#it doesn't even take long to learn
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Whenever there's a "do you pronounce it x or y" post they never use the IPA and it irks me. Now, i know why they don't use the IPA but it still irks me. I mean, why did i even learn it? Why did people put in the time and money to create it when it's not used for its most applicable mainstream use? Why do you insist on leveragin the relationship between english its outdated, unrevised written representation to create a sort of ad hoc phonetic spelling system when there's a perfectly good one right there? You're clanking rocks against each other in the hope one might gain a sharp edge like some sort of neolithic proto-toolsmith while there's a tool box waiting for you in your garage.
#i'm begging you#it doesn't even take long to learn#rant#ipa#international phonetic alphabet#linguistics#pronounciation
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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In the same way that this blog has given you something to hold on to and look forward to, seeing these comics has given me something to hold on to and look forward to in some bleak times too. Thank you for sharing your art and your journey and your commentary and your jokes. They mean a lot to me and I’m certainly not the only one. Keep “”””””poorly”””””” drawing <3
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey of trying to get by, and learning to stay silly and hopeful.
#ask#It honestly means a lot to know my comics can bring little bit of joy into someone's day.#Truthfully... life can get horribly bleak. The future you imagine for yourself can implode and there doesn't seem to be point to try anymor#Or you just can't see a future every being more than the same torment wheel of your everyday present.#The power of holding on a little longer - of taking things just a day at a time or even an *hour* at a time-#has been essential in my own ability to get through crisis and hardship.#We will keep going. This too shall pass. All the good and the bad things we have will change eventually.#Sometimes you get to be an active participant in that change. Sometimes it is out of your control.#I have long moved past feeling embarrassed about how much this blog and my comics means to me.#I learned how to draw yes. I also learned how to persevere and look forward to the future.#Just like with my art; I still have a long way to go! Even if my art and I are not doing so 'poorly' anymore - I want to keep improving.#Thank you Elder-Manly in particular for having been around since the early days and for all the kind words you've sent my way.#I hope you too have found brighter days in the last two years B*)
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When They Are Drunk
(as observed by the Red Hair Pirates)
I forever love when we let the Red Hair Pirates interact with the mess that is their captain and his relationship(s), so here have some lenghty thoughts about Shanks, Mihawk and Rosinante interacting with the Red Hair Pirates while drunk in my CoraMiShanks Fix It AU under the cut:
Shanks
The Captain being drunk is neither a rare ocurrance nor a particularly interesting one. They've seen it all within a week of getting recruited, including the hour long rambles about how much he misses Hawkeyes even though they literally duelled each other two days ago.
The Red Hair Pirates have long since established a system for when they are among people on land or otherwise have guests on the Red Force, where the crew takes turns and one or two people remain sober on Captain watch duty; much to the eternal gratitude of Benn who has wrangled a drunk and poetry waxing Shanks way too often for his poor nerves and approaches it with an practiced aura of exasperation.
The one thing however that adds some fun to the mix is that after the captain finishes his hour rant about how much he loves Mihawk's creepy unblinking eyes, he turns his overflowing sentimentality on the rest of the crew.
His chosen 'victim' would be sitting there, minding their business when suddenly there's the captain's arm around their shoulders and he slurs a monologue of compliments about their skills and abilities and gratitude for all the things they do for the crew. And during that genuinely nice and flattering monologue he'd sway closer until - boom - it's too late, they're in smooch range now and no one is safe from the Captain's Appreciation Smooches.
It used to be somewhat of a rite of passage, back when Shanks was still actively recruiting. The day a new crew member got thier first Appreciation Smooch from their drunk captain was the day they became fully and irrevocably a part of the crew.
There is a rank list hanging in the galley on the Red Force, ranking the crew members by the number of smooches they have recieved from the captain. Benn is so far in the lead, no one will ever catch up to him, but the rest of the list is surprisingly balanced, as if there actually is a system to the captain's drunk madness that informs him whom of the crew he hasn't complimented and properly expressed his appreciation for in a while.
They considered adding Hawkeyes to the list after the first time he was subjected to the Appreciation Smooch, simply to watch how long it would take for him to climb the ranks and actually overtake Benn (and because his wide-eyed expression of utter surprise and confusion was beyond hilarious). Eventually they decided against it, because while the captain still hasn't figured out the list's meaning, they're fairly certain Hawkeyes would within mere hours of finding his own name on it.
