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bucksangel · 1 day ago

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don't blame me (love made me crazy)

Pairing: softdark!stalker!bucky x reader

Word count: 6.4k

Summary: You’ve been stuck in this cabin for a year, and over the course of that time you’ve tried so hard to remember that you didn’t come here willingly. But, Bucky is really good at making you forget that part, until, eventually, you come to believe that this is where you’re meant to be. No matter how you got here.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!!! Minors DNI, references to kidnapping, full on stockholm syndrome, smut, wet dreams, fingering, oral (f receiving), soft love-making mixed with some roughness, squirting, crying is healthy, a little hurt-comfort, alpine makes an appearance

a/n: this is part 2 to temptation!! However, you don’t necessarily need to read part 1 to understand this, it will just give some backstory. not beta-read so all mistakes are my own.

masterlist | tip jar | ao3

Soft, plush lips are brushing over yours, hands caressing your sides and squeezing every so often, your hips rocking. You’re not quite sure where you are or who is touching you, you can only make out the hazy form above you; bright blue eyes darkened by desire stare down at you. The person pulls back at the same time you feel a pressure between your legs. Upon looking down, you see a toned stomach clenching every time their hips meet the back of your thighs. You’re spread open, gasping and whining as more pressure builds. Slowly trailing your gaze upwards, your eyes roam over an equally chiseled chest, your eyes catching the reflection of light on metal. And that’s when you know who it is that’s currently inside you, but you don’t seem to believe it until you look up further and come face to face with –

Bucky. It’s Bucky, his smile so soft and loving, his breath fanning over your face as he whispers praises into the air. You can’t make out what he’s saying, everything is still too fuzzy, all you know is that you’re about to cum. You can feel it, you can practically taste it, and you’re sure Bucky can tell because he shudders when you involuntarily clench around him.

“Angel,” He whispers, cutting through the fog in your head. You whine, wiggling your hips slightly to get him to go faster. He doesn’t.

“Angel,” He says again, louder this time. You can feel yourself rocking, and more whines and whimpers spill from your lips.

Your body is shaken a little harder, and all at once, the haze is gone.

The haze is gone, now replaced by the soft light of the sun streaming in through the curtains. Upon opening your eyes, you blink slowly, staring up at a smiling Bucky with bleary eyes.

“B-Bucky?” You mumble, voice thick with sleep. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost seven-thirty. I was going to wake you up so we could shower together, but you looked so peaceful that I decided to let you sleep in a little longer.” His smile gives away that he probably knew what you were dreaming about, and the thought makes your face grow hot. There’s a stickiness between your legs, one that you’re desperately trying to ignore as you sit upright.

“Oh, I - I’m sorry,” You say remorsefully, you know how much Bucky likes keeping you on a routine. You’re supposed to wake up at seven every morning, shower with Bucky, and then sit on his lap as he feeds you whatever he made for breakfast that day. So, for him to disrupt your schedule, even by thirty minutes, feels weird. You decide not to question it for the time being.

“No, baby, it’s okay,” Bucky says as he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I know we did a lot of gardening yesterday so being in that heat probably made you extra tired. But, now that you’re up, why don’t you go ahead and get showered while I make us some food, yeah?”

Even though it’s phrased as a question, you know it’s not. You don’t really get a say in anything, but… but that’s your life now, isn’t it? Not being able to decide for yourself, having no freedom from outside of the confines of this cabin that you’ve been trapped in for… god, who knows how long.

Without wasting much time, you slide out of bed, stopping to give Bucky a smile and a kiss before you go into the bathroom. When you enter, you make sure to leave the door halfway open, another thing Bucky likes. He doesn’t like the idea of a barrier between you two, always needing easy access in case you somehow injure yourself, or he just needs some extra love and doesn’t want to waste time by fiddling with the doorknob.

Your movements are almost robotic as you take off your clothes, once again ignoring the ache between your thighs as you toss your clothes in the hamper. You try not to look at yourself in the mirror, you actually hate doing it. Because the person who looks back at you is supposed to be you. The person in your reflection is supposed to have life in her eyes, her face shouldn’t have a permanent frown etched onto it whenever she doesn’t have to plaster on a fake smile for Bucky.

Except… is it fake? It’s been so long since you’ve seen your friends and family, your loyal customers at the coffee shop you used to hate working at but now would give anything to go back to, you’d happily take the yelling from angry customers over their drinks being wrong than being held in the middle of the woods by a man who desperately needs intense therapy. He told you he used to go before you ‘moved’ in, as he likes to say, but now with you around he doesn’t feel the need to go. He has all of his happiness right in his home every day.

And it’s getting significantly harder to convince yourself that this isn’t what you want, you don’t want to be confined to this cabin and the garden surrounding it. It’s so fucking hard to forget that this isn’t the fairytale romance you had envisioned as a kid, but it’s also hard to remember your life before Bucky. Because he’s just so damn sweet and loving that it’s fucking with your mind, it makes you want to scream.

Bucky goes out and buys you flowers every Sunday, making sure to write a heartfelt message on the card attached to the bouquet by a ribbon. He built a huge library before you got here and let you pick the trinkets and books that would fill the shelves. He even bought gardening supplies after a few months when he realized you were getting too cooped up and gave you access to the space in the backyard.

You like to think that if you met under better circumstances then your relationship would be vastly different. It would be happy for both of you, not just one-sided. However… would it really be so bad to just give in? By now you know you’re never escaping, and you’re tired of being so despondent all the time, you’re tired of dreading another day with your captor.

You’re just tired. Of everything.

It takes effort to pull your gaze away from the mirror, but you eventually reach into the shower to turn the water on. When it’s warm enough, you step inside, letting the hot water cascade over your body and soothe the ache in your soul. And while standing under the stream your mind wanders back to your dream. You’ve been having these dreams more and more over the last few weeks. They don’t happen every night, and it’s not always the same scenario, but the overall theme of the dreams is just the same.

You’d bet you’ve been in this cabin for almost a year, judging by the change in weather reminiscent of when you were taken. And in that time, Bucky has made no sexual advancement towards you. His affection usually consists of kisses, cuddles, and gentle massages when he wants you to really relax. There might be a bit of groping when you’re in the shower together, but he’s done nothing more than that, and that confuses you even more. You figured at first that maybe he was just going to let you acclimate to this new environment before making his move, but he’s done no such thing. He’s been very clear in his pure intentions, has never made you feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.

But why? Isn’t your sole reason for being here to please him?

Once again, it confuses you, and when you move your head slightly some of the water splashes onto your face, knocking you out of your thoughts. Deciding you’ve dwelled enough, you grab your loofah and start washing your body, trying to ignore the ache in between your thighs as you give your legs a cursory wash. And as you continue through your shower, you can hear Bucky’s footsteps on the carpet in your bedroom.

You know that he’s a trained assassin, can sneak up on someone without them hearing anything, but Bucky’s told you he doesn’t want to scare you. He did once when you first got here. He didn’t have any intentions of spooking you, he just wanted to come up behind you and wrap his arms around you while you cooked. But you ended up nearly shrieking and almost spilling the sauce you were making, and Bucky felt so guilty that he didn’t touch you for two days until you convinced him that you weren’t scared of him, you were just surprised because you didn’t hear him coming. So now Bucky always makes sure to walk a little heavier to alert you of his presence.

“Angel?” His voice echoes through the bathroom as he enters, the door opening wider and allowing you to see Bucky’s hazy form from behind the glass shower door. “Are you okay?” Fuck, you’ve probably been in here too long if he’s already done with breakfast.

“Yes,” You say as you turn off the water. Upon stepping out of the shower, Bucky is there to wrap a towel around your shoulders to start drying you off. “Sorry, the hot water just felt nice.”

Bucky chuckles as he rubs the towel over your body, smiling at you the way he always does – that he can never really believe that you’re real.

“It’s okay, angel,” He says as he puts the towel in the hamper and turns to grab one of his shirts that he loves seeing you wear. “But I’m sure my excellent cooking will be enough reason to get out.” At that, he laughs again, and you do too, because his cooking isn’t all that great. He’s gotten much better over the last year, but it could still be better.

“It always is.”

“You’re lying and I know it.” Bucky laughs again and squints his eyes at you, giving you a teasing glare after he pulls the shirt over your head. And it makes you feel at least a little better knowing that he’s self-aware enough to know that.

“Okay, so maybe it isn’t the best food I’ve ever eaten,” You concede, holding onto Bucky’s shoulders to steady yourself as he dresses you in underwear and shorts. “But I’ll still eat anything you make because you made it.” And it kind of hurts to admit, but your sentiment isn’t a total lie. Bucky may be disturbed, but he truly puts all of his love into everything he does, and you can’t deny that he puts so much effort into making you comfortable.

Bucky’s still squatting when you say that, and he lets his hands rest on your hips while he looks up at you with nothing less than absolute adoration.

“And because you love me?” He asks, hopefully. He loves it when you say it, you’re pretty sure it’s his favorite three words he’s ever heard.

Combing your fingers through his hair, you scratch at his scalp a little and force your voice not to waver as you say, “And because I love you.”

