#it feels a little too dark for me

[gay-mathematician-portmanteau]

cw: reference to potentially triggering treatment of a child by a caregiver.

single thread math episode 19: i made a game to help reinforce the process of creating and analyzing closed n-ary operations on finite sets. here are the rules: my basement child will receive some large rocks onto which i have carved thorough definitions for various operations. they will then need to wander through the local woods, hunting for small rocks onto which i have carved elements of sets. they will need to construct enough sets from the scattered rocks that each n-ary operation they were provided at the beginning is part of a well-defined algebra. when they finish, i'll reward them by letting them come back indoors! the fun nature of the task should help reinforce the critical ideas we're developing. this represents a major breakthrough in educational psychology and early childhood development research.

[br-disaster]

Nie Mingjue's Fatal Journey crying scenes appreciation post

There's no way I wouldn't make this post, but it ended up way longer than I intended.

Fighting with Huaisang

When is this man not tearing up?

This fight is so important for Huaisang's character development and the movie's themes, with Huaisang being ready to challenge and question the Nie ways and Mingjue doing his best to uphold those traditions and keep the peace through the only way he knows how.

But it's still hard to be challenged like this and to face the possibility that everything you've ever known might not be right, actually.

And this gif specifically is from the moment Huaisang questions if Mingjue even knows what they're there to fight and what this supposed great evil that will come to Qinghe if they fail to balance their blades even is. Mingjue has no answer, of course, I suppose he was only taught this and never had reason to question it.

But Huaisang is also talking about the disciples they already 'lost' at this point of the movie, and he says something along the lines of " You don't know anything, you only know how to bring them here to die" and that does it. Because it's both "you can't follow these rules blindly when they rely on sacrificing people" and "you've changed and I don't trust your judgement on these matters anymore".

And as he says it, Mingjue looks at their disciples and he sees the puppets for a moment. And Huaisang just questioned if the other disciples were really attacked by puppets.

So that's a big moment and Huaisang is right, of course, but he doesn't have a confirmation that this is the result of Mingjue's health deterioration yet, so he keeps pushing. And Mingjue doesn't really have a counter argument because he knows what's going on with him, but it must be very scary to hear it from the person you care about the most and realize just how much you're being affected.

(Actually, Mingjue has one counter argument and that is "Well, I am at least trying to do something while you're painting and living a carefree life", and he's not wrong either. Huaisang is right and rightfully harsh, but this is the first time he's being confronted with these difficult choices and all their family history. He can reflect on and question it, but his brother has been meking those hard decisions since he was 14, when did he ever had a break to question and change things?)

Which leads us to

The Talk

After seeing his brother sacrifice himself for him at the bridge, and then seeing Mingjue be so vulnerable and lost, that anger from their fight is gone. They can meet in the middle with "You are right, I wasn't thinking straight, this is not a long term solution and I've failed at changing our ways" and "It's not your fault, you did everything you could but you're not responsible for this situation" and it's very beautiful and heartbreaking.

Mingjue is so remorseful, both because he has condemned Huaisang to die with him and because he feels like he failed everyone and everything (even if he doesn't seem to know what he could have done differently to avoid all this).

And Huaisang's reaction in this scene is so calm it made me think this Huaisang is somewhat used to his brother displaying vulnerability around him. This isn't book NMJ with all his victories, this isn't a man who never let the Unclean Realm be conquered and who could afford to keep Huaisang far away from the war. This is a man who was attacked and subdued in his own home, who had to send Huaisang to the hands of the people who killed their father.

This Huaisang doesn't have reasons to see Mingjue as this unmovable force, he has seen Mingjue hurt and threatened and fearful; and he's now seeing him remorseful and defeated.

(I'm sure Mingjue telling Huaisang about the fact that he's dying and admiting his mistakes and insecurities is something new, especially considering their previous fight, but this Huaisang doesn't take it as a shock, because he knows his brother is only human and there's only so much he can handle. He even, like, explicitly says this)

And so he assumes this calm, reassuring and empathetic posture, because that's what his brother is asking for. And it's the most beautiful thing, Huaisang has so much love for him, so much empathy. And this is Mingjue's reaction to his brother's reassurance that it's okay if they have to die there:

I'm sure Huaisang is still processing Mingjue's "I only forced you to practice because I'll die soon", but he's so good at reassuring his brother.

