#it didnt snow AS much last night

[clownbunnie]

When I had a mental health crisis, I put myself into a local place that served both addicts trying to get into rehabs that required prior detox/initial stability as well as those in mental crisis. I had told my interviewer that I did partake in a thc consumption every once in a while (illegal state) and so they put me on the addiction wing rather than the mental health wing- which was totally fine, I received great care no matter where they stuck me. But I was put into a room with an older black woman who never learned to read- she told me her background, the mental health issues she and her son struggled with, how it led to her addiction and now she was fighting to piece her life back together but she couldn't read. I was the only one who tried to help her, tried to help guide her along in the group therapy and group sessions- I even spent my free time hours with her, reading the stupid religious AA and NA packets despite being heavily not christian- The others there treated her like she was crazy, annoying, refusing to sit next to her so that she wouldn't ask them what certain things said, or where we were in our booklets- the staff tried to make everything as accessible as possible- often reading the packets word for word outloud for her, and even having presentations with more pictures, videos, and interactive material rather than just words upon words as they normally did. But it still wasn't fair, nurses didn't assist her with reading, they didn't have anyone to be an aid to her active disability that she stayed up a lot of nights crying about and I was the only one to help her actively so long as I could. I think of her often and wonder if she is okay.

When I was in rehab I had a roommate who was this little old black lady and she was completely blind. And I saw that and was like “anybody gonna be this lady’s guide?” And didn’t wait for an answer. I actually got in trouble for “perpetuating lesbianism” BECAUSE I WOULD LEAD HER BY THE FUCKIN HAND. And that was “”too gay for the program”” so I had to make sure she held my elbow instead and like. What really pissed me off is that she was not given aid whatsoever for her disability. It was fucking me doing her paperwork. I was able to help her sign her own name but I had to fill out all of her intake stuff and ask all these invasive ass demographic questions like don’t you motherfuckers have a guy for that??? I’m here trying to fucking recover too, not interrogate this poor woman with questions about whether or not she’s ever been raped or abused or whatever

[yosh-iro]

my eyes are getting swollen again :(

[the-record]

COWBOYS LIKE ME

SYNOPSIS: youll never stop letting her in.

PAIRING: cowboy!abby x reader

WARNINGS: none??

A/N: yall remember when i wrote some fics and made a ton of ideas and series and then disappeared??? WOOPS!! heres a little holiday present!! maybe there will be more, idk

my masterlist

after that last night, abby hadnt shown at your door again. she knew she was wrong for it, for everything. all you had done was love and care for her, treating her with sweet southern kindness. she hated herself for leaving you.

you couldn’t find it within your heart to hate her. she didn’t lie when she said it wasn’t safe for the two of you beyond the farm. it still didn’t make it hurt any less when she left without a word.

you gave up after three months and she didnt come by even once. you fell back into your regular routine. afternoon tea, church, chores. you even found a bookstore that would fill the quiet hours between tasks.

abby didn’t forget about you though, how could she? she had people all around town keeping an eye on you, ensuring you were never around danger. subtle misdirections and such. just because she couldn’t be there didn’t mean she doesn’t care.

you’d attempted to forget her, and almost had.

but it was cold and snowy out, just days before christmas, and abby found herself close to the only place she could call home.

you werent shocked to hear a knock ok your door so late in the evening, figuring one of the ladies had stopped by with news and a gift. but seeing her at your door stopped your heart.

“can i come in?” you ushered her in, taking in her shivering frame. “im really sorry if im putting you out, but could i stay here? just for a night if thats all you please.”

you nodded, just enough to see, still starstruck. she smiled softly and knocked you out of your state. you grabbed the snowy coat off her shoulders, helping her take off those boots you knew didnt do much in this cold. you pulled her to the fire place, setting her beside it and finding a blanket to wrap around her body.

she laughed as you sat beside her, just staring. “gotta love southern hospitality.” she joked, but you barely laughed. abby sighed and picked at her fingers, “i really am sorry. i feel i cant stop hurting you.”

you merely nodded before getting up. heading to the kitchen, your head clouded as you fell into routine. as you put the kettle on, you couldnt help but wonder why she was back on your doorstep. you didnt stop wondering even as you watched the tea steep, when you brought it back to the now warmer blonde.

but when you held it out to her, you didnt let go. “are you gonna leave again?” her silence was answer enough. your hand dropped and you turned, leaving for your room.

abby flinched when your door slammed.

her boots still sat beneath your bed, gathering dust, fingerprints still visible from the last time you missed her. you listened to her footsteps as your fingers brushed all over the shoes.

she roamed the kitchen, cleaning it the best she could before she made her way upstairs. abby didnt want to hurt you. she loved you, even if she struggled to say it. when she knocked she heard a quiet ‘come in’, yet she still hesitated at the door.

the door opened for her. you staring up at her blank face, a tear stain she wanted to wash away and never see again.

“i love you.”

when the sun streamed in the next morning, it didnt fall on just you. a weight slung over your stomach, one of abby’s arms dead weight across you. you couldn’t help but smile.

when it snowed again the next day, the bed was cold, but the house wasn’t. downstairs, abby had the fire going and breakfast on the stove for the both of you.

and when the sun shown and the birds sang months later, she laid in bed watching your peaceful sleep.

her cuts and bruises had long disappeared. that chill she had that made her shake, warmed. the emptiness she had felt for all those years, had been filled with love and care she yearned for her whole life.

she felt it when she saw you.

[misserabella]

hello! so this is kind of an angsty request: (set in jackson) reader and ellie have been together for a few years and it's obvious to everyone that ells in very protective of her.

reader had been helping in town way too much and ellie didnt like cause 1) there's other people that can help and 2) she didnt like her gf working at all. so, after a week or so reader is so tired and overworked that she just collapses, maybe even gets hurt and ellie sees everything from afar because she was coming back from patrol. she's very scared but also pissed that her gf was put in that situation, maria and tommy get an earful from her. joel was also mad and comforting her.

a/n; OMG YES THIS IS LOVELY! hope you like how it came out! <3

♡

The town had been a mess for the last few days, with the incoming anniversary of the town —something all of you took enough pride for to even celebrate it with a massive party—, there was a lot of work to do and lot of things to get ready for the day, and since you were so close to Maria and Tommy —they being part of the council and confiding too much on you—, they very often asked for your help, even if they were more people they could ask for just because they believed you’d do an impecable job.

“Oh, y/n, could you please go and ask Mr. Herring for more whiskey? I think we’re gonna need a couple more bottles.” Maria, who you were helping with the decoration of the salon, asked you. And you couldn’t say no. You wanted to help everyone with the party as much as possible, it was an important event, something all of you were looking for. For another successful year of survival, of life.

“Yeah, of course.” you smiled, even though you were completely worn and Herring’s house was a few blocks away.

“Thank you.” she said, and went back to cutting the little hanging triangles she had been working on all night. It was already Friday. Tomorrow was the anniversary. Everything had to be perfect.

You were exhausted, not for just a sleepless night, but a whole week of hard work.

You had helped with the farm on Monday, when Mrs. Evans had pouted at you, feeling lonely and with a lot eggs to collect and cows to milk for the bakery. Your hands still hurt.

On Tuesday, you had lended a hand to Mrs. Peters with her bakery, helping her fix some problem she had with her oven and, later on, helping her with the cakes for Friday night and her delivers for the day.

On Wednesday, you’d stayed all night awake with Maria to go over some much needed paperwork and radio discussions.

And on Thursday, you’d helped Tommy in the wood shop with some new benches and chairs he was making for the salon. You still felt the pain of the splinters on your fingers.

You couldn’t say no. You never could. ‘Cause these were your people and they had welcomed you with open arms when you had nothing. Now you had a family, friends, the most beautiful girlfriend and your own place to call home. You couldn’t be happier. But you sometimes needed to listen to your own body… And it was telling you to stop, to slow down.

The cold hit you like rocks, making you grit your teeth. You needed to get all the way back to the gates of the town to go find the bottles. Somehow, even though the snow was finally melting and it was easier to move , your feet seemed to feel heavier than most days. You felt lightheaded, and so tired that you felt you would fall asleep at any moment. But you had work to do, and people needed you, so you wouldn’t complain.

You were also feeling lonely, you hadn’t seen Ellie that much over the last few days, most of them her being fast asleep once you’d get home. She wasn’t happy about you working so much, she told you so everyday, begging you to stop and rest. But you’d promise her you were okay even if you weren’t.

You were starving with just a mere cup of coffee on your stomach. You hadn’t been eating much as well, being too occupied to even remember to do so. Ellie would kill your if she ever found out, thank god she was busy as well with her patrols with Joel.

The walk to Mr. Herring’s was exhausting, to say the least. You head was hurting and your eyes heavy. What you’d do for a warm bed right now and your pretty girlfriend...

“Oh, hey honey.” Mr. Herring, a very old and sweet man smiled at you.

“Hi, Mr. Herring.” you said back with the same smile. “Maria asks if it would be okay with you to get us a few more bottles of whiskey for the party…?”

“Oh why of course!” he said, waving his hand. “Love to share it. How many bottles will you need? Will three be okay?” he inquired and you nodded.

“Yeah, three will be perfect.” you smiled. “Thank you Mr. Herring.”

He disappeared for a few seconds under the bar to get the bottles, and a little wave of dizziness hit you, making you rest against the bar.

“You okay, honey?” Mr. Herring asked you with a concerned look, the bottles resting in front of you, gently placed on a bag.

“Yeah, just a little tired.” you smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Herring.” you said as you took the bag to make your way out the licor store.

“You’re welcome, honey! Take care, alright?” you nodded at him with a wave and went outside.

The gates were opening at your right, the patrol team coming back from their morning routes. That meant that Ellie was finally home, but a few steps and a quick turn of head was all it took to make your world start to spin. The sun hit your eyes and your head hurt, your vision going white. You felt the same dizziness that had hit you minutes ago. And to your right a voice came calling for you.

“y/n?” but you were too gone to answer to your girlfriend, who was looking at you with a concerned look beside Shimmer.

Your world turned upside down and your head sunk under the pressure of gravity as your vision turned black and your legs wobbled. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw you fall onto the snow, the sound of crashing glass beside you catching the attention of those surrounding you. Joel was quick to follow to meet you unconscious body, one of the bottles having shattered and cut your forehead, painting your skin and the snow in crimson.

“y/n? y/n!” her voice was laced with panic as she shook your shoulder, trying to make you respond.

She was quick to grab you in between her arms and carry you to Maria’s house, who welcomed you with the same panicked expression.

“What happened?” Tommy inquired as Ellie softly laid you on one of their spare beds, Maria quickly grabbing the first aid kit.

“She fucking passed out!” Ellie screamed, panicked. “And of course she did! You’ve overworked her!” she pointed at Maria. Ellie loved her. She really did. But she loved you too, more than she could handle. And she cared for you, worried for you.

“Ellie…” Joel tried and stop her, ‘cause she knew how overprotective Ellie was over the ones she truly loved, over you.

“No. You know it’s true Joel. They have been overworking her this whole fucking week, even if there are other people that could do it, they always ask her!” she was angry, and very worried. You looked exhausted, as pale as a ghost.

Tommy and Maria gave Ellie a saddened look as Maria cleaned your wound. Ellie had checked. There were no other cuts. Just that deep slash on your forehead. It was still bleeding. She was sure it’ll need stitches.

Joel fell silent, all of them were, ‘cause they all knew it was true.

“You know she loves you, that’s why she can’t say no to you. But there are more people out there willing to help, she doesn’t have to do everything, fuck!” she exasperatedly dragged her hands over her face.

That’s when you slowly started to come back to consciousness, the cut on your forehead making you hiss in pain as you opened your eyes.

