#it could be a matter of the characters thinking if they try escape or outwit ‘predetermined’ suffering the universe will only take more from

[fellhellion]

Hm. Something I’ve been thinking about (since I never shut up about Miguel apparently) is the idea that maybe there’s not supposed to be, to his understanding of what happened, a singular canon event that he breaks when dipping dimensions, it’s more the idea that he “breaks” canon by no longer being present to carry out his own canon events, by wanting something outside of what was apparently predestined to him, and the universe punished him for it.

I broke [canon] once myself, he says, but he doesn’t name the event even as the examples he pulls up are labelled.

Perhaps the “event”, as the characters perceive it, could just be something as simple as by virtue of replacing alt!Miguel he negated the intended effect of the man’s death upon the world around him.

But I just wonder. Because the way Miguel speaks of this to Miles portrays his own wanting for something different as being what he thinks invoked that destruction.

“We all want to live the life we wish we had, believe me I’ve tried. And the harder I tried, the more damage I did. You can’t have it all, kid.”

I wanted something more, but Spider-Man’s fate is set. Any and all events, regardless of their nature. And defying that fate, trying to live a life beyond what it asked of me killed people.

If you alter your course from canon in any way, you hurt people.

[bunglegaydogs]

Episode 61 BSD spoilers ofc xoxo

I know a lot of people are upset at Fyodor's death this episode, but can we all just remember that this was probably one of the better options that could have happened of all the options?

I always knew that Fyodor would die - it was just a definite thing I had in my head. He couldn't stay alive like Fitzgerald, that's not the way his character is. He's too much of a danger to everyone else when he's alive. I thought this was a pretty great ending to his life, it's not perfect but it is? I don't know. Something about burning in the flames and succumbing to them in the vehicle you were supposed to escape in after being fooled by a cheap party trick.

For all the people saying "But Fyodor's the smartest character in BSD! How could he be fooled by Chuuya just pretending to be a vampire?"

May I remind you of the fact that Fukuchi fooled Ranpo? You know, the one who's known for never being wrong and solving things like this constantly? Because even when Mushitarou used his ability, the same ability that has hidden thousands and thousands of esteemed criminals with deplorable crimes to their name, and not one person has been able to find them, Ranpo was still able to solve it with only a few clues.

Yet due to his unwavering trust and faith in Fukuzawa, that led to him being completely oblivious to Fukuchi being Kamui. He didn't think that he'd need to look beneath the surface level, because Fukuzawa trusts him so much. He never thought that he'd need to look any further.

The same goes for Fyodor and Chuuya.

Fyodor isn't the smartest character in the series, nor is he meant to be! He's simply just one of the smartest. He can still be outwitted by the rest. Not everyone can win everything every single time. Eventually, no matter how good you are at chess, someone else will beat you.

Anyways lol.

We don't even know how Fyodor got Chuuya to Meursault, or how he had proof that he'd turned him into a vampire. Of course, it will all be revealed soon, but disregarding that for a second.

Chuuya has broken into Meursault after Fyodor tells him to, mowing down all the guards and killing them all and saving Fyodor's ass from getting shot or being thrown back into jail. It all adds up in Fyodor's head so far. Chuuya says nothing, only growls, hisses, and screams. Typical vampire. (Other than his weird yowl LMAOOO)

Nothing is fishy to Fyodor yet. Chuuya is helping him and doing as he says. Then, they both get almost drowned by Dazai. Again, this is all pointing to the fact that he is not on Dazai's side if Dazai is actively putting him in his plans to kill Fyodor too.

Fyodor assumes that their bond is shallow and fragile, easily breakable if he presses down hard enough and severs the knot, which is what hes trying to do. He teases Dazai because, in his head, it's a one-sided relationship in SKK.

Fyodor doesn't understand human emotions well. He sees people as pawns and is not afraid to use them to get what he wants. But he is different from Dazai in the way he thinks about them. He dislikes humans; he thinks they're sinful and boring and a waste of his time, whereas Dazai thinks humans are fascinating and complicated and wonderful. Fyodor does not see the appeal. Which is what separates him from Dazai. Fyodor uses the people around him until he has no use for them anymore, tossing them aside. He has no regard for their feelings, and anyone he associates with he automatically tries to see what he can get from them and what he can do with them. Dazai does not. Dazai uses people as a means to help the Agency, or to save someone else, or to get information on how to not let the fucking world end, and the character development is wild.

Dazai used to be much more like Fyodor than he is now. He was cold, ruthless, and heartless back then. Whilst Dazai still sees no point in living and wishes to die, and he sees no point in anything, he has still grown more compassionate and a lot more self-aware and he has become capable of more emotion and wanting to save people thanks to Oda. Yes, he still doesn't really care about much, but he genuinely does care about those closest to him and saving and protecting them.

That is why Fyodor couldn't understand - he didn't know just how much trust Soukoku had between each other. He underestimated the bond between them. How much they rely on each other, and always have, for seven years. He thought he had Chuuya under his thumb this entire time, but Chuuya had bested him and tricked him.

This also just goes to show Chuuya's intelligence that a lot of people seem to forget. This type of shit will come easy to Chuuya - he's a Mafia executive for a reason, God damn it. He can lie, he can manipulate, he can be sly and cunning and discreet and careful. He's not a fool, he knows how dire this situation is. And so of course he's going to put his all into a completely fool-proof performance. He literally fooled us, and we're the ones shouting at Dostoevsky for underestimating Soukoku's bond.

But see? This is precisely why this was a suitable "death" for him. (I'm only saying "death" in quotes because you never fucking know with this series.)

Burned in the flames of hellfire as he perishes with the thought that he was completely beaten.

I made a post a while ago about how Fyodor's downfall was going to be how he thought he was too untouchable, how everything is simply but a trial for him and how he is the messenger of God, forcing his will onto other people and just spreading what is God's plan to wipe the world of sinners. How cocky he gets in his own way about his intelligence. How he underestimates, undermines and belittles the people around him because he genuinely thinks that they're worth nothing more than a pebble on the ground to him. He has no empathy or compassion that we've seen so far. He tricked Sigma and stabbed him with absolutely no remorse despite them being in the DOA together. Nikolai was happy to see him out of prison, and he pretty much just blanked him and went straight to the topic at hand, despite apparently having all the time in the world to kill (not really he needed the antidote not to die tbf lol). His downfall was the very thing that sets him apart from the others and typically gives him the upper hand - lack of regret, compassion or empathy or remorse. He was prepared to (and did!) kill children. He lobotomized two people. He manipulates everyone.

I really don't think that Fyodor's story is over at all, but I do think he's actually dead. Maybe not though. As I said, you never fucking know with this series.

Anyways. My point in this post was the fact that whilst we're all upset about his death (well, not all?), it was suitable. You can't complain about BSD not having the balls to kill off any characters, and then when it does, complain that a character has died. Or that "Well, it should have been somebody in the Agency." And what logic would that bring to the table? What would an Agency member dying accomplish? Atsushi is the protagonist, so he's off the table. Things would be very fucked up if Yosano died because then none of them could survive the shit they get themselves into. We don't know enough of Kunikida's history for him to go, plus he's the next leader of the ADA, plus his story is not finished, plus it wouldn't give us anything but grief if he was to die. If Ranpo died, that would also be a big no no, because it would only possibly send Fukuzawa into some sort of corruption arc, and it would crumble the foundations of the Agency, considering he and Fukuzawa are the two founders and he was the first member, and the Agency was made for him. Kenji, I don't see any point in killing our guy off. Leave him alone <3 Kyouka, maybe. She seems, I guess, slightly reasonable. Give Atsushi something more to fight for. Give him reasons to go feral, give him something to be absolutely fucking distraught about. But after that... then what? What would her death bring but grievances to Atsushi? Tanizaki, also no point in killing him off. They'd lose a valuable ability that could get them out of so much shit, Asagiri wouldn't kill him off like that, especially when we hardly know anything about him.

And for people saying "Dazai should have died instead."

That would be really fucking unreasonable - we still have far too many unanswered questions and loose ends. Atsushi would lose his mentor and obviously not handle it well. What about Akutagawa? Kunikida? Chuuya?

Dazai is such an integral part of BSD and an integral part of Atsushi's life - my one hope whilst waiting for the newest episode was that Asagiri wouldn't kill Dazai because there was no logical reasoning behind it. Yes, it would cause some great angst, but if he died, it would have actually just been the turning point for this conflict to get worse. Fyodor would have escaped, and then what? The world would have been wiped, because I guarantee you even if that wasn't Fukuchi's plan, it sure as hell was Fyodor's and he gets what he wants. If Dazai had actually genuinely died, what happens to Chuuya who has to look at his partner's lifeless body in front of him and is like "I did that." If he was a vampire through this and came back when Aya pulled the sword out, imagine what the fuck would have happened when he saw what he'd done. We all remember him going absolutely fucking feral and off the rails in Beast, and he hadn't even killed him there. Chuuya comes to, looks at the gun in his hand, looks at the dead partner of 7 years in front of him bleeding out. My safest bet is that he'd use corruption. But, Dazai is dead. He can't nullify it. Fyodor is escaping on the helicopter. Sigma is still in that room unconscious. Nikolai is doing God knows what he can teleport and shit. Chuuya unleashes corruption, destroys himself and the building, and Fyodor is far away and so is Nikolai, and Sigma is caught in this wreck. That's three important characters all killed in one swoop, whilst the "bad guy" escapes and is free to enact his plan without them hindering it.

?!

I'd rather not see that ending of BSD I can't lie to you <3 (However, I do want an angsty SKK scene of Chuuya going batshit insane at realising what he's done whilst he's been controlled and used as a puppet which is fucking awful for him... maybe I would like to see a little snippet of what this world would be like. Anyways.)

Sorry this got SO off-topic.

MY POINT BEING FYODOR'S DEATH WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAPPEN.

TL;DR: Fyodor's death was always going to happen. It was inevitable.

He's been likened to Jesus so much throughout this series. He's a messenger of God and God puts him through so much suffering, and so many trials, and he sees it all as a simple test that he'll be sure to overcome. He's so blinded by his faith and his Jesus Complex that he can't see where he goes wrong or where he has failed because he's so sure that he can win and doesn't understand human emotions and underestimates everyone around him therefore leading to his demise and being fooled by Soukoku, who he doesn't understand the bond between because he doesn't look beneath the surface of anything intwined with complex emotions.

An angsty outlook would be that Fyodor may be scared of emotions because he doesn't feel them, and therefore takes the approach of "what you don't know can hurt you" and he's afraid of what he doesn't know, much like Dazai. But hey that's just my brain wanting to be scratched and itched the right way and making all my favourite characters tragic.

ANYWAYS goddamn this was so long-winded to just say that.

I hope everyone has a lovely day/night <3

[sweettjrose]

Something I find really interesting is this panel from "Mickey Mouse Outwits the Phantom Blot" where the Phantom Blot explains why he didn't straight up kill Mickey even though he clearly overpowered him multiple times and could easily do so.

I think this moment is interesting because it kind of adds a bit of depth to him beyond a generic killer/criminal. Plus it isn't that he is against death in general (as he still puts Mickey into traps with the intention of killing him) but directly being involved where he can see the person dying. What is even more interesting is how people interpret it.

Some people see it as a oddly wimpy moment for the Phantom Blot, with even some just straight up ignoring it.

Some interpret it solely from a Doylist perspective where they understand that the real reason Blot can't kill Mickey is because the story would be over and Disney probably wouldn't be okay with their main character being killed off.

Some take it at straight up face value that he doesn't like to kill, because he doesn't like to see things die and that's it. Just as he said.

And some people even add some element to expand on him as a character such as having some kind of phobia related to blood and gore or even a traumatic experience with death to further expand why he isn't comfortable directly killing someone.

Personally, I like to interpret it as a reflection of a key part of the Phantom Blot's character: His lack of accountability. If there is one thing that is common in many interpretations of the Blot is his refusal to answer for his criminal actions. His first thought when being placed in prison is usually to escape rather than reflect on what he did. And I feel like his aversion to directly killing someone is connected. When he indirectly kills someone in a different location. It is out of sight and out of mind. He can just easily move on to his next criminal action without even a care in the world. But that becomes a bit harder when he is more directly involved.

I like the idea that he constantly tries to separate himself from fault. You even kind of see this in the original comic in how he will sometimes place the blame on Mickey for getting involved instead of him trying to kill him. And while you could say he is just teasing Mickey, you could also see it as him trying to justify his actions. He tries to put up mental barriers to protect himself truly understanding the harm of his actions. And I feel like a part of him knows that if he were to ever directly end a life that it would be a lot harder for him to justify in his mind. He would no longer be able to just ignore it. Any mental barriers he made would crumble.

I also kind of wonder if death also reminds him how vulnerable he actually is. That no matter how skilled and above everyone else he thinks he is. He is not free from the eventuality that is death. That is one thing everyone has in common no matter who you are. His entire criminal career could end before he even achieves the amount of fame and success that he wants. He could be gone from this world and even worse completely forgotten in the sands of time.

[morgana-ren]

What's your biggest fantasy kink?

The power imbalance of an older nastier man drives me wild. Want to take advantage, hurt me and use me? Yes pls thank you Sir. Manipulate me into behaving as your perfect pet, never letting me go, willing to share with a couple of his besties who are just as vile? Would kill for me but is never actually traditionally nice to me? Love it so hard.

This is very much a question that I don't think you want the answer to lmao. I have adhd and it's early so forgive the rambling, but it's hard for me to narrow it down. There's a lot, and I'm sure I will have forgotten something.

I've had years upon years to ponder myself, what I like, and by proxy, why I enjoy the things I do. Through that, I was able to let go of any shame or guilt that I might have felt initially, and thus it was allowed to run rampant. Whether or not it's healthy is another question, but that's for therapy to answer, not me.

Power imbalance is a huge one, and so is someone older, bigger, and stronger. Not being afraid to use those things in such a way as to get what they want, much like you said. A professor; a boss; a dragon; a pirate-- something or someone of immense power over my life and likely others. Someone you don't approach with ease. These aren't characters that fit in or blend well in society.

They're unhinged and usually very dangerous. Looking at the characters I like (Reaver, Tomura, Asto, etc) these are people that are very powerful, very dangerous, and very immoral to the point you could argue a black and white evil perspective. I want someone older. I don't want a child who has barely had time to process the world and stumbles into a clumsy love with the first girl he sees. I want someone who has lived and seen and still rejected it all for me.

Fictional hybristophilia, I believe. Bad guys. Always bad guys. I do not ever like good guys with the same passion as I enjoy their worse counterparts to the point that it's more 'bff admiration' rather than an actual crush. I don't want someone that has power but doesn't use it. I don't want restraint. I want someone that wields it like a weapon and fine hones it to achieve their ends, banal ideas like 'right' or 'wrong' be damned.

I like the fear and the terror, and not just my end, but everyone else's. Being completely and utterly untouchable for better or worse because no one would fuck with them. I am, self admittedly, attracted to power. I like the type of power that makes you question even defending yourself against something blatantly horrible because they can and will hurt you to get their way.

I want fierce possession. Mine, mine, mine. I don't want to be one person in a 93 part harem. I want to be the only one. I require feeling special, and I don't like tropes where they try to make you jealous by belittling your looks or intelligence and comparing you to someone else or want to have you 'on the side' as well as a bunch of other people. It's very much a 'My wife/girl/pet/whatever' thing for me.

They'll hurt you, ever enough to lose you. They'd never, ever kill you. It's not a matter of 'If I can't have you, no one can.' It's a shrug and a simple murder of whatever the threat is. There is no escape. This is your life now. Accept it or don't. It's cute when you fight.

Infantilization, in a way. Thanks in part to childhood trauma and the way-- or lack thereof-- that I was raised, I've always had to take charge and be in control. I don't want to anymore. I want someone who takes that control and that power with ease. I don't want to be treated like a child or a baby, but I don't want to be the bigger, smarter one that can outwit my partner with ease. I want to feel small and 'taken care of,' in a way. Small and cute and helpless. Adorable in their rage, and all that.

Essentially, a sub in quite literally every conceivable way. I don't like taking charge, or making decisions, and my head is so loud and messy all the time that thinking is painful. I don't trust my own judgement. I don't wanna. I want someone dastardly intelligent who is comfortable taking the control, and does so with ease. Someone who doesn't need my help constantly and is comfortable in their skin and with their mind in ways I'm not.

I do like violence. Choking me out, forcefully maneuvering me, slapping, whatever. A lot of it is just violence gets them off. I don't want a manchild that can't manage their own emotions so often that they just explode in a violent rage, but more of... think of like a stern teacher. Or someone tickled by your attempts at overpowering them. Someone who gets off on it.

I like malevolent assholes is what I'm saying. Ones that manipulate and abuse and act like monsters, but would burn the world down just to have you. Can and will. It very much is an obsession, and it's one that doesn't die. Can't do abandonment. They fully intend on forever, so that's what it will be.

I'm not opposed to being 'shared' but it would be an extremely rare situation and wouldn't be purely sexual. We're talking these are people that are EXTREMELY close to the person in question and it's not just to humiliate. Think like 'three husbands' type of deal. Perhaps they're inseparable or whatever else, but it's not something given lightly AT ALL, and they'd kill anyone who tries unless it's in VERY specific circumstances.

I'm a bitch. Or in this context, a brat. They have to like that. I can't have a finnicky control freak who doesn't enjoy the dynamic and tries to breed it out of me. Amused by it, and never threatened by it. I'll never be a quiet, demure little thing, but they take pleasure in trying. Occasionally I like fights to spawn over it, but not a consistent barrage of punishment to the point it loses the charm.

Think like... Someone who slaps you when you talk back too much, licks the blood from your lip, gets worked up and does absolutely deplorable things in bed but then curls around you purring mine and sleeps like a goddamn baby with you chained there next to them. Genuine love, but just displayed in the most horrible ways.

I'm whiny, emotionally stunted, touch starved, traumatized, isolated, brash, angry, intimidating, and not quite right in the head. So ultimately, my go-to are strong, powerful, dangerous, obsessive, possessive, deranged, intelligent, abusive bastards that aren't remotely intimidated by my facade, with fantasies that are worse than mine and the power to make it real. Usually sexual deviants. Collars, leashes, and not even in a petplay sort of way, but in a 'you belong to me and you aren't going anywhere' way. Someone who loves me with such a fierce, covetous desire that it drives them mad. I want to be small compared to them, protected by them, etc.

You can imagine what this says about my psyche. Someone who could decode this could quite literally get my entire life's gimmick, and it's not hard.

Look, I am aware it's literally impossible. Someone who loves you would never treat you like this, and in real life, this would be and is a nightmare. I am well aware of the line between fantasy and fiction and have unfortunately lived it. But in my fantasy world in my head? That's what I go for.

[alterofnaught]

What do you think of Kokichi's lies? Do you think he's a compulsive liar or that he just lies for fun/to get what he wants?

Apologies for being extremely long winded about this answer but I have a BS in psych so I love psychoanalyzing characters and my thoughts are kind of complicated on it. Mostly just because I think just calling it compulsive lying often causes people to ignore the purpose and intent behind Kokichi’s actions (which a lot of people do and act like you can’t discern any of his motivations because he’s a “liar” which I disagree with). And I think it also insinuates he only lies because of that and ignore the many reasons he does tell lies. But I do think there's an element of both to it if that makes sense. 

While it's pretty much impossible to tell completely in just the main game canon if his lying is an actual psychological issue solely because there is a genuine reason for lying (like abuse victims and cheaters are not compulsive liars they just end up telling lots of lies because of the situation and you could say that is the case in a killing game as well). But bonus modes pretty much confirm that lying is absolutely part of his personality even without the pressure of the killing game. But the fact he both lies for fun and lies for a reason are what make it hard to pin down. Nor is it something that is readily agreed on as a term at all since it's not in the DSM-V and there are varying definitions for what qualifies as compulsive lying at all. Compulsive lying is also a trait of lots of other disorders but those you literally could not diagnose him with based on how little we get in my opinion (for example ADHD which is a popular headcanon and I think it makes the most sense out of any major diagnosis associated with lying but still not canon in anyway just a pretty good headcanon) . 

Lots of the lies he tells are for a reason which some psychologists say compulsive liars don’t usually have. Compulsive liars lie out of habit. Which he probably does to an extent but there is purpose to most of them. Especially since a majority of his lies are about his talent and organization or the game itself. Which have definite purpose to them. Like the conversation he has during introductions with Shuichi always makes me laugh actually because like… it’s a secret organization of course no one else should know about it and why on earth would a leader of it just tell you about it. Lying about a secret organization just makes sense, that’s kind of the whole point of it being a secret. And while he does tell more outright lies, he isn’t the only one who plays up their talent or lies during his introduction. Being grandiose in a situation where you are with 15 other Ultimates that are also larger than life and have a talent that is supposed to be so incredible the country searched you out for it… really doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to play himself up for no reason. It’s a pretty impressive sounding Ultimate Talent for what he really is so it makes sense to lie about honestly. And his exaggerations about his organization seem to reflect more on his childish personality more than some need to sound self-important (since he never seems to be seriously insulted at all when he gets questioned on the matter) as well as him just keeping DICE a secret since it's supposed to be one. Even in UTDP him lying about his organization makes complete sense to me (and some of his Salmon Mode preferred answers actually make it seem like he thinks his lies about DICE are ridiculous/stupid which is why I think he makes it sounds over the top and evil so people just write it off and ignore it which is a solid strategy tbh). 

His lies in trials are usually setups to get others to slip up or drag the discussion to where he wants it to be. It’s excessive but just seems to be more of a comfort zone where he knows how to navigate things like that and at the same time can hide himself as someone who knows too much. Which again there is definite purpose and intent in those lies. 

Purely compulsive liars are not necessarily known for being manipulative or cunning and Kokichi can be both of those things. He does lie for gain and to fulfill his plans which makes it seem to be a bit more than just a compulsive habit. Manipulative behavior is more associated with what some categorize as pathological liars (or no difference but again this isn’t a set standard across psychiatry at all). Pathological liars lie for gain but often have very little empathy. That doesn’t fit Kokichi to me because despite his flaws he is incredibly empathetic. Which is something I’ve definitely seen people not understand about him because people confuse kindness for empathy. Kokichi can be a massive asshole which people equate to not caring about others feelings. Which is sometimes true. But empathy is more about being able to understand other people's feelings which Kokichi actually has a very strong talent for. He recognizes the feelings in his classmates quite well even if he doesn’t approach them kindly. He can tell how Kaede feels, he recognizes Kirumi’s desperation, calls out Himiko, and in that conversation with Miu he fully understands her feelings of wanting to escape. It’s part of what allows him to have Gonta and Kaito go along with his plans, he understands their emotions and can easily tell the way they will act based on them. He isn’t mean because he doesn’t care about others emotions as much as he is mean to get certain emotional reactions (that typically benefit him but also sometimes others or the group as a whole). 

Pathological liars also tend to hate the truth and hate being called out on their lies or just straight up believe their own lies. He also does not seem to hate the truth more just recognizes the truth is not always a good thing. There is no denying he respects the truth since in every trial he absolutely cares they get the right answer (minus the 5th of course). He also uses the truth as a weapon just as much as his lies at times. Like when he pointed out Kaede pushing the group too far or Himiko’s attitude to Tenko. Saying the harsh truths that other people are afraid of saying are just as much part of his arsenal as lies. The comic anthology isn’t canon necessarily but like I did find it interesting that when they were all trying to trick the Monokubs that they had to try and physically stop Kokichi from telling Monotaro (I think) that he was lying. So that definitely makes his lying a bit unique in that he seems to have no problem in calling himself out on lies. Which he does almost constantly in canon and Salmon Mode as well. He is incredibly nonchalant about being called out on lying from others as well. I also don’t think he fully believes his own lies even the one about enjoying himself in the killing game. 

In the bonus modes he lies for fun and because it gets him reactions he wants (it’s not really for personal gain or manipulation in Salmon Mode or UTDP). It still seems very purposeful to me and something he enjoys doing (the line about how he likes lying more when hanging with Shuichi for example or how his conversation with Celestia in UTDP makes it pretty clear he sees lying as a fun game). He hates being bored and loves outwitting people and just playing around to see peoples reactions in general and lies are the perfect tool for that. 

But there are some things I think point to it being a psychological issue still. His line to Kaito before he died about how he had to lie to make it through the game really makes me feel like there is more to it than just him messing around. It's definitely not just a tool for him to use others but one he uses as a coping mechanism for himself. And Keebo’s conversation with him in UTDP about how his lies keep people at a distance adds credence to the idea that he does use his lies to shield himself from other people in any kind of situation. So I also think it isn’t just for fun or to get what he wants but for his own benefit as well. But it’s not something he feels he needs to change as we can see in his Harmonious Heart answers or even his spiel about lying in the Ch4 trial- he sees it as a part of him. 