Because Mingjue just told him "I am dying and I'll go as a failure" and Huaisang insisted "None of this is your fault and you did everything you could and more, and if I have to die here with you today, I don't regret a thing, and you shouldn't either".

There's no despair or anger that his brother is only telling him this now, there's only understanding and acceptance and so much love and they really knew what they were doing with this movie.

His people love him

Mingjue is so moved. He just admitted to Huaisang that he's not in peace with his accomplishments, or lack thereof; that he feels ashamed to face his ancestors, having done so little.

So I truly believe Mingjue doesn't consider himself worthy of this much trust and support. (And I can't ignore how this is tied to the Nightless City situation, where he led the men who trusted him with their lives to a dangerous situation and couldn't save any of them).

As we see in the confrontation at Jinlintai, that technically happens after this movie, that is still a very sensitive topic.

And here he has his loyal disciples saying they will follow him yet again, despite his previous 'failures'; just like Huaisang was ready to die with him. They have so much trust in him, and the way he's nodding a little here, just like he was nodding when Huaisang reminded him of everything he's done for their sect since their father died, is like he's convincing himself of it. That he can do this and he can do this right this time.

And yet

He fails again. And I don't even think he knows it was him who killed those disciples, like some people say. He doesn't need to because it doesn't matter. His men, who followed him till the end of the world, are dead again. And so is the hope he had of doing this one right thing before he dies.

Yes, he supressed the saber spirit like he had to, but they're still dead, all of them.

He falls apart, how could he not?

At some point I'm sure Huaisang his holding all his weight because he just gives up. There's only so much loss one can handle and that's way too much.

And look at the way Huaisang is watching him as he realizes something inside Mingjue shattered forever.

There's so much pain in this scene, it looks physically taxing and I hope people gave Wang Yizhou a break after he shot this. I know it's his job and he's phenomenal at it, but this has to mess with your head a little.

And hey, it's a Huaisang crying scene as well. CQL Huaisang only really cries twice. First he watches his brother have a mental breakdown in his arms after unknowingly killing his own disciples; and then as he watches his brother qi deviate and die, while unable to do anything to either stop or comfort him.

(And a lot of people said there's no hesitation on Huaisang's part when he rushes to his brother's aid when Mingjue is hurt on this post's notes, and that's true for book Huaisang too, because he runs towards Mingjue as he is qi deviating, gets hurt in the process, and still keeps calling for him, which makes CQL's decision to have JGY holding him back kind of cruel, tbh, there's not a Huaisang who would run from a hurting Mingjue regardless of the risks

But at least we have this scene.)

And that's it, I guess. There's nothing uplifting to say about this, really. He just went through a lot and kept shouldering everything until he couldn't anymore. I just wish book NMJ had gotten to receive the same love and comfort and acceptance from NHS before he died, I wish he had been able to tell his brother what was actually happening, but thats kind of the purpose of this movie, so I'm just very grateful that it exists.

It's like that post says, it didn't change anything but the love was there, you know? That's how this movie feels for me.

[3142-redgrave-avenue]

Welp its over for ikemen 2007 anime dante. Goodbye. So long, your google image results. I will miss you and cherish every frame i have left before April 2025.

The time has come, my handsome devil.

[lunarharp]

uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier

[cyanorhis]

Sauron's action of forcefully binding Galadriel to him by stabbing her with the crown has opened a huge can of worms in my head. The episode ends saying some things are lost forever and it got me thinking about how insane it is that he was willing to give up a part of her light in a sense just so he can Keep her, because he is Greedy, because he might lose her otherwise (well, he probably thought he was cooking by taking the "touch the darkness" to another level but that is beyond the point right now).

He marks her because he is desperate. He would rather risk have her completely corrupted than not have her at all, despite her absolute light being one of the factors that drew him in from the beginning.

Also worthy of mention how he literally lost his mind with Celebrimbor. He was pretty intent on going full "I will keep you alive through torture" but as soon as Celebrimbor pulled at his strings (masterfully must I say), Sauron lost his shit. He cried. He was terribly impulsive at that moment and I personally think it shaped their interaction afterwards. Not to add how he simply appeared and killed Adar with theatrics instead of... I don't know? Emotionally manipulating them further? Playing with Galadriel? In any case, it makes sense that he got a perfect payback but then again, he literally came out of nowhere and ruined her date (exchanging armies is kind of Galadriel's love language at this point).

