#Stormfather

[2shards]

hard to believe i've been drawing Stormlight characters for almost a year now and hadn't drawn my favourite spren* yet. shout out to my favourite crotchety old cloud ⛈️

[whatthymeizzit]

I'm reading Oathbringer and Will Santino's comic hit a lil too hard

[brothermouse-skeleton]

Most spren when bonding a Radiant: This will be difficult, but I will do it because it will make me more than I was before. I will become wiser, kinder, stronger, more human.

A Bondsmith spren five minutes before bonding: F*CK YOU, F*CK HUMANS, AND F*CK YOU AGAIN! I'm not doing this! I don't need to change, I don't want to change, go die in a fire. I'm not doing it! I don't wanna! *Begins thrashing around like a toddler* I don't wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!

[cosmerelists]

If Other Stormlight Characters Served as the King's Wit

As requested by anon. :)

"The King's Wit" is there to insult people in the king's stead. In this role, Hoid basically gets to stand at the entrance to feasts and make fun of people. It's a good gig for him. But what if other characters had this job?

1. The Stormfather

Stormfather (rumbling with displeasure): You have broken an oath today. Stormfather: You promised your son that you would play "Shattered Plains" with him this afternoon, but you did not. Stormfather: Though you feast for today, my storm winds shall one day scatter your dishonored bones. Elhokar (visibly sweating): Ha ha my new Wit sure is, ah, intense!

2. Kaladin

Kaladin: Ew. Another Lighteyes... Kaladin: Sniff, sniff! Smells like the exploitation of the powerless in here! Kaladin: I can name a dozen men better than you and guess what--they're ALL darkeyed. Kaladin: Nice outfit--did it come free with your ancestral privilege?  Elhokar (muttering to himself): I will not put him in jail again, I will not put him in jail again, I will not...

3. Shallan

Shallan: [sketching] Hapless Lighteyed guest: Is that...me? Shallan: It is! [shows Ideal Self portrait--it's the same person, only their sadness and distrust is gone and they shine with an earnest and honest light, looking out toward their future] Hapless Lighteyed Guest (visibly tearing up): I...It's beautiful. Shallan: Please, go ahead & take it! Elhokar: Shallan-Wit, why is everyone at my feast introspective and crying? Shallan: I'm really good at art.

4. Adolin

Adolin: Wow! You are so brave to put those colors together, and in a style from two years ago ago! Adolin: You are almost pulling it off. 

5. Dalinar

Dalinar: Hello. I could not help but overhear your heated argument, my friends. Dalinar: It reminds me of a tale from the Way of Kings, which I will now quote from memory... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Aaaaand, they fled. Dalinar: That's the third time that's happened this evening.

6. Ialai

Ialai: [hands hapless lighteyed guest a folded-up sheet of paper] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-Where did you get this information about me? And my husband? And my...former boyfriend's sister's cousin? Ialai: [merely smiles] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-What do you want? Please! I'll do anything! Ialai: Why...nothing at all. Yet. Please enjoy the feast.

7. Lift

Lift: Mmmm....4. Lift: A solid 6! Lift: Perhaps a 5, but ONLY because of those pants. Lift: Wow! An 8! Wyndle: P-Please mistress, I don't think the job of the King's Wit is to rank the butts of all attendees! Lift: They need to know.

8. Jasnah

Hapless Lighteyed Guest: Ugh, I don't think it's right for the king to employ a heretic as his Wit! Jasnah: It's strange--one might think that your faith in the Almighty would inspire you to strive to be a good man, yet in reality your mother weeps each and every night to have produced a son who loves drinking and gambling more than he loves his children, his wife, or indeed the Almighty. Jasnah: Should you wish to inspire faith in others, perhaps you should try to demonstrate even the smallest reason why yours has produced an iota of good for anyone in this world aside from yourself. Elhokar (across the room, watching): I...am afraid.

