#it doesnt matter but i cant tell you how many times when i was in active weightloss journey
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
realizing that communication actually doesnt matter as much as ppl say it does, bc most ppl glorify it and see it as a magical solution when in fact communicating your feelings/wants/needs only work if other ppl are receptible to it. which... most ppl arent, both bc many dont want to bc it requires too much effort of them and it's easier to shift blame on others not "communicating", but also bc many many ppl just have brains that arent wired to understand others, or other viewpoints and perspectives. thus, no level of communication will make someone who isnt capable of receiving it hear you. most efforts to "communicate" are completely wasted. and it's frustrating, but what can u do?
#one of my main examples of this is...#i clearly stated in the beginning of someone expressing potential interest in me#that i have feelings for someone and i cant help that or do anything abt and its just how it is#but that person continued to call me stupid for not just stopping my feelings for my person#thats just an example *i* FEEL is obvious#even if u tell someone or warn someone or give someone a head ups#if they arent capable of comprehending it or you... it wont matter#they will still hurt / punish / get mad at u for not being what they want#so yeah... makes me wanna scream#humans are just too much fkn pain in the ass </3#i barely even see the point in being upfront or direct or honest anymore#it doesnt even fucking matter bc apparently most ppl are fkn incapable of hearing u 😒#i've always thought it so important to be considerate to others#not waste their time... not give them fair warnings etc etc#but more and more i feel like 9/10 they just fkn lash out on u anyway#maybe i should just be sketchy and dodgy and vague distant and detached and avoidant like everyone else is#and just protect myself and my own selfish desires and needs and wishes. everyone else does that.#i just am not wired to look at ppl and see what they can give me or what i can use them for#thats why i often am just upfront and honest. i dont see ppl as merchandise or their sole purpose being to serve me and my needs#im just a human and theyre a human and we have a mutual thing going#but no. nooooo. thats how *i* work. i've learned that now#most (not all but far too many im tired) look at others and automatically calculate how they can use them#what they can get out of talking to u. what they can take and get from u. how to make u act the way they want to#idk where im going with this.... uh. i just dont see the point in communicating. ppl dont listen..#bc they dont want to cummincate. they want u to shut up and act like the marionette they see u as. they dont wanna hear u out or understand#they want u to just behave and act how they tell u. thus communicating is a total waste of energy 9/10 times#like .. for example on here. i can put like warning im mentally ill in my bio. but ppl will still be personally affeonted when i act that#way to myself ... most ppl just are not capable of listening to others or processing the fact that others dont exist for them#it doesnt matter how much u try to be honest or direct or upfront bc they dont care. they dont hear it. they wont adjust or respect u.#so why even bother communicating? or warn? or be direct? none of that even makes a lick of difference its so futile
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#good grief im gettin a lil tired of seeing 'DONT DO THIS' kinda art videos#i very much understand its a youtube thing and that clickbait names and thumbs get the views and attention needed#but it doesnt mean it doesnt annoy me or that I cant be annoyed by it#sometimes i just see it in tutorial pictures too#but the large DONTS with red Xs near the supposed ''wrong'' way of drawing is so demotivating#people start and draw in many ways than one#its what makes art their own#but when videos or tutorial posts are made and show the ''WRONG'' way to go about it#its like scolding the new artist or long time artist with that style that they're doing it wrong and that its bad#no matter the intention its not the way to go about helping artists learn to draw#and in my personal opinion#the click bait ''DONT DO THIS WHEN DRAWING'' thing is what keeps me from actually watching the vids#i get theyre probably helpful but i don't like that I have to feel some NEED or DESIRE to click on a vid cause I feel like I did a thing#wrong or that i never should have done it at all#i wish i could see more 'here are some tips that helped me#kinda vids cause yes i would love to learn what helped you rather than being or feeling wronged for drawing in a way that isn't theirs#im rambling but i have been seeing a lot of 'DONT DO THIS' NEVER DO THIS' 'IF YOURE DOING THIS STOP NOW' kinda art vids#im speakin for myself here#but im an artist sifting through art youtube or spaces always willing to learn new ways of improving my art#i dont need to feel click baited like the next 3am don't this kid to learn how to improve my inking skills#if it was more a 'this is my personal preference and I wanna share it with my audience and maybe teach some things' kinda vid#id watch that too#but im just so tired of seeing art youtube going down this need to tell folks 'YOURE DOING IT ALL WRONG. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY"
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so awful at orienting new people idk why they keep giving them to me. Like truly I suck at it
#and i cant tell if its ME being a bad preceptor or if my orientee just sucks/isnt ready for hospital healthcare#so much of this shit is just a matter of commen sense to me that it doesnt occur to me that some folks are absolutely clueless#and like!!! if i dont know i go find out! i ask! i research!#like if i dont know how or why or when to do something i just ask. but a lot of people will just NOT DO IT. WHICH IS BAD IN HEALTHCARE.#its hard bc so many of them REFUSE to take initiative. i have to really push them to do anything and instead of just doing it#themselves the next time- i have to push them to do it AGAIN#and its frustrating for me bc these arent customers. theyre some really sick people. if you get a blood sugar of 460 on your patient i feel#like its just basic common sense to tell a nurse. or if your patient has ripped out an IV. etc i could go on forever.#idk man. i got trained for all of 3 days and then got tossed into the deep end to fend for myself- i just figured it out! i used my#shitty critical thinking skills and watched my nurses and figured it out.#and like. so many people think the hospital is so easy. its not.#you have to clean up feces/urine/blood/vomit/mucus. you have to use needles on people. you are EVENTUALLY gonna see a person die and you ar#then gonna have to clean them up and bag#their belongings and put them in a bodybag. you are gonna have victims of violence AND perpetrators of it#and its okay if its hard!!!! it is!!!! but you still have to do it. it might not get easy but if you refuse to do these things then you#probably shouldnt work healthcare#for your sake and the people you are suppose to be taking care of
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ig my biggest issue with fandoms is the almost... false closeness thats there in them? ig since i was a kid and wasnt good at enforcing boundaries and was just excited to find ppl with the same interest I didn't really think about it but be real like, there was a vibe that it was "okay" and "fine" to expose a lot about ourselves to eachother that... i think if we knew eachother irl... we'd hafta be a lot closer than that to see or hear about that stuff...
