#it even had me writing fanfic in order to cope

[smalltownfae]

Rating: 2/5 Stars

I am just so deeply disappointed in this one. I cannot believe this is the conclusion to my favourite book in the series. I can't believe that this is the resolution to that plot and those characters that were so brilliantly introduced and developed in the previous book.

In this one, the plot revolves around stealing the alchemist's books in order to stop people from creating another rekharo. That is a simple enough plot so one would think that this book would be more character focused like the previous one. It was not. There was a lot of focus on the importance of obtaining these books and on Alec's clan, which had their first appearance at the end of Shadows Return.

While Shadows Return focused on the characters, this book felt more focused on the plot (especially in the second half). Character's feelings were set aside in order to advance the plot and at times they even seemed to act out of character. There wasn't enough time dedicated to the characters reflecting on their actions and the interactions with each other were too brief. The best part of it was the first half, which was more slow moving and looked like a slice of life story, as it's typical for this author. The first halves of the books are always less action oriented. I really liked the scene with the huge adult dragon.

I absolutely hated that the new characters introduced had their own perspective. That was not necessary and I was bored out of my mind reading those parts because I found those people so boring. It would have been fine to see these characters through the main perspectives. There was too much time dedicated to these people that weren't fleshed out enough and that I didn't care for. The pointless battle near the end was the worst too. Why was this really necessary? The best part of it was seeing an original rekharo because the idea of them and the design is just cool. I could have gotten everything important said in those boring chapters through Alec or Seregil's eyes and the book would be better for it.

It's even worse taking into consideration that to give room to these new uninteresting characters, the two actually complex characters from the previous book show up very little. The ones that are actually important due to the relation they have with the two main characters. They were treated so badly after so much care was put into developing them in Shadows Return.

[SPOILER] Illar didn't act like himself, which is more or less understandable, but I hated how everyone treated him and was disgusted by him because of his trauma. I hated that Seregil only spared him a few words after everything that happened in the previous book and even in the brief scenes in this one. Sebrahn was a bit more lucky because the first half actually had some nice moments with him and Alec and Seregil, but he was set aside on the second half and Alec gave up on him with too little on page reflection on his part. Sebrahn was also very accepting about being abandoned when it's obvious that he does care for Alec. Everything about those resolutions was a mess. I hate how Ilar is left with an open ending and I refuse to believe he got caught again to be tortured. At least I was spared the confirmation and I can pretend he managed to go live somewhere and be safe. [END SPOILER]

I am so upset by so many of the decisions in this book, but there were still some good scenes, especially between Alec and Seregil and the ones in the first half of the book. I just wish more care had been put into the characters readers already knew and were interested in.

This is definitely my least favourite book in the series and I hope there is no other like this. The way it ended makes me think that there was a reset button and the next books will be just random fun adventures. It will be like these two books didn't happen and I am so mad about it because I loved Shadows Return so so much. Well, I can always reread it and ignore this one.        

[pedroscurls]

Always Here For You

Character(s): Frankie “Catfish” Morales and Reader (female, second person POV)  Summary: Frankie comforts you as you cope with your grief. Word Count: 1,193 Author's Note:  This is part of @pedrostories 1k celebration. Prompt quote is: “Alright baby, alright baby. Come on now.” and fanfic trope is Hurt/Comfort. I also just want to express my gratitude for allowing me to submit this even past the deadline. This was very cathartic and very close to home (with the recent loss I've experienced). I know I said I was taking a writing hiatus, but this was something that had been in the back of my mind for a little over a week now... Warning:  mentions of grief

Frankie knew that you were struggling with the recent loss of a loved one. The news came suddenly; you had gotten a call at four in the morning and when he heard the tone of your voice shift, he knew that something was wrong. He didn’t know how to comfort you, how to tell you that eventually, things will get better, because he didn’t know for sure. He had been more acquainted with loss and grief more than any person, but seeing you in this much pain… Frankie felt helpless. 

You barely ate. 

You barely slept. 

Every night, you cried into his arms. 

And every night, Frankie didn’t know what to do. He tried to make you smile, make you laugh, but nothing he did worked. He hated seeing you in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it. 

Grief was crippling, Frankie knew that. The fact that someone could be gone in a second and the world would continue on like nothing happened, it was frustrating. 

And you had always been so positive, always looking at the brighter side of things, even when it didn’t go your way. You were always a bright light in Frankie’s life, but the news of your loved one’s passing had dimmed that light. 

And tonight was no different. You were sitting on the couch in sweats and one of his hoodies that were obviously too big on you. The hood was over your head and you were mindlessly watching whatever was on the television. You hadn’t even turned your head to look in the direction of the front door opening. 

“Baby?” Frankie called out, removing his boots and his hat to set on the coffee table. 

You looked up at him and Frankie felt his heart break. Your eyes were red, puffy, and you were quietly sniffling. 

“Hey,” you whispered, stretching your arms out for him. Frankie bit the inside of his cheek before he sat next to you instead, pulling you onto his lap. His arms snaked around your waist as your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders. You buried your face against the side of his neck and felt tears building in your eyes once Frankie’s hand rubbed your back. 

“How was your day today, hermosa?” 

“Rough,” you whispered shakily. “I’m glad you’re home though.”

Frankie nodded and pressed a kiss to your temple. He continued to run his hand along your back in a comforting manner, which he found you leaning further into him. He could hear your quiet sniffling and could feel the tears begin to stain his shirt. 

“Did you eat today?”

You just shook your head.

“Baby,” Frankie said quietly. “How about I order us some pizza? We can have a movie night, eat some food, cuddle…”

“I’m not hungry,” you replied, but your stomach said otherwise. Both you and Frankie heard your stomach rumbling and you pulled back enough to look up at him with soft eyes, biting your lower lip. “Don’t listen to that.” 

“Sounds like you are, hermosa,” he said with a smile, gently poking your abdomen. “What about breadsticks?”

You shook your head. 

“French fries?” 

You didn’t respond, but instead just kept your eyes locked on his. 

“Oh, so French Fries might be something we can work with.” 

“And chicken nuggets?” you said with a hopeful tone. 

Frankie smiled, gently leaning in to peck your lips. “I’ll get you anything you want as long as you eat something, hermosa.” 

“Can I come with you?” you asked, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. 

Frankie’s eyes lit up. It had been a little over two weeks since you found out the news and since finding out, you didn’t want to leave the house, which Frankie understood. “You sure?” 

“As long as I’m with you, I’ll be okay.” 

Frankie smiled and moved a hand to cup your cheek, wiping away the fallen tears. He stared deeply into your eyes and leaned in to press a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. 

“You know I’m here for you, okay?” 

“I know,” you whispered shakily. “I know.”

“And no matter what, you don’t have to go through this alone, hermosa.” His thumb caressed your cheek and his eyes bore into your own. It was overwhelming, the amount of safety you felt just being in Frankie’s presence. 

“It’s just–” you whispered, tears beginning to pool around your eyes again. “I don’t know how to cope with this, or move on from this and I just–”

“The pain may never go away,” he said honestly. “And there’s no timeline for these things, so if you want to cry, you want to scream, you want to just let out your emotions, then do it, hermosa. I’m here” 

“But it just hurts so much and–” A breath caught in your throat and you brought a hand to wipe at your eyes, but Frankie moved both hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “It’s okay, hermosa.” 

You looked into his eyes, searching for comfort in the depths of his brown orbs and immediately felt yourself breaking down all over again. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders tightly, burying your face against his neck as you let out a quiet sob. 

“Alright baby, alright baby,” he whispered, holding you tightly against him as well. “Come on now,” Frankie said. 

Frankie could feel your body trembling against his own, his shirt beginning to get wet with the stain of your tears. Your sobs filtered the living room and Frankie shut his own eyes, hoping and wishing the pain away. 

“I’m here, baby,” he said quietly. “I’m here.”

You continued to cry against him, taking comfort in his strong arms wrapped around you. The pain of losing a loved one was nothing like you ever experienced before; it was debilitating, crippling, and every time you thought about what happened, your heart just broke all over again. 

But Frankie was always there to pick up the pieces. 

To hold you.

To whisper sweet reassurances in your ear.

Frankie was your home, your safe place, and you didn’t realize how badly you needed that right now. 

When you felt yourself slowly begin to calm down, you pulled away to bring the sleeves of the hoodie to wipe away at your eyes. You looked over at Frankie and noticed him staring right back at you with soft eyes. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

Frankie let a small smile line his lips. He leaned in and pecked your lips, pulling back enough to rest his forehead against yours. “And I love you, hermosa.” 

Just as Frankie was going to say something, your stomach growled once more. Louder than earlier and he saw a small smile line your lips. He felt his heart soar at the sight and when he heard you let out a quiet giggle, Frankie finally felt like things were going in the right direction. 

“So, fries and nuggets?” he teased.

“And a milkshake?” you asked.

Frankie smiled. “Anything you want, baby. Let’s go.”