9. Lopen

Lopen: Hey, I know you! I got a cousin in your army! Lopen: He always laughs 'bout how weird it is that your officers make the men pay for their own boots 'n' stuff 'cause it's an army not a charity, right? But then your officer son gets an allowance which is funny 'cause that kinda seems like the 'charity' thing that an army isn't! Lopen: We Herdazians tend to use a word to mean a thing, yeah? But you Alethi sure like to make a word mean whatever it is you want!

10. Szeth & Nightblood

Nightblood: Evil. Evil. Evil. Definitely evil. Big evil! Little evil, but still evil. Szeth: You've identified every guest so far as evil, sword-nimi. Nightbood: Yeah, I'm so good at detecting evil! So when does the slaying start? Szeth: I told you. I don't murder entire parties anymore. That is my past, but it does not have to be my future. Nightblood: But you're the King's Wit! You got wit-tle down the evil, right? Szeth: That is not what that means, sword-nimi. Nightblood: ... Szeth: ... Nightblood: People sure do speed up when they have to walk past us, huh? Szeth: I am pretty sure that means we're doing a good job.

[messianicfigure]

the stormfather should post feet

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

an au where kaladin's not a windrunner and instead somehow the stormfather bondsmith would be incredibly funny in book 1 just because i'm imagining a bigass chunk of it is just stormfather: *trying to explain a bunch of heavy prophecy shit* kaladin: oh so you literally hate me. god literally hates me. you are just fucking with me, the Saddest Boy In The Whole Wide World, for your own sick amusement. stormfather, who has already tried to explain like three times that that's not what this is about and that he isn't even god necessarily: *sighs so hard it creates a mini-highstorm*

[cosmereplay]

Cosmere Inktober day 8: Goop

Syl Becomes a Mother

[blacksalander]

Dalinar and Lift

[thatfoxnamedfinley]

You Cannot Have My Pain aka Oathbringer thoughts

I am an empty shell

in both a good and a bad way

it's 5:28AM as I start to write this

MOASH

how DARE you

Dalinar I actually love you

Odium, u r actually a CREEP dude

spoilers will be under the cut *bows an emotionally drained bow*

*stares into the distance, watching the waves crash onto the shore*

Do you guys ever relate to a character that's nothing like you? Like, something happened in your life that CONNECTS you to a character? For me, that's Dalinar.

And I know what you're thinking

WHAT bitch?

a warlord tyrant turned peacemaker, eh? r u a criminal bitch?

No. But I did lose my mom to cancer in 2022. My internal landscape changed overnight. The things I deemed important changed. I was able to finally see my flaws, made bare by my immense regret (a normal feeling when grieving) and it look a LOT of therapy to forgive myself. I didn't like the person I was. I was selfish, was quick to judge and didn't desire human connection, and I was so mad at myself that it took my mom dying to spark that change.

Without making this a TED Talk, I deeply connected to Dalinar's grief that struck me in an unexpected way.

"Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing." Oh...? Oh. Oh. TEARS down my face.

LET US BEGIN.

So, we BEGIN the book with Dalinar seeing a figure in black Shardplate with nine shadows and red eyes

oh ok

Oh bro when Elhokar bowed down to Dalianr trying to abdicate and name Dalinar a Highking...& Dalinar and Navani are like

!! bro !! GET UP

OMG!!

WHEN HIS MEMORY CAME BACK OF EVI

I remember reading it and they were like "blah blah blah yeah, Evi" and I was like bro WAIT A FUCKING SECOND DUDE

oh oh oh

When Pattern asked if Adolin was an option for him to marry LMFAO ok Pattern we get it hahhhahhaha Pattern is so funny dude

Even in Shadesmar when he and Adolin were pretending to be illusions and he was happily waving a glass stick above his head, I'm like damn he's....a little touched tbh

Dalinar strolling around during a highstorm looking for a fucking knife was iconic as well as him spotting the assassin in literally 0.5 seconds and murking him and everyone in the room is like

Gavilar was like "um thanks"

Blackthorn Unleashed was an amazing chapter. He went into Bloodstance - a stance for someone who didn't care if he got hit and he was RAGING

But you know what I also noticed about this chapter? Gavilar like, casually put a hit out on Highprince Kalanor and juts points Dalinar wherever he wants. And I GET IT, right? Like, the Alethi are good at war. Everyone talks about it, it's what they're known for.

