? How many times did I say no, you asshole?!”

“Don’t call me an asshole.” He muttered lowly as he gripped the back of my head, pulling me in close. I glared at him and tried to take deep breaths to calm my erratic heart and stupid mind. Why was I even fighting with Mingyu? He didn’t do anything.

“I’m fed up with people constantly judging me for being with you.” I muttered and sighed, looking away from Mingyu.

“And I’m fed up with you constantly blaming everything on me, okay? You knew what you were getting into, stop whining about it all the time.” I gave Mingyu a look and he just glared back. He wasn’t wrong, but it was always easier to blame someone else. And in this case, I had a right to blame him, he really did cause many of the things I accuse him of. I took in his features as Mingyu held me in place, his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips in a tight line. I raised my hand and softly pressed my fingers on the skin between his eyebrows. His features instantly softened and Mingyu sighed, his firm grip turning tender on the back of my head.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered and offered him a small smile, closing the gap between our bodies as I leaned into Mingyu.

“I’m sorry too.” Mingyu sighed and sneaked his arms around my torso as I let my hands rest around his shoulders. The music was thumping loudly from downstairs and we could hear the cheers of the boys as they were probably playing some game. Someone was badly singing into the microphone and I would have smiled if Mingyu wouldn’t have leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips pressed against mine and I closed my eyes, melting into his touch. I felt warm in his arms and Mingyu’s lips moved slowly against mine, taking his time. I let my hands run through his hair, softly tugging on it, like I knew he liked it, and Mingyu moaned quietly, opening his mouth a little. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and Mingyu’s kiss turned hungry, our lips clashing together furiously. His lips tasted like smoke and the alcohol he’s been drinking all night long; he was probably smoking a cigarette before someone alerted him of the fight Seungkwan and I were having. I felt Mingyu’s hands roaming down my back and I tried getting even closer to him than I already was. The room felt hot, and I knew it wasn’t from the heating that was still on nor from the alcohol that was in my system. Mingyu being this close to me right now was making me lost in the feel of him and I craved to get even closer, to feel his skin on mine. My hands traveled to the hem of his long-sleeved shirt and I gripped it firmly, tugging on it. Mingyu’s lips pulled back just a little as I lifted the long-sleeved shirt over his body, throwing it on the floor somewhere besides us. Mingyu’s lips pulled into a smirk as his hands travelled to my ass and I was lifted up, legs coming around his hips as he started walking us backwards. I chuckled at him and started kissing all over his face, feeling him sit us down as I cradled his lap. His hands went to my braids and he pulled the hair ties off, running his hands through my hair to undo the braids. I tilted his head back and kissed him on the lips again and Mingyu’s hands went underneath my t-shirt, feeling up on my skin as he slowly dragged them all over my back. I sighed into the kiss and my hands went to the buckles of the dungaree to push them off, to be able to take my t-shirt off as well. Mingyu’s hands helped and in no time, my t-shirt was disregarded as well. He let his hands travel all over my torso and I moaned when he groped my breasts through my bra, pressing my lips forcefully against his. Our lips moved hungrily and I dragged my nails down Mingyu’s torso, eliciting a breathy moan from him, pushing him onto his back. His body bounced as he fell back on the mattress and I didn’t waste time as I lowered my head and left kisses all over his tanned skin, soft underneath my lips. Mingyu’s eyes were screwed shut and mouth slightly opened as his chest fell and rose at a steady rhythm, his hands gripping onto my waist as he impatiently pulled me up to kiss me on the lips. His hands pushed my hips, bringing it down on his and we both moaned at the contact. My body was on fire and everywhere Mingyu touched he left goosebumps; his own heat was suffocating. His honey like scent was intoxicating as I started circling my hips against his, feeling him get harder through his jeans. One hand squeezed my ass and the other fisted my hair as he pulled my head back, pressing kisses down my neck and collarbones. With fumbling hands, I tried undoing the buttons of his jeans as Mingyu was distracted kissing me and as I pulled the zipper, my hands pressed against his hardness, and it made Mingyu moan. He looked me in the eyes and sat up abruptly, almost knocking his forehead against mine.

“Are you sure?” His voice was husky and pupils blown wide as he looked me in the eyes. I nodded and he gently pushed me off, so that we both could get rid of our pants. I quickly pushed the dungaree off and Mingyu was already by my side, pushing me down on my back as he hovered between my legs.

“Mingyu, I want this.” My voice was just as raspy as his as I reassured him that I indeed wanted this. After he opened up about his childhood I felt like he finally put his full trust in me, I finally felt like I could truly trust him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me; I knew I meant a lot to him and I knew the feelings I felt for him he felt too just as intensely. I could see it in his eyes as his hands dragged over my legs, featherlike. I bit my lower lip as I anticipated his next move, he leaned down to press a kiss against my thigh and it made my heart jump from its place. His fingers curled around my panties and he slowly pulled them off, not breaking eye contact even for a second. Mingyu got rid of his own briefs and his hands came to rest on either side of my head. He lowered his body, so close yet not touching, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to be close to him, to feel all of him like I haven’t before.

“Mingyu.” I whispered, gripping the back of his neck, trying to get him to do something. He didn’t budge and I was getting frustrated, until he opened his mouth and spoke.

“I love you, Y/N.” My eyes widened and my heart jumped for the second time, I didn’t expect him to ever say those words to me. I figured our egos were too big to say those words to each other. I could feel the affection he had for me even if he didn’t say it. I knew I loved him, it started a while back, before there was something going on between us.

I opened my mouth to say the words back, but suddenly his skin was on mine and his lips were on mine, so filled with emotion that I was breathless. And just as I kissed him back, I felt him slowly entering me, stretching me out. My lips opened and I couldn’t help but let a moan fall from them as Mingyu pushed fully in, raising one of my knees to rest around his hips. I felt hot and full, and as I looked up at him, I could see he was just as satisfied as I was.

“I love you, Mingyu.” The words felt foreign on my lips as I breathlessly whispered them, but they were right. A smile pulled onto his lips and I tried to chuckle but his thrust knocked the wind out of me, I forgot what this felt like. But in that second I knew he was everything I’ve ever wanted.

           After everything that went down last night, I still found the energy to wake up before sunrise, brew some coffee and head to the master bedroom’s balcony to watch the sun rise in silence and peace. The other guys went to sleep not long after Mingyu and I had fallen asleep, and I wasn’t surprised that it was only me up at that hour. I walked around carefully, trying to make as little sound in the kitchen as I could as Seokmin and Soonyoung were hugging each other in their sleep on the couch in the open living room. It was a rather small couch; they should have gone to their beds. When my coffee was done, I picked up a thicker blanket that was in the kitchen and brought it over to lay it on the two sleeping men. Seokmin grumbled something as I let the blanket cover their bodies, muttering a quiet ‘thank you’. With a smile, I went back upstairs and after using the bathroom, I went onto the little balcony. The fresh sea air was refreshing and the subtle sway of the boat was calming. Seagulls flew over head and I looked up with a smile, resting comfortably in the chair. The morning breeze was cold but pleasant and I left the door to the bedroom open, it needed a little fresh air. As I looked back I could see Mingyu laying sprawled out on his stomach in the big bed, his arm laying on my pillow as he slept soundly. I smiled as it was a sight I could get used to and made a mental note to ask Mingyu to use his yacht more often. The orange hues on the sky slipped inside the room too and reflect off of Mingyu’s tan skin, giving him a soft and beautiful glow. I looked out towards the sunrise, basking in the calmness that surrounded me. I wished to be in a state like this more often. Something crashing downstairs alerted me and I stood up and walked to the railing to peek downstairs. Minghao stood frozen, with a cup of coffee in his hands, as he had just knocked over some chairs the boys probably placed next to the door of the first floors balcony. I couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression and he looked up surprised.

“Good morning!” He called quietly and I offered him a smile.

“Good morning, I didn’t think anyone else would be up.” I spoke softly, knowing he’d hear me still.

“I never miss the sunrise when we sail out, it’s too beautiful and tranquil.” Minghao’s morning voice was cute and his ruffled hair too as he spoke, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You can come up here, I don’t mind sharing the sunrise with you.” Minghao chuckled and pulled his robe around his torso tightly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking a little reluctant.

“Of course, hurry up now, it’s almost over.” I beckoned him up and Minghao nodded with an excited grin, quickly disappearing inside to come and join me.

           After everyone woke up and washed up, we ate the little leftovers there were and sailed back to the docks. It took us thirteen minutes before I set foot on the concrete, helped by Jeonghan, as Mingyu came up behind me, both of our backpacks on his broad back. I looked back at him and smiled, kissing his cheek as Seungcheol was somewhere still on the yacht. I made them clean up their mess, so that they wouldn’t need a maid to come and do it for them, and Jun was very against it but one look from Mingyu shut him up quickly. Seungkwan was surprisingly talkative this morning, even proceeded to ask me how my semester at university was and everyone laughed. Seokmin and Soonyoung pulled out their phones and thanked God they weren’t drunk enough to forget to record our fight, from two different angles. We both were embarrassed and swore never to bring it up again. As I was washing the dishes from our breakfast, Seungcheol walked up to me with a glare and I looked at him confused. Unfortunately, he heard Mingyu and I last night and he wasn’t happy that he was robbed of his sleep. I couldn’t help but laugh loudly when he very childishly complained to me about it, and Joshua walked up to us with a knowing smile before he offered to wash the rest of the dishes.

Now everyone was going towards their cars, some came together, others with their own cars. Mingyu stopped me before I could head over to Seungcheol’s car and kissed me deeply, surprising me, as Chan and Jeonghan started making gagging noises. I pulled away giggling and got my backpack from him, promising that I’d go over tomorrow for the day. Seungcheol was in a better mood than yesterday morning and looked well rested despite him complaining about Mingyu and I keeping him up. He pulled into the underground parking lot of our building and we got out quickly, headed for the elevator.

“I need a shower desperately.” He sighed as he leaned against the wall of the elevator, “I don’t like feeling the salt on my skin.”

“You should’ve showered on the yacht.” I said with a shrug as I swayed a little in the elevator.

“By the time I got to it the hot water was gone.” I chuckled and looked back at him.

“See…if you would’ve gotten up with me and Minghao to watch the sunrise, you would’ve been able to shower there.” Seungcheol shook his head with a pout and I chuckled, poking his cheek. The elevator doors opened and we both got out, going to our own apartments.

“Are you free today?” I asked as I pushed the key into the keyhole.

“If you’re in the mood to help me study, kinda.” Seungcheol said with a grimace and I nodded, remembering he failed one of his classes.

“Sure, after lunch?”

“Yeah, I want to sleep a bit more.” He muttered and we both opened our doors, I turned to wave at Seungcheol as he slammed his door shut. I chuckled and walked inside my apartment, sighing loudly as I dropped my backpack by the door. I took off my jacket and looked up, about to walk further inside when the sight in front of me made me freeze. I could see inside the living room from the hallway and what I saw left me horrified. The pillows I had on my couch were ripped up, the feathers from it laying everywhere. I dropped my jacket on the table I had by the wall and slowly took steps further inside my apartment, eyes growing wide at the sight of my kitchen. Everything was trashed, plates and cups lay on the ground shattered. There were scratches on the wall that weren’t there before. My heart was beating like crazy and I cautiously proceeded further inside, pushing the door of my bedroom open. My bedroom was a bigger mess than the kitchen. My clothes were pulled out from their places, they lay scattered around everywhere. The pillows were ripped open and the blanket was pulled off my bed, mattress cut up too. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Who would do this? Why would someone do this? Did they break into my apartment? It can’t be, this isn’t a bad neighborhood, my neighbors would’ve heard something and told me, especially Mrs. Lim. My heart was beating fast as I walked finally into the living room, eyes falling on all the shattered picture frames that once were hung on the walls. All of my notebooks and books were ripped apart and lay on the floor. I gasped when my eyes fell on a photo of myself and Seungcheol. My face was crossed out with a big red X and my eyes were missing. My hand flew to my mouth reflexively as I felt sick. I needed to get out, Seungcheol had to see this. I can’t be in here, what if the culprit is hiding in here somewhere? I turned abruptly and was about to hurry for the front door, when a blonde woman seemed to have shown up out of nowhere. She smirked at me, looking around the apartment with a worried gaze.

“What happened here?” Sana’s high-pitched voice sounded amused. It suddenly clicked in my head, why was she here? How would she know?

“Why did you do it?” I finally found my voice, I hated how it trembled. I didn’t even know what I was supposed to think right now. I can’t even escape; she’s blocking my path. My body was tense and ready to react, it was like all of my senses heightened as my heart pumped faster.

“This?” Sana looked around, motioning with her hands, “It was supposed to be a warning.”

“For what?” I asked and she huffed, looking at me like I was a little child getting disciplined.

“For bewitching Mingyu. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m truly impressed!” She started clapping slowly and I gulped, taking a few steps back when she advanced inside the living room, “I’ve been trying so hard to get his attention, nothing worked! And then you…a broke university student who happens to be the most boring person I’ve came across, catches his attention. Don’t you think it’s unfair?!”

“You can’t force someone into liking you, Sana.” I snapped, finding the confidence I always seemed to have in situations like this one. The more she spoke, the more my blood started boiling. I forgot about the initial fear I felt, all I wanted was to choke her, she deserved it.

“You know, everything was going just fine, until you came along.” Her voice was venomous as she tried getting closer to me, but I kept my distance. I didn’t glance towards the exit, trying not to remind her that if we switched places, I’d very easily be able to make a run for it. So instead, I played it smart. I walked to the right so that she’d try and come by my left side, switching our places.  

“Maybe to you everything was going just fine,” I mocked her with a disgusted face, Sana didn’t appreciate it, “But I’ve only heard shit about you. Get out of your head, Sana, Mingyu never liked you. And he’ll never like you.”

Sana’s jaw clenched and she started laughing crazily, her eyes narrowed as she watched me, “And you still think he’ll keep you around forever? That you’ll be his?”

“I’m no one’s,” I snapped, palms turning into fists, “and how my relationship goes with Mingyu is none of your business. Now that you’re here, with your special little warning, you’ve got me wondering…did Momo go crazy because of Mingyu? Or you…”

Sana’s eyes widened and I chuckled, backing towards the hallway slowly, “Yeah, I know everything Sana. If you trashing my apartment was supposed to be a warning, why are you still here? It’s a bit now embarrassing that I’ll have to tell your colleagues what a psycho their boss is.”

Sana chuckled in a very hysterical way and looked back at me with her eyes blazing from fury, maybe I shouldn’t have mocked her and instead should have taken off a long time ago, “I had a change of mind in the middle of trashing your apartment. And I’m really glad I decided to stay for a little extra surprise…because…today is the day you take your last breath, Y/N.”

My heart jumped into my throat and as I turned and took off towards the front door, Sana jumped over my coffee table and caught up with me, grabbing onto my hair. I exclaimed in pain as she hauled me back roughly and pushed me into the wall. She was holding onto my hair tightly, a lot tighter than Seungkwan was, I could feel her ripping the strands out. My eyes filled with tears from the pain and I placed my hands quickly against the wall when I felt Sana pulling my head back to smash it against the wall. My hands took the hit and Sana hissed; lips pressed against my ear.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have mocked me.” Her voice was low and I yelped when she yanked me backwards. Taking the chance, I pushed my body into hers and with all the force I had, I ran us backwards, knocking Sana into the wall this time. She didn’t let go of my hair still and I stomped on her foot, putting all of my weight into my right leg, and she cried out in pain.

“Let go, you bitch!” I exclaimed as I elbowed her hard in the stomach and she finally released my hair, doubling over. She was quick to recover and before I could run to the front door, which wasn’t far at all, she had me turned around by my arm and next thing I knew a punch was landed on my jaw. It threw me off balance and I fell against the wall, groaning loudly as an excruciating pain traveled all over my jaw. I’ve never felt anything like it before, I could’ve cried right there and then. I haven’t recovered from the blow yet when Sana had my hair in her fist again, keeping me standing upright. She was so much shorter, but her power was immense. She punched me in the stomach and it knocked all the air out of my lungs, pain traveling all over my torso. I looked at her through teary eyes and mustered up all the power I had in me and pushed her back by the shoulders, her fist yanked on my hair but it let go as she was taken by surprise. She stumbled back and I finally turned and started running, when the click of a gun made me freeze. My body ran cold, it felt like my heart stopped beating and my blood froze over. My lower lips trembled as I raised my arms to let her know that I wouldn’t do anything. I slowly turned around, my jaw and stomach throbbing in pain, as I came face to face with a smirking Sana.

“You know how to fight,” She said with a chuckle, holding the gun tightly, “And you’re pretty good too.”

I just gulped, unable to take my eyes off the gun. So, after all, I wouldn’t die at the hands of Kim Mingyu. An obsessed woman was the one to end my life. I wondered what his reaction would’ve been after the night we shared. After I told him I loved him. Would he avenge my death? Would he destroy everything and everyone who came onto his path? Would Seungcheol miss me very much? Would he be able to recover? Find a true friend in someone else? What about Vernon? He’d lose someone once again he cared about; he’d be destroyed. My parents…my poor parents who didn’t deserve to bury their only daughter. They’d be forever tainted; I know they would never recover from losing me.

“Look at you…” Sana scoffed and I looked at her, biting my lower lip, “You’re seriously crying.”

I didn’t realize I started crying. She pushed the safety off her gun and a voice, so loud I jumped, shouted at me to just “MOVE”. I didn’t think twice, I ducked and ran towards Sana like you see the rugby players do, and I heard the gun going off, but I didn’t care. I didn’t know if it hit me or not, my body, which felt sore a second ago, felt like it just got a refreshing massage. I wasn’t in pain anymore; all I could hear was my loud heart going crazy. There were two screams and my arms latched onto Sana’s torso tightly as I ran into her body, knocking us down onto the floor. She was breathing hard and her eyes rolled to the back of her head for a second from the impact her body went through, and I looked at her with so much anger that her body started trembling.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have touched me.” I mocked, using her own words against her, as I raised my fist and crashed into the side of her face, her resisting body going limp under me. I was breathing hard as I shook her body, seeing if she was still conscious. When I was sure she wasn’t, I scrambled away from her and gripped onto my hair, realizing I was shaking very hard. I covered my ears when I heard a door being kicked open and curled up into a ball, trying to hide from whoever came to get me. Sana almost killed me. I screamed when someone touched me and before I could fight the person, my cheeks were gripped tightly and moved away from my knees. The touch was warm and the hand was big against my cheeks, and I wouldn’t stop trembling.

“Please,” The panicked whisper hit me like bricks and my eyes flew open, “Y/N, oh my God.”

My arms flew around Seungcheol as I clung onto him like a koala, clutching his shirt into my hands so tightly I almost ripped the fabric. His arms were tight around me and he rocked us back and forth, caressing the back of my head as he shooshed me like I was a baby. It was strangely calming, but I couldn’t get myself to let go of him. Something wet dropped onto my cheek and I thought I was crying again, but it was Seungcheol’s wet hair. I realized his shirt was a little wet too, he must have ran here straight when the gun went off.