[emilija04acer]

Lackadaisy fanfics list <3

Recomendation>>>

Characters: Viktor, Mordecai, Nico, Seraphine

Lackadaisy Five by GreyRose24

Viktor Vasko’s first impression of Mordecai Heller is that Atlas has hired a scrawny kid to be his new partner. His second impression is that Atlas has hired a very irritating scrawny kid with something missing in either his head or his heart. Alternate title: five times Mordecai let the mask slip in front of Viktor and one time he didn't

Words:27,291

This is one of my favorites. I found it when I was searching for fics that had some focus on Mordechai's Jewish background. I like how the author depicted their relationship (not because it isn't romantic), they show genuine care for one another and I want to read more.

(If you like the ship see number 3)

This is the first part in a series of 5 works, I'd recommend this series.

2. Lackadaisy Communion by GreyRose24

The Savoy siblings’ first impression of Mordecai Heller was that Asa Sweet had handed them off to a rude bookkeeper to be their new leader. Their second impression was that the boss really needed to watch his back because their new colleague clearly had his own agenda in mind. Alternate title: four times the Savoys messed with Mordecai to get to know him better and one time they didn't. [Fluffy side story, fits around Lackadaisy Diable & Triad]

Words: 25,720

The final installment of this series was mentioned earlier. Even without reading the entire series, I found it possible to understand everything. I love fluff so this is the jam.

3. What Is This Feeling? by FOxFIRe_27

4 times Mordecai had some…confusing feelings about Viktor + one time it finally clicked.

Words:12,781

Actually wanted the 2 to be happy so it's a bit out of character, but it's sweet!

4. Frozen Hearts by meticulous-metzger (EdgeHedgeShads)

In an attempt to raise Viktor for a job without freezing his tail off, Mordecai decides to drive in the thick winter snow, only to have an accident. Irritated his young triggerman continues to be reckless, Atlas orders him out of the speakeasy and into Viktor's apartment to recover, leading to some awkward conversations, situations and a whole lot of bonding.

Words:5,948

Mordecai has an accident and Viktor takes care of him, Unfortunately uncompleted...

5. The Hotseat by meticulous-metzger (EdgeHedgeShads)

After a storage barn gets raided by a competitor, Mordecai and Viktor are sent out to wait for the perpetrators to make a second hit. Unfortunately, it's the middle of summer, and Mordecai isn't coping with the heat well.

Words:2,697

This one is a bit more... sweaty. Nothing too explicit, just the first kiss in the summer's heat. Again not finished... Damn!

6. Stopgap by Stariceling

Viktor and Mordecai look after each other, at least long enough for the bleeding to stop.

Words:2,223

A break from shipping, another platonic fic!

Mordecai took out his handkerchief again to finish the interrupted task of fastidiously cleaning the blood from his face. “That should suffice until you see a doctor.”

“No doctor,” Viktor muttered. “Alvays threatening to chop off legs.”

7. Lackadaisy Liaison by bubble_bees

Viktor couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment their relationship developed into this. It was natural. They gravitated around one another as if that’s what they’ve done all their life. Or: a look at Viktor & Mordecai's partnership, up until its rather violent end.

Words:2,143

The betrayal of getting kneecapped buy your dear friend. Poor Vik...

There should be more fics focusing on Viktor and Mordecai. On Viktor in general. Also on the Savoy siblings.

I know they aren't the main characters, it's to be expected but come on! Will I have to write? I want a fic in which Viktor gets an apology for being kneecapped into early retirement, well a longer fic than this>

I Know Those Eyes/This Man Is Dead by Lack-luster-daisy (cowgremlin) We are back to shipping.

Please write for the series! Finish them, please!!!

"Papa me want more movie!"

Why are there only 4 pages for Mordecai and Viktor (platonic) on AO3? Well looks like someone's got to change that.

[multi-writer]

Handcuffs

Eddie Munson x Reader

(S4, vol 2)

Author’s note: WHAT. THE. F**K. Hell nah, I didn’t wake up three hours before I normally do on a work day to be left like that. Istg fic writers write better than this none sense the Duffer Brothers did. So this is me writing as a coping mechanism because Eddie deserves better (I’m even writing on my phone so I’m sorry for any mistakes) yesss, I changed some parts to fit my narrative but that’s on fanfics so lol. Hope you like it!

Warning: S4, Vol. 2 Spoilers (I tried to make is spoiler-free as possible). Mention of sexy time, use of weapons, I kind of want to pull a Vecna move on the writers for today's two episodes. A bit of angst but a lot of fluff

Summary: Eddie was ready to sacrifice himself for you and Dustin, but he didn't count on you having other ideas.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The way back was quiet, everyone was getting ready to return to the Upside Down and defeat Vecna once and for all so he could not claim more victims.

Before arriving to Eddie's trailer, you arrived at Victor's house to drop off Lucas, Max and Erica, the plan that was made earlier was on their minds. As you dropped them off, Steve started driving to get to your destination where you would return to the world you were most afraid of. You turned to look at the three teens one last time silently wishing them luck.

A hand interrupted you from your thoughts, the owner held your hand tightly trying to give you strength for what was to come. When you turned to see him, you realized that Eddie was looking at you, his brown eyes showed concern for what was going to happen, he was still a little dirty from the last time he entered the Upside Down, he had small wounds, his face reflected the tiredness of the last days and he was dressed to go back to the place. You smiled at the sight of him, even after the above, he was still the most beautiful person you had ever seen. At the sight of your smile, Eddie leaned over to you and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

"It's going to be okay..." he whispered

Upon arriving at the trailer, everyone began to divide up the weapons you had purchased and created. The group would be split in two. Steve, Nancy and Robin would go together to where Vecna was while Dustin, Eddie and you would be the distraction for the bats. While you guys split up and settled in as needed, Eddie went to get his guitar and an amplifier, ready for whatever might come. In your backpack you stuffed a small pistol and two bombs that Robin and Steve had made a few hours ago.

The first ones to cross the portal were Steve and Eddie, who arranged the mattress so the rest of you could get in. You were the last to go in, having seen some things that might be useful to you. You shook your hands a little to get rid of how tense they felt and started to climb up the rope of sheets. As you climbed in and landed on the mattress, the first one to help you stand up was Eddie. His hands were cold from nerves but you held them between yours in fear that something was going to happen to him.

"Remember, I'll meet you back here" Steve said. "And don't try to be heroes."

Everyone nodded and split up on what each had to do. Dustin and Eddie climbed onto the roof of the trailer while you reinforced the doors and prepared the escape entrances.

"All set?" shouted Eddie to receive inches up from Dustin. "All set over there pretty?"

"All in order!" you shouted back. Taking this as a cue to continue, Eddie plugged in the amplifier with his guitar and began to play 'Master of Puppets'. Turning to look up at the sky you saw that none of the bats were coming towards you, the red colored lightning didn't help you see clearly.

A few seconds passed when Dustin shouted.

"They are coming! Eddie you must stop in 30 seconds!" Eddie just nodded and you prepared to escape.

"20 seconds!". Cold sweat was pouring down your forehead.

"10 seconds!" Eddie was already finishing, Dustin was near the edge of the roof ready to run away and you were holding the door tightly.

"Now!" Dustin jumped down making you go to help him, as you turned back to the sky you managed to see countless bats heading towards you. Fear made you look at Eddie as he took off his guitar and came down with you.

He quickly grabbed the two of you and pulled you inside the house standing behind you to protect you from any creature that might want to approach, he pushed you inside the trailer and closed the door causing several bats to bury their claws between the gaps in the grille.

"Inside, quick!" The three of you jumped in, closed the Wood door and prepared for anything. Seeing the creatures begin to bury their claws in the wooden doors, Dustin climbed up the rope to get back to the normal world and be safe. Eddie turned to you with concern and then looked at the sheets giving you a signal that he wanted you to go with Dustin. You, looking at his eyes, found a feeling you hadn't seen in him. You knew what he planned to do.

"Guys quick, before they catch up to you!" shouted Dustin worriedly from the roof.

"(Y/n)...you go first. I'll catch up" Eddie said softly causing your eyes to fill with tears from fear and the knowledge of what Eddie wanted to do.

Without thinking, you pulled the handcuffs you took from Eddie's trailer out of your pants pocket and put one of them on the man's left wrist causing him to open his eyes in surprise.

"What are you doing?!" theman shouted as you adjusted the other part of the handcuffs on your right wrist.

"I know what you plan to do... I'm not leaving you here" you said firmly as you grabbed one of the spears that were in the room and turned to the door ready to attack.

"You're crazy, I want you and Dustin to save yourselves" Replied your boyfriend angrily.

"Me? Crazy? You should ask yourself that" you said as tears fell freely down your cheeks. The anger quickly disappeared from Eddie and he was filled with desperation trying to come up with a plan to save you. Your boyfriend turned all around looking for something and finally finding it. He grabbed the axe that was nearby filling you with fear thinking he was going to cut the handcuffs. From one moment to the next he raised the axe and cut the rope made of sheets so that Dustin would not follow you.

