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flickeringart · 4 years ago

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Neptune in aspect with Mars

(Read my post about Sun and Moon aspecting Neptune and Mercury and Venus aspecting Neptune)

These planets aspecting each other makes for a curious connection, because in a sense, they represent opposing principles; Mars represents the personal drive and the ability to spring to action, the force that works to impose one’s independent will on the world – Neptune represents the inner urge for emotional unity and the religious/spiritual experience of being merged with the source of life. When these planets are in aspect in the natal chart, the personal ability to carry out one’s will is inextricably linked to redemptive longings. Simply put, Mars-Neptune individuals will put their energy into fulfilling the ego ideal, the perfection of potential that existed before the personality began to form. The personality cannot assert itself in a way that would crush the dream of perfection. Neptune is the dream of purity, the undifferentiated beauty of never having left the garden of Eden. Mars on the other hand is the agent of independence and self-motivated action – he has the purpose of fighting for the individual self which is antithetical to the Neptunian principle of surrender. While the Moon and Venus are quite social; the Moon represents nurturing and care-taking of needs, Venus represents the ability to be loving, affectionate and gracious; Mars is selfish and to a certain extent anti-social – most definitely anti-Eden and its eternal bliss. Subsequently, Neptune paired with Venus or the Moon is a little less of an obvious conflict than Neptune paired with Mars.

The conjunction of Neptune-Mars might cause considerable frustration and unconscious manipulation, because one cannot assert oneself, which is to declare separation, without feeling a deep sense of guilt and shame. It’s a little bit like the Bible story of Adam and Eve eating of the forbidden fruit and immediately becomes aware of sin. This is certainly not an easy phenomenon to deal with. The impulse to avoid accountability for one’s actions can be overwhelming, even if the consequences are perceived to be good. There can be a tremendously inflated sense of righteousness accompanying every move the individual takes because deep down there’s the feeling that one has committed a terrible trespass, that one will be unable to atone for. While the softer aspects, the trine and the sextile, more easily lend themselves to genuine selfless acts and natural inclination to fight on behalf of every bleeding heart and soul in the world through acts of sympathy and kindness, the conjunction usually brings more troubles. There can be an overwhelming feeling of having to do certain things because one cannot stand the idea of being separate from other people. One finds it easy to identify as the martyr or victim, unwilling to take radical responsibility for one’s actions – or if one does it’s in order to self-sacrifice. Often the individual will adopt any ideology that promotes the mass before the individual – often socialism or marxism fits the bill. Neptune is symbolic of undifferentiated reality, blurred edges and passive surrender. It’s not a planet that promotes autonomy and individuation. Not uncommonly, decisions and actions are referred to as byproducts of societal or larger-scale units that have little to do with the poor self. These individuals are usually profoundly dissatisfied with the ways of society because on some level they believe that individual autonomy and agency is a sin – and that the only way to redeem oneself and humanity is through some kind of chaotic dissolution of difference. This urge is seldom conscious, but it is there none the less. Vladimir Lenin had this conjunction and he wanted to revolutionize society to fit the marxist ideology, but really what this means is to overthrow the upper class – to punish those that seem to revel in the delights of Eden, to get rid of the internal shame of being excluded from paradise.

It seems like Neptune-Mars shows up in individuals with the capacity to move a crowd, perhaps most importantly, with the capacity to be the front figure and leader of the masses. Vladimir Lenin certainly affected the masses and so did Napoleon I with the same conjunction. Hassan II of Morocco, known to be one of the most severe rulers widely accused of authoritarian practices and abuses of civil rights had this conjunction as well. These examples are far removed from Neptune’s reputation for denoting empathy, soft-heartedness and sensitivity. However, it might be precisely because of the refusal to abandon the hope of the sweet sweet nectar of paradise that can only truly be accessed in a state of pre-birth if even then, that the outrage is so total. Most children scream when they are born, and this is probably the kind of terrible rage caused by separation that lingers in these people. The sign the conjunction falls in will certainly affect the expression the energies filter through – Lenin had the conjunction in Aries, Hassan had it in Leo and Napoleon had it in Virgo. Virgo is a much more analytical and practical sign than the prideful fire signs of Aries and Leo – consequently Napoleon is famous for his fine skill for method and strategy in war. On his Wikipedia page, it states that Napoleon had a hypnotic effect on people and could bend the strongest leaders to his will in one-on-one conversations. Hypnosis is a marked Neptunian phenomenon. What happens is that the person is able to gently infiltrate the other person’s will – which is quite extraordinary. If someone is receptive and open enough to suggestion, the opportunity and the invitation is there to mold the other through unconscious communion. Since there’s no obvious forcing taking place under hypnosis, the hypnotized person must cooperate on some level – yet it’s not a conscious cooperation which is why the whole phenomena of hypnosis is so unnerving. In general, people would like to think that they are in complete control of themselves, but it’s more of a fancy fantasy rather than an actual reality. We don’t know what we are receptive to and Neptune reminds us of this. He seeps through the most tightly shut doors.

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My own family is quite Neptune dominated and what often happens is that I feel subtly manipulated, yet the manipulation is never fully conscious on the part of the individuals so it becomes difficult to confront them. The times I have, they either take offense or seem genuinely perplexed. It is impossible to confront Neptune, because he works underneath the surface, below the threshold of consciousness. When confronted these types are deeply disturbed that they could’ve imposed something on someone – they either go into a introspective mood, become appalled or proclaim their love and sympathy in an attempt to restore union. My mother has Mars in the 12th house and although it’s not aspecting Neptune, Mars is placed in the house pertaining to this planet and she has Neptune in her 1st house. She never gets angry but people around her certainly do. She is eternally understanding of everyone else’s anger and has acceptance for it, yet she doesn’t respond to any of it on a personal level. She apologizes every time something upsets her. She is never aggressive, yet she does instill subtle guilt through little cues and hints every now and then because it is a sin to have a will that does not align with the crowd that one finds oneself in. Sometimes, when things aren’t the way she wants to see them she doesn’t see them. She presumes that on the most basic level, all people want the same thing, which is probably true on a “soul level”, but sometimes it doesn’t translate to everyday matters. People’s personalities contradict each other and this is no trivial matter – people can and do clash because of individual differences and it can be detrimental to one or all of the individuals involved. However, Neptune doesn’t like to see a clash as a clash – that would be to treat it as a definite fact, which would contradict the fluidity of oceanic union. The frustratingly passive statement “It’s everyone’s fault” or “It’s everyone’s responsibility” is the attempt to not deal with cause and effect while establishing the fact that some abstract common force is always at work. This is neither true nor false but this attitude conveniently keeps everyone “unified” and dependent upon each other.

Admittedly I went with the most gruesome examples when writing about the conjunction, but it goes without saying that not all people with this aspect is going to be a Lenin type – Ryan Gosling, Avril Lavinge and Timothé Chalamet all have this conjunction and they’re all quite popular entertainers in their own ways – they move the masses on some level. Ryan Gosling has a Pisces Rising so his chart ruler is Neptune which makes it particularly strong. He gives off that pure hearted watery eyed look that is extremely mesmerizing to the public – he portrays himself as sweet and compassionate, he seems to have a marked innocence and purity to his outward projected identity. Avril Lavinge has her Sun-Mercury in the 12th house squaring her Neptune-Mars conjunction in the 3rd. She has more of an edge to her personality with a lot of planets in Scorpio but she certainly comes off as a chaotic, intense and absent-minded creative which I would attribute more to Neptune. Her strong rebellious “I don’t care” statements through her music resonates with a lot of people, but so does her more sentimental songs. Timothe´ Chalamet has his Moon in Pisces sextile Mars-Mercury-Neptune and he is quite the stereotypical Neptunian boy – he looks delicate, introspective, dreamy and androgynous, more like an ethereal creature than an earth-bound human. With the conjunction in the 5th house there’s no wonder that he can act and express himself in a very fluid way. Acting and performing musically are the specialities of the Neptune, and if enough components in the chart support the endeavor one might just become famous. The trine and sextile aspect also lend themselves well to these kind of occupations. These people can effectively gain the sympathy of the public because people recognize something of themselves – something pure and unborn, a mutual feeling.

A good example of someone with the trine aspect between Neptune and Mars is Russel Brand. He is quite the Neptunian with an angular 10th house Neptune opposing his Sun and trining his Jupiter-Mars-Moon planets in Aries. Even though he certainly has the fire and energy of an Aries Mars that can sometimes be a bit too much for people he is not only fighting for himself he is fighting for all people. In many ways he’s embodying universal hope and rage. He is fiery but also very receptive and deeply concerned with not causing any damage or hurt despite his characteristic blunt and direct approach. He has a marked religious/spiritual inclination, which is usually the case with a strong Neptune in the chart. In his early years the longing for Eden was sought through drugs, alcohol and fame, while it has now shifted to a more healthy inner exploration and focus on being of service to people. The soft aspects between Neptune and Mars-Moon-Jupiter planets in his chart helps him to cope with the disturbing Sun-Neptune opposition. In recent interviews, he admits that he still feels the pull of fame and success, yet he knows that if he goes down that path he will lose himself (his Sun) and will ultimately end up disillusioned and dissatisfied. I have the trine in my own chart, and I float aimlessly through life with the notion that things will work out and my actions will come to me, because I can’t plan or control anything. I have learnt that I have to trust the way things unfold, because I have a clear sense that my forced actions won’t lead me anywhere except to frustration and a sense of isolation. The sextile aspect seems to function a little bit more as an asset and a skill for the person to use. Politicians like Hillary Clinton, Angela Merkel and Francois Hollande all have this aspect and they can effectively use their receptivity to the masses and people in general to inform their actions.

Now to the harder aspects. Britney Spears is a good example of the dilemmas created by the Neptune-Mars square. Her Neptune squares Mars in the 12th house, the house belonging to Neptune and Pisces. Because of mental instability in her twenties she was put under a conservatorship which is essentially the equivalent of giving up personal control of one’s personal matters in order for an outside source to manage them until one gains some foothold. Mars is one of the prime factors of personal ambition and autonomy, but when it’s in the 12th it is given up – it is essentially a slave to the undifferentiated realm and subjected all the forces of the unconscious. A 12th house Mars in itself doesn’t have to produce the mess that Britney found herself in, but with it squaring Neptune, Mars is going to get swamped, mislead, confused, manipulated and subtly coerced because of the need for fusion, into doing things that will pull her further away from independent action. Another good example is Kylie Jenner. She has Neptune in her 1st house squaring Mars on the MC. She is publicly known for being part of the Kardashian-Jenner family, but she’s also gained attention because she skillfully created her own brand Kylie Cosmetics and became very “successful” (as in earning a lot of money) due to her own independent action and initiative. However, Neptune is anti-independence – and curiously enough there’s always some dishonesty involved when Neptune makes any hard aspects in the chart. She was declared the youngest self-made billionaire by Forbes in 2019, but, she has later been accused of forging tax documents to appear to be a billionaire. Neptune simply can’t let her be all that her Mars wants to be – a successful business woman with a clean record. Self-sabotage is almost always the case, however minor with this aspect, because Neptune refuses Mars’ need to be potent in the world.

The opposition creates a different dynamic although the dilemma is similar to the square. The person can be called to completely abandon an independent will to take action in favor of the glamour and blissful archetypal experience, not unlike the example of Russel Brand and his indulgence in fame and crowd-pleasing at the expense of his sense of self. The difference between having Sun opposing Neptune and Mars opposing Neptune is that in the first instance one is prone to give up a sense of self in favor of Neptune’s waters, while in the second, one feels the urge to give up the ability to direct one’s own life in order to merge with life around oneself. The opposition usually lends itself to extremism because the two polarities, in this case Mars and Neptune, can’t coexist. Queen Elizabeth II has this aspect, Mars-Jupiter in the 1st opposing Neptune in the 7th. She is on the one hand seen as an archetypal figure, immortal and divine and blissfully kept out of the real world in order to serve as a symbol and a fairytale for people to feel spiritually connected to. She’s non-aggressive, forgiving and compassionate, transcendent of the fuss of the world yet overseeing it all with care. She is essentially functioning to satisfy the religious/spiritual instinct of the masses, although it’s certainly done at the expense of her own selfish wants and needs. Luckily for her, her Mars drive is quite global and collective in nature considering that it falls in Aquarius and is conjunct Jupiter – it keeps her objective and less personal in her martial assertion. However, I’m sure she struggles with the contradiction between her own will and her role as an immortal unreality that would seem to activate itself in the interaction with other people (Neptune in the 7th). Edward Snowden also has this opposition falling in the same houses. His Mars-Sun conjunction opposes Neptune, and he famously leaked information about mass surveillance programs to the press. Neptune has everything to do with leaks and the dissolution of boundaries. He’s both been called a hero a traitor – which perfectly fits with the contradiction that the opposition represents. He certainly made a personal sacrifice by revealing the things he did so he is perfectly shouldering the martyr cape. In any case he did what he did for the public with the concern of other people in mind (Neptune 7th house) he took a non-selfish stance for the sake of a higher ideal and ethical conviction. Both Queen Elizabeth and Edward Snowden are quite extreme in their Neptunian capacity and has taken on fates of mythic magnitude.

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irrelevantwriter · 5 years ago

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Feral

Pairing: Chief Jim Hopper x Female Reader/You

Rating: Explicit, NSFW

Warnings: Language, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids, touch starved Hopper (he just wants to be held), allusion to PTSD but not stated explicitly, Hopper going full beast mode (bc we deserve)

Word Count: 2K

Summary: Jim was trapped in the Upside Down. He made it out and back to you. But all that time away without you means it’s only a matter of time before he snaps.

A/N: I miss my thicc Chief and this is me finishing a fic I started last year to exercise my Hopper muse. I had the idea to have Jim trapped in the Upside Down after season 3, but we’ll see if that’s going to be true or not. As long is our boy is still alive, I don’t give a fuck. So, this idea was bred from one of a million convos @negansdirtygirl22 and I had about Hopper being a beast in the sack and was very much based on the scene in season one of him ransacking his own trailer. This went a little softer than I anticipated, but he’s still going HAM on that pussy so I don’t think you guys will mind. Enjoy and share with your friends! Feedback is that good shit.

*Masterlist in bio.

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Jim eyed you closely, barely able to contain himself as you drew the curtains in your bedroom. The lamp on your nightstand offered a subtle glow, but it was enough for him to appreciate what he’d been kept away from for so long. You were blanketed in one of his flannels, the long wool socks your wore stopping just below your knee. It was a sight he never thought he’d see again.

Being trapped in the Upside Down was shit. It was a terrifying place that he had yet to really even put into words since he’d been back. He felt like time had stood still and yet, he felt like he’d been away a hundred years. In reality, six months had passed. Every second there he was on alert, fighting for his life in some capacity. It was not unlike the time he spent in the war, although even then he had better chances of making it back than he did in that warped universe. It was a place that looked so much like home, and yet it was the farthest thing from it.

A tease for what could be.

Home.

He felt his heart stutter at the thought. He was finally back with his girls, a notion that had been so far away and intangible only a few short days ago. You’d been at his beck and call since he’d returned. You were by his side constantly, a byproduct of thinking the love of your life had died. You always seemed to be touching him in some form or fashion, the skin-to-skin contact a comfort to his touch starved body. He could see what the loss of him did to you…and he felt like he’d been punched in the gut because of it. You’d clearly taken his “death” hard and his sudden reappearance had everyone suffering from whiplash, you especially.

Jim grunted when you bent across the bed to turn down the covers. He caught the barest glimpse of your ass encased in white cotton, the visual making his libido soar. He’d been without your touch for six long months…it was starting to show.

“Jim?”

Your voice pulled him from his lustful thoughts, slamming him back into reality.

“What’d you say?” He asked as he scratched at his newly trimmed facial hair, eyes flicking from your face to your exposed legs.

“I asked if you were ready to go to bed?” You smiled warmly up at him. It was a smile that made his chest feel tight, in the best way possible.

“I, uh…” He found himself at a loss of words looking down at you, the glow of the lamp highlighting you in the most heavenly way.

“You okay?” You prompted with a slight laugh, but he could tell you were worried by his hesitance.

He reached for you, pulling you close. It was the first time since you’d both been reunited that the two of you had been so close without anyone else around. El had been stuck to him like glue and it’d taken a shit ton of convincing from Joyce to get her to sleep at the Beyers’ home for the weekend. Joyce had tried to delicately explain the need for “adult time” while both you and Jim had looked on with a mixture of gratefulness and embarrassment.

Jim was feeling especially grateful at the moment.

“Never better.” He replied lowly, encasing you in his embrace. You let yourself become surrounded by him, snuggling your face into his bare chest.

“God, I missed you…” You whispered against his skin, hands resting near his beating heart. That wasn’t the first time you’d expressed that sentiment. And he could hear the grief less and less each time you did.

He cradled your hips in his hands, positioning his mouth near your ear. “I missed you more.”

He felt the delicate touch of your lips on his chest and he pulled you closer. He didn’t bother trying to hide his aroused state. Instead, he let you lead…he let you dictate where this was going to go because he was a man already on the edge.

“Jim…” You moaned as you rubbed against him, feeling his need for you push back in kind. He dug his fingers into your hips, pulling the fabric of his shirt with it. Your hands were suddenly on his face, pulling him towards your desperate lips.

That was all it took.

Jim moaned at the taste of you, your essence cloaking him in a desire-fueled fog. His body warmed from the inside out, his nerves feeling like they were vibrating with pent up energy. His tongue dominated yours as you struggled to get closer than humanly possible to him. He ripped at your shirt, buttons flying. The garment was removed immediately, allowing bare chests to meet. Your hands tangled in his hair and he swore he felt you shiver when he ran his hand down your naked back.

“Bed.” You gasped against his lips.

Jim grunted in response, lifting you from the ground and forcing your legs to wrap around him. His mouth attached to your neck, sucking with wild abandon. He could feel the heat radiating from your core, the pull for him to get lost inside you. It was almost too much for him.

Moans and groans filled the room as he threw you on the bed, your back making contact with the soft blue sheets. Your legs opened instinctually and Jim admired the view, a view he’d missed deeply. He could see a darkened patch of moisture on the fabric of your panties, the evidence of your hunger for him making him delirious. He had the sudden urge to mount you, to own you once again after so much time apart.

He slid off his sweats, exposing himself to the electric air of the room. You closed your legs at the sight and shifted helplessly against the mattress, eager to create friction. He moved forward wordlessly and parted your legs. You allowed him to do as he pleased, letting him rip the cotton from your body like a barbarian. He growled at the sight of your glistening lips, already burying his fingers inside you.

“Fuck.” You cursed with your head thrown back. You squirmed against his hand, coaxing him further inside you. He panted as he watched you writhe against his touch, your back arched and your mouth parted in a portrait of ecstasy. You were soaking his fingers, your body more than ready for his entry. He was thankful for that because he didn’t think he had it in him to be gentle. It felt as if he’d reverted to some sort of primal beast while away and he had yet to make the switch back to reality. His only concerned was feeling you wrapped around him, painting your walls with his cum.

He pulled his fingers from you with an obnoxious slurp and coated himself with your spendings. You rubbed your legs together as he jacked himself off to you. Just the sight of you sprawled out and as desperate was enough to nearly send him catapulting into space.

He stopped himself before he got to that point, already seeing the tip of him leaking with precum. He pulled at your ankle, practically impaling you on his cock. He covered your body with his own, biting and sucking along your nude body with animalistic fervor. Your nails pierced his skin as you thrust your hips up, attempting to catch him in your folds.

“Goddamn,” He cursed as he squeezed your breasts in his large hands, pushing them together so that he could devour your peaked nipples. He moved along your curves, settling between your legs. The position felt like home as much as the cabin did. The warm clutches of your body was his true home; it was where he belonged.

He nipped at your ear and buried himself against your neck as he finally thrust up into you. You accepted him, though he could feel the tight stretching of your walls as you did. Your whole body tensed around him, sucking him further inside. His breaths got faster and more ragged, the struggle to retain some sort of control slipping by the second. The sensation was too much and not enough. He could practically feel your heartbeat pulse against his throbbing cock, your walls encouraging him to move. His forehead rested on yours, the both of you taking a moment to both savor and ease the satisfying tension.

Jim gave no thought to anything besides the feel of your body connecting with his. He began to move fast and deep, grunts and growls accompanying each thrust. He transformed from man to brute as he pounded into you. He could feel the barrier of your cervix, his cock hitting it in an intense rhythm. The bed moved with his actions, the headboard a soundtrack for your coupling.

“I can’t…” He rasped, hands going to your throat. “I can’t last. Fuck…”

Your nails dug into his back, your legs wrapping around him as he set a brutal pace. You didn’t hide the moans and whimpers that escaped your lips. He could hear every inhale and gasp as he fucked you with wild abandon.