“Y/N,” He whispered into my ear and I nodded, unable to speak, “You have to call Mingyu.”

I nodded again and let Seungcheol helped me off the ground, I still didn’t pull out of his embrace, “I need to bring over something, you have to let me go—”

“Don’t leave me alone with her!” I said panicking and Seungcheol patted my head again.

“It’ll take five second, I promise.” Seungcheol’s tone was reassuring but I was reluctant still, “When did I not keep my promise?”

I sucked in a shaky breath and finally detached myself from my best friend, hands shaking once again. His expression was the exact opposite of his tone, when I looked at him, my throat closed in on me. His expression was so dark it almost made me cry again, but before we could say anything else, he was out of the door. I glanced at Sana and ran to my jacket, keeping my eyes on her as I fumbled around for my phone. When I finally had it in my hands, I unlocked it and dialed Mingyu’s number. I pressed myself against the wall and scooted to the front door, ready to flee if Sana happened to wake up. I didn’t know how strong my punch was.

“Sugar—”

“Sana tried to kill me.” It came out as a whimper and there was dead silence on the other line, “She just—she was in my apartment—Seungcheol told me to call you.”

My heart was beating fast and the front door knocked into my shoulder as Seungcheol came rushing in, I moved away to let him in. There was still silence on the other end and suddenly the call ended. I looked at my phone confused and remained where I was, watching Seungcheol press duct tape onto Sana’s lips and then he hauled her up and dragged a chair into the middle of my living room before sitting her on it. He took the ropes he brought and tied her tightly against the chair, pulling on it to make sure she wouldn’t be able to undo it. He looked around and when his eyes fell on the gun he went and took it, taking the ammunition out before smashing it against the floor angrily.

“Seungcheol,” I whispered, lips trembling.

“I can’t believe this bitch tried to—to kill you.” A vein was popping in his neck and I gazed at him sadly, “I should’ve killed her the second I found her swooping around our things years ago. I just—did she hurt you?”

I shook my head and took two steps towards him, still keeping my distance from Sana, “No, the bullet didn’t hit me—I think. I’d feel that—right?”

“You would,” Seungcheol sighed, running his hands through his wet black hair, “What did Mingyu say?”

“Nothing.” I whispered, biting my lower lip anxiously.

“Oh, fuck.” Seungcheol muttered to himself and before I could ask what that meant, Mingyu and Vernon came storming inside my apartment. I jumped and pressed myself up against the wall, my heart thumping from the sudden actions of the two new comers. Vernon’s eyes were fixed on Sana and he started looking around my apartment, Mingyu, however was only looking at me. We looked at each other and in a split second I was in his arms, breathing in his honey and smoke like scent, telling myself that I was safe now. He was here, Sana wouldn’t hurt me anymore. Mingyu didn’t react to my touch, he pushed me back a little, looking down at my face.

“What did she do to you?” The Mingyu from yesterday was gone; the man in front of me, was the man who held a gun to my head. His voice ice and expression cold as he waited patiently for my answer.

“Punched me twice and—tried to shoot me.” I shuddered at the words and Mingyu looked at Vernon, giving him a nod. I looked at Vernon alarmed when he went inside my kitchen and returned with a glass of water, apparently Sana didn’t break everything.

“What are you going to do?” I whispered to Mingyu as Vernon walked to Sana. Mingyu looked down at me and carefully pushed me away.

“Don’t move from here.” Is all he said and I heard water splashing, so I turned and saw Sana’s eyes wide open. She looked around franticly and panicked, but when her eyes fell on Mingyu she seemed to relax a little bit. I glared at her as I remained as far away as I could from her, Vernon abandoning the glass on the coffee table as he came to stand next to me. Seungcheol was leaning against the entrance of the living room as he watched Sana with a glare. Mingyu walked slowly, looking around my apartment, taking everything in. His eyes fell on Sana and he nodded at Seungcheol, who ripped the duct tape from her mouth. Vernon placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side, offering me a little comfort. I sighed and I thanked him quietly, needing the little support he could offer me. He looked just as emotionless as Mingyu and Seungcheol, but his eyes were full of worry as we shared a glance, and his thumb kept rubbing my shoulder in a calming motion, we both needed it.

“Mingyu.” Sana’s voice was whiney and tears gathered in her eyes. Mingyu interlaced his fingers in front of himself and sighed loudly, pursing his lips.

“Explain yourself.” His voice was emotionless as he looked everywhere but at Sana.

“I—I—I—” Sana seemed to be at a loss of words as she looked panicked around, her eyes falling on me and she frowned. Her body was slightly trembling and I couldn’t help but scowl at her.

“Relax, my dear,” My body tensed upon hearing Mingyu’s words and the warmness in his tone, and I twitched when he rubbed Sana’s cheek, “I asked you something simple. All you have to do is be honest with me.”

Vernon was aware of my reaction and he squeezed me, looking at me, “He knows what he’s doing, don’t get mad.”

“Touching her and being nice to her when she tried to kill me?” I snapped at Vernon quietly, but Seungcheol glanced at us, and I realized I wasn’t very quiet. Sana’s lips pulled into a smirk for a split second before she nodded at Mingyu.

“Okay, I—I will, but…will you hurt me?” She asked, faking the fear in her voice.

“Depends on if you tell me the truth or not.” Mingyu said casually as he shrugged and then took a seat on my sofa. Vernon continued rubbing my shoulder with his thumb and I decided to remain calm and silent, if whatever Mingyu was doing will make Sana talk, I won’t fuck it up.

“Well, I just—couldn’t stand seeing you with Y/N, Mingyu. Not when I worked so hard to be with you and well—you did so much for Momo, I wanted to show you my gratitude, I really did! And things were going amazing between us but—that bitch showed up and she came between us. I didn’t want to do this, Mingyu, I swear. I just wanted to scare her a bit, make her run away on her own, but then I just—I found your clothes in her wardrobe and her bathroom smelled like your cologne, I just—I lost control! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do what I did, I just wanted to scare her—”

“Did you scare her?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows nonchalantly and my pulse was raising by every minute.

“I did!” Sana chuckled like a mad woman and looked me in the eyes, “She even cried!”

My jaw clenched and if it wasn’t for Vernon, I would’ve lunged at her and choked her.

“How did you make her cry?” Mingyu pressed on and I tried to steady my breathing.

“I pointed my gun at her. I pulled the trigger but the bitch dodged it last minute. What a pity, I would’ve hit her straight in her heart—” Mingyu’s sudden movement made Sana flinch and I looked at him as he placed his left hand in the pocket of his coat, coming to stand next to Seungcheol.

“And this is the truth, yes?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows at Sana and she nodded at him proudly. Mingyu sighed deeply and looked at Seungcheol, shaking his head at him. Seungcheol didn’t react, he just reached for his phone and started typing on it. Sana looked between the two with a smile and Vernon sighed beside me, I looked at him confused.

“What’s happening—”

“You see, my dear,” Mingyu interrupted Sana’s frantic question, “thing is…you touched something that’s mine. You hurt her, Sana, you hurt Y/N. And I appreciate your honesty, but your actions can’t be forgiven. No one touches Y/N, not even me, do you hear me?”

“I—I’m so sorry—”

“Shut up!” Mingyu snapped, his expression falling as his anger came ripping through him, “You tried to kill Y/N, Sana, are you out of your fucking mind?! I guess you are, Seungcheol was right…Momo was right. You know little Kim Doyoung?”

“He’s my subordinate—”

“Exactly!” Mingyu laughed, leaning down to be eye level with Sana, “And if you’re gone…he takes your place. Sana, I’m sorry to tell you, but you failed to be of our help…unlike little Doyoung, he’s been a very important asset to your investigation but also an amazing help for me.”

“What—I don’t understand—” But I did, everything Mingyu was saying made sense. I tensed up and looked at both Vernon and Seungcheol, but they looked unphased, they knew what was coming.

“Mingyu, please, you don’t have to—” I tried to reason with him.

“She almost killed you.” He snapped, drawing his gun out of his pocket. My heart was thumping quickly in my chest and Vernon’s hold tightened on me as Seungcheol turned to look our way.

“Look away, Y/N.” My eyes widened and as a scream left Sana’s mouth, the gun went off. I couldn’t see it because Mingyu’s body blocked the view and Seungcheol walked up in front of me, holding my head to be only able to look at him. A shaky breath left my lips as Vernon’s warm embrace left me and I found myself shaking again. Seungcheol kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the shuffling coming from my living room. There was a hard thud and I flinched, holding onto Seungcheol’s wrist.

“It’s over.” Mingyu’s sudden voice in my ear made me tense up and Seungcheol’s hands went away as Mingyu pulled me into him this time, burying my head in his chest. I heard the two men pass by us and then it was suddenly silent in my apartment. My arms went around Mingyu’s torso as I held onto him tightly, feeling tears in my eyes once again. He held me tightly and kissed my head, making me sigh.

“You’re moving in with me.” He muttered and I pulled back to look at him, “Something like this will never happen again.”

I nodded wordlessly and Mingyu looked behind him, “My neighbors…”

“Will be taken care of—”

“Don’t kill them!” I quickly exclaimed and Mingyu chuckled, cupping my cheek.

“Of course not, sugar, I don’t kill innocent people.” I gulped and looked him in the eyes, still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he killed Sana just a few minutes ago.

“I’ll move in with you.” I whispered and leaned up to press a kiss against his lips, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. The man I was in love with was a criminal, he just killed a woman before my eyes…a woman that tried to kill me first. Was this the life I’d live if I remained by his side? As I looked up at Mingyu, I felt all emotions mix together. Love, happiness, anxiety, fear. Yet, I felt safe in his arms, I knew he’d do anything for me. He might not be the best person, but I couldn’t help love him more. The other half of me I always craved and wanted was finally in front of me. A smile pulled onto Mingyu’s lips and he pressed a kiss against my forehead, and I knew.

I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with him.

I was in love with Kim Mingyu, and nothing could scare me away anymore.

        A/N: Thank you so much everyone who’s shown support for this mini series! It’s probably the first time I’ve been shown this much love every time I posted a new part, and you made it so enjoyable for me to write. I was legit every single time excited to post it, because I wanted to see your reactions. Thank you very much again for being interested in this mini series and sending me your thoughts, I appreciate them all! I’m a little sad that this is over, but I’m so excited about Streets, that I can’t be very sad haha. Besides, that Wonwoo oneshot in this universe is still happening, give me two weeks! :) I wish you all a pleasant evening/day and I hope I’ll see you showing up for my other stories as well <3

[regrettablewritings]

Cobb Vanth x Reader Ship Meme

Select prompts taken from this ship meme

Who is a morning person?: Cobb is, though it’s questionable if that’s by nature or a lack of nurture. As much as he’d prefer to not dwell on it, his past as a slave has left its marks in many more ways than what he can think of -- and it’s always popping up in the most surprising (and annoying) fashions. By the time he’d reached adulthood, waking up at the crack of dawn had been grilled into his circadian rhythm much the same way data is processed into a droid. And even long after his peoples’ liberation, the charge of waking up before either of Tatooine’s suns could breach the horizon compelled him. And for years, it plagued him. It wasn’t that he was necessarily incapable of sleeping in, either -- he could do it if the previous day’s events tuckered him out enough. But sometimes, even just the seconds of consciousness, greeted by a dawn sky, would be enough to make him sigh morosely. He was blessed to have even woken up this many days, he knew. But some part of him couldn’t help but wonder in just how many ways his past could still reach him. It took some time, but eventually there was a change in that thought process. Not necessarily because Cobb began to wake up early less and less but because even when he did, the thoughts often didn’t get a chance to wander as far. After all, now he had you. You, of course, would still be asleep (as anyone at this time ought to have been) and therefore couldn’t offer him so much as a delirious conversation or two. But you did offer him a distraction. And a reminder: Even as you lay there, gently breathing, chasing whatever dreams you’d wound up in, you were reminding Cobb that even though his past still had him in some ways, his present and hopefully his far future had you. And so long as he had those to think about, he could bare to cherish waking up just a little bit more. After all, it gave him time to think about you, and that was some mighty fine fuel for some sweet dreams . . .

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon?: Being the protective sort he is, Cobb tends to veer more towards being the big spoon himself. He’s not against being the little spoon -- lord knows he enjoys that sort of comfort whenever he’s had a particularly rough day -- but it’s because he’s aware of the sort of power being a big spoon can hold that he more often than not takes it upon himself to be one. He’s witnessed so much loss and danger in his lifetime and even though things have surely changed for the better in more recent times, he still can’t help but be a little on edge. He doesn’t want you to get hurt or be lost; as the marshal of Mos Pelgo, it’s his job to keep you safe. And as your significant other, its his honor to be able to do so even in the form of simply hugging you from behind as the two of you drift off to sleep.

What is their favorite sleeping position?: As a whole, Cobb is content with just about any position he can get into where at least some part of him is in contact with you. But if he needs to narrow it down to a favorite, it would have to be one where he both asserts his dominance as a protective figure while also making you feel comfortable. The most recurring one, however, is when he gets to lay on his back while draping an arm about your waist, your head laying against his bare chest as you listen to his heart beating. It makes Cobb feel big and strong, and even though it also may leave him with a case of dead arm, he also knows that it helps you feel safe and warm.

Who steals all the blankets?: Being located on a desert planet, the nights on Mos Pelgo can get mighty chilly. Having grown up there all his life (and just naturally running hot), Cobb is quite used to it. You, on the other hand, never quite got accustomed to the occasional soft breeze that might whisper into your little abode. As a result, it’s not uncommon for Cobb to wake up in the middle of the night to find only small corners of the blanket covering himself with the rest of it cocooning around your unconscious form. He’s more than happy to remedy that with some good old-fashioned body heat, however, once he gingerly unravels you.

What they wear to bed: You thought he might’ve been trying to tease you when the first night you shared a bed had you seeing him stroll into the bedroom, donning only sleeping pants. While you certainly didn’t mind the view of his chest, you thought he was being a bit too cocky: Surely he already knew you adored him, there was just no need for him to try and further seal the deal by using his good looks. The fact of the matter was actually no, he really did naturally sleep without a shirt. The heat of the hut was more than enough to keep him warm in his humble opinion, and frankly he’d survived on less. Though, he’s certainly not above using his looks to sway you when it comes to the bedroom . . .

Who likes seeing the other in their shirt?: While he wouldn’t mind it if you joined him in being shirtless, it also drives Cobb insane in the best way when you enter the bedroom sporting one of his shirts. It's strange how something so simple could instill feelings so intense in a man, but he just can’t help it. It’s almost primal in a way, seeing you quietly marked as his and his alone, the way your body is essentially wrapped up in him without him even touching you. At the end of the night, you’ll smell like him, and his shirt will smell like you . . . (The shirt might also be off of you at the end of the night depending on how good he is at controlling himself but that’s a matter for another discussion.)

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares?: Over the years, Cobb has experienced fewer and fewer nightmares. But that doesn’t mean they don’t lurk in his psyche, rearing their ugly heads from time to time. Malformed versions of memories of his past, of traumas he thought he’d forgotten, of fears that thankfully didn’t get a chance to manifest but now lay in eternal incubation inside of his own mind . . . Of course he hates when these things happen -- nobody would like it, after all. Nightmares weren’t meant to be liked. But pouring more salt into the wound whenever he gasped himself awake, his body flinging itself upright into the night air before fully gaining consciousness, would be the impact it left you with. Of course, it was silly of him to be concerned with that (he was the one suffering after all), but he hated the look on your face whenever those moments occurred: You’d be so scared, of course. But then the fear would turn into worry. And sadness. You never had to ask him what was wrong, you already knew. You always knew. And he was thankful that you never pressed it, and that you also knew that the best way to console him was to coax him back into bed (and never let him argue otherwise; threaten to knock his block off if you have to) and to lie there in the quiet, the only sounds being your gentle humming of some distant tune and the sound of your fingers carding through his silvering hair. There was no shame in having fear; Cobb knew that. But that still didn’t change the fact that he felt some shame in still feeling it. He wanted to be the man the town could count on, the man you could count on. Logically there was nothing that said he couldn’t still be even with the occasional nightmare, but that didn’t stop the thoughts and worries from invading his already fragile mind -- “G’night, m’marshal...” you’d slur, your movements becoming sluggish as sleep began to take a hold of you once more. It’s quiet, groggy, and yet strong enough to break both the silence and your partner’s spiraling. It almost makes him want to laugh: That you’re so tired that you’re oblivious to just how much power you have when it comes to bringing him peace. Just one of the many ways you make falling asleep so much easier for him than it ever has been . . .

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep?: Oddly enough, in spite of everything, Cobb isn’t particularly active in his sleep. Mos Pelgo isn’t necessarily what one may call a hub of activity -- so he honestly has no idea where you’re getting all these punches and kicks from. At first, he thought it was cute to wake up to you wriggling around in your sleep. You always insisted after the fact that you weren’t having a nightmare, you’d just always been an active sleeper. But he just isn’t sure what kind of dreams you must be having where the situation isn’t terrible enough to frighten you, but enough to cause you to make a mean left hook where his kidney should be. On the one hand, he’s rather proud that you have that kind of strength going for you. But on the other, some days he heads to the tavern, hissing when whatever part you hit aches, and he has to lie to his buddies and play along like you both had a particularly kinky night together. That, and some part of him is convinced that eventually you’ll work your way up into snapping his neck in your sleep.

Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?: Neither of you can, but Cobb is especially guilty of it. While he’s not exactly touch-starved, he simply can’t help but have some part of himself touching you when the both of you go to sleep. It reminds him that you’re there, that he’s not alone, and it reminds you that he’s there and that you are therefore protected. So even if you two don’t wind up in your favorite position or spooning or what have you, one thing is for certain: There’s a good chance that when you wake up, you’ll at least be doing so to find his hand entwined with your own, or his leg between yours. Or his hand resting on your chest (which he will insist happened in his sleep but you dunno, his hand palm seemed to rest a little too cup-like on the swell of your breast).

[booksimp]

Flame of Autumn - Part Two

A/N: Part two of Midnight at Rita’s is finally here, everyone! Sorry it took so long, I started a new job and I’ve been a bit overwhelmed. As you can tell, I’ve named this series something different. That’s because Midnight at Rita’s was supposed to be a smut one off, but it has a mind of it’s own and has become an actual fic. This will be part two of a series called “Flame of Autumn”. This fic is going to be quite long, and more elaborate than anything I’ve written here so far. I hope you enjoy!

“Oh, fucking hell.” I curse, clapping a hand over my mouth in shock.

Azriel chuckles sardonically, running a hand through his already sex mussed curls, puffing out a shocked breath. His cheeks are an adorable shade of pink, eyes wide.  

“Well said.”