Mihawk
After all these years, Hawkeyes still manages to be an enigma to most of the crew, despite having seen him around plenty. During the times where Mihawk was actively duelling the captain, they could count the passing weeks by the sound of Mihawk's boots on the deck and his grumbles of "Red Hair promised to shut up if I joined for a drink;" every Sunday like clockwork.
But even though they have seen Mihawk drink plenty (always and only expensive red wine that the captain stashes seperately just for Hawkeyes), they have barely ever seen him drunk. Even Benn, who has known Hawkeyes pretty much as long as he's known the captain, only somewhat understands what happens behind his unblinking eyes, and he does have the somewhat regular 'honour' of Mihawk sitting next to him as they sip their wine in silence, because Hawkeyes had quickly determined that Benn is the only person on board with good taste. It's a weird form of bonding, the total silence vaguely uncomfortable to observe, but the captain gets all mushy and happy about Hawkeyes engaging with the crew (even if its technically only Benn), so they suppose it's good enough.
None of them are ready for it when at some point a switch is flipped in Mihawk's brain and he decides that the Red Force is a proper safe place. Hawkeyes allows himself to get drunk, and while he's still eerily silent and prone to staring into the void, he starts emoting. Ever so slightly, little smiles, mostly directed at Shanks.
Lucky Roux is the first with the questionable luck of experiencing an expression of appreciation (maybe even friendship..?) from Hawkeyes. He was going around handing out little snacks to mitigate the incoming hangovers, when he walked up to Mihawk leaning against the reiling a little away from the rest of the bustle, to hand him a sandwich and encourage him to actually eat it too. Next thing he knew those yellow eyes were staring right into his soul, a hand resting on his shoulder for full two seconds of contact and Mihawk told him a quiet but genuine "thank you" before going back to staring into the void and nibbling on his sandwich.
By the time Lucky Roux was sitting back down and staring into his own drink again, he still hadn't managed to shake off the cold shiver caused by Hawkeyes' intensity, even though it was an unquestionably positive interaction. Lucky Roux gets the Captain's Appreciation Smooch that night, because of course Shanks saw that and is unreasonably happy about it.
Corazón/Rosinante
Honestly, the Red Hair Pirates still haven't quite understood how Corazón entered the whole *gestures* Situation that is the relationship involving the Captain and Hawkeyes. He's shown up one day in Haweyes' company and now he's here in all his clumsy glory, having the best of times chatting with the captain, while Hawkeyes gives them both the same sappy stare. The crew supposes its a net good and respects Rosinante's request to be called by his name rather than title as they incorporate him into the rounds of drinks.
Rosinante only ever drinks a single drink if his kid is with him. (And boy does the kid have opinions; he once prognosed when exactly he expects the captain to die of liver failure down to the month, which was only made more horrifying by Hongo solemnly nodding along in the background. At least Hongo had then continued to explain that he already had been slipping the captain a regimen of meds to prevent just that for years.)
As the kid grows older and is less present however, Rosinante allows himself to indulge. Turns out for all his clumsiness, he mixes the most amazing cocktails.
Speaking of his clumsiness, they still haven't figured out if drunk Rosinante is more or less clumsy than usual. They have seen him fully drunk walk a perfectly straight line, only to stumble over literally nothing and take a perfect swan dive right into the next group of people. At least once he's down, he stays down. Most of the time draped over at least three different laps, slurring out endless apologies, but not making a move to leave. They've quickly understood that Rosinante has been severely lacking positive physical contact in his life and let him stay where he is until Mihawk or the captain pick him up eventually. If they tried to move they supposed Rosinante would too and that would only result in another round of spilled drinks. Also they can't help but admit that Rosinante's presence is somehow calming and comfortable, so no harm done.
the end of the night
No matter what, a night of drinking would inevitable end with the captain, Hawkeyes and Rosinante piled in a heap in the corner. The captain happily snoring away, Hawkeyes somehow managing to lean against the next wall all proper and cool looking in his sleep, arms crossed and hat pulled down over his eyes (no one will ever point out that he drools for fear of death), Rosinante curled over them both like a very oversized cat, his feather coat doubling as a blanket.
Seeing them, the Red Hair Pirates are happy that things turned out like this. They all are maybe a bit too aware of just how dangerous a world they are living in, and just how close they've all come to death before.
Hey, by the way, when has anyone last checked in on the kid? Didn't Rosinante say something about Law recruiting himself a crew of his own? How's that going?
