#specially because i had 2 toys that actually moved and talked without me touching them i guess that made something in my brain go wrong

[parasitic-saint]

something you need to know abt me is that im extremely scared of artificial voices (think siri, alexa, any voice on gps thingies while driving) and no one believed me when the alexa changed voices one night, even tho i froze in place and all the hairs in my body stand up...

anyway, i'm also terrified of blonde and not really human faces... like that mix specifically (think "i feel fantastic" lady android, max headroom and the first mask of "possibly in michigan")

just felt like sharing <3

[pretoriafics]

If I wasn't a goddamn werewolf

I simply needed to do something with Talia. I think the pack dynamics would be so wonderful with her, with Laura, and with Cora. Should I do a part 2? Let me know <3

Talia just came back from the dead, and she is just trying to figure out what is happening with her son. But when she met you, everything becomes clear. Word count: 1.757 Pairings: Reader x Derek Contain: Pure angst!!; Derek being a dick; Warnings: English is not my main language <3 PART 2 TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

Things were a true mess these days. The starting point was a resurrection. Nobody knew exactly how Talia arose from the dead, but everyone was trying to find out. Well, after so many years out of the Beacon Hills life, Talia was trying to fix in and absorb what had happened during the time she was dead. Peter had tried and failed to kill his daughter Laura, Cora comes back to the city, and the Hale's had rebuilt their pack with three new members: Boyd, Isaac, and Erica. Derek was happy with the presence of Talia - actually, everyone was - but as a mom, she knew something was pretty wrong. He was being a little bit... sad.

Talia caught Derek thoughtful during the night several times. Sometimes he just simply took his car and disappear. He was also taking time for himself, staying alone with his own thoughts. Talia just simply couldn't figure out what the hell was going on with her son. But when she has begun to think that maybe all of that was just something created inside of a mother's mind, she finds out about everything.

Talia, Derek, and Laura were doing some groceries at a supermarket. Talia and Laura were chatting about the city while taking a few things when suddenly, both of them heard a female voice greeting Derek in the corridor next to them.

"Hey, Derek."

It was you. Laura recognized your voice immediately. Talia's older daughter took her mom's wrist and took her to spy Derek, making a sign with her finger on her lips to her mom stay quiet. When Talia and Laura look at you and Derek, they notice all the signs of a couple in love. Your hearts were beating fast, and your eyes were shining like a thousand stars. You were pretty anxious, like a teenager talking for the first time with your crush. And your voice was so sweet... The air seems to completely disappear from Derek's lungs.

But despite all of the signs of love, Derek didn't reply to you. Actually, seems like the soft expression of love simply disappeared from his face - which was pretty severe and cold now. His facial expressions seem to let you even more anxious. You begun to regret to had the stupid idea to talk with him.

"Uh..." You started to talk, with his lack of answer "I..."

Without saying a word to you, Derek takes a can from the shelves and, simply, walks away from you. It was like you even weren't there. And, God, it broke your heart. Alone in the corridor and without becoming aware that you were being looked closely for Laura and Talia, you let escape a tear that ran through your face. Trying to compose yourself, you breathe in and swipe the tear away. You need to be strong.

When you just simply walk away from that corridor, Talia looks at Laura, pretty confused.

"Is that his ex?"

"No, she is just a girl he met. They started to become friends, but things evolved. Derek had decided to fell apart from her when Kate threatened to do something with her. You know, she was trying to manipulate him. But Derek thought that she would be safer without him. She doesn't know anything about supernatural, so..."

"It's dangerous for her."

"Exactly."

"How long ago did this happen?"

Laura drums her fingers on her chin, thoughtfully.

"I think it's been a year..."

"Oh, wow."

"Yeah, I know. You would love to meet her." Laura and Talia walk close to the candies session, looking at you. "Her name is (Y/N). She's a great girl."

"She seems like one."

Laura, Derek, and Talia were putting the groceries into the car - the place where Cora was waiting for her family. Talia was pretty thoughtful, thinking about the issue between you and Derek. Despite thinking that Derek did the right thing, she felt sad about the whole situation. It was pretty clear to her that Derek likes you a lot, and so do you.

Talia was torn from your thoughts when she listened to Cora's voice.

"Oh, I didn't saw her coming into the market."

Derek arches his eyebrows at his sister, walking in the driver's seat direction.

"Who?"

Cora indicates you with a nod in her head, and Derek's sight runs in your direction. Now Derek was looking at you for a distance he could saw you properly. Damn, you were so beautiful... He was pretty sure you did something with your hair, who made you more beautiful than ever. His heart began to race, and his face softened. You were like a sedative for him, with the power to take all of his angry away.

Unless you were next to another guy. In this case, you would stoke his fury just like the gasoline feeds fire. That was the case now.

You were walking in a man's direction, close to an expensive car. Despite being upset and heartbroken, you forced a smile on him, and he gave you a soft and slow kiss. Derek's chest vibrated in a low and threatening roar.

Laura looks at Cora.

"Who's that guy?"

"Well, he's her boyfriend. They're together a few months."

"He's hot. And seems like he's rich too."

Yeah, he was perfect. Derek didn't hate him just because he's the one who touches you now. Derek hates him because that guy was perfect, and better than him in so many aspects. He was rich, handsome, and a perfect gentleman. And he has you.

Oh, God... Derek wants so much for being under his skin for one day... Derek could simply forget all the supernatural bullshit and stay with you without worries. Damn, he wants so much to touch you again and kiss you again. He wants so much to say to you how beautiful you were with whatever you did with your hair, how you smell good, and how sorry he is for hurting you because he would never do that if it weren't for your own good.

If Derek wasn't a goddamn werewolf, he could take that vacation on Hawaii with you that you wanted so much. If he wasn't a goddamn werewolf, he could wake up by your side in the morning - something he never was able to do because of all the supernatural crap in the city. Derek could wake you up with kisses and breakfast in the bed too. If he wasn't a goddamn werewolf, he would take you to live with him on his loft. You would never cry of sadness, just of happiness.

If he wasn't a goddamn werewolf, Derek would give you a ring and would ask if you want to be Mrs. Hale.

Instead of all of it, Derek was forced to broke your heart for your own protection. He was forced to tell you not to talk with him anymore because he never felt anything for you. You were nothing more than a one-night stand, his little toy.

Derek remembers that day like it was yesterday. You were crying like never before while you listened to his sharp words.

"What do I did with you that made you thought you were so special?"

"You are nothing to me."

"I just wanted some fun. You can't blame me."

"Stop acting like a stuping teenager in love!"

It was hurtful to say those words to you. None of them were true. Derek just wanted you to hate him as much as someone could hate. With it, you would stay away from him and all of the danger. In fact, you said that night those three words he wanted you to tell him.

"I hate you!" You yelled, with your face wet in tears. "You are the biggest mistake I could ever make in my entire life!"

Despite saying horrible things to you that had hurt Derek as hell, your words hurt as much as his own. But even with all the emotions conflicting inside himself, Derek even could hear your heartbeat failing. It was the sound of your lie.

Despite all of that, you didn't hate him. You didn't think he was the biggest mistake of your like.

That broke him even more.

Derek just wants to feel you in his arms again and say to you how much he loves you - because, yeah, he really loves you, and he really thinks you are the one. Instead of it, he gives up on your love to keep you alive and safe.

Suddenly, Derek listens to your boyfriend talk with you. He was still with his face close to yours.

"I'm so lucky to have you as my girl." Your boyfriend smiles at you "I love you."

Your heart ached one more time that day. Oh, if those words were from Derek's mouth... But no, you think he hates you. Determined to move on and forget about Hale, you force a smile on your boyfriend.

"I love you too."

Your heartbeat sound failed, and the Hale family on another side of the parking lot could hear your lie. You didn't love your boyfriend but, oh, you really wish you could. He was perfect.

However, you always thought about how boring perfection was and, actually, you would love to be imperfect with Derek.

Your boyfriend gives you a sweet smile and gets into his expensive car. You walk towards the passenger's seat door and, before getting into the car, you look in Derek's direction.

He was looking at you with those beautiful and glacial green eyes. It was pretty hard to pretend he didn't love you because he does so much. While Talia was watching the entire situation, she noticed that yours and Derek's eyes were yelling a silent, dangerous, and forbidden I love you - the one who could let anyone with no air in their lungs.

Then, you breathe in, trying to contain yourself. You got into the car and, then, you and your boyfriend were leaving the parking lot and Derek's sight. If getting away from him and being in another man's arms meant you were safe, then Derek could handle it. However, after looking at the whole situation, Talia was not well with it. Well, Laura and Cora weren't either. They knew about his brother's sincere feelings, and Talia knew it that moment either. The gears inside her brain were already working to find a solution for all of that.

Derek, however, could only think of how much you would never really be his.

[paper-n-ashes]

New Endeavours

Characters: Modern AU!Kylo Ren x Female Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings/Tags: Explicit (18+), Sugar daddy relationship, sexual references but no actual smut, bisexual vibes, attending a strip club.

Author’s Note: This is all because of my love, @maryforyou. An AU venture she ignited and I couldn’t let go of. Read into this however you want, I’m an open book in terms of exploring sexuality without labels. Being the first AU I’ve ever attempted, I kept this as an intro, to hopefully dive into the more explicit content I’ve been ruminating on for too long as a Part 2 (depending on how this is received).

*

“Are you sure this what you want?”

You smiled sweetly, smoothing out the creases in your dress as Kylo handed you your coat and gloves. “Like I said every day this week, I’m very sure.”

He still appeared doubtful, plush lips twisted in a disbelieving frown. “I could give you anything your heart desires for your birthday, princess,” he urged, helping you to secure the top buttons of your waistcoat, his large frame shifting close to yours. “This barely seems like enough of a gift for such a special occasion.”

Kylo was used to showering you with physical symbols of his adoration in the 18 months you had known him. The man had more money than he knew what to do with, lavishing all types of jewellery and clothing on you, some of the pieces you were certain cost more than your tiny apartment in the outskirts of the city. Every time you tried to refuse the extravagant gifts, Kylo always replied with sweetened notions of needing to worship and adore the personified goddess he saw you as. And when spoken in his infuriatingly mesmerising tenor, they would quickly conquer your resistance.

You were acutely aware of what this looked like from an outside perspective. A wealthy older man courting a young woman over 10 years his junior. Bathing her head to toe in the finest attire, parading her around in places a woman of her standing wouldn’t have been able to afford in two lifetimes.

A label came with this kind of behaviour. One you didn’t particularly like, yet was still true.

Sugar daddy.

There wasn’t a way you could deny that’s how your association with Kylo begun.

You’d heard whispers of other girls at the college you went to doing it. Offering their bodies to the affluent men of this city. At first, you’d scoffed at the idea. But when that third overdue notice of your credit card debt came, with the threat of eviction hanging over your head, you didn’t really have much choice.

A name was given to you of a bar that specialised in these kinds of meetings, completely covertly of course. And there Kylo had found you, hiding away in a secluded corner, stirring the gin and tonic in front of you with a single finger. At first, you’d assumed he was a well-dressed bartender, seemingly too young and strikingly handsome to be in need of a place like this. So you smiled sweetly and told him you weren’t quite done with your drink.

Within such an innocent interaction, Kylo knew he had to have you. And he did, 45 minutes later in the poorly lit bathroom stall, half-dressed bodies clutched together as he had you perch on the porcelain sink, fucking you with an uncharacteristically reckless abandon.

He hadn’t intended to. He hadn’t been entirely sure what he anticipated from that evening, the recommendation being given to him from a higher executive who regularly partook in the questionable operations of this establishment. Kylo meant only to scope the place out, sit for a quiet solitary drink out of the way of other patrons. There, he’d discovered you.

Shrinking into your stool, somewhat inhibited, clearly out of your element. The shy smile that spread across your face after he murmured a stiff hello ensnared him in moments, simply for how sincere it was. He wasn’t used to that.

Another thing Kylo wasn’t used to was the type of electricity that followed in your conversation. Rarely had he experienced an exchange that was so charged yet… genuine. You didn’t appear expectant, didn’t care to know how much money he made or the status of his career. You simply wanted to talk.

It was interesting how this fuelled an urge to make you speechless, to have you resorting to whines and whimpers rather than articulate your thoughts with any words. He didn’t act on them. Content to bide his time, play his cards right, set a precedence of composure and restraint in the hope of securing another meeting. You, however, had never cultivated the same type of discipline Kylo had.

After too many long minutes of flirtatious banter, you leaned forward, mouthing in a hushed tone, asking him to meet you in the women’s bathroom.

The chance encounter had bound you for longer than predicted.

Although never explicitly stated, the two of you fulfilled a portion of each other’s needs. Kylo required adequate distraction from his corporate life, someone who could slip into his erratic schedule with ease to… relieve him of mounting tension. In return, he provided you the monetary means to live in the city of your dreams without constant fear of homelessness.

In the months that passed, your arrangement turned into something stable, secure. His presence a constant in your life. While his working hours were long and finishing times unpredictable, Kylo could always count on you to be summoned to him from a single text message. Be it in the middle of the day, or the early hours of morning, you would race to a place of his choosing. Sometimes at his lush apartment, sometimes his office, and a plethora of restaurant bathrooms across the city after particularly stressful business lunches.

Initially, your involvement was kept mostly out of public view. Kylo had wanted to protect you from the judgements and negative connotations that were unavoidable in the arena of his work. Around the year mark, these reservations about being seen with you seemed to dissipate. Soon you were linked hand in hand at countless high-class dinners and charity events. A poised and elegant couple, right until the last set of eyes moved away.

This is where you had your fun.

As spectacular as Kylo was at fucking you until you saw stars, he’d surprisingly gone this long in life without venturing into more creative territory when it came to satisfaction. His version of sex was fast and hard, needing as much as you as he could get, chasing release with no frills or diversion. He’d never had the time, or the right lover, to encourage any of his deeply hidden fantasies. Until you.

You were game for anything. Sexually adventurous. Ready and willing to try all there was on offer just to elicit the highest levels of ecstasy. It was difficult not to be at the thought of Kylo’s hands, his mouth, his tongue, any part of him.

Although a little more slowly, he began to welcome new experiences, new pursuits of pleasure. Witnessing your reactions to these efforts became somewhat of an addiction for him. The way you writhed and squealed when exploring anal play for the first time. The way you surrendered and adored his verbal degradation and physical strikes. The way your body twitched and spasmed after the use of a newly obtained toy purchased with his platinum credit card.

You never pushed him, or forced him into anything he found uncomfortable in the chase of a sexual high. Communication was paramount, and boundaries were respected.

Interestingly enough, tonight was a boundary he never thought you’d cross.

“This is what I asked for, remember?” you smiled, taking the opportunity to press a gentle kiss to his nose.

Kylo’s apprehension refused to dissipate, while still clutching you closer. “It just… seems like this is something I will enjoy more than you.”

You barely withheld the urge to roll your eyes. “You’re sure about that, are you?”

His eyebrows crinkled, thinking the question over. There was the hint of a smirk that tugged the corner of his mouth, a subtle excited quiver in the breath he exhaled. “So you’re not doing this for me?”

“Not at all,” you breathed. Your palm slipped under his clean-shaven jaw, skating a thumb reassuringly over his cheek. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

“You have?”

You hummed a yes, drifting your lips intoxicatingly close to his, staring up with wide eyes.

Kylo’s mouth twisted slightly. “I wouldn’t want you to feel jealous, princess.”

“You’re only looking,” you insisted softly. “And, even if you touch a little…” You bit your lip at the thought. “Those women won’t be who gets to be taken home and fucked until it hurts.”

There was a noticeable tensing in the arms circled around you, as Kylo’s eyes began to burn with an impatient greed. “I could do that now, right against this door.”

It was difficult to deny how you’d happily allow him to make true on that statement. To slam you into the exquisitely carved oak door of his apartment and fill you to your absolute limit. However, the tantalising image of your planned evening was too consuming, heaving and tugging for you to indulge a deeply embedded desire you’d never been brave enough to pursue.

“Save it for when we get home,” you chirped, reaching for the doorhandle and dragging Kylo into the hallway.

 *

“Follow me,” the maître D instructed, her voice cheerfully welcoming. Even the sight of her silken, green dress was intimidating, the fabric glossing over her nimble shape as she guided you up the set of stairs. The lighting was low, almost too dark to see properly, Kylo’s grip strong as your steps were drowned out by the sultry music emanating behind the double doors at the apex. As they were opened to you, the hypnotic baseline ricocheted around your body.

You scanned around the large room, bold lights illuminating a risen stage with two currently unused silver poles at either corner. Plush chairs circled around, occupied by a differing array of men. Slinking between the patrons were women decorated with luxurious, high-end lingerie, each one styled and set to provoke unyielding temptation.

This was a completely new undertaking for you. Attending a strip club. Usually a male endeavour, seeking out instant gratification in the form of scantily clad bodies and paid attention. You knew this was an unusual request for a birthday outing, yet in truth there was nothing from Kylo you wanted more.

The two reasons were somewhat opposing, although they would still feed the same goal. Satisfying a craving.

One being that you had always found women to be alluring and captivating to a height you’d never really accepted, almost been afraid of. Only with time and maturity had you learned your attraction to them was a natural occurrence you were now ready to explore.

The other reason was a little more scandalous, and what you hadn’t quite articulated to Kylo yet. To have the view of his eyes roaming another woman’s almost naked body as she exposed herself to him, drove you wild. In a situation you should feel jealousy, you were only devoured by an uncontainable lust.

Occasionally your mind had forayed into imaginations where he would take another like he’d taken you countless times, able to watch his hands clawing at supple breasts, the smooth motion of his hips, how his thick cock would split a tight, dripping cunt in two. All the while he would deride and goad you, layering you with taunts, desperate to inflame your envy and ownership.

Your plan for this particular evening didn’t extend that far. You only wished to enjoy the performance of mesmeric women in their most enchanting form, observe Kylo’s undeniable arousal at the same lithe, flexible bodies, and return home to remind him that only you could ignite the billowing flames of a violent release.

Oh, but that plan crumbled when you’d each settled into your seats, just in time for the next show of seduction. A pair of glittered, platform heels slinked near to the pole closest to you, your vision roaming upwards over the statuesque figure they connected to. Delicately laced, ivory fabric shielded her most intimate portions from full view, conforming flawlessly to the curves of her figure. Somehow demure yet indecently sensual.

Lips parted, your breath hitched as the exquisite woman twirled around, her eyes trained to you as she let a wicked smile appear. You were sure this was a regular occurrence, a flirtation she expressed to all the patrons in this room. Yet, as she began to move in time with the decadent beat of the music, her eyes stayed transfixed to you marvelling stare.

In an unprecedented display of courage, you beckoned Kylo closer to you, whispering to his ear. “Her. That’s what I really want for my birthday.”

*To be continued*

Let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in future works! 

@tlcwrites @roanniom @maryforyou @mariesackler @sacklerscumrag @barbers-glimmerin-darlin @finn-ray-nal-beads @mylifeisactuallyamess @hopeamarsu @foxilayde @goddesstonythetiger @caillea @direnightshade @blackberries45 

[extremelyblackandwhite]

a year in the life | mob boss! s.s.

pairing: mob boss!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

main work: handmaid

season: winter ❄️

    - Elizabeth! - Sebastian sighed as he followed his two year old daughter who was running around the couch with her white dress stained in blue watercolours. Out of all the days in week of the year his daughter could’ve gotten her clothes dirty, it just had to be when his father-in-law was in the town. The same father-in-law who was still not very friendly with him. Turns out marrying and knocking up his actual daughter was where he drew the lines of niceties. The last thing he needed was to hear another snide remark “Doesn’t my daughter have enough money for you to buy my grandchildren some clothing or has your side of the business gone wrong already?”. Of course, Mr. Forrest seemed to forget children weren’t particularly known for keeping things tidy, specially when 2 of them were still very young.

  - Seb? - Y/N walked into the living room, dressed in a white tweed dress and low heeled shoes, holding Ollie against her. - Elizabeth, stop running away from your father and go change.

  - But mummy ...

  - No. - Y/N interrupted her daughter, one hand on her waist and the other one still holding Ollie. - You have five minutes to be here with some clean clothes or you’re not going to the Winter Fair.

  - Grandpa wouldn’t let that happen. - she pouted.

  - Wanna bet? - Y/N cocked her head slightly to the side.

Lizzie dropped her act and walked past her mum to go back inside her room. Sebastian sighed out of relief, walking over to his wife to kiss her forehead. He didn’t understand why she was so afraid of taking hold of her father’s spot in the family at some point considering she was very good at taking leadership in the home. Heck, if there was someone who couldn’t control her children without even trying it would be her. Forget the many years he had had controlling way more complicated and dangerous people, when it came to his children, he had as much authority as a soft pudding.

She settled Ollie back on the ground who immediately rushed to the toys on the ground, happy he could play without his siblings around. Y/N wrapped her arms around her husband, playfully swinging around as if they were dancing. The winter season was always incredibly romantic for the two of them, mostly because her family tended to come into town and want to spend more time with the children which meant the two of them had more time together. The door bell rang and chaos irrupted as Elizabeth and Nate rushed over to the door. Y/N rolled her eyes, following her children to the door. 

