#it doesn't even take long to learn
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Whenever there's a "do you pronounce it x or y" post they never use the IPA and it irks me. Now, i know why they don't use the IPA but it still irks me. I mean, why did i even learn it? Why did people put in the time and money to create it when it's not used for its most applicable mainstream use? Why do you insist on leveragin the relationship between english its outdated, unrevised written representation to create a sort of ad hoc phonetic spelling system when there's a perfectly good one right there? You're clanking rocks against each other in the hope one might gain a sharp edge like some sort of neolithic proto-toolsmith while there's a tool box waiting for you in your garage.
#i'm begging you#it doesn't even take long to learn#rant#ipa#international phonetic alphabet#linguistics#pronounciation
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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When They Are Drunk
(as observed by the Red Hair Pirates)
I forever love when we let the Red Hair Pirates interact with the mess that is their captain and his relationship(s), so here have some lenghty thoughts about Shanks, Mihawk and Rosinante interacting with the Red Hair Pirates while drunk in my CoraMiShanks Fix It AU under the cut:
Shanks
The Captain being drunk is neither a rare ocurrance nor a particularly interesting one. They've seen it all within a week of getting recruited, including the hour long rambles about how much he misses Hawkeyes even though they literally duelled each other two days ago.
The Red Hair Pirates have long since established a system for when they are among people on land or otherwise have guests on the Red Force, where the crew takes turns and one or two people remain sober on Captain watch duty; much to the eternal gratitude of Benn who has wrangled a drunk and poetry waxing Shanks way too often for his poor nerves and approaches it with an practiced aura of exasperation.
The one thing however that adds some fun to the mix is that after the captain finishes his hour rant about how much he loves Mihawk's creepy unblinking eyes, he turns his overflowing sentimentality on the rest of the crew.
His chosen 'victim' would be sitting there, minding their business when suddenly there's the captain's arm around their shoulders and he slurs a monologue of compliments about their skills and abilities and gratitude for all the things they do for the crew. And during that genuinely nice and flattering monologue he'd sway closer until - boom - it's too late, they're in smooch range now and no one is safe from the Captain's Appreciation Smooches.
It used to be somewhat of a rite of passage, back when Shanks was still actively recruiting. The day a new crew member got thier first Appreciation Smooch from their drunk captain was the day they became fully and irrevocably a part of the crew.
There is a rank list hanging in the galley on the Red Force, ranking the crew members by the number of smooches they have recieved from the captain. Benn is so far in the lead, no one will ever catch up to him, but the rest of the list is surprisingly balanced, as if there actually is a system to the captain's drunk madness that informs him whom of the crew he hasn't complimented and properly expressed his appreciation for in a while.
They considered adding Hawkeyes to the list after the first time he was subjected to the Appreciation Smooch, simply to watch how long it would take for him to climb the ranks and actually overtake Benn (and because his wide-eyed expression of utter surprise and confusion was beyond hilarious). Eventually they decided against it, because while the captain still hasn't figured out the list's meaning, they're fairly certain Hawkeyes would within mere hours of finding his own name on it.
Mihawk
After all these years, Hawkeyes still manages to be an enigma to most of the crew, despite having seen him around plenty. During the times where Mihawk was actively duelling the captain, they could count the passing weeks by the sound of Mihawk's boots on the deck and his grumbles of "Red Hair promised to shut up if I joined for a drink;" every Sunday like clockwork.
But even though they have seen Mihawk drink plenty (always and only expensive red wine that the captain stashes seperately just for Hawkeyes), they have barely ever seen him drunk. Even Benn, who has known Hawkeyes pretty much as long as he's known the captain, only somewhat understands what happens behind his unblinking eyes, and he does have the somewhat regular 'honour' of Mihawk sitting next to him as they sip their wine in silence, because Hawkeyes had quickly determined that Benn is the only person on board with good taste. It's a weird form of bonding, the total silence vaguely uncomfortable to observe, but the captain gets all mushy and happy about Hawkeyes engaging with the crew (even if its technically only Benn), so they suppose it's good enough.
None of them are ready for it when at some point a switch is flipped in Mihawk's brain and he decides that the Red Force is a proper safe place. Hawkeyes allows himself to get drunk, and while he's still eerily silent and prone to staring into the void, he starts emoting. Ever so slightly, little smiles, mostly directed at Shanks.