"What are you doing!" shouted Dustin in desperation seeing what you were planning to do. The boy's eyes filled with tears as he looked for a way to reach you. Eddie's action surprised you.

"We can't let those things near the kid" Eddie told you as he wiped away one of your tears with his hand tied to yours. You smiled at him as you understood that he had accepted that you were in this together. "Dustin! Stay there, we'll buy some time!" He shouted before running to another door and out the back of the trailer pulling you behind him.

Outside, Eddie grabbed a bike that was lying around and then hopped on, leaving you part of the seat for your comfort (something you didn't think of when you put the handcuffs on him). The boy started pedaling quickly with one hand while the other, which was tied to you, was on his back making you lean forward for better comfort for both of you.

The little monsters became aware of your escape that they stopped clawing at the house to start following you. Your arm found itself hugging Eddie's waist to keep yourself from falling. The cold wind caused the hairs on your arms to stand up making you move closer to your boyfriend.

"I never realized...you had taken...the handcuffs" Eddie said between breaths.

"I took them in case I needed them. I didn't think I was going to use them though" You replied a little loudly through the wind. "Why did you have them in your room?". Your question made the man blush.

"Actually..." he took a breath of air. "I was thinking of using them on you...sometime" Eddie pedaled harder making you let out a smile regardless of the fact that you were about to die.

"When we get out of this you use them on me. But we'll get through this, together" You gave him a kiss on the cheek trying to forget the awkwardness of how his arms were between you.

Eddie pedaled as fast as he could, however, the weight of the two of you made it difficult. You had to make a decision fast. "Eddie...we have to fight" you said as with your one free hand you moved your backpack between Eddie and you.

"We are close to the public pool. We can use it to create distance." In the background they could see such a place, so you had to think of something fast.

"Eddie... how good is your aim?" You asked with an idea in mind.

"I don't consider myself bad" He replied with shortness of breath.

"Perfect, I have an idea" Eddie pedaled as fast as possible creating more distance between you and the monsters. When you reached the edge of the pool, you both got off the bike and jumped to the bottom of it, it wasn't deep but it could do. You quickly dropped your backpack on the ground and started pulling things out. You passed the loaded gun to Eddie who took it in his free hand. In your free hand you held one of the homemade bombs.

"We have to wait until they are in a good distance" You said making Eddie look at you. "I'll throw this and you'll have to shoot it to make it explode, you only get one chance per bottle" you turned to look at the other homemade bomb you had. Youwere only counting on two to survive.

"No pressure" Eddie said trying to calm the tension a little but he wasn't buying it either. The little bats were getting closer. "Already?"

"Not yet..."

"They're coming!" Said the desperate boy.

"A little more..."

"(Y/n) throw it already!" shouted Eddie. You spotted the center of the group of hungry monsters and dropped the first bomb. Eddie took aim and fired three shots hoping to hit it. One of the bullets made contact with the bottle causing it to explode and kill several beasts while others fled away.

However, some others were still flying towards you. You quickly grabbed the second and last hope they had and threw it back into the center of the already reduced group of beasts. Eddie fired again three times causing you to have only one bullet left in the small gun in case something else came to you. Just like the previous one, Eddie hit the target causing another explosion killing the beasts. The rest of the bats fled away.

Seeing that you were no longer being chased, the two fell to the ground to rest. As you turned to look at each other they saw tears of happiness falling from your eyes. You both smiled and hugged each other tightly, thankful that you were alive.

The moment was interrupted when they heard noises approaching to where you You quickly separated and looked expectantly to see where the noise was coming from. A few seconds passed where you seemed not to breathe until a head peeked over the edge of the pool.

"How dare you do something stupid like that!" shouted Dustin with tears falling from his eyes. The boy jumped into the empty pool and ran to hug you two. Eddie and you let out a sigh and hugged Dustin. "Steve said not to be heroes. What didn't you understand about that?!"

"I wasn't going to let Eddie take all the hero credit" you said in a mocking tone making Eddie push you gently.

"How did you get here kiddo?" Eddie asked as he placed his free hand on Dustin's head shaking it gently in a gesture of affection. Dustin wiped the tears from his eyes with his hands and looked up at you hopefully. The poor boy was shaking.

"I made a mess in your trailer so I could get through the gate. I'm sorry" Dustin said lowering his head, causing Eddie to smile softly and reach over to hug him.

"Thanks Dustin..." Eddie whispered in his ear then stood up causing you to follow him. "Let's go home and wait for the others. (Y/n) do you have the handcuffs key?" he looked at you expectantly leaving you silent.

"...No."

Eddie just laughed and reached over to put his hand on your neck and pull you close to kiss you hard.

"God, I love you so much...let's go before we get attacked again" The three of you got out of the empty pool and walked briskly towards the trailer. When you reached it you found Steve, Robin and Nancy with marks on their wrists and ankles.

"Where have you been?!" asked Robin. “We were worried about you!”

"And where is the rope?" Nancy continued.

"Believe me, it's a long story. But let's go back, better to tell it safely instead of this damn place" You said. The whole group went into the house to escape.

At last, everyone was fine.

[alidravana]

Hesh Walker and Kick (aka Kaleb), from COD: Ghosts

Art by: @sleepyconfusedpotato

My current WIP that involves these two is It Happened Quiet, would love to hear any feedback/comments!

To accompany this artwork, below the cut is a masterpost of all my completed fanfics related to this pairing in attempted chronological order (the list got too long):

Take a Drink of that Promised Land

Hesh turns to alcohol to try to cope with the death of his father. It doesn't go very well.

On the Edge of Something New

Kick's POV of Hesh's breakdown, and the realization of his own feelings towards the older Walker brother.

Waiting on that Morning Sun

While Keegan lays wide awake at night, Logan wrapped around him like a cuddly octopus, he reflects on the changes in his life since Logan Walker appeared in it.

Partners in Crime

AKA 3+1 times Logan was completely oblivious, and the one time even he couldn’t miss the signs in front of him.

*FAV* Dear Dad

Hesh writes a series of letters to his father after his death.

*NEW* Somewhere We Both Want to Go

A series of snapshots in time of the ever-increasing intimacy of Hesh's and Kick's relationship.

*NEW* Hurts to Be Loved Like This

Kick’s mind was a mess; a jumbled, chaotic screaming mess that kept shouting at him to react, to do something, but he couldn’t parse through the noise. The only piece, the only shred that he managed to hold onto, was that Hesh was alive. His partner, his love, was still breathing, his heart was still pounding…and that had to be enough for now.

Run, Run, Lost Boy

Hesh, Kick, and Keegan struggle to deal with Logan’s memory losses after the pit.

Future Fic: Leave A Light On

Logan returns to his family more than twenty years after being captured by the Federation only to find a dark-haired, 20 year old boy answering Keegan's front door.

Canon Divergence: Some Ghosts Never Leave

The Ghosts embark on a mission to rescue Logan Walker. Unfortunately, things don't always go according to plan.

Hinting in the background, an AU: Wednesday Pick Me Up

When the Green Team takes over running the coffee canteen at the Santa Monica base, a particular blonde barista catches Keegan’s eye…and maybe his heart (AKA the Coffee Shop AU that no one asked for).

Hope everyone enjoys these two as much as I do!

[sequencefairy]

Writing Wrap-Up 2023

It is, once again, the end of the year! I wrote a lot!

First of all, I have officially published all my original stuff written for Space Fruit Press on Amazon Kindle under my penname, so if you enjoy my fic, I would love to encourage you to check out my original stuff, too, since all those dollars help me on the journey to doing that full time instead of having a full time job that really cuts into my fangirl time.

In addition to what is available on Amazon, there is another anthology of work coming from the press, and I will have a story in it! I need to write it, but it will exist. I'm very excited about this story, as well.

From a fanfic perspective, I have published only three things this year:

And I Was Never Afraid of the Dark (Oh, the Weapon You Made of My Heart) - shyan, wip, unfinished, 9.4k, demon!shane

Shane pulls Ryan out of Hell at 3:37 on a Tuesday afternoon. He’s not looking at his watch at the time, but he infers the time later after he’s finally managed to get up off the desert floor, and has hauled them both back to the car he’d parked in the lot at the trailhead a little over a week ago. Ryan’s a deadweight in Shane’s grip, head lolling back against Shane’s shoulder and body limp and unhelpful in Shane’s arms. His eyes are closed.

My Rivers Tilt Towards You - geraskier, fae!jaskier, 29k, strangers to friends to lovers, canon-divergent au

Geralt pushes the door open one-handed. As it creaks, announcing his presence, Jaskier looks up from the long table he’s sitting at. There’s a mug of something at the bard’s elbow and his songbook is open in front of him. “Geralt,” he says in greeting, and for a moment, Geralt is sure that the bard’s eyes shine in the dark, reflective like his own. He blinks, and the moment passes. Jaskier’s mouth curves into a smile. “Is it done, then?”

