#it feels good to know people are still finding it and getting joy from it
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tomboy014 · 3 days ago
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But if Batman won't adopt Danny... who will?
Starfire, and she is all over her new little brother!
Shortly after establishing the Teen Titans, Robin (Dick) introduces “Phantom” to the group, because seriously, he’s not introducing him as “Danny.”  Kinda defeats the purpose of a secret identity when you use your name in your superhero moniker.  And shows Phantom his room.
Robin’s actual goal is to get Phantom to join the Titans, but even taking short cuts through the Ghost Zone, Jump City is still a good ways away from Amity Park, and he has parents, so… It’s still a nice gesture and all, and Phantom will come visit, but no.
Still, he’s never met other teens who are heroes in their own right like he is, so he’s excited to meet Robin’s new team.  The other Titans think it’s a little weird for this not-member to have his own room in the Tower, but the place is huge, and Robin trusts him, so it’s fine.  It’s a bit awkward at first as they’re all still getting used to each other, but Phantom quickly makes friends with all of them.
But it’s his friendship with Starfire that grows first and fastest.  As soon as he finds out she’s an alien from another planet, he latches on and must know everything.  Starfire more than welcomes the attention. While she knows the Titans care for her, they’re not always… receptive to the traditions and customs of her culture. Phantom, on the other hand, is enraptured as she tells him about her culture, her holidays, the planets she’s been to, everything.
So she asks if he’d be interested in learning Tamaranean? Yes! 100%! Absolutely! Phantom picks up the language quickly and returns the favor by helping Starfire with her English. While the ability to absorb language through lips is handy, it’s by no means perfect, and Phantom helps her with things like contractions, slang, idioms, etc.
It also helps that after a couple sparring sessions with each other, Phantom and Starfire realize just how durable their partner is.  For Starfire, the people and things on Earth can be so delicate. And for Phantom, if he doesn’t watch himself and hurts a human too badly, it’s just more justification to call him an “evil ghost” that should be ripped apart molecule by molecule. Both are thrilled to finally be able to fight all out again without worrying about the consequences if they lose. And Starfire also uses it to teach Phantom some Tamaranean martial arts for aerial combat so maybe he’ll stop crashing into so many walls.
But what really changes the relationship is the Body Swap incident (not to be confused with the Freaky Friday incident). Similar to what happened with the Puppet King in Switched, Phantom and Starfire switch bodies while fighting an enemy.  Unlike what happened in Switched, Phantom and Starfire and two teen powerhouses with green energy powers triggered by emotions. And the emotional triggers they use are in the same ballpark. Starfire’s “unbridled joy of flight” to fly is very similar to how Phantom revels in the pure freedom of flight he feels. Both get angry when they use blasts. It’s very much a “if you believe in it, you can do it” kind of power set. Starfire can’t really figure out Phantom’s more ghostly abilities like invisibility or intangibility, but they very quickly adapt to each other’s shared powers on the fly during battle.  But there’s one power Starfire wants to use against the hordes of minions that Phantom won’t share the trigger for: the Ghostly Wail.  He tries to tell her it’s not a good move, that it’ll use up too much power, it should only be used as a last resort, it’ll cause too much collateral damage, etc., but Starfire wants to know, and eventually he tells her.
“T-terror… and desperation.”
Starfire rushes to give Phantom the biggest hug ever because those are such horrible feelings, and she doesn’t want to imagine what conditions must have led to him developing such a power because no one should have to feel such feelings. He is right; and that is not a power she needs to use to win this battle.  The minions are defeated, the villain is forced into a temporary retreat, and the Teen Titans return to the Tower to regroup and plan.
However, Starfire doesn’t know how to power through and hold onto Phantom’s ghostly form, and as soon as the adrenaline from the fight wears off, rings of white light spread out of her middle, and Phantom turns back into Danny in the middle of the living room.
But more importantly, everyone needs to get out of the way RIGHT NOW because while Phantom can ignore his biological needs for days, Danny can’t, and Starfire has never had to pee this badly ever in her whole life and everyone needs to MOVE, PLEASE! as she rushes into the nearest bathroom.
Phantom/Danny is now panicking, because even as an alien, he’s pretty sure she’s bound to notice that some bits of male anatomy that should be there are… missing.  He’s begging her, through the door in Tamaranean, not to tell anyone about his secret.  He’s not ready to come out yet, and he’s honestly pretty scared he’s about to lose her friendship, too.  Starfire doesn’t really care. So long as you’re a strong warrior, Tamaraneans don’t care what’s going on in someone’s pants, and she’s just relieved she didn’t have to figure out different plumbing while in his body.  Starfire opens the door.  While she knows that the people of Earth are not always as understanding, Danny need not fear her.  She will not tell anyone he's trans until he is ready to tell them himself and supports him and goes in for a hug.
Except you haven’t washed your hands; gross!  They both laugh it off, but when Starfire goes to wash her hands, the water freezes.  The cold energy in Danny’s core is building, and Starfire doesn’t know how to let it out.  They need to switch back to their own bodies soon, or Danny’s body, and Starfire, might not survive.  A little more training so Starfire can turn back into Phantom, and the Titans are ready for the final act, take down the final villain and Starfire and Phantom are back in their own bodies. 
But after that, Phantom is no longer Starfire’s friend.  Danny is her little brother, and she tells him her name is Koriand’r, or Kor’i for short.
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dissapointu · 3 days ago
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Jinx x Shy and Quiet Reader Headcannons
1. Breaking Through Your Shell
Jinx is all energy, and she thrives on pulling you out of your comfort zone. From the moment she met you, she made it her personal mission to see what makes you tick. If you’re shy or hesitant, she doesn’t take it as rejection—she just sees it as a challenge. “C’mon, don’t be all quiet and mysterious! What’s going on in that head of yours?” she teases, grinning as she pokes your cheek.
2. Affectionately Overwhelming You
Jinx isn’t subtle when it comes to affection, and that includes her interactions with you. She’ll fling herself across the room just to hug you or tug you into her lap, completely ignoring your protests. “What? You’re comfy!” She doesn’t care if you’re blushing or squirming; in fact, she finds it adorable and will only hold on tighter.
3. Talking Enough for Both of You
If you’re shy and quiet, Jinx more than makes up for it by doing all the talking. She’ll ramble about her day, her ideas, and whatever chaos she’s planning next, pausing occasionally to get your reaction. “You’re listening, right? Good, ‘cause I’ve got this amazing plan! Wanna hear it?” Your small responses make her grin, and she always makes you feel like your quiet input matters.
4. Encouraging You to Speak Up
Jinx loves hearing your voice, even if you’re hesitant to talk. She’ll wait for those little moments when you feel comfortable enough to share something and hang on to every word like it’s the most important thing in the world. “Wait, say that again? That was so cute,” she’ll say, smirking as she leans in closer.
5. Protecting You in Her Own Way
Jinx can be a little wild, but she’s fiercely protective when it comes to you. If someone makes you uncomfortable or tries to take advantage of your quiet nature, she’s quick to step in. “Hey, back off, jerk! They’re with me.” She’ll grab your hand and drag you away, grumbling under her breath about how some people have no manners.
6. Playfully Teasing You
Jinx loves teasing you to see your shy reactions. Whether it’s leaning in too close or throwing you a cheeky compliment, she lives for the way you blush or look away. “Aww, are you shy? Don’t be! I think it’s cute!” she’ll say, poking fun but making sure you know she’s just joking.
7. Helping You Feel Safe
As chaotic as she is, Jinx knows how to create a space where you feel comfortable. If she notices you’re overwhelmed, she’ll find a quieter spot for the two of you, offering small reassurances like holding your hand or resting her head on your shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ve gotcha. It’s just us now,” she’ll whisper, her voice softer than usual.
8. Making You Laugh
Jinx is a natural at making you laugh, even when you’re feeling anxious or shy. She’ll pull faces, crack ridiculous jokes, or act out little scenes just to see you smile. “There it is! That’s the laugh I was waiting for!” she’ll exclaim, looking proud of herself every time she manages to get a chuckle out of you.
9. Encouraging You to Be Yourself
Jinx loves you for exactly who you are, and she’ll remind you of that constantly. “You don’t have to be loud or crazy like me,” she’ll say, grinning. “I like you just the way you are. Quiet and all.” She makes it clear that your shy and gentle nature is one of the reasons she adores you.
10. Spontaneous Adventures
Even if you’re shy, Jinx loves pulling you into her spontaneous plans. She’ll try to balance her chaos with what she knows you can handle, though. Whether it’s a quiet walk through Zaun’s alleys or a rooftop picnic where no one else is around, she always makes sure you’re comfortable while still having fun.
11. Endless Encouragement
Jinx is your biggest cheerleader, always hyping you up in her unique way. “You’re so much cooler than you think, you know that? Like, seriously. You’re my favorite person in the whole city!” Even if you’re not sure of yourself, Jinx’s enthusiasm makes you believe in yourself a little more each day.
12. Finding Joy in Your Shyness
Jinx genuinely adores your quiet demeanor because it’s so different from her own. She finds your calmness grounding, and she loves the little quirks of your shy personality. “You’re like my little secret weapon—quiet, sweet, and totally awesome,” she’ll say, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close.
13. Creative Ways to Show Love
Since you’re not always one for big gestures, Jinx finds small, creative ways to show her love for you. She’ll doodle little pictures of the two of you, leave you notes in the most random places, or surprise you with a handmade gadget that’s “totally safe” (you’re not so sure).
14. Soft Moments Amidst the Chaos
Jinx might be chaotic, but when it’s just the two of you, she knows how to slow down and match your energy. She’ll sit close, letting you lean against her as she plays with your fingers or hums a tune. In these moments, you feel like you’re the calm in her storm.
15. Loving You Unconditionally
No matter how shy or quiet you are, Jinx loves you wholeheartedly. She’ll make sure you know how much you mean to her, even if her way of showing it is unconventional. “You’re my favorite person, you know that? Don’t ever forget it.” With Jinx, you never have to pretend to be anything other than yourself.