For a few moments, we just sit and feel the bond thrum between us, like the plucked string of a cello. We’re still flushed and dazed, our panting breaths the only sound in the room as we stare at each other. 

A strange intermingling of emotion overwhelms me. Elation, joy, desire. A desire to take hold of Azriel and never, ever be parted from him. But all of it is entirely eclipsed by a sense of dread. It wraps itself around my throat, my heart, like a noose of ice. 

A mate is just another person to lose, to endanger with my own existence. 

The faces of all those that have suffered to protect me, that I ultimately lost, flash across my vision. A macabre version of a scrapbook. Just as easily as he perceived my earlier insecurities, Azriel notices the rising emotions in me. With the mate bond newly revealed, I wonder if the connection we’d felt all night had been the first clue. That, and his uncanny ability to read me like an open book. 

“Sabine, I don’t expect anything from you. But I- I’d like to explore this. We can go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.” 

His face shines with hope as he takes my hand in his, squeezing gently. A hesitant reach down the bond caresses against me. His eyes are open and earnest, a shy smile on his face. The epitome of honest and trustworthy. 

I wonder what he would think if he knew Sabine isn’t my real name. 

A pang of guilt shoots through me, at the dishonesty of it, and it's suddenly hard to breathe. Lying to others has become disturbingly easy over the years I’ve been in hiding. I’m skilled at it now, diversion and distraction like second nature. But the thought of keeping up the ruse with my mate is unbearable. Having to lie every day, and to the person who should know the absolute truth of myself? I can’t do it. I won’t do it. 

I’m opening my mouth to admit things I haven’t in years, when my mothers face flashes through my mind. She was the first to implore me to hide my abilities, and the first to die because of them. 

“You threaten his crown. He will destroy everything you love to keep you quiet, my girl. You cannot give him more ammunition. You get close to no one. You keep moving. Don’t ever come back here.” 

Her words ring in my ears like I’m hearing them for the first time. I shut my mouth with a snap. I can’t tell Azriel anything, for fear of bringing the wrath of my father down on him. Can I even stay in Velaris? 

When I first heard of the hidden city of the Night Court, heavily guarded by the most powerful High Lord, I rejoiced. Isolated and with a varied population, it made the perfect hiding place. Not to mention that Velaris is far outside the reach of my fathers court. I’ve felt almost safe here, and the thought of leaving this city, of leaving Azriel, has my heart sinking into my stomach. Azriel slowly places a hand on my cheek, breaking me free of my internal struggle. Concern shapes his features, hazel eyes heartbreakingly gentle. He is too perceptive to not see the indecision and fear in me, bond or not. Without meaning to, I speak. 

“Okay.” 

A relieved grin graces his lips. I feel the apprehension fading from him, being replaced with soft joy. It makes my decision for me. Azriel is an Illyrian, not exactly an easy target. We’re in the safest place there is for me. If I guard my secret well enough, I can stay. Stay, and see where this newfound bond leads us. I pray to the Cauldron that I’m not making a stupid, selfish mistake. 

“Are you sure?” His brow furrows, intent on my response.

In that moment, I know that no matter how strongly he feels, Azriel will let me walk away. If I decide he’s not what I want, he would honor my choice no questions asked. It only makes me more certain of my decision. I’ve never been one to tolerate a controlling male.

“Absolutely. Are you?” I ask, inching closer to him, still clutching the sheets against myself.

His eyes flicker down to my chest, and back to my eyes. When a faint blush paints his cheeks, I nearly drop the bedding in shock. So the confident male can get flustered. I file the information away for later, barely containing a smirk. 

“Of course I am, I’ve waited almost six hundred years for you.” His voice is low, each syllable more sure than the last. 

My heart soars inside my chest at his words. Depthless hazel eyes bore into mine, and his shadows brush against my bare skin. They send shivers all along my body, and I edge even closer to him. He meets me in the middle of the bed, his forehead touching mine as his gaze roves over me like I’m a precious, once lost jewel. I do the same, drinking in the sight of the magnificent shadowsinger before me. My mate. 

Long ago, some inexplicable force decided that he belonged to me, and I him. I wonder what makes us so compatible, and I find I’m excited to discover every reason for myself. I want to know all the simple, small details of him like the back of my hand. I want to memorize the planes of his face, every color in his eyes.

If my mother could meet him, I imagine she’d remark on the beautiful grandchildren we’d make her. It's that thought, and the sudden realization that we are both very naked, that has a fierce blush coloring my face. 

“Maybe we should get dressed.” I whisper, only slightly breathless. 

Azriel’s eyes run along my sheet-clad form once more, before he pins me with  that now familiar alluring smile. 

“As you wish.” 

He says again, only making me more flushed at the memory. Without an ounce of shame, the Illyrian rises to his feet and walks to the dresser at the other end of the room. He begins digging through the drawers, before selecting some grey sweatpants and a long sleeve black shirt for himself. I’m still wrapped in his sheets, attempting to not gawk at the unobstructed view of his ass, when Azriel looks over his shoulder at me. He smirks at my obvious observation of his body.

“Do you want something other than your dress? Something more comfortable?”

I look down at the rumpled silk garment on the floor and grimace. He’s right, the thought of shimmying myself into it right now is about as appealing as a cold bath in the middle of winter.

“Yes please. Preferably something a bit warmer.” 

He nods, and picks a few items from his dresser. He places them on the bed before me and fixes me with a sweet, slightly shy grin. 

“Are you hungry? I have pastries from the bakery down the street. I could make coffee?” 

My ears perk at the mention of food, and my stomach grumbles in agreement. I like that instead of pushing me to continue our conversation about our future, he’s making sure I’m fed and comfortable. That warm, light sensation flutters in my belly again.  

“I never turn down coffee or carbs.” I manage to get out, smiling coyly. 

“Noted.” Azriel smiles again, a quiet amusement in his eyes. 

He leaves me to change, heading towards the kitchen to start the coffee. I put on the sweatshirt and black briefs left for me. Both are too big, but they’re warm and soft against my skin. Worlds better than the dress. I pull the collar of the sweatshirt up to my nose and inhale his scent of cedar and moonlight and rain. Gods, what does he bathe in that makes him smell so good?

For the first time all night, I’m able to observe Azriel’s bedroom. My eyes widen as I take in the beautiful A frame ceiling with exposed wooden beams. The soft patter of rain on glass draws my eyes to the east wall, which is made entirely of paneled windows. Silver rivulets of water run down their surface, reflecting flickering beams of moonlight into the room. The floors are a dark oak, the walls a calming sage.

Candles burn on Azriel’s overflowing bookcase, and the fireplace crackles merrily on the opposite wall. I reach out hesitantly with my ability, and feel the heat of each flame flicker inside my awareness. For a moment, I watch the candle flames dance and twist under my will. It's rare that I ever have the chance to explore my gift, the small flames too often exploding into an uncontrolled inferno that attracts attention. But I can’t help playing just a little.   

The sound of a kettle whistling startles me from my reverie, and a few tea lights extinguish entirely. I wince, and quickly light them again before following Azriel into the kitchen. 

He’s at the counter, adding hot water to a french press. The earthy scent of coffee tickles my nose as he presses the grounds down, the muscles of his arm flexing deliciously.

“How do you take your coffee?” He asks, gesturing towards a pale box of pastries for me to choose from. 

“Cream and sugar. Lots of cream.” 

“You like your coffee sweet.” He smiles to himself as he pours extra cream and sugar into my cup, as if adding the observance to a mental list.

 I pad closer and peer at the box of pastries over his broad shoulder. On the front it reads ‘Diana’s Bakery and Coffeehouse’ in elegant script. I bite my lip to keep from laughing as I open the familiar box, and take a bagel from inside. 

He notices me smiling at the pastries and raises a thick eyebrow at me, the corner of his lip quirking up.

“What is it?”

“Nothing it's just - well I work at Diana’s.” I laugh, taking a bite of the magically warmed bagel after liberally smearing it with cream cheese. 

“You do? But I’ve been in there everyday this week, I haven’t seen you.” 

He passes my mug to me, filled to the brim with creamy coffee, and I take a careful sip. He leans against the marble counter, hazel eyes looking me up and down, that small smirk making an appearance once again. What is it about males liking us in their clothes? Not that I’m complaining. 

“Well, you wouldn’t. I work in the back with Diana as her baking apprentice. I even baked those cinnamon rolls.”

 I know they’re mine by the slightly imperfect glazing. Diana is meticulous and every single treat she bakes is always flawless.

He points to the icing covered cinnamon rolls inside the box, mouth gaping in shock. 

“These cinnamon rolls? They’re the best I’ve ever had. I’ve been buying you guys out everyday.” Azriel exclaims, eyes wide and alight with surprise. 

“Oh, so you’re the reason I’ve had to make twice as many recently?” I chuckle, pink staining my cheeks. The fact that Azriel loves my baking brings me way too much delight to be proper. 

“I’m sorry, but Cassian and I can’t get enough of them. What do you do to them? They’re like biting into a cloud!”

“I can’t tell you that! It's a secret recipe!” I wink, a goofy grin on my face.

Azriel rolls his eyes and smiles, grumbling about how secretive bakers are as he deposits a large mound of cinnamon rolls onto a plate. A truly genuine smile breaks across my face at the sight. He collects his own mug and leads me to a comfy couch, where we both plop down and tuck into our midnight snacks. 

I can’t help but watch him, completely mystified. This sexy, adorable male is my mate? I’ve never felt lucky a day in my life, but as Azriel finishes his third cinnamon roll, I can’t help but feel like the fates smiled on this one aspect of my life. Having finished my bagel, I sip on my coffee and relax into the couch. I’ve been running for a long time, keeping everyone at arm's length, never staying in one place for more than a few years. But maybe I can stay hidden in Velaris and keep Azriel a lot closer. Maybe I don’t have to be alone. I want that future so badly it becomes hard to breath.

“So you bake. You dance at Rita’s. What else?” 

Azriel’s voice brings me back to the present, and I glance up from my coffee cup. Silent laughter dances in the hazel depths of his eyes, his plate of pastries discarded on the coffee table. Suddenly self conscious under his intent gaze,  I reach a hand up to feel the tangled masses of my dark hair. I grimace when I realize what a mess it’s become. It will probably need to be dyed again as well.

“I play music. Mostly the piano. I write sometimes. And you?”

The admissions, however small, make my throat tight with anxiety. I haven’t told anyone anything true about myself in years, and I haven’t touched a piano in just as long. The feeling is nerve wracking, and I can’t help but feel exposed. My eyes follow the upward curve of his lips as he smiles at me, one arm draped over the back of the couch. 

 “I can see you playing piano. You have the hands for it.”

I blush at his statement, my gaze falling to my entirely ordinary hands. What does that even mean?

“I’m something of a homebody. If I’m not with my brothers, I’m probably here with a book. I train, I work, I come home."

That explains the mountains of novels all over his room. And the incredible body. He reaches over and runs a hand through my slightly curling hair, the hours I’d spent straightening it made useless. He curls one of the ringlets around his finger, giving it a slight tug, before he tucks it behind my ear. Every single nervous thought evaporates at his touch.

“I like your hair like this, especially since I’m the one who made it this messy.” 

He murmurs, a sudden heat in his eyes. I feel my body warm in response to that look, and I have to divert my gaze down at my lap to keep from jumping him right there. Again.

“You’re a shameless flirt, shadowsinger.” I mutter, playing with the silver ring of leaves on my finger, noticing that his thigh is now pressed against mine. When had he moved so close?

“Not usually, trust me. My brothers would be astonished.” He laughs, running a hand through his own messy hair. 

“Not usually?” I trace a finger along the back of his hand, fascinated by the combination of scarring and complex veins. 

He shivers slightly, and I smile in satisfaction. He’s not the only one who can play that game. 

“I make exceptions for my mate.” He whispers, taking my hand from his and pressing a kiss to my palm, lips soft and warm. 

“I was supposed to have drinks with my brothers. They must think I decided to stay in.”  He laughs against my skin, kissing his way to the pulse point of my wrist.

“Little do they know, huh?” I gasp, made breathless by his ministrations and the thought of exactly why he’d ditched his brothers tonight.

“Little do they know. When you’re ready, I - uh. I know they’d love to meet you.” He looks up at me, cheeks filling with color as he straightens. 

My stomach drops, and a bit of reality comes crashing down. A mate is one thing, but letting his family into my life? They’d be two more people to lie to, two more people in danger because of me. I avoid any straight answers, and decide to divert his attention elsewhere.

“Tell me about them?” I drink from my mug, using it as an excuse to break eye contact. I can’t shake the feeling that he can see down to the very truth of me when our gazes meet. 

“Their names are Cassian and Rhys. Complete idiots. But those two have saved my life in so many ways.” His eyes glow with a warm, far away look, a goofy smile on his face. 

“It sounds like you love them very much.” I speak softly, not wanting that radiant look to ever leave his face.

“I do. Do you have any siblings?” His eyes flicker back to me, the distance clearing from them. 

“An older brother. Micah.” I try not to let my voice break on his name, the longing slamming into my chest like a horse at a full sprint. 

I curse myself for using my brother's real name, a slip up I wouldn’t have made with anyone else. Azriel’s mere presence is enough to disarm me, and it's a struggle to focus with him this close. I haven’t seen Micah since the day our mother was murdered by my fathers sentries, and we both fled for our lives. In opposite directions. The day that started my life on the run. 

“Are you two close?” Azriel’s shadows curl around me as he squeezes my hand in silent support, like he already knows the answer. 

“We used to be, when we were young. Not so much anymore.” 

I tense, hoping that he doesn’t push the subject. I can’t exactly tell him the truth of our forced estrangement. At least not yet.

“Where are you from?” 

 His tone is light, and I am endlessly grateful for the change in conversation. He doesn’t seem to miss a thing when it comes to me. The thought is a constant inkling of worry in the back of my head. 

“Not Velaris.” I reply quickly.

It technically isn’t a lie, but the evasion feels even worse.

“I could’ve guessed that, love. I’ve lived here for hundreds of years, if you lived in Velaris I would’ve found you sooner. Are you from the Night Court?” 

He chuckles, taking up another strand of my hair to play with. For a moment, I forget that he’s waiting on a response. 

“No, Summer Court. Adriata. Did you grow up in Illyria?” 

 I attempt to change the subject, the subterfuge like spoiled milk in my stomach. I wish I could tell him all about my little cottage on the outskirts of the Autumn Court, about my mothers smile, and Micah’s penchant for getting me into trouble. Instead, I have to wriggle my way out of letting him get to know me. This is going to be harder than I thought. 

“Unfortunately, I did.” Shadows rise from deep within his eyes, blotting out almost all the light in them. 

I’ve heard many stories about the brutality of Illyria. Their perilous winters and sprawling mountains, the discipline that they ingrain into their children, how they throw themselves into the path of war. I wonder who put the scars on his hands, his wings, and I feel sick for an entirely different reason.

I search his eyes for answers, glimpsing an age old sadness there. I feel him trying to shove it down deep, but he can’t hide from me anymore than I can from him. A burning rage seethes in my chest at that sadness. It makes me want to grow claws and rip and tear, scorch those responsible with my flames.

He closes his eyes and rests his head where my shoulder and collarbone meet, a deep sigh leaving him. From the tension in his body, I know he wants me to let the topic drop. So instead of asking the questions on the tip of my tongue, I kiss the top of his head and stroke his back softly. He practically purrs, pressing closer, telling me to continue. I smile softly, trailing my fingers down his spine in slow circles. His back is deliciously firm, and rippling with muscles from his often used wings. Heat scorches across my face as I remember how I brought him over the edge just by kissing them, the absolute unleashing of it. 

“I- I didn’t realize. That, well um- your wings. That they were so-“ I stutter pitifully, the blush spreading down my neck. 

Azriel leans back to meet my eyes, a slight smile beginning on his face, previous troubles forgotten. 

“You didn’t know?” He asks, disbelief in his tone and a glint of amusement in his eye. 

“No, they just looked very kissable.”

He throws his head back and gives a loud, full belly laugh. I beam at the musical sound, satisfaction flowing through me. I want to make him laugh like that again and again.

“An Illyrian males wings are the most sensitive part of their body. If touched in the perfect spot, we can finish from that alone. As you saw. But they are also our greatest weapon, and we protect them accordingly. For that reason, I usually keep them far away from any - partners.” He explains after sobering from his laughter, voice soft and a slight blush painting his elegant cheekbones.

“But you make exceptions for your mate?” I ask, eyes downcast as I play with the cuff of his long sleeve shirt.

“I do. Only for you.” He takes my hands from his sleeve, and presses them to his lips once again.

I glance up at him, to find his eyes already on me. The warmth and tenderness I find there has my heart flying in my chest, and tears pricking my eyes. I blink them away hurriedly, looking to his wings instead of the intense emotion he’s showing me. For some reason, the adoration I see there has a small burst of fear running through me. 

“I’m glad you let me touch them. They’re beautiful.” I whisper reverently as l behold the incredible expanse of his wings. 

Vibrant plum and lavender, veined with maroon and the silver of scar tissue. I can’t even think of these beautiful, majestic wings being mutilated like that. My hands ache to touch them again, feel their silky warmth. 

“You definitely showed your appreciation for them.” He leans closer, his breath fanning across my cheek as he whispers in my ear. 

It sends shivers deep into my core, and I have to squeeze my thighs together and hope he doesn’t catch my scent. The confident, seductive Azriel of earlier tonight is back. 

“Not yet I haven’t.” I murmur, emboldened by my renewed need for him. 

The need comes quickly, overwhelmingly. Especially now that I know what being with him is like. Entirely world shattering. He may have ruined every other male for me. Again, not that I’m complaining. A low rumble comes from deep in his chest, and he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me onto his lap with ease. 

“Is that so?” There’s a sultry promise in his voice, and I feel him stir against my thigh. 

The room is filled with our mingled arousal as he inhales against my neck. 

“I still can’t believe I found you.” He groans, pressing kisses against my throat. 

I let my eyes fall closed, shocked anew at how easily he reduces me to a gasping mess. His hands begin to roam over my hips and waist, his touch worshipping and disbelieving. When I begin to slowly move myself over his growing arousal, I feel a shift in him. His hands halt their exploration, and he tenses beneath me. I open my eyes to find his face veiled with worry, his brow creasing. 

“You don’t have to, Sabine.” He cups my face in his hands, dark eyes gleaming with concern. 

I try not to flinch at the false name, and I wonder what his voice would sound like saying the name my mother gave me.  

Shoving those thoughts away, I shake my head, a small grin forming on my lips. Does he not see how infatuated I am already? Of course I don’t have to, but I want to. 

“Az, you idiot.”

And with that, I plant my lips on his. He doesn’t need further convincing. His body responds to mine eagerly, a low growl building in his chest. My back meets the leather couch as Azriel maneuvers himself above me, his hands sliding under the hem of my sweatshirt. He is somehow gentle and commanding all at once, his skin burning hot against mine. I sigh into the kiss as I give myself to him, entirely content to do so this time. 