“Baby?” you heard Ellie’s voice, and in a mere seconds she was right beside you, one of her hands reaching for your cheek, her eyes focused on you and her eyes brows were furrowed on worry.

“How are you feeling, y/n?” Maria inquired and you look at her, she too looked worried.

“What happened?” you inquired as Ellie slowly help you sat up. You still felt heavy with sleep.

“You collapsed, that’s what fucking happened.” Ellie says and when you look at her, you see her anger under all her worry.

“Ellie…” she shook her head. “I’m sorry baby.” you whispered and you saw her melt, her eyes saddening.

“You scared me to death, you know? Seeing you there, bleeding and unconscious on the floor…” you hugged her, and she holds you gently, Maria pulling away to let you two be. Tommy and Maria leave Joel, you and Ellie alone, knowing you three needed to talk and close the door to the room behind their back.

Joel took the first-aid kit and sat down beside you.

“You’ll need a few stitches, kid.” he said and you nodded. He too looked sickly worried. “You need to say no every now and then, y/n… You can say no.” he said, a warm hand on your shoulder.

“I know. I’m sorry.” he nodded and gently rubbed your back.

“It’s okay. Just…, take care of yourself, alright?“ then it was you who nodded.

Ellie sighs, and you held her hand when she let go of you and you hissed when Joel poured alcohol on the cut to start stitching it up. She rubbed the back of your hand with her thumb, and sat through it all with you, making sure to get you back to your shared apartment and into bed.

She held you all afternoon, all night. And when the morning came, she held you tighter. It was clear that she didn’t let you go to that party, instead putting a good film and making you two something to eat.

It was clear she loved you. And even more that you loved her too.

xxx

ellie williams masterlist! <3

[nylwnder]

three years and counting

a/n: hiii sweets!! i'm sorry for making such a delay in the last half of this series, with the playoffs and the offseason’s shenanigans, i haven't been able to find a proper writing groove so bare with me. i hope you guys enjoy this part! i tried to lean on the fluffier/cutesy side for balance and also since i love me some soft mo! kisses xx

pairing: morgan rielly x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT, dry humping, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, use of lingerie, fluffy in the beginning, “food fight”, honestly just some cute soft sex w mo

word count: 2.6k

taglist: @shoot-the-puck, @11livpangburn, @eastoncowan, @boqvistsbabe, @sweetiet, @p1tstop, @occasionallyaurora, @laurenairay, @fallinallincurls, @andrea9, @biznastysloneshift12

series masterpost

the city sprinkled with snow, the last bits before winter’s goodbye. the steam from the kitchen fogging up the windows and the apartment smelling of pesto and pasta. the warm lighting only makes the atmosphere even more cosy and pleasant.

you head over to the window to look down. the food is almost done and morgan should be due any minute now. before you head to your bedroom you instinctively draw hearts against the fog with your finger on the glass with a smile.

it was your three year anniversary a couple of days ago, but since morgan was on a road trip for a week, you could only spend the day chatting on facetime waiting till he took the plane back to toronto.

luckily he won that night, and you were beaming just like you were earlier in the afternoon when you received the most beautiful lace dress in the mail with a bouquet of flowers. but little does morgan know you also have a gift for him when he gets home.

standing in front of the mirror, you fixed the dress before making sure your makeup didn’t smudge while you were cooking the last part of the pasta. then the lock clicked and the door followed open, you smiled.

“im home, honey”

you walked out of the bedroom, “welcome back soldier” you joked, even though you must admit the past week felt like years for you.

morgan’s eyes lit up, his hand dropping his equipment bag and welcoming your figure in his arms. you wrapped your own arms around him, sinking in the smell of his sweet cologne, mint from his gum and coffee. your body eased.

“you're so beautiful,” he says, as you step back enough for him to appreciate how you look. his hands are stuck on your hips as you smile. “thank you! i love it so much, morgan.”

he smiles in response, kissing you softly before you bring him into the dining area. he hums at the smell of dinner. “since we couldn't be together on our anniversary, i figured we can have our special dinner together, tonight. i cooked our favourite!”

you grab two plates from the cabinet and set them down on the table, “and i didnt want to drag you out to eat since you've been on the road for so long.” you mention.

“all that matters is that i spend it with you.” morgan says, reaching you for another hug.

“i'll serve while you clean yourself up if you want, but keep the suit on!” you say as morgan nodded.

he would have done whatever you wanted. whether it was a dinner out despite the fact his body felt a bit achy and tired, or stay at home like the two of you will do. even if he's dressed in his suit, the way you look in that dress makes it so worth it. he feels all the more better with each passing gaze at you.

you serve the pasta carefully, trying to have a little masterchef moment with the way you decorated and cleaned the plate. making sure to sprinkle cheese on the top, a bit more on morgan’s just like he always likes.

you both sit down at the table and begin eating, you can't help but giggle at how much your boyfriend enjoys the meal. he returns the giggle, shyly apologising. “no, i'm happy you like it. that is the point, mo.” you respond with a smile.

after talking about the team’s road trip shenanigans and the own shenanigans you had to deal with this week, amongst other things, you finished the meal before you two knew it. morgan helped place the plates in the sink with the other pots and pans.

you reach to grab small bowls from the cabinets once again in order to serve the dessert you half made, half store-bought. you felt his breath hover over your neck by the sink, kissing you ever so softly below your jaw. your hands seeked him, for his own hands to wrap around your waist and your body.

they did, one arm holding your body closer to his. though, mo’s intrusive thoughts led his free hand to reach for the icing you had freshly whipped up earlier. he dabbed his finger into the container, making sure to catch your nose with his iced finger when you slightly turned back towards his direction.

“morgan!” you playfully shouted, turning around to show your dismay. your boyfriend laughed as he took another scoop with his finger to his mouth. “its really good though.” he mentions, licking his fingers clean.

you repeat the same lighthearted play, making sure to get two lines on his cheeks and on top of his nose. he let you, in all fairness, get your own move back. but just as he was going to go back in the icing you duck and move behind him. squealing and laughing as he chases you around the island and dining table.

you quickly grab the chocolate sauce bottle and threaten to use it against him as you stand on opposite ends of the counter.

“i really want to use it so do not tempt me.”

“i dare you.” he says with a smile. you share one back to him, knowing you could easily get him covered in the—although delicious—sticky substance. he could easily buy another suit. but then you’d feel bad, so you opt away from the fun idea.

“no! im a better person than that.” you mention, moving towards the counter and setting the so-called weapon down.

morgan scoffs, and you shoot him a look. “i mean it! i respect the quality of your suit, it would be offensive to your suit dealer-person-man. and i don't want it spilling on my dress either.”

the man laughs in front of you and appears to agree with you, licking the frosting off his fingers once again. you subtly stare at his action before originally planning to move back to finish what you were doing.

or so you thought. but morgan’s figure still made his way back to yours, body close. his hand parting your hair, his head fit in the crook of your neck before his hands moved down. lingering in the places you love the most. your lips ached for a kiss, and morgan felt the same.

“morgan” you whisper, he hums in response.

“what do you want, love?” he asks gently, his voice low.

you turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting your lips connect with his own. the kiss was a little more needy than usual, as you give him a small pout when he breaks it.

“i missed you so much ” he sighed on your lips.

“i missed you too” you whispered back. your fingers needingly gripping the nape of his neck.

after being together for three years you were used to the long road trips, or rather you forced yourself to get used to them. but oftentimes it felt lonely and you missed morgan. you missed his voice and his smile, his laugh and his jokes, his arms and chest and his carefully calculated and perfectly executed touch and butterfly-inducing kisses and his love that he would share with you selflessly and endlessly.

is it such a bad thing you love your boyfriend so fucking much that being apart for five days and four nights feels so cruel?

morgan seemed to share the same sentiment as he carried your figure to the bedroom with ease. you stood in front of him, your newly gifted dress threatening to fall down as his hand unzipped the back. mo made his way down to his knees, his eyes looking at yours. he tugged at the hem and the material slipped off your body. he carefully threw it to the side, falling on the dresser.

he looked up to admire you in full glory, his eyes guided by your every curve. the smile on his face made you realise you picked the right lingerie set from the store.

his hands went up your stockings, softly tugging at your little garters around your thighs before moving upward and letting his fingers graze the thin and delicate material covering your core. his hands then moved to lightly squeeze the sides of your breast, the lace and mesh still allowing your nipples to appear through the fabric. mo licked his lips.

“my god, you’re heavenly.” morgan says, looking back up at your eyes, moving to plant a kiss at your core. it was delicate and gentle but his nose bumped perfectly into your clothed cunt and you couldn't hold back the small whimper from your lips. or the blush peeking through your cheeks.

you tugged him by the hair, a signal you want him back up to his feet. he obliged, moving to kiss your cheek before trailing down to kiss on the crook of your neck. his tongue drew a trail down your neck to your collarbone, sucking on a sensitive spot. you bite your lip as you place one of your hands onto his chest while the other trailed up to his hair.

the ice cream long abandoned on the counter now—melting.

morgan turns the two of you around, allowing him to sit on the bed as you follow him, straddling his lap. your hands push off his suit jacket, throwing it wherever the dress ended up on. your lips then connect with his, kissing and kissing and kissing.

it didn't take long to feel a bulge grow in mo’s lap, and instinctively you grind down on it earning a deep moan from your boyfriend. his lips moved to nip at the tops of your breasts while his big hands began kneading your ass.

your fingers swiftly undo his dress pants tugging down at them, morgan assisting in the process. you needingly palmed him through his boxers before kissing his neck in return.

“oh fuck,” he softly curses, the end of the word high pitch and breathy.

you yank down his boxers, freeing his needy cock. god did you miss it. you carry on grinding your clothed cunt against him, feeling him swell more and more. his breathing slowly quickened and he tried to hide it, trying to muffle it against the hot skin of your neck but it’s no use. you loved it. you wanted to hear it.

his fingers moved in between your thighs, cuping your pussy and feeling your growing eagerness through the thin material of your panties. he pushes the undergarment aside, letting his thick digits slide in with ease. you moan, moving to kiss his lips as he slowly pumps in and out, trying to find that sensitive spot inside of you.

the wet sounds from your cunt were driving you mad, making you unceasingly whine as morgan kept up his assault. without any warning he hit it, his long fingers pressing hard on that perfect part inside of you. you bite down on his neck before soothing it with your tongue, feeling a bit guilty.

mo didnt mind picking up a few love marks after a homecoming like this. it just goes to show that he did his work right.

your fingers held a good grip on his curls, feeling a delicious wash of euphoria forthcoming. just as your hips buck, morgan stops his actions altogether. you protested with a needy whine.

“s’alright” morgan coos as he lifts your body up, parting your underwear again in order to slip himself in.

“god,” you gasp, clenching as the head of his cock pushes into your pussy. the side of his face comes into view, and he moves to kiss the underside of your jaw. you sit down, taking him all in.

a shiver is sent down your spine. morgan keeps his lips connected to your neck as you pulse and clench around him, rocking your hips. it doesn’t take much longer before that same creeping feeling appears in your body again, and before you know it mo is holding you close as you cry out in pleasure.

your breathing heavy, you can feel morgan’s smile on your cheek soothing you. “that’s my beautiful girl. s’good”

you can’t help but smile in return, wrapping your arms tighter around his neck, your hands folding up to play with his hair. his cock still hugged by your warm wet walls.

his mouth moves to kiss along your clavicle while his fingers unhook your bra, forcing your tits to spill out. gently taking it off and placing it somewhere on the floor, his hands ghosted over your sides, finding their way to your breasts. your back arched, pushing your breasts further into his hands.

“god i love you” you softly cry, feeling yourself clench around his length again.

