#it doesn't help that the bus stop i Actually need to be at literally does not have a single bit of shade on the entire sidewalk it's on
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i understand why goth people carry parasols now, it is way too fucking hot to be out here dressed in all black standing in direct sunlight
#ace rambles#it doesn't help that the bus stop i Actually need to be at literally does not have a single bit of shade on the entire sidewalk it's on#like there's buildings but none of them have awnings that go out far enough to cast a shadow on the sidewalk at this time of day#and of course THIS sidewalk doesn't have a damn tree for the whole thing#the sidewalks about 20 feet across the intersection do! but not this one#i'm going to melt#and i can already feel a headache coming on from squinting from the brightness
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If Cosmere Characters Had Real-World Jobs (But Not The Obvious Ones)
In this list, I wanted to try to give Cosmere characters jobs in our world while avoiding the jobs that would be the most obvious picks--like, for example, the real world equivalent of whatever their canon job is.
1. Kaladin: Professional Football Player
It's a dangerous job that Kaladin's dad would scoff at, but the other kids in town think it's really cool and also the recruiters are coming through town and, I mean, he's really good at football.
2. Lirin: Public Defender
If we avoid the obvious job (doctor), then Lirin still needs a job where he is doing good, but it's pretty thankless and the general public are suspicious and think he might actually be evil somehow. So I figure: public defender. He's highly educated, helping people who need it, and just getting nothing but grief as a result. Worst of all, his smart son wants to be a FOOTBALL player!
3. Marsh: Masseuse
I feel like people who are good at hemalurgy know about the body and its pressure points and things like that. And frankly, "acupuncturist" felt too on the nose.
4. Shallan: Park Ranger
Shallan HATES to be confined, so no way she's going into an office job. Plus, she likes nature and animals, but I'm trying to avoid the more obvious jobs (like botanist or ecologist). It's just too bad that Shallan is SO bad at staring a campfire, though.
5. Navani: Wedding Planner
Navani is VERY good at managing people and events, as seen when she had to manage everything while Gavilar was off plotting. She's also very organized and literally invented wristwatches. So I think she's be very good at this job.
6. Elend: Grad Student
This one may be too obvious, but I figure something like "politician" or "philosopher" are more obvious. But to me, Elend has major grad student energy.
7. Nale: Insurance Adjuster
Nale is a cop, of course, through and through. But if he wasn't a cop, then he'd need some other job where he uses the rules to screw people over. So I see him as, like, an evil insurance guy who's denying people medical coverage because the company wants him to.
8. Blackthorn-Era Dalinar: Debt Collector
If flashback Dalinar couldn't make a living mowing people down in battle and had to find a less obvious job, then I could see him being the guy to hunt down people and demand money they don't have. He doesn't really care about the money. He just likes the hunt.
9. Adolin: eSports Player
It's a job where you can head-to-head battle people and your dad is vaguely puzzled and thinks you should be doing something more important with your life.
10. Lightsong: Customer Service Agent
In canon, Lightsong's job is to face down a huge line of people and tell them "no" in response to them asking for something they want. So, I mean, I feel like that's equivalent to one of those shitty customer service jobs where you're not really allowed to help people (until, of course, Lightsong goes rogue and does start helping people, but that's another story...)
11. Stormfather: Bus Driver
He has his route, and he's not deviating from it. And if you miss the bus, he's not stopping. He's not going back. You can try to run, but you will not catch up to him.
12. Tress: Mechanic
As a Sprouter, Tress had to figure out how each of the spores worked and how to use them. I just feel like she'd be good at diagnosing issues in machinery and then fixing them.
13. Steris: Programmer
She's precise, she's smart, she likes rules. I think coding would suit her.
14. Yumi: Waitress
She could stack the plates SO high.
15. Marasi: Investigative Reporter
Which, honestly, is what I wish she had been rather than being a cop like in canon. I think it would suit her! She'd get to research, investigate, find the truth...
16. Kelsier: Motivational Speaker
He tells you about the power of smiling no matter what, so that you are never defeated. He tells you to carry something small, some memento or photo, to help you find your motivation. You tells you that no goal is out of reach--you just have to find the right people and the right steps to move forward. And he tells you that the most important thing is to survive.
#cosmere#cosmerelists#Kaladin#Lirin#Shallan#Adolin#Kelsier#Marasi#Yumi#Tress#Stormfather#Lightsong#Dalinar#Elend#Nale#Marsh#Steris#Navani
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You guys gotta hear me out.
like.
Do you know how SIMILAR Gumball and Nicole are compared to the rest?
Like it's such a cool detail how gumball and Nicole are two distinct characters who have their fun personality and personal depth but are so similar.
Like you can tell that these two are related.
Like seriously, in earlier seasons gumball was more similar to Richard, actually.
He was a sweetheart, naive and always trying to help people because he wanted to. He was very easy to bully and make fun of because he was naive and "stupid" like his father. the only difference is that Richard never stands up for himself, gumball doesn't. There were several times where gumball gets made fun of and he just screams at them to defend himself because there's no Nicole to defend him (and when he doesn't stand up for himself, penny does.)
Which is a trait he most definitely got from Nicole.
But later on? When he gets his iconic sarcastic personality? He's so much like Nicole.
there were many scenes in some episodes where he just is a tiny version of Nicole, it's actually kinda wholesome. Especially if you count that he looks up to her ( thinks she's cool) so he subconsciously mimics her (like children do, in the end. Especially because he didn't have an older sibling to look up to, unlike Darwin and Anais do.)
And like.
I do have some examples.
> This one is my favorite honestly, when gumball had to make everything perfect because penny was coming over, so he took over and asked (ordered) everyone to be perfect.
This resulted in everyone making more chaos than usual because of how pressured they were (and low-key looked mildly scared whenever gumball came over and screamed at them that they had to do better, and faster, because everything has to be perfect.)
there was a point where he literally picked up trash the same size as him and threw it at his mother (because she had to take out the trash) and ended up throwing her and the trash out without much difficulty.
> Gumball variously shapeshifting into some weird monster things whenever he was slightly pissy or annoyed.
This is one example
> just like Nicole, he too can be super athletic. Remember when rob kidnapped Barbara and then threw an entire bus at gumball? Gumball literally did those cool action scenes where he jumps through the bus and walks away like nothing.
Something his mother does a lot
> Both gumball and Nicole have some immense strength, dude. Despite one never actually exercising for it and the other who didn't do any kind of exercise is years.
Just this whole ep where gumball is a sore loser.
> Him when he was younger.
Yes he was hyperactive, but at the same time he managed to do shit only his mother could
(Being super fast, walking on walls and CEILINGS and having the strength to break through doors too((when he was trying to stop Richard from flushing Darwin.)))
Yeah there's probably more but I'm too lazy to look them up.
ANYWAY.
I NEED someone to write idk. A fic about maybe Nicole slowly figuring out (by these points I just said) that gumball is more similar to her than she imaged, and it can either go into something wholesome, or angst. Your choice
#ofc no one has to#it's just me going crazy#dw about ut#tawog#the amazing world of gumball#tawog analysis#tawog gumball#tawog nicole#nicole watterson#gumball watterson
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i start school in 12 hours 😧
so to keep from losing my sanity imma ramble about how Cove would make school fun if you hate it, like me!
Going to school with him, rather it's by bus, car, or on foot is always nice bc you guys can just talk and hang out on your own.
If someone ever tries to start shit w you, he's there and ready to kick ass. (not literally, he's a gentle giant. i mean unless he really has to)
If you get easily burnt out and lack motivation to do your school work, you guys can have study sessions!!! although results may vary when it comes to how much work you actually get done 💀
Sits next to you in all your classes and pouts when your schedules don't line up. Promises to see you at lunch and if you hate the caf like me he makes it soo much more bearable just by being there.