“You are the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” 

He whispers against my lips, that reverent tone back in full force. My eyes prick as my chest fills with equal parts warmth and fear. I can see how easy it would be to love my mate. To fall fast and completely. And the part of me that’s been running scared from those I once loved is terrified.  

“I’m scared.” I murmur back, surprised at my own honesty.

I feel his frown against my lips, and he only holds me tighter. 

“I’m scared too, love. But I won’t ever hurt you. You’re - You are everything.” His eyes, soft and dark and endlessly kind, convince me. 

I smile sheepishly at him, holding out my left pinky. 

“Promise?”

Without hesitation, he wraps his finger around mine. 

“I promise.” 

The next morning, sunlight streaming in through the expansive windows wakes me. A sleepy contentment keeps me drowsy and warm, and I stretch like a cat after a particularly restful nap. 

“Good morning.” 

Cauldron, his morning voice is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.

I blink my eyes open, the blurry image of a very amused Azriel coming into focus. His black hair is tousled and falling onto his forehead, and pillow marks color his cheeks. 

Delicious.

I cuddle closer to him instead of replying, not ready to start the day yet. He wraps both arms around me as I bury my head in his very bare chest. Memories of last night rise to the surface, and I feel my cheeks warm. After his pinky promise, Azriel made love to me. That's the only way to describe the beautiful, tender way he touched me. He made sure every ounce of doubt was replaced with complete trust. It was the most intimate I had ever been with anyone in my entire life. 

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?” He asks, a teasing grin curling his full lips.

I can’t help but remember those lips on my body in the living room. And the bedroom. And the bathtub. Needless to say, we didn’t sleep until dawn.

“W-What did I say?” I can only imagine the mortifying things my sleep self has to say to this male.

“Just my name. Over and over again.” His voice deepens, eyes darkening.

“Shut up! I did not!” I hiss, giving his shoulder a shove. 

He only chuckles and waggles a brow at me, before placing a kiss to my forehead. He smells even better in the morning, his cedar scent more potent. How is that even possible?

“How did you sleep?” 

He brushes my hair over my shoulder, peppering even more kisses across my collarbone. I shiver under his attention, my eyes falling closed again.

“Better than I have in a long time.” I admit, my voice still raspy with sleep. 

“So did I.” 

He runs gentle hands through my hair, our legs still entwined intimately. I haven’t felt this safe and content in someone’s arms since I was a girl, when my mom would hold me after I woke from nightmares about monsters under my bed. Azriel already feels like home, and the thought doesn’t scare me as badly as it did last night. Thoughts of my father seem distant and insignificant now, chased away by the bright morning light and warmth of my mate’s presence. 

“I wish I could stay here with you all day, baby.” He groans, a deep sigh leaving him. I can feel his reluctance in how firmly he presses me to him, strong arms locking me against his chest. 

“Then stay.” I grumble moodily, a frown curling my lips downwards. I know we can’t stay sequestered in his apartment forever, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. 

“I have to do some work for my brother today, but you’re more than welcome to stay in my bed. In fact, I hope you do.” Azriel chuckles, untangling his limbs from mine and kneeling before me. He drops a tender, lingering kiss on my lips  before standing.

My cheeks warm as my blood sings in my veins, and my breath catches in my chest. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way his touch affects me. I hope I never do. 

“Oh? What kind of work do you do for him? Does he have his own shop or something?” I yawn my way through the question, cuddling myself into his vacated warm spot. 

Azriel smiles over his shoulder at me, while sliding into Illyrian fighting leathers. My mouth goes dry at how the skin tight garment outlines his muscular thighs and powerful chest, accentuating the golden tones of his skin. Hubba Hubba.

“Actually, Rhysand is High Lord of the Night Court. I’m his Spymaster. I have spying to do.” His lips twitch as if he’s trying to not let the easy smile fall from his face as he continues dressing. He watches for my reaction intently.

The blood in my veins turns to ice, freezing my heart in place as my eyes shoot open in shock. 

Azriel’s brother Rhys is... Rhysand. High Lord of the Night Court. All sleep leaves my body, and I have to fight to stay still. Every instinct is screaming at me to run, run far and fast. 

Because Rhysand knows my father, seeing as he’s High Lord of the Autumn Court.

In fact, I know Beron has met Rhysand many times. He often spoke about the half breed bastard who challenged his authority at meetings.

I met Rhysand at Beron’s court once, when I was barely fifteen. It's been decades, but he could easily recognize me as Beron’s bastard daughter. And he could tell my father where I am, maybe even deliver me to him. 

Even if he doesn’t recognize me, grown and changed as I am, Rhysand is a Daemati. He could rip the truth from my own mind with hardly a thought. And the High Lord of the Night Court has a reputation for finding pleasure in that sort of thing. The thought has me shivering despite the warm blankets tucked around me. 

“Oh. You didn’t mention that last night.” I rasp, trying not to look like I’m about to throw up. My stomach roils, and my palms dampen with cold sweat. 

“I forget that he's High Lord sometimes. He’s just Rhys to me.” Azriel shrugs, with his back now turned to me as he readies himself for the day. I thank the Cauldron for it. 

I can only imagine the stark horror in my expression, and I take a few extra moments to reign my emotions in. Gods, no wonder Azriel can read me so effortlessly. It's not only because of the bond, he’s a spymaster. Reading people is his job. A job he performs for a mind stealing, murdering monster of a High Lord. Bile rises in my throat, and I feel my heart crack in my chest. 

Azriel is not who I thought he was. The trustworthy, gentle male I spent the night with could just be another mask he wears. A tremble begins deep within me.

“When will you be back?” I try to sound eager, like I can’t wait for his return. 

In reality, I’m trying to find out how far away I can get before he even realizes I’m gone. 

“Tonight. I just need to visit some - colleagues in another court.” He says, while lacing his sturdy looking boots into place. 

What court is he ‘visiting’? Will he be spying on other High Lords for Rhysand? Despite the new revelations about his dangerous brother, I feel a stab of fear for my mate. Any High Lord would slaughter him in a moment if they caught him spying on the Daemati’s behalf. 

“Will you be safe?” I hear the worry in my own voice, and Azriel either hears it as well or can feel it from me. Damn mate bond. 

The male perches on the bed next to me, a reassuring smile on his striking face. The two versions of him that exist in my head clash terribly; the vulnerable, kind Azriel of last night and the formidable Spymaster I’ve heard grave stories about. My gaze falls to the dark dagger strapped to his leg. Truth Teller. I try not to shiver as the light glints lethally off its razored edge. I wonder how many truths he’s tortured out of his enemies using it. 

“Of course. Always, but especially now.” Azriel strokes stray curls out of my face, his eyes brimming with unabashed tenderness. He kisses me soundly, a promise to return. 

My stomach flips and suddenly my heart is no longer racing out of fear. For a moment, I almost forget the hidden lethalness and only see Az. But that’s foolish. I can’t shiver at the sight of his famed blade and crave his touch at the same time. 

“I’ll see you tonight?” I ask, mentally calculating how long I have to leave Velaris. I go through the well rehearsed steps of my escape plan, focusing on mundane details to keep the fear and longing from rendering me completely useless.

“Of course.” Shadows of worry cloud his eyes, and I can almost see the sharp, spy's mind calculating behind them.

Azriel kisses me once more, his lips hesitant for the very first time.

His mouth tastes like sorrow, and I feel a flicker of something down the bond. It's gone too quickly for me to decipher it. I curse internally, hoping he only thinks I’m intimidated by his brother’s position. Between the bond and his spymaster abilities, who knows what he can decipher from my reaction alone.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?” He stands, tucking his wings in close and letting his shoulders droop slightly. 

He searches my face, lips slightly turned down at the corners, brow furrowed. 

“I’ll be here.” The lie burns my throat like acid, and I can’t bring myself to meet his eyes.

Instead, I pretend to settle deeper into the bed, closing my eyes as I bring the blankets up to my chin. I don’t want to see the confusion and worry in his gaze. And I can’t watch him leave, knowing that I may never see him again. Azriel squeezes my thigh softly, whispering another farewell as he leaves the room with a sigh. 

I wait until I no longer feel the thrumming current that is Azriel’s presence,  when I know he’s well and truly gone. Then I spring into action. I burst from the bed, and head straight for Azriel’s dresser. I yank a pair of sweats from the drawer and pull them on hurriedly, shaking so hard it takes me three tries to get my legs through the correct hole.  I practically run through the living room, propelled forwards by thoughts of obliterated minds and the dank cells beneath the Autumn Court. 

I glimpse the forgotten mugs and pastry box from last night on the coffee table. Tears prick my eyes at the memory of the hope I felt during that meal. I told Azriel, my mate, more than I’ve shared with anyone in years. He let me see some of the anguish he carries with him, buried so deep it's become a part of him. I gave my body to him. And he felt like home. Can I really run from that?

Yes, I can. I have to. I was a fool to think that I could ever be outside my father’s reach.

On impulse, I hunt down a pen from the kitchen cabinets and scrawl a quick, cowardly note on a scrap of paper. Shame coats my tongue so thoroughly I think I may choke on it.

I’m sorry. - S 

  With the note finished, I raise the hood to conceal my face and tear down the stairs, avoiding the elevator Azriel first kissed me in. Soon enough, my bare feet are slapping against the rain slick pavement, my heart cracking with every step. I don’t stop to notice the people that watch me fly by, or the sun shining over the Sidra. I let the fear cloud every guilty thought, until all I know is adrenaline. 

Once I reach my apartment, I change into clothes more appropriate for an escape attempt, and collect my emergency bag from beneath some loose floorboards. Not the most creative hiding spot, but it’s better than my underwear drawer. 

Less than an hour later, I’m standing on the rickety, wooden deck of a foreign boat, sailing away from Velaris. Tradesmen man their vessel, hardly paying attention to me as I stare out over the water from their starboard side. I can imagine the mystery I pose. A lone, cloaked female, begging to stow away on their watercraft.

The money I slipped to their captain keeps the curious glances to a minimum, and I hope it keeps their mouths shut in the future. Either way, I won’t be settling where I first disembark. I’m not entirely sure where I’ll go yet, but maybe that’s for the best. If I’m entirely impulsive, my actions will be harder to predict.

I’ve run scared so many times over the years that I’ve lost count, but I’ve never been so conflicted. Every mile I put between me and the shore of the Sidra is another knife shoved up under my ribs, and it becomes harder and harder to breath. Eventually, the vibrant colors of the Rainbow fade from view and the citrus scent of the river becomes the salty brine of the ocean. Hot tears sting my eyes, and I let them fall. The hood of my cloak covers my face anyway. 

“Goodbye, Az.” 

[marvelousmaize]

Autistic!Geralt is my current fav headcanon. There's a lot to be said for communication styles, and sensory issues, and all that. Also, i am here for any version, ASD or not, where Jaskier just works out that Geralt is different, that the "normal" social paradigm just isn't in place for Geralt, whether because of neurodivergence from birth, or a long life of trauma and social isolation, Jask learning how he thinks, how he communicates, what makes him genuinely comfortable, And meeting him there

Omg anon i love, love, love your/this headcanon! Because yes, the witcher trials and mutagens had made Geralt more sensitive, more aware of external stimuli, but even as a child, Geralt remembers -

He remembers the input always being on this side of too much. Colors being too bright and sounds being too loud and a perpetual feeling that his skin has been scrubbed raw. And he’s always been a person of few words - can recall not really speaking, at all, until he was five years old. Becoming a Witcher and thrust onto a Continent inherently hostile and distrusting of his kind has only made him more withdrawn; less inclined to speak the words that feel like glass in his throat, that are so difficult for him to muster.

Which is why when Jaskier waltzes into his life - with his turquoise doublet, and doe eyes, and ridiculous “bread in his pants” comment - Geralt doesn’t think the bard will stick around. Jaskier is so loud, so bright, so well-liked - eloquent and well-spoken where Geralt is curt and monosyllabic - that their base differences would eventually put them back on separate paths.

But the bard is full of surprises - continues to subvert and preconceived expecations Geralt has. Expectations that he gained from the sneering and jeering humans who are too stingy with their coin and too liberal with their insults.

Jaskier is unlike any human Geralt’s ever known.

He never pushes the Witcher to talk, content to fill the silence with his own idle chatter. But it’s more than that. He learns to speak Geralt’s language. Learns to decipher Geralt’s looks and Geralt’s touches and Geralt’s taps and Geralt’s entire mannerisms.

Like when Jaskier asks -

“How about we stay in this tavern for the night?”

Geralt will give the slightest of head tilts, which means yes this one is fine.

And Jaskier says, “Great. I dare say I’d fancy myself a pint.”

Geralt will tap on his chin, which means get me one too, please.

And when Jaskier will move towards one of the tables in tavern, and Geralt presses his hand into the crook of the bard’s elbow, Jaskier will incline his head and glance back at the Witcher, nodding and saying, “alright.”

Because he understands that a press to the elbow means, no let’s not sit there, it’s not safe.

And Jaskier - Jaskier, who switched out his preferred fragrance for something less oppressive of Geralt’s delicate sense of smell; Jaskier, who writes songs about Geralt and reforms the undeserved, sullied reputation of Witchers - lets himself be steered because he is unfailingly trusting in Geralt and Geralt’s instincts, and Geralt’s desire to keep him safe.

Geralt doesn’t have the words - will likely never have the words - to express how much Jaskier’s trust, and Jaskier’s willingness to meet him halfway, and Jaskier mean to him. But it’s okay. Because his actions speak louder than any word he could muster, which is just fine with him, because Jaskier understands him perfectly.

[hes-writer]

Exclusive Content

this is a master list of all one shots, blurbs, series parts, and unfinished content that i have posted on patreon (so far)! click the title to read the sneak peek (if i’ve posted one)

———

*+VALENTINE’S DAY

the one where harry has an eventful day

“Shit! Are you crazy?” Y/N gasped in surprise when the passengers seat was occupied, the door opening and slamming shut all while the car moved at a speed of 15 km/h —cursing her forgetfulness for not clicking the locks shut.

“Keep driving!” The passenger shouted, looking back through the windshield.

* ACHY BACK

the one where y/n’s back hurts and harry draws a bath

“Took too long,” Y/N mumbled as they met in the middle, knuckling tiredly at her eyes. A pout sat on her face as Harry stopped himself from ducking his head and catching her plush lips with his, craving the sweet taste of her and her strawberry lip balm. Her arms wrapped around his snatched waist, halting his breath at the tightness of her embrace and settling for a kiss on her forehead, the scent of her shampoo wafting in his nostrils, knowing that she had taken a shower hours prior. Her back had been aching since then, the pain barely bearable for her stature, causing a crease in between his brows.

+ A LETTER TO THE MAN I’VE LOVED

the one where harry receives a letter from y/n

Is it really worth it to look back in retrospect about ‘what had been’ when she can think about ‘what could have been’ if both of them realized their faults? Granted, he was more resilient in that sense than her, but he was no better at the time. She made mistakes and it had haunted her to this day, practically killing her with each moment she spent without him by her side.

+ UNWAVERING (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

the one where harry cheats (another version of ‘a cheat’)

"I-I'm in a bit of a rush, baby.” He took a step back, increasing the distance between them. "I have a meeting today. Lots of work to be done," Harry responded his tone suggesting that he didn’t want to talk anymore. Y/N nodded to please him.

"Right. Maybe we can go out tonight to grab some dinner," She suggested, a hopeful glint in her eyes and he almost felt guilty for putting her at the back burner of his mind.  

"I really have to go, baby," Peeking his head around her frame, he spotted the untouched toast and apple juice resting on where he should be. "I'm sorry."

+ ALL I ASK

the one where feelings aren’t mutual and hearts are broken

“I don’t want to be scared of what will happen tomorrow or if all we have is right now because we’ll have nothing left but I am,” A sob ripped through his throat, emotions were heightened tenfold because she was so close yet so far and they were still Harry and Y/N but at the same time they weren't. They’ve changed over the span of one night. “All we have is tonight,”

* LITTLE PRINCE

the one where harry and y/n are 7-year olds

Harry gasped in horror, crouching to his knees and getting his knee dirty beside the girl.

"Y/N? Y/N! Are you okay? I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen. I swear I wasn't mad at you, I was just jok- Why are you smiling?" Harry yelped, panic evident in his shrill voice. His hands wandered towards her face, tilting it left to right, up and down, searching for any visible and invisible injuries besides the bump on her forehead.

RENEGADE

the one where y/n teaches harry the ‘renegade’ dance

“What are y’doing?” Harry asked, his eyes wide as his large palms ruffled the fluffy towel on his damp curls. The steam from the bathroom escaped to your bedroom where you were panting with effort, your chest heaving so hard that the peaks of your breasts rose with each breath. 

“Uh, what are you doing?” You retorted slowly, hiding your hands behind your back were your fingers gripped your phone. Your thumb dug hard on the volume bottom, frantically trying to decrease the music from the phone speaker. 

DROP THE TOWEL (m)

the one where harry does the ‘drop the towel’ challenge

���Hey, babe,” He greeted, walking closer to you in a towel that made him feel liberated. You hummed in a silent greeting, giving him a smile before doing a double-take at his appearance. He dropped the towel on the floor, his length hanging proudly between his legs. 

You gasped at the sight, the knife clanging on the marble counter, “Ooh, hi there,”

He smirked cockily, watching your eyes observe his body, tongue subconsciously peeking out between your lips until you snapped your head to the window, “Oh my god! There are people out there, Harry,” You wailed in alarm, bending over to hand him his towel.

DREAM WITH ME (exclusive content as of right now) - this fic will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus

the one where y/n has trouble falling asleep

Harry’s admiration gets interrupted when a sudden jolt took over Y/N’s body. He dropped his mouth open a little in shock, rubbing her back soothingly when she whimpered quietly, “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe with me,” She must have had experienced one of those moments when she was falling until her vision drooped to a shaded black. 

DIGRESS (1) PROGRESS (2) REGRESS (3) 

the one where love fails

What happens when love fades away? How do you cope with the feelings disappearing slowly like a blot of dark blue paint diluting with every stroke of a ruffled paintbrush? Y/N wondered if there was a chance to fixing what has been lost--what has disappeared as the canvas soaked through in a permeated osmosis. Coating the brush of blue with white paint took several layers to completely cover the mistakes. There had to be an effort in wanting to make the faults and errors completely opaque from the eye; the bleary, watery irises soaked with tears, dampening her lashes in a thick haze as she cried.

ROUTINE (1) (the first part will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus. following parts will be patron-exclusive content)

the one where harry is a camboy

In a blink of an eye, Harry’s toned body was showcased on the screen, allowing him to view what his viewers had the pleasure of seeing. The ‘LIVE’ sign blinked repeatedly.