The rest of the day goes by as it usually does; Bucky feeds you breakfast with you perched on his lap, giving you kisses in between bites and sighing wistfully every so often. Afterward, you make your way to the library and sit on the bench seat by the window, reading one of the many classics that fill the room for a couple of hours while Bucky goes out to run errands.

Although, if you’re being honest with yourself, you’re not really reading. Your eyes are skimming over the words but you’re not processing any of them. No, your mind is still focused on this morning and how real the dream felt, how a part of you that you try to ignore wants it to be real. You try to chalk it up to the fact that you haven’t been intimate with anyone in so long, but the fact that it’s Bucky you’re dreaming about makes you think that it might just be him that you want.

No. Stop it. He kidnapped you. You don’t want him.

As you’re about to give up on reading, you hear the door creak open wider. Looking up, you see Bucky standing in the doorway, shuffling nervously and fiddling with his fingers.

“Is everything okay, Bucky?” You close the book and set it aside, your eyebrows furrowing with worry as you walk towards him.

“I…” He trails off, briefly biting his lip before smiling wide, like a kid on Halloween that filled up his candy bag. “Just come with me.”

Bucky reaches out his hand, and you place yours in his. You’re confused, but go with him anyway. He leads you down the hallway to the spare room – you’re not sure why he included it when he built the cabin, but you’ve never asked why. When you get there, Bucky is practically vibrating with nervous excitement. He smiles at you one more time before opening the door and revealing the interior. And it’s full of cat trees and toys, and you’re momentarily confused as to why he has these before you spot a ball of white fur curled up on a mini hammock.

Immediately, you recognize it as a cat, clearly a baby considering how small it is. Bucky tugs you further into the room towards where the kitten is sleeping, stopping right in front of the hammock and moving behind you so he can wrap his arms around your waist.

“I found her a couple of days ago,” Bucky starts, and you can feel him smiling into your neck. “She was all the way out in the back of the property, shivering and dirty. She’s just so small and I knew I had to take her in before anything happened to her. I brought all the toys and cat trees in just now when you were in the library so you wouldn’t see it. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

And oh what a surprise it is. The kitten must hear Bucky talking because her eyes slowly blink open before landing on you, meowing softly and shifting in the hammock so she can lean her paws on the side and lift up in what you’re assuming is an attempt to get pets. You’re helpless but to pick her up and cuddle her close to your chest, your heart warming with affection when she nuzzles into you.

“What’s her name?” Your voice is soft because you don’t want to disturb her, and she meows again, almost like she’s thanking you for the consideration.

“I haven’t named her yet. I wanted you to.”

It takes no time at all for you to answer.

“Alpine.”

“Alpine?” Bucky sounds curious, and he kisses your temple as he moves to gently scratch behind her ears. “Why that name?”

“I don’t know,” You answer honestly. “She just looks like an Alpine.”

Bucky laughs from behind you, kissing your temple once more and nodding.

“Alpine it is.”

A few days later, you’re in Alpine’s dedicated room playing with her. She’s allowed to free roam throughout the house, but she prefers being in here – or, really, anywhere you are. She’s taken a liking to you, and you to her. She’s almost like a friend to you, someone you can turn to when you get too sad because you know she won’t judge you, she’ll give you kisses and cuddles and make you feel better within minutes. You’re currently lying on your stomach, giving Alpine head scratches and laughing softly when she nibbles at your fingers affectionately.

“What should I do, hm?” Your question is rhetorical, you know she can’t understand you, let alone respond. Still, you like talking to her as though she can. “These… dreams are getting worse. Well, not worse per se, just – more intense. And I don’t know what to do about them. He’s never pressured me into anything, even though I’m fairly certain he does want… that.”

Sighing, you roll over onto your back, letting Alpine crawl onto your stomach and make her way up to your chest so her nose is nearly pressed against yours. And when she meows, you can’t help but smile.

“I don’t know if I want to tell him about them though. I mean, am I even ready? I’ve been here for so long and I know I’m not leaving, and he says he loves me, so I’m pretty sure he won’t make me do anything I don’t want even if I do tell him.” Pausing, you sigh, holding Alpine close to your chest while you sit up.

“What do you think, Alp? Should I tell him?” She immediately meows and lifts up to give your chin a little lick, and you smile at her. “Okay, okay.”

It takes a moment to gather yourself, letting the truth sink in.

“I’ll tell him.”

Despite not having access to any calendars, you’re pretty sure today is your anniversary. Bucky, once again, let you sleep in a little bit longer, staying in bed with you and holding you close while you traded kisses. He cooked up a huge breakfast and placed a big bouquet of roses on your nightstand, even going so far as to massage your feet and calves while you ate. Part of you doesn’t want to ask, because then it would be real. Not only have you been here for a full year, but you’ve been missing for longer than that, and that truth still hurts.

Still, you take everything he does for you gracefully, thanking him for being so thoughtful and trying not believe yourself when you tell him that you’ve never been treated so lovingly. Well, it’s kind of true, despite the fact that you didn’t come here willingly. He really does treat you with care, and his consideration of your feelings – other than the negative ones towards him – is something you haven’t experienced before.

It’s around mid-day when Bucky gives you your first gift. Well, it’s technically a joint gift for you and Alpine – an oversized hoodie with a pouch in front big enough for the kitty to snuggle in so you can carry her around the house with you without actually using your hands. It’s actually extremely thoughtful, and you can’t help but laugh when you notice that the hood has little cat ears on them.

“Thank you, Bucky,” You say after he helps you put it on, smiling wide when he picks up Alpine and helps put her inside the pocket.

“Of course, angel,” He says, also smiling. Then, he grabs his phone, pointing it at you. “Now, let me get a picture of my girls.”

You adjust your position on the couch, sitting up further and making sure Alpine’s head is poking out. Last minute, you flip up your hood, making sure the ears are visible and chuckling when you hear the rapid click of the camera as Bucky takes multiple photos. After he’s done, he pockets his phone again, coming to sit next to you on the couch and wrap one arm around you while he pets Alpine’s head with his other hand.

Everything is quiet for a little bit, both of you loving on your cat. When she starts trying to get out, presumably ready to play, Bucky helps her out of the pocket, then helps you out of the hoodie.

“Bucky?” You’re not sure why, but now feels like the right time to ask. Even though your entire body feels like it’s on fire.

“Yes, baby?”

“Um…” Sighing, you look down at your hands as you fiddle with your fingers. “I was wondering, um…”

“What’s wrong?” Bucky shifts so he’s facing you, using one hand to lift your chin so you can look at him.

“Why haven’t we had sex yet?” Your question comes out so fast that you’re unsure if Bucky actually understood you, but you don’t want to repeat yourself so you just hold your breath as you await his answer.

“What do you mean” He genuinely sounds confused, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Well, I just assumed that I was here to… please you. I know you love me, so I guess I’m just confused as to why you haven’t tried to do anything.” You try to breathe evenly, even though your heart is beating so fast in anxiety that you feel like you might pass out. You don’t want to upset him, so you’re hoping he doesn’t take offense to your comment.

Bucky doesn’t answer for a couple of minutes, he just sighs and dips his head low, like he’s thinking over his words carefully. But when he does speak, it surprises you.

“Because you’re not ready. You’re right when you say that I love you, which means I’m going to respect your boundaries. I don’t want to force you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.”

Tears want to spring to your eyes, because at that moment you know you’re rightfully fucked. He’s just too perfect that you can’t wrap your head around this conversation. You’d never thought of it like that, that he’d want to make sure you’re comfortable with him before taking that next step. And now you know that you want to, you want to give yourself to him in that way. And, now it’s your turn to lift his head to look at you, then lace your fingers with his.

“And… what if I am ready?”

Immediately, Bucky’s eyes widen, and you think you can see a little bit of hope in his eyes. Despite your earlier nerves, you can feel in your soul that you are ready to take the leap, and you can’t help but give him a soft smile.

“Are you sure?” He asks, squeezing your hand in a loving gesture. “I don’t want you to do something just because you think I’m expecting it.”

“I know you’re not expecting anything,” You say, briefly biting your lip. “And I want to, I promise.”

Bucky sighs, then leans forward to press his lips to yours. It’s not an intense kiss, it’s a reassuring one, a kiss that lets you know he wants this too. You pull apart when your stomach starts rumbling, and you’re reminded that you haven’t eaten since this morning.

“Come on, baby, let’s make lunch.”

You’re slightly on edge for the rest of the day, awaiting the moment. Bucky hasn’t made a move yet, so you’re assuming it’s going to happen before you go to bed, and even though you’re nervous, you can’t deny that most of those nerves are from excitement.

And when the clock strikes seven, Bucky leads you out of Alpine’s room and to yours, smiling at you the entire time. Typically, Bucky likes you to be in bed by eight-thirty, but you’re assuming you’re going to be up a little later tonight which is why he wants to start early. As soon as he closes the bedroom door, you can feel your heart beat increasing, and Bucky comes up in front of you to cup your face in his hands.

“Are you positive you want this?” His eyes scan your face, looking for a hint of doubt. He finds none, because you aren’t doubting this. You’re sure you’re not going to regret this.