#like ig am i the only one who thinks its kinda weird when ppl would pass fanfics around??#ig its just kinda normal now or whatever but think about it. youd hafta be closer friends with someone- besides just sharing an interest-#to see their slash fics right?? doesnt it seem kinda weird that ppl used to be so willing to toss that out there#ig the level of anonymity helps but my point isnt rly about the fics so much as it is... sharing information thats personal to you#i definitely didnt know how to assert boundaries as a kid- like i just didnt know it was an option for me to be like 'no i dont want to do#that' -wow that sounds really fucked up outloud huh!#ig my autonomy was taken from me so much as a kid i kinda just assumed i wasnt the one who got a lot of choices#and no one really taught me enough about internet safety .-. my mom did once but... she didnt push very hard#and that ended me up in a lot of shitty situations- like on here. how i posted a pic of myself when i was a fuckin child#sexualizing myself and some adult commented something suggestive back to me and ig i just. thought i had to accept the situation#like i just. thought it was ok to happen. ig since i had so many ppl rob me of my bodily autonomy before that it just seemed normal#or at the very least it was something i couldnt change so i didnt try and at the time figured i had to accept as normal#and since no one intervened to tell me what any of those ppl did to me was wrong i just. didnt think about how it effected me or if that#even mattered#so why is my life so dark exactly whys it gotta be like this tho#ig its kinda hypocritical of me to post this. i mean i use my account as like a diary sometimes or that im just yelling into the void lol#but thats also kinda because of all of this honestly. i think i realized i didnt want it to be that way for a while and stopped#but after all the shit with my abuser on here its like.. i feel like i cant not be as open as i am?#idk its like... a testimony or something ig. idk how to describe it. ig i just feel like ill always hafta be defending myself online from#everything. and if i dont talk about every little thing that makes me fucked up then people wont leave me tf alone about shit i cant contro#or change. like i cant go back in the past and not do whatever. but also as far as any actual harm ive done there isnt really... much there#ive had shitty ideas normalized to me sure but i dont really feel like i passed those ideas on to anyone really
1 note
·
View note
Text
TW***** Calorie talk
It is extremely alarming how many people don’t know that alcohol has SO MANY calories…
#it doesnt matter but i cant tell you how many times when i was in active weightloss journey#and I’d refuse to drink *because i didnt want to but used my diet as an excuse* and bitches were like#Alcohol doesnt have calories what do you mean#and then watched their faces dropped when i explained that 1 shot of tequila had like 150 calories lmaoo#TW : Calorie talk
0 notes
Text
the way everyone acts about That gives me the most incredible mind reading paranoid you can imagine. Like uh. my brain is quite sure sometimes in a deep, deep, overwhelming subconscious way that everybody can communicate their emotions to each other like theyre genuinely connecting in a way im not and they all have a species wide fucking agreement not to talk about it unless someone brings it up first. bc its so powerful that once youve experienced it you understand why bringing it up to someone who doesnt know just isnt ok. the rule just is obvious and self explanatory once youre there.
#this is hard to post bc i believe it on such a deep level<3#like mentally? dont belive it#this is not part of my worldview#but my heart. who also thinks the universe hates him personally. who things god is watching with disgust and hate and disdain. cant let go#and sometimes it gets Bad#its gets worse when i think about it bc the 'nobody would Tell you' gets overwhelming#bc they wouldnt#you wouldnt#no matter how many times i posted this#this doesnt count u have to ask with your mind<3#you have to figure it out first#this is what im posting instead of frantically trying to get ppl to tell me That is real again lol#i couldnt handle it rn#nobody answering#nobody ever does#bc. youre not supposed to? bc you dont want to deal with me being crazy? you dont want to feel responsible if it upsets me?#or if i do something crazy#i wont#i have a feeling i couldnt. theres nothing that would matter#tell me if im crazy tell me if im crazy god fucking please christ above its been three years and ive never looked someone in the eyes and#had them tell me im not fucking crazy#it feels so bad. the core of the world is not real and it feels so sickening i dont have words#nobody knows what im talking about bc nobody has ever been as stupid and traumatized as i am. is the current working theory
0 notes
Text
hmm.
#ack. i wanna but a scale so bad but idk how much money i have rn#well at least since im restricting again ill have more money since i dont spend it all on food#wish i could get a job but id have to walk to it and i cant in the weather so im gonna wait till spring or summer#might wait till i turn 18 bc ill have way more options so i might aswell. its only like 2 months off from when i could even get one at all#hmmm. ill have to ask my mom to tell me how much is on my card bc i cant check it myself. im kinda regretting letting my sister not pay me#back immediately for $30 bc then i could buy a scale rn but she doesnt have much rn so whatever#going another month without a scale wont kill me. for the majority of the time before i recoved it didnt have a scale so whatever#but i remember feeling so awful not even knowing if the pain i put myself through did anything so idk if its worth that#i fall ever enough as is with my pots so idk if i wanna add starvation to tye mix when i cant even see the numbers drop#well. ill find out how much i have today and if i have a fair bit then ill buy one soon but if not then ill just cry ig#idk. i feel stupid for relapsing. i KNOW.it feels terrible and i dont even care much about getting skinny. i just miss starving myself#its not about getting skinny its just about seeing the number go down and hurting myself and i know it doesnt actually feel good but like#idk. my life has felt chaotic and out of control recently and i need something to hold on to even if it kills me#i dont even wanna die anymore either. i used to but now i dont. i have life plans that i wanna pursue. im not stuck in a moldy house with#people who abuse me. i live with my only friend in a place where i can actually go places. not many places but theres at least something#idk. i think itd be easier to be ok if i had other friends but i just have my sister. i dont even know how or where you meet people#everything i read either says scool for minors or bars for adults which is useless to me. the only others things are things not around me#idk. i guess ill have to get a car eventually and when i do that then i can go places. i feel so bleh lately#i just. i wanna be sickly and skinny. not bc i think im ugly but bc i wanna be sick. i dont dislike my appearance. im relatively thin#not that it matters bc theres nothing wrong with being fat but like. idk. i used to hate my appearance so much but i dont now#so it feels so weird that im relapsing anyway#idk
0 notes
Text
dont let all your pain go to waste
our life is not set in stone, it has been hard till now, so so so fucking hard. it doesnt have to be hard from now on. you have spent years crying, wishing, waiting, wanting, losing. but you do have a choice, by changing your assumptions, your beliefs, our feelings, you really can switch to having, loving, smiling, laughing, living.
it is possible for you IF YOU BELIEVE it is possible for you. dont let your bruised knees, and swollen wet eyes go to waste. dont let the years of crying, wanting, feeling lack, years when you tried so hard, when you persisted and never gave up....dont let those years go to waste.
your future self will be so fucking proud that you never gave up. that you never lost hope. im literally crying while writing this, but every time things that get hard, i am just reminded of little me who had so many hopes and dreams and how its my duty to fulfill her dreams.
how i cannot let the pain of little teenage me who persisted everyday, despite the worst circumstances. who affirmed, who forced herself to believe, who tried her best at that time, i cant let her pain go to waste. I WONT.