“i love you more, angel.” morgan voices against your lips. his hands move down to your hips as he takes you both to lay down on the bed. you feel the emptiness as he accidentally slips out of you due to his movements.

he lays to his side, making you mimic his actions. his arm drapes over your body and pulls you close to him. your perked up nipples rubbing against his chest hair—a hum escaping your lips. you drape your leg over his own, as morgan leans in for a kiss. his hand guiding his thick length back into your entrance and slowly pushing himself in.

a low grunt escaped his throat, and your lips were quick to envelop his again. he began to thrust into you, his hand rubbing up your thigh and squeezing your ass. morgan kept his motions slow at the beginning and steadily began to pick up the pace as his own eagerness kicked in. making sure your leg was hooked nicely around his torso in order to guarantee hearing your sweet moans in his ear.

his cock is perfectly hitting the bundle of nerves inside of you. mo presses his forehead to yours as you clench around him, making him moan in sync with you. "fuck i missed your pussy so much" morgan whimpers as you feel his cock pulse inside of you.

“she’s all yours. three years and counting” you whine back to him. your fingers finding their home in between the strands of his hair.

he grunts in return. holding your body in place as the lewd sounds of your act begin to echo further throughout the apartment.

“s’close” you moan.

“i got you, honey” he replies, “think you can ride it out, baby?”

you nod, pushing morgan’s body in order to straddle his lap again. you are quick to begin swaying your hips, aiming to hit every possible angle to drive you to the edge.

“yeah just like that” morgan says with a smile, admiring the way your boobs move with your actions.

not far after, the tremble in your legs begins to travel all over your body. your eyes shutting as your mouth sits agape, pleasure consuming you. morgan sits up, sharing the same noises as you as his grip on your hips helps keep you grounded.

once the high wanes, morgan holds you tight as your body goes limp in his embrace. you’d die here if you could, in his arms wrapped around you, in the comfort of his kisses and his voice in your ear telling you how much he loves you. you can't help but smile and feel ever grateful.

“definitely makes up for the agonisingly long road trip.” you mutter as your body relaxes into his warmth.

“its our three year anniversary, honey. i’m not done with you” morgan says back, a smirk appearing on his face as his finger pulls on your stockings, letting them snap back onto your skin once he lets go. “need some more time with you,”

he kisses your nose, his mouth still capable of tasting the icing that was once smudged at the tip of it. “sweet girl.” he mutters.

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[seungmonggg]

HEAVENLY - HAN JISUNG

wc: 3300

summary: Han Jisung was an angel. You hated his guts, at least thats what you always thought, but what would happen if you got snowed in with him for a night?

CONTENT WARNING: SMUT; p in v, reader is a female, unprotected sex (seriously, don't do that.), han is a little crybaby, sub!han, dom!reader, reader is a bit of a meanie and a psycho in the beginning, kind of open end?

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE! NOT PROOFREAD YET!

Han Jisung was an Angel. At least thats what you liked to call him. He had this really bright, gummy smile that could light up the whole room as soon as he stepped into it. Han always liked to help others, either with Homework or personal problems, he never said no if getting asked to help. He was the smartest Kid in school, and he knew that. Always getting good grades, always being the teachers favorite student, no matter what.

Fuck, you hated his guts. He was so effortlessly perfect, always smiling and laughing. What the fuck was there to be happy about every day? You were a pretty quiet girl, not liking too much attention, never ever talking in class and nearly always getting bad grades. Jisung was the excact opposite, maybe thats why you hated him so much.

Hate was a big word, maybe you didnt really hate him, you just really badly wanted to fuck him. But you often thought that his nice face and happy aura was all a mask so nobody could see the real him. Noone is just born as perfect as he pretends to be. Sometimes you sit in class, the very last row, where you can perfectly stare at him without anyone noticing. At times like that you think of how you could discover the real Jisung. Your dark, twisted and filthy mind screams at you to break him, make him cry, open up his mind layer by layer.

Maybe you really were a psycopath, at least thats what your best friend, minho, liked to call you. He was friends with Jisung since childhood and always insisted on him being a really good guy. „He'd never do any Harm, believe me.“ you'd always scoff at that, not believing anything pouring ot of that mans mouth.

Thats exactly why you came up with a plan. A plan on how to get closer to Jisung without him getting too suspicous of your sudden nice personality. Exams were gonna start soon and as you walked up to Han with the Question you prepared burning on your tounge, you swallowed. What if he just says no? Fuck it, its too late to turn back now. So you walk up to him and make yourself known by tapping him on the shoulder, he turns around and looks a little pale all of a sudden, What? Did you look that bad? You put on extra nice clothes and even put your hair up into a ponytail so he could see your eyes better.

„Y-Y/N? H-Hi.... um.. c-can i help you with something?“

was he nervous to talk to you, or what was his problem? God he was really annoying you right now, but you decided to cover your annoyance up with the fakest, brightest smile you could muster.

„Hey, Jisung! Sorry to bother you, but uh.. do you have a study partner? Its just that i sometimes see you in the library studying by yourself and i thought it'd be nice to study together, you know, help each other maybe?“

you looked up at him with hoping eyes and that same sweet smile plastered onto your face. The Man in front of you turned paniced, breath slightly quickening and face getting a little red. Nobody else could have seen it, but you followed his every move, like a predator stalking its prey. Han Jisung was your prey.

„Oh, wow. I-I never thought t-that you even knew my name...“

is he making fun of you or is he dead serious right now? How could you not know who he was? He was the most popular guy in college.

„Of course i know who you are!“ you slightly laughed at his baffeled face. „So, about my propose... what do you say?“ you raised an eyebrow as you stared into his eyes.

Jisungs head was in the clouds. He never thought youd willingly talk to him. You, the shy, quiet Girl from most of his classes.The Girl he'd always look at in the hallways when noone could see. Your instagram pictures saved in a folder deep inside his phone only for him to see.

Some might think that he's crazy, obsessed even. Maybe he is, but in his head all he can think is that youre his one true love. He immediatly fell in love with you at first sight. First day of college when someone threw a little party to get everyone to know eachother. When he saw you coming in with Minho right behin you he nearly fainted. Maybe he could get to know you through Minho.

That turned out to be the wrong way, Minho immediatly told him that yoou were off limits. He said you were „differrent“ and not easy to get close to. Jisung stopped his advances the first time you two talked. Or, he talked and you stared at him like he stole your favorite plushie and burned it. What? Wasn't he smiling bright enough? Normally that worked on everyone he met. Maybe he needed to joke around more and try to make you laugh to win you over?

That was the wrong choice as you looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights as you turned around and walked aways fastly. Ever since that day you didnt like him. You immediatly saw trough his facade, saw his eyes not light up as bright as his smile. You thought it was weird of him to put on that fake smile, who was he trying to impress? You for sure weren't impressed.

„Jisung? Han Jisung!“ He awoke from his thoughts as you waved your hand in front of his face. He turned a deep shade of red and coughed a little in embarassment.

„Yeah, uh.. sorry about that... But y-yeah, i would really like to s-study with you.“ Why was he stuttering like a moron? God, this was really embarassing. He would like the earth to split open and swallow him whole in that moment. How was he supposed to work with you at the same table as him?

This was hard. Really hard. Trying to keep up the act of the sweet girl in front of him for over a month and fake laughing at every stupid joke he made to impress you. But at least you got what you wanted as he invited you over to his place for yet another study session. This was your chance, you thought. Your chance to finally look into his home, into him. You couldnt wait to finally solve the mistery that was han jisung.

As you knocked on his front door, slightly shaking from the cold airin seoul, you thought about your game pkan. How were you going to get into his head? How could you get him to open up to you? Your train of thougt was interrupted by him opening the frontdoor and smiling brightly at you, as always.

„Hey Y/N! Come on in, i already prepared some smnacks and drinks for us!“ he seemed pretty happy, which was good because it meant he felt comfortable around you.

You quickly nodded and stepped past him into his warm, and welcoming home. Everything was pretty cozy, well cleaned and organized. Weird, you always thought he was a kind of chaotic type, considering his way of speech was always pretty fast and he seemed too loud, too funny to focus on things like cleaning his flat.

Maybe that was the first red flag you should have seen. Why was his home this organized when his whole personality wasn't? As you two studied and talking deep into the night you learned a lot more about him than you thought you would.

You glanced at your phone and sighed, you had to get going. But deep down you knew you didn't really want to. You wanted to know more about him, about his life. He was never like this when you saw him in college. This calm, collected and controlled.

„I probably should get going now, its getting pretty late and i don't want to keep you up too long..“ You said as you started to pack all of your things into your backpack.

„no worries, i'd stay up late either way, i still haven't looked at yo-“ he stopped himself, fuck he nearly said the wrong thing. He lost focus for one second and almost told you about him looking at your pictures, your little webcam on your laptop that you always forgot to turn off before heading to bed...

„Sorry, i meant i still haven't learned enough..“ he quickly said as to not get you suspicous of him. He could'nt scare you away yet. He wasnt ready to let you go that fast. He needed more of you, needed more time to really get to know you, inside and out.

You obviously didn't know he was always looking for you in every crowded room, always standing close to you, hoping to get close enough so he was able to smell you coconut scented shampoo. Fuck it drew him crazy, he could imagine you laying sprawled under him, your hair messy, your bodies sweating against each other as he fucked you dumb. He needed you like oxygen, he was crazy after you, couldn't get enough. Nothing, noone could stop him, not even you.

As you made your way to his frontdoor you glanced outside only to see that it ha snowed a lot while you were here. „Oh fuck..“ you muttered as you couldn't believe how much snow had come down in only a couple of hours.

„Wha-? Oh... shit, you're walking home, right? I can't let you go in a snow storm like this...“ he said as he looked down at you, inside of him he was jumping around, already starting to get hard at the thought of you sleeping on his bed. „Uh... you could stay over if you want to.. i can sleep on the couch and you sleep on the bed..“ he told you in a hurry.

You looked up at him and outside again, it would really be a dumb idea to walk home in this weather.. you couldn't even see further than two meters. You sighed as you turned back to him. „If i really stay over i don't want you sleeping on the couch because of me...“

„If it doesn't bother you, we'll just both sleep on my bed.“

„No worries, i won't do anythingweird..“ he added. The jisung inside his head laughing at what he was saying, of course he was going to stare at your beautiful face all night...

You seemed to think about his idea and finally nodded at him as you dropped your backpack back to the floor. „Alright, can i wash up in your bathroom?“ He immediatlynodded at your question and showed you to his bathroom. As you closed the door behind yourself, this was getting ridicolous, how would you be able to resist him when you were together all night?

You breathed out as you looked at yourself in the mirror. At least you had dressed up nicely tonight, just for him. You even did your hair and as you undressed you remembered you even put on you best pair of underwear tonight. Fuck, you really were prepared if anything would happen tonight.

After taking a quick shower and putting your panties on you realised you didn't even have anything to sleep in. „Shit..“ you quietly muttered to yourself as you considered asking him for clothes... but maybe.. maybe this was the perfect chance to tease him, maybe you could get him to crack if you walked out of this bathroom in just this towel.

You smiled at your reflection and opened the door as you confidently stepped out into his bedroom. „Jisung?“ you said.

Jisung looked up at you and nearly pissed himself at your sight. Holy fuck, was this really happening or was he already dreaming about you? He snapped himself out of his haze as he let out a small noise for you to know he was listenign to what you were saying.

„ Do you maybe have a shirt i could sleep in? I didn't think i'd stay over so i didn't bring any clothes..“ Rhe man in front of you sputtered as he got up onto his feet as fast as he could to go over to his wardrobe and pull out a shirt for you to wear, „Yeah, of course, take this..“

You thanked him as you went back into the bathroom to change into the shirt. It was mid-thigh length, which was perfect to tease him. You already got the reaction you wanted when you wlaked into his room again, his cheeks turned red and he looked like he was going to explode any second now. You put on a worried look as you stepped closer.