“It’s okay…” You breathed out, chest rising and falling in rapid movements. The sound of his cock assaulting your pussy was obscene, the growing wetness between your bodies a signal that both of you were close.

He felt your hand wiggle between your bodies, your fingers rubbing feverishly at your clit. His hips only moved faster, clutching at that blissful force that threatened to take hold. Your back arched, sending your chest up and into his. He gripped at your thighs as you begged for more and pulled away in overwhelming desire. He followed your body, not letting you escape his wrath.

“I’m cumming, Jim…fuck.” You cried out, features contorted into a myriad of emotions. Your nails pierced his skin as your pussy clamped down and didn’t let go. His cock had no choice but to stay immobile as your walls spasmed with almost painful intensity.

“Fucking Christ, baby…” He cursed, trying not to succumb to your body but knowing the effort was fruitless.

You soaked him, the evidence now painting both him and the sheets below. Your body shook with aftershocks of pleasure, but he resumed his thrusting, his cock now sliding almost sloppily against you. His hands dug into the mattress as he watched your face go from lustful torture to peaceful serenity in a second. He’d missed your face, envisioned you there with him as he struggled to stay alive. Now that he was back with you, he never wanted to part from you again. If he had it his way, he’d be balls deep in you every day. You were his solace, his peace.

The thought of having you like this forever set him off and he came with a violent thrust and growl. He bit into your shoulder, but still not hard enough to break the skin. He used your body to accelerate his climax, pumping you with cum and sucking harshly into the flesh of your neck. You accepted it all, widening your legs in a silent demand for more. His muscles tensed and contorted in blind passion, his mind blissfully suspended in that moment. His fingers dug into you flesh, anchoring him to you as his entire being sailed into the clouds.

He collapsed onto you with a grunt, his chest heaving and skin sticky with sweat as he listened to your heartbeat beneath him. Your fingertips danced along his broad back, your legs tangling with his. He felt the biggest wave of exhaustion overtake him, his eyes barely able to remain open.

“I love you, baby girl.” He mumbled sleepily, your touches only adding to his lethargy. He shifted his hips slightly, his cock still very much connected to you. The unmistakable feeling of cum overflowing from your lips and soaking you both comforted him, his body in no hurry to separate.

“Love you too, baby…” You mirrored back, your voice soothing him into a nightmare-free slumber, a state of rest that he’d been chasing for six months but was never able to achieve.

The man was home.

#jim hopper #chief jim hopper #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper x you #chief jim hopper x reader #chief jim hopper x you #jim hopper fanfic #jim hopper fanfiction #chief jim hopper fanfic #chief jim hopper fanfiction

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lovelybunny08 · 5 years ago

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The Backroom

♡ Pairing- Yoongi X Reader

♡ Genre- Smut, doctor, fingering

♡Description- What happens when one of your fantasy comes true

♡ Again thank you @artofediting for editing all my story. Seriously love you I dont know what I will do without you.😭😭

♡ Word Count- 3,058

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Your job at the hospital is ER patient registration. It is rather straightforward occupation: register the patient when they come into the emergency room. Nothing more, nothing less. In most circumstances, it would be an easy job…but you’re not in most circumstances considering that the hospital you’re employed at is located downtown, only a few blocks away from a long strip of somewhat questionable bars and nightclubs. The daytime shifts were normally easygoing; the only complications being the odd day here and there where the ER would overflow with patients from minor ailments. Now, that was the daytime shift, but working the overnight shift (especially on weekends) was a different story. You can account for several times in which patients were so incredible intoxicated that you had to repeatedly remind them of their location followed by why they were there. Furthermore, attempting to register drunk patients into the ER was like talking to a toddler: a lot of babbling and no clear answers. Due to this, finishing your charts was next to impossible and the minutes dragged into eternity. You would do anything for a distraction…

…and wow, did your hospital always deliver.

The one piece of excitement to break up the registering monotony was the attending physician on call: Dr. Min. You never spoke a word to him, preferring to ogle him like every other female employee (and more often than not, the patients too). He was strikingly beautiful with slightly mussed blond hair and penetrating eyes softened by his gummy smile. He was physically astonishing, yes, but you also recognized that he was one of the only attendings that treated all the hospital employees equally. Although, there was one particular feature that plagued your mind most nights: his hands. The way his wide palms flooded into his long and firm fingers made arguing with the drunks worthwhile. Only God above knows how often you imagined those hands grasping your neck. As if to entertain your prayers, you have been blessed in that Dr. Min always works the overnight shifts for some unholy reason. At this point you’ve convinced yourself that that ethereal being is the only reason you continue working the overnight sift; otherwise you would have saved yourself countless hours of sleep and frustration.

Snapping out of your recollection, you shake your head a little and look at the clock in the ER as it strikes 10 a.m. Your back was already aching in the creaky chair with you share a love/hate relationship. You had begun your day shift at 6 a.m., only to take on the night shift as well when one of your co-workers begged you to change with them. Being the ever-so kind and honestly broke soul that you are, you take it without a lot of convincing. Your eyes wondered about the relatively empty waiting room as you calculated how you would spend the five hours between your dayshift and overnight shift. You settle upon going home to take a shower and hopefully a short nap. Before you started drooling over the thought of your bed, the irritating squeak of a soccer mom with her cleated-up son snatched your attention. You huff as you fall into your chair and pull up a new registration form. You plaster the most convincing smile you can as you address her, “Yes ma’am, can I have the patient’s name please?”

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You awake to the blaring of your alarm and nearly throw your phone against the wall. You rub the sleep out of your eyes as you attempt to come out of the coma of a nap you fell into. You dress yourself in black work pants and a nice white shirt, at work you were required to wear business attire. You stumble to the bathroom to make yourself look somewhat presentable. Drunk people were brutally honest, and you had gotten enough rude comments about your tired appearance in the past. You make yourself some coffee and grab an apple as you head off for your overnight shift.

You clock in at the hospital at 22: 30 sharp and begin to settle in at the desk to get your “day” started. After a few hours, you were surprised with how calm the shift had gone thus far. Granted, it was a weekday and people didn’t tend to drink and go as hard as they would on the weekends. You were currently taking a short break in the back room behind the desk when you hear a knock at the door. Your eyes flip to a computer on the counter expecting to see an alert for a patient needing to be registered. When no such notification appeared, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Another knock on the door drags your feet underneath you as you go to open the door. With widened eyes and a sucked in breath (can’t believe your body betrayed you), you greet the captivating gaze of Dr. Min. Realizing that you were just standing their gawking (good job being subtle), you address him.

“Oh-uh, hi, Dr. Min. Is there a patient I need to register?” You don’t fail to notice his deft fingers gripping a coffee cup in one hand. You mentally wipe your drool when he smiles at you and peers down at you.

“No, I just came here to bring you some coffee.” He responded, waiting for you to take the steaming black liquid.

You take the coffee with a grateful smile. You continue to stare at each other awkwardly until you realize that he’s waiting for you to let him into the room. In your haste, your slosh the scalding liquid on your hand as you pull the door open wider. You muffle a small yelp and watch curiously as he looks around the small space. The backroom was better described as a spacious closet with a couple chairs in the corner next to a counter in the back corner and a small bed lining a wall for the employees to rest when they have a break. The only other piece of furniture was a small cabinet next to the door where employees often kept little snacks and such. A computer which monitors patients waiting to be registered sits atop the small counter. There were no windows, only another door at the other end of the room which led to a small supply closet. You both make your way across the room and settle into the two chairs.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” His voice startled you when he interrupted the silence.

“Oh, well I’ve been working more of the morning shifts recently. I’m in charge of training new hires to do outpatient registration and insurance verification.” Gah, you sound lame.

“Then congratulations.” Dr. Min responded, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Thank you, Dr. Mi—"

“—Please call me Yoongi” he interrupted. Fuck, if you could only manage to stop staring at his hands long enough to come up with something decent to add to the conversation. You were pathetic honestly. Too distracted by a simple appendage that you had yourself…oh, but not like his. You felt yourself growing wet just from wandering how good and different his fingers would feel deep inside your p—

“—So I won’t be able to see that pretty face as often?” Interrupted again damn it.

You blush fiercely “Huh? Oh, uh, well-no. No, not really, only if they need me to work overtime, or I cover someone’s shift…” This time your eyes lock onto the way he runs his thumb across his lower lip, and you lick your own lips from pure instinct.

“So, let me ask you this…’ Yoongi starts, with a deeper drawl to his voice. “Why do you keep looking at my hands?” You choke slightly from two things. The first, being that he caught you. The second, to keep yourself from shouting that you are indeed staring because you’d like to try on his hand as a new necklace. You cover up best you can.

“I-uh, have always wondered if you play the piano because you have long fingers?” FUCK, you suck at this. I mean yes, that has been a passing thought, but there was no way he would buy that. He smirks at your flustered state.

“Hmmm, is that truly what you were wondering?” He says with knowing eyes. “The answer is easy then. I’ve played piano since I was young and have kept it up because it—relaxes—me.” He whispers the last words, giving you a pointed stare as he drags your chair closer to his. “Now, I’m no detective, but most people don’t blush and rub their thighs when they think of piano playing. Try again. Tell me what you’re actually thinking.” You can feel his thighs pressing against yours, but you can’t break his stare when your faces are mere inches apart. However, when you feel his hand (HIS HAND) make its journey across his thighs and onto your own, your eyes fly down to the point of contact. At your action, Yoongi moves both his palms onto your knees and slowly begins dragging them upwards. Licking his lips, he leans across until his breath on your ear sends chills down your spine.

“You can tell me, dear,” he drawls in a low, sexy voice.

At this, you stilled completely. What was even going on? Where was this coming from? Wait, what were you thinking?? The most eligible bachelor in the entire hospital was hitting on you and you’re questioning it? Within seconds, you come to the conclusion that while you may still wake up from this dream at any moment, you didn’t want to waste the opportunity. With a newfound courage, you lock eyes with Yoongi.

“I want you to choke me with your hands,” his grip on your thighs tighten, “and I want your fingers deep inside me.” You’re blushing fiercely, but your stare doesn’t waver. His lips turn up in a smirk at your juxtaposed reaction. The next few seconds turn into complete chaos.

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Yoongi growls.

Next thing you know, one of his hands are tangling into your hair as he pulls you in by your neck to crush your lips against his. You only take a second for shock before you’re kissing him back just as eagerly. The kiss was aggressive but controlled, passionate but dominant as well. You chucked internally because of c o u r s e that’s how he kisses. You soon feel his tongue skimming against your lips, demanding entrance. Without objection, a groan escapes you as his tongue overcomes you, eager to conquer its newfound territory. However, just as you placed one of your hands on his chest, he abruptly pulls away. He steps his way across the room reaching for the door. For a split second you panic, thinking that you had done something wrong that made him want to leave. Just when you’re about to call out to him, his fingers find the doorknob and turn the lock. He turns back around to be faced with your shiny swollen lips and confused expression. He leans back against the door and answers the silent question in your eyes.

“It’s safer to make sure that no one will be able to walk in on us. You wouldn’t want any eyes peering, now would you kitten?” His gives you a small smirk which is quickly replaced by his darkening gaze. “Now get on the bed.”

You’re pretty sure your heart stopped completely at the pet name, but the increasing need for his touch reminded you to follow his demand. You quickly make your way over to sit on the edge of the bed, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. Seemingly pleased with your eager obedience, he strolls to come stand over you. Grabbing your jaw with his hand, he forced you to look up at him. “Are you sure this is what you want, kitten?”

It was obvious he knew the effect that name had on you as he lets out a small chuckle when you start rubbing your thighs together, desperate for any relief. He immediately stops your feeble attempts by slotting his leg in between your thighs.

“I’ll help you, but I need a definite answer,” Yoongi glowered.

“Yes! Yes, gah please Yoongi,” you whine. You no longer care how desperate you sounded. You needed his hands on you. In response, he leans down to capture your lips with his, tongues intertwining immediately. He then begins to lean you backwards, crawling over you until your back is flat against the bed. With his thigh still between your legs and his mouth moving to suck on your neck, he takes the hand he’s not using for support and slowly begins to trail it until he’s gripping the bottom of your scrub top. He sucks harder at your neck as his hand moves its way back up your body, this time dragging your shirt along with it. Once he finally pulls the shirt off and over your head, he pulls farther away to take in the sight of you in your bra.

“Just beautiful,” Yoongi whispers.

While the small break did wonders for your ego, he returns to nibbling on your lips, your neck, your collarbone, anywhere he could bite onto. As soon as he unclasps and does away with your bra, He moves downward to pull a nipple into his mouth. You arch your back and let out a breathy moan as your hands fly to pull at the roots of his hair.

“Oh my god, please Yoongi. I-I need—” you gasp. He releases your nipple with a pop.

“Oh, does my kitten want more?” he responds with a sly grin.

He then descends again to work on your other breast as one of his heavenly hands travels down to undo the buttons of your pants. Without warning or help, he yanks down your pants and continues to drag them off until they are discarded somewhere on the floor. He sucks in a breath at the sight of your white lace panties.

“Fuck” he nearly moans.

He rises above you onto his knees to strip himself of his white coat and scrub top. Your eyes nearly roll into the back of your skull as you take in the sheer expanse of his flawless skin. Not allowing you much time to appraise him, he slides off your panties as those too join the abyss of discarded clothing. He groans when he sees the glistening on the inside of your thighs and can no longer hold control himself.

As he crawls back on top of you, he captures both of your wrists with one hand in a tight hold above your head. Sucking on your body, leaving small purple bruises as he whispers sweet words of praise. He once more sucks your tongue into his mouth and kisses you deeply before he descends once more, pushing himself backward down the bed as he pulls your legs apart. His hands massage the inside of your thighs for a few moments before you suddenly feel his lips wrap around your clit. You scream out as one of your hands fly from above your head to pull at his hair. He groans at the response and the vibrations only spur you on further. Moans and encouraging pleas fall from your lips as he continues to ravage you as if he will never have another chance. Before long, he slides two of his long fingers deep inside you, beginning a scissoring motion as he slides them in and out ruthlessly. Unsurprisingly, it only takes seconds before he finds that special spot and has your body arching off the bed and you begging for release.

“Yoongi, I’m sooo close" you moaned as your hand moves to dig your nails into his shoulder. He releases your clit and crawls upward, tongues clashing as he gives you a sloppy kiss; all while maintaining the merciless pace he had set with his fingers.

“Fuck, you look so good like this, falling apart on my fingers” Yoongi moaned, impossibly increasing the speed at which he pumped his fingers inside of you. He leans in close to your ear to whisper,

“C’mon kitten, cum for me. Cum all over these hands you love so much.”

His words send you over the edge and your vision goes white as you cum harder than you have in months. He coaxes you through your orgasm, softly kissing you and purring more words of encouragement. Once you began to twitch from oversensitivity, he pulls his fingers out of you only to bring them up to his lips and suck them clean. Both of you come crashing back to reality; however, when his beeper begins to go off. He lets out a huff as he pulls off of you and goes to retrieve the device from his coat. After checking the message, he begins to pick his scrubs off the floor and dress himself.

“One of my patients is suffering from tachycardia and the nurse wants me to make sure it’s nothing serious” he explains.

“Oh, I understand that. You’re a doctor, there’s always going to be someone who needs your help,” you flash him a cheesy grin in response to his eyeroll. After he finishes dressing, he gathers your clothes off the floor and hands them to you and he grips you and kisses you one more time. He pulls away after nibbling on your bottom lip and walks over to the door. He shoots you once last glance as he unlocks the door.

“Since you say that, you know I’d be more than willing to offer my services to—help—you anytime,” he winks, and before you could respond, he disappears back into the hallway, leaving you dumbfounded but satisfied. You felt like a proud scientist after their hypothesis is proved correct. His hands really were talented for more than just medical purposes. With that lasting thought, you throw your clothes on and return to the desk outside, acting as if you had merely taken a short nap. A short nap that left you with a stupid grin on your face and swollen lips. Yeah, you would definitely be requiring the services of the overnight attending from now on.

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darkmindsotome · 5 years ago

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Risque Rouge pt15

Tagging: @umbralaperture @otome-smut-queen @silver-fox-of-azuchi @tsundere-mitsuhide @jennacat84

General warnings for the whole fic: Angst, some fluff, Mental health issues, emotional things, trauma, blood, death and possible triggers. Please read responsibly.

Darkmindsotome Masterlist

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Chapter 15

As plans went this had been perfect. It was an accident that could have happened at any time and in any part of the city. He was lucky to already know exactly where he could find a coach without its driver, all he needed was the perfect moment. Everything was arranged and it would have been considered simple bad luck that someone should be fatally crushed under the sheer force of the runaway horse dragging its carriage. It would have worked, should have worked.

Latour looked at the failure of what should have been a gloriously devastating demise. His eyes burned with hatred as he watched the female interact with the two men from his hiding place.

“Curses!” He hissed as his fist pounded the wall of the building before, he spun on his heel snarling as he walked away.

---

This had to be an out of the frying pan into the fire moment. Evie watched the two men in a silent standoff feeling completely useless. It was true she had run and she was scared. Yes, Comte had been part of the reason for that but he hadn’t hurt her. She did wonder about his approach when they were at the café but not once in all the times, they had been together, was he anything less than pleasant and kind.

Evie was more than aware he had every right to be upset with her right now. Acting the way she had must have truly hurt him. She saw the pained look in his eyes when she reflexively slapped his hand away. There was more there though, he had a melancholy look that was complete forgiveness. It was as if he would accept anything no matter how much it hurt him as long as it was what she wished. It hurt.

While her chest constricted in the grip of a coiling serpent intent on crushing her the man blocking her spoke.

“What sneaky games are you trying to play with this girl? Are you not entertained enough?” There was a tangible threat from the man shielding her from Comte. He was speaking without formality which could have meant he didn’t care to be polite to a potential menace but the fact Comte called him by name must mean they knew each other.

“I am not playing games, sneaky or otherwise. Genevieve is my charge and in my care.” Comte was smiling that same smile he had on his face when talking to Arthur.

“Then why was she so terrified of you just now?” Napoleon moved slightly and Evie had visions of this entire situation going bad fast. She didn’t know if Comte was aware of the look on his own face or if it was a miscalculation on his part because right now it was more taunting than intimidating. For all the mistakes made so far, she didn’t wish to have one result in a fight in front of her. She broke free of the human barrier, with pain lancing up her leg and placed herself between the two men.

“Please stop.” She gave a quick glance to Comte over her shoulder before turning to Napoleon. “Thank you, Monsieur, you rescued me.”

To say Comte was stunned would have been a very accurate description right now. This woman really did seem to swing on a pendulum to the point where she was hard to predict. He thought he had scared her and she would not go anywhere near him so why was she standing as if to protect him now?

“I only did what anyone would do.” Napoleon seemed to be equally perplexed looking at the sudden change in the woman who was basically a trembling mess only minutes before. His green eyes looked behind her quizzically towards Comte who didn’t know what to say.

He had felt and still did feel terrible for how he handled everything back at the café. Hindsight has a way of making every situation seem like a bad move and he already was well aware even without the help of reflection that his approach was a terrible choice.

“No, you did more because you were the one to risk yourself on my foolishness.” Evie lowered her head the trembling in her body was still very likely to make a repeat appearance but right now she was determined to make sure nothing else happened. “What this man says is true. I am in his care, he is my sponsor. It was true I was careless and running but…”

“Evie.” Comte’s voice was quiet. His eyes fell on the back of her lowered head in awe.

She was hurt she had been scared and still suffering the aftermath of everything that had been said and done. He could feel it, he felt her swirling emotions as strongly as if they were his own, the pain in her taking grip on his own body. Still, she was trying to smooth over a situation that was nowhere near as drastic as she thought it was. A wry smile formed on his face and his expression softened as he watched her. She was stronger than she knew and so beautiful. Napoleon didn’t miss the subtle interaction and looked at the young woman in front of him as if he just remembered something.

“So, you are the Mademoiselle from the mansion?”

“You know me?” Evie looked up her emerald eyes finding his clear jade green ones.

There really was something about this man, it was different from Comte and also different when compared to the other soldier in the mansion. It was a quiet dominance that gave subliminal weight to anything he did, even standing still talking with him projected the idea you were talking to a born leader.

“Of you. Sebastian informed me of a new guest and said that they were a lady.” The air around Napoleon felt much friendlier as it seemed the misunderstanding from before had all but been forgotten. Evie looked back at Comte. He said he would tell the rest of the guests himself, not that she wanted to pry into why Sebastian had been the one to inform this man instead.

There was obviously a little tension between the two men, it wasn’t bad, but it was certainly one that came from a place of respect rather than blind trust. It was very hard to explain and she didn’t even understand how she could feel something so slight from people she had just met.