Coax the Cold Right Out of Me - shyan, complete, 4.1k, vampire!shane, established relationship

“Shane,” Ryan says, insistent, eyes gleaming in the dark. Shane lets his eyes fall shut, and sighs. The little red and white cooler they usually bring on shoots got left behind at the hotel, an hour and a half away in Jackson. “I’ll be fine,” he says, not looking at Ryan, and ignoring the ache in his gums. He’s gone longer without, he can make it through one shoot and then the drive back before being sated. “You don’t have to be.”

(more rambling under the cut)

So I spent too long making this, but whatever. Let's have fun with infographics, baby!

Anyway, interesting look at the last couple of years for me! I have clearly been in a quality over quantity place regarding wordcounts + things published over the last few years.

I have, over the past couple of years, been feeling like my writing has changed quite a lot, both in terms of what I am interested in writing, and also what I am interested in publishing both to AO3 and as original work.

I think there's also probably something in here about the fall out from the pandemic, as well as something about the fact that I've been medicated for the ADHD for a year now, and I've had to learn how to write in a way that is not an unhealthy coping mechanism and instead as something I do for fun, as a hobby that I enjoy.

What I have been producing lately, in 2023, is some of my favourite writing I've ever done, and I feel like I really levelled up this year in terms of tackling themes and ideas that the me of 2021 wouldn't have even imagined was possible.

With that said, the other fun comparison across years is this one:

Clearly, when you only publish three things in a year, it skews your stats, but I do also think that My Rivers was definitely a thing I needed to finish and write in order to become the person who is currently sitting on about 70k or so of active WIP for a different fandom altogether.

I adore, always, all the love that my shyan fic gets, this fandom is demonstrative in a way that no other fandom has ever been for me, and I've made the best kind of friends in this fandom. Even if I never publish another shyan fic ever (which I am certainly not saying is the case), I still treasure every single one of these fics which allowed me to meet people who've become extremely fucking important to me.

In addition to published fic, of course, the other thing to talk about is all that stuff I'm sitting on that hasn't been published (yet).

These are the seven most active of my WIPs. I am desiring to publish Moonlight on Broken Glass before the end of December, but since I'm the porn and instead of writing it, I keep going back to refine other parts of it, I have some doubts in my ability to get a draft done in the next few days.

All together, that's about 82k of wip, in various states of done that I'm working on. So, really, this year, I've written like, well over 100k, which is always my quiet goal going into any given year.

I don't have anything else to say about this, but I had fun making these little pictures and looking at all my wips. It was, all told, a good year for writing, even if it started off kinda slow.

[takami-takami]

THANK U FOR THE TAG MWAH MWAH Was tagged by @aquadenks to rec some of my own fics so! Some author's notes too, spoiling the subtext lol but giving some behind the scenes info! I'm just gonna pick my favorites, not so much the ones I'd recommend.

For recomendations: Stray Dogs Will Crawl Home for sfw; How to Fix The Ache or Can't Help Myself for nsfw

My faves:

Nightmares. | angst, hurt/comfort

I wrote this to cope with the GRAGGGHH feeling after watching the Lady Nagant episode. Like I wrote this late as hell at night too in order to be normal. I like the way I wrote the panic, it was fun to try and tweak it to be more in character and make the body language and dialogue believable. I find his theme of corruption and being used by the hpsc and feeling shackled to be very interesting to explore. I had to write the boy being comforted for his past or I'd die.

I Think I Love You. | fluff

The cutest fic I ever wrote. Pure good feelings. I genuinely love this one, I think it's adorable and head-over-heels!Keigo is my weak spot. I giggled so hard to myself when I wrote about the platonic kiss to ground himself. He's so cute. Fuzzy feelings. Happy happy happy.

Happy Birthday. | angst

Pure angst. PURE angst.

I had this in my notes for a long while, actually, and had the idea in my head for longer. It's a catharsis piece, very personal. Whenever I would have a moment related to a Thing, I'd pull out my notes app and work on this and just vomit my feelings onto the page. I still remember stopping in the middle of grabbing groceries and pulling out my phone to type the "what did you make me do" part as soon as I thought of it. Typing outside on my phone like a madman. Very therapeutic. Even though it's my least popular fic (probably because of the subject matter and lack of x reader) it means a tremendous deal to me.

How To Fix The Ache. | smut

The smut fic of the bunch— HEAR ME OUT, this is one of my favorite smut fics so I picked it as a representative (My other favs are Crybaby, Accidents, and Sweet, Sweet Indulgence. Not including the mini drabbles. I can answer which of those I like if anyone's curious!). So I'm putting it here. KEIGO YANKING IT MY BELOVED!! I like the pacing here, the tension building, the payoff at the end where he mcLoses it. Sexually frustrated virgin mess Keigo :(((((.

A Dog Unfed. | angst, hurt/comfort

This is my most recent fic but also another favorite of mine! Literally helped me so bad to write this. Do not know where I would be if I didn't write it. I feel like, I honestly didn't want to turn this into a fanfic at first. It was just supposed to be a thing for only me to see about how I'm feeling because the feeling was overwhelming; but I wanted to share it, so I turned it into a thing with Hawks (which also helped a ton)! I think you can tell, at least in the beginning part. I break the fourth wall at the end a little which I thought was cool but definitely was worried about doing. I let go of a lot of inhibitions and a desire to Appeal to Others when writing this one. Like I told myself when I was writing over and over, "all my writings are mine but this one is Mine." Very special place in my heart. <3

But my FAVORITE fic is still being written. Idk when it will be finished though, it's a big one— I don't like posting chapter by chapter, so I'm just gonna finish all the chapters first and then slam it onto the table hopefully.

Tagging ANYONE steal this. :3

[scribefindegil]

authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Yayy! Thanks Mary! <3 After agonizing it for a while, my top 5:

The Real World (Mob Psycho 100, post-Mogami arc) is absolutely my favorite fic I've ever written. It's some of my best prose, I'm really pleased with how concise and focused I was able to keep it despite touching on so many characters, and it let me distill down a lot of my thoughts on the themes of the show and why it's so important to me. And I wrote it during the absolute worst stretch of the curse, painstaking sentence by painstaking sentence over the course of half a year. I am so so so proud of it.

Fisherman's Knot (Gravity Falls, post-canon fic focusing on the Stans, their deeply-entrenched mental health issues, and their eventual recovery. Also there are selkies.) At 104k words, the longest piece of writing I've ever finished. Writing it was a journey; I took a long break but I'm so happy and proud that I managed to come back and finish it and that there were still people who were as excited as I was to get to the end. The response to this fic blew me away; it started out largely as a coping mechanism to deal with my own poorly-treated mental illness and I feel really honored that my writing resonated with so many people dealing with similar things. I grew so much as a writer over the course of it. Both the big moments of catharsis--Stan's glitter and Ford's realization by the harbor--were things that were so powerful and electric in my head that I worried I wouldn't be able to put them down in words that did the feelings justice, but I did!

Bloom (Discworld, a Glorious 25th of May fic set a few years after Night Watch) Everyone who sets out to write a Discworld fic is undertaking an extreme act of hubris, because not only are you trying to emulate a specific writing style, you're trying to write like Terry Pratchett, which as we all know is basically impossible. Still, I think I hit some good resonant Discworldy notes in this little piece and really nailed the Themes I was going for. Periodically the Tumblr post version gets a little burst of notes and it always makes me really happy that people are enjoying it.

First And Final Orders (Mob Psycho 100, Dimple character study) Hi. Have you heard of ring composition? I love ring composition. It is my single favorite literary device (and I love a LOT of literary devices), so I had to include one of my fics that makes heavy use of it. I also love pointing at a piece of media and going "Hey. Hey have you thought about how there's kind of some Discworld themes here? What if we thought about the Discworld themes together?" And ALSO i love DIMPLE!!! I hope this fic helps explain why.

Casualties (Gravity Falls, missing scene from the finale) So the reason this fic makes this list isn't so much its quality (though I do still really like it!) but the fact that it was my first-ever completed fanfiction. I'd idly poked at the idea of writing fic a couple times before but never made much progress. I hadn't actually done any creative writing for years at that point. I came to fandom late due to a combination of being scared of the internet and, when I did check out my real-life friends' fandom blogs, feeling like everything was so focused on shipping that there would be no place for me and the kinds of stories I cared about. Gravity Falls changed that. I'd made friends and felt like part of a community for the first time. I'd read fanfic that I loved and that focused on the sorts of relationships I really cared about. And so finally I decided that even though it still felt really scary, maybe I would try my hand at actually writing and posting a fic of my own.

360,000 words and 54 works later, I still think it was a pretty good idea.

[auteurdefeu]

Okay, as a fanfic writer and reader, I love reading about the struggles of self worth with a side of hurt/comfort and affirmations as much as the next person, but I’m noticing a theme as I watch the GO fandom scramble to write fix-its to cope with the (beautiful) ending of season 2.