„Jisungie? Are you alright?“ you cringed inside as you called him that stupid name, maybe he wouldn't like that?

„Oh holy fuck call me that again...“ he groaned as if he was in pain and as you looked down you saw a growing tent in his pants. You started grinning like crazy and looked back up to his eyes.

„Aww, are you getting hard because you saw a bit of my skin? What are you, a fucking pervert?“ you spit out as you slowly felt yourself getting wet at the thought of him being aroused because of you.

„W-what? I-i'm not i-i swear...“ he stuttered as he put up his hand in front of him. His eyes turning glassy and slightly blown out, exactly the reaction you wanted. You knew it, you fucking knew he wasn't just a nice guy. You knew he was as sick and twisted as you were. You laughed out lough.

„holy shit, you like me talking to you like that? You like when women put you in your place?“ you grabbed his chin and made him look up at you. He whined and nodded quickly, trying to blink away the tears of humiliation that started to form on his waterline.

You grinned as your other hand squeezed his thigh and he whimpered at your harsh touch. „Say it. Say you want me to fuck you.“ you spit in his face as you stared intensly at him.

„I-I want it so bad, you don't even know how much i need it..“ he whispered the last part, but you heard him loud and clear. Fuck , you were going to ruin him.

You pushed him back by the chest and made quick work of ripping his shirt off before climbing onto his lap and softly grinding on his now fully erect cock, making him moan out loud. „Please!“ he almost whailed.

You cooed at him, seeing him get antsy and touching you all over. If you were going to tease him any further he was for sure blow soon. „Aww, are you already getting close from just a little touching, jisungie? You need me to fuck you right now?“ you softly spoke against his ear to which he whined and you felt his cock twitch against your core.

„Y-Yes.. need it now.. please.“

„Well how could i deny you if you ask that nicely..“ you said as you pulled his shirt over your head and connected your lips in a first kiss. The kiss was messy and wet, filthy with all of that spit coming out of his mouth. He couldn't help but drool at the thought of getting to finally be inside of you after waiting for all this time.

You made quick work of his sweatpants and shortly after realised he wasn't even wearing any boxershorts underneath. „So needy for me, you didn't even put on underwear, huh babyboy?“ he moaned loudly at that petname, not even caring if anyone would hear him. All that mattered was you sitting on top of him, ready to fuck him into oblivion.

He shook his hand as he pulled at your panties impatiently. „O-Off... please“ you giggled at his already fuicked out speeck, his blown out pupils, looking up at you so beggingly. You decided against teasing him any further, as you were also getting impatient. You pulled your panties off ans xou grabbed his dick and spit right onto the tip, making him shudder and let out a noice like he was sobbing.

You pumped him a few times to spread the slick of your spit and positioned yourself over his cockhead. „You ready for me, baby?“ you cooed at him nodding and muttering a series of pleas under his breath.

As you sunk down on him you enjoyed the stretch on the way down, while han was quietly sobbing into is arm, too embarassed to let you see him like that. You pulled his arm away as you finally were completely filled out by him. „Need to see your face baby, gonna treat you so well.“ You muttered to him and left a slow and soft kiss on his lips, a stark contrast to the way you were talking to him before.

But seeing him look like that made you soften up a bit, wanting to take care of him and baby him until he was ruined for anyone else and sobbing from the pleasure you were giving him. You slowly started rocking your hips against him and looked for any sign of discomfort in him. When you didn't find any, you started fully bouncing on top of him, making him nearly scream out from the pleasure he felt.

Jisung was full on crying now, shamelessly grabbing on your tits and littering your neck in messy, wet kisses and hickeys. No matter how fucked out he already was, he still wanted to mark you, making anyone in college see you had someone to fuck. „Gon-gonna c-cum too fast! AH!“ he moaned out and shut his eyes tightly to focus on the band in his belly.

He was already on the verge of cumming so you started rubbing tight circles on your clit. „O-Okay.. fuck, i'm going to cum too!“ you finally moaned out as your movements got messy and uncoordinated. Luckily Jisung saw that you were running out of breath and quickly grabbed your thighs whit his strong hands as he held you up to fuck up into you at an ungodly pace that was makíng you see stars.

Fast and hushed praises were raining from your lips and when you looked down at his tear stained, concentrated face the band in you finally snapped, making you cum harder than you have ever before. You cumming on top of him made him finally let go too, moaning your name loudly as he came into you.

As you laid against his chest, letting him cum and cum and cum into you, you steadied your breathing slowly. „That was the best sex i ever had.“ he whispered, completly spent under you.

„Uh-Huh.“ you just said as you closed your eyes and cuddled up to him.

You vaguely remember him cleaning you and putting the blanket over you before drifting off into a deep sleep.

Maybe Han Jisung wasn't as bad as you thought he would be, maybe he was just a loud and awkward guy, but you now were sure that you indeed didn't hate him, you liked him.

[theloveoftoms]

its alright - e. hunt x reader

summary: while staying over at your boyfriends house, you get your period. basically just ethan hunt being the gorgeous and perfect and comforting guy that he is.

t.w: periods, if that grosses you out, this probably isn the fic for you 🙄

a/n: hello lovlies!! I hope your all having a great day, and thank you so much for clicking on this post! it is seriously so cold where I live, there is snow and it feels kinda like Christmas🎅 the grammar in this is probably whack, thats because Im trying to write a history essay right now and all of my 'grammar-ly thoughts' are going into that. sooooo, enjoy whatever this story is! ✌️😚

Last night was the first time you had stayed over at your boyfriend, Ethan's house. Now of course you had slept over before, but last night was the very first time that the two of you had actually orchestrated plans for you to stay over. Instead of scavenging his bathroom cupboards for an extra toothbrush or some form of cleanser that wasn't a 3 in 1 wash for face, hair, body, groin, feet and lord knows what else, you had packed all of your cosmetics and a comfy pair of pjs to sleep in. However, you didn't exactly wear the pyjamas for very long upon your arrival.

When you woke up, it took you a moment to realize where you were. The feeling of Ethan's arm wrapped loosely around your waist and the sun filtering through the blinds in the way similar to that of a Monet painting reassured your busy mind as the memories from last night played over in your head. Fall was in full bloom outside, and you felt warm and safe beneath the covers. That is, until you moved from your side onto your back.

As you pivoted beneath the sheets you felt a unwanted but yet familiar gush in-between your thighs. Your heart rate began to rise, and the pit of your stomach began to sink as you noticed the damp sensation in your underwear. You slowly pulled back the sheets, shimming your hips up, revealing a red spot from where you had been sleeping. Sure the spot was small, but it still was a stain of blood in your boyfriend's light grey bedsheets.

You rolled your eyes, just great.

So confidently, you had slept in only your panties and one of Ethan's t-shirts, which had hit just below your waist. The one time you didnt actually sleep in a pair of cheap ratty Walmart sweatpants is the time when miss flo decided to pay a visit.

You cursed silently as you brought yourself up, sitting vertically in bed.

On the chair in the corner lay your small duffel with your belongings. You would rise from bed, grab a change of clothes, and head into the bathroom and change. After in a fresh pair of panties and a new oversized t-shirt courtesy of Ethan, you would crawl back into bed and pretend that this all was a dream. The only problem, was the bed sheets. What the hell were you going to do about those?

It seemed, the moment you thought about how to keep Ethan sleeping and somehow remove the soaked sheet, Ethan was already stirring. "y/n?" he mumbled, barely awake, his green eyes meeting with the sun for the first time today.

You ran a hand through his messy brown hair, reassuring him of your presence, "Shhh," you hushed him, in a tone that was somehow quieter than a whisper, "go back to sleep."

Ethan blinked a couple of times before bringing his eyes up to yours. "What's wrong?" he asked, perhaps noticing the sheets pulled around your waist or the worried look in your eyes. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, tugging the sheets up, "I got my period," you replied, saying that last work as if it were a curse. Even saying it made you want to crawl away and pretend like you didn't just leave a notable mark on your boyfriends pressed linen sheets.

You were so embarrassed. Yeah, of course Ethan knew you had a period, you were a woman of a certain age after all, but it was never something the two of you had ever really discussed before. Sure, in passing you might have companied about your cramps, or asked him to come lay on the couch with you, but you never had openly talked about it with him before, and for some reason, this made you nervous.

You brought your hands up to your face, rubbing them over your eyes in embarrassment. You felt so humiliated.

"Hey," Ethan said reassuringly, sitting up, reaching for your hands, lulling them down from your eyes, "its okay y/n. It's all natural."

You shook your head, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" he asked, propping himself up on one of the pillows.

"A change of clothes?" he offered, "I can drive to Walgreens and pick up some pads if you need?"

You nodded, taking a hold of Ethan's hand, "That would be really nice Ethan," you said, offering him a gentle smile, "but thats not what I'm worried about."

Running a hand though his hair in the nonchalant way he always seemed to, "what is it then?" He spoke softly.

"I kinda leaked onto your sheets," you said, embarrassed, "Do you have a change?"

Ethan nodded, but before he could speak, you interjected, "I'm so sorry Ethan. This isn't how I wanted my first real time over here to end up."

Ethan took your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to press a featherlight kiss on the back of your palm, "Waking up next to you is all I ever wanted," he spoke softly, "and I got to do that today y/n."

"So please," he begun gently, "let me help you."

"Go hop in the shower, change into one of my t-shirts and by the time you're done, the sheets will be changed and I will be back with some things from the pharmacy."

You looked up, finally meeting his gaze, "Ethan," you cooed, "what did I ever do to deserve you?"

...

So you did as Ethan wished. You showered, changed into his navy blue t-shirt that always seemed to bring out his eyes, and when you were done blowdrying your hair, Ethan was back with a whole bag of items.

"I wasn't too sure what to get," Ethan smiled, handing you a grocery bag that seemed to have perhaps a bit too much in it, "so I just got it all."

Sitting up in the chair opposite of the island, you peered into the bag, pulling out not one but three packs of pads and one case of tampons. Oh, and also, there was a heating pack, Tylenol, a small stuffed dog with eyes smilier to the colour of Ethan's, and enough candy and sweets for three months of time. You laughed whole heartedly, "Ethan," you smiled, pulling your boyfriend in by the collar of his jacket, "You're the best."

Ethan planted a kiss on your forehead, "Only for you."

[mail-me-a-snail]

kicking my legs in the air. tell us more abt silvervance i am fascinated with whatever they've got going on

i mean. god where do i even begin.

so first off there's their main tag where i put all the posts that even vaguely remind me of them............like there are posts in there i would not show to my irls let alone god.

anyway. silvervance is the ship ever. they're both products of arasaka's influence, whether thru their own free will (in vance's case, or so he'd like to believe) or otherwise (in johnny's, vis-a-vis his eponymous prosthetic arm). they both manufactured their identities for an audience wider than themselves. they both recognize this similarity between them.

when vance came back 2 life with johnny in his head, he saw himself in johnny and he didnt like what he saw.

but as u know, in game canon, vance had no choice but to suck it up and bear the ghost's anti-corp, anti-capitalist, anti-night-city, rambling. oh woe! woe! is johnny silverhand, night city's last rockerboy turned co-pilot for arasaka's missing asset.

the thing is. the thing is. with everyone telling vance that the best course of action would be to excise johnny--with hellman telling him point blank that its not possible as well--he doesn't want johnny gone.

johnny becomes second nature to him, more than just a poltergeist who offers him snippy quips and lame one-liners. who likes annoying the hell out of him or who likes making him laugh by doing bits of physical comedy that johnny knows only vance will see.

he just grows to have so much. affection for this man. this man loser who he wishes he had known when things might've been simpler between them.

in the hypothetical good ending for silvervance where they get their own bodies, they're gonna move out to some colder state, somewhere that snows. they're gonna move as far away from local civilization as possible. but they're still gonna find merc work together because neither of them are quite suited to a domestic life.

they take each other's poisons when they finally separate; vance grows wolfish and snarky and johnny goes quiet and smiles a little too much like a dog, lips curled over his teeth. vance is brash and a risk-taker; johnny is loyal to someone other than himself for once.

they'll eat each other alive one of these days. they could not think of a better set of teeth to do it than one that so closely resembles their own.

in my heart n soul i know they find each other in every universe. not that they will happen upon each other; that they'll actively look for the other, not knowing who it is they're looking for at first, but just knowing that there is someone out there for them. i don't usually like throwing the term soulmate around but it's something a lot like that.

they'll find each other in the corpo rat au, they'll find each other in the father vance au, they'll even find each other in the ending where vance stayed with arasaka. there's no separating them and it drives me bonkers. insane, even. i wrote four fics in a haze for them bc of how much they drive me up a wall

anyway ty for the ask <3

[ash5monster01]

Perfect To Love Part 14

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues, language.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 2,848

Part 13 ←→ Part 15

Masterlist

Neither Alan or Allie fought Beth when she said she wasn’t going to school that morning. After all it was the day before Thanksgiving break so how much could she really be missing? So they both left for work, leaving Beth alone in her bed to stare out at the small inch of snow that covered the earth. It would probably melt and return a few times until winter completely swallowed them whole, but for now she would be heartbroken while the earth froze and for some reason that thought made her somewhat content.