Uncle had always said she was very sensitive and observant but this was more, it was a feeling that she instinctively didn’t question. People talk about intuition but that had always seemed a little off to her. Even with a strong intuition it was easy to second guess and lose yourself. This was a profound sensation and it was strange because it felt a lot like being more than one person at once in her own body.

“Genevieve this is Napoleon, he is also a guest of mine.” Comte issued the late introduction after the conversation finally seemed to allow for it.

“Is there anyone in Paris who is not a guest of yours?” Evie’s question was out long before her good sense could talk her out of it. Her eyes went saucer round and she clamped her hand over her mouth. “Erm…”

By this point, Comte was used to her little outbursts. Whilst they still had a tendency to catch him off guard, he was inclined to look upon her fondly rather than feel the desire to chastise her. Besides judging by her reaction and the way she was currently looking she was giving herself a much harsher lecture than he could. While Comte and Evie were looking at each other a loud eruption of laughter burst forth from Napoleon.

“Pff -- Bwahaha!”

“I’m sorry.” Evie muttered her apology flinching when Comte placed a hand on her shoulder. Noticing her reaction, he retracted his hand. The brief touch of warmth he felt freezing over as he felt the penalty strike him as he feared it would if he hurt her. He tried to ignore the way that information sat like a steel weight in his chest. Convincing himself he should be content with simply watching her.

“No don’t be I – hahaha – I’m glad to see the shock didn’t do any damage to your body or conviction. Haha pardon. I like how honest you are.” Napoleon was struggling to stop himself from continuing his peel of laughter his shoulders were still shaking as he tried to stifle it and speak.

“If we are finished here, I think it would be best to return home.” Comte interjected which seemed to help Napoleon gather enough power to get his laughter under control.

“Home?” Evie asked curiously before taking an interest in the people around them. The gathering of onlookers was a little smaller but she was very aware that even if they had returned to their previous tasks they were still glancing in her direction.

Still, when Comte said home he meant the mansion and there was a feeling of chilling dread that filled her chest as she thought of that. Could she go back there and cheat what she feared most in her mind? Would she avoid being the source of someone else’s pain or would she fail and have another torment to add to her collection?

“Yes, we need to tend to that ankle of yours.” Comte drew a little closer, sensing of her rising anxiety.

He wanted to take her hand as he had always done but she recoiled at his touch and he did not wish to be an added source of her discomforts. He hoped that his words could be enough reassurance to her and she would choose to come back. He tried to ignore the selfish desire he had to be alone with her once more. He wanted to apologise properly and allow for dialogue to once more be open between them. He knew how detrimental the passage of time could be as it passed by removing the opportunity to speak freely. The only survivor of the situation being the air of extreme awkwardness that hung like a cloud.

“I don’t really…” Evie hesitated and winced again the pain in her ankle silencing her.

Napoleon hadn’t pushed for details and he was not stupid enough to get in the middle of a lover’s quarrel. He could see the concern in Comte’s eyes as he watched the young girl with black hair. He had seen similar looks in the eyes of men on the battlefield. It was a look of understanding your fate is in the hands of another and acceptance that their actions would define the world to come.

The woman was curious, it wasn’t that he was immune to her charms he felt them keenly drawing him in. It made him instinctively wish to help her. It was strange and he had felt something similar when he had experienced meeting Comte for the first time. He took a certain level of pride in being a good judge of character and he found her to be interesting, honest and trustworthy.

“I’ll join you as well as I was on my way back anyway.” Napoleon spoke up in response to the idea of returning. He had been on his way back anyway so it was of little concern to him if he travelled alone or with companionship. If his presence meant that the young lady should feel more settled than if she were to travel with only le Comte for company then he considered it his duty to do at least that much.

“Did you not ride into town?” Comte enquired feeling a deflated sensation taking hold of him.

“Not today.” Napoleon didn’t seem to care or notice the shadows crossing the amber eyes of the pure blood Count. He did, however, slip his arm around the waist of the injured girl. He did it in such a way that it was completely natural, a silent declaration of the fact this is where it should be. Evie could not find the words to protest and found her weight naturally leaning on the strong arm around her as Napoleon guided her towards the carriages.

Comte knew it was to support her and help her. He knew it was a purely platonic motion and there was nothing meaningful about it. Logically he knew all this and still a dark whisper in his mind had him questioning every small glance and muscle twitch between the two now walking in front of him.

“Well isn’t that splendid?”

---

“So, it failed.” Amos sat mulling over the ill-fated news as he watched the foam dissolve on the head of beer in his glass.

“Yes. There was interference and the female found protection at the most inconvenient time.” Latour had appeared like a tempest and was working his anger out on a bowl of nuts crushing the shells in his bare hands, placing their contents to the side. He didn’t really like nuts, he didn’t really enjoy any human food anymore. It was all ash in his mouth.

Blood was all he craved to slate his thirst and fill his belly. Alcohol provided a change in pace, whilst providing natural cover from the passing observer. Cigarettes helped keep him busy, it was a throwback to his time as a human. Watching the curling smoke from the lit shredded tobacco, how it filled his lungs. It helped him focus, it helped him think and it blocked out some of the atrocious scents of the cattle around him.

“Not by the Reo’s doing?” Amos asked watching the bowl of mixed nuts grow empty. He was a little pleased that his disciple had learnt to vent his anger in a way that drew less attention to him. He remembered how troublesome it had been in previous years during training when he had been forced to keep a tight leash on him or risk exposure.

“No, it was another. One from the mansion although they are not part of the familia.” Latour reached a particularly stubborn walnut and after squeezing it towards its obliteration he finally seemed to relax.

“Did they suspect foul play?” Amos drank the dregs of his pint and scooped up a handful of the freshly shelled nuts on the table.

“No, My Lord” Latour confirmed what was possibly the only saving grace of the misadventure. Failure was not an option Latour knew it would spell the end of everything for him. His master had no use for tools that could not fulfil a task.

“Good, then there is still a chance we can approach the matter again.” Amos smiled the lamplight caught the very tip of his exposed fangs before he expertly moved his head playing it off as a trick of the light for anyone who might have seen it.

“What would you have me do?”

---

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dokuhebi · 5 years ago

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Anonymous said: What kind of partners does Lord Orochimaru like? Do they like dominant or submissive men/women? And in the bedroom? Do they like someone who takes initiative or do they prefer to be the one taking initiative themselves? Is there any thing that would make them instantly reject someone and what do they look for more looks or personality.

Impromptu Ask // Definitely personality over physical appearance, the behaviour, mind set and nature of a person is what will first draw Orochimaru in, and will be the main factor in keeping them around. They don’t need someone like minded, in fact, they don’t do the best with someone too similar to them. They like to be forced to think, they like someone who can teach them things, show them new facets of life, bring something different and unique in to their world. Someone who has all the same interests and attitudes would make a better friend than partner. That’s not to say they want someone who clashes with them on everything, they want to introduce their partner to their world as much as they want to be introduced to their partners. The person doesn’t need to be particularly intelligent, quick witted or be the best in any social situation. Orochimaru is simply looking for someone interesting, someone who can keep them fascinated and curious. Someone intriguing. Discovering all there is to the world after all, is what they have dedicated their life to, so someone bringing new perspectives, new ideas and new conversations will hold them for longer. Regarding potential partners, a meek personality or submissive/subservient nature will not hold Oro for long. Depending on what mood you catch them in, they may simply find the persons skittishness, timidness, or overly passive and conforming nature to be little more than a toy to investigate, most often however, they will simply lose interest immediately. There is no challenge with someone who is too willing to please, particularly in someone who does so in a demure way. Orochimaru is perfectly capable of running over more assertive people, when they are interacting with someone subservient in nature it simply becomes too quick for them to domineer the situation. They don’t want to impose themself on a partner, they want someone who can be their equal. But that doesn’t mean they are going to start playing nice as soon as they fancy or love someone, you have to earn being their equal. Their own nature is a bit more assertive, but less in a means to be in control of their partner, and more in a means to be completely in control of themself. They are a very independent person, anyone who wishes to engage in a relationship with them would have to accept this freer spirit. So while they prefer someone assertive and ‘dominant’ (if that is even the correct word), they also need someone who knows when to reign them in, and when to leave them be. I would say to the dominant/submissive question, a healthy in between. Someone who is assertive enough to match them and remain their equal, to provide a challenge, but not too rigidly assertive that Oro feels they are being treated as the meeker one. Overall, more dominant people work better than submissive, since it is easier for Oro to teach that person when to give someone else a turn at leading/taking control, than it is to constantly assist someone naturally demure to take the lead every so often. In terms of whether they like taking initiative or letting others do it, they are pretty equal with that as well. They won’t hesitate to engage first and to start the advance, but they are always very amused by human interactions, so there is a preference to seeing how others initiate. And that is to say, Oro would prompt or leave the door open for such an advance, and watch how the person handles the subtle invitation to then initiate. When it comes to sexual preferences, it is the same as mentioned above, they would do better with someone more assertive than someone who is more reserved/submissive. Again, they’re more assertive in nature, so someone who can match or top their challenge is going to appeal to them. In general a submissive person just does not work for Oro, nor do they manage to form attraction to someone who is more demure.

#蛇 OOC; breaking the fourth wall #蛇 HEADCANON; unraveling the serpent #anonymous #anon #/hidden content (nsfw)#/tw hidden content (nsfw)#I hope this answered the question~#I rambled heh #and it only half makes sense

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dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt · 5 years ago

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I’ve been thinking about Dante a lot recently so here’s some random Dante things (under the cut because it’s p long. don’t worry, they’re all SFW!!)

He has a nice singing voice. It’s one of those voices that is perfect in its imperfections, mostly only heard at night between friends, without any instruments to accompany it. He has sung both his boyfriends to sleep on numerous occasions (though Vrox will never admit it.)

He doesn’t mind drinking, but he’s very careful about how much. He only ever gets tipsy.

He has a routine and he gets edgy if it’s disrupted, even if he tries to hide how it affects him.

His hair is curly and soft when he lets it grow out (part of the reason he keeps it cropped is because it genuinely does make him look less intimidating and that’s bad in his line of work.)

He is very practical.

He can hellgate (it’s very hard for humanborn demons to learn), but it takes a lot out of him. In general he doesn’t enjoy hellgating.

He had a Hmong dog as a child, named Ho��ng. They did everything together.

Sometimes when Vrox is trapped in his hound form and Dante has a spare moment, Dante will go down to his cage and sit with him and read to him. Since Vrox can’t tell the difference like that anyway, he mostly reads Vietnamese stories to him. Jesse is still better at calming Vrox down (and hound-Vrox only associates Dante with Dante yeeting him bodily into a cage) but it does help a little, and it makes Dante feel better about the whole thing.

One of his closest friends is a hound called Amelia. She was close with Dante’s late partner Fain, and the two mourned together and grew very close. He trusts her enough to help him run the pack, since it’s impossible for him to do everything by himself (even tho he hates that he can’t.)

He’s extremely fluent in English but he misses Vietnam and his mother tongue so much occasionally he’ll hellgate back to his home country on his days off, just to be surrounded by it all again.

His skin is a dark olive tone.

He is a great listener and a reassuring presence. He also gives surprisingly good advice.

He typically sleeps on his back.

He’s a bit of a boomer when it comes to memes but he does his best and supports whatever crazy shit Jesse texts to him on the regular.

On top of his usual work load, he also teaches self defence classes on earth.

His biggest scar is the one across his left shoulder. He got it on one of his first days as the pack’s enforcer, he didn’t get an out of control hound into a cage fast enough and it mauled the shit out of his shoulder/collarbone/chest. It’s healed and faded now but it’s still noticeable.

Have I ever mentioned that his ears stick out a bit and it’s adorable???? yes??? what do you mean I’ve said it 500 times???

His favourite colours are green and pink, but his signature colour is dark grey.

When anything bad or stressful happens he stays very firm, calm and in control, but everybody how knows him knows to check on him afterwards, because he will not take a moment to think of himself otherwise. A lot of the time he doesn’t properly process what happened and that leads to trouble down the line.

In general he always puts others before himself.

He has thought about having kids before, but he knows it’s unrealistic, given how dangerous his life is and the fact that demons are infertile. He considers the pack his family instead.

He was 28 years old when he died, but he always looked mature for his age.

He’s 5′10. Vrox will not let him forget that he’s a few inches shorter than him, even if he’s still tall.

He cHUGS HIS RESPECTING WOMEN JUICE

He is very protective but knows his boundaries and is always happy to play a role of simple support to somebody instead of barging in and trying to fix their problems. He just always lets people know he’s there if they need him and to never hesitate to ask for help.

He knows every member of the pack by name, also every member’s history, temperament, struggles and growth.

He tries to be very mentally stable and kind but underneath that person he wants to be is a man who loves violence and doesn’t know how to live without it.

He only stopped participating in each and every war that rolled around because he was almost killed, June dragged him out of danger and had to risk their own life to save him, and gave their first real command as his superior to knock it the fuck off. So he threw himself into his work instead.

Despite being earthborn, he is extremely proficient with his hound form, able to change to it and back in under a second, which makes him devastating in combat. He is also far more in control of that side of himself than others, since he’s had a lot of practice keeping his more vicious side contained.

He has severe PTSD but over the decades he’s gotten very good at hiding it, and the signs of it are far more subtle than most people would know to look for. He does go to therapy on and off when things get particularly bad, more to stop himself from hurting or damaging his relationships with his loved ones than for his own health and safety.

He always tries to get both sides of a story and is a pretty good mediator, until he decides one side if definitely in the wrong.

Like other hellhounds/most demons, his eyes glow in the dark. It can be very unsettling.

His voice is deep, quiet, and even, and can be very expressive. When he gives a command, people don’t tend to ask questions, he has a kind of innate total confidant authority that he has absolutely earned.

((He’s kinda thicc like a bowl of oatmeal))

One time he literally threw somebody who wouldn’t stop misgendering Jesse out a window. Unfortunately it was on the first storey so the dude lived.

((Seriously he could throw you across a football field it’s gREAT))

He has violently and quickly murdered a few people. Just a few. A light smattering. A handful. A thimble’s worth of murder.

Yeah okay, he should probably be in prison at this point.

He has 4 of the exact same outfit and he rarely wears anything else. Just black tank tops for summer, a few grey shirts in the winter, and cargo pants. That’s it. Well, the pack did buy him a pink shirt for his birthday and he wears that a lot too.

He has a bomber jacket but he rarely gets to wear it because his boyfriends and Amelia shamelessly steal it all the time.

June also steals his shirts (half because it’s an act of dominance, half because his scent is comforting to them because they associate him with safety but they would rather die than admit that)

His real, full name is Giang Văn Diệu, Dante was a joking nickname given to him by Fain when he first came to Hell that just stuck.

People try to get him to react differently by calling him by his real name but he never reacts the way they expect him to and that has disappointed a lot of hounds over the years.

He sees through bullshit pretty well.

He can be absolutely hilarious when he tries to be.

On another one of his birthdays the pack collectively got him this mug:

and it’s his favourite material possession in the world.

He hates formal suits, so of course June crams him into one gleefully at every given opportunity.

He plays the guitar but he’s self-taught with only a few lessons from Fain, so he does everything wrong, but all in all it sounds okay.

He would die for any member of his pack without hesitation.

He’s an early bird and he doesn’t really know how to sleep in, but he still enjoys it when he can, even if it feels weird. (Yes he lowkey judges and doesn’t understand both his night owl boyfriends.)

He has almost died more times than he can count.

He is colourblind (I haven’t figured out which type yet tho) and he will laugh very, very drily at any dog jokes you throw at him for that.

He will never turn away a person in need (unless that person doesn’t deserve any help.)

He is surprisingly good at video games.

Yes he has carefully moved any new hellhounds that fell asleep from exhaustion into more comfortable positions and covered them over with blankets and gave them a gentle pat on their hair/shoulders.

He just likes taking care of people (in both ways those words entail lmao)

#I.................... love him #I could keep going for hours ughhhhhh #Dante #my OCs #:')

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thegeneralsnotebook · 5 years ago

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June Feature: Thoughts on New Dawn

Good evening, friends. This month’s Feature Article is going to be a little different from all of the other ones that I’ve made so far, in that rather than focusing on a particular topic, I’m instead going to be doing a roundup of some news about Set 12, or New Dawn as we’ve recently learned is its name. Over the course of this month, there’s been a lot of news from a multitude of different sources. There have of course been direct spoilers. There have been the disparate Q & A sessions CiM has performed after OnlineCons. And there have been a lot of indirect things to learn from watching the test games that have graciously been provided to us, as well as reading between the lines of putting all of this information together. This article will hopefully be a survey of all of that material, offering a unified look at where things stand with regard to New Dawn.

Roughly, this material is going to be broken down into three sections. First, we’ll go through each of the colours explaining the notable spoilers and notes we’ve seen for each one. This will not be an exhaustive list of every spoiler, just the ones that seem to be pointing in specific directions for the colours. Hopefully, we’ll be able to make some concrete statements about the directions that these colours seem to be going in for the new set. Second, we’ll say a few words about Unity, the new mechanic that we’ve so far been aware of, and that we now know quite a bit more about. Finally, we’ll go through which major questions are still unanswered regarding New Dawn. Anyway, all of that is probably going to take quite a few words, so let’s get to it.

State of the Set So Far

Indeed, Overt Operations seems like a good subtitle for CiM’s work these days.

Blue

Blue has two major narratives being spun for it so far. The first is the Core reincarnation of Hot Wings, which has seen a number of spoilers to support it. Of the final ones we’ve seen there is only the new Gallus (and he may not be so final after some on-air discussions in the most recent CiM stream), but among the unflavoured cards there’s a lot of great stuff. Most notable is the Blue/Pink Resource, which mingles the two things the deck wants to do very well, providing for the possibility of big swingy turns and lots of discounts. It’s a card that’s going to require significant thought to use correctly, but it’s also paired with the new Blue Dilemma and the Hasty-enabling Resource in Pink. Altogether that’s quite a few pieces that will work to bring back a deck that was once the terror of the meta.

The other archetype building itself in Blue is the slower, more control-oriented style typified by the new Mane, Tirek. Aside from Tirek himself, supporting here we have the [Frighten Feeder] as well as a powerful new card in [Shadowbolt Academy]. I get strong memories of Study Session looking at that card, and it certainly seems like a card that sometimes, if unanswered, will provide enough of a tempo boost to win games all on its own. Notably, as we saw in the test stream [Academy] isn’t limited to slower decks, and fits just as well in aggro, where it stands to provide a big benefit in “race”-type matches.

Overall, Blue looks to be going in a good direction, and that’s not even to consider the Blue/Orange cards, which I’ll leave to the Orange section.

Orange

There’s a little bit less to say here, as we haven’t seen a whole lot of Orange mono-colour cards yet, or at least none that really speak to an emerging archetype. There are, however, some very promising-looking things in the Orange/Blue space that were shown during the test stream. Both [Bland] and [Taskmaster] got great showings in the game that was shown, and highlighted a colour combination that will be throwing out +1 Power counters liberally, on top of two colours already known for efficiency. I think it’s a real shame that the two colours really haven’t seen widespread competitive play before, so if that happens this set, then I’d be happy with that.

Pink

Aside from the Hot Wings cards mentioned earlier, I haven’t seen a great deal of Pink cards that speak to anything new, aside from some standard value generators like [Berry Punch] that potentially speak to further development of Silverstream Midrange styles.

It is also important to note, though, that Chaos Control is one archetype that we know is likely to re-emerge in this set, as CiM has mentioned multiple times that key support for it like interaction with the bottom of your deck will be returning in New Dawn. In my mind it’s a virtual certainty that whatever such deck emerges will include Pink, as both Pinkie Sense and Salina Blue should be great assets to that style. Depending on what new Chaos effects we see, potentially expect the new [Tirek] Troublemaker to see play there as well. The ability to “proactively” start faceoffs is valuable in that kind of deck, and [Tirek] also allows cards with Chaos abilities to be fished out of the discard pile when needed.

Purple

The Q & A’s have promised us two kinds of Purple decks: Farm, and Troublemaker Aggro. There is definitely support for both that we’ve seen so far. The new Mane Cozy Glow answers the question of how exactly Troublemaker Aggro could work, and it looks like it could be pretty good, especially with Purple’s Starting Problem decreasing the risk of a slow start. (Harmony Aside: Imagine what the double YPS opening is going to feel like when they’re worth zero points. Yeesh.)

Cozy probably participates in the Farming side of the equation too, since of course what’s even better than scoring the Troublemaker’s bonus points is scoring both that and the Problem’s bonus on the same turn. And the other valuable Farming cards we’ve seen so far are just incredible. [Starlight] and [Sunburst] both encourage proactively starting faceoffs and can provide huge AT swings from doing so, we have more top-deck shenanigans from [Disappearing Act], and [Calculated] looks like a fine piece of control as well.