Lucky Roux is the first with the questionable luck of experiencing an expression of appreciation (maybe even friendship..?) from Hawkeyes. He was going around handing out little snacks to mitigate the incoming hangovers, when he walked up to Mihawk leaning against the reiling a little away from the rest of the bustle, to hand him a sandwich and encourage him to actually eat it too. Next thing he knew those yellow eyes were staring right into his soul, a hand resting on his shoulder for full two seconds of contact and Mihawk told him a quiet but genuine "thank you" before going back to staring into the void and nibbling on his sandwich.
By the time Lucky Roux was sitting back down and staring into his own drink again, he still hadn't managed to shake off the cold shiver caused by Hawkeyes' intensity, even though it was an unquestionably positive interaction. Lucky Roux gets the Captain's Appreciation Smooch that night, because of course Shanks saw that and is unreasonably happy about it.
Corazón/Rosinante
Honestly, the Red Hair Pirates still haven't quite understood how Corazón entered the whole *gestures* Situation that is the relationship involving the Captain and Hawkeyes. He's shown up one day in Haweyes' company and now he's here in all his clumsy glory, having the best of times chatting with the captain, while Hawkeyes gives them both the same sappy stare. The crew supposes its a net good and respects Rosinante's request to be called by his name rather than title as they incorporate him into the rounds of drinks.
Rosinante only ever drinks a single drink if his kid is with him. (And boy does the kid have opinions; he once prognosed when exactly he expects the captain to die of liver failure down to the month, which was only made more horrifying by Hongo solemnly nodding along in the background. At least Hongo had then continued to explain that he already had been slipping the captain a regimen of meds to prevent just that for years.)
As the kid grows older and is less present however, Rosinante allows himself to indulge. Turns out for all his clumsiness, he mixes the most amazing cocktails.
Speaking of his clumsiness, they still haven't figured out if drunk Rosinante is more or less clumsy than usual. They have seen him fully drunk walk a perfectly straight line, only to stumble over literally nothing and take a perfect swan dive right into the next group of people. At least once he's down, he stays down. Most of the time draped over at least three different laps, slurring out endless apologies, but not making a move to leave. They've quickly understood that Rosinante has been severely lacking positive physical contact in his life and let him stay where he is until Mihawk or the captain pick him up eventually. If they tried to move they supposed Rosinante would too and that would only result in another round of spilled drinks. Also they can't help but admit that Rosinante's presence is somehow calming and comfortable, so no harm done.
the end of the night
No matter what, a night of drinking would inevitable end with the captain, Hawkeyes and Rosinante piled in a heap in the corner. The captain happily snoring away, Hawkeyes somehow managing to lean against the next wall all proper and cool looking in his sleep, arms crossed and hat pulled down over his eyes (no one will ever point out that he drools for fear of death), Rosinante curled over them both like a very oversized cat, his feather coat doubling as a blanket.
Seeing them, the Red Hair Pirates are happy that things turned out like this. They all are maybe a bit too aware of just how dangerous a world they are living in, and just how close they've all come to death before.
Hey, by the way, when has anyone last checked in on the kid? Didn't Rosinante say something about Law recruiting himself a crew of his own? How's that going?
#seeing shanks and his partner(s) through the eyes of his crew is something very special to me#their insights and observations are a little more removed than benn's but equally glorious#they just want their captain to be happy and they'll deal even with hawkeyes' weirdness if that's what it takes#i'm pretty sure they'd just straight up love rosinante because he has the same genuine sunny personality as their captain#(for a second there they believe the captain's taste in men is actually pretty normal and hawkeyes is an outlier but that doesn't last long#rosinante bringing little law on board of the red force is also beyond funny#law would immediately start arguing medicine with hongo#hongo later: i like the kid he's a smart cookie (if inexperienced)#little law pretends to be all grumbly and disliking the rhp (having a hawkeyes shaped déjà vu yet?) but later admits that he likes them#especially because hongo would absolutely be the type to treat law like he would an adult and law actually learns some things from him#red hair pirates#red haired shanks#dracule mihawk#rosinante corazon#donquixote rosinante#trafalgar law#coramishanks fix it au#coramishanks#mishanks#corahawk#corashanks#one piece
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One thing I like about Stolas is that he learns, and then he takes action of his own accord. He's not stagnant. Sure, he can be a bit oblivious and lost in his own head, but once he's finally informed that there is a problem he always makes a real effort to reflect on it and then do something about it.