“I promise, Bucky.” The assuring comment comes out breathy, and your eyes travel down to his lips before looking back up into his. “I’m ready.”

Bucky hums, nodding a little before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. It slowly becomes more intense, your lips gliding against each other as your tongues start invading each others mouths. You don’t even notice when his hands land on your hips until they sneak up your shirt, causing you to squeak.

“Angel,” Bucky breathes out, removing his mouth from yours to glide down to your neck where he presses more insistent kisses, even nibbling on the skin until you’re sure you’ll have bruises. He slides his hands up to your waist, going up, up, and up until you’re prompted to lift your arms over your head so he can take off your shirt.

“Fuck you’re beautiful,” He growls as his eyes scan your torso, causing you to whimper and hold onto his shoulders while you press your body closer to his.

“Bucky, please.” You don’t really know what you’re asking for, but Bucky seems to know exactly what you need.

In response to your begging, he lifts you into his arms, carrying you bridal-style to the bed until he lays you down in the middle of it. When he pulls back, he props himself up on his left forearm so he can place his flesh hand on your sternum. Dragging his hand down to your shorts, he toys with the ties, then looks up at you with a questioning look in his eyes.

“Yes,” You say when you realize he’s waiting for permission. “Please take them off, Bucky.”

He groans again, dipping his head low for a minute before undoing the ties and shifting up onto his knees so he can use both of his hands to drag your shorts down your legs. Now you’re left in just your bra and underwear, and you’re tempted to cover your body. He’s seen you naked hundreds of times, but this feels different, and you’re sure it’s because of the more intimate setting.

“Don’t,” He says adamantly, not being mean but letting you know there’s no room for discussion. “Don’t hide your body from me, angel. You’re perfect.”

Tears want to spring to your eyes, and you forget all about why you were so nervous in the first place, you don’t even know why you’ve resisted his love all this time.

“Thank you, baby,” You whimper, bringing up your hand to wipe at your eyes to get rid of the tears. “I… I love you.” And, this time, you know you mean it. You mean it with everything you have.

“I love you too. So fucking much.” Bucky smiles at you, his eyes also watery. He dips down again to kiss you, shuddering when you tug at his shirt. He moves slowly, kissing you for a few long moments until he huffs out a laugh at your insistent tugging at his shirt. “Okay, okay.”

Lifting up onto his knees, he grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, smiling wider when he catches you practically drooling over his exposed chest. But then he freezes up, briefly glancing at his left shoulder. And, you realize now that this new intimate setting is probably getting to him too, and you know you need to get rid of those awful thoughts he has about himself.

“Buck,” You say softly, sitting up and placing your hands on his chest. Your right hand travels to his shoulder where his flesh meets metal, and you trace the scars delicately with the tips of your fingers. “Please don’t be ashamed of them. You may not like it, but the scars don’t matter to me. They’re a part of you, and I love all of you.” You can see the tears in Bucky’s eyes as you speak, his bottom lip wobbling a little as he tries not to cry.

“Are you -” Bucky stops himself, sniffles and clears his throat, then continues. “Are you sure? I mean, you’ve seen it before but…”

“But nothing.” Your voice isn’t harsh, but you let him know you don’t want him to argue. “I said I love you, all of you. Don’t you believe me?”

“Of course I do!” Bucky says hurriedly, placing both of his hands over yours and squeezing them close to his chest. “I-I know you do. I love you too.” He sighs, bringing up one of your hands to kiss your knuckles. Then, he gently pushes you back onto the bed, not breaking eye contact as he shuffles off the bed so he can take off his sweats and boxers.

When they’re finally off, Bucky crawls back onto the bed, stopping at your hips so he can toy with the band of your panties. You nod at him when he looks to you for consent, and he keeps looking at you as he drags them down your legs, only breaking your gaze so he can focus on maneuvering your feet out of them. It seems like he wants to get going, but then his eyes travel to your bra-covered chest and he switches gears. Knowing what he wants, you arch your back so he can undo the hook and then you lay back down so he can throw it off to the side.

And now, you’re both naked, Bucky hovering over you and looking at you through teary eyes. He places his flesh hand on your stomach, trailing his fingers up to your breast so he can tweak one of your nipples.

“Bucky, please.”

“Don’t worry, angel,” Bucky says softly, dipping down to kiss your lips before kissing down your neck and collarbone, then stopping at your other breast so he can nibble on it. “I’ve got you, I’ve always got you,” He whispers into your skin.

“I know.” His eyes flick up to yours at the confirmation, and he smirks a little to himself as he bites down on your nipple, causing you to whimper.

Despite your wiggling, he takes his time kissing over your chest, going down your stomach until he has to slide down the bed so he can come face-to-face with your pussy. You spread your legs of your own volition, and Bucky groans in appreciation, nuzzling his nose into your lower lips and breathing deeply.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” He nearly growls, shifting so he’s laying between your legs and placing his flesh hand on your thigh to keep you spread and using his metal hand to pull your other leg over his shoulder. “Is all this for me?” He asks, referring to the slick dripping out of your pussy.

“Yes, all for you.” You reach your hand down and card your fingers through his hair, prompting him to look up at you. “Only for you.”

Bucky swallows down his emotions, nodding at you one last time before diving in. He takes one more deep breath, nudging his nose along your folds, then using his flesh hand to spread them apart. You gasp when he drags his tongue from your quivering hole to your throbbing clit, and you’re hit with the overwhelming knowledge that you won’t last long. You haven’t been intimate with anyone – let alone had time for yourself – in so long, and Bucky seems to realize this when he pulls back just enough to mumble, “Cum whenever you need, baby. Give it to me.”

He continues, dipping his tongue into your soaking hole, thrusting it in and out a few times before going up to nibble and suck on your clit. You don’t even realize that you’re now a blubbering mess, whining and moaning and squirming in Bucky’s hold as you feel your release build. And, you’d be embarrassed with how fast you’re about to cum considering how not-long you’ve been at this if not for Bucky’s groans of appreciation. You’re unconsciously tugging at his hair too, pulling him closer, but then your hand tightens when he suddenly prods his forefinger at your hole.

Immediately, you tense up a little, because, despite how wet you are, you’re still really tight. And Bucky’s fingers are big, so it takes a bit of shushing and sweet kisses to your thighs for you to relax enough for him to fit his finger in, but only just until the second knuckle. He pauses, letting you adjust to the intrusion, which you’re grateful for. He wiggles it a little, sucking and kissing your clit until you relax enough for him to push his finger in all the way, then pull it out so he can push it in again.

He keeps at the tortuously slow pace, carefully opening you up until he can fit a second finger in your pussy. Your breaths are coming out faster, you’re almost panting at this point as he speeds up until he’s truly fingering you, really giving you what you need. And right when you feel like you’re about to explode with pleasure, Bucky wraps his lips around your clit, bites down softly, and then sucks as shoves in a third finger and stabs at that special spot deep within you.

“Bucky! Oh, fuck, yes!” Bucky will gloat later about how loud he made you scream just from his fingers and mouth, how you squirted all over his forearm and chin. He’d also admit that he nearly blew his own load at your taste, but he wanted to save his release for you.

It takes a few long moments to come down from your high, and when you do, you see Bucky up on his knees looking down at you while fisting his cock.

“Are you sure you want this? We can stop if it’s too much.” You know Bucky doesn’t want to stop, but you also know he gladly would if you asked him to, which is how you know you want to continue.

“No stopping allowed,” You breathe out, smiling at him a little when he chuckles. “Now, please get inside me or I’ll cry.”

“There’s no need to cry right now, baby,” He says, leaning over you to prop himself up on his right forearm and grab the base of his cock with his metal hand and guide it to your entrance. “But you will be crying by the end of the night.”

You surge up to kiss him, biting his bottom lip and grasping his shoulders to brace yourself. Bucky groans, and you lay back down so you can stare into each other’s eyes as he pushes in slowly. Again, he seems to understand that even though you’ve just cum harder than you can ever remember, you’re still a little tight – especially since he’s easily the biggest man you’ve ever been with.

It takes a couple of minutes until he’s buried fully inside you. You’re whimpering while he’s biting his lip, letting out little groans. Placing his metal hand on your thigh, he spreads you open further, though not too far as to hurt you. Carefully, he pulls back, letting you get used to the movements when he pushes back in.

And it goes like this for a bit, Bucky fucking you slowly until you start wiggling your hips and clutch his shoulders.

“Pl-Please, Bucky. I – Faster.” You know you sound pathetic, but you can’t find it in you to care, mostly because your mind has floated off into space as you soak in the immense pleasure.

Bucky listens to you, taking his time in picking up the pace until you’re sure you’re about to break. He keeps mumbling praises the whole time, telling you how you’re so fucking beautiful and thank you for trusting me and god, I love you so much.

Lifting up your left leg, he places it over his shoulder, and every so often he’ll force his hips flush with the backs of your thighs and grind his hips, the tip of his cock nudging at your sweet spot and causing you to moan loudly. And, he was right, because the longer it goes on the more tears you can feel pooling in your eyes until they start streaming down your face.