While he doesn’t ever get much of a detailed backstory in canon. He does have that line to Kaito about how they have very different backgrounds which I feel heavily implies that whatever his background was was lying made it easier. I don’t necessarily think he had a “sad traumatic backstory that explains away his shitty behavior” I do think it's at least implied he grew up in an environment where lying was beneficial. And Danganronpa making such a deliberate reference to a TV show about orphans with a clown motif with DICE makes it seem like him being an orphan is hardly a large leap. He also jokes that he wouldn’t be missed a few times which again is nothing definitive but hints that he doesn’t necessarily have a background of super normal/healthy relationships (DICE is also insinuated to be essentially a found family for him which isn’t a typical situation for most people). 

So I guess part of the reason I’m reluctant to just call it compulsive is because that insinuates it's uncontrollable and I don’t know if there is evidence that he simply cannot handle things any other way. His harmonious heart says he could but doesn’t want to. But there is definitely enough there I think to say that it absolutely is a defense/coping mechanism that he uses to his advantage in addition to just enjoying lying because it's a fun game to him. But also he says he hates liars and lies so often it makes me feel like he recognizes lying can absolutely be a bad thing and that he is self-aware. 

So my TLDR answer is kind of both? Like he definitely lies a lot of the time for his own gain and childish enjoyment of it but also uses them to hide his true self and intentions as well as shelter his own emotions. And it’s not necessarily the healthiest thing for him or people around him so I don’t think it should be written off as a non-issue at all. But the term compulsive liar and how it's typically defined doesn’t really cover his super complicated relationship with lies for me. Because in the end he was written to be “the embodiment of a lie” so it makes sense his lies have multiple and complicated reasonings behind them. I mostly shy away from calling it compulsive because of the insinuations that it is “out-of control” and I don’t necessarily think that's the case. Compulsive lying is just too loaded of a term without a clear agreed upon definition for me to like using (even though I don’t necessarily think its wrong to say it could be classified as such). I personally feel like calling it a coping strategy that can be maladaptive fits better. I don’t think his lying is always inherently a bad thing but there is no denying its not the best thing either. He does it because he both wants to and needs to and feels justified in it as well which is why I wouldn’t categorize it as something he has no control over. (End of excessive rambling because I could go on about how blurry the line is between a behavoir like lying being “normal” and harmful because that is a whole other thing I could go on about)

[slidewhistlebj]

TUA Season 2 is finally here! I think it was a really cool season with some really awesome potential, but there are some parts that I think really didn’t work and this is how i think they should have been fixed

(Spoilers for Season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Obviously)

i think landing the siblings in different years was amazing, they got time to explore themselves and we could see their personalities through what they did

On the other hand, they didnt devote enough time to those storylines so it never felt like they had a solid purpose (for most of the siblings), it was more to show “time has passed”

How did Luther end up boxing under a gangster? How is he adjusting to no dad, no academy?? He was alone on the moon, He was left behind by his siblings in the academy, now he is alone and in a whole other *time* like i wanna hear about that!

Klaus has mansion and a cult and had a girlfriend benefactor lady?? Like: lets get into that! if the show wants humor that can be amazing

but it can also be really interesting and deep for exploring klaus’s need for both personal space (physically and somewhat emotionally) yet also his need for positive attention from whoever will give it to him!

More on that alone now track: the opening scene with their fighting was built to get us hyped

it fucking worked, that shit was amazing

but along with wishing that we saw more of their individual stories, i wish some of their growth had been gradual

like Klaus should have been showing off ghost stuff with his cult which is part of why they follow him which would set up his new ability to summon and conjure multiple ghosts at a time

instead of it being a throw away scene at the end where he gets caught

or Diego could have been shown in his ‘alone in dallas’ storyline to be trying to escape multiple times from the asylum and in that, figuring out his ability to start affecting other peoples shots at him, etc

Stuff like that would have been a great way to both dive into the characters *and* ramp up their abilities

Moving onto The Commission who i absolutely love so so much 

Hell yeah u funky lil time-space assassins

I think that the Handler should have stayed dead

her return to the show while awesome (because she is played so well by her actress) continues this problem for the show of seemingly running in place where things dont have consequences like they should

I also think her return made a very campy feel to certain parts which is fine, the story should have fun! but it doesnt fit with the vibe very well with the other more serious plots

Imagine a storyline where the Handler is replaced by Carmichael, a competent replacement with no close personal relationship to Five

A head to head show down throughout the season of Five trying to outthink and outwit Carmichael and Commission Agents to get a briefcase 

The misdirects! 

The drama! 

The action sequences and reveals!

More Screen Time for the Cool Ass Talking Fish 2k20!

All of which culminates in the board of directors scene but now with real weight behind it for the audience because we have been watching these two face off with one another for a season of build up

LET FIVE EAT THE FISH!

Giving that scene to the handler was the worst part of the whole season, u cant change my mind bros

This would also open up Lila to be more of her own person

Her storyline would change without the Handler there so that instead of being actively manipulated by the Handler, she has gone rogue from the commission to kill Five for her parents deaths due to previous planning and programming from her mother

(its only been 14 days for Five, a very normal turn around for him to desert, have the Handler tell Lila her version of the story, get killed, and have Lila get ready to take him down)

its generally the same plot, but Lila is more in the drivers seat

Going from tagging along with Diego in the hopes that Five returns for him to questioning some of her commitment to her mission as she spending time with them, etc

it could culminate in a reveal of her mother to Five and Diego and then a redemption where she helps them get a case from Carmichael in someway, looping her into the main plot in an important way with generally the same story

but skipping the pretty basic “obviously evil character is obviously evil but hero doesn't see it” trope that they fell into

I think that Luther’s arc in this season was awesome 10/10 gold standard

he was still him, but this storyline showcases the softer side of his loyalty and lets him grow from season 1 mistakes which is everything I hoped for

Comforting Vanya? Check

Being there for Five? Check

Being a voice of reason but still being a dumbass? Cheeeeeck

Diegos arc this season fell flat for me which was hard because he was such a main part of the plot 

This whole season had a build-up trying to break down Diego’s need to be a hero (which they turned to a fucking 11 from last season?? he was not *this* intense last season, im not quite sure why they made the switch), telling him that he isnt / cant be the hero

I assumed this was leading to Diego having a big moment or sacrifice that proved that hero or not, he cares and the effort that he puts into all of these different things matters

But it just didnt??

He didnt stop the president from being assassinated, he didnt save vanya, at the farm he got trapped under a tractor

it just felt like the point was “haha see he isnt a hero”

which,,,,,,okay? What the point of that??

His involvement with the Commision was weird too, i didnt care for him being a part of that storyline very much, it just didnt add anything

Allison’s arc was just on the edge of greatness for me

it was an awesome choice to put in her in a position where she wasnt treated equally and show exactly what kind of person she is by how she fights back

her not using her rumors also seems very genuine and character based here like: 10/10 character motivations and work

My one complaint, like with just about all the partners in this season, is that she fell in love with a man and just had to leave him 

which makes sense and they talk about it but like: she loves him, its hard to picture someone as loving and loyal as Allison just leaving her husband behind forever 

Klaus’s arc just needed more *time*

He is a hella deep character but all of his story lines needed more time to be able to address that complexity 

Show us more of the cult and his ghost powers being used there to trick and amaze and how he has been handling being cut off from the family again

I,,,,,,I understand,,,dave’s storyline

I get the time period

but fuck

that just hurts

I think Klaus not trying to rekindle his relationship with a younger Dave, but trying to protect him from the war was an amazing angle and it needed more time to get the full punch of klaus pulling out all the stops to save him but failing to really land it

Five

My Son

My Trash Boy

I feel like his job as ‘leader of the stop the apocalypse’ movement is good but that was his whole story this time around

He should have gotten more to play off of with the Commission (*cough cough* Carmichael) in his fight to get a briefcase instead of what felt like 10 hours of Five trying to herd his siblings and them just fucking up in someway or another

Five and Older Five was a cool dynamic and im glad they brought him in but again, it just felt like another long storyline attempt that didnt have a purpose as they ended the scene without the case or anything new

Ben’s arc was,,,,,strange

I love Ben and i think his interplay with Klaus is really cool!

But the writers made him fall in love which someone so they could give him a reason to want to possess Klaus which i feel like didnt need to happen

The possession was a good part of the season and could have been taken to some awesome places

It was rough and the ‘consent’ wasnt run entirely well but i think the possession is supposed to be on the line and not quite black and white 

its Ben asking to take control of Klaus! That can be conflict! Thats good stuff right there! Ben is selfish! so is Klaus! thats a cool story to get into between them and see how they try to work it out

Ben wanting to connect with his other siblings after the small taste of being corporeal that he got and pushing Klaus for more and more of that freedom into possession territory would be A+ shit

and Finally: Vanya!

I think most amnesia plots are lazy and just a way to stall progress and reset a character so you can run a very similar plot again but this one seemed to genuinely grow Vanya’s character, even when she remembered 

She definitely has more personality in this season

And while shes quiet, thats just who she is, she isnt as afraid to take space and speak up which is awesome!

And this stays when she gets her memory back which is very good, i dont want to see backsliding for no reason! Give me growth!

I have two complaints about her storyline though

 First Sissy and Harlan

I love both of them and I think they are really cool characters!

Theyre pretty similar to vanya season 1, taking whatever is thrown at them which places Vanya in a more assertive position where she wants to protect them which i loved!

but their ending doesn't sit entirely right with me, just like Raymonds

These characters are in love and they all just leave each other so that the siblings can have a clean, no characters permanently added slate for the next season

it just makes me tired and i really want season 3 to have little to no romance if the only way the show can go about it is to do a love interest per season

My second problem gets its own section because it is the culmination of everything else i have said 

episode ten

Vanya is strong af so any writer that wants big final fight needs to very carefully weigh out how to give each sibling their appropriately sized struggle so they get equal ability to contribute

Instead of doing that though, they did my least favorite trope: Evil Character secretly can do everything the heros can but better and without a problem or ***training***

It meant that they could do whatever they wanted with throwing commission agents at them because Luther, Allison, and Klaus were completely added on just to react to things

Five sort of got to do some fighting (<3 thats my lil geriatric 13 year old) but it was minor, he was mainly there to very obviously turn back time when the big bad shoot out happened

Diego got the most to do out of the siblings and it was suddenly knowing a new ability and doing it a little bit

I dont want a final fight to be trying to woo a bad guy to the good side because theyre too strong to fight 

I want there to be stakes and drama as the siblings show off exactly what the season was all about, what they learned, how they grew together and apart, etc and to take down the big bad which could have very easily been the united front of the Commission instead of 18% Vanya, 15% Harlan, 30% Lila and the Handler, 20% the Swede(s), etc

Lila’s turn to good could have been to help them sneak attack the commission, maybe in their base so as to shrink the fighting to manageable bites for each character?

That would have allowed five’s killing of the board to draw the fighting to a close, a hard decision for him as he is trying to move away from killing but does so to save his family, always to save his family :’( 

Luther could protect his siblings from hits like they showed at the beginning in a way that mirrors how he has been doing that emotionally all season

etc etc etc for all of the siblings so that they each get to show off and have their moment in the spotlight as heros

I loved the season even though i just ranted for like 3 pages, and it has some of the best one liners and line readings ever (”Thats where you come in Five” “Nope. No it isnt”) I just wish that some parts of it had been given some more thought / care so they could really show of the amazing cast, effects, sets, etc without writing in the way

[hopeymchope]

Now I’m curious about what World’s End Club would be like did not do that bait and switch. 🤔

At this point, I'm assuming there was never a time when there wasn't a fake killing game. I think it was always intended to be fake from the moment they started planning the project. I think the marketing blather about "a killing game by children, for children" was just a smokescreen from Day 1.

It always made people uncomfortable, after all... the idea that we'd be watching these 12-year-olds killing each other and dying. So that gave them an immediate attention-grabber. All the publicity despite zero intention of following through on the subject matter!

But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there was a time when they legitimately thought they might do a killing game based around these kids. Whether there was or there wasn't, we can still exercise our minds and try to imagine what such a game would be like.

*INSERT DREAM SEQUENCE TRANSITION*

The game was  announced as a 2D puzzle/platformer even when it claimed to be all about that killing game. So... how would this kind of platformer stuff jive with a killing game? The most logical assumption is that it would all be handled in a similar fashion to how Chapter 1 goes down right now. They obviously would have to be trapped in some way in order to be forced to kill one another, so it’s a natural starting point. 

In other words, similar to WEC’s Chapter 1, you'd have some running and some minor puzzles to complete in order to keep yourself alive, and you'd be forced to complete them because the game would just lock you into those tasks. Then all the actual deaths would occur via cut scenes after you'd evaded or outwitted your latest foe. In that sense, the player would never have to feel like they were actively killing the kids; they'd just be exercising self-preservation. This does remove the kind of active involvement in the results that was so key to games like Danganronpa and the latter two Zero Escape titles, though.

Maybe they could've pitted two children against our leads (consisting of, oh, let's say three characters in the lead protagonist group?) in each chapter. Those two would get knocked off by the end of the chapter (either separately or simultaneously... surprise me), and you'd then advance to a new part of the underground/underwater complex with different vibes where two more kids were waiting to try and trick you into losing. Perhaps they could shake things up by having a chapter where you only deal with one kid, and another one where you have to cope with three or four kids trying to manipulate our heroes.

In the end, this would inevitably lead to the grand finale where the three surviving kids discover that one of them was the mastermind, and they have to take that kid out in order to escape back to the surface world. That way we can have two survivors that talk to one another after everything is over.

[enchanted-prose]

#8 Just a Day in the Life

100th post = returning from teeny tiny hiatus! Special thank you to my darling editor, and @ piratekingimogen for screaming about the lack of Jarogen fluff in the fandom with me!

Word count: 5,295 

Characters: Jaron, Princess Amarinda, Feall (Original Character), King Oberson (Original Character), Harlowe, Imogen

Notes: Expect a few fluffy fics hurtling towards you, please consult your dentist if you develop cavities bc it’s too sweet and it happened to me. Edited

Enjoy!

Jaron drummed his fingers against his right leg.

The leg he'd broken.

Sometimes he touched it to make sure that it was still healed. Even though it had been years since he'd gotten the injury, he still had trouble realizing that he was alright.

He wasn't broken.

Lord Feall and King Oberson were seated in front of him, separated by Jaron's large desk. Both men were silent. Both were unable to look at Jaron for very long.

In a way, Jaron enjoyed watching them squirm, they'd crossed a line by not telling him about Queen Danika's missing investigators sooner.

Was this how Mott felt each time Jaron did something he wasn't supposed to and got himself caught?

"Your Majesty, we-," Oberson began, but he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"We'll discuss the situation when the ambassador arrives," said Jaron.

However, Feall didn't agree with Jaron's declaration, it seemed. "If I must be honest, we don't even know the situation anymore."

"Lady Amarinda does, and we'll wait for her to come before we make any assumptions, Lord Feall. I'm a little disappointed, I thought we were friendly enough to discuss political matters."

Feall frowned, and didn't respond.

Boredom was turning Jaron's feet to stone. He hated being bored. There was too much to do and too much to see.

And it was raining still.

He promised Fink they'd go out and hunt for frogs to terrorize Roden with.

The door to Jaron's study creaked open, and in walked Amarinda in a wide-necked blue gown. Her hair was strung up in a golden net. There wasn't any sign of a frown on her face. She dipped her head in greeting when Jaron, Feall, and Oberson stood up.

"My lords," she smiled. "I've brought several papers with me if you'd much rather read my words rather than listen to what I have to say."

"Please, start from the beginning. Reading wastes time," Jaron waved his hand in a dismissing motion. He was joking, of course.

Oberson shrunk in his seat with his head in his hands, but aside from his posture, didn't voice any complaint about listening to Amarinda's debrief.

There were some people who could dominate their foes on the battlefield. Others could crush their enemies without shedding a drop of blood. They could outwit their opponents with words.

Amarinda was a battle master when it came to using words for weapons. She never degraded her opponents with crude words. Never compared people to dehumanizing objects. She recognized that while people didn't agree with her, they were still human beings.

This was how she guided her foes into a corner, their only option being to take her hand and join her cause.

Her goal was not to destroy. Her goal was to create, that's what Tobias claimed.

And he was right.

Amarinda created gateways for better ideals.

Jaron caught himself grinning as he prepared for what Amarinda had to say.

She clasped her hands behind her back. "Gentlemen, we share a home country. One we take pride in. We've given many privileges to those who prove themselves to be just servants of society, but unfortunately, there was an abuse of power several years ago. I know you are aware of what happened on Idunn Craich to Noble House Thay. Rumors were sparked and an entire family was executed without a proper trial.

"Though Their Majesties Queen Danika and King Norman don't condone chasing every rumor they hear, they've made an exception. They were informed that Mireldis Thay, who would've been a child during her house's execution, managed to escape into Carthya. Many of the most skilled researchers and investigators were sent to Carthya to confirm these rumors. Their goal was to find evidence supporting Thay's innocence, and bring her home.They were stopped on their way here for several days, and during that time, I was informed that you King Oberson, went out of your way to visit them without informing the Carthyan Crown that they'd arrived," Amarinda held her head high, almost challenging Oberson to deny her claims.

He didn't, not couldn't he.

Many people had seen him ride out to meet with Danika's representatives.

A heavy pause hung over the air. Both Jaron and Amarinda were waiting for either men to try to deny her claims.

When they didn't speak, Jaron nodded. It was his turn to continue the conversation.

"Lord Feall, I was told by my captain of the guard that the investigators who were sent here were, in actuality, trying to find evidence against Thay, and that you were promoting the search in defiance of Queen Danika's orders, is this true?" Jaron kept his gaze steady, looking for any flaws in Feall's face that would betray him.

Another heavy pause.

Feall didn't squirm, and he looked at Jaron with a fierce, burning loyalty in his eyes. "King Jaron, I did request that the investigators search for evidence against Thay as well."

He fell silent.

Probably waiting for Jaron to condemn him.

However, Jaron was intrigued. He appreciated Feall's honesty. It was something that didn't come often within circles of power. Jaron motioned for Feall to continue.

"I felt a duty to ensure justice," Feall remained stoic. "While I do believe that Thay is innocent, I don't agree with only playing one side. Without considering if House Thay was really guilty, it is possible that Queen Danika's quest for reparations will bring disaster upon Bymar. Thay would likely take revenge, and as a servant to my country and to yours, I will not allow that to happen."

Amarinda's face darkened, but only for a moment. If Jaron hadn't known her so well, he would've missed her momentary weakness.

Though he wanted to support his friend, Jaron couldn't deny that Feall had a perfectly good point.

People weren't black and white.

Too much mystery shrouded what happened with House Thay.

"Do you have any reason to believe that Thay would cause harm?" asked Jaron as he tapped his chin.

Perhaps he should grow a small beard. People might take him more seriously if he stroked his beard each time he was about to say something. Many regents tried to do that, usually it was right before they did their best to be an advisor to Jaron.

If you were going to act the part, you needed to look the part.

To Jaron's surprise, it was Oberson who answered the question, and not Feall. The portly king withdrew a letter from within his coat. "The seal belongs to Thay, and you- and you can read what she wrote yourself. It was sent to me, but it- but it is clearly directed at Lord Feall."

Jaron beckoned for the letter.

The words had been written in jet black ink, and the paper was much cleaner than Jaron would've expected. The curling letters obviously belonged to a woman.

Several words had been misspelled:

King Obrson, I understand you've travelled with lord Feall. you know how much he owes me, and I reqest that you give him to me. if you comply, I promise I wont bother you again. please understand my perspective on this, you know me, sir, you know my family

So, Feall did indeed have a good reason to think that Thay was guilty.

"What would you do with Thay if you found her?" Amarinda kept a calm demeanor.

"I would return her to Queen Danika," Feall explained "Unless, however, she attacks me outright. In which case I would have jurisdiction to decide her fate. An eye for an eye."

"Those laws may work in Bymar, but that's not how we do things here."

"Then, by all means, my lady, I would try to go through with Carthya's judicial process."

Unlike other countries, Jaron didn't enjoy upholding the notion that for every crime committed, you could commit the same in return. Instead, he'd tried to emulate Mendenwal's way of enforcing justice: a vote by a body of people. Typically, two options were given, usually suggested by those who'd been the victim of the crime and the other given by the king.

Death penalties for crimes had to be completely unanimous.

"Do you think that Thay is trying to attack you still?" Amarinda asked, her hands clasped behind her back once again.

Both Feall and Oberson nodded.

"Which explains why he's looking for the Faola," nodded Jaron.

"Captain Harlowe informed me that the Faola only began traipsing through Carthya a few days before King Oberson and I arrived."

"This doesn't excuse the fact that you didn't tell us that you lied to me and Lady Amarinda about Queen Danika's representatives."

"And I humbly apologize for that," Feall held his hand over his heart. "If there is a way for me to prove my regret, tell me, and I will do so."

If he and Feall had been better friends, Jaron would've made a joke about the only way to prove his loyalty was by cleaning Jaron's feet, but he doubted the offer would go over well.

Jaron looked to Amarinda, wondering if she had anything in mind.

She only frowned ever so slightly.

There were many ways that Jaron could force Feall to prove his loyalty. Cruel and humiliating ways. Feall had to have known that. He had to have known the depth of his words.

He'd quite literally given Jaron power over him.

But Jaron didn't enjoy watching people endure humiliation of any sorts. He didn't think that proving loyalty should come at the expense of anyone's dignity.

A clever idea crossed Jaron's mind.

"I'd like you to continue helping Captain Harlowe in patrolling the streets of Drylliad," began Jaron, carefully masking his cleverness. "But you must leave capturing the Faola to him, as well as my friend, Mott. You must trust us to take care of the situation, and that's how I'll know that I can continue to trust you."

Feall inhaled deeply, his brows furrowing together. "Sir, I can't, what you-. No, I mean yes. I will do as you ask, your Majesty."

"Take good care to tread lightly, Lord Feall, this test also represents King Oberson."

"What?" King Oberson burst, his chubby cheeks jiggling with his ferocious outcry. "You can't do this! I need Feall to protect me!"

"You have all of Carthya's guards to keep you safe, as well as your own," Amarinda pointed out.

Several more spluttering protests escaped through Oberson's plump mouth, but eventually, he realized that no amount of begging would get Jaron to change his mind.

A victory, in a way.

Jaron was getting another capable military leader to ensure safety in his city, he'd done his best to uphold justice, and he managed to gain a better understanding about the Thay dilemma.

Unfortunately, however, he also recognized that he probably wouldn't ever understand what happened on Idunn Craich.

But perhaps Avenia's king, Kippenger, might know a little bit.

He hadn't been to Avenia in ages, and was overdue for a visit to check in on the reforming nation. Jaron made a mental note to suggest a diplomatic mission to Sparling.

Everybody could use a little change of scenery.

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do, your majesty?" Feall asked, sitting as tall as he could in his chair.

"Yes, I'd quite like it if you gave me your desserts as well. Especially the fancier ones with the tiny decorations." Jaron frowned when Amarinda snorted, as he was being completely serious.

A tiny smile flickered across Feall's face. "If that is what you wish, your Majesty."

"It is what I wish, actually."

"Then I solemnly swear to do all that I can to ensure that your wish is fulfilled. When would you like me to begin patrolling the streets? Would you prefer me to ask Captain Harlowe my questions, or would you like me to ask you?"

Ah, Jaron hadn't thought of any questions that might need answering.

"Go to Captain Harlowe," he said. "And if Captain Harlowe can't answer them, bring your questions to me. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir.”

Several days ago, Imogen’s new lady-in-waiting, Renlyn Karise, pointed out just how bland the great hall was. Of course, Jaron had taken down and sold many decorations on purpose, but Lady Renlyn’s various attempts to sell him exquisite imported decor were slowly growing on him.

No, he needed to use the royal purse to better the lives of his subjects first.

Beautification could come later.

When he settled into his throne and allowed for his first subject to come forward, Jaron fooled himself into thinking that court would be smooth and quick.

However, as he heard his forty-ninth claim about chickens, he realized that court was going to drag on into the next decade.

It was then that Jaron began wondering if he should heed Renlyn’s advice and have her decorate the great hall.

Maybe he’d have something more interesting to look at than whitewashed stone walls.

Jaron tapped his chin as he listened to complaint after complaint after complaint. He did his best to listen. Did his best to be a good king, but his patience was running out.

“We have never had a dispute between property before,” said a man from outside the city walls. He was holding a chicken, and pointing at the other villager beside him ever so often. “Always got along, me an’ him, we never did fight. Respected his property, I did, an’ he respected mine. But one day a chicken wandered through both of our yards-”

The chicken holding villager’s friend cut in. “A chicken wandered through both a’ our yards an’ then laid an egg on the line between our two properties!”

“We didn’t really worry about it because we’ve both got our chickens. It wasn’t really worth our time.”