We see it as early as Loo Loo Land, where he misses all the cues that Octavia is upset, but once she actually tells him what's wrong he immediately reassures her. He then promptly leaves with her, asks her what she wants to do instead, and takes her there despite not understanding the appeal. His focus is on her the whole time from the moment he finds her crying. He even carries her like she's a small child again the entire way back to the van, and she lets him because physical comfort is something she needs and he knows it.
We see it again after Ozzie's, where Blitz is finally honest about his belief that Stolas wants him for nothing but sex. After a night of heavy drinking, he immediately starts to reflect on things and comes to the correct conclusion that their deal needs to end, because in hindsight Blitz didn't seem happy or like he was having a good time like Stolas previously assumed, and then he tries to find Blitz a way to stay in business without relying on him. He gets a little side tracked because of the divorce, but he never gives up on getting Blitz an Asmodean Crystal, even when it requires him to wait several hours in Asmodeus' waiting room fresh out of the hospital.
We also see it in Apology Tour, where he reflects in his song and starts to realize that his behavior early on wasn't taken as him being cute and playful like he intended, but pushy and overbearing. Despite how Blitz hurt and yelled at him both that morning and the night before, he acknowledges that it wasn't malicious and doesn't try to put the blame for things going wrong on Blitz, although he doesn't yet realize that it's not because Blitz doesn't care, it's because he cares too much and is scared of that.
Stolas is learning and changing, but it's a slow process. It comes in pieces. Which is generally how it goes in real life, too. People don't usually change overnight, it can take years and years to fully unlearn bad behaviors and do better, but fuck if he isn't trying.
He needs problems spelled out for him though. He's been extremely sheltered and socially isolated his whole life, and there are a lot of things pointing to him being autistic as well. He's going to miss or misinterpret things that are just implied, there's simply no getting around that. For example, he was never going to realize that there are problems with how he treats imps in general without prompting, because that's been normalized for him and he's high enough on the food chain that almost no one is going to correct his unconscious bigotry. That is, until Blitz, who is perhaps the only person of a lower class Stolas knows who's not intimated by him in the slightest (other than Striker, who was torturing him at the time, which is yet another trauma barrier that will make it hard for him to reconcile with his racism/classism), tells him in a fit of rage.
I'm sure he'll reflect on Blitz's words and what they mean about how he acts when it's not less than 24 hours since he got his heart smashed to pieces. I don't know about you guys, but I know firsthand that the humiliation and betrayal he likely felt after having his feelings mocked not once, but twice (first on accident, but the next very much on purpose. Oh Blitz, the self-sabotage is so painful to see) take a little while to get over. Let him reflect on how his over-enthusiasm had him running roughshod over Blitz first for a bit, which he's already in the process of doing, then when things aren't so fresh he'll be in a better headspace to consider his overarching biases.
And from a narrative standpoint, the fact that it's taking a while for him to work through everything is a good thing. Expecting him to just Know Better is unrealistic and would cheapen his character arc. He's fighting to do better for the people he loves despite his trauma and implicit biases making that hard for him, and if he is autistic then there are just some things he will always struggle with, like reading social cues. But for any of his improvement to feel satisfying for the viewers then it has to move at a reasonable pace, and unfortunately that kind of change takes time. It's difficult, but he's actually doing a pretty good job so far. He's making a real effort to fix his behavior. But you gotta be patient, he's basically fumbling blindly through this alone.
Anyway, I just really love that, slowly but surely, he's learning. He's not being babied by the narrative or the creators, he's holding himself accountable and changing himself for the better. If you want realistic characters with nuance and depth then you have to let them actually act in the messy, imperfect ways real people do. This is true for Blitz and his character arc as well, but that's for a whole other post.