All of this to say... Somewhere in the Future, it is not impossible for me to imagine that Celeborn returns, Galadriel and he have some emotional moment or whatever thinking "Oh let us have a nice life for a little while. Let us forget about your ongoing divorce with the Dark Lord to indulge in married couple affairs" and Sauron is out there watching through his live service wound-webcam feeling repulsed. He says (again) "Touch the darkness once more" so he makes an apparition Rosemary's baby style but worse because he'll be there to weaken her resolve and make her admit she's longing for him instead just for a little moment and then boom! Celebrian. 100 years of delicious denial/hurt/comfort/longing/hating/etc. After the season 2 finale, I wouldn't put it above him tbh. I saw someone say the last ep was for the dead dove enjoyers and I couldn't agree more...

[fosermi]

On this ARK we sail together...

@stillafanofsonic enabled me and I RAN with it.

[greywobbles]

Rest in Peace 🪦 Kermit the Frog

Beloved by the Joker, the Croaker, God

Wrongfully imprisoned in the meat closet, murdered by emos and died in agony. Taken too soon.

Hear the cries? The howls? You are hearing the brotherhood.. sisterhood… nonbinary hood (ally!) of the Muppet Joker.

May you and The Croaker be reunited in the afterlife once the time has come. And may sex in heaven be awesome.

Amen.

(written in my break room at work.. stay on that grind)

[feroluce]

“-and that's why I ain't allowed in Pier Point no more!” Boothill throws his head back and cackles, somehow completely comfortable on the bare floor of the archives. He's the very picture of ease, his arms behind his head, his legs bent and crossed.

Dan Heng barely looks up from his notebook, not much surprises him anymore after the first few tales of lawless exploits. “So they really have that many laws and restrictions there.” 

“And prob’ly a few more now that I've been through there! Heck, ya think they named any after me? I'm hopin’ so.” There's so much smug cockiness seeping through his voice Dan Heng could bottle it.

Silence settles in, stretches out. Dan Heng doodles pensive circles in the corner of his page.

He shouldn't ask. It's a private matter. It's none of his business. He of all people should know-

Something pokes his shoe, and when he looks up, Boothill has stretched one arm up to tap metallic fingertips against his foot. “Ain't like ya to hesitate.” With his head tipped back on the tiles and gazing at him upside down, Boothill's hair is out of his face and spooling out all over the floor, offering a rare view of his right side. His right eye is sealed over with a pitch-black patch, stark against his skin. Dan Heng wonders what he looks like behind it. “C'mon, then, out with it. Spill the beans, brother, just say it.”

“What does ‘Boothill’ mean?”

The man blinks at him, the crosshair in his cybernetic left eye flickering. Dan Heng shifts, smooths out his long coat. “I tried to look it up once. It's not in any database as a name...other than your wanted posters.” There's a thread beginning to fray near the hem, he should sew it up. “I couldn't find it anywhere.” 

He nearly takes it back, but- “Heh, ya that curious about me, darlin’?”

Dan Heng quickly levels his face into the most impassive, nonplussed expression he can muster, but Boothill has already turned away, head pillowed on his arms and face once again turned to the ceiling.

“But nah, ya wouldn't. Hah, like they'd allow any record of the language, fudgeheads.” One arm sweeps around blindly until it finds the edge of Boothill's hat, sets it back where it belongs on his head. Dan Heng shuffles around, scoots a little closer, but the brim is pulled too low to see his eyes anymore.

“It's ‘cause it's not a name. It's a noun.” All that's visible of his face is a sharp grin, pulled too tight at the edges.

“It's my people's word for a grave.”

Dan Heng's pencil stops.

“It's the kinda grave fer someone who died with their boots on. If ya catch my drift there.” Boothill's foot starts to bounce. “There was a war, and it got reeeeeal intense, yup. Folks started droppin’ like flies, ‘n’ there was bodies faster'n what we could bury ‘em.” A cooling fan kicks on somewhere. Dan Heng is pretty sure it's not any of the Express equipment.