This is my own interpretation, I have no intention of telling anyone they’re wrong <3

In s2ep6, when Crowley left Aziraphale’s shop, he waited by the Bentley, so sure that Aziraphale would change his mind. Giving him a chance to turn around right then and there. He’s full of anger and despair, and while I recognize that he’s probably angry with himself, I’m sure that- at least to some extent- he knows his self worth. He didn’t leave until the window of opportunity had fully shut. I can’t imagine him fully devolving into self hatred over this and blaming himself, or viewing this as a sign that he’s not good enough- as he said himself, Heaven is toxic, he knows first hand the way things are run up there and how quick they are to take control of things to their advantage or discard things they don’t like. I refuse to believe that he’s blind to the fact it’s Heaven that’s taken Aziraphale away from him, he don’t drive Aziraphale away himself.

Perhaps I am being too generous in thinking Crowley is not so oblivious, but I have to believe he knows Aziraphale loves him. After everything they’ve been through, relying on each other, the team that they were and the quiet lives they made for themselves, everything about that screams love and devotion. Upon hearing that Aziraphale had been offered this position as archangel, he had assumed he’d turned it down, thinking they both knew that their life together was the best they could hope for. Crowley would also have to be deaf to miss the point that, in his pleas to go to heaven, Aziraphale was asking for it to be their Heaven, where they could go together. Not to mention the way he says “I need you” in such heartbreaking desperation… they relied on each other for all this time, so if Crowley can recognize what it means to himself, how he feels towards Aziraphale, I can only hope he’d know the same is true in return.

“You idiot. We could’ve been us.” This is not someone wallowing in self hate or wondering where he went wrong. He’s angry, at heaven, at hell, quite possibly at the All Mighty, and yes, at Aziraphale. But he knows the ways of Heaven, he knows what they’d do to keep their order. If he couldn’t run away from Heaven then he might find a way to let it burn. Whatever theories are floating around, “coffee theory” or whatever- it’s universally understood that Heaven is manipulative and is actively doing harm to Aziraphale, mentally and emotionally if not physically as well (I’m personally against the coffee theory but you do you), and they are at fault.

I will shut up about this soon but Aziraphale had come a long way from when we first saw him in the beginning of Good Omens, when Adam had just been delivered. Him referring to Crowley as if he was part of hell and on the side of the demons , “You’re the bad guys”, set off alarms all over because they’ve worked past this. This was especially established centuries prior as they met with Job, seen earlier in the season. To me it reads as someone falling into old habits as they renter the cycle of abuse. A cycle that Crowley managed to escape.

I understand why Aziraphale did what he did and I can understand how he got to this point. Aziraphale’s not an idiot, I’m sure he’s got some plan that kept him going even when everything pointed towards the fact he shouldn’t go, like the mentioning of the Second Coming. It was a painfully beautiful scene, but I do not blame him. Crowley is not an idiot either, even if he may be a bit of a dumbass sometimes (affectionately). I can only hope he’d recognize these things too.

[aelaer]

Alright, let’s take that follow up ask 😂

18. What are some tropes that others love, but you just tend to avoid?

Or something along those lines. Things you like/dislike. What marks the difference between a “good” and a “great” fic for you?

Whelp I lost my draft as I started this. I figured that's as good a sign as any to save this as a draft and review it a few times to make sure I'm critical of the *genre and trope* and not the individual writing it. And yes I think they're two *very* distinct things. And I'd like to piss off as few people (who aren't blocked) as possible while still remaining true to myself. We'll see how successful it is.

Cut cuz it got long and if folks click it thinking they might get mad, and then get mad, well, you can't say I didn't warn you. I don't like quite a few popular tropes in a lot of stories you see Stephen in. And I'll not hide my own opinions on my own blog. 😜 What's the terminology? Don't like, don't read? Yeah, if (general) you don't like strong opinions that might go against yours, don't read on. You've been warned!

Let's start with some of the most popular AO3 tropes, taken from the 2016 Fanfic Survey from Fansplaining. Here's the top 20 tropes across the survey and if I dislike it, I have bolded it and have a comment beside it. Otherwise I'm indifferent to it or I like the trope.

Friends to Lovers

Canon-divergent Alternate Universes

Slow Burn

Rescue Missions/Saving Each Other

Bed Sharing (aka One Hotel Room Left) Honestly I find this trope really stupid in most circumstances. It just makes me roll my eyes. This isn't to say that fics with this trope are badly written, I just... think the situation's really contrived. There's better ways to explore pining.

Teamwork

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Huddling for Warmth I only dislike it if it's adding unnecessary sexual tension. Like if you're in a perilous situation you don't need to talk about how omg touching him makes you feel things. It's like - dude you're gonna lose fingers otherwise. Characters, you need to shut the fuck up, this is not the right time. You guys can be romantic later. Hell this even counts for established relationships; characters getting aroused when they're in actual perilous situations is one of my biggest pet peeves in romance. It's dumb. (Note- this doesn't count if they're joking about it, joking is a great coping mechanism. I mean legit horniness as they're half-dead or something. What the fuck. Exception if the author explicitly lists being in legit perilous situations as a fetish in which case, good for author for that creativity.)

Mutual Pining

Established Relationship

Fix-it Fic

Isolated or Trapped (e.g. in a cave, a Canadian shack, etc.)

Missing scenes or fill-in fic

Everyone Knows They're In Love

Unresolved Sexual Tension

Fake Relationship (incl. Married for a Case and Marriage of Convenience)

Pining

Worldbuilding

Only 2 out of the top 20, not bad! Most are "take it or leave it" but some I like so yay.

Okay now for the next part.

On my Doctor Strange AO3 filtered page that I have up in perpetuity on my phone, I have the following filters applied to exclude (which takes off about 20% of all fics in the category from sight). Ordered from least likely to offend to most likely to offend others:

Non-English fics

Peter Parker/Stephen Strange

Stephen Strange/Reader

Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly & Not Steve Rogers Friendly

An honorable spicy mention that isn't easily filtered so I don't filter it but I get into it below. It involves Peter.

Not English fics: With as picky a reader as I am, auto Google Translate simply doesn't work well for me. Trust me, I've tried and I was very sad when translate proved to be less than great. I wish I could speak/read all languages.

Peter/Stephen: I had to block this one because it was just coming up too much after NWH, but America/Stephen falls here as well (it's just significantly rarer and I can easily skip those fics). No hard feelings to those who write/ship it because they're, you know, fictional, but I'm definitely not a fan of the trope. Underage with two minors already skeeves me out, underage with a middle aged man and a minor is a big no-go unless the adult is framed as a villain in the narrative (and with luck gets justice served to him). But in the shipping sense this isn't usually the case in the story, and while some authors do a great job in showing it's not right/good, this isn't my flavor of Stephen at all. Even villain Stephen.

In the case the minors are aged up to be legal, I still dislike it. I find it incredibly creepy IRL when a person goes for someone who is young enough to be their child, and I can't separate that feeling in the fiction I read for the most part. The exception to this rule is when the person is like over 35 - by that age you know if you want to be with a 55 year old, and you have all that life experience. But there's so much growing done in the 20s and a lot of life experience that nothing but time can provide.

Finally, I find men in their 40s who are looking for someone (especially a girl) 24 or younger incredibly immature and, frankly put, the absolute opposite of dignified and sexy. There are exceptions of course, but my good guy!Stephen doesn't fall into that category. He's interested in brains, personality, and life experience, with looks being like, the 4th factor, haha, so no need for such a large age gap. Again, just skeeves me out.

Stephen Strange/Reader: I wouldn't have blocked it if it wasn't so prevalent, but it's literally Stephen's second-most popular ship. All respect to anyone who enjoys reader-insert fics, but I just... don't. The handful of times I've tried it I couldn't see myself as the supposed character because they were so different from who I am as a person. "Choose your own adventure" books that I read in my youth worked for me because I had choices in steering the story; that's not the case in reader fics so I'm left seeing "myself" doing things that I'd never do in a million years. That contradiction just makes me unable to appreciate them myself.

Big reason I don't have that problem with OCs is because they're not me, and so I don't have that weird contradictory feeling while reading the fic. They're another person so I can appreciate them as another character, especially if Stephen manages to stay in character within the story. But as romance isn't a genre I actively look for, I don't tend to look out for OC fics either as they're usually super romance-heavy as opposed to the romance being a side plot (which is how I get through canon char romances - if it's a side plot in the very long story I'll get through it for juicy plot).

Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly & Not Steve Rogers Friendly: Blocking these two covers the majority of the stories that are not other-character friendly, and it blocks almost all Civil War Team Iron Man fics, so these two tags cover basically the entire gauntlet of that type of MCU fic. Ever since AO3 canonicalized those tags my blood pressure has lowered significantly and it's made browsing AO3 so much less stressful.

I'll say it up front: I don't think a fic can be good writing if it's written to be Not Team Cap Friendly. That's not to say that the writer themselves is incapable of writing quality works because that's usually not the case. But for works with that specific trope, I do not think that work can be good. A significant factor of what I consider good fanfic writing/bad fanfic writing is characterization, and the characterization is usually butchered in this genre of fic.