#helluva boss#stolas goetia#text post#meta#my post#long post#it's one thing to say he has issues he needs to address and work through#because he does#oh boy does he ever#but it's quite another to say he never learns and keeps making the same mistakes over and over#because he doesn't!#he might take a bit to notice there's an issue in the first place but he *always* works to do better once he does notice#give the poor guy some slack; he's doing the best he can with the limited knowledge and self-help tools he has#what he really needs is therapy and better meds because his don't seem to be working like they should even at a high dose#but that's highly unlikely to happen
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The options with the * are the ones I've already scanned, and all but the blorbo are sewing patterns (I've already shared the blorbo sewing pattern)
#I need to go back and check if I've actually shared that cat pattern#and the octopus pattern. I think I shared that? I do not remember#I seem to be doing better with the anemia tiredness#but then I had a stress-related flare up of my various health issues#handled the first one okay but the next day had a significantly worse stress#found out if I get stressed enough two days in a row while on long term steroids#I can crash really hard before it's time for my evening dose of steroids#I have learned better! I know now that if I start shaking badly and it's not low blood sugar it's 'take the next dose a little early' time#and I knew stress doses of steroids were a thing! I just though they were for physical stressors#despite me also knowing emotional stress can be an allergy trigger for me (yes I know that doesn't make sense)#(blame mast cell dysfunction)#it was only like an hour early and I have previously talked to my endocrinologist about stress doses#I just did not put two and two together lol#I'm okay now I'm just recovering and slowly hand quilting that baby quilt
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Hi!! Your art is so fucking cool! Can I ask what the process looks like for form line? Ex. What do your sketches look like when they are really rough? How do you go from idea -> final product. 💕
Hadih, thanks so much for your question!
Honestly, it's sort of hard to explain? I do have some sketches to sort of give an idea though.
This sketch I posted a couple days ago is a pretty good example of what my initial concept sketches sometimes look like.. As you can see, they're pretty chaotic and very rough, and usually these sketches are more about getting the idea down then actually making the formline itself. There aren't formline shapes just yet, although I do sometimes sketch out elements or shapes like eyes or bodies or paws/hands that will usually have an ovoid in it, because those elements tend to be a focus or centerpiece. The sketch is obviously not final, and things can change along the way to account for space and balance as well as what I'm trying to convey. (These sketches aren't entirely accurate of course because they're for pieces that are meant to be fusions of character illustrations and formline art, but they're the best thing I can find on my pc at the moment)
The rough sketch helps me figure out the flow of the piece, and once I'm satisfied with it I try and get to putting down the shapes and silhouette, and it's here where I try to find the balance with my rough sketch and how the shapes can fit and behave in the piece to the best of their limits while also still conveying the message I want to send. The most common shape I start with is the focus shapes, which are usually ovoids.
This rough of my harbor seal formline which I sent to my aunt for review sort of gives a better Idea of what I mean when I say I try and focus on where the centerpoints will be. Ovoids are usually a focus, so you can see them pop up a lot; in the body, the head, the eyes, the tail, etc. Ovoids are so important and probably the most common shape in formline art, and one of the most common feedback I get from my aunt is to adjust how the ovoid looks in any one of my pieces; she often compared them to a loaf of bread! You don't want your ovoids to look like a loaf of bread! (Her words, not mine). I feel like I've gotten better at drawing ovoids though, because she gives it as feedback less and less nowadays. Ovoids usually also have to have a bit of weight/perspective to them; it's hard to describe but essentially the top of the ovoid should usually be bigger/thicker/have more weight then the bottom.
From ovoids, the next shapes are usually circles, u-shapes and crescents, then usually y-shapes/trigons. It can be difficult, because the key is to make sure the shapes flow together and feel cohesive, as well as to make sure the negative/positive space balance feels right. Also a fun tidbit, trigons are most typically used to essentially fill space; it's always important to make sure that they are binding bigger shapes like u-shapes and ovoids and not stealing all the space and attention.
The lines in this stage tend to be very rough and messy, and I always try to go over the next rough draft with a smoother and cleaner pen.
Once the initial shapes are done, I'll usually send the piece to my aunt (sometimes I send them earlier on, when I'm in the middle of working out the shapes) for feedback! I am still a student in formline work after all; basically all of my teachings come from my aunt, who has a lot more years of work in formline art then me. She'll give me feedback and tips of what she thinks I should fix or experiment with. I adjust and fix and sometimes even completely delete and redo parts of the piece with her guidance. The list of things she tells me to change decreases with each piece, so I like to take that as a sign that I'm improving!