Ollie stepped forward, hugging his father’s leg as he always did whenever someone who wasn’t Y/N or Sebastian rang the door bell. There was no missing the extended family with the four year old, which Sebastian greatly appreciated as no one in her family, either it being her mother’s side, her father or her half-brother cared much for him either. Her father walked into the apartment, greeting the children before he started to inspect everything as he always did. Turns out if his daughter is not living in a gold palace which 10000 servants, it is not good enough. 

    - Oliver, you’ve gotten bigger. - Mr. Forrest said in the tone he sparred only for Y/N and his grandchildren. Ollie tightened his hold on Sebastian’s leg, slightly pushing on his trousers so he could be held up. Sebastian lowered down to pick him up. - Sebastian, I assume you’ve gotten the business deal with the Carranos. My family has a reputation to uphold.

    - Dad, no mob talk in the house. - Y/N crossed her arms, coming over to Sebastian’s side. - No mob talk in front of the children either. 

    - I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s important business, you know that. - she moved her attention to Ollie who had his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. - It’s okay, bubba. It’s just grandpa. Don’t you wanna go with Nate and Lizzie to the winter fair?

    - No. - he turned his face away from his mum, hiding in Sebastian’s shoulder.

    - Aw bud, what about Santa? Don’t you wanna see Santa?

    - Is Santa gonna be there, daddy?

    - Of course he is. - Sebastian bolstered. - You have to tell Santa what you want for Christmas. 

    - And make sure Lizzie doesn’t ask for a lot? - the four year old commented before being put on the ground. Sebastian chuckled, wrapping his arm around his wife as the three children were met by Dan. 

   - They need to be here before 9, dad. Not 10 or 11. - Y/N pointed out. - Lizzie is in a running phase so hold her hand at all times and Ollie gets overwhelmed with big crowds. Nate can calm him down but it always shakes him a bit. 

   - It’ll be fine, sweetheart.

Sebastian kept a tight hold on Y/N as they said goodbye to the kids who all left with her father and Dan, leaving the two alone in a now very silent penthouse. They didn’t like not having the children around, mostly out of overprotectiveness. The two of them hadn’t had particularly healthy relationships with their parents or idillic childhoods and Y/N had just started to have a relationship with her father and mother’s side of the family, so the two liked to spend their free time trying to make their children’s childhood as good as they could. 

   - They are going to be fine, angel. - Sebastian kissed her temple.

   - But Ollie ...

   - Ollie is gonna be fine. He’s like his mumma. - he pulled her away from the door and into an embrace. - Besides, when was the last time we spent some time just the two of us?

   - How old is Lizzie? - she teased. - You know my dad, he always talks about ... mob stuff.

   - Angel, it’s fine. He’s not exactly gonna give them a Ted talk on the mob. 

   - I know but you know how the kids are. Ollie doesn’t like big crowds and Lizzie is always running.

   - Nate is there. He’ll watch over them. I might be starting to think you just don’t want to spend alone time with me. 

   - It’s not that. I love you. - she leaned forward. - It’s just ... it’s gonna be my birthday soon which means it’s gonna be my mum’s ... you know the anniversary of it. I keep thinking about the kids and if they’re safe and if something was to happen to them, I just, I couldn’t bare it.

   - You think I’m gonna let anything happen to you or to my children? - he cocked his head to the side. - They’d be dead if they even thought it. They’d be dead if they even made one of my kids cry. You got nothing to worry about, okay? Besides, your dad would probably let people kill me first then touch you or the babies. 

   - Don’t say that. I don’t want anything to happen to you either. 

   - Angel as long as you’re married to me I’m not going anywhere. Even if you weren’t ... I’d probably not go anywhere either. 

   - Stalker, much? - she joked.

   - Oh, yes, I am obsessed with you. - he kissed her. - What should we do today?

   - Do you have any candles?

   - Are we going to summon the spirits? 

   - No but you could drip wax over me. 

   - Angel, you’re toying with me. 

   - Not really, I was hoping you’d toy with me.

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z JUNKYU (treasure)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

lots of cuddles and stroking your skin. he wants to make you feel calmer than you did even before the scene, calm enough to fall asleep. he can sense when you’re back to being your usual self but the softness doesn’t stop.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he has two favourites on his own body and on you! on him, it’s his lips and his legs. his legs because well it’s junkyu he has fabulous legs duh. and his lips because he constantly notices you staring at them. he bites them on purpose when he sees you staring at them and knows that you want to kiss them 24/7

on you, he likes your hair and your fingers the most. he likes the way your fingers wrap around his dick and how you tease the tip with your index finger, sending him straight to heaven. and he likes to stroke your hair. he knows it sends shivers down your spine when you’re already turned on.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he definitely looks forward to seeing you covered in his cum. even if you let him cum inside you, he doesn’t because he wants to see it actually on your body. he lovessss watching it trickle down your fingers before you suck it off them and also clean the remaining liquid off his dick too. he also sometimes has you take selfies on his phone after he’s finished all over your face for a later date.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you sit by him in your short dresses and skirts, he wants to do nothing more than to slowly inch his hand up your inner thigh and finger you, making you leave a damp patch on the seat, but he’s nervous that other people in the room might notice.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

2 different partners, one of which was a long time girlfriend, the other a one night stand. he can be romantic, he can be distant, he knows it all. he’s still a little shy with saying things out loud, but that doesn’t affect his skill and will happily discuss things via text.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

ride him and he’ll be your whiney little bitch. don’t get me wrong, he’s still in charge, but the noises and the faces he pulls have you fooled for a second. he doesn’t have a preference, reverse cowgirl and cowgirl are even, both get him to cum quicker than any other position.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s a silly guy, you think that’s gonna stop just because he’s got his dick out? he’s so loving, even if you are friends with benefits, he just wants to make you smile and to make you feel comfortable and safe, as well as making himself feel comfortable too. a tense atmosphere is only saved for those scenes where you are mad at each other.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he’s always completely shaved. balls too :)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he’s a huge romantic and is solely focused on you. even if he’s desperate, he’s still gonna make it loving and share lots of intimate moments with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he takes his time when it comes to masturbation. he wants to set the scene in his mind as takes a lot to actually turn him on when you aren’t there. he usually gets off at his desk to those pics he’s taken of you or to just his imagination. he gets caught by his members a lot, but he somehow convinces them he’s just working on a song.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

he loves when you call him sir or master, especially when you look at him all innocently. it lets him know that you know your place and that he has you wrapped around his little finger. call him one of these in a sfw context and that’s when you know you’re in for a good time.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

studio or at his desk in his room. although it not ideal for his job, the best sex usually happens when you’re distracting him from something you can tell that he’s stressed with. giving him head while he’s working or while he’s gaming usually gets him really turned on and as much as he’s saying that you guys can’t do anything at the time, you definitely can and will.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

pictures of you! it’s not secret that he has a folder of pictures of you that he uses to get off to. your selfie’s alone really turn him on, especially the ones where you have your fingers in your mouth. but of course there’s plenty of nudes and little teasers in there too. and those pics of your face covered in him cum of course.

lingerie!! boy loves seeing you in the sexiest pieces and sets, so much so that he doesn’t mind splashing the cash and buying you some as a “just because” gift. he’s very gentle (most of the time) and does not rip them because they’re stunning on you! but sometimes he gets carried away and tugs on them a little too much while pulling you towards him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

no food play. it’s too messy and too much of a hassle after a scene when he’s super tired.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

my mind always goes to junkyu getting head under his desk while he’s producing a song, tell me that wouldn't be hot. i can imagine him to be quite whiney but he just lets you do your thing without telling you how to suck it. running the underneath of your tongue over the tip is for sure something that he CRAVES. if he asks he gets, but he just wants you to do it anyway without even being asked.

his oral skills aren’t anything special, they’re good enough, but he gets you so worked up beforehand that the slightest touch will make you cum. he loves to press little kisses against your inner thighs before actually getting to eating you out.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

most times, he wants it slow. he wants to drag out every last moment and make the most of everything and so he keeps the pace slow. he doesn’t wanna tire you or himself out, knowing that you’ll both crave more after the first round. but sometimes he’s a little desperate, there’s nothing slow about it when he’s like this.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he’s not a fan at first, but you soon show him the wonders of quickies in a vacant room where you can get caught, and he’s craving them all the damn time. he becomes a quickie lover and sometimes all he needs is to be satisfied for a while.

honestly though, he wouldn’t choose them over somewhere comfortable like your bedroom and wonders why you’d rather do stuff quickly when you could just wait a few more hours and get ruined properly. if only he understood that sometimes, you just cannot wait, and that it’s all his fault.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he gets excited at just the mere thought of experiments and venturing into a new world with you. the potential danger of literally anything out of the ordinary happening is something that really gets him going. he’s down to try anything once if you are, but he gets a little shy about discussing them.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

usually 2 rounds with a small break in the middle for water and such. he can last around 15 minutes per round inside of you and he’s pretty proud of himself for that lmao, especially since he’s receiving head for like 20 mins lol

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he loves knowing that you use toys when he’s not around, it gets him horny to think about you holding a vibrator against your clit while you think about him. but i don’t think such toys would be welcome in the bedroom while he was there.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

angry/jealous sex, there is no teasing at all. he gets what he wants and that’s it, there’s nothing in it for you (or so he thinks). if you don’t cum that’s your problem because he’s given you ample opportunity.

normal, “everyday” sex, is full of teasing, especially when it comes to giving you oral/foreplay. there’s lots of kissing, lots of orgasm denial and LOTS of touches and kisses. pressing light kisses onto your clothed clit was his signature move, just one had you wanting to cum sometimes.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s whiney as FUCK okay. he’s very loud,you can definitely hear him, maybe even some other people too hehe. sometimes he sends you voice notes of him moaning when he knows you’re horny and alone. he’s not really into dirty talk because he doesn’t want to say anything that will ruin the mood.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he runs his hand through his hair A LOT while you two are being intimate, especially when your lips are wrapped around his length. usually his hair gets sweaty and also, he wants to see you, so you catch him brushing it out of his face a lot.

he’s definitely a tits man. he loves to hold them, sleep on them, suck on them, whatever you/he wants. he holds them while he fucks you because he knows it hurts, it’s a win win. they aren’t always sexual to him either, they’re just another part of you that he can admire (but he’s too shy to compliment you on them and also thinks it would be kinda weird if he did lol)

he. kisses. you. constantly. the kisses are often broken by the thrusts but he doesn’t care and he actually thinks it makes the whole thing more romantic.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

just over average length with a litter under average thickness. i think he’s a show-er too.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

honestly, not that high. he goes through spells of not wanting any to wanting it twice a day, but on the whole, it's not extraordinarily high nor low

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he’s pretty tired, but he doesn’t want to fall asleep until you have or you’ve said it’s okay for him to sleep. he’s a little groggy so you usually make him go to sleep whenever, but it’s also really cute 🥺

[huayno]

from neon genesis evangelion, vol. 12

The Mysterious Stranger

The Anime, the Manga, and the Mark Twain Novella

"God will provide for this kitten." "What makes you think so?" Ursula's eyes snapped with anger. "Because I know it!" she said. "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without His seeing it." "But it falls, just the same. What good is seeing it fall?"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

There is a short novel by Mark Twain, written near the end of his life and published posthumously, entitled The Mysterious Stranger. The tale is set in a small village in 16th century Austria, where three boys one day meet a young man different from themselves: "he had new and good clothes on, and was handsome and had a winning face and a pleasant voice, and was easy and graceful and unembarrassed, not slouchy and awkward and diffident, like other boys."

The mysterious stranger starts to do small but amazing tricks for them—causing water to turn to ice; conjuring grapes and bread out of air; even making birds that can fly out of clay. At last one boy, the story's narrator, works up the courage to ask the stranger who he is:

"'An angel,' he said, quite simply, and set another bird free and clapped his hands and made it flyaway."

The angel then proceeds to really impress them by making an entire toy castle, complete with five hundred miniature soldiers and workmen that move around by themselves. Naturally the boys get involved with this ultimate playset, making their own knights and cannon and cavalry, and although they get rather nervous again when the angel reveals his name is Satan, he assures them he is not that Satan, but only named after the fallen one.

"We others are still ignorant of sin; we are not able to commit it; we are without blemish, and we shall abide in that estate always." Distracted by two of the miniature workmen, "Satan reached out his hand and crushed the life out of them with his fingers... and went on talking where he had left off: 'We cannot do wrong; neither have we any disposition to do it, for we do not know what it is." Horrified as the other boys are, "he made us drunk with the joy of being with him and of looking into the heaven of his eyes, and of feeling the ecstasy that thrilled along our veins from the touch of his hand.'"

Yes, Kaworu Nagisa made quite an impression on the fans of Neon Genesis Evange/ion, despite the fact that, in the original broadcast version of the TV show (before it got all director's-cutted, box-setted, special-editioned, and platinum-lined) he shows up for only slightly less than thirteen minutes of total screen time, the climax of which being an entire minute where nothing happens at all.

That's what being a beautiful angel will do for you, especially when you make the most of your thirteen minutes on Earth by having a Whirlwind romance with the main character that ends in a lover's quarrel with Prog Knives and finally a voluntary martyrdom at the hand of your boy here. Relationships don't come any more tragic than that of Kaworu Nagisa and Shinji Ikari, and when fans (including this one) first saw it on TV, the affair was so brief and shocking the story logic of it didn't click in until much later.

In the anime, Kaworu is acknowledged as the Final Messenger, and, of all the Angels Shinji has to fight, this is the most ruthless battle, won at the highest possible cost to himself. It took even longer for me to realize that the showdown in episode 24 had also taken us full circle from Shinji's first fight in episodes 1 and 2, which emphasized his personal helplessness against the looming Angel Sachiel. Against Kaworu, it is the Angel who becomes the small, helpless figure, while Shinji is represented only by the gargantuan, frightful helm and arm of his Eva Unit-O1. We never see Shinji's human face once throughout the whole final minute of decision.

So as Col. Trautman would have said instead of Major Katsuragi, "It's over, Shinji! IT'S OVER!" Kaworu v. Shinji (or Kaworu x Shinji, in the doujinshi) was the big final showdown between humanity and the Angels. And with the outcome leaving Shinji at his most wretched ever, wouldn't it be nice if everyone just died—your wish being Eva's command, as it turns out that fortunately humanity hardly ever needed the Angels to slaughter itself.

"I am perishing already—I am failing—I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever...But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

Satan's words near the end of Mark Twain's story also uncannily prefigure the end of the world and the Instrumentality project, both of which follow his death in the TV show in such quick order you picture Anno as a hairnetted fry cook dinging the counter bell. By now you see Sadamoto's handling of Kaworu, and perhaps nothing illustrates the different experiences of the manga and the anime better than his handling of this critical character.

No longer the last Angel to be fought, Kaworu actually becomes an active Eva pilot and fights an Angel—the dude even has the nerve to observe the fight is fixed, based on his knowledge of SEELE's prophecies. Sadamoto of course introduces him at an earlier point in the narrative—at the equivalent of episode 19's end—and then sends him to NERV near the equivalent of episode 22's beginning—before certain important events, to put it mildly, can occur. When one notes this kind of thing, of course, it's important to restate that the Evangelion manga has always been a separate but equal "official" version of Eva, with no particular obligation to align itself with the anime, and indeed it was with Book Five, the first released after The End of Evangelion, that Sadamoto began to truly seem free to go in his own direction.

Nevertheless, as the "other" official version of the Eva story, it is reasonable for fans to view it as an "alternate history" relative to the anime, and the way Kaworu has been introduced makes us realize the manga may end very differently indeed. Despite the fact we know here that Kaworu is an Angel from the very beginning, he appears destined to at least hang around long enough to pick up a few paychecks. It's not clear when your health benefits kick in at NERV, although if Ritsuko is your primary caregiver it might be best to forego them.

Sadamoto's remarks upon visiting the U.S. in 2003 indicated that the Eva manga might (might) be planned as a twelve-volume series in all. There is still plenty of room for speculation, as the slow working pace to which the artist himself often refers has of late become almost relativistic—as of this writing, it has been eight months since Sadamoto has drawn a new installment of Eva in Japan, and hence a Volume Ten is nowhere in sight. It may be small comfort, but those of you reading this are pretty much in the same drifting boat as the Japanese fans.

"An angel's love is sublime, adorable, divine, beyond the imagination of man—infinitely beyond it! But it is limited to his own august order. If it fell upon one of your race for only an instant, it would consume its object to ashes. No, we cannot love men but we can be harmlessly indifferent to them; we can also like them, sometimes."

—from The Mysterious Stranger

And with Book Nine we see the most staggering difference thus far between the manga and the anime; Sadamoto's Shinji doesn't even like Kaworu, much less love him. Of course, you could say the less-ethereal Kaworu of the manga is harder to love. I can't believe Sadamoto had him tell Rei he thought she'd be "heftier." And yet he did.

I don't think any A.T. Fields actually got penetrated in the anime; while I do think Shinji felt sexually attracted to Kaworu, and that you the audience are supposed to feel that he felt it, what Kaworu himself thought was a very different matter. Like Rei, I believe Kaworu to be innocent—coyly, he appears not to be so, because while Rei needed to be reached out to, Kaworu has come to reach out; whereas Rei has spent her existence being observed; Kaworu has come to observe.

Indeed, in the manga, Shinji's irritation about Kaworu's invasion of his personal space seems almost a parody of his attitude in the anime. In the TV show, when Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's, he flinched but did not pull away; whereas in the manga it's easy to imagine Shinji slugging him. Instead he goes to run after Rei, hoping to get closer to her again.

I hardly think the change reflects any phobia on Sadamoto's part (after all, we even get to see Shinji's "Unit One" in the manga), but the fact the manga Shinji is less emotionally bleak and empty, and hence less vulnerable. Shinji's just as negative in the manga, of course, but it's an active variety, rather than the passive negative creep (in the best Nirvana song sense) we know from the anime. We don't have to imagine him slugging Gendo; from the look of surprise on Dad's face in Book Seven he would have smacked the beard off his face if Kaji hadn't stopped him.

Neither is Shinji in a positive emotional situation where we leave him here, either; indeed at this point in the manga there's arguably no one he can turn to—the more brutal fate that befell Toji has cut him off from his school friends, Rei has become hesitant, Kaji is dead, and his perennial self-esteem booster Asuka is going to need to rebuild her internal supply before she can even get back to calling him a loser and idiot.

So, like Misato trying to put her own hand on Shinji's, all I can do for now while we wait for Sadamoto-sensei is to recommend for your winter vacation reading list The Mysterious Stranger, which I can almost guarantee will give you new angles to think about Kaworu, and may even earn you class credit besides. A quick look at the novel's comments on Amazon list a teacher who says fundamentalist students walked out of his class when he taught it; another compares it to The Matrix; those who dislike it call it "sick," "bitter," and "twisted." Sounds like good old Evangelion to me!

—Carl Gustav Horn

[a drawing of Kaworu holding a kitten]

Although The Mysterious Stranger can also be found in a number of print editions, including The Portable Mark Twain from Penguin (haw haw), the story, being from the days when mp3s came on shellacked cylinders, is legally available online at http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/TwaMyst.html. The same site has a book called The Holy Bible, King James Version, which fans of Evangelion might also enjoy, although it's technically "Editor's Choice."

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Plastic Beach

mAh, nostalgia. This album was my high school years. I got a digital copy for my birthday from my mom and became obsessed with this album well into college. The dominance of electronica, the use of people with great voices, the expansion of the lore, Lou Reed...this album was all of music when I got it. It's my favorite Gorillaz album and it looks like it's gonna stay that way for a while. But how is it on a not even approaching semi-objective level? Let's find out.

1. Orchestral Intro

You can probably guess it by my awful taste but I'm not really into orchestra. This opening though, with the sound of waves and the mourning instruments, really tipped me off that I was in for something different. This album wasn't going to start off with something chill or even a zombie movie clip. No, at this point, Gorillaz were officially done fucking around.

10/10

2. Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach

Then we get the brass leading us into a good beat and then HOLY SHIT, SNOOP DOGG?! He leads us in like a bandleader while a chorus of women back him up Just Like That while he goes with his usual flow. He adds the needed touch of instant cool to an album that's practically frozen with the artists already on it and with this song, it feels like you're walking past the gate into Disneyland.

9/10

3. White Flag

Some nice Arabian sounding instruments on this one. Pretty cool for Gorillaz to keep engaging in world music. Anyway, this was a really cool instrumental but it's time to move on to the other son---

Huh?

Suddenly, we get beeps and mixes backing up Bashy and Kano as they kick so much ass talking about pacifism for the sake of survival. This song kicks an undisputed amount of ass and it barely even tries.

9/10

4. Rhinestone Eyes

What I like about this song is that I keep finding new things to like about it as the years go back. First, I liked the weirdly-threatening nature of the song along with the woman moaning in time with the verses. Then I liked the video (even though it was insanely shady of EMI to release that without Damon's and Jamie's permission and it ended up being the thing that led to Phase 3's premature ending and Gorillaz going on hiatus). Then I liked the continuation of the moaning that I first noticed in live performances then finally heard in the song itself. This song is like Rolexes falling from the sky.