im sure most of us have spent a long time in our misery. but it DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. we have changed. as long as we dont give up. as long as you dont give up. all those hours, all those tears will be worth it.
and one day we are going to open our eyes, to our dream life, that little us would be so proud of, and you will be so proud that day, that no matter what happened, you persisted. you didnt give in to the 3d. the 3d is just a mirror that has NO WILL OF ITS OWN. it hasss to conform.
so keep going. you are doing great honey. you already are there. the day when you get to be happy, has finally come now. relax. breathe in. hold. breathe out. everything is going to be okay. and we have made it. and everything worked out just the way it was supposed to.
we did it. no more pain. no more regrets. just happiness and light. love and sunshine. laughter and love. now YOU can thank your past self and tell her - thankyou baby for always believing <3
-love, sam :')
#law of attraction#reality shifting#manifestation#shifting#shiftblr#shifting realities#desired reality#neville goddard#manifesting#the void state#void#void state#state akin to sleep#affirm and persist#affirmations#self concept#live in the end#living in the end#law of manifestation#law of assumption
568 notes
·
View notes
Text
AkrhamKnight! Jason Todd
Sensitive Topics: descriptions of a toxic relationship and mentions of physical abuse (none actually written)
AK! Jason Todd who you're not even sure what you have with. Every time you try to refer to him as your boyfriend or yourselves as together like you did before his death, he pulls away and gets defensive.
"There isn't an 'us,' sweetheart. I ain't letting shit from before that fucking clown got to me matter now."
But if you try to walk away from the situation or start talking to somebody else, he gets so incredibly jealous.
"Oh so you really need two guys' attention now? What a fucking whore..."
AK! Jason Todd who, if you couldn't tell by now, is so incredibly toxic in whatever situation you have. He cant stand to see you walk away but it kills you inside every time you come back to him and his baggage.
"Come one, sweetheart... It was just a mistake. We all make 'em, right? Don't you go leaving me over some petty shit like that."
AK! Jason Todd who absolutely loathes you going out at night. Even when he's there with you, it still puts him on edge to see you walking the cold, dark Gotham sidewalks when you could be safe in his apartment or the base instead.
AK! Jason Todd who just gets so mean with you for no reason. Well, not for little things like forgetting to pick up plastic wrap at the store or something. More like walking alone in Gotham without him knowing you were even gone. He hates the thought of something happening to his precious little thing.
AK! Jason Todd who would never physically harm you. Are insults thrown around like confetti? Absolutely! Is there a scream fight almost every week? You bet! But has he ever raised a finger against you? No. And he would never even think of it.
AK! Jason Todd who's absolutely pissed whenever somebody even looks at you for too long, nevermind making comments. You'd be surprised just how many of his soldiers he's gotten rid of just for telling him to "put his bitch in her place," or for telling you to "cover up, slut."
AK! Jason Todd who can't open up. He knows what he's doing is horrible. He knows that everything he does affects you in one way or another. But what about the horrible things other people have done? What about what the Joker did to him? What about Bruce letting the Joker roam free afterwards and replacing him with another goody two shoes? Jason wants to talk to you, he really does. But he just doesn't see how you or anybody, for that matter, coyld ever understand him or what he's been through.
AK! Jason Todd who found himself crying in the dark shadows of your shared apartment when Bruce first came along to stop his ridiculous plan to take over Gotham with Scarecrow's fear toxin. Jason loved Bruce. Bruce was his only family. But family means that nobody gets left behind and Bruce sure as hell broke that rule.
(This is actually kinda cannon: in Akrham Knight, one of the conversations you can overhear between a few of the gaurds mentions Jason crying after encountering Bruce for one of the first times)
AK! Jason Todd who truly does love you, in some way. He doesn't think he can be in love with you, but that doesnt makw him care about you any less. You're his person, and you've been there for him whether he likes it or not.
AK! Jason Todd who would absolutely lose it if anything were to ever happen to you. He never wants to see even a hair on your damn head hurt if he can help it. If one of his guards were to be responsible for an injury you sustained, they'd be out the door and probably six feet under in a heartbeat.
AK! Jason Todd who, no matter what your situation or relationship is like, refuses to let you see his chest. Yeah, his entire body is covered in scars, both from the Joker and other things he's experienced. But the 'Y' shaped scar on his chest is strictly off limits. If you were to ever accidentally brush your hand across it while laying with him or something, he wouldn't lash out, but he'd certainly guide your hand away by gently grasping your wrist.
AK! Jason Todd who never wants to see you involved with anything he does or his plans. He thinks that his activities are far too dangerous for you, even if you do happen to be somebody who's capeable of holding your own in combat or other high-stress situations.
Masterlist
#batfam#batfamily#batman#dc#redhood#jason todd x reader#jasontodd#arkham knight#arkham knight x reader
259 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝓔AT YOUR YOUNG ೨౿ luke castellan
content warning : dark!luke, kidnapping, smut, cursing, innocence kink, daughter of aphrodite!reader, stalking/obsessive behaviors, violence, 18+ content ྀི in which luke thinks you can fix him
There's a greed that arises from hatred or rather from envy.
Insatiable, no matter how many tries he attempts to satiate the huger that claws at him. He's empty, wafting through camp like a ghost because really? he doesnt think he's ever really been there. His minds somewhere else, the only thing bringing him down to earth is the rush he gets from sword fighting.
He's volatile, even, like a ticking time bomb, the sound revolving in his head, relentlessly. Its louder when he forgets the hypocrisy, the rejection and for a second? something sick like sympathy snakes into his mind. His hand traces over his scar on instinct because if he presses hard enough? It burns-stings.
And eradicates any solicitude he thought he had.
Tick. Tock.
Campfires were never luke's thing. He sits towards the back, eyes downcast and shadows coveting him due to the flame. His hands drum against backbiter, something he uses to keep himself busy until he can go back to the cabin. The orange hues that bring him back so much so, that he quickly averts his gaze.
Tick.
His fingers trace the line of his sword, and he swallows. He'll be gone soon enough. Laughter echoes in his head at that statement, but he ignores it.
Tock.
Luke's mind is buzzing, thoughts spiraling like his head has a heartbeat. It drives him mad. He's about to leave, sneak and tell some lie to Chiron about forgetting to lock up the stables. Anything, if he can just get out. He walks, caught so much in his head, he doesnt see where hes going.
And walks right into you.
You stumble backwards, as he holds you to stop your fall. You look up at him with wide eyes, a hurried apology emitting from you as he takes you in.
"shit-'m sorry, i didnt hurt you, did i?"
He bites his tongue, retracting what would have been a sarcastic comment, and shakes his head.