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carriagelamp · 2 years ago
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thank you for your work translating the cybersix comics!
i just finished the first ten chapters of the french volume 3 collection that you translated. i can't find the last six chapters though. did you wind up finishing the translations for volume 3? either way, thanks again!
Hello! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D
Unfortunately I didn't finish the translation, for a few reasons... I do have another chapter or two translated, but I never got around to formatting and posting them because, tbh, translation can be pretty fun but page formatting is t e d i o u s
My main issue though is that when I started this, I posted it all on a tumblr sideblog. That meant I had actual engagement from people reading it! It was fun! There would be at least a couple people who would come chat every time I updated and I could see from the notes that people were reading and enjoying it! Most people can't read the comics unless they speak Spanish or French or something so I was translating SPECIFICALLY because I wanted to talk to people about the comics!
Then the porn ban happened. I didn't want to risk my other blogs getting killed, so I had to take down all the pages I'd originally posted there (because holy crow the smut is real). I know nekosammsi has preserved them but I just.... couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to keep going after that. I couldn't find another good host website, and it was no fun posting directly into a google drive because... no engagement and it all just became too much work for one person.
I honestly would love to do translation again because it brought me so much joy back when I was doing it, but between the No Where Good To Host and Page Formatting Is A Chore Not A Fun Hobby I just... haven't :( sorry
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idolomantises · 2 years ago
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there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities
#txt#was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn#and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting?#i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings#im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to#overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do#its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice#the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you#still lack#even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is.#and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included)#i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at#such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them#i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own#personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes#people really do find things that they love within them.#anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art#sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on#and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me#but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back#and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit#that it’s all worth it. ya know?
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trees-can-draw · 1 month ago
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Hm.
#vent#tw vent#vent in the tags#screaming in the void#okay so.#I know I don't post regularly#and maybe it's because I switch fandoms a lot but#I just wish my art would be reblogged more#and I know that it's silly and I'm probably being annoying by saying this#but it just feels really discouraging for me to post something and get a maximum of 7 notes - if I'm lucky - most if not all of which#are likes. and don't get me wrong!! I really appreciate the likes! it's good and I'm glad you like my art!!#but this site lives off of reblogs - sharing things that you like onto your own blog so that others who could potentially also like this#can find it and share it perhaps onto their blogs#if there are only likes then nobody else gets to see it and it eventually fades into the background and get lost.#I tried reblogging my own art from a while ago cuz I thought maybe that would help but. it didn't change anything. it's still all likes#if any engagement happens at all. it's frustrating because it makes me feel like what I post isn't worth being shared.#like it's not good enough. which I know! realistically is not the case but! that doesn't stop me from feeling like it#I don't know what I'm trying to say with this. I'm not trying to force anyone or guilt trip them into reblogging#of course not. no one is obligated to do anything I just. wish more people reblogged my art because yea. I *draw* for myself#but I do *post* it with the intention of it being seen and appreciated by others#that it might bring them as much joy seeing it as it did me creating it#I'm just tired#if you've read this far thank you. I really appreciate you. I love you and I hope you have a really good day <3
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dogearedheart · 4 months ago
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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dutybcrne · 7 months ago
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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tachiisms · 2 years ago
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#on like strictly an ooc basis though i know i haven't been here in a while and randomly just popped on to shitpost#'cause laura's post made me laugh (ty! ily!)#but i'm still mostly over on my other blog. i've had a lot going on and like being with my soft girls right now#and also star wars hasn't really been sparking joy recently and it's been making this dash feel claustrophobic in a way idk how else#to really describe? like it's nothing to do with the actual people or characters on this dash it's more just that it's almost all star wars#if that makes any sense at all?#(which is probably stupid because no one really cares about the muses on my other blog so i'm only playing myself here lmao)#(but idc they make me happy and it's fine that they aren't popular)#but i also find that it can be kind of hard to branch out from star wars to get a wider range to rp with on siri#'cause it's mostly just modern type or crossover type verses#and that's been feeling Hard lately just because of the star wars stuff i just mentioned#but i do have a star wars related project with a friend that'll be...sometime upcoming? so i'm hoping that it will spark the joy again#but for now i'm mostly over on my other blog but since i follow a lot of the same people i sometimes see things and pop over here lol#anywhomst if you're at all interested in sigrid from the hobbit or susan pevensie from narnia (or breha who's also star wars)#(idk i'm not having the same problem with breha as siri probably because she's on the multi? anyway back to the point)#then feel free to go follow my other blog which is @viaminvenia but no pressure!! sigrid and susan don't have star wars verses#ily all you're all so talented and such good writers and just *chef kiss* all over the dash#ooc
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pastellmochi · 17 days ago
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#sappuy posting but im really happy ab parali ve … ive never been so happy ab a piece of media before and i could say this ab a lotta media#but it changed my life. as a creative ive been looking for media that would make me this excited and overjoyed when just seeing a picture o#it but literally everything ab this has helped me out so much… i think ab my friend who introduced me to it and all the lovely people i’ve#met through it (hello !!!!! love ygsbyou know who you are) and quarantine and Bus Crash and lockdowns and jus having allen in my headphones#so it was all good and getting me out of artblock and being able to create again. also kenta was ofc the gateway for me to openly selfship#and im so glad im able to be in such a lovely community filled with genuine sweet and kind people. parali ve is just genuinely such a fun#franchise and im happy to see the characters grow and its done so much for me like i feel ive learned to be myself and ive become a person#that i recognize through it if that makes sense i just feel alive and glad to be living and creating and being w others who do like ivemean#to be. im really happy im still alive still listening to parali ve and i can have friends to share joy and excitement with i dont think i#could want anything more than that <333 aside from maybe kenta plushie of this fit.. i want tobury him alive if he told me give me all your#blood i would gladly become a crinkled raisin hes stunning im stealing this outfit from him baggy clothes and prison orange have never#looked soo good why did they handsomemaxx shiki anf kenta. kenta and shiki excellent jawlines high set cheekbones symmetrical wide lower#third positive canthal tilt i will find them and create a wax mold of them and hang their face molds up on my wall shiki would look so good#w his hair slightly parted kinda allen style yanno but also he could be covered in blood i wish they were covered in blood they could wear#like mc steve outfit and still look great i wish i could sew their fingers on my hand we can trade and when they rest their cheek on#their palm it will be me touching their cheek also their unnecessary amount of zippers so silluy … they are so handsome i might put them in#a glass case on display and pick a room where the light hits them perfectly but thatd be hard cause theyre already so perfect i want to sna#their necks and drown them for making me blush and my heart race like this ugh so silly i love them… i love them i love parali ve i love my#moots i love my god i love my country
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teaboot · 24 days ago
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
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yueebby · 1 year ago
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indulge me? — gojo satoru
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synopsis you and gojo go on an overnight mission and it goes wrong in every way
contents so. much. pining. (2.8k words of it!?), one bed trope, whipped!gojo, ooc gojo, completely self indulgent, a lot of cardiovascular talk, they’re first years in this!
notes first time i’ve written in AGES. sorry :3 ps this is a little snippet from a satosugu x reader series im thinking about starting. thoughts?
(edit: i wrote a part ii)
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Gojo Satoru was born blessed. From birth and to death he will always be honored. It wasn't his fault that the Heavens delighted in him. So when Yaga had announced that he and you would be sharing an overnight mission to Kyushu, he nearly leapt in joy (lucky him)!
You, on the other hand, were less than thrilled to find out that you were going to be traveling alone with Gojo Satoru. For two whole days. It was a death sentence.
“Make sure to text me, so I know you're not dead.” Shoko looks between you and Gojo. Either your head will implode as a result of Gojo, or he is gonna be on the receiving end of your wrath. Shoko can’t wait to see which.
“Do take pictures, I heard the onsens there are incredible.” Suguru slyly adds. Satoru perks up at his comment. The two of them share a knowing look before Gojo speaks up.
“Wanna take a dip with me once we get there, [Name]?” He looks into your eyes, his lips are quirked upwards like he’s up to no good (which he is). “I promise I won’t take a peek!” He winks.
“Keep fantasizing, Gojo.”
“Oh I will.” He hums happily. The smile on his lips is kind of cute, you decide. Just a little.
— — — — — — — 
Kurokawa, you come to find out is a very small town in Kyushu. So when people start to go missing, the entire town falls into shambles. Before your trip, Yaga had made it known the enemy you’d be facing. 
“A common denominator of the missing persons is that they were all young women.” He had warned you and Gojo. “It’s an unidentified curse, but I trust that the two of you will be able to handle it.”
Three missing girls. All under the age of 25. Two of which were locals, one being a tourist. 
The moment you arrive on the island of Kyushu, your guard is higher than ever. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Gojo.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of some horny curse,” He looks down at you as the two of you make your way down a small street to your ryokan. Kurokawa was a traditional town, its pride resting on the old culture causing it to be untouched by modern architecture.
Unamused by his nonchalant attitude, you decide to ignore his vulgar comment, “What grade curse do you think we’re up against?”
He makes a noise to show that he’s thinking. “Does it really matter? It’ll be no match for me either way.”
You roll your eyes, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, we still have to figure out what happened to the victims.”
“I don’t see why that’s necessary, but okay.” Your snow haired peer dismisses. It makes you a bit envious that he doesn’t have to ever feel fear for his life. Must be nice.
The two of you arrived at your designated ryokan soon enough, it was a small town after all. Gojo leads the way with you following right after. You can’t discern any cursed energy in the building, but you still make a mental note to ask Gojo about it after you both are situated. 
An elderly lady in an orange kimono stood behind the desk, smiling at you and you returned it back happily.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen a young couple here.” She says. That’s right, with the recent disappearance of young girls, there would be a sudden decrease of tourism around this part of town. “You certainly are a beautiful match!”
You gratefully accept her compliment, “Thank you, but we’re not–”
“Thanks granny!” Gojo wraps a strong arm around your shoulder. “I don’t know how I even managed to win her over!” There’s a wide grin on his face that makes your eye twitch. Leave it to him to tell people the two of you were together. Not only that but he totally disrespected the old lady with his informal talk!