10/10

5. Stylo

Ah, the first single from the album. I remember telling my dad about this when I first saw the video for it. I was about to write off Gorillaz as a relic of my past before I saw Murdoc and 2D get run off the road by Bruce Willis. This song has an awesome bridge by Yasiin Bey, nice crooning by Damon Albarn and incredible back-up by Bobby Womack, who manages to lift the entire song over his head using just his voice. Damn, wish he had another song that put his voice on full display. Maybe later in the album...

10/10

6. Superfast Jellyfish

Yeah, De La Soul is back! And they're singing about TV dinners! Seriously, these guys can make guessing crossword actually fun instead of a dredging experience and have Shiny Toy Guns frontman Chad Petree singing about radioactive seas brings the whole thing home. It makes you want to really go out and eat a random jellyfish but don't do that. It'll hurt.

11/10

7. Empire Ants

Okay, before I give this song its totally fair score, it should be noted this is my third favorite song of all time. I love Damon's reassuring lyrics in the beginning but the switch in the middle to a more upbeat electronic pop tune pushes this song past perfect.

Then there's Little Dragon...

This song introduced to me to Yukimi Nagano's voice and wow...I didn't think humans could sound like that, let alone an Asian woman singing soul. If you think the instruments are carrying her here, obviously there are clearly no other songs on the album that showcase her talents so I have to recommend After The Rain, Twice and Constant Surprises by Little Dragon. Seriously, this woman's voice will water your fucking crops.

500/10

8. Glitter Freeze

Where is north from here? Don't ask me, I'm not a compass. Anyway, this song has Mark E. Smith from The Fall and they use him to his fullest extent...by which I mean letting him make an absolutely evil fucking laugh somewhere near the end. The instrumentation makes it feel like you're in a storm on a shaky ship and you're definitely going to feel like you need some pills after you're finished. This stuff will put hair on your chest.

11/10

9. Some Kind of Nature

This song introduced me to Lou Reed and I'm grateful to it for that. Lou was a shitty dude but damn his voice really made things better than they should have been. Fuck, I was one of the eight defenders of Lulu for this reason. But Damon doesn't sit with his thumbs up his ass on this song. He holds his own and makes the chorus sound legitimately dreamlike. All we are is stars, indeed.

100/10

10. On Melancholy Hill

This song is awesome to chill to...unless you're escaping a cruise ship while being gunned down by fighter jets. But other than that particular example, I recommend this song for anyone trying to relax while thinking of someone special. But be careful with the last note of this song. That gong can be a real eye opener.

9/10

11. Broken

Bummer of a song but if there's one song you absolutely NEED to learn on melodica, it's this one. Aren't we all broken? Well I am. And this song speaks to me.

10/10

12. Sweepstakes

Yasiin's back and there's gonna be trouble. He plays a carny in this track and you know that no matter how many times you listen to this song, you'll always gonna fall for his schemes. He's gone on to say that this is one of his finest achievements as a MC and I can see why.

10/10

13. Plastic Beach

Holy shit, they got the 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover guy on this track. Makes since because this, outside of Empire Ants, is my favorite song on the album. The harmony, the little imp they got for the bridge, the triangle...everything makes this song better than it has any right to be on an already awesome album. Damn, plastico indeed.

200/10

14. To Binge

Shock of all shocks, Yukimi's back! And it's a duet with Damon! And it's a song about a relationship torn apart by addiction! It's not my birthday so it must be Christmas. These two manage to drown the listen in waves of audio goodness that leaves them feeling like they spent 3 minutes and 56 seconds standing under a waterfall.

20/10

15. Cloud of Unknowing

Okay, I cried to this song. And now, with Bobby Womack's passing, I cry even harder. This song should be an anime ending with how solemn it is but you need to listen to the end to hear, "It may bring sunshine on its wings." Also, Damon covered this song live after Womack's passing. I suggest you look it up because it is tear-ripping.

50/10

16. Pirate Jet

Eh. Pretty average song compared to the others on the album but I appreciate the message. Sweet Lord, people. Turn off your shit when you're not using it. We only got one planet and I don't trust Elon Musk.

8/10

Album Score: 60.1/10

Whoo! No biases! Anyway, next week is The Fall, otherwise known as the album Albarn did on his Ipad. Otherotherwise known as the album a significant portion of the fandom has a hate-on for. Does it deserve the hate? We'll find out!

[peaches-writes]

relax—i’m nervous too

description: something short and sweet member: jeongin / i.n. word count: 2.2k genre: fluff, implied best friends to lovers au, first date au, summer au notes: innie went on vlive then i remembered that this has been sitting on my drafts since i posted hwang’s guide to gardening lmao

You wonder if you should hold Jeongin’s hand as you walk down the natural slope of the road, eyes fleeting down to his hands hidden inside his long coat’s pockets. You are, after all, in the middle of quite a packed crowd on this particular Sunday—it’s dangerously easy to lose each other (especially you since you haven’t been exactly the most attentive to the people coming from the opposite direction)—and the sidewalk’s quite steep since it’s, first and foremost, a hill. Also, it’s not like you haven’t done it before; holding onto Jeongin in any way is a long-established habit of yours formed at the first instance he declared you as his best friend years ago.

Holding onto Jeongin in this situation, from a casual standpoint, is the most logical thing to do—except this situation is anything but casual. It’s your first date ever and your first date with Jeongin, your best friend since forever. Holding his hand without permission, along with the other kinds of skinship that you used to initiate for this matter, meant nothing that can easily be misinterpreted before but now it’s suddenly everything. I don’t want to seem too clingy, you frown to yourself absentmindedly, almost tripping on your walk in the process.

Jeongin immediately seems to notice even when he’s walking slightly ahead of you, turning around and placing a concerned hand to your upper arm that does nothing but fluster you more. He doesn’t tell you but he’s noticed this entire time that you seemed really nervous and it’s not helping his own nervousness at all.

“You okay?” He takes a step closer to you in order to avoid bumping into other people as the two of you stop in the middle of the crowd, pure concern in his eyes since it’s the second time you’ve tripped on nothing.

Unconsciously, the two of you both contemplate if the question’s asking if you’re okay from your small accident or if you’re okay despite acting a bit off and distant.

Quickly recovering, you muster up a smile. “I’m fine.” You take a step forward, a gesture that you continue moving. Assured, he follows and the two of you resume walking, his hand immediately sliding down to yours when you try returning them to your own coat pockets.

“I noticed.” He points out sheepishly, as if he’s still unsure if he should bring it up. “Relax—you’re making me nervous too.”

“Sorry.” You squeeze his hand as you steal a glance in his direction, catching the way he briefly returns your look with a small smile. He’s flushed red, nervous too, while trying to look past the people ahead of you for the building you’ve been looking for. “I was just—overthinking about holding your hand. It’s silly, I know.”

But he shakes his head no. “It’s not, I was wondering the same thing, too.” He then touches the nape of his neck with his free hand, chuckling to diffuse the awkwardness.

Somehow, it calms you down knowing that you’re on the same page.

“Oh, hey, we’re here.” Jeongin points to an old building across the street, showcasing endless racks of clothes and trinket shops. There’s no sign or any identification for the building itself, Jeongin just knew from the old cinema next to it that serves as a landmark.

Thank God the road to this particular shopping district is closed on the weekends.

The two of you cross the street along, careful of avoiding the chalk drawings and the people squatted over them on the ground. You make a mental note of this—and the flyer for a music festival later posted on the streetlight that meets you at your destination—for later.

“Try this one!” 

“This one suits you!”

When you’ve completely mastered how to efficiently navigate the maze that is the thrift shop you and Jeongin found yourself in (which only took some 30 minutes actually), the two of you immediately tackled the shops with clothes and shoe racks that caught your eyes. Exchanging clothing suggestions, buying trinkets you don’t actually need but found too adorable not to buy, thinking of what you could do to upgrade certain pieces, trying to haggle for some of the more unique pieces you’ve found (with decent success), and playing with the occasional toys you found on display in your way, you feel more at ease with each other now—as if it’s just another hangout and not your first official date.

“I like this denim so much. I think we look rather cute!” You stand in front of a full mirror next to Jeongin who looks back at you through your reflections with a matching denim jacket you found hanging above your heads while you were looking at jumpsuits. “We can paint these and put the pins we bought on them and—“

You stop yourself from talking immediately when you notice Jeongin trying to stifle a giggle, making you laugh. Instinctively, he covers his face in embarrassment, “What?”

“You’re smiling so much!” You can’t help but smile now too, turning your head to him so that you’re looking directly at him and not through your reflections. “What’s getting you all so giggly?”

He initially shakes his head no, teasing with a smile, but you insist. “...You said ‘we.’”

Your heart melts right there and then. “Well, yeah, they’re matching denims after all?” You tease despite knowing what he meant. “I’m not going to layer these on myself.”

You’ve done a lot of things together, there’s no doubt about that, but now it’s just a little bit different—but for a good reason. It makes you feel strangely excited.

“Okay, yeah, I agree, we do look cute in these. You, especially.” He concludes, a wide grin still on his face, before taking out his phone and putting an arm on your shoulder. “Can we take a pic?”

He ends up snapping a handful photos of the two of you, making a mental note to change his wallpaper later when he gets home.

“Do you think the auntie can give us some kind of couples’ discount.” You joke as you shed off the jacket, feeling more light and free now that you’re doing something with Jeongin.

“You’re doing it again!” 

“What?” 

“’Couple.’” 

You roll your eyes playfully, elbowing him on his side as he takes off his jacket. “You asked me on this date and you’re suddenly nervous about the word ‘couple’?” 

Even though, it’s your turn teasing him now, you did feel the same jittery feeling of calling the two of you a couple. It’s such a long jump from calling each other best friends, especially since you’ve grown accustomed to it for years. 

“No, I like the sound of it.” Jeongin is quick to defend himself when he’s fully recovered from your sudden attack. You laugh because it took him a while. 

Also, you did manage to get a discount after that.

On the way out, you spot a corridor that leads to an adjacent building. Tugging on Jeongin’s arm, you excitedly point it out, specifically the paintings hanging on the walls that peek out from your limited view. “Should we check this out?”

It’s not like the two of you had anything planned specifically for the day besides checking out the thrift shop—you wanted to eat lunch in between, of course (since it’s nearing 2 PM) but somehow you didn’t want to sit down yet.

And Jeongin seems to agree. “Yeah, let’s go.” The two of you then make a turn, heading to the mysterious corridor instead of back outside.

Walking in the other building, it immediately dawns on the two of you that it’s the old cinema Jeongin referred to as the thrift shop’s landmark, remodeled into a more open space with art galleries, snack stands, and other upscale stores, especially him. It suddenly made him extra nervous as the two of you look around while walking over to the art gallery that has caught your eye, displayed at very center where the light from the clear ceiling seems to be focusing its light on.

Jeongin wanted to check this place out for the longest time since he asked his dad where he could take you on a first date. Watching a movie at the old cinema would’ve been your second date—if you agreed to it, of course—but here you are.

“We can eat lunch here afterwards.” Jeongin points to a couple of mall restaurants as the two of you approach the displays. He also notices that there’s still a theater on the highest floor—he’s noticing a lot of things, actually, taking notes for later. “Or maybe check out the jewelry shop over there.”

“Lucky I spotted the corridor, ‘no?” You briefly look at him from examining a painting of a girl and flowers, a proud smile on your face. “It’s really cool—especially if you think about how it used to be a cinema!”

He nods in agreement, matching your slow pace of moving from painting to painting to appreciate the details of the work on display. “You know, my parents used to go here a lot.”

“Really? Is that how you knew about the thrift shop?”

“Yeah...” He then briefly ponders over telling you the rest. “...They also went on their first date here at the cinema.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Was that too much?” He asks, following with a nervous chuckle. Are you supposed to say that on a first date? All the gears in his head turn to panicking internally. “It’s just—“

“No, it’s not—I’m—“ You stutter out, looking at him fully now instead of the paintings. You’re almost done circling around the entire display, anyway. “I’m honored...is that the right word? Like I feel really happy—like I can boast this to Seungmin and the others and go, ‘yup, Jeongin took me to a very special place for our first date last summer’ when school starts again.’—I can say that, right?”

“It’s...it’s not weird or anything?” 

“Why would it be?” You shrug nonchalantly, curious as to where this conversation is going. “This is like your parents’ cool date suggestion or something.”

“If you say it that way, it makes it look like our date’s very unoriginal.” He pouts in frustration, making you giggle.

Shaking your head, you counter, “No, it doesn’t because even when the place is the same, it’s still ours in a way—like, did Mr. and Mrs. Yang buy matching denim jackets and questionable statement pins at the thrift shop? Or checked out this amazing installation?”

“No, definitely not.” You manage to return a smile on his face. “In fact, they didn’t go on a Sunday so they couldn’t enjoy the night music festival.”

“You caught that too?” His eyes widen. 

“Do you want to go later?” 

“If we can draw on the road too with chalk!”

It fully sinks on Jeongin that this is, in fact, your very first date and, hopefully, the first of many. He suddenly feels excited to tell his parents later all the things they missed out on this shopping district when he gets home later. “Okay, deal. Let’s eat first, though, I’m starving!”

“Chicken?” 

“Chicken, yes please.”

You leave the cinema-turned-mall late since you both decided on drinking iced coffee and eating fries after your meal. Returning to the outside world somewhere around 5 PM, hands now naturally clasped together, you buy chalk on a nearby stationery store then cross the street, finding a spot after 10 minutes amidst the long stretch of already painted road.

It’s almost the end of the day so most people are on the other lane, waiting for the night music festival under tents set up by the organizers. Still, that didn’t stop the two of you from doodling along with some children, couples, and friends.

“What are you doing?” You ask after a while, peering over Jeongin’s shoulder curiously.

“I’m drawing a fox and a rabbit.” He points out, the mismatched colors he’s used used making you laugh. “Guess who’s who.”

“We have red and white colors here—where have you ever seen a pink fox and a pink rabbit?” You chuckle, glancing back at your own own work of making a bouquet of flowers.

“Just this morning when you were blushing so hard about holding my hand—” He teases cheekily, earning him a slap on the arm. “—Hey, I mean, I was too!”

“You talk like you weren’t so giggly about me referring to ourselves as a couple.” You’re the one pouting this time, but lightheartedly. “I’m erasing your card on this bouquet.”

“You wouldn’t!” 

“Yes, I can!”

The playful banter eventually makes you laugh that you almost stumbled and accidentally sat down on the road before Jeongin steadied you with his dust-free hand on your arm. When you’ve recovered, you go back to working on your chalk drawings.

“Hold on, let me take a photo.” You whip out your phone once the two of you are done, standing over your drawings and giggling all the way. Jeongin drew, as mentioned, a fox and a rabbit walking around buildings and under ‘Jeongin and Y/N were here’ in big letters. You, on the other hand, drew a bouquet with a message and two people in matching denim jackets. “This is so cute.”

While you take photos, Jeongin decides on reading aloud the note you’ve written along with the bouquet. “‘Jeongin and Y/N’s first date, summer ‘20. Let’s make more memories like this together!’” He then turns to you, now done taking photos. “We’re going on a second date?”

“Aren’t we?” You look up at him despite the feeling of heat rising from your neck. “Today was fun—not disastrous like they say about first dates, we can accidentally do those later.”

You really are looking forward to a second date now—and a third, fourth, fifth...

Meanwhile, it feels like a weight is lifted of Jeongin’s chest and his first instinct is to pull you into a hug. “I’m glad.” He rests his chin on your crown. “Let’s go on that second date soon.”

“And go back here in the future, I like it here.” You hug him back, relieved that you’re still, even at the end of the day, on the same page. “Maybe they do have really good movies at the old cinema, we didn’t check.”

Jeongin only chuckles at this now. “Sounds like a promising future date.” 

Later that night, the two of you enjoy lively music at the night music festival, jumping around, dancing, and singing to the songs both familiar and unfamiliar.

[qiankunfics]

KunTen Masterlist Part 4

AO3

1.   we don't know how to talk, but damn, we know how to fuck by flowerhairclips

Summary: It’s hilarious to Ten how they ended up fucking on the regular, because Kun was so uptight and didn’t at all look like the type to have several pornhub webpages open on his incognito browser that reflected all the kinks he had hidden underneath his collared shirts and slacks. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

2. Lords and Ladies by Mntsnflrs

Summary: How galling it must have been to see a common whore beside the throne, his hands in the King’s hair, lips against the King’s ear. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

3. Doctor's Orders by Fire_shockk

Summary: Ten gets some upsetting orders from his doctor, and Kun is there to make sure he goes through with it. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

4. Summer Stars by Mntsnflrs

Summary: He never asked for favours, so when he did, Kun agreed without asking questions. Rating: Mature Status: Completed Trigger: Descriptions of injuries 

5. Now your mess is mine by Livvinamess

Summary: Courting him like an omega would court a beta, and that was a problem, because Kun wasn't one. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

6. supernova beat by taeyomi (buttercream)

Summary: For the record, Kun didn’t free fall into love with Ten. It was a painstakingly gradual process, but in hindsight, it probably started that very day. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

7. back to black by rendawnie

Summary: Kun hums under his breath. His wrists ache from the leather straps that had bound him yesterday, during a particularly bad episode. They’d had to restrain him. Ten would have been proud, he thinks to himself. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot  Trigger: Self-Harm, Mental Illness

8. when the time comes by kuntenjohnil

Summary: Ten summons a human familiar?  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot 

9. bewitched by andnowforyaya

Summary: Kun and Ten move into their starter home outside of the city and throw a housewarming party. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

10. i'm gonna bed into you like a cat prance into a beanbag by eatthatup

Summary: All he does is smile, widely, because he loves them, because he’s happy that Ten is happy, because he’s glad they can share such intimate moments. Sometimes it makes him emotional. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

11. Perfect Little Family by oonymay

Summary: In which Kun and Ten find a crying child in a forest and naturally decide that raising it in secret is the best option. And therein begins a battle with languages, the meaning of home and feelings. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

12. I Literally Hate You by RainbowDonkeys

Summary: Roommates Ten and Kun hate each other and they decide to hate-fuck.  Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

13.  Totally Showed Him! by pinkfire

Summary: If Ten is so fed up, he can just put Kun in his place, show him that he can’t just step all over Ten whenever he wants. What’s the worst that could happen? Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

14.  it's only up from here by unconscious

Summary: Ten can't quite ask for what he wants. Kun is determined to figure it out. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

15. don't you go by angstonly

Summary:  one reunion and way too many drinks later, kun and ten find each other in the same situation that led to them drifting apart two years ago Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

16. dark white room by rainingover

Summary: Ten visits Kun in the prison wing of the ship. Rating: Explicit Status: Completed 

17. How I’ve waited by crazvdream

Summary: In which Kun and Ten are both dumbasses who don’t know how to express their love. They get there eventually. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

18. Interest by EbbaTriesToWrite

Summary: He didn’t speak word about his interest in makeup but kept indulging himself by watching videos, he always made sure to use an incognito window though - he knew other boys did too but for very different reasons. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

19. Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken by colorskun

Summary: On the worst days, Kun wasn’t entirely sure what Ten’s voice sounded like when he told him he loved him. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot Triggers: Blood and Injury, Psychological torture

20. Take Yourself Home by Phoenix_Tears for Purple_rules

Summary: Seeing them now, nobody would ever imagine that Kun and Ten were once head over heels for each other. Rating: Explicit Status: On-Going

21. love you out loud by unconscious 

Summary: Yes, Kun ge, I like it when you hold me down, and pull my hair, and don’t let me touch, and maybe you could spit in my mouth again? Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

22.  to the moon and back by andnowforyaya

Summary: “Hey, have you seen Ten?” Kun asked Johnny for the third time that night. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

23. ‘Cause I can’t make you stay if you wanna go by kkkalguksu

Summary: “He… he ran away.” Kun’s mouth agape in surprise. Maybe he never expected this kind of mess. Especially, not on their wedding day.  Rating: General Status: One-Shot

24.  The Moonlight Shines At Midnight by pylador19

Summary: What if you were the very few people in the world, like Ten, who didn’t have a soul mark anywhere on their body? Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

25. actually, I don't have a daughter by mikararinna

Summary: "Look, I'm a single gay man in my 30s who's probably desperate for love. When a hot male with fluffy brown hair suddenly talked to me about his babies after I ranted about my sweet, sweet baby TongTong I didn't expect him to be a single father of two!" Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

26. He Moves Like The Waves by pinkfire

Summary: “You’ll get sand in your mouth. Want me to send you his number?” He has a knowing look on his face, eyebrows rising and sinking teasingly. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

27. from me, to you by madhoney

Summary: story of kunten falling in love over time through the exchanging of gifts. Rating: General Status: On-going

28.  The Games by SourwolfZiam

Summary: Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (Thailand, 3-time Olympic medallist) announces his upcoming retirement from professional gymnastics a month before the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

29. Familiar Flames by pinkfire

Summary: Ten didn't think he deserved to find another familiar, let alone a loving werewolf Kun who smells like sweets and warm bread. Rating: Mature Status: On-Going

30. it's always say goodnight n go by piiisces

Summary: when ten misses the train home, kun lets him sleep at his place for the night. Rating: Teen Status: One-shot

31.  gotta be first by kuntenjohnil

Summary: lmao xuxi i just walked into this bar and someone yelled dibs - Kun Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

32.  Senses. by Lesbevian

Summary: In which Ten misses his boyfriend while promoting overseas. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

33.  let's be lucky people by xflatline

Summary: Kun and Ten have been dating for forever.Everyone thinks they're the perfect couple including themselves. Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot

34.  Lights down low by mkhhhx

Summary: “Why, wasn’t my office romantic enough?” Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

35. On your side by kkkalguksu

Summary: “I have good news and a bad news.” Kun received a message from his husband that contains this message. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

36.  composure by andnowforyaya

Summary: “What do you want, baby?” Kun mumbled, sinking back down onto flat footing languidly and continuing to push his ass back, teasing Ten. “What does baby want?” Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

37. i wil confess what has been on the tip of my tongue tomorrow by ActivelyWeird

Summary: Ten knew they didn't sell any rice milk, so why was he telling this customer that they did? Rating: General Status: One-Shot

38.  the moment you can breathe 

Summary: Kun ends up creating a fake fan account for himself to try and connect with his fanbase. Ten is a very big (and horny) fan of his. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot *Twit fic AU on AO3

39. Liu Yangyang's Masterplan by Kill3rWhal3D1ck

Summary: *focus pairing is DoJae but KunTen does feature well in the first few chapters Rating: Explicit Status: Completed 

40. you're the right thing after all by unconscious

Summary: kunten getting together and being romo soulmates with intersex ten Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

41. 𝙏𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 ✧ : .゜ by tintedCupre

Summary: As night drips his lips connect with Ten again and he forgets the lines of what is sin and what is not. Rating: Teen/Mature Status: One-Shot Trigger: Homophobia

42.  Mr Qian and the oh-so-absolutely flirtatious Mr Lee by writesinfontuwu

Summary: Qian Kun finds a secretary that does his job well and actually puts up with his demands. Bad thing about him? Overly, insufferably, annoyingly, (adorably) flirtatious. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

43. in a place like this by merryofsoul

Summary: Kun and Ten meet in the hospital, but not in the way you'd think. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

44. Normal but Special by MelodicNoise for kungod

Summary: Kun's birthday isn't shaping up to be what he expected. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

45.  Aim and Shoot by softyjseo

Summary: After being separated from his group, Ten doesn't lose hope to find them again. He stumbles upon an abandoned hotel and hopes to survive. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

46.  boy, i can't cover up my heart by kunhyangs

Summary: ten decides confessing to kun through a vague, 'didn't-think-this-through' text is the best way to confess. except, it doesn't work as expected, but he's still happy with the outcome. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

47.  He's Our Little Shit by rowx3yourships

Summary: “Tell me why the teachers call me first?” Ten walked over and sat in Kun’s lap. “You’re the responsible adult, not me.” Rating: General Status: One-Shot

48.  Touchin by starryeyed (kaylie153)

Summary: ten meets someone at a club and takes him home Rating: Explicit  Status: One-shot

49. ursa minor by lowkeyamen

Summary: No one is allowed to tell Ten he's a good boy apart from Kun. Certainly not some cheap little lie detector toy. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

50.  give it a shot by 10vesick

Summary: Ten takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 3

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1       Part 2     Part 4     Part 5

Same day, later in the evening

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?” The Joker crawls next to you although he has an idea about why you look upset.