Once the black and white version of the design is done, I move onto coloring. Usually I already have a color scheme in mind when I go into a piece, so I'll mess around and put down colors and see how well they contrast before I color it. Typically, a piece will have about 3 colors; one for the background, one primary color, and one secondary color. I use a clipping layer to color the entire formline piece with the primary color, and then go in with the pen tool and bucket tool to use the secondary color. Adding in the secondary color is tricky but important because it once again falls into balancing positive and negative space/colors and the transitions between the two.
Once coloring is done, the project is basically finished! Unless there are some other plans I have for it, ie using it for an overlay in a bigger piece, colouring is usually the final stage.
And that's about it! I hope this helps you understand a bit; this isn't a perfect explanation as this is just from my own artistic POV and other nations and artists have their own process, but I hope it helps nonetheless!!
Edit: I forgot I posted other WIP formlines here before 😭 here and here!! You can sort of see me figure out the flow and balance of the designs in between the WIP and the finished piece!
#indigenous art#formline art#indigenous culture#the process of balancing shapes is a lot harder and more complex then I can describe in a tumblr post#it really is a balancing act that can take a long time to learn and i think i still have a way's to go to perfect my abilities#In that way it's sort of hard to describe and put down how exactly I do formline art I think? Bc of how close and thoughtful the process is#there's something very personal and honestly almost spiritual about finding that balance and figuring out how to convey the message you're-#trying to convey even if the piece doesn't seem that way (the amogus one lol). that's the most clear way I can describe it.#i am rambling a lot oops.
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In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.
Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.
She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.
Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.
Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.
He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.
As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.
#green is better at masking in the sense that he doesnt struggle with facial expressions and can mimick others social behaviours pretty well#he really learned via watching others and practicing fake conversations in his head until he could navigate most conversations well#he does still have times where he did not account for certain factors or new situations so he has to observe and learn some more lol#leaf struggles with socializing even when she watches and tries to copy bc unlike green who is naturally a bit dramatic and animated#she instead leans heavily into having flat affect like red. she also struggles really hard with picking up on other ppls intent/feelings#the type of person who isnt sure what the emotion were feeling right now is bc she also struggles to identify her own feelings sometimes#red does that too. part of why hes very avoidant and internalizes everything is that he often can't identify exactly what hes feeling#and if he can he doesn't know how to make it feel better/would rather ignore it and try to focus on something else#green tries to internalize his negative emotions but i think hed struggle with it so he js def the type to bottle things up for awhile#but he quickly gets overwhelemed and ends up having a bit of a meltdown when he can't hold it in any more#hes very reactive. part of why his and oaks relationship is difficult to mend is bc green gets very easily triggered by any small jabs oak#makes at him even jf theyre unintentional especially if he compares him/his strength as a trainer to red#when red dissapears it would get worse bc he is constantly weighed down by guilt and can end up lashing out a bit#especially with his bpd making him prone to mood swings/very strong emotions he struggles to process#he gets better at it as he gets older but it's really overwhelming and difficult as a kid/teen bc oak is 0 help and daisy#does what she can to hell him when she can but shes his sister not his mom. im not making her take on a parental role she is also a kid#anyways. thjs js ungodly long#trainer red#trainer leaf#green oak#blue oak#pokemon headcanons
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and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#do you see the vision here <- guy who has a watch rate of one episode per month#oh the implications of scorpus not being there for tenax in his time of need... the death of the child who is not but is symbolically their#is that a separate fic completely yes but it is ALSO in some ways a divorce fic. tenax like i needed you but scorpus also needing him#OH MY GOD THEY LITERALLY DO SAY FELIX WAS HIM and i can do SO much with the concept of a “stray”. oh please. please strays instead of rats#one knife to the ribs one fixed race one apartment board THAT'S A STORYLINE BABY RISE OR DIE THE ROMAN WAYYYYYY#i do see your calla/tenax storylines i do. i could be swayed but we are not here for that currently this is the same as the chariot racing#like