“Unhand me, you!” You forcefully whisper at him, while trying to unwrap yourself from his hold. His arm does not budge even as you try to push it off. What the hell is this boy eating? Gojo chuckles with the old lady while you struggle.
“My, the two of you remind me so much of my husband and I in the days of our youth,” She sighs dreamily. Her age must be interfering with her memory because there was nothing inherently romantic going on between you and Gojo. “How long will you be staying here?”
“Only one night,” Gojo decides that he has tormented you enough and lets you go. He slides her his card and she pulls out something from the old wooden counter she stands behind. 
A single key.
Your eyes bug out. Gojo’s eyebrows raise. You laugh nervously, face feeling warmer than it was thirty seconds ago.
“There must have been a misunderstanding. We need two rooms, ma’am.” You hold up two fingers to emphasize your point. 
The smile on the old woman’s face falls, “I’m afraid I cannot do that.” Your jaw drops.
“Huh? Why not?” You press on further. Surely they could not have been booked out of all of their rooms. Tourism is at an all time low after the strange disappearances.
“I’m sure you’ve heard of the strange disappearances in the area. It’s a miracle the two of you have even decided to stay here, which I am very grateful for. That is why I must repay you back by ensuring your safety. Otherwise I must ask you to leave and stay in the next town because I will not allow you to endanger yourself so carelessly.” 
You blink. Neighboring town? That was hours away. The curse was here in Kurokawa. You can’t afford to jeopardize a mission just because of your own feelings.
Gojo’s hand is halfway to the key, but he waits for your approval. You sigh.
“It’s fine, we can do one. Thank you.” You bow your head. She smiled apologetically as she handed Gojo the key. Gojo, unbothered by the revelation, whistles happily as the lady leads the way to your suite.
— — — — — — — 
operation satoru x [name]!!!!
Gojosatowu added getosugu, shoko.ieiri
Gojosatowu You wont believe it!!! shoko.ieiri What the hell is this gc And what the hell is Operation satoru x [name]?  getosugu  how come [name] isn’t in this? Gojosatowu Ladies, ladies, one question at a time please getosugu  Expect a forehead flick for that comment shoko.ieiri  Stfu and just answer the questions Gojosatowu alright alright [name] and i are sharing a room in kyushu!! i may come out of this mission a changed man. shoko.ieiri  someone make sure [name] is still alive and well Gojosatowu I dont appreciate your lack of faith in me >:( shoko.ieiri  Keep a six feet distance from her at all times perv Gojosatowu I might have to for my own sanity. What do you think she wears to bed? shoko.ieiri  You disgust me sometimes getosugu  Only sometimes? shoko.ieiri  Let me correct myself. You disgust me. Gojosatowu Im feeling the love :(
“What are you giggling to yourself about?” You place a hand on your hips as you watch Gojo smile at his flip phone.
“Oh don’t you worry about it,” He closes it. Weird. “What’s the living situation?”
You sigh. “Despite its traditional arrangement, there is a bed.”
Gojo perks up. “Yeesh I’m glad! If I had to sleep on the floor my back would be all sore right on a mission. Y'know how annoying that is?”
You suck your teeth. “Allow me to rephrase myself. There is only one bed.” 
There is an awful silence in the room, save for your erratically beating heart. Of course the old woman decided to place you in a couple’s suite.  
“Heh.” Gojo chortles happily. “Wow, this must be a divine sign from God Himself. I mean, who are we to ignore this?”
“Don’t start,” You hold out an accusatory finger at him. “I’m gonna go request an extra futon.”
He pouts, “Don’t be like that, sharing a bed with me can’t be that bad.”
“I’m willing to bet otherwise.” You walk past him. The white haired boy watches you go like a sad puppy.
— — — — — — — 
You took your time getting an extra futon, using it as an excuse to get all of the nervousness out of your system of sharing the same room as Gojo Satoru. Sharing a room with a boy was already bad enough, but Gojo? Your heart skipped a beat (out of nervousness, you insist!).
By the time you make it back to the room, the lights are out. You assume that Gojo decided to go to sleep early. You don’t blame him. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day of hunting for the curse rampaging Kurokawa. 
The only light source in the room is coming from the bathroom. You sigh. The idiot must’ve forgotten to turn it off. Nonetheless, you were gonna go get unready either way so you make your way to the half open door.
On the sink is a complimentary toothbrush that you help yourself to. You apply some paste and–
There is a sound of something sliding shut from behind you. You look up at the mirror. Standing behind you was Gojo. Wet. And naked. 
“Oh my gosh!” You spit out your toothpaste and ran out of the room. How did you fail to see that Gojo was in the restroom? You blame it on the sliding doors separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom. Oh my gosh. Your face feels like it’s on fire. He has a six pack. And why does his stupid hair look like that when it's wet? Your heart was beating at an abnormal rate. This is so inappropriate.
Shortly after your freakout, Gojo steps out of the bathroom. There was no way you could face him now.
“Aw, don't be so shy now. It’s not like this will be the last time you’ll see me like this.” Gojo stands in the doorway. There is a towel wrapped around his waist, still leaving him indecent in your eyes.
“I don’t like what you’re insinuating Gojo! And lock the door when you’re in the restroom you creep!” You look anywhere but him.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault, was it? You were taking so long I thought you left me here alone.” You can practically hear him pouting. “Either way, you were the one checking me out.”
Your eyes widen, “I was not checking you out! Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Don’t feel ashamed, this can all be yours,” He gestures down to his body.
“You freak.” you blanch.
He winks at you.
This was going to be a long night.
— — — — — — — 
It takes you about half an hour to calm down from the bathroom catastrophe. By now, you’re situated in your futon while Gojo is tucked on the bed. If you had to guess, it’d be nearing midnight around now. You just need to close your eyes and get some sleep before your mission tomorrow.
Except you can’t sleep.
Every time you close your eyes, your mind betrays you and an image of Gojo post shower illustrates itself in your mind. And it doesn’t help that he sleeps shirtless. You seriously need your mind cleansed.
That wasn’t your only issue. The room was sub zero. Who knew traditional ryokans had such advanced air conditioning systems? All you could hear was the air conditioning machine overworking itself. You could even argue that it was colder than Shoko’s morgue. And your sleep shirt and shorts were doing little to help insulate you. 
“Wanna come cuddle with me?” The last person you wanted to hear from breaks the silence. You pretend to be asleep. “I know you’re not asleep! My six eyes tell me that you’re shivering.” Busted.
“I am not cuddling with you.” You stare at the ceiling above you, arms crossed. How could he even propose such an idea? Has he no shame?
“Well I can’t face the old granny here if my girlfriend ends up dead by freezing!”
“I am not your girlfriend, Gojo. Nor will I die.”
“That’s not what she thinks. Plus we have a mission tomorrow, so I can’t have you getting sick on me now.”
“I’ll be fine, Gojo. Now go to sleep.”
“I run hot when I sleep, y’know. Let me be your personal heater.” You don’t have to see his face to know that he’s grinning.
“I refuse.”
“Well I refuse your refusal.”
You blink.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Now c'mon,” He pats the spot next to him. “I’ll even make a wall in between us.”
You hear the bedsheets shuffle and you have to sit up to see that Gojo was stacking two pillows in the middle of the bed to prove his point. You’re nearly certain that the only thing you’ll be catching soon is a headache if you keep up with his antics. It was a tempting offer, one that you would surely accept if it wasn’t Gojo Satoru.
“Gojo, I—”
“...Please?” His voice is softer than you have ever heard it. It was unfair how Gojo was making it harder and harder to reject his offer.
A silent moment passes by.
“...Fine,” You reluctantly get up from your pathetic excuse of a futon. “But no funny business!” You warn him. 
You see Gojo perk up from the bed. He looks at you with expectant eyes, “You got it!” He gives you a thumbs up. 
Whatever. If Gojo knew what was best for him, he wouldn’t try anything. You take in a deep breath before turning to face the opposite direction of where Gojo laid. 
“Good night [Name],” You hear Gojo whisper. You sigh.
“Yeah, yeah, goodnight Gojo.”
Eyes closed, you pray a silent prayer that everything will be fine for the remainder of the mission.
— — — — — — — 
Ever since Gojo was young, his body has been used to getting little amounts of sleep. Unsurprisingly, that caused him to have a natural alarm. It was always annoying whenever he woke up at the crack of dawn on a day when he didn't need to, but luckily for him, today it proved to be a blessing. There was an unfamiliar warmth radiating onto his body. Satoru opens his eyes.
He thinks he feels all of his six eyes widen when he feels himself wrapped around another body.
There you were, in all your beauty, lying fast asleep. In his embrace. Soft snores were escaping your mouth and there were stray hairs in your face. Did he mention how beautiful you looked sleeping? He might have to ask Shoko about heart disease because of how fast his heart was beating.
Unfortunately for him, you also seemed to be drifting away from dreamland and back to reality. Your eyes flutter and your eyebrows furrow. Gojo takes this to his advantage and does the worst thing he can think of; pretend to be asleep.
When you wake up, your mind is still hazy from the good night’s rest you had gotten, but not hazy enough to realize that your body was tangled with another’s. And you’re pretty sure the pillow you had been laying on last night was not this hard. You try to delude yourself into believing that this is all a dream, but the effects of your sleep were fading.
It takes all the strength in you to summon the courage to open your eyes. To your horror, you were firmly wrapped in Gojo’s arms and your legs were intertwined.
“What the hell?” You pull yourself away from him. On the floor below the bed laid the two pillows that Gojo had set up as a makeshift wall. You stare at them utter shock.
“No, don’t go, I’ll freeze to death,” Gojo whines, miraculously waking up. You glare at him.
“Explain to me what just happened or I swear Gojo, I’m going to–” You try to threaten him, but you can’t seem to formulate anything.
Unlike you, Gojo looked unbothered by the sudden turn of events. He even looked pleased. There was a lopsided smile on his face as he sighed, “What can I say, I guess you subconsciously want me after all.” 
"I do not—"
“But if I had to guess, I’d say the room got too cold and we most likely cuddled for warmth unconsciously.” He shrugs it off like it was no big deal. You note that his hair is tousled from the night before.