“And then the egg hatched, it did! An’ now we don’t know what to do wif it! It’s a good layer, we’ve been tradin’ off every couple a days, but that just doesn’t cut it! We need you to decide for us!” Finished the second villager, vehemently pointing at the chicken tucked under the first villager’s arm.

“Well, I suppose that answers an age old question. What came first, the chicken, or the egg?” Jaron mused, buying himself time through a joke.

Both villagers frowned.

By the Saints, he didn’t like explaining jokes, humor always lost when it needed to be explained.

"There's a riddle people tend to ask when they want to annoy somebody," Jaron explained, sitting forwards in his throne. "They ask what came first, the chicken? Or the egg? And in this case, it was the chicken who came first. Actually, I suppose even that chicken came from an egg. What a conundrum."

"But who gets the chicken?" Asked the second villager with a frown.

"Who cares for it more?"

Both men raised their hands, trying to jostle each other out of the way. The second villager raised his hand to smack the first villager across the back of his bald head.

The first villager only tucked the chicken into his chest and ducked.

No blows were given, the second villager wasn't stupid enough to start a fight in the throne room.

"I have a proposition," said Jaron. He knew it didn't really matter, as he was the king, but he tried to involve his subjects in decision making as much as he possibly could.

"We're listening, your Majesty." The second villager bowed until his nose brushed his boots.

On the other hand, the first villager only bowed as far as he could without risking dropping the chicken.

A slight smirk crossed Jaron's face. "How many eggs does the chicken lay each day?"

"One, like the other chickens," the second villager nodded. "I checked every morning while I housed the chicken."

"Actually she lays one egg on the first day of the week, one on the second day, but she lays two on the third day if she is fed scraps from the table instead a grain," the first villager said proudly, holding the fat hen up for everyone to see.

The hen gave a tiny cluck.

"It's worse than I thought," Jaron muttered, wishing he had Mott beside him to joke with.

"You- you haven't decided who gets the chicken?" The first villager stuttered. "But-"

"He's the king, you fool, he can take as much time as he wants."

Jaron tilted his head at the first villager, who was nervously petting the chicken he cradled.

He wanted to smile with somebody. Wanted to smile about the fact that somebody loved their chicken so much that they knew how many eggs she laid every day.

If he were a cruel king, Jaron would've called for the hen to go to the kitchens, only to declare that he wasn't being serious and give the hen back to her rightful owner.

But over time, he'd learned that some tricks and pranks weren't truly funny.

"I know what's best in this situation," Jaron declared, waving the two villagers away and motioning for the next petitioner to come forward. "The man holding the chicken the same way he'd hold his newborn son gets to give her a permanent home."

He ignored the complaints from the second villager as they were escorted out of the great hall.

The next petitioner was a young man, requesting that his father be taken out of debtor's prison. Jaron, who was prepared to fight with nobles over situations with people in debt, agreed on the premise that the young man return to inform them if there was another threat from debt-collectors.

Ah, Jaron did get quite the rise out of showing kindness when the nobles had none.  

Court went much quicker after that. As he thought of the first villager happily carrying his hen home, Jaron grinned.

How somebody could love a chicken so much, he didn't know.

Late into the afternoon, Harlowe made his way into the great hall, much to Jaron's relief.

He stood and clasped Harlowe's weathered hand, unashamed of how big his smile had grown. "I'm hoping you came to relieve me of my duties."

"I have, actually," Harlowe said with a grin. "Today was much busier than anybody expected, and I didn't think it quite fair to keep you cooped up inside."

"On the contrary, I didn't mind being held up here for once. It's raining with enough fury to challenge the Devils."

"Ah, but you won't let that stop you from what you wish to do with your afternoon, I hope," chuckled Harlowe, his blue eyes sparkling with a glimmer of content.

"Absolutely not." Jaron couldn't hide his smile. "My bones are aching from sitting."

"I wish I could tell you that aching goes away, but it only gets worse. No, no, I tease."

Jaron couldn't resist. He threw his arms around Harlowe's neck in a sloppy embrace. "Thank you, thank you for coming to fill in."

Harlowe patted Jaron's shoulder. "As prime regent, it's my obligation to ensure that the king can handle his duties. And as someone who cares about you, it's my obligation to make sure you don't run yourself into the ground."

It was still odd. . .

Having multiple people care about his well being.

"I really appreciate it, Harlowe, and I mean it."

"Then go, my king." That sparkling contentment in Harlowe's eyes rivaled the lazy Roving River. "Your friends await you."

Was it wrong to take pride in what he’d managed to set up?

It had taken almost all afternoon, and required the help from not only Roden and Tobias, but from Jolly, Lady Renlyn, and Mott too.

In the end, it was perfect.

For several weeks, Jaron had been meaning to take Imogen away from the hustle and bustle of castle life. Although they weren’t in a position to leave for more than a day or two, they could manage to spare a night away from their duties.

And he’d finally done it.

“Don’t tell Imogen anything,” Jaron said firmly, trying his best to stare down Lady Renlyn Karise as they stood in one of the castle hallways.

It wasn’t easy.

Lady Renlyn was taller than him by a good inch.

“I promise I won’t tell,” Renlyn crossed her arms. “But be thankful, the queen isn’t always the type to enjoy a surprise.”

“See, people say that, but then get excited when they’re surprised.”

Renlyn only stared in response.

“Mad that I got you cornered?” No, no answer from that either. Jaron waved his hands in defeat. “You’re dismissed, I don’t need you and your disapproval.”

“Disapproval?” Renlyn arched an eyebrow.

“Yes! Disapproval, you’re not exactly subtle about it, Lady Karise.”

“Good, it means I’ve finally got my point across.”

“Aren’t you in a feisty mood today?” Jaron snickered, putting his hands on his hips.

He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he wanted from Renlyn. She was remaining completely placid. “This is how I always behave, my king.”

“Is not, you’re nicer to me.”

“On the contrary, I think I’m being nicer to you now.”

He’d known the Karises before.

From his days when his family was still alive.

Jaron hadn’t been the closest to Renlyn when they were children, it’s true. She’d rather mix various ingredients together to eliminate her least favorite dolls while Jaron would rather track dirt all over the place.

In a way, it also reflected the way they handled situations at court.

Renlyn wasn’t afraid to do what needed to be done. Already the notorious gossipers of court were spreading their opinions on Renlyn’s ambition. She had but one fear: Recognition. Most of her opponents slipped away in the night, never to disturb her again.

Jaron would much rather stay away from gossipers and the like.

Made things less messy.

Unfortunately, Jaron didn’t get his retort spoken in time, as Renlyn walked away, taking the final say with her as she went to Imogen’s study.

Their exchange couldn’t bring Jaron down from the excitement searing through his veins.

Each step he took made him feel light, yet heavy. Time couldn’t pass fast enough. He was beginning to pace. To the wall. Back to where he’d stood. To the wall again. Back to where he stood. The pattern continued for what seemed like ages, but Jaron knew better than that.

The clock stationed by the door, a huge monster of wood and metal, chimed.

It was better that a few minutes passed rather than no minutes at all, Jaron reasoned.

And then Imogen quietly stepped into the room.

Dressed in a pale blue blouse with matching split skirts, Imogen couldn’t hide her smile. For a moment, Jaron suspected that Renlyn spilled the secret surprise waiting just outside the castle walls.

He offered an arm out to Imogen, escorting her through the great hall and out into the courtyard.

“I really hope there’s no crocodiles involved,” Imogen muttered as Jaron helped her into Mystic’s saddle.

Jaron cringed as comically as he could, and then swung into place right behind Imogen. “Well, ah, guess you’re not going to like what I have in store.”

Imogen’s laugh was worth all of the hassle Jaron had put into his special surprise.

The sun was barely dipping down below the horizon, throwing golden rays of light into the crisp air. A slight shimmer appeared on Imogen’s cheeks. Jaron pressed a kiss to her temple, her hair, her chin, anywhere he could reach.

She was giggling when she pushed his face away.

“Let me kiss you, silly girl,” Jaron hummed, only to once again be pushed away.

“Absolutely not, it’s embarrassing!”

“I want the entire kingdom to know how much I love my wife! It’s not embarrassing at all!”

“Yes it is!”

“No it’s not!”

“Get your filthy lips off my hair,” Imogen laughed. “I’m serious, Jaron! You’re going to run us into a-,” suppressed giggles prevented her from finishing her sentence.

“Last one, I promise.” True to his word, Jaron pressed one last kiss to Imogen’s temple, and pulled away.

Imogen leaned back against his chest. “Renlyn and I were discussing what to do with the trio of children Roden brought to us.”

“Please tell me you gave them new names.”

“We suggested it, but they didn’t seem to catch onto the idea.”

“What did you and Lady Renlyn decide? Are you going to ship them off?”

“Quite the contrary, actually,” Imogen was smiling, Jaron could hear it in her voice. “Renlyn took the subject to a business ally she has in court, and the children are to become wards here in court. We’ll be able to keep an eye on them.”

“I do love more company, maybe those three will take the spotlight off of my antics.”

“Very unlikely, but you can always hope that’ll happen.”

“Oh Imogen of such little faith.”

“Oh Jaron of such high energy.”

With a snicker, Jaron buried his face in her hair for a moment. “Copying my words now are you?”

“I suppose I am.”

“Imitation is the highest form of flattery.”

“That’s what I’ve heard,” Imogen countered. “Do you prefer that I copy everything you say? Is that what makes you happy?”

“Is that what makes me happy? No, it doesn’t.”

“Then what does?”

“Being with you.”

A blush spread across Jaron’s face despite the fact that he was the one saying silly flowering comments, not the one they were directed at.

He loved Imogen.

She was safe.

Without the company of guards, it was much easier to have a personal conversation.

Much easier for both Jaron and Imogen to just. . . be together.

“I, ah, I confronted Feall and King Oberson,” Jaron said over the sound of Mystic’s hooves on Drylliad’s cobblestone streets.

Imogen reached back, her hand trailing down the side of his face. “And what happened?”

The simple, shy gesture left warmth careening through his toes. Jaron tightened his arms around her waist. His heart pounded through his ribcage, but not with fear.

His heart pounded with pure, sunshine comfort.

Sunshine comfort that didn’t fade away with each new morning.

“I questioned them both, and made an offer to Feall. He trusts us to take care of the Faola, and I won’t expel him back to Bymar,” said Jaron. “I, ah, I’m playing this game for the long run.”

“As you should,” Imogen gestured to a group of ducklings swimming in the Roving River, then motioned for Jaron to continue.

He shrugged, “I plan on speaking with Kippenger.”

“Regarding House Thay?”

“Yes, but also no. Kippenger is my ally despite the history between us. I want to ensure his, and Avenia’s, success. I want to know if Carthya needs to send aid in any form, and if we need to, I fully intend to send the best.”

Kippenger was a new king.

There was no doubt that there were some Avenians who disagreed on Kippenger’s right to reign.

Revolution had to be brewing on their minds.

Imogen paused, connecting what Jaron said and what he was implying. “You need a backup in case you have to send Roden and military reinforcements to Avenia.”

“I don’t want to put Mott in any more danger than he puts himself in,” Jaron muttered. “Feall’s reputation is spotless. He wouldn’t be there for very long either, maybe a few weeks. And it’s-”

“Jaron, you don’t have to explain your choices. I trust your judgement.” Imogen said, but then she tilted her head, preparing to amend her statement. “I trust your judgement when it comes to people.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Though she didn’t say anything, Jaron could feel her quiet grin radiating through the air.

They rode in silence through the woods, waving at the few people they passed, and breathing in the sunset air.

And yet, despite the comfort, Jaron couldn’t fight the anxiety gnawing at his insides any longer.

What if Imogen didn’t like what he’d set out for her?

What if-

No.

If Lady Renlyn Karise, notorious stone-faced, heartless, ambitious businesswoman, liked what had been set out, Imogen certainly would.

The road curved left. Imogen only protested slightly when Jaron guided Mystic to continue straight.

“We, ah, I’m going to dismount,” Jaron stuttered. “But you can stay on, I’ll just guide Mystic.”

“I can walk,” Imogen insisted.

“If- ah, if you want to, I won’t stop you.”

He knew she’d enjoy the surprise, and yet, he was afraid.

Afraid that she wouldn’t-

No. Imogen was his wife. There was nothing to be scared of.

Nimbly, Jaron dismounted, and held out a hand for Imogen to do the same. He held Mystic’s reins with one hand, and entwined his fingers with Imogen’s with the other.

“Your palms are sweaty, Jaron. Are you alright?”

“I dipped them in the fountain before we came, they must not have dried.”

“You’re acting a little- oh.” Her face shifted from confusion, and then to shock.

Before them, Jaron had brought a ragged quilt he’d found in Tithio, boasting squares Imogen’s mother had made herself. Large pillows were scattered about in all shapes and sizes, some hidden behind additional blankets.

Plates of food rested on curling iron stands. A bucket of ice housed two large bottles of something sweet, Jaron hadn’t been able to decide what to take, so he relied on his head chef’s opinion. Candles on holders and stands were placed in clusters in strategic positions. Crystals hung from tree branches.

“I thought about bringing music, but I could only think of Jolly, and I didn’t want him eating everything I brought,” Jaron said sheepishly. “This- this,ah, isn’t all. I have-”

“I love it, Jaron, I absolutely love it,” Imogen was quiet, her fingers steepled together and resting against her nose.

“That’s not all, I, ah, there’s more to the surprise.”

Fink’s head poked out from one of the trees, but thankfully disappeared the second Jaron frantically shooed him away.

Imogen was still marvelling at the quilt. “This is perfect.”

Once again, Fink appeared.

Changing his plan, Jaron motioned for Fink to bring the final gift. The transaction happened in the knick of time, Fink was dashing back to the castle before Imogen looked up from the quilt squares.

Jaron held the package behind his back. “I, um, I couldn’t resist. I wanted to spend time with you. Just you, Imogen.”

“I really appreciate it,” her smile was tinged with a bright pink blush. “I don’t-, I don’t really know what to say.”

“This will probably make it worse, then.”

“Jaron? What are you-?”

He held out the package for Imogen to see.

In his hands, rested a cream colored cat with a bright pink bow hanging loosely from its neck. Imogen covered her face with her arm for a moment. When she finally looked at the kitten again, she was beaming.

“You got me a kitten,” she mumbled, covering her bright pink cheeks with her hands. “Is it mine?”

“If you want it, yes. And ‘it’ is a ‘she’, if that influences what her name is going to be,” Jaron said as he sat down beside Imogen, holding the small cat out to her.

“Where did you find her?”

Jaron didn’t mean for an instant scowl to ruin his smile. “Renlyn sold it to me.”

“Ah, I think I know why,” Imogen scratched the cat’s ears. “We were discussing different royal pets. Supposedly, there are specific cats you can train to listen to you.”

“I’m not quite sure how true that is, especially coming from Renlyn.”

“We’ll just have to find out.”

The tiny cat mewed, and tried to climb up Imogen’s blouse sleeve. She untied the ribbon, cradling the cat to herself.

Nothing in the world could’ve made Jaron feel the same way that Imogen’s smile did. 

[onepdumpsterfire]

Disclaimer: These stories are based ‘loosely’ on the game Obey me shall we date. The major stuff will be the same, but here and there the story will be changed or embellished. It is just an AU and I do not own the game the characters, from both One Piece or Obey Me, nor do I own One Piece in general. It would be cool though…

Warning: The characters will mostly be ooc and for the most part will not have the same background as in the anime/manga. The reader’s age will be above consent; the exact number is up to you.

Nola

Devildom!AU

(pt6/?)

Various Characters X Reader

Shanks heard about the fight the brothers had. He’d heard about how you got hurt. At first, he was angry at Sabo for doing what he did. If anything happened to the exchange student this whole thing would be a waste. He punished Sabo for what he did. Beating him bloody. Shanks decided he couldn’t take his eyes off him until he was sure he wouldn’t rage out again. So he proposed a three-day retreat. He could keep an eye on Sabo, and make all three realms get along. He needed to see results in his plan, if this was the only way to do it then it’ll have to do.

As courteous as he was, he made it known that this request was no entreaty. You all would show and be in your best behavior. No protests. No complaints. No objections. And so, that is how you found yourself taking a tour of his palace. Benn, One of Shank’s loyal servants, was explaining the more historic artifacts that decorated the halls. It was interesting to hear the different stories each piece held. One, in particular, held more than the rest. It was a painting of a woman she dressed in clothing from what seemed like the mid-1800s. She wore a high waisted baby-blue gown with a white lacy bonnet and shawl. This seemed to be from the human world. Her out of time style clothing wasn’t the only thing that drew attention to her. She seemed to be moving…

“Sanji!” came her scream. The painting can speak? Sanji looked puzzled. Had he done something to the painting to make them mad? “Oh, I know you! Violet, from when I visited Spain in the human world.” So he had. “You hornswoggler, pigeon-livered, ratbag!” 

“Now, now, sweetheart. No need to get nasty.” Sanji barely seemed to consider her as anything. What wrong had he done to make her say such strange…insults? “What brings you down here? Was the power you gained from me not enough?”

“Power?! From you?! Yeah right! You left me for dead!” Her shrieks shook the frame she was imprisoned in. “the coven betrayed me and trapped me in here! I’ve been passed around and showcased like one of those wagtail wenches! This is all your fault! If only you had st-”

“If only I had what? Stayed and helped? If I recall correctly all you asked for was ‘unimaginable power’ to bring those meaters of the coven to their knees” Sanji approached the painting, “If you didn’t know how to properly use them and was outwitted by those Vazey, Mumbling coves, it was on you.” His tone was dark and airy. Like he was trying to threaten her without letting the others know, but by how the room seemed to resonate around him, it wasn’t that convincing. “You Flapdoodle! I’ll make you pay!” You what…. Flapdoodle, really? You didn’t get much of a chance to wonder what that word implied. She let out bright light, oils swirling inside the painting. They turned into a vortex sucking everything near inside. First, it was Sanji then Nami and Ace. the last ones it took were you and Kid who grabbed on to law for support, but they were both dragged in anyway. 

The lights where you appeared were dim. Beside you was Kid and Law, separated from the rest. “We need to find the others,” was the first thing said in the eerie quietness of the corridor you were in. “What we need to do is find out where we are.” An interjection from the other male. “Not the time to fight, both of you.”

“We’ll look around, figure out where we are and find the others at the same time.” Both men looked at each other, surprised by your sudden leadership. “Yes, ma’am,” Law mocked you but listened to your orders nonetheless. Not like he had much of a choice. After the pact, every order you gave no matter how small, was followed. You didn’t like making them do things, giving them orders, but when the hands were down… You needed them to focus right now. 

The path twisted and turned in many directions. There were dead ends and traps, like a maze. For the leader of this makeshift gang, you had to take the back seat in most dangers that befell you. They were too grand to fight off yourself. If one thing came out of this, you learned the extent of both your companion’s capabilities and an invaluable piece of information. While you held a pact with them their demon forms wouldn’t hurt you. The power that they release, that is.

Their presence felt otherworldly, like Sabo’s. Their combined power would have pulverized you. It was just as great and magnificent as the first time you were able to see it. When Sabo threw you against the tomb’s wall. This time you could hold your own against this gripping force that radiated out of them. Your sight was clear and your head didn’t hurt. Your body didn’t weaken at the proximity. It was probably because of the pact you made with them.

Their forms changed as Sabo’s had. Law grew tusk-like horns that protruded from the back of his head, wrapping around to the front. They were pearl-white and sharp. Under his coat there was a tail, thin with a tuft of black hair at the end. Kid Had also grown one of his own, a golden tail that faded into pitch black. His own set of horns came out from the top of his head, twisting into their sharp endings. His teeth ground into fangs. They looked savaged like they’d maul anything that crosses his path. 

They both ferociously protected you from any trap that was set up in the labyrinth. Tearing into anything that moved and ripping you away from any danger that befell you. Eventually, you did come across the others, having a hammering headache as your guide. The two demons had to go ahead in front of you to tell Ace and Sanji to turn back from their demon forms so you could step closer. Nami, on the other hand, wasn’t affected by it. Her magic gives her protection from their power. “Oh my sweet, Y/n. it’s okay to come closer now.” Sanji called out for you. “R-right,” you turned the corner to meet them.

“Now we need to find an exit.”

“Darling, how I love it when you take charge.” Sanji was a flirtatious fool, no wonder that woman, Violet, was mad at him. However, she should have known better than to cross a whole coven. Pushing you in front, the two brothers you made a pact with ‘protected’ you from their brother. Not wanting you close the lascivious demon.

There was more walking, the labyrinth seemed endless. Yes labyrinth, Ace had filled you all in about it when you caught up. It was below the castle, and nearly inescapable, to those who didn’t know the way. But a powerful mage could figure it out with a spell or two, she just wanted to find the others first. With you guys here there was nothing stopping Nami. She started her spell, but there was this rustling coming from the chambers. It was a persistent sound, like sliding on the floor. Nami stopped her spell to hear it better, “what is that?” All present stopped to listen to the low creeping sound that was… getting closer. 

A wall down the path to your left was moving, you could swear that it didn’t lead to a dead-end before. “Guys, what is that?” You pointed at the scaly impasse that seemed to be moving to block all exit points. “Oh, fuck,” Law whispered under his breath, “That’s my pet Mindsnare Naga, Nola.” Kid punched his arm, “a mindsnare, really Law, really.” They were nasty creatures who seek power above all else. They’re immortal beasts that needn’t worry about time, creating convoluted plans to get to their goal. The highest-ranking person in the location they decide to nest in. They live to control and dominate their victims into submission. They suck them out of life with their venom then fill them with false memories and a built personality to help them reach their goal. If it was deep in the bowels of the castle had it already started it’s schemes? Does the ruler of Devildom know what resides underneath his very feet? You could worry about the troubles of the palace after you manage to escape its clutches.

Law had forbidden you all from harming his ‘poor Nola’. The others protested though he left them no choice, threatening that he’d destroy everything they loved if they were to harm a scale on the serpent. He gave them no choice but to oblige. Crossing the avatar of envy was one of the last things anyone wanted to do. He knew how to ruin any person until they gave up on themselves. He’s sent many into an endless cycle of loathing and suffering. “You’re its master, command it!” Kid yelled at law. “I can’t, she escaped when she was still young. I didn’t have time to train her.” How useless! How were you all supposed to defend yourselves now? You can’t hurt it, much less fight it. “I should have known she’d head to the palace. Her kind charm leaders of lands to do their bidding. Shanks must have found her and trapped her down here. My poor baby.” Not the time to hand out sympathy to something that wants to kill you. “Then what are we gonna do,” Ace piped in, the first time he talked since you’ve all gotten together. “We can’t fight it-”

“Her.”

“Not the time, Law.” If anyone was pissed at the scenario you seemed to be stuck in, it was wrath himself. “Don’t those things grow a second head if you kill it?” Law rolled his eyes at his brother’s ineptitude. “No, that’s a Hydra of Lerna. And they only regrow TWO heads from one that was chopped off, not if you kill it.” Thanks for sharing the knowledge, not helping though. “A mindsnare naga charms its enemies to kill them. Which is what she should be doing now….so we better think of something. Fast.” Law said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Why not try to be a little less smug and a little more helpful? “I know what we can do.” It was Nami this time who spoke up. “If I use my pact with Sanji I can boost his own power and mesmerize the snake.”

“Not a snake.”

“No one cares.” Nami turned to Sanji. “Are you ready?” He gave her a seducing smile. “For you? Always.” Nami raised her hand, a ball of glowing light sitting in her palm. Power flowed from her and Sanji seemed to be transmitting her energy. “Praebueris tua poteste quod tibi commodare mea. Nos hanc novam transmittat; coniuncta cum virtute non moveretur a te transiret ponam inimicos.” Her incantations forced an unyielding power to surge out of Sanji. “Don’t worry, Y/n. with my power I’ll protect you, so you won’t pass out.”

Sanji’s demon form is an incubus. Leathery wings bent to make a heart around his head then they straightened into a fine point. Short curved horns came out of each side of his head, and a long thick tail with an arrowhead tip at the end. He radiated an aura that was seen flowing out of him. The boost Nami gave him made his already grand power even more so. Sanji flew through the space between the ceiling and the top of the snake. Following it till he reached the head. Nola had wrapped herself around every way out. She was now coming in through the last passageway with Sanji in tow. He had charmed her on his way over, the serpent didn’t hold any more malice. “Get on! Nola is gonna show us the way out.” Law grabbed you by the waist and jumped on, the others in right behind you. “If she knows the way out then why is she still in here?” Sanji chuckled at Law’s question. “She’s not imprisoned. Shanks found her when she was young and let her stay down here. She gets fed every day and can go out if she pleases.” Law looked sad. His serpent had chosen a different master. As much as he loved her, there wasn’t anything he could do. She was just another of the nine monsters in this realm that guarded the nine circles now. 