i KNOW what i said about the gold faction representing everything that scares scorpus a dream he never thought they'd reach#and then to have it ripped away now he no longer even has the dream untarnished i do understand. which is why the “i'm disappointed”#kills me even MORE because it shows he gets it. like on some level he does understand why scorpus had to but it's his pride that's wounde#so to continue from what i WAS saying with:#sets the bar so low because how else would tenax love him (as if tenax would not do the same thing if he lost) and they have even MORE#questionable celebratory reward sex. yes i assigned scorpus a degradation/praise kink the world works in wondrous ways don't question it#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#tenax making sure to care for the kids is what's killing me too because i REALLY want to draw a parallel with scorpus making sure he takes#care of the prostitutes. yes he's a notorious hedonist yes he has a lot of sex but he always pays well doesn't he. over-well. he pays too#much and ends up in debt he pays enough to buy girls freedom. so that they only have to if they want to. it gets him a reputation sure AND#it gets whole houses of girls under his (and therefore tenax's) protection. you can't bruise her up; that's scorpus' favorite girl.#she can charge more for being favored. he can pay for massive parties where no one else is invited and if he falls asleep midway drunk#off his ass after a race the girls would never say. they still get paid. if tenax comes to watch and give instructions they'd never say.#if tenax tells them all to leave and it's just him and scorpus in the golden room and all the girls see before they shut the door#and latch it behind them is scorpus on his knees in the soft plush cushions with tenax offering him grapes one by one from his fingertips#like a favored concubine instead of the champion whose laurels are tilted on his head they won't say a word. not even when the noise#inside the room continues for long after the hour runs out the girls still stand watch until it's quiet and then crawl back in around where#scorpus is alone in the big wrecked bed with a smear of blood or wine on his mouth who could say. certainly they wouldn't.#no matter what they still get paid. whether they did the work to wreck him or not.#ANYWAY#they take care of the selves they couldn't protect is what i'm trying to say. for tenax it's the child he was/scorpus it's the body he sold#only he hasn't stopped having to sell it. & i guess as we're learning with the extortion tenax is still a child running from a burning hous
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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Feeling and looking good 🌈 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Even tho it hasn't been that long it still feels like I while since I've been in my doodle rotation lol just a lower density for a while#I forget if I mentioned the first time my favourite chair broke? It doesn't feel familiar in my head so I'll give a quick rundown lol#I frequent a rocking chair <3 It's the blue one I sometimes draw digitally :D And it's starting to show its age haha#I'm not very gentle on furniture - as evidenced by it breaking Again lol#There's a specific screw in its front-right support that takes the most pressure from me getting up and sitting down#It gets stressed and stretched and is more prone to breaking just from use and it's a very integral piece!#This time it broke Really good like I thought I could fix it myself - I could not lol the screw casing had to be removed from the wood pft#But it's fixed now! Back to rocking :) Yaay <3#Small silly set of wanting attention haha#Got it in small increments! But got it! Fully! Always happy for it haha#What was that joke doodle I made once - something like ''I have to be talked to every [XX] hours or I'll get sad'' lol#I mean it's not Untrue pft#I enjoy it <3#And the last one! Multimedia art actually!! Ah!#The latest CJ the X video about fashion Spoke To Me - I mean most of their work tends to lol but this one...yeah#Being raised in disparate little pockets of culture unfixed from a larger cultural language and feeling lost for it......../yeah/#And I do find a lot of comfort in the question being reframed from ''What do you like'' to ''Who are you? What are you?''#I don't know what I like! Not style-wise not on this body that I'm in possession of! I like what's comfortable but that doesn't Say much#Using fashion as a signal to others that I'd very much like to be viewed a certain way and learning the ''words'' to communicate that! Ah!!#So I looked up some What-and-Who fashions I wanted to emulate and ended up in an outfit of my own clothes that looked really great on me!!#Tank top with rolled-up sleeves on the button down over it - defuser necklace - my favourite black pants and shoes with Tamagotchis hehe#And of course my rainbow bracelet <3 I felt quite handsome :)#It's not something I've done again since with different clothes but it makes me Want to! I want to be seen by those I'm winking at haha#I think it's quite lovely :)
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Now that the new mini arc is finally starting Imma make a couple predictions. Angelina is now a bizarre doll and ✨coincidentally✨at the hotel. Grelle is also there. For drama's sake you know how it goes.