White

There haven’t been that many White cards spoiled so far, and unfortunately due to the colour’s spare competitive appearances in the past, it’s difficult to point to a past archetype that we can think about getting resurrected in this set. Naturally we do have a Mane, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. Chrysalis does look pretty good, and her together with Wink! seems to imply that White is shooting for a slower tax-oriented style. It remains to be seen exactly how that is going to manifest, though, as we’ll see in the Unanswered Questions section, there may be some more hope still for the colour coming soon.

Yellow

I think that we’re actually even more in the dark about Yellow than we are about White. So far there have been three Yellow cards spoiled, but none of them really evinces an idea about a direction that the colour is pursuing in this set. It’s fair to say that Yellow is likely not going to get too many great cards from New Dawn, as it likely is still the dominant meta colour going into the summer. Still, it’s unlikely to fade much, especially with the excellent Resources we’ve already seen the other colours getting. And it seems fair to say that Cozy Glow, as nearly all the Purple Manes before her have, will learn to fear Mage Meadowbrook soon enough.

New Mechanics

The rest of this cycle might be the most intriguing thing left to reveal.

The biggest new thing that we’re seeing in New Dawn is the support for mono-coloured decks. Now it’s true that outside of the Starting Problems there hasn’t been any explicit support for mono-coloured decks yet, but as we’ll see when we get to talking about Unity, that’s not quite true. The Starting Problems are naturally great as all decks will start with only one colour in play. Though notably they aren’t so good with flexible Manes like Student Six that might want to switch up which colour they’re starting with. Some of the Problems we’ve seen so far encourage the player strongly to stay all in one colour, like Purple’s, while the others are easier to deviate from, which makes sense given that they’re aggressively-oriented and so will presumably be replaced quickly.

Concerning Unity, we know now that there will be four distinct “levels” of Unity Power that decks can shoot for, as there will be triggered abilities at 5, 7, 10, and 15 Unity Power. These will manifest in four separate complete cycles, organized as follows:

A cycle of entry Friends with Unity 7

A cycle of other cards (like White’s Wink!) with Unity 7

A cycle of Friends with both Unity 5 and Unity 10 abilities

A cycle of Friends with Unity 15 abilities

Naturally, the scale and power of the abilities increases as the Unity number also goes up. I mentioned that the mono-colour support comes in here as well, as these numbers get pretty high. As we saw during the test stream, IvoryStarlight was playing mono-Blue, and even then it was a trick for him to hit the Unity 15 threshold. From this I reason that the 10 and 15 thresholds will be pretty much reserved for mono-colour decks. Surely multi-colour decks could have a chance of hitting 10, but the mono-colour decks will be able to hit them consistently. Thus, we’ll be able to say a lot about the potential viability of the mono-colour decks once we see their “ultimate” abilities in the form of the Unity 10 and Unity 15 abilities. This will be especially important for colours like Pink that are missing key things in their colour profile, and so will have a harder time justifying mono-colour otherwise.

Unanswered Questions

Just as subtle, I think.

With regard to the Q & A’s, naturally a good number of the questions posed there have now been answered, but a good number of them also have not. Of these, a few stand out as worth looking out for:

Promised access to the bottom of the deck (both ours and the opponents), important for our understanding of how Chaos Control will look

Promised Topdeck Matters cards in the style of Spell For That!

Promised Mill Cards

Potential White point acceleration -- The question was “Will White get aggressively-styled point acceleration?” and the answer was an unequivocal “Yes”. It’s possible that this was referring to Luster Dawn, but the direct nature of the answer suggests to me that this is referring to a card directly in White that will score points.

Potential Non-Purple AT advantage -- The question was “Are there any Non-Purple mono-coloured cards that can give an AT advantage?” and the answer was “Yes, kinda’”. It’s possible this is referring to the Blue Dilemma, or maybe even Chrysalis Mane.

A cryptic answer stating: “There is not currently an answer to the first Meadowbrook played.”

Promised further generic entry solutions, of three promised we have so far seen one, and of the two remaining one apparently uses a “completely novel mechanism”.

Another carefully worded statement, to the effect of: “There are technically three ways to, under certain situations, flip your opponent’s Mane back to its Start side.”

In addition to these from the Q & A’s, there are two other points that I’d like to draw attention to. First are the Manes. While we know that there will not be a Mane for every colour in New Dawn, I found it rather curious that this Sunday GP opened the stream by saying: “The Manes we’re going to feature today all share some features” rather than something like “The Manes in this set all share some features” If this was intentional, then it strongly implies the existence of more Manes, almost certainly a UR. Of course, it could also be CiM intentionally stoking speculation just like what I’m doing here. It’s worth pointing out that during the original Q & A, when asked if there would be a UR Mane, the reply was “No comment”. For my part, I’m thinking this means we’re looking at a UR Mane.

Now, that nicely leads into the second point I’d like to bring up, which is about the design of the set overall. We’ve got our three normal Manes now, which nicely encapsulate our three principal villains. But naturally the whole set isn’t going to be about Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis, especially not with the name “New Dawn”. So where are the heroes? We’d expect them to occupy a prominent place within the set so as to counteract the villains acting as the Manes, but that limits the options quite a bit.

Every set these days has four “fixtures” that function as thematic points of primacy. They’re card types that people expect to be in the set, and so function well to represent the set thematically. They are: Manes, Tri-corns, an Epic TM, and the group of URs, potentially including a UR Mane. In recent sets, the UR structure has been generally composed of 2 Tri-corns, 6 URs for the six colours, 1 “miscellaneous” UR, and 1 Epic, with some wiggle room for Manes or extras.

Of the principal set fixtures that we come to expect every set, we’ve now seen the Manes. Since the villains are occupying the normal Mane slots, there are now only a few places left for the heroes to go:

They could collectively form a UR Mane. Potentially interesting, but we also just had a big “collective” Mane last set with Student Six.

The Mane Six could be broken into two groups of three to form the two Tri-Corns. In this case, since we know the colours, we’d be looking at “Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle & Rarity” and “Applejack, Pinkie Pie & Fluttershy”. Also potentially interesting, but thematically I don’t really like the idea of breaking them up.

We could have a cycle of Mane Six URs. We already have one Purple UR in Luster Dawn, but this could be the miscellaneous UR for the set, leaving six slots still open. Though some of the Mane Six had URs in LL.

The Epic, I expect, will be the three villains together (which would explain the three points!), and so we’re not going to see our heroes here.

Overall, I’m not confident enough in any of this to make a guess, but who knows? What needs to be said though is our heroes now have to show up somewhere prominent. The question is where.

With that, I’m done for the month. Here’s to a great New Dawn.

#mlpccg #newdawn #set12 #speculation

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bitteraristocrat · 6 years ago

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Leisurely

“If I may be so bold, young Master, when I was your age, the relationship of master and servant was far more brittle and distant. I find this arrangement unusually comfortable, ho ho ho.”

No more than a fortnight prior had Ciel passively suggested an afternoon spent with the elderly house stewart, considering Tanaka often spent his time away from the chaos and boisterous events with which the manor was ridden with. Humbly, and with great honour, the servant accepted, and their proposal became fruitful later on an autumnal afternoon in the midst of an univolving week end for the noble of the two.

The elderly house stewart sat himself conspicuously beside his employer, as the new equinox danced about them. Hues of a spectrum, ruby to bronze, scattered at their feet and above their heads in the trees, whilst downy wool protected them from the ice of the air. In spite of the chill, London’s weather proved balmy for their tea, for which Tanaka had brewed a fine Sae Midori Gyokuro, specially chosen for his young Lord as it was sweeter than a traditional sencha, and recently harvested, bearing in mind the oncoming Autumn.

“As I said,” Ciel replied with a gentle smile, pausing to sip at his tea before returning the cup to the cushion of his begloved palm, “I reckon I could benefit from an afternoon devoid of stress, whilst equally indulging a change of pace. If I may be so bold in turn, you are far closer an acquaintance in war than a servant, old man.” Tanaka chortled again, and gave a subtle nod. A glimmer in his grey eyes told fond memories of the predecessor, although, he would not dare voice his reminiscence. The previous earl, too, often allowed nonchalant moments such as these, and Tanaka had no doubt that his current master inherited a mutual generosity. If nothing else, it was an excuse for the old gentleman to relish in his finest teas of the Orient.

Their time together was predominantly spent in silence, as Tanaka was wont to focus on the rustling of dried leaves, and Ciel calculated the taste and aroma of the tea. It was a socially incongruent moment, but no less enjoyed by the matter of impropriety. The older of the pair broke the silence with an overindulgent sigh, taking in both the decay and life of the autumnesque air. “Would you consider such a gathering with your other servants, sir? You need not answer if it offends you.”

The boy hesitated. The inquiry did not offend, but prompted him to ponder. It was not an unprecedented thought, nor was he repulsed by the idea. Cocking his head to the side, Ciel began his response with a scoff. “I wouldn’t mind it.”

And, thus, brings this narration to the chess game.

Incarnadine eyes bore into that of a vexed jewel of blue, and a board of black and white separated them. Having taken the old man’s suggestion to heart, Ciel proposed a game of chess to the head butler. Of course, given the circumstances of Sebastian’s kind, the young Master mandated certain rules of him for the sake of fairness; no telepathic nonsense or any advantage the demon might have over him due to the fact regarding his inhuman abilities.

“Your move, my Lord” Sebastian informed through a sigh, crossing his legs in almost a posh air. The sight of the two sitting in each other’s presence was twofold more disturbing than with the young Master and Tanaka.

“Knight to E5, to take your pawn,” Ciel muttered, thumbing the ivory piece before replacing the ebony pawn with it.

The devil wasted no time with his retort. “Bishop to E5, to take your Knight.”

His master leaned forward, enticed by his butler’s boldness. The Bishop was unarmed, to be slaughtered, as he deduced. Advancing, he picked up his Queen, taking note of the very few pieces left on the board. Fondling the white token, his gazed flit from one side of the board to the other. He decided on a defensive move. “Queen to B3.” Sebastian’s lips pulled to a taut frown. “How disappointing,” said the retainer. The begloved hand reached for the same piece and lifted it from the board. “Do you intend to leave her so defenseless and isolated? I will allow you a chance to change your motive, if you see fit.”

Ciel returned the tease with a sharp glare. “She isn’t as you say,” he reached for the piece and took it, “do you doubt my tactics?”

“Not in the slightest, sir,” Sebastian smiled, returning his attention to the black tokens which he commanded. “Although, it would be a pity if you lost your Queen by trying to play in a way that does not come natural to you. Knight to C5.”

“What are you on about?” The earl’s countenance contorted even darker as he digested the demon’s observation. He permitted the near defiance to simmer within him. It was unclear to Lord Phantomhive, master of board games and riddles alike, whether or not he could truly beat his inhuman opponent. Yet, with each move and puzzlement, they held each other’s gaze with a tender maliciousness. Calculated, albeit unnerving, their exchange and dance of glares and chess pieces was daunting for both parties, as if they now both feigned the role of predator, victory as their prey.

“You are an offensive player, as I have observed,” the butler continued, unembellished. “The occasional defensive strategy is undoubtedly necessary, but your intentions, here, bid a dubious omen; do I sense an irrational experimentation at play?”

“I thought I ordered you not to waste my time with your supernatural theatrics, Sebastian. If you intend to cheat by ‘sensing’ my motives, or some rubbish, I will find a better way to spend my afternoon.” Ingenuity took hold of Ciel’s demeanour as his hand reached to move the Queen. “Queen to B3, check.” The demon hardly flinched. Feignedly offended by his master’s accusations, Sebastian reclined in his chair to observe the board. His assessment ravished each unpigmented token that posed a threat; the Rook on B2, the Pawn on G7, and so on. A quietude gripped the air between them.

“Have you ever played chess with a human before?” Ciel cut the silence with his query, mimicking the languid stature of his counterpart as his spine pressed into the brocade upholstery. Sebastian replied with a slow nod and a modest shrug. “I have had the pleasure of doing so on the rare occasion. Although, none have been quite as engrossing as this. You spoil me, young Master. King to F7.”

“You flatter me,” the boy gave a halfhearted chuckle. “You spoke before that my tactics frequent a more offensive trend. Yours are the same. A quintessential cut-throat foray, yet your defense is the calculated bit. How very like a hungry predator.”

“Does it entice you?” Sebastian’s lips grew heavy.

“It is cliché. You play like a devil, just as I had anticipated.” A beringed hand pawed at the ebony King and swatted it over. The butler blinked, brows knitting at his child master’s blatant boredom. It was true, their wits were matched, with the devil lacking permission to dominate using otherworldly tactics.

“Well, if you see fit to end our game, I suppose I shall humbly accept victory,” the devil snaked his fingers through a myriad of pieces, disrupting their servitude, and began to rise to his feet. The boy scoffed, “Clearly you haven’t the slightest clue as to how this game works, nor the austerity of the point system regarding the won pieces. As it so happens, I have more points than you” Ciel rose to meet the demon, a glower and crooked grin captaining his hauteur.

“And, as it so happens,” he mimicked the little lord, “my ill-behaved master ended the game without much consent of his opponent,” the raven snarled, mirroring the wicked smirk.

“Perhaps if you hadn’t bored me,” Ciel’s prowling hands groped the chess set, pieces of monochrome scattering at his touch, “I would have allowed you at least a taste of victory.”

Sebastian took his master’s face in hand, clutching it with obsidian talons as he etched dimples into those milky cheeks. And as he snatched his prey, a growl emitted past his daggering maw, slaver pooling about his lips. In turn, the boy grunted and writhed beneath his counterpart. “What a cheeky little thing you are.”

The young Lord spat his fury with a thorny scowl;

So very like that day, you prey upon me now. Eyes akin to that of the beaded black marbles of a beast, only throbbing vermillion with slits of the abyss struck down the middle. They bug and twitch as you hang over me. Your breath pours onto my face, sticks to my hair and clings to my skin. It is hot and saturated, I find myself surprised that the slaver that pooled at the rim of your bottom lip did not spill out onto me. You vile, disgusting creature.

Whilst the devil held his prey and feasted on his gaze;

There you lay before me, so tauntingly, each fibre of me aching with the sheer hunger that is wired in my kind. Yet, you cause the network of my hunger webbed throughout this form to twist and alter out of my control. The very nexus of my being is unraveled simply at your musk. I am unlike those of my breed, entirely due to that wretched gaze of yours. Perhaps you think me far more human, but, rest assured, I all the more a devil when you fixate me with your rage.

A heated breath was shared before the pair withdrew. Strewn about the board, the chess pieces lay. With heady glances, they revelled in the mess they made.

|| A very rushed piece, but I was determined to finish it. Something of a guilty pleasure. ||

#ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #black butler #yana toboso #kuroshitsuji #writing #fanfiction #anime

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sunset-wishes-upon-hill · 7 years ago

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Even if they do want to follow, Aro would have them bind to the Volturi and Volterra. Jessica also knows her precarious status within the coven and in fact would encourage that they stay and don’t follow her (can you imagine having to deal with 3 vampires in a small town such as Forks and fearing every day that they might do something?). I don’t want to spoil too much but Aro being Aro, he’d be pretty sly about the manoeuvring whole thing to his advantage.

Yes, he might not show it but that boy is bursting with happiness seeing two people he loves getting along with each other. He is grateful and glad that Jessica sees through Jane’s true intention and he loves how she keeps on offering her hand of friendship to Jane because that’s the type of friend she needs. It’s easy for people to give up and leave a person who has chose to close themselves off and it’s one thing Alec admires about Jessica. Alec is not actually jealous rather his feelings deepens whenever Jessica tries hardest to befriend and treat Jane as she actually wants to be treated. And often, he wonders what would have become of them, of Jane, were someone like Jessica appeared in their life earlier.

Yes, you’re right it’s Angela (or as trio simply knows her as ‘the least annoying human who is unseeingly kind). It’s best they don’t know about Mike’s existence..

Hmmm, before I decided Jessica wasn’t going to have any gifts, I was torn between two powers:

Clairempathy- a form of extrasensory perception wherein a person is able to perceive the emotions, emotional imprints and emotional links from the past, present, future or locations not relative to the user.

Psychic Persuasion -This is the ability to psychically dominate subjects' thoughts and actions, via verbal commands. (Llike Kilgrave from Jessica Jones, just less potent and very subtle like Jasper’s).

I wanted to define Jessica’s gift based on her past experience and formed personality. From what I know, Jessica had to move to Forks as a young child and felt like an outsider. And often, these type of people develop keen sensitivity to picking up ques on people’s emotions and behaviours/learn to manoeuvre around the situation.

Hmm, for now (might change my mind and write up short story for both) rather than detailed insight, I think it would remain as brief segments that pop up here and there. I do have rough outlines on what Demetri and Caius was like:

I imagined, Demetri was the first born son and only child of a noble man who enjoyed the finest, beautiful things in life who loved hunting and fighting (i.e. duels with friends). I imagined as a vampire, he closely watched over his family even as Amun and him travelled to many places, and even visited his mother - whom he dearly loved - on her death bed. I think at first, if it weren’t for Amun, turn his whole family into a vampire so that they can be together and as time past, it gotten to the point where he could no longer bear watch people he loved grow old and die while he remained eternally beautiful.

With Caius, the third son from aristocratic family with two brothers before him. He excelled in every of his studies, particularly art and music which he very much loved but was forced to give up and forced by his parents to study philosophy when he showed too much talent in other of his studies than his brothers. His parents would not have a third son outshining his brothers. So lot of bitterness, insecurity and desire to be recognised because all his life, his existence were predestined by the title of being born a third son, an act that he had no control over. After all, how unjust and angry would you be if you were constrained from what you wanted to do in life because of birth order. I think becoming a vampire, he was truly able to break free of his family’s hold on him but at the same time, he will always keep pushing himself to grasp the next foothold of success all the while twisted by the manifestation of his unending dissatisfaction with himself and his position.

I bet Caius actually have group of humans working for him on top of vampire ones so what they would do is send over a written report to the secretary whom will print it out, file them and hand it to him. Humans are in charge of technology sector while vampires are saved for dangerous missions including other vampire matter.

Hmm, probably Heidi - who is more adept with modern technology - is most likely to be Jessica’s facebook friend/insta follower/twitter follower/snapchat follower so often she would randomly say ‘Did you know Jessica is at Seattle?’ but Caius will be getting reports on Jessica from his servants. But haha the imagination of Caius with phone suddenly taking a break from fighting with other vampires and ordering the guard to protect him because Jessica uploaded a cute photo of her with a her dog on Instagram and he have to double tap it.

Yes, she would have loved Jessica’s company. A bit different from the usual vampires and humans flocking for favour. Beside, Didyme would love how Jessica sees through her brother’s BS haha!

#pandora ask #ask #answered #volturi #character: alec #character: caius #character: demetri #character: jessica stanley #character: aro

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kidslovetoys · 5 years ago

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Self-efficacy: A tool to unlock your child’s potential

Have you ever said, "I'm rubbish at maths", or "I can't draw to save my life". These negative beliefs affect your ability to overcome challenges.

As Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right."

Psychologists call this self-efficacy.

In this guide, guest contributor Dr. Helen Jones shows us how to help our children escape the trap of this kind of limiting mindset.

Table of contents:

What is self-efficacy?

How does self-efficacy influence your child’s behaviour?

4 ways to build it

Be a self-efficacy role model

Final word

What is self-efficacy?

Self-efficacy can be defined as your beliefs in your specific abilities. Isn’t that the same as confidence you might ask?

Not quite.

From the outside they might seem similar, and it's true they may overlap. But whilst confidence is more generalised, self-efficacy is domain specific; it’s about beliefs in certain abilities... whether that’s how creative we are, how mathematical we are, how organised we are and so on. Beghetto (2006) explains:

“self -efficacy is a self-judgement of one’s specific capabilities that (...) influence activity choice; persistence; effort; and, ultimately, the attainment of a given outcome” (p. 448).

This self-narrative becomes woven into the fabric of our lives, often from the outset, in childhood, so much so that it can create a ‘fixed’ view of our strengths and skills and underpin our motivations, behaviour and choices.

But where do these beliefs stem from? How can we ensure our children do not develop a ‘weak’ self-efficacy, which could derail their confidence and potential?

Naturally, there are many factors which affect our children’s learning, choices, engagement and overall happiness everyday. Yet a key, but often overlooked, factor in their development can be self-efficacy - enabling these self-beliefs to be positive can have an overriding effect.

In my role as an art teacher I witness the daily effects of self-efficacy in the classroom. I can usually track back a child’s self-efficacy in their artistic ability to a conversation they had at a young age with a parent, carer or teacher.

“My dad said I can’t even draw a stick man properly so why should I bother”,

“I’m good at art; All my friends and family say so, so I’ve always tried to do lots of it outside lessons”.