After you finally got out of the labyrinth you all had dinner prepared by the demons. Shanks announced that the next day you will be doing a scavenger hunt in the palace. Hence the tour of the place. The lower demons had continued the tour after you vanished, so most of what the ones left standing saw was a mystery to you. The scavenger hunt tomorrow was gonna be hard. All of them knew this and demonstrated it with a groan that passed from one to another. After supper, Shanks separated you into groups. You were with Sanji and Ace. Kid was with Law and Robin. Nami was with Luffy and Usopp. Lastly was Sabo and Shanks.

Kid had protested, yelling that you had a pact with him and should be placed with him, but Sabo told him to zip it and follow orders. You all split up into separate bedrooms for the night. Nami staying back to have a word with you. She lent you some of her power for the rest of the retreat. She said you deserve to have some form of protection for the rest of the trip, not to mention she wanted you to have a good time with the rest. You were a bit confused by her sudden willfulness to share power, something you didn’t even know could be done, but Nami was very front face about everything. She wouldn’t have lied about her intentions. Feeling a tad closer everyone you made your way to your shared room with the rest. Today was a long day, though it was filled with many fun and exciting things.

1800’s slang-

* Hornswoggler- a fraud or a cheat

* Flapdoodle- sexually incompetent man

* Meater/Pigeon-Livered- coward

* Mumbling cove- a shabby person

* Ratbag- a general term of abuse

* Vazey- stupid

* Wagtail- promiscuous woman/ dissolute man

[fangirlshrewt97]

The Start of the Rest of Our Lives

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: Good Omens

Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: No warnings apply.

Additional Tags: Fluff, Picnic, New Year's Eve, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Love Confessions, Getting Together

Summary: Crowley finally plans that picnic his angel proposed so many years ago, and hopes that everything works out according to plan.

(Spoilers: It actually works even better than he expected for once).

 For: @doomed-spectacles

 Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22054321

                                        ---------------------------

Crowley was trying his best not to vibrate himself out of the car as he trembled from nerves and excitement at the day he had been working towards for nearly three months now. Since the Not-Apocalypse, the demon had made full use of his freedom from Hell to spend as much time as he could with his angel without both of them having to look over their shoulders or make excuses to spend time together. He could confidently say these days had been some of the most satisfying days he has lived on Earth since here was posted here over 6000 years ago. 

Of course, there had been moments in history that were precious to him, and humans he had met he would carry in his (non-existent) demonic heart forever, but nothing and no one could top his angel. Since they had outwitted their former employers and were granted the liberty to live their lives mostly unsupervised (neither Heaven or Hell fired anyone, they were far too bureaucratic for that the two had learned when they each received a letter saying the former employers were expecting them to continue their duties, even if there would no longer be direct missions sent to them). This new arrangement (small A because this was not an important enough detail to deserve a capital A) suited the two perfectly, since because one, even if they had gone against their employers, the two had not actually minded doing their jobs (that they were both terrible at said jobs if one read the job description is a matter between them and themselves only). Two, it gave them the chance to “thwart” one another when they tried to pull off something ridiculous, and most importantly, it gave them the chance to still perform miracles on humans without worrying that it would draw their employers attention and bring them to their doorstep.

See the thing with having the cosmic power to defy every law of nature of the universe that non-ethereal or non-occult being is subjected to means that it builds up in you, and you need to let it out every once in a while. Otherwise it creates a feeling not unlike constipation, not that the angel or demon knew what that felt like. But go too long without performing miracles, or at least a large one periodically, and you get an uncomfortable pressure throughout the body as though, which is actually the magic trying to burst out of the mortal flesh. (Side note: There have been a couple of incidents involving non-ethereal and non-occult beings letting the feeling build-up until it was too much and consequently explode out of their mortal flesh into their true forms throughout history. These have been reported as anything from (accurate?) evidence of the existence of God to confirmation of the existence of extraterrestrial life on Earth (again, not entirely false since technically angels and demons are not of the Earth).

Ok, getting back to the story, where were we? Oh right, the demon Crowley was in his car on the way to the Bookshop (capitalized because there are a lot of bookshops in the world, but only one Bookshop. Important enough to deserve the capitalization). He had been planning a surprise for his Angel since the Not-Apocalypse as a way to celebrate, well, everything. Not dying, surviving an apocalypse, paying a surprising small price for having lost the Antichrist and completely screwed up the one job they had, humans being their most human selves, and the World. The World included not just the present physical planet with 7 billion humans and several more trillion animals and other living organisms. The World was the philosophical, and if you asked a certain Angel, the spiritual concept of a place filled with hope and goodness, alongside evil and greed and lust and all the other deadly Sins. It was a place that created wonderful artists, a place filled to the brim with people who if they were called on to help, would help a stranger just because they were in a position to. Humans were created in Her image, but in Crowley’s opinion, they excelled even Her expectations when they chose to be kind. It wasn’t always, hell could attest to the amount of humans who were depraved and evil, and those who just made their short lives even harder for their fellow men. But when it truly counted, humans could also be capable of the most astonishing acts of kindness.

So yes, these were things all worth celebrating. Grated celebrating them closer to the date would probably have been more appropriate, but it hadn’t occurred to the demon at that point. But tonight was December 31, and the humans were gearing up to celebrate the start of a new year, and a new decade. He had been inspired by all the different lists and podcasts, and other various decorations that had been popping around London in preparation for the event. Well, that isn’t fully accurate, but it works for the story.

All of that had resulted in him working to make a special event for this angel so they could usher in this new year in a special way alongside their humans. As 6000 year old creatures, time ran differently for them, and neither put much value in celebrating these measly transitions in time that the humans insisted were important. Also hard to take the new year celebrations so seriously when you have lived through so many different calendar systems, including pre-Gregorian calendars.

He pulled into his spot in front of the shop , hitting the brakes a little to late and nearly driving over the curb and hitting the pedestrian on the crosswalk who shouted at him and gave him the middle finger. Crowley waved him away and snapped his fingers to make sure the Bently was parked correctly before exiting the vehicle. The shop’s door showed a ‘Closed’ sign as always, but that sign never applied to him. He snapped his fingers and walked through the newly opened doors, calling out to his Angel.

“Aziraphale! Where are you?”

“Just a second my dear, I will be right out!” came a muffled reply from upstairs on the second floor.

Shrugging, Crowley sauntered on to his normal sofa and sank down on the seat, spreading his legs and lounging comfortably. He was trying to subtly take deep breaths so he didn’t give himself away too quickly to the angel. If he ruined the surprise now, he would never forgive himself.

“Ahh Crowley, there you are. How are you doing?” Aziraphale asked as he rounded the corner and made his way to the loveseat opposite the demon.

“Ehh, same as always. Listen, do you have any plans for today?”

“Today? I don’t think so, why?”

“Well today is New Year’s eve.”

“Oh! Oh look at that, it is! I had noticed the decorations going up but completely missed the date! Oh how wonderful Crowley.”

“Yes, yes it is great and everything, but look, well…” And then Crowley got stuck. See he had this whole plan in his head about how he was going to be so smooth, how he was going to sweet talk the angel into coming with him on a drive to the countryside, how they were going to have that picnic that Aziraphale had proposed all those years ago. But now, when the time came to actually get the words out, he felt them stop and choke him. There were so many things that could go wrong. What had he been thinking? What if the angel said no? Just because they were good friends and spending so much time together did not necessarily mean the Angel would just go along with all his schemes. What if he thought it was a scheme? And that Crowley was trying to get something from him? Oh Go- Sat- Someone, what if Aziraphale thought Crowley was crazy for doing this?

He was brought out of his panic spiral at a soft touch to his forearm. He blinked a couple times and startled to see that the Angel had moved to hover nervously over him. “Crowley?” Aziraphale asked, and his tone suggested this was not the first time he had called out to him.

“I um-”

“Dear what happened? You were saying something and you froze…”

“I…” Damn it, he hadn’t even gotten the question out and he had already ruined the evening!

“You?”

Crowley wanted to yell, or bite his tongue, or at least give his head a good slam against the wall. He was an idiot. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. Just ask the angel the question. And if the worst case scenario happens, well then, go home and lick his wounds. And possibly sleep through the next week, or month maybe. He hadn’t had a proper long nap in years.

“IwasthinkingwecouldgoforadriveoutofLondontoescapeallthehumanssinceIknowyouaren’tthebiggestfanofalltherackettheymakeatmidnight.” Was what ended up spilling out his mouth in a single exhale. Fucking hell, he wished the earth would open up and swallow him whole already.

“What?” Aziraphale asked as his face shifted from worry to confusion, and he backed away to stand straight. Crowley instantly missed the delicious warmth of the angel from the point of contact that he hadn’t even noticed until it was missing.

Taking a deep breath, Crowley tried again. “I said, I was thinking we could go for a drive out of London to escape all the humans since I know you aren’t the biggest fan of all the racket they make at midnight. The countryside will be a lot quieter since there will be less people, and if we leave now, we might even get out of London before sunset.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale exclaimed before looking around as if considering his decision. He only looked away for a few seconds before a satisfied smile settled on his lips, making Crowley’s heart thunder. “You know what, I think that is an absolutely splendid idea. Give me 10 minutes to get ready alright.”

The thundering was so loud, Crowley could barely hear him. “Whatever you need ‘Ziraphale.”

Go-Sat-Someone help him, a smile should not be able to be so bright, Crowley thought.

His hands had started to shake again, and he used the time to take deep breaths and get his nerves under control again. Ok, everything was going well. The angel didn’t hate him, and he was even looking forward to this. Part 1 of the plan was a success. On to Part 2.

As promised, Aziraphale was ready to leave in 10 minutes, and the angel and demon exited the Bookshop and entered the Bentley. As soon as they started driving away from the shop, the car’s radio crackled to life and Queen started to blare through the speakers. Crowley turned it down a couple notches so that they could still talk, and zig-zagged his way through London’s traffic, using a minor miracle to get out of the city.

His hands tightened on the wheel and he accelerated even more when they got to the M25, memories of the ring of fire, and subsequent drive still relatively fresh on his mind. As such, they were out of the city fast enough, and they sped through the English countryside in peaceful quiet. It was a quiet neither was particularly used to, and cherished all the more for it. Quiet moments were usually always filled with anticipation or tension, fear of being caught saying something they weren’t supposed to or getting caught exchanging glances that might reveal too much. So peaceful quiets were actually a relatively new occurrence between the two, silences where they were allowed to just bask in the comfort of their companion and enjoy living life not looking over both their shoulders.

At one point, Aziraphale cranked the window on his side down a bit, letting the faintest of breezes flow through the car, and they would almost swear they could smell the earth preparing itself for a new year, it was so full of promise for a new beginning. He leaned against his door, allowing himself to drop his usually rigid posture, and enjoyed the view as their chosen country zoomed past him. Glancing to his right quickly, he ducked his head as a desire suddenly overtook him, making his blush.

“Everything alright angel?” Crowley murmured, not wanting to break the delicate quiet.

“Um yes, everything is perfect my dear.” Aziraphale said hurriedly, not wanting to get caught.

The demon hummed but it was with a note of disbelief.

Biting his lip, Aziraphale looked to the sky before deciding to make a brave choice himself, and he reached out to tentatively set his hand on top of the demon’s hand on the gear stick. He heard rather than saw the sharp gasp from the demon, and felt the hand below his twitch for a second. Afraid he had a made a mistake, he moved to take his hand away, but was quickly stopped when said hand gripped his wrist. He turned to look at Crowley, but he was still looking at the road, and anyways his eyes were hidden beneath his sunglasses, making it impossible to tell what was going on in those beautifully expressive eyes of his.

Without saying anything, Crowley twisted his hand to twist his fingers through Aziraphale’s and settled their joined hands over the gear stick. His face twitched slightly but he gave nothing away as he kept looking forward but Aziraphale would swear the demon’s face and ears were slightly redder than before.

Aziraphale’s own lips twitched into a satisfied smile, and he leaned back in his seat to keep looking at the view, heart beating happily as he fought to not smile like a maniac.

They had been driving for nearly two hours when Crowley finally pulled up his car in the middle of seemingly nowhere. He didn’t say anything as he parked the car, but they both stifled a small noise when he had to untangle their joined hands to get out of the car. Aziraphale followed him out, and saw that they were in a hilly area, and the closest sign of humans was a small cottage building barely visible from where he stood.

“Where are we exactly Crowley?” The angel asked, more out of curiosity than because it really mattered. Anywhere that had the demon in it was a good place as far as he was concerned. Even crowded London.

“It’s a surprise angel. Come on, we need to hike a little bit.” Crowley said as he came around to his side, a basket in his hands that was not there previously. Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at him, but Crowley just shrugged helplessly at him. Aziraphale settled for his normal smile and nodded his head once, gesturing for the demon to lead the way. The demon started walking ahead before slowing down, and glancing at his hands hesitatingly.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked as he stood close enough to brush shoulders with him. The demon took a fortifying breath, and blushed fiercely as Aziraphale felt fingers coming to entwine with his. A glimpse downward made the angel’s breath hitch as he saw they were holding hands, and that happy feeling from before returned 10 times stronger than before. Despite the cold air, the gesture made Aziraphale feel warmed from the inside out. He smiled widely as Crowley, and felt it widen even more as he saw the demon blush even redder, face twisted in embarrassment. He decided not to say anything, best not to tease the already embarrassed demon. He gave their hands a squeeze, and could make out the demon’s shoulders tensing slightly before relaxing completely.

Coughing slightly, the demon started to walk, and led the angel up a couple of hills till they made it to the peak of what was probably the tallest hill in their radius. Aziraphale’s eyes widened as he took in the view. It was sunset, and the sky was painted in the most wonderful colors. The air was crisp at this height, and so far from human civilization, it felt like they had been thrown back through the ages to a time before the humans had conquered the world.

“Oh Crowley, how precious…” he mumbled as he moved forward to look around.

“I thought you might like it…” Crowley mumbled back as he shifted his weight from one leg to another. He removed his hand from Aziraphale’s and when the angel turned to look at him, saw him walking slightly away to place the basket on the ground. From it, he pulled out a red and black chequered blanket that he spread out on the grass. He reached back into the basket and started pulling out all types of foods, those vegetable sandwiches from the shop near Mayfair, mince meat pies that smelled exactly like those they had shared at a gala a couple centuries ago, a plate of apple slices, cake from his favorite bakery, a bread basket, champagne, red wine, white wine.

As the realization of what was happening settled, Aziraphale felt some tears prick his eyes, and turned quickly to discreetly wipe them with his handkerchief. It wouldn’t do for Crowley to catch him weeping and think he had done something wrong. As if he could. Oh how long had the angel loved this demon in ways he should never have been able to. Yes the night of the church bombing had made the feelings impossible to deny to himself any longer, but he had loved the demon a lot longer than he suspected even he knew.

And how could he not. Loving Crowley was a constant in his life for so long now, he could hardly remember a time before he did when he looked back at the past. His kind, gentle demon, who was so good with children, and wanted to save and help and save as many as he could despite being a demon. The one who never denied him anything, who gave him anything he wanted, who fulfilled any request he made. Just like now. A picnic.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley asked, and the angel blinked quickly to clear up his eyes and turned to look at him. The demon was standing next to the blanket, looking like an impossible mix of trying not to care and an anxious mess, sunglasses off so he could see those golden eyes he loved so. “You said we should have a picnic. I know it took about 5 or 6 decades, but would you please join me for one now?”

Aziraphale felt tears flood his eyes again, and burst out laughing as Crowley’s eyes widened in panic. The demon flailed briefly before coming right beside him. “No no angel, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, I am sorry this was a stupid idea, I can drive you back to London if you want-”

Aziraphale shut the demon’s rant but pulling him to his chest, taking the demon in his arms as he had longed to for so long. The demon inhaled sharply and stood stiffly in his arms for a good while before slowly, tentatively bringing his own arms to encircle the angel. When he saw no rebuke, he tighten his arms. The two held on tightly to each other, a silent confession of a love 6000 years in the making. By the time Aziraphale shifted enough to loosen his hold, the sun had set and the moon was casting a low glow over the whole area.

Feeling just a bit like a bastard, he held out his fingers and pulled them down. “Let there be light!”

“Argh, Angel!” Crowley growled at the sudden increase in brightness.

But Aziraphale was smiling his most innocent smile, the utter bastard, damn Crowley loved him so much.

“If we are to have all that delicious food my dear, we should be able to see it.”

“I know there aren’t that many humans around but that doesn’t mean they can’t pop up, and I for one have no desire to miracle away memories of the poor wanker that stumbles on us.”

“Well what do you propose then?” Aziraphale asked, eyebrow arched.

Crowley turned and walked back to the blanket in lieu of a reply and pulled out some candles which he proceeded to light and set around the blanket, but far enough away they wouldn’t accidentally set anything on fire. When he was done, he nodded at Aziraphale’s light. The angel conceded and snapped his fingers, casting them in a romantic glow of just the candles. The stars above them seemed to twinkle brighter, and the moonlight seemed softer.

The angel moved to sit next to Crowley, crossing his legs underneath him as he looked over at the feast his demon had prepared.

“How long did you take to plan all this my dear?” Aziraphale asked softly.

Crowley ran a hand through his hand as he murmured an inaudible answer. The angel chuckled softly and placed a warm palm over the demon’s closest thigh, and moved to press a soft kiss to his cheek. Crowley whipped his head to quickly the angel was concerned he gave himself whiplash. But the new position meant the two were sharing their breath, closer than they had ever been in life. When Crowley’s eyes darted down to his mouth, Aziraphale decided to be brave again, and moved to press his lips lightly to the demon’s. The demon gave another sharp gasp before moving one of his hands to cup Aziraphale’s cheek, deepening the kiss just so.

When they parted, they just looked at each other, love reflected to freely in both their eyes, hearts beating in sync as they felt the world tilt into a softer perspective.

“Thank you dearheart.” Aziraphale whispered, straightening his spine just slightly to rest his forehead on Crowley’s.

“Anything for you Angel. Always.” Crowley whispered back.

Aziraphale was the first to move, shifting to sit back down again, and pulled one of the plates to his lap. “This all looks delicious Crowley.”

The demon shrugged, trying to appear careless again, not that the angel didn’t see through it completely.

The two of them made their way through the feast, pace unhurried, they had the rest of eternity to look forward to and it looked more wonderful than it ever had. And as they kept sitting on that hill, the felt the stars start to almost twinkle brighter, and they shared another kiss when the first firework lit up the peaceful night sky.

It truly was the beginning of a new era.

How wonderful.

[bookphile]

As a a big cannon Sherlock Holmes fan, I’m not the the biggest fan of the modern adaptations. They always do a huge amount of disservice not only to Sherlock’s character - by making him cold and callous, instead of hungry to bring justice to those who get no help from the official police. But also to the mood of the stories in general because they first and foremost try to make it more modern and “gritty” and “realistic”, even though it was already gritty and realistic considering the subject matter and the fact that Canon Doyle knew what the hell he was talking about because he literally assisted the real Scotland Yard and often involved himself with real life case investigation. 

They also only ever seem to focus on the more popular and well-known stories that have been retold a dozen times, like Moriarty... even though Moriarty was neither the worst villain Sherlock ever faced, nor the scariest. Just the first and the most well known. 

If they wanted to create a more modern and gritty Sherlock Holmes (looking at you Guy Richie), why not focus on stories like The Valley of Fear? Sure, it’s not as well know, but everyone knows Sherlock Holmes - you don’t need to keep reintroducing him, considering at any given time there’s some sort of adaption coming out - in multiple countries. 

Valley of Fear is set in the still somewhat Wild continental United States, in which a policeman goes undercover to bust a super dangerous gang that has been terrorizing towns surrounding it. It’s all about the violence and the drama, brotherhood, heck there’s even a little bit of romance in there. And guess what, plot fucking twist, as in the end the dangerous criminals escape, and the police officer has to run across continents to escape as they make it their life mission to hunt him down and kill him. So now it’s all about vengeance and high stakes chasing and shoot outs. Heck, they could even make it about Sherlock being the one to infiltrate them - since disguises and infiltration are sort of his forte. There’s your freaken thriller. 

And don’t even get me fucking started on what they keep doing to Irene. Why do they insist on making the only actual canon story about a kick ass woman and 1. having her lose 2. making her fall in love with him ? The whole point of the story was that Sherlock was so arrogant and so sure of himself that he never thought he’d lose, much less to a woman (the man was really sexist - even by Victorian standards). Not only did it teach him a valuable lesson in humility, it also made him rethink his approach to women. It’s not even that hard to make it into a modern story? 

Imagine this: *modern times*

Sherlock is hired by a conservative political candidate who’s about to run for the highest office to recover a compromising video from Irene, whom he leads Sherlock to believe is a crazy/vengeful/ ex-girlfriend set on ruining his campaign. Because he’s running as a conservative with certain views, that video would ruin not just his campaign but possibly his entire career. Irene is an ultra glamorous actress/socialite, so Sherlock immediately thinks he’s got it in the bag. 

Except, Irene is adept at escaping paparazzi, stalkers, bloggers, stans, etc for years and so her bullshit radar and danger radars are super fine and the second Sherlock shows up trying to con her, she’s on to him. She also has no idea who Sherlock is, just that he’s someone that her ex hired to steal the one piece of protection she has against him.  Irene did date the Ex back when her career was just starting, but their relationship was secret, because his position/family forbade him from dating a nobody - but  she was a young woman trying to make it big being taken advantage of by an older man who promised to help her make it. Then he dumped her, Irene’s career took off anyway. They had no contact for years until Irene accidentally mentioned knowing him in an interview and what an asshole he is,  which terrifies the Ex since now she too has power, so he starts threatening her not to even think about revealing their relationship because he’d deny it and do all he can to ruin her. Irene’s possession of the video is literally the only thing that’s keeping her safe from him declaring all out war. 

Irene was planning on retiring anyway and moving away to live with the love of her life in some small town, where she can finally have some peace and quiet. So while she’s finalizing her retirement plans, she decides not only to take revenge on her Ex but have fun with Sherlock too, since she thinks he’s some asswipe working for her bastard ex. Now imagine Sherlock and Irene as they try to outwit each other. Sherlock keeps trying to rob her or con her, or hack into her tech, while Irene rolls her eyes at this amateur, while penning her goodbye letter. Irene realizes who Sherlock is before he realizes he’s met his match. Especially because Irene keeps asking her friends to either accost him with interviews, write scathing articles about him, or embarrass him in public in various ways. (Meanwhile John is all, ‘you dumb asshole I told you not to work for that conservative bastard, this is your own fault’) He’s putting the puzzle pieces together, especially since Irene stays one step ahead of him the entire time and it drives him insane, but he realizes that she’s not just some dumb actress. And just as  as he’s about to get her, she’s all “Goodnight, Mr. Holmes” and gets the fuck out of there. 

Once she’s safely away and hidden, she contacts Sherlock and explains everything. Sherlock realizes he’s not only been outwitted, finally puts the pieces together and realizes just how badly he almost fucked up. John is all ‘I told you so’. Or I don't know, maybe at the end of the movie they team up to expose the asshole ex without compromising Irene in the process. The end credits consist of Irene accepting a “thank you for all you do for us” award in the small town theater where she and her girlfriend live, and her eyes meeting Sherlock’s in the audience and for a moment you can see her panic, but Sherlock just winks and raises a glass to toast her victory. As the credits roll we see screenshots of newspaper article about the ex’s fall from grace and eventual arrest for embezzling funds. End.

[fanfics4all]

To Love Is To Lose

Request: Yes / No Hello! Can I please request #75 (“ You’re one hell of a girl. ”) with Oliver queen or Barry Allen where the reader is also a vigilante and Oliver/Barry slowly fall for her when they end up doing a few missions together? Btw, I love your writing, it’s always so good ❤️❤️❤️ Anon

Request are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Barry Allen x  Fem!Reader

Oliver Queen x Fem!Reader

Word count:  3695

Warnings: Death, gang

Y/N: Your Name

A/N:  I based the Reader on the DC vigilante Shado (I know she was in Arrow but in this she was never in the show!) But the backstory and everything is from Shado and I just changed it a little bit. I wanted to use an already existing vigilante because I’m a HUGE DC nerd!

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Before I was born my father was part of the Yakuza. He was sent to America sometime before World War Two had broken out. He was sent with a large amount of gold to establish Yakuza operations in America. Because he was Japanese, my father was placed in an internment camp when the war broke out. A group of soldiers suspected him of having Yakuza ties, but my father was strong and loyal. No matter how much they tortured him he wouldn’t tell them where any of the money was located.

Years after the war my father met my mother and they had me. We were living a normal life, until some retired soldiers decided to try again. They threatened me and my mother. My father didn’t want to see his family harmed so he turned over the gold. They didn’t keep to their promises and hurt my mother, she died because of them. My father had committed seppuku not long after to atone for failing the Yakuza. His disgrace then fell upon me. The Yakuza had taken me back to Japan where I was raised to kill the Americans who dishonored my Yakuza family. They had trained me in martial arts and Kyūdō, which is the Japanese art of archery.