#this is totally not just because angelina was the best part of early kuro and i desperately need to see her as a zombie#I'm especially confident in this after the recent arc and this a perfect time for a callback to the reaper arc#like c'mon there's just no way red isn't a bizarre doll undertaker had complete free access to her undamaged corpse#also speaking of which I'm surprised the orphanage mini arc is over already we didn't even learn anything about the lab finny came from 💀#saved for a later date or??#pleeeeaase i need to know more about my boy :<#at least we got snake's backstory tho#but am i the only one who felt that arc was a bit rushed?#while simultaneously only getting like ten pages a month the pacing is so weird XD#also as much as I want to see Soma and the Midfords again I doubt we'll see them this arc#maybe next arc#lord i do miss them though how long has it been?#i think soma is more likely to come back sooner than lizzy#I'd be surprised if he doesn't return by at least 2026#or however how long this current arc's gonna take idk#but that's just my thoughts#I'm not really worried because I think yana plans on keeping this story alive for the next couple of decades#so we have a lot of time for loose ends to get tied up#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji spoilers#< since a bunch of anime onlies have appeared with the new season#rambles
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Local libraries getting rid of physical medias such as newspapers, magazines, cds, dvds, and audiobooks is turning experiencing art into a privilege instead of a right but I don't think you guys are ready for that conversation
#the 95 year old lady who takes the city bus from the old folks home three times a week doesn't have spotify or a smartphone or a computer#how is she going to listen to her johnny cash cds#do you know how many kids I attended school with didn't have internet or wifi???#that wasn't even that long ago#they do not have streaming services stop getting rid of dvds and stop not buying new ones#also there are so many people who have a smart phone and the only thing they know how to do is call or text#if they want to keep using audiobooks let them! It's not killing you that they're not using libby#yes libby and hoopla and kanopy are great but the latter two have limited checkouts and the former usually has long waits#its not fair to expect older people and children learn how to use them if they don't want to or can't!#also magazines are basically unreadable online#so many girls will not be able to experience borrowing american girl magazines from the library because the library doesn't have magazines!#also don't even get me started on no newspapers#sorry I don't have the money for a monthly subscription to a newpaper guess I just won't know the news now#this is why everyone is getting fake news from twitter!#"but everyone has spotify and streaming services and audible and wifi and internet and smartphones and ipads and laptops#newsflash! they don't!#getting rid of physical media from libraries is actually very classist and ageist but people don't want to hear that#I love local libraries and think they are an amazing resource in so many ways#and that's why it hurts so much that they would leave such a large portion of their customers high and dry to maybe save a few bucks#rant#tags so long they probably could've been their own post lol
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what does your heart look like?
iced over, out of the sun
Your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? Is your fortress of ice self-made? Are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? Are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? Vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. You will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.
#boredom killer {dash games}#//OWWWWW#//THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THOUGH#//he's scared of vulnerability and as a result he doesn't commit himself fully even if he looks like he is#//and as soon as lambda learns that not everyone is going to hurt him or secretly hates him he will have a much easier time getting to-#//- know people. granted it's going to take a very long time for him to absorb that but still
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"Hey Buckster... Fun fact! I mean, maybe not fun, but I kinda like knowing where shit comes from. The bad luck of breaking a mirror came from wwaaaayyy back in the day when mirrors were extremely expensive. We're talkin' like kings and queens and knights kinda shit. If you broke one, it was 'bad luck' because they were worth so much and hard to get. If you had one and someone broke it? Oh their ass was GRASS. Eventually it just grew into a myth about it being unlucky.
"Hey its not like I know a lotta things. So when I ACTUALLY knew a thing, thought I'd share it."
"I got bad news, kid; it's probably older than that."
"Lotta superstitions are, what? A few thousand years old and mostly 'cause of religion? S'probably older than glass front mirrors."
#ic#ic!ask#ic!answer#holygroundscafe#afallencommando : bucky barnes#verse : ???#ooc: DID YOU KNOW: unlucky 13 was popularised by Christians in the 18th century (1700s)#ooc: also breaking mirrors being 7 years bad luck likely comes from the Romans; mirrors were where gods observed the soul#ooc: so breaking the reflection was disrespectful to the gods BUT 7 year life cycle means a time limit#ooc: me trying to figure out how much Bucky would know about ancient roman beliefs#ooc: just because I'M into beliefs and the origins of them doesn't mean HE is#ooc: but I wanted to ramble so badly T.T#ooc: I've decided that he's just like 'anything I know about is definitely older than we think'#ooc: but also I wish 1920s american schools had taught about ancient beliefs because bucky would have been an ancient greece kid#ooc: child!bucky reading about narcissus and forever worrying that he's the same even tho he definitely is not#ooc: like brooklyn was overrun with catholic churches to the point they were mad about public schools#ooc: there's no fuckin way they learned about ancient greek or ancient roman beliefs#ooc: i did in my church of england schools but church of england is lazy christianity. we got cliffnotes of the bible#ooc: we did the lord's prayer at assemblies and they weren't every day#ooc: we didn't even have to thank god for our lunches#ooc: CofE is the laziest form of christianity and it's making me laugh so hard#ooc: henry VIII looked at catholicism and went 'i'm adding divorce and taking away the majority of the religion' and no one stopped him#ooc: i'm very certain the catholics tried but man probably chopped their heads off and stuck 'em on pikes#ooc: the only person to like cutting heads off as much as french revolutionaries#ooc: LONG TAGS BCUS I'M A FUCKIN HISTORY NERD AYOOOO#gif warning#flashing warning#flashing gif
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Ok so. For me at least, Laois and Mithrun are the only ones here who are swagless with this type look. The others are rocking it (especially the girls!!) But i wondered why Laois and Mithrun are not? Even when the shirts itself are fine?