HOWEVER, the enabling of Dalinar's behavior is, at times, sickening. Even though I know this is a cultural thing and they all see it as a good thing. There were several times in this book where Sadeas or Gavilar said something to push Dalinar towards violence that I was like YO this is super fucked up.

Tangerine had a interesting quote too. He was telling a story about how if there were 3 people and one was a murderer, would you hang all of them, let them all go and risk someone killing again, or keep them all in prison despite some being innocent. And Tangerine said

"Eventually you will execute someone who does not deserve it. This is the burden society must carry in exchange for order." And I'm sitting here in the US of A like

holy fuck we're rich bitches <-- my audiobook bookmark when the Midnight Mother is chased away by Shallan's phalanges and we see all the uncut gems in the pillar thingy

JASNAH WELCOME BACK BITCH I was lit and it was so unexpected, she was such a badass in this book. At the end when she isn't even looking when she's killing The Fused and when she steps into politics and I'm like oh Jasnah will STEAMROLL these mother fuckers

OMG when Adolin was like I am NOT going to be king, dad and Shallan was like "hmm have you guys ever thought of..." and I rolled my eyes and was like "Renarin, duh. He'll have more prominence in the story this way and"

*Jasnah walks into the room with a crown on*

OF COURSE!! IM A FUCKING IDIOT!!! OF COURSE JASNAH SHOULD RULE. Omg I feel like she hates politics but she's the PERFECT one for the job! She can be the best diplomat but also fuck them up with words (or she could soulcast tf outta them)

OH! Evi suggesting the Nightwatcher first was a surprise

omg wait about Evi

she was amazing. she tried so hard despite not fully understanding everything (I do blame Dalinar because he made decisions, but I mostly blame Alethi culture, here. I cursed out loud multiple times at their NEED for conquest and war, growing frustrated at how narrow minded that can make them. as well as how cruel). she was scared of him, but she had this one moment when she told Dalinar after finding out that he had actually spared that child, that she saw BEAUTY in him. i was like oh bitch you are a baby angel

she tried so hard for Dalinar. even that scene when Adolin crawled down from the carriage and he saluted Dalinar...and Evi said Adolin asked her the best way to talk to him and when she told him he was a war general he decides to salute

that's just....that moment was so sweet despite Dalinar still not understanding how to be a father

LIFT SAYING THAT DALINAR HAS A DUMPTRUCK OF AN ASS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES

Lift out here like "HEY YO TIGHT BUTT WHATS GOING ON?"

holy fuck

Dalinar in canon having a nice ass is one of the funniest, most unexpected comedic jokes of this series

oh, Shallan was supposed to take notes but was drawing Kaladin instead ok girl

Teft being addicted to firemoss and Rock saving Kaladin with the Shardbow were both so amazing characters moments. teft having so much self hatred and selling his uniform which ended up coming back around when the person who attacked bridge 4 for the herald blade had his vets on PHEEWW and Rock saving the day I SCREAMEDDDDD!!! OMG ROCK!!!

"You're thinking of me," the Stormfather sent. "I can feel it."