If you're a complainer like me, he'll listen to you and give solutions
his solutions: "let's just skip."
you don't tho. not too often at least
i feel like Cove would definitely be the type to skip for you. Like you tell him you're not going to school and he's already at your window like 'ok so what are WE gonna do then?'
doesn't matter if he was dressed and ready to go, he doesn't wanna be there without you.
UGH HES THE BEST I NEED HIM SO BAD
THAT LAST BIT MADE ME SMILE
school was hard for me socially n I never did the homework, so cove would definitely help you do the homework even if you end up copying some of his answers
socially, like I said before he tries to take thr heat off you. and I agree he doesn't rlly get physical!!! but if someone is giving you a hard time he comes up behind them, puts a hand on their shoulder.. "why don't you stop bothering them?"
or will stand in between you and crosses his arms. cove isn't that scary but he doesn't care abt that, he just wants to protect you
will indulge in your complaints too!!! even shares his own complaints. AND BACK TO THAT SKIPPING THING
okay just to set the scene, let's say you're really stressed and end up having an anxiety attack or feel one coming on before class. cove pulls you to a secluded spot and you end up calming down and crying while he holds you, eventually falling asleep with your head in his lap while he stands guard.
after that, whenever you get stressed or tired. anything like that, he finds a spot you guys can hide and you'll skip class.
you try not to do it often since they'll end up calling your parents, but you treasure those little moments bc he'll share a snack or doodle w you, or even better play more hangman w you <333
will play tic-tac-toe in the middle of class!!!
also I love cove climbing thru your window fully dressed for school and he's like "so, what did you dream last night bc I dreamed I was a SHARK which was rlly cool but then you were a fish n I ate u and I woke up and cried-"
this man is crazy istg
omg if this is like step 3 n youre dating he'll walk you to all your classes and squeezes your hand goodbye bc he's too embarrassed to kiss in front of your classmates n teacher (definitely does it once on the cheek and RUNS AWAY)
yall never live down how lovesick you are I promise
OMG SENDS TERRI AND RANDY TO DELIEVER MESSAGES OR SNACKS N STUFF
once had terri deliever a little sticky note w a heart on it or smth and terri went "omg yall are so CHEESY EVEN WHEN YOURE APART" randy is giggling and teasing you too
omg imagine he's in PE and he sees you. he runs to the door or window and looks back and forth before he steals a hug or kiss (pls kiss him, if not you owe him 2 kisses to replenish his energy fully)
teacher: holden! get back here. stop making out w y/n!
cove: *jumps 10 feet* y-yes! omg.... I'll see you later y/n<3
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Honestly I wanna ramble some more cuz I'm so excited for vengeance and I heard love in paradise and gods games again, and I just,,,,,, I don't think I've actually rambled about my interpretation of love in paradise much outside of calling out the racism im noticing,,, so I'm going to do that now and then I'll stop posting for a bit cuz I need to lmao
this got long so I'm putting it under a cut, last chance to not read this. if you just want to argue with me about it just scroll by or block me. I'm not here to change anyones mind or argue I just want to talk about how I interpret the songs. Please don't bring up how you think she raped him on this post.
I think that both Calypso and Ody went through those seven years literally like, that bus meme LMAO. But I still think they developed in really interesting ways too (for better and worse). like,,, when we first meet Her we meet this goddess who has no idea how to exist with another person, she dismisses everything Ody says, she seems to view him closer to a pet than anything else (one way to interpret why she does this is because up until now she's had animals and inanimate objects to keep her company? If what I'm gathering from not sorry for loving you is right she was just fuckin left there) but by the end of the song she's pleading for him to listen to her. She's calling him Ody - he doesn't tell her his name in the start of the song (and as much as I like the theory that he repeats the things his friends have said to him in his sleep, I prefer the idea he did introduce himself at some point) and I think it really does feel like she's listening to what he's saying but she has no idea how to handle it. Like, even if we do use the "she still sees him as a pet" interpretation, your pet becomes suicidal, wtf are you gonna do? If my cat went to a cliff and started screaming about me not knowing what he's done and gone through I wouldn't know what the fuck to say either. I don't think she's trying to seduce him off the cliff (and I think it's super weird people make it out that's what happens!) I think she's literally on her knees begging the only person she's ever known to come back to her so that she can help him,,,, she doesn't help him, obviously, she triggers the fuck out of him but by god she's trying!!! lmfaooo.
....actually I guess Ody is more a golden retriever but you hear me.
Anyway
She's an antagonist for a reason, she literally cannot understand why keeping him captive there is wrong. I still don't think she rapes him, but I do think it took her a long time to understand he has boundaries. and I think "and if I pushed you/ came on too strong" etc in not sorry for loving you shows us, she, still, can't understand why what she did was bad after all this time, she was just trying to love him in the way she wanted to be loved. and that is, honestly, terrifying and heartbreaking all at the same time.
as a side tangent, Because we know Jorge loves to use wordplay (look how he used double meanings during Suffering) when she sings "Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise. No one can come or go, my island stays unknown" you can for sure take that to mean "under my Curse, we're stuck here Together", and tbh I feel like that's backed up in what I've heard of Not Sorry For Loving you? She's, for sure trapped him, im not arguing that, but she's stuck there too. I don't have a point here cuz imo it doesn't actually make her anything other than more tragic and more of an antagonist cuz girl you KNOW what it's like to be stuck there, it might be paradise but you said it yourself you're!! stuck!! Jorge uses his words so carefully (at least 98% of the time), she's not just casually saying stuck imo!! Actually maybe I do have a point cuz imo that makes it even more interesting!! Like, no wonder she doesn't want to let him go!! He's the only person she's ever met and probably the only person she ever will meet!! "My island stays unknown"!! Selfishly, there's no fucking way she'd let him go without divine intervention!! Scary!!! UGH I love this, it's so tasty and complicated and!! That makes a good antagonist!!! She's great I love her 10/10 mr jorge this is a GREAT version and I will marry her.
And Ody,,,,,,,
God where do I even begin with Ody. I said before that I think the worst part of this for him was to be reminded of Polites every fucking day for seven years. Because lets be real, she might be Coping but she calls her own prison a paradise, she greeted him with open arms and greets her world with open arms (lmao and he becomes her world.... im not crying much its fine) . And like, there are a few ways to view that last bit of the song cuz she IS repeating things from the people he loved most, he could've been talking in his sleep and she's trying to use familiar phrasing or she could just be, yknow, Like This. and personally I love the idea that Ody was faced with someone who reflected all the pieces of the people he loved back to him, everyone except!! his wife!! She reflects the words of his mom, the strength of Eury, the open arms of Polites.... and my GOD would that be torture on top of being trapped. I said it before, there's three people on that island, Ody, Caly, and the intense!! guilt!! Ody feels!! And she makes it worse!! He's trapped, and he can't even escape the people he failed because she constantly reminds him of them (accidentally but still, constant).
but like he says in not sorry for loving you ( and I do not want to hear a fucking word about Stockholm syndrome this is my post and I'm putting my foot down) he loves her. cuz again, of course he loves her, how could he not love someone who reminds him of all the best parts of the people he loves. It's not romantic, it's not in the way she wants to be loved, It's probably incredibly painful, he for sure also hates her, but they spent seven years together. Seven years of existing together isn't something to sneeze at!! No matter what happened, there had to be Moments. Moments that gave him some sort of peace because otherwise he would've been on that cliff before the year was up.
And speaking of that??? What did he say to her all these years. That's what I want to know. Cuz despite me calling bullshit on sir yaps a lot NOT telling her about what happened to him, can we talk about
You don't know what I've gone through You don't know what I've sacrificed Every comrade I long knew Every friend, I saw them die And all I hear are screams
cuz what if!! she doesn't know!!! what if this whole time he tried to just talk about them like they were still alive or focus in on getting home to his wife and as he lost hope he stopped speaking so much, kept seeing her act like the people he loved, kept watching her try and love him in all the wrong ways, and kept the demons and guilt at bay until he just broke???