“Bu – Bucky,” You can’t help but whine, your breaths coming out uneven as you try to control your emotions.

“It’s okay, angel,” He says, just this side of condescending. His tone sends shivers down your spine, and you have to force your eyes from closing because you want to see Bucky’s face for this. “I know it’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“Y-Yes, fuck, you’re – Ah! You’re so big!” You can see through your hazy vision that he’s smirking, though you can tell he’s close to crying too. He’s always been emotionally open, always telling you how he’s feeling and encouraging you to share yours as well. Which is why you’re comfortable with being so vulnerable in front of him.

“Are you close?” He asks, his breathing speeding up as his hips do too. “Fuck, angel. Tell me you’re close.”

“I am!” You’re practically screaming at this point with every powerful thrust he gives you. To an outsider, it may look a little like he’s breaking you apart with his cock, but you know the truth. He’s putting you back together, making you whole in a way you’ve never been before. “Cum with me, please!”

Bucky groans and shudders, gritting his teeth when you dig your nails into his shoulders. Nodding, he adjusts his position so every thrust has his cock stabbing deep within you every time. And you place your hand on the side of his face, making sure he’s looking directly at you when you clench down purposefully, and he shouts at the same time you do, letting go at the same time.

You don’t know what happens after that, all you remember is having the most intense orgasm of your life and then suddenly you’re waking up cuddled into Bucky’s chest, the sky outside now dark as the moon sneaks up into the sky. Wiggling a little, you realize Bucky cleaned you up, but you can still feel the remnants of his cum inside you, and you relish in it.

“Bucky?” You mumble, rubbing at your eyes. “What time is it?”

“Just past ten,” He says softly, kissing the top of your head then lifting your chin so he can look into your eyes. “You don’t regret this, do you?” You can tell he’s nervous, that he really wants your answer to be no.

“I don’t.” You lean up to give him a lingering kiss, sighing into each other’s mouths before pulling away just enough to stare into his eyes as you say, “I’ll never regret being with you.”

And, finally, you mean it, because you realize now that this is the love you’ve always wished for. Bucky takes care of you in a way you both know no one else can, and you can only hope he knows that you can take care of him too. You’ll love him deeply, and you’ll give him the life he deserves.

temptation taglist: @mayreblogsstuff / @raging-panda / @wintrsoldrluvr / @myfavbuckyfics / @watchoutforyelener / @lauratang / @esotericgalaxy / @mayusenpai666 / @buckets-and-trees / @fandoms-writings

#let me know what yall think!!#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky #dark!bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barns #bucky barns imagine #stalker!bucky #bucky fic rec #my writing #my stuff

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revelboo · 2 days ago

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I love to check you blog every day when I get up and when I go to bed and it's funny that you posted the shockwave fic literally before I got into bed, just after I was thinking of whirl and shockwave while getting ready to sleep. 🥺 Can't wait to see more tfp shockwave around here

A bit of serendipity 😊

This one’s 18+ 💀 but not for fun reasons, rather dubious, horrific science on Shockwave’s part

Point of Extinction Pt 4

TFP Shockwave x Reader

• Even if you can’t see what’s going on in the lab from your opaque box, you can’t shut out the sound. A high pitched bleating that just gets sharper, more awful until you’re pressed into a corner of your box, knees drawn tight to your body and your palms pressed against your ears in an attempt to shut it out. When that soul wrenching sound abruptly ends after what feels like forever, you’re shaking uncontrollably and sick to your stomach.

• “Experiment fourteen. Failure,” Shockwave growls at the drone placidly hovering and recording. Every failure brings him closer, though. Step by step to creating a new home. A fail safe in case Cybertron can’t be revived, but progress is almost painfully slow. Terraforming organic life much more erratic than he’d like. Flicking the end of his cannon at the drone to end the recording and go charge, he turns back to his other experiment. “Come, Thirteen.” Leaning closer to find you huddled in a corner, trembling.

• Your head comes up at the sound of Shockwave’s voice, panic seizing you as he reaches into your cage, his servos wet with blood. “Don’t.” Shoving back tighter into your corner when he makes to pick you up. Terrified you’re next. That you’re about to suffer whatever it was he just did to some poor animal. Hoping it was an animal not a person making that sound. Freezing, Shockwave stares at you, that unreadable face dipping to look at his hand like he’d forgotten. Servos trembling slightly as he pulls away, disappearing from sight.

• Don’t. You can’t do this. Moving to cleanse his hand, for a moment his processor is tangled in the chaos of a memory that isn’t truly his. Hands on his arms, seizing him against his will. Dragging him… somewhere. The memory shreds when he tries to pull it close. Screaming. He remembers screaming when they took his optics. No, he only has one. He’s only ever had one. He’s not sure, though. Servos of his one hand shaking, he turns his attention to the cannon his other arm ends in. Sometimes he swears he can feel those nonexistent servos. They’re like the memories that aren’t his, but are. Wrong, hurtful things that snare him. Turning back to your cage, he leans closer bothered by the way you shake. “Thirteen.”

• He’s back and you shudder as he reaches for you again. His big hand is clean now, still wet, but you can’t make yourself go to him willingly. But you can’t make him angry either if your survival depends on being good. Being cooperative. “You’re not going to hurt me, right?” You ask, eyes burning as you stand and walk over to him. Putting yourself in his servos.

• Carefully curling his servos around you, he lifts you free. Something about how insubstantial and warm you feel in his grip skitters through him. Trusting him when you probably shouldn’t. He can’t even trust his own memories, how can you trust him? “No,” he says. Comforting your fear even though it’s illogical. It doesn’t, shouldn’t, matter, but it somehow does. You make a sharp sound, staring at fourteen and you start shaking harder.

• It was a deer. At least you think it was. Why he’d thought a deer should have that many, spidery legs or a skull that split open to house awkward looking mandibles is beyond you. It’s a half formed mess of flesh, fur, and metal. The bones partially warped with liquid metal and twisting out of its rib cage, viscera shiny and wet spilling out. Dry heaving, you press your face against his servos. Don’t want to see what he’s done. What he might do to you. “Why?” He hasn’t hurt you, so you’d convinced yourself that you were safe. But this? He’s not safe and definitely doesn’t actually care for you. He’s a monster.

• Rooted to the ground, he stares at the failed experiment. Something uneasy in the back of his processor whispering that he should have cleaned it up before retrieving you, but it hadn’t occurred to him that the sight would bother you. The way you’re shaking in his hand is clawing at him, twisting in his spark. A feeling he can almost remember, an emotion that he doesn’t have anything more than a dull echo of and can’t understand. Illogical even as he brings you closer to his chassis, turning so you can’t see the mess anymore and running a trembling servo along your arm. Needing to understand. To remember.

#transformers x reader #shockwave x reader #tfp shockwave

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ceaselesswatchersspecialboy · 2 days ago

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What happens when Ford eventually returns? I mean, Dipper and Mabel will have to get used to a whole ‘new’ Ford, and Bill is a chaos-god again, so meeting him in his real form will be interesting, will Bill just hang around?

To summarise: It isn’t great, for anybody.

In the case of Ford, it’s like he’s just woken up from sleep. In his mind, it’s like no time has passed at all, but instead 30 years has, and he has to come to terms with that. His paranoia is intense, and to make matters worse, he doesn’t just feel like a stranger in his own home, but a stranger in his own body. He honestly spends a lot of time around Stan, despite his lingering anger, as Stan is the only person who doesn’t look at him strangely, or make him feel like he’s the one who stole this body, that he’s the one who doesn’t belong. Stan’s familiar. He’s safe. Everything else is just… wrong.

He’s generally quite unsure around the twins, which is a mutual feeling.

Mabel wants him to feel welcome, she really does, but she’s struggling to cope with the feelings of confusion and betrayal, and though she does her best to put on a smile and get to know him, he always seems very far away. Meanwhile, Dipper thought he knew the Author for the longest time, but apparently, it was all a lie, and he’s hurt, they both are, but Dipper honestly handles it worse. He’s fixated enough on Bill’s pages in the journal to know he’s dangerous, that he did something bad to their real Grunkle Ford, and he’s relentless in finding out what.

It feels like walking on eggshells at all times. Their new Great Uncle Ford is jumpy, and he’s always looking at them like they’re going to attack him. He’s only ever really at ease when Stan is around. Speaking of Stan, he doesn’t blame his brother for being so on edge, nor is annoyed at Ford constantly trying to argue with Stan and prove Bill has manipulated him too, because to Ford, it’s the only possible explanation as to why Stan would protect him. And Stan gets that. Even now, he will never forget the anger he felt at seeing Ford’s body, how damaged it was, and how Bill laughed about it. But, unfortunately, he’s spent 30 years with Bill, 30 years Ford had taken from him, and that leaves everything painfully complicated.

Speaking of Bill, I haven’t decided exactly how he’s going to be present, either he’s completely back to hanging around the mindscape, or he’s latched onto Ford still somehow, either way, he hangs around.

I have a particular vision in mind of him entering the twins dreams sometimes, especially if they’re having a nightmare, and he and Mabel end up having a conversation one night.

I may make a full, coloured comic for it honestly, because it’s very clear in my mind, and Mabel asking Bill to lie to her for her own comfort… yeah.