You leave the warm bed you and Gojo had made. His theory was probably true, meaning it was neither of your faults. You purse your lips.
“I suppose that makes sense. I apologize for overreacting, I guess I was under the impression that we had done something lewd last night.” With that comment, you make your way to the bathroom to freshen up both your mind and body.
You don’t end up seeing how red Gojo’s face got. It was foreign to feel all the blood rising to his cheeks. He takes one of his hands to slap it over his eyes before chuckling to himself. Yeah, he definitely knows why he likes you. 
All of a sudden Gojo feels like he’s on top of the world. For you, it was just a moment of weakness.
┊⋆。˚. ੈ ┊
Extra notes:
gojo wished he and you got to go to the onsen together. 
gojo also regretted not taking a photo of you sleeping soundly in his arms. it would’ve been his new wallpaper. 
for the remainder of the trip, gojo was at an all time high, successfully locating and exorcising the curse in less than an hour.
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pucksandpower · 3 months ago
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He Wins in Monza
Charles Leclerc x Norris!Reader
Summary: in which Charles wins his second home race, kisses you in front of thousands of people against his better judgement, and pisses off your brother (again) in that order
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The roar of the crowd in Monza is a force of nature, a living thing that pulses with every heartbeat of the race. Charles can still feel it vibrating through his chest, even though the race is over and the engine’s been cut.
He won.
He won in Monza.
Despite starting fourth, despite all the odds — he’s done it.
He throws himself at his team, elation pouring out in yells and whoops as they crowd around him, slapping his helmet, hugging him like they never want to let go.
He doesn’t want to let go either.
This is what they’ve all worked so hard for, what they’ve poured countless hours and sleepless nights into, and here it is — the reward. The trophy is almost within his grasp, and for a moment, it’s all he can think about.
Until he sees you.
You’re standing just outside the McLaren huddle, clapping along as Lando reluctantly acknowledges the crowd from his P3 position. Charles sees it, the way your eyes shine as you watch your brother, but there’s something else there too — something that makes his chest tighten in a way that has nothing to do with the win.
You’re proud of Lando, sure, but when your gaze shifts and locks with his, it’s like the world stops spinning.
His breath catches. It’s the same look you gave him last night, when you whispered “good luck” in the dark, your fingers tracing the curve of his jaw like you were trying to memorize him. The same look you gave him when you first admitted that maybe, just maybe, you were falling for him. The same look you gave him every time he stole a glance at you during those secret moments, hidden away from the world.
It’s too much, too fast. He should be thinking about the podium, about the ceremony, about not giving anything away, but the way you’re looking at him — he forgets all of it.
Before he knows what he’s doing, Charles is pushing past his team, the thrill of victory still pumping through his veins. The only thing he can think about is getting to you, of pulling you into his arms and kissing you senseless in front of everyone because what does it matter anymore?
He won. You’re here. Everything else is just noise.
“Charles!” One of the engineers calls after him, but his voice is drowned out by the crowd. Charles is barely aware of the weight of his helmet in his hand, of the sweat still cooling on his skin. He’s aware of you, only you, and the way your eyes widen just a fraction as you realize what he’s about to do.
“Charles, don’t-” you start, your voice barely audible over the chaos, but it’s too late. He’s already there, his free hand finding yours like it was made to fit, and he’s tugging you forward, into him.
The world tilts, and suddenly, you’re chest-to-chest, his breath mingling with yours as he leans in. There’s a moment, just a split second, where everything hangs in the balance, where he could still pull back and save you both from the fallout.
But then your fingers tighten around his, and he’s gone, lost in the warmth of your mouth, in the softness of your lips that taste like everything he’s ever wanted.
The kiss is electric, a jolt of pure, unfiltered joy that sparks from his lips and spreads through his entire body. It’s the kind of kiss that makes time stop, that makes everything else fade into the background. The cheers, the cameras, the thousands of eyes on you — none of it matters. All that matters is the way you’re kissing him back, your hands slipping up to cup his face, holding him close like you’re afraid he might disappear.
When he finally pulls back, it’s only because he has to breathe, his forehead resting against yours as he tries to catch his breath. “I couldn’t wait,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion. “I had to … I had to …”
You’re looking up at him with a mixture of disbelief and something else — something softer, warmer. “You’re an idiot,” you breathe, but there’s no heat in it, just affection, deep and unshakeable. “We’re supposed to be keeping this a secret, remember?”
“Can’t,” he says, shaking his head slightly, his nose brushing against yours. “Not when you’re looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m the only one in the world.”
You huff a laugh, but it’s shaky, like you’re holding something back. “Charles, you just won in Monza. You are the only one in the world right now.”
“No,” he says, his voice soft but certain. “No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all.”
Your eyes search his, and he knows you’re trying to figure out what he means, trying to understand why he threw caution to the wind. He doesn’t know how to explain it, doesn’t know how to put into words the way you make him feel. How you make everything else fade away, how you’re the only thing that matters in a world that’s constantly spinning out of control.
“Charles,” you start, but the sound of Lando’s voice cuts through the moment, sharp and incredulous.
“What the hell is this?”
Charles stiffens, his hand still wrapped around yours, and he turns to find Lando staring at the two of you like he’s just been slapped. There’s a mix of confusion and anger on his face, his eyes darting between you and Charles as he tries to make sense of what he’s seeing.
“Lando, I-” you begin, but Lando’s not having it.
“How long?” He demands, his voice tight with the effort of keeping it together. “How long has this been going on?”
Charles opens his mouth to answer, but you beat him to it, your voice steady even as your hand trembles slightly in his grip. “A few months,” you admit, and Charles can feel the weight of those words, the way they hang in the air between the three of you.
“A few months?” Lando repeats, incredulous. “And you didn’t think to tell me? Either of you?”
“Lando, I wanted to, I swear, but-”
“But what? You thought it’d be fun to keep me in the dark?” Lando’s voice rises, and Charles can see the hurt behind the anger, the betrayal that’s twisting his features. “You’re my sister. And you-” He turns on Charles, his eyes blazing. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“I am,” Charles says quickly, his voice earnest. “I am your friend, Lando. This … this wasn’t meant to hurt you.”
“Then what was it meant to do?” Lando shoots back, his frustration palpable. “Because right now, it feels a hell of a lot like betrayal.”
You flinch at the word, and Charles feels it like a punch to the gut. He takes a step forward, his free hand reaching out toward Lando. “Lando, listen-”
“No,” Lando snaps, stepping back out of reach. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear any of it.” He runs a hand through his hair, his chest heaving as he tries to get a grip on his emotions. “I just … I need a minute, okay? I need to think.”
There’s a moment of silence, thick with tension, and then Lando turns on his heel and walks away, leaving you and Charles standing there, the weight of what just happened settling in.
Charles squeezes your hand, his heart pounding. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice raw. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“I know,” you interrupt, your voice soft but firm. “I know.” You turn to face him, your eyes searching his. “But we have to deal with this now. We can’t just … ignore it.”
He nods, the reality of the situation sinking in. The euphoria of the win is fading, replaced by the cold, hard truth. Lando knows. The secret’s out. And now, there’s no going back.
“What do we do?” Charles asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
You take a deep breath, your hand slipping out of his so you can cup his face, your touch grounding him in a way that nothing else can. “We talk to him,” you say, your voice steady despite everything. “We explain. And we hope he understands.”
Charles nods again, leaning into your touch, letting it soothe the anxiety that’s bubbling up inside him. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Yeah, we’ll talk to him.”
You smile, but it’s tinged with sadness, and it breaks his heart a little. “This wasn’t how I wanted him to find out,” you admit, your thumb brushing against his cheekbone. “But we’ll get through it. We have to.”
Charles closes his eyes, letting the warmth of your touch chase away the cold fear that’s gripping him. “I love you,” he says, the words slipping out before he can stop them.
He feels you freeze for a moment, and his heart skips a beat as he realizes what he’s just said. But then your hand tightens on his face, and when he opens his eyes, you’re looking at him with a softness that makes his chest ache.
“I love you too,” you whisper, and it’s like everything else falls away, leaving just the two of you in this moment, in this space.
He leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, his heart swelling with emotions he can’t quite name. When he pulls back, his eyes search yours, and he finds the strength he needs there — steady, unwavering.
“We’ll get through this,” you say again, your voice a quiet promise.
He nods, his heart settling back into a steady rhythm. “Together,” he whispers, a small, determined smile tugging at his lips.
You smile back, and in that moment, with the chaos of the world swirling around you, Charles knows one thing for certain: as long as he has you by his side, everything else will fall into place.
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magpie-trinkets · 2 months ago
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(writing my brain stew on here because tags are difficult. also spoilers. also i haven't finished azran legacy so I don't know how much that plays into this)
This is difficult, because it's both for me. Like a tragicomedy, a contradiction, a puzzle itself borne from his very existence.
Because on the one hand, it's a sort of joy. That he carries these people around with him, that he cares so much he adopts parts of them into his life. We are ourselves but we are also the people we surround ourselves with. It's a joy that these people live through him and that he's happy, carrying them around. The pieces he has found for himself fit him, and they never seen to have jagged edges that make him hurt or be contradicting. He's a gentleman archeologist, a professor, a smart man with a good heart. There's joy in the person he has become, a successful person that everyone loves, everyone looks up to. There's joy in the genuine good heart of him, of helping others and caring a lot about them. There's joy that he can be kind even to enemies, that he can reach out and understand. He's a joy.
But it's a tragedy, too. A very sad tragedy, because these pieces of him are there because of grief. He carries them and can't let go of these people that influenced him, that he loved, that left and left him empty. To fill that gap, he carried their dreams with him. With Randall, he was just an average teenager. He had friends, he didn't want anything to do with puzzles or archaeology, he just followed Randall around. When Randall finally pressured him into going deeper into the ruins, he lost his friend. He decided to carry on his dream of becoming an archaeologist and liking puzzles, because that was what he had left from him. When he met Claire, she bought him that hat as a gift, and told him he looked like a gentleman – he probably expressed a desire to become one once. When she was gone, all that was left was thay hat, and he became a gentleman.