Steve had called Robin in a panic, telling her that he had tried to call Beth only to be told she didn't want to talk to him. Robin had tried to call herself only for Allie to inform her of the same thing. She tried to recall ay moment, maybe something that happened at school that could make Beth shut them out, but she came up completely short. She assured Steve that it could be something else bothering her entirely and she would talk to her tomorrow. But when Beth didnt show up for school Robin found herself worrying more and more that maybe it was something that she did.

“She’s not here” Robin grumbled once she was sat in the front seat of Steve’s BMW his head on a swivel, searching each of the Escorts in the parking lot in hope to find hers.

“Something has to be wrong” Steve finally said and Robin sighed as she leaned back in the seat. She wasn’t used to being shut out.

“Obviously Steve, any clue what it could be?” she didn’t mean to sound so rude but the sarcasm and annoyance was unavoidable while she stressed about her friend.

“Not a thought” he muttered, eyes still scanning the parking lot in hopes she’d appear.

“What’d you do?” both of the teenagers jumped as Dustin appeared in the back seat of the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Jesus Dustin, what do you even mean?” Steve asked, a hand over his heart as he tried to calm its pace.

"Beth didn't show up to free period with me and Eddie and she would never miss school. So what did you do?" Dustin accused, pointing at Steve and ready to skin him alive for any wrong doing to his new friend.

"Nothing, I dont know. Me and Robin both called last night and her Mom said she didn't want to talk to us. We're just as confused as you" Steve defended himself but Dustin wasn’t fully convinced.

"Well we better figure it out before she goes to New York for Thanksgiving" Dustin said leaning back in the seat and buckling himself in. Confused looks plastered across both the older friends faces and Dustin almost rolled his eyes.

"She's going away?" Steve started to ask because he felt like this was something he should have known but maybe he just missed it, forgot. No way he could've forgotten.

"Look we'll worry about that later but I have a plan, drive to Beth's" Robin said and Steve obeyed, shifting the car into gear, and taking off down the roads covered in a soft layer of white snow. They all were relieved to see the Escort in the driveway but neither of her parents vehicles.

After a mostly silent ride, everyone experiencing different thoughts over this disappearing act Beth had pulled. Steve racked his brain and hated to admit that his thoughts always went back to Colin. He probably said something and ruined it, upset her, and he was fully prepared to kill him if need be. Robin worried that she got scared, scared of being with Steve, and not thinking she was good enough, and she was ready to prove her wrong. Where Dustin fully stood behind the fact the two idiots had done something whether it was intentional or not.

"So what's this masterplan?" Steve asked nervously, stomach doing somersaults over the fact she was just inside.

"This" Robin said as she grabbed a stack of books from her bag. "It's Beth work for over break, I collected it for her so I had an excuse to come here"

"Genius!" Steve praised and Dustin rolled his eyes. They were definitely both idiots.

"Look give me just a minute and then I'll give you guys a signal to join me" Robin said and they both nodded as she slipped out the car and into the cold. They watched as she stood on the porch, raising a nervous hand to ring the doorbell.

Beth groaned audibly as she heard the doorbell ring throughout the house. Quickly she tugged on a hoodie as she rushed down the stairs to see who from her mothers church group she'd have to turn away. Yet when she glanced through the peephole she was met with her twitchy and nervous friend Robin. Ex friend. "I don't want to talk to you"

"I'm not here to talk" Robin said after flinching from the response her friend had given her.

"Robin, you always have something to say" Beth sighed out, almost so quietly through the door she didn't hear it.

"Beth I have your school work, I'm worried about you, that's all" Robin counter offered and Beth pressed her forehead aginst the door wishing she would’ve just let whoever rang the doorbell go away.

"Just leave it on the porch, please" Beth said sounding a bit strangled from trying to fight off the tears that were burning to come out.

"Beth what did I do, why are you shutting me out?" Robin ignored her request and Steve and Dustin both noticed she was talking to the closed door, only assuming Beth was on the other side.

"Just leave it Robin" Beth finally cried out and Robin sighed as she leaned to set the stack of books at the foot of the door. Steve hit the steering wheel as he watched Robin retreat back to the car and jump inside to escape the cold.

"Let me try" Dustin said, pushing himself out of the back seat before Steve could ask what had happened. Dustin wrapped his arms around himself, the wind pushing his hat back slightly as he approached the door. He was about to ring the doorbell when he still heard Beth's soft cries on the other side.

"Beth, what’s wrong?" he called out and Beth gasped slightly at the sound of Dustin's voice, backing away from the door so he couldn't hear her.

"Nothing Dustin, don't worry about it, please" she called back and Dustin sighed as he tried to keep from shivering in the cold.

"We're all so worried about you" he said and Beth felt more tears burn at her eyes because choosing to leave behind Steve and Robin included everyone else including this sweet young boy who had become such a good friend to her. That thought broke her heart even more as she considered that in the friend divorce they would all get the kids she had come to know and love.

"I know Dustin, and you're the best for checking on me. I just need to be alone" and before Dustin could respond he heard her footsteps rushing up the stairs. The pair in the car watched his shoulders drop as he returned to the car himself after another failed attempt.

"That was a bust" Dustin said as he closed himself into the warmth of the vehicle. Steve's heater working over time. "She ran back upstairs before I could say anything else"

"Robin which room is hers?" Steve questioned and Robin gave him a confused look before pointing to the left window above the canopy of the porch. "I'll be back"

"Wait Steve, dont get hurt!' Robin called after him but he slammed the drivers side door shut while ignoring her. Dustin leaned forward to watch as Steve jogged up the porch. As if he had done this a hundred times before he was swigning a leg to stand on the rail. He used one of the beams to keep balance as he stood up, twisting his body to grip the edge of the canopy, and begin to pull himself up. Steve had always been strong because of swimming and basketball and now he was strong from staying in shape to fight monsters. Thankfully it came in handy as he finally got majority of his body on the canopy and he was able to walk across and face her window.

Before he tapped on the glass he saw her curled in bed, the room dark as she shook with tears and his heart broke. He wanted to know what he had done, what they could do to fix it. Giving in he tapped on the glass just to see her jump before looking at him with a tear stained face. Beth went against her better judgment and stood to open the window. Steve couldn’t help but smile as she revealed herself to him as he sat crouched out her window. "You're gonna get hurt"

"It was worth the risk" he told her and she sighed, using the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe her face clean of tears. "Can I come in?"

"I don't think you should" she responded and he tried to hide his disppoitnent in her response. Sighing he leaned closer into the window, heart accelerating at how beautiful her hazel eyes looked. So clear from the tears she had let fall. Beth wished he didn't look so handsome himself, hair fluffy and lashes covered in soft snowflakes. She wanted to kiss each one of them away.

"Why are you shutting us out?" Steve asked and Beth sighed, more tears fighting to come to her eyes. He wanted to reach out to her, hold her, but he was worried he’d scare her away.

"I stopped into Family Video yesterday" Steve gave her a confused look, clealry recalling she hadn't been there because she had work herself. Then it dawned on him that him and Robin had been talking about her at work, talking about their plan, that she had been using the back door lately. The exact one he knew you could hear crystal clear through because he had done it himself.

“Oh Beth, you don't understand-" but Beth was holding up her hand, stopping his defense because she didn't want to hear anymore bullshit from either of them.

"Did you know Colin told me he had feelings for me?” Steve was confused again as he let these words sink in. "He told me he hated himself for being attracted to me when everyone else bullied me for being ugly and do you want to know what I said to him?"

"What?" Steve whispered, never have seeing Beth this angry before. It was like he had pushed her past the sad part and now she was just frustrated.

"I told him I ended up with you because you got to know me without someone asking you too, and that made all the difference" Steve sucked in a sharp breath as she told him this, realizing that in a way they had done her wrong. The intentions were pure but maybe she was right. Maybe Steve would have never looked at her without Robin asking him too.

"Beth, please let me explain" she was shaking her head and Steve felt his heart collapse because she had already decided he wasn't worth it. Just like everyone else did.

“I don’t need an explanation Steve. I get it. Robin is your friend and maybe you have changed, it’s not your fault you can’t be attracted to me. You were just being a good friend to Robin” Beth said and Steve realized she had it all wrong. Robin may have asked him to spend time with her but falling for her was all him.

“That’s not it” he started to shake his head but the look she gave him made him stop.

“Please, I can’t be hurt by you again. Let me go” and as Steve went to open his mouth and stop her again she was sliding the window close, clicking the lock, and shutting the curtains. He let out a defeated sigh as she completley shut him out and tears began to rim his eyes. He was angry and hurt for her. He thought he had changed but maybe he didn’t because if he did he would've given Beth a chance and not just now but on that first day of freshman year.

Carefully he made his way back down the canopy and onto the porch where he jogged to his car now that he was completley frozen through. Robin and Dustin looked at him curiously as he settled in his seat, cheeks red and bitten from the cold. He took a moment to absorb the heat, keeping his eyes forward because he was pretty sure he was about to cry and he didn't want them to see that. He didn't want to be pitied because this was his karma, he deserved it for being an asshole all of those years. He was no better than his father, Tommy, Carol, or the rest of the assholes at that school.

"Well, did you see her?" Robin questioned and Steve sighed, glancing out the window to blink away the tears that came to his eyes.

"She came to Family Video yesterday" he said but it didn’t occur to Robin as quickly as it did Steve.

"No she didn't we had a dead shift, we spent majority of it putting away tapes and talking" Robin argued but Steve finally turned and gave her a pointed look.

"And what were we talking about Robin?" again she looked confused but then it dawned on her, realization covering her features.

"She thinks I made you do it, and you were pretending" Robin said and Steve nodded as she buried her face in her hands.

"Do what?" Dustin asked from the back seat but he went ignored.

"She's upet because she thinks I was using her and she's upset that you put her in that position" Steve said rubbing his hands together to regain some warmth.

"Oh God, did you try to explain that it wasn't like that?" Robin asked, heart now aching because she truly was the reason her friend was hurt and now she was no better than all those other kids that had hurt Beth all these years.

"Yeah but she didn't want to hear it. She told me Colin admitted to having feelings for her, that he hated himself for feeling that way, and she told him that the reason we ended up together is because I got to know her without someone asking me too" as Robin gasped Dustin started to piece together what exactly they were talking about.

"Robin you made Steve hang out with Beth?" Dustin whispered and they both turned back to look at him, uneasy looks on their face.