“Hello,” Harry drawled out purposefully using a deeper tone to set the mood. “How are you today?” His fingers stayed hung over the armchair, griping it slightly when comments started rolling in.

NOTES ON CAMP (1) (2) (3) (exclusive content as of right now) - this fic will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus

Y/N plastered a smile on her face as she shook Belle’s hand. “Sorry but I need to steal Harry away,” Belle tugged on his tattooed arm, fingers clasping around his wrists as he started walking along with her. “See you, Y/N!” Harry greeted, turning around with his arm draped over Belle’s shoulder.

“See you,” She whispered under her breath, looking at his retreating figure towards the cafeteria. Y/N couldn’t help the disappointment she felt, her shoulders slouching at the realization that it was too good to be true. Of course, he had a girlfriend.  A gentleman with chiselled features and a caring personality complimenting her? No way. Still, she wasn’t too sad about it. It wasn’t like they’ve known each other for long. Plus, they were co-workers! It would feel wrong to start a relationship anyway.

STRESSED OUT

the one where y/n is stressed and harry wants her to take a break

“What d’ya mean I don’t get it?” He closed the paperback, making sure to clip in his bookmark to save his spot.

A pregnant pause slithered the room. Her fingers typing against the keys of her laptop ceased as she shot him a glare, “You’re not studying, are you? All you do is write songs, fiddle with a few instruments and sing it in front of people who adore you,”

Harry physically pulled his chest back. He felt like he had been shot. He knew she didn’t mean it though, but it still hurt to hear, “O-oh. I didn't know y-you felt that way,”

She continued, “You don’t know what it’s like having to spend hours researching so you don’t get anything wrong. Sleepless nights to perfect one paragraph that my professor nitpicks to the bone,” Y/N penned a few words on her notebook, not noticing the pout plastered on Harry’s face.

DESSERT

the one where harry wants something else

She pulled away, shaking her head adamantly, “No way! I spent all day cooking and you’re not gonna skip it just to eat my pussy,”

He the corners of his eyes squinted in offence at her description, “Your pussy’s top tier, baby.” Harry ‘tsked’ his tongue, “If yeh didn’t know that already, then I’m doing a horrid job,”

PET NAME

the one bff!harry just wants y/n to call him by his pet name

“Am I, Harry? Seems like you’re putting me at the back burner nowadays,”

He was speechless; had he? Harry didn’t mean to make her feel this way but he wasn’t aware that he was actively blowing her off for Ruby. And why won’t she call him ‘honey’? That was his nickname, wasn’t it? H stood for Harry but it was also the pet name Y/N had given him.

His voice emulated a soft, syrupy tone that lingered in the air whenever he spoke. He was the colour honey itself--golden and yellow like the colour of the sun. Harry was bright in its sense of intelligence and the way he illuminated the whichever room he entered. His kindness catered to everyone’s needs and left pieces of his heart wherever he went.

Harry was honey.

ROOMMATES SERIES (3) (4) (5) (6)

the one where harry and y/n are roommates

updates every 2 weeks!

will not be posted on Tumblr until the series is finished

Y/N gasped at Harry’s proximity, lids snapping open with her hand reaching over to pat along until she found her phone which was blaring with an alarm that she had set. Harry gulped, eyes wide as his mind ran through what the hell just happened.

“What are you doing here? Get out!” She yelled, tugging the sheets higher on her body. 

“I-I was just waking you up so you can make us dinner,” Harry stuttered out, his excuse sounding lame but he patted himself on the shoulder for making it up on the spot. Well, that was his intention in the first place until he got distracted.

FRIENDS DON’T MINI-SERIES (1) (2) (3)

“Is this okay?” Her doe irises searched his. Harry raised his head lazily to make eye contact, nodding his head with a bit lip. Y/N clenched her inner thighs together at his already blissed-out state, his pupils slowly becoming larger with arousal. “Friends don’t touch each other this way,” She purposefully drew out her statement, giving Harry an out of the situation if he needed to.

“More than okay,”

FIC EXTRAS #1 - TEASE

the one before ‘under the table’

“Fuckin’ dirty,” He spat, the pads of his thumb tracing circles on her hipbones, not feeling a trace of clothing resting on her hips. “Wearin’ a short dress with no panties,”

Y/N hummed, arms slanting behind her to support her upper body so that she could spread her legs further, making room for Harry’s hand. “Didn’t feel like it,”

“Y’just waiting for me to find out, hmm? You knew I couldn’t resist myself when you look so goddamn pretty,”

UNFINISHED DRABBLE #1

the one with fratboy!harry

“Y’alright?” Harry’s husky breath barely made its way to her ears, only then did Y/N feel the hand palming her lower back, another one gripped around her shoulders. Her front flushed against his own, feeling his hard chest on her heaving ones. She peeked one eye open, looking around at her angled stance, then to Harry who wore a concerned look scanning her face. Y/N nodded in response, blinking rapidly, her nipples hardening at a sudden cold breeze beneath the thin fabric of her dress, surely poking him through his shirt. She blushed at the thought and his brief glance over her where they touched, his eyes dilating the tiniest amount.

UNFINISHED DRABBLE #2

the one where harry’s a cheating asshole

Harry wormed his way through his delectable voice and his ever-present words that somehow scorched your shield to the ground. Again. He promised never to do it again and your love-sick heart trusted him. Again. 

But your trust wasn’t something that was particularly valuable to him. To Harry, it would always be there, lingering like the stars in the night sky; always present, always gleaming. Harry was very sorry for what he was doing to you. It was ironic, really; he hoped and prayed every day that you wouldn’t find out but his carelessness left everything out in the open.  

TEXT MESSAGES #1

the one where y/n has silly thoughts

TEXT MESSAGES #2

the one where harry and y/n share the same class 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #413

“i figured it out: the bigger the river, the bigger the drought”

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? Years ago. What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? I don't enjoy energy drinks. Would you have kids with the last person you kissed? Neither of us want kids, so obviously no. Do you know someone who threatens to kill themselves? No. Would you ever completely dye your hair the color green? Noooo, that would look so awful on me. Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship before? Yep. What is your favorite food to eat around Christmas? Chocolate-covered peanuts. I have warm memories tied to snacking on those at a lights show one year. Do the people in your town speak like rednecks? Oh yeah. When was the last time you cried happy tears? I couldn't possibly tell you. How liberal are you? Considerably, but I'm not incredibly far into the spectrum, but I become more liberal as time goes on, I've found. Would you mind living near large predatory animals? Not really. So long as they're not coming into my house or anything. Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Just ears popping. What’s your biggest priority right now? Reach a mental state where I can handle a job. If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? A loooot of reading... Are your hands unsteady? Very. I have bad tremors in my hands. Do you listen to a lot of mainstream music? Not at all. Do you think you’re pretty? No. Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook? It's funny, the one instance where that's happened was with Jason, because I mistook him for a Jason I actually knew of and wanted to be friends with. I have friends on there I haven't met in person, I say I "know" them. Do you have dirty pictures in your phone? No. Have you ever looked up porn on the internet? No; I just don't get the appeal. Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? In a case of self-defense where I was clearly trying to be killed, that's right where I would aim. But otherwise, of course I wouldn't. Have you ever sold drugs? No. I'd prefer to stay outta jail. Did you ever try cutting yourself? Yes, and it does nothing but make the situation worse. Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad. Who do you know that wears the most make up? Probably my friend Summer, but I mean, she is a cosmetologist. Do any of your friends have kids? Lots do. Have you ever been tied up? No. How many times have you been cussed out? One. Are you anyone’s first love? I think. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Do you have more than one personality? No. Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? Psychological. Do you have a favorite YouTuber or do you not watch much YouTube? I survive off of YouTube, and Markiplier is *obviously* my favorite. Are you a good dancer? Even when I WAS a dancer, I don't think I was great, except in clogging. If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan. Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? I had multiple instructors for different subjects. Have you ever had any teeth pulled? No. Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair. Have you ever been to a nursing home? Yes. Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into? No, but the Bloods gang tried to while my sister and her best friend were home alone in my childhood home. Thank the fucking Lord they couldn't manage. They just left a flag at our doorstep. If I remember the timeline correctly, that was the final straw for us moving. Is there someone in your life you don’t want in it? No. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? Just one, in the romantic sense. I've cried over my dad when he left us too, though. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? Yes. Pretending to “never get the text” from someone who annoys you. Is that you? I've done it before, but I really don't get texts from anyone who annoys me. If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say? I know I say I shouldn't be in a relationship right now, but I know I still would with one, and if it was Jason, he'd have a LOT of proving himself to do before I take him back. Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer men to do whatever the hell they want with their own bodies to feel comfortable and at home in it. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Not a lot, because I find the subject extremely uncomfortable to talk about. She knows my "idk if I'm *actually* a virgin" crisis I had, because I was so upset with not knowing and wanted her opinion, but that's just about it. Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? I mean I don't hate them, but I don't really watch TV. Do you worry about gaining weight? I'm terrified of the idea I might keep gaining weight. Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching? Yes, and I think it's a wonderful movie. The book was excellent, too. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don't participate in any event my town has organized. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses' names? There's Josh, Franky, and Nick. Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? I like it for a while. I eventually get lonely, though. Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? No. Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little? Yeah. To who did you last give the finger to? Some driver being fucking stupid. Do you talk in your sleep? A lot. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, a SH fansite. Do you feel that your previous relationships were a waste of time? Only one was. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. Which do you like better: Regular cakes or cookie cakes? Regular, for sure. I mean I like cookie cakes, they're just... kinda boring as "cakes." Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex? No. If your significant other cheated on you, would you take them back? Nnnnnope. What was the last song you listened to? A slowed version of "Daddy" by PSY. Shut up. What do you look for most in a friendship? I guess the #1 trait would be... uhhh... supportive, maybe. There's obviously much more to a good friendship than just that, though. If the Internet never existed, what do you think you'd be doing now? Reading. I think I'd be a much more avid reader without the Internet. Have you tried something new at a restaurant lately? No. If your skin could be any color of your choice, which would it be? Ugh, I'd love to have like, porcelain skin that has like no flaws to it. Do you know any German words? A decent amount, seeing as I took four semesters of the language. Vegetables: Better raw or cooked? Uhhh idk. I don't like enough vegetables. What is the cutest animal? Maybe I'm biased, but meerkats. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? No, and the idea that some people have actual cut-offs for how short their partner can be disgusts me. Who the fuck cares how tall someone is. It's not like they have any say WHATSOEVER in it. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? Yes. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? I know I haven't held a live one. Have you ever been ghosted before? No. Did you ever play Imvu? No. Did you ever get caught watching porn? No, considering I've never watched it. What's the worst feeling in the world? Heartbreak. Not being good enough to someone whose opinion you deeply cherish. What's the BEST feeling? Love bringing people together, hence why I love things like Pride parades and such. As well as when you accomplish something you've really worked hard for. Do you think weed culture is annoying? Some people can definitely take it too far to where it's like the only thing that matters to them. People who say weed isn't addicting have NOT met the people I know. I'm not against use of marijuana, but goddamn, a drug should not be your entire world. Have you ever stayed in a relationship even though you didn't love that person? No. If I'm not into you, I'm out. Do you ever listen to "lo-fi hip hop" on YouTube? No. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I've never had a real prank pulled on me. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Nice sneakers. I really only wear flip flops, though. Do you know a lot of people who have the same middle name as you? Yes, considering it's ridiculously common. Do you like your middle name? I mean it's pretty, but waaaaay too unoriginal. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Nope. Have you ever visited your state's capitol building? No. Have you ever visited your nation's capitol building? No. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Have you made any huge mistakes? Yeah. Do you believe anyone is asexual? Um, yes???? Do you do all the chores yourself? No.

[hopscotchandlemon]

Little Boy Eyes - Part Seven

The practicality of trying to control the 200lb toddler that was his senior field agent hit Gibbs square in the face as he tried to stop him wrecking his house. While the décor of his house could be described as minimalist by some, it was about to resemble a detonation site very soon unless he could establish some rules with the errant Tony. With his broken foot not slowing him down at all. Gibbs was tempted to copy Ziva’s technique and use his NCIS issued handcuffs to at least keep him in one place.

Gibbs sat at the table with a cup of coffee, watching Tony jump around the lounge. Suddenly DiNozzo stopped and became quiet. While his boss felt he should be relieved, he knew a quiet toddler meant trouble.

‘Uh-oh,’ DiNozzo uttered.

‘Uh-Oh?’ Gibbs countered.

Before Gibbs had chance to stand up, Tony rushed past him and locked himself in the downstairs bathroom. All of a sudden, Gibbs realised the one thing he hadn’t even considered until now. Toileting. Dealing with actual toddler accidents wasn’t a problem, but Gibbs wasn’t sure how he felt about dealing with an adult. The nurses and aides at the hospital had obviously dealing with this side of things for Tony, and discreetly enough that Gibbs hadn’t even registered. Suddnely, he’d rather be dumpster diving but it was too late; he’d said he would look after Tony so he would have to deal with it.

Walking up to the bathroom door, he could faintly hear some sobbing and sniffling coming from the other side.

‘Tony, do you need some help?’

There was no answer and the sobbing noises continued from the bathroom.

You know, it’s ok if you’ve had an accident. You didn’t mean to. I can help you clean up?’

‘No!’ came the defiant reply.

He exhaled loudly. Tony had sounded more like a teenager than a toddler there and Gibbs wasn’t sure which version of Tony he’s rather look after. Teenage DiNozzo sounded like he was quite a handful.

Gibbs went to the bag of Tony’s clothes that McGee had bought from his apartment. He found some spare pants and underwear and left it outside the bathroom door.

‘If you need it, there are some spare clothes outside the door. I’m going to go make some dinner in the kitchen.’

He went to the kitchen and started to put some pans on to make dinner.  After ten minutes a red faced Tony appeared at the door. Jethro had to stifle a laugh at his back-to-front pants. Once he had dinner cooking and Tony was happy playing with the toy cars Ziva had bought him, he went to inspect the bathroom. What he found was carnage. As well as the discarded wet clothes, the formerly clean pair of underwear were in the toilet and there seemed to be, what Gibbs could only assume was pee, liberally splashed everywhere. He rolled up his sleeves and cleaned it up, pushing the door to he got his phone out. He needed help so he called Abby.

‘Hey Gibbs, how’s Tony?’

He’s fine. I need a favour Abs?’

‘What can I do?’

‘Do they, um. Do they do adult pull up pants?’

‘Ohhhhhhhh. I’m pretty sure they do. I’ll find some and bring them round.’

He thanked her and closed his phone. Heading to the utility room with the wet clothes, he spied Tony still playing in the lounge. He went back to the kitchen to finish dinner and serve up. He encouraged Tony to wash his hands and sit at the table.

‘Do you want help?’ Gibbs asked as Tony inspected the food in front of him.

‘No,’ Tony shook his head a grabbed his knife and fork, holding them awkwardly in his large hands. Gibbs watched with a mixture of horror and amazement as the usually suave Tony managed to get more food on his face, hands and clothes than he did in his mouth. However, the plate was clean so he didn’t feel he could complain too much. Gibbs was just clearing up when Abby arrived.

‘Aww Tony, I see you have had your dinner!’ she beamed at her messy faced friend.

DiNozzo grinned back at her while Gibbs attempted to clean him up.

‘Do you want to go play with your toys?’ Gibbs suggested.

Tony nodded and leapt of the chair back to the lounge where his toys were.

‘So how’s it going, Poppa Gibbs?’

‘He set the Forensic Scientist with a look before she held up a pack of Tony-sized pull up pants.

‘You found them.’ He never thought he would get excited by such a thing, but it had been a bizarre week.

‘Yep. You should have enough for a week there. If you run out let me know, Dave and the Kink Store has a pretty good supply.

For a moment, Gibbs wondered if he had heard her right.

‘The Kink Store?’ he questioned.

‘Oh yeah, there’s quite a bit community of adults that like to pretend to be babies and toddlers,’

Whiles Gibbs knew age regression could be a therapeutic tool, he hadn’t realised that it could be a sexual thing too. He didn’t want to know any more.

‘Thanks Abby,’

‘You know he has his pants on the wrong way, don’t you?’

‘Yeah I know. Bit of an accident but he didn’t want any help.’

‘Oh well. Guess it will be bath time soon huh? I’ll leave you to it. See ya Gibbs. See ya Tony,’

Bath time. Oh, had he not considered that. Given the scene of destruction in the bathroom earlier, Tony would definitely need a bath. Problem was, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be washing Tony’s more intimate areas. After a long sigh, Gibbs got up and went to run a bath.

‘Time to get a wash Tony.’

@gibbsandpridegirl

[purplesurveys]

1230

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”?  Way back last year.

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all?  I find energy drinks nasty.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed?  That wouldn’t be possible even in the literal sense.

Do you know someone who threatens to kill themselves?  Before.

Would you ever completely dye your hair the color green?  Yes, but I would opt for a darker shade rather than a bright or neon one.

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship before?  I have not. Thinking about it, I’m pretty low-maintenance so I could probably handle it if I ever find myself in that situation, as long as I’m invested enough in the relationship and my partner.

What is your favorite food to eat around Christmas?  I like anything my family prepares really, but I definitely go for lumpia first if I see a whole container of it.

Do the people in your town speak like rednecks?  No and I’m not sure if we have an equivalent for that here.

When was the last time you cried happy tears?  Like a week ago when the Permission to Dance video came out. The ending when everyone was taking off their masks and smiling was really heartwarming.

How liberal are you?  Enough to make most of my relatives uncomfortable.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals?  Yes. I’ve lived in gated villages all my life so it will take a lot of getting used to.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?  I don’t think so. The ‘worst’ I’ve experienced is just feeling pressure in my ears and having weakened hearing whenever we drive up mountains; it takes a while before mine do the popping thing and I get my normal hearing back.

What’s your biggest priority right now?  To be consistent at improving at my job and making fewer mistakes as I go. I shared this with my boss recently and she told me not to worry too much as I’m doing better than I think I am and that the mistakes I beat myself about have actually been small and fixable ones, but the perfectionist/workaholic in me just refuses to be reassured lol.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself?  The last time this happened, public wi-fi was still mostly a myth so I had to contend with A LOT of forced napping just to make the time pass by. I didn’t have a phone either, so my experience was extremely dull and boring.

Are your hands unsteady?  They’re not surgeon-level stable but I think they’re fine for the most part.

Do you listen to a lot of mainstream music?  I used to until I got into BTS. I haven’t really listened to any other artist since getting into them back in April lol.

Do you think you’re pretty?  Some days.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook?  Yeah, a few work contacts like bloggers whose names I recognized but have never talked to/engaged with.

Do you have dirty pictures in your phone?  Nope.

Have you ever looked up porn on the internet?  Yes. I have my on-and-off phases when it comes to porn though and these days I don’t watch a lot of it.

Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? In a case of self-defense where I was clearly trying to be killed, that's right where I would aim. But otherwise, of course I wouldn't. < Sounds about right. But holy shit that sounds like it would look so gross.