#seeing shanks and his partner(s) through the eyes of his crew is something very special to me#their insights and observations are a little more removed than benn's but equally glorious#they just want their captain to be happy and they'll deal even with hawkeyes' weirdness if that's what it takes#i'm pretty sure they'd just straight up love rosinante because he has the same genuine sunny personality as their captain#(for a second there they believe the captain's taste in men is actually pretty normal and hawkeyes is an outlier but that doesn't last long#rosinante bringing little law on board of the red force is also beyond funny#law would immediately start arguing medicine with hongo#hongo later: i like the kid he's a smart cookie (if inexperienced)#little law pretends to be all grumbly and disliking the rhp (having a hawkeyes shaped déjà vu yet?) but later admits that he likes them#especially because hongo would absolutely be the type to treat law like he would an adult and law actually learns some things from him#red hair pirates#red haired shanks#dracule mihawk#rosinante corazon#donquixote rosinante#trafalgar law#coramishanks fix it au#coramishanks#mishanks#corahawk#corashanks#one piece
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Finally getting the answers to what the plans for HetaOni were honestly feels like this
#personal#hetaoni#on one hand i can finally stop wondering what would have been and longing to know what else the creator had in store for it. i am free.#on the other hand? the answers have only given me even more to think about both on how the ending would have played out#as well as how an hypothetical sequel with everyone else saving italy would go#(because i Do Not accept an ending where italy isn't saved too as The Ending. it cannot end like that i simply refuse)#AND have also recontextualized the entire game when taking the plans for its connection with romaheta into consideration#while still leaving me pondering how it could've gone without the simulation angle. since while very interesting#it Does change a lot about what we previously knew. and so i still have hetaoni-as-its-own-thing (with the game so far as we knew before)#and hetaoni-as-a-trilogy (with all the new info we have now) coexisting in my brain as alternate versions of the story#thereby only giving me even more stuff to ponder about it#anyway happy one week anniversary of the hetaoni ending reveal!! (of when it got to tumblr/when i saw it anyway)#so happy to finally learn what was planned for it!! ive been hoping for this day for over half my life at this point its a dream come true#doesn't change the fact that this game continues to live rent free on my mind and i will keep thinking abt it forever til the end of time 👍
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One thing I like about Stolas is that he learns, and then he takes action of his own accord. He's not stagnant. Sure, he can be a bit oblivious and lost in his own head, but once he's finally informed that there is a problem he always makes a real effort to reflect on it and then do something about it.
We see it as early as Loo Loo Land, where he misses all the cues that Octavia is upset, but once she actually tells him what's wrong he immediately reassures her. He then promptly leaves with her, asks her what she wants to do instead, and takes her there despite not understanding the appeal. His focus is on her the whole time from the moment he finds her crying. He even carries her like she's a small child again the entire way back to the van, and she lets him because physical comfort is something she needs and he knows it.
We see it again after Ozzie's, where Blitz is finally honest about his belief that Stolas wants him for nothing but sex. After a night of heavy drinking, he immediately starts to reflect on things and comes to the correct conclusion that their deal needs to end, because in hindsight Blitz didn't seem happy or like he was having a good time like Stolas previously assumed, and then he tries to find Blitz a way to stay in business without relying on him. He gets a little side tracked because of the divorce, but he never gives up on getting Blitz an Asmodean Crystal, even when it requires him to wait several hours in Asmodeus' waiting room fresh out of the hospital.
We also see it in Apology Tour, where he reflects in his song and starts to realize that his behavior early on wasn't taken as him being cute and playful like he intended, but pushy and overbearing. Despite how Blitz hurt and yelled at him both that morning and the night before, he acknowledges that it wasn't malicious and doesn't try to put the blame for things going wrong on Blitz, although he doesn't yet realize that it's not because Blitz doesn't care, it's because he cares too much and is scared of that.
Stolas is learning and changing, but it's a slow process. It comes in pieces. Which is generally how it goes in real life, too. People don't usually change overnight, it can take years and years to fully unlearn bad behaviors and do better, but fuck if he isn't trying.
He needs problems spelled out for him though. He's been extremely sheltered and socially isolated his whole life, and there are a lot of things pointing to him being autistic as well. He's going to miss or misinterpret things that are just implied, there's simply no getting around that. For example, he was never going to realize that there are problems with how he treats imps in general without prompting, because that's been normalized for him and he's high enough on the food chain that almost no one is going to correct his unconscious bigotry. That is, until Blitz, who is perhaps the only person of a lower class Stolas knows who's not intimated by him in the slightest (other than Striker, who was torturing him at the time, which is yet another trauma barrier that will make it hard for him to reconcile with his racism/classism), tells him in a fit of rage.