BRO WHAT???????????? STAY IN THE STORM WHY YOU SAYING WEIRD SHIT

Jasnah vs Amaram was legendary. She REALLY said do you feel lucky today, punk

ODIUMMMMMMMMM

yo when Odium showed up literally the nicest dude wanting to braid Dalinar's hair I was like HELL NO this man is dangerous

then when he showed Dalinar his final form I GUESS he's like all hatred and passion and sex and bloodlust and im like oh HELL NO dude

"Emotion. It is what defines men - though ironically you are poor vessels for it. It fills you up and breaks you unless you find someone to share the burden with" oh ok cool odium, lol poor weak humans, fuck us then i guess

Kaza was maybe the most memorable one off character for me, the soulcaster woman who was dying and chose to kamikaze at the end because she wanted to choose how she went out

Lift and Dalinar eating fruit together in silence is, I fear, iconic

i cracked up at the myth wit told about the queen who switched places with Mishim (the moon) to fuck Nomon (the other moon) and that's why Natanatan people are blue

like wtf bitch

Adolin telling Kaladin he talks like a girl sometimes....oh? Adolin? OH?????? *smirks in Alethi*

The Rathalas scene was nuts. The thing was he tried too, Dalinar tried to offer some sort of mercy and they fucked his ass with a pole. Then he's like ok, dope *embraces Thrill in a sensual embrace* "None will be left to weep" got it cool cool cool

I do like the little hints left, like he sees red (which we see later is the Unmade) and all the times he's briefly seen red and flashes of red we know was the Nergaoul, who was thought to be the origin of the Alethi "Thrill" which I found fascinating

OOOOOOH MY GOD

MOASH

MOASH!!!

FUCKING MOASH

HOW DARE YOU!!!

after he was EMOTIONLESS when he KILLED Elhokar then SALUTED KALADIN WITH THE BRIDGE FOUR SALUTE RIGHT AFTER IT

Literally fuck Moash (his arc is fine and it's interesting because we get more lore but I dont like him)

THEN HE SHANKS JEZRIAN like MOASH wtf are you DOING bro?!?!?!?!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?

I liked how cautious Queen Fen was but then remained an ally when shit hit the fan (I liked how cautious everyone was tbh because they're all just so scared of ThE BLAcKtHoRn and youre like bro come ON but then you're like oh yeah ok i get it)

I LOVED Dalinar's flashbacks. With the Nightwatcher (then Cultivation after Dalinar asked for forgiveness and NW was like ??? and Cultivation was like "I got it from here bitch"), and when he breaks down and holds Renarin ("They talk about you, but they're wrong. You just need to rest, after all the fighting you did. I know. And I miss her too." RENARIN PLEASE!!! THE TEARS I HADDD!!!!!), when Adolin lights up after Dalinar tells him he's proud of him, how he thinks of himself as an animal, that he deserves to be hated. It's all just so MUCH.

The PANIC ATTACK he was having when the Thrill like, chased him around and threatened to consume him...

It was so well done that the

YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN was so GOOD it was so EARNED. God, the CATHARSIS I felt in that moment was so satisfying. Because bitches i really thought Dalinar was going to become Odium's champion and out intrepid heroes were going to have to fight DALINAR in book 4

Odium: lol I've had my champion for a long ass time, bro. ive been preparing him and watching him forever

Dalinar: Amaram?

Odium: lmfao bro its you bro

Dalinar: ...bro

and I was like

Then Dalinar said JUST KIDDING BITCHES and the GLORY SPREN!!! BY THE THOUSANDS!!! AND HE SMASHED ALL THE REALMS TOGETHER!!! AND HE SAVED ADOLIN KALADIN AND SHALLAN!!!

YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN!!!!!

"I KILLED THOSE CHILDREN. I BURNED THE PEOPLE OF RATHALAS!"

oh my god I have GOOSEBUMPS AGAIN

truly one of the most cathartic reading experiences I've had. The investment of 3000+ pages was worth it for that moment, and I mean that sincerely. It was that good

(Side note when Adolin's sword spren with her clawed out eyes attacked that one Fused I was overcome with emotion. What was her name? Maya? I think? that was a great scene too)

yo. SZETH. Brandon Sanderson you brilliant bastard. You did it. You gave us Szeth. Yes. YES. He's chosen to swear and oath to DALINAR. My man DK just be picking up bitches left and right to do his bidding. Kaladin, Lift, Szeth, Rial, Kmakl.