If an author chooses only to write this trope POV, all the more power to them. However, I think they are limiting their capabilities in choosing to ignore the grey storytelling the MCU brought to the story and are definitely limiting their visions by choosing to view these grey characters and their grey choices as black and white/good and bad with all the nuances erased. And because those choices are made, I don't think that the fic that comes out with those limitations can be considered good writing. And here are the reasons why, largely centering around characterization:

The only way these fics work is by making Steve completely OOC. I've seen writers erase all his leadership capabilities established in the first 3 films he was in, his ability to think fast on his feet, any sign of intelligence that is firmly established in the first three films he was in, and make him callous in a way that he hasn't ever shown in canon. I've seen writers make Steve unaware of email, I've seen them say that he never led men in WW2 (and isn't an actual captain), and most ridiculously, I've seen them say he was trying to kill Tony in Siberia and left him for dead there and completely ignore all his training in that if he wanted to kill Tony, he very well could have. (And ignore that T'Challa was there as well ffs - that's another rant.) But yes - this is all OOC to Steve's character. If someone wants to know why saying Steve trying to kill Tony in Siberia is OOC and thus not Steve friendly, send me a separate ask as I have a write up on Discord that I can bring here if folks want clarification on that front.

If you have to make other characters OOC to make your best boy shine better, I don't trust you to write best boy well. And usually he isn't. Tony is a terribly flawed character which is why he's so so so interesting, but Not Team Cap friendly fics are determined to erase all of Tony's flaws and everything that makes him interesting. For instance, I've seen Tony suddenly become an expert negotiator and politician, ignoring both IM2 and his lack of finesse with Ross in CW (this isn't him delegating the work to lawyers/PR people - this is in fics where he's the figurehead behind this because he's suddenly an expert political negotiator). Then in some fics Tony's suddenly a socialist, ignoring the fact that he's made his fortune and still makes money from his corporation and there's nothing in canon that suggests that he ain't still benefiting from the capitalist institution. He's *generous*, absolutely, and I headcanon he put in hundreds of millions into rebuilding Sokovia - but he's not suddenly a socialist. He's a rich white man with rich white man privileges and while he's doing his best to make good in the world, he has benefits that the rest of the world just doesn't. And Tony's still arrogant and it can still be hard to work with him and erasing all those flaws makes him just... not Tony. He's just this bland vanilla OOC caricature.

In a lot of "not team cap friendly" fics I see a tag along the lines of "actions have consequences". If that's the case, why the hell wasn't Tony prosecuted for making Ultron? Wanda didn't force him to make anything - she amplified his fears, absolutely, but he made the robot. In secret. And that robot killed a city. Tony in CW is rightfully really regretful about it - but if actions actually had consequences and Tony tried to get Team Cap like, jailed or forcefully retired (like he or his friends do in some fics), Nat should strike back and tell everyone that he was behind Ultron. IT'S LIKE EVERY CHARACTER MAKES MISTAKES OR SOMETHING AND THAT NONE OF THEM ARE PERFECT. WHAT A THOUGHT. And that's why that tag is not very well thought out. The tag ignores the stark (hah) fact that all Avengers have made mistakes, some of them major - and Tony's absolutely not exempt from that. And his mistake-making didn't stop after he became Iron Man.

All of Tony's friends ignore that Tony recruited a 15 year old to Germany and guess what? Pepper and Rhodey aren't Tony boot-lickers. They'd give him the appropriate "What the fuck were you thinking" language because yeah, that was fucked up! Ignoring that happened is another big item in these type of fics.

Stephen's personality is typically bland and he often has no life beyond Tony's in these type of fics. He definitely has no opinions on the Avengers that *differ* from Tony because him having his own opinions, or taking the time to form his own opinions from his own interactions, would be showing more nuance and depth than these fics want to get into.

Stephen's often petty and violent, especially towards Steve - and again completely ignores all of Tony's mistakes because Tony doesn't make horrific mistakes, oh no! I'd argue the petty violence is OOC, but fucking DS2 and fucking Waldron Jossed that. So if you want that petty violence, it's technically seen on screen, but that's a *Waldron* idea so... yeah. I don't know any big Stephen fan who is particularly fond of Waldron and what he brought to Stephen's character. But this whole essay is about OOC characterization so I can't argue that this is OOC anymore. Fucking Waldron.

Like Stephen, Rhodey and Pepper also lose their personalities and ability to argue with Tony because Tony is always right. Rhodey forgets that Tony is a billionaire and can easily go use a lab in Stark Industries buildings across the country, or go to one of his many homes that all billionaires have because they're *billionaires*, if he *has* to avoid Steve for some reason. Rhodey also forgets that Tony could handle this with the best therapist money can by if he can't physically handle being in a room with someone he dislikes. If Steve actually tried to kill him in a fic, please go back to the first bullet point on this list. An IC Steve wouldn't so there wouldn't be that fear of more physical retaliation because Steve wouldn't be trying to stop Tony from killing Bucky, so again, unless Tony tries to kill Bucky once more, the situation won't escalate to violence. But yes, in these fics, Rhodey would prefer that the civil rights breaking Accords that allow indefinite imprisonment with no promise of trial stand. He'd rather the rest of the Avengers remain fugitives with no home because he forgets his friend is a billionaire with virtually unlimited resources to go wherever he wants and to get the help he needs. The growth we see in his stance that came with IW after he saw the Accords' rollout just poofs away.

Pepper tends to be turned into a secretary again just there to help with Tony's emotional needs instead of a powerful CEO whose really fucking busy running a company.

So with an OOC Steve, it usually leads to an OOC Tony, OOC Rhodey, OOC Pepper, and OOC Stephen. And that is why I consider these fics bad.

There may be exceptions to this, but when I was still attempting the tag in 2019, I never found a fic under the tag that was an exception. I stopped trying the last 3 or so years. And unless you're an author who's written in that tag and you want me to read your story and want to try to change my mind (because you're a masochist? why would you want to do this to yourself?), don't send me those fics. 99% I'm going to find them bad.

I'm not gonna subject those authors to the above opinion because they enjoy the black/white world and they have a huge readership who loves that crack. And good for them! That doesn't change my opinion that I think it's lousy writing because characterization is 70% of my opinion of a fic. If you have all this OOC characterization in a non-crack/parody fic, I just won't have a high opinion. And I'll say it in my own space under a cut, but I'm not going to search you out anymore - I haven't since 2019 (early 2020 was the cut off). Writers have the right to write what's popular - and I can dislike that popular content. But it's a lucrative readership and if that black and white world brings you joy, then all the more power to you.

Important: Not character-friendly fics are different from Dark!character fics. Dark character fics acknowledge that in canon, the characters are written as protagonists and heroes, and the author is purposefully changing this. In not character friendly fics, the author is usually inventing something stupid or terrible (and often enough ooc) for the character to have done/not done to strengthen the position of their chosen protagonist, or is ignoring canon traits of the character to, again, strengthen the position of their chosen protagonist. This is especially seen with Steve.

Honorable mention: I dislike the majority of fics (no idea of percentage but very likely over 50%) labeled Supreme Family, *strictly* due to how Peter is treated. Let me explain.

Peter is an incredibly independent teenager living in NYC with his own friends and his own brains and solo superheroing the majority of the time. These fics have a tendency to erase all of this, making him overly reliant on Tony, making him act as if he's aged between 8 to 12 rather than 15 to 18, and erasing his connection to May, Ned, and MJ. His whole life is made secondary to be part of the Tony Stark fanclub and it's *weird*. Peter is so much more than his connection to Tony and fans of this trope sometimes forget this.

I'll give a real world example. There's a large age gap between my sister and myself, so I got to see her in her teenage years while I was an adult. She's smart, fiercely independent, and had good friends and extra curricular activities throughout high school just like Peter did. We had family dinner together on occasion but she wanted to be doing her own thing as much as possible. She'd text my parents for the "Hey I'm alive" check ins but otherwise? She was AWOL as much as she could get away with.

Peter may be less so, especially if May insists on dinner together at least a couple times a week with his form of extracurricular activities, but I cannot emphasize enough how Peter having his own life is so important to his character and him being around Tony most of his free time outside of school and Spider-Man is *weird*. Even if he likes him!

This is just one teenager in my example, but a staple of teenagers is finding their independence as they grow into adulthood. Clinging to other adult figures does not tend to be the trend with those who have a big independence streak.

Peter in canon is all about establishing his independence - and you could see this especially throughout all of Homecoming. His independence is integral to his character. And if Tony was his adopted dad in the fic, I'd say him always hanging out with him is doubly weird because, again, independence. It's a major part of most teenagers and it's very well established in Peter's personality.

So yeah. Fic writers please stop writing him like a 10 year old unless he's actually 10 in the fic. Let him live his own life in the Supreme Family trope. Let him go out with friends and do after school clubs and not go to Tony's lab after school every day of the week because it's just not him and his movies established that very well. Let him get annoyed at the tracking and let him yell at his parental figures because conflict is normal. Let him be a teenager.