“We lost some real good people there, real good. Mighty shame.” His hidden Vidyadhara ears detect a quiet metallic click, a whir, pressurized gas. Boothill's next words waft steam from his angry circuits into the air. “When I left, I decided to leave my name there, too. Didn't feel right otherwise. The life I lead now is a whole ‘nother existence.” And then Boothill turns his head, raises his hat, and Dan Heng suddenly feels pinned dead center, caught in that crosshair.

“Ya know what I mean, don'tcha?”

Dan Heng swallows.

Does Boothill know? Who he is and who came before him? There had been that moment in the Penacony Grand Theater, after he activated the Jade Abacus… Dan Heng had tried to shoo him out, keep him from seeing anything, but Boothill has the astounding ability to turn up exactly wherever people are trying to keep him away from.

If he did see, does he actually understand it? Does he know what a High Elder is? Does he know about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the transmutation arcanum, everything Dan Feng had done and Dan Heng was punished for?

He doesn't want to explain it all. Not now. Possibly not ever, truth be told.

And it's not the same as Boothill leaving behind his old identity when whatever event happened that caused him to leave home. Not really. But…

But so far, Boothill has slid so easily into Dan Heng’s routine. His presence never feels like an intrusion. He's already figured out what he can push and when to back down. And even Dan Heng finds himself able to roll with whatever punches Boothill throws with baffling ease. They share too much in their methods and ideologies, and sometimes Dan Heng knows what Boothill will do seemingly before even Boothill himself knows.

“...Tell me about Talia and the Nailscrap Town.” Boothill must know he's avoiding the topic. He must. But the man just throws his head back and cackles, melting easily back into what they had been doing before, as he speaks fondly of a planet that Dan Heng has never visited.

Not today. But.

Dan Heng inches just a little closer, just enough to nudge his foot against a metal leg. Boothill doesn't pull away.

Maybe someday.

[alteredsu]

Panoramic gamer girl 🤓

[noviluniumx]

which character in obm do you think is the most yandere for mc and why?

CRACKS KNUCKLES OKAY (there will be spoilers from nightbringer so just a heads up)

In my opinion it's definitely a tie between Mammon, Leviathan and Belphegor. Mammon In the OG it's been stated that Mammom oversees all forms of greed, and we know how he is head over heels for the MC as well as possessive. (well the rest of the boys have possessive tendencies towards the mc so lol) In Nightbringer we actually see him go super possessive over the MC to the point his brothers struggled trying to get him under control. Although it's been resolved, I still wonder if he'll be able to go that crazy like that again @ the MC. He is the Avatar of Greed after all, he makes it known to everyone that the MC belongs to him only and that he was their "first." Leviathan Avatar of Envy, enough said. I do remember in the OG (whether it was in one of the pop quiz events or the main story, I'll have to dig later) he did say that the MC is his. Either way I do believe he can be the most yandere for the MC. This jealous serpent??? Obviously. The MC is his idol, his angel, his player 2. I genuinely think he can be a terrifying yandere too. Iirc apparently he was supposed to be a canon yandere but they scrapped it? Correct me if I'm wrong but that's pretty much all I can say about him for now, It's not much so sorry. u __ u Maybe I'll edit and add more later. Belphegor He's a canon yandere (mmNNFF YUMMY). In Nightbringer his yandere side is shown more in Lesson 33-14 , Where he tried to keep the MC from going back to the human world (in MC's case, back to the future) by putting a spell on them so they feel tired. He's so wants the MC is to stay and to keep for himself and it shows, not just in nightbringer but pretty much anywhere. Dude got jealous/angry in Lesson 55-18(OG) where if you choose the option "I'm worried about Lord Diavolo." Belphie responds with "sO yOu cArE mOrE aBoUt lORd dIaVoLO tHaN mE?" What a spoiled, bratty, yandere bitch baby. Also a scary yandere. Tbh I can't really choose but it's between these three. Sorry for any typos btw. Honorable mentions: Lucifer , Barbatos , Diavolo

[bitternace]

the father, the son, the end of the world (x)

[ID: two digital drawings of three iterations of kiryu kazuma that are intertwined in a downwards sequence. the background is a night sky with two framing clouds, and city lights, moon backlightning the three figures. the colors are tinted blue, and the image is held in a frame that is transparent on the outer part.

on top, kiryu is shown in his yakuza 3 okinawa outfit, in the middle in his yakuza 0 pinstrip suit and at the bottom, in a black shirt as he appears in infinite wealth.

y3 kiryu curls his right arm around y0 kiryu's neck, hand in a fist, his right hand comfortably lying on top of lad8 kiryu's head. his expression is a deep frown, as he stares at the audience.

y0 kiryu is turned to the left side of the image, as if running away, his left arm resting over y3's left forearm, hand slightly curled into a fist. his right arm curls forward over lad8 kiryu's shoulder protectively, palm held upwards. he is frowning at something off-frame, mouth slightly open.

lad8 kiryu has his right hand in a fist over his stomach and the left one reaching up to hold y0's left forearm. his expression is blank, as he stares at nothing, mouth slightly agape.