"It wasn't like that, I wanted Steve to get to know her and I figured if people saw Steve with her they'd give her a break. We planned nothing else, we swear" Robin told him and Dustin fell back into the seat with an annoyed chuckle.

"She has every right to be mad you guys, you used her. Your intentions may have been good but what if Steve didn't like her, he was pretending the whole time, and she found that out. That is so shitty of both of you. Of you doing it to her and Steve for going along" Dustin said as he began the shake his head, now angry with both of them too.

"I didn't think of it like that when we first planned it" Robin said, tears now rimming her eyes as well because she broke her best friends heart. That was all her.

"You shouldn’t of planned anything, you could've just brought her to movie night with no plan in place and hoped for the best" Dustin said now looking out the window and away from either of them. He had warned Steve not to hurt her and he loved his friends but he began to love Beth too. Now he was going to lose her because all of them were idiots.

"Let's just give her space, maybe when she gets back we can reach out again and apologize" Steve said putting the car into reverse as Robin quietly cried in the front seat. He was trying not to cry himself, driving through blurry vision because he had hurt beth whether he intended to or not and now Dustin was mad at him.

"If it's any consolation Dustin I did fall for her, whether it was intentional or not" he said as he drove in the direction of his house and Dustin just grunted in response because he knew Steve was telling the truth but that didn't change what had happened.

After all how do you convince the girl who thought she could never be loved that you really did fall for her?

Taglist: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @alexa-33 @bethanysnow @middle-of-the-earth @princessadriana4-blog @mochminnie @legendaryhumandiplomatgoop @a-lil-bit-nuts @i-came-as-bostonian @krazyk99 @thunderstomp-and-tequila @cumslutforaemond @futuristicbirdtraveler @unholyhuntress

Comment if you want to be added the the tag list :))

[where-the-heck-is-yuki]

Tw:

Child abuse, suicide, mention of ed, grape, sa

"Oh listen. Isnt it beautiful how the children cry?"

@onionhaseyeoo @myluckymoon @paintedgrilledcheese

"Don't touch me you old hag!!"

I hate it here so much. I dont even know why im here or what im dong but okay.

 All i rember is playing as a little bean the sun was shining as bright as ever i fet the warm sun on my skin, it felt good and safe. But little did i know that, that was the last time i would ever feel safe again...

I lay on the cold floor. im hungry and thirsty . I wonder when he’ll feed me again its been days or even weeks i don't know anymore. Im just hungry… but I'm used to feeling hungry at this point, I'm used to the pain. A couple hours went by where i just laid there in the dark hungry and cold. But then I heared some familiar screams and sounds…it was the screams of children, my friends…or my siblings as i called them. My “master” was probably picking out one of my siblings to sell away to creepy grown adults who want to pleasure themselfs, and throw them back in here in this hell or something like that. I don't really care anymore. I just wanna leave this place and be free.

Even tho I was lost in thoughts a familiar voice brought me back “Hey stupid girl a custmor wants you get up. You hear me?”a voice said loudly it was my stupid “master” "Yeah  i understand” I said and rolled my eyes, he just sighs at me and grabs me by the arm and leads me out of my room.

He pushed me into a small room with a bed and a camera as normal then i just sighed and i knew what was coming. 

...

I hate it so much...why couldnt i just leave already? Why couldnt they just die already!? Why couldnt i just die already!?!-

After that night i sat down in my room and bursted into tears...for the first time in years i was crying but I didnt understand why.

So that night I said that enough was enough a i was tired of living like this. So then I killed every living human in that hell of a place. Even my "siblings"

Miyano: oh yuki? Wanna know what I thinl about him? Well hes kind and sweet but doesn't show it that often. He told me that hes scared to show any signs of "weakness"

Tsuki: my little snow?.. well I would say hes kind but I wish he ate more. Even tho hes used to not eating, i still feel bad for him.

Haruto: oh him? Hes kind and pretty loyal. But he hides his emotions to much for my liking.

Romeo: ah that boy? Well he is kind and his kids are amazing as well!-

Izan: Dada? My Dada is the best i love him so much hes the best dad ever!!!

Kimi's thoughts

The more deppresing backstory my characters have the more that means that I love them!-

Well I hope now you understand why yuki acts like he acts. He doesn't like showing signs of weakness so thats why hes so aggressive.

The story takes place when hes a kid so that means he was a little girl

Also interact with my baby please-

Quick shot doesn't need to know that they have like 4 kids now-

Yuki collects kids in his free time okay?-

[whovianshifts]

first shifting attempt !

(well, since my year long break)

as some of you may know, i really love reya singh's reprogramming the mind program. so, lets begin a few days before the attempt:

i identified that, whilst i believed in shifting, one of my beliefs was that shifting was difficult and that it was complicated. so i worked with that. and after trying to reset my views, i still didnt shift.

anti-climactic huh?

it's not that i didnt shift, actually. i had felt so much anticipation leading up to that day that i felt so anxious and drained that i just couldnt bring myself to. so the next day, before bed, i decided to *actually* shift.

at that point, whether my reprogramming worked or not wasnt my concern (which i suppose means that it did work, because i've stopped caring so much about the specifics of shifting). however, that night, i realised that, whilst ive become less obsessed, i couldnt let that make my shifting attempts half-arsed and lazy.

so, going back to the basics, i used a classic method: the julia method (i used the alinur one on spotify).

before you continue reading, i just want to make it clear: i didnt reach my dr. but i learned a lot, i found my footing again and if you're interested in the learning process, read ahead! it might help you fix things you've been struggling with too :)

anyway, as ive been meditating a little recently, it wasnt to hard to focus at first. compared to all the other years ive tried the julia method, this time, i concentrated with ease. i didnt have any scattered thoughts distracting me and i was able to quickly move on if they did start to show. for me, as someone who started shifting wondering how on earth i could shift if i couldnt control my simple thoughts, this was a huge win!! it might have taken a few years, but i am confident that i have already overcome all the big hurdles for myself and am on the right track.

concentrating is one thing; even last year, after a lot of meditation and yoga beforehand, i was eventually able to calm myself. with effort, i could achieve it. but visualisation? when i was younger, i was a very good visualiser. but, at some point, that all changed. i often found that my visualisations were out of my control, that for example, when i visualised a house, a tornado would suddenly appear and just destroy it. even when i did visualise, it was with a lot of mental strain and my visualisations ended up fuzzy anyway. i think, on a deeper level, it has something to do with my anxiety and my life - feeling like things are always out of my control.

so this time round, i was so happy to find my visualisations were stable. i went from being someone who thought she couldnt visualise at all, even thinking she had aphantasia to actually picturing all the prompts in the guided meditation and being able to focus on my dr. what helped me was definitely practicing visualisations during my reprogramming days - i found an image of my waking point (tigris snow's guest room, check out my other post!!), saved it to my phone and just stared at it. i visualised every detail as i went about my day - remembering little things i wanted to focus on (the blue wallpaper, the red shoes, the grimm's fairytale book, the golden bedframe). i started just by picturing the image, then slowly doing a general 360, even if was fuzzy at first before it got stronger and i had established my waking point. so when i was shifting, i could conjure these up easily.

(to anyone that struggles with visualisation - this is your sign!! dont give up! practice it! its a skill too!! you can do it and i promise, it really helps with shifting in the long run)

so, there i was. i'd gotten up to the bit in the meditation where it focused on conjuring up an object in your mind and sending it away and everything was good. but as soon as she moved on and asked for this to be applied to the dr/cr situation (send away what your cr touches and replace with dr), it was all moving too fast for me. i think this was one of the first things that threw me off - feeling out of control and suddenly unable to follow on. for me, this is when i started disconnecting. counting to 100, i had lost a bit of focus trying to catch up with myself and that didnt help.

furthermore, the counting to 100 thing freaks me out. personally, it makes me feel out of control. i would prefer if i could count to 100 myself, as, when the meditation reaches 100, i sort of feel like the method is over and that i should just start again yk? idk. maybe my issue is that i want control over something that is meant to be spiritually freeing? maybe i should allow myself to let go more. i will resolve to do that during tonight's shift then.

after that, i lost focus. even then, when i tried, i could see a light from my cr and forcing my eyes shut made me lose the flow.

overall, this shift was a 5.5/10 and the extra .5 because i, having written this blog post, realised how far i have come in the long run and so that def deserves credit. i felt few symptoms, though i know that this isnt necessarily a prerequisite of shifting, and i didnt really feel connected to my dr? as it was my first shift, however, i dont mind.

anyway resolutions for my future shifts:

meditate a little beforehand to allow myself to be more detached and let go of my anxieties. trust the process more. maybe use guided meditation as a relaxation technique (because as a meditation i liked it) rather than as a method.

things i want to try out:

shifting in the hypnagogic state - i usually set an alarm for like 4am and try the hypnopompic method - but i am going to try and just stay awake until i'm really sleepy. i find that i have the most trust in this method, as last year, i had many vivid dreams and close lucid dreams after trying this. in terms of a method, i might just affirm a little and trust the process.

on a side note, writing out all my shifting thoughts helps with finding direction instead of being caught up in my own confusion. would recommend.

anyway, happy shifting

tish :)

[greenbloods]

Janos Slynt's Powerful Friends

so janos' "powerful friends" are pretty much a joke meant to show what a blustering oaf his character is, right? but theres also an undercurrent of something deeper beneath. because before hes executed by jon he says this:

“No,” Slynt cried, as Emmett half-shoved and halfpulled him across the yard. “Unhand me ... you cannot ... when Tywin Lannister hears of this, you will all rue—”

so we know exactly who his 'friends' are. but why does he put so much faith in tywin, half a realm away? and what exactly are he and allister thorne plotting, that jon is so afraid of the two of them?

lets take a look at alliser's part in the scene again.

“Lord Janos,” Jon said, “I will give you one last chance. Put down that spoon and get to the stables. I have had your horse saddled and bridled. It is a long, hard road to Greyguard.” “Then you had best be on your way, boy.” Slynt laughed, dribbling porridge down his chest. “Greyguard’s a good place for the likes of you, I’m thinking. Well away from decent godly folk. The mark of the beast is on you, bastard.” “You are refusing to obey my order?” “You can stick your order up your bastard’s arse,” said Slynt, his jowls quivering. Alliser Thorne smiled a thin smile, his black eyes fixed on Jon. At another table, Godry the Giantslayer began to laugh. “As you will.” Jon nodded to Iron Emmett. “Please take Lord Janos to the Wall—” —and confine him to an ice cell, he might have said. A day or ten cramped up inside the ice would leave him shivering and feverish and begging for release, Jon did not doubt. And the moment he is out, he and Thorne will begin to plot again. —and tie him to his horse, he might have said. If Slynt did not wish to go to Greyguard as its commander, he could go as its cook. It will only be a matter of time until he deserts, then. And how many others will he take with him? “—and hang him,” Jon finished. Janos Slynt’s face went as white as milk. The spoon slipped from his fingers. Edd and Emmett crossed the room, their footsteps ringing on the stone floor. Bowen Marsh’s mouth opened and closed though no words came out. Ser Alliser Thorne reached for his sword hilt. Go on, Jon thought. Longclaw was slung across his back. Show your steel. Give me cause to do the same. Half the men in the hall were on their feet. Southron knights and men-at-arms, loyal to King Stannis or the red woman or both, and Sworn Brothers of the Night’s Watch. Some had chosen Jon to be their lord commander. Others had cast their stones for Bowen Marsh, Ser Denys Mallister, Cotter Pyke ... and some for Janos Slynt. Hundreds of them, as I recall. Jon wondered how many of those men were in the cellar right now. For a moment the world balanced on a sword’s edge. Alliser Thorne took his hand from his sword and stepped aside to let Edd Tollett pass. —A Dance with Dragons

we see alliser considering open rebellion to jons order, but thinking better of it. clearly theres a close alliance between the two of them, with common enmity against jon snow. on my first read i didnt spend too much time thinking of alliser and janos other than generally occupying the "antagonist" role in jons chapters. but i think theres so much more going on here.