Have you ever sold drugs?  I’ve never been around drugs ever.

Did you ever try cutting yourself?  It was a coping mechanism many, many moons ago.

Who’s the last guy you texted?  It was a - surprise surprise - delivery guy who needed directions again to my house.

Who do you know that wears the most make up?  I’m not sure, but then again most people I know don’t really put on makeup these days because lol Covid and stay-at-home orders??

Do any of your friends have kids?  None of my friends do but I know several acquaintances and people from high school who’ve already given birth.

Have you ever been tied up?  Yeah.

How many times have you been cussed out?  Nearly everyday as a teenager.

Are you anyone’s first love?  I think?

Have you ever had an out-of-body experience?  Nope.

Do you have more than one personality?  Nope.

Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? Psychological ones for sure, but I don’t mind gore as well as long as it’s fun to watch and that it’s not too corny.

Do you have a favorite YouTuber or do you not watch much YouTube?  I haven’t watched a lot of YouTubers these days, but very recently I’ve been gravitating towards soothing vloggers like Anna Park and Mejiwoo. Their vlogs are greeeeaaaaat and I’m excited to discover similar creators so I can watch more videos that carry the same vibe.

Are you a good dancer?  I dance only when alone or when drunk. That said, I’m no good at all.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be?  Continued from yesterday. It’d be nice to reconnect with Raegan for like a day, just to catch up. Then again I’ve since been able to track her down on social media, so it’s nice to be able to see how she’s doing, at least from afar.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? The teacher-in-charge of my section was a woman. They didn’t really appoint guy teachers to be TICs until recently.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled?  Yeah, but it had been a decayed tooth at that point that really needed to be pulled since it technically didn’t have a purpose anymore.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair. 

Have you ever been to a nursing home?  I don’t think so.

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into?  Fortunately, no. My mom’s childhood home was robbed though, and their grand piano ended up being stolen :( To this day they have no clue how the thieves were able to pull it off without making too big of a fuss.

Is there someone in your life you don’t want in it?  I don’t think I dislike anyone that much at the moment.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?  Three. Two of them because they died, and the other one is my dad for the times we had to drive him to the airport though I only cried over it only as a kid. 

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?  Andi.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?  Yes.

Pretending to “never get the text” from someone who annoys you. Is that you?  Not really. I reply, just not quickly enough.

If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say?  Honest to god I would probably be smug about it, and ask what led to the sudden change of mind. I’m doing too okay now to entertain the request though, so idk if I would agree to it or not because I’ve worked pretty hard to get here.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I wouldn’t know; I’ve never been with a guy before so I haven’t really had a chance to establish a preference.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Nothing.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows?  I have my moods. I prefer my cooking shows on YouTube, though.

Do you worry about gaining weight?  No.

Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching?  Yeah the acting was so fucking cheesy the first 5 minutes the only thing left for me to do was gag. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in?  They don’t really organize stuff here, or if they do I never join them to begin with.

Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses' names?  Nope. I know my sister doesn’t want to get married + I don’t speak to my brother, so I dunno if I’ll ever have any in-laws tbh.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out?  Well obviously I crave it these days, so it actually feels nice when everyone in the family has errands to run on the same day.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone?  I lost Sofie, but I also blame college life for that loss.

Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little?  No.

To who did you last give the finger to?  I haven’t had to flip someone off in a while. I’m guessing just some stupid driver.

Do you talk in your sleep?  Nope. At least I have never been informed that I do.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?  It’s civil enough for the house to stay quiet most days, but it’s nothing excellent.

Have you ever been a featured member on any website?  I don’t think so.

Do you feel that your previous relationships were a waste of time?  Yes.

Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows?  Without. I HAAAAAATE marshmallows.

Which do you like better: Regular cakes or cookie cakes?  I never got the point of cookie cakes tbh lol.

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex?  No.

If your significant other cheated on you, would you take them back?  I know I definitely have the capacity to be dumb enough to do this, but it would also depend on how invested I am in the person.

What was the last song you listened to?  I'm currently listening to a slowed down version of Jungkook’s cover of Biebs’ 2U. 4 AM things.

What do you look for most in a friendship?  I’ve answered this question on a previous survey, same with a few of the following questions.

[motleymoose]

Homecoming Pt 4: Nevvarro Ch 5

Chapter 5 The Peace Within

Fandom: The Mandalorian, Star Wars Characters: Paz Viszla (Paz Vizla), Gender-Neutral Reader Words: 1.8k+ Warnings: Blood, Fluff!!!

Summary:

A little calm in the calamity.

Notes:

See? See?!? I TOLD you there was gonna be some happiness… sorta!!!

Thanks for reading! Look out for Part 5!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Homecoming Masterlist

Sprinting down the lonely hallway, I ignored the blood dripping down my face, allowing my instincts rather than sight to guide me out of the Clan’s maze of tunnels. I didn’t know where I was, or where exactly I was going, but I knew I had to be out of the covert, away from Din Djarin and everything he believed in.

Vaguely aware of the shadowy forms darting out of the way as I passed, I kept my head down and ran. I didn’t need to breathe, didn’t need to think. All I needed to do was run. Run and forget and never feel again.

The whispering shadows thinned. The air grew cooler. But I let it all go, the only sensations I wanted were my heart beating in my chest and the soft soles of my boots slapping the smooth concrete. I didn’t stop to catch my breath, didn’t slow down to find my bearings. I ran as if it were the only thing keeping me alive.

I was so caught up in the thrill of flight that I didn’t notice the floor gradually slanting upwards. The toes of my boots caught on the treads carved into the concrete, a change from the smoothness of the hallways. But I didn’t stop to look. I just kept on running.

Until I reached a dead end. Well, not exactly a dead end, but a door. A door, guarded by two Mandalorians casually lounging against a scattering of crates. Blocking my way to freedom.

I skidded to a stop, blowing like a bellows. Sweat plastered my jumpsuit to my body, blood trickling down the back of my throat. I tried to swallow, but choked instead.

“Udesii! Me’bana? Me’viinii gar teh, vaar’ika?” the same gigantic blue-gray warrior from before asked calmly, a large gloved hand extended to show he didn’t mean any harm. He approached me slowly, a wounded and frightened creature ready to bolt. Wild and feral, my eyes were surely rolling white and my nostrils flaring in distress.

“I need… to-to get out… Now,” I panted, licking at a split in my bottom lip. My tongue came away metallic and salty, bile rising in response. The adrenaline began to ebb, and I doubled over, the pain from my injuries unfurling themselves in thorny red waves. I couldn’t help but groan.

“Easy, vod’ika. Breathe.” The blue-gray warrior angled his helmet towards his partner, speaking a clipped version of Mando’a I couldn’t understand. With a nod, the other Mandalorian took off at a light jog down the tunnel, disappearing around a corner.

The echoing bootsteps faded to nothing. His attention back on me, the large warrior squatted in front of me, tilting his visor until he knew I could see him. “What’s the matter?” he asked, his warm voice a soothing balm to my jangled nerves.

I didn’t know this warrior, and he sure as hell didn’t know me. What gave him the fragging right to ask me this?

“Naas,” I replied dryly. Mandalorians asked to find out things in a literal sense. I didn’t feel like telling him anything.

But he could sense that. “Ibac’jehaat, ad’ika. You don’t have to tell me,” he said. Unfolding himself to his imposing height, he stood straight once more and motioned me over to the crates. “Come, atinad’ika. Let me take a look at that naas on your face.”

Spent from fighting and running and ignoring the confusion of emotions, I dragged myself to the crates and hoisted onto one. I sullenly stared into space as the blue-gray Mando dug through one of the other crates, shifting the contents this way and that in his search. Soon, he held a medkit proudly aloft and plopped it beside me.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” I asked, only half-joking. I turned my attention to his hands, unable to trust anything about him, even after the kindness he’d shown me.

“Not in the least; I never could pass my basic med training,” he deadpanned as he peeled off his gloves. His hands, I was surprised to note, were a deep golden russet bordering on bronze, strong and well-defined and peppered with thin white scars. Long fingers, the pinkie and ring finger on his left hand crooked at the first and second knuckles as if they had been broken and then healed improperly, looked warm and inviting, and I had to stop myself from reaching over to trace my fingers over the backs of his hands. He angled his visor at me. I furrowed my brow and coughed, hoping he hadn’t noticed my staring.

I was rewarded with a glob of phlegm from the depths of my guts. It was unpleasant, and I gagged a little at the taste.

He must have taken it as doubt, for he tried again to assuage my imagined fears. “Really, you don’t have to worry. I can take care of a few scrapes.” The smile in his voice sent a tingle down my spine, building on the off-centering feeling of wanting to be taken care of. By him.

I swallowed the blood and the bile and the need for comfort, choosing instead to tentatively meet his gaze. “You don’t have to…” I stopped, weakly gesturing at my face with a bloodied hand.

The warrior shrugged, busying himself with the medkit latch. “We take care of our own. Now hold still, this is gonna sting.”

“But-”

“K’uur, atinad’ika. Let me do my work in peace.”

Several quick jabs with a syringe and a liberal application of bacta gel later, and I was physically feeling a little less bruised.

Packing the unused med supplies back into the kit, he pushed the trash aside and joined me on the crate, legs splayed out in front of him, boots windshield-wipering back and forth to a beat only he could hear. The quiet between us settled around our bodies in thick, feathery layers.

I could say it was a relief to sit in companionable silence. After everything I had fought against, after all the fear and the anger and the frustration that had built up over the last week, it should have been nice to just sit and not be asked of anything. But as all things with my mind, I wouldn’t cooperate.

Tense and ready to spring at the slightest provocation, I gripped the square edge of the crate, my knuckles turning white and my nails bending against the hard plastic. The silence was nerve-wracking. It got under my skin, made me itchy and restless. With no distractions and little ambient sound, the words began to fall out of my mouth, fuzzy and coarse and prickly.

“I only wanted to get off that doshing moon,” I began, voice low and grainy. “I thought… I hoped that I could. With… him.” I couldn’t bring myself to utter Din’s name. Even though we may have shared the same adoptive buir, I didn’t have to like the guy, refused to show him much respect. Not after Bosph. Not after all of our fights. “Seeing him, I thought… I thought all Mandalorians were like my buir.”

Humming softly, the blue-gray Mando cocked his helmet in understanding. “Munit tome’tayl, skotah iisa,” he replied.

I laughed feebly. “Yeah. That he is.” Slowly, I unclamped my fingers from the side of the crate and laid them, palms up, in my lap. I stared blankly at them as I continued. “Sometimes I get so… so angry, that I can’t hold it in. The more I shove it back, the sharper it gets, until, well.” I pointed to my face again. “Can’t say what he did was unwarranted. I’ve been a bit of a fragging ass, despite his best efforts at keeping me alive.”

It was the giant’s turn to laugh, the gravelly chuckle buzzing pleasantly through the modulator.

Sighing heavily, I curled my fingers into my palms, briefly digging my nails into the oil-stained flesh. “But he-he had no right. In bringing me here. I didn’t choose to be cared for by a war criminal.” I turned my hands over, rolling the knuckles into the tops of my thighs, palms slicking with sweat as I remembered. “This isn’t my cause, you… you aren’t my people.” Biting my lip, I screwed my eyes shut, the tell-tale pricklings of tears welling behind the lids frightening me more than getting caught in a blaster fight. I was not going to cry. Not now, not in front of this warrior. Not ever.

“Let me out… please. I can’t be here. I-I don’t belong.”

The words caught him off guard as much as they did me. Shifting his body to face me, the Mandalorian brought a bare hand up to gingerly cup my chin, tipping my head back until I was forced to open my eyes and look at him. “Don’t belong? Atinad’ika,” he said quietly, dropping the hand to my shoulder with a squeeze. “Gar tal’din naas jaon’yc.”

“Don’t give me that line of kovedee’osik,” I said cooly, shrugging off his comforting hand, twisting away from his warmth. There was that biting anger again, rearing its ugly head at any sign of pity or sympathy. “I don’t want to belong. I’m just fine by myself,” I lied, mostly to myself. “I’m going.”

The blue-gray Mandalorian sat staring at me for a long, uncomfortable moment. Then, slapping his beskared thighs with his beautiful hands, he stood up and strode purposefully to the door. “We can’t hold you against your will, atinad’ika,” he sighed, sliding back bolts with practiced ease. “Even if you don’t believe you are part of this Clan, we will always accept you back. No matter what happens out there.” Finished with the bolts, he turned to the control panel to punch in the code. “But one thing, atinad’ika.” His dark tan fingers hovered over the release button, helmet tilted towards me. “We aren’t the only ones who know about your buir. There are… other forces out there that also search for him. And if they find out that you are his…”

I froze. Frag. I hadn’t even thought about someone else out there to get me. “What would you have me do?” I asked, swallowing the cracks in my voice.

Lowering his hand, the Mandalorian turned to me, tensed as if ready for a struggle. “Are you sure you want to know?” he murmured, his vocoder barely registering the rich depths of his voice.

“Elek,” I replied nervously, knowing all too well what he was going to ask of me.

“Stay.”

______________________________________________

Notes:

Udesii! Me’bana? Me’viinii gar teh, vaar’ika? - Take it easy (Calm down!)! What’s happening (what’s happened?)? What are you running from, pipsqueak? [lit. What running you from, runt? - mashed the Mando’a] vod’ika. - little sibling ad’ika - little one, son, daughter, of any age - also used informally to adults much like *lads* or *guys* Naas - Nothing Ibac’jehaat, ad’ika - That is a lie, little one [what even is sentence structure] atinad’ika - [not not a word] little stubborn one (atin - stubborn; ad’ika - little one) K’uur, atinad’ika. - Hush, little stubborn one. Munit tome’tayl, skotah iisa, - long memory, short fuse - said to be the typical Mando mindset Gar tal’din naas jaon’yc.. - Your past is unimportant. (lit. Your bloodline is nothing important) [butchers the Mando’a] kovedee’osik - bullshit (kovedee - cow-like creature the size of a bison; osik - shit {or dung, but insulting-like}) [just gonna keep on making up words until someone corrects me] Elek - Yes

[scriptlgbt]

My story is about pirates. The MC is a trans guy and the captain is a lesbian who is some sort of big sister/mother figure to him. It's quite violent. I was wondering if it could be problematic? I know it's problematic to show trans woman being overly violent in fiction but what about cis lesbians and straight trans guys? Also, do you know about real any queer pirates i could read about? And what did pirates think about homosexuality/transness?) How was it being queer in the pirate world?

A conversation that I had, that is relevant:

ME: [PARTNER], do you know anything about queer pirates?

PARTNER: I know that there were many, and they’d sometimes be like -

ME: Sea husbands kind of thing?

PARTNER: Yeah, and one would inherit from the other’s booty, and when it was divided up, they’d share their share of the booty.

ME: [mischievous grinning face]

PARTNER: [nodding] And they might share each other’s booty.

Disclaimer: This whole thing is going to largely focus on what is known as the Golden Age Of Piracy. I’m also not a historian, I just hardcore, love pirates with my heart and soul. This is going to be a long post.

So, this is super generalized, but pirates, and even sea-faring folks in general (see: - or sea, hahahahaha - the LGBT+ history of Brighton in the UK), have tended to have a much higher rate of LGBT+ folks and minoritized people in general, throughout history. As far as most research I’ve done goes. Being in a travelling situation and having the anonymity of being able to move around with chosen family generally has great appeal to folks whose existences are filled with oppression and a sense of not belongingness. This has also applied for racialized people, women in general, impoverished folks in general, a lot of different people who wanted to reclaim a place in the world that ostracized them.

Another fun fact, the use of the term “Friend of Dorothy” as a euphemism for gay folks was investigated by the US Navy. They misunderstood it as meaning that there actually was a woman named Dorothy who could be routed down and coerced into outing her “friends” to the military. Cruise ships and others have also used this phrase to covertly advertise that there were meetings for these folks. (Source: Wikipedia | “Friend of Dorothy”) 

But to get to the pirates, specifically.

Most pirate ships largely had their own code that everyone on their ship had to agree to. Some had things like, “you’ll be marooned with one knife, and no food if you are caught not reporting loot to be divvied up by the crew fairly” and things like that. But generally, whoever ran the ship, the Captain, would get to pick the rules. And with the partial-democracy that comes with the idea of mutiny, and the more notable reliance on the labour of it all, in general, things were able to be slightly more consensus-based than the on-land governments.

There are numerous women who became pirates to take ownership of their lives in ways that weren’t permitted on-land. Anne Bonny and Mary Read are historical figures that might be worth looking into. The two of them shared lovers, sailed together, had intense care for one and other and with their dressing up in masculine-coded attire and the like, there’s a lot to go off of in assuming they may have been romantically involved with each other. If not, at least they had some iteration of what a lot of contemporary folks might find comparable to a QPR.

The concept of “sea husbands” was also called matelotage (or bunkmate) depending on your crew. It was kind of the buddy system, but gayer. With little need to consistently explain it to outsiders, folks at sea were freer to explore the different ways a relationship with another person can be, without so much worrying about how it looks to others at a passing glance. And as pirates, there’s less concern that you’ll get shit from the law for gay stuff Of All Things. 

Buccaneer Alexander Exquemelin wrote: ‘It is the general and solemn custom amongst them all to seek out… a comrade or companion, whom we may call partner… with whom they join the whole stock of what they possess.’  (Source)

It was just normal. They also had a version of health insurance where someone was compensated if they ended up disabled from battle. The compensation of death of your partner also works into this.

As for transness, these kinds of things have had fickle definitions and historically, it’s hard to be able to pinpoint specific people as fitting cleanly into contemporary cultural definitions of transness, because frankly, the past had different culture to now. When it comes to writing canonically trans characters in contexts where the language might have been different, it’s important to focus on making sure that a trans reader can identify the personal connection with that character’s experiences and feelings, just as much as it is to use language to name folks as trans. 

Representation can go deeper than surface terminology and the like, and in cases where the terminology doesn’t necessarily match, it has to. Language like, “I never really felt like a [assigned gender] - I see myself more like [desciption of actual gender identity or name for it].” - is as good as just saying the character is trans in my opinion.

Depending on where the character is from, they also may have just outright had a word in their language for their identity. 

Gender presentation was significantly freer with pirates than it was for folks on land. Things like earrings, frilled sleeves, varied hair length and similar, were not uncommon, although the gendered coding associated with these aspects of appearance had different implications than they do now. Gold earrings on seafarers were there to fund a proper burial if someone’s body washed ashore. Gendered clothing was also coded in more binary ways on land. Folks who wanted to be coded as men could do so by wearing pants and folks who wanted to be coded as women could do so with skirts and dresses. (Tangential but fun fact yet again: dressing in those big poofy skirts usually included massive pockets. They were generally not physically attached to the skirts, but if you wore it all properly you would easily be able to reach into them.) 