Also? again, the pet thing, if we want to go there.... if your golden retriever burst out with "ALL MY FRIENDS DIED" what the fuck would YOU do.... sorry im coping with humour, ANYWAY.
idk like, I just feel like there's so much to unpack here and I hope we DO get a little backstory on their lives together, I want to see people explore this in more ways than what I've seen. Cuz I think he connected to her, I think he understands that she's trapped there too, I don't think this makes it better but I think it enriches the story and it gives them such a cool dynamic.
Anyway this is long enough, it's late and I'm having many thoughts. Again if you don't agree with me that's ok just scroll on, I'm just yelling at the void
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for random braindump, chay and macau being classmates in canon and recognizing each other post season 1 at some family function
congratulations you've revived my macau & chay besties 4evr agenda. this is not quite what you asked for but it is what fell out of my brain 😅
-
chay is fresh off of baby's first kidnapping, and porsche sits him down in an interrogation room and slides a picture across the steel desk and goes, "okay, this kid. this kid goes to your school. this kid is also the little brother of the guy who kidnapped you. well, kind of. well-"
"hia," chay says, pinching his nose, "i get it. what do i do?"
porsche grabs him by the shoulders. "do not go near him. don't talk to him. don't even LOOK at him. DON'T-"
chay endures this lecture very patiently and then does actually follow porsche's instructions, because the kidnapping completely scared the shit out of him and now he lives with the mafia and his life is legitimately in danger. he's gonna listen to what porsche says, no questions asked.
and then macau, who has literally never spoken to chay before ever (he has no reason to, he's one year younger and he's not studying music) starts popping up everywhere.
"hey," macau says, leaning precariously over the water fountain to stare at chay, who sprays water in his own face as he jumps six feet in the air before immediately sprinting away.
or, chay turns around in the lunch line and macau is standing right behind him, wagging his eyebrows, and chay lets out a small "eep" and then whirls back around and pretends very hard that macau isn't there.
or! chay is walking to his bus stop and macau is standing there looking at his phone, and this is ridiculous. chay has never seen macau take this bus before! so chay throws his hands up in exasperation and books it for the next bus stop, he's not putting up with this bullshit, no sir.
(macau is absolutely doing it on purpose. he's known about chay for months, but is actually on explicit orders from vegas to not bother or spy on chay in any way. he definitely wanted to help, but vegas didn't want macau to be thinking about that kind of stuff at school.
macau is flouting these orders now because vegas has been banished and porsche had something to do with it and he's hoping at first that he can fish information about all of that out of chay. but now he's in it for the trolling 😂)
macau doesn't know about the kidnapping. he doesn't know how personally chay is taking this — until he spots chay under a tree and saunters over to bother him, except. chay looks fucking wrecked. and like he's trying to hide it.
something clicks for macau. he totally gets it. sometimes you have to have a mafia-related breakdown at school, and all you can do is find a quiet place to have it.
(macau doesn't know chay is sad because of kim, but he doesn't need to.)
so when chay spots him, and tenses, and looks ready to bolt — macau halts and holds his hands up in surrender. then he waves, kind of awkwardly. and he leaves.
this very sudden generosity does surprise chay. and it continues to surprise chay when macau continues to wave at him whenever they see each other, but doesn't try to approach him. chay is still suspicious of macau, but chay is also a nice kid, and macau really isn't doing anything objectionable. so chay starts waving back.
this truce goes on for a while. and sure, chay isn't following the letter of the law anymore, but it's not like he's giving away information. he's not putting anyone in danger. and it's kind of comforting to have this shared understanding with this kid he doesn't even know. they're in the same boat. chay might not be able to talk to him, but chay feels a little less alone.
there's a million ways they could start talking after this. maybe macau just decides to take the plunge and plops down in front of chay during lunch and starts rambling about valorant. maybe macau is searching his pockets for change for the vending machine, and chay watches him do this for like five minutes and decides he needs to put macau out of his misery.
or maybe one of them finds the other having a panic attack in the bathroom, and talks them through it. (they're both better at this than they should be.)
or. maybe it's after the coup, and now macau is the one looking horribly withdrawn and jittery, and chay knows macau's brother is in a coma, and chay isn't feeling particularly happy about his own brother or anyone in the goddamn main family right now. so he says fuck it, and goes over to bump shoulders nonchalantly with macau.
maybe it's all of those. doesn't matter. they become friends. they're both lonely, and they're just too similar. too young, too tied to the mafia, too scared for their brothers, too little control over their own lives.
and it's not like they ever actually talk about being in the mafia. both of them know better than to give secrets away. they mostly just talk about gaming and homework and roast each other's tastes in music, and occasionally they allude to not being able to sleep, and sometimes they stutter to a stop to avoid saying something they shouldn't — but they both know to let it go. no need to fill in the gaps with lies, to pretend like everything is normal and okay.
it's nice. they're chill.
later, when porsche tells him they're having "family dinner" tomorrow night, chay doesn't realize that includes the former minor family, and he DEFINITELY doesn't realize macau is going to be there. which means he isn't prepared for macau to spot him at dinner and grin and start walking towards him, BECAUSE MACAU DOESN'T KNOW CHAY IS STILL BANNED FROM TALKING TO HIM.
chay is frantically gesturing at macau from behind porsche, making shh-ing motions and throat-slitting motions and shaking his head threateningly. and macau stops, puzzled, narrows his eyes — sly grin flickering across his face for a split second — points directly and dramatically at chay and goes "what are YOU doing here???"
chay facepalms.
macau puts a hand over his mouth and gasps. "have you been in the mafia this whole time?" then, louder, "i can't believe NOBODY told me."
"oh god," chay mumbles into his hand.
porsche is watching this go down, totally bemused. (vegas is also watching this go down, except vegas actually knows what's going on and is mostly amused about it.)
"chay," porsche says tentatively, "this is macau, vegas's little brother." then he nods expectantly at chay — like chay is supposed to do something now? is chay un-banned??? when the hell did that happen?
chay sighs. "hi, macau," he says, deadpan.
macau shakes his hand vigorously. "you play valorant?" he asks, like macau doesn't roast chay over vc every night.
"i'm gonna kick your ass to the curb," chay mutters, low enough that only macau can hear him.
"maybe when you get good," macau says, unrepentanly smug.
#there is a good portion of this that was lifted straight from my chay fic#coming to theaters near you never#🥲#one day perhaps#anyway chay's adrenaline is just going down from having dodged the macau bullet at this family dinner when#kim walks in 😂#rip chay rest in pieces#does macau immediately clock what's going on? probably not#from his perspective kimchay is probably the weirdest crossover ever#thank you for the ask! this was... very long i apologize#kinnporsche#porchay kittisawasd#macau theerapanyakul#does this count as macauchay? i have no clue#macau & chay#mine: asks#rainy day asks
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it's late but I need to get this out
IDEAL COMING OUT SCENE FOR MIKE (FOR ME PERSONALLY, IDC IF ITS THE FIRST TIME HE COMES OUT I JUST WOULD LOVE FOR THIS TO HAPPEN) (not the best writing it's just kind of a basic what I want to happen)
Mike's said something wrong again, he and Will had a fight, or he fully realized something and basically broke down. he runs away, in the middle of the literal end of the world, and everyone freaks out about where he is. Nancy goes out to find him (or multiple but she goes out) and goes to the junkyard.
she finds Mike there, either sitting in a old bus or the backseat of a rundown car, he's crying and curled himself up, as much as his limbs can. she's angry at him for running away and she's ready to yell at him but seeing him in this state makes her soften, she quietly sits down beside him and looks straight ahead.