The second image is the same, only slightly less dark for visibility. /End ID.]

(ref) (edited)

[demdems]

genshin trying to explain why every playable natlan character is gonna be paper white but enemy npcs who get easy aggro'd need to be dark skinned

[skeletoninthemelonland]

[mabaris]

no youre completely right - im a gay (trans)man and i legit wanna see so much more about the women bc There Is So Little. I wanna make a lesbian oc who gets bent in half by taash. im very normal.

i’m just tired man!!!! it feels so obvious how disproportionate it is when you’ve got. a cast of characters that we know almost equally little about. and a few of them explode in popularity and it’s like spongebob sticking his hand out the curtain. literally all a character needs to do numbers is to be a light-skinned man

[transfem-kirito-truther]

i know in my heart that asuna and rika take the time to show kaz how to do cute little winged eyeliner and then the next time they see her she’s got 2009 scene queen panda eyes and she’s so excited about being the goth girl of her dreams 😭😭

Showing her how to do a very simple, graceful like that accents the shape of her eye only for her to come out the next day guns blazing eyelids fully blacked out and the biggest smile on her face. Lizbeth questions why they even bothered trying to show her the normal way while Asuna is looking lovingly at her over the top edgy girlfriend. Honestly Lizbeth wonders why she even tries with either of them.

[mhaynoot]

so i went into orv with full shades on, didn’t even read the blurb or anything, I just saw the cover art, the bridge scene and some high school au art and was oh they’re so cute! tbh i literally saw images of the bridge scene so i don’t know how i completely missed the fact that there was a webtoon but i did and so i downloaded the epub version first and started reading with 0 expectations except maybe a shounen rivalry

ahh this is a power fantasy, first person, game cliches and all the action tropes of dungeons. i think this is similar to the other thing I was reading (solo levelling) oh huh so he’s a lazy office worker guy who only reads and is about to be laid off? not the worst backstory, i wonder what op power he’s going to get!

i was very very unquestioning of the story, i didn’t really think about much beyond trying to puzzle out surface level power stuff. like i was just fully trusting everything kdj's said in his internal narration. the protagonist is always right, yeah? he’s the omniscient reader’s viewpoint after all. just look at him explaining his acts of good with ulterior motives, look at him being cut throat and saying he's a villian.

"what a self aware protagonist!" i say obliviously.

hyprocrite he calls himself and i cheer.

orv plays into the genre tropes and cliches so well, i was completely blindsided by the gradual build up to all the revelations i just never expect for it to ever answer.

so in the beginning i’m casually rooting for him on as he beats up and outwits his abusive boss, his old bully, as every adversery bows before him in a very power fantasy way. his first death is a brush off, it is inconsiquential, he brushes it off, i say “ah this type of protagonist!”

actually lets talk about his first death for a bit. like kdj literally dies, but his own narration treats it as an inconsequential, small death. ignore it. don’t worry about it, look kdj isn’t worrying about it either! his fourth wall skill is negating the effects that’s why he’s so blase about it and that’s not totally concerning at all, don’t think too hard about it. this is just a power fantasy remember?

until the gaps between his actions and words started appearing even in my very guillable eyes.

I ask, “why do you want to save shin yoosung so much? wasn’t it just hypocrisy?”

kdj narrates:

The omniscience was a curse. Knowing someone's heart meant always deceiving someone.

my worldview starts shattering bit by bit and then the characters around him mourn each death and i startling start mourning too, grieving in a way i wasn’t able to understand for each death and each time he starts this painful cycle of violence and survival and salvation.

it takes a whole month to finish reading the novel. i laughed, cheered, smiled and cried so hard at so many different points reading. orv has become a part of me in a way i never expected.

i love this story.