Thus, all he is, a puzzle lover, an archeologist, a gentleman, all these vital pieces that shape his life come from people he can't let go of. And maybe he shouldn't, maybe forgetting isn't the answer. Because these people were influential to him, and he has to accept he'll live with the grief their disappeareances caused. He has to accept that he can let go a little, maybe soften the grip, but not release it altogether. He can meet new people thay will leave their pieces on him too.
And he isn't just a gentleman professor. He has other facets, other traits that are probably his own! He isn't just made of other people, he is a person. He loves his car, he's a bit of a father, he loves music, he doesn't do his job, he has a hidden sense of humour, he's sympathetic, he likes tea and candy and loves the drama of revealing the answer to a mystery when it's more, well, dramatic.
So, on the one hand, it's a joy that he's become this messy, human but wonderful man, but it's a tragedy he reached this point through coping mechanisms and unhealthy repression of grief, that what makes him whole is pieces left after being abandoned by someone. And even if Randall is still alive, he came too late, when Layton had already gotten too deep into archaeology, a subject he genuinely likes now! And we don't know if Randall is in jail for all the stuff he did, and how in touch are they now.
So it depends how you look at the glass of water, is it half-full or half-empty? As a character, ofc. Because it's a joy he is what he is, he's a fun character to analyse, read and poke fun at, he's a kind, heroic character everyone else loves in canon, but he also reached this point through unholy amounts of suffering. He is still suffering, he hasn't really moved on, because if he does he may forget them, and lose what he is.
So, um, it's a good outcome that eas reached through a lot of bad. He does a lot of good, and he generally looks good and happy and content with the life he has, he has made good of the lot he has been thrown, but it's also all the bad he keeps close, all the bad he has allowed himself to cling to. It's probably scary for him. What if one day he starts taking off the hat? It's become part of him. Will he stop being a gentleman? Will the façade break? Will everyone else see him for the mess he is? Will they abandon him, too? Will he forget Claire? Does this mask he wears give him power or stifle him?
Ejem.
THERE'S A TAG LIMIT OF 30 TAGS I'M LOSING MY SHIT
Inspired by this tlt poll: https://www.tumblr.com/whoopseydaisy/730772080893755392/paul-is-a-joy-a-tragedy
#also i know a bit of what happens in azran legacy through osmosis#and i know that hershel isn't his name. but it IS too. he has made it HIS. it's a symbol that he is loved. it's HIS name.#even if he doesn't know it. he didn't suddenly adopt a personality#he was raised as a layton and has lived all his life as a layton. that's who he is#aslo um. i think tragedy? but it's a beautiful tragedy because there's joy in the end#it feels wrong to call him a tragedy because he brings so much joy#but does he bring joy to himself? has he felt joy?#is he happy? can we ever know? can luke (our pov) see if he is?#because he sometimes throws concerning lines of dialogue#are the laughs the smiles the enjoyment he gets from mysteries and being around friends real?#one must imagine layton happy#again it feels wrong to vote 'tragedy' but all the evidence points to it. i vote both#not because having pieces of other people in you is a tragedy#but the way this pieces came to him. through loss and pain. it's the means rather than the end#because if neither Claire nor Randall “died” and he still adopted those traits there wouldn't be any tragedy#Randall's enthusiasm helped him see what was awesome about archeology. his relationship with Claire#might've blossomed into him naturally becoming a gentleman and maybe a father#but they left violently. it was this pain what made layton into what he is today#he might've become an archeologist. he didn't have any ambition and randall may have sparked the interest#and he might've pursued it and he might've come to love it too.#and it would've been a perfectly good way of finding a passion! sometimes you find passions yourself#sometimes other people's enthusiasm nudge you towards enjoying something#but the way it happened for layton. idk. randall didn't really make a good case for himself#with all the pressure and danger and carelessness of youth. and the tragedy of the fall#layton became an archeologist not bc randall had enough time to nudge him with pure enthusiasm#but because he felt a debt to his friend to continue his dream#he had started to see the joys of archeology through their expedition but he wasn't completely sold over#so uh. tragedy i think is my final answer. again if i could i would vote both#i might revisit this thought after azran legacy#also sorry to hear you're sick!!! i hope you get better soon <3
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slttygeto · 1 year ago
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SLOWLY LOVING YOU — SUGURU GETO.
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જ⁀➴ synopsis: Before Yaga introduces you to the third years, Suguru is a little unsure of you joining them. And then he meets you, and suddenly his heart doesn’t know how to slow down.
જ⁀➴ content warning: fem!reader, reader gets a few cuts and faints, swearing and a lot of fluff.
જ⁀➴ word count: 4,2k
જ⁀➴ note: thank you to the sweet @duhsies for commissioning me! I had so much fun writing it<3!!
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“Yaga says there’s a newcomer,” Satoru had a habit of speaking with a mouthful, which Suguru really hated. A hand is smacking the back of the white haired’s head who hisses at the contact before glaring at his best friend.
“Hey!” He protests, his sunglasses resting at the tip of his nose.
“Swallow your food.” Suguru presses, taking a sip from his drink. He had heard long ago from Yaga about this newcomer, and wasn’t really sure how to feel about it. It’s not that he wasn’t good with new people (he wasn’t), but he felt like it was a little odd to transfer someone and have them be with him, Shoko and Gojo right away. They had to have a good cursed technique, a great control of their cursed energy, otherwise they’d just get in the way of everything and—ouf, this was too negative.
Who was he to judge? Sure, a part of him was skeptical, but he was trying to awaken the other side that usually reassures him that everything will turn out just fine.
“I wonder if it’s guy or a girl,” Satoru speaks again, and this time (surprisingly) he swallows his food before opening his mouth. Suguru shrugs at his best friend, grabbing a fry from his tray of food.
“It won’t really change much, I just hope they’re good at what they do,”
“Oh Suguruuu,” Gojo whines at his friend’s negativity, pushing him but not too hard. “Don’t be such a kill joy, I’m pretty sure that they’re good. Otherwise, Yaga wouldn’t look so excited.”
“Why are you the one telling me to be nice?” The black haired male raises an eyebrow, carefully picking out a fry that didn’t have ketchup on it.
“You rubbed off on me,” Satoru wiggles his eyebrows to which Suguru rolls his eyes at.
“Don’t.” Suguru presses, but it’s too late to stop his friend’s funny joke.
“That’s a little fruity—“
“Finish your food.”
When they head back to the school grounds after having lunch, they’re pleasantly surprised when they find Yaga, Shoko and an unknown girl standing near one of the school buildings. From the looks of it, you weren’t that nervous. Sure, you were checking out your surroundings as the school was new, but nothing about your demeanor suggested that you were anxious. Not even a little.
Suguru raises his eyebrows at this, and although he tries not to stare too hard at you, Gojo is quick to notice it and nudges him with an elbow.
“Hey, think that’s the new girl?”
“I mean, it looks like it,” Suguru mumbles a response and stops walking when Yaga starts to approach them.
“You finally decided to show up,” Oh, an ass-whooping is on the way.
“The mission took us way too long,” it’s Satoru who tries his luck as his usual, and the grin on his face draws a similar one on Suguru’s lips.
“Yeah, but we managed to get it done with. That’s all what matters,” if it wasn’t for Satoru’s love to piss off their teacher, Suguru is sure that he wouldn’t bother. But it’s fun, and it gives the students something to laugh about.
You watch the scene unfold before you and you raise your eyebrows at how easy going the pair standing in front of you was. Did they not fear Yaga? You had been introduced to the man a couple of weeks ago before you were transferred to the school, and despite the comforting vibe the man had, you still felt like you owed him some sort of respect.
Something the two guys bickering with their teacher seemed to lack. Or maybe it was just an act.
Yaga gives the two guys a comical smack to the back of their heads and you hear Shoko snicker next to you. You fight back a smile of your own, until you feel Shoko pat your back, almost in reassurance.
“You can laugh, they won’t be offended.” You relax at this, and before you could even say anything in response, Yaga is clearing his throat to get your attention.
“You can introduce yourself,” oh, he’s talking to me. You’re suddenly aware of the three pairs of eyes fixated on you, and you fidget nervously.
“Hello, my name is (name) and I’m—“
“That’s boring!” The white haired male cuts you off, and your eye twitches. Well, that’s offensive. Before you could even glare at him, he’s approaching you while taking off his sunglasses and your heart stills at the sight. Those eyes felt like they were staring into your soul.
“Show us your technique, that’s a much more interesting way to introduce yourself,” your body relaxes at this, and you can see Yaga signaling you to go along with what your classmate was saying.
“Oh, okay then,”
Suguru’s eyes are cat-like as they fixate on you. You get in position to show off your technique and suddenly, everything goes quiet. He could feel the energy shift when you stepped away from them, and so he was anticipating a big show. Perhaps, you were a show-off like Gojo.
Suddenly, the air feels a little different—why is it wet? He touches his skin to make sure he wasn’t imagining things, and before he could even process things, fog had engulfed him entirely. This was new.
You were nowhere to be seen, maybe that was your technique—a little weak, Suguru thought. But it felt like you read his mind because right in front of him was standing a carbon copy of himself. A clone.
“What the—“ The clone stands still as Suguru gets into a fighting position, ready to unleash a weak curse at it, but the clone is quick to do the same and releases a different curse—the clone knew about his technique?
Before things could escalate further, he heard a snap of fingers from behind him and his eyes widen when the fog and the clone both disappear at once. You were standing right behind him. Being so focused on the fact that what was standing in front of Suguru was a literal doppelganger, he failed to notice you sneak up behind him. He assumed that you snapping your fingers was to deactivate your technique, but it was also a realization that you made him so unaware of his surroundings—and that was the beauty of your technique.
Everyone looks amused by Suguru’s confused expression. He was staring you right in the eye, and your confidence and the relaxed expression painting your face would normally sned shivers down anyone’s spine. It was awkwardly silent for a few moments before Gojo decides to break the silence.
“That was rather impressive, wasn’t it?” Shoko agrees with her classmate, clapping almost ceremoniously. Yaga steps away from the two to approach you and Suguru who was still staring at you, this time with less resentfulness. Sure, he hated having someone sneak up behind him. And the fact that you had chosen him out of the three felt a little strange, but he tried not to overthink it.