Whilst I can see from my students the effects of their beliefs on their motivation, the same could be said in any subject, activity or discipline, not just art.

When you consider that on average children are estimated to receive 5 negative comments per positive comment, the potency of self-efficacy to boost confidence and motivation can become an even more powerful tool.

How does self-efficacy influence your child’s behaviour?

Many scholars have written about the power of self-efficacy to dominate behaviour, motivation and persistence. They lay claim to a whole host of effects, some which are more subtle and others more clear.

Some of the main ways self-efficacy could influence your child are:

Their choices: what toys they choose to play with, what activities they choose to engage with, and how long for. As children grow and develop more self-awareness they tend to engage less in activities that they see themselves as being ‘bad’ at.

Time invested: children with a strong self-efficacy tend to engage with tasks for longer, as if they encounter setbacks or mistakes, they are far more likely to be equipped with the motivation, determination and confidence to attempt to put those errors right. If at first you don’t succeed...

Overall well being: when strong self-efficacy beliefs are present this can enhance overall self-worth. It can colour our perspective on the world in a positive way.

Their life trajectory: It sounds like a pretty grandiose claim, but many scholars, like Albert Bandura (1997) have emphasised the magnificent effect that self-efficacy can have on our life choices. Whilst this is often on a subconscious level, these beliefs in our abilities can eventually govern our choices of career, lifestyle, hobbies and so on.

Just think about it, have you chosen a career that you always believed you have a poor ability in?

Unlikely.

You most probably started developing your confidence in your chosen field, engaged well, invested a good deal of time and effort and this in turn landed you a job in it.

It all, however, started with that self-belief.

Four ways to build self-efficacy

“Ok, ok, I’m sold, I believe you, it’s important, but how do I get my child to have a positive self-efficacy?”.

Whilst it is important to understand that self-efficacy is complex and not something we can control as parents, we can have an influence.

These are just some of the ways we can begin to foster a strong self-efficacy in our children;

Encourage your child to make mistakes: through trial and error play - taking risks and praising this process not just the end result.

Improve the praise to criticism ratio: Praise is undoubtedly a huge contributor to confidence, whether that is general confidence or belief in our abilities. Many parenting experts recommend a ratio of 5 positive comments to each negative comment in our dealings with our children. Whilst I find this a little prescriptive, it does provide a little inspiration for how encouraging we can be. On the other hand, we can’t have our child believe they are good at everything and nor should we want to, as this can promote unrealistic and untrue beliefs - as with most things in life there is a balance to be struck.

Be specific in your feedback and praise rather than more generalised: This will help you to be genuine in your encouragement, praising what exactly is ‘good’ about your child’s endeavours. There are often subtle traits and approaches to learning we can praise. For example, rather than commending a child’s “good work” “nice painting” or “great numeracy”, we could pinpoint exactly what has made those things impressive and how the child has approached the task: “Even though you found the start of writing the sentence hard, you kept going and started over again paying attention to the spelling, that’s really persistent!” “You were really playful in exploring so many colours, I love how you have put so many different shapes on the page”.

Be mindful: Just exercising an awareness of how you are responding to your child as they play or engage in activities is a positive parenting step in general, but it can be especially powerful when it comes to self-efficacy. Be alert to offering unfounded praise or exaggerations of your childs’ ability. Even from a very young age kids can subconsciously pick up on inconsistencies between the spoken word and non verbal cues. They are mini human lie detectors...

Be a self-efficacy role model

It may also pay to be aware of how you are modelling self-efficacy for your children.

If you encounter a stumbling block in your work or home life how do you respond?

Do you emanate confidence in your abilities to overcome difficulties, pick yourself up and try, try again?

I recently had a technological faux-pas at home. Rather than calmly search for a variety of different solutions to the glitch and use my initiative to calmly sail through this issue, I gave up, exclaimed I was “useless at technology” and asked my husband to fix it.

And all this was witnessed by our little girl.

Did I teach her that with the right attitude any problems can be overcome if you believe in your abilities?

Not on this occasion, but at least I have been able to spot the error of my ways...

Final word

Building self-efficacy isn’t an exact science.

Sometimes it is hard to reach that middle ground between encouraging our children and over exaggerating their abilities and, sometimes we get the balance wrong, but simply the act of being aware of self-efficacy can help protect it.

By Helen Jones

References

Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. New York, NY: Freeman.

Beghetto, R. A. (2006). Creative self-efficacy: Correlates in middle and secondary students. Creativity Research Journal, 18(4), 447-457 http://dx.doi.org/10.1207/s15326934crj1804_4

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murkserious · 5 years ago

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27 WAYS WE ARE BRAINWASHED AS AFRIKAN BLOOD PEOPLE WHITE VICIOUS SUPREMACY FROM BIRTH

by Dr Boyce Watkins

I remember when I first heard Malcolm X ask, “Who taught you to hate yourself?” Of course we know the answer to this question, but many of us are afraid to say it. Even mentioning the ways that white-dominated institutions shape our thinking can lead to punishment, ostracism, unemployment, incarceration and even death. The deepest part of this process is that the brainwashing in America can be so deep, so insidious, so subtle, that even the most meaningful reflection doesn’t allow us to solve the complex puzzle of White Supremacy.

This issue came to light last week when I went to visit a prison in Illinois. Although I am a law-abiding citizen, the prison took three years to approve me for a visit. After speaking to one of the inmates familiar with the approval process, we concluded that it was likely that my thinking and educational background made me some kind of threat to their system of oppression against black men. God forbid I go into the prison and say something that might inspire these black men to live a more empowered existence.

The fact is that people like myself are threats to white supremacy because we disrupt racialized systematic brainwashing.

I was sitting at my computer one night, thinking about all the ways that our minds are controlled from the time we are born. I thought about the many flawed concepts that are dropped into our psyches by media, the educational system, and even our own families. Some of these ideas hit us so early that we hardly have a chance to escape them. Others simply leave us crippled and unable to fight the racism all around us. Even more disturbing is that some of the greatest white supremacists in America can be other black people.

So, I made a list of several things many of us believe about the world and ourselves at an early age, as well as things we are trained to do that may end up being to our detriment. Of course this list is not final, nor is it presumably correct on every count. At the same time, it gives us something to think about, because the brainwashing is amazing, deep and deliberate in our society.

Here’s the list:

1) Letting our oppressors educate our children, medicate them, and put them into the school-to-prison pipeline. A thorough miseducation can be more destructive than no education at all, since many of our brains are filled with all the wrong stuff to begin with. Maybe instead of handing your child’s brain over to a public school system that has proven that it can’t properly educate black children, you can consider homeschooling the child after they get home for the day. Everything you need to know in order to teach your child is right there on the Internet.

2) Believing that white people are supposed to give us jobs when we can actually create them on our own: Given our long and rich history of working for white people, it can be difficult to see ourselves as the boss instead of the laborer. In fact, even us “educated” black people were often told that you should study hard in school so that some white-owned company will love you enough to employ you. Now, we’re seeing Harvard MBAs in the unemployment line, struggling to survive, like lions raised in the zoo who are starving to death because they were never taught how to hunt for their own food.

3) Thinking that every black person who goes to prison is automatically a bad human being: Mass incarceration is real and it is not by accident. When prisons are filled with strong black men who’ve received 40 year sentences for possessing two grams of a drug that many white people use on the weekend, you know you have a problem. What’s interesting is that the whole world sees this as a serious issue, but we do not.

4) Eating food that is going to give you diabetes and/or heart disease and/or high blood pressure and/or chronic obesity by the age of 45. Maybe eating pig guts and sweet tea with sweet potato pie every Sunday isn’t such a good idea after all.

5) Valuing sports and entertainment over education: Not many people know the name of the black kid who won the math competition, but everybody knows the guy who won the state championship. This fascination with sports as the pathway to success is largely driven by media, which waves black athletes and rappers in front of our boys just long enough for them to believe that education isn’t cool. Unfortunately, almost none of them ever get to play with LeBron James. Instead, the worst of them may end up as 25-year old baby daddies with no job, a criminal record, a weed addiction, bad knees and a fifth grade reading level. This is hardly the kind of man that an educated black woman would want to call her husband.

6) Believing that black people you see on white-owned TV networks are supposed to be leaders or role models to your community: If a white television executive wants to create key influencers in the black community, they can do so by putting that person on a network. Most of your favorite black celebrities, films, radio shows, TV shows and magazines wouldn’t exist to you were it not for white corporate benefactors positioning them to influence your mind.

7) Believing that every tax refund check and every paycheck is supposed to go straight to the mall to buy overpriced European brands from companies that don’t even hire black people: Money is capital to be used for investing, job creation and building businesses, not a consumption item to be given away at every available opportunity for the sake of materialistic excess or instant gratification. In other words, your money is your power, and you should not give all your power away.

8) Thinking that being “rich” means having a high paying job, a big house or a fancy car, even if it’s all financed with debt: There’s a good chance that the “baller” down the street is one paycheck away from being homeless. To determine the depth of true wealth, you have to go beneath the superficial.

9) Calling yourself and your friends n*ggers (or niggaz) and seeing nothing wrong with that: Listen to me carefully – You are NOT a n*gger, no matter how often Jewish-run record labels pay black rappers to tell you that you are.

10) Giving your money to white businesses and avoiding the black ones: Black people are often referred to as “liquid money,” because we are the only ones who are eager to give our money away to other ethnic groups. No one else does this. The guy in Chinatown is never going to buy your sh*t.

11) Thinking that we’re all supposed to vote for the Democratic Party in every election: Even Bill Clinton admitted that he put too many black people in prison, and President Obama’s not letting them out anytime soon. You don’t owe the Democratic Party anything, especially if they aren’t making black issues a priority.

12) Believing that Africa is a poor, dirty, horrible place with nothing but poverty and disease, and that you should thank your lucky stars you were “blessed” enough to live in America: Newsflash – you live in arguably the most racist country in the world. No country on the planet incarcerates black people the way we do in the United States of America. Many African leaders consider America to be racially corrupt.

13) Believing that Harvard and Yale are better than Spelman and Howard

14) Not realizing that both Spelman and Howard were founded by white people

15) Not realizing that most of the people who founded the NAACP were actually white and that this organization never really belonged to you in the first place. Not that they can’t help you, but they have less loyalty to you than to their corporate and political overseers.

16) Thinking that straight hair is “good” and black hair is “nasty,” then giving all of your money to Korean beauty shops so they can make you feel better about yourself. According to Dr Claud Anderson, roughly 85 cents of every dollar spent on black women’s hair goes to Koreans. I hate to admit it, but this makes us look really, really stupid.

17) Believing that light skinned women are more attractive than those with dark skin

18) Knowing nothing about African history, but believing that every great accomplishment occurred in Europe, starting with Christopher Columbus “discovering” a country that was well-populated thousands of years before he arrived.

19) Believing that you’re only supposed to pray, march and be peaceful every time your children get slaughtered by whites. It takes a while to train people to be as peaceful and forgiving as black people are. The brainwashing must be deeply rooted in tradition. Notice how one of the heads of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference was sent for “retraining” (aka re-brainwashing)after stating that black people should defend themselves. Even self-defense is considered to be a form of aggression when you are black in America.

20) Delivering your prayers to a big, white Jesus who will solve most of your problems for you, as long as you give money to the pastor.

21) Looking up to historical figures like George Washington who put our ancestors in chains and probably raped them

22) Believing that integration was a sign of progress for black people and not an era where black institutions were destroyed and left for dead

23) Believing that Martin Luther King is more important than Malcolm X because white people market him more regularly

24) Believing that Martin Luther King only spoke of peace and forgiveness instead of the same rage and reparations that many of us talk about today

25) Thinking that its normal to have an all-black neighborhood with a mostly white police force, when there are no all-white neighborhoods with a mostly black police force

26) Believing that a half-white president is going to be significantly different from a completely white one: Hint – most high-level politicians think alike, since they are supporting the same system that has oppressed you for 400 years. Many of them went to the same universities (nearly every member of the Supreme Court, plus every president for the last 27 years attended either Harvard or Yale at some point in their career). Also, our system incentivizes our political leaders to value corporate money over the plight of the American people. This is going to be the downfall of this nation.

27) Thinking that the first black (fill in the blank) to get into a white institution actually represents progress, even though whites have never considered it be progress to get into our institutions (Does standard White History include a story about the first white man to get into Morehouse?). We’ve been taught to believe that everything whiter is better: White corporate jobs, white universities, white neighborhoods, white TV networks/media outlets, the list goes on and on.

The fact is that we really, really LOVE white people, and this training started from birth. It started with us first learning how to hate ourselves and each other, and then to believe that the only way to restore our lost humanity was to gain the approval of our oppressors. As a result, we spend our lives marching, hoping, praying, working, begging, bowing, and compromising, with the expectation that we will be rewarded for our good behavior. Unfortunately, it can cause many of us to abandon the person we were meant to be, all for the sake of trying to become somebody else.

Once again, feel free to add to the list. I don’t know everything, but my brainwashing as a PhD tells me that I am supposed to think I know everything. So, maybe this is my first step toward escaping my own psychological plantation. We have all been infected affected.

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theloobrush · 5 years ago

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Racism by degrees

Racism is the unfair treatment of a person by reason only or partially of their skin colour or ethnicity. I know racism exists. From the age of 8 to 13 I was frequently bullied and called a ‘P*ki’, and even a ‘N*gger’ at school because I was just a little bit browner than my peers, These upsetting experiences were also bizarre to me because I am not from an ethnic minority. The different ethnicity was simply assumed from my skin colour.

To my mind if we talk about racism, and more especially if we are serious about wanting to fix it, we need to provide evidence in terms of concrete incidences: actions, words, behaviour, rules, policies and laws that need changing. I am very concerned that among social theorists, racism has become ‘abstracted’ and divorced from actual happenings, even economic and social context. Anti-racism has become the servant of ideology, in particular the Cultural Marxism that pervades academia. This ideology wants to generate social conflict between alleged oppressors and oppressed in order to realise utopia via revolution. Signs of this ideology are the presentation of racism as a kind of vaguely explained taint or miasma, using fuzzy, ambiguous, nebulous or incoherent concepts such as ‘systemic racism’, ‘institutional racism’ and ‘white privilege’. These notions go far beyond pinpointing wrong doing. They all have in common the ascribing to a social group or body a ‘collective guilt’ seemingly without the need to prove individual guilt in the present or even prove any particular organisational structures or policies are causally having a bad effect. But if accusations of racism are not attached to actual acts of racism, what we have created is a free floating mirage, floating free from any facts. This worldview is as dangerous as the denial that racism exists.

But if you believe there is something that is meant by ‘systemic’ or ‘institutional’ racism, then I’m going to help you out by demonstrating what you are (probably) referring to is a type of underlying subjective mindset. Except this is a mindset shared, to some degree, by most human beings. I could call this the ‘pre-racist’ mindset, but this ‘pre-racism’ isn’t inevitably morally bad or invidious. Nor does this pre-racism necessarily lead to actual racism. This pre-racist mindset is as old as the hills and better referred to as Xenophobia. Literally, the ‘fear’ of the outsider. While Xenophobia has come to mean the ‘hate or dislike’ of the outsider I have no doubt the Greeks were right first time. A natural anxiety may be the reason we have a ‘problem’ with outsiders at all.

So my argument is Racism is rooted in our xenophobic attitudes to others who are not part of our group. In a somewhat different context Scottish historian Neil Oliver pointed out that ‘Human beings have been tribal since the dawn of our species,and before. Chimpanzees are tribal. Gorillas are tribal.’* It shouldn’t be at all surprising that the presence of newcomers might at the very least create reactions within the tribe. On the positive side, newcomers also often bring new things of value that change the community for the better. Barely any human progress would have occurred if human tribes had been shut off entirely from outside influences.

I believe there is such a thing as a human social ecology, and communities have a natural equilibrium developed over generations that we identify as ‘culture’ and ‘tradition’. This is an equilibrium that can be destabilized for good or ill (usually both) by any significant change. One such is the mass movement of one people in a short period (say one or two generations) whether by colonization or by migration to an area populated by an existing indigenous people. I believe the mass movement of peoples inevitably produce some measure of social - tribal - conflict. The greater the difference in values, the greater the flashpoints. Anyone who cares about social peace must acknowledge that celebrating multiculturalism is backing a huge social experiment with uncertain outcome and where liberal optimism is flying in the face of much historical experience. The issue is not that one culture is ‘superior’ to another - we’d need some independent objective measure to argue otherwise - it is simply that two different cultures of equal objective value and merit, must clash.

I must reiterate. Racism is a bad thing. Why should anyone be treated less well than another person by reason of something that is out of their control like their colour or ethnic heritage? I didn’t want that for myself, so I should not want you to suffer that experience either. We all want to live in a society where each person is equal under the law, equally protected by (and from) the forces of law and order, and all get a fair opportunity for success without artificial barriers, presumptions and prejudice getting in their way. And if this isn’t important to you, remember that we are all members of some minority or other.

It would be equally unwise to not admit xenophobia, if not actual racism, comes very naturally and starts off in the most subtle, and entirely innocent forms. From birth, and without any particular plan or assumptions, we extend our lives beyond our social circle but gravitate to those of similar interests. There is nobody on earth who is so open they care equally for every human being. And even if we felt that way, establishing bonds of trust - the lubricant of social life - with those who are culturally very different to us, is not easy. Familiarity, shared expectations and shared social customs and behaviours, and especially shared language, greatly lessen our social anxiety.

Racism will occur when very different populations of people are pushed together, especially if the resources we all need are scarce or under pressure. A rapid increase in cultural heterogeneity in a community is not some unalloyed good because the instinctual social bonds that bind us will surely be weakened, at least in the short term. An altruistic, God like love of diversity and difference for its own sake requires a form of sophisticated thinking that competes with our base instincts. Instincts which more often than not are behaviour adaptations that once aided our survival.

Here is my take on the types, or better, degrees of xenophobia. Remember behaviours don’t automatically follow, if they do, they may give rise to both stronger group identity and in-group social bonds as well as the unfair behaviour toward outsiders. I have used pejorative descriptions to show extremes of the the mindset - which is informed more by emotion than reason- are not ‘good’ for social peace. Yes, Xenophobia is natural, but so is death and disease which we try to avoid. These mindsets involve objectively unreasonable and illogical prejudices until we have made the effort to get to know someone from an outsider group. And then, even if 10, 50 or 99% of an outsider group, does seem to fit some preconceived negative stereotype, this does not mean everyone from the outsider group is like that. We might be missing out on a beautiful, mutually beneficial relationship.

The Base Level. Innocent ‘casual’ Xenophobia.

Unconscious group bias - the apparently universal tendency to prefer those most similar and like ourselves and to be less naturally trusting of outsiders and newcomers. We give people like ourselves the benefit of the doubt; we tend to empathise more. We’d rather ignore outsiders, we prefer to have people like ourselves around us; we are ignorant of the history or culture of the outsider; the outsider’s manners and behaviour are strange, alien and most especially, unpredictable. The latter unpredictability may feed our anxiety in interactions.

Prick Level Xenophobia

Our bias means we cold shoulder outsiders; we now prefer to have our own group around and we are likely to be conscious of our exclusively. We uncritically accept stereotypes of the other group. We distrust the outsider group to a significant degree. We are highly suspicious of them, but we make no effort to befriend them or learn about them. We are starting to build a negative narrative about the other group or our relationship to them.

Wanker Level Xenophobia

We now believe our group is superior to another, outsider, group. Our success is explained in terms of our group's alleged unique and innate characteristics which just ‘are’. Attitudes to outsiders can range from the patronizing, mockery and condescension to justifying less favourable treatment in terms of our greater ‘desert’. Usually the sense of superiority includes a judgement of intellectual or moral superiority: our group are good, the best or better; that other group are worse or simply bad. We quickly see only the negative, we ignore the positive in outsiders. Along with our sense of superiority is the desire to preserve that superiority or dominance.

Arsehole Level Xenophobia

Without good evidence we conclude an entire outsider group are a physical threat; we are now stirred to action, our reasoning is increasingly clouded by the emotions of fear and anger. Or less dramatically, the outsider group may be perceived as an obstacle to our personal prosperity, a barrier to advancement or simply undermining our way of life by replacing their culture with their own. We see them as in collective competition against ‘our’ people for scare resources (housing, jobs, public services), moreover we believe this is ‘unfair’ competition produced by certain benefits or alleged privileges that have been inappropriately bestowed upon them.

Coda

Lots of experiences in our lives soften or harden (reinforce) the xenophobic tendencies that presumably develop sometime during childhood, as we acquire a sense of ourselves and our place in the world.

Sadly, in the summer of 2020 a significant section of the population is drifting toward arsehole levels of xenophobia. And my controversial final comment is this: no race or colour is immune from a proliferation of xenophobic pricks, wankers and arseholes.