Mike looks at her, but doesn't say anything. "why did you leave?" she asks, he just sniffles and shrugs. "come on Mike, talk to me" he uncurls himself slightly. "there's something wrong with me" Nancy is confused, of course she is. "what do you mean?" "why couldn't I just love her?" he says it more to himself, Nancy starts to understand. this is about eleven. "you're only young, the one for you will come eventually, it's not weird to not be in love at this age" she thinks she's helping, but Mike cries more. "that's the issue, I have met the one, i met them a long time ago,but I can't ever be with them" she looks interested, maybe picking up on the non-gender specific pronoun. "why?" Mike curls himself up more. "because it's wrong"
it finally clicks. Nancy sinks back into the seat, staying quiet for a moment. the only noise is Mike's sobs, but the camera is focused on Nancy as her face scrunches, confusion and slight sadness. her face lightens up just slightly, a smile forming as she starts to speak.
"do you remember the first time you watched superman?" Mike looks up, confused, but his sobs stop slightly. "because I do.. you were obsessed, like so much that we had to buy the DVD because we were spending so much money hiring it" she's laughing, but Mike just looks confused. "could you tell me about this person.. the one that is the one for you?" and Mike does, he says features about Will, and Nancy's gathered by this point who Mike likes, she already kind of figured. "why did you bring up superman?" it was a weird comment afterall, but Nancy laughs and explains.
"you were so obsessed, with superman, didn't care much for when he was Clark Kent.. but then you met Will" Mike freezes a little, but Nancy continues. "and instead of dragging me to watch the movies with you, you dragged him.. and he liked him as Clark Kent, so you did too.. even though you always had a thing for super powers" Mike 100% has a thing for a super powers so I don't think it would be unusual for him to have a crush on superman as he compared El to him lmao.
they keep talking, and Nancy talks more about his obsession with superman, and Clark Kent, but it turns more and more into Will, just without saying the name. like will using Els name to speak about his emotions.
"because.. everyone taught you to like superman, he was the better cooler version, he was who everyone liked.. but you liked Clark Kent, and there's nothing wrong with liking Clark Kent, even if everyone else likes superman" Mike nods, the scene slightly reminiscent of Wills coming out to Jonathan, not actually saying it but implying it, Nancy just doing it a bit more obviously.
I then feel like at the end of it she would say something like, "are you going to talk to Will?" to really show that she understands, and Mike will say yes, and they will hug and they will say how much they love and care for eachother because they are siblings and yeah.
that was long lol. I will forever spread my Mike has a crush on superman propaganda
#byler#stranger things#byler endgame#lgbtq#sobbing#fuck it we balling#mike wheeler#please#will byers#nancy wheeler#coming out#i love them
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My absolute favorite thing about ATSV is the narrative repetition of not only literal religion but wanting to do both things / two things and the callbacks to walker scenes. Miles trying to catch Gwen after he startles her and the Spot kicks her vs her trying to save him from falling during the chase and he snaps the line on purpose
Miles and his two cakes and Pavitr saying “I can do both!” as we see he cannot hold the bus and save captain singh and the girl (but with help they do indeed save everyone)
Miles literally has DNA from two different dimensions he’s literally always been both since he got bitten!! That’s the point it’s so good!!
Spider-Man doesn’t always win. They don’t always save the day. But with this unique technology they have a chance to learn and make friends and new connections. If the issue was just universe hopping then the whole spider base thing would be a bad idea. I can’t wait for the power of friendship and trying even tho it seems hopeless to kick ass in Beyond it’s gonna be so good.
Gwen also has an "i can do both" thing - trying to keep the canon event happening and save Miles (and thinking she failed when he gets buried under the rubble, which is why she was so panicked in that scene, because she was right back at the night of the dance and seeing Peter crushed under the rubble)
and yeah the thing is it's like
this movie is hanging a lampshade on the idea that Spider-Man needs to have these personal tragedies happen to be a better hero - that these events aren't just unfortunate happenstance but Fated Incidents that have to happen in order for them to be correct in the role (and uh, just a note... doesn't apply to Miguel - literally none of his story lines up with the Peter archetype)
like - the Uncle Ben death is a tragedy because it could have been prevented, it was something Peter could've stopped and didn't because of his pride, and the resulting guilt of that forms his 'with great power must also come great responsibility' thing (which also a note, not originally an Uncle Ben line, it was just a narration bit, only got applied to Ben later) - but the point is it's a code he forms in the wake of tragedy, not a predestined event meant to teach him a lesson
and more importantly Miles in these movies never needed to learn that - because he outright quotes the line to Peter B during the first movie, and of course he did! he's about 13/14 in Into the Spider-Verse, Blond Peter had been Spider-Man for a decade and he marketed the hell out of it; every kid in New York grew up knowing the line (which is actually a factor i don't see people discussing when it comes to the 'Earth 42 Miles and Earth 1610B Miles swapped fates' thing, we don't know what kind of Spider-Man that the Earth 42 Miles would've become, or how our Miles would've ended up if he hadn't been bitten)
Uncle Aaron's death is rather erroneously framed like Ben's by Miguel, but a) it wasn't something Miles could've prevented but didn't, he very nearly died himself, and b) it's reinforced later as 'sometimes you can't always save everyone'
so in terms of 'canon events', Aaron's death fits the George Stacy death more than it does the Uncle Ben death, where it happens in a moment it is impossible for Spider-Man to prevent it as a result of the main villain of the story (Aaron is even trying to save Miles in that moment, who was wearing the red store-bought Spider-Man costume, and pointedly the kids George and Inspector Singh try to save in those moments are also wearing red) - however ultimately it's trying to fit all these personal, different tragedies into a specific box that's the problem, because that's not how life works (nor is it how the multiverse works, but Miguel thinks it does and he's convinced others of the same and refuses to accept any alternatives). Aaron's death isn't a variation on Uncle Ben's death, George Stacy's death or anyone else's death. it's the death of Aaron Davis
also, introducing other Spiders completely changes the surrounding context and the stakes - if Inspector Singh had died there, would Pavitr have come to the conclusion that he couldn't always save everyone? or would he have been angry and resentful that the people he thought were his friends sat there and did nothing when they could have helped? because he wasn't alone in that situation, which completely changes the ballpark even if no one else interferes, it would affect how he responds to it
so it's all questioning why these events need to happen - if we're looking at it in-universe, these things are just unfortunate tragedies. looking at everything bad that happens to you as predetermined fate meant to teach you a lesson is both incredibly unhealthy and fucking dehumanising to your loved ones - a community of Spider-People can help each other and mentor the younger ones to convey the lessons and codes the elders pieced together so they don't have to go through the same shit, be forced through the same pain under the bullshit logic that the suffering will make them 'better'
and from a meta-narrative perspective, the 'canon' is the stakes of the story; Earth-65B continues to run even with George quitting, because dramatically speaking, learning Gwen is Spider-Woman and nearly losing her forever, while Gwen avoids going home because she's terrified that her father hates her and - compounding that - is scared that if she does go home, he'll already have died. that drama is 'good for the story' and can resolve without anyone dying
Peter B literally only has Mayday because of Miles, the 'original anomaly', and yet Earth-616B is perfectly fine with a child who - according to Miguel's logic - should not exist. why? because Peter B has started putting in the effort to make his life work, 'making adjustments at half-time', and earning his happy ending
