#it cant possibly go wrong ever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wormchaser · 2 months ago

Note

you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.

i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.

#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a #conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit #when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never #messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou #none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but #i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come #easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to #someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as #something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not #know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the #first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk #significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i #was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything #i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems #specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most #of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came #to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here

12 notes · View notes

theladyfae · 2 months ago

Text

i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶

#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that #but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair #and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like #did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in #the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because #of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails #and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on #and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her #he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely #have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then #does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them #surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki #he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them #its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him #oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened #like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been #i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the #accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past #if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there #not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away #and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it

10 notes · View notes

parasitic-saint · 1 year ago

Text

something you need to know abt me is that im extremely scared of artificial voices (think siri, alexa, any voice on gps thingies while driving) and no one believed me when the alexa changed voices one night, even tho i froze in place and all the hairs in my body stand up...

anyway, i'm also terrified of blonde and not really human faces... like that mix specifically (think "i feel fantastic" lady android, max headroom and the first mask of "possibly in michigan")

just felt like sharing <3

#the parasite talks #idk where these fears come from honestly #i've tried watching the max headroom series but i cant #i cant go past the intro without feeling physically ill #i've been able to watch possibly in michigan and is my favorite video and song ever #but the other two i cant at all #i also scream an cry when there's a picture of a being looking directly “at you” but im guessing that's normal if the intent was to scare #i also imagine beings looking at me through the windows and dark screens and generally the dark but i know thats my crazy mind #that's why i have my windows taped vampire style like the wwdits house #and when i was little i would stare at my toys for a long while in case they would move or blink #i still think they do that but i have made peace with it #specially because i had 2 toys that actually moved and talked without me touching them i guess that made something in my brain go wrong #but they were mostly batteries corroding #although one was alive for almost 20 years with the same batteries #sometimes i worry what will happen when i live alone...

20 notes · View notes

mousegirl-cheerleader · 7 days ago

Text

It's gettin pretty tough to keep squeakin I'll tell you that much

#this mouse has had her depression intensified again #time to read her journal and remember all the good things she cares about #time to work on moving on from the bad #I need to decide how much time being lonely and hurt I'm going to allow myself #compartmentalisation right #I can take all of this and deal with it later when there's more distance from it #I should also write myself a letter #it's always good to write myself a letter #I think I wanna cry in the shower first though #I was told not to bomb a bridge by someone with a lit stick of dynamite in her hand #standing next to an already bombed bridge #I played my part in stuff but not everything's my fault #and I think I'm gonna go cry about how it feels like that's being ignore for the sake of hating me and proving me wrong #then I'll pack all of this into a box and put it on a shelf in my mind and come back to it when somebody is ready to approach it with me #because I can't keep having this cycle alone #I can't keep listening to all the things I've been made to feel #I can't keep having imaginary conversations and wishing for magical fixes and apologies that might not ever come #god what a shit show #it's wild how fast everything can spiral out of control #and how much you can lose when it happens #I'll find another home some day #I have to believe that and keep moving forward #I'll find family that can be more patient with me and more accepting of their own flaws #I'll find a family that won't hurt me when they see me in a bad spot #i have to #please #i have to believe it's possible #and i really really really want to believe that can be my current family after weve had some time #but i feel so so scared that it cant #so lets shower and then box it up and then we can see what happens in a month I guess

4 notes · View notes

princessmyriad · 29 days ago

Text

.

#personal #it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog #or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on #that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares #to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems #but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago #and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that #thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna #which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be #the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat #im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better #ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything #my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill #i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone #when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite #i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about #is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for #hours. a whole days worth of hours almost #my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room #in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now #all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help #the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again #lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time #like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of #would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles #24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave #or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people #but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able #to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave #anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time

4 notes · View notes

comradecowplant · 4 months ago

Text

my beef with Hughie being the most annoying part of The Boys ended, Kimiko & Frenchie reigniting their romance is my new The Boys best enemy 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