(And as someone who loves Found Family, I can't emphasize enough how much that theme falls short if the characters within the family forget their independence and lives outside of the family. It's just no fun.)

So yeah. Have all these spicy hot takes!

[sottountrenopersherl]

Hi everyone! I've been reading a lot of "Klaus x reader" fanfics lately and they have inspired me to write my own.

I want you to know that English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes in my writing.

I always do my research in order to use the correct form but I don't know if I always succeed in doing so.

I'm also extremely anxious, so be kind, please.

I present to you my first "Klaus x reader" fanfic.

A/N: this fanfic is thought for a fem!reader but I never specify the gender as I use y/n, so I think that it could also be considered gender-neutral

TW: mentions of self-harm, anxiety

681 words

Summary: Klaus comforts an anxious reader

Scratches

This isn't a good period for you. You're very stressed because of school but you don't want to be a burden for your family or friends.

So you just suffer in silence. But you have to vent all this nervousness in some way.

You begin to scratch your skin. You make sure not to leave any mark to be seen. Or so you thought.

You're studying when suddenly you hear the doorbell: it's your best friend Klaus. You've known each other since you were little and he knows about your anxiety but he doesn't know that it is that bad.

You go open the door and, as soon as he enters your house, he gives you a big hug. You feel safe. You stay a little longer than usual because, honestly, you need it.

"Are you ok y/n?" he asks. "Yes. Does it bother you if we stay like this for another minute or so?"

"Of course not, my dear, but are you sure that everything's alright?"

At this point you can't hide it anymore.

You sob and then you start crying, your fingers tightening their grip on his back.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm here. Don't worry."

He holds you closer and caresses your hair to calm you down.

After a few minutes he pulls back and looks you in the eyes, his hands cupping your cheeks.

You don't want to look at him. You're ashamed of yourself.

"Look at me. Hey. Look at me." he repeats.

Finally you look at him.

"What's wrong?"

You spit it all out. You tell him everything. You're anxious all the time. You think you can't do it. You consider yourself a total failure.

"I swear y/n, you're the best person I've ever met. You've always helped me. I hadn't realised that you were struggling this much. It's just that you hide it so well. I'm so sorry I haven't noticed it before. But now I'm here and we'll go through this together.

Tears keep falling from your eyes as you stare at him. Even if he has offered to help you and you know he will, you feel bad because you don't want him to see this side of you.

Suddenly, you notice that he is examining your arm. You panick.

"What is that?" he asks with a concerning look.

"Nothing." you reply, covering it with the sleeve of your cardigan.

"Let me see it."

"Klaus..." you let out, shaking your head and slowly stepping back.

"Please, I just want to help you. You know that I care about you."

You understand that you can't escape and finally sit on the couch.

He takes a seat next to you.

You lift the sleeve, revealing a series of red marks all over your arm.

"Y/n..." he whispers.

"I know. I know I shouldn't do that but when I'm nervous I scratch my arm. It helps me to cope with my anxiety."

He takes your arm and gently traces the marks with his fingers. Then he proceeds to leave soft kisses on each of the red spots while holding your hand. Finally he kisses your hand and goes back to look at you.

"I'm so sorry you had to face all of this alone. Just know that from now on I will be there when you need me. I'll do anything I can to help you feel better." he says placing a hand on your cheek.

You take his hand and keep it there as you close your eyes for a moment.

"Thank you Klaus. I really appreciate it. And I appreciate you. I'm glad to have you in my life. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"As I said, you've always been there for me and now I want to do the same for you."

You look at him, thinking how lucky you are.

"Can I get another hug?" you ask him.

"Of course, darling, but you have to promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Next time, don't ask me." he says as he holds you tight.

"I promise." you whisper against his chest.

[impunkster-syndrome]

One thing that sucks is deconstructing the reactions of disgust in myself in order to sort out what paraphilias are disordered or not. Not even about contact stances, but determining which are harmful to myself or others in any way and thus need coping skills.

As I still process the fact that a lot of what I experienced as a very young child was in line with emotional incest even from the side of my family that isn't with my rapist, it's hard. The incest paraphilia probably was greatly contributed to all the times my mom walked into my room at night to wake me up because she was having an anxiety attack and I had to take care of her as a kid. My feelings for family members aren't exactly romantic, but, unidentifiable. It's like looking at a puddle of paint and trying to separate the color the more I try to figure it out. Everything mixes and blends and it gets more distressing because I can't tell what I feel.

Even with a part of my in-system identity, it's complex. It's not like I don't have the thoughts of flirting with any Mukuro, but my immediate reaction isn't disgust like most people. I was actually writing a whole fanfic with Mukuro as Junko's favorite person and having her struggle with being bordersexual and her FP being a sibling. No action was going to be taken, but just how distressing it can be since I've felt similar ways.

Disgust isn't my first nature with some things. For many, it is, and that disgust shapes their lives and how they treat others.

It feels like I'm kind of left behind for not having that. But, disgust is reactionary, and not really based on facts in a lot of cases.

It just really makes me think of the lyric "I guess we just evolved disgust for prevention of infection" and how some people like me are also believed we should die for not being the typical.

So, I'm including my disordered paraphilias in disability pride month. I want to recover.

[simp-for-enrico-maxwell]

Mental state of Enrico [headcanons]

TW: I will be talking here about some mental disorders, PTSD, coping, alcohol abuse, and SA. So if any of these are triggering for you - please skip this post.

Okay, so... Some of these are more connected to canon Enrico, but some of them are inclining towards Enrico from my fanfics/the way I portray him. Which means that you can have different point of view, and that's valid! After all - these are just headcanons.

• I should start with the fact, that I diagnosed Maxwell with narcissistic personality disorder. I won't list all of the symptoms, just a brief description of this disorder: “mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.” - Feel like there is no need for further explanation, but if you want to read more, here is a link for the source

• But it would be boring to see him struggle just with this, right??? So of course that I added SA and harassment from a priest/member of Iscariot. Yeah, yeah, I know it's kinda a basic, over-used trope, but I just felt like adding this to his backstory, because I like to dive into psychological stuff and I seriously wanted to write what kind of impact this had on Maxwell.

• In my storyline he had been harassed since like six to thirteen/fourteen, till he started locking the door of his room. (It was during the time, he was already living in Iscariot headquarters because he had been in the training for a while.) And he was mostly molested in his sleep, because the said priest had somnophilia aka “sleeping princess syndrome”.

• I feel like I don't have to explain why Enrico never told anyone. - Because of his pride. He would feel ashamed admitting that someone did this to him, and that he was completely helpless to it. So he rather kept this to himself, “saving” himself from public embarrassment.

• I dare to say that these events gave him some sort of PTSD, which made him scared about sudden physical touch. (Especially if it's in his sleep. - That can trigger a full-on panic attack.) And nightmares are a casual thing for him, even though now they aren't that common. - So that's why he never lets anyone to get too close, and hugging is definitely NOT and option.

• He never opened about this not even to people that were close to him - Yumie and Heinkel - because he was terrified of them wanting to do something about this situation and confronting the said priest. He chose path of a loner - someone who will become the greatest man alive and will look down on all the people that did him wrong.

• Despite all of this Maxwell never thought about self-harm nor suicide. He saw these things as something pathetic and miserable, and he would never let himself to sink so low. In this he was the exact opposite - he started aiming as high as possible, to achieve power that would help him to cope. (If you are actually struggling with this: No, you are NOT pathetic nor miserable. My man is just an idiot with twisted thoughts. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, please, don’t be scared to ask for help. You matter.)

• That's also why he stayed in church/Iscariot. His view on God kinda changed (“He can't be real. If he was real... Why would he let me suffer like this?”), but he became fanatic in his own way. - Twisted man in need of power great enough to help him cope with his trauma.

• But being in charge wasn't his only way of coping. - Through the years Enrico developed another unhealthy habit, which was drinking alcohol in order to cleanse his mind. When he got the position of leader of Iscariot, he started enjoying expensive and luxury wines not only from Italy but also France. He doesn't drink every day, but when he gets in this certain state of mind, he is able to drink two or three bottles all alone.

• Since he was never taught to show his emotions nor talk about his feelings, he started bottling everything up, growing more distant and cold to everyone around him. Yet he made it look like he just grew up very quickly, and that he just became a very wise and disciplined young man.

• The only emotions he is capable of showing up are frustration, anger, and disappointment.