(If anyone’s seen Buffy, it’s kind of based off the ‘Lie to me’ scene)

(One final note: I think DD&MD will still be the key to getting Ford to open up, but it’s something the whole family gets involved with, even Stan and Mabel, though they admit the game isn’t really for them, just to make him feel more comfortable around them, and break the tension a bit more. Dipper kind of figures out he likes it in the similar fashion of Ford seeing his die!)

#asks #gravity falls #gravity falls au #not who seems au #stanford pines #stanley pines #dipper pines #mason pines #mabel pines #bill cipher

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moonstruckme · 59 minutes ago

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Hellooooo my favorite catlover/writer

I got another pop up idea this morning (happens way too often)

But first of all ! Don’t wear yourself out ! You write a lot and it’s amazing ! But prioritize yourself first. Don’t let requests put a pression on you ❤️

I know how it feels

Anyways

I’m not a morning person like most of the population except SOCIOPATHS.

And I imagined what it would feel like having the emt!marauders watching you up since they have to go to work early. You know like kisses, shoulders massages, soothing words as they try to calm your rise and everything…

If you don’t like it that’s ok! Don’t write it.

Love you, rest well. (Drink water)

Thanks for your request babe! Hope you're resting well and drinking water too <3

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 654 words

You stir when you feel Remus shifting underneath you. He reaches over to shut off his alarm, hand coming back to rest over your head placatingly. The appeasement doesn’t last long; when he goes to move out from under you, you make a soft whining sound.

“Dove.” His voice is husky with sleep, but there’s fondness to it. It makes you want him to stay even more.

The mattress creaks at the other end of the bed as James gets up. Sirius grumbles, scooting closer to you and shoving his face into your neck in rebellion.

“Don’t let them take me,” he mumbles pitifully.

“Baby.” Remus sounds more exasperated and also more amused now that both you and Sirius are half atop him. You’re not sure which one of you he’s talking to, but it hardly matters. “Come on.” His lips touch down on your head. “You can sleep, but we have to get ready.”

The bathroom light turns on. Both you and Sirius moan tormentedly.

James’ laugh is too loud for the early hour; you’ll never understand how he wakes so quickly. “Need some help, love?”

“Please,” Remus replies.

Sirius makes a half-asleep sound of protest as he’s dragged away from you, James speaking to him in a low, amused voice.

“Alright,” Remus murmurs, kissing your head again, “my turn.”

He eases your head off of his chest, setting it gently on the pillow before getting out of bed. You mourn the warmth of his spot next to you.

James is ready the fastest, back to press kisses to your pouty lips and soothe his big hands over your shoulders. “Do you want me to make you something for breakfast, lovie? If you get up now I’ll whip you up a fancy coffee.”

“James,” Remus chides from the bathroom, “let her sleep.”

James sighs but bends to mush loving kisses into your neck, murmuring nonsense at you all the while.

“I know you don’t like the bathroom light on, but if you think about it, we’re the ones who have to endure it. Sirius is in there halfway to a temper tantrum because his hair won’t behave, and you’re here all warm and cozy in bed. You look terribly cute like this, do you know? It’s really cruel of you, it ought to be illegal, and if Sirius were awake enough to form a thought he’d agree with me.” His kisses turn ticklish, and James chuckles when you wriggle. “Really! I mean it, you don’t know how lucky you are getting to stay here in bed and looking so adorable. Remus is about to drive us to work, and Sirius is going to insist on laying down in the backseat and moaning about how much he misses you all the while, it’s terrible. I ought to take a picture of you to console him.”

“Don’t,” you mumble. You find one of James’ hands with your own, dragging it underneath your pillow for safekeeping.

James laughs again, and another chuckle joins him as Sirius comes out of the bathroom.

“What’re you doing to her, you relentless pest? At least one of us should be allowed to sleep.”

James makes a soft grunting sound as the bed dips. You don’t have to open your eyes to know Sirius has draped himself over his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“Don’t worry, gorgeous, I’ll get him away from you,” Sirius promises. “Jamie, I require one of your fancy coffees.”

“Me too,” says Remus from the bathroom.

James succumbs to the weight of peer pressure and goes, and a short while later the bathroom light shuts off. Remus crouches by the bed, kissing you softly.

“Sleep well,” he says, brushing some hair away from your face. “We’ll see you after our shift, dovey, okay?”

You mumble out a response, already falling asleep again in the returned darkness of the bedroom.

Remus’ thumb skims fondly over your cheek. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

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opalite-curiosities · 13 hours ago

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Tkatb theories-

A/n: I normally don't post my thoughts on things because I'm nervous but I couldn't help it. I really enjoyed the update and wanted to know if anyone was theorizing like I was 😅. Hope my slightly organized ranting is enjoyable.

Also slight spoilers for the update/rewrite

Crowe-

Marie antoinette

1.a- forms a scenario about the queen and the MC being friends while they write their essays

1.b- Light is absent from his eyes as he asks and listens to their answers

1.c- Emphasis on Tyrant

There is obviously more to this scenario than meets the eye. Automatically it seems like hes talking about his family, as Dyrel mentions he doesn’t seem to get along with his family. The only family that is mentioned (by Dyrel) is his mother. She is a highly successful business woman and it’s likely that Crowe lives with her on the other side of the city.

Given how he frames the scenario, it’s likely his mother was similar to the queen. In this case the role MC plays would actually be Crowe. Saying that the queen gave them gifts and invited them to parties. likely reflects what his childhood was like. Business parties with the higher class or lower class, along with his mother likely giving him anything. The second half of the scenario may take place in his later years. As a child he probably had an idolized image of his mum. Given her success and prowess, Crowe probably looked up to her in some way. However, that opens up the possibility for him seeing what she was or is really like.

This is where the second half of the scenario comes in where he asks the MC if they would believe the rumors or the queen. The answer matters a lot to him as it, without the MC’s knowledge, relates to his own personal experience. When picking the option of still trusting the queen, Crowe tears up. Despite quickly returning to his prior playful and light mood, it’s clear that the answer impacted him greatly. He also says that the MC is too trusting and is opening themselves up to potential danger. I feel like this is the option Crowe himself chose, to believe his mother. To trust in her and the version he knew as opposed to what he had heard. The danger he speaks of to the MC is probably the danger he found himself in.

Similar to how Geo’s family is involved in some way with the founders of the city, there's a possibility that Crowe’s mum was to and could be the reason for his deep hatred of the system. Her business may involve the city officials in some way and with the unrest within the city, it’s not a stretch to say the rumors about her were probably true. Crowe finding out about all of it probably made him begin to question his mother even if he so desperately wanted to believe her.

Eventually, they probably had a falling out. Whether Crowe started believing the rumors or saw what was happening for himself isn’t that important but it may change how severely his opinion changed. How old he was when this happened also no doubt played a role. The main thing is, he started seeing his mum in a different light, a more negative one. This is probably why he isn’t close with his family or at least his mother. It also could be a reason he and Geo are so close, as they both can relate to having family problems relating to the hierarchy.

At the end of day 2, when you choose to stay with the group, Crowe decides to leave after staying at the MC’s apartment to get out of the rain. As he’s leaving we get a photo of him almost glaring at his phone. He also says that she is back, possibly meaning his mother.

#the kid at the back vn #the kid at the back crowe #tkatb vn #tkatb theories

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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days ago

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I'm thinking about the AU where people don't recognize Killer as himself because he doesn't act how they expect and it got me thinking that, if he'd had teammates (just Cross, or also Dust and Horror, doesn't matter) they may also struggle to recognize him.

Like, think about it, there's no way in Hell he acted anywhere close to how he acts with Color for as long as he was still under Nightmare. He was in survival mode, constantly alert, dissociating most of the time. He probably acted like a whole other person. He probably dressed very differently too because I like to think that he started exploring self-expression through clothing once he finally got free.

I also don't think he'd tell them.

It would be interesting to see how they'd end up navigating being around each other with that kind of dynamic or if Killer would just straight up try to avoid them as much as possible...

Honestly, gang, this could be the case even in a typical canon adjacent bad sanses au. I highly doubt any of the rest of the gang will know killer as much as they think they do. It’s be rather easy for all of them to dehumanize and/or villianfy Killer in some shape or form.

Not only because he’s very likely spends most of his time in Stage 2, playing his roles and the game and fulfilling his duties and tasks as if he’s more a robot than something as real as the others view themselves to be underneath all that acting and masking and pretending to be comrades, i wouldn’t be surprised if Nightmare keeps him isolated from the others in any way that matters. Or more than that, Killer keeps himself isolated—even if not physically most of the time. Even if Nightmare’s not around to enforce anything.

So they may think they know Killer, they know he’s Nightmare’s—they know he’s not on their side, even as he performs his duties and does his job, even if that job requires attending to and taking care of them. But they wouldn’t even recognize him in Stage 1.

At most, all they know is that Killer acts strange sometimes—and the Boss doesn’t like it. Deals with it swiftly. Sometimes Killer goes missing for a few hours or days and returns back as if nothing ever happened.