"Should be me apologizing to you, sweetheart, didnt see you-"
You smile at him, shaking it off though he's sure you're head is pounding. "'Its okay ,'m not even hurt-nothing ambrosia cant fix-"
You've regained your balance, staring up at him while the gods knows what makes his chest feel tight.
Adrenaline, he tells himself , Adrenaline.
He brings a hand to your head, an innocent gesture meant for him to just check if you're really okay. But really? he just wants an excuse to touch you again after feeling the loss of heat from your body, and like he guessed, you're face burns again from the movement.
Cute.
You've regained your balance, staring up at him. Your eyes are slightly dilated, probably drunk of something a camper snuck into camp and if he was a good camp counselor-he would have reprimanded you, probably sent you to chiron to get punished.
But he's not, the term "good" almost foreign to him by now.
So he lets his eyes trail from yours to your mouth where your lip now threads between your teeth. Maybe you think he knows, and some part of him likes watching you squirm a little bit. Another comment dies in his throat when cold blue eyes meet his, ones that he knows too well,
No.
Your face falls when he steps back, your lips forming into a subtle pout as his indifference.
"Just be careful next time, yeah?"
He doesnt even give you a chance to respond, brushing past you as your face contorts into confusion, and for a second luke feels something rising in him, that he quickly snuffs out.
He's not stupid enough to fuck with silena beauregards little sister.
Luke cant sleep.
Insomnia's not uncommon for him-far used to the nightmares by now. But this-this, is different and he knows exactly why, no matter how much he denies it.
He thinks its aphrodite magic, that you've found someway to fuck with his head with those damn eyes of yours.
( at least that would allow him to hate you)
But it kills him.
Cause you're sweet . He knows aphrodite girls, that most would have given him a dirty look or mutter something under their breath when he left so abruptly, no apology gracing your ears or emitting from his lips. But you smiled at him, sweet voice serenading him until he's dizzy, and he thinks about it now until he feels light.
( The timers stopped, something that flies over his head now, his thoughts only centered on one thing)
He supposes you're to blame, for not screaming at him?, calling him a dick and moving on?
Really, any of the scenarios would give him more ease. Curiosity aches to get the better of him, that maybe it would give him an answer to the enigma that you are. Piercing blue eyes resound in his head, and he sucks in a breath between his teeth, eradicating any thoughts of any further pursuit after tonight.
And its good.
He doesn't need a distraction or silena gunning for him again. He convinces himself that he can abstain from you-the possibility of hearing that stupidly inviting voice again and falls into his bed.
But his eyes don't close and his mind refuses to shut off.
( And in the quiet, he hears the subtle noise start up again. Tick. Tock)
Irritation already settles on your face, by the time you get to the cabin. Words go in and out of your ears, none of them making a single impression as you roll your eyes.
“He was being nice, for christs sake!” you say as she stops, and turns to you. “it’s not like he shouted at me or something-it was my fault, okay? and my heads fine-“
She sighs, her figure relaxing slightly as she dips into the bed beside you. Its weird, her reaction, for many reasons-but especially how much emphasis she's putting on him in particular. You know there's more-that she's not telling you something. But you're too tired to ask.
(Or maybe you'd just rather not know what really goes on inside luke castellans head)
"Just stay away from him, okay? and im serious about this-"
You just nod, not for any reason but for hope that she'll get off your back about it as she leans back into the cushions off the bed and you try to feel comfortable in yours.
But you dont.
Maybe its the buzz of your short lived high, or the fact that you've never been a good sleeper or what you know it to already be, the drumming of a fake promise that resounds throughout your head. Because if its one thing you never were, its honest.
He sees you first.
You're upset, evidently, eyebrows furrowed and face formed into a scowl as you make your way to the sword fighting arena. He uses an excuse instead of the actual reason for dragging you here-that he just needed a way to see you and say sorry without being too presumptuous.
(Which is ridiculous, because even he knows that the boundary lines blurred the second he removed your name from archery to swordsmanship.)
His brain is fuzzy when you talk to him though. You mumble about being switched over-your tone indicating you're irritation though despite your attempt to cover it, his brown irises watching so intently that you wish you skipped.
"but i swear i can get them to switch it back if you're busy-, clarisse is a bitch about timetables but im pretty sure i can get her to do it if i-"
No, is what immediately pops into his head and just as quickly comes from his mouth. Its abrupt and makes you pause for a second, staring back up at him.
"Wouldnt want to make you take an entire mile across camp for somethin' like that" he says as if he didnt make you take the journey before. "can probably find space"
He'd kick out every damn demigod in there if he had to.
Despite your protests, he does eventually get a sword into your hand. Positioning himself behind you, as his hands lock onto your waist, slow, intricate movements along your side under the pretense of 'steadying you'.
It has its adverse effects, what luke really intended to happen, as heat rushes up your spine, leaving you as distracted as ever. You try to ignore the urge to turn around, failing miserably as you turn to him. His grip tightens, as he shifts your body back around by your hips, his chest pressed against your back.
"Eyes up front, pretty girl"
A whisper-the nickname-so quiet you're surprised you even caught it and lukes even more shocked that he even uttered it. He should stop, take a step back, he knows hes well past that little boundary line he tried to imagine for himself. He knows hes enjoying it all way too much. But his hands dont leave your hips, his breath doesnt stop warming your neck because he'd be right back at your knees like a dog to its owner if he stopped-coming right back just to have that one moment of redamancy-even if its just out of pity. He snaps out of it though, reminding himself that he at least needs to finish his lesson like a dutiful counselor.
Distracted.
Its what he knows he is and what causes kronos's mocking voice to pop back in his head in the nights. He can only make excuses for so long-knowing that he needs to atleast put something in place before the solstice-before all hell breaks loose.
(Its starting again-he feels it, the low drumming that will eventually become a migraine, and turn into something more. A resounding noise that he's been able to escape with you, letting him turn off his head before his sciamachy begins and he paces like a madman. He wants-needs- to go, its why the damn clock wont stop, why he cant seem to close his eyes for too long.)
Despite his apprehension, he trails you around camp. Even staying at those stupid campfires, just long enough so he can see your smile when your eyes meet. A single moment before your face turn sullen as silena gives you a look.
You say something back, a comment silena seems to dislike as her face contorts into something irritated. Whatever comes out next, though, hits a nerve. He sees the way your eyes still and you swallow, a nod as you walk off before silena can open her mouth again.
And he follows you, making sure you’re okay, of course-nothing more, nothing less, like a good counselor should.
(Another feign play at innocence)
You don’t seem to know where you’re going either-weaving through the cabins, even passing your own. He’s fine with his distance, he’ll just watch, not interfere-he’s good like this.