Athlete’s Footnotes

*Neil Oliver on TalkRadio. See https://youtu.be/rWLde0uO6u8

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ts-akhmim · 5 years ago

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Episode 1 | Part. 1 “Can I Kick the Tomb?”- Kendall

Me before Day 1 of Hosts: “I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever.” *40 SEASONS LATER*

https://66.media.tumblr.com/9abe7e9a250f88588980b89fdbc5bd6f/tumblr_pj4lahOlsg1s34uqa_400.gifv

I’m back for another shot and I’m thrilled to see where this goes! It’s been three years since I last played an ORG so I can’t wait to see how much Tumblr Survivor has changed. And who knows, maybe I’ll be lucky this time around. The main thing I’m looking to accomplish this time around is that I have fun! I feel like I took my previous seasons way too seriously (what can I say, I’m competitive) and I feel like that clouded my judgement. I mean, I’d like to win too!! But I want to be able to enjoy myself and make friendships that last a long time outside of this game. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I am currently at home as an unemployed college graduate. So, I feel like this is the perfect time for me to get back into the Tumblr Survivor community and get another shot at an ORG before my life gets busy again. In the past, ORGs have really conflicted with my work/life structure. That’s mainly why I said I’d never do orgs again, because I hated having internal mental breakdowns in public. I didn’t think I’d give it another go around, but now that I don’t have work/school to focus on. And since I have no idea how long this pandemic will last, might as well find ways to occupy my time through ORGs. I feel like I have done almost everything one can do on Tumblr Survivor… except win. Here is a quick summary of the games I played previously to help me reflect on what I can improve upon this time around. First time around, I was a mid-merge boot in Maluku after I was exposed for flipping on the fans and lost everyone’s trust. In Newfoundland, I was sapphire idoled out as an early merge boot for being in charge of the dominant alliance. In Ancient Greece, I was a 4th place robbed goddess after literally controlling the whole game and cut loose by my alliance right before FTC. And in Hosts, I flipped on my OG alliance after finding out people in the alliance wanted me out and got runner-up. So I hope that I can change things around this season and HOPEFULLY win (I’ll cry if I’m a pre-merge boot). My strategy going into this game is just to get to know people on a human level and allow them to think I’m someone who will follow commands/take orders. I don’t want to be the person deciding who goes home, but I want people to feel comfortable talking their every game move with me. Perception is key for this game, so if my allies think they can drag me to the end I’m going to let them think that. I’m hoping with that perception, I can be a subtle move maker this season. Almost as if no one sees me coming for them. I find that my fault in previous seasons is that I either put myself in the leadership role, or I’m too far in the bottom that I’m criticized for all decisions I make. I’m hoping that I have trust for those who are in the alliance within the alliance so that we can eventually overthrow whoever the person in charge is. For now, I just want to socialize and get to know people and hope that by increasing the social game the strategy will all fall into place. One thing that does scare me going into this season is possible pre-existing relationships. I’ve been out of Tumblr Survivor for the past three years and honestly have no idea what happened in previous seasons. I also don’t really keep up with anyone in the community either, so I’m going in with almost zero connections. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is that it allows me to form genuine relationships with them, and I can ensure to my alliance that I’m 100% loyal to them going forward. Numbers are important, so if my tribe sees me as a number it would indicate. The bad thing is that if people know each other, then they could easily get me out if they choose to do so. Especially if they know my reputation as a “flipper” and think I won’t be trustworthy going into a merge/endgame. So I’m hoping that if I have a strong presence on night 1 that I can be included in the alliances and get my way into the majority. Because the last thing I’d want is to be Ethan Zohn’d out of the game. Waiting all this time just to be pre merge would be TRAGIC. Overall, I’ve grown over the past three years and I hope that I can reflect that onto this season. Since I last played an ORG, I came out to everyone through social media and I’ve been able to increase my self-confidence. Last time I played I just finished my freshmen year of college. Now, I’m graduating and going to attend graduate school to get my masters degree. I feel like I’ve grown and matured as a person, so I’m going into this season almost as a completely different person. There’s no holding myself back from anyone and I know that at the end of the day, I’m just here to have fun. So I’m ready for this big adventure that’s ahead of me, because I’m hoping to finish my last ORG (forreal) on a high note!

okay so the season hasn't even started yet and in a shock to nobody i'm already cracked out of my mind? i have fully been spiralling and researching who could possibly also be in the cast based on their avatars? i'm not gonna embarrass myself and put who i have predicted because whenever i put that in a confessional im always wrong without fail? anyway so thought i'd put what my plan is here SO when i completely do not follow this i can look back at myself for being a clown? BUT anyway this season coming back as a winner is very, very scary. it looks like i am going to be the only winner on my tribe, and one of only three winners in the entire game which is very very scary. also last season i was able to kind of operate from a position of being super underestimated? like nobody had eyes on me and that allowed me to get away with murder, and this season i need to play with a consistent awareness that people will... know what shenanigans i'm pulling and always will be tentative to let me play unrestricted. also i am so happy about being on the brawn tribe - that is SUCH a good landing spot for me. i would hate to be a winner put on a tribe for social ability (beauty), or strategic ability (brain)... it also means hopefully i could be in a tribe with less social people who are just challenge beasts, so as long as i am pulling my weight in challenges hopefully can wriggle my way in? the avatars on my tribe are real hard to place, two are not players i even recognise and from looking at the wiki - my only guess is someone called jake from generations is na'onka? just because he is also on the record page for immunity wins... so we will see? i'm just very very worried that i'm going to become alienated for being a former winner but i really. really hope that's not the case! in general... my aim is to just make jury, there are gonna be like no winners in this cast and there are going to be such eyes on me accordingly, so i need to play much more round by round, with a survival mentality? this season is gonna be a disaster for me but we will see how it goes NNNN.

I’m back… somehow! It’s kinda crazy how this is my sixth season of Tumblr Survivor (and my first TS game in like almost two years) but I was just wanting to play. I’ve done just about everything you can do in TS (leave premerge, participate in a Redemption Island duel, be a tribe swap captain, win individual immunity, have an idol, have a double vote, go home with an advantage, be the last person from your original tribe, leave in a rock draw, negate votes with an idol, and make it to the end)... except win, I haven’t quite been able to do that just yet! However, that is all gonna change in Akhmim and I’m sending that in stone. (watch me be a clown and leave first gfbndms). I don’t know, I just really want to prove myself as a capable player yknow? Ultimately, I’m here to look cute, chew bubblegum and kick ass. (‘:

Oh my god, synapses are firing all throughout my brain right now. I didn't prepare myself well enough for this season, but...I have friends here! LMAO! Jordan and Liam L are two people I know very well, I've seen Jakey around on FB, and I've spotted Ali on Discord! I'm hoping I can just integrate myself well enough cause there's a lot happening for me right now...

So I’m on Hathor which is the Beauty Tribe which… does not surprise me at all really? Not saying that I’m pretty or anything but I got 2 brain cells and suck at challenges so being a Beauty was my only option oop. That being said, looking at my Tumblr Survivor ~career~, I’ve only gotten 7 votes (only 5 that count) in the last 3 seasons that I played where I got 6th, 12th, and 2nd place SO that must mean I’m doing something right to be in people’s good graces? With that in mind, I want to be the Belle of the Ball and be the cutest beauty here so people wanna love me, protect me, and work with me <3

Jess, 6:51 PM Unfortunately, you have not entered the Tomb.. 6:52 PM Can I kick the Tomb? Alyssa, 6:52 PM you can 6:52 PM I kick the tomb Alyssa, 6:52 PM Unfortunately you have not entered the tomb

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oh gorl. i cant believe it ladies and gays we're BACK BACK BACK AGAIN.... thanks coronavirus for completely putting my life on pause making me unemployed and able to have the time to do this again? No but on a serious note who in the hell would've guessed little old me coming back out HOPEFULLY one last time, and my mission this time is quite simple. WIN ALREADY BITCH. ITS ABOUT TIME, ITS ENOUGH, WE'RE TIRED. This will officially be my third time playing tumblr survivor, so lemme try and give yall a quick recap just so everyone knows a little bit about me. My very first time playing, I was an extremely young and naive 17 year old who was COMPLETELY tripping, yet it somehow worked for me and I made it to day 39 in og egypt. However, I didnt get a damn vote so that's when I first realized maybe I got some growing to do.... Fast forward to 2 years later, i was 19, moved out of my parents house, living on my own, so a little bit of character development on my own part, and it reflected in my game so much. I was learning from my mistakes and it got to a point where...i legitimately had a shot to win!! I was being smart and strategic, but, I made one mistake that cost me everything when I was so close, top 5, not too bad. 3 years later, and here we are. I'm still living on my own, im no longer that ugly ducking baby adam but now im slowly on my path to mother goose moment! im in a place in my life where im not only physically feeling myself, but I now know who I really am. With age comes wisdom and another chance at tumblr survivor!! Being this is my 3rd time I absolutely want to go all out. I want to WIN. Im so ready, especially on a season like this, brains vs. braun vs. beauty, one of my favorite twists especially because beauty just means so much to me. Not even in like a vain way honestly, like yeah i know im a bad bitch i know im a cutie physically but to me being a beauty is being able to really have a sense of CHARM about you and being able to get whatever you want with it Looking back at my games in tumblr survivor, and in life in general, i usually get my way with the help of my big mouth. I'm absolutely not the best in the challenges, and i might not always be the one who's able to come up with a big plan, but one thing about me thats for sure is im always one to find my way in the know somehow. In both my seasons I played with a very similar approach, first i assess my tribe and everyone in the game and see how workable i feel with people, and from there on i start building relationships. It's like gardening, you find the people you connect the most with, and build from there, and the ones i dont, i simply wont waste my time with and theyll be the ones i vote out, but ultimately as long as it aint me, then oop sorry to these people not me already writing a whole book and i havent even started talking about anyone but MYSELF YET DSFFHJKAFH.....im so sorry @hosts pls forgive me i warned yall i go on and on but ANYWHO ill try to wrap this up. Basically, im in love with my tribe right now, ive obviously talked to everyone and been having really good conversations with Augusto and Kendall. I really like them and could definitely see myself aligning with them. But aside from them I was honestly GAGGED AND GOOPED to see some familiar faces even on this TRIBE. AMIR is someone who i know from way back when in my tumblr candicestewart days when i was raising hell, we were mutuals but havent spoken since so years really, however in a game like this you can take the tiniest bit of association and use it as a groundwork for trust, so stay tuned for that...also AJ?????? me and him have spoken every now and then through various communities we fall into so thats another interesting dynamic, im not sure how anyone feels about me but im hoping they just like me enough not to be the first boot... Also im really glad there doesnt seem to be a lot of juggernaut type players here, my last season was challengers vs. champions so there was a LOT going on with 10 winners and 10 challenger, but speaking of that season i almost forgot to mention JAKE???? JAKE IS BACK TOO???? this.....could be really bad for me. For those who dont know, in cvc, me/jake/jessy had an iconic alliance because of our ~herstory together which stems back to us all being 14/15, and yeah i worked with them for as long as i could, but jake basically ran a cult on challengers vs champions which obviously i wasnt a target as long as i had them as shields by my side so we worked well together, until final 6 that is when i made my move and my vote was the reason jake went home. My whole season people kept saying adam just wants to sleep and play their game, when the truth was, im no dummy, i always knew id have to turn on them, it was just about waiting for the right moment and thats what i did, and if i could go back, id do it again! However, this is a completely new game so to me its a do over, i hope he doesnt have any baggage against me but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if we ever make it on the same tribe even, but i know he's just as good as me so i think we'll see each other again real soon.. this is my 3rd time playing, ive had a good cirie run but i do NOT want to be hvv'd cirie'd whatsoever. and thats kinda my fear coming back, I wanna be able to keep playing lowkey and having people underestimate me for as long as i possibly can, because guess what thats what works every time, these people are such fools they fall for it over and over again! they absolutely should beware of me because im here, and im in it, and i will absolutely lie cheat etc to just about anyone if it means getting me farther. ive got plenty of friends, im here for my virtual crown anywho. first book over with. i swear this was only so long because i was taking about myself too much, wont be as bad next time! well lemme not be delusional i do love talking about myself but xoxo thats it for now time to go back to having conversations and praying if we lose this challenge im not first boot

also getting to (hopefully) play with autumn again? the egyptian gods are good to me

So I’m making my Day 1 confessional mainly so that I hit the 500-word requirement for the first challenge. Tumblr Survivor is different than when I last played 3 years ago. I hope I don’t come across as doing TOO MUCH but I’ve already started on the challenge and I’m trying to spend the first few days socializing and getting to know people. My goal is to have people come to me with alliances because it shows to me that they want to work with me. If I lay the foundation for the alliances, then I get the image that I’m running things. And I want other people to fill those shoes so that I can play an under the radar game. I feel like this is a group of people that I can stick with long term. I have a reputation for being a flipper, so I’m hoping that I can show to the Brains tribe that I plan to be loyal to these people long term in this game. But I also hope that I’m never put in a position where people want me to flip. Anyways, here’s my Day 1 analysis of my tribe: Trace – We played in Maluku together 6 years ago and I flipped on the fans the first tribal to vote him out. Granted, he got his revenge by making me the first boot of a versus side season, I hope he doesn’t try to seek vengeance now. So far I feel like we’re gonna be civil with one another. We talked about him and his boyfriend Matt, how he got a new dog just 3 days before quarantine, and how he recently moved to San Jose California. To me, it makes me think things are pretty civil between us. I could see Trace being a future leader of this tribe, so I hope that he goes about taking that role and makes the first move against people so I can work alongside him. Isaac – My history with Isaac is that I hosted Malaysia, and I feel like we’re on good terms. Which is nice because I don’t have to do the small talk with him and can just go right into the strategy. Sadly I don’t know him too well since he was voted out Day 6, but I felt bad that he was an early boot. The age difference between him and the other contestants played a role in it :/. But right now we’re hitting the ground running with things. We’re talking about my dog at the moment (which I intentionally changed my profile pic to her so that people would use it as conversation starters – we love strategic thinking!) Devon – I like Devon, but at the same time, I also see right through him. Devon’s trying to play a UTR game. I respect that, however, I’m trying to play a UTR game too. We had a brief call to solidify our allegiance to each other. He told me how he was loyal to Alyssa and Jess and they screwed him over big time during Guyana. So I’m seeing that he already has a plan to make sure that doesn’t happen. I want to keep him around because I could see the two of us being a dynamic duo going forward, similarly to Me/Matt in Maluku or Me/Andrew in Hosts. I need to make sure someone else calls the shots and brings me/devon in so we can plot against getting them out. Also, he’s really attractive and it saddens me that he’s straight so I now have to work on that. Autumn – a QUEEN!!! I love her! She’s iconic, she’s a legend, she’s never the same, she’s talented, she’s EVERYTHING! Considering that she’s one of 3 females on this cast, I hope that she and I can be the iconic male/female duo that I have every time I play. Similarly to Me/Maria in Maluku, Me/Lizard in Newfoundland, Me/Gerda in Ancient Greece, & Me/Jessy in Hosts. Right now we’re bonding over graduate school and the severity of the pandemic, so I hope that we can work together long term in the game because I love her. I also have to be careful with her because she’s won before. Duncan – I like Duncan so far too. We’ve played an org season together before I took my 3-year hiatus, but I don’t remember which one. And neither does he LOL. But so far we’ve just talked about psychology since we have a lot of respect for that field and how survivor is a huge social experiment. I’m hoping that he doesn’t see me as a major threat because of our intellectual talk. I like him so far, so hopefully, we can work together going forward. We’ve also talked about the types of dogs we both have and what we’ve been up to with our lives, which I like being able to get to know everyone. Bodhi – I messaged him saying “hi” and he ignored me, so I am comfortable with him being the first boot. However, I will need to have other people go and say they want him out so I can be like “cool let’s do it”. Maybe this will change tomorrow, we’ll see. But that’s where I’m at right now. Overall, I think I have a good fitting with the group. I don’t like that no one’s made an alliance chat yet, but I think my conversation with Devon confirms that I have allies going forward. Plus it's also Day 1, so no one wants to make that type of move yet. I’m hoping that by sticking with the social game for now that I can get people to like me and include me in alliances that they have. For now, I’m just gonna keep talking about my dog until that happens 😊

hey guys its me, again. I know i said I was done going on and on but now i have some tea! the tea is: IM PISSED. last time i played in challengers vs. champions i made it my prerogative to be the first one to find the hidden immunity idol, and so guess what for the last 4 1/2 hours ive been DECIPHERING and trying to figure out how to get it, first i spent 2 hours learning heiroglyphyics because my dumbass really thought it was hidden in plain sight right on our logo! until i realized it made no sense at all, but hey, good to know ill be able to find my way through an egyptian pyramid now if i ever need to! So i kept digging, a little deeper until i seen these little numbers on the blog under all the cast reveals, this was what told me i had just wasted my time with the heiroglyphs but that i was onto an actual lead now, so upon doing that, i was messaging both aj and amir discussing my theories with them because i figured if i didnt find it, i wouldnt mind them finding it....but i definitely just want it for myself first because cmon this is survivor and we havent even had any tribals yet, therefor sure ill let people THINK i trust them, but at the end of the day i only truly trust me, myself, and i. amir then helped me crack that the numbers on the blog actually spelled out the three gods names that our tribes are named after, so then about another hour goes by and i cant find NOTHING ive tried flipping the names, doing research into them, and got nowhere. until i realized, it was so simple, all i needed to do was look at MY tribes god, HATHOR, and then i took that name and coded it into numbers, which lead me to finding the idol trigger. Lemme tell yall how ecstatic I was to find it, it made all my work tonight completely worth it, or at least i thought until i tried entering the tomb and had to answer these questions to get in, and i got one wrong along the way..... I WAS SO CLOSEEEEEEEEEEE, THEN MY DUMBASS OVERTHOUGHT ONE OF THE EASIEST QUESTIONS AND BLEW IT. now i have to wait another 24 hours before trying again, which drives me crazy, i solved and cracked this puzzle within 4 hours, who's to say every other person on this tribe wont do the same? if someone finds it and gets it all right before i do, im gonna be so mad at myself but hey at least i tried, im gonna give myself kudos for figuring that shit out it was not easy!!! and i at least made what i would assume would be one of the first attempts at it, so anyone else who tries yall are copying me and trust you WILL hear from my lawyers!

i am not as upset to be back as i thought i would be! i don't hate the cast and theres only one person in the game that im not excited to see and ironically, its not jordan pines. I got stuck with a bunch of mayo boys at first but then you guys blessed me by bringing autumn into the tribe. THATS MY DAUGHTER AMERICA! i literally was the one to bring her into the community and never got to play with her, i think its crazy that after such a long hiatus from us both that the quarantine gifted me the chance to play with her. Hopefully i can last longer than 1 round to enjoy it lol. Also the boys aren't that bad! They're all really pleasant and enjoyable so far and i found out Trace used to live in STL so we're bonding on that! I'm hoping i can do well but ultimately I'm enjoying this tribe for what its worth but i just can't figure out what to do to go idol hunting haha.

To start, it’s important to acknowledge how good it feels to be back in TS. I wasn’t quite too sure what kind of cast to expect, considering most members from my original season, Guyana, would likely feel uneasy with me in the game. However, it looks like TJ is the only one from Guyana representing this season, which is great news for me. Even then, TJ and I got along great after the season ended, so he doesn’t worry me in the long run. My current tribe is clearly skilled in the social game, because everyone has been active beyond belief. Right now, I would describe my closest ally as Scott. He is a clear-cut threat, but has a lot more connections than I do and could be useful to me in the early stages of the game. We called for a bit last night, and continued to be around the bush about gameplay. However, if we ever lost a challenge, I feel like he’d run with whatever plan we come up with. In terms of my LEAST closest connection, I’d go with Bodhi. He’s a nice kid, but we just don’t relate and he can come across as arrogant at times. Scott has already mentioned him as a first boot, so I’ll likely stay clear of any game talk with Bodhi for the time being unless its pushed onto my lap. My biggest blessing/curse in this game will be the fact that I’ve played FAR less times than a majority of the players. Almost gives a ‘Russell Hantz’ vibe. Far less credibility entering a new season with experienced and well known players, but also means there is less material for them to know about when it comes to my game. As long as I don’t overplay my hand and let the game talk come to me, I could set myself up PERFECTLY on the Brains tribe. Autumn has been fairly quiet, but we talked a bit about television shows, which is great common ground to build on. It would be hard to classify her as a threat right now, but I wonder how much she has been talking to others. As for Isaac, he came in late to my DMs because of his work shift. We both work within food service, so it was nice to reflect on our work shifts and ask him about his interests. I think he’s capable of being someone worth working with, but no game talk has taken place between us. If we lose an upcoming challenge, I expect for that to change rather quickly. When it comes to Duncan, I’m not sure how to read him yet. He’s oddly active, and has likely been talking to everyone for an extensive period. I’d like to say I trust him, but I’m sure others feel a similar way. It will be difficult to pinpoint him as a threat to others, but we will see how things unfold based on the challenge trend. Finally, there was Trace. We held a steady conversation for a bit, but then he disappeared. Would likely make for an “inactive” boot if he doesn’t turn around his social game early, but things happen. Based on the number of times he has played already, it would be ideal to get rid of him within the first 3-5 rounds of the game.