I'm sure he'll reflect on Blitz's words and what they mean about how he acts when it's not less than 24 hours since he got his heart smashed to pieces. I don't know about you guys, but I know firsthand that the humiliation and betrayal he likely felt after having his feelings mocked not once, but twice (first on accident, but the next very much on purpose. Oh Blitz, the self-sabotage is so painful to see) take a little while to get over. Let him reflect on how his over-enthusiasm had him running roughshod over Blitz first for a bit, which he's already in the process of doing, then when things aren't so fresh he'll be in a better headspace to consider his overarching biases.
And from a narrative standpoint, the fact that it's taking a while for him to work through everything is a good thing. Expecting him to just Know Better is unrealistic and would cheapen his character arc. He's fighting to do better for the people he loves despite his trauma and implicit biases making that hard for him, and if he is autistic then there are just some things he will always struggle with, like reading social cues. But for any of his improvement to feel satisfying for the viewers then it has to move at a reasonable pace, and unfortunately that kind of change takes time. It's difficult, but he's actually doing a pretty good job so far. He's making a real effort to fix his behavior. But you gotta be patient, he's basically fumbling blindly through this alone.
Anyway, I just really love that, slowly but surely, he's learning. He's not being babied by the narrative or the creators, he's holding himself accountable and changing himself for the better. If you want realistic characters with nuance and depth then you have to let them actually act in the messy, imperfect ways real people do. This is true for Blitz and his character arc as well, but that's for a whole other post.
#helluva boss#stolas goetia#text post#meta#my post#long post#it's one thing to say he has issues he needs to address and work through#because he does#oh boy does he ever#but it's quite another to say he never learns and keeps making the same mistakes over and over#because he doesn't!#he might take a bit to notice there's an issue in the first place but he *always* works to do better once he does notice#give the poor guy some slack; he's doing the best he can with the limited knowledge and self-help tools he has#what he really needs is therapy and better meds because his don't seem to be working like they should even at a high dose#but that's highly unlikely to happen
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The options with the * are the ones I've already scanned, and all but the blorbo are sewing patterns (I've already shared the blorbo sewing pattern)
#I need to go back and check if I've actually shared that cat pattern#and the octopus pattern. I think I shared that? I do not remember#I seem to be doing better with the anemia tiredness#but then I had a stress-related flare up of my various health issues#handled the first one okay but the next day had a significantly worse stress#found out if I get stressed enough two days in a row while on long term steroids#I can crash really hard before it's time for my evening dose of steroids#I have learned better! I know now that if I start shaking badly and it's not low blood sugar it's 'take the next dose a little early' time#and I knew stress doses of steroids were a thing! I just though they were for physical stressors#despite me also knowing emotional stress can be an allergy trigger for me (yes I know that doesn't make sense)#(blame mast cell dysfunction)#it was only like an hour early and I have previously talked to my endocrinologist about stress doses#I just did not put two and two together lol#I'm okay now I'm just recovering and slowly hand quilting that baby quilt
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Hi!! Your art is so fucking cool! Can I ask what the process looks like for form line? Ex. What do your sketches look like when they are really rough? How do you go from idea -> final product. 💕
Hadih, thanks so much for your question!
Honestly, it's sort of hard to explain? I do have some sketches to sort of give an idea though.
This sketch I posted a couple days ago is a pretty good example of what my initial concept sketches sometimes look like.. As you can see, they're pretty chaotic and very rough, and usually these sketches are more about getting the idea down then actually making the formline itself. There aren't formline shapes just yet, although I do sometimes sketch out elements or shapes like eyes or bodies or paws/hands that will usually have an ovoid in it, because those elements tend to be a focus or centerpiece. The sketch is obviously not final, and things can change along the way to account for space and balance as well as what I'm trying to convey. (These sketches aren't entirely accurate of course because they're for pieces that are meant to be fusions of character illustrations and formline art, but they're the best thing I can find on my pc at the moment)
The rough sketch helps me figure out the flow of the piece, and once I'm satisfied with it I try and get to putting down the shapes and silhouette, and it's here where I try to find the balance with my rough sketch and how the shapes can fit and behave in the piece to the best of their limits while also still conveying the message I want to send. The most common shape I start with is the focus shapes, which are usually ovoids.