Maybe it’s because I looked like a bitch.
He immediately brushes off the thought when you flash him an unapologetic smile, the confidence you gave off a few moments ago replaced with something he couldn’t quite decipher—were you getting shy?
His lips part almost in shock at the way your cheeks are slightly pink, and you take two steps back and away from him before apologizing out loud.
“Sorry, I just thought you looked a little bored.”
Oh, not anymore.
“That to you, is a Grade 1 sorcerer.” Yaga announces very proudly. Usually, Grade S sorcerers would be the one to be introduced like this—with so much pleasure and honor. But Yaga didn’t care about that. He saw potential in you and embraced it like you were his top student.
Geto couldn’t shake off the giddy feeling in his chest. He watched as Satoru came over to your side and ruffles your hair, promising that you were going to have a good time at school because he was there. And you played along, the playful expression you wore on your face not matching the blush on your cheeks—you were just easily flustered having this much attention on you.
“What do you say, Suguru?” He snaps out of his thoughts at the mention of his name, and he finds his best friend staring at him with those eyes. He caught him looking at you, didn’t he?
“Sorry, I zoned out.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but he wasn’t going to say that you seemed so interesting that he found himself so lost in his thoughts. He didn’t like this, he didn’t like how you seemed so unaware of the fact that you were breaking down his walls one by one, and all of this happening in less than an hour of meeting you? Unbelievable.
“I said, we are all gonna get along so well, right?” Glancing at you, he notices how you seem to shift your attention back to him the moment his name is mentioned. You’re almost eager to find out what he has to say next, sparkly eyes and a tight lipped smile making you look so fucking adorable—oh fuck, no.
“Yeah, we will.”
He was officially and totally fucked.
--
It’s been a few months since you officially transferred to Jujutsu high, and things were going great. You felt like you fit in so perfectly, you were a bit nervous that you would be a burden since the trio seemed to have a dynamic of their own, being the one to ruin the dynamic—or worse, feel left out would just be the highlight of your school year. But they were so nice. Each in their own way.
While Gojo felt like a troublesome sibling with his many pranks and jokes, Shoko truly felt like a close friend. You could crack jokes with her, share food and even watch movies during the weekend. The friendship you shared with both seemed very genuine and you were so grateful for that.
And then there was Geto.
Suguru Geto, tall and handsome, with long dark luscious hair and cat-like eyes. A smile that seemed precious since it appeared way less than you would want. A voice that felt like he was purring in your ear and a personality that had your heart stuttering in your chest.
He had caught your eye the moment you saw him walk on the school grounds. You tried not to make your tiny crush on the man obvious right away, but it felt like you blew your cover when you chose him as your target when asked to show off your technique.
Things weren’t exactly bad between you and the tall male, but they weren’t that good either. There an awkwardness that always lingered when you were both left alone, your heart would beat so fast and so incessantly when you felt his eyes on you before he places a piece of his chocolate on your desk.
“Was gonna share it with Satoru, but he pissed me off today.” You’re almost shocked that he’s even addressing you when neither Shoko nor Satoru were in the classroom.
“Are you sure? He does like sweets,” you still grab the sweet treat and place it in your mouth, to which he chuckles at.
“Well, you ate it immediately. Seems like you don’t care.”
“Well, he did piss me off too today,” you’re grinning, playing with the wrap of the chocolate. Suguru raises his eyebrows at your remark and continues to tease you.
“Was it another joke about how bad his clone was? I mean he’s not entirely wrong—“
“Stooop,” you groan out, resting your head on your desk in defeat. You were too embarrassed about the recent incident, and no one seemed to want to let go of it.
Rather than being embarrassed that his clone was that ugly, Gojo’s sudden and quick realization that your clones had an immediate link to your photographic memory lit up a bulb at the top of his head. And so the teasing began.
How come Suguru’s was so accurate on day one!
Do you have something to share with the class?
It was horrible, and you remember how Yaga had to smack the white haired male in the back of his head to get him to stop. He caught onto your little crush on Suguru faster than you had anticipated, but you were glad that when asked what he was teasing you about, Satoru chose to save you the embarrassment and just say that his clone was so ugly, you needed more practice.
“I just need more practice,” you say, a little muffled from having your face in your arm. Suguru stares at you for a few moments from his seat, then he suddenly gets up and walks towards you. He crouches down in front of your desk and you quickly raise your head in question.
“Hm?”
“You don’t hate me, right?” He could’ve asked that question from his desk, he knows that. But it would’ve seemed a little cowardly cause he knows he would avoid looking you in the eyes. But eye contact was important when communicating things, and right now was one of the few moments where Suguru felt like he was going to pee his pants waiting for an answer.
“Hate you?”
“I’m aware that hate is a big word—it’s a strong feeling too, but I just need to know if you feel that way about me.” Suguru was supposed to feel stupid, maybe a little insane for asking you something like this. But he noticed how things always got quiet when it was just you two alone. It didn’t necessarily mean you hated him, but a part of him wanted to make sure you didn’t resent him for mysterious reasons.
“I don’t hate you,” you pause your words, and Suguru watches as your face slightly reddens as you avoid his eyes. “Uh, just nervous.”
Now, why did I say that? It’s one thing to know that he makes you feel this way, but it’s another when you fully admit it to him and watch as he raises both of his eyebrows, almost in shock.
“Nervous?” At first, he’s scared that the word has a bitter taste to it—but it slowly dissipates when he sees the blush on your face darken because why did he have to say it like that.
It sounded like he was saying it for the first time, carefully tasting each letter and syllable. You felt nervous around Suguru.
“You are kind of intimidating,” the small smile painting your lips eases Suguru’s nerves despite having another word describe him. But he’s heard this one before. In fact, he likes it. He likes the way it makes him feel, the ego boost it gives him when he sees people quiver in his presence.
But he didn’t want to have this kind of effect on you. You didn’t need to fear him or avoid his eyes for him to know that he was a powerful sorcerer—he wanted you to feel safe with him. He wanted to rid you of any problem weighing you down, have that smile on your lips for a long time. Whatever Suguru felt for you, he was coming to terms with it and accepting it.
Slowly that is.
“If I’m intimidating, then is Yaga like a monster to you?” Suguru teases you back, and he stands up from his crouching position. He stares down at you with a grin, his sharp eyes making eye contact with your own bright ones. A contrast like this looked so endearing.
“Yes.” You don’t hesitate as you reply, and Geto immediately bursts into laughter at this.
“Wow, you didn’t even hesitate.” Wow, I made him laugh.
“But he is scary! I mean, he’s very nice… but I don’t think I’d wanna piss him off like Gojo does,” you mumble the last part, but Suguru hears you loud and clear.
“Satoru pisses off everyone, so you’re safe.”
Having a conversation like this with Geto felt nice. It wasn’t that often that you two chatted or even had the time to sit down and give each other normal classmate updates. So to be able to talk to him like this, make him laugh until his stomach hurts before walking to your dorms felt new. But you weren’t complaining.  
--
Over the last few months, you’ve gone on a couple of missions with both Suguru and Satoru. They were all successful, and you always got done with them in half of the time.
But today was different. You were going on a mission with Suguru.
Yaga mentioned how you both seemed to work really well together, and while Suguru might’ve been stronger than you, you had so much potential that couldn’t get wasted. Suguru seemed like the perfect fit for a partner and a sort of mentor.
The mission was going to take place in another city, which is why you find yourself on the train with the tall male who was trying to get some sleep.
Sitting across from each other, you couldn’t help but steal a few glances at the guy. He looked too good from this angle, you could feel your body tingling in embarrassment.
The guy’s just trying to sleep
Over the last few months, no matter how hard you tried to brush your feelings for Suguru, they resurfaced not only a day later when he did something that would make your heart stutter in your chest. You remember him making you food when you were sick, giving you his scarf when you got too cold, suggesting to style your hair for you—how could you not fall for him?
But you were terrified of rejection. You were scared that those feelings could potentially ruin the friendship between you two, and God knows how horrible that would make you feel.
“We’re there,” you were so lost in your thought, that you didn’t feel the train stop. Only Suguru’s hand on your shoulder was able to snap you out of it.
“Oh sorry,” you stand up and make your way out of the train with Suguru following close behind.
“Did you manage to get some sleep?” He asks from behind you, and you slow down your pace to match his footsteps before shaking your head.
“Not really, I wasn’t that tired.”
“Oh but you will be after the mission, that’s always how it is.” He was referring to the many times you and Gojo would end up falling asleep on each other on the way back home, and he would secretly take pictures of the white haired male drooling on your hair to show it to you when you both wake up.
“Thank god he’s not here to drool on my hair,” you say with a hint of annoyance, but it’s harmless.
“Oh, you never know,” the playfulness to his voice makes you roll your eyes, but the smile on your face gives away that you were anything but annoyed.
You arrive to said location after ten minutes of walking. And at first sight, it seemed like any normal abandoned building; a little creepy, no color painting its exterior and most importantly lifeless. But the smell—god, the gut wrenching smell that came from it made you cringe.
“God, it smells horrible.”
“Then we’re at the right place.” Suguru is the first one to walk in, and you follow close after. You take careful steps, eyes darting around the area to scan it for any clues.
“I have a horrible feeling about this,” you mumble to yourself. You knew you were sent to this place to find the source of its gloominess, but the farther you walked down the hallway, the tighter your stomach got.
“It was an orphanage.” Your heart sinks at the revelation, watching the old toys scattered on the floor, filled with dirt and dust. You could only imagine what happened to the kids.
The room is silent for a few moments before both of you and Suguru stand still. Almost on guard.
“Do you feel it?”
“Yeah, I do.” Whatever took over this place was huge. It didn’t necessarily feel like a strong or dangerous curse, but the way it was staring at you from down the hall had you standing in a fighting position.
Before you could even process the fact that you were dealing with that big curse, it charges at you—and fast.
It’s too fast for its size!
Mist engulfs the creature almost immediately, it would only serve as a distraction for a little bit before it would rage even more and decide to charge at you.