They may think that sometimes Killer malfunctions and breaks, and because of his issues, they all pay the price for it. Maybe they’d even prefer when he’s in Stage 2, if Nightmare ever cracks down on the rest of the Gang because of Stage 1’s actions costing him negativity and hindering missions.

They wouldn’t recognize Killer when he’s alone and by himself in Stage 2 either—quieter and more reserved and more obviously and noticeably disengaged. Mostly because he’s never just relaxing whenever anyone else in nearby—even if it may look like it on the surface.

I doubt they’d recognize a Killer that was with them versus one that got away, or as they may see it, chose to leave. Color’s Killer actually seems to be alive.

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tinytinyblogs · 2 days ago

Text

At Your Lowest

In the darkness, he comes to bring light, and you are not alone.

This story was inspired by this quote image I found on Pinterest.

(1,7k words)

💬Thank you for sharing and for this request. I dedicate this story to you and everyone who needs it. To my amazing people out there, consider this a warm hug sent your way.

Stray Kids Masterlist

Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨

At your lowest, you realize how much you miss the warmth and comfort of those around you. The absence of their presence only amplifies the heaviness weighing on your heart, making everything seem unbearably difficult. Nothing feels right anymore, and it’s as if the world has fractured into a million pieces, leaving you feeling broken and lost. Sitting alone in the dim light of your bedroom, the shadows seem to close in around you. Tears cascade down your cheeks, falling uncontrollably despite your desperate attempts to hold them back. Sorrow has wrapped itself around you like an oppressive shroud, leaving you feeling isolated and trapped in your own thoughts. Everything around you is a chaotic mess, mirroring the turmoil inside your mind. Your thoughts race, a swirling storm of worries and regrets, and you struggle to find clarity. It feels impossible to think straight, each worry tugging at you like a relentless tide, pushing you further into despair. You don't even know where to begin to untangle the web of emotions that entrap you or how to find a way to stop the tears that keep flowing, each drop a reminder of your pain and loneliness.

At your lowest, you realize it’s not just about the sorrow; there’s a flicker of light cutting through the darkness, a glimmer of hope that arrives in the form of someone you deeply admire. You look up, and there he is—Chan—standing in the doorway. The moment your eyes meet, you can see the concern etched across his face, the way his brow furrows slightly as if he can sense the weight of your pain. It seems he must have been running, perhaps hurrying to your side after sensing that something was wrong. You’re not entirely sure how he knew you were crying or that you weren’t in the best state, but somehow, it doesn’t matter. This is Chan—always instinctively in tune with those around him, always there when you need him most. His presence fills the room, cutting through the heaviness that has engulfed you. As he steps closer, you can feel a warmth radiating from him, an unspoken reassurance that begins to mend the cracks in your heart, if only just a little. There’s something comforting about knowing he cares enough to rush over, and in that moment, the despair that weighed you down starts to lift ever so slightly.

At your lowest, you realize there’s still a flicker of hope shining through, taking form in the person who makes everything feel just a little bit brighter. Chan’s presence alone has the power to lift your spirits and offer solace in the midst of your despair. As he walks closer, the soft click of the door closing behind him seems to signal a shift in the atmosphere—a shift towards something warmer, something safe. He settles down in front of you, his movements gentle and deliberate, and you can see the concern etched across his features. With a tender touch, he uses his thumb to wipe away the tears that continue to fall, his eyes filled with an understanding that makes your heart ache in the best way possible. "Hey love," he says softly, his voice low and soothing, "you know how much I hate it when you cry." His words strike a chord within you, and despite the way they make you sob even louder, it’s not from anger or annoyance. It’s because, in this moment of vulnerability, you feel seen and cared for in a way that’s profoundly comforting. You can’t help but admit that his warmth and unwavering support bring a sense of love that you desperately need right now. “Don’t cry; I’m here for you,” he reassures you, his voice laced with sincerity.

At your lowest, you realize those simple words, words you never realized you needed, seem to wrap around your heart like a balm, soothing wounds you didn’t even know could be healed so easily. “Things are a mess, right?” Chan says softly, his voice a steady anchor in the turmoil swirling around you. His gaze is gentle but unwavering, as if he’s determined to carry some of your burden with you. “But it’s okay. Just you breathing here, right now—us, surviving in this sometimes cruel world—it already shows how strong we are. And that’s something to be proud of.” He reaches out, his hand tenderly brushing through your hair, the motion calm and grounding. The gentle, rhythmic touch seems to give you permission to release the flood of emotions bottled up inside. You feel the weight of your sadness, frustration, and exhaustion spilling over, but he doesn’t flinch. He simply stays there, letting you unburden yourself in the quiet safety of his presence. “We can’t control everything,” he continues, his voice as reassuring as a warm blanket on a cold night.

At your lowest, you realize you don’t have to be perfect or keep it together all the time. It’s okay to let yourself break down, to cry it all out when you need to. “It won’t all turn out exactly the way we want it to. But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. Everything’s going to be alright—just believe me on this.” There’s a conviction in his words that fills you with a sense of peace you hadn’t thought possible tonight. His calm confidence seeps into you, like a gentle reminder that perfection isn’t necessary, that life can be chaotic and painful, and yet somehow, it will still find a way to work itself out. He’s here, anchoring you to the present, reminding you that this moment—this breath, this heartbeat—is enough. The messiness of it all, the flaws and imperfections, don’t lessen your worth or your strength. And for the first time in a while, you feel a tiny glimmer of hope stirring within you, his words planting a seed of belief that things, somehow, will be okay. You lean your head against his shoulder, and he gently wraps an arm around you, his hand softly patting your back. Held in his warm embrace, you feel safe and secure, finding a quiet comfort in his arms.

At your lowest, you realize that you’re not alone—you never have been, and you never will be. There’s always someone out there who cares, who thinks of you, and who values you, even in the quiet moments when you feel unseen or forgotten. Whether they’re right by your side or miles away, they’re there, holding a place for you in their heart and hoping for your happiness. Someone who sees you, values you, and would be by your side through anything. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he says softly, his voice a steady and calming presence that fills the silence around you. “You’re strong and beautiful, just as you are. The way you’re unique, the way you bring your own light into the world… I wish you could see that in yourself, the way I do.” He pauses, letting his words sink in, his gaze sincere and unwavering. "I mean every word, and I hope someday you’ll believe it too." Each word he speaks feels like a gentle reminder, a lifeline pulling you out of your doubts and worries. In this moment, his voice and presence remind you that you are valued and loved exactly as you are, imperfections and all.

At your lowest, you realize that comparing yourself to others won’t ever bring you the peace you’re looking for. All you really need is to be yourself, to strive for a better version of your own life—not anyone else’s. Chan’s voice is gentle as he speaks, and his words feel like a quiet balm to your self-doubt. “To be honest, I’m so proud to know you,” he says softly, his arm still wrapped around you, grounding you with his steady presence. He gently pulls back just enough to look at you, his hand moving to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing a light, comforting line. His gaze is filled with warmth, love, and something else that makes your heart ache in the best way. “I always tell people how lucky I am,” he continues, a soft smile playing at his lips. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” His words are so genuine, filled with admiration, and they reach a part of you that’s longed to feel valued. Leaning in, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, grounding you in his presence. Without even realizing it, your sobs have quieted, the ache in your heart softened by the simple yet powerful truth of his words.

At your lowest, you realize it’s okay to take a break; it’s perfectly fine to pause for a while and step back from the chaos of this hectic world. “Rest, darling,” he murmurs softly, his voice gentle and reassuring. “You need it.” His words settle around you like a soft embrace, quieting the restless thoughts in your mind. “I’ll be here,” he continues, his gaze steady and filled with warmth, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always love you, because you deserve love and happiness.” There’s a certainty in his voice that reaches deep into your heart, filling spaces you didn’t even realize were empty. He pauses for a moment, letting his words sink in before continuing, “And I’ll be here to protect you from whatever darkness might come. So don’t give up, darling. You have to keep going.” In his presence, you feel a renewed strength, a gentle reminder that it’s okay to rest, to let go of the pressure you’ve been carrying alone. You realize that giving up isn’t the answer, but resting? That’s allowed. He’s given you permission to pause, to breathe, to simply be without feeling the weight of the world pressing down on you.

“Keep going,” he whispers, his voice filled with an unwavering faith in you. “Find happiness, because you deserve to smile, to be truly happy.” His words settle over you like a lullaby, soothing your heart and quieting your mind. As he pulls you close, his arms warm and steady, you feel a sense of peace that you haven’t felt in so long. "I'll always be here for you, I promise." That night, you drift off to sleep in his embrace, his gentle humming a lullaby that calms your spirit. You fall asleep feeling safe, cherished, and ready to face whatever may come, knowing that with him by your side, you can take on the world one step at a time. He kisses your forehead, gently brushing away the sadness. "Shine brightly in your own fairytale, my love. I'll be here as your prince, lighting up the way for you."

You did great today.

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cyten0 · 3 days ago

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A Symphony in Crimson

Act 2: A Movement in White

Chapter 4-A

𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞𝄞

Entry ----- Date------

The recently named Starchild, Fa, has finally cleared the observation period, and fully stabilized. (Dad has been ecstatic over that name. Mom however, is mixed. She did everything to keep you from getting named that, yet here you all are.)