Here’s my cast assessment: Brains: Scott – This guy seems awesome. He seems smart, he seems well-spoken, he seems humble. I’m really excited to meet this guy down the line. Bodhi – All I know about him is he’s supposedly a crackhead and you should be careful around strategically… not sure how I’d fit in there. Trace – I like him! Funny, sassy, he and I totally need to meet! Devon – Fucking Slithers… Isaac – I’m hoping this isn’t the Isaac I fought with in a different game because this guy seems really funny and genuine. Duncan – What is he wearing? Autumn – She seems chill. I’d like to talk to her and get to know her some more. Beauties: Austin – He seems like a good southern boy, but I imagine there’s a diabolic side to him that the intro video doesn’t show. I’m gonna watch out for him. Adam – Another funny guy. He’s got a great personality and I could see making it far, but I also see him as someone that could get to self-involved and make a mistake down the line. Kendall – Ok, she’s cute and funny. Please let her be my new Lexi (and don’t let her be like Alyssa) Augusto – Seems like a good guy, but I’m not sure how our styles would mesh just based on his introduction Connor – Is this Zwooper Connor? Because like… hell yes!!! AJ – Not sure what to say here. Not much of an intro. But he seems interesting. Amir – I’m curious to see what this guy is like. I could see him being like someone I played with my first season which would be intriguing. Brawns: Dan – I’ve been hosted by Dan. I’ve played with Dan. I think he could be a great person to work with moving forward and I’m excited to reconnect with him. Liam M – He’s a funny guy from my interactions from him. He’s been quiet, but I’d imagine he’s not that quiet. TJ – Dumbass Liam L – I love Liam. We just finished another season together, so I could see us working well together Jakey – This guy is F-U-N-N-Y! I need him around. Jordan – Is this guy full of himself? Or like… how do you name a season after yourself? Ali – I like this guy. He’s going to be a social threat as a winner, so I’m gonna let him make himself a bigger threat.

okay so this is going to be my five hundred word confessional! My cast assessment is uploading so this is going to be a bit out of order but some updates. im now in an alliance with jordan and jake so life is GOOD. I love them both and they're both kinda chaotic and super fun which is super exciting! i also cracked the idol code with dennis yesterday in my host chat! my plan is to search again in three hours when i can, hopefully snag the idol and then tell my two lovelies so i can build trust. thats the goal anyway... in other news... trace from brain thinks he is SO slick. he edited his wiki to remove the fact that him and connor are friends like sir... the fact y'all hosted together is enough for people to be worried about you, you going all FBI level redacted is so stupid? it makes it look like MORE of a thing. anyway so if i can get my way one of connor or trace (or both im not picky) would go prejury... hehehehhe hmm wowie five hundred words is a lot more than i thought.... anyway so other thoughts lemme think... i think my game plan this season is something im going to stick to of gravitating towards the big personalities and threats. like i need cover as a winner with that said im very lucky that im probably the worst winner of the three? amir is literally one of the scariest ever and im terrified of him... and autumn i love her but she is more fun and strategic than me! like me landing on brawn is also great, because i'd rather be seen as brawny than strategic or social... god i really do not know how to fill up 500 words this is so tough not enough has happened yet hmmm... maybe i update my tribe thoughts... so Jake I LOVE, he is so much fun and i think we are gonna really really vibe... im excited hehehe. Jordan Pines is a legit legend, like he is gonna be SUCH a hoot i feel it... me jordan and jakey are literally gonna blow stuff up on this tribe and beyond im MANIFESTING it. others on my tribe... TJ is lovely! he talks so formally hehe its like our conversation is a script? like its human but its slightly rehearsed and weird its odd. British Liam I really like I really wanna stick with him but I am worried for him about being an easy vote? I wanna keep him safe tbh... then other Liam is ofc close to Jordan, which btw im SO glad jordan like addressed head on with me... im kinda fine with him sticking around now at this point... dan I love too! i think at this point my priorities are sticking with jake and jordan, while also protecting liam lovelis if he becomes a target because i really like him!! liam m first boot if jordan is fine with it, otherwise TJ...

I haven't done one of these yet and honestly, I am just gonna spill a little about my tribe? I like everyone a lot so far. I hope that we can win some challenges and stay safe for a while. I really like Ali, Jordan, and Jakey so far. But also, I know them from before this. Ali and I have never played together I don't think but we have always talked about wanting to. Jakey and I go waaaay back. He is actually from the same part of NY as me. We had a rocky relationship years ago but we have both come a really long way maturity wise. Then there is Mr. Jordan Pines. We always have good intentions and want to work with one another, but we always seem to start off on track, and then identify each other as threats and kill one another. He usually out places me so I want to keep an eye on him. As for the others, I'm really just trying to remain social, make those connections, but focus on the people that I know. I hate playing like that, but honestly, it might get me farther. As far as my strategy this game, I want to be super loyal to people. That's how I played my last game and it got me 2nd place. I know that I should be striving for first, but honestly second isn't too bad lmao. I think that what was missing from my last TS game was the glamour. The jury said they missed "big moves" and "idol plays". Well honey, let's do that then! I need to come up with a plan to incorporate those things into a strong social game. I just fear that I'll be damned if I do, and damned if I don't. My fear is that I will come up short with the moves and get second again, or I'll overplay and find myself gettin somewhere between 10th and 7th. I think a way I can get around this is not bringing all the people I trust into a big group. If i'm able to divide and conquer my allies, it will show loyalty, but also strategy. As far as the idols are concerned. Who the fuck knows. I can't get into this tomb, I can't figure anything out about it. I am searching high and low on the blog and pictures trying to find the key into the tomb. I have a feeling it is one of those things where you really need to put in some work to find it. Or it's one of those, it's under your nose the whole time and Jess, Alyssa, and Drew can't believe how stupid you all are. That is more likely the true answer to this haha. I have been asking Ali and Jordan about what they think, and they have basically "come up short" I don't know if that is really true or not, I know that they are really smart players. I think the key could also be in the posts as far as the hashtags. There are some really weird hashtags on some of the posts. Maybe it's a code or something? Lemme look into that.

Soooooo first day was super exciting bc my whole tribe is new ppl which I like bc it's always good to start in a fresh type game ya know. I'm on the beauty tribe werdily so I figure I'm the tai of the season . I also saw on one of the other tribes liam from my season is here so that could be a good or bad thing just have to cross that bridge if and when needed. First person I saw and talked to on my tribe is kendell and I really like her vibe . She seems super chill and I saw she played as a hero is a past season so could be a loyal player. Amiry I actually have seen before in a mini on discord. We didn't talk much but l dis vote him to win in the end so that could be good in my favor . Aj is really nice to seems to be a lil younger then but good to chat with so far. Adam is someone in the game that i have a few things in common with which is great bc connections is exactly what I need to make right now with a game full of new ppl .connor I'm not fully sure how i feel about him yet. He seems like he could be funny but he is always a lil short when we talk and I feel maybe he could be the person to go and i would be okay with it . Augusto is def the person I have probably been talking the most with so far . He seems like he could be my person in this game . I mean things change all the time but as of now that's how I'm feeling about him . I'm so nervous being back in tumblr survivor so soon after my first season in nighingale islands. I got 4th place and if anything I wanna do better now worse . Its alot to hold myself up to but i feel i can push my self more this game and do it . I'm hoping to try and play a lil different this time around . I wanna be bolder and try to do more with myself game wise . I want to play more strategic and not care even more to get my hands dirty. People in the past have called me cutthroat and a villain so why not be the best villain I can be . Finding a idol or advantage and getting a vote at ftc is the other goals I have for myself this season . I know its early but I have a great feeling about the beauty tribe and think we are gonna do great in this game together. Well that's about 500 for the challenge . Hopefully you'll get more confessionals from me in the game . Its gonna be a crazy season . May the tumblr survivor gods be with me in this crazy ass game . Peace out girl scouts . Have a great day . Goodbye all.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: BEAUTY TRIBE austin: hes boring but nice and that is okay, just be who u are adam: dangerous, mariah stans dont respect old people, animals or the dead. he scares me. hes real funny tho, kendall: she is so cute, she seems very hesitant to talk to me, but I want to work with her. Shes the only girl on our tribe so like shes not gonna be targetted by a bunch of twinks so its better to be with her than against her augusto: my fav so far, Relatable sweet idk i love him i hope he gives me a chance connor: white gay twink aj: i dont feel Cast Assessment : Winners Ali: my biggest threat in this game by far, kind, can be ruthless, underestimated, he’s gotta GO but I also have to work with him ?? Idk I want to work with him but I don’t think he will want to work with me so idk how I feel about that one yet. Autumn: she is extremely likable from this one intro vid alone...girl we in danger. Want to work with her for sure.

I want to build a relationship with every member of my tribe, but I am afraid because that could make me a target when I’m already one. Today, I will talk to everyone but not about game at all, tmmrw I will select 1 or 2 people to really trust with game stuff. The goal is to be social but not the most social person on the tribe. I need to get at least 2 or 3 of these people to feel some kind of emotional attachment to me, so I’m gonna keep it strictly personal convos for tonight. I do usually get attached to people as well but this game, being back for the third time, I can’t hesitate to cut a single person. It’s clear some of the people on this tribe are wolves in sheep’s clothing, mainly Adam and Augusto who are lovable and sweet but careful with their words. They are level 3 thinkers (shoutout to jacob). Kendall, Aj, and Connor seem to be more like level 2 thinkers. Austin seems like a level 1 thinker so I have to work with him, those are the kind of allies I need.

Adam gave the numbers the for this thing, but I told him to use a decoder to turn it into letters. I know I’m an asshole cuz he tried to help me and gave me the clues but I am not going to tell him how to find the tomb, simply because I want it, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he figured it out

Also Amir....

So on my tribe, Kendall has played with aj, Aj has played with Kendall and and Connor, and Connor has played with aj and augusto.Kendall and Aj were never on the same tribe, so that’s not a threat. Augusto and Connor both made it far together and didn’t vote each other out so that’s gotta be something to watch out for. Kendall seems super well connected in general, I think the move is to scoop up Austin and Adam and then take out on of the other 4 but if the 4 of Kendall/Aj/Connor/Augusto end up aligning, well, good luck Charlie! So basically my issue is that I don’t trust anyone. Like everyone on this tribe is either distant or a threat, and the thing is is I HAVE TO TRUST SOMEONE so like?? If I just keep my cards close and not talk game with anyone that’s just ensuring being on the outs, but I can’t choose weather to align with the social threats or the people who I barely know anything about because they don’t wanna talk to me much (Kendall Connor Austin aj) Meeee finks the move is to align with Augusto and Adam, they’re both obviously huge threats, but risks need to be taken so I’m going to work on establishing a game relationship with both of them, I trust Adam more than Augusto, and then we can maybe maybe pull in Austin ? Okay literally no one wants to talk to me i i i i, like no one on this tribe messaged me first except augusto, but hes very hesitant about any info in general. Kendall/austin/connor all do not seem to care to try and talk to me so only 2 things are possible, they have all aligned and are planning my downfall, or people r inactive for now but idk. IDK> i do not trust ANY OF THESE HOES ONE BIT, i have to find this fat ass idol tonight i must i must Im gonna get on a call with adam tonight and try and figure some shit out but homeboy literally told me that he took out jakey in an earlier season even tho it was bad for him jsut cuz it was cool to take out a high profile player like sis what in the actual FUCK AND HES THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS INTERESTED IN ALIGNING WITH ME LIKE EWKFNEWKFLEWFE i have no choice but to work with this basket case, GOD WE CANNOT LOSE IMMUNITY WE CANNOTTTTTT the people from the other tribes that I would like to work with the most would be jakey and duncan and bodhi. I really wanted to work with bodhi on cutthroat and I genuinely love duncan he is a sweet heart through and through. I wanna work with jakey because he is a massive threat and has bad blood with people who are in thi game. He can also be volatile and someone I can turn into a target ahead of me if it I required

guess who just got an IDOL HEHEEHEHE. It's Pharaoh Thoth. It's Pharaoh Thoth. I must have said that literally six hundred times in my host chat, the fact that Thoth is a tribe name was legit staring me in the FACE i'm just stupid. and then i messed up on question 9 at 5AM yesterday so i had to stay up till 5am for a second day running which was soul crushing but.... i have an IDOL. I definitely did much more work this time, compared to last time where benj carried my lifeless corpse across the idol bridge only for me to get two separate idols. dennis definitely had to like defibrillate my brain cells into shape but im proud of the work i put in. having an idol is definitely super scary because the risk of going home with one in my pocket is super super high... but.... hopefully I can use this idol to cause havoc and shake some stuff up. it also covers me for a bad tribe swap which is a situation i really see happening this season for me... it just gives me some cover and some wiggle room! im really excited overall tho... ive already snatched myself up an idol and its only day two? ive got an alliance with my two favourites on the tribe, good connections fostering with all the others on my tribe and an idol... which by the way i'm calling dennis im so excited this season is gonna be hoot... also one more time for good measure ITS PHARAOH THOTH.

Alright! I'm so very excited to be back for Tumblr Survivor Brain vs Brawn vs Beauty! So far I'm really enjoying my tribe even though I was cast as a Brain??? What's up with that?? I'm just some hippie from the swamps of Tennessee who is decent at doing long division. So I guess I'll go through my tribe and talk about them individually: Autumn seems pretty cool, I know she is a gigantic social threat so she could maybe potentially be utilized as a shield but I like her! We've been talking a lot about food and the south but that is okay. Bodhi approached me Night One offering an alliance to which I was ecstatic to take him up on! Bodhi is a very very smart and cunning player, which makes me even happier to be working with him because I think as of right now he needs me to get off of this tribe. Duncan is a wildcard in my eyes. I haven't played with Duncan since Pacific Islands and we didn't get along if I recall correctly and I seem to be having trouble creating a dialogue with him? According to other sources that seems to be a consensus. Devon is really nice and I think that Scott thinks he's attractive but that's neither here nor there. I think this is the Devon who went by Slithers in Guyana and referred to Alyssa, Dani, and Jess as females at Final Tribal Council. He seems to be EXTREMELY straight (he said when he's not slinging 'rittos at Chipotle he's playing Call of Duty or watching sports) which is okay if straight people weren't my kiss of death in these games. Scott is a really fun one! He hosted me in Malaysia and always seemed to be a sweet guy and our talks together for the past few days have kinda proved that assumption? We've gotten to know each other pretty well and I think he's a cool dude. I really also didn't wanna be the one to tell him about Amanda Lynn but I was and he joined in on the jokes like a champion! I really think my relationship with Scott could be something that carries me at least to the first swap? Trace is an enigma to me. We have played Tumblr Survivor now 3 times together (he voted me out every time) and he hosted me in Manhattan Beach and I genuinely think in these first two days we have talked more than the rest of those combined? He is a masc for masc dreamboat though but he knows that. If I have to stroke his ego to get where I need to be I genuinely have no problem doing that. I have been trying my best to get in everyone's good graces and/or at least get a dialogue going with them and it seems to have been working? The suckiest part about this tribe at the moment is that there doesn't seem to be an obvious inactive or someone we can scapegoat but here's hoping we don't lose or we lose bad enough we can put it on someone who isn't me.

i cant believe i learned a tik tok dance. i've never even downloaded tik tok before

this is a RANT confessional it's day 2 and im already so annoyed with this DUMB BITCH...and yes i am the dumb bitch in question WHAT ABOUT IT DAY 2 AND I GO TO THE TOMB AGAIN TRYING TO GET IN, AT THIS POINT IM POUNDING ON THOSE DOORS HARDER THAN ANY JEHOVAHS WITNESS YOUVE EVER SEEN LIKE LET ME IN PLEASE!!!!! and once again, i start off good on the questions, then BOOM i just flop out of no where. story of my life. like DAMN by the time i do get in there's going to be nothing left for me but a fucking stick. But its ok, last night you know what i got cocky and i honestly mightve blown it thinking i could find it myself, so i was forced to make a VERY risky move. im a FIRM believer in loose lips sink ships and thats always one of my biggest strategies when i play survivor is to use infomation and keep as much to myself as possible so i can play my game how EYE want and make MY moves as i see fit, however.....clearly that strategy has not WORKED for me seeing as ive lost twice, so im trying this new thing, its such a crazy concept it's called asking for fucking help ! this was really hard for me to do because of my whole tribe so far im gonna be honest i feel like i have a genuine bond building with AJ, Augusto, and Amir, but i dont want to go spilling the tea on the idol to everyone, the last thing i want is everyone else figuring out and trying to get it, granted, finding it probably wasnt that hard and im just a dumb bitch so someone else most likely ALREADY has it, however, if they dont.... i decided i wanted to make a move and tell AJ about it. Me and AJ have a past connection thats pretty good so basing it on that alone i decided to share my tea with him, and honestly i LOVE augusto and amir too, however.... these people are all silent killers, they wont be fooling me. even though i want to believe theyre on my side, im gonna need a vote before i start to put trust like that into them. So until them, im putting my eggs in AJ's basket and hoping he finds something and will trust me moving forward because of it, even if he already found it himself and didnt tell me, i at least made the effort to show him i want us to be in this together, so hopefully trusting and opening up a little bit more will finally improve my game but if not i am still hoping absolutely no one finds it so i can be greedy and try again, and probably flop again tomorrow. **BREAKING NEWS ALERT: aj has just informed me he DIDNT find it, which he could be lying but i dont think he is, but only another 24 hours will tell...

I have not written a confessional in a day, why am I like this? Anyway, y’all are about to hear EVERYTHING! We all get onto the beach and the gag is that 3 winners join the game alongside us losers (;-;) but honestly, it isn’t too bad? Like genuinely, it’s cool that the winners get to return like yay for them! Not only that, but if people believe these winners to be a threat then that’s just a shield for me so I am not mad at that whatsoever! Looking at the cast this season… I see familiar faces and I’m not sure how to feel? I know Dan who is on the Brawn Tribe (Apis) and I adore Dan as a person. That being said, I had a lot to do with his boot in Seychelles and while we were working closely together, I had to get him out. My thing about games is that if it’s a new game, it’s a new slate. However, is he gonna feel the same way? Only time will tell. On the Brain Tribe (Thoth), I have played with Isaac, Trace, and Bodhi. My relationship with Isaac is inch resting because I think he’s amazing and he has actually hosted me before… but the only thing is that we voted for each other to go in Socotra so who knows how he feels about me in that way? Trace I know because of Socotra as well and we did click socially but we just never had much of a chance to play with one another so there isn’t much to say about that. Now Bodhi…. He is the person I am the closest to out of all these people and I do not know how that will affect this game? I was the only person to stick by his side during the first round of Socotra when he went home in a revote and in a way, this was good karma because I was the only Great Lakes representative still alive after Final 21. Now will he remember my loyalty and admiration for him if we are reunited in this game? Girl, I deadass have no idea and it could go anyway… which is scary like a yikes on bikes moment right there. The only person that I know on my tribe is Connor since we played in Socotra together. We weren’t TOO aligned but the round I left, him and I made an alliance with Samantha. However, this loyalty wasn’t tested much considering I got rocked out. However, a connection is a connection so pursuing that is something I am okay with. As far as my tribe goes, I really do like everyone! I am trying to be this super approachable person that people can laugh at and laugh with yknow? So I do hope it works in my favor in the long run because currently, everyone except AJ has expressed the fact that I am one of their favorite people to talk to on this tribe so yay for that!