Well, in Laois case it's because there is no contrast and layers. I'd suggest wearing a black turtleneck but knowing thru another comic he doesn't like it due to sensor issues, just a tshirt is fine too
^So something like this!!
For Mithrun its the jeans, belt and shies. He looks like a middle aged men. I mean he is 😭 but like. Babygirl no 😭
He is cleary influenced by the canaries besides him but he completely missed important details. Like, not wearing a brown belt + having the pants be high waisted, plus the jeans itself not be in this weird shape? It feels like it simultaneously too tight and too oversized for him. Either let the jeans be straight/fit or have flowly shape + the shoes be black or another color instead of white, with colorful socks. Contrast and yadda yadda
This outfit is very popular so its easier to find it.
Also both should wear accessories!! Although not super necessary they certainly help!
And that its! Thanks for listening to my tedtalk + fashion lesson bye bye
#🪐.txt#anyways although im judging i have ti say that 1. as long it makes you happy wears whatever u want even if it looks 'bad'#2. character wise this make sense. each character ears this type of shirt in a way that makes sense#ofc Mithrun who is middle aged and doesn't care abt his apparence will wear that style like That#and ofc Laois who dont know much abt fashion stuff would wear the shirt without caring abt looking Good#Kabru likes to wear dark colors so it makes sense he would wear something dark (and it works! it gives me retro bar vibes)#the elfs ofc are Fashionable like pinterest models#and Marcille too but also with the influence of Falin (yadda yadda her being gay but also being half human so ofc human style would#influece her)#chilchuk looks like a middle aged guy but in Bisexual Dad Who Takes Care Of the Barbecue font and it works (mithrun should learn from him!)#falin looks really cute and comfy and it matches her really well! (laois learn from her pls!) this is bc although there is no layering#she rocks it with the shape. the shirt's shape flows well with her body and it looks#Namari is similar to Chilchuk but in the same way that middle aged dads and dykes have the same style#and thats it!#feel free to rb if you want
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I wish all jujutsu kaisen fans a very media literacy and manga reread
#Shut up shut up the ending makes sense just take ur time to read and ponder it doesn't have to be explicitly held held explained to u#I won't insist that my every interpretation is 100% correct but thr beauty of story is it can mean what it needs to for readers as individua#I'm so content with the way that it ended bc yeah I have read and spun theories and reread it until it made sense#I didn't understand much the first time it always takes several reads and translations notes help a lot too#But there IS a lot of information there if you're open to finding it#Gege is rly thr best it's so unfortunate#Jujutsu kaisen fans can't read#Like are we even fans if we talk shit on the author?? I don't think you are but why read just to hate it??#Jjk ending#Jjk manga#Gege did nothing wrong#Rant#Vent#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fandom#There are things I'd never understand on my own but lovely readers do research and share what they learn about historical culture language#Context etc and idk I also get that it's hard to sort through. The majority of takes are easily debunked. But if you just. If you just read#The manga several times.... It gets better and more intense and sensical and emotional every time...#Sigh#Sorry I'm sleep deprived and sick of all the gege hate on my fyp!#It never ends I never interact I hide those posts but they still show#Which means I follow a closet hater or the algorithm sucks ass#Probably#Gege akutami#I owe u my life#This last year has been rly hard and idk how I would've survived without your work#I hope u have a good rest and recreational period for as long as u want to
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