“Go hide, I’ll take care of it.” You watch as Suguru calls in two of his powerful curses, both enough to do the job. But you don’t want that.
You don’t want him to do the job on his own, or worse hide while he does everything. It wasn’t why you became a sorcerer, why you chose to even join the school. And so you stood still, grabbing one of the daggers attached to your thigh. You ignore Suguru’s cries telling you to step away from the huge curse.
“You’re gonna get killed if you don’t move!”
“Shut up!” The mist slowly morphs into something else—something Suguru has never seen you done before. It shapes itself into a beautiful scenery, one where flowers are blooming and the sun is shining and—he was hallucinating.
And so was the curse. The technique might’ve not been the most powerful, but it still managed to blind the curse for a few moments. You fill your sharp dagger with cursed energy before slicing it open in one swift motion. It’s messy and sloppy, and blood covers your clothes and the floor like a paint. You stand still and stare in awe at what you’ve just done.
I killed a huge curse on my own!
What you fail to see is the multiple cuts on your body, and how all color leaves your face as exhaustion washes over you. Shit, you were passing out.
The last thing you remember hearing is Suguru calling your name before everything goes silent.
--
Suguru is a mess. That was the only word that could accurately describe the state of the poor guy as he paced back and forth in front of your dorm room. No matter how much Gojo tried to convince him that you were okay, he refused to budge.
He was mad at you. You were so reckless back there, refused to listen to him when he asked you to move—he was filled with all kinds of emotions.
And so when Yaga finally gives him the green light to visit you, the first thing he does is scold you.
You’re sitting up in your bed with bandages wrapped around your body, and you look so tired. But despite all of that, you still manage to flash him a warm smile when he walks inside your room and closes the door behind him.
“Yaga told me I was passed out for two days, I hope I didn’t worry you—“
“What you did was reckless.” Suguru cuts you off, voice sharp and cold that you flinch. Your eyes stare at your lap, avoiding his because he was right. You were reckless, refused to listen to him and powered up your technique faster than your body could handle.
“I know,” you don’t apologize. A part of you wants to, but you were still going to stand your ground if he tried to guilt trip you about the situation.
“And I was very mad,”
“I know.”
It’s silent for a few moments, and Suguru takes in how despite the tears blurring your vision, you refuse to give in and apologize about anything.
“But that’s only because you scared me to death,” he hears you sniffle, and he sees you blink away the tears before staring at him in shock. Suguru takes a few steps towards you, and for a moment you see the hesitation in his action. He quickly brushes it off as he gently rests his hand on your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek.
“You have no idea how terrifying that was.” Your heart starts racing at his words, and his touch left a tingling feeling behind when he pulled away to pat your head.
“I don’t want you to do that again, but I gotta admit,” he ruffles your hair, the scowl on his face morphing into a soft expression.
“That was really cool,” your smile is on your lips almost immediately at his words, and you take your hand and wrap it around his wrist. You pull his hand down and place it again on your face, a bold move that has the both of you slightly blushing.
“You think I’m cool?” your voice sounds sweet when you ask the question, and Suguru thinks he’s never heard you sound like this before but he nods anyway.
“The coolest.”
Neither of you move or say a thing after this, but the prolonged eye contact had the tall male leaning down a bit hesitantly at first, making sure you were okay with it. So when you pull him closer and place your lips on top of his, Suguru is convinced that it was the right thing to do.
The kiss is short and sweet. You pull away after a few seconds and the blush on your cheeks spreads across your entire face when he leans in to give you another kiss. Then another and another.
“Sugu—“
“Shhh, you look cute when you’re flustered.”
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2023 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.
7K notes · View notes
fallow-hollow · 7 months ago
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five stages of grief
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…ft! kabru x gn! oblivious! reader
…tags! pining, confession, kabru is a bit of a freak about this, oblivious reader, reader is an adventurer
…word count! 2671
…notes! spreading my kabruganda to the masses!!! kabru is my me so I very much enjoy writing him
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denial
At first, Kabru was so convinced that there was something behind your happy-go-lucky exterior.
You were so skilled in the dungeon, able to make it down to floors that even he hadn’t traversed yet. So you must have a good grasp on tactics, not only in battle, but also when socializing! Yes, maybe you read people expertly when they’d respond in kind to your friendly behavior…..
During the stage where you’re acquainted but don’t know much about each other personally, he spends so long crafting theories about what’s going on inside your head.
His party members get sick of hearing about it halfway through the second week.
Once you meet again in person, he’s ecstatic to have an opportunity to take a closer look at your inner workings. His words and mannerisms are calm and purposeful, but there is a certain spark in his eyes, almost trying to illuminate your thoughts and feelings with its shine.
Over the course of the conversation, Kabru starts getting a bit confused at his lack of new findings about you. It takes you saying something particularly damning for him to finally reach the dreaded conclusion.
“I don’t usually run into you in places like this.”
Kabru had encountered you one evening after exiting his room and seeing you and a few party members at the bar. It was nothing short of a strike of luck, and most certainly not him deliberately staying home that evening because he’d overheard your plans to go out.
“Hm?” You perked up, looking at him with a blank expression that was quickly replaced with a kind smile. Even trying to look closely, he couldn’t find anything present in your face except for a simple joy.
He would approach you with long strides, placing one hand on the back of your chair as to be friendly and intimate, but not so intimate as to make you recoil from a touch. The wink he gave you was with the eye facing away from the others on the opposite side of the table, ensuring most of them wouldn’t notice his flirtatious gesture.
“Want me to buy you a drink?”
Immediately, you raised one hand in polite refusal, your smile turning into more of a sheepish one. “Oh, I don’t know if I’d be able to pay you back. I wasn’t going to splurge much tonight anyway….”
As you talked, Kabru pulled up a free chair and sat down, a gesture that cemented himself in the conversation and setting. He noticed when he sat down in the middle of conversation, it made people less likely to turn him away than if he were still standing.
“No, no.” when he shook his head, his dark curls did a swishing movement. Once he looked back at you, he gave a half-lidded smile, only a tinge sultry in hopes you’d pick up his hints. “Your company is more than enough payment for me.”
Your party could only stare on with absolute pity as you waved your previously raised hand dismissively, giving what Kabru could only assume was a reassuring nod. Why did you think he needed reassured….? What did you think he meant?
“It’s completely fine, no need to be polite! We’re beyond such niceties at this point, I’d say. After all, I consider us to be at least a little bit friends, right? You don’t need to buy me a drink just to hang out!”
For a brief period, Kabru felt as if his whole world was spinning around him, before then shattering at the unknowing sledgehammer of your words. These statements and mannerisms suggested something far more than just a passive rejection…… no, it was something much darker.
You truly were as dense as a brick wall.
anger
Kabru doesn’t always react….. too calmly when people defy his expectations.
He’s able to keep a smile on his face just fine, but on the inside he’s screaming.
What do you mean there isn’t more? Where’s the scheme? The ulterior motive? The familiar secrets he can unravel and use to his advantage? Is it so bad that he wants there to be more?????
I’ll be honest, the man experiences his fair number of homicidal thoughts about you. In a strangely romantic way!
You’ll be chatting away with him, each remark and flirtation absolutely flying over your head, and inside his mind he’s just going I should gut them right here and sort their bones and vitals by size if they won’t let me dissect them the mental way.
And then seconds later he’ll go haha what was that! Anyway yes tell me more about the cute bird you saw last week.
I think Kabru does a lot of journaling, so he has a fair number of notes about you. Sometimes they’re drawings of you with notes about your appearance and physical mannerisms, other times he writes more free form about his thoughts regarding you. When he gets particularly frustrated, the writing can became scratchy or heavy handed to the point that it’s unreadable or nearly tears the paper.
The silence and solitude of the night was briefly interrupted by Rin rolling over in her sleeping bag. She was just beyond the range of the firelight where Kabru was still writing, and he could only barely see the way she squinted at him through her own tiredness.
“What are you scribbling about so late at night?” The mage would try to start another sentence, but be cut off by a yawn. If she was trying to be intimidating, it certainly wasn’t working. “Go to bed, Kabru, or else you’ll wake up to being sprayed by an undine if I have anything to say about it.”
That was a rather unpleasant thought….. even if the threat wasn’t legitimate, Kabru recognized that he’d probably spent far more time writing than intended. It was embarrassingly easy to get distracted when it came to you….just another thing that irked him about you. Yes…..’irked’. That’s most certainly the word.
“I’ll wrap it up soon, sorry to disturb your sleep, Rin.” With a grumble, the girl rolled back over, leaving Kabru to glance at his notebook for just a brief moment more before closing it. The writing was near illegible, but he still knew the words by heart:
‘I wouldn’t mind if they were scared of me. Maybe, if they sat on the other end of my sword, trembling and wide-eyed like human prey, I’d get to see a truly untouched side of them.’
bargaining
After the shock and rage subsides, Kabru tries to make you realize his feelings through pretty much every method imaginable except for confessing.
It feels like the man always appears at your side, always claiming he ‘happened to be in the area’ or something similar. And you never even question it, infuriatingly for him.
Your party members often tell you that something is up with the guy, that he’s hanging around you a suspicious amount but never being fully transparent, but you’d feel so bad about being suspicious of him when he’s done nothing but inquire about you and even offer gifts on rare occasions!
Kabru isn’t exactly the richest of adventurers, so gifts or treating you isn’t a regular occasion, but it’s certainly something he resorts to as a last ditch effort to try and get you to realize that he’s interested in you romantically.
Once he even tried to offer you a flower, but you still didn’t take the hint.
When you saw the flower in Kabru’s hand that day, your first thought was being so flattered that he remembered your conversation about which ones you both liked.
“Oh, Kabru!” You exclaimed with pure joy, causing the man to become embarrassingly excited that perhaps you had finally noticed the meaning behind all his gestures. Were you finally moved and wowed by his considerate, perfectly planned gift.
Clapping your hands together, you would beam and say, “You liked my favorite flower so much that you wanted to get one for yourself?”
A fly could’ve soared down Kabru’s throat in the time of that pause, but you paid it no mind, instead eagerly awaiting his reply.