This rough of my harbor seal formline which I sent to my aunt for review sort of gives a better Idea of what I mean when I say I try and focus on where the centerpoints will be. Ovoids are usually a focus, so you can see them pop up a lot; in the body, the head, the eyes, the tail, etc. Ovoids are so important and probably the most common shape in formline art, and one of the most common feedback I get from my aunt is to adjust how the ovoid looks in any one of my pieces; she often compared them to a loaf of bread! You don't want your ovoids to look like a loaf of bread! (Her words, not mine). I feel like I've gotten better at drawing ovoids though, because she gives it as feedback less and less nowadays. Ovoids usually also have to have a bit of weight/perspective to them; it's hard to describe but essentially the top of the ovoid should usually be bigger/thicker/have more weight then the bottom.
From ovoids, the next shapes are usually circles, u-shapes and crescents, then usually y-shapes/trigons. It can be difficult, because the key is to make sure the shapes flow together and feel cohesive, as well as to make sure the negative/positive space balance feels right. Also a fun tidbit, trigons are most typically used to essentially fill space; it's always important to make sure that they are binding bigger shapes like u-shapes and ovoids and not stealing all the space and attention.
The lines in this stage tend to be very rough and messy, and I always try to go over the next rough draft with a smoother and cleaner pen.
Once the initial shapes are done, I'll usually send the piece to my aunt (sometimes I send them earlier on, when I'm in the middle of working out the shapes) for feedback! I am still a student in formline work after all; basically all of my teachings come from my aunt, who has a lot more years of work in formline art then me. She'll give me feedback and tips of what she thinks I should fix or experiment with. I adjust and fix and sometimes even completely delete and redo parts of the piece with her guidance. The list of things she tells me to change decreases with each piece, so I like to take that as a sign that I'm improving!
Once the black and white version of the design is done, I move onto coloring. Usually I already have a color scheme in mind when I go into a piece, so I'll mess around and put down colors and see how well they contrast before I color it. Typically, a piece will have about 3 colors; one for the background, one primary color, and one secondary color. I use a clipping layer to color the entire formline piece with the primary color, and then go in with the pen tool and bucket tool to use the secondary color. Adding in the secondary color is tricky but important because it once again falls into balancing positive and negative space/colors and the transitions between the two.
Once coloring is done, the project is basically finished! Unless there are some other plans I have for it, ie using it for an overlay in a bigger piece, colouring is usually the final stage.
And that's about it! I hope this helps you understand a bit; this isn't a perfect explanation as this is just from my own artistic POV and other nations and artists have their own process, but I hope it helps nonetheless!!
Edit: I forgot I posted other WIP formlines here before 😭 here and here!! You can sort of see me figure out the flow and balance of the designs in between the WIP and the finished piece!
#indigenous art#formline art#indigenous culture#the process of balancing shapes is a lot harder and more complex then I can describe in a tumblr post#it really is a balancing act that can take a long time to learn and i think i still have a way's to go to perfect my abilities#In that way it's sort of hard to describe and put down how exactly I do formline art I think? Bc of how close and thoughtful the process is#there's something very personal and honestly almost spiritual about finding that balance and figuring out how to convey the message you're-#trying to convey even if the piece doesn't seem that way (the amogus one lol). that's the most clear way I can describe it.#i am rambling a lot oops.