That is until you stop, turning around with a look on your face that he prays isn’t for him.
“Stalking me now, castellan?”
Eyebrows raised, as you fold your arms. “Didn’t take you for a creep”
(He scoffs, though his reaction is only because you’re right.)
“Just making sure you're alright” he mutters, taking a step forward-closer-too close-for either of your liking.
You stiffen, at his proximity, at his words-instinctively moving a hand to wipe your face of any remnants of tears.
“I’m fine-it’s hot over there y’know-”
Another step.
“The-the humidity-hot air, all stuffy and-“ you stop when he somehow finds a way to get closer, rambling briefly paused as you stare up at him with your face flushed. “shit-”
The silence doesn’t help. If anything it’s worse-even more intoxicating for him as he smells your perfume. Subconsciously, his hands move to your shirt, fiddling with the hem as you take a sharp inhale.
“Luke.”
He hates how you say his name.
It makes him feel sick-how pretty you make something so depraved sound in your mouth.
(But he’d rather hear it in another context-see how far he could push you, how sacred his name could really sound when his head is between your thighs and your hands in his hair as he kneels like he’s at some altar. maybe thats the closest thing to a prayer the gods will get from him )
You only exhale when his eyes meet yours, and he allows a hand to snake up your abdomen.
“Yeah?”
So casual, relaxed, the exact opposite of the alarms sounding in your head to get him to stop. You should-need to, for both of your sakes.
You don’t.
Instead you let him, when his hands reach the softness of your breasts- you let him touch you. Let him run his hands over your sensitive nipples and pinch them when they harden. You’re just as greedy as him-he realizes, when he watches you arch your back in a desperate attempt for friction.
A slap on the hips is what gets you to snap out of it.
“Such a needy fuckin’ thing” he hums, trailing back to your thighs, “don’t think you deserve it though, pet ”
You’re eyes almost cross when he kneels. A short lived victory, however, when you hear the footsteps of the returning campers. He hears the -he has to but he either doesn’t care or is too caught up to move.
“Luke”
A futile attempt to get him to focus-to fucking move before someone sees you too. Instead a finger presses against the wetness of your panties as a squeal leaves you-a testament to his earlier thoughts about your sensitivity.
Cute.
You buck your hips for more, but he just tuts as he gets up.
“Should be careful sweetheart, not everyones as lenient about the rules as I am”
He doesn’t wait for a response, instead leaving your wetness on his fingers as he turns his back to you and your legs wobbly when you walk back to your cabin.
#luke castellan smut#luke castellan fanfic#luke castellan#pjo series#percy jackon and the olympians#charlie bushnell#zee writes ���ৎ#luke pjo#luke castellan x reader#aphrodite!reader#dark!luke castellan smut#dark! luke castellan#tw kidnapping#kidnapper!luke
689 notes
·
View notes
Text
Synastry/Composite Observations 🌠
(These are just some of my experiences and I really just wanna share what I learned with yall)💕
Synastry-
💙✨ Saturn square Venus can really just throw off the timing of a relationship. Well its less the timing and more of the fact of that the two people cant ever make their minds up and mature up for one another. And there are for sure alot of barriers that come withing this aspect one of them being that other people can set these two apart. In the couple that i saw this in the guy was Saturn and the woman was Venus. Venus was led on for almost 2 years while Saturn chased a different woman in that time. Until in may 2023 they started talking but their communication was off so Saturn broke it off. Now in december everyone finds out Saturn wants her back but Venus has moved on. So in their case it was a lack of maturity and indecisiveness.
💙✨ Venus conjunct Pluto makes the Venus person SO obsessive ESP if the Venus person has scorpio in their natal chart. Remember the Saturn guy from the first bullet point? He was the guy ive had a crush on for the past 3 years and in my scenario with him, hes the pluto in this case. Sadly it was unrequited but man this guy had me in a chokehold which was weird because I never wouldve thought id be attracted to someone like him. Its like no matter how far I go I cant ever forget about him its so frustrating. My Venus was conjunct his Pluto in Capricorn in my 3rd house so the way we talked to each other was very agressively but strangely we find comfort in it? Talking to him was easy too but lemme tell you when we argued WE ARGUED like it was HEATED. Our friend group always felt so uncomfortable whenever we went back and forth with each other. So yeah i would say really look at what house this conjunction happens in because for me it affected my house of mind, communication, and friends but if it falls in a deeper house like the 8th house the affects would be like 10x more magnified. Alot of people say its a sexual aspect but I really just think it depends on where it lands. I fell hard because im a plutonian person in general i have a Scorpio Moon and Lilith conjunct in the second house and my Venus in the 8th degree.
💙✨ Venus conjunct Moon brings alot of understanding and patience in a friendship/relationship. So ironically the Pluto guy also had his Capricorn Moon conjunct my Venus nd while we did argue alot and made me cry often I always had a soft spot for him. I felt like I understood him and we had many times where we joked around and laughed often. However Venus conjunct Moon can sometimes amplify your emotions to each other if theres other planets in contact with it. In a case like mine BOTH his Pluto and Moon conjuncted my Venus so most of the times our interactions stirred up obesessive and deeper emotions in me. Sometimes he triggered my trauma and i felt judged by him often but as me and him are getting older and are maturing more we stopped attacking each other and started being more honest with how we feel about things. I tell him about my personal struggles and he helps by giving me logical advice. Because of the fact that our aspect was in Capricorn it took us almost 4 years to have proper communication and be able to share our traumas with each other. I trust him alot even though we bicker often and even if he might not like me back hes still such a understanding friend and was there for me when i needed him and that itself is something to appreciate.
💙✨ If one persons Venus doesnt have alot of contact with your planets in your synastry but the other persons Venus has many aspects it may be unrequited. In my instance with the Pluto guy my Venus conjuncted his Moon, Pluto, and Jupiter and trined his Virgo Mars and Saturn while the only aspects his Leo Venus made to my planets was Venus opposition Sun and sextile Vertex. From the guy I really do believe he should have atleast some type of contact with your big six in order for him to feel something.
💙✨ So going back to the Venus and Saturn couple they also had Venus conjunct Lilith in Saggitarius and she was the one who got away. So like i said she was obsessed with him and everybody knew it too. I mean when she found out I also liked him she started hating me even though i never acted on my feelings and tried to supress it. He was the Lilith in this case and you can really see that hes attracted to her but theyre lowkey toxic sometimes. He blew hot and cold to her multiple times and everytime she got a boyfriend he wants her back like what?? She wouldve done anything for him but nah he sold. Theyre never gonna forget about each other and this aspect in my opinion has a very “the one that got away” type feel to it.