Lift was amazing. Her parts were so much FUN and the atmosphere shift to her personality was so welcome and uplifting and funny when it happened.

Jasnah's moment with Renarin was beautiful. "You are my cousin. Family, Renarin! Hold my hand. Run with me." SO SO SO SO GOOD Jasnah you are a legend you are THE MOMENT

Venli's Timbre pulsing to Victory as he has the Voidspren of her gemheart at knifepoint lmao (Im so glad she's a Radiant now, can't wait to see if she is developed more)

I feel like I have more thoughts (there was so much lore in his book but I'm not sure I have the energy to dissect it rn) but it's 7:22am and I haven't slept so im sorry if this post was unstable

good night lovelies

*sits up violently* wtf is up with sja-anat bro

ok *passes out*

*sits up again with eye mask on* yo Tangerine is gunna be a fucking problem and wtf Renarin has a corrupted spren right??

*wakes up and crawls on top of table, swaying with exhaustion*

I LOVE DALINAR KHOLIN A LOT OK I HAVE STRUGGLED SINCE MY MOM DIED IN GRASPING THAT DESPITE YOUR PAST YOU CAN CHANGE AND ITS POSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND THE BEAUTY OF LIFE MORE AFTER YOU'VE EXPERIENCED THE PAIN OF LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVE BECAUSE THEY CAN NO LONGER EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU

AND THAT GRIEF ISN'T FATAL BUT SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE IT COULD BE BUT IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN OF GUILT AND REGRET IT CAN ACTUALLY MORPH YOU INTO A BETTER PERSON IF YOU LET IT

[taravangians-storming-balls]

Could you slap the stormfather while in that eye of the storm realm where you can see him? Could a windrunner just fly up there and punch him? Asking for a friend

[bucketocremlings]

The Highstorm

original art by JordiRaptureArt

[fantasyarcanum]

“Ah, Gavilar. I see my miscalculation.”

“Goodbye, Gavilar. I have seen a glimpse of what is coming. I will not prevent it.”

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Protagonists Who Would Be The WORST Picks For Your Zombie-Fighting Team

Oh no it's the zombie apocalypse! Before you assemble your zombie-fighting team of Cosmere protagonists, please make sure to read this list. I'm going to tell you which protagonists you should absolutely not choose.

(And yes, protagonists! It would be easy enough to steer you away from the villains, being all "Don't pick Straff. He will feed you to the zombies" or "Don't pick Sadeas. He will betray you and leave you to be eaten by the zombies." But I'm just talking about the good guys here. The ones who would be bad choices anyway.)

1. Kaladin

I know, I know. But listen. Kaladin's "final girl" energy is TOO strong. If you have Kaladin on your team, and if you (Stormfather forbid!) dare to befriend him, then the last thing you'll ever see is his tearful, bloody face calling out for you as you are dragged away by the zombie hordes. Later he'll be forced to shoot you in the head as you shamble mindlessly toward him. He's crying more. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do that to Kaladin.

2. Raoden

Raoden has zombie experience! But it's the wrong zombie experience. Raoden will be midway through his explanation about how we can all live together if we can just establish a dependable food source and give ourselves a Purpose, when a zombie will arrive and bite off his arm. Better no zombie experience than the wrong zombie experience, I say.

3. Pre-ending Ann

Yes, Ann gets corrective lenses by the end, but mid-novel Ann should not join your zombie-fighting team. She has a gun and she's very excited to shoot it, and she cannot hit a zombie even when there are 500 zombies marching shoulder-to-shoulder. Ann, put down the gun! You're just wasting bullets!