Regardless, since they're safe for periodic exits from containment, you’ve been able to take closer notes on their Craft energy, and took a trip to talk to the Empress. Cleared out a few more monsters around there. That virus might be well off in Fa, but it’s baseline form sure is annoying. Least the mountains cold climate makes them chill out. And since it’s based on Arcana energy, you’re immune!

One of these days you’ll figure out how the blinding universe that dimensional portal works and make your own, so you don’t have to trudge back up here any time you want a conversation longer then two sentences. But there’s a distinct lack of alien spaceships to use as reference, and you can’t afford to break this one, so for now it’s fine!

Still, Trip was worth it. After sharing your results, The Empress seems pleased. You assured her it was child’s play… She didn’t get the joke, but as a reward, she shared some more knowledge on how primordial beings like herself, Chaos, and Fa are created. So you’ll take it!

Since wishcraft is not a universal field of study, ambient craft that would normally be used by it tends to coagulate and eventually begins to take form into a primordial. Or maybe just act as a shell to enter this reality? Sort of? The wording was unclear, so you suspect there’s more to it. Given the way they bend reality itself, it could literally be all of the above and more! But the energy is a critical part of it, and affects their nature upon completion.

Given your own results, You suspect that Fa was formed, and subsequently ripped apart by, the excess wishcraft energy Astravia was pulling toward itself. Literally made manifest by the people’s faith, and then torn asunder by it. Never got the chance to fully form, left half dead in a crater.

It would explain why their original state resembled much of Astravian mythos. Their eyes are that of the Empress Arcana, the seared off stumps of their Phoenix wings, the dark body of the night sky, their heart glowing like the north star your royal family is named after. The virus overtook some of those physical details, but it’s still present. You wonder is it had some effect on their personality? Astravia is a fairly cruel country, but they’ve been nothing but friendly.

...Astravia doesn't deserve them. The strong lording their power over the weak, punishing any that dare step out of line. And the people will stand by and just let them BLINDING DO IT. Because they’re scared of retribution from your family. Scared of tyrants that aren’t there! No matter what how hard your family and you try and give them chances, this blinding nation never tries to be better!

You almost wish you hadn’t saved it. But then. Your family wouldn’t be around. Fa wouldn’t be around. So it doesn’t matter. You’ll get to go to Vaugarde again later, once everything has caught up. Meet with your old family again. See how this new world treated them.

Fa kind of reminds you of yourself, back in that world. Lost. Alone. Their only anchor being their family. But so often abandoned by everyone else. Only getting the chance to live by luck alone. You don’t want them to suffer that. You want to make it so they can be happy! Blind it, they deserve it! Not this cruelty! Not this hatred!!!

...It’s fine. You can fix this. You can make it work. There MUST be a solution. You don’t think you can fix the kingdom. Dad, Mom and the others have been struggling enough with that as is. More importantly, the people will never accept Fa as they are now. Not with that constant hazard they pose.

… Maybe that’s an angle? They’re literally the embodiment of the faith. If they could be fully restored, instead of kept alive, made into a full primordial instead of a halfway biohazard… Well you have faith that would work. Wishcraft is your specialty! I mean, it can’t be harder then turning back time or rewriting a country into existence?

You’ll keep this idea quiet for now. No need to worry them over it, let them focus on more traditional methods. Pass it off as research into Arcana restoration, as there’s plenty of overlap. Stars, maybe they can help each other! Ones stuck in reality, one’s stuck outside it! Wouldn’t that be a pleasant surprise!

Yes. There is ALWAYS a solution. And you can find this one!

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

As you enjoy your breakfast, you contemplate what you read. These references to an entirely different world have been a surprise to you. And a worrying one. From what little you can glean, apparently this isn’t the first time Astravia had a cataclysmic event occur to it! You have no idea what it was, but Siffrin apparently fixed it, somehow. People had theorized Timecraft could do some interesting things, but apparently Siffrin took it to a whole new level! Even more then Fantasia did.

...Speaking of Fantasia ...Literally born from faith. Was almost like Change or Expressions… No wonder Change took such interest in them. It’d be like watching a baby get kicked to the curb.

But one thing worries you. From what you gather, Astravia was a very unpleasant place to live for most. Brutal to a fault. If Fantasia was born from it… How did that affect them?

You remember how they acted that day in Dormont. Before they fought the king. How they changed to something cruel and callous on a dime. How they seemed scared after the fact. You remember Equinox, and how far they were willing to go to prove a point. How they nearly gouged out Bonnie’s eye for it….

Is there something under the surface they are hiding? Even now?

...Gems alive, you need to stop this.

You hate being scared of them. But you just can’t get those shattering worries out. You really hate that you’re right back to being suspicious of them, just because of a handful of details. Even if you know they would never willingly hurt you, you had partners in the day like that. Gems, YOU were like that...

But you also KNOW they’ve been hiding something. The others have been ignoring it, but you haven’t. How they sneak away every night, without fail. How when you fought a sadness day before yesterday, and they looked at you with this wild look in their eyes even after it was dead. How they put on a fake smile the second you or anyone looks at them. How they haven't sang a single song since Dormont.

Some of that could just be trauma, but the moment anyone notices, they pretend like nothing is happening. They are a terrible liar.

You wished for this shattering book so you could try and get some fears off your back. Figured being better informed would help. Make it so you’re more assured. Be ready for any troubles that might come up. Or at least give you SOMETHING to discard these theories! But it doesn’t! It hasn’t helped at all!

Hm. But you do know what MIGHT be useful. Or more accurately, who.

You turn towards Fa, enjoying their own breakfast nearby. They went hunting yesterday afternoon, but are enjoying Bonniface’s cooking none-the-less. Regardless, you should ask for a favor.

◆ “Fa, mind if I borrow that device a bit? I want to try out that ‘messaging’ they mentioned, and to see to see if the others have any advice on anything.”

✦ “Oh! um. Yes. Alright!”

Gems, this new Fantasia is a lot more shy then Siffrin was. Sure, the old Siffrin was quiet, but they had this air of confidence and lightheartedness that Fa simply does not. Fair enough, but still.

Fa hands you the device. You’ve seen them use it a bit before, so it’s not TOO hard to figure it out. Especially since your wish lets you read Astravian rather easily. You find the messaging software, and find an option called ‘Scale chat’, which you presume must be them.

It’s supposedly like sending a letter, yes? Best treat it as such.

◆ {Greetings. This is Odile. I’m messaging to look for any pertinent advice and knowledge about Fa, or Fantasia as they have chosen. They are, as one would expect, uninformed about themselves. And given they only revealed their actual nature a few days ago, we have little and less to go off of. In addition, they have been acting as ‘Siffrin’ the entire time we’ve known them, further complicating knowledge. Any information about them, physical or personality wise, would be recommended.}

There. You believe you’ve gotten the message across. You wonder when- hm?

♯ {Hi Odile! Wow, how the stars do you know Astravian?!

♫ {Oh Fantasia’s such a neat name!}

𝄢 {My father would be proud. Also, how much you know?}

Oh. So, this is far more quick then you were expecting. Hm. Well, that works out well.

◆ {Fa taught us the Favor tree ritual, and I wished to know more about them. Got a copy of Siffrin’s lab notes and the ability to comprehend Astravian.}

◆ {Aside from that, only that their diet consists primarily of sadnesses and wildlife, they can replicate entire organs (such as a stomach for normal food), and a rough idea of their capabilities.}

𝄢 {I presume that wish came with the ability to parse my brothers terrible handwriting. How far are you in those notes?}

◆ {Not very. I’ve only had it a handful of days, sadly.}

♫ {Well, I can help with the food stuff! I’ll make a list of everything I know!}

Bonnie will be pleased with that. You’d best let them know.

◆ “Bonnie, Letting you know, you actually might be able to help Fa with food. They’re prepping notes now.”

✿ “CRAB YEAH!!!! Oh! Ask them if they got some cool recipes, I wanna know all of them! Especially ones Tay likes!”

✦ “Tay?”

✿ “Yeah, Fan-Tay-za!”

◉ “Gasp! The first nickname!”

▲ “Oh, nice one!”

You chuckle, and nod at Bonnie, and relay their request.

♫ {Of course! I’ll get Ti to throw in a few as well!}

♪ {Nille wants to know more about Bonnie cooking.}

◆ {Yes, they are quite the skilled chef. Don’t worry, we make sure they are responsible with cookware, though we hardly need to.}

𝄡 {I look forwards to sharing knowledge. Returning to the main question. There’s not much I can think of on the psychological front. Especially that would stick after so long.}

Right. The one thing you are most worried about. You need SOMETHING.

◆ {Anything is appreciated.}

𝄢 {Hm. Have you reached the part about how they were created before we revived them?}

◆ {Yes, part of why I felt the need to ask. What kind of effects has that had?}

𝄢 {While for the most part they are a fairly normal person for their circumstances, they do have some additional psyche’s that have formed from Astravian culture.}

Perfect, exactly what you need!