💙✨ Even if your planets dont make an aspect you can still feel it sometimes. I have a Gemini Mars and Pluto guy had a Virgo Mars and lemme tell you our arguements were BAD even though they didnt make an aspect. He always knew how to retaliate to whatever i said and always had a slick comment to throw in and my fucked up Gemini Mars self found that interesting which looking back at im hella concerned. I also cant forget that his Mars conjuncted my Saturn and my Mars squared his Saturn so the intensity came from all ends not just the signs.
Onto Composite!
(Just a Disclaimer all of these observations are made off of me and the Pluto guy)
💙✨ Having a Taurus Sun in composite can mean that both people are stubborn. Im just gonna use my experience to explain this but having Taurus in the position of Sun can be either bad or good. Me and Pluto are young we’re both still in highschool so i know this wont be how we are gonna act forever but our relation to each other was a very slow process. It took YEARS for us to get out of the arguing with each other/ insulting each other phase since the 6th grade but damn sometimes i really feel like he doesnt ever get what im trying to say. We move so SLOW when it comes to our friendship and also communication because our Mercury is Conjunct the Sun in Taurus too. I read on a blog named awda on here that Taurus Sun couples never expect to catch feelings and its so true. To start with I never really liked him when i saw him back in middle school but in 8th grade i caught feelings bad nd since then i havent been able to forget about it. And weirdly alot of people ship us too. Ive read online that this placement means comfort with each other and while yes i have felt it sometimes, i feel that the comfort aspect of Taurus Sun in composite only applies if the chart is filled with trines and sextiles. Our composite is just squares and oppositions everywhere so we feel the stubborness and uncompromising aspect of the Taurus energy more than anything else. Ive done everything I possibly can to try to move on but im honestly stuck with him for a while now. Thats how Taurus Sun feels in my opinion. Its long lasting and not something you can run away from. People will ship you as a couple and yall might be like nooooo i would never but then boom one day you actually catch feelings. And who knows maybe one day he will I mean thats what my our older mutual friend tells me. I have no clue how he ever feels and I know its because of his natal Capricorn Moon but ive always held a soft spot for him deep down. Ive always wanted to look after him and wanted him to put his trust into me but it was never like that i guess. Maybe one day it will progress into something more who knows?
💙✨ Venus square Mars was another aspect that we held in alot of our midpoint charts like the progressed composite, the regular composite, and the davison chart. When i tell you how potent the energy of this aspect was to us even though we had Venus trine Mars in synastry. Ive always asked him why do you like arguing with me? Why do you like bothering me? But hes never really been able to give an answer. And i think thats just how this energy is. You start to find comfort in the disagreements and in a way it kept us stimulated. It was a way for me and him to connect and become friends. Dont get me wrong there were times where we genuinely got on each other nerves but with time we got more mature and learn how to talk things out and respect each others boundries. We still bicker obviously i really feel like thats never gonna go away lmao but its wayyyy more toned down now. Im not even trying to be delusional but i sometimes feel like hes always fixated on me the most in social situations and many people have pointed it out to me. Even if it might not be romantic it can still make the two people infatuated with each other. You know the saying “theres a fine line between love and hate” this is literally that aspect in a nutshell. You just have to figure out how to express your feelings for one another in a healthy way otherwise you can start to find the other person to be annoying and irritating. This aspect had me all over the place man liking someone and hating them at the same time was crazyyy.
💙✨Make sure you check your progressed composite too. Obviously relationships change and i think the progressed version of the chart is more realistic in how things are in the present time. In our regular chart we have Venus in Libra which i was like eh that doesnt really match us that well. But when i saw the progressed chart it showed that we have Venus in Scorpio conjunct Mercury in the 10th degree and it makes muchhhh more sense. The twisted way we talk to each other and the deep conversations feel more fitting to Scorpio than Libra. We recently started to open up to each other more and this progression happened in 2023 compared to in 2019 when we first met Mercury was conjunct the Sun in Taurus. So we went from stubborn arguements to being more comprehensive but snarky nonetheless. Also it explains me not losing feelings too lmao. Im only really speaking from my side ive had no clue how he felt but I know that he was just as clueless as me. In our original composite we had Sun square Mars and Mercury opposition Venus and we were like cats and dogs back then. Now, in 2024 we have Mercury conjunct Venus and Sun sextile moon along with Moon trine Venus and Mercury. The Sun square Mars aspect went away and were on the same wavelength alot more now. Its really interesting to see how it changed you should definitely check it out if you get the chance to.
💙✨Just something that I observed but all the girls he liked they had an aspect of venus trine moon and some type of positive aspect from venus and mars. All of them were weirdly unrequited though and i still dont know how to figure out how people get stuck in the friendzone using composite but i think it depends on the house and peoples natal charts. I dont have their birth time so i couldnt figure the house things out but look to see where the big six fall and what sign the ascendant is in.
I know I dont post on here anymore but I really hope yall enjoyed this!! See yall next time💕
#synastry#astrology#composite chart#my observations#astrology observations#venus conjunct pluto#venus square saturn#taurus sun
534 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay, okay, okay, bear with me
mobei jun already knows about shang qinghua as airplane
oki ive decided to take advantage of the fact that WE NEVER GET A MOBEI JUN POV AND I'LL BE FORVER SALTY ABOUT THAT SHIT
but like, shen yuan figured airplane out REAL fast, right? they barely spent time together before the immortal alliance and then it takes one surprise before airplane is saying stupid shit, right?
and i cant help but think, mobei jun aint dumb and he's been spending How Many Years crashing at shang qinghua's leisure house whenever the fuck he feels like it?
he also finds shang qinghua to be Hella Sus because come on, ofc he does. a human just declares their undying loyalty to you after one fucking meeting??? even if he believes shang qinghua is being sincere in the moment, the fact that he was so quick to betray his sect doesnt speak of a loyal servant
so why wouldnt he snoop? why wouldnt he pay extra close attention when shang qinghua says shit that doesnt make sense? why wouldnt he notice when shang qinghua speaks or writes in a language that he doesnt recognize? airplane canonically isnt fluent in english so if he used a bit of it, especially chinglish, wouldnt mobei jun be able to learn some of the meanings of the words just by context clues? especially when he has YEARS to decode it? like if airplane was fluent, maybe he could hide the meaning, but a limited vocabulary adapted to another language isnt actually super hard to decode. it's the same reason that you can generally understand what slang means before you look up the definition. you might not know what 'rizz' means, but you can pick up the meaning from context clues.
anyway im over explaining the linguistic aspects ALL IM SAYING IS what if airplane kinda depends heavily on chinglish to be his Secret Language that Theres No Way That Anyone Here Can Get. and sure, for most people, it does seem like gibberish. but again, mobei jun has YEARS at his side and reasons to nitpick at it and decode it.