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and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#do you see the vision here <- guy who has a watch rate of one episode per month#oh the implications of scorpus not being there for tenax in his time of need... the death of the child who is not but is symbolically their#is that a separate fic completely yes but it is ALSO in some ways a divorce fic. tenax like i needed you but scorpus also needing him#OH MY GOD THEY LITERALLY DO SAY FELIX WAS HIM and i can do SO much with the concept of a “stray”. oh please. please strays instead of rats#one knife to the ribs one fixed race one apartment board THAT'S A STORYLINE BABY RISE OR DIE THE ROMAN WAYYYYYY#i do see your calla/tenax storylines i do. i could be swayed but we are not here for that currently this is the same as the chariot racing#like i KNOW what i said about the gold faction representing everything that scares scorpus a dream he never thought they'd reach#and then to have it ripped away now he no longer even has the dream untarnished i do understand. which is why the “i'm disappointed”#kills me even MORE because it shows he gets it. like on some level he does understand why scorpus had to but it's his pride that's wounde#so to continue from what i WAS saying with:#sets the bar so low because how else would tenax love him (as if tenax would not do the same thing if he lost) and they have even MORE#questionable celebratory reward sex. yes i assigned scorpus a degradation/praise kink the world works in wondrous ways don't question it#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#tenax making sure to care for the kids is what's killing me too because i REALLY want to draw a parallel with scorpus making sure he takes#care of the prostitutes. yes he's a notorious hedonist yes he has a lot of sex but he always pays well doesn't he. over-well. he pays too#much and ends up in debt he pays enough to buy girls freedom. so that they only have to if they want to. it gets him a reputation sure AND#it gets whole houses of girls under his (and therefore tenax's) protection. you can't bruise her up; that's scorpus' favorite girl.#she can charge more for being favored. he can pay for massive parties where no one else is invited and if he falls asleep midway drunk#off his ass after a race the girls would never say. they still get paid. if tenax comes to watch and give instructions they'd never say.#if tenax tells them all to leave and it's just him and scorpus in the golden room and all the girls see before they shut the door#and latch it behind them is scorpus on his knees in the soft plush cushions with tenax offering him grapes one by one from his fingertips#like a favored concubine instead of the champion whose laurels are tilted on his head they won't say a word. not even when the noise#inside the room continues for long after the hour runs out the girls still stand watch until it's quiet and then crawl back in around where#scorpus is alone in the big wrecked bed with a smear of blood or wine on his mouth who could say. certainly they wouldn't.#no matter what they still get paid. whether they did the work to wreck him or not.#ANYWAY#they take care of the selves they couldn't protect is what i'm trying to say. for tenax it's the child he was/scorpus it's the body he sold#only he hasn't stopped having to sell it. & i guess as we're learning with the extortion tenax is still a child running from a burning hous
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In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.
Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.
She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.
Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.
Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.
He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.
As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.
#green is better at masking in the sense that he doesnt struggle with facial expressions and can mimick others social behaviours pretty well#he really learned via watching others and practicing fake conversations in his head until he could navigate most conversations well#he does still have times where he did not account for certain factors or new situations so he has to observe and learn some more lol#leaf struggles with socializing even when she watches and tries to copy bc unlike green who is naturally a bit dramatic and animated#she instead leans heavily into having flat affect like red. she also struggles really hard with picking up on other ppls intent/feelings#the type of person who isnt sure what the emotion were feeling right now is bc she also struggles to identify her own feelings sometimes#red does that too. part of why hes very avoidant and internalizes everything is that he often can't identify exactly what hes feeling#and if he can he doesn't know how to make it feel better/would rather ignore it and try to focus on something else#green tries to internalize his negative emotions but i think hed struggle with it so he js def the type to bottle things up for awhile#but he quickly gets overwhelemed and ends up having a bit of a meltdown when he can't hold it in any more#hes very reactive. part of why his and oaks relationship is difficult to mend is bc green gets very easily triggered by any small jabs oak#makes at him even jf theyre unintentional especially if he compares him/his strength as a trainer to red#when red dissapears it would get worse bc he is constantly weighed down by guilt and can end up lashing out a bit#especially with his bpd making him prone to mood swings/very strong emotions he struggles to process#he gets better at it as he gets older but it's really overwhelming and difficult as a kid/teen bc oak is 0 help and daisy#does what she can to hell him when she can but shes his sister not his mom. im not making her take on a parental role she is also a kid#anyways. thjs js ungodly long#trainer red#trainer leaf#green oak#blue oak#pokemon headcanons
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so i wrote and posted this on my main half asleep og art @wolflyndraws here
he's got so many physical after effects with scars and skin damages but also mental: he's wild and completely feral. he lose himself, living outdoors. he hasn't had any contact with living, breathing being in a long, long time. even animals avoid him, leaving as soon as they see him. seeing him would scare anyone shitless, especially at first when the scars hasn't yet started to heal and the cuts on his face are gruesome and bloody. his body is one massive wound, it never stops hurting, driving him to madness. after a while, he slowly start to get better. his body starts to heal. his mind is still fissured but he gets more and more time as his old self. not totally back to himself, far from it, but he get more cognisant of what's happening around him and what he's doing. there's a point where he has to go back to a village to trade stuff. he doesn't trust anything not to hurt him and dislike the idea of letting anyone get close to him. needs must though, and after weighting up the pros and the cons, he goes to one nearby. he's not careful the first time around and the few people that saw his face expressed shock and disgust. they could not look at him without horror in their eyes and repugnance etched on their face. he honestly didn't think about what he would look like to others. he's been alone for so long at that point, and he avoid every reflective surface he has genuinely no idea what the torture left behind. but even without knowing, seeing other people reaction he can guess. ashamed, he runs away. but he can't stay hidden away forever, he still needs to trade. so he goes back, to another village. further away. clocked under a heavy, deep hooded, capelet. he's got no skin showing at all. and this time, interactions are easier. his voice is gruff, his vocal cords damaged. he hasn't spoken for a long time and the first few words he needs to utter are rough. he doesn't stay for long. he can't. so he makes the trips more often than he'd like too, just so he can spend as little time in here as he can at once. longer interactions makes him hyper aware and he nearly slip from the precarious balance that's his mental health. words goes around that one weird adventurer comes by, sometimes. taciturn and withdrawn, and in need of lots of personal space. and it attracts curiosity. everyone is eager to know who he is, where he's from and what he looks like. but Dream can't answer neither of those questions without people turning on him.