You’re on your tummy scribbling on a piece of paper and he can tell you are concentrating hard while working on the current project: writing down your name. Only got the first three letters then the rest went blank.

“I….I can’t think…” you intensely stare at the blue pen in between your fingers.

“Of course you can!” J reaches over so he can guide your arm since it’s clear you need help. “There you go… done. Now try to copy it bellow, alright?”

“Hm?”

“Try again Princess,” he taps on the sheet and watches Y/N struggling to imitate the word. “Well done!” The King of Gotham praises. “Wanna give it a shot with a few more simple words?”

“Mmmm…” you debate. “OK?...”

You analyze The Joker’s movements as he depicts four letter words, one of them getting your attention in particular.

“Love?” you smile, happy you deciphered the meaning.

“Yes, a basic…”

“Love?” you scoot over, more and more excited and it clicks for your boyfriend.

“It’s just an example for you to exercise and relearn how to write, understand? It doesn’t mean anything!”

You giggle and touch his nose with yours.

“Love!”

“No Pumpkin! I don’t love you, how did you get such atrocity from my note??!! It has no hidden meaning! I barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of like you and that’s it!”

You snicker and quickly slide to grab the yellow teddy bear, whispering in its ear:

“Love.”

“Aren’t you listening Princess?? Don’t start fake rumors!!”

Still…Y/N lives on her own little planet and her damaged brain grasped a wonderful concept despite The Clown vehemently dismissing his actions.

“Serves me right for being supportive,” he grumbles and resorts to diversion, the best weapon against your new found logic.

“Wanna read to me?” he points at the pile of children’s books resting on the nightstand: they are the best to use in your present circumstance.

“… … Read?... ” you ask, confused.

“Here,” J picks a random publication and gives it to you.

Might as well fully take advantage.

“Spoil me!” he buries his cheeks in your cleavage, guiding your free hand towards his green locks.

You never figured out how he doesn’t suffocate with his face glued to your skin; sometimes he sleeps like that for hours. Must be a special talent.

“The … ummm… the…. The duck…” you read the first page and massage his scalp, frowning at the words you can’t make sense of. “Cross… … crossed?...”  

“Yeah,” The Joker’s mumbled voice agrees.

“… the… g-glass…” you stutter at the sentence.

“Grass,” J corrects you.

“Hm?...”

“Grass Pumpkin, not glass.”

“Ummm… grass…” you continue to read the best way you can and he rectifies your errors until no more sounds emerge: The King is softly purring, a clear indication he’s dreaming.

You toss the book on the floor, fed up with the difficult task of organizing your thoughts; pampering him is better. You slowly tilt his head backwards so you can kiss him: The Joker frowns in his daze and you pinch his butt, chuckling.

“What is it?” he opens one eye and you pull down on his boxers. “Princess, we had sex an hour ago. Do you think I run on batteries?” the complaint is fast to follow.

... … … Batteries?... …                                            

You jump from the bed and stump to the closet, fumbling around for a couple of minutes before returning to a puzzled Clown.

You stretch the elastic of his underwear, dropping two batteries you snatched from the flashlight inside.

“How… how long do we w-wait?” you innocently ask.

The Joker bites his lip, attempting to contain himself yet he can’t: he bursts out laughing at your quirky solution while dragging you on top of him.

“You’re the funniest and smartest person I know, Pumpkin!” he cracks up, actually convinced he’s telling the truth. “Who’s my clever girl, huh?”

He’s talking about a girl again…What girl?...

Y/N peeks behind her and J reminds his baffled half:

“For God’s sake, Princess! I’m talking about you; you’re my girl! Can you get my phone?” he gestures at his mobile ringing by your pillow.

You give the cell to J, ignoring his conversation with Frost: you keep kissing him with the sole purpose of getting undivided affection.

“I guess Adam is here to pick up the cars you damaged,” he finally ends his chat. “Let’s go supervise the process. Don’t be disappointed, Pumpkin, we’ll have fun later. It’s your fault for destroying my collection!”

****************

The Joker watches his crew sweeping the concrete in the garage: broken glass, pieces of metal and debris scattered on the pavement after his vehicles were hauled inside huge trucks in order to be transported to Adam’s workshop for repairs.

“Thanks a lot, Y/N!” he growls, frustrated.

“Y-you’re welcome,” you serenely reply without a care in the universe.

“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, Princess!” he huffs at your indifference.

“Love,” you confess to the fluffy toy squished in your embrace.

“I heard that and it’s an aberration! Why do you keep persisting with this nonsense?! I’m literally stating the opposite!” J admonishes but who’s listening to him?

Not Y/N.

“Nolan is texting me,” he changes subject. “He wants me to meet him at his warehouse to inspect the boxes of ammo for the deal. Will you accompany me?”

“Hm?”

“Car ride?” The King of Gotham simplifies his request.

“U-hum!” you nod, preparing to enter the purple Lamborghini which luckily wasn’t in the garage when you smashed J’s cars.

“Frost, if you see me parked up the street in the driving alley, don’t come investigate, got it? This woman’s been pestering me for extracurricular activities, might not make it inside the mansion.”

“Of course, sir!” Jonny finds it wise to consent to his boss’s rambling.

“Tell everyone: if the Lamborghini’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’!”

**************

You’re sitting on J’s lap, completely blocking the arrangements happening at the table: you’re more preoccupied with your game than whatever it is they are negotiating about.

“What are you playing, Y/N?” Nolan curiously inquires because your thumbs are surely moving at a crazy speed on your cell’s screen.

“Hm?” you stop and gaze his way.

“What are you playing?” the man repeats.

“Mmmmm… Tetrixx Bricks.”

“What level are you on?” Nolan leans over, his eyes getting big at the revelation. “Holy shit, Y/N! How did you make it this far??! I’ve been striving to pass level 98 for a month!”

“She’s smart, that’s how!” your boyfriend sassily underlines.

“Do you think that you can help me?” the guy slides his phone in front of you.

“I’m sorry, is this a gaming party or a business matter?!” The Joker scoffs.

“Well, we’re pretty much done: we accepted the terms, we just have to move the merchandise in the morning.”

You are already matching the colorful blocks on Nolan’s game, his face ecstatic when the obnoxious song announces with great fanfare: “Level Up!”

“Holy cow!!!!” he shouts and you return his phone. “Thank you!”

“Hey Y/N,” one of the mobster’s henchmen dares to voice his demand. “Would you help me too? I’m stuck on level 76.”

“I’m dead on 105,” another goon mumbles under his breath, stepping in the line forming to your left.

J would normally cut off this useless waste of his precious time yet he can’t deny the gratification building up in his heart: heavens knows how it feels to be trapped inside your own mind and his girl has definitely battled unimaginable odds to be where she’s at right now.

Living with cognitive impairment is not easy, but she’s still here and it beats the alternative.

“Good job, Pumpkin!” The Clown boasts at the long string of cell phones parading through your fingers while you aid Nolan’s team leveling up on Tetrixx Bricks.

And somehow his hands are holding you tighter, not even bored with the random outcome of his meeting.

**************

You escaped on the terrace for a break and J is discussing the last details with your host: tomorrow you have a routine checkup, thus he has to wrap it up soon.

“Out of my way, half-wit!” Derek aka Nolan’s oldest son pushes you. Would he have done it if you were the same individual from almost a year ago? Nope. Apparently he believes he’s entitled to take advantage of Y/N since she’s alone outside.

“Why did Mister Joker bring you anyway?” he lights up a cigarette, annoyed. “Stupid monosyllabic bitch!” he ogles your summer dress, swiftly lifting it. “Are you wearing diapers?” he chuckles as you walk backwards, trying to process what he’s throwing at you. “Come on, show me!” he approaches and carefully scouts the premises to ensure you two don’t have company.

Perhaps the neurons in your brain are overcharged for the moment; nevertheless, they warn of imminent altercation: the dude’s a total douchebag.

“Are you shy?” Derek grins. “C’mon, lemme see!! Oooohh…fuuuuck…” he bends over in pain when your knee unexpectedly kicks him in the crotch: you used all your strength and he drops down, curling up in a ball. “God…dammit!” Derek shrieks at the defense he didn’t anticipate.

“I…I’m not wearing diapers!” you stammer and because he landed on the edge of the pool you roll him in the water also.

The loud splash makes The Joker wave at you, glad he eventually found you: he’s been searching around the warehouse for the last 5 minutes.

“There you are! Quit playing around, Pumpkin; we have a swimming pool at home!”

You rush by his side eager to bail before the asshole pops up from the bottom of the pond.

“Sushi for dinner?” J suggests and Y/N is not the type of individual to reject one of her favorite dishes.

“I…I love sushi,” you smile elbowing him. “Love.”

“Don’t start with me again!” The King barks at your obvious hint.

*************

“Are you eating the last piece?” he glares at your salmon roll.

“No,” you offer the treat to him. “You…you need it more,” Y/N verbalizes her concern regarding his well-being.

“Can’t disagree, Pumpkin. You exhausted me you naughty girl,” J pretends to be super tired. “What can I do? Princess wants, Princess gets,” he inhales, resigned.

You’re not focusing on his whining: frankly, your intellect has been challenged enough for today. You cuddle in his arms while he chews on his food and watch TV without paying attention to the movie.

“Don’t forget tomorrow morning you have your doctor’s appointment,” J mentions. “I have to stay and wait for the guns I purchased from Nolan; you’ll have to manage without me. I’ll send an escort, deal?”

“U-hum.”

“Don’t yawn, Pumpkin. I’m the one that should yawn,” The Joker scratches his thigh. “This move sucks,” he pouts and turns off the TV. “I have a better idea,” he chooses a kid’s book from the stack. “Read to me.”

You open the textbook and although your brain is overwhelmed, you still make an effort for his sake.

“Mmm… Rainy… sky… Skies?...”

“Yup,” he turns on his side and nuzzles in your hair.

“Float over…hmm… t-town…”, your voice echoes in the room, soothing a worn out Joker.

Strange he can’t properly rest unless you read to him: after all J barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of likes you.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[emy-loves-you]

Useless Gays: The Prequel Chapter 2

Thick as Thieves

Chapter 1 | Masterlist | Chapter 3

So this chapter is divided into 3 flashbacks: The first one has Roman at 5 years old, 10 in the second one, and somewhere between 20 and 24 in the third one (after high school, before WNaUG). For those of you who are reading this and not WNaUG (which makes no sense but okay), Rebecca/ReeRee is Remus' deadname. Remus and Roman are fraternal twins, with Remus being slightly older. Remus will be using the name Rebecca and she/her pronouns because: 1.) Remus didn't realize that he was a boy until he was 13, so he wouldn't use male pronouns yet. 2.) This chapter is all in Roman's POV. Roman never knew that Remus transitioned, since he ran away before telling Roman. So, until someone tells him, Roman will always use she/her pronouns when describing ReeRee.

“Come on, Ro! It’s not that high!” She laughed, striking a dramatic pose.

“Yes, it is!” 8-year-old Roman yelled, balling his hands up at his sides. She knew he was afraid of heights! Roman started crying, and he glared at the bottom of the tree. He was such a crybaby. Why couldn’t he be brave like her?

She stopped laughing. Roman looked up and saw her smiling softly at him, no longer teasing. “(Sigh) Here, give me your hand. We’ll go up together.” She crouched on the tree branch, using one hand to steady herself and lowered the other one towards Roman.

Roman frowned, eyeing the hand in suspicion. “You’re not gonna drop me, right?”

She raised her arm to place over her heart. “I swear as your big sister-”

“By six minutes!”

“I won’t drop you. Or pretend to drop you. Or shake the branch. Or drop down and leave you up here-”

“Okay, I get it!” Roman yelled, stomping his foot.

She smiled again, the type of smile that Roman wishes he saw more often. It was the smile that said I love you. You mean the world to me. I will always protect you. “I would never use your fear for my own amusement. You know that, Ro. And if you fall, I’ll catch you. I promise.” She extended her hand again. “Now get your butt up here! I have somethin’ to show ya!”

Roman grabbed her hand, and there was a scary woosh before he was in the tree. He buried his head in her hair, so scared. We’re so high up and we’re gonna fall fall fall fall fa-

“Shh,” her hand rubbed against his back, grounding him. “We’re fine, we’re safe, nothin’s gonna happen I swear.” They sat like that for a few minutes, Romans sobs slowly turning into sniffles. She slowly pulled away, using her hands to keep Roman steady. “Better?” He nodded. “Good. Now look.” She pointed somewhere off to his left. He forced himself to look away from her face, his fears resurfacing. He took a deep breath before turning towards his left.

“Woah.” There, on the neighboring branch, was a bird’s nest. There were two eggs, and Roman watched as cracks slowly formed along the eggs. The two birds were nearly identical, with the bird on the right hatching seconds before its sibling. “They’re so pretty.”

“That’s us.” She relaxed on the branch, her back leaning up against the tree. “Birds of a feather flock together. And we’ll stay together, even when our wings are plucked and our dreams are shattered. Twins forever, right?”

He opened his mouth to respond. “Righ-”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Roman shrieked in fright, suddenly losing his grip on the branch. He screamed as he started to fall.

“Ro!” Suddenly, arms were wrapped around him, and he landed on top of her. “Ah! God that hurt! Are you okay Ro!”

Ro nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He got up and gasped. “Your arm!” Her arm was twisted from where it was crushed underneath him.

She went to move it and hissed in pain. “I think it’s broken.” She smiled, but Roman could see tears in her eyes. “At least I caught you! I told you that you’d be fine!” Before Roman could respond, his mother marched up to them. Momma immediately began to scold them, only noticing her broken arm when she went to grab her and she screamed in pain.

Roman was told to clean his room while they went to the doctor. When they returned, she had a lime green cast on her arm. Momma took away their favorite toys (her dolls and Roman’s foam sword) before telling them to clean up the kitchen. Roman grabbed a red sharpie, signing his name on her cast. She smirked. “Your ‘m’ looks like a ‘v.’”

“Does not!”

“Does too!”

“Does not!”

“Does too!”

“Does too!”

“Does not!” She realized what had happened an laughed. “Good one, Ro.” She used her good hand to ruffle his hair. Her special smile was back, the one that she only gave him.

He giggled, leaning into her touch. “Thanks, ReeRee!”

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Boom!

Roman shrieked, pulling his blanket over his head. He could hear the heavy rain against his window. He loved rain (he stomped in puddles while she made mud pies) but he hated thunder. It was so loud and he could never tell when it would-

Boom!

He shrieked again. He flushed in embarrassment. He was 10, for God’s sake! He shouldn’t be afraid of something as silly as thunder! His sister had gotten over these stupid fears years ago! His mind wandered to his sister. Can I?

He shook his head. It’s really late at night, she’s probably sleeping. When they were younger, Roman would go stay in her room during thunderstorms (he’d tried going to his parents room once, but they yelled at him and sent him back to his room). But that was when they were younger. They were 10 now, and she kicked him out last time he went into her room uninvited.

Boom!

Roman jumped, falling off of his bed. That’s it! He quickly grabbed his Dragon Witch (a stuffed animal that Uncle Terrence gave him for his 7th birthday) and ran out of his room. He made his way down the hall until he reached the pink door. Roman scrunched up his nose. His sister hated pink. She had asked their father if they could repaint her door green, and he yelled at her. He opened the door, stepping into her room. Since their parents never went into their rooms anymore, she had redecorated it. The pink walls were covered in drawings of green tentacles. The floor was filthy, with dirty clothes and torn drawings strewn about. Roman was surprised to see his sister awake, sketching a new tentacle drawing. “Thought you might show up.” She said, setting down her sketchpad. She patted part of the bed next to her. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

Roman hurried over, diving under the blankets. He shrieked as another clap of thunder hit. He felt a hand in his hair and tensed. The hand paused for a moment, before slowly rubbing Roman’s scalp. He relaxed, leaning into the touch. He always loved his sister, but he loved this version of her the most. When she realized that he was actually scared, not startled or mildly uncomfortable. She wouldn’t tease him or ask unnecessary questions. Sometimes she would twist together a tale from nothing, concocting a story of pain and hardship, of love and trust. Other times she wouldn’t speak, offering silent comfort and protection against the world around them. He sighed, finally drifting off to dreamless slumber. The last thing he knew before darkness took him was the press of her lips to his forehead as he drifted off. “Goodnight, Ro.”

Goodnight, Ree...

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“Ro, you gotta wake up!”

Roman woke up with a gasp, his chest heavy. He forced himself to breathe, shaking like a leaf. He felt a hand in his hair, and he immediately lunged, burying his face in her shoulder. He sobbed, listening to the gentle shushing sounds as he was rocked back and forth. He felt a second hand on his back, and he started babbling. “ReeRee, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve trusted you.”

“Oh, sweety.” Roman jerked up. Patton stared back, tears running down his cheeks. He felt the hand on his back retreat, and he grabbed it, bringing Logan closer. Patton’s hand pressed against his cheek, and Roman suddenly realized that he was crying.

“’m sorry.” He muttered, wiping his eyes.

“It’s okay, sweety.” Patton assured him, pulling Roman into a side hug. He felt Logan do the same on his left. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Roman shook his head, still feeling slightly despondent. “Okay. Do you wanna stay up and cuddle?” Roman nodded, sighing when he felt Patton’s fingers in his hair. In less than an hour, they would all drift back into a dreamless sleep. A few hours from now, they would each go to work, a cheerful facade in place. But for now, they stayed there, silent tears streaking down their faces. For Patton and Logan, it was for the pain their lover was going through. For Roman, it was for the sister that he had pushed away,

You said you would always be there to catch me, ReeRee. But I pushed you away. Now I’m so scared that I’ll fall again. What am I going to do without you there to catch me?

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-princess @artsy-enby09 @girl-who-reads @drarrymalecsolangelo @count-woe-laf @im-an-anxious-wreck @ent-is-undecisive

[teawithkpop]

[M] - PhysCom - Pt 3

pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - bc 1 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader

Rating: Mature [18+]

Length: 8.8k words

Genre: PhysCom AU - smut with dashes of angst, and a shitload of romance and complicated feelings,, uhuhu (porn with plot??)