Once I was eighteen, I left to return to America and started killing the men that disgraced me. Two of the former soldiers used the stolen gold to build a shipping business, as well as a drug trafficking operation. The blood that followed me got me into the view of a local vigilante, his name was the Green Arrow. I had evaded him for years, he even recruited, what people call metahumans, to aid him in catching me. Not even the so called fasted man alive could catch me. Our paths did cross however, an ally of his, the Black Canary, was captured by one of the men I was after. Him and his people had tortured the poor girl. I had showed up almost at the same time the Green Arrow and his team did, he even brought his little speedster friend.

“What are you doing here?” He asked me with a growl.

“Doing what I was trained to do. What are you doing here?” I asked with narrowed eyes.

“A member of my team in in there and I’m getting her back.” He said drawing his bow and aiming it at me.

“So I don’t have time for you tonight, get out of my way if you don’t want an arrow in your skull.” He growled and I smirked.

“You’d never hit me, I’m here to kill the men inside.” I said and went to go in.

“Wait!” The voice of the speedy guys said.

“What if we work together?” He asked and I raised my brow at him.

“Work together?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, we all want the same thing right? So why not?” He asked and I looked at them.

“I work alone.” I said and turned my back on them.

“Extra hands couldn’t hurt.” He said and I rolled my eyes.

“If I say yes will you shut up?” I asked annoyed and he nodded.

“Fine. But I kill Lawton.” I said and the Green Arrow nodded.

“Fine.” He said and I nodded. We all went inside and did our things. The speedster distracted them, while Arrow and I shot arrows at them. He was aiming to wound, I was aiming to kill. The Green Arrow’s friend shot at them also only wounding them. Arrow went to get the girl that was tied to a chair and I saw Lawton running. I ran after him and decided to get the high ground. I ran above him and dropped down in front of him. I looked up at him with a glare and he pointed his gun at me. I grabbed it from him and knocked him to the ground. I aimed my bow at him and he looked up at me with fear.

“Please! I have a family!” He begged and I narrowed my eyes at him more.

“So did my father!” I growled and he looked at me confused. I pulled down my mask and his eyes widened.

“You’re Yao Fei’s daughter… You look like your mother…” He said shocked and I pulled my bow back more.

“Don’t you talk about my mother! Or my father!” I shouted at him, apparently this caught the attention of Green Arrow and his friends.

“You killed them! You and your friends hurt my mother and killed her! You made my father kill himself to atone for what he did!” I shouted and he cowered in fear.

“I’m sorry! Please I have a daughter!” He said and I gave a humorless chuckle.

“Then she will grow up without a father.” I said and pulled my arrow back once more.

“You die in the name of the Yakuza.” I said and released my arrow. It hit him right in the left eye and he was dead within seconds.

“That was a little harsh.” I heard the voice of speedster.

“He deserved worse.” I said pulling my arrow out.

“Awww gross!” Speedster said.

“Get over it speedster, it’s just a little blood and his eye.” I said pulling his eyeball off my arrow.

“It’s actually Flash.” He said.

“Well, I must go.” I said turning and walking away.

“Wait!” Green Arrow’s voice said.

“I’m not letting you catch me Arrow.” I said and rushed off. That was the last man. I sent his eye back to my Yakuza family and they were pleased with my work. They said my disgrace from my father was repaid. I had finished my mission and I was able to come back. I didn’t want to though, I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I just wanted to fix his mistakes, but I had become the best of the best. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to escape this life. But because I was the best of the best, I knew I could hide from them.

Oliver’s POV

I watched as the mysterious vigilante fought with us. She was a killer, but she was amazing. She was like what I use to be, but ten times more violent. Once we took care of everyone I went to get Loreal. She was in bad shape, but she would live. Once she was safe we all heard yelling coming from one of the halls and I noticed that the girl was gone. We all followed the shouting and saw her holding a man at arrow point.

“You killed them! You and your friends hurt my mother and killed her! You made my father kill himself to atone for what he did!” She shouted and he cowered in fear.

“I’m sorry! Please I have a daughter!” He said and She gave a humorless chuckle.

“Then she will grow up without a father.” She said and pulled her arrow back once more.

“You die in the name of the Yakuza.” She said and released her arrow. It hit him right in the left eye and he was dead within seconds. My eyes widened when I heard her say Yakuza.

“That was a little harsh.” Barry said.

“He deserved worse.” She said pulling her arrow out.

“Awww gross!” Barry said looking away.

“Get over it speedster, it’s just a little blood and his eye.” She said pulling his eyeball off my arrow.

“It’s actually Flash.” Barry said.

“Well, I must go.” She said ignoring him and turned walking away.

“Wait!” I called out to her.  

“I’m not letting you catch me Arrow.” She said and rushed off.

“Who is that exactly?” Barry asked.

“I have no idea, but I think I know how to find her.” I said and we left to get Loreal help.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a month and I’ve avoided any contact with the Yakuza. I was free. I didn’t want to give up my alter ego, well my main ego I suppose. After all this is what I was made to do. I would take care of some of the criminals in Star City, the Green Arrow wasn’t too fond of this. He’d have to catch me to make me stop and we both knew that was impossible. Or so I thought… I had gotten a lead about a criminal and was following it. Unfortunately I came to found it was false and the Green Arrow was there waiting for me with speedster.

“We meet again.” The man in green said with his deep voice.

“You set me up!” I growled and he nodded.

“So what? Gonna take me to jain now? Or am I going to have to kill you both?” I asked holding up my bow.

“Whoa! We just wanna talk!” The guy in red said with his hands up. I narrowed my eyes at him and he took off his cowl.

“See? Trust.” He said and I raised my brow. I looked at the Green Arrow and he took off his hood and mask.

“Oliver Queen? Interesting.” I said with a smirk, even though they couldn’t see it with my mask on.

“We’ve already seen your face so there’s no need for your mask.” Oliver said. I lowered my bow and took off my mask.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Your help.” He said and my eyes widened in shock.

“The Green Arrow wants my help?” I asked with a smirk.

“We need help. We can’t do it alone and we need someone skilled.” He said and my smirk grew.

“What’s in it for me?” I asked.

“The feeling like you did something good.” Barry said and I rolled my eyes.

“What’s the job?” I asked.

“We’re going after a man named Constantine Drakon. He’s an incredible martial artist and has outwitted us far too many times.” Oliver growled.

“I can tell you right now I’m way better than him.” I said and they nodded.

“That’s why we need you.” The speedy guys said.

“What’s your name?” I asked him.

“Barry Allen.” He said with a smile.

“You look like a Barry.” I said looking at him.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Y/N Fei. But you probably know me as Shado.” I said.

“Shado. That’s what you call yourself?” Oliver asked.

“Most people don’t see me coming.” I said with a wink.

“So will you help us?” Barry asked with a small blush.

“Sure, I get to kill some baddies.” I said with a shrug and a smile.

“We’re not killing.” Oliver said and I gave him a look.

“They deserve it.” I practically growled.

“Y/N, we don’t kill.” Barry said softly and I rolled my eyes.

“Fine.” I said and they smiled.

“Well I have to go.” I said putting my mask back on and turned away from them.

“Wait how will we get in reach with you?” Barry asked. I smirked and hopped up the building next to us. I shot an arrow at their feet with my number of my burner phone on a piece of paper wrapped around it.

Three Weeks Later

The two boys were texting me nonstop. It was kind of cute. They both had asked me to help them on missions besides the one they actually asked me to help with. They were actually sweet and wanted to be friends with me. This was new to me, I never had a friend before.

Finally they told me where to meet them to talk about the mission. I arrived at the location and Barry was standing outside.

“Hey Y/N!” He said with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey Barry.” I said with a small smile.

“How are you?” He asked slightly awkwardly.

“Fine. You?” I asked.

“I’m good! I mean just catching some mettas, but I guess you knew that seeing as I am a hero and all…he…” He said scratching the back of his neck and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Did anyone ever tell you you’re adorable?” I said without thinking. He looked at me with wide eyes and a blush.

“U-um no…” He said nervously.

“Well you are.” I smiled.

“T-thanks.” He said.

“So what is this place?” I asked looking at what looked to be an abandoned building.

“Oh! This is the Arrow cave.” He said and I looked at him like he was crazy.

“This place?” I asked and he nodded.

“Come on, it’s way cooler than it looks.” He said opening the door. He walked inside and I followed him confused. He walked into what looked like an old office and smirked at me.

“This is the Arrow cave?” I asked confused.

“No, this is how we get to it.” He said and then a wall opened up to reveal an elevator.

“What the hell?” I asked shocked. Barry just smirked and walked in.

“Well, are you coming?” He asked and I nodded. I walked in next to him and he pressed a button. We went down and the doors opened up to a huge area with computers, weapons, a lab, and a few other rooms.

“This is the Arrow cave.” He said still smirking.

“Whoa…” Was all I could say.

“Oh! You two are here!” A blond girl said getting up.

“Um, who are you?” I asked confused. I’ve never seen her before.

“Oh right! I’m Felicity, the one they all call Overwatch.” She said with a kind smile.

“Right… I’m Y/N, the one they call Shado.” I said and she smiled.

“I know, you’re really incredible with a bow, ya know, minus the whole killing part.” She said and I nodded.

“The bow and martial arts is all I’ve ever known.” I said with a shrug.

“Your parents didn’t let you have fun?” She asked and I tensed up a bit.

“My parents are the reason I do what I do.” I said coldly.

“Hey, Felicity, don’t you need to check on the plan?” A man said walking over.

“Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah! Nice meeting you Y/N.” She said and walked off.

“Sorry about her, Y/N.” He said with a smile and Oliver walked over beside him.  

“It’s fine.” I said.

“Y/N, this is John Diggle.” Oliver said introducing him.

“Hello.” I said with a small smile.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, but I should go help Felicity.” He said and walked away.

“What’s the plan?” I asked Oliver and Barry.

“First, I want you to meet my team.” Barry said and dragged me away from Oliver.

“Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Cisco, Caitlin, and Iris.” He said and I gave a polite smile.

“You’re the girl who can shoot better than Oliver!” Cisco said.

“She is not!” I heard Oliver shout and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“I’ll out shoot you any day Arrow!” I called back with a smirk.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Caitlin said with a smile.

“Yeah, happy I can meet the girl Barry can’t stop talking about.” Iris said with a smirk.

“Iris!” Barry said with a blush.

“She’s joking, I don’t talk about you a lot.” He said and I nodded with a smirk.

“Right… It’s nice to meet you guys.” I said to his friends.

“So shouldn’t we get this plan going?” I asked.

“Yeah.” The two boys said.

We all went over the plan a few times and where everyone was going to be. Once we finally all got on the same page we all started to get ready. I grabbed the bag I brought and pulled out my costume.

“Where should I go to get dress?” I asked.

“Oh, right over there.” Oliver said pointing to a room.

“Got it.” I said and walked into the room. I put on my tight black pants, my black and red top with one sleeve so my dragon tattoos with my parents names showed, my black boots, and my black mask that covered the bottom half of my face. I put my hair up put it in a tight braid. Once I was finished I walked out and everyone was looking at me.

“You guys okay?” I asked confused as I walked over to my bag. I pulled out my bow and knives.

“Yeah, we were just waiting for you.” Barry said with a blush.

“Okay… anyway, ready to go?” I asked and everyone nodded. We all left, except for Felicity, Iris, Caitlen, and Cisco. We got to the location Felicity told us to go to, it was an abandoned warehouse.

“Barry, check the perimeter.” Oliver told him.

“On it!” He said and he was back with in seconds.

“All clear, but there are a few guys in the back room.” He said.

“I’ll take care of them. I said walking over to the building.

“No killing Shado.” Oliver said and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Arrow.” I said and hopped up the building. I walked over to the back of the building and hopped down through the skylight. There were six guys and they all looked at me shocked, I had the upper hand. I grabbed two of my knives and tossed them into two guys legs. They fell to the ground and by then the other guys came to their senses. They all took out their guns and started shooting at me. I jumped, weaved, and dodged all of them to get to a safe spot. Once I was out of their fire, I pulled my bow back and shot three of them in the knees. There would probably be permanent damage, but at least I didn’t kill them! There was only one guy left and he tried to sneak up behind me. He grabbed me and I smirked. I pulled out one of my knives and stabbed him in the arm then flipped him on his back. I pulled back my bow and shot him in the leg and his other arm. Finally they were all down and I opened the back door for everyone else.

“Whoa…” John said impressed.

“This was nothing.” I said with a shrug.

“You’re one hell of a girl.” Barry and Oliver said at the same time. I smirked and then they glared at each other.

“Guys, Constantine just arrived.” Felicity’s voice ran through our ears.

“We’re on it Overwatch.” Oliver said still glaring at Barry.

“Come on boys, you can fight later.” I said with a smirk, they couldn’t see it with my mask on. They snapped out of it and we all went to our positions.

“Everyone ready?” Oliver asked.

“Yep.” Barry said.

“In position.” John said.

“Ready.” I said with my bow at the ready.

“On my go.” Oliver said. We waited for a few minutes and then he jumped down. We took out the little guys while Oliver was dealing with Constantine. Once they were all dealt with, Oliver was on the ground with Constantine’s foot on his throat.

“Barry!” I shouted and he looked at Oliver. He nodded and ran at Constantine ready to take him down, but he was punched in the face.

“Goddamnit!” I growled. I jumped down and shot my bow at him. He caught it and looked at me with a smirk. He got off Oliver and ran at me. He grabbed me by my throat and lifted me off the ground. He looked at my exposed arm and then back at my face.

“Yao Fei… Your father?” He asked like I could answer. I glared at him which he took as a yes, by his smirk.

“You’re Yakuza.” He smirked again.

“You’re going to be one of my finest kills.” He said and I smirked. I grabbed one of my knifes and plunged it into his side. He dropped me and I took a deep breath.

“Not today.” I said and he growled.

“You’ll pay for that!” He shouted, but before he could even get up Barry put handcuffs on him.

“You’re never going to hurt anyone ever again.” He growled and Oliver walked over. He shoved him against a pole and shot rope to tie him to it.

“Overwatch. Tell the police they have some guys here.” Oliver said and she notified them. We all left and went back to the Arrow cave so everyone could get looked over.

“Y/N, we should really check you out.” Barry said.

“I’m fine.” I said undoing my braid and letting my hair down.

“You were almost killed.” Oliver said and I rolled my eyes.

“If you think that was almost killed you’re insane.” I said looking at the two boys.

“You’ve had worse done?” Barry asked shocked and worried.

“I was part of the Yakuza Bar, their training is serious.” I said and Oliver looked at me.

“I thought you were part of the Yakuza?” He asked.

“I was, I’ve been hiding from them for months now. I cleared the wrongs my father did to them the night you got your friend back. They wanted me back in Japan, but I do not wish to follow in my father’s footsteps.” I said and they looked at me.

“I’ll keep you safe!” They both said at the same time then glared at each other again. I smirked.

“I don’t need protection, but thanks anyway.” I said.

“Well if you ever need a place to hideout, this place is yours.” Oliver said.

“No way! Star labs is way safer and in another city!” Barry said.

“Right… Well thanks for the offers, but I don’t think I’ll need them.” I said smiling.

“See ya Arrow, Speedster.” I said picking up my bag and walking away.

“You know they’re both head over heels in love with you right?” Iris asked when I walked by her. I looked back at the boys and sighed.

“Yeah, but relationships and friendships are just more people you can lose, or people can use against you.” I said and walked out of the Arrow cave. I can’t be with anyone. I’m just a shadow in the background. Someone no one can actually know…

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @marveloverdcsstuff   

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG131 /o/

- More about that lower but: yes, I’m worried about Basira too, but probably not for the reasons highlighted by Melanie. In fact, learning that Helen has been around since The Flesh’s attack, and had been quite benevolent towards the assistants… adds another layer to Basira and Elias’s exchange when she visited him in prison at his request:

(MAG127) BASIRA: Can we cut the bullshit? ELIAS: What “bullshit” might that be? BASIRA: The part where you pretend you don’t spend your whole time watching us. […] ELIAS: I believe you’ve recently lost Melanie. BASIRA: … We saved Melanie. ELIAS: As a person, yes, but as a defender… I would have thought you would want all the help you could get, or… have you forgotten what happened last time you lay your guard down? BASIRA: … We’ll work it out. ELIAS: Possibly. Then again: you are beset by enemies on all sides, Basira. And unless you expect Jon to record them into submission, it would seem you’re in rather dire need of another option.

Basira might not trust Helen as much as Melanie does nor perceive her as… absolutely reliable, but the point is: the archival assistants already had another option! Helen had just proved that she was the perfect “defender”, able to trap an enemy in her corridors – and she had helped Jon escape in MAG101 through her door! If she’s indeed on their side, she’s the best option they could dream of, able to trap, to protect and to transport alike! And Basira mentioned none of it to Elias and rolled with the conversation as if Helen wasn’t with them.

Melanie and Jon were quite clearly in the tunnels when Melanie led him to Helen’s door (Jon mentioned that he had been “down there”, the sound effect was the usual tunnels sound); Melanie had not mentioned Helen while in the Archives themselves; assuming Jared didn’t actually mean “Helen’s corridors” when he said “tunnels”, he was actually in the tunnels as well when he was trapped by her (MAG131: “Didn’t know about those tunnels or wherever this place is […]. I got… scared. So I ran. I ran through the first door I found.”). If Melanie, Basira (and potentially Martin) never mentioned Helen while outside of the tunnels, and if Jon’s assumption from season 3 is indeed right and that Elias can’t spy on them when they’re in the tunnels… then it’s possible that Elias just plainly isn’t aware of Helen’s intervention and probably assumed that Melanie had butchered Jared herself below the Archives.

The Elias-Basira conversation began with a I-Know-What-You’re-Doing from Elias (greeting her with “Detective”); Basira told him as least as possible throughout their exchange. It was actually her police questioning! She was evaluating what he knew, while fully aware that they had another card in their sleeve! It… doesn’t mean that Elias can’t possibly know anything about Helen one way or another, but it means that Basira was trying to outwit him when she didn’t mention Helen and accepted to listen to his “other option” instead – and even if she happened to leave in order to follow his leads since the end of MAG128… she entered the manipulation game with him by withholding information, too.

(;; And it could be a verrrry dangerous move for Basira: is Elias a complete idiot who just happens to have the right powers to hurt when he needs to (hence Martin managing to take him down), or is he actually a bit more in control of what is happening everywhere (did Martin’s plan actually put Elias exactly where he wanted to be in the first place?)…)

- Okay, new Big Mystery dropped this week is… Who requested the Flesh attack against the Archives and sent Jared after Jon? They began to send letters “about two years ago” (so around December 2015 / March 2016, depending if Jared’s point of reference is the current day or the moment he was trapped in the corridor), when Jon was beginning as Head Archivist; the letters were “good white paper, large print”; the person sending them was able to tell where Jared was at any given time (“I dunno how they kept finding me”); usually only contained “a name and a place or a time”; always led Jared towards something/someone who would be interesting to him (“they always led to summat good. Quality bones, a new mate, or some unlucky fool who wouldn’t look at me for the fear.” – how do you tell that someone has “good bones”………………..?). They sent Jared to the Archives while Jon was four months into his coma, and Jon was the Official target (“And you wanted to kill… me, specifically?” “Still do. […] Then I got one about your lot, your Archives. Told me to go there and kill you. They even sent a picture. […] You weren’t there, which was sad, but it made it easier.”). I’m personally considering three main suspects:

* Adelard Dekker, because I really want to know more about him, and because I Know My Luck about characters I find potentially sympathetic in this series, gdi :|| (He knew Gertrude for long and managed to survive, that means he’s probably fishy, if he’s still alive/not-dead in the first place.)

* Elias because he would know where to find (/See) someone at all times, and because… listen… the IRONY of “the pipes… they were wide enough for me and a few friends to squeeze through” (=> “[EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER]”) + the first time we ever heard Elias speaking was in MAG017, the first statement Jon read that mentioned The Boneturner, and Elias interrupted precisely when the statement was describing Jared (and it was in end of February/beginning of March 2016, during the Prentiss siege, which means two years ago). Elias isn’t, overall, renowned for his subtlety, so it could fit.

* The Web, more specifically Annabelle Cane, since the Chelicerae was already active when the letters began to be sent, her first email to Gregory Cox also used big letters (MAG123: “something in it caused the font to appear incredibly large”), and she was requesting names to be inserted into the website’s code (“Meaningless strings of words, or weird little fragments of poetry, or a name, different every time, repeated over and over again, hundreds of times.”) and getting potential targets here and there through people’s stories. It’s about information and getting people to do what you need them to do; plus, Jared was indifferent at first and then got ~curious~ (“but they kept coming, and eventually I got curious. So, I followed the instructions in one of ‘em.”), which couuuld sound like… a retrospective rationalisation after the Web pulled a string to make you go somewhere.

The straightforward meaning of the attack was that Jon was the official target: does it mean that the Mysterious Sender didn’t know that Jon was currently away from the Institute and in a coma? Or was it a deliberate red herring, because they wanted Jon to think that he had been the target when he’d come back, while their intentions had laid somewhere else? Was it to see whether Jon would react and wake up if the assistants were in danger? Was it to get the assistants… exactly where they ended up going – Melanie falling deeper into her anger; Basira becoming colder and more pragmatic; Martin growing more desperate and finally accepting Peter Lukas’s offer? Or… it’s still a bit strange that Jon himself was never attacked in hospital, even though at least two Fears got involved in the end to visit him (the Web sent The End’s Oliver in MAG121) so… another option I’m considering, I don’t know: was Jared sent to the Institute because the Mysterious Sender wanted to find Jon and Jon was hidden from the other powers until then? Martin’s visit from the teaser was apparently shortly after the attack (since he received a phone call and agreed to an offer, and Basira mentioned that Martin was working closely with Peter after the Flesh invasion); could it be possible that Martin unknowingly led The Web to where Jon was resting, when he visited him…?

- So I have trouble picturing Jon and Melanie become Official Friends, ever, but GOSH, technically, Melanie already didn’t have High Standards for friendships/people she could ask for help, and had called herself out on that matter (+ she explicitly said that she had nobody to turn to, in MAG084, and confirmed it again with Elias in MAG106):

(MAG063) MELANIE: […] And you’re basically the closest thing I’ve got to a friend here. ARCHIVIST: We’ve spoken once and we ended up screaming at each other. MELANIE: Yes! And that’s more than I have with anyone else here.

F R I E N S H I P… And now, they’re somehow friendlier and… yeah, sort of friends. Kinda. Sorry for the both of you. Sorry for you, Melanie, I KNOW YOU’RE A SWEET BEAN UNDER ALL THAT ANGER, but seriously, come on. You’re currently adopting Jon as one of your friends, look at yourself:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: I mean, you’d think I’d have a better idea how to do it. All these… all these statements and… [SMALL LAUGH] You know who I need? I need the Boneturner. [SIGHS] Just reach in and grab a rib. Job done. MELANIE: … ARCHIVIST: What? … Melanie? MELANIE: Come with me. [CLICK.] […] ARCHIVIST: Oh, er… Er, pass the recorder? MELANIE: Seriously? Fine. [RECORDER IS PASSED TO THE ARCHIVIST] […] ARCHIVIST: No. No, now I am going for a lie down. That was… that was not what I expected. MELANIE: Come on, you can use Basira’s cot.

All these small gestures that mean so much!! She admitted that he had done the ““right”” thing, she brought him to Helen – knowingly doing something that Basira didn’t want, choosing to help Jon and to talk to Helen when Jon didn’t want to knock! She stared/judged but she did hand over the tape recorder! She went to check on Jon’s corpse unconscious body! She led him towards somewhere he could rest! She even offered to chop his finger off herself at the beginning! Melanie!! You got yourself a friend!!

At least, they’re allies, but Melanie is kinda becoming Jon’s slightly vitriolic friend, and I’m LIVING. Jon has a knack for surrounding himself and being in good terms with people who call him out and are able to be mean towards him, uh?

- I think that one of the most significant things about Melanie being a bit more herself (not being only the anger) was her… willingness to talk and share what she discovered, what happened, what she’s thinking and doing? Because it used to be one of her main characteristics, even (especially!) with Jon: she didn’t like him much as a person, but they were able to chat and exchange and to hold discussions about her adventures. There were many similarities between them – which miiiight have been one of the reasons why Elias hired her, too, since she was obsessed with finding out the truth about what she had noticed (even if it would hurt her in the process), though it could also be some Beholding magic (making her crave pouring out her experience to The Archivist?):

(MAG076) ARCHIVIST: Well, this “pompous ass” has some very urgent work to do, so if your statement is just going to be insults, you can go back to the damn library. MELANIE: It’s not. Look, I… I think I’ve found something. […] So, can I make my statement now? […] You know this obsession even better than I do. I just wanted to make my statement… ARCHIVIST: In case you get murdered by ghosts. MELANIE: Yes. ARCHIVIST: I understand. Thank you, Melanie.