𝄢 {Have you seen their horn light up a particular shade before?}

Ah. Right, yesterday morning, where they were in that oddly simple minded state… That’s… NOT what you were expecting.

◆ {Yes. Darkless. How the gems is that based on culture?}

♪ {Oh that must have been fun. Hope you gave them pets.}

♫ {It’s based on the more benevolent parts of the kingdom! The Loyalty of the people, the blessings of the stars, and so on! There are some additional cultural implications as well, but that would be an entire essay.}

♪ {Yes, some symbolisim to it. White was synonymous with the best of Astravia. It’s unfortunately fitting that Commonfolk were not allowed to wear white.}

Hm. Well that’s good to know at least. Also, you noticed you instantly understood White is the same as Darkless, but with an extra connotation? Worth remembering.

You also remember their outfits, with that bit of cultural context. Mi was mostly lightless or dark clothing, but you noticed Aurola and Regulus had pure white armor over dark clothing.Further, Song and Titania’s outfits were mostly White. As is Fa’s now that you think on it.

𝄡 {There are two more Psyche’s like that one, but you might not see them. Regardless, They are all still Fa, and they can enter or leave said mentalities fairly easy, if needed and prompted. But they might not be aware of them otherwise. Worth noting ahead of time.}

◆ {Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.}

♪ {Just in case, Keep an eye out for Black. That one can get messy. Not as bad as it seems at first, but certainty messy.}

Ominous. Black means lightless, right? Maybe that is what occurred back then? You’d best keep an eye out.

You wait for Mi to send that list, then hand it to Boniface, who starts memorizing it instantly.

✿ “Woah! Oh that’s so crabbing cool! I gotta try that!”

Bonnie starts grabbing their cookware and trying some stuff out. Including using some craft? How odd.

Well, with that all handled, it’s best to start resuming travel. You help the others start to pack up, so you all can get back to the road.

>>>

Your cart begins to close into the next town. Réfroir, if you remember its name right? A frankly beautiful town. Known for its crafted glass, you remember when you visited it last time that you’d gotten to see it during night. The way light refracts throughout the entire town, only a handful of lanterns are needed, barely any on a full moon. You hope to see it again tonight.

Fantasia is a bit nervous going into a town how they are. Mirabelle make a suggestion to use a hairband to pass off the horn as an accessory, to put them at ease. Fa does, however, change their eyes back to normal. You’d grown somewhat accustomed to their odd cat-like eyes, but it is nice to see they can do that.

After getting into town, you have Isabeau and Mirabelle see about finding you all a place to stay, taking Bonnie with them, while you and Fantasia see about getting the cart and Bayard taken care of. You find a place willing to hold your cart, and when you meet up with Fa, they are followed by… by...

A wolf. An unusual. Dark furred. Wolf.

◆ “...I have a few questions.”

✦ “Bayard didn’t want to stay in the stables, and asked if I could do something. I’d hunted some wolves earlier so…”

◆ “You changed a horse into a wolf?”

✦ “I had a few options, but they wanted wolf. Was curious how it felt.”

...Absolutely astounding. The surprises simply never cease.

◆ “The horse learned he could shapeshift and instantly indulged?...How Vaugardian of them.”

Si- Fantasia lets out a chuckle at that. The wolf lets out a light bark. They do seem to be enjoying the body, at least. They’re running around quite a bit, sidestepping, circling, jumping. Very excitable.

✦ “Yeah, wolves are really agile aren’t they?… Well they don’t have as much endurance, so it’s overall fair… Oh Bonnie would love that! Absolutely!”

Well, you suppose that is a nice bonus? Get to show Bayard the sights. They can even stay at the inn with you all, though they are still rather big. Wolf, not dog, after all. You scratch behind the ears, which surprises them for a bit, before they lean into it.

✦ “Might take a bit to get used to the new instincts, but it means new sensations!”

Bayard lets out a pleased rumble. Well, best to head to the others!

>>>

The lodge you all got was rather nice. Mirabelle had to talk UP the price a good bit, as the person was planning to just give them the place for free, but you managed to pay mostly fair. You’ll likely have to do some odd jobs for cash like usual, but given the state of Vaugarde right now, there’s plenty to work with, even after the king.

Sadness hunting would work well, but Fantasia typically does that in towns. Quite a few about still, even if they’ve been slowly returning to normal levels. With winter coming in, distributing emergency supplies is probably useful. And some people are probably desperate, so the defenders might need some help.

Heh. Working with defenders, that one amuses you. Would be QUITE the change of pace from back in Ka Bue! Well, at least defenders don’t kill you for breaking the law. And it’s not like you have for a while. Not since…

You hold the gem hanging off the left side of your head. Couldn’t keep going, not after worrying your father so much.

▲ “What’s up M’dame?”

Ah, time to leave that train of thought.

◆ “Considering what we should do to gather funds while in town. Perhaps helping the local defenders?”

✦ “Can I come with?”

Hm? That’s a little unexpected.

◉ “Really? I would have thought you’d go for sadness hunting like usual?”

✦ “Just. Felt like a change of pace!”

More of that fake smile… Well, you certainly wouldn’t mind, and you can keep an eye out for any other behavioral changes.

◆ “I’m not opposed to company. Anyone else?”

✿ “I’ma help hand out supplies! I can cook some meals for people, and I wanna try some of these new cooking crafts Mi and Ti sent!”

▲ “I’ll go with you! Many hands make light work!”

Bayard barks, clearly eager about something. Si-Fantasia turns towards Bonnie and smiles.

✦ “Bayard has volunteered to be Bonnie's noble steed!”

✿ “Oh CRAB YEAH! Aw that’s so crabbing cool!”

Given the wolf’s excited response, they seem to think the same!

◉ “I think I’ll go sadness hunting then! It um. Would let me have some space. To think.”

◆ “Very well! Meet you all back here then.”

A plan in mind, you all set out.

As you head out the door, and towards the defender’s building, you swear you saw something, out of the corner of your eye?… Nevermind. You are sure it’s fine.

>>>>

The defenders gave you the task of patrolling the streets, double checking for any disruptions. They trust you to take care of it should anything happen, given the whole ‘saviors’ thing. Even the rumor you both are assisting them will help a lot in keeping trouble down.

Fantasia is just taking the day easy. There isn’t much to worry about, for the most part. Had to settle a disagreement or two, but a stern word was all it took. They caught one pickpocket, but let them off easy with a firm talking to and sending them over to Bonnie and Isa. No worrying tendencies from them.

However, one thing has been worrying you... You SWEAR you are being followed. Two people, showing up every now and then. Watching you specifically, before vanishing. They have weapons, and by their stance, skill to use them.

And they’re Ka Buan.

It’s been years. Your bounty should be out of the picture. So what is their interest in you?

You see one of them try and hide off in an alleyway up ahead. You need to address this NOW, before things get tricky and the others get involved. You wordlessly follow them in, Fantasia following behind you, somewhat confused.

You become equally confused, when they aren’t here. Gems. A Craft Mirage. It’s a trap.

㊊ “Well well well. Thought that would be harder.”

㊐ “Lost your touch with age, Madame Odile?”

Fa looks at the two, confused. But the moment the two men pull out their swords, it becomes very clear what’s happening.

◆ “You both are far from home. Mind telling me why you’re drawing blades on and old woman?”

㊐ “Lord Fuhai sends his regards. He’s paying handsomely for your head.”

Of course. That man would hold a grudge. Guess he finally got his council seat.

Fantasia puts themselves between them and you. You ready your book, craft beginning to sizzle in the palm of your hand.

✦ “Look, I’d rather we don’t fight. Don’t hurt my friend, and go away. You get one war-”

Fa barely has a moment before they are cut in half in a single swing, straight from their shoulder to the hip!! Gems!!

As Fa falls to the floor, the two step over their body, pointing their blades at you.

㊊ “Any last words?”

◆ “Go shatter yourself.”

You fire off a powerful blast of craft at their face, only to find they sidestepped, and-

!!!!!

GEMS!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!! You! They just- Your arm! One stroke, and they’ve cut off your arm, and then-

HNG! A... blade through your heart. Gems… it HURTS!! You can feel the stiff blade against your flesh, before it’s ripped out.

Warm blood starts to pour from the wounds, as the air fills with a metallic scent. You… You can’t think…. Loosing blood fast… You can feel yourself…. fading…

But then….

You… Feel… something shift…. And… you smell…. Sugar?

《《《

㊊ “Any las- what!?!”

You take a deep gasp of air, as you suddenly feel your body refill with life, unharmed, the phantom pain barely letting you breathe.

What. What just…

Timecraft?

But you… You remember what happened? So do the men too apparently! But. How did?-

Fa.

Gets up.

There is a wicked smile across their face. Uncannily wide and cheerful. Their eyes glow that visceral shade. The remainder of their body twists and tears like fabric under strain, ripping apart into nothing. And from under their skin emerges a cacophony of fangs, limbs and tendrils. A strange laugh fills the air.

And their horn. Has turned Black.

#isat #in stars and time #isat au #SymphonyInCrimson!au #The Monster makes a return.#And the fabric of time itself shudders in it's wake.

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