Warnings: none for this chapter?? other than a boatload of angst and feelings and ahhhh holy shit wtf is going on

thank you all for being patient! ^^ I had a couple hiccups while writing this part, but thankfully I think everything is heading in the right direction now hehe~ hope you enjoy!

“I think we should go out there, and I should kiss you senseless, sweetheart.”

You stare at Namjoon, trying to calm your racing heart. He’s joking, right? He has got to be joking. Doling out kissing privileges is what got you into this mess in the first place. Stirring more jealousy into the pot probably won’t help things.

It takes a count of three before he laughs. “I’m kidding. Obviously.”

You squint at him. He didn’t sound like he was kidding. You glance down to button his jacket around you and notice that there’s a prominent tent in his pants.

Oh...

You smirk. “You sure you didn’t have any ulterior motives for that plan, Master Kim?” You tease him with the title and are pleased to see his cheeks flush when your head inclines ever so slightly towards his lap.

He coughs, clears his throat, straightens his tie. “Of course not.”

You can’t contain the grin on your face. “Really? Not a single, rock hard, reason?”

He readjusts his position, crossing his legs to hide the evidence of his arousal. “Nope.”

You laugh, and catch him grinning too.

“Okay, so maybe... it wasn’t the most objective plan,” he admits with a chuckle. If he’s trying to cheer you up, it’s working. You start to giggle and have to hold your sides as the laughter spills out, quickly turning delirious. A boner is such a preposterous thing to pretend to hide for the sake of manners when it’s your job to sexually satisfy them. Something about it just tickles an exhausted funny bone in you. “Sorry-” You burst into another fit of giggles, trying to catch your breath.

“Don’t apologize.” Namjoon says, his eyes smiling as few laughs slip out of him as well. He pets your hair while you catch your breath, his hand falling to your cheek, his eyes tender. “You look so sweet when you laugh.”

Your heart flutters. Kim Namjoon has the charm and charisma of a diplomat, but the kindness and consideration of a humanitarian. You don’t know how he manages to balance his professionalism with his personability, but he sure as hell manages it somehow. Your hand slips onto his knee and his thumb brushes your cheek, laughter still on the tips of your tongues. You feel like you're two kids on prom night, that same sort of silly sexual tension lingering between you.

He leans in, and your heart stops for a second, but his lips merely graze your forehead. He pulls back, his gaze clouded with something you can’t quite identify. “If you ever decide to add kissing to your list of services,” he says quietly, his gaze traveling over your face and down to your lips. “I’d like to be the first to know.”

You swallow. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you aren’t tempted to add it today, right now in fact, and plant one on him. But that would defeat the whole purpose of this discussion, so you somehow manage to resist the temptation.

His hand finds its way to your thigh, his eyes swirling with that indiscernible emotion, and you have to wonder if you're not the only one having to restrain yourself here.

"You'll be the first," you answer quietly, trapped under his mesmerizing gaze.

After a few agonizing moments of silence, he nods almost imperceptibly and pulls back with a smile, his hand retreating from your leg.

“Honestly,” he says, folding his hands in his lap. “I think the best solution is to talk it out with them.” It takes you a moment to realize he's returned to the matter at hand, talk of kissing you seemingly forgotten. “If you want me there, I’d be more than happy to mediate,” he offers, giving you a sidelong glance. “But if that doesn’t work, then maybe they’re not mature enough for the privilege of having you as a PhysCom.”

He shrugs, his tone and expression practical and professional. “I would recommend a suspension of your services for a few days. Remind them how much they really appreciate the work you do.”

You laugh at this option. “You want me to blue ball them?”

He chuckles wryly. “Well… consider it like discipline. If a kid isn’t treating their toys with respect, what do you do? You take away the toy and give them time to think about what they did.”

You look at him askance, surprised by his wisdom on the topic. “Since when did you know so much about raising kids?”

“I read a lot,” he replies cheekily.  “Anyway, we’d better get back out there before they start to speculate.” Namjoon stands, offering you a hand.

You take it, stand up, and start to shed his jacket, but he stops you. “Keep it on. It’s alright.” He moves the fabric back over your shoulders, his fingertips brushing your skin.

“Are you sure?” Your eyes meet his, and you can feel the tension in his gaze, ready to snap from the slightest tug.

He meets your eyes without hesitation. “I’m positive.” His gaze lingers on your lips again, and his hand brushes up from the jacket's collar to cup your neck. His thumb brushes softly along your jaw before he seems to remember himself. He pulls away with noticeable reluctance and goes to open the door. “Ladies first.”

You snort. “I’m not exactly a lady,” you reply, looking down at your nearly naked form, but you don’t argue with him and take the lead. He follows you out, shutting the door behind him.

------

The scene you return to in the dining room is unexpected. The dim, sensual lighting has been ruined by the regular lamps turned on in the corners of the room. Butlers and maids are cleaning up the table, and you count three less clients milling around than before.

It would seem the banquet is over.

"What happened?" You ask, hurrying over to Seokjin. "Where is everyone?"

He sighs and flashes you a weary smile. "I had to send Taehyung and Jimin to their rooms. They were... getting out of hand."

Yoongi snorts from across the table. "That's an understatement. Nearly started brawling. Don't know what the hell got into them."

Seokjin shoots him a warning glace. “Anyway, I thought it would be best to wrap things up for the evening.”

Your gaze darts around, checking who's still here. Jungkook, Yoongi, Seokjin, Namjoon, and... Hoseok? He's missing. "What about Master Jung?"

Yoongi's smirk fades and he looks down. "He said he wasn't feeling well. Asked to be excused."

Your stomach sinks. This is definitely your fault. Fuck, poor Hoseok. He’d been the one fucking you when you called your safe word, and you’d hate for him to think it was because of something he did. You want to run and go talk things out with him - with all of them, per Namjoon's suggestion, but your eyes catch on Jin again. His face is cast downward, a small frown on his face as he rolls a rose stem between his fingers forlornly.

You feel impossibly worse. Everything’s gone wrong. This was supposed to be his night to have you however he wants, and now the party's over before he even got to fuck you.

"Master Kim." You walk up beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling his attention away from the flower. "We can… take things back to your suite, if you wish." You look up at him sweetly, hoping you can at least try to make things right.

Jin shakes his head with a thin smile. "No, pet. You've been through enough tonight." He pets your hair and heaves another sigh. “You should get some rest.”

You look down to his pants and see a tent there similar to Namjoon’s. You touch his chest, sliding your hand down his stomach and towards his crotch. “But you-”

“No.” He takes a hold of your wrist before you can make contact where he needs it most. He takes a moment to breathe, the conflict of his wants and needs clear on his face. “No, you need some rest, my pet. It’s been a very busy evening.” He brings your hand up and holds it against his cheek instead. “You shouldn’t tax yourself.”

Your heart feels like it’s sunk below the floorboards, and you can’t keep the worry out of your eyes. None of them have ever turned you down like this before. Not when they’re hard. Not when this is your job.

“Master, I’m fine to do it, honestly. Besides... I can’t just leave you like this.” You say meaningfully, knowing that he would get in trouble if he takes care of the problem himself. He seems like he’s about to assure you when Yoongi pipes up again.

“Don’t worry about him. Another slut will take care of it tonight.”

What?

Seokjin’s jaw twitches and you sense he’s restraining himself from saying something. Did they talk about this while you were gone? “He’s right, darling.”

What the fuck.

“That’s what they’re there for, after all.”

What the fuck is happening.

“Don’t worry about me, just get some beauty sleep.”

What the actual fuck?

“You’ll feel better in the morning.” 

You wrench yourself out of Jin’s grasp, unable to believe what you’re hearing. Your head is spinning, lungs suddenly short of breath. This can’t be happening. Your career, your livelihood, their favoritism… all gone in one night. It’s only a matter of time now. The more they play with the other PhysComs - the fucking Secondaries - the less special you are in their eyes.

In one evening, you’ve become… exchangeable.

You grip the edge of the table, hands shaking as you start to see red.

“Darling?” Seokjin places a hand on your back, his eyes wide with concern. “Do you need some water? Some air?” 

You jerk away from him, your despair turning to rage. “I’m not some fucking flower! Okay? I said I’m fine!”

Jin looks startled. Namjoon comes over, his voice soothing. "Everything's alright, sweetheart. Let's get you to bed, okay?"

You wrench away from him too, stumbling back. "No! It's not fucking alright!" A heavy silence follows your outburst. All you can hear is your own labored breath. All their eyes are on you, wide with concern, and fear, and… pity.

You can't stand it, can't stand the way they're looking at you. Like their fuck toy is malfunctioning… You turn on your heel and dash out of the room, knocking into Jungkook in your haste. You push him aside, but not before your eyes meet and he can see the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You ignore them as they call after you, and you escape to your room for the second time that day.

-------

As you slam your door shut, you run over and flop onto the bed to cry into your pillow. Dramatic? Sure. Do you care? Not particularly. It’s not like anyone’s here to judge you and your pity party anyway.

Fuck, this is all wrong. How could things have gone so wrong so quickly?

This whole day has been a complete and utter mess, from the moment Taehyung had tried to kiss you. Or… maybe from the moment you let it happen.

You squeeze your eyes shut, replaying every agonizing moment up until now. The kissing, the feelings, the tension at dinner, the moment you broke... fuck, that one hurt.

But being replaced... that hurts even more.

You sob for a good long while, not caring if anyone could hear you. You just need to get it out, god you haven’t cried in so long. Once it’s out of your system, you’ll be back to normal, ready to fuck at a moment’s notice like always.

But then again, you’ve only been employed for six months. Is this just what happens after a while? Do PhysComs just… break? Is that why the job has such a high turnover?

Well, if that’s the case, then you’re screwed. You might as well start begging on the street now. Sure the money you’ve earned so far is enough to float you through for a little while, but without another job to replace this one, it won’t last for very long.

Being a PhysCom is everything you’ve trained for, everything you’ve ever wanted. Without it, you’re nothing. You have no identity outside of your training, no skill set outside of pleasuring others, no prospects… no hope.

Would your family take you back in?

You know the answer immediately. No, no they wouldn’t. Not after what you did to them.

You have no friends aside from the other people you trained with, but you’ve long since lost contact with them, any ties to them were cut once you were hired and shipped off here.

Could you get another job? Highly unlikely.

Once someone becomes a PhysCom, the position is recorded on their government file, branding them for life as a personal sex worker. Random day jobs don’t hire people who were previously fuck toys, it reflects badly on their brand. New employers for PhysComs scrutinize previous positions mercilessly. Any criticism or stain on your performance record will put you out of the running in favor of someone just out of training. No one wants to take leftovers when there’s so much fresh meat on the market.

You have no plan B. Your life is ruined, crumbling apart before your very eyes.

Your ComGear buzzes incessantly, but you ignore it. They can message you all you want, you’re done for today. If they want to get off so badly, they can go find some Secondaries. Clearly, that’s the best solution while you’re here agonizing over your career and ‘getting some beauty sleep’, as Seokijn put it. Ugh.

Now would be the perfect time to masturbate and relieve some of this anger and stress. If only you could actually orgasm.

It’s only then that you see the envelope sitting at the bottom of your door. You hadn’t noticed it before, someone must have slipped it inside at some point.

You crawl off your bed with a sniff, your eyes still puffy from crying so much. It’s a small yellow envelope with your name on it. You open it, unfolding a piece of paper, creased in half to fit inside.

I’m sorry things got out of hand. I hope you can forgive me. - Hoseok ♡

The fact that he sent you a note instead of a text makes your heart feel funny. God, the world doesn’t deserve someone as good as Hoseok.

That’s it. Fuck your beauty sleep. You’ve made up your mind. You’re going to set at least one thing right from this trainwreck of an evening, and you won’t sleep until you do.

You throw on a bathrobe and peek out into the hallway outside your room, but thankfully you see no one. It doesn’t take you long to tiptoe to Hoseok’s room, and before long, you’re knocking softly on his door, the note clutched in your hand.

There’s no answer, and you worry for a moment that he might have already gone to bed. But soon the door creaks open, and Hoseok peers out. He looks awful, hair a wreck, dress shirt rumpled with a few buttons undone, and his eyes are puffy. Had he been crying, too?

“Oh,” He looks both panicked and relieved to see you. “Hi... um, listen about earlier-”

You shake your head and give him a half-smile, holding up the note as evidence. “You already apologized.”

“No, but I-” He stops, sighs, and opens his door all the way, rubbing the back of his neck. “Here, come inside. I want to talk to you.”

“Me too.” You fold your arms around yourself and go in, looking at him imploringly as he shuts the door behind you. “Master Jung, I didn’t use my safe word tonight because of anything you did. I want you to know that.”

He shakes his head, showing you a sad smile. “You don’t have to lie to me. I was the only one doing anything to you.”

Your eyebrows knit together in concern. Fuck. He does blame himself.

“Honestly, I was just… distracted. I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, so I wasn’t-”

“That’s exactly the problem.” He interrupts you with a stormy expression, and your eyes widen. He huffs. “I wasn’t considering your feelings.”

You blink in surprise. Your what now?

“I just… didn’t question Jin-hyung’s orders. Even though Jimin was reluctant to do it. I should’ve realized something wasn’t right, that you weren’t feeling up to it. I shouldn’t have let my dick do the thinking.” He looks to the floor, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I’m really sorry.”

Your mouth hangs agape. He’s talking as if this is about your whims. As if you have a say in the work you’ve already signed up for, as stated by your contract. Like having sex is negotiable.

“Hoseok…” You say his name without thinking, and his wide-eyed gaze snaps up to meet yours. “I think there’s a misunderstanding here.”

He nods. “Yeah, there is. A big fucking misunderstanding,” he laughs ruefully. “I misunderstood your place here with us. I realized tonight that… I had started seeing you as just a sex toy.”

You simply state the truth. “But that’s what I am.”

“No! You’re not!” You flinch as he shouts, his hands flying into the air. He grabs you by the arms, his eyes full of despair and regret. “You’re a human being, with thoughts and emotions and…” He realizes that he’s gripping you and hastily releases his hold. “Sorry.” He murmurs, sighing as he goes to sit down on his bed, head in his hands.

You’re a little shaken up by his passion. Why does he suddenly care about your thoughts and emotions? He should care about your feelings about as much as he cares about the feelings of their toaster oven. By the industries standards, you’re a fuck doll, nothing more. You’re not even supposed to have feelings, at least not when you’re on the job.

But… technically, right now… you’re done for the day. Off the clock.

You feel bad letting him stew in his little pit of blame, and you join him on the bed, sitting beside him. “It’s not your fault,” you reiterate. “If I really wasn’t feeling up to it, I should have taken the evening off."

Although you would never willingly do such a thing, it’s not uncommon for three or four PhysComs to be on the job for a group simultaneously, in case any of them are under the weather, or too tired to perform well.

Yours is a unique case, tackling all seven members’ pleasure single-handedly. You wouldn’t have been permitted to take on such a challenge had you not received such glowing reviews from your trainers. You’ve finally achieved what you had been working towards all that time.

Of course, now you might be at risk of losing everything.

“It was all a… stupid accident.” You might be thinking of more than just what happened at dinner, but Hoseok doesn’t need to know that.

He glances at you, still looking remorseful.

You get an idea. Why not play to your strengths? It can only benefit you to remind as many members as possible why you’re their Primary.

“You know, they say the best way to get over an accident… is to get back in the saddle.” You murmur, reaching your fingers out to graze his thigh. “Do you want to have a do-over, cowboy?”

His expression grows more concerned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Fuck no. But you’re not sure of anything recently. “It can’t hurt, right?”

Hoseok looks conflicted. He doesn’t take your hand off his leg, but you aren’t about to advance further without confirmation. He studies your face, searching for something. “Do you even want to?”

You blink. Why is everyone suddenly asking for your consent? It’s implied. You signed a contract. That’s like asking to eat the food on your plate. “It doesn’t matter what I want, master.”

“Well, it matters to me.” His voice wavers as he reaches up to touch your cheek. “Your feelings matter to me. I don’t want to think of you as some mindless sex doll, because you’re not.”

His unexpected words strike right through your heart, leaving you raw and vulnerable.

“You may act like one, but you’re not. You’re a person.” He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, and I don’t ever want you to be uncomfortable again.”

You stare at him, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. What the hell is he saying?

“Starting now, I will never have sex with you unless you want to, okay? That’s a promise.” His eyes are like melted caramel, soft and warm and sweet, as he leans closer and starts kissing your neck. His lips are soft, apologetic. Whispering praises and apologies while his hand caresses your waist.

The stutter in your heartbeat means nothing. His words mean nothing. They don’t make any sense. Your pleasure doesn’t factor into the equation.

He can’t just do this, can’t just treat you like he cares about more than your body. He can’t cater to your deepest fantasies like this. It’s cruel.

“Hoseok,” your breath catches as he nips gently at your neck. “Master Jung-”

“I like Hoseok better. Or Hobi…” he murmurs, pulling the collar of your bathrobe aside to trail kisses along your shoulder.

“Hoseok,” you try again, a little more strength in your tone, despite how weak you feel with his lips on you like this. “This isn’t right.”

“Do you want me to stop? I will,” he says, lips hovering just above your skin.

No. No, you don’t want him to stop, says a part of your brain, the part that’s been dreaming about situations like this. Being held, being kissed, being loved… But the rest of your brain knows that you can’t risk it.

“You can do whatever you want to me. That’s the point,” you reply feebly. You’re not sure how else to get your message across, since he seems to have batted away your usual arguments. “I exist for your pleasure.”

“Well, what if I exist for yours, hm?” He smirks, pulling back to look at you. “What if I take care of you when you take care of me?”

Your eyes widen. Reciprocation goes against your entire job description, and besides, it’s pointless. He has to know that he’s breaking the rules, but he doesn’t seem to care at all.

His hand cups your jaw, his thumb running gently along your cheek. “You deserve so much more than being treated like a toy.”

You’re stunned into silence. Everything he’s saying is wrong.

But is it bad? Would it be so bad to let him take care of you, to let him appreciate you, if that’s what he truly wants?

“I exist for your pleasure… whatever form that may take.” You hesitantly reiterate the rules, if for no other reason than to clear your conscience. “If it’s what you want, then go ahead.”

He shakes his head. “Nope, sorry. It has to be something you want.” He smiles and leans closer, his eyes searching your face. “Do you want me, baby? Just be honest. Be yourself tonight.”

God damn it. You try to look away, but he gently turns your cheek back to face him. You can’t resist him. He gives you a warmth you haven’t known in ages, filling up every crack and crevice in your heart, and you desperately miss it, aching for the sensation of being wanted by someone… of being worthy.

Your willpower is dwindling. You can feel your breaking point approaching. Fuck it, if they might replace you anyway, what’s the worst that could happen?

You close your eyes, steeling yourself to let your walls down and to keep them down, at least for this little while. You inhale deeply, almost holding your breath.

“I want you, Hoseok.”

The truth comes out as merely a whisper, but once you start you can’t stop, the dam already broken. “I want you, god I want you so much, I-”

Soft lips cover your own. Oh… he’s tender and passionate all at once. His hands are greedy, unable to get enough of you, and yet they’re reverent, considerate, floating over your body and touching your face like you’re something important. Like you’re special to him.

It goes against every fiber of your being, every hour of your years of training, but fuck… it feels so good to be able to kiss him like this, with no inhibitions. He pulls you onto his lap, deepening the kiss as his hands grip your ass, pushing up the hem of your robe to really feel you.

You forget, in this moment, that he’s your client, and you wind your hands up and around the back of his neck, playing with his hair and humming into his sweet, soft lips. Everything about Hoseok feels warm, and sweet, and right. Shit, why does this feel so right?

“Good girl…” His tongue slips into your mouth and starts teasing yours, licking into your wet cavern while his hands wander over your body. He peels off your robe, slowly exposing your skin to his blissful hands and they rub and trace every curve and contour.

You can feel the smile on his lips as he glides his hands up your body. One stays on your ass, kneading the soft flesh while his other comes up to ghost over your breast, his thumb circling over your nipple with a languid motion. He’s in no rush. This isn’t a quick fuck, this is… something else, and the thrill of the unknown has you leaning into his touch, desperate to discover more.

He breaks away from your lips for air, leaning down to mouth at your other tit instead, causing you to whimper. “You’re so beautiful…” he murmurs, sucking on the sensitive bud while his hand gropes at the other side, pinching and rolling your nipple in his fingers.

You gasp at the blissful sensation, but a looming sense of dread grows as he continues, as you know his hard work won’t lead anywhere, and soon will follow the inevitable frustration of not being able to climax. The first cloud on the spotless horizon of your little tryst. 

“Hoseok…” you moan his name, rolling your hips into his lap, where you can feel his cock through his pants. “Let me do you now.” 

“Tonight’s not about me,” He doesn’t let up on his barrage of pleasure, smirking against your skin. “When was the last time you came, sweetness?”

You swallow. Shit, this wasn’t a good idea, was it?

“I… I can’t wait. Fuck me now, please...” You whine the excuse, grinding your bare pussy against his crotch. You remember what he said about doing what you desire. “I want you to fuck me, please…” Your voice drips with a very real desperation as your pleasure starts to reach its plateau.