(MAG084) MELANIE: […] I don’t know why, but… I just, I just felt that perhaps coming here might help. And talking things out with Jon. I mean, I mean he’s awful, but at least he listens, you know?

(MAG086) MELANIE: You know what? Fine. Fine! But you tell me everything. Okay? Everything. ARCHIVIST: I mean… you, you won’t believe it. MELANIE: I don’t care. ARCHIVIST: Alright. Alright. MELANIE: Start with Sasha. ARCHIVIST: … Okay. [CLICK.]

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Basira said you were doing better. MELANIE: Would you just– stop?! ARCHIVIST: No– Right, no– […] M–Melanie, it, it– MELANIE: Don’t tell me to calm down! Don’t you dare–! […] Oh, just stop! Just stop and– listen. ARCHIVIST: Okay.

During season 3, she repeatedly refused to tell Jon her story from India (in MAG086, and she gloated about it in MAG113), and only shared it in MAG117, in her testament. Now, she’s going back to telling herself to Jon; to being able to take a step back and explain her own reasoning, her own ways of functioning.

- I’m love Melanie so much… so, so much… (And Lydia’s voice. GOSH. Even if some frustration remained, you could clearly hear the difference between Melanie-with-the-bullet and Melanie-without: her voice had something… softer? Less frantic? that seeped into you like a wave and surrounded you, instead of just cutting right in like a rusted knife, like in MAG125.)

I love Melanie’s self-awareness! I love that she’s able to be mad, to feel hurt, to know that her pain is legitimate, but also to admit:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: I was trying to save your life. MELANIE: Yes…! Well, you did! ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MELANIE: I think. But I also… you know… see your face now, when I wake up screaming. I feel you digging into my leg. Chalk it up as a win for Team Archive, I guess! ARCHIVIST: I wanted to ask you! MELANIE: And if you had, we wouldn’t be talking right now. I’d have said no, and I’d probably have hurt you. Basira was right. The only way to do it was to completely betray my trust and destroy any remaining sense of safety. So, yes! Thank you. ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Yeah. I, I’m… I’m surprised you can stand to see either of us. MELANIE: Who else is there? I mean, Basira is… [CHUCKLE], she’s been the only one for a long time, and, yes!, I sort of maybe hate her now! ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MELANIE: I don’t know! I can’t… look at her without my leg hurting, but what else am I going to do. I don’t want to be on my own, and I’m stuck here. So… […] I’m not dying and I don’t… want to kill you, it’s, it’s…! [SHARP EXHALE] It’s just different. Yes, it’s… sort of better, m–maybe, but I–I can’t…

I love that it was her who explained to us what was happening to her – who explained to Jon that he misunderstood! And she directly echoed (and answered?) one of Jon’s questions about The Slaughter!!

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: In many ways, The Slaughter fascinates me. There seems to be, in all cases, a question at its heart about… control. Is it a mindless dance, dragging participants along by the beat of a drum or… is there a kernel of will in there, a lucidity and deliberateness to the random fury and violence? I suppose that’s the question with so much of “violence”, “war”: how much are you really in command of yourself or of others? I’m not sure what scares me more: the idea that deep down, everyone is in complete control of their actions, that everything is, on some level, intentional; or that ultimately, we don’t have any control of ourselves at all, and the rest is just… rationalisation.

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: A–at least, it’s out! … Maybe… maybe it’s enough to start healing, start… letting go of the anger. MELANIE: Oh, just stop! Just stop and– listen. ARCHIVIST: Okay. MELANIE: Yes, the, the bullet was bad, right. But it didn’t make me angry. Anger is… Anger’s been all I’ve had for a long time. Years. Maybe since– oh, I, I don’t know, but…! Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve pushed for, was because I was angry! Angry of being past over, being disrespected, ignored… that sort of anger, it, it powers you! … Right until it slips out, and hurts someone. I – hurt someone. And then, one day, I suddenly have this thing that takes all that rage, and it holds it. Tells me it’s right. That it’s me. It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it.

I love the broad idea behind Melanie’s own situation – that anger is a force, that anger can push you through hardships, can help you survive, but that in the end, if there is only anger, it will turn sour and (self-)destructive and wreck you in the process! I love her moments of self-affirmation, how she reclaimed her experience, reminded Jon that she was her own person with her own story, her own feelings, her own perception of events. She had already mentioned her anger in her testament:

(MAG117) MELANIE: […] “Hope” isn’t really good for anything. It’s always been action, with me; it’s, it’s been doing things that helps. I’ve never really seen the point of “hope”. […] I… I’m so angry, just… sometimes, when Jon’s going off on one about his latest insight, it’s all I can do not to punch him in the teeth. I feel like I’ve always been fighting. No one makes space for people like me, you’ve got to… elbow the comfortable idiots out of the way, and then claw your way up with gritted teeth; I’ve had to struggle for everything! […] Elias thinks he’s got this ingenious way to hurt people, but it’s just the same old bullshit in a creepy new package. … Asshole… God! I just want to rip his…! [BREATHES] When did I… start to lose the parts of me that weren’t just anger…?

… And I hate how, dumdumdum, Elias is actually… a pretty good judge of character (except when it comes to Martin). He had described Tim as “Disruption. An unpredictable, angry man with nothing left but the desire to feel in some way revenged.” (MAG104) and had reaaally insisted over the fact that Tim would be a “rogue element” (MAG116), something that could derail the mission to stop The Unknowing… and Tim indeed ended up arguing with Jon at the wrong time, and maybe they missed the few seconds that could have allowed them to escape. As for Melanie, Elias had said:

(MAG106) ELIAS: […] I wish I knew the words that would make you believe me. […] You already have doubts, though. You've been talking with Tim, and have convinced yourself that– MELANIE: [DRY LAUGHTER] ELIAS: –even if I'm telling the truth, I'm too dangerous to live. MELANIE: Well. ELIAS: Whatever I’m planning needs to be stopped! Even if it costs a few lives. Including your own. MELANIE: Well, that’s not even– ELIAS: A rationalisation, of course. A lie, about your own selfishness, that you would rather be dead than trapped without the self-determination you prize so highly. I wish I knew the words to convince you it’s for the best. [SILENCE] MELANIE: Are we done? ELIAS: … It’s too deep. I can see almost anything I care to– MELANIE: ‘f course. ELIAS: –weave knowledge from someone’s mind, or place it there– MELANIE: Sure. ELIAS: –but I just cannot change the– MELANIE: Mm-mm. ELIAS: –nature of a person. And I am struggling to think of what could rid you of this misguided rage.

Sounds like Fucker was quite right about Melanie in the end? :||

I… do like that even though he wasn’t mentioned at all in this episode, it puts me in mind of Tim at many moments, mostly in the way Melanie seems like she’s able to go… past her terrible experiences in a way Tim wasn’t able to, because she’s capable of self-reflection and of considering other people’s actions. Tim shaped himself around his own anger, around his own bitterness – it ate him up: angry resignation at the end of season 2, depression at the beginning of season 3, before he found a drive again and… only saw a future in which he would die trying to stop The Unknowing.

(MAG116) ARCHIVIST: Do you– … Are you going to keep it together? TIM: […] I’m not gonna give us away. I want this to work. ARCHIVIST: Thank you. TIM: But I don’t think it will. So. I’m gonna take that axe of yours, and… when it all goes wrong, I’m going down swinging. And when I do, you better take the chance and stay out of my way.

(MAG117) TIM: … I’m gonna hurt them, though. I’m gonna hurt the things that stole my brother and wrecked my life. […] I know what it means! They gave it to me because they think I’ll get angry and do something stupid anyway. And they’re probably right. So maybe it’s for the best. […] From what I can tell, there’s only one person who’s ever managed to hurt them, to reaaally hurt them. And that’s Gertrude Robinson. She was cold, ruthless, and she hit them when they were vulnerable, and she sacrificed a lot of people to do it. Honestly? I hope that Jon learned something from her, because… because I don’t expect I’m going to be coming back from this. I don’t know if I want to. And if he needs to pull the trigger, to use me to stop it, well, he better have the guts to do it. Timothy Stoker, August 4th, 2017. [DRY LAUGHTER] Statement ends.

(MAG118) TIM: You thought you brought me in as a distraction, right? ARCHIVIST: What?! TIM: Let me do it! Go in, maybe you can get some of them– ARCHIVIST: Tim, contrary to what you think, I did not bring you here to indulge your death wish! TIM: It’s not what this is! ARCHIVIST: No?! TIM: No! You knew I might not be coming back! ARCHIVIST: I knew none of us might be coming back, and I’m not gonna let anyone get killed for nothing!

Unlike Tim, Melanie might be able to rebuild herself up? In an episode about how things and people change, maybe it could be Melanie’s case, too. She’s able to tell what feels wrong, what happened, how she herself proceeded. She took decisions that broke Basira’s imposed status quo (bringing Jon to Helen for him to get help in his plan, showing him the way where he could rest a bit). Melanie did say, multiple times, that she was running out of options (she came to the Institute for that reason in MAG084); she doesn’t have answers but… it feels like she’s asking questions, and that’s a first important step, too.

- Which makes me realize that…

a) We never got a lot about Daisy’s own feelings and perception of events – and even then, only through… other people. Jon got her statement in MAG061 but Daisy was later pretty clear on the fact that she had never wanted to give it to him (MAG091); Elias pulled her through a “statement never given” in MAG082 and, in the same way, it was something she didn’t want to happen. Even her “testament” in MAG117, though HILARIOUS (Breathes / loads gun / “… Okay.” / CLICK.)… wasn’t about her. We learned that Basira was her last tie to humanity because Elias spat it in her face (MAG092), not because she admitted it. We know more funny bits about her (shows she likes etc.) thanks to MAG106, but it was through Basira. We’ve learned… almost nothing about Daisy from Daisy herself. So maybe we won’t lose her right away since… we’re lacking Her Words, too.

b) NOW I’M SCARED FOR MELANIE SINCE:

(MAG092) ELIAS: […] That’s what this place is, Jon, never forget it. You may believe yourself to have friends, to have confidantes, but in the end, all they are, is something for you to watch, to know, and ultimately to discard. This, at least, Gertrude understood.

………………… Tim died shortly after Jon was able to understand him a bit more, HELP………………

- Melanie coined it, “Team Archive” is officially canon now!!! (“Chalk it up as a win for Team Archive, I guess!”) Third-party family picture of it:

(MAG131) JARED: […] When we came up through the floor, it was wonderful. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on their faces. It was like their world had gone with the floor. The weak one legged it, and I thought the skinny one did too. There was just the copper. It weren’t dressed like one, but I know police when I smell it. They tried to run, but we were everywhere, and they couldn’t stop us undoing them for parts. You weren’t there, which was sad, but it made it easier. At least until the knife. I don’t know what the skinny one did, what she was, but that knife hurt. She screamed, and stabbed, and cut through all the others, ruining their perfect bodies. Then, she turned on me. Reached out with some of my hands, to get inside her, and pull her apart, and she cut them off. I got… scared. So I ran. I ran through the first door I found. And now I don’t know where I am.

a) Jon, not there, which is sad. b) Basira the cop c) Melanie canonically “skinny” compared to the others /o/ d) ……… Martin “the weak one”, AND HE RAN AWAY AGAIN………… which, once again, add some more… meat… to the trailer. Martin had felt so bad about leaving Jon and Tim behind during the Prentiss siege (remember his broken and tears-filled voice in MAG040?! Even Jon relented and went softer on him because of it!!), and he had resolved to be more active in MAG117, and then the Flesh attack happened, a few months later… That’s probably why he checked if the others would be fine when accepting Peter’s offer, and why he told Jon that more people would have been hurt if it wasn’t for him in MAG129, uh? The thing that tipped the balance and made him finally agree to Peter’s offer was probably guilt over not being able to help, and over running away when scared, once again.

- … Relatedly: where did Melanie’s special knife come from, since it was able to hurt Jared and even he was surprised?

(MAG123) BASIRA: Yeah, it was bad. We took them all out. Melanie did most of them. She was… she got a knife from somewhere and– ARCHIVIST: Basira, I… I don’t know if that’s a good sign…?

Did she literally materialize a knife out of nowhere? Did she infuse it with power because she was parasitised by the Slaughter bullet? I would go for that last option since she was able to injure Jon through a “scalpel” in MAG125 (it wasn’t one of her own weapons), but a third option: something from Artefact Storage or… sent by the Spider ~to help~?

- Basira’s relationship with police work is quite interesting because we met her as a police constable, her relevancy was initially tied to her job (it was thanks to her that Jon was able to access some of Gertrude’s tapes kept by the police); we saw her quit, disgusted by her hierarchy (MAG075), something she apparently doesn’t regret (MAG117: “I don’t want to be here. But by the end, I didn’t want to be police either, so… guess I don’t really know what I do want, which… maybe that’s just as well. My options… they’ve gotten a lot narrower over the last year.”) and now… She happens to be identified, more and more, through her police identity. Elias taunted her by greeting her in that way:

(MAG127) ELIAS: … Good evening. Detective. [STEPS COMING CLOSER] BASIRA: I’m not a detective. ELIAS: Of course.

Jared mentioned that she still felt like police to him (MAG131: “There was just the copper. It weren’t dressed like one, but I know police when I smell it.”), and also Melanie’s description of Basira which… kind or depicted her as if she had pushed the police mentality to the max? Melanie’s words were… concerning, to say the least, in how cold and casually calculating Basira looked to her:

(MAG131) MELANIE: […] Basira was right. The only way to do it was to completely betray my trust and destroy any remaining sense of safety. So, yes! Thank you. […] I mean, Basira is… [CHUCKLE], she’s been the only one for a long time, and, yes!, I sort of maybe hate her now! […] I can’t… look at her without my leg hurting, but what else am I going to do. I don’t want to be on my own, and I’m stuck here. So… ARCHIVIST: Basira said you were doing better. MELANIE: Would you just– stop?! […] [LONG EXHALE] Basira is, hum… Basira deals in “intel” these days, in “usable data”; assets, not “feelings”, not… “people”. Crying, shaking, nightmares, that is “better”. It doesn’t feel like it, but as far as Basira sees it, I’m not compromised anymore, and… that is “better”.

I think Melanie’s description might be more a sort of reflection of her own perception (and betrayal/awkwardness/resentment) rather than an objective truth, though, since… Basira has always shown a sort of cold pragmatism in the way she dealt with things and people around her. She’s always been blunt, harsh, doing things methodically to reach a goal. But even back then, we were shown that she cared; and right now, she could be suffering a bit from… the Jon syndrome: in the same way as Jon, she tends to come across as a bit more heartless and indifferent than she actually is – she rarely shows her concerns directly in front of people but reveals them in their absence. Melanie seems to think that Basira is mostly perceiving her through the lense of a cop’s eye, evaluating if she’s with or potentially against her, but Basira herself wasn’t so metallic when she was describing Melanie:

(MAG123) BASIRA: […] She’s not, uh… she’s not been having a good time. […] Well, just back off. You haven’t been here. […] She saved my life, Jon. She saved all of us. I won’t forget that.

(MAG125) BASIRA: […] Besides, I wanted to give her some space, y’know. But yeah. Living outside the Institute, ’s just not safe anymore.

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: How’s Melanie? BASIRA: How do you think? ARCHIVIST: I, er, I should probably… talk to h– BASIRA: You should probably stay as far away as possible. She doesn’t want to see you. […] But she did want me to… apologize. […] ARCHIVIST: Do–do you think it worked? Is she… BASIRA: I don’t know. She seems more… coherent, I guess. And you did get an apology. […] She said she can cry now, which is, hum… Progress, I think? She’s still angry but, she hasn’t attacked anyone. Not even sure she has it in her anymore. ARCHIVIST: Well that’s, that’s good! BASIRA: Hm.

And in the same way, Basira had been oddly defensive of Martin, also laying down that she understood that he has had his issues. Maybe it’s indeed just like Melanie said, and mostly strategy and cautious control from Basira, and she steeled herself to a dreadful extent after The Unknowing… but maybe it’s also that, just like Jon before the second half of season 3, Basira has trouble conveying that she cares when she’s in front of the relevant people, not able to deal with their feelings but aware that they’re hurt and in pain? We didn’t see Basira showering Melanie in care after what Elias did to her in MAG106, either: we saw that she cared in the way she noticed that Melanie wasn’t fine when Melanie refused to explain what had happened (MAG108), in the way she reminded Martin that the victim had been Melanie and sternly told him that they couldn’t allow Elias to go unpunished, (MAG110: “R–right, right. Sorry. I just… It’s just a lot to take in, y’know.” “Mostly for Melanie, yeah. […] We can't just ignore it. […] We are not letting him get away with it.”), in the way she VERY DRYLY told Elias that Melanie wouldn’t be there during the last pre-Unknowing briefing (MAG116: “Will… Melanie not be joining us?” “No. She won’t.” “Very well. I suppose that’s understandable.”)

So… it could be that Basira is heading down a dark path. It could also just be that she is having it rough and is handling herself, but others are feeling that she is more ruthless than she truly is inside.

- Re: Jared himself: * I feel so, so stupid. I hadn’t realized, until Jon referred to Jared as “The Boneturner”, that MAG017’s title, “The Boneturner’s Tale”, referred both to the title of the “Leitner” book… and to the fact that we witnessed the birth of The Boneturner as himself. Which makes sense given that it’s based on The Canterbury Tales, in which people are presented through their profession/status.

* Same as a lot of people: my ESL ears couldn’t understand Jared at aaaaall on first listenings, so thank you so much for the transcripts, Amil ;_; (Now I manage to follow the sentences! And without the voicecast, I would have never guessed that it was Alex voicing him, holy Mew.)

* GDI JONNY STOP MAKING SERIAL KILLERS SOUND ALMOST (almost.) (SYM)PATHETIC….. The thing is, I feel like we were led to think of Jared as… a bit slow and not very smart overall? due to the fact that he wasn’t talking a lot and because of how statement-givers had described him – especially because of Sebastian Adekoya:

(MAG017, Sebastian Adekoya) Jared and I had once been fast friends; growing up on the same road, attending the same schools, we had spent much of our early life as inseparable. But he had always been, well, not to put too fine a point on it, thick as mud, and when I went away to university, he stayed behind. I think he saw it as something of a betrayal, and when I finally returned, I knew immediately something had changed between us. […] I was, I will admit, a bit unsettled. As far as I could recall I had never seen Jared read… well, anything, really.

(…………….. that sounds awfully like Jared initially had a crush on Seb and grew to resent him, in fact.)

But no! Jared got marginalized as a kid because of his height, was actually well aware of his situation and lack of prospects, and given a drive when he lacked it? Wanted to make his parents happy although it was a Complete Disaster and terrifying? And was able to reaaaally get invested in things? Was aware of how people perceived him? Was aware that people would tell their stories to the Institute? And built a gym of friends (people who got what they wanted)?

(MAG131) JARED: […] I wrecked my school. I did have friends, but they left me, one by one, until all that I had were the dregs; the ones who stayed ‘coz they were too scared to leave. We were always either in trouble, or looking for it. Those were bad times. I tried to look ahead, but I couldn’t see anything. No future, no hope; just bitter parents, and whatever misery I could pass on to everyone else. God knows what would’ve happened if that little prick Sebastian hadn’t given me that book.

(L O L about the “given me that book”: according to Sebastian, he just took it and left.)

I’m especially impressed at how quickly he understood (and rolled with) what kind of “favour” Jon wanted from him:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Oh. O–okay. D–do you need to know… w–what it is? JARED: Not much you could want, comin’ to me. Put summat in. Take summat out. Which is it?

Let’s be honest: if someone was coming to Jon for something, right now, he wouldn’t assume they’re here to give a statement, you would have to tell him outright.

* One potentially reassuring thing for Jon: Jared said that… it’s possible to just refuse to participate in a ritual. That you can nope out of it, and apparently keep doing your own thing without slowly disappearing like what’s apparently happened with Tom Haan or Breekon:

(MAG131) JARED: […] There were others. Others of skin and hunger; they tried to talk to me about gods. They’d go on and on about remaking the world; of a new day of blood and flesh. I told them to piss off. I like the world just as it is. I take what I want and I make myself more, and when people look at me… that fear – it feels amazing. Some of my mates, the ones I helped find their proper bodies, they listened, and went to feed the hunger. Not me though. I never was that ambitious.

Though: I’m not sure that Jon… would be okay even with turning his back on the ceremony, given his title as The Archivist (it seems a bit more important, less… independent than what Jared is?); and also… Jared sustained himself through the fear he inflicted on others (Jude had explained the “feeding what feeds you” aspect, and Jon hadn’t been able to tell what he was supposed to feed to Beholding). I think that Jonny also mentioned in the Season 3’s Q&A that Avatars’ purpose is to bring suffering and misery onto others? So. Is Jon really simply feeding Beholding through the fears left on the statements’ paper (and his own fear from reading the statements), or is there something else…? (I’m still concerned about the nature of his nightmares and what it’s been doing to the live statement-givers all this time… ;;)

* Relatedly: first time Jon has taken a live-statement (by himself, excluding Oliver oversharing in front of his comatose body.) in season 4. I guess that yeah, uh, I won’t feel super sorry for Jared if it traps him in Jon’s ~slim collection of gifted nightmares~, especially since apparently, full-fledged Avatars are able to push Jon away from theirs? (MAG120: “he even longs for the terrible dream of the melted woman, who would see everything desolated without rhyme or reason. But she was beyond his reach the moment she knew he was there.”) But I wonder, in any case, if we’ll hear about this as an additional dream. If so… yeah, enjoy, Jon. The statement was short, it wasn’t up to Your Standards, but it won’t be a nice experience.

- Obvious Donphan In The Room: CONGRATS ON GETTING YOUR “FLESH” WOUND JON!!

… Now he’s only missing The Buried’s and we know that Coffin Is Coming; The Dark, with cultists lurking around the Institute; The Lonely, with Peter Lukas running the place (… or having Martin running it for him). The speculation about MARTIN ending up being the one to carve a metaphorical Lonely scar into Jon…………. is getting ominously more and more possible??? Gdi ;;;;;

Live-statements wise (I’m counting “Extracted From Subject” here), from Avatars, Jon got: * The Stranger (MAG128, Breekon) * The Spiral (MAG101, Michael) * The Desolation (MAG089, Jude Perry) * The Vast (MAG091, Mike Crew) * The Hunt (MAG061, Alice “Daisy” Tonner” + MAG109, Julia Montauk and Trevor Herbert) * The End (MAG121, Oliver Banks) * The Flesh (MAG131, Jared Hopworth)

+ Amongst victims/witnesses rather than active lives-wreckers, Jon also received The Corruption (MAG055, Jordan Kennedy), The Lonely (MAG013, Naomi Herne), The Dark (MAG073, Basira), The Slaughter (MAG076, Melanie), The Buried (MAG071, Karolina Górka).

Still missing The Web and Beholding, unless one (or both) of them was the thing happening in MAG065 + potentially the New Emergence (… unless it was the thing happening in MAG065). Jon is completing a set in that regard, too…

- I’m a Simple Person very obsessed with the conflicted relationship between Jon and doors, so I was floored that Jon:

(MAG131) MELANIE: Here. [FOOTSTEPS STOP] ARCHIVIST: Oh. … This, this door… It shouldn’t be here. MELANIE: Yes. ARCHIVIST: I, er… I don’t want to open it! I’m not going to. MELANIE: [SIGHS] [KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK] She’s been helping us.

1°) refused to open or KNOCK ON A DOOR, and Melanie had to do it for him. (To be fair with Jon: he tried to open Michael’s door in MAG101, expecting this to be one of his last moments. It’s not especially an appealing thing to do again.)

2°) ended up going in after a bit of talking. That door… used to terrify him, according to Elias?

(MAG120) ELIAS: […] There is a door in front of him. A yellow door. He knows the dream it used to lead to; he knows it well. But that’s not where it leads anymore. He does not know what is behind it anymore, and he is deathly afraid of finding out. The Archivist turns away.

(;; That was probably Helen’s statement before she replaced Michael in MAG101, since she had given her live-statement…) So. Jon faced it and opened it! And he thanked her, we’re so shocked and proud!! Progress!!

- … I’m super worried about what is coming in season 4, since Jon used to say his “Shit” of the season pretty far in:

(MAG039) PRENTISS: Archivist. TIM: Ah. ARCHIVIST: … Shit.

(MAG078) MICHAEL: You – Need – A door. ARCHIVIST: NO. No, I–I just… I need… [DISTORTED VOICE FROM THE NOT!SASHA CALLING OUT HIS NAME AGAIN] ARCHIVIST: SHIT!