whereas Miguel deciding to skip all the hard work of trying to make his life better by just inserting himself into a happy life that belongs to someone else, and that reality crumbles apart because he didn't earn it - so the stakes had to be raised, and the resulting guilt is what turns Miguel into the uncompromising anti-hero we have in this film
Spider-people are capable of incredible things, and are capable of even more incredible things when they have each others' backs - they've just gotten too caught up in their guilt complexes to realise that
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MTMTE 56, 57, and Revolution
MTMTE 56
and now for something completely different
“I know I'm paranoid. Contrary to popular belief, that doesn't mean I think everyone's out to get me. It just means I don't know who is and who isn't.” HEY. BIG SAME LMFAO not to gripe on fandom culture once again but y'all literally ruined my brain chemistry and I think it's fair for me to talk about it lmAO I know that not literally everyone who participates in fandom is an insane person who wants to start a harassment campaign against a complete nobody like me because it would be easy clout and no one would help me, in fact most of you are pretty cool, but I know someone will. Because someone always does. I've seen enough of my peers get hurt and/or die to know that someone always does, even if you think you're not popular enough. Like, I hope y'all realize what a fucking act of bravery posting all this has been for me lmfAO you have no idea how many times I've had to stop myself from editing out a hot take out of fear that even one chronically online individual might feel the need to punish me to protect the purity of the funny alien robot comic, including this paragraph
gfdsjkk I forgot Fort Max just fuckin kicks Prowl while he's in his alt mode so it just looks like he's kicking a police car. ACAB
oh god Outrigger's a fuckin youtuber lmAO
aww I do like that both Fort Max and Red Alert tried to get in contact with anyone they could when they saw everyone's farewell message, they still have everyone's numbers. Ooh except Chromedome changed his, or at least I assume Prowl's talking about Chromedome
ooohh right, this was another theory if I remember correctly, that Fort Max used to be Pious Maximus, like he got shadowplayed from being one to the other. I vaguely remember a panel I think way back in the Shadowplay arc of a dude in the background who looked kind of like Fort Max when Prowl and Chromedome found one of the institutes
casually thousand yard stares off into space at Sentinel's monologue about how Cybertron is now full of “mongrel Cybertronians” and he wants to “wipe the slate clean.” I wish life would imitate art would imitate life a little less lmfAO
*points at Prowl* lol but also Sentinel leave Red alone, he doesn't deserve this
MTMTE 57
ohh man here we go, last issue of MTMTE. It's not the end of the comic, it just changes names, but this still always feels like a milestone. The name changes, the main artist changes, this is absolutely a turning point and it always feels strangely bittersweet to reach it during a readthrough
“You're not one of THOSE, are you?” is still such a funny line of dialogue, truly on some care bears villain shit
still incredibly funny that Prowl has to use his table-flipping skills to reactivate the titan. The release mechanism was just. Conveniently table-shaped
man no wonder Red Alert got overwhelmed and tried to end it, poor dude's been out here playing 4D chess with his own brain for millions of years
fgshdjks Sentinel gets knocked into a pit by a bird and unceremoniously falls to his death. I've never seen anyone get more owned in my life
“You hate change. I sympathize.” “I hate endings.” “Same thing.” yEAH. YEAH THAT'S WHY THIS ALWAYS FEELS SO BITTERSWEET like yeah it's not an actual ending, but it is the end of certain constants that had been established (like the name, the main artist, etc) and like. That's enough! That's enough of a change for it to be felt! Not to get too deep or anything but it's normal to mourn for the loss of a life you're still living because it's no longer the same life
MTMTE Revolution
but before we move on, one more issue of MTMTE lmAO
god I completely forgot about Crankcase's online boyfriend
gfsjdkl Krok and Fulcrum trying to help Crankcase prepare for his date........ they're real ones
gOD THEIR STUPID HOLOMATTER AVATARS...
THEY FUCKIN BURIED HIS ASS god they are so bad at humans lmfAO
aww, Grimlock... shame he had to level a handful of cities to get his keepsake back but that's very sweet lmAO
fdhjks poor MP3
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Time to start Maximum for Trigun Book Club!
Archive
Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10
Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8
Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 1, Chapters 1-2 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)
TriMax Volume 1 Covers
Kuroneko on the chapter index gives me serotonin.
Vash finally finds a lamp with a genie in it and all he gets is punched. He seriously has the worst luck.
Wolfwook looks VERY possessive over that cross of his....
LOL, switched to the sex doll. Of course.
Chapter 1: Hero Reborn
First Knives is reborn, now Vash will be reborn?
Yeah... kinda hard to forget someone literally shot the moon when there's a giant crater on it now....
Vash with dark hair has made his premiere.
Hmm. Needs more floaty cloth bits.
Well, someone's having a bad day. I know I wouldn't want to end up tied up and tossed in a fountain....
LOL, they shout for the sheriff and the next character we see is Wolfwood. He's not a sherriff!
You gotta know a place is welcoming when you walk into a saloon and everyone immediately pulls a gun on you. I mean, that's just a normal day in Texas or Arizona, right?
Oof. RIP bus.
I mean, I realize Fifth Moon was traumatic and all, but somehow I doubt Vash would be filling someone with "twice his weight in lead."
I guess the person dumped in the fountain was actually the sheriff. Nightow could have shown the guy's badge or something to give us an indication of that....
Poor Vash. He doesn't deserve NEARLY that many knives in his picture.
Everyone has to ask about the cross. Wolfwood rarely actually answers. Deflection and misdirection is better.
LOL, Lina's face here...
Oh, man. WW's face in literally the next panel after Ericks's entrance. He knows exactly who he's looking at.
Vash Ericks, I know you try to look for non-combative solutions, but female-bodied folk really don't have a lot of options when people get handsy if we want them to decide not to push their luck beyond just being handsy.
Ah, see, this is why he thinks she overreacted. Because now a lot more people are in danger.
Heheheheheheh, WW, Lina, and Vash are all in such a close clump here.
Aaaand now "Ericks" has fully noticed Wolfwood.
Who the heck is this evil hamster of a human being?
All I'm saying, buddy, is that her footpring miiiiiight just be an improvement.
Gods, WW is so intent in this situation. Just looking at everything and listening to everything.
Dude, who STOLE VASH'S JACKET?!?! Also, those sunglasses jut feel wrong.
Oh, Ericks. So gentle....
Yeah, pretty sure actual Vash the Stampede wouldn't stoop to humiliating people as part of a power play.
Ericks, though. He's like, "Cool, a bargain where people live at the end!"
I wonder how much of Ericks telling Lina to cover her eyes is because he doesn't want her to see his scars.
WW wasn't really with the group long enough to see Vash's scars before, but this really clears things up for the audience. And you can practically hear the gears grinding in WW's head as he observes this scene.
Dude. This imposter even copied his gay little earing. Now that's commitment.
Opening fire on a naked man? Rude.
*sigh* All of that for nothing 'cause Lina's still caught.
AGAIN?! How often does this guy get shot!?
WW barely knows Vash and he's already like, "I WILL CLOCK ANYONE WHO SPEAKS SLANDER AGAINST HIS NAME."
What? He has super-healing? I mean, I guess that makes sense.
People really need to stop barreling their way into the infirmary....
Sheryl has a point. Things gotta get done. If the young folk won't help, then this old lame woman's gonna have to do it.
LOL, Wolfwood waking up Ericks will never not be one of my favorite scenes.
Awwwww, Wolfwood! Don't remind him about Fifth Moon! He thinks about it every time he sees that moon, I'm sure. It's NOT a pleasant memory in any way, shape or form, and he hates the legends around him!
Ugh, someone give this man a hug....
Cruel, indeed. The way he looks when he picks up that gun. There are so many emotions going on here. Loss, resignation, familiarity, sadness. Seriously. Where are the hugs for this man??
Wolfwood, always the pragmatist. He knows this isn't a great path, and how unfair it is for him to drag Vash back to it. But he also knows it's the path forward.
Heh. Yeah, just the two of them. For Vash to exhibit this amount of trust in WW suggests he's at least suspected WW's true nature for a while.
PUNISHER REVEAL!!!
Annnnnd Vash's first thought on seeing the giant machine gun is, of course, "Please, no death."
This panel of them heading into the fight together just fills me with so much joy.