4. Hoid

Hoid is just a risky pick for your team, because Hoid is not a team player (unless he is). Hoid has his own purposes for being on your zombie-infested planet, probably trying to gain zombie magic or something, and if push comes to shove he's stealing a rocket and getting out of there.

5. Wayne

Wayne is another risky pick, given that his superpower is Extreme Empathy. You're going to come out of your base one morning and see Wayne eating something that you hope is red jello while wearing a hat that you're pretty sure you saw the zombie that killed Doug wearing yesterday, and he's muttering to himself about brains. It's probably fine, but you also probably don't need that additional stress in your life.

6. Lirin

Lirin is an extreme pacifist. How far does that extend? Would he even be willing to kill zombies? Maybe, because they're already dead. But that's not really what you need to be concerned about. Someday, as you sit before him, cradling your zombie-bitten arm and crying, "Pull the trigger, Lirin!" he will absolutely not do that for you. At best he will toss you a bottle of morphine to numb the pain of your horrible transformation. And if your team member isn't willing to kill you before you transform into a horrible man-eating monster, then he's not the team member for you.

7. The Stormfather

The Stormfather has one response to world-ending scenarios and one response only: blow it all away in a big fucking storm. You're final words will be "STORMFATHER PLEASE DROWNING KILLS HUMANS BUT DOES NOT ACTUALLY KILL ZOMBIIIIIIEEEEEES." Horrible.

8. Huck

Huck is just a little rat! A little fuzzy guy. You're gonna put a little rat through the zombie apocalypse??

Maybe you're the real monster.

[lord-of-hollows]

The Darkest Timeline: Roshar

Hear me out.

Thid is not what I believe will happen in Wind and Truth, just what I view as the worst case scenario, and why I feel that scenario works in the story.

After all this is part 5 of a 10 part series. There's surely gonna be some kind of wrench thrown in the works.

Odiums loophole is not to force a draw or anything like that. It's what comes after the fight. If he wins then has a fused Dalinar, then orders Fused Dalinar to do something so heinous he refuses, well then the contract is voided and so is the force binding Odium to the Rosharan system.

The Ghostbloods attack Adolin, killing him. Shallan is pretty clearly foreshadowed as a worldhopper and I think it only makes sense if she doesn't have anything to come back to, namely a husband. This also means her brothers aren't safe either.

Szeth steals all 10 Honourblades from his people and binds enough to acquire all Ten surges (the only ones technically unaccounted for are Talns and Ishars, Hoid has Talns and Ishar has his) this will allow him to convince Dalianr to let him serve as champion. He dies to Odiums champion, El, powered up by Yelig Nar.

Kaladin swears his final ideal. Just as Moash manages to push his spren killing dagger into Syl. Or maybe even after Ishar has managed to pull her into the physical realm. Kaladins arc moving forward seems to be him inventing therapy rather than fighting the front lines. Perhaps he'll regain Jezriens blade for Windrunner powers but he will not be an action hero in future like he has been. He'll become a retired side character giving the Heralds mental health treatments. A new Honourspren will try to bond him, he will refuse.

With Adolin dead, Rlain with the Singers and Dalinar a fused, Renarin is left to manage the Kholin dynasty. The boy is soft and gentle and not cut out for Alethi politics.

With Dalinar a fused, the Stormfather is made a deadeye. The consequence of this is the highstorm stops moving probably at or near somewhere incredibly inaccessible. Roshars ecology will never recover. Crem is basically required for plant life. As such the Tower will be the world's only source of light.

And to make this as bad as possible the epilogue will have Wit strutting about saying "Just as planned."

Bridge 4 is retired permanently, it's members being divided up among other areas of the Coalition army.

Book 6 begins with Dalinar refusing something Odium ordered and being dumped on Roshar again, like Taln in the epilogue of Book 1.

[comiclysmic]

Did anyone order STORMFATHER PIZZA-KINESES? NO? Too bad. 💙

Ancient memes for ancient spren~