[erenthegreywolf]

Major JatP Spoilers (and really long)

I just fucking watched Julie and the Phantoms for the first time finally after just seeing memes/fanfics/posts and the entire soundtrack for it and I'm

I can't believe that show exists like it is so unbelievable how good it is I WILL go into detail rn -

So ofc I can't remember everything that happened, I was busy holding back tears, shouting fuck you at the tv, singing, and quoting fucking everything

and I mean I did happily yell gay when Willex appeared I love them (and when Reggie and Luke did anything I mean cmon) but I DID start up the show again to go through as I write this

the dahlias were a beautiful addition to the sets and I- THE RANDOM LADY gives Julie one when she's crying for her mom in the Orpheum alley??? PLEASE THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

getting ahead of myself and very out of order ok ok BUT having all the context for the show really gives me a new perspective like

everyone is hurting so much and I could only fully grasp it now after seeing it and I mean 9 episodes did A LOT

everyone has noticed it before but Luke's missing person poster literally behind him as they eat the hot dogs is like?? the set designers were ON TOP OF IT and I love this little detail so much makes me freak every time because the attention to even the SMALLEST detail and it gave us some insight into Luke if we noticed

and do NOT get me started on the fucking ACTING everyone is so good at all of it, like how Madison portrayed Julie being just broken over her mom and Charlie going from loud to insanely soft and quiet as he says "I am… so sorry" and Jeremy being good ol' happy Reggie until the FUCKING "You guys are the only family I have" LINE and the Willex interactions are amazing Owen and Booboo were great together I could go on huyvyibh

THEN THE CALEB FORESHADOW??? AND IT GETS BRIGHTER AS JULIE SINGS WAKE UP????? and it is so fun that some of the episodes just pick up right where the last one left off

And the show outright saying yes, Alex is gay was so mindblowing to me like I don't think I have EVER seen a show do that (but I could be living under a rock) and when the boys tell Julie to give Luke a chance and they watch him as he watches his PARENTS on his BIRTHDAY it was so fucking painful and then THEN Unsaid Emily.

But first, when Julie asks "Who's Emily?" thinking she's someone Luke liked and Luke is so panicked to change the subject he can't even talk about her, how he cut Alex off when he went to explain I gycuvyv

And how they all react to seeing Bobby again and learning he stole all their songs like they are so angry and hurt by this and I understand fully why they want revenge when music is literally EVERYTHING to Luke

but like what it could be like for Bobby? he goes to a therapist still so he might not be over losing his boys still and just him completely taken aback that they're back? he can SEE them and they're playing music with what is basically his niece? how he's shaking after the Orpheum because he has actually seen his boys again after YEARS of them gone? now I understand why they're mad at him but it could have been Bobby's way of coping with losing all of his band and quite possibly the closest friends/family he has ever had

it hurt when they would jump to the boys at the club and then back to Julie alone at the dance, and when they did show up and found her just devastated that they left her hanging hurts SO MUCH worse, like she completely thought they'd show and they didn't and she said it was a MISTAKE god I cant

and now I'm circling back, having the context for Unsaid Emily is both amazingly beautiful and devastatingly soul crushing, all Luke EVER wanted was to connect with people through his music and show his parents that he COULD and CAN make it and PLEASE the music for this show was fucking amazing

and I am foaming at the mouth over Julie giving the Pattersons Unsaid Emily and Luke having to step out but INSTRUMENTAL UNSAID EMILY IN THE BACKGROUND I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS NOT IN TEARS BAWLING AND SCREAMING

Ok and how the love triangle wasn't forced like Nick knows and STATES that he missed his chance, there was no who does Julie want? nO it was always gonna be Luke (but I respectfully turn my eyes away tho i can appreciate more Juke now)

and the ENTIRE scene when Flynn finds the Sunset Curve shirt and talks about Rose sending the boys to Julie was so good

WILLEX HUG WAS SO PAINFUL AND WONDERFUL like Alex hesitates but then just does and Willie is surprised but then just hugs him tighter in return AND THEN ALEX SAYING HE'S OK???

but I loved Luke saying "Alex, no dancing" and Alex fucking dancing and AND JATP OPENING FOR P!ATD IBIYVBb and the entire scene of them waiting for and getting the call from the Orpheum was gold, just mwah mwah mwAH

AND STAND TALL WITH CONTEXT TOO??? i am so heartbroken and destroyed but utterly ALIVE over Stand Tall and really any of the fuckin songs from the soundtrack but Stand Tall, she thought the boys were gone but then they come back to her and i-

and the GARAGE SCENE PLEASE the boys crying and she literally TELLS THEM TO KEEP EXISTING and THEN "No music is worth making, Julie, if we're not making it with you" I CAN NOT WITH THIS HEARTBREAK NO REGRETS

but oh my GOD THE HUG and REGGIE'S SINGLE TEAR AND THEN LUKE LIKE "I think the band's back" fuck shit god DAMMIT I LIKE THIS TOO REGGIE

And sure, I will say that some characters annoyed me, like Tia Victoria and Carrie i mean i didn't like them but I understand them I guess?

Tia just kinda made me mad since they had to remove the plate from the extra chair for Rose from her and I-

And Carrie was just so mean to Julie it annoyed me mostly but Savannah played her really well like how she reacted when Julie went on the play Finally Free and how she STOOD UP IN AWE at Stand Tall jfebvibf

and yes yes I freaked tf out over the chemistry moment and when Alex danced with Dirty Candy or any of the Ray&Reggie moments or just Ray on screen in general (them distracting him by asking him about his CAMERA?? jhvyughbhu)

-

But in all, Julie and the Phantoms was such an amazing show. Kenny Ortega and Paul Becker and literally EVERYONE on staff did a wonderful job with this show. It has helped millions of people through different problems and gave joy back to those who might have needed it. JatP was literally gold and I don't think anything will be able to even come CLOSE to matching it for a long time, if not ever. That may be a bold statement, but the show was canceled and we're all still here, hoping and waiting for this beautiful masterpiece to come back.

I hate that JatP was canceled and I'm so utterly destroyed that these boys, Ray, Julie, Carlos, and everyone else might never come back. But what I can say is that I got to watch this little piece of Heaven and I am so glad I did. I ranted and I raved about all the little things I liked in this, and I definitely didn't point out everything I liked, but this post summed it up pretty well I think.

I don't think I will ever feel this strongly for something ever again. After seeing so much content for JatP and finally seeing it after months of wanting to, the hype and how I thought I would see this show lived up to the real thing.

Really, I don't know how to end this and I've gone from fuckin rambling nonsense to writing an essay?? have fun reading this? just get me out bye

[songbirdsandsugar-moved]

🌟 What inspired you to create/choose this muse? 

She started off as a character in a fanfiction I was writing AGES ago. I don't remember everything that went into her exactly. I kinda had a rough idea of what I wanted her to be in order to fit into the story I was creating, and she really just ended up taking on a life of her own. I fell in love with her while I was writing her, and decided to RP her on here, and she's grown and changed and evolved. The core parts of her backstory have always remained (the car crash, her mom's illness, her inability to cope, and eventual institutionalization), but there's so much now that's been changed and added and changed again.

And while I've created plenty of OCs for fanfics before, she's the only one I've ever RPed. She's the only one that's ever truly embodied being a muse. She just stuck to me. I fell in love with her. Even though I'm the creator of her trauma, it met my own trauma, and I think writing her became a way for me to cope.

[leonscape]

Hello there I hope not to bother I read your post about asking thing to fanfic authors and I got curious like how did you created each one of your OC, and whole series with the princes and also how did you manage to keep the inspiration steady through all the chapters ? I wish you a nice day, please continue your wonderful wrting 😊

Hi ^_^

You’re not bothering, all questions are welcome!

It’s actually a long story haha. You see, I was surfing the internet as one does, and I came across fanart of female Leon. So then I thought, what if the princes were princesses? It wasn’t that interesting to me so I thought, what if they had daughters? The idea of Leon having a daughter has me in a choke hold I do not want to escape from. But I decided to give some of them sons. I evened them out, distributing four daughters and four sons among them and boom, my kids were born. That’s the reason why all of my kids might seem very similar to their fathers and not their mothers; I developed the children first, without mothers.

So in order to tell the kids’ story, I kinda needed them to have moms because where else are they going to come from? And then gradually, I started to shape my OC’s. Taking inspiration from each prince’s respective route, thinking about what kind of person they would like, how each OC would react to their prince, those sort of things.

I’d like to give a special thanks to the people that translate the jp content because it has allowed me to make OC’s from both Benotoite and Jade you guys are awesome 😮‍💨💕 And that’s how I ended up with 15 original characters, plus more to help tell their story.

As for keeping the inspiration, I’m not sure how I got this far. I have this habit of intense daydreaming pretty sure it’s a coping mechanism. Sometimes I think about it so much that I start to feel sick. I will think up of scenes to write and if it’s sad, I will start to cry. So it’s mainly about getting this story out of the 15 file cabinets in my head, and onto the page.

The problem I’m having now is figuring out what each of them look like. I’m really bad at imagining physical appearances. That’s why if you read my stuff, you’ll notice it doesn’t have much physical description and it’s mostly dialogue. I prefer to portray them through how they speak. When I imagine the scenes, I don’t really see them? They’re more like a feeling to me. Like a ball of energy that has a name.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough. Thank you for your question and taking an interest! I hope you have a wonderful day💕💕💕