Fake Vash is in a bit of a pickle, isn't he? Looks like he knows it, too.
Wolfwood reacting to Fake Vash demanding actual Vash say his name is beautiful. He looks like he's gonna die of laughter there in the dirt.
Heh. And with that last gunshot, Vash reclaims who he is.
And even after that reclaiming, he gets a heartfelt, genuine, and warm hug from a young girl who has only really known him as her friend and adopted family member, Ericks. <3
Chapter 2: Lina
"Something freaky is going on here." Yes. You're dealing with Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Even one of those should be enough to cause serious alarm.
SHOES OFF THE BED. Geez. Barbarian....
Ugh, I love his expression here.
I'm sorry, I can't get over Wolfwood's weird duck face in this panel.
This is a very interesting take on the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti dinner scene. That poor sausage....
Aww, you can see where his hair's gone all dark underneath now that he has it tied back.
Well, that's one way to get Vash's attention. He doesn't have as much chill when it comes to his brother. And understandably so.
Uhhhhhh, what's up with that spiky weird shadow guy?
TBH, Vash has good reason to be suspicious of anyone who knows too much about Knives. Knives's games aren't about humans. They're about Knives and Vash. Humans are just pawns and casualties.
I love how this 12-year-old girl is able to cow a bunch of whiny, scared men with just her presence. I love how angry she gets on Vash's behalf.
"If he and his followers sniff me out..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no comment. Vash just got really freaking lucky with exactly who's sniffing him out.
The comedy of this panel is great. Granny's all like, "Oh, no.... You're gonna end up beaten up in a ditch somewhere...." Meanwhile, her granddaughter has already begun just wailing on Vash. Without even dropping the groceries.
Ugh, just... having someone take care of him for a bit. It's a small and much-needed kindness. But that's how it often is with small kindnesses.
Wolfwood: "That brat (affectionate)"
LOL, Vash gets head-pats. GOOD.
Wait, Evil Hamster Man is back??
What the heck is even happening in this panel? Is this a second guy? Is this a growth on Evil Hamster Man's back? I don't know. We already had a guy with a LITERAL GUN for legs, so either wouldn't exactly surprise me. Wolfwood's face sums up my feelings perfectly.
Ohhh, Vash isn't having any of this guy's shit.
WTF, he just KICKED the round out of the sky?!
Vash isn't really prone to showing off just to show off. I'm guessing he's doing this to make Lina and Granny feel a bit better about how competent he is.
Even Wolfwood, who's seen Vash's weird before, seems a bit shocked.
Also, LOL, Wolfwood frog face.
Literally still can't tell if the second gunman is an actual dude or just some weird Evil Hamster Man growth.
Oh, there we go. He seems to be a separate entity, after all.
LOL, Wolfwood, calling them like he sees them. (Thank you, @trigun-manga-overhaul, for keeping the swearing. It makes it that much more funny.)
And now Evil Hamster Man is given a choice: a chance at redemption, or having to deal with an angry Stampede. Let's hope he chooses wisely.
Well, Granny's feeling better about the situation. Lina seems more... resigned.
There's something so lovely about the hair-trimming scene. It's one last bit of domestic comfort with his little found family before he heads off to war.
I genuinely believe Wolfwood here. He has a good heart, even when he tries to hide it.
*sigh* And as Lina cuts away at his hair, we just drown in their shared memories. The vast majority of it is simple things. Family things. Quiet moments. But they meant the world to Lina. And they probably meant the world to Vash, too.
I have thoughts about Lina burying herself in the cloth from Vash's haircut.
This chapter ends beautifully and makes me want to cry.
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A Summer in Time Chapter 1: Pressing Rewind
“Now boarding the bus to Boring, California.” The bus driver said. Ashely just got straight onto the bus with her headphones in while Mabel and dipper were saying goodbye to Ford and Stan with tears in their eyes. She sighs as Mabel cries over leaving Waddles behind which cause Ford and Stan to threaten the bus driver with weapons, and Dipper and Wendy have their heart to heart. As soon as they’re done and the bus leaves Ashley closes her eyes and falls asleep from all the exhaustion she feels every time they stop weirdmagedon.
Once her eyes close and the bus passes through the border of gravity falls she’s shaken awake by an excited Mabel. “Ash!Ash!Ash! We’re here! We’re finally in Gravity Falls! The place where we’ll spend a whole entire summer!” She said practically bouncing in place.
“Yep…an entire summer…away from my friends,” she mumbles “it’s gonna be soo much fun.” she said crossing her arms.
"Aww come on Ash it's gonna be fun. I promise!" Mabel said.
Ashely just sighs and keeps her headphones in. To be honest the first time she restarted the entire summer she was kinda excited for more summer and to become a psychic for a summer. But after the third, fourth, fifth summer in a row everything just got boring and predictable. She then tried to get out of the time loop by talking to Ford about it. When that didn't work she just gave up on ever trying to get out of the same three months of hell.
"Now at Gravity Falls" the bus driver said. Ashley got up and got her bags inside the shack.
"I'm super excited to decorate our room Dipper! It's a shame that Ashely won't be in it as well" Mabel said
"Well I mean she is nineteen Mabel she doesn't want to share a room with us and she does need her privacy" Dipper said grabbing his bags.
Mabel grabs her own bags and runs up to their new room.
Ashely passes by Stan who greets her by the door in his tour guide voice which she just waves to as she walks to the room she's stayed at for twelve summers in a row. Now thirteen.
After she helps Mabel and Dipper set up their room she sets up hers and stares at the ceiling 'another summer of monsters, crazy dream demons, and giant babies. I don't know how much more I can take' she thinks before closing her eyes to fall asleep.
Somewhere in the nightmare realm:
Bill glitches back into the nightmare realm like nothing happened. Like he wasn't literally just erased from the world a couple seconds ago. "HA! THAT AXOLOTL ACTUALLY HELPED! OKAY I GET ANOTHER CHANCE WITH THIS!" He exclaimed excitedly "AND THIS TIME I WON'T BE ERASED!" He yelled into an empty realm
Zhofrph wr judylwb idoov!
Notes:
This is my first fan-fiction I’ve ever written so I hope it’s good 😂. Also can y'all tell me do you want me to go about this chronologically but with some uncannon things or should I just show Ashley's perspective of things.
#gravity falls#dailybilldoodles#bill cipher#ao3 fanfic#ASummerInTime#Bill Cipher speaks in uppercase letters#mabel pines#dipper pines#gravity falls mabel#gravity falls dipper#grunkle stan#oc#ashley pines
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this started as a comment but the autism won
(I have come to realize that I'm going to be a nerd with Opinions about Media for the rest of my life and I have to stop hiding who I am. If that makes me cringe, so be it.)
Hot take: Betty Grof is the actual villain in Adventure Time
Yall just gonna let FaC tell you Simon was a selfish jerk and what happened to Betty was his fault like Betty isn't totally yandere for their entire relationship.
Betty invites herself on a trip with Simon, Betty decides not to go to Australia because she finds out Simon likes her even though he didn't ask her to do that, Betty ignores Simon saying losing her was devastating to him and jumps through the portal to try to skip over whatever boring part of Simon's life he was talking about, Betty makes Simon be crazy again, refuses even talking to the Ice King until she has exhausted all other options (including giving him brain damage and stealing his beloved little guy), gives up trying to talk to him after like ten minutes, and then tries to kill him, then almost ends reality itself over him = Simon being selfish?
Why *would* Simon get on the bus with her? He doesn't have a ticket for Australia! He just wanted to tell her how he felt before she left!