(MAG099) BREEKON: ‘scuse us. HOPE: Are you Jonathan Sims? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, wha–? Oh, sh– [THE ARCHIVIST EXCLAIMS & COUGHS AS THE WIND IS KNOCKED OUT OF HIM]

(MAG131) MELANIE: […] It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it. ARCHIVIST: … Shit.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, LET’S ALL CELEBRATE!!! Melanie is now officially our New Designated (Bi?) Sayer Of Fuck!

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Oh, I… Melanie, I–I’m so sorry, I– MELANIE: Oooh, fuck off?!

Rest in fucking pieces, Tim, someone is taking care of saying “Fuck” to Jon ;w;

- Jon, that was your Worst Introduction Ever:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Uh. Statement of Jared Hopworth, the Boneturner. Statement begins.

No mention of who is recording, what it's about, and no date (we wouldn’t know it was March 20th if not for the episode’s case number). Jon, You Have One Job. Jon. Jon.

… The way Jon very quickly accepted to give up one of his ribs when it’s supposed to be ~a precious anchor~ still makes me facepalm, but to be fair, he reacted quickly and… it didn’t sound like he was especially thirsty for the statement itself:

(MAG131) JARED: Guarantees? None. But I want to leave more than I want to kill you. Not like it was my idea in the first place. ARCHIVIST: So…[STATIC:] Why did you and the others attack us? JARED: I was asked. You want my statement, that’s gonna cost you another rib. ARCHIVIST: I–I could just pull the information out of you. [MENACINGLY MEATY MURMURS] JARED: You could try. ARCHIVIST: Okay. Fine. A rib for me, a rib for you; your freedom and a statement. JARED: Yeah. Alright. ARCHIVIST: Right. Statement first.

Jared had already mentioned that Jon was specifically the target; it was… about getting information about who had siced him on The Archives. And indeed, we don’t learn a lot about it in the end, but the news that someone has been pulling strings to the point of organizing an attack against the Archives was quite big…

;; It’s a bit heartbreaking, and also !!, to see that Jon is getting better at understanding negotiations with avatars. He still does things that he probably shouldn’t (sarcasm and threats and forced compulsion are nnnnnot the Greatest Things to do against things that can physically wreck you), but… he also quickly picks up on how he can find a common agreement. Compare him now to how Jude had wrecked his hand in MAG089, in exchange for information about Mike Crew… Jon is more in control – still a bit panicky, not at ease, but he understands the logic and how exchanges are supposed to work.

- True Romance is giving one of your ribs to someone on your first meeting:

(MAG131) JARED: […] Anyway, this one’s for me. [MORE MOBILE MEAT NOISES, THIS TIME OF INSERTION] Huh. That’s a weird one. Not sure I like it. Still. Mine now. ARCHIVIST: [WEAKLY] I supp… I suppose it is.

… I think that Jon, Melanie or Helen would have commented about it, if the rib Jon was clutching at the end of the episode was, let’s say, COVERED IN EYES LIKE IN MAG127. So it’s probably not the case. But still: Jared felt something weird about it. Will it mean something…? Will it be poison for him…? Will Beholding take a look at Jared from the inside. uwu

- Tiny thing but that could turn out to be relevant later:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: I was down here just yesterday, and there wasn’t– MELANIE: Here. ARCHIVIST: Oh. This, this door… It shouldn’t be here.

If the sound is any indication, they were in the tunnels. Which means… that Jon explicitly mentioned spending time down there. What is he doing? Trying to map them out, using them to get in and out of the Institute like Tim used to? Planning something?

Basira left at the end of MAG128 (3rd March 2018); it’s been 17 days since then, almost 5 weeks since Jon woke up from his “coma”, and… we still don’t really know what Jon is doing with his time. He only recorded and listened to two statements since Basira’s departure, and we know he can’t really do much follow-up lately so… What are you not telling us, Jon…?

- I’ll never get tired of Jon conking the heck out, and it’s been twice in a short amount of time! <3 (MAG128 after the reading of Breekon’s statement, MAG131 after the ribs extraction.) What is your life, Jon.

- Oh My Gods, Jon, You Can’t Just Ask People Why They Didn’t Kill Someone.

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: I see. … Why didn’t you kill him? MELANIE: I stabbed him in three different hearts – didn’t work. If you want to go hunting for a fourth, knock yourself out. ARCHIVIST: I, er… I’m alright, I think.

mELANIE…

- I am SO delighted about the news that Helen has been back and helping!!! I missed her so much gdi!!! And I really wasn’t expecting that she had been around all this time, that she had saved the Archives Team since Melanie stabbing three hearts didn’t manage to take down Jared!!

And I feel bad now for calling her “Helen” with quotation marks and taking extra-precaution to designate her differently from MAG047’s Helen Richardson, since… Helen took offense from the “It” and Melanie calls Helen “she”, so let’s trust Melanie on Helen’s correct pronouns! :w

* To be fair to Jon, Helen-as-the-new-Distortion was extremely confusing, identity-wise, in MAG101 and MAG115! She spoke about “Helen” in third person, but sounding like it was a constant push-pull between being and not being (MAG115: “I don’t, I don’t think I have a choice but to be Helen. Self is difficult.”); admitting to have killed a man, and not being satisfied by it but… not being overly upset about murdering an innocent person either (;; have there been others, since then…?); making Jon an offer to evolve alongside each other when The Unknowing was coming close and Jon was precisely trying to put himself together. But if Helen indeed didn’t lie… she could have helped, indeed, back then ;; She could have used her doors to transport them to the wax museum and ensure their safety…

* I do like how Helen suggested that Jon not put a clear delimitation between humanity and monsterhood; it was both… a sort of invitation for Jon to stop angsting about it, and to stop trying to run away from it? And it also echoed what Jon himself had wondered about, about being himself, when he woke up (MAG122: “I’m… I’m… I’m trying to focus. Trying to make sure I’m the same me as before, but… how can anyone really remember that? How do you know… you’re the same person that went to sleep…?”).

(MAG131) MELANIE: She’s been helping us. ARCHIVIST: It has never helped anyone. Not without a cost. [THE DOOR CREAKS OPEN] HELEN: If I’m an “it”, Archivist, then what does that make you? [THE DOOR CREAKS CLOSED] MELANIE: Hi, Helen. ARCHIVIST: I have been told that you could help. HELEN: I have been trying to. But the last time you were very rude. ARCHIVIST: And you’re still wearing her face. HELEN: Not this again. I’m not “wearing” anything, Archivist. I am at least as much Helen Richardson as you are the Jonathan Sims that first joined this institute. Things change. People change. It happens. ARCHIVIST: … We’re not “people”, though, are we? Not anymore. HELEN: Names. Categories. It’s all so important to you, isn’t it? You do know none of it is actually real. It’s all just meaningless boxes.

(Though: Avatars and monsters still tend to call Jon “Archivist” – they’re also the ones putting Jon in a box?)

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH………… BECAUSE GUESS WHAT…………… GUESS WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN RIGHT ABOUT THIS AFTER ALL……………

(MAG092) ARCHIVIST: […] Am I… Elias, am I still human? ELIAS: Jon, what does human even mean? I mean, really? You still bleed, you can still die. And your will is still your own, mostly. That’s more than can be said for a lot of the “real’ humans out there.

*FLIPS TABLE* I WOULD LIKE TO FIND HELEN’S WORDS INSPIRING BUT… IT’S ALSO WHAT FUCKING ELIAS SAID… WHY IS THIS EPISODE A STRING OF IMPLIED “ELIAS HAD BEEN RIGHT ABOUT X AND Y”……………………

* That said, I’m also laughing that:

(MAG131) MELANIE: Is… he still in there? HELEN: Oh, yes. He’s not exactly something that I can… digest. He’s a bit of an irritant, to be honest. If you’re looking to let him out, I can be persuaded. […] MELANIE: … Did you let that… thing go?

(Bwahahah about Helen calling Jared an “irritant”, when Elias had qualified Michael with that word.) For all that talk about showing respect to People-Who-Changed-And-Became-Spooks, Melanie really had trouble calling Jared a “he”, uh. (But well. She stabbed three of his hearts. That gives her a peculiar point of view.)

* Was that a reference to periods.

(MAG131) HELEN: Hm. Bodies are strange. Rather glad they’re not my concern anymore. MELANIE: Must be nice. HELEN: [CHEERFUL] It really is!

* OOPSIE, so. If Martin knew that Helen was around and that she saved them from Jared… I have trouble picturing him taking her presence kindly. (MAG118: “being left to wander impossible corridors for weeks!” ;;)

* ANYWAY, HELEN IS THE BESTEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO TEAM ARCHIVES, OKAY.

(MAG131) MELANIE: … Did you let that… thing go? HELEN: He found a door. MELANIE: … Where did he come out? HELEN: The door may have been in a bwall, some distance above a river. MELANIE: [CHUCKLE] Nice…!

She’s totally nailing the Keeping My Promise (And Wrecking You At The Same Time) aspect of monsterhood, uh! =DD

(MAG131) HELEN: Good luck, Archivist! Be seeing you.

Look!! She’s even being a good guest by using the awful pun of the local patron which is currently housing her door!!

* There was something in this episode about the fact that Avatars or people-who-are-not-total-spooks(-yet) are Their Own Person: Jared refused to participate in his god’s own ritual, out of sheer disinterest; Melanie explained that the anger wasn’t coming from the bullet but was her own; Helen has decided to help, despite what one could expect from The Spiral (or is it a trap? She sounded genuine and given the overall message I felt from the episode, I don’t think she was lying and trying to mislead here, that she wouldn’t be able to fight a sort of natural instinct); Jon is trying to save Daisy despite the fact that The Archivist is supposed to be “the Observer” and that Beholding is usually described as… amazingly passive. It’s really like how Gertrude made her own choices, decided whom to sacrifice and how in order to reach her aims? I wonder if this will lead to something about Daisy? When we left her in MAG119, she was chaotic and filled with violence (Breekon described her as “feral”); in the same way, that violence is… most probably her own, building up since she was a kid. Maybe she isn’t as lost and Far Gone as what I feared; maybe there will be a way to hear her words, too?

- So many character developments points for Jon…

* I’M SO PROUD OF JON FOR TRYING TO APOLOGIZE HERE AND THERE… it was good! And he ended up understanding that it wasn’t the point, and did what Melanie asked him to do – shutting up and listening to what SHE wanted to say!!!

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Oh, I… Melanie, I–I’m so sorry, I– MELANIE: Oooh, fuck off?! […] ARCHIVIST: Basira said you were doing better. MELANIE: Would you just– stop?! ARCHIVIST: No– Right, no– MELANIE: This isn’t better! ARCHIVIST: M–Melanie, I, I– […] M–Melanie, it, it– MELANIE: Don’t tell me to calm down! Don’t you dare–! ARCHIVIST: [LOW] Right… Yes. I… […] Maybe… maybe it’s enough to start healing, start… letting go of the anger. MELANIE: Oh, just stop! Just stop and– listen. ARCHIVIST: Okay.

Jon has grown up so much and it involves shutting up!!!

* He didn’t apologize to Helen but listened to her! And thanked her!!!

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Right. Uh… [WINCES] Thank you. … For your… for your help. HELEN: You are very welcome. I have decided that I support what you’re doing, and I’m happy to assist. I think we’ll all be much happier this way.

Progress!!

* GAASSSPPSSSS

(MAG131) MELANIE: Basira’s not going to be happy that you let him out. ARCHIVIST: [SCOFF] Basira isn’t here. … And if this works…! I’ll have Daisy waiting for her when she gets back, so I don’t think she’ll be thinking – too much about Jared.

Is… is this Jon finally understanding about lesbians………………….

(Jooooon, but what about YOU freeing Jared into the wild… There will be people coming to you, in a few months/years, telling you about how they lost a loved one or were tortured by him, maybe, if your bone doesn’t kill him or if he doesn’t drown thanks to Helen… I’m surprised that he didn’t think about the consequences here, even though he had highlighted that he was upset at the thought of people getting killed and victimized by the Fears…?)

(;; And the idea that getting Daisy back would cheer up Basira is such a simplistic reasoning, at the same time… almost childish? Very pure? Like a child knowing they did something their parents would disapprove of on principle, but hoping that the consequences will make up for it anyway? And the way Jon is banking on Basira forgetting about his freeing Jared because Daisy would be back… probably means that no, it won’t be that easy and simple and nice, uh…)

- People not saying anything but conveying in their tone that “Sure, Jon.” (/You Do You) when Jon tries to explain the thing about “anchor” really cracks me up:

(MAG131) MELANIE: [INHALES SHARPLY] So! Why are you trying to chop off your finger? ARCHIVIST: [AWKWARDLY] O–oh, I, I–I am– [CLEARS THROAT] I nee–need a… I’ve been thinking of it a–as an anchor. I think. I… know. Something I have a connection to, th–that I can use to find my way out of the Coffin when I reach Daisy. I–I figured the strongest anchor would be… part of my own body. [BREATHLESS LAUGH] MELANIE: Okay. So… just cut it off.

[…] JARED: That’s yours. What’s it for? [PAINED SOUNDS OF RECOVERY] ARCHIVIST: [STAMMERING] Um… A, a–an anchor JARED: Huh. Right. Anyway, this one’s for me.

[…] [CLICK–] HELEN: Still alive? MELANIE: Seems to be, yes. HELEN: And he’s certainly holding a bone, for some reason. MELANIE: Said it was going to be an… “anchor”.

Nobody is impressed rezufsdhjnfez.

- How could you ever say that Jon wasn’t funny, Martin:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: That’s it? [SNORT] Hardly worth a rib. [JARED LOOMS FORWARD] [PLACATINGLY] Alright! Alright. Is it, uh… Is it going to hurt? JARED: Dunno. Doesn’t hurt me. [THE ARCHIVIST MAKES IT BE KNOWN THAT IT DOES RATHER] [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF MEAT AND BONE MOVEMENT]

(I missed the official transcripts and their official descriptors so, so much efdshjxnefd.)

Anyway! Jon… Oooh, Jon… you already did know about that one. You had already read from someone who had gotten a bone removed by Jared himself…

(MAG049, Gregory Pryor) “There is… no way to describe what it feels like, to have bone pulled out of you through your unbroken skin. If you’ve ever been stabbed, or had a decent-sized object embedded in you, maybe you can remember how it felt to have it removed, but even then, the pain is of a different quality. The nerves aren’t being… torn, or cut; they’re being pushed aside, like water. Imagine the feeling of removing a rubber glove from your hand but… you’re the glove, not the hand. And it hurts like the worst toothache you can imagine, it– That’s as close as I can get to putting it into words. […] I can still feel it sometimes, like it’s still there. I know it’s just phantom limb syndrome but… sometimes I swear it feels like my bone’s still out there, twisting in someone else’s arm… ”

So yep! It was supposed to hurt! And hurt it did!

Also enjoy feeling your rib twisting in Jared’s torso (or wherever he put it), Jon…………….

- I think this was the most unsettling episode ever for me. WHAT A BEGINNING, WOW, THANKS, THAT WAS AWFUL AND… not even exactly gruesome, but very disturbing? Not so much for the sounds of Jon trying to cut off his own finger but because of his shaky cries of pain while doing it.

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: […] [PAINED FRUSTRATION] Oh, come on! Everyone else can carve up the Archivist but– when he actually needs it…! […] MELANIE: [INHALES SHARPLY] So! Why are you trying to chop off your finger? ARCHIVIST: O–oh, I, I–I am– [CLEARS THROAT] I–I need a… I’ve been thinking of it as a–a, an anchor, I–I think. I… know. Something I have a connection to, th–that I can… use to find my way out of the coffin, when I reach Daisy. I–I figured the strongest anchor would be…. part of my own body. [BREATHLESS LAUGH] MELANIE: Okay. So… just cut it off. ARCHIVIST: Er, I’m… doing my best. MELANIE: [HUFF] Can’t go through with it? ARCHIVIST: Oh, th–the blade keeps going in! And… it hurts… hurts plenty. But then it heals up, pretty much the moment I take it out – no wound, no scar… nothing.

YEAH, YOU BET, I COULD HEAR THAT.

So, is it not working because it’s Jon doing it to himself, or because only Spooks can harm him (temporarily) now? Gooooosh, the fact that Jon tried and tried again, and was losing it with pain/anguish but kept trying for a good while… (If he manages to get Daisy back and she’s not too far gone: I wonder if they would try to test the limits and conditions of Jon’s healing abilities?)

That also ;; answers (without any question) the matter of whether Jon would be able to self-harm, or to try to… avert his fate, at the last moment. Apparently, no. I’m guessing that the auto-regeneration is more akin to a reflex, and it should be a good thing (he can heal very fast! can’t even get harmed through normal means!)…  But it’s awfully creepy to know for sure that Jon doesn’t have that control over his own body anymore – that his body doesn’t really belong to him anymore, and that what he wants to and can do with it are now two different things.

- Which should have been a first red flag for Jon about his idea of using his own body as an anchor. AND THE SECOND ONE WAS OBVIOUSLY:

(MAG131) JARED: Not much you could want, comin’ to me. Put summat in. Take summat out. Which is it? ARCHIVIST: Take something out. … A bone. A rib, probably. S–something I won’t miss.

(+ Bonus of accepting super-quickly to give up on another rib and to give it to Jared against his statement.)

“Something I won’t miss” OH MY GODS JON, DO YOU EVER STOP AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF………. HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO WORK AS AN ANCHOR IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO MISS IT, IF YOU’RE NOT EXCEPTIONALLY ATTACHED TO IT……. J O N…………..

- Maybe the Rib-As-Anchor will work but I’m Very Sceptical About It. So many ways and reasons for it to work or to not work with everything going very wrong anyway!

* The rib works, Jon goes back to the surface with Daisy, she’s still in (or returns to) the “feral” state she was in during the Unknowing and manages to flee. Jon now has two missing ribs, an empty coffin, a very dangerous Daisy on the loose, and a lovely Story to tell to Basira, who will… not be very happy about it.

* The other rib works and Jon comes out somewhere in front of Jared; feral!Daisy butchers The Ex-Butcher (which could solve the Jared problem) and escapes, same as above re:Basira.

* The ribs don’t work because Jon literally said it would be something he wouldn’t miss, or they actually… already grew back in his own very messed up Beholding body; Jon compulses Daisy into thinking about her own anchor (like he grounded Tim during the Unknowing), and she thinks about Basira, and Daisy gets the both of them out.

* Same as above except Daisy gets out and Jon is still stuck. Either gets out by thinking about Georgie or Martin OR THE MEMORIES OF TIM&SASHA, L I S T E N, I SHIP JON/MARTIN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT I WOULD D I E IF JON WERE ABLE TO RECOVER HIS MEMORIES OF THE REAL SASHA’S FACE AND TIM’S LAST MOMENTS IN A DIRE SITUATION AND THAT IT WOULD BE THE THING SAVING HIM, ALLOWING HIM TO GET BACK………, either he ends up needing exterior help to get out – Basira coming back right in time? Martin doing something? Martin asking Peter to save Jon? The Web having to send someone/something again?

- It also worked when Sasha and Tim were still around *WHIMPERS LOUDLY*, but: nobody in Extended Team Archives is a heterosexual dude! So All Likelyhoods aside, I want Daisy back and a team sleepover down in the tunnels, between Daisy-Basira-Melanie-Helen, and Jon being… there. Honorary guest or person-who-had-to-pay-for-the-food. (Get Martin back, put him there too, for max awkwardness!)

Shhh. Shhhhh. *cries*

Patreons have the title so, yep, well, we know the main subject, uh. (Both “being x” for Daisy, and “getting x” for Jon, I’m guessing…?)

[musesofconstantchange]

We Have To Talk About Batman

So, I just read The Batman Who Laughs #3 and Detective Comics #998, and I can’t hold it in anymore. We need to talk about how Batman is the worst character in comics right now. 

For those unaware, the previous holder of this title was Deadpool, but previous luminaries include Cyclops, Wolverine, Hal Jordan, and many others. Rather than talk about all of them, let’s focus on Deadpool and why he held it, and you’ll likely grasp why the others did as well. 

First, Deadpool at his best is a humorous, witty character who swaps between moments of humor with striking, honest takes on serious topics. He is both comic relief and the character that points out the moral incongruities in the protagonist’s actions. As a protagonist, he is well suited to commentary on many things, because of his nature as an outsider sort of character. At his worst, he’s the signal to the reader that nothing that follows his appearance matters, because his existence is akin to throwing the stakes out the window. At his worst, he’s the character that derails anything resembling tonal consistency, and at his worst, he’s the character to whom all others are sacrificed in order to keep him from coming off as a psychotic madman that ruins everything. At his worst, he’s the character that all others must prostrate themselves before, no matter what he’s done, because to accept that this character is flawed is to call into question the writer’s ability to actually write a nuanced character, and we can’t have that. 

You can probably tell already how all of the other mentioned characters have fallen into this trap whenever they become extremely popular, as writers with more interest in being attached to a hot property than writing good stories use them. So it was when Wolverine was the hottest character in comics, so it was when Hal Jordan was the next hot shit, so it now is with Batman. 

Of course, the problem with Batman is that Batman is a character whose main flaws have been around so long that they are now parody; everyone jokes about the ‘i’m the goddamn batman’ line, and laughs at the ‘who wins in a fight, x or batman with prep time’ joke, but these hide the fact that the character of Batman himself has become the biggest mary sue in comics today. His entire character has been so flanderized, so utterly lost inside the infinite layers of parody and lack of self awareness, that all joy has been lost from the character. 

Let us be honest here: the core idea of Batman is not the problem. There is a reason that there are so many Batman cartoons, and it is in no small part because Batman as a character is an almost universal one. A child suffers a great tragedy and uses that as the moment where he begins his heroic journey towards making things better. This is neither dumb nor uninteresting. 

The problem is that writers of batman have, for a very long time, been very uncomfortable with the idea of who Batman is. Batman at his best is a detective, a man of science and reason and restraint, a man who resists his darker urges in comparison to the obsessives that make up his rogue’s gallery. He is a mortal man, a flawed man, but he is always a man, in that he is human and not a god. It is why he is a member of the “trinity” and the Justice League, because he is the mortal element. He is the perspective of the common man compared to the near godlike beings ( Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Martian Manhunter ) and cosmic focused heroes ( Green Lantern, Hawkgirl ) that he is surrounded by. He is the one that can say ‘look, you all mean well, but remember how you look to the normal guy.’ 

But this Batman is not popular with writers. Indeed, ever since The Dark Knight Returns, the version of Batman that has become the most common is the paranoid, near psychopathic, almost godlike messiah figure who is always right, who is never wrong for taking immoral actions, whose character all others are sacrificed to in order to ensure we all know how great he is. This Batman isn’t a mere man who uses his inherited wealth and sense of right and wrong to try and make the world a better place. This Batman is someone who is the best at everything, who constantly treats friends, allies, and family members as disposable or hindrances, who sees nothing wrong with spending his time planning on how best to kill all his friends and family, and who must constantly be shown to be smarter and better than all around him. 

This Batman is a super rich mega genius who has been trained by all the world’s best people, who can never be physically defeated by anyone or mentally outwitted by them. This is Batman, invincible ninja playboy billionaire genius. 

It has always been rather egregious on some level, but as time has gone by, successive writers have only deepened the problem, incrementally moving further and further towards the complete mary sue he is today. The fact that Batman needs a giant robot suit, the fact that Batman could put together such a thing somehow despite it requiring genius level knowledge in robotics and electrical and mechanical engineering, speaks to the levels of broken the character is. When movies are made where the concept of Batman vs. Superman is created to justify the existence and need for a giant robot suit so that Batman, a mortal man, can fight godlike beings, you are fundamentally failing to grasp the character and what that character is supposed to be. 

Example, from the recent and aforementioned Detective Comics #998: 

Ah yes, because you know what Batman needed? A giant robot suit that was put together by the Justice League with all their powers because he wasn’t awesome enough. Also, that ‘weakness’ that’s described? That’s not a weakness, which we the reader find out about it when he literally pushes it to the extreme and he’s completely fine from doing so. 

But I can understand how this might come off as just me being mad that Batman has his own Iron Man suit. It’s not. The suit itself is not the issue. It’s what the suit represents that is. Because the whole reason that this exists in this is because Batman can’t stop going to people who trained him, which is basically half the known DC universe. It’s not just that he studied under Wildcat, best fighter alive, and Zatara, best escape artist alive, and Jason Blood, best fear creator alive, and Dr. Stone, one of the greatest inventors in the DC universe. The list goes on. Batman has a staggering amount of former tutors, who apparently imparted upon him near infinite knowledge of all things. 

And it’s not just this near omniscient knowledge of everything either. He’s also physically better than everyone. He’s a master martial artist of a dozen styles who also knows every weapon style known to man. Oh, and apparently he’s also one of the best marksman on earth. From this week’s The Batman Who Laughs #3: 

Because that’s what Batman needed, more skills! 