He pulls back and chuckles. “Already? You sure you don’t want me to eat out that pretty pussy of yours? I could make you feel so good…” His tongue darts out to trace around his lips, and he slips the hand from your ass around to your front, testing how wet you are. “Fuck, I want to taste you so badly. Make you cum on my tongue, baby.”

You shake your head involuntarily, eyes wide and your cheeks turning red.

Heoseok smirks, mistaking your worry for shyness. “Aww, baby…” He kisses you again, rocking his hips up to meet yours. “It’s okay. I know this must be a big change for you.” He chuckles and scoots himself back onto the bed with you still in his lap, and you move to straddle him. “We can work up to it next time, okay?”

Next time?

You don’t have time to worry about such a troublesome prospect, as Hoseok wastes no time, fishing his cock out of his pants and lining himself up with your entrance, still fully clothed. “You ready, baby?” He leans in to kiss you again, and when you nod, he pushes slowly inside you. Hoseok’s cock is long and lithe, just like him, and it’s always able to reach your farthest corners. His stamina is also through the roof, probably from all that dancing, and whenever he plays with you, he often leaves you feeling fucked silly by the end of it. You prepare yourself for another such dizzying experience.

“Ah, fuck... “ He takes his time to sheath himself fully inside you, using the moment to feel every crevice of your walls, his cock throbbing from the sensation. You squeeze your walls around him, expecting him to start fucking you roughly any minute.

Instead his hands glide over your back, down to your ass again as he holds you almost supportively. You whine and buck desperately against his hips, but he stills your movement, silencing any complaints with another tongue-filled kiss. He takes his sweet time moving in and out of you, reaching deep inside of you with every thrust as his moans vibrate against your lips, the wet sounds of sex filling the otherwise silent room.

For some reason, your senses are heightened by his slow pace, and it feels even more intense than some of your roughest sessions. Every little twitch and rub of his hard cock into your sopping entrance has tingles of pleasure shivering up your spine, your heart racing even though he’s barely done anything. You arch your back, moaning into his mouth as he hits a particularly good angle.

He notices and adjusts his position, soon finding a lazy, easy pace to slide in and out of you, as if he has all the time in the world, and he wants to spend as much of it joined with you as possible.

“So fucking beautiful…” His voice is hoarse, thickly laced with something you can’t explain. He lays back onto the bed, pulling you with him, chest to chest, and continues to kiss you like he can’t get enough. You start to bounce on his cock, but his hands still grip you firmly at your hips, controlling the pace.

You groan at his agonizing slowness, but it feels so good, you can’t really complain. Shit, why didn’t they ask for this kind of sex more often? It feels incredible, like… like softcore porn. It’s… emotional, and raw, and deep. You feel like he’s touching your very soul with every stroke inside the furthest reaches of your core.

“Fuck, H-Hoseok…” you whimper, each languid push of his body has you trembling, aching for more. What is happening? You’ve never felt this before, this ache, this desire to keep him deep within your walls, forever sharing kisses and sweet touches.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he murmurs softly, supporting your back as he pushes even deeper with a groan. “You’re safe with me.”

You shudder and lean into him, and a memory from your training days comes to the surface.

“Never trust your client.” Madame paces in front of the class, her eyes scanning each girls’ face. “They will only betray you in the end.”

This is one of many talks Madame likes to have with her class, explaining not only the official rules, but also the practical ones. The things no one but other PhysComs would think to discuss.

“You are your own representative in their house. An independent contractor. Never let yourself be vulnerable around them.” Madame’s voice is strong and clear, full of intention.

Her eyes fall to your face, her gaze full of burning embers.

“Don’t fall for their guises of kindness.”

You gasp as Hoseok flips you two over, laying you gently onto the bed as he trails kisses up your body between murmured praises. “Fuck, baby… You’re so beautiful...”

You shudder, writhing beneath him as he lines himself up with your entrance again.

“Does it feel good, baby? Tell me.” He smiles brightly and leans down to kiss your neck, clearly pleased with his progress as he rubs his tip through your slick folds, eliciting another whimper from you. “I want to make you feel so good…”

“F-feels…”  Your voice trails off as you come upon a moment of clarity. What are you doing? How did you get into such a predicament? “Hoseok. This isn’t right.”

He stops, pulls back enough to look at you. “What’s not right, baby? I’ll fix it.”

You huff out a laugh, already feeling your stomach start to sink. “Why are you doing this?”

He looks confused. “Because I want to make you feel good.”

“No. No you don’t, because that’s not part of our arrangement,” you explain, looking up at his stunningly handsome face. A part of your heart hurts just looking at him, knowing he can never be yours.

“Well… maybe we can make a new arrangement,” he says quietly, the confidence in his eyes wavering.

You feel bad bringing the harsh truth into this when he’s worked so hard to live out this little fantasy with you, but you must. You can’t stay in this bed, in this daydream, forever. You know from experience, it’s best to rip the bandaid off, make sure he knows that this can’t be seen as anything more than indulgence and a lack of self control on your part.

 “Hobi, you don’t even know my name.” You look at him somberly, and as his face falls, you find yourself wishing the two of you were in a different world, living different lives, where you could let him kiss you and hold you and fuck you like this and not feel guilty about it. Your eyes fall downward, stewing in regret. Fuck, this would’ve hurt a lot less if you hadn’t given in and let him take your heart so easily.

You start to get up from the bed, but strong arms pull you back in, hugging you from behind.

“Hoseok.” Your tone is that of reprimanding a child. You have to be the responsible one here. It’s not his job to make sure you’re following the rules. “I should go.”

“I may not know your name, but I know you.” His voice is tender and soft, like sweet caramel, and he buries his face into the crook of your neck. “I’ve lived with you for six months, and they’ve been the best time of my life…” He plants soft kisses on your neck. “You make me happy.”

You feel numb. Why is he saying this? Doesn’t he realize how hard he’s making it to rip off this stupid bandaid?

He keeps kissing your skin, his hands skimming over your stomach and thighs. “Please…” he whispers, kissing and nibbling the shell of your ear. “Please stay with me. Just for tonight.”

Fuck. Fuck your weak heart. He can’t do this to you.

“Hobi… there are rules, I can’t just-”

“Forget the rules for a second. Do you want to stay?” He pauses his affection to give you a moment to think, and you find yourself wishing he’d continue.

Well, there’s your answer then. If there were no rules… you’d stay in this bed with him for as long as he’d let you. But you can’t bring yourself to say it. Your tongue, your lips… they won’t move, frozen in fear of the truth buried deep in your heart.

He must be able to sense your inner struggle, because his hands resume caressing and squeezing your body reassuringly. “Either way, I won’t tell anyone what happened, okay? Tonight is off the record.”

It’s those words, those stupid, considerate words, that have your paper-thin resolve crumpling once more.

You turn around in his arms, cup his jaw, and kiss him deeply, fully, your heart racing from the act of rebellion. He makes a small noise of surprise, but quickly reciprocates, a smile tugging at his lips. You exchange sloppy, heated kisses with him for several moments, basking in his natural warmth, before he pulls away.

“So… I’ll take that as a yes?” He smirks, his eyes dancing with playful affection.

You let out a laugh in spite of yourself. “Yes,” you sigh, shoving out all your worries and fears. Despite the warnings of your training days, you trust Hoseok. You have no reason not to do so. He’s shown you nothing but kindness and understanding.

He looks overjoyed at your reply, and kisses your once more, giddy and laughing throughout all of his tender little pecks. “But if you change your mind, you tell me. Alright, princess?” He coos, petting your cheek.

You nod, shy from his shower of affection.

He grins and repositions the two of you so he’s hovering above you again, and starts to unbutton his shirt. “Now, where were we?”

You blush as he exposes his smooth chest and sheds his shirt, tossing it aside. Even though you’ve seen him naked before, this feels more private somehow… almost intimate. Like he’s doing it exclusively for your benefit.

“Mm… we can stay like this all night long.” He leans down and kisses you again, taking your hand and guiding it to his chest, encouraging you to touch him. He then trails his lips down your neck and over your breasts before pausing again. “Oh, and um… do you mind telling me your name, baby?”

You blink in surprise. “Why?”

Hoseok lines himself up with your entrance, slowly starting to fuck you again, and he pulls back enough to look at you. He touches his forehead to yours, a sheepish grin on his face while he slides in and out of you, blissfully filling you up again and again.

“I want to know what name I should be moaning when I cum tonight.”

-------

Sunlight streams through the window, and you roll over to avoid it. You're too wrapped up in fantasies and dreams, and oh… wait, was last night a dream? Your heart sinks. There's no warm body next to yours. No trace of any evidence.

Maybe it’s better this way. It was a delicious dream, and you’ll file it away with the others you’ve had. Your career still needs some damage control, but at least you won’t have to deal with rebuilding your dignity after a night of misdemeanors. 

You prop up on your elbows, blinking the sleep out of your eyes and your heart stops at what you see. Hoseok's room. You're in Hoseok's room.

Well, shit… that's evidence if you ever saw it. Right? But where's Hoseok?

As if summoned by your thoughts, the boy appears from his en-suite bathroom, rubbing a towel through his hair.

The sight makes you inexplicably shy, and you bury back beneath the covers, as if to hide yourself from view. You hear him chuckle.

"Morning, princess."

You hunker down and hide even more, your heart racing. What the hell is wrong with you? You're a professional sex worker. Sex workers do not get shy the morning after.

The covers are lifted from you, revealing your face, and soft lips touch your own before you can object. "I had a great time. Did you?"

You stare up at him, looking like a Greek god in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, the one from his hair now slung around his shoulders. He’s effortlessly sexy and it’s totally unfair.

You pull your knees up to your chest, biting your lip warily. “Hoseok… about last night. What… what was that?”

He looks mildly confused, but still smiles and sits beside you, gently running his hand up and down your leg. “What do you mean?”

You look away from him. He’s too sweet, too bright for the grave clarity and turmoil seeping into your system with the arrival of the morning. “The sex. It felt… different.”

If anything, his grin grows wider. “Really? How so?” If you didn’t know better, you’d say he looks smug right now.

“I don’t know. It was like… you were filling up my whole body, not just my cunt. I felt it all over, inside and outside. It was… really good.” You mumble out the last few words, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s practically beaming now. “Is there a word for that? What do you call that?”

Hoseok’s finger hooks under your chin, gently turning your head to face him. His eyes are warm and sparkling with humor, as if you just made a joke and didn’t realize it.

“I would call that making love,” he says softly, a hint of cheek in his tone.

Your mouth parts in shock as you recognize the truth of his analysis. “Making love?” You echo softly.

He nods with a chuckle and leans in to kiss you, his thumb stroking your cheek. “It’s like sex, but with feelings,” he explains, his eyes full of adoration as he looks at you. “Was it alright?”

It’s only as he asks you this that you realize why it felt so different.

He hadn’t given you a single command last night.

You’d had sex with him without being commanded to do it. It had just been a… mutual desire. You feel dizzy at the realization. That constitutes an explicit violation of your contract. If anyone finds out, you’ll be fired for sure.

You’re short of breath, panic taking over as the world seems to spiral around you. Hoseok’s eyes widen and he holds you steadily, pulling you into his strong arms.

“Whoa, whoa. It’s okay, w-what’s wrong?” He sounds concerned as he pets your hair, letting you rest your chin on his shoulder. “Was it… not alright?”

You shake your head, desperately trying to keep your tears at bay. The last thing you need is for him to see you cry. All your training, all your effort to get this job, your career, your livelihood, it’s all disappearing, leaving you with nothing but failure on the horizon.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asks again, gently coaxing you to speak.

You inhale shakily. Hoseok is too good for this. He’d be an amazing boyfriend. He deserves an actual girl to hold who can love him the way he deserves. One who doesn’t have rules to follow and boundaries to keep. A girl who can fully give herself to him and make love with him whenever he wants. Whenever they both want. Because that’s a real relationship.

Not this. Not like what you have. You and Hoseok… you can never be like that.

Because you’re just his Physical Companion.

All of his kindness, his gentleness, it’s all wasted on you. You don’t deserve it.

“This can’t happen again.” It’s all you can manage to say.

He’s silent for a moment, rubbing your back while your breathing slowly returns to normal. “Okay,” he says softly. He doesn’t ask any questions, he doesn’t fly into a rage, he just accepts your decision, and that makes you feel even more torn. He really deserves better than this.

“But if you ever want it to happen again,” He pulls back enough to look you in the eyes, and wipes a single tear off your cheek before it can fall. “You know where to find me. Just say the word.”

He looks at you and gives you a small smile. His eyes hold more heartbreak and empathy than you thought possible, and he whispers your name just once before bestowing one last, sweet kiss to your lips.

“Come on,” he says gently, standing up and starting to get dressed. “I’ll walk you back to your room.”

-------

You feel strange as you enter your room once again, everything exactly the way you left it. Hoseok had given you a kiss on the cheek before heading downstairs to get breakfast, humming a tune to himself, like nothing at all had happened.

Maybe he was pretending for your sake, or maybe last night didn’t really mean that much to him. You shake that thought away as impossible. Not even the most skilled actors could fake the level of intimacy Hoseok showed you last night.

You sigh and head over to your bed, sitting down to process the events of the past twenty-four hours. You slept with a client outside of working hours. He made love to you. But you liked it. It felt amazing. But now you might lose your job. You feel guilty for not being able to make love to him, even though it’s a ridiculous notion in and of itself. But you broke your contract, so do the rules even matter any more?

You’re uncertain, you’re scared, but also strangely excited... liberated. You wish you had a friend or maybe even a therapist to talk to, just so you can sort all this out and get a game plan together.

Your ComGear buzzes again from your night table, and you realize it’s been going off for a while. Are they really messaging you this early?

You pick up the slim device and swipe the screen up, expecting to find many missed notifications. Instead what greets you is something utterly different.

An unfamiliar purple screen, with an empty text box in the center and a question above it.

Cardinal Rule?

Consent. The answer comes immediately, drilled into you by Madame from your training days, and you type it into the text box. A green check mark appears next to the box, and suddenly a new screen is there, successfully unlocked.

It’s a chatroom, with messages from lots of strange usernames, occasionally bumped upward by new messages. It’s active.

What the fuck?

You look a little closer and start reading the texts.

[ PCsv01_svt  ]: yeah, it’s not fair at all lol [ PCsv03_twc ]: i’m so jealous TT [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: can u send more?? ur both so cute!! [ PCsv02_svt  ]: sure! hang on ^^

A few photos appear in the next message from them. The same couple is pictured in each one, making various cute poses together, kissing each other... 

You recognize the girl.

“Sascha...?” You whisper, your heart stopping as you cover your mouth. The sight of your old friend has tears springing to your eyes. You thought you’d never see her again.

But why is she in these photos? Who is she with? Who the fuck are all these people? What the hell is going on?

[ PCsv01_svt  ]: guys hang on [ PCsv01_svt  ]: pc for bts is here [ PCsv02_svt  ]: wait for real?! [ PCsv02_svt  ]: finally!! [ PCsv02_svt  ]: GIRL HOW ARE YOU [ PCsv02_svt  ]: it’s me sascha!! ^^ [ PCsv09_$px ]: glad you made it.. [ PCsv04_blp  ]: hi there [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: eyyyyy how’s it goin?

You stare in confusion and fear at the messages. Could that actually be Sascha? How is this possible?

You slowly type out a message, your curiosity overpowering your fear, and hit send before you can stop yourself.

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: what the fuck is going on [ PCsv01_bts  ]: what is this place

A reply comes quickly.

[ PCsv01_svt  ]: this is the private network for physcoms [ PCsv01_svt  ]: it’s inaccessible to anyone but us [ PCsv02_svt  ]: don’t worry! it’s safe here ^^ [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: welcome to the dark web babes B) I’m blake

Your palms are sweating. Dark web? Private network?

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: what do you mean? that’s impossible [ PCsv01_bts  ]: who set this up?? [ PCsv03_mtx ]: I know it sounds fake but this is legit [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: ur mom did lol [ PCsv02_svt  ]: Madame did! and other pc trainers~

You try to make sense of it. Another memory surfaces, one from your very first week at training. You had collapsed during basic stamina extensions trying to get the best score and outdo your classmates, and Madame had called you and your fellow trainees together for a talk...

“Girls. We are independant, yes. We are strong, yes.” Madame’s gaze sweeps across the worn out faces, her own expression steely, with an underlying kindness. Madame is strict, but only because she knows it’s what’s best for all of you.

“We must always rely on ourselves in this business,” she continues. “But also on each other.” 

“You are all in the same boat together. We PhysComs are the belittled backbone of society. Needed, but kept hidden. Brushed aside when it comes to our own needs. No one is on our side… except our fellow sex workers.” Her gaze drops to the floor for a moment, and the room is utterly silent while she collects her thoughts.

She turns her gaze to you, as if appraising your behavior. “I believe you all have the potential to be the best workers in the industry. But you won’t get there on your own.”

You swallow, but meet her gaze with determination.

She gives the slightest huff at your boldness, her gaze scanning the crowd again. “Stick together. Help each other succeed. You’ll find it’s much better that way.”

At the time, you thought she meant supporting each other during training. But… could this be what she was hinting at? A PhysCom support group?

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: Madame did this? [ PCsv06_ast  ]: lots of people contributed~ [ PCsv02_svt  ]: yup! micha is here too!! ^^ [ PCsv03_mtx ]: that would be me :) how’ve you been?

Micha? Another trainee from your group. You didn’t talk to her as much, but you remember she was cool and friendly. How could this be happening? What does all of this mean?

A thought occurs to you and a flash of fear hits your stomach. What if this is a setup? A ploy by your network to scope out rulebreakers - of which you are now one.

Fuck. How can you be sure this is real?

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: I… don’t trust this [ PCsv03_mtx ]: I didn’t at first either but it’s cool [ PCsv01_svt  ]: I understand your hesitation [ PCsv01_svt  ]: but this network is completely detached from your old one [ PCsv01_svt  ]: you’re off the grid [ PCsv02_svt  ]: connecting to the network also jailbreaks your gear!! you can use it like a phone now ^^

Wait, what? You tap back to your home screen. It looks like the boys’ phones. Instead of a handful of apps only approved by your network, you now have an app store, web browser, camera app, and standard phone and messaging apps instead of the restricted ones from before.

Holy shit.

You tap back into the chatroom, typing another message.

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: who are all of you? [ PCsv01_svt  ]: we’re PhysComs just like you [ PCsv01_svt  ]: I’m Antione [ PCsv06_ast  ]: hi~ nice to meet you! [ PCsv06_ast  ]: my name’s aashi hehe

This is all too much to take in. These are all other PhysComs?

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: how did I get here? [ PCsv01_svt  ]: you were playing solitaire, right? [ PCsv01_svt  ]: used the find your friends option? [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: boom that’s how you got here babes B) [ PCsv01_bts  ]: that… doesn’t make any sense [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: doesn’t have to, ur here now lol [ PCsv02_svt  ]: think about it! what do you do when you need help? find your friends! ^^

So… a solitaire app is the gateway to the PhysCom dark web? You shake your head, trying to wrap your mind around the absurdity. You feel like you’re in a weird dream.

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: this is… bizarre [ PCsv01_bts  ]: sascha… who was in those pictures? [ PCsv02_svt  ]: oh! that’s Josh~ he’s my client <3 [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: and her boyyyfrieeend lolol [ PCsv02_svt  ]: yeah hehe ^///^ my adorable namchin~~

Um… what?

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: wait wtf [ PCsv01_bts  ]: client?? boyfriend?? [ PCsv01_bts  ]: which is he? [ PCsv02_svt  ]: both… <3

Your eyes are glued to the screen, your heart racing. This isn’t possible. Sascha is… dating her client? She can’t be. That’s not allowed. She’ll be fired.

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: you can��t do that sach! you’ll lose your job... [ PCsv02_svt  ]: aww no I won’t honey~ it’s okay [ PCsv02_svt  ]: we’re all dating clients! ^^ [ PCsv06_ast  ]: well.. most of us haha [ PCsv09_$px ]: not all of us are that lucky... [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: some of us are dating multiple clients ;) [ PCsv01_svt  ]: happens all the time

What sort of alternate reality have you stumbled upon…?

[ PCsv01_bts  ]: um how are you not all fired? [ PCsv01_gt7  ]: ummmm bc they want to date us too?? Lol [ PCsv01_svt  ]: since we’re all disconnected, the only real risk is if the client informs their company of the relationship [ PCsv02_svt  ]: but Joshie would never do that! he wants to be with me, even if it’s in secret <3 [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: she got him whipped lol [ PCsv02_svt  ]: yeah... I do ^^ hehe [ PCsv01_svt  ]: as long as feelings are reciprocated, being fired is almost impossible

This is either a trap, or they’re all crazy. They can’t just date their clients, it goes against every rule in the book. And yet...  you sense a glimmer of hope in spite of yourself. If they can do it, then why can’t you?

Your thoughts are interrupted by a sudden knock on your door and you nearly jump out of your skin. You shove your ComGear under your pillow and rush to go answer it, your heart beating out of your chest and cheeks flushed from your rebellious activities.

You try to tame your hair and take a deep breath before answering the door, your brain still whirring in an attempt to make sense of all that you just read.

Jimin and Taehyung stand outside, both looking embarrassed. Taehyung gives you a small smile.

“Morning, jagiya. Do you have a minute?”