Simon uses a poor choice of words when he says "I forgive you for leaving me" but he's not the best with people and he was clearly just trying to make sure she felt no guilt about his terrible fate or imminent death. And then she interrupts him in order to literally abandon his past self in his hour of fucking need so that she can skip the unpleasantness, without knowing what it was or how long it lasted. She put herself in Ooo. Then she insists he become the Ice King again so she can save him, but doesn't stay with the Ice King or even talk to him. She leaves him rather than work on the problem with him by her side. She is never apologetic for this utter rejection of the Ice King at any point. She is willing to kidnap Gunter just for a chance to give Ice King brain damage and see if that brings Simon back. She is willing to use IK as a spell battery (which is where he must get the idea to use Choose Goose- I felt like that was both out of left field and out of character tbh) to go back in time and prevent him putting on the crown.
No matter what the Ice King, who is a version of Simon, asks of her she refuses. She does not want to know his friends, she doesn't even know Marceline's name at any point iirc. We don't know if she ever sat down and listened to an explanation of what has happened, but I am guessing not or she would know that the Mushroom War would have killed them both if he hadn't put the crown on, not to mention left Marceline alone to either die or be corrupted by the vampires.
As another fan pointed out, she could have shared the crown with him, shared the burden with him, but she didn't want to do the hard work of loving him as he was. She wanted him to be exactly how she had originally perceived him to be. She was willing to risk the lives of everything in existence to force the mental illness out of him rather than help him deal with it in a healthy way.
Yeah, she sacrificed everything for him, entirely by choice! Simon never asked her to do any of it. In fact, both he and the Ice King asked her specifically not to do what she was doing multiple times.
Simon managed to take care of a scared little girl during a nuclear zombie apocalypse while going slowly insane, summoned her deadbeat demon dad in an effort to try to keep her safe when he couldn't anymore, and was basically guilty only of the crime of wanting a little closure.
Hell, even the Ice King was better at caring about people. He was willing to walk through lava for his Goontz. His admiration for Finn and Jake led to him becoming a better person over time, once they accepted him, and he never forgot about Marceline even if he didn't remember how they became friends.
Maybe I take it personally as someone with a mental disability (autism) but I think the way Betty treated the Ice King, and Simon, was disgusting. Simon was a good person. He had a few character flaws, like everyone else in the universe, but fundamentally he just wanted to help people and to share his life with someone special. Hell, the Ice King's ability to treat Gunter better than Evergreen treated the original Gunter is what finally broke the curse of the crown. Did yall miss that part too? They're different versions of the same dude.
I cannot believe how dirty FaC did him in the ending. Totally uncalled for. Literally no one asked for that.
I'm with the people who wanted Simon and Ice King to interact, to have Marceline play a bigger role in the story both because she is literally Simon's best friend and because she's fucking awesome, and oh yeah- to not be condescendingly spoon-fed the conclusions that the showrunner wanted people to draw only to then totally contradict them two minutes later because he couldn't keep a coherent narrative running if his life depended on it. Man did us all dirty with that half-assed ending to a convoluted story.
Betty had to become Golb to clean up the mess she herself had made, and it seemed like she understood and accepted that. That act was her redemption. Why take that away just to shit on the character who arguably suffered more than just about anyone else in the narrative? Simon had magic alzheimers for a thousand fucking years and this asshole is saying he deserved it. I can't even.
And another thing:
If their genders were reversed, do you think people would still defend Betty so much? I highly doubt it, and I find that messed up. Women can be the toxic side of a relationship. Men can be victims. It's almost 2024 we're still not able to see a failed hetero relationship as anything but the guy's fault? Come on.
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also idk where to put this because it's been quite literally eating away at me, like i know i need to talk to my actual partner about this rather than my diary or the internet, but i've talked abt it before on here how he is struggling with addiction, and as someone struggling with it myself i also understand completely.
he's been sober since november but whenever we talk about it he straddles the line between telling me he no longer feels the urge to do it and is glad he quit, but then talking about good memories he had of the past when he was in his active addiction, how he'd do it with his best friends (this is another reason why i really don't like hanging out with his friends, because this social aspect, according to him, is the most tempting thing that makes him want to do it again), how he misses those "good ol'" days, etc. like it just completely confuses me and makes me very upset. to clarify the substances we're talking about here is coke, alcohol, weed, xtcy, shrooms, and lsd. his addiction to weed is pretty bad and it was more of a social thing, coke he hasn't done since 2019 but says he misses it since it was a fun party drug and he doesn't see anything wrong with it, shrooms he does mostly on festivals. but while under the influence of all this he did very risky stuff that put his life in danger (crashing into a bus, driving under influence, drinking/doing drugs all day and night, etc.) that he sees as fun and honestly minimizes the danger of, in my opinion, then tells me i'm overexaggerating when i say it's dangerous.
alcohol, my thing, is something that is definitely tempting esp in social settings but is something i definitely do not miss, i don't have good memories associated with it, and it makes me feel awful, there's no pleasure associated with it. obv the high of weed and coke and stuff is incomparable to alcohol.
he says that he doesn't feel cravings because i help him through it, but then tells me that if he wants to start smoking again he'll do it, "sorry", because he's a grown man and it's his life, which just confuses the hell out of me.
i was the one who asked him to stop smoking weed because it made him binge eat and then starve himself (which eventually developed into an eating disorder) and have issues with other things, it also made me feel very far away from him, disconnected when he got high. he would also drive me when he was high and i was really scared we'd crash. that convo where i asked him to stop was really difficult and it felt like he minimized a lot of these worries i brought up, either to convince me or maybe himself that nothing was wrong, which made me feel really invalidated. and obv i didn't tell him i feel invalidated because i'm terrified of confrontation, and i felt like i was controlling him or being bossy by wanting him to stop.
i just don't want to upset him by telling him how i feel and the confusion of it because i don't know myself how the fuck i feel and how to properly articulate it, and this is a really complex and difficult issue, because i have a feeling he misses the time period he was getting high at and active addiction because it was fun, social, and nice, but at the same time he knows it's better for his health to be sober. i just don't know if i should even talk to him about this and HOW to even talk to him about this, because the part where he basically said "yeah sorry i'm a grown man and if i want to do it i'll do it" really hurt me for reasons i can't explain.
it all makes me wonder if this relationship is even worth it and if the future is something i see for us? because this is like the elephant in the room that is really painful for me
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South Park Head Cannons
I'm new to Tumblr and a huge fan of South Park. So to start off my page, I'm going to list a few head cannons I have of each character.
Main Four 🍀
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KYLE 💚
Kyle is a mamas boy at heart. So when he was younger, he would willingly help Sheila with chores around the house ever since he could remember, and still does. And because of this, Kyle got used to everything being neat and tidy. That didn't really go well with the rest of the boys who didn't mind a little mess. Especially with Kyle's temper.
He's so used to everything being clean and organized at home that any time something gets even the slightest messy, he becomes outraged and goes on a rant about how no one has self control. He doesn't understand how people can live in such a pigsty. Thankfully this calms down as he gets older. But the others sure as hell rip on him for this.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
STAN 💙
Stan doesn't have a good perception of what a good relationship really looks like since his and Wendy is on and off, and his parents aren't any help either. So any nice gesture that's shown to him, he's immediately attached. All Stan really wants is to have any type of relationship which isn't toxic, one of which each party supports one another.
But besides that, Stan is always grateful for the few friends he does have. Even Cartman. Whatever any of his friends need, he's going to help them get it. Whenever one of his friends need someone, he's there by their side. Especially Kyle. Even if he and Kyle aren't on good terms, Stan is always there for him no matter what.
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CARTMAN ❤️
Remember that episode where Eric says he's going to throw rocks at Kenny for being poor? Yeah, he wasn't kidding. Literally after the sleepover, he grabbed a pile of rocks and threw them against Kenny's window. He mostly missed Kenny, but he did kill a rat. After that, he decided it was fun to throw rocks at poor or homeless people during his free time. I can see Liane standing by the window and watching Eric throw rocks at the local hobo.