And make no mistake, all of this makes Batman extremely boring, which is not something Batman should be. A lot of this can be chalked up to writers literally having no idea how to write a challenge for him anymore. At first, the plan was simply to make all of Batman’s villains overwhelmingly overpowered as well. This is why the Joker is somehow also a super ninja genius of everything who can conjure impossible chemicals and defeat the entire legion of doom on his own because he’s just so powerful and smart and crazy! It’s why most of Batman’s villains don’t even really fight Batman any more, it’s usually Batman fighting himself. As we saw in Kings of Fear, the entire series is nothing but Batman in his own head, the Scarecrow didn’t actually do anything. 

Speaking of Batman fighting himself, let’s talk about Batman: Metal. 

Look, I love me some multi-verse. I love Elseworlds. I think one of the greatest tragedies in comics was the decline of the multiverse concept in comics. But Batman: Metal goes from being about the return of the multiverse to being the latest in a long line of resignations that the only person who can compete with Batman is... Batman himself. 

All the villains are various versions of Batman who, you guessed it, killed all the other members of the Justice League. Now, if you were a crafty, or moderately smart writer, you might realize that having a universe where all your nightmares are real means that this is a great way to show how wrong your character is! After all, it’s made of their beliefs in what things are, not what they actually are, which is why Batman’s idea of him becoming Green Lantern involves him using a hard light ring to make darkness and the like. 

What this should do, is provide the writer with some ability to show how Batman isn’t a one-man show. That when Batman’s idea of what makes those other heroes strong runs up against the real thing, his ideas lose. But no, Batman wins, because Batman always wins, because heaven forbid Batman be wrong about other people. Apparently, Hal Jordan being the greatest Green Lantern means nothing compared to Batmans complete and utter bastardization of the concept of the ring, just as Wonder Woman being a near immortal godlike warrior who’s trained for centuries means nothing compared to Batman in what he thinks is the helmet of Ares. And it’s the same as Batman also clearly being better than the greatest Flash that ever lived because apparently Batman also has complete knowledge of the speed force now. 

But almost all of what I’ve talked about could be reasoned away or excused if the moral center of Batman’s character wasn’t utterly corrupt. Consider this mentality for why Batman has contingencies and plans for every possible outcome, and why he plans for the possibility wherein he’ll need to kill all his supposed friends. The world is a dangerous place, and those people have powers, and you never know what might happen that might cause them to go over the edge. We don’t know what might cause Superman to go rogue and kill everyone. Or what might cause Wonder Woman to destroy the world of man. Or what might cause Aquaman to flood the world in the name of Atlantis! All it could take is one bad day! 

Is that possibly true? Sure. But that’s not the mentality of Batman, that’s the mentality of the Joker. Joker is the one who believes that everyone is just one bad day from turning into a psychotic monster, who believes civility and decency are facades that people use to hide the fact that deep inside we’re all animals and monsters who will eat each other given half a chance. He’s the one who believes that people are all naturally bad, that people aren’t really decent, that anyone can be made into a monster and will give up their morality at the first opportunity. That’s the entire concept of his character and why he opposes Batman. It’s also why Batman opposes him. 

Because Batman at his core is not meant to be an agent of vengeance. He’s not the Spectre. He’s not the Punisher. Batman is supposed to be someone who believes that people are ultimately good, that people are not all one step away from committing atrocities and war crimes, that people are, by virtue of their humanity, good people at heart. Not everyone is good, but people aren’t all monsters inside, and the reason Batman needs to exist is because someone has to stand up for the fact that there are still good people in the world. 

If Batman doesn’t believe that people are good, if Batman believes that everyone is one step away from committing mass murder, then Batman is no different then the Joker. When Batman does things like make spy satellites to gather information on other hero’s weaknesses and bugs the rooms of his supposed family members, he’s not just not being Batman, he’s behaving exactly counter to the very values that Batman should be representing. 

If Batman cannot trust his allies on the Justice League to be good people, then how is he any different from Amanda Waller? If Batman cannot trust his ‘family’ to the point where he feels the need to bug their homes and spy on them, why exactly did he train them? If Batman cannot believe that there is any real good in the world, then why exactly is he Batman? 

Hopefully I’ve demonstrated that the problem with Batman as a character is more than skin deep. The issue of him being an overpowered superhuman being are problematic. The issue of him being a near psychopathic figure whose mental state reads like an episode of Making a Murderer is problematic. The issue of him being completely unmoored from any sort of heroic morality is problematic. 

Taken together, the character represents the worst of mary sue writing. He is a character who routinely commits morally and ethically objectionable actions and suffers no fallout for them; he is a character that all others are constantly made to seem inferior towards; he is a character whose very nature and concept must constantly be revised and changed because the writers cannot bear to let the character whose defining trait is his humanity actually be human. 

He is a character whose jokes have become the reality; where the exaggerations are now the baseline. Batman now is little more than a patchwork of skills and gadgets, of psychosis and grimdark man pain. It would be comedic, perhaps, if Frank Millers All Star Batman and Robin, from which the iconic ‘i’m the goddamn batman’ arises, was some kind of outlier. Yet for all the jokes and derision that comic gets, and rightly so, very little distinguishes it from the mainstream depiction of Batman in comics more generally. The flanderization of Batman is complete, and this is why Batman is now the worst character in comics. 

[lostinlogicerror]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: ゴールデンカムイ | Golden Kamuy (Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences, Gen Warnings: Major Character Death Characters: Tsukishima Hajime, Koito Otonoshin, Minor mentions of other characters Additional Tags: canon compliant till chapter 198, reflection, angst, reaching inner peace, first fic Summary:

Tsukishima reacts to Koito's death.

By the time he catches up to the group, everyone's already in upheaval.

Between Asirpa's haunted looks, Sugimoto's fervorous muttering, and Private Tanigaki's disjointed explanations, he's trying to grasp the entirety of the situation. Ogata's escaped. But that's not the worst of it.

That’s not the worst of it.

The revelation doesn't quite sink in until Tanigaki hurriedly leads him inside the hospital and straight to the room, left in quite a disarray. Tsukishima finds his eyes inadvertently drawn to the pool of dark red blood staining the floor and-

Inhaling sharply he forces himself to close his eyes.

Anything to postpone having to confront the picture in front of him, confirming his worst fears.

He knew. Somehow he knew, he couldn't entrust this to- that everything's going to go downhill the moment he loses from his sight this ragtag team consisting of uncertain allegiances, conveniently heading off and leaving only him behind in Nivkh village. He's still surprised at how quickly it all unravels.

He's trying to imagine feverish Ogata - still coming down from his anesthesia, highly strung out on narcotic pain relievers no doubt - somehow getting better of and outwitting these experienced and trained adult men, making his grand escape through the harsh snowy terrain in unforgiving cold, soon to freeze to death if he hasn't already and for the first time in ever Tsukishima wonders whether he might be in fact dreaming.

Perhaps he's still stuck in trenches, bleeding out, living out his mind's last inexplicable delusions. Perhaps he's drawing his last breath in one of the numerous medical tents, in spite of medics' best efforts. That'd certainly explain the familiar unpleasant smells invading his nostrils.

Hesitant words coming from Tanigaki who's apparently still by his side almost startle him, bringing him back to present.

Whether Tanigaki's offering him words of sympathy or asking for further directions, it doesn't matter, he's only half-listening to what he has to say.

(is this what leading people truly is like? oh he doesn't envy it)

He knows he should get a move on and think of ramifications later but his body won't listen.

(were these two to seize this opportunity and make a run for it now, he wouldn't be able to stop them. still, if it comes to it, he figures sooner or later Asirpa's going to make her way back to them of her own volition, with or without Sugimoto's say so)

It occurs to him briefly, the unbidden thought at the back of his mind, he wouldn't be so helpless right now if he didn't throw himself bodily in front of that blast.

But who could have foreseen this? This mission should have been a confirmed success already, everyone heading safely back home once Tsukishima recovered enough to be able to travel. Perhaps some of Koito's optimism has rubbed off him after all.

Look where that got them. The lifeless limp body, vacant stare, a face contracted in a seemingly angry grimace.

Tsukishima's finally looking at him, properly, truly sees him, and - much to his own trepidation - he feels nothing.

He's worn out and numb and unable to muster anything beyond that.

Just mere hours ago this homesick kid (he should have been considered a kid no longer and yet) was cheerfully reminiscing about his parent, looking forward to receiving the fatherly approval for a job well done.

(something Tsukishima himself did not understand but didn't begrudge him that, however immature Koito’s motivations might have seemed sometimes. if anything, it was commendable in a way, that genuine desire for his father's attention, wanting to be recognized as his own person and not his brother's substitute, he supposed it was why he went along with his feigning of sea sickness)

But the next moment he was clumsily pushing food into Tsukishima's mouth - missing his mark - his eyes twinkling and cheeks blushing red from excitement; Tsukishima already forgotten, when young lad's mind was already too preoccupied with the prospect of reuniting with First Lieutenant and receiving his oh so highly sought out and earned praise.

Except it wasn't earned, now was it, not really - Tsukishima bitterly mused to himself. But it wasn’t his place to correct him and disabusing him from these notions would be counterproductive.

There would be still time for Koito to shed this youthful ignorance, surely...

Except by the time he was his age, Tsukishima has already participated in the war. He's already tainted his fists with his bastard of a father's blood. He's already been thrown in the prison, resigned to his fate, having learned the harsh realities of life the hard way.

Just another unremarkable and insignificant footsoldier, dealt a poor lot in life. Yet deemed worth saving by First Lieutenant Tsurumi based on his merit as a soldier and a person alone. Not his birthright, no bright future prospects, and no political nor tactical importance had any say in the matter.

Tsukishima feels like he himself has - at some point - bought into this notion everything would just line up for him neatly, allowing Koito to take all the credit, and if that wasn’t enough to let him realize his true potential, he’d be granted another chance, and then another, and another, the world ever so accommodating to people like him. People meant for great things.

Now he’s staring, almost transfixed, at all that squandered potential lying in a puddle of his own blood.

In spite of Tsukishima’s best efforts to prevent just that.

He thinks back on this whole Karafuto expedition, on Second Lieutenant’s over-reliance on him with just as troublesome refusal to follow his guidance during critical times, bringing discord in the group, putting his personal gratification over mission’s objective, lack of forethought, utter inability to inspire deference in anyone.

He thinks back to the moment right after the explosion took place, Koito’s retreating back, Tsukishima laying there gravely wounded, his screams falling on deaf ears.

Tsukishima!! Are you still alive?

Tsukishima exhales, feeling something akin to relief. For the first time, he fully understands Rear Admiral Koito's callous insistence on having his son grow into his own or die trying. He hates this realization.

He doesn’t ponder on what kind of commander would Koito Otonoshin make. He doesn’t have to.

One life might have been lost today, but in exchange, many more deaths in the future due to leadership's ineptitude might have been averted.

He chooses to derive comfort from that.

[thelawyerthatwaspromised]

House Stark and the Northern Fool Fallacy

“Maybe you are just a Northern Fool.”

~Tyrion Lannister, right before Jon Snow upstages all of his influence over Daenerys Targaryen

If you believe the Starks are less intelligent than any other group of characters, you’re wrong and you’re buying into  the show’s propaganda.

The popular conception of House Stark (and the North at large) is that of a simple, hard people that are stubborn, honorable, and stupid.

Are the Starks actually less intelligent? Do they have trouble connecting dots? Can they not trace chains of events? Do they struggle with building winning strategies?

“No” to all of this. The Starks simply play the game differently than the others...but the constant underestimation of their wits has not only been shown to be untrue by the actions and reasoning methods of the Starks, it’s been shown by the contents of the series itself to be an inaccurate caricature.

The most unfortunate part (or fortunate if you’re looking to be surprised and enjoy when characters exceed your expectations as a viewer) of this misreading of House Stark is that it’s lead a lot of the general audience to believe that Jon Snow is stupid and hasn’t thought through the political ramifications of his interactions with Daenerys Targaryen.

This is one of the ironies of the show. The general audience - which largely sees the Starks as stupid or foolish - are themselves being guided wrongly into a false position even though we’re shown more than enough to KNOW that the Starks aren’t stupid. They simply value life and justice differently than the other houses.

There are specific examples of characters underestimating the Starks supplemented by specific examples of historical events portraying the Starks as unthinking barbarians which are so blatantly false that viewers should also understand that the Starks are not stupid - and yet that myth persists. 

We can essentially knock down these lies character by character:

Ned Stark the Fool / The Play in Essos

One of the most gut-wrenching and significant moments of the entire series has been warped into largely a comedy act in Essos.

The saddest part might be that Ned Stark is now quite often considered a stupid character. He may have made mistakes but what he “stupid”? Let’s look at the fiction followed by the fact.

The Portrayal

Portrayed as an unwashed Northerner who doesn’t understand the line of succession. Viewers get that he wasn’t power hungry and didn’t speak like an idiot. Yet somehow the view of Ned being stupid persists. 

The Truth

Ned figured out the Gendry / Robert connection. He also figured out that Cersei’s children were not Robert’s. Ned’s reality in trying to uphold the proper line of succession and rightfully deny Joffrey the throne is the exact opposite portrayed in the play in Essos (which is the popular narrative in Westeros, one can then gather).

What was Ned’s great mistake?

His refusal to drag children from their beds in the night. His refusal to be like Tywin Lannister. Was this stupid? Did he not understand this was playing with fire? No. He told Varys that his madness in telling Cersei was that of mercy. He was betrayed by Littlefinger (who preferred Joffrey to stay on the Throne to Stannis). A series of events led to Ned’s beheading. None originated from Ned’s stupidity.

In fact, the Starks are exceptionally skilled at snuffing out bullshit. Take Benjen, for instance. Tyrion is offering empty platitudes. Benjen knows what he really thinks, even if Tyrion initially won’t say it.

Benjen knows what NED taught him, that everything before the word “but” is horseshit. Benjen can see right through Tyrion. It’s a small example but one that reinforces the idea that the Starks as a bunch are extremely perceptive people who, while choosing not to play the games the other houses play all the time, understand when someone is feeding them bullshit.

Ned’s Execution

The way in which Ned was executed, including what his daughters perceived at the time, became important (rather stupidly so) in Season 7 with Arya temporarily believing that Sansa had taken part in Ned’s betrayal.

Ned, perhaps the most dignified person in the show’s history, did not blubber or plead. He even lied to the world in backing Joffrey’s claim with the hope that it would save Sansa’s life.

Portrayal

This is the Sansa that Arya seems to remember. And it’s a mistaken memory. Arya seeing events this way (the play sort of echoes how she described Sansa in Season 7) completely colors how she treats Sansa and leads her to question Sansa’s loyalties to Jon. 

Looks pretty stuipd in retrospect, right? Yet one of the biggest popular theories before Season 7 was Starkbowl. The idea that Sansa had been around Littlefinger and Cersei too much. That she was too dark now. Too jaded by her life events.

Truth

You, the viewer, saw Sansa’s anguish. You saw how much it crushed her in the coming episodes. You saw her look at the doll Ned had made for her with regret and sadness at Blackwater. You saw her fight to take back Winterfell, mentioning her father nearly every step of the way.

It’s a bad look for Arya to have acted like this towards Sansa. The interesting part was, she echoed so many of the foolish things that viewers seem to have believed (or maybe even hoped for) all the way through Season 7 / Episode 7.

Sansa Stark

Little bird. Stupid little girl with stupid dreams that never learns.

Littlefinger, through Season 6 when Sansa reunited with Jon, had been the closest thing to a lasting friend that Sansa had after leaving Winterfell. She was used as a pawn, manipulated, sold, basically treated the same way Daenerys had been without receiving the same measure of sympathy. 

She’s constantly ridiculed and left without agency up until her escape with the Boltons. Her greatest crime was naively believing the the world wasn’t terrible and that people meant it what they told her. Then her father died. She lived as a prisoner at the hands of Cersei and Joffrey. Her ONLY respite was a temporary friendship with Margaery.

Her other “friend”, Baelish, still treated her like a stupid little girl. His plans to win the North and the Iron Throne centered on using her as a pawn. He never truly respected her.

One of his lessons was that she’s a poor liar. She proved this wrong when she lied for him regarding his murder of her Aunt Lysa. 

He began treating her more as a mature adult after that but he never stopped manipulating and underestimating her.

He believed he had her in his clutches. He didn’t at first understand that he couldn’t wedge the bond formed between Sansa and Jon. When Jon choked him and LF observed Sansa longing for Jon as he departed Winterfell, he abruptly switched to trying to wedge Sansa and Arya.

LF thought Sansa could be turned. Littlefinger thought surely she couldn’t break free of his machinations. MAYBE betrayal and treachery are actually NOT tactics that are as effective as a casual political philosopher might believe?

Then this happened:

Sansa knew all along during Season 7 what he wanted. She couldn’t just have his head hacked off while he carried influence. His scheme to drive apart Sansa and Arya allowed her the timing to have him executed. She may have questioned Arya at points. Arya sure acted aggressively towards Sansa after their reunion. But she never took her eyes off the bigger picture: that LF was as threat to their home and family and at some point he had to go.

Robb Stark

Perhaps my least favorite characterization of a Stark is Robb.

Portrayal

Another unwashed Northerner. He’s shown running around proclaiming himself as the Rightful King (itself a lie). It doesn’t show Robb possessing anything that can be described as honor or cunning.

This is to be expected. It’s war propaganda. The Lannisters would never publicize the fact that they COULDN’T OUTMATCH ROBB ON THE BATTLEFIELD.

This portrayal of events is the EXACT opposite of how things happened.

Truth

The fact of the matter is that Robb captured Jaime Lannister at Whispering Wood not because he had a direwolf or slew 1,000 Lannisters single-handedly. He won because he outwitted them. He laid a trap and both Tywin and Jaime fell for it. 

Tywin was forced to acknowledge Robb’s intellect and the devotion he inspired from his men after he continually got his ass kicked by the Young Wolf.

Tywin, the same guy who had routinely talked down the threat of the Young Wolf in the build-up to the war, found himself begrudgingly accepting the fact that he would have to rely on political maneuvering and deceit in order to end this war because, when it came to traditional means, he was no match for Robb.

That’s pretty damn significant. And yet the portrayal of events is a complete fiction...

What did Robb in?

Even more than the Freys and Boltons, Robb was defeated because he chose justice for slain Lannisters rather than forgive the actions of Rickard Karstark.

This event, and the beheading of the head of House Karstark, more than even breaking the betrothal to one of Walder Frey’s daughters, put Robb in a position where he was forced to choose between justice and military benefit.

The easy call would be to keep Karstark alive. To somehow keep his forces in the fold. Instead, Robb did what he thought was right and he died for that. I don’t blame Sansa for saying that Ned and Robb made stupid mistakes and lose their heads for it because in the end, Robb and Ned DID make stupid mistakes.

The difference seems to lie in how much House Stark was forced to suffer for their mistakes compared to other houses.

Jaime and Cersei tried (and failed) to kill Bran which is the event that really sparked the War of the Five Kings.

Robert became fat, lazy, and continued his philandering and behaved like a teenager all the way up until his death. His neglect of Cersei (driving her back into the arms of Jaime) essentially caused a powder keg politically which exploded into the War of the Five Kings.

Tywin stupidly bedded the person Tyrion loved (or at least believed he loved) and unnecessarily included her testimony when a conviction was a foregone conclusion which motivated Tyrion to murder him with a crossbow. His house suffered immeasurably and the best chance for its survival now lies with Tyrion, the child he hated.

Olenna underestimated Cersei entirely. She completely misread what Cersei was capable of and her house was destroyed for it.

Ramsay Bolton stupidly castrated Theon and continually tortured him physically and psychologically which eventually led to Theon helping Sansa to safety and his ultimate destruction at the hands of Jon and Sansa at the BoTB.

Roose Bolton first stupidly thought that his hold on the North could survive the ultimate betrayal of House Stark when he murdered Robb at the Red Wedding. He stupidly believed Ramsay could be trusted with political power and with responsibility and believed that Sansa Stark’s presence would help his cause rather than ultimately lead to the destruction of his house.

Littlefinger stupidly believed that Sansa was incapable of turning against him. He believed she was nothing more than a pawn to be used in his games. He believed that she would love him and give him the affection that Catelyn never did. We all know what happened to him.

The point is that not all the characters are stupid. The point is that the Starks are not. They make mistakes and are punished severely. They suffer consequences for their actions - but they are completely operating at the same intellectual level that any of the other supposed “experts” are operating.

So why do I care and why do I think it matters?

I care because I love the Starks, first off. Their house represents the one with the healthiest worldview, in my opinion. Only the Tyrells are really shown to have had much a healthy intra-family dynamic compared to the other houses. Yet the Tyrells were all to willing to form alliances, play games of deception, betrayal, and murder, and ultimately the Tyrells fell.

Where am I going with this?

Jon Snow, as a player of the game and a member of House Stark (if not in name yet) is most assuredly not a Northern Fool.

Jon Snow is the character that I believe holds the most significance for the survival of Westeros and the improvement of the Realm after the Great War’s conclusion.

Season 7 may have featured more mentions of “Northern Fool” than any other season and viewers bought this lie hook, line, and sinker. D&D love their setups and if you believe Jon isn’t always thinking how to do what’s, isn’t always thinking about how his actions might affect his family and the people he loves, and is simply acting on his gut all the time, I have news for you: You don’t know Jon Snow.

Portrayal

“Maybe you are just a Northern fool.”

~Tyrion, S7 / E3

What better moment encapsulates how others view the North as a whole than this one?

If my suspicions are proven correct, that Jon Snow’s arc in Season 7 is centered entirely on his MISSION to bring Daenerys North at any cost, then he will have played the game absolutely masterfully while maintaining the image of the Northern Fool.

His enemies’ (and potential allies) misreading of his capacity for real politik puts him at a ridiculous advantage. Yet we’ve seen Jon play the political game. We’ve seen him observe and learn lessons.

He very quickly thought of how to earn Mance’s trust and gave the Night’s Watch invaluable intelligence regarding their plans. He couldn’t have done this as a dimwit incapable of quick-thinking and deceit.

People try to twist Jon’s murder as the result of his foolish bravery...yet my take (obviously) is very different on the matter. He knew it would be an unpopular position. He knew it put him at risk. He sought Aemon’s advice specifically because of this. Aemon gives the famous “kill the boy” speech which was Aemon’s way of saying “stop trying to please everybody and do the right thing”. In essence, isn’t that what the Starks just do?

It’s why they inspire their subjects, rather than continually finding themselves putting down their subjects. Say what you will about Robb’s assassination as contrary evidence to this, but Robb was killed because he brought justice to the Karstarks. Roose Bolton was a schemer that was simple trying to accumulate power, and House Umber felt betrayed by Jon’s granting the Wildlings lands in the The Gift. Which one of those events were caused by House Stark trying to do something other than the right thing in an intelligent, if not difficult way?

Which brings me back to Jon Snow.

Am I to believe that he hasn’t thought about how his alliance with Daenerys Targaryen will be perceived by the Northern Lords? 

Am I to believe he didn’t consider the repercussions of announcing at the Dragonpit at the behest of Cersei Lannister’s demand?

Am I to believe he initiated a physical relationship with her, which by Tyrion’s look alone are foreshadowed as terribly complicated from a political standpoint, because he was just head over heels in love and it had no strategic purpose?

Am I to believe that Jon Snow isn’t hiding something when his mission to Dragonstone in the first place was to specifically get Daenerys to come North to fight the Night King?

Am I to believe that he isn’t skeptical of Cersei Lannister while knowing what she’s done to House Stark and also not even originally considering her as part of his mission when he departed for Dragonstone?

All of those questions I posed to myself are answered with a resounding “NO” on my part. Each one could basically be a meta individually but the bigger point is that if I answered “YES” to all of those, it would require that Jon Snow not have a thinking, planning, strategic bone in his body. That he’s like Forrest Gump drifting in the wind like a feather and simply lucky to be taking part in so many historic events.

My viewpoint is that Jon operates similarly to the other people in his life. He acts deliberately and with an eye towards a larger purpose. He may not always make the most advantageous choice but he’s not the type of person to throw his kingdom to a foreign queen because he wants to sleep with her. 

When people call Political Jon a character assassination on Jon Snow, I have to answer that the idea that he would give the North to Daenerys without any other consideration or counsel from his own people or family the TRUE character assassination. It’s a viewpoint that paints Jon as stupid and it’s a characterization of multiple House Stark members that just falls flatly on its face when held up to scrutiny. 

Think less of Jon if it turns out that he used Daenerys’ affections for him to get her to come North if you will but I will not fault the guy when he thinks it’s the difference between the extinction of men and it’s possible salvation.

Just don’t tell me Jon Snow is stupid and don’t tell me that House Stark consists of anything less than intelligent, capable leaders.

You might have believed that Jon and the Starks are dumb. You’ll be surprised at the end of the series. You believed the false narrative the show put out there. You fell for it. You will wonder how the Starks survive since the show said they were stupid. I will say....