Pirates and other seafarers also had clothing referred to as ‘slops’ for cleaning (if they were of the rank that cleaned anyway) which were pretty wide-legged pants that could almost pass for a skirt. 

Material that pirates used for clothing was largely what they stole, but it was cut and sewn into the same shapes a lot of other seafarers wore. At the time, it was largely illegal (under English rules anyway) for people who weren’t the bourgeoisie to wear anything made with nice fabric. Rich people saw this as deceitful, and these laws enabled richer people to not mingle on an equal level with those of a lower socioeconomic status.

As pirates, if you’re already shunning the law, may as well wear full calico suits. (Like Calico Jack Rackham.)

There’s more info on pirate and privateer clothing here. (The link is to a free book in HTML format, complete with illustrations and talk of materials, and how the clothes worn at sea varied from clothes they wore when they came into shore and towns.)

I could write a book on this and still not have covered enough. But the gist is that pirates were a big counterculture of outsiders living their lives. LGBT+ people and racialized people got thrown into the mix (and jumped right in) and experienced much more liberated lives than they might otherwise. That isn’t to say they were flawlessly inclusive - there still definitely were a lot of things people thought of in congruence with colonial beliefs. There was racism and homophobia - but it looked a lot different, and was a lot lighter than you’d think. And there were some ships which banned women, but mainly I think that was because they typically didn’t have the background to hold their ground on the ships, and were considered more of a plus one to certain crew members (who brought them - the rules were specifically about bringing them onto the ship rather than them being there of their own accord) than part of the crew. Sometimes women were part of the crew.

Notably, Anne Bonny and Mary Read were in a polyamorous triad with Calico Jack Rackham. (I think a cis + het historian might argue about this but that would seem like denial to me tbh. There is much, MUCH more evidence pointing in this direction than against it, and it would be extraordinarily hard to argue otherwise.) I would definitely do some research on them!

I also recommend this book (link is the free text on WikiSource), A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the most notorious Pyrates. It is perhaps the most famous contemporary record of the lives of a number of pirates from the time, including Anne Bonny and Mary Read.

As for the sensitivity aspect of this ask, I’d say that what you are describing is completely fine. As long as the violence isn’t used to dehumanize or completely demonize, I would even say that I don’t have any warnings for you about it, or precautions to advise on.

Thank you for this opportunity to infodump about LGBT+ pirates. I hope this is not overwhelming, but I’m also happy to parse out segments of this better upon request. (Our ask will be open eventually, I promise.)

- mod nat

[thundersolstice]

Lion-OxTygra WIP (R, discontinued)

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Unfinished! Extremely OOC! PWP! Gratuitous kink worship (I don’t know what this kink is called but I’m pretty sure it has a “normal” version name? Basically Lion-O and Tygra bang while Tygra is invisible). Summary/Notes: This is an early draft WIP for a fic I probably won’t finish because there’s too much wrong with it–can’t be salvaged without starting over–but what brainless smut that’s written is fun if you can glance over flow/clarity errors and forget how painfully OOC everyone is. I’m sharing because there isn’t enough fic in this fandom, and I wish to acknowledge kinktober since I can’t participate all month lmao.

I have every intention of writing this basic concept (Lion-O x Tygra with Tygra invisible) properly, but I couldn’t say when/if it’ll ever get done and posted, so.

Tygra stared at him, bemused. “Why?”

“Why not?” Lion-O bounced in place on the edge of the bed, fingers drumming against the bedclothes with nervous energy. When Tygra failed to look delighted and aroused, he added hastily, “We don’t have to or anything, I was just, y-you know, curious—”

“No, it’s fine,” Tygra said, still bemused. He uncrossed his arms but remained leaning against the bedpost—no sign of irritation, still close enough to touch. A knot eased in Lion-O’s chest, and he stopped bouncing.

“I just don’t know why you’d want to,” Tygra continued. “I didn’t think you were like that, Lion-O. Will you ask me to tie you down and flog you next?” His tone was amused, a little dry to mask the lingering sense of bafflement, but Lion-O received the mental image with crystal clarity; his mouth went dry.

He had to take a steadying breath before he could reply, affecting a tone of sly seduction. “Are you offering?”

“…If you really want it that badly?” Tygra said, and he was back to being bemused again, gaze askance.

Lion-O leaned forward and bumped his forehead against Tygra’s arm, smiling now. “I’ll settle for your other skill this time.”

“Alright.” Tygra straightened and strode across the room.

Lion-O watched his back while he rummaged in a drawer, heart pounding. When Tygra turned around with his whip in hand, Lion-O became aware of the aching tension between his legs like a punch to the gut. He tried to stand, found his legs were shaking, and sank back down on the side of the bed while Tygra crossed the room.

He stopped in front of his brother, eyes drifting, and tapped his smirk with the handle of the whip. “I haven’t seen you gagging for me this hard since our last patrol.” His eyes lingered on Lion-O’s face during his second, more successful attempt to stand. “What was it that had you so bothered at the time?” Tygra continued while Lion-O, lost for words, nuzzled his neck and pressed their hips together. “I took off my shirt, wasn’t that it? And you abandoned the mounts to wander so you could lick my stripes before I put my shirt back on. Honestly, I’ve been under the impression you liked looking at my body.”

Lion-O dragged his tongue through the fur on Tygra’s throat, pressing his erection urgently into his brother’s crotch. “I might love your body more than you do,” he whispered, voice trembling. “This is a new way to experience it.”

Tygra draped one arm around Lion-O’s hip and tapped the back of his thigh with the whip; he buried his free hand in Lion-O’s mane and yanked him into a rough kiss.

Lion-O made a desperate, plaintive sound and applied himself with helpless fervor, enough to leave Tygra gasping and decisively aroused. He was wearing a pair of loose white pants, placing his erection on display, and Lion-O reacted to this sight like he usually did: he dropped to his knees and mouthed his brother through the material. Tygra groaned and placed a hand on top of Lion-O’s head, holding him steady so he could thrust into his mouth as much as his clothing would allow. When he pushed Lion-O back for breath, the front of his pants were marred by a transparent wet spot clinging to his skin.

Lion-O very nearly ripped Tygra’s pants down and crashed forward, sucking him fully into his mouth before the material had hit the ground. He moved aggressively, pulling off and sucking him back in quickly enough to knock him off balance. He wrapped one hand around Tygra’s wrist—the one with the whip—and slid the other between his legs to massage and squeeze his sac. When he looked up, he found Tygra’s teeth clenched and his eyes closed, eyebrows drawn together; Lion-O abandoned Tygra’s balls in favor of his own.

All told, it took a remarkably short amount of time to get Tygra ready. Once he was fully erect, Lion-O licked the precum from his head and then required Tygra’s aid in stumbling back to his feet. Their tongues and lips met eagerly between pulling one another’s shirts off, and they remained fastened together until Tygra reached around and slid fingers down Lion-O’s back and between his legs. They broke apart together, Lion-O gasping at his brother’s touch and Tygra smirking faintly at what he found.

“Have you been wearing this all day?” Tygra purred, eliciting another gasp from his brother and driving his hips forward.

“I w-wanted to be ready for you,” Lion-O gasped. He jerked and nuzzled into Tygra’s fur while those fingers slid the dildo out and twisted in and slid back out, dribbling lubricant every time it was drawn out, and driving a heavy stream of precum into the fur of both their stomachs every time it was driven back in.

“I like this.” Tygra did something that resulted in a less-than-masculine yelp. “You should do this more often for me.” He drove Lion-O’s hips forward, forcing him to grind his cock between both muscled abdomens.

Lion-O wound one arm around Tygra’s neck (and did not release Tygra’s whip arm) and hooked one leg around his thigh, groaning and thrusting helplessly at Tygra’s direction. “Please, brother, please, I'm—” Which was all the warning either of them got before Lion-O tightened and cried out and jerked while Tygra continued to work his ass to the very deliberate outcome of a throbbing, spurting mess between their stomachs. When Lion-O’s muscles loosened, Tygra pulled their toy out and let it fall to the ground with a wet clatter, then slid his fingers into his brother’s body to twist and press and stroke him in places Tygra knew better than Lion-O himself.

“Love the slick,” Tygra purred, a definite growl in his voice now. “Did you use an entire bottle on yourself? Feels like it.”

Lion-O whimpered and writhed, struggling to avoid the over-stimulation and increase it all at once. Tygra knew what he was doing, of course—they’d been lovers for the better part of a year, and he knew exactly what it took to bring Lion-O’s enviably brief refractory to an even briefer end. Not a minute passed before he was rock hard again, and very eagerly pushing himself onto Tygra’s fingers.

Tygra released him and stepped back, twisting his whip arm free. When Lion-O made a shaky attempt to step forward, Tygra pointed the whip at him. “Do you want me to use this?”

Lion-O rocked back onto his heels, still breathless. His eyes darted from the whip to Tygra’s face to his stomach, where Lion-O’s seed had been smeared liberally. He touched the fingers of one hand to his own stomach, smearing his ejaculate into his fur and muscles. “Use it,” he whispered, gaze dropping to Tygra’s dripping cock. “Please.”

“Bed,” Tygra said, and Lion-O obeyed with alacrity, if clumsily.

The whipcrack seemed to snap the room in two, and Lion-O froze, both hands and one knee planted on the bed. His pulse skyrocketed. How long had he imagined this scenario, writhing and thrusting alone in Tygra’s bed? How long had he waited for this?

Tygra’s steps were silent, but Lion-O detected his touch a second before it came by the disturbed air. He jumped anyway and twisted, staring over his shoulder. The room behind him appeared empty, but the warm fur-ruffling hand sliding up the inside of his thigh was absolutely real.

“Like this?” Tygra purred, and his fist closed around Lion-O’s cock and began stroking.

Lion-O grunted and dropped back to his hands and knees. Between his legs, his cock was squeezed and pulled by a hand that didn’t exist (except it did, oh, gods, it did). “Y-yeah,” he whispered, watching and feeling his balls being squeezed and then released. “This, exactly this…” Another hand squeezed a thigh and then slid up, and fingers were inside him again. Lion-O gasped and jerked his hips, thrusting into Tygra’s fist and driving himself onto Tygra’s fingers and—Tygra’s touch disappeared, and Lion-O nearly fell off the bed, flailing briefly.

He was still pushing himself up when Tygra’s hands returned. This time, the grip was hard, closing around his hips and flipping him onto his back and forcing his thighs apart. Disembodied hands dragged him toward the edge of the bed until his hips were suspended impossibly in the air. Lion-O braced his elbows on the bed while Tygra arranged his legs over his shoulders and then nudged at his brother’s slick entrance. Lion-O whimpered, eyes wide and taking in the empty room between his legs.

“This was a good idea,” Tygra’s voice murmured, somewhere between aroused and amused. “You should see yourself, little brother. Dripping and hard and panting all alone. I can see you opening up for me while I push in.” They both groaned while Lion-O stretched open around an invisible cock, a visual Lion-O could appreciate even if he couldn’t see it.

Lion-O let his bottom lip slide out from between his teeth. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice broken and shaking. “A-and after this, I want you to lie on your back so I can ride a cock nobody can see, and then I want you to pick me up and fuck me in the air, and then I want you to suck me and let me see me shooting into the air and disappearing, and th-then I—”

“Fuck, fuck,” Tygra snarled, “you’re going to make me come!”

Lion-O got in a breathless, trembling laugh that quickly died when Tygra dragged him almost violently the rest of the way onto his cock and then bent forward to silence Lion-O’s cry (and his orgasm-inducing fantasies) with his mouth. Lion-O wrapped his arms and legs around his brother and moved his lips against a mouth he could not see. He was vaguely aware of Tygra’s whip, tied around his waist to leave his hands free, but was far more focused on the way his ass was held in the air, how it must look to see him being opened and pounded by a cock that could not be seen, the hot slide of Tygra’s cock and the splattering drips of excess lubricant, in and out of his body—what of his lips and teeth and tongue, did they disappear between Tygra’s lips or was his tongue being sucked into a mouth only he knew existed, a fantasy both real and unreal, a spirit or a spectre with the hard, hard, hard thrusts of his brother, and the taste of his brother’s tongue?

Lion-O grabbed two handfuls of Tygra’s hair and met his thrusts with gasping, open-mouthed cries,

(that’s all she wrote, folks)

[hipsofsteel]

bro you gotta tell me more about chris

Gladly! The dad man is important to me. And so, we meet…

Christopher “Chris” Lewis Joseph, personification of Eastern Oregon/Nyo!Oregon

Credit to crikadelic, who will not be tagged in this post for reasons.

Physical Description

At 5′10, with dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a slightly olive skin tone, Chris is a very good looking man. He’s got well trimmed facial hair that can be a bit scruffy and thin, but he maintains it well. He’s well muscled from his work as a cattle rancher, and general farmwork. He is half Nez Perce (Nimiipuu) and half English, born in the area of present day Joseph, Oregon in 1806, and celebrates his birthday on February 14th.

Chris’s face claim is model Julian Schratter. He has no voice claims at the moment.

Personality

Christopher and Beverly were cut from the same cloth in some respects. Controlling either of them is nearly impossible. He’s a force of nature when he wants to be, stubborn and insistent and nearly impossible to be forced to do something he refuses to do. He’s as free-spirited and wild as he wants to be.

At the same time, he shows a remarkable degree of caution and thoughtful behavior that his twin sister tends to lack. If not caught in an urgent situation or in his own whirlwind of passions, he approaches things with well-thought out responses and is a calm and collected and highly intelligent man. He’s a great person to go to for advice.

He’s also very attached to those he forms close relationships with, either as family or friends. He’ll always have his twin sister’s back, and anyone who finds themselves in the position of being “adopted” as his child has just gained an ally and parental figure who will love them and defend them endlessly. Although, dispute it as he does, he does have a favorite child (Adam).

Sexuality and Gender

Behold, the one and only heterosexual cisgender OC I’ve made for my States. Chris is an incredible ally however, who openly supports all his friends and family.

Also, his type of women is as follows, so I promise you can trust him.

And he means it.

Religion

Chris has a personally styled fusion between Christianity and the indigenous religions he was raised around on the Columbian Plateau. He is not really big on explaining his faith as it’s a deeply personal and conflicting matter even for himself, so I don’t have much more to say than that for him. However, one of his two most irreplaceable objects he owns is a copy of Henry Harmon Spalding’s translation of the Book of Matthew into Nez Perce. Take from that what you will.

Employment

Chris has previously made his living as a farmer and for a brief while as a blacksmith, but nowadays, he owns a cattle range and is a full-time rancher, with a large range area in Central/Eastern Oregon. He also raises horses on the side, both as a secondary income and to continue traditions of horse breeding he was raised in with the Nez Perce.

Pets

I’ll try to keep this brief, but Chris has seven animals he considers close pets/his long lifespan has affected theirs, so I’ll divide it into sections.

Dogs

Zip and Lucky

Zip is Chris’s working dog, a purebred blue heeler who knows how to move a cow herd as well as he knows that when Chris puts on dark and clean pants, he’s leaving the house for meetings (sadness) and when he puts on less nice “farm” pants, they’re working stock that day (happiness!)

Lucky is based on Rincon, the dog owned by Chris’s faceclaim. Lucky is a beloved pet mutt and gets to come with Chris and Zip to work cattle, although his main job is to sit and stay since he has zero Cow Sense.

Horses

Jackrabbit, Strawberry, Juniper, and Celilo

Is Chris a dog or cat person? Neither, he’s a horse person (followed by dogs).

Jackrabbit is Chris’s horse he’s had the longest, serving as Chris’s warhorse during his youth. He’s one of the fastest horses any of the western states own, and he’s very selective about who’s allowed to ride him (Christopher, Beverly, Adam, and Helen are the only people who can). He’s a wild tempered buckskin Nez Perce Horse stallion.

Strawberry is a red roan Appaloosa that Chris has had nearly as long as he’s had Jackrabbit. She’s a gentle mare and very good with people.

Juniper is a Kiger Mustang mare, slightly more testy than Strawberry, and more prone to being spooked, but she’s a good horse.

Celilo is a palomino American Quarter Horse gelding, bought to be a reliable pack-horse for Chris. He’s as gentle as Strawberry and loves people.

Jackrabbits

Little Lady or “Lady”

Once upon a time, Chris and Juniper accidentally spooked a mother jackrabbit into the claws of a hawk, and then nearly immediately found her babies. Chris raised the three kits and released them into the wild shortly afterwards, but Lady stuck around his house. She appears pretty reliably every year, and seems to have been affected by his long lifespan, so he gave her a name and treats her a bit more like a pet than anything else.

He loves to joke that Jackrabbit met an actual jackrabbit, and everyone around him glares at him.

Relationships with other States

Family first

Western Oregon/Oregon

Credit to crikadelic again.

Sometimes, your twin sister is a lumberjack lesbian (quite literally on both counts) with arms made of steel and one hell of a right hook. Also she’s way more liberal than you, and politically you get dragged along with whatever she wants.

Ironically, once upon a time, Beverly wasn’t the main personification of the Oregon Territory. It wasn’t until American settlement picked up that the power of the state swung to her. Before then, Christopher held most of the power, but this was also when the Oregon Territory including all of Washington, Idaho, parts of Montana and Wyoming, and since Chris was entirely east of the Cascades, well, it made sense that he held the upper hand. Only later as the size of the land they represented shrank did power trade hands.

As independent as Beverly is, and as willing to tell her twin to fuck off, they have a very close relationship. They tell each other off, and sparks fly between them quite often, with Beverly usually being the one to storm off while Chris remains a wall of a human being. But they’ll quietly make up out of sight later, and then be right back to joking around and teasing each other.

And when it comes to advice, Beverly has no closer confidant than her twin, and often shows him the vulnerability that no one else sees. They trust each other implicitly, knowing that despite their differences, they won’t lead the other astray. No one could ask for a better twin sister.

Eastern Washington/Nyo!Washington

Credit to ME! 

First off, he’s the one on the right, the one on the left is Idaho (we’ll get to him in a bit).

Adam Landes-Bush is the original cause of a radiation of dad energy that seeps from Christopher at pretty much every moment of every day. After retrieving Adam from the Whitman Mission shortly after the Whitman Massacre, Chris basically said “My weird looking white kid now” and ran with it.

He and Adam had to learn to live together fast with help from Helen, as Adam is mute, and Helen taught them both Plains Sign Talk. But Chris adored Adam and taught him how to shoot, hunt, ride, and accepted his limitations when he hit them. He did his best to give Adam a good life, even when it meant sending him away from impending war to live with Martha, who he barely knew then.

They remain close, sharing more culturally with each other and Idaho than they sometimes do with the western halves of their states. Chris was the first person Adam came out to, and the fact that Chris instantly accepted allowed him to embrace his identity as a gay man in a time that it was socially, at best, simply not talked about. Chris would and has killed to protect this boy, and would gladly do so again.

Western Washington/Washington

Credit to crikadelic

Martha, Adam’s younger sister, views Christopher as a father figure, and so, in turn, he’s a little nicer to her than he is to Beverly sometimes.