The sound of voices echoing off the vaulted ceiling brought him back to Castle Black. “I don’t know,” a man was saying, in a voice thick with doubts. “Maybe if I knew the man better . . . Lord Stannis didn’t have much good to say of him, I’ll tell you that.” “When has Stannis Baratheon ever had much good to say of anyone?” Ser Alliser’s flinty voice was unmistakable. “If we let Stannis choose our Lord Commander, we become his bannermen in all but name. Tywin Lannister is not like to forget that, and you know it will be Lord Tywin who wins in the end. He’s already beaten Stannis once, on the Blackwater.” “Lord Tywin favors Slynt,” said Bowen Marsh, in a fretful, anxious voice. “I can show you his letter, Othell. ‘Our faithful friend and servant,’ he called him.” Jon Snow sat up suddenly, and the three men froze at the sound of the slosh. “My lords,” he said with cold courtesy. “What are you doing here, bastard?” Thorne asked. “Bathing. But don’t let me spoil your plotting.” Jon climbed from the water, dried, dressed, and left them to conspire. —A Storm of Swords

what is going on??

ok. so it seems like the senior members of the night's watch--othell yarwyck, bowen marsh, and alliser thorne in the scene above--are attempting to decide whether or not to put their support behind janos slynt in the vote for lord commander, in order to best navigate the future of the watch amidst the turmoil of the war of the five kings, and are considering their options between pissing off stannis or tywin. tywin is in active communication with men of the nights watch (!!) outside of the lord commander's knowledge (!!!) (not that there was one at this time). so it seems like alliser thorne's allegiance is ultimately to the preservation of the watch, but to achieve those goals he is allied with janos slynt, who is tywin's man. its interesting that alliser seems to be playing on the same side as tywin in all this, since tywin is the one who forced him to take the black after robert's rebellion. imo this is meant to show that alliser--despite being an asshole--is ultimately a man who puts his sense of duty first.

where does this leave us in our understanding of night watch politics? we know that there was backdooring, that tywin supported janos slynt for some some mysterious purpose to become lord commander, with othell bowen and alliser convincing each other to put their stones behind janos 'for the watch.' now we just have to figure out what tywin's goal is in all this. as far as i can tell theres two two possible explanations. either 1) he's swaying the watch to give him arms so he can secure the north 2) he's planning on assassinating jon snow to complete his campaign of exterminating the starks. for the second explanation we have to look no further than the red wedding, another major time tywin used "quills and ravens" to gain allies in the north who would win his battles for him, in the hopes of crushing ned stark's household. the first notion is a little subtler, because if theory #1 is correct it wouldnt be the only time in the series a lannister in kings landing schemed to assassinate jon snow

She let Lord Merryweather fill her cup once again. “Another problem has arisen on the Wall, however. The brothers of the Night’s Watch have taken leave of their wits and chosen Ned Stark’s bastard son to be their Lord Commander.” “Snow, the boy is called,” Pycelle said unhelpfully. “I glimpsed him once at Winterfell,” the queen said, “though the Starks did their best to hide him. He looks very like his father.” [...] “Snow shares Lord Eddard’s taste for treason too,” she said. “The father would have handed the realm to Stannis. The son has given him lands and castles.” [...] Qyburn leaned forward with a smile. “The Night’s Watch defends us all from snarks and grumkins. My lords, I say that we must help the brave black brothers.” Cersei gave him a sharp look. “What are you saying?” “This,” Qyburn said. “For years now, the Night’s Watch has begged for men. Lord Stannis has answered their plea. Can King Tommen do less? His Grace should send the Wall a hundred men. To take the black, ostensibly, but in truth . . .” “. . . to remove Jon Snow from the command,” Cersei finished, delighted. I knew I was right to want him on my council. “That is just what we shall do.” She laughed. If this bastard boy is truly his father’s son, he will not suspect a thing. Perhaps he will even thank me, before the blade slides between his ribs. “It will need to be done carefully, to be sure. Leave the rest to me, my lords.” This was how an enemy should be dealt with: with a dagger, not a declaration. “We have done good work today, my lords. I thank you. Is there aught else?” --Cersei, A Feast for Crows

cersei rightfully gets a bad rep in the fandom for making terrible decisions throughout feast, but people dont give her a lot of credit for being able to correctly pinpoint threats. the tyrells are a threat to lannister power bronn's loyalty to tyrion is a danger and jon's command of the nights watch is a thorn in her influence over the north. so in an attempt to lead like her father would, cersei plots to assassinate jon. maybe like cersei, tywin would have identified this threat too. only like his daughter, he would have been much subtler in his attempts to kill the lord commander, using key allies (like how he used the boltons and freys) as catspaws that receive most of the blame for the act itself.

this theory rly fits for me thematically because it parallels quite well with the Great Northern Conspiracy being cooked up by the stark loyalists down south, and because it interfaces nicely with the whole "nights watch takes no part" arc words jon struggles with throughout dance.

so in conclusion i think that janos' "powerful friends," although used to make a joke out of his character, also shows us that there were deeper things brewing beneath the surface of the nights watch

[2cmtall]

voices lines

Context: using different voice lines and adding a small scenario/context to it.

A/N: aah, it's been a long while since I've posted! Not much to say other then the fact my consistency to write and stay motivated is non existent. My apologies 😅

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya

______________________________________________________________

Chat: relax The sun was beating down on you both, the heatwaves rippling near the ground as clammy sweat stuck to all parts of your bodies, though it seems the heat is affecting you more than Diluc. You've been trekking for about an hour and it's only in the last few minutes that he finally took his dark coat off, hanging it over his arm. But even with all the layers of his clothes, his thick red hair, and his fiery vision, his strong legs were still moving at a consistent pace, only ever faltering when he notices you slowing down significantly. He was so focused on getting to your destination, he almost forgot that you werent as adept to extreme weather.

"Y/n, it's in your best interest to try to keep up. We are almost there."

"gasp diluc. . . .doncha think . . . . W'should take uh break?" You could barely even get those measly words out, your head hanging low as you slurred your words together, your mannerisms that of a drunkard if not for the obvious fact that you were in the sweltering heat. Not taking the pressure anymore, you strayed off course and plopped down near a tree, muterring something along the lines of "screw this." You started instantly feeling better as the rustling tree provided much needed air and shade. Looking back at you, he sighed, ashamed he didnt see how bad you were handling the weather, and came to you offering his water as an apology.

"Guess we can rest for a bit."

For the next few minutes of the rest, he spent fanning your flushed face, which put you to sleep, causing you both to delay your trek further. This time though, when walking, he made sure to keep to a more shady area, and making sure that you take your necessary breaks and drink lots of water.

When it rains: umbrellas You and diluc were getting ready to leave Angel's share, it was closing time and you just got finished with cleaning the last table, putting all the supplies away. You couldnt hear the rain, as you were inside and too busy chatting with diluc, talking about everything and nothing at all, but when you opened the door for the both you, that's when the telltale cacophony of rain drops filled your ears momentarily halting your speech. You looked up at diluc in question, "should we go find some umbrellas?"

"I don't need an umbrella, but you could use one if you need." He said it as if it was simple fact that he didn't need one, but you felt bad, not wanting him to get wet just to be polite. "You know, if we only find one umbrella, we could maybe share it? I just dont want you to get wet."

You meant it sincerely, but your words and expression made him momentarily taken aback, though he recovered swiftly with an amused huff. Going to the back, he grabbed an umbrella for you, and shocked, you watched as he stepped out into the rain, steam starting to billow from where the raindrops touched him. They evaporated before your eyes, not being able to get him wet. It was an astonishing sight, one that made you burst out laughing.

"Ha! I guess you really dont need one after all, huh, diluc?" You smiled wide at him, making a small smirk emerge from diluc's lips.

"I'm afraid not, y/n. Care to join me in the rain?" His red eyes twinkled like a ruby in the night.

"Of course, diluc. Can't have you out in the rain all alone, now can I?" And with that, you joined him in the rain, still offering your umbrella toward him, your eyebrow arched toward him with a cheeky smile. At least now, he won't be steaming like a dish on a hot stove.

______________________________________________________________

When it snows- anecdote You and kaeya were sent on a small mission to investigate on some suspicious activity in dragonspine, to your utmost displeasure. No matter if you're used to the cold or not, dragonspine is a different kind of hell, as if the place of eternal fire froze over. Even now, when you and kaeya were well within a cave you found in shrieking excitement, with a blazing fire that crackled in front of you both, you were still shivering. The only thing you could hear besides the blessed fire is the chattering of your teeth and the howl from outside, the thought of going back outside making you curl in on yourself further. It was honestly quite pathetic how weak you were to the cold. Through the shaking of your jaw you mustered out, "this is so stupid. I dont know why anyone thought sending me here was a good idea." Your brow furrowed even further, deep lines of displeasure marking your face.

The sight made Kaeya lightly chuckle as he stretched his sore muscles, obviously making a show of how he wasnt affected by the biting cold. But underneath his teasing, his face grimaced at seeing your sorry state, wondering if you'll really be ok. Hes already given you his fur coat, to which you were vehemently gripping around your body, your knuckles white. So how about he distract you from your problems, he thought?

"Hey, how about a ghost story to go with the snow?" He marched his brow and smiled with his hand outstretched to you, as if offering you this suggestion in his palm. You blankly stared at him through the deep furrow of your eyebrows, "ghost stories? In the snow? Arent these stories usually reserved for camping out in the woods?"

Kaeya smiled, "well, we are technically camping, are we not? And it seems you need a bit of distracting. . . And who's to say we cant tell ghost stories in the frigid cold?" You pondered this for a moment, understanding that kaeya may have a point. A few points actually. You gave a small nod to his direction, giving kaeya permission to continue. "There's an abundance of eery tales surrounding dragonspine, would you like to listen? Though if you're interested, I suggest holding someone close to you. Wouldn't want to scare you too bad~" this made you squint your eyes in confusion. Kaeya was the only other person here? And how scary can these tales possibly be? You were about to call him out on this, your mouth opening in an inhale, but you choked the words before they could form, suddenly understanding. Kaeya wasnt looking at you anymore, your prolonged silence his rash suggestion making him look almost. . . Shy? You couldnt believe what you were seeing. And when you think about it this way, what kaeya said made odd sense given how you were practically rattling in the biting cold, and cuddling-no- being close to kaeya would allow for a bit of protection. And the part where he said you needed a distraction. He already gave you his coat and sparked a fire, and he couldnt so much as use his vision on you, so distracting my mind is the next best thing. Finally understanding his motives, you smiled cheekily as you stood up and plopped down snuggly between his long legs, his chest to your back. He made a noise and stayed frozen, as if processing what just happened. And for a while it was positively silent, with you shivering against him, and him not moving an inch, his breath fanning the top of your head. And then all at once, his arms wrapped around you and his head rested against the top of your head. Curious about the sudden change in him, you discreeting tilted your head up to try to meet his eyes, but could only see the underside of his chin. . . And his smile. A very simple smile, but it was the very reason that made your eyes widen in astonishment. You felt as though you were intruding on a private fact, so you tilted your head back down slightly, and disturbed the silence with a question.

"So, are you going to tell me your ghost stories or not? I'm holding someone close, just like you said." You heard him chuckle, his chest quaking slightly with telltale laughter, which made you smile broadly.

"My apologies for keeping you waiting. As the legends are told, dragonspine was. . . . "

When it snows- cold "What's wrong? Can't handle the cold?"

You gave him a cold side eye that even he shivered at. 'Y/n is quite the menacing one when provoked.' Kaeya thought to himself. You continued to glare at him, despite your immense shivering.