Alright, so the first full day is over, we're nearing the end of the first challenge, and I think that I've positioned myself at least somewhat decently? I think I've learned from past seasons that the goal of this early stage is to make sure you're about right in the middle in terms of activity, socialness (which isn't a word, but everyone is going to know what I mean by it) and challenge performances. That way, nobody has reason to get rid of you before a tribe change(whether that's because people think you aren't going to be helpful in challenges moving forward or because you're too big of a threat and can't be allowed to make the next stage of the game) and will allow me to make some connections that will help me both now and later in the game. I think I'm implementing this well at the moment. I had a nice talk with both Dan and Jakey and I think both of them will look out for me early on, specifically for this first vote. Once that trust is established from voting, I think both of those will be very fruitful for me moving forward. Same with Ali and Liam L. Both of them have been talking to me a decent bit and I like the rapport that I'm creating with both of them, but these two are going to be HUGE threats this season, I can already tell. So I think it's best I get on their good sides and allow other people to catch on to the fact that these two are going to be people who need to go whenever you get the shot (specifically though when they stop benefiting me). This first challenge absolutely sucks! I always hate these stupid scavenger hunts and will be so glad when it's over. I think I've put in a decent amount of work that will show that I'm here and want to play, but we'll have to see after the challenge is revealed how my score is really going to stack up. I really don't want to go to tribal this first round, but I could see either Jordan or Liam M. being people who could be targeted for everyone else to not be the first boot if that's the case. I think Liam specifically hasn't spent as much time socializing and I think others hopefully know how large of a presence Jordan has (I've known him for two days and I figured this out). So like, it would make sense to take one of them out early, but I reiterate that I'm quite ok not going to tribal here and just being safe. Being back for my third time means that this truly needs to be the one where I can take home this win. I admittedly don't know if there will be a fourth shot for me. I think I'm nearing the end of my ORG playing as hard of a realization as that is for me, but I know that I'm not able to commit the same way I was when I was back in high school, so I need to make the most of this time out there. I made huge mistakes in my redemption season that still haunt me to this day, so hopefully I can fix those this time around, play a strong, strategically sound game, and maybe I can surprise myself this time around.

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All right 500 word confessional coming up. Time to say my thoughts on this game so far and this is a good excuse to do it. Its been 65 seasons since i've done an all returnee season which is a crazy fact I won't shut up about even though drew hates it, and I’m feeling good so far on this brawn tribe. I already have an alliance with me Ali and Jakey, and strong bonds to Dan and Liam, that leaves Lovelis and TJ my new people I'm meeting and probably people i'd target if we lost just due to the fact I don’t really know them. Out of the two I’m probably having better early convos with TJ but I don’t think thats really indicative of anything as its just been 2 days and anything can still happen. Honestly this cast is kind of a mix and match of crazy throwbacks for me like y'all got me SCOTT, y'all got me KENDALL, like I am floored and I am so excited to play with some of these people. I think my strategy for the starting tribes is to try to chill a bit and not be the centre of attention if I can manage that. Ideally I just want some easy rounds where we mostly win immunity, but if I’m honest Im gonna want to go to at least one tribal before we swap, and i don’t want to go into a swap not knowing how people are actually planning on playing, I want a chance for everyones cards to be laid out early, and then I can better understand the playing field. Okay I'm running out of things to say and I still got like 200 words to go. Alright the tomb, FUCK THE TOMB, its crazy for me that theirs an idol system I just haven't auto figured out before anyone else, its very out of character. Especially that before this game started I found the legacy advantage and left the hosts shook, like they were actually speechless the game hadn't started yet and I already have a power that was a great moment. But the tomb has still alluded me. What I know is that their are numbers on the cast reveal posts and a weird in face in the picture but I cannot out two and two together to make this work. Im hoping everyone is struggling as much as I am because I don't want any powers on the table that I do not know about. I want ideally to know where everything is even if its not in my possesion. Knowledge is power and I want all the knowledge possible to give me the best upper hand. Im cautiously optimistic on this starting tribe that I don't think people will target me early, so I think all I got to do is just secure my relationships and make sure that when this game starts getting crazy, i got enough people feeding me info so I'm in control. WHEW 500 WORDS DONE!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CxQVVsZUxRnM6PtiAIKKX2ncbSa-2rOR/view?usp=sharing Look man I am exhausted if you want intensive strategy you have come to the wrong place

Truthfully, the biggest gag of this whole season is me being placed on the brain tribe. I obviously am brilliant, graduated from honors from a top university, etc. But like, my beauty is undeniable, no? God I hate that I wrote that but, I AM BACK! It feels good to be back on a season where like nobody seems that negative? Yet? It was really refreshing to see a couple of people that I already knew, but I honestly have a really good feeling about this brains tribe. I connected really well with everyone on the first day, and I feel like I already have a strong standing in the tribe just after a few hours. I also love that this tribe is only 7 people and not like 12 because I can actually connect with people on a closer level. That being said, another great thing about this cast is that I also have a good amount of friends on the other tribes. Connor is here. I love that for me, but I am going to have to be very strategic about how I use that friendship if our paths ever do cross because I am not going to let it get in the way of me being strategic and making moves that actually make sense for my game in the long run, not just to appease my friend. A similar thing could be said for Dan D, but he is also just like a scary good player and he’s engaged now too so I have to really work on that friendship. I am feeling somewhat good about this challenge. I have taken the time to really try and do as many of the things as I can, and all I can hope is that my tribemates do the same. I am a little nervous about some people’s scores… Autumn. We have less than 12 hours to go and she still hasn’t started. But I am hoping that some of the scores of the more active people will carry us to a win. It would be cute if I could avoid tribal for a bit, but I know I won’t be able to. Also, Isaac being here is funny. Immediately he came to me and was like, “god I hope you aren’t going to vote me out this time, AGAIN.” And I obviously would really love to work with the kid but clearly our history is a bit rocky. So my plan is just to be kind and kind of act like it didn’t happen in hopes that he too will do the same and we can actually work together as friends this time. In closing, I appreciate the opportunity to be brought back, and I really hope that I do not let any of my fans down! I am going to keep socializing, using my social skills to create lasting bonds that will hopefully save me for a couple of tribals. We will see what happens as the season progresses but for now, please wish me luck!

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Okay! I am awake! I can make a functional confessional maybe! So first hour of the game I made an alliance with Austin because I have no impulse control and hey thought it would be swell. I then made an alliance 30 minutes later with Augusto and I probably would have made more alliances if Augusto didn't say "Kendall plz wait like a day," So I did wait a day... and then made 2 more alliances 24 hours later. In my defense it wasn't my turn with The Beauty Tribe's communal brain cell and it's been 7 decades since my last game. Anyway I think it worked out because now we have a power alliance and we are Bringing Sexy Back! ... Literally that is the name of our alliance. Bringing Sexy Back. I came up with it and it's like a double meaning because 1. We Sexy and 2. We back. We do not have backs though... there was a tragic accident. Anyway the Core 4 is Me, Augusto, Connor, and Amir. And we keep saying shit like final 4 final 4 but I have to determine the weakest link before it hits me in the face. I don't trust Connor which is why it's important we work together, because I have a feeling he's going to cause damage either way and it will be safer if he thinks I trust him. He has played with Augusto and has a high opinion of him, so that duo is something I am somewhat worried about. I don't know why I don't trust him, it's not a matter of dislike, if anything he's one of my favorite people to talk to on the tribe it's just there is something calculating about him. Like he's sizing us all up. Augusto and I get along pretty well. He keeps saying shit like "Queen" and "We are meant for each other" and other weird but nice things. We both live in Utah so that's pretty lit. I'd like to work with him but I'm also wary of flattery. He seems to be pretty social with the other two as well, like I mentioned before he and Connor were once on the same season together and Amir mentioned that he's the person he talks to the most. It makes me a bit suspicious as to where his loyalties lie which is sort of dumb because he's like legally allowed to talk to people but I don't want him to be their number ones. It would be inconvenient. Amir is... a mess. A likable mess but a mess. He literally told me he has been waiting for someone to ask for an alliance and that he talks the most to Augusto. He wears his thoughts on his sleeves. He seems a bit nervous to be back, like we'd perceive him as some sort of threat because he was an extra player so to speak.... I don't not yet anyway but it's probably for the best I don't say that out loud. We talked about having a spare fifth and I put Austin on the table because 1. it would be nice to have control of a spare. 2. To keep my promise to him to work together. Sadly I wasn't all that subtle about it so... probably sketched the others out even if it was only a little bit. There 400 words plus other more words. Suck it and See bitches! And by bitches I mean hosts and I guess who ever else reads this.

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Ok so I have full confidence that I can reach 500 words because I talk too much as it is so here we go hahaha. My tribe is taking this challenge super seriously and while I obviously stan and enjoy having a very active and engaged tribe, I need them to have lower expectations cause your girl is on her period and she just wants to nap. This whole “everyone needs to get 100 points” energy is not a message I can actually endorse. I am content with a smooth 50 points so if I get more than that great but I don’t need the pressure. I respect everyone’s right to go hard but I would like to not do that. Like it’s a Monday my guy- if that’s how you want to spend it by all means but this is not the only org I’m in and it’s definitely not the only thing I have to do today. I desperately need to do laundry but like changing the sheets on my bed and going to two Zoom meetings has me BEAT. Like I’d call it a day to be honest IF it weren’t for my damn tribe and their push to 100 points per person. All I know if I reach that goal, y’all better not say a damn thing to me because I really tried. I not only look like garbage but I feel like garbage yet I’m out here taking videos and drawing on my face and looking up a damn TikTok dance even though the whole world knows it by now and I’m like why? Why am I doing all this? Is it really to keep white men happy? Does this arbitrary goal mean anything in the end? Do we really NEED 700 points and can we negotiate that number down a little bit? I’m just saying Like obviously I want us to win but no I don't want to spend all day doing this against my will. Y’all need to be happy with whatever I give you and VERY hot take: if I don’t get 100 points then what. What y’all gone do about it- fight me? I do not own Crocs, VHS tapes, anything Egyptian, anything Survivor related, anything rainbow, or a banana and I don’t feel bad about it. There, I said it. I own what I own and I ain’t breaking quarantine for anything so hear me when I say: y’all will get whatever I give you. I want to EAT today but no I gotta get to making all these random videos so I can rack up points, some of which would make for quality blackmail but we won’t get into that. I’m doing this honestly for all the iconic female players who aren’t playing. I can’t make them look bad by being first fucking boot in a season that only has two women playing out of 21 people so I will just suffer through the pain. It’s not like I don’t have the numbers to stay anyway so there’s that. This is all really a formality, if you will. I’m not going anywhere- low score, high score, it really doesn’t matter but that’s just between us girls.

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wow, is it great to back! initially, i was pretty nervous entering this game because i honestly just didn't know what to expect. however, i feel as though i'm sort of picking up where i left off a few years ago in terms of adaptability. i was placed on the beauty tribe, and immediately there were a ton of familiar faces that i could connect with. those being adam, amir, and kendall. i would consider connor one too but we were never that acquainted when we played idlm together, i'm pretty sure i even voted him out. as with any game, it's all about breaking the ice in those starting days by striking up conversation with other people on your tribe and seeing what they're all about. with my aforementioned connections, i felt as though it was pretty easy slipping into conversation with them and just catching each other up on how life's been since we last met. with adam, that wasn't really the case since we still frequently see each other but nonetheless! augusto has left a HUGE impression on me in the best way possible. i adore literally every aspect of him and it feels like and i could be pretty good friends. austin is very sweet and we have similar interests, but i'd love to continue getting to know him to form a more solid relationship with him. overall, i feel as though the tribe dynamic works pretty well. everyone is likable and of course, while it's expected for the beauty tribe, it'll be tough in the event (knock on wood) we ever go to tribal! but i'm always geared up and ready to go girl so i guess i can take on anything. our first challenge is the scavenger hunt, and while i lowkey loathe it, this one was actually pretty fun! hopefully we win it because we seem to be pulling out all the stops for this. one of the tasks had required us ALL to be on call and honestly i feel as though that really brought us even more together as a tribe. it was an instant kii with everyone as we sat around sharing interesting experiences and memories. going into actual game discussion, adam is EAGER to play. like EAGER. he's so excited and his mind has been racing since i've touched base with him. as soon as we were introduced to the tomb, his cracked ass starting spiraling. he was NOT gonna stop until he figured out how to get into this tomb! initially, he thought the hieroglyphics on the logo were of importance but he then noticed that the tags on the cast reveal had interesting numbers that corresponding to our tribe name. we ultimately put these numbers into the blog and were let inside the tomb. HOWEVER, we have to fight to even see what's inside of it! we have to answer 10(?) questions i believe relative to egypt, and i got about 7 of them right and stumped on one, halting my progress until the 24 hours are up and i can go again. out of an act of selfishness, i do want this idol all for myself so hopefully adam doesn't get there before me, though i wouldn't mind it as right now i consider him my final two? but we have WAYS to go so who knows if that even holds up.

I guess i need to do one of these anyway!!! I wish i could do a video but i will suffer for the greater good as always!!! The cast this season is very interesting!!! I dont know a lot of people which is a plus but there’s a few haters in the game i hope aren’t coming after me as much as I’m coming after them LOL. Adam, Kendall, and Trace sorry boos your time is limited! I will never trust these players. On my tribe we have a masc straight energy with Liam, Lovelis, TJ, and Dan and some more feminine energy in myself, jordan, and ali. The fems have decided to join a group to stay together and hopefully we can get someone to vote with us if we have to go to tribal council. For right now I trust both of these players, but moreso Jordan. We’re not entirely sure if we can trust Ali. The temple stumped a lot of us and I haven’t heard much about anyone finding it. EXCEPT ME BITCH. I found that shit last night and I was so hype then jumped the gun on the third question and flopped. But I’m reallyyyyy hoping no one else has it, though I fully suspect someone else to have found it. I’m not going to tell a soul because I want it for myself and I’m worried word would get out that I found it and people would suspect I have an idol, even if I don’t. I don’t want to lose at allll. I’m putting my all into this challenge and praying we come out on top. If we get another clue, whatever, just don’t send me to the hell place. TJ is a cool dude and I enjoyed my conversation with him the first night. We vibe together even if he is a straight male and I am gay as a fedora. I like our pairing and I don’t find him to be a sneaky player so I’d love to develop our partnership further so we can be a powerful force in the game. I would feel good knowing I have someone outside my alliance watching my back as well. Right now, it’s hard to get a read of the tribe. Everyone’s kinda quiet, besides ali and jordan, and I don’t know if it’s because they’re already against me or just hard to warm up to. I guess time will tell but can that time be later? My plan right now is to just continue being myself because I think people like me on this tribe for the most part. I’m not going to over-socialize or play too hard cause the way this tribe is going, saying one wrong thing could make you stand out. I’m trying to hide in the shadows and play the cute role for as long as possible before I smile in their face and slit their throats :~) Also I may have planted some doubt into Jordan’s ear about Liam! Because Liam said to me he can’t do the tik tok dance bc of his foot disease that flares up sometimes. Note, this tik tok had no feet movement and could virtually be done in a chair. So I just let Jordan know what Liam told me and immediately Jordan was irritated. I didn’t intentionally mean to throw Liam under the bus, but the bus came quickly.

So i meant it when i said that i truly like everyone in my tribe. I love the fact that trace is the first person I’ve ever played with that live(d) where i do. I’ve never met anyone from saint louis before and to be able to talk about the gay bars and the local colleges and areas is nice. I’ve seen his name way back when around the community. I think that it’s amazing, the casting this season so props to all you host. Bodhi is someone else who I’ve seen around plenty, but we’ve never had the pleasure to meet each other and he’s someone that I think is very intriguing. I know he’s a strong social player when it comes to brass tacks though so im a little nervous seeming him in the game. Isaac is someone who I’ve played with a handful times and it’s just weird? We have never targeted each other in the games we play but also have never actively worked together in a game. We usually just coexist and ended up on different sides because we had different friend circles in games past. Now if we go to tribal in this first round, then ideally one of those few people will go. Like I said I like everyone, but I need to make sure to play an active role this time, not so passive like last time. Autumn and I got an alliance together. Also, if I haven’t already praised the tumblr survivor gods that I get to play with m daughter, let me re-iterate that I am so ecstatic! Now I’m not going to put all my eggs in her basket, but I hope my connection with her can carry me through the first couple rounds of the game at least. We got an alliance together consisting of myself, herself, devon and scott. In my opinion, the key to a successful alliance is good communication and loyalty. I also want to work with people I have a genuine interest in. I think Scott is so adorable, and I can’t tell if it’s a façade or not but I’m getting along very well with him. Perhaps its just his strong social game kicking in. Regardless he’s someone that I like and is charismatic and optimistic, that’s the type of person I need on my side moving forward. He’ll be great for group morale and maybe he can snoop information out of others moving forward. As for Devon, he says he’s a very loyal player and he is from Guyana. I see him as someone that will hopefully be super loyal and perhaps even a bit naïve moving forward. I don’t know what I want my relationship with Autumn to be with like in this game. She could be my number one, but for anyone that knows us its possible we get targeted like natalie and Jeremy which I don’t want to happen. I really like our tribe and hope we can stay together as long as possible. What I want from this game is to play a strong game and still be liked by all my peers and of course try to win. My first time in the first quarter of seasons, I was brand new as fuck, fresh out the survivor pussy. I didn’t have any confidence or social skills and got booted first. My second season in the 2nd quarter, Lazio, was not a horrible game to play. The cast was trash though and not a well respected season. It was a weird twisted season, i didn’t like anybody on that season and went out in early jury, although I did make single digits. Last time I played was in the third quarter of ts seasons, playing in Bermuda. I played bc I wanted one last hurrah before taking a hiatus and I don’t mind playing in seasons hosted by Chris Stoner. It was revealed to be a 30 person and I wanted to quit after seeing that lol. I was a weak player on strong tribes during the first half of the game, and the few times I went to tribal I had enough relationships with people that I made it to the 15 person f*cking merge. Because I ghosted the first half of the game I wasn’t viewed as a threat but also wasn’t respected by players. I want to be respected for the game that I play this time whether it brings me to final tribal council or winds me up as the first boot. I came here to prove that I have the chops and can do it. I haven’t been voted out of a game in 2.5 years so if I do get eventually booted its going to sting hard lol. I hope to eventually see people like Dan and Ali get voted out before a swap hits but I bet ts gods will swap me onto a tribe with them both lol. Its just going to be awkward if I have to play with them. I’m willing to if I have to, but I def would prefer to just avoid the awkwardness if possible. In contrast I’m hoping people like Amir and Kendall perform well on their tribes because if possible, I already know I like them personally and would love to work with them later on in the game. I just thought about what I can rant on about for a 100 words. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS IDOL SEARCH!?!? IS IT LIKE ONLY OPEN FOR CERTAIN PARTS OF THE DAY? I LOOKED ALL AROUND THE BLOG AND CLICKING EVERY LINK I COULD FIND HOPING TO MAYBE RUN INTO THE IDOL HUNT. NO ONE HAS TOLD ME THE SECRET YET! IS IT ONLY OPEN ONCE A ROUND BETWEEN RESULTS AND TRIBAL? Oof I don’t want to lose. Losing to one tribe isn’t bad because its mutually exclusive, first and last. We don’t have to win 1st place, however we need to make sure we don’t come last. Getting first boot would suck eggs and I would end up getting a lower placement than my first time. Idk if anyone has gotten first boot twice, but I don’t want that distinction.

okay so my tribe is picking it UP in the end of this challenge, my king jakey suddenly has a full sheet which we love to see. in other news... im not feeling TJ's energy, he is kinda fishing about Montenegro and referencing that I won in a kinda threatening way? and i think he thinks he is being super discrete?! but he... is not. its just making me uncomfortable, like i am already really insecure as a player about being a winner and being seen as one, and i dont like what he is doing. also wanna preface this with the fact that he asked about montenegro in a super complimentary way so this is 100% an overreaction JKASDF im not trying to hide that im a winner (im not trace trying to FBI redact the wiki) but i don't like it being brought up in that kinda threatening/fishing way. like when jake talked to me (even tho he was vague too) about me being a winner, he said he thinks me, Jordan and jakey are the high profile people on the tribe (even tho i think i only am because im a winner, im a one time player and not super connected), which at least grouped us together and was in a discussion about working with that? so yeah... i think at this point i wanna stick with Jake/Jordan first and foremost, then Lovelis, then Dan... then Liam M/TJ are bottom of the totem pole for me, but particularly TJ that man can go soon... (also this is really gonna be a mo situation where tj said literally one thing and i dont trust him KJLASDF)

Wooooo cast assessments except I never watch anyone's intro videos so it's more like a cast reaction lmao

https://youtu.be/K3rfK-Cf-GQ

everytime tj starts typing my heart rate elevates by about 600bpm. literally how can someone be so complimentary and yet so terrifying simultaneously i'm nauseous also just as a side note he is probably being super nice and im just being demonic but we will see kjasdfa

okay so if this doesn't demonstrate im insane, im not sure what will. i take it back about TJ, i think he is actually nice JLKSADFAD. i think his way of relating to me was talking about past games and honestly thats kinda sweet i think i just read into things too much. maybe i do like TJ and want him to stick around NNN. maybe she's born with it, maybe its genuine insanity. but yeah TJ if you are reading this sorry for being the rudest ever over a compliment nnnn

I’m so sad that we lost because I don’t want to see any of these people go home and I don’t want to be first boot! lol. I’m also pissed now because I spent so much time doing stuff for nothing >.> it’s the game though, so we’ll keep trudging along i suppose. I don’t want to go home so let’s see what happens

#BackWithVengeance

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