Sometimes Eric likes to throw rocks or hard chunks of metal at Kyle. Why? No reason other then he's a ginger, a Jew, and he's from Jersey. That's all it takes to be on Eric's hit list. This causes lots of fights at the bus stop, the playground, and even the cafeteria where Kyle got a tray thrown at him.
KENNY 🧡
I can see Kenny waiting besides the garbage dumps at restaurants for the food to be thrown out to take some to his family. The owners caught on so they started shooing him away with a broom. That didn't stop Kenny though. He began camping out inside the actual trash bin under all the garbage. I mean, he's gotta find a way to feed his family, right?
Sometimes he gets Mysterion to kindly volunteer to take out the restaurant garbage for the owners. Mysterion just so happens to feel bad and donate some of that garbage to a certain house in the ghetto, which is awfully kind of him. Oh, but the actual garbage he just dumps at Eric's house or on his bed, just because he can. Or maybe because he broke his bedroom window multiple times with rocks..
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If you made it this far, thanks for reading my first post! This was short, but I have a lot more planned out in the future. Though any suggestions would be really good too! I'm open to writing anything.
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15/11
I am feeling extremely low right now, not even right now for the past few days actually. The last time I felt pure joy was when I was watching the previous few episodes of Ghost that got leaked. I wrote a review on it but saved it in drafts, it needs some work done honestly. I haven't felt that excited or happy in a long time and I just wonder why. I'm rewatching JoJo so I can understand it better, I'm always watching it and not paying attention, and then I'm about 50 episodes in and I don't know anyone's name, or what's even happening in the plot. I started from episode 3, as I've watched 1 and 2 so many times, and after that, everything becomes a blur. After Dio has the stone mask and kills Jonathan's dad my concentration just flutters away like a butterfly someplace else. Jonathan and his dad are such lovely and forgiving people, even after Dio stabbed his dad, George, he forgave Dio on his deathbed, only God and the writers know why because he doesn't even deserve it because he doesn't even care. Battle after battle Jonathan still forgives Dio and even grieves him, maybe because he does see him as his brother, but he killed your dad, what's the worth of forgiving him. Even in death, Dio doesn't want peace for you. Still to this day, I don't understand Dio's problem, they took you in after your dad died and you just want to do them dirty for what reason? If I also hear Hamon one more time I'm going to go crazy but at least that's done with after a few seasons. Anyway, today I had work around 11:30 and I don't know I how still managed to be late? I'm so awful and don't know how to fix this, I've always been at least 10 mins late to every single job, Hibagon, Well Being, even Cabana I was always there after the time I'm supposed to be, I don't know what's wrong with me or if I'm actually cursed with the late curse, even though I made that up. Even when I try to wake up early and do everything right something else happens to stop me. I remember during Jury Service I was always so late and the day I woke up extra early to be there on time, the bus was canceled and I had to get an Uber there which cost me so much and I never even got to get that money back. I even got scammed today but thankfully the bank gave me all my money back. I opened a Depop account to help out A, and some girl was interested in buying the glasses, I have no idea how to use Depop and stupidly gave her my details and she managed to scam me £400!!! I was sitting with A and he knew something was wrong, thankfully the bank saw it as something unusual and contacted me straight away, so I managed to report them, block my card and order a new one and get my money back. It was scary and so embarrassing I couldn't believe it. It's all dealt with and I managed to make a Paypal account that's connected to the Depop, just need to educate myself on online selling. I went to the gym after with Cake, it was a good session and we are trying our best to push each other, she has better resilience than me and I'm really proud of her progress. I just hope we can see more in the next few months, it's only been 1 month and the progress can properly be seen in about 6 months. So we need to keep pushing ourselves and go as much as possible. I'm planning to go to Oxford this weekend and spend some time with Boyn, literally got off the phone with her now and my tickets are all booked and I'm so excited to go!!!
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Nick Nelson x Reader: Bad Days
Welp I've read heartstopper twice now and got actually triggered by Charlie's ed. So yeah. That really sucks. It was helping my depression and loneliness till I wasn't eating. So. Here we are.
Fuck my brain, I hate it.
Literally wrote this after taking sleeping pills so idk how this turned out, gotta read it again later.
Description: Reader is having a really bad day with their ed, Nick helps.
Gender: neutral! no pronouns used
WARNINGS: talking about ed (not eating) in detail
NOT INTENDED TO ROMANTICIZE EDs. As heartstopper put it, love can't cure a mental illness. Additionally, YOU DO NOT WANT AN ED OR A MENTAL ILLNESS. They suck. Whatever picture you have painted of it, you don't see everything else.
I promise it's not worth triggering yourself to read this ❤️
*not my gif* UGH LOOK AT THAT BOI, MURDER ME
You feel mopey. Like, for some reason that's the only way to describe it. You've had an awful day. In health class, you had to list--in great detail--your body type versus your eating and exercising habits.
The hunger from lunch pangs nicely in your stomach. That feeling is familiar. The lightheadedness is almost comforting now.
You fight between the thoughts of "don't pass out," "this feel nice," "I'm being ridiculous," and "you don't deserve food."
You glance over at your best friend (and crush), Nick. He is focused on something on his phone. You glance back out of the window, torn between being happy he doesn't notice your unusual behavior and selfishly wanting him to see.
When the bus pulls up to the stop by Nick's house, you both step out. He gives you one of those smiles you adore as you both begin to head to his house.
Once in his bedroom, you flop dramatically onto the floor. You feel the air conditioning biting at your exposed arms.
"Its freezing in here!" You whine.
Nick laughs. "Here," something lands on the ground next to you. One of his hoodies.
You muster the energy to sit up and put it on, hugging the warmth and totally not his smell close to you.
He sits on the ground next to you.
"Want a snack?" He nudges your shoulder.
You shake your head. "I'm alright."
"Really?" He leans forward so he can see your face. "You didn't eat lunch."
You shrug. "Not hungry."
Nick sighs and a strained silence settles between you two.
"You know," he finally breaks the tension, "there's no one else here. No one will see if you eat anything."
"I'll see," you whisper. It's quiet enough you didn't think he would hear it, but he did.
"You deserve to eat something. Despite what your brain says."
For the first time since getting to his house, you look at him. "Since when do you know so much about I'm thinking?"
"Since I thought you might have an eating disorder." He looks away.
"Aw," it escapes. It sounds a little condescending in a way you didn't want. "I'm glad you care."
He takes you hands and you look at him, the light humor you had been holding on to disappearing.
"I don't know if anyone's ever told you, but I think you're very pretty and you can eat food if you need to. And you do need to. And you can always talk to me if you need."
For a moment, you focus on the floor, not sure how to respond. "Thanks," you whisper, throat blocked by tears.
"I'm gonna get you some food, okay?"
You feel a twinge of stress in your chest. "I just . . . can't today. I'm sorry."
"That's okay. I'm gonna get it anyway in case you want it."
You give him a little smile. Once he is gone, you feel a couple tears fall on your cheeks. You quickly wipe them away. You're greatful that he cares, no one's every really cared about you before. Like that. Like they really want to make you believe what they're saying.
Nick returns with a plate with some fruit on it. He sets the plate between the two of you. He pulls out his laptop and starts scouring for a movie to watch, mindlessly eating some grapes while he does so.
Your fingers twitch as you desperately want to take some fruit, too. You watch the way he doesn't think twice about anything he consumes and it almost comforts you for some reason. You take a strawberry and twist it in your hand for a moment, then you bite into it.
The sweetness fills your mouth, stronger than you've ever tasted due to your complete fasting in the last 12+ hours.
Nick must have noticed because he gives you a giant smile.
You smile back and reach for more food. Maybe it won't be so bad to eat tonight. Thanks to this dorky boy.
Thx for reading, don't steal. Go eat something my loves ❤️, Nick wants you to.
Buy me a coffee?
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