#i really liked their platonic supportive 'were both broken wahwah' relationship. literally donut care at all about their romance 🙄🙄🙄#fr i actually almost liked hughie this season. way less annoying overcompensating failson energy & more actually resolving his issues #kinda hoped cate was going to tell frenchie to walk off the dock at the warf at the end but we cant have everything :(#because fuck that plot line & fuck that IOF scum actor!!!!#the boys #it was a really good season imo. really set things up for what i hope will be a fascinating final season #(also cant wait for season 4.5 when season 2 of gen v comes out. hope that spin-off gets at least as many seasons. rip chance perdomo 😞)#a-train FINALLY getting his nerve! the deep finally going full sicko instead of being the rapist comic relief. ashley continuing to unravel #so excited to learn what the v did to her. if anyone deserves a mostly-useless-except-for-weird-sex-stuff power its her!!!!!#sage better have another 8 layers of gEniUs subterfuge up her sleeve otherwise i am rooting for a maeve cameo next season to kick her ass #sage was definitely an interesting highlight this season. 'smartest woman on earth' but ultimately just a lonely sociopathic loser #there were a few moments where- despite her 'intellectual' truth that human lives are meaningless- that she seemed bothered by the wanton #violence. & i really dont believe that she'd get over homelander so casually throwing her away. probs wont pay off but im a 'sage is #scheming against the 7 after all' truther. if a-train could get his head out of his ass anything is possible for anyone!!!#rip victoria neuman 😩 literally did nothing wrong ever in her life and butcher killed her for it smh my head #(she really was a fantastic villian though. actual 'if AOC had super powers' except more charming & less evil. claudia doumit was amazing)#dani talks about tv

2 notes · View notes

ningningkittie · 10 months ago

Text

when i love someone i WANT to learn abt their past traumas, their insecurities nd pain so that i can learn how to love them right. i want to understand how i should treat, reassure and comfort them. i want to learn their love languages so i can love them the way they need

#but why.... does no one ever want to do that for me?#i always have to bend and reshape so im as little bothersome as possible #and ppl always say stuff like omg u need to communicate nd u need to tell them blah blah blah #ok but what abt when u actually do all of that but no one listens to u????#i actually do communicate my needs. very clearly #yet... im never heard or listened to #am i just not worth that??? idk.. i dont get it #i just ache to be loved the way i love. bc i know that i love wholly and profoundly #but im gonna run out if i cant receive the love that i need #:((((#also it just hurts to be so understanding and supportive and want ppl to be comfortable #but then i dont get to take up any space or i dont get to have needs #i should only listen but never ask for anything in return #it just sucks #have i done smth wrong??? or am i just an awful person? delusional?#bc i have NEVER been in a space where im safe to express my feelings #not w my family. not friends. not even my therapists lmao (theyve also criticized nd judged me)#so im starting to think that maybe i actually am wrong #maybe if everywhrre i go im met by this. maybe i just need to suck it up #and be grateful for whatever scraps of love im thrown #bc clearly i am doing smth wrong!!!!!!

5 notes · View notes

a-dash-in-the-middle · 4 months ago

Text

watching the eighty-six. stomach turning, sweat, walked, fought the air, air screamed, i cant.

#i feel the need to rewatch it whole already even tho im only at the beginnings of s2 #but i know i probably wont watch it again until a long time passes bc just....... shit.....#science fiction makes me sick sometimes #i love those damn books and anime but i cant help but wonder #can the world make that #what if we do #can i ask the professors at my uni that? the people at seminars who make military constructs?#i wanna know the scope of people's current possibilities so i can well at least know #i need to know how much we are willing to go with inventions in spite of immorality so i can not make any mistakes if i ever do #and i know its silly bc i would just be asking media inspired questions #but i'd be so scared of making those smart minds turn in a wrong direction #to give voice to a scary idea #bc what if they haven't thought of that #the people who are into robotics and informatics #mecha is one scary thing in the hands of people #but i cant take my eyes off of it #anyways 86.... when they held their hand to their earpieces... the one's who were made with the lives of families of their comrades #the one's that limited them yet made them all available to each other #kfmncvnge4nmh i dont have anything smart to say #im sorry to anyone who had to read my pretentious toughts #0 notes to me

2 notes · View notes

hexados-on-a-string · 1 year ago

Text

spectragus dont get enough credit for being a sun and moon ship but like. destructive sun and moon ship. sun and moon ship but they're the forces of nature the sun and moon actually are. the sun is harsh and relentless and unpredictable in its evil but also it's kindness, the moon is sharp and cold and cruel, a harsh light that doesn't allow you peace, but can also guide you, a light in the darkness. even on nights with a new moon, with no light in the sky, the moon is always reflecting the sun, and it'll be that way until they come to their end.