#i added and tweaked some#i think i'm gonna ad to background AGAIN#like#this is prison!dream where he was unlawfully imprisoned and tortured#prince!george wasn't here. there was a plot against him to kill him and usurp his place so he had to flee#but knight!dream didn't know because everything happened at the same time? so dream felt resentful george wouldn't step in and help#and george felt abandoned by hos favorite and most loyal knight when he didn't come find him#!cue misunderstanding#anyway#months later dream escape. kind of crazy and physically changed. george is still on the run living his life as a wanderer#george hear about a stranger hiding behind a mask and under a hood. someone no one has ever seen the face of. he might not even be human#all the job he takes about killing mobs are always done extra quick and like it's no big deal.#he gets known as the person to go to if you've got a pest problem and george got a persistent. annoying problem#he wants to go home and see his family again but can't so he goes to find the stranger#dream sees him and freaks out big time. flee.#george tracks him down not easily but dreams being in flight mode. out of his logical brain makes him sloppy#when he stops to his lair george finds himand doesn't really realized who he is facing#it looks like some kind of wildling with his untamed hair. growl like a cornered wolf flashing teeth. his face extra scary being disfigured#he ends up taming him and when he gets a good look at him he finally recognize dream#he's horrified because he thought dream was still at the castle with his family. he wants to know what the fuck happened#but dream still can't really talk much. especially about what happened to him so it's a long process of healing#and learning to trust each other again. learning each other like they did back then. even better#and they fall in love#minecraft dream!smp#feral!dream
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Feeling and looking good 🌈 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Even tho it hasn't been that long it still feels like I while since I've been in my doodle rotation lol just a lower density for a while#I forget if I mentioned the first time my favourite chair broke? It doesn't feel familiar in my head so I'll give a quick rundown lol#I frequent a rocking chair <3 It's the blue one I sometimes draw digitally :D And it's starting to show its age haha#I'm not very gentle on furniture - as evidenced by it breaking Again lol#There's a specific screw in its front-right support that takes the most pressure from me getting up and sitting down#It gets stressed and stretched and is more prone to breaking just from use and it's a very integral piece!#This time it broke Really good like I thought I could fix it myself - I could not lol the screw casing had to be removed from the wood pft#But it's fixed now! Back to rocking :) Yaay <3#Small silly set of wanting attention haha#Got it in small increments! But got it! Fully! Always happy for it haha#What was that joke doodle I made once - something like ''I have to be talked to every [XX] hours or I'll get sad'' lol#I mean it's not Untrue pft#I enjoy it <3#And the last one! Multimedia art actually!! Ah!#The latest CJ the X video about fashion Spoke To Me - I mean most of their work tends to lol but this one...yeah#Being raised in disparate little pockets of culture unfixed from a larger cultural language and feeling lost for it......../yeah/#And I do find a lot of comfort in the question being reframed from ''What do you like'' to ''Who are you? What are you?''#I don't know what I like! Not style-wise not on this body that I'm in possession of! I like what's comfortable but that doesn't Say much#Using fashion as a signal to others that I'd very much like to be viewed a certain way and learning the ''words'' to communicate that! Ah!!#So I looked up some What-and-Who fashions I wanted to emulate and ended up in an outfit of my own clothes that looked really great on me!!#Tank top with rolled-up sleeves on the button down over it - defuser necklace - my favourite black pants and shoes with Tamagotchis hehe#And of course my rainbow bracelet <3 I felt quite handsome :)#It's not something I've done again since with different clothes but it makes me Want to! I want to be seen by those I'm winking at haha#I think it's quite lovely :)
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complex feelings surrounding stories that don't flesh out a lot of the world building. bc it's like okay cool i get to make some stuff up in my fics. but on the other hand i want to know the details so that i don't have to make stuff up bc i don't want it to later be proven wrong