[nerdypanda3126]

It’s Complicated - Ch. 8

Read on Ao3 Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 9

Chapter 8: Serged Seam

When Marinette opens the window to let him in, he notices a few things before his boots even hit the floor. First, Luka’s hoodie is hung over the back of her desk chair. Second, there’s a small pile of knick knacks clearly made by Marinette’s hands arranged on the floor in a haphazard half circle. And third, the chest in the corner of her room that’s always closed when he comes to visit has the lid wide open. He steps over the pile to crouch in the epicenter.

Marinette hasn’t said anything, which is strange. She’s frozen by the window, watching him. His attention is drawn to a spot of sky blue in front of him. He picks up the mittens gingerly, rubbing the knitted fabric between his thumb and forefinger. It matches his scarf exactly. He has no way to ask her without revealing his identity. But he really doesn’t have to. He remembers complaining to Nino that his hands were always cold because he couldn’t find any gloves to match the scarf. At the time, he couldn’t figure out why Alya had nudged Marinette’s ribs with her elbow. Why Marinette had smiled back at her, blushing, before she noticed him watching and hid her face behind her hands.

Marinette made him his favorite scarf. Let him believe it was from his father. Made these mittens for him and never said anything. He sets them back down on the floor, touching the other items in turn until he gets to something that looks a lot like the beret from his fan club in Brazil. The one Ladybug had delivered. Was that actually from Marinette, too? Had she been making him these special things in secret? 

He looks up and Marinette is still standing by the open window, but when his eyes catch on hers, she squeaks and goes the brightest shade of red he’s ever seen.

“Marinette?”

She presses her hands over her face. He turns instead to the chest behind him, which must be the source of these treasures he’s found. He catches a glimpse of a pile of different objects before Marinette crosses the room in a few strides to shut the lid resolutely. She won’t look at him.

He stands from his crouch and takes a tentative step forward. Her breath catches when he reaches down to take her hand off the lid before he opens it again. She doesn’t stop him, but she fidgets nervously off to the side.

Inside the chest, there are enough gifts that Marinette could easily give one a day for months. Little things, but clearly thoughtfully made. His eyes bounce around, catching mostly on things he knows he’s thought about aloud before. Marinette thinks about Adrien enough to make things for him in her spare time. She holds onto them, though. Why? Why doesn’t she want him to know how much she cares for him? Doesn’t she know what that would mean to him? Doesn’t she know how much he cares for her?

His knees give out underneath him and he sits on the chaise behind him, holding a hand to his racing heart. Memories start rushing back to him, flooded with a new light. Dancing with her at Chloe’s party, fencing with her the day he met Kagami, chasing after her at the ice rink, letting her sleep on his shoulder on the train to London.

How could he have been such an idiot. Plagg had been right the first day he met Marinette. Plagg had been right at the ice rink. Plagg had known the entire time. Marinette has always been more than a friend to him.

“Chat? Are you okay?”

No, no he’s not. He feels like he’s been hit with a truck. He can’t seem to catch his breath. He’s in love with Marinette. Force to be reckoned with, amazing designer, class president, everyday Ladybug, Marinette.

He glances again at the open chest and tucked into the corner, covered loosely with some scrap fabric, is something red. Something red with black spots. Something he’s only seen once before in Ladybug’s hands. He stands again to reach for it. It’s not possible. There’s no way he’s that lucky.

He cradles the Miracle Box between his hands and dares to look at her again. Her freckles are stark against how white she’s gone.

“This belongs to Ladybug,” he says quietly. He already knows the answer to his next question, but he needs to hear her say it. “Why do you have this?”

She hesitates, wringing her hands together. “You weren’t supposed to see that,” she finally manages to mutter, and she tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. How had he never noticed her earrings before? Wait. Marinette told Kagami she had talked to Adrien tonight. If Marinette is Ladybug and Marinette admitted to talking to Adrien...

“And do you...I mean, do you know?”

She nods and he releases a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

“Claws in.” The green light of Plagg’s magic washes over him again. Plagg hovers above his ear before he zips into Adrien’s pocket, probably out of habit. Possibly out of respect. He and Marinette are standing across from each other, the Miracle Box in his hands between them. He should be happy right now. This is everything he never dared to hope for. But Ladybug's panic and Marinette's tears from before come back to him. She’s still uncomfortable even now, bracing her back against the wall.

He reaches out a hand to her and she hesitates before she takes it. He leads them both to her chaise to sit side by side, his knee barely touching hers. When he glances up, Luka’s hoodie makes a lump form in his throat. Maybe he’s too late. Maybe finding out he’s Chat Noir scared her off. Finding out that his Ladybug is none other than Marinette Dupain-Cheng is definitely terrifying him.

“So, I guess we should talk?” He ventures to ask, passing the Miracle Box over to her. She sits with it in her lap, toying with the closure. Thinking. “Does this mean we have to give up our Miraculous?” He puts a protective hand over Plagg, and he can feel his kwami quivering.

“I’ve been talking with Tikki about it.”

“And?”

“I was hoping this wouldn’t happen.” She starts to worry at her lip with her teeth. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to make the choice.”

She shouldn’t have to, not alone anyways. Not while he was sitting next to her. “You shouldn’t have to stop being Ladybug.” He spins his ring around his finger. “I’ll give up being Chat Noir if I have to.”

Her hand comes over to cover his, and she sets the Box to her side before she turns to face him.

“Don’t.”

She squeezes his hands before she retreats again. But she’s looking around her room now, like he’s seen her do before when she’s trying to find the solution to her Lucky Charm.

“Something’s different this time,” she mutters to herself.

“This time?”

She nods, her eyes still flitting around the room. He waits, picking at his fingernails impatiently, for her to come back to him. Her eyes do finally fall back on him. But she jolts off the chaise, scrambling and stuttering like he had surprised her. She composes herself relatively quickly.

“Sorry, I forgot I wasn’t… talking to Chat.” She blushes all the way to the roots of her hair.

A few of the missing dots connect in his head. He blushes in return, his hand finding the nape of his neck. “Milady… I have to ask. The boy you’re in love with…”

Marinette’s eyes widen and she backs away from him, her hands fluttering around her face nervously. “Boy? Oh that boy, the boy that I-I mean, of course I didn’t know-it’s not like if I had known it would’ve been-I mean, we’re friends and I didn’t want to-”

He waits patiently for the torrent to end. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you? What would I have to tell you? I mean-”

This time he cuts her off with a timeout signal before she can spiral. “Why didn’t you tell me about the scarf?” If she doesn’t want to go into her feelings tonight, that’s fine. He can wait. However long it takes, he’ll wait. She’s worth waiting for.

To his surprise, she winces. “You looked really happy that it was from your dad.”

The full force of her words hits him squarely in the chest. Once again, to his surprise, he starts to chuckle. She gets onto him all the time for sacrificing himself. Now that he thinks about all the sacrifices Marinette must’ve been making, and on her civilian side of the mask to boot, it just strikes him as ridiculous. His chuckle grows into a full-bodied laugh. Marinette giggles with him nervously, not quite understanding his reaction. His laughter fades as quickly as it came, and he stands to take her hands in his.

“Can I at least have the mittens from you, then?” He has to chuckle again as she stares at their linked hands, her blush covering her cheeks again, a dreamy smile spreading across her face. How had he ever confused her behavior for her being upset with him? It’s so obvious now that he’s paying attention. The boy Ladybug had been in love with the whole time was him. Marinette loves him.

But her happy energy fades as quickly as it came. She shakes her head and looks up into his eyes again, squeezing his hands before she drops them. The movement is too similar to what just happened with Kagami. It’s not good news then.

“There’s something else I think we still have to talk about.”

He has a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he’s about to get a rug pulled from underneath him. Of course he isn’t that lucky. Marinette might’ve loved him before, but she’s moved on now. That’s what this has to be about. He clears his throat, preparing for the worst.

“So let’s talk about it.”

***

@celestethegoddess

[sunflwrsjustdied]

Chapter 1 - Lux’s First Birthday

Noah’s physical appearance: Height - 4'8" Weight - 70lbs

••• = Third p.o.v

Masterlist

September.14.2012 Leeds, United Kingdom •HARRY’S P.O.V• “I remember your first birthday,” I said to the boy sitting on my knee.

We had just finished singing happy birthday to Lux, our hair stylist Lou’s daughter.

“I know, you’ve said it before,” Noah said, “Can I have my phone back   now?” He asked, wanting it back after I had taken it from him a while   ago  because he wasn’t paying attention to anything.

“Why don’t you play with Ben?” I offered to him, seeing Lux’s cousin  walking towards us. “Dad-” I stopped him right away, “Oh, come on,  Noah. Just play a bit of football with him and Elliot,”

“And then you’ll get your phone back,” I added when I saw he wasn't   convinced, “Fine,” He sighed, while Ben made it over to us, holding his   ball out to him.

I watched them, chuckling to myself when the two younger boys  thought   it was so amazing how high the older one could kick the ball.

I turned my attention to Tom and Lou who were “trying” to cut the cake. Trying as in not prepared for one another.

“Here, Tom.” Lou said, cutting a square piece of cake, and then holding it on the knife ready to slide it off. Tom wasn’t paying   very much attention and forgot to get a plate. He did have his hands held out.

He turned back, just as she slid it off, “Wait, Lou!” The pink frosted vanilla cake dropped into Tom’s hands.

“Tom,” Lou groaned, annoyance in her voice, “Well, I guess this is  my   piece.” Tom looked around, for a plate or a napkin, and upon not   finding it, he turned away and almost shoved the piece in his mouth.

I saw Noah walking back to table, a grimace pain over his features,   his hand covering the place of pain. “What happened?” I asked him,   snickering slightly already knowing.

“They kicked me in the balls, with the ball,” He groaned, holding his hand out for the white iPhone, and then he noticed Tom.

“Tom, what the hell are you doing?” Noah looked at Tom, clearly   amused. “Are you shoving cake in your face without anyone looking?   That’s so embarrassing!” He laughed.

“I believe it’s Lux’s birthday not yours,” Tom laughed as well at   Noah’s comment. “I know,” Tom shook his head smiling as Noah  handed him  a napkin.

•••

“Harry, would you like to hold her?” Tom Hull, a friend of Harry and Tom Atkin, asked. He was referring to his two month old daughter, Lullah.

“She’s sleeping so she won’t fuss about,” Tom explained, “Oh, sure,” Harry replied, Tom situated Lullah in Harry’s arms, supporting her head.

Harry stared down at Lullah, “She’s beautiful,” Harry mumbled, Tom nodded in agreement, “Yeah, like her mum,” the comment caused Jen, Tom’s girlfriend, to chuckle.

“Here, let me get a picture,” Jen said, pulling her phone out, “Smile!” She cheered, Harry did holding his arms up a bit.

“We can’t have enough pictures of her,” Tom said, “I want everything captured while she’s still this tiny and new,” Harry nodded in agreement, “Yeah, we have thousands of photos of Noah, just from his first year,”

“Where is he? I saw him briefly only,” Tom asked Harry, looking around, to see Noah walking towards the four people.

“Hi Tommy,” Noah greeted Tom, ever since they met, he called him Tommy. Due to him having so many Tom’s in his life, this one was special because Tom Hull always played football with Noah, sometimes they’d make instrumental music together because Noah could play drums, guitar and piano.

“Ah Noah! There you are,” Tom hugged Noah lifting him up, once sat down, Noah greeted Jen.

“Hi Jenny,” he hugged her, “Hi Noah, how are you?” She asked him, “I’m good, you?” He asked back with the politeness his parents and grandparents taught him.

“I’m great thank you,” Noah’s eyes drifted to the baby in Harry’s arms, she started to whine causing Harry to start rocking her like he had done years ago with Noah.

“Can I hold her, Tommy?” Noah asked, looking up to the blonde haired man, “Can he Harry?” Tom asked Harry, “Of course,” Harry nodded.

“If she gets too fussy, we’ll take her from you so you don’t suffer,” Jen teased, “Here, put your arms like your dads and make sure her neck is not dangling,” Tom explained as Harry gently laid a whiny and fussy Lullah in Noah’s arms.

Within seconds of being in Noah arms, Lullah calmed down, but her eyes were open. Staring up at the boy holding her.

“Oh that’s perfect, professional baby holder, even soothes her,” Tom clapped lightly, “I’m taking a picture of this too,” Jen said taking her phone back out. Noah smiled looking up at the phone.

“You know, her birthday is only six days after yours,” Tom stated, causing Noah to smile and look down at the baby in wonder.

He’s only nine and sibling less, any baby he ever held as someone else’s. Sometimes he wanted to ask his parents why he didn’t have siblings like many kids he knew. Ever since he moved to London with his father, he was often around adults, filming movies he was around adults. It shaped Noah’s personality to become more mature than most his age, for his language to be more advanced and sometimes crude. Anytime boredom struck Noah, he always went to anyone he could find to play with him. Sometimes, to him, it was nice to not be youngest person in the room.

“July babies, that’s what I’m captioning this picture,” Everyone chuckled at Jen

The party was coming to the end, everyone was leaving or preparing to leave.

Dean, Lux’s uncle wanted a picture with  Harry and Noah with his kids  Ben and Heidi, and his nephew Elliot. They  of course agreed, and posed  in front of Harry’s red jaguar car.

Harry squatted down, holding Heidi in his  lap, while Noah sat  slightly against the car with his arms around Elliot and Ben. After one  final goodbye, Harry and Noah got in the car and  left for a 3 hour  drive home.

“I don’t like this car.” Noah said out of  the blue, 30 minutes into  the car ride, looking around at it. It was  only a rental, as Harry’s  real car was in the shop.

Noah was always particular about cars, even if it’s temporary even if he was many’s years away from actually driving one.

“I know. You said it earlier.” Harry kissed  his teeth, he quite  liked the car, even if it was for a short time.  Harry trusted Noah  because of the fact the he actually had nice taste in cars.

He then started rambling on about the cars he wanted to buy when he was older.

About 2 hours into the car ride, Harry  looked over to Noah at a red  light and noticed he was sound asleep. He  smiled lightly. Keeping his  right hand on the steering wheel, he rested  the other on Noah’s  sleeping head, playing with his hair.

Harry’s entire world was under the touch of his hand, sitting right next to him. Harry couldn’t imagine life without his son.

Noah, such an interesting person.

Only 9, but he swore more  then most adults, no matter how many time  he’d be told not to, he  would. And he’s done it ever since he was just a   toddler. He had his  first taste of alcohol at age 5, given to him by   Harry’s cousin. Noah  absolutely loved the taste. Much to Harry’s   dismay. And there was no  doubt in Harry’s mind that Noah didn’t trick   somebody at that birthday  party they’d just been at to give him some.

Certainly he was a strong person, from just hours after birth he  showed just how strong he was. Always energetic, from the first time he   walked at 10 months old, he was always on the move. Even crawled fast.   So it wasn’t a surprise that he played every sport he could until just  a  few years back.

But this one person could make Harry’s heart swell to the brim with   love, or cause him anger toward anyone who hurt his precious boy. It  was  amazing to Harry what one person could do, what love could do. His  love for his son could make him do unbelievable things. He remembers the  day he told Noah that him and Rose were not going to be together.

At the age of 16 and 17, it was becoming impossible for Rose and  Harry to be together anymore. It was the middle of Summer, and in  September Rose would be in her second year of University, studying to  become an architect. The distance to her university from her home was  getting too far. She had to wake up early just to be able to drive to  school, not even counting the horrible drive home.

Harry and Rose loved each other, and they loved their son. But as  time went on, they continued to love their son, but the love for each  other was the love for one another as a friend, not romantically  anymore.

After a long talk, they decided to break up. Rose would move to  London, where her university was, and Harry would remain in Holmes  Chapel. As for custody of their son, they went to court for a legal  custody agreement, Rose allowed Harry to have sole custody of Noah,  believing that boys need their fathers more than their mothers. No  matter how much Rose loved Noah, she knew it was fair for Noah to have  Harry, because everyone knew he preferred Harry more. Because of the 4  hour distance, Noah would only be able to visit Rose when it was the  appropriate time.

Rose and Harry seemed to discuss and make decisions pretty easily,  but when it came to telling the most  important person, that’s when it  was difficult. Rose’s parent are still together, and by the looks of it,  they will be forever. Harry’s parents are not, and what scares him is  that he went through this ‘talk’ and he does not ever want to relive  something close to it again. So Harry put  it off, a lot. He put it off  until he had no choice any more, and they did it just 15 minutes before  Rose was leaving for London.

Noah sat on the floor playing with his toy Hot Wheels cars, Rose  and Harry sitting on the  couch in front of Noah. Harry’s palms got  sweaty, he was nervous. He’s having déjà vu of him and Gemma sitting on  the floor in front of  Anne and his father Des before they broke the  news. But now Noah is in Harry’s spot.

“Noah, your mum and I love you very much,” Harry started, his  palms sweaty, “But sometimes,  uh-um,” He started stuttering, trying to  think of the words his parents told him.

Rose didn’t want to say it but she had to, they can’t put it off  on the last day. So she blurted it out, “Noah, your dad and I are not  going to be together anymore and I’m moving away,” It wasn’t necessarily  how Rose imagined she’d word it, but she was just as nervous as Harry,  who puffed out a relived sigh that the news was out.

They watched Noah’s reaction, their hearts breaking, “What?” tears  filled the boys big blue eyes and leaked over the edge, spilling down  his face.

“No!” Noah cried, running into his mothers arms. “Luca, sweetheart,” Luca, a nickname given to him by his parents.

Gianni and Izabella (Rose’s parents), walk into the living room,  signalling to her that they need to leave, the scene was horrible to see  but they had to leave. The three stood up.

“Mummy!” Noah cried, “Ti amo, lo prometto,” Rose whispered to him  in Italian as she handed him into Harry’s arms, “Se mi amassi non mi  lasceresti!” Rose closed her eyes as she walked away, Noah’s words  replaying in her head. If you loved me, you wouldn’t leave me.

Harry stood with Noah in his arms, trying to calm him down, all  while feeling sad himself   watching Rose leave, he can smell her Alien  perfume on Noah and it makes him tear up.

Why wouldn’t Harry be sad? This girl is leaving, the girl who was  his first kiss, his first  love, his first and only child’s mother, his  first time.

Noah did not talk to Rose for weeks. Not until Harry forced him  to, but he never told Rose that part. But to the boy it seemed as though  she chose her future career over him. He was too young to understand  how that will affect her future for them both.

Harry remembered that day very well, just as well as when it happened to him. But the difference between him and Noah is that Noah changed after  that day. He wasn’t trusting as he used to be, he started getting in  trouble at school and found an interest in wrestling and boxing. Sort of  a way of him being able to take his anger out. The cliche of what  happens when parents split up.

After that day, Harry vowed that he would protect this boy and never let him get hurt like that again.

Harry opened the gate to the London home at 11pm, parking in the car  park. A heavily asleep Noah was challenging Harry on deciding to   carrying him or waking him up.

Basically asking himself, peace or anger?

'Peace.’ Harry thought without a doubt

Unbuckling Noah’s seatbelt, Harry slipped his hands under his arms,   picking him up. Making sure everything was locked or unlocked, he  walked  inside closing the door. About to attempt walking up 2 floors in  the  dark with a 9-year-old in his arms.

One hand holding the railing and counting the stairs from memory, he   managed to not trip and fall on top of his kid. Making it successfully   to his bedroom, deciding Noah would just sleep in his room tonight   because he absentmindedly walked past Noah’s bedroom because was tired   himself, and he wasn’t willing to go between another set of stairs.

Harry placed Noah on his bed, he took off his shoes, throwing them on the ground and pulling the blankets over him.

Harry then got ready for bed, resting his hand on Noah’s chest, feeling his son’s heartbeat, Harry fell asleep himself.

A/N Hello everyone! This chapter is absolute crap, but   it’s mainly about Harry and his feelings towards his son. If you  enjoyed  it, I’m surprised, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the book.  I’m just  really happy that I’ve finally published a chapter of this  books, I  thought I’d never get it done but I’m getting there. After 3  years, I  finally am! Thank you for taking your time to read this  chapter. - Isabella

*The chains that Noah are said to be wearing are chains that he will wear throughout the entire book*

[mermaidmovieclub]

Common Mermaid Movie Tropes (With Examples)

I’ve noticed with a lot of mermaid movies that a lot of them tend to share common tropes. I mention common mermaid tropes a lot on the Mermaid Movie Club, but thought, hey, maybe I need to come up with a handy list that’s easy to follow? Hey, that’s what blogs are for. Without further ado, a list of Common Mermaid Movie Tropes, and examples for each one. Since these are going to be part of the Mermaid Movie Club going forward, I thought I'd compile them neatly into a little list. Of course, this will be updated as I go through more movies. 😉

These are not taken from TVTropes, these are just things that I have found from watching these films/TV shows, so I just kinda made stuff up. Perhaps in due time I could make a list of tropes taken from TVTropes but that’s a loooooooooot to sift through.

(Also, this is not necessarily negative. Understand a lot of these will be interpreted differently from film to film. It's all about looking at something from a different angle, which a lot of these filmmakers do in their own way.)

1. The Only Way To Get What You Want is to Become Human Yourself

Literally what it says on the tin. The mermaid has to become human to achieve some kind of goal. Usually a romantic objective.