Christopher and Martha met at a crossroads in both their lives. Christopher had been involved in the Nez Perce War and come home feeling lost and alone. Beverly had taken off around the same time to run wild in the Southwest, leaving a still very young Martha to fend for herself and Clark, and now Adam. Martha was struggling to handle the load, and Christopher needed to find his place in this unfamiliar world, and fast.

They were able to cooperate quickly, Chris taking on the workload of the farm and helping with Clark, allowing Martha and Adam to start growing and learning the responsibilities they needed to run a state. And in exchange, Martha taught Chris how to read and write English, and helped him improve his skills in speaking the language. 

To this day, they haven’t forgotten this point in their lives, and tend to critique each other much more carefully than they critique the other halves of their states.

End of Family, onto other states

Idaho

Credit to crikadelic

Ah, Clark Ashley, who exists in the most interesting little place in Chris’s mind. He’s friends with this guy, almost a father figure, hell, helped raise the little twerp. At the same time, he’s made Adam cry before, so he could also wring his neck. 

Clark and Chris have a very good and amiable relationship in general, and enjoy the other’s company. Clark admires Chris a lot, and Chris views him like a much younger version of Beverly, carrying many of her same qualities of extreme stubbornness and rampant emotions, as much as Clark will say he’s nothing like her.

However, the root of Chris’s constant problems with Clark relies mainly on one fact. Clark’s internalized homophobia at himself that affects his and Adam’s relationship, which has swayed from deeply involved romance to barely tolerating being in the same room. When Clark and Adam get into spats with their push me, pull you, almost a relationship, Chris gets caught in the middle, and always takes Adam’s side in the fight. He’s tried to even discourage them from pursuing each other at times to end the constant back and forth, but it’s never worked.

However, as Clark’s started to accept himself in the 21st century, Chris has been the one person who’s been able to reassure him that , yes, for some crazy reason, Adam still likes you, and Chris thinks that this time, for real, Clark is unlearning the toxic culture he absorbed. So, he wishes that crazy kid lots of luck.

Southern California/California

Credit to crikadelic

To say Roberto and Christopher are antagonistic would be the nicest way of putting it. Despite pretty much being of equal levels of importance to Beverly in her family, they cannot tolerate each other.

Roberto blamed Christopher for some of the worst of Beverly’s behaviors in the 1870s and 1880s, and Christopher blamed Roberto for stifling Beverly so much that she hadn’t been able to emotionally mature. Both arguments had some validity, and yet, a divide in opinions had begun.

Nowadays, Chris and Roberto are mainly antagonistic on pure principle. Chris represents a part of Oregon that is noticeably more red, and Roberto represents 55 blue electoral college votes. Chris has been considerably affected by Californication (large real estate development projects generally seen as similar to those in California), and Roberto sees him as very set in the past and unable to move forward.

Let’s just say Beverly has to work out the holiday seating arrangements very carefully.

Montana

Credit to crikadelic

Helen Rankin has been a friend since Chris met her when the Nez Perce went to trade with the Crow. She taught him sign, became an unofficial mother figure to Adam, and, much later on, officially involved with Christopher himself (they dated from 1898 to 1927).

They’re close friends and allies still. Helen’s as strong as a mountain in more ways than one, and one of the few people who can sway Chris when he’s a storm of emotions. She can be just as stubborn as him, and yet he admires her just as she is, and she feels the same about him. She’s saved his ass so many times, and he’s saved hers a few himself. If they needed the other there, they’d be there in a heartbeat.

They also additionally have an “unofficial” daughter to accompany their unofficial son in Adam. I’ve been developing a Missoula, Montana OC (Mariah Welch), and she’s been heavily influenced by Chris over the years, and is about as damn close to him as Adam. 

A quick note

Before I move on to my next section, I have been tinkering with my canon in the last several months, after a friend who had allowed me to entwine my Statetalia canon very heavily with theirs ghosted me, and this has affected this character significantly.

Christopher had been involved with their Nyo!Texas in the modern day, with Helen as his best friend. However, no longer comfortable with using this person’s OCs, I have yet to decide if Chris and Helen have, in the last few years, rekindled their relationship, or if my own Texas OC, who is a woman and in the earliest stages of development, is in a romantic relationship with him. This is going to take a long while to decide for personal reasons, and I’m okay with that.

Other States-Brief Thoughts

Northern California/Nyo!California- Inexplicably, he likes Alejandra way more than Roberto. Probably because of their little side project for the independent state of Jefferson.

Kansas- Nowhere near as antagonistic as Beverly and Evelyn’s relationship. He will agree with Evelyn to a certain point, but then he has to start defending his sister. Anyhow, she’s cute.

Nebraska- Logan’s a decent guy to have a drink with, definitely would have been a good guy for Adam if Adam hadn’t been so focused on Clark. IF he and Helen don’t end up getting back together in canon, he’s lowkey pushing for Helen and Logan to get together.

New York- Literally irrelevant to him, why are you asking for an opinion on that jackass?

Texas- Absolutely one amazing, ass-kicking woman, with the gift of aim from the gods, a smoking hot body, and God, she could step on him frankly. (I reiterate, my Texas OC is in development and this is subject to change).

RANDOM FACTS

-Sniper man! Christopher has served as a sniper for several wars. The Nez Perce were noted marksmen during the Nez Perce War, and one of the US’s most noted snipers was from Eastern Oregon. 

-Additionally, Christopher has always served in the US Marine Corps when he’s been fighting for the US.

-He originally was given the same last name as Beverly, Joseph-Astor. He dropped Astor following the Nez Perce War as an act of protest.

-Chris has two “paired” names from when I created his character. Beverly’s middle name is Columbia, so Christopher and Columbia, after Christopher Columbus (something neither of them is very thrilled about nowadays), and his middle name of Lewis pairs with Idaho’s first name, Clark, in honor of that famous expedition.

-Has a knife that was from Lewis and Clark’s Corps of Discovery as a trading item. It’s his second most irreplaceable object.

-Speaks Nez Perce (Niimi'ipuutímt), Chinook Jargon, Crow, Plains Sign Talk, ASL, Russian, German, Spanish, Basque, and English. 

-Has the most currently established tattoos out of any of my OCs.

[cleverbroadwayurl]

Prom Queen (Jeremy Heere x Reader Pt 20)

Song: Prom Queen by Catie Turner

Word Count: 2629

Need to Catch Up? Again, everything is linked in my masterlist because Tumblr is being silly about links! 

A/N: Please enjoy this new installment! I’ve been working hard on making sure that this piece is wonderful, and actually over a year ago, I started writing and rewriting this piece! I am so happy with how far it’s come and the support on it is amazing!! Thank you so much! 

Taglist: @retrogarden @be-more-heidi-hansen @scarsonthecuffsofyourjeans @catatonic-kuragin @bluhimaweirdo @stargirl-murphy 

Trigger Warnings: Jeremy self depreciating, mentions of alcohol, extreme concern, mentions of an abusive boyfriend, mentions of traumas happening to a main character, mentions of the SQUIP, if I MISSED ANYTHING LET ME KNOW

Jeremy reaches his hand out, shaking as he tries to move the cursor away from the piece of media. He stops. Sharply, quickly, he shuts his laptop and casts it aside. Rolling over, the tears that had been forming in his eyes now spill down his cheeks. He can feel his legs contracting, toes curling so hard that his muscles begin to hurt, hands gripping the blanket. You were okay. You had to be okay.

Right?

It’s been two weeks since Jeremy had packed up his entire room with Michael and landed himself back at home, in his own room, with his own bed, and his own bathroom. The change had been sudden, weird, foreign to him. There was a though as he had looked at his house—a simple one, a new one: I don’t live here anymore, do I?. As the bags rolled up and into the house, Jeremy felt himself hesitate, like the world had stopped for a second to allow him to just take everything in. Sure, he was happy to be back and see his friends, but he missed some of the people that he’d met at school. He missed being able to have explicit conversations at Michael at literally any time of the day, the 3 AM Super Smash Bros. battles on a random Tuesday. All of this even before he’d stepped into the house that he’d come to know so well. It was weird, frightening almost.

But that melted away when he set up his room and finally got things unpacked. Once everything had its place once again, it felt normal again. It had taken him a week to do that, and the second he finished, Brooke texted the group chat and asked about having a get together while Jake was still in town on vacation before his job started back up again—owning two places as an independent student wasn’t practical, so he just chose to move to the town his college was in and get a job there. He’d only be in town for a week or two, so this event would be important. It would be the only time that the group would see him before their own semesters restarted in four months.

Within the hour, it’s decided: a bonfire in Brooke’s large country backyard. The weather was finally warm enough to actually enjoy Summer activities, rather than just dream about them in the middle of class—Brooke’s words, not his. But the ability to wear a t-shirt with no coat was definitely a liberating feeling. And so it was planned. The date was set, Jake was free, and Jeremy snapped back into reality as he looked around at the done-up backyard that Brooke obviously put time into.

He glances around at the golden lights above his head, the ones from Target that are as big as your fist. The department store called them “patio lights”, but Brooke had just strung them overhead on just part of her large yard, wrapping around beams, and making what would be soon twilight calming, despite the loudness of conversations and people. Within minutes after everyone arrived, the fire was started—safely—and the party officially started. Jeremy kicked the dirt and the lemonade in his cup swished before going back to its static state.

For the safety of everyone driving, Jake mainly, who’d have to drive two hours back the next day, no alcohol was served. It just made things easier for everyone, alcohol had too many reasons to it, too many bad memories, and was too social in such a way that if one person had a drink, it’d be awkward for everyone else and visa versa. But that didn’t mean there weren’t options. There was soda, lemonade, pink lemonade, juice, and water. Of course, you could also mix different drinks together to create something new, which apparently Rich liked to do, because that’s what Jeremy ended up with after he’d asked “can you get me something to drink?”

It wasn’t a bad taste, it was just different. He’d asked for no caffeine, shockingly, because it was late and he kinda wanted to sleep that night. And Rich had kept his promise not to do that. He wasn’t going to intentionally go against someone’s wishes for no reason—that was dick move he’d been done with for almost 2 years now.

A breeze goes by, and for the first time in months, it feels good. It’s a cool 65, warm enough to wear a t-shirt and jeans, but not get cold when the breeze does hit you. The sun continues to set and the area goes from the golden that Jeremy envied and avoided so much to the darker hues of blue around him. The lights in the larger country house go on, the little kitchen window overlooking the backyard now prominent against the forest behind the party. As Jeremy zones out of conversation, he can feel heat in his chest—he missed this. He’d missed his friends, missed the get togethers, and while he really loved having people on his college campus that didn’t know anything about his junior year, he liked having people that he could relate to. He liked having a support group that didn’t need words to operate, but knew just by your actions what was happening. He enjoyed the way that he relaxed around the group, the way that everything seemed to click. No one was alone in the group, unless that person asked to be alone. He liked it. College was spent alone usually, this was…nice was the best word he could come up with.

Daisy runs through the party and stops at Jeremy. He can’t help a smile as he leans down and pets the yellow lab, her face reflecting the smile. The dog pants and enjoys the pets she gets before dashing off to a new part of the yard, chasing or following or doing something sweet that big dogs do. His heart swelled as she did so. Jeremy wasn’t sure why, but big dogs had such a soft spot in his heart. With a fluid motion, Jeremy decides to actually socialize with the people around him. His lemonade concoction swishes as he walks, and he’s careful to not spill it on himself or onto the ground. Jeremy decides to join the group of Chloe and Jenna; it’d been a while since he spoke to either of them, probably since around the holidays.

He joins in at the seemingly wrong time: Jenna’s talking about her social work classes for her major and prelaw track. She’s smart, she’s confident, and the prelaw track was unexpected, but it suits her. The information she now stores in her head is to indefinitely help people instead of using it in the snake-like way she once did. While not the social butterfly in high school, Jenna sure seems to be one in college. Good for her.

There’s an exchange on conversation, shifting to Chloe’s interest in design. She’d been debating on which design for a while, but was now narrowed down to two different kinds: textile or interior. Jeremy was sure she’d choose interior. Chloe continued to talk on, but Jeremy couldn’t pay attention to her. The things she was saying were interesting, and he’d remember the silly facts later when talking to her. He knew how much Chloe loved to talk about design and creating—he’d get the spiel later.

No, instead, something felt off. There was something ominous about the Summertime for some reason. It felt like something was missing, like there was a loose connection somewhere. It had happened before, but nothing this strong, this out of place. It was that feeling you get when first starting a horror game. That edge, that something’s wrong but I don’t know what feeling. He kicks the dirt once again, lemonade drink clonking against the sides of the cup. This time, the drink doesn’t matter, the ground is just dirt, everything just felt like shapes. Fuck, maybe Night in the Woods had gotten to him too much. It wasn’t the same kind of shapes, though. It just…everything mattered to him, but the shapes persisted around him as the feeling kept haunting him.

As a distraction, he looks at the road and the neighbor’s house across the street. It’s a wooden house, and seems to only be stained and not painted. There are shutters, but Jeremy doesn’t notice them right away. It’s almost like a much larger version of a cottage in the woods. Instead, this is in an almost field area, out in the country but not owning any land for farming. It doesn’t matter. Jeremy can’t shake the feeling that there’s something odd. The air felt different, his mind is thinking about what that one thing is. He’s too distracted for a distraction.

Another breeze passes through, and Jeremy gets a chill this time as the leaves begin applauding the night. But instead of being set back into the present, Jeremy is escorted to the past. He can remember the wooden bench, the white paint, the architecture, the light in the octagon in the center of the roof, the that he—stop. It’s a command to himself. He can’t think about you. He can’t have the memories that include his senses happen here, not now. That would ruin the night, he’d have to go home, and not by himself. There’s no possible way to operate a car while his brain is giving him flashes, beautiful moments he’d shared with you—the way you’d clutched that coffee mug in the café, the way you’d been so afraid of everything, except, for the most part, him. The way you’d fallen asleep against the window of his car as he drove you home that first night, the Instagram posts, the moments of reluctancy, how everything came crashing down during one of the longest nights of Jeremy’s life. But he couldn’t start thinking about you now. He couldn’t think about the butterfly effect, the evidence that screams at him that you’re not okay or even worse.

Now is not the moment to think about that. Those times usually end in him playing the switch until 4 in the morning, trying to rid his head of you. All anyone had to do was ask Michael about it, he’d been the one to tell Jeremy to save for fuck’s sake and go to bed. Jeremy shakes his head of those thoughts, eyes searching for Michael around the yard, but fuck, he must be hallucinating because Michael isn’t anywhere to be found. Plan B: look for Rich.

But as soon as Jeremy’s eyes scan for Rich, he can’t spy that usually easy to spot red streak that Rich had kept so nicely. It was a trademark at this point, but not being able to find the trademark was terrifying. It was at this moment that Jeremy had to find someone who could just distract him until he could find one or both of them. And that’s when the conversation at hand seemed perfect for him. Jenna’s studies were interesting, an easy distraction was laid right in front of him. So he tuned in for a bit, but his brain was only retaining little information. The conversation had turned to white noise long ago, and his hand gripped the cup in his hand, knuckles turning white from forcing himself to attempt to be calm for just long enough to pass off that things were at least okay.

His eyes finally fix on the forest that surrounds the backyard, calming trees standing proudly against the golden light from the house and string lights above them. The yellowish glow gave the scene a heavenly glow. How ironic. As the darkness continued to seep into the area, the backs of the forest better fit Jeremy’s mood. On the surface, it was light, it was easy, like the beginning of Oxenfree. But underneath, everything felt dark, something was ominous, something was missing. With that thought, Jeremy realized just how destructive to himself he was being. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about you or trying to avoid thinking about you. Wikihow was right, he shouldn’t focus on forgetting you, he should just let things happen, let thoughts happen, and not dwell on them. It was easier to stop thinking about something when you aren’t trying to actively stop thinking about it. And the logic of it made sense, it’s just much easier said than done.

So his eyes refocus on the people around him, the sky, the idea of this chill party-turned bonfire and how nice it was to see everyone again. He thought about the moments before, the plans he had afterwards, but Michael had been weird about that. They usually played games after get togethers with all of their friends, but Michael had bailed this time, claiming that Jeremy probably wouldn’t want to. It was an odd excuse, and gave Jeremy that same feeling that he’d been feeling all night—and that was it. That was why everything was so odd, so weird, and of course reintegrating yourself back into your hometown is a weird feeling by itself, because again, Jeremy definitely felt like he’d moved. With a swish of his drink, Jeremy hears footsteps growing closer and the chain link fence to keep the dogs in click open.

With a quick assumption, Jeremy assumes that it’s just Jake or Rich or something coming back from getting more ice. It wasn’t warm, but the ice was melting like it was. He supposed that the breeze couldn’t cool it down—god that was a dumb joke. But it didn’t matter. He didn’t say it out loud. Jeremy blinks, and finally he’s able to focus on the conversation again.

But the minute that he’s ready to contribute to the conversation, Chloe and Jenna had backed away a little bit, sitting near the outskirts of the yard as they look at him. Jeremy gives a shrug, a confused look, before noticing that almost everyone had backed away from him and were talking quietly. He whips his head around and locks eyes with Christine. She smiles wide, wider than he’s seen all night, and she gives him a nod before taking another sip of whatever she’s drinking. Panic starts to spread around Jeremy, worried that this was a prank. Was someone about to spill water onto him? Where was Michael, and more importantly, where was Rich? Would they need Mountain Dew Red? Had things gotten bad again? Was that the reason behind the rude prank that he was sure was going to happen?

With another second, Jeremy spots the trademark; Rich’s red streak. He’s sipping his drink, almost trying to hide the large smile on his face. Now that Jeremy notices, everyone is following suit. They all have this playful look in their eyes, almost like he was again—about to be completely punk’d by Michael Mell himself. And then, almost all at once, everyone is telling him to turn around. But he’s not falling for that, he’s not falling for Michael standing right behind him to scare him. No way, not again. Finally, there’s a sound that Jeremy can hear.

“Jeremy?”

It’s from behind him, and he recognizes Michael’s voice. Tensing and almost preparing for the worst, Jeremy starts speaking, justifying his reasoning as he does so: “Michael, I swear to god if you’re—”

And then everything stops. Jeremy’s brain stopped functioning, worse than it had in months. His mouth hung open, drink dropped and now spilling onto the dirt. If it was seeping onto his shoes, Jeremy sure as hell didn’t notice. He wasn’t even sure if he was breathing as Michael stepped out of his line of sight. Jeremy can feel his mouth dry, his hands get sweaty, mind running fast enough that every motion that he’d done felt like a million years long. He wanted to say something, he prayed for something coherent and at least kind of smart to say, something that would be perfect, new, and beautiful. Something that captured everything that had been happening, but it didn’t matter. The silence was filled soon enough.

“Hey.”

It was you.