#satoru nii pls im begging u describe the world a little more. how big of a town is makochi. are there other schools or just furin#are the other gangs from makochi as well or from different nearby towns? if they're from makochi where the hell do they go to school?#*do* they go to school???? also everyone else seems to be from makochi but none of them seem to have#known each other/heard abt the others (except nirei) so like. once again how big of a town is makochi and how many schools does it have????#hitting my head against the wall#bc it gives the vibe of like. a smaller town that's like. starting to become rural but isn't rural *yet*. in that it gives the vibe of bein#too far from like. tokyo to be “big city” but the ppl who live here also aren't farmers. but they all know each other or can like#learn the names of the residents in the town. like it *feels* rural small town. but it's so clearly not#and like. if the other gangs are from the same city then it's gotta be a coastal city right bc there's a shipyard. and no way in hell#all these kids are riding trains for hours in full gang uniforms just to go have beef with another gang whose territory#doesn't even touch their own. but also they act so surprised sometimes when other gangs exist in their vicinity. BUT ALSO#some of them *aren't* nearby or at least require some travel to get there. like the red light district#im so confused. satoru nii pleaseeeeee draw a map. just for me. please im begging#i got too accustomed to the town descriptions and visuals in other manga (namely mha and jjk) and so now im really floundering#idek what prefecture makochi is in. how mountainous is it? how far north/south?#how long would a train ride to shizuoka take? can they even take the train there or would it also require a ferry? I NEED TO KNOW
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Now that the new mini arc is finally starting Imma make a couple predictions. Angelina is now a bizarre doll and ✨coincidentally✨at the hotel. Grelle is also there. For drama's sake you know how it goes.
#this is totally not just because angelina was the best part of early kuro and i desperately need to see her as a zombie#I'm especially confident in this after the recent arc and this a perfect time for a callback to the reaper arc#like c'mon there's just no way red isn't a bizarre doll undertaker had complete free access to her undamaged corpse#also speaking of which I'm surprised the orphanage mini arc is over already we didn't even learn anything about the lab finny came from 💀#saved for a later date or??#pleeeeaase i need to know more about my boy :<#at least we got snake's backstory tho#but am i the only one who felt that arc was a bit rushed?#while simultaneously only getting like ten pages a month the pacing is so weird XD#also as much as I want to see Soma and the Midfords again I doubt we'll see them this arc#maybe next arc#lord i do miss them though how long has it been?#i think soma is more likely to come back sooner than lizzy#I'd be surprised if he doesn't return by at least 2026#or however how long this current arc's gonna take idk#but that's just my thoughts#I'm not really worried because I think yana plans on keeping this story alive for the next couple of decades#so we have a lot of time for loose ends to get tied up#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji spoilers#< since a bunch of anime onlies have appeared with the new season#rambles
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Something that constantly bothers me about the idea of college gymnasts just "not being used" to "low" scores, or that it's too disheartening for them to receive them, is that all of these athletes spent years in level 10 and elite.
Elite, where a routine breaking an 8.0 E score is a big deal.
Level 10, where you'd expect a good athlete to score somewhere in the 9.0-9.7 range for a hit routine, with the possibility of 9.8-10 for really exceptional routines.
They know. I'm sure it's nice to come to college and see big numbers all the time (and many do continue to improve over their collegiate career). But they weren't sobbing over getting a 9.6 for a hit routine the year prior, they can handle the lower numbers.
Pretending that they have to be rewarded with giant scores every time is just another way of infantalizing the sport.
#gymnastics#NCAA gymnastics#How about everyone just put on their big kid pants#Commentators actually do their job and teach new fans#Even when it's harder than saying “Look at her personality!”#Fans investing 20 minutes into learning some of the details of how things work#Learning that there are set deductions and that things like low chests and short landings and precision in leaps and bent arms on bars#Getting the idea doesn't take long#And then theoretically commentators would help you see it real time and associate the assigned deduction#Because judges aren't just making random arbitrary choices in theory there's an actual rule book#And athletes not pretending they don't understand why the same routine they got 9.3 for last year in level 10 is scoring “only” a 9.875 now
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