like what if airplane had a habit of writing out pidw plot points in chinglish bc look he is Going to forget shit no matter what, he wrote that novel a lifetime ago, but theres some info thats pretty important for him to Not Forget. so mobei jun is just left with a huge stash of Impossible Information that shang qinghua writes about
everything ranging from future events to obscure demon world facts that theres just no justifiable reason for shang qinghua to know about and just everything in between.
but also what if shang qinghua wrote his feelings? his thoughts? his issues? like cmon, he literally has NO ONE to consult with about the insanity of his life before cucumber-bro, and his life is really crazy, and he used to be the person who wrote out his feelings via novel but look dude he's not about to tempt fate by writing out another novel rn so a diary makes sense. or at least like, random venting
and again, this isnt even mentioning airplane having some potential verbal fuckups that mobei jun can add to his ever growing file of "shang qinghua has something fucking going on"
and like, maybe mobei jun hasnt actually figured out the exact truth but he has some eerily close guesses. or maybe airplane wrote a lengthy journal explaining literally his entire fucked up life and mobei jun knows Everything.
look im just a little bit obsessed with mobei jun casually being aware for YEARS that shang qinghua is from another world and might have once had god-like powers over this world. i think this is very funny and i think it could work in a canon compliant way. cuz i also like to think that some of mobei jun's aggro at shang qinghua was a mixture of
you literally wont tell me who you really are. you claim to be my loyal subject but you wont even tell me your real name and Yes I'm Upset About That
you fucking fucker, you literally PLANNED that horrible event to happen???? you suck so bad omfg. THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING FOR ME YOU JERK NO I DONT CARE IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NOW
your handwriting sucks and im mad that i didnt just have to decode your weird other language, i also had to decode your fucking horrendous handwriting and i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that
you barely ever show your real personality in front of me and i have to learn how you really feel by reading this fucking notes and YES IM UPSET ABOUT THAT
i also just love the idea of Something Happening to do with the multiverse and basically mobei jun is the only one who isnt remotely surprised lmfao. binghe is in crisis mode, cucumber thinks he's gonna die, airplane is freaked out, and mobei jun is just like "yeah, figured some dumb shit like this might happen. you didnt know binghe? dont you pay any attention to your husband :/ dude, they're not even good at hiding it, i thought you were supposed to be smart"
also the simultaneous heartattacks that cucumber and airplane would have that mobei jun just KNOWS like thats hilarious. imagine they need to talk about something secretly in public and its super urgent and mobei jun just starts using chinglish or webspeak or something perfectly and cumplane are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
mobei jun: that mofo is hella sus, but keep it on the dl. ttyl i need to do a vibe check
cumplane: ?!?!?!?!?!?
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
candid sanji (in love) ᯓᡣ𐭩
⁺˖ not a writer btw just madly in love with sanji and in love with the idea of sanji being in love ☝️
ᡣ𐭩₊˚.⋆⁺₊ ,,
since sanji is naturally flirty towards any young beautiful woman that walks by hes probably become very used to how hes normally treated by women / how he himself sees them.
like whenever he makes advances hes used to getting turned down or not rlly taken seriously but hes ok with that cuz sanji is number 1 ladies man. all he wants is to see women plural, hes not rlly a man who wants to settle down (not including wci that was lowkey forced marriage). hes a little bit of a player right? like hes a flirt to everyone not just one person.
but i think what would happen to sanji when he meets and gets to know someone and he realises that his feelings for that one person wasnt "wow you're pretty i wanna flirt with you too" but instead "i think i'm madly in love with who you are as a person and you're so beautiful that I will glady lay my heart out for you right now and spend the rest of my life with you and only you and id want nothing else" it genuinely scares him.
like he is TERRIFIED.
hes sure hes said something along those lines to other girls before.. but has he actually felt the weight of those words?? the burden of a heart that is so willing to be given to another?? not until now.
but that fear (AHHH!! AHH!! i was sooo scared!!!) doesnt compare to how he'd feel when that person tells him they would like all of that and would be willing to do the same for him.
dont misunderstand now, hes really really happy BUT HES ALSO SHAKING IN HIS BOOTS BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK??? 😭😭 ARE U FR??
he doesnt know what to do because no one has ever felt that way towards him before, and he hasnt felt this strongly about someone else before either
hes so happy but so so scared he's going to mess this up so he tries extra hard to be his usual self, the smooth talking romantic he always is
but it totally backfires cause all of his senses are heightened to the max and hes so fleeping nervous he cant think straight
charisma?? what is a charisma.
all his previous flirty remarks and witty pickup lines?? OUT THE WINDOW. hes tripping all over his words and there's a big ol lump in his throat that wont go away no matter how many times he gulps down hard and coughs
doesnt know what to do with his hands
instead of the smoothly rizzed up buttery sexy tone sanji puts on when he speaks, he sounded like a squeaky door hinge and at the same time he also sounds like hes sick with the flu
insert random silence
so fucking awkward. awkward silence. awkward punchline.
doesnt know what to do with his hands x2
forgets how to hold someone
is this okay?? is this really okay?? (as his hands are visibly shaking)
no cause his lovely lady would have to do all the initial physical contact and flirting before he can finally be an alpha and be a man and take initiative
again he just didnt wanna mess up
hes so worried about that person losing interest in him that he tries to act as his very best but it falls flat from feeling insecure / fear (ahhh!! ahh!! ok sorry ill stop)
abandonment issues!
oh he probably got real drunk and cried himself to sleep too aft messing up trying to flirt for the 1010929292938399th time
a lil bit of a pathetic man
but one who doesnt give up HES READY TO TRY AGAIN!!!
fails x2
₊ ⊹
・゜゜・.・゜゜・・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
imagine tying up your boyfriend while his sleeping and he wakes up to find himself literally at your mercy, saying its revenge for how he treats you in bed. and his like ''come on sweetie i am not mean to you in bed. what are you talking about?''
you tease him by kissing and licking his inner thighs. and his so frustrated. like why wont you just give him what he knows you know he wants. his telling you to just hurry up and touch him. and you tell him not until he does some begging. which he refuses to do at first. but after awhile manages to let out a little ''p...please touch me.''
you give in eventually but your just softly touching his cock while he goes, ''thats not nearly enough, baby. put it in your mouth.'' but you again, simply tell him to beg for it.
and he refuses this time again. saying no you wont get him to beg for you. and your all smug like okay then get comfy cause your gonna be tied up like this for a while.
and then your teasing him so damn much. giving his cock feather like kisses everywhere but you just wont put it in your mouth at all. nor would you stroke him properly.
and his just soooooo frustrated that he swears once he gets out these ropes, your really gonna get it. he says his going to absolutely show you no mercy at all. and your just giggling at his threats like ''as if, your the one tied up and helpless. not me.''
but luck really wasnt on your side this time. because turns out he was slowly loosening the knot while you were busy teasing the leaving day lights out of him.