#spectragus give me a dopamine high that any sort of drug couldn't even come close to giving me #its the loyalty. its the seeing each other at their worst and still staying.#its the being the only person still around who knows and understands what youve been through #its the being so important to each other's characters that u cant mention one without recognising the impact the other has on them #i dont rlly do shipping unless its funny but also im a huge gus fan so like. yea. plus my view on romance is a bit all over the place anyway #something something my skrunkles deserve complicated relationships that are more than romantic but something else #its the trust thats the most important thing to me. trust and loyalty and devotion and #im sorry but i would have exploded if i like. didn't write down these thoughts #anyways fucked up gay people who are a package deal and that is a threat thats them #ik the majority of my posts are hee hee funnie and i usually dont take things too seriously #but these two have taken up part of my brain permanently since i was 8. like. they just live there. rent free.#i am like rabid rn. i am feral and i am insane and i am crazy and there are so many things wrong with me #i cant even write down all my fuckin thoughts there's so many my brain is going to Explode pray for me #idk if u understand how important it is to me the times they show kindness even while at their worst #they're not good people but they have people they care about and they care abt each other and that matters SO much #i take 0 criticism on my posts i only take cash. however there is no possible criticism to be made bc i am RIGHT #also this all kinda sparked from me getting obsessed with a certain kh character who has a connection to the moon #who is also one of my favourite characters ever #and if u know who it is and u also like him ur very cool #im not tagging this w character tags. im like. very shy. but #i love gus i love spectra i love spectragus #anyways see u next time where i should hopefully have art maybe potentially #i found the brushes i used to use back when i did lineless art so i am rlly happy

11 notes · View notes

sludgeguzzler · 2 years ago

Text

look i really dont mind having a pre t body with its little biological quirks but i have a limit and the limit is waking up at 4am with immense pain and a puddle of blood on my bed

#im probably most likely overhyping what t will do to my body but i cant wait till my periods stop #if they dont stop i will fr go after some way of stopping them im not kidding there is literally nothing good that i get from having them #its just. its just pain and blood and a constant reminder of how Woman i have to be. it makes me sad #like. all the good cramp medicine is like WOMAN PILL FOR YOUR SCHEDULED GIRL MOMENT OF THE MONTH [picture of a woman]#[venus symbol] [flowers]#and all pads come with th same thing too. like i get that its technically not harming anyone but please man cmon #my mood gets all janged up i cant think straight in the worst ways possible im always having breakdowns during them #and i have to deal with genuinely unbearable pain! and! a heavy flow! because my moms ovaries! are the most fucked ovaries ever!#hhg the only good thing i can think of is that if there was a death metal band of trans guys the lyrics theyd write would be sick #[hi this is me telling you im about to get a little gross so if stuff like this grosses you out uh. yeah]#like the gruesome symbolism of periods is pretty damn cool if im honest. i dunno #i genuinely really like the movements on normalizing periods and how they are not something to be ashamed of and happen with a lot of ppl #but. but.#it puts a lot of emphasis on how its a Woman thing when a lot of women (cis or otherwise) dont have them #and it excludes all the other non woman people who have them #re personal opinion but i think our image of periods really shouldnt be flowery beautiful woman moment that passes by in a blink.#i think we should talk about how it hurts and how it will suck a little too hard for some people and that #periods not always mean a symbol of feminity and fertility and other stuff (its 5am im tires) to everyone #like to me periods are misery and oain and dysphoria but i have a cis friend who sees her periods as symbols of her womanhood abd #*and like. shes not wrong but im also not wrong either #idk my head hurts and i wanna go bacm to sleep so bye #sg.txt

27 notes · View notes

mugmegan · 2 years ago

Text

You know how Denji defeated eternity by hurting it until it wanted to end it all? What are the chances of Asa defeating it by infodumping the poor devil until it gives up?

Denji probably wont want to go through the struggle again. He doesnt have a higher motivation other than penguins.

Plus it would be funny.

And Asa would get to show off her ocean knowledge!

But more than anything, I want Asa to match the level of unhinged Denji usually demonstrates in situations like this. I cant imagine any romantic scenerio with these two that resembles anything close to classic, wholesome romance.

If we are gonna see either of these characters fall for eachother it has to be over a showcase of absolute insanity. THAT is a better connection between the two of them than any normal bonding activity I can imagine. Because the biggest thing they have in common with each other is that they are both aimless losers who dont know what normal is. So they always find less than logical ways to solve their problems. But they work, dont they?

And I dont think Denji will trust sweet, seemingly understanding words again. They are just too good to be true and usually dishonest. Seeing someone as downbad as him acting downbad would be a better comfort than any false therapist in my opinion.

#rant #I am rambling #as sweet as all the ship art I have seen are I just dont think that is how this relationship is gonna go #there are themes of insecurity and distrust in the way #csm #chainsaw man #chainsawman #csm part 2 #chainsaw man part 2 #chainsawman part 2 #cant wait for the next chapter to completely prove me wrong and everyone else and every possible theory ever created ever

24 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

Note

YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!

"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)

Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.

Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives

There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).

The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)