Examples: The Little Mermaid and most adaptations of it, Splash (1989), Aquamarine (2006)

Subverted in: The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea (2000), Barbie in a Mermaid Tale (2010)

2. Teenagers Scare the Living Fish Outta Me

Mermaid as a coming-of-age metaphor. For me it comes across as a kind of "fish out of water" metaphor but in the case of one film I have to rethink that.

Examples: The Thirteenth Year (1999), Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017), Blue My Mind (2017), Barbie in a Mermaid Tale (2010)

3. You Can Take Your Mermaid on Land Adventures, When She Dries Off, She Gets Legs

Again, what it says on the tin. The mermaid can achieve a human form but only when dry. When she touches water again she reverts back to her mermaid form.

Examples: Splash (1989), H2O and all of its spin-offs, Aquamarine (2006)

Splash: Obviously there’s the iconic scene with Madison unfolding her fins in the bathtub, and rushing to dry off when Allen calls for her. There’s also the scene where Walter Kornbluth sprays her down with a hose as she and Allen leave their dinner, effectively revealing her tail to the public.

H2O: This is revealed in the first episode where Cleo gets stuck in the bathtub after her tail develops, Emma transforms while swimming in the ocean, and perhaps the most telling of all is Rikki transforming after getting hit with a sprinkler. There are many more examples as the show goes on.

Aquamarine: Had an additional stipulation that she would have to be a mermaid at night, so it was almost like a werewolf-mermaid situation.

4. Born Yesterday

Mermaid is a bit naive to human things.

Seen in: The Little Mermaid (especially the Disney one), Splash (1989), Aquamarine (2006), Siren (2018-present)

5. Human Stuff

Mermaid falls in love with a human.

Examples: The Little Mermaid and all of its adaptations, Splash (1989), Aquamarine (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Siren (2018-present)

6. For Science

Mermaid is pursued by scientists for science.

Examples: Splash (1989), Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017), The 3 Tails Movie: A Mermaid Adventure (2015), Siren (2018-present)

7. Hush Hush

The mermaid has to keep her mermaid identity a secret, potentially as a result of For Science, as well as You Can Take Your Mermaid on Land Adventures, When She Dries Off, She Gets Legs. The mermaid might have to avoid water to avoid being exposed.

Examples: H2O and all its spin-offs, Aquamarine (2006), Splash (1989), Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017), The Thirteenth Year (1999), nearly all of them except for some older pre-Splash ones.

H2O: Just Add Water: The mermaids even have to drink water through straws to prevent the water from touching their skin.

8. The Power of Three

There's likely a trio of mermaids. Mostly common in H2O copycat shows on YouTube.

Examples: H2O and all its spin-offs, Mermaids (2003), as I said, a lot of H2O copycats on YouTube. Aquamarine includes a main cast of three, but Hailey and Claire are not mermaids.

9. Power Up

They have superpowers. That's it that's the trope

Examples: H2O and all its spin-offs, The Thirteenth Year (1999), Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017), Barbie in a Mermaid Tale (2010)

H2O: The core mermaids (Rikki, Cleo, Emma, later Bella) all have some kind of different water-based superpower.

Scales: Siren's powers in this movie are pretty similar to those in H2O, particularly, the ability to move water. At the end she kills a hunter by dehydrating him to death.

The Thirteenth Year: Cody Palpatine Griffin emits force lightning--I mean, static electricity

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale: Royals of Oceana are capable of producing Merillia, a sort of oceanic life force. 

10. I'm In the Sea, and I'm SINGING

Mermaid can sing, which checks out given the mythology honestly

Examples: The Little Mermaid and nearly all of its adaptations (especially Disney), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Siren (2018-present)

11. You Should See Me In a Crown

Mermaid is part of a royal family, most likely a princess. Her father is likely Neptune or Triton or Poseidon, or some non-specific King of the Sea. (Notice that the Queen of the Sea is rarely mentioned? That's weird, right?)

Examples: The Little Mermaid and all its adaptations, Aquamarine (2006), The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2001), Barbie in a Mermaid Tale (2010), implied in Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017)

The Little Mermaid: It's kind of the basis for the story itself. In Disney's The Little Mermaid (1989), Ariel is the daughter of King Triton and has six sisters. Her mother, Queen Athena, is not revealed until 2008 in The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning, but it's revealed that she was killed when Ariel was very young, so she doesn't exist by the time the original film takes place.

Aquamarine: Aqua's father is a non-specific king

SpongeBob: Mindy's father is King Neptune

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale: Merliah’s mother is Calissa, Queen of Oceana, overthrown by her sister Eris

Scales: Siren's birth mother is referred to as "the leader of the mermaids," and it is later revealed that they are both pureblood mermaids, which implies that Siren and Emerald are some kind of royalty. The film uses the word “leader” which is fairly vague, however.

12. Kids' Show

(I read this in my mind like the Will Ferrell/Molly Shannon “Dog Show” sketch from SNL.)

A character from a kids' franchise becomes a merperson themselves, most often to help other merfolk. This might also be reflected in a corresponding toy line.

Examples: Barbie (numerous titles), Dora the Explorer, Paw Patrol, Monster High, Sofia the First, Shimmer and Shine.

Barbie: Numerous mermaid characters exist in the Barbie Cinematic Universe (if that isn’t already a thing it is now), but at least five mermaid-centric Barbie films exist: Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia (2006), Barbie in a Mermaid Tale (2010), Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2 (2012), Barbie the Pearl Princess (2014), and Barbie Dolphin Magic (2017). There have also been multiple Barbie mermaid lines throughout the years, the most recent being part of the Dreamtopia line. A number of lines corresponded to the films, such as the Mermaidia and Barbie in a Mermaid Tale lines. (I’ve got one of Kayla from the first one somewhere)

Dora the Explorer: In the 2007 TV movie Dora Saves the Mermaids, Dora became a mermaid to help the crown of mermaid princess Mariana. Dora later reunited with Mariana in the Dora and Friends episode “Magical Mermaid Adventure” (1x13) in 2015. Dora once again became a mermaid in the 2012 episode “Dora’s Rescue in Mermaid Kingdom” (7x01). I remember there being dolls for Dora Saves the Mermaids but not for the other two.

Paw Patrol: The six main pups of the Paw Patrol become merpups (it’s exactly what it sounds like) in the 2016 episode “Merpups Save the Turbots” (3x21B). Initially it’s just Marshall after he is turned by a mother merpup but later all the pups have a merpup form. I don’t remember a ton of toys for this one, but I often run into the merpup bath squirters, namely Skye.

Monster High: Lagoona Blue, daughter of a sea monster, is a part of the core team of monsters, but she’s more Mermaid-Adjacent. The first true mermaid character to be introduced to the franchise was Sirena von Boo, the daughter of a mermaid and a ghost, in the 2014 Freaky Fusion movie and doll line of the same name. Later on, the 2016 Great Scarrier Reef movie coincided with a corresponding doll line of the main monsters as mermaid-like creatures, with the addition of some new aquatic characters such as Posea Reef, Kala Mer’ri, and the two-headed Peri and Pearl Serpentine. (Mattel had a similar line called Ever After High that featured Meeshell Mermaid as the daughter of the Little Mermaid, but there was never any kind of mermaid line or movie made for it, which, come on, I wanted mermaid Raven Queen.)

Sofia the First: 2013′s “The Floating Palace” was a special episode that aired toward the end of the show’s first season. In it, Sofia meets mermaid princess Oona and Queen Emmaline, and helps them stop Cedric from taking the magical Mermaid Comb of Merroway Cove. Of course, in order to do that, she has to become a mermaid herself. Along the way, her magical amulet summons Ariel because this is a Disney Princess show and her amulet just magically summons Disney Princesses when she needs a pep talk because of course it does.

Shimmer and Shine: In the 2016 episode “Mermaid Mayhem” (2x06), Leah wishes she and her genies, Shimmer and Shine, were mermaids. If only it were that easy. Yep. There were toys. Just expect it at this point.

Subverted in: Elena of Avalor: Song of the Sirenas

13. Looks Like a Seannamon Roll But Could Actually Kill You

This is really just a trope for sirens or "darker" mermaids

Examples: Siren (2018-present), She Creature (2001), Killer Mermaid/Nymph (2014), Mermaid's Song (2018), Night Tide (1961)

14. Mermaid-Adjacent

Not quite a mermaid but similar human-fish hybrid.

Examples: The Shape of Water (2017), Creature from the Black Lagoon (1953), also the Zora race from the Legend of Zelda games even though that’s not a movie, shut up it counts

15. Gadgets and Gizmos Aplenty

There is some kind of magical trinket used by the mermaids, typically a piece of jewelry with magical properties.

Examples: The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea (2000), Scales: Mermaids are Real (2010), H2O: Just Add Water (2006-2010), Mako Mermaids/Mako: Island of Secrets (2013-2016), both Barbie in a Mermaid Tale movies (2010 and 2012)

TLM2: Melody's locket, a gift to her from King Triton, projected an image of Atlantica when opened, but otherwise didn't do a lot.

Mako Mermaids: The mermaids possessed blue moon rings, which store moonlight and can be used to perform different magical functions dependent on the situation.

H2O: The necklaces worn by Rikki, Cleo, and Bella in the third season serve a similar function to the Moon Rings of Mako.

Scales: Siren Phillips was given a special necklace by Crystal which seems to serve as a kind of homing device. It's not explained in depth what it does exactly, but it performs a similar function to the Wailing Stick if I remember correctly, which was a sort of mermaid distress signal.

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale: When Queen Calissa gave baby Merliah Summers to Break, she gave Merliah a magical necklace that, years later, revealed to her and Zuma that Queen Calissa was still alive after Eris overthrew her from the throne of Oceana. Merliah is later given a necklace by Calissa that allows her to alternate between human and mermaid forms at will. In Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2, Kylie Morgan steals the necklace out of Merliah’s hoodie when Hadley is distracted and uses it to become a mermaid herself, so it’s clearly not specifically made for Merliah to use.

If it counts, Ursula’s soul-stealing necklace in The Little Mermaid (1989) is one of these as well.

16. You Want Thingamabobs? I've Got Twenty

Girl is a hoarder, or fascinated by human trinkets.

Examples: The Little Mermaid and nearly all of its adaptations (especially the Disney one)

17. The Mermaid Elder

An old woman that’s sort of a mermaid wise woman.

Examples: The Mermaid (2016), most interpretations of The Little Mermaid apart from the Disney one

18. Foreshadowing Name

Very very very obvious mermaid name.

Examples: Barbie in a Mermaid Tale/2 (2010/2012), Scales: Mermaids are Real (2017), Aquamarine (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale/2: You really expect me to think a girl named Merliah isn’t gonna be a mermaid? Come on.

Scales: I feel like naming your kid Siren in a town full of mermaids AND where there are known mermaid hunters is just a great example of not thinking things through.

Aquamarine: Self-explanatory.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Astrid Berges-Frisbey played main merm Syrena in this movie. There were other named mermaids in this, I think, but Syrena was the most prominent, obviously.

[ton-e]

Lol ok so I didn't wanna do aesthetics so I wanna brainstorm possible scenes instead

Ok so the premise is, basically, Viktor, an aspiring kid looking to enter this straining affair of the boxing world. He's young and impressionable and he's got something to say. Something that old underground New York pubs and junior gyms don't provide enough eco for.

Barnes, a big shot star in the 80s, is pretty much known as the best of the best there, holding the impressive score of 34-1. (Tho I don't know if it can count as a victory since he wasn't even there for the fight, anyway) but after a near fatal shooting which happened right before his big championship match with Rollins, a bullet piercing his right shoulder which leads to the amputation of his limb, he dissapears into the shadows. The world moves on.

I like the idea of Barnes being trained by Mary who was in his exact same spot years ago but had to give up her career to have Anthony which she doesn't regret! Between her heart problems and the growing annoyance of public attention, a baby is practically a blessing and if it puts Jarvis and Howie to rest then it's a bonus. (I also kind of like the idea of her having only losing once and it was against Maria lol)

And maybe Viktor goes to her first but, while she does seem fond, like she's looking at an old memory twice, she refuses. "Kid, I'm gonna tell you exactly what I told my old pain in the ass when he stood in your spot: I can't."

"Why?"

"Because us Carbonells train to kill, not fight. Alright, what you think boxing is, - this cookie-cutter bullshit version you kids have today? The civilized conversation, the heavy editing, the contracts promising defenses, - that doesn't mean shit. Apollo Creed had a contract.

Muhammed Ali had a contract. So did Jimmy Doyle, Frankie Cambell, and Brad Connels. A sheet of paper can't protect you from the ring, and I'm not having another kid on my conscience. Besides, these guys? They have purpose. Whether it's money, or sport, or just to chase the high - they have it. You just want the glory."

"Yeah? So what?" So what if he wants to be seen? So what if he's doing all of this hoping to impress? So what if he has to prove he's worth someone's time. "If I die I die. Big deal."

For some reason, he wants to both cry and retaliate at the look of pity that crosses her face. "Go home, kid. You're gonna break your momma's heart." Are his last words to him before she closes the door.

In a Viktor fashion, he does the exact opposite.

He likes the street fighting, - the vibrations under his fists, the crack of his bones, the violent taste of crimson metal blossoming in his mouth, it's liberating. He doesn't think about anything. It's just him and his adversary, not an enemy, just someone seeing him as Viktor sees them. That rush could ruin a man.

It doesn't hurt he's making pocket money on the side, either. Certainly better than watching some snotty kids or mowing laws, in his book.

No, what kind of hurts is seeing the sharp scrutiny in Aleksei's sharp eye and the soft disappointment uncovering Ryurik's Dad Stare when they come pick him up from the station.

He and his mother are alike a lot in that aspect, - really he's pretty sure the five, Sasha and him have had an agreement to collectively throw themselves off a cliff if they disappointed Ryurik in some way. A broken arm, bruised ribs, and black eye? Pale in comparison to what Ryurik's power really holds.

I refuse to believe Aleksei doesn't freely parent other people's kids sksk Aleksei only stops scolding him when a police officer says ''He's going to spend the first part of his life in the streets, and the other in the grave. I put my life on it." Well a certain fashion teacher is gonna design the outfit for your funeral BITCH-

"You're so damn lucky Talusha was busy digging her medicure through someone's intestines right now. Do you even know how bad you look right now? Of the mountain of trouble you're into? Are you? Viktor Iosef Novak, you look at me when I'm talking to you, -"

"Relax, relax, take it down to a two, " Viktor pushes back a laugh watching Ryurik placate his husband bc it's just cute, and ignores the shush river of Russian pet names bc they're not for him to hear. It makes him feel vulnerable tho, that Ryurik feels the need to somehow hold Aleksei back. He can take the heat just fine.

He can take it and give it just as good, because every battle he's been into before has been on his own name. But this is harder because it was never a fight, to begin with.

Fighting is easy. Stopping is harder.

It doesn't stop feeling bad when Sasha bandages his wounds and his back doesn't cool town from the target five pair of eyes fixate on. Yasha's burn the hardest thought. "The fuck you looking at?" He playfully glares, the good part of his shoulder bumping against the other boy's, who tries to small but it lifts with a strain.

"An idiot."

"Are you looking for a mirror?"

"Fuck you, Vitya."

"Hard pass."

"Okay, Viktor you're not getting away that easy, " Ronin says, arms still bound tightly around Antoska's slender shoulders and Sasha's frail middle. Despite his easy going tone, Viktor uncovers the touch of concern underneath. "Why can't you just ask your mom to teach you? Or Papa? I mean, you want to be on a knuckle sandwich diet be my guest, but it's not really good for digestion from what I hear."

"It's not the same. Your father knows another kind of style."

'He doesn't want to learn from mom and uncle Ryurik because she's a girl,' Sasha signes irritably, eyes making an impressive tumble. 'My brother, the 14 year old, making sexist comment. What a never heard of fact.'

"I didn't say that!" He exclaims, flushed. Hissing when Natalia kicks him in the tender bruise he sports on his hip. "I just said, that I want to learn boxing! And that's not the same thing as what Ma does, or you guys do. Boxing is special. But if I can't learn from Barnes specifically, then there's no point!"

The red head huffs in indignation. "Okay, so, boo hoo, some washed-up Rocky Balboa doesn't want to train you. You have options, V. People give up over worse."

He doesn't feel like being home anymore, so he flees, the call outs to his name going ignored. in the street or just outside, he doesn't know. He just knows red follows him, that concrete shakes under the stomp of his heel and that the wetness on his cheeks freezes on his face. No one gets it, no one gets HIM. It hurts, that a part of him, the part that tells him he's worthless and insignificant and forgetful , really does think Barnes has better things to do than train him.

A sleek car, long, vintage, a touch too expensive for the streets he's haunting right now, stops beside him. He continues. It follows him, engines unusually quiet.

"Mr. Novak?" A deep voice, subdued, but persuasive nonethelesss coerces him into stopping. The windows roll down, revealing a man with a smile too friendly to be true and eyes too kind to be nondeceiving. "My name is Alexander Pierce. And I happen to have an irresistible offer."

"It's in the process of extension, " Pierce expresses later, as he leads Viktor through the underground fighting bar. Its practically a huge stadium in a molehill and his mind struggles to compute how Pierce pulled it off. "I'm looking for capable young talents to craft into tomorrow's brightest stars. I'm assuming you've heard of Rumlow before?"

"Crossbones? 23-2? Yeah, I heard. He's currently heavyweight champ, right?" Barnes should have been, he wants to say, but reading the room better he thinks against it. "I don't... Actually think I've seen him around much. Maybe since '98, but that's his most recent match. What's ... Up with that?"

"He's kept that belt around him for closer than two decades. Id say its time for some adjuments in the records, don't you agree?" He doesn't like it when Pierce smiles. Bad things happen when he smiles, of that Viktor is certain. "That being said. I think you could be our following breakthrough. What do you say? I'd love to see a performance. "

"I'd be surprised if you guys had a Juniors league." He snorts, expecting a smart retort, but all he gets is a sinister grin. All of a sudden he's in the ring, without even noticing he was moved, and before him stands a beast of a man, two heads taller and promise of pain in his eyes. "... What juice do you give this kid?"

"You're charismatic. You'll need that in this world. He's your adversary for tonight. I'd suggest an old fashioned glove bump for the sake of sport, but, seeing as you're barehanded id advise against it. "

"You can't do that, " nervousness bubbles in his throat. "That's against the rules. I can't fight like that."

"Oh! Don't worry. You don't have to fight. You just have to die."

--

The last time Rumlow sees Barnes is on a stretcher, arm bathed in blood and with the press around an ambulance.

He doesn't know what they were. Fuck buddies to almost friends to friends with benefits? He doesn't know what he had, but he knows he lost it. All he has is a sheet of paper with scratched blue ink, digits that no longer call, and some gold on leather.

"You should treat that belt with more respect. " Rollins scolds him. Rumlow uses it as feet rest next, and doesn't flinch at the sharp slap he receives. Instead, he smiles mockingly, lower lip sticking out in a tempting pout.

"Hit a bit harder next time and maybe it'll be half close to how Barnes used to do it. Just because it felt good with him doesn't mean you'll receive the same response." The pout slips into a smile that drinks into the frustration sizzling around the air. "Besides, I don't listen to cowards, Jackie. Thought we established that."

"Oh, please. Are you ever going to let that go? I ain't gonna repeat it a thousand times till you get It through that hard head of yours, but I didn't shoot your boy toy."

'' I didn't say you shot him. Pussy like yourself, I'm thinking you hired someone. Why did you do it? Hm? Were you that scared to fight him that you wanted to kill him? Hell, I don't blame you. Man sprints like Ali and serves like Creed. "

It's Jack's turn to return that grin, that fucking blood-curling grin. " Used to, for sure. Remember when he fucked up your pretty face in '84. Now? He's a street rat barely getting by, sniffing after junk and scraps just to stay alive. Must be hard to think about, I guess, that he used to give it so good and now he can't even hold you, can't he? Not with his cripple self. "

The beer can in Rumlow's hand spills over. Neither comment. "I ain't afraid of no half-man, Brocky, " Honey-sweet words make him sick. He wants to kick Jack out, but they both know he won't stay away, and that Rumlow won't keep him away. He's too dependent on him at this point. "And not stupid enough to think he's coming back."

"... You're right. You're not afraid to fight him. You've got a lot of words worth to point the finger at, but chicken shit? Ain't one of them. You know what I think?" Rumlow sits back, smirk wide and nasty, contradicting the sadness on his tongue, the venom, the tired. " I think you were afraid to be him. That he just? Didn't give a shit. Just like I did. That he could fuck me whenever and wherever he damn well pleased without giving a shit about who had something to say about it.

You were afraid I'd say something about you, even if we both damn well know that never happened, that he found out. I think you were terrified he was gonna tell the world Jack Rollins was a faggot just like his daddy."

He can't snapshot the moment his body makes contact to the floor. He doesn't count the punches either, letting them numb over his face, no longer present for the beating. At around one point, his neck snaps to the TV screen, in sync with Jack ceasing his onslaught, and his eyeballs follow his stunned gaze.

Rumlow can recall the time Barnes lost his right hand.

And he'll brain engrave the image of him kncoking some goon out with his left.