The look on Kabru’s face was a completely blank smile, his bright blue eyes seeming to have almost burned out like a pair of oil lamps. Then, as he regained his composure, those lights flickered back on again, albeit wavering slightly.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take it yourself? If you like it so much, I’d be happy to let you take it home.” Poor Kabru, he should have learned by now that hints have no effect against the impenetrable fortress that is your cluelessness.
Your grin was the nail in the coffin, letting him know you had something in your head that was absolutely not anything he could anticipate from anyone else. “But why not use it as some decoration? Your party members always talk about how sparse your room is, and it could even remind you of me when I’m away! Here—“
You ushered him closer, a hand now on the small of his back giving him sparks that teetered between pleasurable and painful. The free hand gestured to the plant he held so delicately, pointing out different features like the petals, stem, and so on. “I can even tell you some facts about it; that’ll help you enjoy it that much more deeply whenever you see it! And you’ll remember our conversation!”
The way you could be so resistant to his advances yet so sweet to him could be nothing short of torturous sometimes.
depression
For a while, something fairly rare happens to Kabru: he falls into a slump.
He spends a long time in the dungeon, slashing away at monsters as if it might help him clear his head. His teammates notice that he can get more aggressive in combat than usual, but never really ask him about it.
He also becomes more spacey during mealtimes, and while some peaceful silence is nice, having Kabru of all people be so uncharacteristically quiet for so long.
It comes to the point that something similar to an intervention happens one day after dinner.
“What’s up with you, Kabru?” Mickbell wasn’t one to beat around the bush, immediately starting his line of questioning while looking at his teammate, void of mischief or amusement. “You’ve been all broody and silent all week. Can’t just expect us to not ask about it.”
“What Mickbell said,” Kuro concurred almost immediately after.
The tallman did his best to blink away his tiredness and offer a more confident look that he usually used when trying to rally his team under an idea or calm them down. “I didn’t mean to make you guys worry that much about me. It’s just something I’ve been personally interested in, so it’s not something you guys need to worry about.”
“A personal problem?” Rin cocked a brow. “If I know anything about what interests you, it’s probably a person.”
“Haha, caught me red-handed like always.” He raised his hands in faux surrender, though Rin didn’t seem to be put at ease by the gesture, so he tacked on another statement. “I was surprisingly stumped on what tactics to use when talking to a certain person, it’s really got me thinking.” Averting his gaze to the side, he could almost conjure an image of your grinning face in the corner of his vision. “It’s pretty exciting, though, so I don’t mind.”
“Ugh, I knew it!” The half foot threw his head back in exasperation, causing Kuro to extend one arm behind him in case he fell. “It’s that brick-headed adventurer you’re getting all cozy with, isn’t it?! What, you thinking of starting a new party?”
While Mickbell was busy stomping his foot to punctuate his accusation, Holm merely hummed. The gnome usually stayed pretty impartial to matters like this, but that didn’t mean he could always resist throwing in a comment or two.
“I’d be stumped too if I thought about human interaction like a battlefield.” His tone of voice remained soft, but his words were still quite pointed. “You really have to be upfront about your feelings sometimes, you know that? At least, if Mick’s description can actually be trusted.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!”
After those two broke down into petty squabbling, Kabru could merely try his best to mask his realization behind a tight-mouthed grin.
Holm was right, and he hated it more than anything.
acceptance
Okay, this is the part where Kabru actually bites the bullet and talks about his feelings. Truly a miracle of life.
Kabru can have a lot of trouble being fully vulnerable due to feeling like he’s losing control, so he does his best to maintain control over the rest of the outing. He arranges the time, location, even makes sure to get there first. It’s the most he can do to not feel completely helpless at the whims of his own fickle heart.
When you arrive, a new wave of nervousness hits him that’s almost like nothing before. Kabru has slain men without a second thought, and here he is resisting the urge to tremble because he has to tell his crush he likes them.
He starts off with small talk, sort of building up to his confession while also beating around the bush just a little. Asking you how you’ve been, if you’ve done anything noteworthy, if you’ve meet any new people…..
Eventually, Kabru decides that if he waits any longer, he may instinctually try to hide his intentions in the long strings of small talk he’s making, so he finally takes that leap.
He said your name, and your eyes flickered up to his face. Even if you were spacey at times, you never stared past him or through him whenever he was addressing you. It made him feel….strange. It was odd to feel truly perceived at times.
“Can I be….. terribly honest with you?” He cards his fingers through his curls and closes his eyes, and you couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly beautiful he looked.
“Of course,” you responded without thinking. Not like you ever needed to think twice about your appreciation for the man. More than that, really.
There was stillness, and all you could hear was Kabru’s deep inhale through his nose. He intended to phrase it more eloquently, he really did, but when he opened his eyes again and saw you waiting on his words with baited breath, there was this instinctive fear that maybe this would be his only chance. That you would walk away or disappear, leaving him with only the memory.
He didn’t want just a memory.
“I want you to know that I love you above all else.”
Your mouth hung agape like his had many times in response to your own remarks. Were it not for how shocked he was at his own words, he would have chuckled at how cute you look.
Before he could even scramble to elaborate on his uncharacteristically blunt comment, you blurted out in a similar fashion, voice slightly raised and head perked up,
“You really feel that way?!”
Faced with your blushing face, Kabru could only affirm the feelings that you promoted from somewhere deep within him. “Yes, I’d been trying to win you over for a long time, really.”
If you were flushed before, then now you were nothing short of flooded with embarrassment from ear to ear. Despite this, you were smiling, wobbly and sheepish. “I mean, it’s not like I’m shocked in a bad way or anything — I always thought you were really wonderful, too wonderful for me anyway. I really never thought you were pursuing me of all people!”
For the longest time, your denseness had given Kabru untold grief. Upon seeing you state it so plainly, however, he just couldn’t find it in his heart to be upset. Not when it was one of the things that made you so fascinating.
“I’d sort of figured as such, yeah.”
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mywritersmind · 2 months ago
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Lando picking up drunk y/n from the club <3
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CAREFUL -LN4
listen up : thanks for the request!! drunk!reader. that look of love. lando just being amazed at her.
word count : 915
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I got the call twenty minutes ago. I left my house nineteen minutes ago. I got here ten minutes ago and still can’t fucking find her.
Y/n called me, not unusual but odd for the time of night. When I answered all I could hear was her slurred words and music. She said something about me coming to the party and I came straight down.
I sigh in relief when I see the girl, her hair is a mess and she’s jumping up and down with her friends and some random guys on the dance floor. I push my way through the crowd and when I finally reach her, she grins wildly.
“Lan!” Her arms wrap around me and I hold her waist to stop her from falling. She’s wobbling on her heels when she faces me again, “You came! Drink time!” she goes to drink her own but is met with an empty cup.
“Hey… you wanna head home?” She frowns, her bottom lip gutting out.
“I wanna head to your-” she hiccups, “Home!”
When her hand meets my chest I suck in a breath. I look to her friends and they thank me, knowing I'm going to get her back safely.
We make it out with people yelling my name or guys hitting on Y/n. I’ve never been more relieved than when we get into my car.
She slumps across the middle console, looking up at me. Her eyes are the kind you could get lost in, and with her lip between her teeth and the sort of hazy gaze she’s giving me, I could really get lost.
I move my eyes away from her, reaching over and buckling Y/n in. She giggles when I push her over a bit so I can secure it.
“Lando!” Her window goes down, “Let’s make out!” I glance over to her, a small smirk on my face.
“Is that a yes?” She rests her head in her hands.
“That’s a no, but nice try.” she frowns again. I would happily oblige if the circumstances were different. The circumstances being if she were sober and actually felt like that for me out of her drunken mind.
“But we’re good!” She whines, putting her feet out the window now, “Soo good!” She leans her head back onto my arm like she’s remembering.
Maybe we had a bit of a makeout at a party some time ago. We were sober but drunk off my win and in the mood for something fun.
She pulls her feet back into the car, shivering a bit, “Tell me that when we’re sober, love.”
“Love…” She mimics my accent, “stop tricking me.”
“Tricking you?”
“Yes! You say ‘Love’“ she mocks me again, “and all I hear is ‘climb on top of me and suck my neck.” I let out a genuine laugh.
“Didn’t know I had that effect on you.” She sticks her tongue out, hearing my tone.
She unbuckles her seatbelt, her dress riding up and making me glue my eyes to the road. She turns her body, snaking her legs onto my lap and tilting her head out the window.
I eye her and am met with this look on her face.
Like she’s been waiting for me to look at her.
The wind is blowing her hair in all different directions, her lipstick is smudged, and she’s fucking glowing.
Her skin gleams under the moonlight, stretching her arms out of the window and leaning into the air more.
“Fuck.” I mumble under my breath, grabbing her thigh instinctively. My cool hand on her hot skin makes her squirm.
“Turn it up!” She yells at me and I do as I'm told. Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears comes through the speakers.
I can hear her wind blown laugh, her arms moving with the wind and then she starts singing… if you could even call it that. She’s screaming the words as I zip down the empty street.
“Something happens and I’m head over heels!” I join along, enjoying the view of her pure happiness.
She air drums which makes me laugh. I try to tell her to be careful but she can’t hear me, my hand tightens on her leg.
“Ahhh!” she screams out of joy, that same grin from earlier planted onto her face. Her eyes are closed, There’s glitter smudged around her eyes. It hits me in an instant how much I feel for her.
It’s ridiculous. How could one person be so beautiful? I reach over and pull her cheetah print dress down, she giggles. When she finally is back in the car, her hair is an absolute mess but the expression on her face is irresistible.
She looks at me once more, her legs still on me and her head against the closed window, “You’re really pretty.” It catches me off guard.
“Pretty?” I scoff a bit and she looks upset that I didn’t take the compliment so I look at her, my gaze softening, “Thank you, love.”
“Not going to say I'm pretty too?” She crosses her arms.
I laugh a bit, wiping my hand over my mouth, “You’re gorgeous, Y/n.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see her frown wipe away instantly. It’s like she sobered up in seconds.
She looks to the road for once, trying to cover her face but I could never miss the blush that joins her freckles.
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