''still want me to beg, baby?'' he laughed at the panic on your face as he yanked you by your arm. slamming you down on the bed. he pinned both of your hands above your head and tied you with the same rope you used on him. ''yeah? do i still need to beg, princess? beg for you to suck my cock? do i?'' he taunted. a smug grin plastered on his handsome face.
needless to say...he quite quickly had you regretting ever playing around with him in the first place.
you cried and squirmed. jerking your hips away from him only for him to pull you back by the hips. ''keep doing that and i might not let you cum at all tonight.'' he said sternly, slapping your thigh to somehow make you behave. all you could do was just sit still and take it. you had lose count of how many times you had been edged. your mind clouding with the need to get rid of the uncomfortable arche.
''p-please-! i- i am sorry!! i- a-ah...let me cummm...p-please i am s-so sorry...'' you sobbed. begging him pitifully.
''aw...my poor baby wants to cum so badly, doesnt she?'' he cooed. stroking your cheek tenderly while his thumb brushed away tears.
you nodded dumbly in respond.
''...'m sorry baby, your gonna have to prove to me you deserve to cum.''
you frowned, pouting sadly before a yelp left your lips when he pressed the vibrator to your clit again.
''its no use pouting, baby. dont try to use your cute little face to get your way.'' he chuckled. biting his lip when his eyes landed on your pussy again. so fucking drenched. soaking the sheets and yet you havent even came once yet. he cant help but let out a dreamy sigh at the sight. fingers prodding at your hole before slipping in with ease. they slip in so nicely. ''..god you take my fingers so well.'' he groaned.
and truthfully he is rock hard. has been since your little teasing session. it was only a matter of time before he gave in. the only reason he has been able to have some self control for this long without drilling you full of his cock was because he gets off on seeing you cry and beg. he loves it. the wracked state your in and the how vulnerable you look. the way your pussy is just begging to have his cock inside. and so is your mouth, letting out pleas after pleas to just let you cum. you even tried tempting him to fuck you full of his cock. sly little thing. it almost worked. almost. if he hadnt slapped your ass and threatened to not let you cum at all you probably would have been able to get him to fuck your tight little hole. but now....now he wasnt sure how much longer he can hold on and not just fuck you dumb.
''how about this, you gimme a kiss, and if your able to kiss me back properly while i stuff this pussy full of my fingers...then i'll let you cum. how's that sound? hell i would even give you cock. yeah? you want my cock, baby? mhm...sweet little thing..such a mess right right now..need to be full of my cock so badly, huh?''
he chuckled seeing you desperately reach to kiss him. your just soooooo adorable.
his lips were soon on yours and oh you were winning straight into his mouth. trying so desperately to keep kissing him without your mouth hanging open to moan loudly from how good his fingers were hitting your insides.
the kiss was messy. his tongue finding its way into your mouth and tangling with yours. small groans slipping from his lips as he kissed you like a starved man.
the kiss was messy with your mouth latching onto his yet you couldnt help how distracted you were by his fingers toying with your cunt. his thumb rubbed at your clit as two of his long, thick fingers drilled into.
and it turns out kissing was proving to be a little difficult with how good his fingers were making you feel.
but even if you werent able to kiss him back properly, he wouldnt hold it against you. he cant hold it against you. hell, he would be lucky if he could even think about anything other then the feel of your tight, warm walls squeezing his fingers and the twitch of his cock at the thought of replacing his fingers with his dick.
''h-hah...you wanna cum baby? you wanna cum, right?'' he spoke in between pants. breathing heavy as he held direct eye contact with you. his eyes heavy with desire.
he smirked smugly when you nodded your head over and over, mumbling out a breathy ''yes''.
''..yeah? of course you do.'' the words left his mouth as his palm came to lay flat against your cunt, slapping it. you yelped and he only snickered at your reaction. ''..dirty, dirty little girl...look how messy you're down here..its beautiful.''
his eyes were fixated on your wetness that made not only a mess on the sheets but also his hand.
without a word he brought his hand to your lips, poking at your bottom lip as he urged you to open your mouth.
''c'mon princess, you know what you have to do...open that pretty little mouth and suck.''
you didnt have to be told twice. already parting your lips open to take his pointer finger into your mouth. you took it in inch my inch, and he didnt rush you. just letting you take your time with it. but by the sight of something so erotic...his not sure how much longer he would last. his already at his limit. and you just had to look up at him like that while he had his fingers in your mouth, sucking them so, so gently as your tongue swirled around the digit. and he wasnt even thinking before shoving another into your mouth. and you welcomed it gladly.
''...d-addy..please f--uck me...'' your voice came out muffled by the fingers that stuffed your mouth. but he heard you nonetheless.
''...damnit.'' he mumbled under his breath, his jaw clenched as he finally deemed he really cant hold back anymore. he needs to fuck you. right. now.
he was quick to slip his fingers out of your mouth just as quick he was with shoving them in. both his hands now gripped your hip in a way that was sure to leave bruises.
his hand slipped down from your hips to your thighs, his strong arms pushing them back to your chest. he leaned over you, bring his mouth to your wrist and ripping of the thin silk ropes. he pulled the ropes off of your wrists with his teeth before spiting it out on the ground.
it wasnt necessary to have you tied. not anymore when his cock alone is going to leave you senseless. not to mention he loved it when you left your scratch marks on his back.
''gonna fuck you hard now baby, hold on tight, kay?''
GOJO SATORU, TOJI FUSHIGURO, GETO SUGURU, shoei barou, reo mikage, JINGO RAICHI, ryusei shido, OLIVER AIKU,MICHEAL KAISER, kei tsukishima, tobio kageyama, TETSURO KUROO, TURO OIKAWA, YUJI TERUSHIMA, ATSUMU MIYA
#jujutsu kaisen#nanami smut#gojo smut#geto smut#geto suguru#nanami kento#gojo saturo#toji smut#toji fushiguro#blue lock smut#reo smut#reo mikage smut#jingo raichi smut#jingo smut#ryusei shido smut#ryusei smut#oliver aiku smut#aiku smut#haikyuu smut#haikyuu#kei tsukishima smut#tsukishima smut#tobio kageyama smut#kageyama smut#kageyama x y/n#tetsuru kuroo smut#kuroo smut#kuroo x reader#turo oikawa smut#oikawa smut
1K notes
·
View notes