"Hahaha, I suppose not. . ." He gave a weak laugh, trying to look for anything that might dissolve your anger, but for a while all he could see was snow, bare trees, more snow. . . Aha!

"Lucky for you, y/n, there's a cave just a few steps ahead of us! Try not to turn into an icicle in the mean time~" you still looked cross with him, your eyebrows still furrowed, but you've lost some of the hard edge in your frown and your features were less drawn down. Now you looked at him expectantly.

"Carry me, please." Just with the mention of carry, his eyes widened back to you, only momentarily, before he got his composure back and coughed. "My, how very forthright of you! But. . . If you insist, y/n. I suppose Dragonspine has treated you too harshly. You can't help but have assistance from me, can you~?" He treated you with a teasing grin. A Cheshire cat, through and through. At his comment, you made a sort of impatient huff, to which he chuckled at. It's quite a delight seeing you act so childish, though he supposed he should help you, seeing as how you've been struggling to keep up for a while now.

Lowering himself down in front of you, he allowed you to climb on his back. You held on tight around his neck as he raised himself to his full height. He really did feel bad, ya know. Feeling you shiver violently on his back made him hold onto you tighter, lest you fall out of his grip. He told himself that next time he will use everything in his power to help you avoid traversing through the unforgiving nature that is dragonspine. Maybe after this he could take you to the beach, a much more pleasant place to be, he hopes.

[bananafire11]

vent

please dont read if youre not in the right space rn. heavy on anger and feels. just wanna type it out somewhere and this blog is my safe space so

i am so fucking angry right now. like the kind of anger thats pent up and bubbles beneath the skin and is ready to implode out at any fucking second and i hate it so much. i dont feel like i have very good reasons for feeling this way either. or maybe im downplaying those reasons, i dunno

i dont want to bother any of my friends with this shit. i feel guilty because ik they have their OWN struggles. ik feeling this way is silly because i help them through so much, and am so glad to do so. but theres always this doubt.

anyway. on discord, i put my status on DNIUC sometimes because i just need space and ik that most of my close friends will see this and know to be careful that day. or if they text and im slow to respond, ik they understand. but theres these friends who KEEP spamming. and its driving me FUCKING MAD. one, who is very close and gosh i love them so much, sends me so much every day. youd think after the first few times i didnt respond, he'd get the fucking jist and think "ill stop there" but instead he KEEPS ON. ITS OVERWHELMING. and the subject of these texts isnt bad or anything, but its always about him and his bf. i dont have the energy to talk about them 24/7. im beyond happy for him, that hes happy. but FUCK. im asexual and never have been in a relationship, and sometimes it feels like a fuckyou to me?? ik he doesnt mean it that way at all!! but!!! idk, sometimes its like theres a longing for a bf of my own. but i dont want to settle. ill wait for the right boy. right now, hes not here. and im not actively looking for a relationship, i have so much shit going on. so, i usually ignore this guys dms as long as i can. i feel guilty, but at the same time fucking furious that i even have to do it in the first place, if that makes sense. i love him dearly, but it's forced me to just put my status on 'invisible' so it looks like im offline. better to avoid people, ig.

theres another guy, who isnt as close, but ive made great friends with thus far in the time ive met him over a game i enjoy. but again, doesnt know when to stop. why are you texting me when it says dniuc!!! YOU ARENT CLOSE. ive explained 'close' is friends ive known for a year or so, which isnt exactly true actually... but i needed to tell him something that wouldnt hurt his feelings. after i clarified for the second time, he let up. but still. people are fucking annoying and its so FRUSTRATING that i love them because that makes shit so complicated.

then, family. ive been snowed in with my mom and sister for over a fucking week and I NEED OUT. i never thought id say this but I WANT TO BE AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM HOME. my neighbors, who are more so aunt and uncle to me and my sister, let me go over and stay hours with them when i need it. but i dont feel like trecking thru the fking snow to get there. last night i stayed over and watched a favorite movie of mine with them and it was great, but having the energy to do that feels exhausting tonight.

im trying to distract myself with art, but its not working like it normally does. and its goddamn hard. tried videogames, youtube, but nothing is bringing me true relief. but i dont want to sleep either. ugh.

vent art, anger.

[rosemaryandarsenic]

A soft little blurb for you all since I’ve been so horrible at posting! Hope you like it ❤️

(No warnings, Eddie x fem!reader)

The street lamp outside my bedroom window flickered on, it’s yellow light barely standing out against the fog that had settled around Hawkins the last several days. Through the gloom, the sky slowly darkened from a rainy grey to almost pitch black, the moon and stars blurred by a blanket of mist that came every year as the ground began to defrost from the heavy winter snows. I’ve been parked at my desk most of the day, reading, painting my nails, doing literally any kind of self care I can think of. Today is one of the few days off I have for weeks, and I wanted to cherish it, but my depression has been taking the wheel. When my mom passed this last summer, it felt alot like things just ceased to feel real. There have been lots of days when I’d usually be out at the lake with friends or cozied up with my boyfriend at the movies…but instead I’d spend the time curled up in a ball on my bed. Food tasted different and colors all seemed faded, and I’m just tired of it. Eddie, my boyfriend, tries to cheer me up, but lately the winter blues have been hitting him too. Our only solace comes around 9:30 each night, when he gets home from work and drags me to bed for cuddles. I can always tell what kind of say it’s been based on whether or not he tackles me or just grabs my hand and pulls me in. I hope today is tackle day, for both our sakes.

I hear the keys in the door before he’s even got it unlocked and scoot my chair away from the desk, reaching up to clothes the blinds. I can feel my hips cramp from the amount of sitting I’ve been doing and sigh, pulling at my worn out band tee and stolen boxer shorts (I have pajamas but honestly Eddie’s clothes are more comfy). He bursts in the door in a flurry of fluffy brown hair and leather, tossing his keys to the side and kicking the door shut.

“Cmere baby”, he smiles, scooping me into his arms and lifting me off the ground in one swoop. His smile makes me feel warm and fuzzy, a giggle escaping as he launches the both of us onto the bed and lands on top of me with a grunt.

“Eddie,” I gasp, still laughing, “you’re crushing me.”

“Who’s talking?” He pretends to look around, “I can hear my girlfriend, but I don’t see her?” He squirms on top of me and feigns surprise when he looks down. “There you are! How’d you get down there baby?”

I laugh harder, trying to free my arms to grab at him. “You’re such a dingus.”

“That’s no way to talk about yourself, sweetheart.” He chuckles, pinning my arms down and sneaking a kiss.

He rolls off me after another minute of play fighting and settles into my side, brushing hair out of my face. “How’s my girl today?” His eyes are all wide and glassy, and my stomach flips. He’s so pretty sometimes just seeing him makes me feel love drunk, even on the bad days.

“I’m okay. Didnt do much.”

“As it should be,” he says, lacing his fingers through mine. “You work too much.”

“I know,” I roll my eyes and snuggle into him.

He peppers the top of my head with kisses and holds me tight, our legs tangled together. I can feel my body relax slowly, unwinding the way it refused to all day.

“I love you, sweetheart.” He murmurs into my ear as I bury my face into his chest peacefully.

“I love you too.” I whisper back.

All right with the world when Eddie’s here 💕

[yumenosakiacademy]

a Far Too Long lyrics analysis 4 "Black Pear Tree" by The Mountain Goats & Kaki King n how I associate it w torahime shu from charisma house, borne of me having a head full of thoughts n time on my hands at like 5:30 am.

"I dug a hole n filled it up w compost... Rested on the cool grass 4 a minute."

Him planning 2 enter the house n start his infiltration mission. The beginning of the arc, n, unknowingly, of the end n new beginnings in equal measure. He rests his head on the grass outside of the sharehouse [end of 91, where he was lurking outside], taking a moment of respite b4 he starts what could make or break them.

"I saw the future in a dream last night... There was nothing in it."

Sensei having lost all hope w the lab being lost. w the lab gone n his sensei's spirits down... what's left of there 4 their dream? Theres nothing... esp 4 poor sensei. He wont stand 4 tht. Smth must b done. Possibly additionally a foreshadowing or premonition of naka leaving him. After all, w/o the lab, what need does he have 4 an assistant aka Him? Will he b left 4 dust jus like the lab? But he hopes it's jus his anxious feelings hanging that threat over his head. He prays he won't be abandoned. Sensei, please look at me. Please keep me. I'll b trying 4 u. I'll get us what we want. What we Need.

"I set the sapling in the hole, started gently tamping down the dirt... I saw the future in a dream last night."

Tora going thru w the plan n infiltrating the house, setting the plan in motion, shown here w the metaphor of a Tree. He sees the future again in a dream, but its not nothing this time, bc he's actively trying 2 make a future 4 them. However its left vague as 2 what he's seen bc it's still unknown. He can't say 4 sure tht they'll succeed, but he can't b sure they'll fail, either. If he'll get caught or if they don't get infoz or if they witness breaks... he sees the future. mayb as a ball of light, mayb as a blur tht he can't remember upon waking up, mayb smth tht we aren't allowed 2 kno bc it's tora's life n he has a right eye withhold his fantasies... all the same it's a Future. n thts Enough.

"Somebody's gonna get hurt, somebody's gonna get hurt. I hope it's not me. But I suspect it's going 2 have 2 b."

The repeated injuries he sustained via the reckless charismas in the sharehouse, as well as a double meaning of either them or the charismas going 2 end up having a bad time [the charismas being captured or him n naka failing n possibly being on the tail end of another group break]. He knows tht he has 2 endure all of the pain he's experiencing if he's 2 get the info tht naka needs n do a good job. As much as he would liked if they'd've succeeded w their plan at the old lab, this is how things r now... Naka didnt have a backup plan, so its up 2 him. Its going 2 hav 2 b. The charismas dont remember his face- they hav no reason 2. n so there he was, in tht chaotic house. endure it. 4 the plan. 4 naka. Even if naka doesn't care abt how much hes going thru 4 him. even if all he cares abt r the charismas.1 day, mayb... he will. He'll pat his head n hug him close n say "good work". Call him "torahime".

"I dug my heels in 4 the winter, and I waited 4 snow."

Taken literally as opposed 2 giving up, he waits 4 the breaks 2 happen or 4 breakthrus w the charismas 2 occur. Also him waiting 4 the charismas 2 punish him or kick him out after rhe incident w naka [hot spring n shopping eps], which fits w the lines actual meaning of giving up n waiting 4 bad things 2 happen (the 'snow')

"But something was stuck up in the clouds. Something was stuck up there. It couldn't let go."

His yet-2-overflow/realization of jealousy n hatred 2wards the charismas. I suspect in the eps after 104, he was still in a state of High Alert ie shock n wariness of not knowing what will b done 2 him, seeing as how he startled when spoken 2 n was relatively quiet up until around 107. so at 1st, he knows smth is wrong... this tension yet warm feeling... smth will come of this, he feels, but... just living happily w these guys n being treated as a companion is nice... all the same, he can't shake a small feeling in the back of his head tht he tries 2 ignore (until 107).

"And when its time came, i could see it happen; Blossoms black n sweet as texas crude. I saw the future flowering like a ruptured vessel... Somebody's gonna get screwed. It won't be me."

The seed of the plan [see the 1st lyrics point] has grown n w it, his relationship w the charismas. At the end of 107, he's accepted by them rather than the punishment he was bracing himself 4, in2 a house tht will welcome him n w companions tht will n do care abt him, more than naka ever did. The light of the charismas shines on him, their 'flowers' covering the red rage of his breakdown n showing him tht there's hope n a place 4 him (note: 'crude' in this case possibly being the charismas' crude natures.. lol). He's been abandoned, yes but a better place awaits him where he belongs. It's not the ending he saw 4 himself, but all the same he will b 'screwed over' n neglected n 4gotten no longer.